#he’s unsure and afraid of what’ll happen if he reaches out into the darkness (opening up to you)

[toji-bunny-girl]

There’s never enough of the right word for him to describe how he feels about you. Gentle? Loving? Pretty? Yes yes, you are those. But then he never really felt that they were what you meant in his heart.

You were more like the colours on an artist’s palette. You’re his colour and he’s the brush, painting the canvas, the papers, the world with the two of you. The light and darkness, mixes and blends of his world all depended on you. And what could a brush do without his colour?

You were like the pure darkness of a room, surrounding him in black that he couldn’t differentiate whether his eyes were shut or not. Everything was a stranger to him in that room. What could be in his grasp if he reached his hand out? A sharp bite from a creature that’ll have his limb gone away? Or a door that’ll be him free from the dark unknown, and into the pure light perhaps?

The way to truly describe you was not a singular word. Rather, it was lines after lines of his thoughts—all with not the same meaning. But nonetheless, you’re always the one that he has on his mind.

[fallenrepublick]

Relenting

So as requested by @linakeroline, this is the second part to Inadequacy, which you can find right here.

Warnings: None I think

Long ago, you’d been told that as vividly as the stars shone above, there was always something that could make them brighter. True as you knew that to be now, they couldn’t be any dimmer than what you saw right in front of you. The sky had always brought a sense of peace to you, the idea of an infinite existence standing just across from your finite one soothing your feelings when nothing else could. Yet, the ache you felt that seemed to threaten to stop your heart only grew heavier.

You hadn’t seen Maul in days, your refusal to come out of your room, even when he sent someone to bring you, had left you completely isolated from the rest of the world. If you did ever leave, you would run the risk of seeing him, which you were not ready for whatsoever.

The moon was high, and the lights both above and below you sang a familiar song, the name of which you couldn’t recall. Each hour that passed blended your world into a different color, and try as you might to avoid it, each hue held an undertone of red in the light and black in the shadows. Even your subconscious reminded you of what you’d done, and not only were you saddened by your loss, but guilt-ridden to boot. The notion that nothing lasts forever, as much as you might repeat it in your head, was not comforting in the silence. If anything, the more you heard it, the more it sounded like a lie.

He had practically poured everything he felt onto you, holding back nothing out of pride, yet you still denied him, ignoring every instinct you had to tell him yes. Why? Why couldn’t you bring yourself to do it? You told yourself over and over that you were only trying to save him from making a mistake, but deep down, you kept asking why, because you knew that was only an excuse.

The door slid open, the hissing reminding you of a snake that had slowly come to drain your life. It might as well have been.

“You’ll die if you keep this up,” Maul said, arms crossed and expression completely unreadable as he noticed you had recoiled into a ball on the window seat. The room was shrouded, both in darkness and regret, the only real light coming from the hallway outside the open door. “I’m not here to convince you of anything. I merely wanted to know you were alright.”

Not wanting to look outside anymore, but also wanting to avoid his eyes, you looked down at your knees, childlike and ashamed. “I’m fine,” was all you said.

Silence followed, the refusal to acknowledge what had occurred days before weighing heavily on the space between you. But he didn’t leave. “I don’t expect things to go back to the way they were. All I can tell is you’re suppressing something. Perhaps it isn’t what I think it is at all, but it’s something, and I won’t leave you to handle it yourself. If you wish to be placed under someone else’s direct command, I will oblige, but your silence only concerns me further.”

“No,” you said, your head snapping up. It came out more frantic than you had initially meant, and you quickly looked away to hide the mild panic in your eyes. “I can handle it.”

“Then what is it?” he pressed, stepping into the room further. “You wouldn’t be here if that were true. Forget what I told you before. Just let me help you.”

You scoffed, noticing that you had begun shaking for some reason. “How can I forget?” You looked up at him, hating that the sight made you want to cry. “Just thinking about you makes me remember, let alone being in the same room. I’m not going to act like everything’s okay when you’re just a few steps from me.”

“So it is about that.” His gaze hardened, leaving you to wrestle with what you had just admitted, to both yourself and to him. “You told me that my admission to you was something I would regret, but as far as I can tell, my only regret is not having told you sooner. My failure to acknowledge you left the impression that your worth stands less than my own.”

