#he'll show you the jar he has ready for your heart like

[yanderefarm]

Us asking ares about his past darlings

🐀

cw;; gore, blood

"oh... you want to see The Collection?"

that sounds ominous. it doesn't get less ominous when he leads you to the basement either. he leads you past the storage to a room you didn't even know existed. it's full of tools and blood splatter and garbage bags. you recognize some of the tools to be knives he likes to use. it's a vile sight and you can only imagine how much worse it gets.

"this is the clean up room. but it's also where i keep all my ex boyfriends!"

he walks over to a large standing shelf, smiling as if this is all normal. you can see when you get closer, the shelf has 4 jars on it and each jar contains a human heart. ares takes a jar down from the shelf and smiles at you.

"this one is my ex husband. he's still looking good right?"

"what the fuck..."

"dont worry i don't have feelings for them anymore! they promised me their hearts. they don't get to give them to someone else now. just like you, darling."

[hyunverse]

dad activities ☆ stray kids hyung line

tags. fluff, headcanons. fem!reader. note. long time no update... (nervous giggles.) maknae line soon. enjoy <3

BANG CHAN...

he's a total girl dad. 100%.

chan is soft-hearted when it comes to his little girl. a glance of her puppy eyes and he'll surrender himself completely to her.

often times, you'll find chan sitting cross-legged with little ha-eun on a stool, giving your husband a makeover. no matter what ha-eun does to him, he'll simply let it be — even if she's dabbing a ridiculous coloured eyeshadow on his eyelids and tying a horrendous looking ponytail at the top of his head. if it makes his daughter happy, then he'll entertain it.

you can count on chan to get your daughter ready for school. he's mastered multiple hairstyles! whether it be a french braid or pigtails, chan made sure he's mastered them even before ha-eun was born. he loves preparing his daughter to school, enjoys the morning as he ties up her hair and makes sure she's dressed up nicely.

would not miss any single school event. talent show? sports day? bring your parent day? report card day? he has every event marked on his calendar, and never misses any. all the teachers and moms know him for being so present and sweet.

always has a hairtie on his wrist! ha-eun is a cheeky, cheeky girl — constantly running around. chris makes sure to have a hairtie prepared for moments where the little girl gets tired of her hair sticking to her face and ends up throwing a tantrum. of course, the other hairtie on his wrist is reserved for you. ♡

at the back of his car lays a my melody stuffie. he's proud to have it in his car!! every time someone gets in his car, he proudly says, "oh, that's my daughter's stuffie." the proudest dad around <3

overall, chris is a dependable and sweet dad.

LEE KNOW...

i see minho as a twin dad. a boy & a girl!!

having twins in the house, pranks become a common occurence. one twin would prank the other, then a revenge comes. it becomes a cycle!! you'd try to stop the prank war going on but it cannot be stopped when minho encourages it!!! sometimes he'll even conspire with the twins to prank you. watch out for the sugar jar as you make coffee because it might actually be salt.

i cannot explain this but he makes weird bento boxes. the typical ones would be of animals, or studio ghibli characters but he makes odd characters that are lowkey terrifying but the kids are so used to it that they're unaffected.

they'll never know what's coming for them when they open their lunchbox. it'll be either yet another jureumi-shaped bento or a weird-looking cat.

leaves cute little notes too! odd, and a bit threatening but cute nevertheless. some of the notes the twins have received range from — "fight back when someone bullies you," or "eat well or don't come home." they're all affectionate, but written in a very lee minho way that you can't help but smile when you read them.

you never have to worry about leaving the kids with minho for a long time. he's got you covered! the twins absolutely adore their dad. would spend an entire day building a fort and watching movies while you're out with your friends.

at the end of the day, when you're back from your outing, you'd come home to the sight of minho and the twins curled up in front of the tv, a studio ghibli movie playing in the background. ♡

CHANGBIN...

the ultimate boy dad!!

he would totally raise a gentleman. the kind to teach his son that chivalry isn't dead.

would 100% teach his son things like opening the door for other people, helping a senior citizen cross the road, and to carry mommy's grocery bags.

picture this. you're out buying groceries for the week. changbin and mini binnie are wearing matching jerseys & carrying grocery bags for you. so cute <3

would surprise you with your son!!! every single mother's day, he'd wake up early with the little boy to make you pancakes and scrambled eggs. sometimes they end up burnt but truly, it's the thought that counts.

ensures that his son does not forget your birthday!! you best believe that every single birthday you'll be pampered with gifts and handwritten notes from your hubby and son. <3

changbin has chronic dad jokes disorder and unfortunately, his son has inherited it. the little boy will have fun telling you dad jokes that changbin taught him.

also loves to play fight with his kid. you'd be watching tv and they'd be play wrestling in the corner, giggles filling in the house.

HYUNJIN...

twin dad through and through. a son and a daughter who'd get showered with love <3

hyune's a man of duality. he can go from boy dad to girl dad in one minute.

one moment he's playing soccer with your son in the backyard, giggling as kkami joins in the fun, little barks accompanying laughters.

or he'd be helping the little boy build the coolest train tracks ever. it's so long and loopy, stretches from the living room all the way to the front door.

the next moment he'd be playing tea party with your daughter, learning how to hold a small tea cup with his pinky up.

would end up coming out of the play room with a messy manicure and a tiara on his head. he doesn't complain. might give you a little twirl just to make his little girl happy.

he would even build the prettiest dollhouse for her. it'd be a whole project, would spend days building a dollhouse and they'd have fun painting it together.

i think hyune is the kind to support and encourage his kids to find new hobbies. his son wants to enroll in taekwondo? sure, he'll take the boy to the first class. his daughter wants to try out ballet? he'll sign her up to a class, buy her a tutu and ballet slippers. he's just so supportive <3

often times, he'd take care of the kids while you go out with your girls. you'd come back to him asleep on the couch, while the (very much awake) kids draw on his face with sharpie ^.^

all in all, hyune's a doting, and supportive twin dad. <3

taglist. @zoe8stay @starlostseungmin @hwajin @sleepyleeji @jdopes-recorder @sherryblossom @alyszaen @hyunluvxo @bokk-minnie @ghostyycat7 @fortunatelyhertragedy @yongbokkari @ameliesaysshoo @seoli-16 @jisungsdaydreamer @soobnny @seolboba @in2heartz @jehhskz @astraystayyh @mnwrld @hanjsquokka @pheonixfire777 @sapphirewave @seunghancore

[shyfairies]

Hey could I get a JoJo’s matchup? (All I ask is any part but part eight since I haven’t finished it yet)

I very much love to joke around with others that I enjoy being around and always end up being upfront and blunt with who I am. Even with this, I don’t really like people all that much, preferring alone time with myself, except of course when it comes to the people I actually like. I would consider myself pretty intelligent, both emotionally and logically. Due to my very upfront nature, some people can find it jarring, but it’s fine to me.

I am a big fan of writing and reading, passionately so too. I also love RPGs and Table Top RPGs. Which means by extension, I can be a bit of a math nerd when it comes to games. I always love dissecting the media I enjoy, talking about each individual part and piece of the media I am consuming.

The main ways I show me caring about someone is usually being there for them, basically a listener. Quality time is a quick way to get to my heart regardless if it is platonic or not. Hopefully you can find a match!

i match you with...♡

☆rohan kishibe☆

i feel like you guys would work together really well

you both are comfortable with just having your own space and chilling on your own

but when you are together you guys can have a really good time

he loves that he's dating someone who's actually smart bc he's tired of being around idiots all the time (*cough cough* josuke)😭

he always lets you read his manga before anyone else

you guys like to dissect it together

hear me out

his guilty pleasure is dnd

he honestly loves that you're blunt?? like he loves that you're always gonna be real with people

you're like a breath of fresh air to him

that's why he fell for you

he feels like you guys just click so well together

i could see you guys spending quality time by just sitting in his office keeping him company while he works

you don't even have to be talking, like you can just be doing your own thing

you guys just feel comfortable being in eachother's presence

he'll get so used to it that he'll start to miss you when you aren't around

like miss you bad

when you guys have an argument i feel like he'd write a note to you to properly communicate how he feels because it's easier for him to express himself that way

especially so there's less of a chance of him snapping at you

also likes to write you poems

this may be a far strecth but he might even write you love letters

sometimes he has a hard time showing that he loves you and he thinks a letter is a great way to do that

late night talks in bed are a yes

doesn't have to be about anything specific, maybe just telling eachother about your day

you really enjoy listening to eachother talk

definitely not into physical affection but if you're having a hard day and you just need a hug (if you like physical touch) he is definitely going to give you a hug

a silent hugger

like he'll just stand there and embrace you for a while until you're ready to let go

but if you don't like to be touched he will always be there to just listen to you, you can always talk to him about how you feel

i think he'd be more of an advice giver rather than a comforter?

one of the ways he likes to show his love is by brushing your hair (unless you're bald)

i think his favorite way to kiss you would be on the top of your head

likes to just stare at you and admire your features

he just thinks you're a work of art

and he is SO detail oriented

like he will remember every little thing that you like, or all your little habits and quirks, he'll even remember all your drink and food orders

it's the little things that he does

genuinely wants to marry you

will marry you

[igzsatelier]

Oh Hey Sunshine!

• He felt a spark the first time he meets you. A spark that made his heart skip a beat and a brief surge of excitement the day he laid his eyes on you. He'll be a bit dumbfounded when he noticed how odd he reacted to seeing you, but brushed it off as him being so intrigued by you that he has To-GA-ta greet you!

(pun intended. oh yeah you read that right i aint a coward)

• It starts off casual and friendly once he introduces himself. If you don't mind the unwanted dick flashing by accident that is, and he profusely apologizes for it. He swears he's not a creep, please give him a chance new friend! He takes these interactions with you slow and steady, wanting to create a new friendship with you.

"Oopsie! I didn't mean to do that. Haha!"

• Get ready to meet his friends too. Nejire and Tamaki, his bestest friends in the whole wide world! You have to get along with them because there's no such thing as 'if' when you're befriending Mirio's buddies since they mean a lot to him. You'll be dragged around by them so you guys spend a lot of time together and have lots of fun!

"These guys are my best friends. Let's hang out together today, just the four of us. I bet we'd get along swell!"

• Mirio will chat with you a lot. Most of time he does all the talking to fill in the silence between the two of you so there's no need to worry if you were a little reserved. He thinks it's cute if you were a shy person. It'll take every fiber of his being to not smother you with hugs. And he will if you let him.

"What's the matter? You look a little red there. Haha! You're so cute that it makes me wanna spoil you with tons of hugs!"

• Overtime, Mirio will be acting stranger than usual. He gets happy whenever he hangs out with his friends but that multiplied further whenever he sees you. He even goes as far as running up to you just to say hi. It was like he was meeting his favourite idol. He will even go out of his way to meet you personally and help you out. The excuse will always remain the same, "It's because I wanted to see you!".

• During conversations in groups, he always glances at you and eager to listen to your opinions. Your opinions sounds so interesting to him that he can't help but wanting to hear every word you say. If you don't voice them out loud, then he'll ask for your confirmation when he has an idea. He also makes sure he gets to be near you too. Honestly, you seem so fun to be around that he bets he won't ever get bored no matter what you do.

• Mirio is normally aware of his own wants and feelings. He always follows his heart, but with you he's a bit clueless in the beginning. He genuinely thought that he's being this way because he really, really, really wants to be great friends with you. But it got him thinking when Nejire and Tamaki pointed it out to him. Maybe its more than that? Does he like you more than just a friend?

• The face he makes when he realizes why he did and act like that was pretty endearing. He kinda acts like a highschool girl in love. Oh my gosh, he has a crush on you! No wonder he's been feeling fuzzy and warm in his chest whenever he looks at your cute face!

• Mirio becomes more talkative and waayyyyyyy more enthusiastic. Its like containing a buzzing bumblebee in a glass jar. Except the glass jar shakes uncontrollably when you hold it. So eager for you to let him out and let him buzz around with you for a long time.

• Talks his friends ears off talking about you. If they mentioned you once in conversations or anything they talk about was related to you, he'll immediately ramble about you for the whole conversation. Good luck trying to shut him up.

"Oh yeah, (Y/n) was talking about--"

"(Y/n) can do that too! I bet they're also--"

"They've also been--"

"Mirio, you've already told us about that a few times before."

"Oh, I did? I guess I was so excited that I lost myself there!"

• Mirio's rarely flustered, but with you he tries not to show it too much. His happy grin stays the same and his eyes twinkling with delight as per usual. However, that facade breaks slightly at some moments. A tint of pink colouring his cheeks as he rubs the back of his neck. His eyes shifting from one direction to another shyly. The one thing that stands out the most would be him stammering.

"O-oh, I was stammering? Hahaha...! That doesn't happen often. I-I just get so happy hanging out with you. You're a really interesting person, y'know?"

• His affections are... subtle? He's an affectionate person in general and yet it's sly in his own way. His hand at the small of your back as he guides you to meet Tamaki and Nejire. His toned chest rubbing against your back while he leans his head down near your ear, asking you what you were doing. Before he lets go of you from his embrace, his hand would be squeezing your hips and run small circles with his thumbs. His touch will always linger a little longer than normal.

• His nicknames for you would stay as: sunshine or cutie. Because you're so bright and super adorable. He often calls you that too(even though you two aren't together. not yet at least hehehe. hes a cheeky guy). If you pointed it out, he'll just brush it off as if its normal to call your friends sunshine or cute. His eyes glinting with mischief.

• His confession would be blunt and unexpected. He didn't mean to say it out loud(and so early right after he realizes he has feelings for you) but he couldn't help himself. Not when you look so beautiful and happy and cute in his eyes. God, he wants to make you his so badly that its a sin if he doesn't try!

• If you reject him, he would be understanding and respects you. That doesn't mean he'll give up that easily though. He'll even tell you too. He's an honest person and he'll keep trying to win your heart. If you still aren't into him, he'll stop. He did his best, and seeing you uncomfortable because of him would be the last thing he wants. Just being able to be friends with you makes him happy and grateful to be able to experience these exciting feelings you brought up in him.

• If you accept him

• Well

• I hope you're prepared to be smothered by his love the moment you give him your answer.

"That's great! Let's go out on a real date then, sunshine!"

A real date?

"Yeah! The dates before we're more like mini-dates practice. Sorry for not telling you earlier. Hahaha!"

[yanderes-galore]

yandere Gundham Tanaka where he rejects your love confession only to become obsessed later on but now S/O has a boyfriend

Sure!

Yandere! Gundham Tanaka Rejecting A Love Confession

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Yandere behavior such as a forced relationship, implied stalking, implied murder.

Gundham is very solitary and not one for intimacy. Due to his own discomfort of human contact he rejects your confession. It's sad, mostly for you, but you move on.

Gundham on the other hand, starts to regret his decision. He's taking care of his Dark Devas, whom he cares for deeply, but he can't help but realize something. Maybe he should of humored you and accepted.

He plays it off like he isn't bothered. He's slowly coming to terms with how lonely he truly is the more he communicates with his classmates. The fact that you show him kindness everyday makes him feel warm, a feeling he isn't used to.

He can't help but yearn for you to ask him again. This time he feels he's ready to say yes. But the longer he waits, he realizes you aren't going to ask again.

He can't help but watch everything you do with a renewed interest now. It's become so hypnotizing to watch you. He wonders why he feels like this all of a sudden.

When you speak with him after the confession he hides his face with his scarf. Why is he all of a sudden so weak? Why do you make him feel so fuzzy.

He thought he preferred a life away from people. He feels disgust towards others, but not you. Perhaps is was foolish of him to reject your feelings.

He's nervous but he hides it. He asks you about it again. But, your response is jarring to him.

"I'm sorry, Gundham... Someone already asked me out."

His heart stops. Already? Someone else has claimed you as theirs already? He really was a fool, wasn't he?

Whoever this person was didn't know what they were getting into. They weren't worthy of your affections. In fact, you asked him out first. You've clearly chosen someone already!

Gundham dismisses himself from the room and contemplates. It's fine, he'll find another way.

Even if it means killing them.

[normal-person-wannabe]

Talk less, smile more (LMM/Reader)

Chapter 2

Notes:

Hey friends, i finally found the time to write this second chapter. Hope you like it. Oh, and if you want to be added in the taglist for the following chapter you only have to ask. See you soon. Stay safe. Word count: 1093 tw: swearing, mentions of sex

Your apartment's door slammed shut and you flew down the stairs like you were being chased by that one old uncle -who's not your real uncle- that every Christmas asks you if you're still single and makes unpleasant remarks about how if he were younger he'd "show you" how beautiful you are.

But risking a couple of broken bones was worth it: you did not want to be slapped by your sister, although you must admit, she knows how to make you fall into line and save yourself -and others- from your horrible time management skills. Sometimes she can scare the crap out of you, even though you know she does it for your own good.

You walk through your building gate at 6:55, thank goodness. No sign of that yellow tuna can of hers that somehow manages to resemble a vehicle. You start playing the game that you always play when you are waiting for someone: "guess the story of this bystander's life".

Like, look at that guy over there. He has a briefcase in his left hand and his phone in the right. He's walking slowly, his head lowered as if he was eaten up by guilt or shame.

Oh, he must've fucked up real hard. It could be a work thing.

Or -wait- maybe it's something more interesting, like he lost a lot of money at a casino in Vegas, perhaps even cheated on his wife with the dealer, or-

Stop, just stop. Your brain is going too fast. You're not a 3-year-old on Adderall, you're an adult, responsible, and -Oh my God!!

What if he has murdered someone and now he's regretting it!

Nope, not ok y/n, not okay. You'll behave yourself, because you're not nervous, you're not afraid that this "thing" you have with him will go south just before it really has started and you will end up hurt and shattered into tiny little pieces because you believed in it, and you poured your soul into it only to be disappointed by the harsh reality: you are not worthy of love. You're chaos. You have no chill whatsoever. For you, it's all or nothing, and-

6.58. That's weird, she's not at least three minutes early. You were starting to worry when there it was, her yellow little tuna can.

«What the hell...» you muttered, causing a puff of condensed air to pirouette out of your mouth. Three pairs of hands waved frantically at you from within the vehicle.

«Oh no, the whole gang is here...»

«Change of plans» Your sister screamed as she got out of the car «Come in for a hug, sweetheart, I missed you!»

«I missed you too,» you replied in a whisper, almost choked by the tightness of her embrace.

«Hop in, hun,» She said «we -and by we I mean me, you, Kate, and Liz- have plenty to talk about»

«We sure do» you sighed. The prospect of three women interrogating you like they were the freaking FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit was not a good one. You'd rather spend a peaceful evening alone with your sister and a plate of linguine allo scoglio but there's no going back now.

   «Are you ready to order, mie care signore?» the waiter asked, with a big smile and a slight wink.

«Yes, we are,» your sister answered in a cheerful tone «And how are your wife and baby, Andrea? I hear he's got his mother’s beautiful green eyes.»

«Oh, he's a very well-behaved baby, if you don't take into account the part in which he doesn't let me and my wife sleep more than an hour a night. But anyway, what can I get started for you lot this evening?»

«For me a pizza caprise?» Liz replied hastily. Liz had to be always the first one to do anything, which is why she had "mommy issues" and written all over her face.

«Capreese? Sorry, I’ve not yet figured out how to pronounce it»

«It's actually Caprese, which means from Capri, ma’am. That’s also where my mother was born.» he said, with a glimpse of pride in his eyes.

«Oh, that makes sense. So a pizza Caprese and a medium brown ale.» said Liz

«A pizza Caprese and a medium brown ale for the lady» he repeated while scribbling on his notepad.

«I'll take the seafood linguine and a white wine of your choice. I trust your judgment» intervened Kate in an almost less than a whisper. She's the cutie and the shy one of the group. And the one men usually prefer since she has the face and the voice of a Cherub come straight from heaven.

«I’ll take the ravioli burro e salvia. And can we have a jug of water so we can share it?» my sister added. «Oh and bring also a hot hot tea, 'cause she has to spill some!»

It was a "wink wink nudge nudge" situation. You felt their eyes on you and their laughter, but your mind was oh-so elsewhere.

«And for you, Antonio's favorite, who’s always daydreaming and never pays attention to me? The usual?»

Kate gave you a first nudge in between your ribs, but you were far, far away, back to when your heart was beating so fast you thought it might just give up, and his cock was filling you up so completely you forgot that a world existed outside of the heaving mess you were. You'll never forget those moments of beatitude, nor the raspy groans and luscious whispers that into your ears and onto your skin felt like velvet and honey. Kate gave you another nudge, this time so hard your head bolted upwards. You looked like you were caught with your hands in a cookie jar. Your cheeks were a bright red. And you were insanely hot. And a tad bit wet.

