#he'll be on the plane now.... man. its a bit selfish but im also sad abt it bc he always noticed how i was feeling when i was at the gym | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

phagodyke · 4 days ago

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tried putting on my radiator for the first time this winter (we've had snow this week.... its focking cold) but it trips the fusebox for the entire flat lmfao. I'm fuuuucked 😐

#all the other radiators work fine its just mine :'(((#and bc its thw weekend they wont come out to fix it until monday at least so thats great #its fine i havent needed it on this week so far and i have layers and a hot water bottle so ill be fine but i did cry abt it a bit #but not so much abt the radiator just a lot on my mind.. i couldnt pick up my prescription after work either bc the secretary left half an #hour early and the very kind nurse who had a look for it anyway couldnt find it and i cant get there any earlier next week bc of work #i know itll be fine ive already sent an email to ask if they can send it to my local pharmacy instead ill get my meds before they run out #but still i cried a bit walking home from the clinic 😢 just been a long week even if not a bad one. and i miss my friend whos moving #he'll be on the plane now.... man. its a bit selfish but im also sad abt it bc he always noticed how i was feeling when i was at the gym #like if i was privately dealing w some shit or just wasnt quite myself he could tell n would find a moment to gently ask or just be there #without probing abt it like man hes so reassuring and kind and has such a big heart. before he left he asked me to look out for some of #the quieter ones in our group and make sure they feel included and someones listening to them when he wont be around to anymore #😢💔💔💔💔 and i know i didnt know him long enough to become proper good friends with him but it meant a lot that he looked out for me #like all i really want in this world is to feel seen n safe esp when im having a hard time. and none of my closer friends really do that #and thats okay like its not their fault and they just express their way of caring differently but sometimes i feel so lonely ah....#and also my period is due and im kind of scared of how painful itll be bc the last few have been so bad snd i find loneliness a lot harder #when im in a lot of pain and anyway this is all probably just the pre period hormones making me so tearful so it doesnt matter #its ok made a big bowl of rice so im going to eat that wrapped up cosy in bed with a movie i think. and then sleep #.diaries

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