“That’s because it is.”

“No, it’s not. If it were, this conversation would not be happening. I know what inferiority looks like. I spent the first half of my life in it. You are the person I have trusted the most for so long, and I will continue to do so from here on regardless of your answer, but you never did give me an answer. Understand that if you truly feel nothing, I will speak no more of my heart, but I will not be dissuaded by societal standards.”

Standing up to face him, you prepared yourself to lie. Contorted as your face was, you were wholeheartedly set on saying the very thing that would free the both of you from this situation. However, when you opened your mouth, what you said was not what you had planned. “Does it look like I want to give this up? I looked forward to waking up every single morning so that I could go into your office or the throne room just to see you. Yeah, this is a mistake, and you’re our ruler goddammit, but I can’t help it and I hate myself for that. This could’ve been left alone like that too, if you weren’t so stubborn.”

“You shouldn’t have to be afraid to tell me the truth.” He stepped closer to you, dangerously close. You had to remind yourself to focus.

“Well, I am. You know what’ll happen? You’ll be scrutinized, judged for this. What am I? Some common nobody that you can find a dime a dozen on any planet. Choosing me is a death sentence for your rule and deep down, you know that too, don’t you?”

“What does it matter?” His hand reached up to brush your cheek. You felt your heart stop. “The billions of stars in the galaxy does not make our sun any less bright, nor our moon any less silver. I would trade you for nothing, nor would I allow anyone to suggest I should. I see you in everything I do, every breath I take, every beat of my hearts. Before, I saw love as nothing more than a distraction for those too weak to rely on themselves, yet now I find myself holding on to every piece of you I can find in my mind."

Against your better judgement, you leaned into him, your face buried into his chest and hands tightly gripping the fabric of his shirt. Internally, you were yelling, cursing at yourself for what you were doing, but your body seemed to move on its own, pure instinct taking over every decision you made, realizing that your thought processes were unreliable. He reached up to hold the small of your back and held your face with the other hand.

“You said you loved me…” you practically whispered against him, unsure of where you were going with this.

“I did, I… do.” His arm tightened around you. “Against everything I’ve ever known, I love you. Even if you grow to despise me, if my past or my future become an aversion to your affections, I will love you with everything that I am. Nothing else matters as long as I live.”

“Yes,” you said, looking up at him, earning a surprised expression from him. “My answer. Yes. I… I love you too.”

He held your face, planting a light kiss on your lips, soft enough that you weren’t even sure it happened. “My angel,” His voice was low, a sound just barely loud enough to hear. “My Starlight. My everything.”

[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

Roguish Women Part 30

Summary: Kate is an American who fled to Paris to escape her past life. Now she's dancing and playing the part of a courtesan at the Moulin Rouge. There she meets Tommy Shelby who thinks she can be useful in expanding his empire. But has he been blinded?

Part 30: Tommy admits what he’s done and Kate welcomes the idea of a home. 

          Kate laughed because she genuinely thought he was kidding. The Shelbys were no different from the other powerful people she knew. People who were so above the law, none of their arrests actually stuck. The police force was far too easy to bribe, as were jurors and judges. She couldn’t count how many times Frank Wallace was arrested, his rap sheet was endless and contained possibly every violation known to lawyers. He was always in and out of Charles Street jail, knew the warren personally and all the guards by their first names. Often times, Kate would pick Frank up from the short stints of being locked up and he’d always say the same thing.

           “Alright fellas, same time next week?”

           It never failed to make Kate laugh.

           But no matter how many times Frank was arrested, he was never convicted. He rarely even stood trial.

           So, to hear that the Shelbys had been arrested and sentenced to death? It was so outlandish.          

           But Tommy didn’t look amused.

           The smile dropped from Kate’s face. “You’re serious? Tommy, you can’t be fucking serious. What happened?”      

           His hand slipped under his glasses so he could rub his eyes. He had hoped they might have a bit more time together before everything about the past month came out. Just to have a few days where neither of them had to worry about anything. They could just enjoy each other’s company and make up for the time that had been stolen from them. There would be a time to address the issues in the outside world. There was always time for that. But there never seemed to be enough time for having a decent relationship. Perhaps that was his fault.

           “There are things in place…”

           Kate hated it when he used that excuse and she knew he knew. And yet, he would always have a plan until the day he died. “I don’t understand what could possibly warrant this.”