«Hey, yes, sorry, I was... yes I’ll take the pizza fantasia, so Antonio can surprise me.»

You always ordered that, and Antonio even said to you that you’re his inspiration for new pizza flavors. He also bought a little notebook with your name on it, in which to keep track of all the pizzas he made, so as not to make you the same pizza twice. He’s been so kind to you you couldn't not invite him to your graduation. He looked even more proud of you than your actual parents were that day. You loved the man.

«Sure, he'll be pleased you came back, he was starting to worry you would go to that new place across the street»

«Oh, I could never. He's like family to me. To us. You all are.»

«Thanks, ma'am, I'll be back in a sec with your complimentary antipasti della casa,  and your drinks.» You thanked him and smiled sheepishly. You knew what was coming next and you braced yourself for the pack of wolves in front of you that now has shifted its focus from the waiter to you, ready to jump right at you and bite your ass. 

«So» They all exclaimed almost in unison.

«So» You replied, biting your bottom lip.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Ready for 💔 💔 💔? Jimmy: didn't bring a 🎻 in but there'll probably be a 🌧 about in a bit so go on Janis: Clearly you didn't watch enough back to school hauls to adequately prepare yourself Janis: 🙄🙄 Janis: you'll never guess who found her way to the 'how to catch a man' side of youtube though Jimmy: if it's Helena I really am fucking gutted Janis: Unlikely Janis: less she starts making a big deal out of how her MASSIVE TITS are slowly crippling her Janis: 🐰 has gone full 🐰🥘🥣 Jimmy: what the fuck kind of emojis are them? Janis: it's not my fault there's not a decent pot! Janis: also pretend to be gutted or she will be Jimmy: [draws her a lil pot emoji obvs] Jimmy: Who's pretending? 😭😭😭 Jimmy: have to console thinking about Helena's MASSIVE tits Janis: 👏 dead convincing there Janis: like 💀👑 trying to talk her out of it 'cos she's FUMING Jimmy: should've asked me to do the job for her Janis: check your DMs I'm sure she has Jimmy: [sends her some of the hilarious random DMs he has been sent lately like a highlight reel] Janis: the 💦💦 is endless Janis: you're SUCH old 🗞s Jimmy: 👴💔 Janis: at least you don't have to waste a load of 💸 on tat for her in a months time Janis: which is the only reason she's decided to get in a VERY committed relationship with a 13-year-old in the year below Jimmy: Tah for the reminder to crack on with this fake break up before then Jimmy: good job our kid's young as he is or I'd have to 🔐 Janis: I'm the one doing the breaking up, remember that first Janis: seriously though Janis: doing my head in Janis: get yourself 💐🍫 if you're this arsed gals Jimmy: �� on loads of 'em doing that Jimmy: should probably set up that 💌 bollocks you were on about before Janis: boys handwriting would be invaluable to 'em Janis: can't stop dotting their ❓ with ❤ Jimmy: can write with both hands an' all so it won't even be knackering Janis: show-off Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 Janis: just leave your shit chat up lines like that out Janis: dead giveaway Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I know what I'm doing Jimmy: just gotta decide who I wanna send ones that ain't been paid for to for the #drama Jimmy: and whose name I wanna 🖋 Janis: [list of the 'loved up' couples of the moment that ain't them] Janis: stick whoever you wanna see get smacked on there Janis: easy Jimmy: this school have a postbox for it or what? Janis: yeah Janis: any excuse to be cringe Jimmy: I'll make sure yours is MASSIVE, don't worry and a top work of 🎨 OBVS Jimmy: 😘 Janis: my biggest concern, OBVS Janis: if you're still here I can do it the day of for all the 💔 points for you Jimmy: we're all 🤞 Lucas'll get on the roof 💐🍫😍 and fall off but you might have to put up with ✨ pissing out all over you when you open a card from me and nowt else Jimmy: that's your 💔 Janis: looking for broken 🦴s Janis: disappointing but not surprising Jimmy: UGH fine, I'll get on the roof Janis: bet we can Jimmy: let's go then Janis: now? Jimmy: you got owt else on? Janis: obviously not Jimmy: so come on Janis: be easiest to get up there from outside the music room Janis: do you know where that is? Jimmy: direct me Janis: [do that] Janis: wait for me if you get there first Janis: sir is insisting I can't go piss because someone else just did, as if our bladders are connected Jimmy: can't do that to lasses hasn't he heard Jimmy: tell him you're about to 💀💀💀 of toxic shock Janis: sadly raging at him over my blob gives off big angry lesbian vibes Janis: and I don't actually have a bloody tampon to throw at him Janis: I'll just leave in a sec but he's being a twat Jimmy: have to be the fake pregnancy fall back AGAIN Janis: one up Asia's news a bit Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: how long ago were the PE cupboard 💕? Janis: I haven't got a diary Jimmy: 😱😱 It weren't the best day of your life! 😱😱 Janis: best OF the day, how about that? Jimmy: bit rude of Asia to nick your phone Jimmy: I get that she don't want her big day ruined but Janis: 😏 Janis: like she's suddenly a top codebreaker Jimmy: #plottwist Janis: 🤓🤓💕 you 2 Jimmy: you 2 more like Jimmy: her being a dickhead means she likes you, DUH Jimmy: must be what the phone nicking were really about Janis: plottwist, they're all massive gays Jimmy: they're going on about sleepovers whenever I open the group chat Janis: you're that cliche? Janis: 👌 Jimmy: just saying it won't be a massive plot twist Janis: in your dreams, dickhead Jimmy: *nightmares Janis: 👻 do I hear someone protesting? Jimmy: Bill's lurking about loads when I get fuck all 😴 he knows I ain't pissing about wasting what dreams I do have Janis: Nice of him to entertain you Jimmy: you've seen my other offers Jimmy: didn't fancy none of them Janis: Fair Janis: he's got some witty bants at least Jimmy: he does alright Janis: better than the alternatives Janis: if I had a sleeping pill hookup, I'd take 'em myself Jimmy: you wanna watch out on that roof, mate, dunno how he'll feel about such a backhanded compliment Jimmy: steady on, bit rude to all the 🐑 hanging about for you to count, that Jimmy: how many #haters you want? Janis: you can pretend you pushed me if you're worried Jimmy: I 💭 that were the point of going up there Jimmy: no need to pretend owt Jimmy: we'll both be 💀💀💀 Janis: alright Janis: [show up] Jimmy: ['bit awkward if you've found a will to live' said like a saucy challenge] Janis: [just a look like does it look like I have? as much of a challenge as we try to find the way up onto the roof 'cos you know it's not that well hidden or secured] Jimmy: [a LOOK because always but we're also helping not just making intense eye contact forever lol] Janis: [remembering our sims school there was multiple levels so maybe you can get on the second story roof if not the third, anyway, letting you 'cos we can, even if you've got to do some lowkey parkour here, help each other and don't die] Jimmy: [it's a mood so we must, I hope your ribs are a bit more healed boy, don't do yourself further injury please] Janis: [rest when you're up there and we're just LOOKing at you like what now] Jimmy: [lighting up 🚬 for you both and doing heart shaped smoke rings because we're on a vday theme which you can totally show her how to do for some #content while you're up there] Janis: [can only imagine the funny face you're gonna have to pull to achieve that which thank god or it'd be too hot already] Jimmy: [all I can think about is when Liam and Edie were on the roof of that house they were staying in and he said he loved her so RIP me and them] Janis: [oh yes I remember that, soz we killed you guys] Jimmy: [anyway give her whatever doodle you've done today as well so she can have it in person cos I like to think you've not seen each other yet] Janis: [always love that, so much that we have to walk away and be peering over the edge dangerously just to diffuse that situation] Jimmy: [jimothy will probably pee over the edge just cos he can haha] Janis: [boy perks] Jimmy: [and they were talking about going for a piss and stuff like that always makes you want to] Janis: [you can't girl we're not falling off forreal, so hold it and contend with finding shit to throw onto the next roof down] Jimmy: [likewise join in with throwing stuff until there's nothing left and you can take your turn to LOOK at her like what now] Janis: [sharing that intense eye-contact for forever like] Jimmy: [we're not breaking it but we are pulling her closer to us] Janis: [writing 'morning' somewhere on his arm, whether we have to pull up his blazer or whatever to do that, we is] Jimmy: [writes 'good' on her in the same place because it is a good morning now we've seen the bae] Janis: [✔ like same] Jimmy: [teach her how to sign it because why not] Janis: ['we get it, you're good with your hands' 'cos mentioning being ambidexterous earlier and we KNOW so] Jimmy: [😏 and kiss her like excuse you I'm good at this too] Janis: [no room or energy to disagree here hen] Jimmy: [nobody's likely to appear and interrupt you up here lads so just enjoy that alone time] Janis: [we know we're gonna, even though it's January and this is scandalous because duh, how can we not] Jimmy: [you have done and will do way worse so] Janis: [should post those unfy smoking roof pics as we're getting down though so everyone knows you were up there but teachers can't actually prove that you were so] Jimmy: [if the teachers are checking your socials they'll get arrested hens] Janis: [easy mr lucas] Jimmy: [but yeah everyone will be well jel, blatantly gonna be a new thing for everyone to try and go to the roof now] Janis: [have fun getting caught losers lool] Jimmy: [not soz you'll never be JJ and living in a rom com] Janis: 😈 Jimmy: 😇🏹💕 Janis: You got the little nappy outfit ready to go, yeah? Jimmy: #kinkunlocked I get it Janis: 'course Janis: what girl wouldn't be 😍 Jimmy: 💀👑 probably prefers wearing them, THANK GOD she's not my target audience Janis: did she ever fake that she was 😍 over you? Jimmy: and have to put owt in the tip jar? Jimmy: SO funny, you Janis: cheek when she's allegedly the most minted Janis: making Asia make it rain 💦💸 Janis: mad she really don't fancy anyone who's not 50% of her though Jimmy: that'll be how she stays 💰💰💰 Janis: keep it in the family? Janis: 👍 Janis: bit extreme but Jimmy: if it were her only reason Jimmy: but she's OBVS 😍😍🤤 an' all Janis: 🤮 Jimmy: she in your lesson? Janis: Yeah Janis: and #2 Jimmy: What do you wanna do that'll do their heads in? Janis: 💡❓ Janis: all they keep talking about is Asia and her new boyfriend Janis: how do we pull focus from how un-goals that is when we're always 💯 Jimmy: could just break them up Janis: I'm not fucking a 13-year-old and I don't think it's a good look for you either Jimmy: never said we had to do owt with him but get in his head Jimmy: not like it'd be hard to convince the lad she's being a massive slag Janis: true, true Janis: she's only gone with him 'cos she knows he ain't gonna dump her because older girl clout Janis: and she wants the 🎁🎁 Janis: well rude Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: the school therapist'll be after him when Asia's done if Lucas ain't Janis: honestly Janis: only the right thing to do Jimmy: [edits some of the many Mia cheating pics they have to look like it could be Asia but in a pisstakey way because we're literally in class so we can't do it properly but like in a is this worth doing way] Janis: 😂😂😂 Janis: that's nightmare fuel, for sure Janis: no wonder you ain't sleeping Jimmy: sleep paralysis demon, her Janis: terrifying, poor boy Janis: but she's got way too many pounds on 💀👑 for that to work Janis: 🤔 what if there was somewhere else he'd rather be Janis: no matter how 🔥 she reckons her 🍑 is Jimmy: not gonna get my sister with him now he's been anywhere near her Janis: Not exactly what I had in mind Janis: bit weird your head went there, tbh but still Janis: you wanna throw a party anyway, yeah Janis: why not do it then a fuck over any girl thinking she's getting a romantic date night? Jimmy: bit weird they're the same age @Asia with that one Jimmy: but DUH Janis: she's only 14, being fair Janis: sounding more and more like 💀👑 by the second Janis: obvs it goes against every dating rule she has so she's 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 Jimmy: feels dead wrong to split 'em up if that's what she wants Janis: at least it'd give them something else to chat about Janis: all this 💘 is making me sick already Jimmy: has to be a way to do that any road, it's fucking ages til we can have that party if we're doing it then Janis: yeah, I guess so Janis: well keep 💭 then Jimmy: I were 💭 what's another 🎁 that ain't another desk? Jimmy: any 🥇💡s? Janis: 'cos I just do this shit all the time Janis: I don't know Jimmy: Oi, don't be getting mardy with me, I only asked Janis: well don't bother asking questions I clearly don't have the answer to Jimmy: 👌 Janis: you already do all the drawings and far more shit than any lad they go out with Janis: like the whole point Janis: I don't know how we'd up that Jimmy: I said alright Janis: now who's being moody Jimmy: you Jimmy: that'll be why I'm leaving it out Janis: piss off then Jimmy: What's up with you? Janis: nothing, what's wrong with you? Jimmy: you're being a dickhead Janis: how am I? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: let's just drop it Janis: sure whatever lesson you're in is as equally thrilling as mine Jimmy: or just tell me what's wrong Jimmy: 'cause you were alright a bit ago Janis: I'm just Janis: it don't matter Janis: it's fine Jimmy: bollocks Janis: it can be Janis: 🤫 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: come on Janis: it's alright Janis: just everyone else getting on my nerves, as per Jimmy: alright Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: what? Janis: be my mate Jimmy: I am Janis: sorry, alright Jimmy: what were it you said, it don't matter Janis: yeah but Janis: change the subject or something Jimmy: put me on the spot a bit there, dickhead Janis: 😏 Janis: but you're such a natural conversationalist Jimmy: it ain't my fault I can't stop thinking about you long enough to put a sentence together Janis: that's very smooth considering Janis: keep saying things like that, who wouldn't be jealous Jimmy: just how I feel, must not have as many dickheads in this lesson as you Jimmy: ☀ Janis: I'm not not thinking about you Janis: I just don't know what to do about that Janis: maybe less so Jimmy: What do you wanna do about it? Janis: how many lessons you reckon we can realistically walk out of? Jimmy: the rest of 'em Janis: Why are we even staying? Jimmy: we're not Janis: That is the best idea you've ever had Jimmy: I dunno, I reckoned the roof were a decent shout Jimmy: but I get it, soz it took me fucking ages Janis: You didn't get how I felt about the roof? Jimmy: 🤏 Jimmy: might've had some idea Janis: I can show you again but you know Janis: little rude Jimmy: 😏 Janis: Crap with words but there's loads else I can do Jimmy: I were gonna say I heard what I needed to up there but Jimmy: there's loads else I want to Janis: Don't be #overit yet Jimmy: sounds fake, that Jimmy: you just want me to 🗨 how not over it I am Janis: so? Jimmy: I already did do Janis: then I must've really meant it Jimmy: you've got nowt to worry about Janis: good Jimmy: Where we going? Janis: We can go to mine if you don't wanna go to yours Janis: or do you wanna go DO something Jimmy: be #goals whatever happens Jimmy: what do you wanna do? Janis: I'm not thinking about #goals even though that's true Janis: I am thinking about how many times I could make you cum on that fucking bus ride Janis: come to mine, no one will be there, so there's loads of things we can do Jimmy: I just meant that bit don't matter but if I were thinking it did before I don't now Jimmy: and you've already sold me on the fucking bus ride so owt else is a bonus Janis: 😁 seems like a bit of a pisstake but Jimmy: it won't be Jimmy: except for the 👵🚍👀 Janis: They go to town at the crack of dawn Janis: shouldn't be loads Janis: but I can make you forget about that as well Jimmy: I don't care if there is loads Jimmy: I told you, I can't stop thinking about you Janis: It's distracting Janis: you are Janis: but fuck this place anyway Jimmy: *you are Janis: you started it Janis: and I'm not sorry Jimmy: I'm not sorry I started it Janis: Good Janis: it's Janis: working for me Jimmy: you'll forget about whatever's doing your head in in a bit Janis: already have Jimmy: come here then Janis: only if you ask again Jimmy: please Janis: 😍 Janis: okay Janis: [run babies run] Jimmy: [I know you only just went back from the hols but fuck school tbh] Janis: [we aren't that bothered ever but truly, you're both smart enough to pass just fine, we got life to be living and love to be falling into] Jimmy: [got a really long bus ride to be extra through soz not soz it's a whole vibe] Janis: [we're about it, and we can show you the actual decent stuff about the cali residence 'cos it's not the place we dislike it's the people rn soz guys] Jimmy: [we all know it's a cool af house even if there are a 10000000000000 cats] Janis: [lmao, at least they gonna be less fussy than Twix so you'll be alright lads] Jimmy: [have a lovely time but probably avoid your room gal since we're not drunk af like we were on christmas eve] Janis: [we know there's nothing there to show it's fine, y'all can chill wherever you want] Jimmy: [love it for you, honestly surprised you ever bother going to school rn tbh] Janis: [only 'cos we clearly can't hang around mcvickers 'cos they're both old enough to be retired even if they're only semi-retired, and you have to take Bobby to school so like, may as well not like you can get extra shifts when they know you're 15 and not out of school] Jimmy: [and it's an easy way to be #goals as they've already proved with the desk escapades] Janis: [mhmm, and an excuse to see each other you so don't need now but you know] Jimmy: [the tea] Janis: [do we wanna do anything when they are at the gaff etc?} Jimmy: [probably nothing too heavy but if you've got anything you want to happen we can] Janis: [lbr, we know we're being cute af and saucy] Jimmy: [I'm devastated that you can't stay forever as will you be, but at least you'll have a fair while even with the long af bus which is only gonna be fun on the way there unless you're leaving together too] Janis: [you should probably stay gal as the school will call to say you went missing and you'd be better to deal with that rather than have her think you've run away again lol] Janis: 👋 Jimmy: [Gonna be fun going home to Ian, I hope for your sake boy you've got work for a bit first for that reprieve even though it'll probably make him angrier cos you're gone longer] Jimmy: 🥺👋 Janis: [mhmm, like get over it Ian it's one day but ANYWAY] Janis: I wish I could've come Jimmy: and I wish I could've hung about a bit longer Janis: fucking real life, eh Jimmy: nowt'll be more 💔 than if the ☕ start cracking on making themselves and I have to look out for a new way to earn 💰 Jimmy: but I get that you wanna be my fantasy, girl so I won't call it a bit rude that you're 🗨 all that just then were fake Janis: Never happen Janis: they like the fake smile on your face when you give it 'em Janis: not fake Janis: just not 💩 like the rest Jimmy: I'll take all them assurances, tah for not getting too near a compliment Jimmy: thought it were gonna be a bit touch and go at the end there Janis: not to mention the carnage if it was self-service Janis: only afford the steam burns if they're paying you minimum wage Janis: 😘 Janis: shut up Jimmy: not just any dickhead can pull off that many scars Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: 😏 Janis: I get it, you want MORE compliments Janis: not like I just spent all day showing you how hot I think you are Jimmy: or more worthwhile wounds Jimmy: unless you're gonna kick off about there being no more time or space for them an' all Janis: Oi Janis: don't make me sound like that bitch Janis: cheek Janis: 🔪 you any time you like, you know that Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: can never have it in writing too many times Janis: you trying to get me done for not keeping my word? Jimmy: 👮🚔 Jimmy: don't bother going back on it and you'll be alright Janis: should've known Janis: you're all the same Jimmy: can't 🗨 you didn't know what you were getting into, Jennifer Jimmy: 🐷💕 Janis: my dads rolling in his grave Jimmy: still 🤞 you and your fake tan'll put mine in his Janis: I'll put on my nan's accent Janis: turn it up a notch Jimmy: 😂 Janis: or just intro them Janis: he'd feel so #attacked Jimmy: only if you can promise me she'll chuck a bible at him Janis: 🤞 Janis: can't promise much about her but it's 99% Jimmy: it's a date then 🍷🍞 Janis: 😂 Janis: enjoy Jimmy: be PROPER awks if we've misread this and she ends up my new mum Janis: She's still got delusions about being the pastor's wife Janis: she's too nosy to settle down and have her own life anyway, you're fine Jimmy: poor bloke Janis: your dad or father daddy? Jimmy: not chucking any sympathy Ian's way Jimmy: he's always got the full orchestra playing for himself, there's no need Janis: got ya Janis: I'll make it up to him whenever I get 'round the repenting Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: bit of time with me on my knees'll sort him right out Janis: fuck off Janis: we're not sharing Jimmy: Why not? Janis: 'cos I want him Janis: get your own boyfriend, bitch Jimmy: thank GOD Pete'll be in Janis: 😒 Janis: shot myself in the foot there Jimmy: made your 🛏 have to lie in it with the hot priest, you Janis: 😣 😖 😫 Janis: don't be mean Janis: it was an involuntary reaction Janis: being a twin means you don't want to share anything Jimmy: you're alright, I'm more forgiving than him and his mate in the ☁s Jimmy: might let you be my mate again eventually Janis: aaaaand share your boyfriend, yeah? Janis: thanks 💖 Jimmy: be up to him, that Jimmy: but agreeing to having a go at being his lead 🎤's bound to make up his mind Jimmy: the lad he got last time you said no is shite Janis: Oh God Janis: do they play the CG? Janis: 😬 Jimmy: that gonna make you rush in or steer clear? Janis: I'm not sure I can fake the enthusiasm Janis: and yes, that IS saying something, thank you Janis: tell him to 📞 me if they ever start getting paid Jimmy: @ him yourself Jimmy: loads of jobs but none of 'em are as your messenger boy Jimmy: ain't chucked 🗞️🗞️🗞️ about for ages Janis: you're such a slag Janis: called playing it cool Janis: look it up 🤓 Jimmy: look up frigid Jimmy: 🥶🥶🧊 Janis: piss off Jimmy: didn't reckon on that rumour being the one that were true but here we are Janis: don't be a twat Janis: you literally know it isn't Jimmy: still feel free to remind me whenever you like Janis: yeah, really convincing that Jimmy: What, you need MORE convincing than earlier on? Janis: oh, now you're calling me a slag Janis: make up your mind and shut up, yeah? Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: you planning to leave me with my 💭 this whole 🚍 ride? Janis: I should Janis: but it is longer than the journey to hell so Jimmy: you have left me loads to think about, give you that Jimmy: 🏆🥇 Janis: it's mutual Janis: is an understatement Jimmy: yeah, I felt that Janis: bit rude Janis: every time I think seeing you is gonna get you out of my head Janis: never does though Jimmy: bit rude that you want me out when you've said you've not got owt else on Janis: yeah but I can't be around you all the time so it's just inconvenient Jimmy: I'm not stopping you and my 👻 manager'd have a job to Jimmy: and we've already proved school can't Janis: If you're still there when I've dealt with my ma Janis: could Jimmy: if not you know where else I'll be Janis: yeah Janis: I do have work to do and all though Jimmy: OBVS Jimmy: 🐕's can't 🏃 themselves without the owners getting right mardy Janis: Thank God Janis: can't be arsed to sing for my supper yet Jimmy: after though Jimmy: you can do us a lullaby Janis: you just want me to sleep over Jimmy: Oi, don't make me sound like them huns Janis: 💅💄🍿☕️🧸💖 Janis: you Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: will you hang about if I let you chuck 🧸s about and smack me with a pillow or what? Janis: your nightmare not mine Janis: but as you asked nicely Jimmy: 👍 Janis: What song do you want? Janis: 🎶😴 Jimmy: what song do you wanna do? Janis: [list off some hilariously inappropriate lullabies] Jimmy: number 6 Janis: 😏 Janis: thank god the little ones deaf Janis: hate to be a bad influence Jimmy: 🖍👂 were bad enough Janis: mini 💘story is worse Jimmy: but that's nowt to do with us Janis: 'course not Janis: so pure and real Jimmy: be worse if they hated each other like him and Amsterdam, never be able to chuck him anywhere Janis: yeah Janis: and she's annoying whatever she's 🗨 about so makes no odds to me Jimmy: we better start being the NICEST ever to your nan so he can sleep there and not piss on our party plans Janis: that'll involve you not being as nice as you wanna, perv Janis: tone it down Jimmy: tone down your jealousy, Jules, I'll come to your window an' all Janis: She don't fancy you, sorry to break it to you Jimmy: she's not gonna admit it to you, dickhead Janis: She's not gonna be able to fake that with a remotely straight face, more like Jimmy: must be where you get it from Janis: better than you Jimmy: bollocks Janis: nah Jimmy: yeah Janis: no Jimmy: based on what? Janis: erm, all my performances vs yours, OBVS Jimmy: mine's been as good as yours Janis: hmm Janis: 😂 Jimmy: you're just being a twat 'cause your fit nan 💕s me Janis: and you're just mad 'cos Will wouldn't even cast you as a background character Jimmy: he has done so that's even more bollocks you're chatting now Jimmy: should be chuffed she's not going blind, babe Janis: bit awkward to boot you now Janis: massive head, takes a lot to shift Jimmy: far as excuses go, a TOP athlete like you should have better Jimmy: 🥉 if that Janis: let me start auditions first, arsehole Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: stop it Janis: you're the one being a twat, twat Jimmy: how am I? Janis: Where do I start? Janis: I'd rather just not, as I just said Jimmy: at buying some time before you have a proper go 'cause you know I've done nowt wrong, by the sounds of it Jimmy: but alright Janis: I didn't say you'd done anything wrong Janis: just that you were being annoying on purpose Jimmy: Why would I bother with that? Janis: You tell me Jimmy: the answer is I obvs wouldn't Janis: OBVS Janis: 👍 Jimmy: you stop it Janis: I'm not doing anything Janis: so yeah, alright Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: I'd be in the group chat if I were trying to 🗨 in 👍👌🙄 Janis: not my job to entertain you is it Jimmy: I never said it were Jimmy: if you were on the clock it wouldn't be like pulling 🦷🦷 trying to have a word Janis: oh, whatever Janis: I don't like talking, that's not news and it's none of your business Jimmy: and you've heard I like talking to you when you're not being a MASSIVE dickhead Jimmy: give me a clue when that'll be Janis: I've got other shit on Jimmy: and I've not? Janis: I never said you didn't Janis: that was you Jimmy: I'm just not using it as a bollocks excuse to be a twat Janis: I'm not excusing anything, I'm saying you don't know what I do or don't have on, at any point Jimmy: 'cause it's none of my business, you just said Janis: basically, yeah Jimmy: whatever, as you said an' all Jimmy: in a bit Janis: later then Jimmy: yeah Janis: [you're gonna have to leave this some time and I'm gonna have to fix it, well done gal, not leaving it too long though 'cos not that deep so just deal with it, you could still be on the bus tbh lmao] Jimmy: [seeds are being sown and honestly yeah it is a really long bus ride I hope you left yourself enough time boy or you'll be late for work] Janis: sorry, okay Janis: just ignore me, I'm just stressed Janis: you've not done anything Jimmy: I got that Jimmy: how stressed you are Janis: yeah, I know Janis: you don't need that ever Janis: let alone before work Jimmy: @iantaylor8 before I get back, might stop him getting a mard on an' all Janis: He's gonna be raging? Jimmy: when's he not? Jimmy: he'll be chuffed to bits I gave him something to have a go about Jimmy: you talk to your mum yet? Janis: Any excuse Janis: not like we had anything important on today Janis: or ever, really but you know Janis: she won't be back for a bit Janis: just avoiding my sisters in the meantime Jimmy: how many 🐕s you done? Janis: got six here that all walk together alright, get that in before she's back Jimmy: 💰 on my sister not having done ours, you can use that as a reason to piss off when you need Janis: If she ain't seething, might drop me off Janis: save the dog's bladder bursting whilst the bus goes round every fucking street on the way Jimmy: didn't go back at lunch, might already be 💀💀💀 Janis: shit Janis: what time is your dad back? Jimmy: probably will be,  have to check the 👞👟🥾 Jimmy: house'll be trashed if nowt else Jimmy: meant to be 🕠 but it never is Janis: I can leave a note at mine Janis: be there well before he is Janis: only took a day off, say I got that period or whatever Jimmy: not your problem, no need to cause any with your mum for the 🐕's sake Janis: it's not a problem Janis: just replying that I hadn't run away earlier when the school messaged her was more than enough Jimmy: alright Janis: won't charge extra for mopping up piss Janis: didn't think, when I said we should go to mine Jimmy: you don't have to Jimmy: mop up piss or 💭🐕💔 Janis: you can't, you're already doing a job so Jimmy: he can get the mop out, it were his 🥇💡 to get a dog Janis: may as well though Jimmy: IOU then Janis: nah Janis: 'cos IOU Jimmy: Oi, don't be turning me down Jimmy: any time you fancy having a piss on my floor, I'll sort it Janis: 😂 Janis: thanks Janis: big #kinkunlocked obviously Jimmy: I know, that'll be why I'm allowing it Janis: Well considerate of you Jimmy: sound more shocked, Joanne Janis: I ain't Jimmy: good Janis: you know I didn't mean it Jimmy: What bit? Janis: not wanting to talk to you Jimmy: I got that when you started talking to me again Janis: yeah, alright Janis: just saying Jimmy: what's gonna make you 😁? Janis: Is that what you want? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Jimmy: not like I've spent ages today trying to do it or owt Janis: I can not be a moody bitch without being 😁 though, honest Jimmy: and I can make you 😁 Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: you have Janis: loads Jimmy: it don't matter if your face ain't stuck like it Jimmy: I'll have another go Janis: what about you? Jimmy: What about me? Janis: What emoji do you want me to make you? Jimmy: your fav obvs Jimmy: 🤗 Janis: 😏 Janis: I'll do my best Jimmy: I get it, you know Jimmy: what you said before about the rest being 💩 Janis: it just really shows how shit everything else and everyone is Janis: how boring and just Janis: bit of a headfuck Jimmy: yeah and I get it an' all that you have shit you have to do but Jimmy: I meant what I said about you not having to go nowhere Jimmy: my 🏠'll be trashed and the 🐕's a dickhead but you can still hang around whenever you want Janis: I don't though Janis: not in comparison to you, that's just the truth Janis: it just makes me sound pathetic when you put it like that Janis: but thanks Jimmy: shut up, you've got a job same as me Janis: you know what I mean Jimmy: I know I ain't gonna hold it over your head that your mum ain't chucking 👶s at you to look after or being a massive bellend all the time Jimmy: what kind of weird 🎻💔😭 bollocks 🏆s is that? Janis: well I knew you'd hate it that's why I didn't say it earlier Janis: I'm just not trying to take the piss with stupid non-problems Jimmy: everyone's got shit, not just me Janis: yeah Janis: and I've got plenty Janis: being stressed about skiving school ain't one of 'em though, it weren't that Jimmy: I never thought it were Janis: I've got a handle on it now though Jimmy: alright Jimmy: made that 😁 challenge even more piss easy for me then Janis: You mad about that or Janis: I can make it harder again easy Jimmy: go on, I ain't 🙀🙀 Jimmy: 💪🏆🥇 me Janis: 😶 there you go Janis: complete blank slate Jimmy: Tah Janis: Yeah well, all the pressure Jimmy: that meant to be a ✔ or ❌? Janis: it means I'm doing what you asked and giving you an actual challenge Jimmy: that consideration's catching Janis: great Janis: need a cream for that, do I Jimmy: might do if it starts irritating you, like Jimmy: 🤞 it don't react with your fake tan Janis: is red more or less offensive than beige? 🤔 Jimmy: less Jimmy: colour of 🩸🌹💘 Bill's fav, that Janis: we already know he 💘s me Janis: about making your dad 😡🤬 not me Jimmy: already did do Jimmy: nowt challenging about making Ian fuming Janis: yeah but that's what you want me to do and keep doing Jimmy: it's not why I want you to stay Janis: it'd be a bit rude if that was all you wanted me for Jimmy: I just mean he's not the reason I do owt Jimmy: doing his head in gives my sister something to do with her 😡🤬 but he don't matter to me Janis: yeah, it isn't about him Janis: but getting him fuming enough you can all go home is, I mean Jimmy: which ain't even been working Jimmy: as plans go it were never 🥇 Janis: what letter plan was it? Jimmy: you know I can't count, mate Jimmy: dunno my letters either Janis: we don't have to talk about it though Janis: not right now Jimmy: We're here so whatever goes I had at getting him to not take the job or owt I did to try and stop us from leaving didn't work Jimmy: what's to talk about? Janis: you're giving up? Jimmy: never said that Janis: alright Janis: I get it Jimmy: do you? Janis: you either haven't thought out your next step, or I can't help you with it and it isn't my business Janis: either way, don't wanna or have to talk about it now Jimmy: 👌 Janis: not a total idiot, cheers Jimmy: never said that either Jimmy: feeling like one 'cause you had a massive strop is nowt to do with me Janis: fuck off Janis: 1. I didn't 2. Weren't talking about that no more Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: what are you rolling your eyes at me for Jimmy: what you mean you don't get that? Jimmy: don't sound like you Janis: wow Janis: nice Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: whatever Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I'm not staying, pay me whatever you would your sister for the dog Jimmy: I don't pay her Jimmy: @ my dad for his rates Janis: obviously not Jimmy: don't come then, even easier, that Janis: It's nothing to do with you Janis: the dog needs walking Jimmy: not by you Janis: why not Jimmy: why are you SO bothered? Janis: because it's needless and cruel Janis: it isn't hard Janis: and it's literally what I do so just shut up Jimmy: it ain't hard for my sister to do it Janis: is she going to or are you fobbing me off Jimmy: not a 🧠📖 Janis: for fuck's sake Janis: I don't need your permission, I'm going round anyway Jimmy: you don't get nowt so don't act like you do Janis: fine, take your 🎻💔😭🏆 and shove it Jimmy: ✔ Janis: so glad you're happy Jimmy: so glad you ain't lost your sense of humour Janis: the gags that I never had one, so where's yours Jimmy: Dunno, maybe you'll find it when you're pissing about at mine Jimmy: places the spare 🔑 has to get left are getting weirder and weirder Janis: I'm just knocking Janis: you might be arsed but doubt your sisters stopping me doing a job for her Jimmy: be about right Janis: be weird id she cared Janis: if* Jimmy: no weirder than you reckoning she'll bother to answer the door Janis: You're being ridiculous Jimmy: that's you Janis: no, it ain't Jimmy: yeah it is, this 🐕💔 being the hill you wanna 💀💀💀 on Janis: I told you why Janis: not rocket science Jimmy: and I told you why not to, neither's that Janis: I didn't say it was your fault but it's not fair on the dog and you know that Janis: I'm not gonna pretend I don't 'cos you're pissed off with me Jimmy: 📞 the rspca then, be doing me a bigger favour than this bollocks is Janis: if you wanted to, you would've done it yourself Janis: the kid 💕 it and that's why Jimmy: funny way of showing it she's got Jimmy: can't even do something she gets 💰 chucked at her for Janis: yeah and that hardly takes a genius to work out either Jimmy: no need for you to get your head round what's up with her an' all Janis: stop acting like I'm fucking therapizing you Jimmy: stop doing it Janis: fuck this Jimmy: yeah Janis: [you better walk away gal but we're clearly going to attempt to walk Twix still] Jimmy: [at least he's not there so you won't brawl] Janis: [oh the drama mick] Jimmy: [oh boy, it's not her fault you don't wanna leave dublin anymore, well it is but don't be rude] Janis: [quite literally your fault but that's a convo we're not ready to have yet clearly lol] Jimmy: [a convo we've literally had twice drunk lol lol] Janis: [oh lads, we're literally in such a tiz, thank god you didn't stay home tbh] Jimmy: [don't need to have a blazing row with your poor mother] Janis: [make this Thing an actual Thing™ though that is lowkey the deal in the fam being suspish of you boy but still] Jimmy: [literally don't know how I'm gonna fix this because he thinks he's in the right here, sir your pants] Janis: [like he's not not but we didn't really get what he was saying 'cos neither of you was saying enough/the right things lol] Jimmy: [she's not a mind reader either jimothy] Janis: [fair, we're probably going to go out and get drunk somewhere so I could always come @ you] Jimmy: [good idea because that's not a luxury he has until work is over at least and even then not really because Ian will be throwing his toys out of the pram] Janis: [yeah, like he's really not gonna be in the mood is he but we'll do it anyway, good luck lmao] Jimmy: [how much later are we saying it is like is he at work or has it been ages?] Janis: [well it's fully a monday so like what kind of party would be happening, so it's probably on the earlier side like we're just 'hanging' somewhere and drinking, but by the time we come for you you can probably be leaving work/home like] Jimmy: [makes sense] Janis: are you okay? Janis: what did he do? Janis: can't stop thinking about it Jimmy: I'm not back yet, nowt to worry about Janis: oh Janis: it's not that late Janis: still so dark 🌨⛄ Jimmy: you alright? Janis: yeah Janis: but no too Jimmy: ? Janis: I don't like it when we don't talk Janis: but I'm not dying in a ditch, that's what I mean Jimmy: but where are you? Janis: at the park with some people Janis: not the park, a park though Jimmy: what park? Jimmy: it's freezing Janis: I don't know, the one on [some estate he's not going to know gal but anyway, a let's get drunk in parks energy] Janis: it's not that cold, had my coat on anyway Jimmy: SO helpful, you Jimmy: it's not that cold now you're pissed, my dear Janis: That is half the point Janis: idk what you expect me to tell you, it's not like the park has a name, just a bit of grass and some swings Jimmy: I've got a map up 🤞 I get there before you 🥶🥶🥶 Janis: you're coming to see me? Janis: but you're angry at me Jimmy: I'm bringing you ☕ to warm and sober you up a bit, then I'm taking you to your nans Janis: I don't want to Jimmy: you wanna go home? Janis: god no Jimmy: you can't stay there Janis: not all night Janis: but it isn't even late Jimmy: not the point, dickhead Jimmy: I've got enough to worry about without adding you to the list Janis: don't worry about me Janis: I'm just trying to have fun Janis: I'm worried about you Jimmy: bit late for that Janis: 😠 Jimmy: don't you start, girl, I've hung up my apron now Jimmy: already on my way Janis: you can't try to seduce me to change the subject Janis: not that drunk Jimmy: weren't the plan Janis: why you talking like that then Jimmy: what? Janis: like Mias there and you want her to fancy you too Jimmy: I dunno what you're on about Janis: daddy 👏 energy 👏 Janis: anyway, literally said you wouldn't distract from the point so sh Jimmy: you Janis: but Jimmy: 🤫 Janis: sorry for caring Jimmy: it weren't what you signed up for Janis: not what you signed me up for, you mean Jimmy: go on, make it sound more like I forced you into something Janis: that's like Janis: the opposite of what I'm saying Jimmy: alright Janis: you keep turning things 'round and it's not what I mean Jimmy: just say what you mean Janis: I am Janis: I'm trying Janis: I just don't want you to get really hurt again but I can't do anything about it Jimmy: there's nowt I can do about it either Jimmy: how do you think I feel? Janis: I can't imagine Jimmy: don't Jimmy: 💭❌ Janis: I were never saying I knew what that was like Janis: I wouldn't Jimmy: not something I want us to have in common Janis: 'course not Jimmy: there you go then, can't have a go at you for not having a clue Janis: you can Janis: or you could just tell me what you do want me to do Janis: or say Janis: or not say or do Jimmy: that'd be taking the daddy energy a bit far, babe Janis: alright, not any other time, tah Janis: just let me fix this Janis: and not fuck it up again Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: there's nowt either of us can do Janis: okay Janis: I know that Janis: but how do I not annoy you about it Janis: because I don't think I can just fake that I don't know Jimmy: I don't have an answer I can just chuck at you Janis: okay then Jimmy: if I did I'd have loads of mates and a real girlfriend, duh Jimmy: that charming and social, me Janis: I'm glad you don't have a girlfriend though Jimmy: me and Bill's 👻 an' all Janis: I've got no friends either Jimmy: Oi, what am I? Janis: I don't know Janis: what are you Jimmy: 💔 RUDE Jimmy: I'm your best mate Janis: my best mate Janis: who I think about every time I cum, alright Jimmy: why isn't it? Janis: just confusing Janis: it can be both Janis: probably Jimmy: don't have to be if we just 🗨 Jimmy: it's been alright up til now Janis: very rude if that's your review Jimmy: shut up, you know what I mean Janis: do you want me to 🗨 or 🤫 Janis: just confused now 😏 Jimmy: I've missed you but if you wanna change my mind about it Janis: no, no Janis: I can behave Jimmy: making promises you can't keep Janis: cheek Jimmy: we'll see when I get there Janis: I missed you too Janis: I don't know what's wrong with me Jimmy: other than being a massive pisshead, you mean Janis: psh Janis: what else am I meant to do Jimmy: you want a list or what? Janis: yes, go on Jimmy: 1. 🗨 to me 2. come 👋 to me and my 👻 manager 3. workshop a 💀💀💀 scene with Bill 4. 🐕🏃 5. @ Lucas or 💀👑's dad for a lift Jimmy: just off the top of my head Janis: 1. we weren't 🗨 2. so I couldn't 👋 even if your manager actually existed 3. he's your mate 4. you definitely didn't want me to do that earlier either 5. just admit you want me 💀💀💀 now like Jimmy: 1. gotta start somewhere, Jessica 2. he were actually about, believe it or not! 3. he is with THAT attitude 4. I definitely don't want you spending all my 💰 either 5. I ALWAYS want to 💀💀💀 you, I've admitted that before Janis: 1. what's this? 2. so sad I missed him/my chance to seduce him for a job then 3. #ladsladslads with him forever 4. only said that 'cos you made me mad and I said for like a five not ALL your 💰 not that stereotype 5. then why are you letting either of them do it instead? Jimmy: 1. but before or instead of getting off your head were the point 2. 💔 for you and him both 3. speaking of, how many lads off that estate am I gonna have to smack before we can leave? 4. you still fuming at me or what? 5. never said I'd let it happen, just that it could do Janis: I'm not still mad at you Janis: it was a solid 60% my fault anyway Janis: I don't even know what we were talking about or then why we weren't, really Jimmy: then how do you know owt were your fault? Janis: 'cos you've explained since Jimmy: I were being a dickhead, it's not you Janis: no, it's alright Janis: you weren't Jimmy: I were and it's not alright Jimmy: you're the only bit that's not shit and taking the rest out on you ain't gonna change them, it'll only fuck this up an' all Janis: I'm not looking to make any of it harder Janis: that's not what a mate should do Jimmy: and I made it loads easier for you a bit ago when I already knew you weren't 😁 Janis: that's really nothing though Janis: stupid high school level shit Jimmy: meant to be cheering you up, that's what I said I'd do Jimmy: not nowt that I did the opposite Janis: okay, but I wasn't helping you none neither Janis: so we can be even Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🤝 Janis: am I going to need to come find you? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: um, a really valid one from experience Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: I'm not the one who's pissed, tah very much Janis: you exaggerate Jimmy: you take the piss Jimmy: I'm not lost Janis: okay, okay Janis: it'd be rude not to check Janis: you could die Janis: or 🥶🥶🥶 Jimmy: too northern for that bollocks Jimmy: what kind of truce is this? Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: have a swing, I'll be there in a bit Janis: someone's hoyed 'em over Janis: so rude Jimmy: fuck's sake Jimmy: never did answer me on how many lads I'd have to 🥊 Janis: Not sure if it was one of them Janis: I'll ask for you Jimmy: 💰 on it being you when you were FUMING Jimmy: trying to blame these poor lads now Janis: 😱 Janis: I WOULD NEVER Janis: pain to get back down, even if your da is like, freakishly tall or something Jimmy: never admit it now I've caught you out, more like Jimmy: know what you're like Jimmy: trying to show off and make the most of your 🦒 perks Janis: yeah, all these lads are SO cool Jimmy: never said it were for them Jimmy: might've been waiting to impress me Janis: well are you impressed? Jimmy: haven't seen the state of nowt yet Janis: you're an idiot Jimmy: yeah 🤏 Janis: I like it Jimmy: then I'll live Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: ? Janis: Would it make it better or worse if I come back to yours Jimmy: better this time, worse the next Janis: What would you rather I do? Jimmy: you know the answer to that Janis: but are you sure Jimmy: are you? Janis: I'll be fine going to my nans, for me Janis: I don't know what's better for you Janis: yeah, I can delay it now, or let it be less tonight than it COULD be Janis: but neither of those feels good Janis: so I just wanna do what you want Jimmy: so stay Janis: okay Jimmy: okay Janis: we could get rid of him the old-fashioned way Jimmy: stop flirting with me Jimmy: I'll get lost Janis: seriously Janis: how hard can it be Jimmy: piss easy if you don't care about the bit where you get caught Jimmy: how you gonna walk my 🐕 from prison? Janis: well that's why we do it properly Janis: just need to do the groundwork Janis: keep slyly telling any nosy neighbours you're moving back soon because he's lost his job, so they don't @ him Janis: then backdate a resignation letter to send to his work Jimmy: then what? Jimmy: can't actually piss off back up north without the dickhead Janis: well, you could, ferry is well cheap Janis: what you'd do when you get there is another issue Jimmy: keep dreaming, baby Jimmy: it's never gonna happen Jimmy: you're stuck with me for a bit Janis: I don't want you to leave anyway Janis: not my dream Jimmy: what'd you bring it up for then? Janis: you could stay and we could kill him Jimmy: we'd be prime suspects Jimmy: and they'd take the 👶👶🐕 off me Janis: nah, 'cos if we sort work and your neighbours and move you in with me who's looking Janis: 💡 Janis: see Jimmy: your whole family'd be 👀🍿 Jimmy: and your 🐕 best mate'd be eaten by 🐈🐈🐈 Janis: hardly Janis: 2 of my sisters got married before they were 20 and one of 'em is dead Janis: can't say nothing Janis: don't fight how much sense it makes tah Jimmy: you're so Janis: fucked up? Jimmy: not what I were gonna say Janis: they are Janis: try and distance myself from it but Jimmy: if we were judging each other by our family I'd come off loads worse Jimmy: no tah Janis: no need to have the competition Jimmy: 'cause you're losing Janis: nah Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: 🏆 goes to me Janis: nope no no no nah Janis: you have no idea and you don't need it Jimmy: alright, stop going on about it and 🗨 something you want me to know Janis: 😳 Jimmy: go on Janis: bit on the spot, like you say Jimmy: but you're 💭 about something or you wouldn't be 😳 Janis: too bad you're not a 🧠📖 Jimmy: just have to read your body language instead Jimmy: [show up sir] Janis: ['scuse us random park people, biggest run and hug ever] Jimmy: [holding onto her for the longest time and we're not sorry] Janis: [lowkey like don't cry gal, so overwhelmed and drunk dangerous combo here] Jimmy: [gal we know all about trying not to cry Imma get you out of here asap] Janis: [not letting you say anything intelligible yet] Jimmy: [it's fine we're totally picking her up so we can leave] Janis: [soz not soz to the lads who clearly thought you were about to get off with them or something] Jimmy: [bye bye boys have fun] Janis: [hope you're near enough to his lads 'I'm really sorry'] Jimmy: ['it's alright' cos it is and snuggling her as we carry her like] Janis: [sighs 'it's not' but we mean everything else so we're snuggling him back even harder Jimmy: [kissing the top of her head like yeah it is] Janis: ['you're the loveliest, that's what I want you to know'] Jimmy: [clearly 😳 about this because not what we expected her to say but we're also doing a little genuine smile so] Janis: [just softly stroking his cheeks though you probably can't even see in this light/state we just know, about to blurt something about but just about catching ourselves 'tell me something then'] Jimmy: ['are you gonna remember it?' cos we gonna catch ourselves too before being too extra] Janis: ['yes!' indignantly like how dare you, nudging him like go on 'I'll tell you another if you do'] Jimmy: ['alright, one thing I want you to know is how much this means' keeping it deliberately vague as if we're just talking about the Ian situation because we clearly aren't lol 'to me that you-that you're-' still not finishing our sentences though soz about it] Janis: [squeezing him wherever you're holding onto him, but gently please let's not fall and die here although 'I love you' not leaving like a sec here 'like I care about you, you know' and how rushed that last bit is like and I oop] Jimmy: [we've straight up died so whatever we say back is too muffled to understand because we're hardcore hiding in the bae and also using our softest voice ever] Janis: [casual panic happening in silence here but we move, meant it and can't take it back so at least you're drunk enough that you can't really try to run away rn] Jimmy: [lifting our head when she moves because we think she's gonna try and run away and that's a hard no from us 'always gotta one up me, you' but we're still using our soft voice so you know it's not a pisstake 'not gonna win the awards against you but I care about you an' all'] Janis: [shrugs like yes, that's what it was, of course 'just that good'] Jimmy: ['I know' giving her 😍 as we say it because we mean it] Janis: [going in for a makeout moment] Jimmy: [allowing it because he also meant it when he said he missed her and the feels are too high not to even though she's drunk and he's obvs not] Janis: [it's fine, we know we're being extra with it because we are drunk so it's not like you've got it wrong boy] Jimmy: [we're being extra too cos we're in our emotions and I don't trust you to speak rn sir, always makes me laugh like how far have we even gotten away from this park] Janis: [seriously, like you already said it girl you better stop lmao, I hope far enough that we're not giving a free show, also you're nearly at his but probably not knowing y'all] Jimmy: [hope you're at least off this estate so we're not getting whistled and shouted at by chavs cos that'll really ruin the moment] Janis: [like get that you're both in this moment but there's only so much you can ignore really] Jimmy: [I'll make it rain or snow if I have to lads so that'll move along, don't test me] Janis: [least you're gonna have some urgency by how hard we're going rn 'cos no shame] Jimmy: [an incentive to get home is very much needed cos Ian will be a delight] Janis: [I'm like gal do not speak that could be disastrous] Jimmy: [going upstairs immediately for all the reasons] Janis: [can't come for Ian and his life, it'd be amusing but make everything worse so not rn, in that bed tah] Jimmy: [we'll give you other opportunities gal but this is not the one] Janis: [not when you're drunk, not gonna be witty, just like fuck you bitch] Jimmy: [it's gonna be ages before you get back anyway cos we know y'all will keep stopping, never any chill] Janis: [we all know it, there is no chill now or ever] Jimmy: [hence I am making you walk, not letting you anywhere near a bus or anything rn] Janis: [do we wanna skip to being at his or to the AM or quoiiiii] Jimmy: [good question, we can probably skip to later at his because you can't avoid Ian forever, even if we're kind and say he's not around when they first get there] Janis: [what's your vibe like is he gonna come in and make Jimmy come out to talk or ambush him like what's the tea sis] Jimmy: [I feel like Jimothy's gonna have to go make tea at some point because it's his love language so he'll probably get ambushed in the kitchen then] Janis: [ugh SIR] Jimmy: [is nothing sacred you bitch, but at least she'll be upstairs so she can't brawl him and Twix will run up cos she will be scared so that'll distract you gal] Janis: [like if we heard brawling ourselves we would come down but I'd like to hope you're keeping it to shouting rn, have some shame dickhead, just look after this baby dog] Jimmy: [I would hope he is just shouting because he's that dickhead that wants to appear like he's not one and like what's to stop Janis telling literally everyone including her social worker nan so] Janis: [right, even if you think she's trash, I don't think you're being that dumb with it ever] Jimmy: [shamelessly just gonna bring the bae tea and biscuits as if that didn't happen] Janis: [trying not to be like !!! but we're also not gonna pretend as hard, patting the bed like come here] Jimmy: [obvs we do and do a feelsy lean when we're there cos we both need it] Janis: ['really wants Lucas to like him' because we know there's fuck all we can actually say to be of use, but we're tucking him back in and cuddling him] Jimmy: [a little lol because 1. funny 2. not what we expected her to say 3. relief that she hasn't said something that'll make it awks and that Ian didn't kick off any harder/try and kick her out] Janis: [equally small smile 'cos we love to see it but we do not love the rest of this situation so we're not buzzing obviously] Jimmy: [draw it bigger with our fingertip because we've remembered our 😁 challenge] Janis: [write LOL on him like okay, whilst we're here let's sort that out] Jimmy: [do some !! on her like epic lols please] Janis: [go to tickle him like it can be arranged] Jimmy: [obvs tickling her back like excuse you it's meant to be you doing it] Janis: [we are loling but still trying to tickle him and get him too] Jimmy: [never far from a playfight which I love for you and also I imagine that Twix is probably still around so joining in] Janis: [don't bark gal or do because we don't care about you Ian but bit rude to Cass, just pinning him and being like 'my offer still stands' which like, explain yourself but we're not lol] Jimmy: [also don't spill that tea or crush those biscuits/ let Twix get either of them while you're living your best life, obvs giving her a look like ?] Janis: [my boo always so concerned about the tea situation, runs a finger along his throat and looks meaningfully at the door like you know who] Jimmy: [I am and I'm not soz boo, but jimothy meanwhile is gonna just give you a lovebite/go over an existing one on your throat gal like I'd rather just kill you thank you] Janis: [doing the opposite of complaining about it] Jimmy: [taking the encouragement and going harder as a result of it duh] Janis: [when you can't breathe casually, pulling him closer into us 'please'] Jimmy: [kick that dog out so she doesn't cockblock you soz Twix, casually looks like you're like nope and leaving] Janis: [Twix is probably 🥺 but we definitely are x2 🥺🥺] Jimmy: [don't worry we're running back immediately to kiss you INTENSELY] Janis: [getting in his lap, duh, and looking at him for ages 'lovely' like yes, I was correct] Jimmy: [putting his finger on her nose like he's pointing at her cos no you] Janis: [grabbing the finger and then we're holding both his hands 'how am I going to make you happy?'] Jimmy: ['you already have done' because true that we've already forgotten about Ian's bullshit lbr cos we're in love] Janis: ['I could do better' 'you deserve better'] Jimmy: ['you just wanna take the challenge off me' because we can't even deal with our emotions over her saying that] Janis: ['I just wanna-' and kissing him again like let me show you] Jimmy: [a very enthusiastic response in all the ways possible because same] Janis: [have your moment kiddos, cannot express how much she's calling him baby] Jimmy: [cannot overstate how into that he is and will forever be] Janis: [being a perfect combo of intense but soft rn] Jimmy: [Cass gonna wish she was deaf too, first Ian shouting and now this lol] Janis: [thank god for headphones gal soz still not gonna be our fan for a while lol] Jimmy: [she's really not cos already had to dump Bobby on her when we had work then had to find Janis and now all this is shamelessly going on, soz gal] Janis: [it's fine, we'd hate us too in your position and we will win you 'round in the end] Jimmy: [I'm sure Jimothy will also do something to make it up to you cos he's just that bitch even though he's fuming at you for not walking Twix ever] Janis: [lowkey don't deserve it but you lucky gal and not shading you too hard] Jimmy: [we all know you're strugging rn gal it's okay] Janis: [not helping your brother but this isn't meant to be your job any more than it's meant to be his] Jimmy: [and we'll let you get your bf and friends soon and then you can walk Twix together] Janis: [and you'll be happy, despite the fact you go back up north, that's your business hen] Jimmy: [what if he sends her a valentine and that's what starts this lil otp] Janis: [that would be very cute do it] Jimmy: [like idk if he goes to your school or if he's putting in through your door or if he even signs it but we know bitch] Janis: [we should be nice and say he goes to your school so you have company but it should be a ? 'cos that's cute, I've only ever got one of those and it was from nannie haha] Jimmy: [I've derailed us but yeah that felt like a nice thing to happen amidst all the drama] Janis: [hohaha you'd be so embarrassed gal, be nice Jimothy aka shamelessly tease her] Jimmy: [simply must] Janis: [but yes, we're probably good for tonight unless you really wanna 'round 2 Ian] Jimmy: [do you wanna do the am?] Janis: [sure ting honey, it's a tuesday, so you'll be having to get Bobby ready for school and Ian will be gone so that's good] Jimmy: [leaving the bae in bed while we do our big brother duties but we will be bringing you breakfast gal you know it] Janis: 👋😪 Janis: you want any help? Jimmy: did I teach you the signs for hurry the fuck up? Janis: 🤔 Janis: [clip of her doing the thing where you gesture towards yourself frantically like LETS GO] Janis: ? Jimmy: that'd do Janis: does he know I'm here? Jimmy: he'd have come to ask you loads of questions about his missus if he did Janis: 💔 ouch Jimmy: if you fancy jumping out at him, the 🐕'll give you a hand knocking him about and getting his attention Janis: I'm not that offended Janis: be a bit rude Janis: plus if your sister knows I'm here, she definitely wants to see me even less Jimmy: but I might want to Jimmy: bit rude of you not to think about that Janis: Please Janis: I think about you ALL the time Janis: and you've seen a lot of me lately Jimmy: 🥺🥺🥺 Jimmy: me and the 🐕 are having a 💔💪🏆 Janis: she's FUMING at me Janis: I went to the bathroom and she was giving me 🔪🔪👀 Jimmy: the 🐕 or my sister? Janis: 🐕 Janis: your fault Janis: haven't you noticed her 😤 😠 😡 🤬 Jimmy: Oi, nowt to do with me, I never said you went to the park without her Janis: you kicked her out Janis: I remember Janis: also she was scrapping at the door Jimmy: not my fault you never said that were a kink of yours Jimmy: should've if you wanted her kept in Janis: shut up Janis: I said she was mad, not me Jimmy: she'll get over it once I sort her breakfast out Jimmy: what do you want? Janis: for 🥞🧇🥓🍳 or in life in general Jimmy: obvs to eat, dickhead Jimmy: but if there's owt else I can do an' all, go on Janis: cheek that you don't wanna know all about my ambitions and dreams in the morning Janis: @ the gals with that relatable content Jimmy: I LITERALLY just said tell me so that's bollocks Janis: woe is me 😉 can't hear you over all my 😭 Jimmy: poor baby Janis: are you going to school today? Jimmy: are you? Janis: haven't got my uniform Jimmy: you can borrow my spare if that's the only thing putting you off Janis: school is always off-putting Janis: but didn't know if you were gonna go in to shut him up Jimmy: if it were that piss easy I might do Janis: yeah Janis: I'll come in, if you are Janis: I usually have mine in my bag but I left that at home when I went out last night, for some reason Jimmy: probably weren't planning on going, we still don't have to Janis: what do you want to do? Jimmy: if we don't go? Janis: well I meant are we going or not Janis: but go on Jimmy: whatever is the most #ultimategoals bollocks we can think of, duh Janis: do you reckon any of them have heard of bed peace Janis: 😴😴😴 Jimmy: will have once I'm done 📷🥇 Janis: you're gonna koala onto the side of me? Janis: you're basically scouse, yeah 😏 Jimmy: unless you fancy making another fort downstairs, been ages since the last one Janis: just say you want to babe Janis: I'll get started whilst you're taking him in Jimmy: only thinking of you 🦒 Janis: it's a bit of a squeeze Janis: stretched out rn though Jimmy: very subtle Jimmy: I won't hurry back Janis: 🥺🥺 Janis: fine Jimmy: make up your mind, girl Janis: you know what I want Janis: read my mind, boy Jimmy: I miss you an' all Janis: compared to the school run, I'm a delight, obvs Jimmy: but hang on, some of them yummy mummies really dress up so you've got a bit of competition Janis: you have fun with that then Jimmy: 🤞😁🤞 OBVS Janis: you're gross Janis: and I'm going back to bed Jimmy: actual 🤞 you don't 🤮 in my 🗑 Janis: I ain't even hungover Jimmy: 'cause I came and got you before you could get too off your head Janis: you act like you've never done it Jimmy: never said that Janis: What, then? Jimmy: nowt 🤐 Janis: why'd you come though Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: why can't I ask? Jimmy: what's it matter? it's done now Janis: alright Jimmy: there's 🗨 you can read before I did Janis: that would require reading my own 🗨 Janis: I'd rather leave it 🤐 Jimmy: alright Janis: 👍 Janis: I'll take the dog out Jimmy: what happened to going back to 😴? Janis: I'm not sleepy Jimmy: tah then Janis: no worries Jimmy: 👍 Janis: it doesn't need to be weird Jimmy: what? Janis: ➡️ ⬅️ ⬆️ ⬇️ ↗️ ↘️ ↙️ ↖️ Janis: this Jimmy: you're the one calling it weird to say it don't need to be Janis: I'm just saying I don't wanna start up the whole thing again, that's all Jimmy: that's alright by me Janis: okay Janis: ignore me Jimmy: I don't want to ignore you Janis: okay, don't, but I mean Janis: I'm not trying to be a dick Jimmy: I'll give you a 🏆 if you manage it Jimmy: 😏 Janis: fair but fuck off 😂 Janis: not going for 😇 fake gf Jimmy: what you going for? Janis: 😈 DUH Jimmy: you can have that 🏆 Janis: I'd fight you if you disagreed on that Jimmy: no need as it's fake Jimmy: I'll agree to owt as long as it's on brand Janis: that ain't fake Jimmy: last night it were Jimmy: SO nice you 😇🏆🥇 Janis: that was mate stuff Janis: not fake gf Jimmy: let's just be mates today then Jimmy: I'm 🥱😴 if you're not Janis: subtle way to say just be nice to me all day Janis: but alright Jimmy: I'll do it back, not that much of a dickhead Janis: doesn't sound terrible Jimmy: 🤝? Janis: 🤝 Janis: and I could sleep, so don't need to worry about me creepily watching you and/or stealing all your shit whilst you 🥱😴 Jimmy: I ain't Jimmy: you've had loads of chances to do both before now Janis: gain your trust first, not an amateur Jimmy: and what, you reckon you have? Janis: yep Janis: like you said, could've easily done both by now Jimmy: 👌 Janis: oi, are you saying I haven't? Jimmy: I said I weren't bothered about you thieving or 👀 at us 😴 Jimmy: don't mean I trust you, mate, just that I've got nowt worth nicking and don't reckon I'm 🎨 Janis: Psh, that's a blatant lie Jimmy: which bit? Janis: not reckoning you're 🎨 Janis: you and your massive head Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: if that weren't bollocks I'd be my own muse Janis: selfies aren't #art Janis: that's the truth, pretentious hipster Jimmy: take one and watch the fans disagree Janis: you do the same Janis: you know what you look like Jimmy: [obviously does because no fucks given ever] Jimmy: there you go then Janis: see Janis: you're Janis: your DMs will 💥 'cos I'm not in it Jimmy: have to take loads with you in Jimmy: good job you're not hungover Janis: I've not seen myself yet Janis: could be 👹 Jimmy: 📷 Jimmy: it's your go Janis: [a bed selfie where you clearly look good 'cos when do you not, bitches be mad] Janis: demanding, you Jimmy: if I were next to you there I would be Janis: 😳 Janis: rude to say that and not be Jimmy: I thought it'd be ruder not to 🗨 soz Jimmy: taking our 🤝 dead serious, me Janis: speechless is a bit far Jimmy: Dunno you might reckon the nicest thing I can do is shut up Janis: nah Janis: I've told you loads I don't mind it Janis: your 🗨 Jimmy: [a voice memo that's full of compliments about that selfie because of course] Janis: I already missed you Janis: you had to make me admit it, didn't you Jimmy: weren't why but I'm not fuming that you feel the same as me Janis: you shouldn't be allowed out of this bed Janis: s'what I reckon Jimmy: we can stay there long as you want Janis: ⛓😍 Jimmy: be like Lucas is about Jimmy: no need to go to english Janis: yeah, smart to mouth off to your captor Janis: think on Jimmy: #thickandnorthern Jimmy: you have been warned before Janis: damn, I thought you said thicc Janis: misled Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 for you Janis: yeah, pretty gutted Janis: you'll do for now Jimmy: til you @ some fatter northern dickhead Janis: have to change my tinder location Jimmy: not much of a #kink since you ain't even offered to make me owt for breakfast Janis: those are perks you've not even fake unlocked Jimmy: or answered what you want Janis: surprise me Janis: I'll get you something on the way back with the dog Jimmy: already outted yourself as not a real feeder, no need to follow through on it Janis: you don't like surprises...? Jimmy: you heard that I don't trust you Janis: it's breakfast Jimmy: it were you who asked the question Janis: alright Janis: your loss Jimmy: I do like surprises from you, the 🎄🎁 were good Janis: You ain't bad either Janis: no 🎅 shithead Jimmy: 💕 Janis: dunno how I'm gonna top it Jimmy: got ages before you have to Jimmy: not expecting THAT 🥇 of a breakfast, like Janis: wait and 👀 boy Janis: 💪🏆 Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: I get it, you want me to have to compete with whatever 🍳🍞☕️🥞🧇🥓 I'm knocking up for you Janis: How else will you learn, babe? Janis: or maybe I just wanna do something nice, dickhead Jimmy: what's 🐕🏃 if not that? Janis: nothing new Janis: feel like that's all I friggin do Jimmy: who 🗨 it had to be something new? Jimmy: not 🥱😴 of you Janis: **because I keep you on your toes Jimmy: you're still about, that's all I want Janis: tah Janis: proximity is your biggest selling point as well Jimmy: 👏 @iantaylor8 for pissing about in this shithole instead of the one he was born in Janis: I'll @ my grandparents whilst I'm at it Jimmy: I meant you being at my 🏠 still but alright Jimmy: if they wanna take a bit of credit for that, you did say you didn't wanna go there Janis: already rude you have to split it 50/50 with your dad so Janis: not technically their fault, even if they'd hardly be happy I got pissed on a school day Jimmy: bit rude you didn't save me any tbh Jimmy: but not a surprise so I can't be fuming about it Janis: weren't my alcohol Janis: you could've hoe'd for it like the rest of us Jimmy: read the room a bit and they weren't chuffed to see me 💔🎻 Janis: awh babes Janis: 😞😘 Jimmy: your fault that you were, could've toned it down 🤏 and let me have some mates Janis: excuse me, you weren't hanging about to chat neither Jimmy: convenient that, you chucking the blame back over here Janis: you could've chucked me back if you were actually arsed Jimmy: might've been a good shout but I had a look and none of 'em were as fit as you Janis: now THAT'S a compliment Jimmy: take it then Janis: How can I? Janis: so overwhelmed you fancy me more than a bunch of greasy 16 year olds in tracksuits Jimmy: you're in the right place to have a lie down, you'll be alright Janis: OBVIOUSLY I prefer to swoon directly into your arms but Janis: have to do Janis: long as you reckon I'm dead when you get back and top yourself Janis: 😩🤤 Jimmy: Bill wouldn't have owt else Jimmy: trying to get this ☕☠ as we 🗨 him Janis: he's so thoughtful Janis: 💕 Jimmy: [bring her whatever adorable breakfast you've made before she gets out of bed because we know what this gal is like] Janis: [shamelessly giving you a massive smooch like you're gonna be gone forever] Jimmy: [it will feel like forever and we all know it, also shamelessly doing a little photoshoot so his dms don't blow up and obvs no other reason like she's the cutest ever] Janis: [so domestic, so cute] Jimmy: [the effort to tear himself away I lol you'll be right back sir] Janis: [and we all know you're not going to school so like, you have all day kids, god bless] Jimmy: [too in love] Janis: [bet Mia will make one of the gals dob you in] Jimmy: [she blatantly will, that snitch] Janis: [like get over it henny, why have you got nothing better on] Jimmy: [your jealousy and bitterness is simply not bringing us down rn hun] Janis: [we're already in trouble and don't care so like, what do you think you're achieving] Jimmy: [you're just annoying Grace even more than you already do gal, sadly she has not yet yeeted and we will have to endure the notp of her and Harry] Jimmy: [jimothy meanwhile is living his best life sending the bae pisstakey pics of these mums on the school run] Janis: ugh, put your tongue away Jimmy: @ the 🐕 Jimmy: nowt but 😎🖍 here Janis: well that was SO 🤓 so Janis: speak for yourself, not him Janis: dragging down his playground cred Jimmy: alright 😒🌧 then Janis: you'll get all the single mums that ain't learnt their lesson after you then Janis: sensible ones trying to tempt away the nice male teacher or one of the active dads Jimmy: #ultimatekinkunlocked Jimmy: Asia's mum Janis: She would Janis: you should, at least make Asia fuming Jimmy: see if I can convince her to 🔒 our kid's BFF in a cupboard or some bollocks an' all Jimmy: send her off to wherever the fuck she's named after Janis: must look up to the 💀💀s more that one Jimmy: must take after Asia with her 🧠 AND 🦷🦷 Janis: Poor little fuckers Jimmy: should have the full orchestra hanging about on this school run Janis: right? Janis: it's well depressing Jimmy: 💔 you ain't trained the 🐕 to take him to school for us Janis: soz she still needs a babysitter herself, like Janis: she'll be out of the puppy stage soon-ish and less of a handful but Nana is still a bit of a 💭 Jimmy: convenient excuses them, Janet Janis: 😒 Jimmy: *😏 Janis: I thought you were trained better than this, tbh Jimmy: said as you're having breakfast in bed Janis: you're saying I should be telling you how grateful I am rn? Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: Hmm Jimmy: wind your 🦒 neck in Jimmy: I'm being nice Janis: Charming as ever 😂 Jimmy: [writes some v charming and extra post like there you go] Janis: it's gross yet impressive how fast you can turn it on Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: post about how fast you can turn it on would seem a bit cheap rn Janis: I'll be more 💕 too I GUESS Janis: [post it bitch] Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: now give me what the 1st draft were Janis: [something way more 🔥] Jimmy: you been holding out on me this whole time or what? Janis: can't distract you from your duties/milf hunting Jimmy: you've just proved you can Janis: alright, shouldn't Jimmy: why? Janis: because you're having SUCH a good time already Janis: what kind of mate? Jimmy: a TOP one, duh Janis: you haven't been that nice Janis: 💔 Jimmy: how have I not? Janis: aforementioned milfs Janis: 🥺 Jimmy: Baby Jimmy: I'm sending those pisstaking 📷 of them but I'm looking at the ones of you Janis: Jealousy isn't cute, I get it Jimmy: whatever you do is cute, every dickhead gets that Janis: you're not every dickhead Janis: and I'm not that bitch Jimmy: and the kind of dickhead I am is alright with who you are Janis: ew Janis: 🤫🤫🤫 Jimmy: Oi Janis: we don't do mushy Jimmy: calm yourself down, I'll chuck a pillow at you in a bit or some bollocks Janis: I'll start an argument if you like Jimmy: has been AGES since the last one Janis: 👍 Janis: so much fun Jimmy: for Bill, I'd be chuffed to leave it out with the #drama Janis: unlucky Jimmy: for you, not being able to compete with Ian when it comes to having a strop Jimmy: I'll live Janis: fuck off Jimmy: this you starting the 🥊? Janis: you'd know if it was Janis: so no Jimmy: 👍 Janis: let's not Janis: I can't be arsed to go into school Jimmy: you know I don't wanna fight with you Janis: then we're not Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: I'm capable Jimmy: never said you weren't Janis: you don't need to when you keep calling me stroppy like I'm Libi's fucking age Jimmy: I'm only pissing about Jimmy: call me what you like Janis: not feeling the 🤤 now soz Jimmy: 💔 Janis: isn't it just Janis: me and the 🐕 are out, if you rush, the bed will still be warm-ish Jimmy: 🏃 Jimmy: how much food she nick off you? Janis: erm she had to wait patiently until I was done Jimmy: alright, bighead Janis: can't help being dominant Jimmy: send tweet Jimmy: I'll get one of the 🎻 to play for you Janis: for you Janis: 🥈 Jimmy: piss off Janis: 😏 Janis: ask Lucas, under me is EXACTLY where you wanna be, dickhead Jimmy: I'll @ him while I'm waiting for you Janis: better than the milfs Janis: he can't come 'round and seduce you Janis: #doubleenglishfirstperiod Jimmy: have to use his words Janis: if that's a hint Jimmy: for him that he can't half arse this just 'cause he's got one of Bill's classics to teach Janis: good luck Janis: he's way more touchy feely, despite the job title Jimmy: tah babe 😘 Janis: what's your angle Janis: besides being 2nd choice to me Jimmy: don't need one Jimmy: it's just that REAL between us, obvs Janis: 👌 Janis: what a nice change Jimmy: gotta have something to do when you're pissing about with this 🐕 Janis: thought you were 🥱😴? Jimmy: thought you promised me breakfast Janis: You can't nap and leave me to it? Janis: got loads of fantasies to be cracking on with, nothing else Jimmy: too excited, me Jimmy: you proper talked up how 🥇 it were gonna be a bit ago Janis: ✊💦 help you finish Janis: what a morning you're having Jimmy: don't keep you about for nowt Janis: aside from the fact I allegedly wouldn't go home Jimmy: it weren't like I were gonna make you Jimmy: or wanted to Janis: cheers Janis: if I was gonna argue with anyone Janis: better be you Janis: sorry Jimmy: we called a truce, you weren't allowed Janis: right Janis: be a bit rude to Jimmy: and you've got nowt to be sorry for Janis: I remember what we actually did Janis: so I know Jimmy: no hangover, not even that much of a pisshead in the first place, yeah I heard Janis: okay Janis: I know I was a bit Janis: not the end of the world Jimmy: not having a go Janis: thank god Jimmy: meant what I said Janis: what part? Jimmy: all of them Janis: nice and specific Janis: but okay Jimmy: alright, specifically not being a massive dickhead to you Jimmy: today at least Janis: don't worry Janis: you're never that bad Janis: not 🥇 anyway Jimmy: that's bollocks but sounds like 🥊🗨 an' all so I'll leave it out Janis: you reckon you're Ian levels of 🤬? Janis: nah Jimmy: there'd be a massive scale between him and me Jimmy: don't mean I weren't a twat to you before Janis: well you are a dickhead, don't need to apologize for who you are, like Janis: you're my mate, yeah Jimmy: your best mate, keep having to tell you Janis: I've still got the necklace Jimmy: be a bit rude if you'd chucked it Janis: don't just wear it when you're about Jimmy: don't just use my lighter when you are Janis: Your habit is pretty extensive Jimmy: 🚬's dead addictive, you not heard? Janis: 😱 Janis: and you let me have some Janis: wow Jimmy: not your daddy Jimmy: and it's a bit late for your growth to get stunted, Judith Janis: you're trying to make yourself feel tall Janis: that makes sense, Tom Jimmy: if I were bothered I'd chuck on a pair of 👠 Janis: or take a saw to mine Jimmy: I'll try not to go as far as fucking up your ankle again Jimmy: right ball ache that were Janis: why are you lying kathy Jimmy: Dunno what you mean Jimmy: ain't a 🪓 under this pillow or owt Jimmy: just me and my ⛓ how you're used to Janis: I'll come back then Janis: if you're promising no surprises Jimmy: [a pic of him snuggled in bed like see there's no danger] Janis: you're cute Jimmy: you Janis: I've got the evidence right in front of me so Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: 👀📷 Janis: I'd take better ones but there's nothing very sexy about freezing my nips off Janis: you can, when I'm back Jimmy: warm you up a bit first Janis: you will Jimmy: can easily promise that Janis: It's not easy though Janis: you're just good Jimmy: never been a hard job, can't take all the credit for that Jimmy: 🤏 you an' all Jimmy: probably have to share the 🏆 at least Janis: alright Janis: we can drink from it Janis: toast to how easy it is Jimmy: long as Bill's 👻 don't try and take over like the proud dad he is Janis: ☠ later Jimmy: he'll have to wait til after I've 💀💀💀 you loads of other ways Janis: you first in that respect Janis: always Jimmy: them lads from that estate'll still be fuming about it Jimmy: swings'll be 🔥 Janis: was never gonna get drunk enough to do shit with them 🤷 Jimmy: not enough drinks in whatever shop they robbed for you to wanna bother, I get it Janis: obviously Janis: not the only girl to ever fuck them over like that, they'll survive Janis: least they can't accuse me of being frigid without sounding stupid now Jimmy: if anyone's still calling you that it'll be me that's fuming Jimmy: what more have I gotta do, like? Janis: 🍆📹 they wish Jimmy: come here then Janis: 😏 Jimmy: *🏃 Janis: I get it, you need both hands free Jimmy: dunno what's ruder, that you're not well trained enough to leg it to me when I click my fingers or that you reckon I don't already have a tripod set up Janis: right, you're a PROFESSIONAL pervert Janis: excuse me Jimmy: get it right Janis: get yourself to church Jimmy: hang on, I'll @ your shit nan, see if she can pick me up Janis: I'll stop 🏃 then Jimmy: or just 🏃 faster Janis: you think I want to fight my nan again Jimmy: didn't know it were a habit Janis: oh Janis: yeah, obvs Jimmy: alright, if it stops you trying to 🥊 with me Janis: bit selfish but Janis: 👌 Jimmy: never said I weren't Janis: I definitely am so not gonna say nothing Jimmy: already said I like you, not gonna risk 🗨 it again after how that went Janis: no accounting for taste Jimmy: 💔🎻 Jimmy: got time to dry my eyes before you get back Janis: just about Janis: but I know you, so don't worry too much Jimmy: Oi Janis: I like you too Jimmy: that's alright then Jimmy: no need to chuck you out Janis: you promised you'd warm me up first Jimmy: 'course I will Jimmy: not an utter bastard Janis: I know Janis: fuck knows why I like you Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: Bill's gonna do you a list, look less bigheaded coming from him Janis: 🤏 Janis: [come back now] Jimmy: [show her why she likes you with the most extra and enthusiastic welcome ever] Janis: [thank god everyone has gone so we can do what we like, even Twix be having her breakfast rn] Jimmy: [the actual freedom because that's never a thing for him] Janis: [true, when he's here the kids always are, live your best life honeys, not that you were being considerate last night but you know lol] Jimmy: [the feelings just keep getting higher, they can't be blamed or tamed, 100000000% gonna get in the shower together later and run up Ian's water bill too not soz] Janis: [hohaha you know he's the type to be fuming so we gotta] Jimmy: [he's gonna be so fuming when Janis leaves because you've skipped school again as well, not looking forward to that but for now, I'm buzzing for you both] Janis: [no, we're all worried about that, lowkey trying to never leave again but we know we have to soon, just like 🥺] Jimmy: [it's not gonna be nice, fuck you Ian, thank god things are going well for jj rn so if he kicks jimothy out in the cold or something post brawl at least we have the bae] Janis: [subtly moves self in so Ian can never kick off again, we know that that is eventually what's gonna happen but sadly not yet] Jimmy: [can't wait for that] Janis: [lowkey take over your house because what you gon do sir, look after your children? unlikely] Jimmy: [or out yourself as an actual utter bastard by kicking off, even more unlikely] Janis: [like you can be salty but if you even asked for rent or whatever to try and get her out she'd just pay it so soz] Jimmy: [so glad Janis has worked out what Ian is really like because it'd seem like he was making it up/ it wasn't as bad if she hadn't] Janis: [the injuries don't lie, and if he'd got them from scrapping or whatever he would've just said 'cos it's much less shameful so we know] Jimmy: [and soz but who would this soft boy be fighting you're not a massive slag giving him grief like his ex] Janis: [exactly, we already know he ain't that boy either so like, pretend all you like Ian, we see you] Jimmy: [not soz he's not actually Liam 2.0 and a mad lad] Janis: [you'll see eventually fam, anywhosers, do we wanna do any of their day or skip to when she's gotta think about leaving] Jimmy: [we can probably skip because we know the vibe when they're together] Janis: [when are you gonna think you've gotta leave hmm] Jimmy: [and am I making you go to work after school or not hmm] Janis: [that would make sense, if you go to work and you leave] Jimmy: [let's do that then why not] Jimmy: [probably go pick Bobby up from school first and maybe take him and Twix to the park or something for a bit because Cass gonna mad at you after last night so] Janis: [yeah, we can give you that time, he's primary so he probably gets out pretty early] Jimmy: you wanna come with me? Jimmy: do some ☕🎨 Janis: tempting offer, boy Janis: I DO need to perfect the 💕 for the BIG day Jimmy: for the fans who ain't 😎 enough for the smoke rings I taught you Janis: all of them? Jimmy: SHOOK that you've forgotten the dickheads who vape Jimmy: good to know you ain't getting me one of them for the BIG day Janis: I bet they have flavours that are well appropriate though Janis: all 🍓🍧🍨🧁🍭🍬🍫 Jimmy: gimme 👼🏽🩸 and 🥀 or I don't want it 💔 Janis: That's why you've invited me Janis: 🤞 I fuck up that bad Janis: who's first aid? Jimmy: Pete 😍🤤 Jimmy: had loads of 🩺 fantasies obvs Janis: UGH Janis: what can't he do Jimmy: NOWT Jimmy: 💪🏆🩹💕 Jimmy: need a 🤕 that looks chuffed to bits Janis: 🥴 with a bandage, deffo Janis: cannot wait for my third degree burns now Jimmy: they'll probably be about though Jimmy: 💀👑 and that Jimmy: so you'll have to fake that your 😍🤤 is @ me til they've pissed off Janis: oh, duh Janis: caffeine so needed after a long day of bitching about everyone Janis: I reckon I'll manage Jimmy: haven't had their IRL 👀 on us all day Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 Janis: You need the audience, yeah? Jimmy: they need the updates Jimmy: nowt to do with me Janis: hmm Janis: alright, hate to disappoint 'em, obvs Jimmy: make it worth your ⏲ with 🥪🍪🧁 if their 👀🔪🔪 don't Janis: just don't make yourself sick of me Jimmy: bit rude to be taking the piss out of my stamina Janis: you're rude Jimmy: how am I? Jimmy: been 🥇😇 all day Janis: exactly Jimmy: I just Jimmy: don't want you to 👋 yet Janis: Me either Janis: I'm coming Jimmy: okay Janis: I just feel a bit Janis: the hangover might've caught up with me Janis: easy on the 🍪🧁 Jimmy: I'll knock you up a smoothie Janis: so behind my 💪🏆 Jimmy: DUH Jimmy: you can sit in the back again an' all if you want Janis: that's okay Janis: gotta have all 👀s on us to make it count Jimmy: nowt makes 'em more fuming than what they can't 👀 all I'm 🗨 Jimmy: you don't need to worry about chucking them the 🍿 if you don't feel alright Janis: should teach them to lip read Janis: but don't Janis: I'm okay, honest Jimmy: [teaching her how to sign stuff for if she doesn't feel well that won't be obvious to the flatwhites cos lord knows some sign language really is] Janis: [doing some you've remembered from a previous sesh like look, I've learnt] Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 😏 I know, so impressive Janis: Libi makes me practice with her Jimmy: without me having to @ her an' all Jimmy: must be 💕 Janis: DUH Janis: don't be acting like you haven't had your 👂 signed off Jimmy: it's alright, he's deffo gonna outdo me with his 🎨 and 🎁s Jimmy: probably keep it going the whole 2 weeks, him Jimmy: CLEARLY mutual Janis: Your influence Jimmy: except I dunno what I'm gonna get you that won't make you start a scale for it from 🙄 to 🤮 Janis: you don't have to get ME fuck all Janis: you only have to 1 up the basic 🎁 every lad does Jimmy: you'll be stuck with it, might as well sort out something that's not a load of shite Janis: 👍 Janis: I'll hit Bobby up for tips Jimmy: too soon for a 💍? Jimmy: he'd say it ain't Janis: 😂 Janis: gonna have to keep an 👀 on him Jimmy: least he's only got 😍 for Libi and don't take after me in being a massive slag Jimmy: be proposing to his whole class Janis: be well pricey if he's not reusing Jimmy: have to break into one of them machines once the shop is out of the sweet ones Janis: hoeing was meant to bring in the 💰 not lose it Janis: 💔 Jimmy: not gonna say you should give him tips Jimmy: still don't wanna 🥊 tah Janis: Not gonna break no baby hearts, so you're safe for now Jimmy: now I know you're feeling 🤢 Janis: you're gonna have to later Jimmy: what for? Janis: 🥊 Janis: not me Jimmy: I thought you meant 💔👶 Jimmy: not in the job description but alright Janis: 'course not Janis: be a weird rule to have at any of 'em Janis: ☕ or 💕 Jimmy: piss easy though Janis: that's not up for debate Janis: taking the 🍭🍬 is well known Jimmy: *🍪🧁 Jimmy: off you and them Janis: so tough Jimmy: stop flirting with me Jimmy: I won't wanna go Janis: you promised you'd teach me how to do the thing Jimmy: UGH fine Janis: I'll make it worth your while Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: come on Janis: you know me Jimmy: and you know I'm only pissing about, Jules Jimmy: VERY impressive, you Jimmy: said it before Janis: I'll get you to say it again Janis: one way or another Jimmy: you can't just say that like it's nowt and we're just gonna go crack on with ☕🎨 Janis: why not? Jimmy: you know why not Janis: 🥺 Jimmy: you're so Janis: that's you Jimmy: you Janis: you did such a good job on your first job Janis: you deserve to have a good shift Jimmy: it weren't a job today Janis: true Jimmy: I'll call in sick if you want, my nursing kink ain't gone nowhere Janis: No, no Janis: we'll have a good time Jimmy: can't deny that Janis: you can but I'm gonna do my best Jimmy: you'd know I were faking if I tried to bother Janis: let's not Janis: even if they're there Janis: we can still work it Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🤝 Jimmy: it still won't feel like a job, however hard work 💀👑 and her mates are Janis: neither of us need it Janis: they'll see 😍 regardless 'cos they want to Jimmy: right Jimmy: we've done our 💕 posts Janis: and it's not like I'll be ignoring you Jimmy: or that I can ever ignore you Janis: they don't know the difference Jimmy: 🧠💀💀💀 Janis: and you do 💀💀 me Janis: really Jimmy: you're killing me now Janis: sorry Janis: IOU Jimmy: when you feel less hungover Janis: I don't feel hungover Janis: I just miss you and I'm gonna miss you Jimmy: no need to miss me now and if you do in a bit I'll do the balcony scene 🌹 Jimmy: gone further to come get you and I didn't get lost Janis: it was VERY impressive, baby Jimmy: do alright under pressure Jimmy: @ my manager Janis: I'll put it on the trip advisor review Jimmy: tah Janis: I'll keep it PG Janis: or at the very least be vague about which barista I'm fucking Jimmy: I get it, this were nowt but a plan to get Pete's girlfriend to piss off Janis: 🤫🤫 Janis: worked SO hard on this plan, you ain't fucking it up for me Jimmy: 🤐 for now but he'll get it out of me Janis: great, now I've got to have a threesome with you 🙄 Jimmy: need a different eye rolling emoji for that Jimmy: get a bit closer to your actual review Janis: don't you dare make me 😳 in front of him Jimmy: it ain't my fault you're 😳 whenever I'm about Janis: psh Janis: whichever way you look at it that's clearly bollocks Jimmy: you're 🗨 bollocks denying it, mate Janis: shut up Jimmy: make me Janis: you're on Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: sorted our kid out now, I can do you before we have to go Janis: 1. no you can't 2. don't add me to your to-do list Jimmy: 1. yeah I can 2. you're top of every list, don't be a dickhead Janis: I want you too much Jimmy: so come here Jimmy: there's loads I can do about that Janis: [do that] Jimmy: [I'm just like do we want these kids to ruin this for you or no cos clearly both around] Janis: [when we're gonna be so rude later we're like ahh have everything lol, you probably would get cocklblocked though being real] Jimmy: [hence I was conflicted because Ian is gonna be a huge cunt and hurt you boy but realism though] Janis: [you can have an enjoyable time at the CG before we make you say goodbye it's okay, like it's not but] Jimmy: [we're doing what we can lads, you're welcome] Jimmy: [we can totally skip to then now if you like] Janis: [skippity doo dah] Jimmy: [do we wanna do any of the CG stuff is the question or fully go to later] Janis: [we could just vibe out how the gals are 'cos we already said Mia and co are being extra like skipping school is so shocking, then skip to when they have to say goodbye 'cos it'll be emosh] Jimmy: [that's a fair shout I think because yeah we know that they'll be goals without trying so it's just how Mia's trying to be] Janis: ['cos soon she's gonna literally get him fired so clearly she's gonna be a cow] Jimmy: [making complaints like a Karen when he's literally done nothing wrong, we see you] Janis: [she should be like IS THAT GIRL TRAINED when he's letting Janis do some latte art, as if they're giving anyone the ones she's making, so then they have to stop] Jimmy: [that's so petty she would, like gal we weren't gonna serve it to you we're just having a nice time while there is a lull in customers step back] Janis: [seriously, excuse us tryna have fun, like we still will but clearly that's the vibe, any time they try to do something she's like UM] Jimmy: [yeah and any time he tries to go remotely near the bae's table she suddenly needs something as if he's the only barista here] Janis: Can she be our second victim? Janis: 🔪🔪 Jimmy: first Jimmy: no need to hang about Janis: I'll clearly poison her 'cos I dunno how to make a latte Janis: whoops Jimmy: could let you loose with the steam wand Janis: her face just looks like that Jimmy: exactly, can't be traced back to you Janis: I don't want Pete to give me his disappointed face when he has to give her a bandage and write it in the accident book though Janis: 😥 Jimmy: I'll say it were me, piss easy to get his forgiveness 😘 Janis: rude Jimmy: it's alright, I know how to get yours an' all Janis: you do not Jimmy: 😏 Janis: dickhead Janis: meant to be focused on the murder anyway, you've got well off topic Jimmy: Oi, well decent at 🤹 now, me Janis: you need to work on your 🏃 clearly Jimmy: get my 🐕 trained and then we'll 🗨 Janis: am I even qualified? Jimmy: Depends Jimmy: can you get 💀👑 to behave herself or what? Janis: could give it a go Janis: what's in it for me though Jimmy: other than getting to rub her noise in her 🤮 next time she pisses off to the 🚽 how dickheads do when their 🐕s piss, you mean? Jimmy: what else do you want? Janis: save on you cleaning it up, you mean Janis: but alright Janis: [go over to the gals table like they haven't been actively being bitchy like HEY BABES WHAT'S UP] Jimmy: [comes over too like is there anything else you need and just being subtly but not subtly touchy feely with the bae while you're there to annoy Mia like what are you gonna do bitch make a complaint cos I'm playing with her hair] Janis: [getting y'all a massive cake or muffin or whatever that you would never order yourselves like our treat!] Jimmy: [LOL I love that, Hollie will be buzzing] Janis: [finally some food, just force feeding you like what are you gonna do, say no and look weird? I think not] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: worth it for the 😨😰 Janis: just collateral the ones that eat occasionally are getting fed but I'll cope Jimmy: do you want owt or have they made you lose your appetite? Jimmy: tell me so I can fake that I 🧠📖 Janis: I'll take a smoothie Janis: bonus points that I can brag about how talented you are or whatever Jimmy: and she can have a go that I ignored a load of dickheads to get it done for you Jimmy: they must be 👻s an' all Janis: since when was 💕a crime, Mia Janis: must've been dumped Jimmy: when I'm 45 and undercover 👮🚔 but that's our secret so Janis: She'd be far too into you then Janis: no escape Jimmy: [IRL 🤫 cos he looks hot doing it and then it looks like they are being saucy with their convo lol] Janis: [🤭 energy back but not exactly that obviously] Jimmy: [😏😍 energy that is not fake because I 100% assume she's wearing his clothes rn cos not been home and looking cute af] Jimmy: [definitely giving as many LOOKs as we can while we make this smoothie] Janis: [she definitely is so that's adorable and we never need to fake this energy lbr] Jimmy: [you've never had to fake much of anything we know and that's why this works] Janis: [mhmm, faking an interest in y'alls convo however? very much so] Janis: please tell me you're due a 🚬 soon Jimmy: manager ain't about to stop me Jimmy: bit busy with his 👂🩸 from all her whinging probably Janis: definitely better not go out back as it's staff only Jimmy: What?! 😱 you DON'T work here? Jimmy: top ☕🎨 like that! Janis: I know right?! Janis: #hiremegreg Jimmy: [writes her a review as if she do work here] Janis: pretty generous Jimmy: [shows her some pics of his early latte art like look how shit I was] Janis: awh, baby's first ☕🎨 Janis: only got a few years before your brother comes for this gig too Jimmy: 🤞 they'll have heard of coffee in the north by then Jimmy: he'll be 💔😭😭 else Janis: 😏 Janis: you're not emmerdale northern, I remember, can't fool me Jimmy: UGH fine Jimmy: real 🤞 he's stopped copying me ages before that Janis: you'll lose your ✨ Jimmy: ⏲ Jimmy: [give her this smoothie with today's 🎨 on the napkin and a kiss on the cheek] Janis: [insta that in front of the gals, obvs, just showing you all how cute we are] Janis: 🤞 I don't forget and wipe my face with that Jimmy: 🤞 I've got my 📷 out when you do Janis: I won't Janis: 🐘 memory Jimmy: 💔 you'd look well shakespearian with a pen beard Jimmy: Bill's gonna roll in his ⚰ at the missed chance Janis: I don't need to think about him that excited, tbh Jimmy: 👻🎻 Janis: you're the slag, you deal with it Jimmy: alright Jimmy: leave you with whatever you wanna 💭 about instead Janis: but Jimmy: ? Janis: what happened to our break? Jimmy: nowt, ready when you are Janis: [run away because we are over this girly chat like let's go] Jimmy: [you lasted longer than I would gal hence Jimothy will light you a 🚬 cos deserved] Janis: [you can dramatically breathe out like PHEW] Jimmy: [do your own because we all know what you're thinking about but we can pretend it's either a pisstake of hers or in solidarity] Janis: [reaching out to squeeze the hand that isn't holding his cigarette] Jimmy: [writing an o and a k on the back of hers but not establishing whether we're saying we are or asking if she is] Janis: [kissing the back of his] Jimmy: [kissing her dramatically because he cannot handle the softness rn] Janis: [we can go with that too] Jimmy: [just have a moment lads that's deserved too] Janis: [going in 'cos our emotions] Jimmy: [likewise because it's not like you care about all the people going past or that can see you inside] Janis: [keep going to say 'we-' and 'you-' like many times but never actually finishing either sentence 'cos you know he can't] Jimmy: [and don't talk to me about how tightly he's holding onto her because never mind this break not being long enough, this whole shift isn't and the goodbye and how evil I'm gonna be is looming over us] Janis: [gonna need someone to come through and break yous up we all know it] Jimmy: [thank god there's lots of possibilities for that cos of where you are] Janis: [someone else just tryna have their break lol] Jimmy: [soz but not] Janis: [truly] Janis: I'll brb Jimmy: Where you going? Janis: just need to get some stuff Jimmy: 🔪🪓🔧🔨🧱🧨🛢 I get it Janis: exactly Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: they should fuck off now 🤞 Jimmy: *🤞😁🤞 Janis: I'll do that whole way down the street, like Jimmy: 📷 it for us Jimmy: nowt else would do to make me 😁😁😁 Janis: ugh Janis: now I have to Jimmy: if you want a 🏆 or IOU Janis: [obviously we are] Jimmy: [have a lil reaction vid back as if we're not literally meant to be working because we're a nerd and in love] Janis: there we go Janis: all worth it now Janis: even though I looked like tiktok tammy Jimmy: 🦍🌃 Jimmy: you could NEVER Janis: compliment or diss? Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: dunno Janis: 'cos if you're saying I can't dance like I'm having a seizure that's a lie Jimmy: you're gonna have to prove that now, you get that, yeah? Jimmy: walked right into making yourself look a twat Janis: you ask for any more 📷 and it's just gonna be weird Jimmy: alright, if you'd rather do it here in front of dickheads buying ☕ crack on Jimmy: I'll wait Janis: what about me doesn't scream 'loves an audience' Jimmy: what about me makes you reckon I'll be up for being your fake boyfriend after any of that bollocks? Jimmy: far as plans to dump me go Janis: you're the one asking me to do it, dickhead Janis: can't reverse psychology your way into getting to be the one doing the dumping Jimmy: you set yourself up, dickhead, nowt to do with me Janis: you could let it slide Janis: you already know I can dance Jimmy: I could Jimmy: you have got that IOU Janis: not what I'd use it for in an ideal world but Jimmy: might let you keep it and let it go an' all if I like the sound of what you would use it for Jimmy: am in a VERY 😁 mood now Janis: that'd be telling Janis: can't risk that 😁 Jimmy: go on Jimmy: you said it were in an ideal world, nowt but 😁 there Janis: but that ain't where any of us is Janis: so no point Jimmy: 🥺🥺🥺 Janis: yeah Janis: you weren't meant to stop 😁 Jimmy: doing my customer service face, it's as near Janis: if you're an alien who's never seen a person before Jimmy: busted 💔 Janis: 👮=👽 checks out Jimmy: bit racist of you but I get it, the north does look like something out of a shite sci fi film Jimmy: all them fuming orange lasses with nowt on 🤞 for 👽 Janis: bit up yourself Janis: but won't disagree Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: maybe you should go back Janis: first, like Jimmy: what for? Janis: so your dad has to relocate Jimmy: might just still be about big enough for the both of us Janis: it might work Janis: if you keep doing a runner Jimmy: don't see that happening with 👶👶🐕 Janis: he'd get fed up of looking after them, right Jimmy: not leaving them with him long enough to find out Janis: okay Jimmy: or trusting Ian to work out where I'd gone even if I left a 💌 with a drawn out map Janis: he can't be that thick Jimmy: why can't he? Janis: it's impossible he's not heard what your sister wants Janis: ignoring it is another issue Jimmy: yeah Janis: anyway Jimmy: what he's too thick to work out is that she wants a person not a place Jimmy: that's how he reckons he can make it work here with his 🎁💰🐕 Janis: guess he can't give that anywhere Jimmy: he could give her her mates back who were there and know about it, instead of this bollocks where it only gets 🗨 for each new Sharon who comes about Janis: so tell her to do it Jimmy: what makes you think I can tell her to do owt Janis: it's what she wants to do, so help her do it so she doesn't fuck it up Jimmy: she's a kid, I'm not helping her piss off on her own Janis: not permanently Janis: just so he has to do something about it Jimmy: no Janis: alright Jimmy: it's not alright, what the fuck's wrong with you? Janis: she's 12, not 2 Janis: and you said she has friends, all it is is showing up on their doorstep unannounced and waiting for their parents to call Jimmy: she's my sister, not some dickhead I don't care about that I'd use to score points against him Janis: I didn't say you had to, it was just a suggestion Jimmy: leave it out Janis: I said alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: for fuck's sake Jimmy: what? Janis: forget it Jimmy: forget what? Janis: don't be a dick Jimmy: you started it Janis: by trying to help, sure Jimmy: I never asked for it Janis: nah, 'course not Jimmy: you don't know her Jimmy: and if she got it into her head to go looking for my mum instead of pissing about at a mates for a bit, fuck knows what'd happen Janis: like it's going to be easy to convince your dad to move back when he moved for a reason Jimmy: I'm not thick, alright Jimmy: I know how decent his job here is Janis: you either want to do something about it or you don't Janis: and you clearly don't so that's what forget it means Jimmy: stop having a go at me Jimmy: you clearly don't have a fucking clue about what I do or don't want Janis: this is pointless Jimmy: yeah, it is Janis: bye then Jimmy: 👋 Janis: I'll be over the road when you want your stuff back later Jimmy: it's nowt I need back in a bit Janis: then I'll leave it there Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [what do you wanna do like after he's gone home and dealt?] Jimmy: [I'll hit you back up because I was thinking injury wise like obvs it makes sense for them all to be hidden still because Ian is probs suss of Janis so like whatever healing his ribs have done they are probably fucked again but if it's lowkey that whole side of his body his wrist and arm would be an easy one for people to maybe notice at school but not think is a big deal because people hurt them all the time by putting them out when they fall etc and he can write with his other hand anyway but because we want some #drama and none of the bruises will be !! for a couple of days he could also have a dislocated shoulder as it's painful and shock factor for her to having to pop it back in but easy enough that she could without anyone else having to be involved] Jimmy: You still over the road or what? Janis: yes Janis: do you need to come in? Jimmy: come out Janis: ok Janis: [do that quickly 'cos we've clearly just been waiting] Jimmy: [I dread to think the state of this poor boy just trying not to cry outside mcvickers gaff like hey] Janis: [we're gonna be really shocked but pretending hard not to be like okay, just trying to survey the damage 'what do you need me to do?'] Jimmy: [show her your shoulder boy like nbd just casually pop this back into place because we're lowkey in shock here hence we told her to come outside even though you're gonna have to go in because you have to do this while he's lying on a bed you can't just do it here] Janis: [just gonna lead you inside without touching you or saying anything, just gesturing like come on 'it's okay' which is the furthest thing from the truth but what else can you say rn] Jimmy: [thank god you can trust her not only to do this but to not tell anyone because what a big ask when we're literally a month in] Janis: [lowkey, thank god you have a room here too, gonna rip your top off instead of trying to get it off 'cos impossible and bunching it in a way to make a decent gag because don't need to bite through your tongue or scream the house down, letting him get ready in that much and getting on the bed but not giving him loads of warning because best way to do it] Jimmy: [last we need is Libi or mcvickers rocking up and interrupting any of this so well played gal because he is not in a headspace to be helpful rn] Janis: [at least its one of those things where it's better once it's done so that'll be some minor relief for you, still, 'sorry' though 'cos it's fucking gnarly 'wait here' and going out to the bathroom, thank god they're old and probably have some decent painkillers, have to cross that bridge later when they think you've taken 'em for fun gal] Jimmy: [if he was thinking clearly he would not have come here because you already know too much gal and more importantly isn't not fair to make you do this when you're literally supposed to get xrays and shit first but here we are and you know he's saying sorry too and also trying to stop her from leaving even though she's literally just going too the bathroom and we realistically know that] Janis: [just keep telling him it's okay over and over 'we need to get you comfortable, okay? then we'll-' trail off 'cos we don't know and we know that's gonna be a journey to get there] Jimmy: [just nod because we know she's not wrong you do need those painkillers] Janis: [get as many of them down you as is safe boy, thanks for having a decent stash guys, also bandages we're gonna try to make use of now, taking his hand gently 'do you think any of the fingers are broken?'] Jimmy: [they gonna be suss about where all this has gone you're gonna have to lie convincingly gal, but for now we're just moving all our fingers by like messing about doing the signing alphabet and stuff like cos I'm gonna let you live and say they are okay] Janis: [sigh of relief like okay, we don't need to splint any of those, checking to see if he can bend his arm and how high he can etc before settling on splinting the whole forearm and then doing a sling 'he does realize you'll probably have to take more time off school now, where's the fucking sense in that' basically to ourselves and under our breath 'cos we know it's not logical and also not really about that] Jimmy: [didn't realise when you were having all that fun fake nursing each other that it would come to this, did you lads? ugh Ian, but jimothy is just getting ready to go when she's done this like okay thanks bye as if I'm just gonna let you walk out and go back to big brother duties and whatever else you're thinking about rn sir] Janis: [putting a hand out like stop 'you can't just go back'] Jimmy: ['I can't just stay here' like you literally can boy it's okay] Janis: '[just sit down, you need to give yourself chance to catch up'] Jimmy: [when you do sit down without arguing or saying anything pisstakey and it's so unlike him that we all hate it] Janis: [sit in silent shock for a sec guys 'you know you can't let him do this again' 'you will end up in hospital'] Jimmy: ['you're acting like there's owt else I can do that I've not'] Janis: ['that isn't what I'm saying' 'this isn't working, not any more'] Jimmy: ['What then, you still want me to tell Cass to crack on making him more fuming than I ever have done, knowing what he's like?] Janis: ['has he hit her?'] Jimmy: ['not yet'] Janis: ['you're gonna have to consider possibilities you don't like, you can't live like this'] Jimmy: ['there ain't a possibility I've not, I've been living like this for ages'] Janis: ['this isn't just discipline or whatever the fuck, it's assault and he knows that, wouldn't you be better off without him?'] Jimmy: ['where do you reckon we'd go? They're not better off without me'] Janis: ['I don't know, all I know is, he gives you any more injuries, neither of you will have any say who gets involved, okay'] Jimmy: ['he's got away with it this long'] Janis: ['well he isn't now'] Jimmy: ['I didn't come here for you to have another go at me'] Janis: ['I'm not'] Jimmy: ['nobody knows fuck all about it and that's the way it's staying'] Janis: [just shrugging like okay and getting up to go 'get some sleep' Jimmy: [likewise getting up to leave and actually go home this time like okay bye] Janis: ['next time this happens, don't come to me for help, because this isn't fair' 'because I do know and I'm not going to pretend I don't again'] Jimmy: ['I shouldn't have bothered coming this time' because we know it's not fair and we're just very sad and frustrated by life obvs 'do what you like' because lord knows we would if we could] Janis: ['I'm not going to tell anyone' 'but it has nothing to do with what I like, Jesus fucking Christ'] Jimmy: ['and I'm not saying tah for you not being a massive dickhead who'd proper fuck my little brother and sister over' a shrug but we're maintaining eye contact because this is serious] Janis: ['it's not about them' because it ain't Jimmy: ['you tell anyone and they'll get chucked into care same as I would'] Janis: ['remind him of that, not me'] Jimmy: ['you don't think I have done?'] Janis: ['there are ways to make it a more serious threat'] Jimmy: [just an exhausted sigh because he's doing everything he can always and it's not enough ever] Janis: ['think about it, the last thing he wants is people knowing, yeah? well I know'] Jimmy: ['might work for a bit, til he's too fuming to be bothered and just tells himself no dickhead'll believe you or owt else he needs to'] Janis: [just looks at him like there's all the evidence needed 'not like it's being made up though'] Jimmy: ['alright, it might be enough to get him to fuck off back to the north and get us away from you, but that don't help me'] Janis: ['except he doesn't want to go back, as is very fucking obvious by now, so it'd be easier for him to stop beating the shit out of you than do that'] Jimmy: [a look like yeah obviously but that doesn't mean he will] Janis: ['it's accountability, if he keeps doing it, I could tell anyone, everyone- he clearly reckons you won't by now, he doesn't know that about me'] Jimmy: [just clearly thinking about if she did have to then follow through on that threat though and tell everyone and how much he obviously doesn't want anyone to know and all of this is just in his expression rn] Janis: [shaking our head like well there's fuck all else to say rn 'get some sleep'] Jimmy: ['stop saying that' cos clearly neither of them will be able to very easily] Janis: ['you need it to heal'] Jimmy: ['just say you want me to piss off, you've already said not to bother coming back'] Janis: ['I'm trying to fucking help you'] Jimmy: ['I know' in a purely frustrated way but then repeating it in a soft way because we do know that] Janis: ['I don't know what else you want me to do'] Jimmy: ['I never said I knew what I were doing or what you should' this boy trying not to cry again over here] Janis: ['don't' but softly 'cos we've been trying not to cry this whole convo lowkey and we don't wanna do it now] Jimmy: [doing a feelsy lean with our good side because we want to hug her but we can't] Janis: ['I mean it' and moving away so he doesn't hurt himself, but not dramatically like get away] Jimmy: [a nod because we know and we appreciate everything she has done and is trying to do more than we can put into words without crying rn ' but I shouldn't have made you do that' a look at his shoulder 'I'm a dickhead'] Janis: [shrug like it's nothing, like I'm sure you've seen dislocated shoulders but doubt you were the one putting them back in but okay 'don't mean you deserve any of this'] Jimmy: [a look like don't because we know it's not nothing and we're really sorry about this now we're thinking clearer] Janis: ['you didn't have anywhere else to go'] Jimmy: ['that don't mean it were alright to come here and do this to you'] Janis: ['I'm not the one battered and bruised, I'm fine'] Jimmy: ['I'm used to that bollocks, it's having someone be bothered about it that I can't get my head round' when you aren't used to having people care about you ever so you always feel like you're fucking it up] Janis: ['be a pretty shit person if I didn't' 'so I can see the confusion' not really the time to be salty about that but we are] Jimmy: [a lol which we then regret because ouch] Janis: [tryna be serious like 'for fuck's sake' but a lil bit 😏] Jimmy: [when you wanna kiss her so much that you've simply got to, injuries be damned] Janis: [at least your face is purposely avoided so you'll be okay but you can't go in sad times for you 'I'm sorry' 'that you think I'm having a go at you'] Jimmy: [shaking his head because he genuinely doesn't think that 'I didn't mean that it were just -' no need to finish that because she knows what you mean, we've all been put through it tonight honey and we've already admitted we've been a dickhead] Janis: [nods because yeah 'I was never saying it was easy, I don't think that'] Jimmy: [also nods because yeah 'and I weren't saying it were a shit idea'] Janis: ['I just want-' not finishing that sentence like never mind 'anyway'] Jimmy: [all the eye contact because always 'what?'] Janis: ['I just want you to be alright' mumbling and not giving more than a second of eye contact like you haven't already said ily and that you care] Jimmy: [posing to show off the amazing job she's done bandaging him up and 😁 like I am alright now as if it's that simple] Janis: [just like mhmm like that is not what I mean and you know that but we don't need to get into it rn it's okay] Jimmy: [pull her even closer to you because we do know what she means and we appreciate it] Janis: [checking him like be careful please 'I'm sleeping on the floor' it's definitely a double but we don't wanna hurt him] Jimmy: [gestures at the bed like um look how much space there is compared to what we've used to 'no need for that'] Janis: ['could make a pillow wall' like people who hate their partners do lmao] Jimmy: ['that'll be Mia at every one of them sleepovers, cracking on just like her dad taught her' shading Ella and Mia's mum in one go lol] Janis: [we have to lol 'poor els, no 'accidental' rub ups for her'] Jimmy: [goes to do the 💔 but can only do half so has to force the bae to do the other bit for us] Janis: ['so tragic' and lowkey forcing him to get situated properly in this bed as comfortably as possible 'what are you gonna say happened then?' 'cos can't hide for the whole time it'd take to heal] Jimmy: ['weren't planning to do a q&a about it' cos he's honestly not thought about it yet with everything else he has been thinking about 'don't matter as long as nobody reckons you smacked me about'] Janis: [a look like who is going to think that? then rolling our eyes 'cos is the type of thing Mia would try to say lol 'well no one is going to think you got it playing a sport' cheeky bit of shade as we are looking in the wardrobe and under the bed for something] Jimmy: [chucking a pillow at her for the shade like oi 'I'll say I fell over or some bollocks, worked for my mum'] Janis: [making a noise like psh but we're not throwing that back 'you tryna prove you have aim? alright, I believe you' and coming back with the pillow and the sleeping bag we've retrieved to sleep in so we're not rolling all over] Jimmy: [a look like you know how good my aim is because any excuse to be saucy about anything especially when we're so upset about this whole sleeping situation but trying to downplay it] Janis: ['thank god you're ambidextrous' meant to be taking the piss out of him but it just sounds thirsty so we're loling] Jimmy: [😏 'you'll have to tweet that so the fans know'] Janis: ['the offers to fill in whilst you're injured would probably be a lot'] Jimmy: [😒 because we don't wanna think about that 'won't be a slaggy nurse's outfit left in this shithole once they've heard' because also true] Janis: [likewise 'gross' and shaking our head 'there's nothing sexy about hospital'] Jimmy: [a fed up sigh 'I can't be bothered with this' like it's an option to just not be injured, soz boy] Janis: [squeeze his non-injured hand like I know 'it'll be alright, we'll work it out'] Jimmy: ['can we not just fake going away like we were gonna do at new year's?' probably not boy but it's a nice thought] Janis: ['it'd be easier to actually go away' but a tone that's saying, that's how long it'd need to be, not suggesting it] Jimmy: ['let's do that then' as if that's remotely plausible in any way] Janis: ['are you concussed as well?' and moving our fingers about in front of him like follow but 😏 'cos we don't think he actually is obvs or we wouldn't be joking] Jimmy: [takes her hand and turns it into a 👍 like she's agreeing to his great idea 'wouldn't even have to be for that long' because we know he's not gonna do the 2 weeks off that you're meant to when you dislocate your shoulder because he never does what he's supposed to] Janis: ['where are we going then?' as we lay down ourselves] Jimmy: ['where do you wanna go?'] Janis: ['don't care' because we don't 'what about you?@'] Jimmy: ['what makes you think I care?' because likewise we don't] Janis: ['then just not here it is' turning to face him in our little sleeping bag 'assuming the pain pills don't wear off and you change your mind'] Jimmy: [a genuine smile at the prospect of getting to leave for a bit together even hypothetically tbh 'when they wear off you might change yours' and doing a 😒 af face] Janis: ['this is you being a delight, yeah?' and do a feelsy lean assuming we're sleeping on his good side 'cos makes sense] Jimmy: ['that were me doing an impression of you remembering what a nightmare I were last time we went away' because that skerries domestic when she tried to get him to sleep in a bed we all remember those joys] Janis: ['bit rude' like how dare you insinuated I'm ever grumpy lollolollll 'you'll be less trouble now you're fucked up' but a sad sigh 'cos its not funny though we're trying] Jimmy: [taking her hand again so you can write soz on it playfully but then just properly hold it because we heard that sad sigh and we are really soz in our heart] Janis: [doing the 👌 symbol which is probs hard to follow so then just doing a 💕 like] Jimmy: [doing an irl 🤝 because best friends forever] Janis: [then tucking him in like go to sleep nerd 'it'll be better in the morning'] Jimmy: [goes to say something because it won't be but we're deciding against it so she doesn't sad sigh again and closing our eyes instead] Janis: [gently lean over and kiss both his eyes] Jimmy: [not opening our eyes or anything but 'I really fucking like you' with feeling because he do] Janis: [got to kiss you on the lips with as much feeling 'cos we cannot trust ourselves to say anything rn] Jimmy: [have a moment because it's been a very dramatic night]

[aaello-w]

DP Plot - Storyline help

So I was writing a fanfic where full Danny and Pariah fuse (like Dan) and I had two options one this prompt which I will post right here or Insane!Danny straight up V*res Pariah's core (for a valid reason I swear) because he is insane. I did this because I want the reader's to know Danny is fucking crazy and is basically the Bill Cipher of the DP universe. So lemme know watchu think PLEASE!

The leader of the frost giants sighed in contemplation as he listened to the older halfa words.

"You're insane Vlad. Waking the Great One up in such a manner is sure to taint him and giving your record for these things I'd rather not risk it."

"And for how long do you intend to keep him asleep? Surely you must have realized that he WILL die if he doesn't come out of this soon, Frostbite." Vlad argued.

"His core may be fractured but it still functions as long as it remains here! He will be fine. Nocturne has agreed to keep him in a stable condition."Frostbite growled signaling to the jar containing a blue crystal orb. Although retaining its round shape it was in shards as if in need of an adhesive to keep it together. The current adhesive was a small purple misty band.

"Its. Been. Thirteen. YEARS!" Vlad growled back. "He hasn't aged a day but his peers are already courting. At this rate, they may as well die before he has the chance to crack an eye open. What do you think that'll do to him?"

"What do YOU think fusing his core with that BEAST's will do to him?" Frostbite stalked over to Plasmius and grabbed his shirt. Bringing his face close. "Our cores are our very souls, Plasmius and for him its that and his heart. As his godfather, I understand that you want him to live but if we do this how sure are you that he will even survive? How sure are you that he would remember who he is? That he wouldn't become a beast just like him?" The silence was tense and neither said a word. "The updates from Nocturne show that the Great One is stable but even HE won't be able to fix this if you mess up.'

"I know him. He can overcome it. He defeated Pariah once so I'm sure he can do it again." Frostbite saw the certainty in his red eyes and released the older halfa.

"Very well." He sighed defeated. " I'm sure you've seen Lord Clockwork about this matter before you came to see me." The Frost Giant took his silence as a yes. "I see, so I would not be mistaken to assume you have brought the materials needed for the transfusion?"

"You know me too well," Plamius said with a smirk. While the ring of rage and the crown are in your possession correct" Frostbite nodded. "I've gotten the old tyrants core right here." He said as he pulled out three thermoses from his bag.

They were not like the others that Frostbite had ever seen the Great one use. Instead of silver and green, these were purple and red. They had a see-through chamber in between their torsos. The one to the left contained a core, not unlike a sea urchin. It was somewhat round but was covered in deadly looking spikes dripping with a tar-like liquid the Frost Giant hadn't seen before while the one to the right was filled with ectoplasm. The middle one remained empty. They were placed on a console on some sort and tubes were plugged to their side both leading to the middle empty thermos.

After the setup Plasmius reverted back to Masters causing Frostbite to lift a furry eyebrow at his clothes. He was wearing a deep red hazmat suit. Vladimir turned to face him covering his face and greying hair with hazmat face protection.

"Just to be safe. I don't want my signature to interfere with this and this will keep it from doing just that. After we bring him in here I need you and everyone in the vicinity to be cleared out of at least this cave. Can you get that done?" Vlad said fixing his grey gloves.

"I believe so but I must warn you if I remove him you must work fast. Without his core, if his body thaws he'll die." 'And I'll kill you.' Was a threat that Masters understood. "Nocturne has also been informed so the Great One is also being prepared subconsciously to be awakened."

"Don't worry about that." He held his hand out to the Frost Giant who reluctantly gave Vlad their Saviour's fractured Core. " Bring Daniel and place him on the table. Like you said we need to work fast." Frostbite left immediately.

The old Halfa looked at the core and sighed. 'I can't believe he agreed to this.'

"Are you ready for this Daniel?" He asked the blue broken shards that only slightly resembled the orb they once were. 'Please work.'

He gently placed the core shards in the vacant thermos causing to shine bright blue as it floated in its container.

"Skulker. The gauntlets."

The hunter deactivated his invisibility and handed him the glove like machine now modified not to remove the ghost from a person but to modify the structure of one. It had taken the better part of the thirteen years to create these changes but he had done it.

"I still need you on standby... Just in case it fails." Skulker simply nodded and became invisible.

"Plasmius." Frostbite had returned and was carrying his charred body covered in white sheets. The scars hadn't healed and to the untrained eye, he was just a victim to a horrible fire but that was far from the case.

He was so willing to give his life for so many and nobody besides some of the frost giants, Clockwork, himself and Skulker knew he was still alive. Even his family and friends had mourned and forgotten him.

"Are you ready?" Frostbite asked as he laid the boy down and hooked him up to the medical equipment he had summoned to the room. The heart monitor showed his pulse and heart beat which moved like they were in slow motion.

"The question is - Is he?" Vlad asked softly at the sight of the younger halfa. It still made his stomach curl at the sight of him like this. He couldn't believe the boy had lived through the entire ordeal, even if he was less human than he was, to begin with. That catastrophe would and should have killed anyone.

"We have an hour for the transplant so I advise that you use your time wisely. The people in these parts have been distributed elsewhere so no one will interrupt us now." The Frost Giant locked the doors and sighed suddenly looking much older as he glared at the man. "Vladimir if this fails..."

"It won't," Vlad said firmly. "I may have done many crazy things in the past but I do love Daniel as if he were my son. I would be lying to say that I'm not s-scared to fail but that's because he does not deserve that." He stated and if anyone heard his stutter no one mentioned it. "Okay. Let's begin we have already wasted too much time."

After entering the password into the machine it the ectoplasm began to slowly drain itself into the blue core's chamber as the same happened with Pariah's core. The blue core pulsed almost uncertain to accept before it began to sink the mix.

Thirty minutes in, the heart monitor spiked and Danny began to twitch.

"I thought you said an hour!" Vlad said as he watched the boy's face contort in pain. He felt horrible the boy was in an uncomfortable rest for more than a decade and the first thing he feels during his 'resurrection' is pain.

The thermoses began to tumble violently, cackling with electricity that promptly shocked Vlad who tried to stabilize it. Both the chambers on the left and right proceeded to drain their content at a rapid pace some how suffocating the halfa's core. Pariah's core fading as it drains.

"Plasmius, what's happening? Is this supposed to be happening?" Vlad remained silent as he began to rapidly type on the keypad on the controls. "VLAD!" He roared.

"Look would you be quiet! If you haven't noticed, I'm trying to save his life." Vlad hissed.

The core shards began to lose hue and fade as they made no sign of coming back together. His core, his heart, was failing.

It was obvious that Frostbite was restraining himself to a great degree but he could see that Vlad was also under pressure as he could potentially lose the boy. He thought about where he would have been if he hadn't taken the brunt of the blast. If the people had listened to his warnings. If they hadn't caught him. He would have had more time but fate seemed to work against him. Even now Vlad kept trying to work through this. He may look like one but he wasn't a monster.

The beeping grew erratic and the thermos to the right (containing the ectoplasm) crashed causing the chamber to explode. As if that wasn't shocking enough another ghost appeared beside Vlad and created a shield to protect Vlad, himself and The great one from the blast. It was the hunter ghost, Skulker.

"Vlad we need to stop, if we continue we'll only damage it further. Remove his core." Skulker said.

"NO! We can't, I can't turn my back on this, on him. Not again." Vlad's voice heavily dripped with an emotion the frost giant had never truly heard on the older halfa. Guilt. Honestly, it made Vlad look older than he actually was.

He didn't want to make assumptions on fear that he might get angry that this halfa was actually acting on force hope and impulse and the fact that they were not alone, but he decided he would deal with it if, no, not if, when they revived the Great One.

The beeping had not stopped but there was a reaction from the Great One who was heavily panting. The shards had began to descend into a bluish purple with flecks of red in the broken shards which were slowly sealing themselves with the tar like essence of Pariah's core. Vlad seemed to notice this and gave a sigh of relief and shrugged Skulker off.

"Look now it working h-"

The last two thermos crashed with Daniel's core in it. A ghostly wail erupted almost immediately.

So that's it peeps that or Danny v*res Pariah's core. This version makes Vlad the staple father figure. Quick and easy. The other version Danny seizes the throne by force and honestly threatens Fright Knight into serving him because Danny doesn't want to kill him even though he kills the general draguar ghost in charge of his torture almost immediately. (Because Danny does not like his tongue chopped off.) So what do you guys think?

[allcheatscodes]

the legend of zelda ocarina of time gamecube

http://allcheatscodes.com/the-legend-of-zelda-ocarina-of-time-gamecube/

the legend of zelda ocarina of time gamecube

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time cheats & more for GameCube (GameCube)

Cheats

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Hints

Easter Eggs

Glitches

Guides

Get the updated and latest The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time cheats, unlockables, codes, hints, Easter eggs, glitches, tricks, tips, hacks, downloads, guides, hints, FAQs, walkthroughs, and more for GameCube (GameCube). AllCheatsCodes.com has all the codes you need to win every game you play!

Use the links above or scroll down to see all the GameCube cheats we have available for The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.

Check Nintendo64 cheats for this game

Also Known As: Ocarina of Time: The Legend of Zelda and Zelda: Ocarina of Time

Genre: Role-Playing, Third-Person 3D Action RPG Developer: Nintendo Publisher: Nintendo ESRB Rating: Everyone Release Date: April 29, 2003

Hints

Get Super Cocos Easy

At Lon-Lon Ranch as a kid, go to the room were Talon is sleeping. Before you talk to him, pick up all the chickens and throw them into the corner near the stairs where they cant get out. Once the room is clear of all the chickens, wake up Talon and play the game. Now the only chickens in the big area of the room are the super cocos.

Getting Biggoron’s Sword

Use the following long trading sequence as an adult to get Biggoron’s Sword. Go to the lady that gave young Link the empty bottle, when her Cuccos were rescued. She will give Link a Pocket Cucco egg. Wait for the egg to hatch, then bring it to Talon in Kakariko Village. Bring the Cucco back to the lady, to receive Cojiro, the Blue Cucco. Go to the Lost Woods, then turn right at the entrance. Give Cojiro to the man to receive an Odd Mushroom, which will spoil if too much time is wasted. Rush to the Potion shop in Kakariko Village, then go left into the room. Run into the shop to the right, then give the Mushroom to the lady at that location. She will give Link an Odd Potion. Hurry back to the Lost Woods. The man will be gone, but a Kokiri will be here. Give the Potion to her to receive the Poacher’s Saw. Ride the horse to Gerudo Valley. There is a broken bridge here, so whip Epona to jump it. Give the saw to the carpenter that is outside to receive Biggoron’s Broken Sword. Go to the top of Death Mountain, then walk to the right. Biggoron will appear, rubbing his eyes. He has an eye infection and will give link a Prescription. Bring the Prescription to King Zora after he has been unfrozen to receive the Eyeball frog, an ingredient for the Eyedrops. Hurry to the Lakeside Laboratory at Lake Hylia and give the Eyeball Frog to the Old Man. He will give Link the Eyedrops. Hurry back up to the Death Mountain Summit and ive the Eyedrops to Biggoron. After using them, he will give Link a Claim Check. Wait three days (play the Sun’s Song six times to quickly pass the time), give him back the Claim Check to receive Biggoron’s Sword. This weapon is twice as powerful as the Master Sword, and will not break like the Giant’s Knife. Note: If Link is late during any of the time-sensitive parts of the trade, the game will restart back at the person you need to give the item to, and will cost you ten rupees, but will allow another try. Ocarina songs may not be used to teleport to a location during the trade.

Unlimited Money

As an adult go to the Temple in the Lost Woods. There will be a monster with a hammer if you hit him with your sword a few times he will die.If you hit him with your Hookshot he will be stunned.When you kill him you will get a lot of rubbies.After you kill him play the Minuel of Forest.And he will there again.KILL HIM!!!

Free Blue Rupee

As a kid go to the shop where you get your Duku Shield and go towards the right wall and go foward to find a Blue Rupee.

Four Bottles

Bottles are one of the most useful items in Zelda! Here are the locations of all four.

1. Chicken Lady gives this to you the first time you give her all of her chickens (see below). 2. Find the 10 Poes in Hyrule Field (see below)3. This was in the Walkthrough, but what the heck? As Young Link, go to Hylia Lake, then dive down into using the Silver Scale to find a Bottle with a note in it! Give it to King Zora, then he'll give you the empty Bottle back. 4. Win Talon's Chicken game in Lon Lon Ranch! Check out the Mini-Game Section for tips on that.

Defeating Ganondorf And Ganon

Before you go face Ganondorf, make sure you have everything, all weapons (especially the Light Arrow, which you can get at the Temple of Time when you save all the Sages), all 100 Gold Skulltulas, all Gold Skulltula gifts, all Heart Pieces, and all the Great Fariy gifts. REALLY make sure you have the Great Fariy gift of double defense (which is near Ganon’s Castle). With your for bottles, make sure you have two fariys and two bottles of blue potion. When you have destroyed the sage barriers protecting Ganondorf’s Tower, go in, dodge the flaming Keese, and go to the first door, and defeat the two Lizofoes. Go through the door after defeating them, up the stairs and through the next door. You’ll see a chest with the Boss Key in it, and to get it, you’ll need to defeat the two Stalfoes. Go through the next door, up the stairs, and through another door with two Iron Knuckles. If you want to hurt them real quick, use a Bombchu. When they’re defeated, just go through a few more doors and use the Boss Key. When you reach the last door, a cartoon will show Ganondorf playing the organ with Princess Zelda as his prisoner, and Triforce symbols coming on Zelda’s and Link’s hands, and Ganondorf taking Zelda’s Triforce of Wisdom, adding it to his Triforce of Power. Before Ganondorf starts talking, Link’s Triforce of Courage will refill his health and magic. When the game introduces Ganondorf, immeditly run to the outside, because Ganondorf will hit the floor and the blocks will fall and he’ll create a pillar for himself. You won’t be able to use Navi’s Z-Targeting for a while. When he starts to use an energy ball, draw your sword and repel it to send it back to him. After a few games of tennis (as I like to call it), the ball will hit Ganondorf, and he’ll be stinned for a few seconds. Quickly draw out your bow and transform your arrows into Light Arrows, and fire one at Ganondorf. When he is hit, Navi can use Z-targeting again and you can use your Longshot on Ganondorf to pull yourself to him, or use your Hover Boots (I’d recomend the Longshot), and attack Ganondorf with your sword. When Ganondorf is about to get up (you’ll know when you see the Light Arrow’s dust goes away), use your Longshot on the stain-glass window to get away from him. If you don’t get away, he’ll hit the pillar and some of the blocks will fall away. If Ganondorf’s about to make a portal where he’ll use a few energy balls, just use a Light Arrow since it takes him a while to use it. Do all that I’ve told you how to get at Ganondorf a few times and you’ll soon win. If you run out of life or magic, drop down the pillar, and break the jars for them. When you beat Ganondorf, all your health and magic will be filled up again, and Princess Zelda will be free. But, with his last breath, Ganondorf tries to bring down the tower. You and Zelda have three (3) minutes to get out. Zelda will unlock doors and you’ll fight monsters. After about two or three doors, Zelda will be trapped in a ring of fire, and to extinguish it, you’ll have to defeat two Stalfoes. DON’T USE YOUR MAGIC! SAVE IT! When they’re defeated, Zelda will give you hearts if you lost any, or if you didn’t, she’ll give you rupees. After a while, you’ll go over the bridge that led you to the beginning of the tower, and you’ll see a ReDead. Dodge it, and Zelda will open the last door. After the tower falls, you and Zelda hear a loud BOOM. Go over to the pile of stones, and a ring of fire will separate you from Zelda, creating an arena. Ganondorf will come out of the pile, and the Triforce of Power will change him into a monster, and he will now be Ganon. Ganon has two big swords, and when Link raises the Master Sword to block one, the Master Sword will fly out of his grasp, next to Zelda. This time Navi will be able to help you. To start the battle, cast Nayru’s Love to form a protective shield. Roll under Ganon’s legs. His tail is his weak point, so slash at it with the Biggoron Sword. If you don’t have the sword, use the Megaton Hammer. Keep doing this a few times. After a while, Ganon will fall, and the fire will go away. By then, Nayru’s Love will end. Run to Zelda and get the Master Sword. Make sure the Master Sword is your sword to use. When the Master Sword is ready, run back to Ganon. The ring of fire will come back, and you have time to slash at Ganon’s tail. Ganon will be much faster, so to get to his tail, fire Light Arrows at his face. He’ll be blind for a while, and you can then use the Master Sword on his tail. If you run out of magic, use a blue potion, or have Ganon slash a t a pillar to get faries or magic jars. Keep fighting Ganon and soon he’ll will fall. Zelda will use her magic to hold Ganon down and tell you to use your sword. The Master Sword will glow with the power to bring Ganon down, and all you have to do is use the sword on his face. Ganon will act wild and Zelda will call to the six Sages, and they’ll suck Ganon into the Evil Realm. A cartoon will show Link and Zelda in the clouds, and Zelda will tell Link to put the Master Sword back at the Temple of Time and close the Door of Time. Link will give the Ocarina to Zelda, and after he is taken away, you’ll see a cartoon of everyone celebrating at the Lon Lon Ranch, and see the five Sages you rescued. And finally, it’ll show Link as a boy again, Navi parting with him, and Link going to the castle to see the young Princess Zelda looking for Ganondorf, and thankfull Link is alive. Congratulations! You beat the game!

Free Goron Tunic

After you have grown-up inside the Goron’s cave there will be a little goron rolling in place of the bigger one. The only thing is that if you get close to him he will turn around. what you have to do is make sure he is in the small cavern near the north wall. Then pull out a bomb then thow it behind him so that when he turns around he will get hit by the explosion and stop. Talk to him about the dragon then the gorons. After you finish talking he will give you the Tunic and the shop will open.

Hide And Seek

At Lon-Lon Ranch as a kid, go to the room were Talon is sleeping. Before you talk to him, pick up all the chickens and throw them into the corner near the stairs where they cant get out. Once the room is clear of all the chickens, wake up Talon and play the game. Now the only chickens in the big area of the room are the super cocos.

Frozen Zora’s Domain

Zora’s Domain will be frozen when playing as an adult. There is no way to thaw it.

Ending Bonus

Successfully complete the game and wait at the “The End” screen. Eventually, the Scarecrow’s Song will begin playing with different instruments.

Easy Way Past The Geurdo

To knock out a Geurdo thief, simply shoot her with an arrow. To freeze her, use the hookshot or longshot.

Malon’s Obstacle Course

Return to Lon Lon Ranch after getting Talon to go back home (by waking him up with the Cucco the girl in Kakariko Village gives Link). Complete Malon’s obstacle course as an adult (talk to her while on Epona) in under fifty seconds. If successful, she’ll give Link a cow. It will be at his house in Kokiri Forest. Use it to get Lon Lon Milk by playing Epona’s Song in front of the cow.

Free Fairies

Play Zelda’s Lullaby in front of a Gossip Stone and they will give you a free Fairy. Play the Song of Storms in front of a Gossip Stone and it will give you a Big Fairy. Get a butterfly to land on a Deku stick and it will turn into a Fairy. Slowly walk towards the butterfly with a Deku Stick out; this requires patience. Play the Song of Storms near a soft patch of soil with a Magic Bean planted. It will grow and produce three regular Fairies.

Before Opening The Door Of Time

After collecting the 3 Spiritual Stones, Navi will urge Link to go to the castle. Before doing so, try to collect all the hearts and the Gold Skulltula tokens and get the master sword. Gandorf will take the Triforce and turn Link into a adult making half the heart pieces and Gold Skulltulas inaccessible.

Stretch A Gossip Stone

Hit a Gossip Stone with the hammer.

Gossip Stone Blast Off

Drop a bomb near a Gossip Stone to have it blast off into space.

Kill The Rolling Goron

To kill the giant rolling Goron in Goron City, bomb him around ten times. After the ninth bombing, he will grunt and the other Goron’s will run out to kill you.

Chicken Attack

As in previous games in the series, if Link approaches a chicken and hurts it in some way, it will call for others to attack. The attack can be stopped by entering a door or leaving the area.

Fix A Broken Sign

After slashing a sign and breaking it, play Zelda’s Lulluby while standing in front of the pieces.

Ocarina Flats And Sharps

Hold R and press one of the Ocarina playing buttons to make a sharp note, or Z to make a flat.

Free Lon Lon Milk

Approach any cow with an empty bottle and play Epona’s Song. The song will remind the cow of the pasture, and will give Link free milk.

Get Fire And Ice Arrows

After completing the water temple, go to Lake Hylia. Play the Sun Song at plaque near the warp point (serenade of water) to make the sun rise. As soon as this happens, shoot the sun with an arrow and fire arrows will appear. To get ice arrows, complete the Geurdo training center.

Illegal Fishing Lure (Sinking Lure)

Use the following steps to get a better fishing lure that can catch more fish. As an adult, walk to the log that is sticking out in the pond. Walk around on it awhile to find a sinking lure, that can catch fish almost every time. Note: The lure may only be used once, and if used to catch a record weight fish, the counterman will not give Link a prize. The sign on the tank will also be marked with “With illegal fishing lure.”

Purple Rupees

Kill any enemy with the light arrows to receive a purple rupee.

Rupees With Bunny Mask

After completing the Forest Temple, return to the Temple of Time. Drop the Master Sword back into the stone to change back to Young Link. Go to the mask shop and make sure Link can borrow the Bunny Mask. Link should also have the Giant’s Wallet (that holds 500 rupees) for this trick to be most effective. Thirty Gold Skulltulas should also have been collected, and Link should have talked to one of the kids in the house in Kakariko Village that has the curse on them to get the wallet. Buy as much as possible with the current amount of rupees. Go to Hyrule Field and run to the right, towards Lon Lon Ranch. Run until a man running around like an idiot comes into view. Follow him until he sits down and gets tired. Wear on the Bunny Mask and talk to him. He will ask for the mask and fill Link’s wallet with rupees.

Easiest And Ultimate Ruby Collection

Go to the drawbridge in front of the marketplace during the day and run up to the top of one of the chains. Wait for night to arrive (or play the Sun’s Song). Carefully run across the bridge to collect three red rubies worth an easy 60 rupees. Play the Sun’s Song again to lower the drawbridge. Go into the market and come back out again to repeat the trick.

Breaking Open Boxes

To break open a regular brown wooden box, just run at it and press A. Link will roll and smash open the box. This is useful when finding all the chickens and to get a Skulltula in the Marketplace room with the pots.

Money From Trees

Run at a tree as young Link and press A to roll and slam into it. Then, a skulltula or some rupees will usually fall out.

Unlimited Money

Go to the Lost Woods and find the Skull Kid who is alone as adult Link. Then, lock onto and kill him, and he will give you 200 rupees. Enter a door, return, and repeat the process to collect an unlimited amount of money.

Getting The Biggest Quiver

Enter the archery game as an adult after getting the Gerudo Membership Card. It costs 20 rupees to play, but is worth it. Play the first time and get 1,000 points and to receive a Heart Container. Play the game a second time and get 1,500 points and to receive the Biggest Quiver, which holds up to fifty arrows. When starting the archery game, aim for the bullseye and fire to get 100 points each time. Also shoot at the target at the end. When you come around the end target, aim for the clay jars. Shoot them to collect 100 points per jar. Keep getting 100’s on the targets and successfully shoot all the clay jars to get the required 1,500 points for the Biggest Quiver.

Getting Gold Skulltulas

Capture a bug in a bottle and drop them on some soft soil, where Link would put some Magic Beans. Then, a Gold Skulltula will appear. Kill it and get your new found token. This works on all of them except the soft soil spot right next to the man that sells the Magic Beans.

Finding Gold Skulltulas

Hunt only at night because that is the time that the Gold Skulltulas appear. Some appear while Link is a child and some appear while he is an adult. A few appear during both these times. The Skulltulas like dirt patches, where the magic beans may be planted. Use a bottle of bugs to surface the spiders. Nine of the ten spots contain a Skulltula. Some like to hide in trees, so check them with a roll attack. It is wise to check most trees because most all of them have a good prize such as bombs or rupees if not a gold Skulltula. The Skulltulas can be in slingshot range many times, but require a boomerang to retrieve the token. They also love to hide in crates, so use the roll attack to break them.

Finding A Bag That Holds 40 Seeds

Go to the Lost Woods. After entering, turn right and continue forward to a ledge with a fence and ladder to the left. A metal circular object will be suspended from a tree at this location. Shoot it three times exactly in the center with the slingshot and to receive the bag. A “100” will flash when your shot hits the center. You must score “100” three times in a row.

Finding Nayru’s Love

Nayru’s Love is a protective barrier that helps Link withstand damage. It can be found by blowing up the crack between the two palm trees in Desert Colossus.

Finding The Giant’s Knife

Go to Goron City as young Link. On one of the floors is a wall that appears questionable. Blow it up, then keep destroying the other walls behind it. Talk to the big may to learn that he is working on a weapon. Return as older Link to receive the Giant’s Knife.

Finding Saria

To find Saria, go to the Lost Woods and move in the following directions: Right, Left, Right, Left, Center, Left, Right.

Free Milk

After you learn Epona’s song go to a cow and play the song. The cow will tell you she can produce lots of milk and give you free milk instead of paying for it from Talon.

Hurting Epona

While you are riding Epona, take out your bow and shoot her on the neck and she will make a loud nay.

Over 100 Gold Skultulas

You must have: Bombs, Boomerang, And the Song of Storms to do this trick. – In order to get as many gold skultullas as you want, you should go to the tree right next to where you first met Talon. Then you play the song of storms. A hole will open and you can jump down.You will see that parts of the wall are able to be bombed, so bomb the walls, and behind one of them is a gold skulltula get right up next to the teleporter so you have it as close as you can behind you. once you kill the gold skultulla, Z-target the coin, then throw your boomerang at it, as it comes back, do a back-flip into the teleporter, you will get the coin. if you go back down there, the skulltula will still be there, You can do this as many times as you want.

Trading All The Masks

Fox MaskRoyal Guard at the edge of Kakariko Village on the way up to Death Mountain. Skull MaskIn the Lost Forest. Enter the forest and move to the left. Hop on the tree stump while wearing the mask and play Saria's Song. The Skull Kid will then ask Link for the mask. Spooky MaskSell it to the boy in the Graveyard in Kakariko Village. Bunny MaskSell it to the man running around in the Hyrule Field by Lon Lon Ranch. Mask of TruthWith this mask Link can talk to the "Gossip Stones" that have the eye on them. They will reveal helpful hints throughout the game.

Gossip Stone’s Tricks

Dim's Fire: Use Dim's Fire and it will spin like a tornado.Special Arrows: They will be the same of Dim's Fire.Megaton Hammer: It get's it flaten.All Swords: It just bounce's up and down.LongShot: When you hit it it will shake, and boggie.Bomb: This is the best one. Hit it with a bomb and it will count down and will launch in the air, There goes Apollo 14.

Golden Scale

To get the golden scale, become an adult and then go fishing. Catch a fish that is at least 15 pounds. Keep it then talk to the guy at the counter ask him to weigh your fish then he will give it to you.

How To Beat GANON

You will have to stun him in his face with a light arrow then hit him with the gaint’s nife of the hammer on his tail.

How To Beat Dark Link

The easy way is to use a gaints nife and hit under his shield.

Deku Sword

To find the Deku sword, after being summoned by the Deku Tree, head east over to the fenced in area, and enter the small hole. After you crawl through head left until you come to the open passage then head through hang left again until you come to an opening with a chest. Inside is the deku sword. Then exit the way you came. Note: You may also find some money in the grass too.

Big Ruppes

To get one of the big ruppies go to the lost woods where the guy stiing by the stump used to be equiped with the biggorons sword. The skull kid will attack you. Defeat him to get the big ruppe. It’s worth about 300!

Defeating Gohma

To defeat Ghoma Inside the Great Deku Tree, use your slingshoot when its eye turns Red. Then hack and slash him. Repeat until he dies.

Courtyard Windows

In the castle courtyardwhere you meet Zelda, look on the walls. Inside one off the windows you will see pictures of Mario, Luigi, and other Nintendo characters. Shoot that window with your slingshot and you will get a free 20 ruppes. Shoot the other window and a castle gaurd will throw a bomb at you!

Cheats

Currently we have no cheats or codes for The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

Unlockables

Currently we have no unlockables for The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

Easter eggs

Currently we have no easter eggs for The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

Glitches

Glitch: Unlimted Gold Skulltulas

As young Link go to the tree at Hyrule castle nextto where you first meet Talon. Play the song ofstorms to open a secret cave. When you get inthere will be a wall you can bomb in front of you.Bomb the wall left of that one to find a skulltulaand a gold skulltula. Destroy the gold skulltulaand L target the token. Throw the boomarang at it.When the bomarang touches the tokens backflip intothe teleporter. A blank or incomplete message boxwill appear. You will have another gold skulltulaand it will still be in the cave.

Guides

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