           “It’s difficult to explain.”

           “Try.”

           He sighed, forgetting how relentless she could be. “They won’t be hanged. This is to ensure that the Crown cannot hold anything over my head anymore once this is over. I have a letter from the king that puts him in a very difficult place. They’ll want these documents destroyed. So I’ll destroy them once everyone is released from prison.”

           Kate fiddled with her mother’s locket, unsure of what to think. “So, you’re getting something out of this.”

           “The family is all getting something out of this. Everyone in the company, everyone.

           “But they’re the ones in prison.”

           “By the time we get back, it will be a few days until their release. Then the matter is done and over with.”

           She chewed on her lip. “I trust you know what you’re doing but did you stop to think about what this might do to them. I mean were they even aware of what was going to happen?”

           “They couldn’t know. They couldn’t look like accomplices to the matter.”

           Kate put a hand over her face. It felt like her life, for a few years, was just a series of tests. Testing her loyalty and love for Tommy. “Maybe I don’t totally understand. Maybe I do, I don’t know. But I worry about what’ll do to your family. I know how important they are to you and how important you are to them. You can’t risk those relationships.”

           “They’ll understand once they know everything.”

           She gave him a worried look but nodded. She couldn’t help but feel like there was nothing of the matter that was in her control.

~~~~~~~~

           Kate had a lot to think about as they disembarked the ship and took the train to Warwickshire.

           When they arrived at Arrow House, Tommy kissed her and excused himself to his office.

           Kate unpacked the few bits of clothes she had and took out the box that held her ballet shoes. She unraveled the ribbon and picked up the shoes. She finally felt comfortable enough to hold them again. But she wasn’t quite ready to wear them yet. So, she inspected them a bit before returning them back to their usual resting spot and placed the box on a nearby dresser.

           She looked around the room Mary had led her to. Kate had a hunch that it wasn’t the master bedroom. In comparison to the size of the house, it was too small to be the master.

           Yet, Tommy’s clothes were in the closet, all neatly ironed and hung up in a row.

           Kate took a spare hanger to place one of her dresses in the closet. She stepped back to see how it looked beside Tommy’s dress shirts.

           Nice, it looked nice.

~~~~~~~~~~

           Not too long after, Kate knocked on Tommy’s study door. He allowed her in, the lines of worry on his face softening when he saw her open the door.

           “I was hoping someone could drive me into town. I wasn’t able to get my things when I left so I don’t have many clothes to wear.” She explained.

           “Of course, do you want me to go with you?” He offered.

           “You look busy, I don’t want to intervene.” Kate was hoping he was in the midst of getting everyone out of prison, so, she didn’t want to delay him.    

           He nodded and reached into his inner jacket pocket for his billfold. He handed her a good-sized wad of cash.

           She hesitated. “That’s more than enough.”

           He just shrugged but didn’t withdraw the amount.

           “Okay.” She took the money, thinking she could just give the remainder back to him when she returned.

           “One more thing before you go.”

           “Yes?”

           “I want you to take your time, aye? There’s no rush for anything here. Get settled and make this your home if you’d like. I want you to be comfortable here. But if it takes some time before you feel at ease, then that’s alright.” He said in a gentle voice, his blue eyes on hers. “I’ll be here for you every step of the way. If you need me to wait, I’ll wait.”

           Kate swallowed and felt her eyes prick with tears. When was the last time she had a home? She had lived in so many places but never called any of them home. Tommy was offering her something so valuable. A home.

           She leaned down to kiss him softly. It was still a feeling to get used to, but they had time. Tommy would make sure of that.

~~~~~~~~~

           Early one morning, four nooses were put over four necks. But each person walked away alive.

           It all occurred before Kate had even woken up. She found the bed empty beside her. She would’ve questioned if Tommy had even slept if it weren’t for the disheveled sheets next to her.

           She got up and dressed, donning one of the new skirts and blouses she’d gotten a few days earlier.

           “Miss Lynch, would you like some breakfast?” One of the maids asked as Kate came downstairs.

           “Maybe just some coffee, thank you.” It was one thing she knew would take some time to get used to. Having people always at the ready to help her with virtually anything was somewhat off-putting. Her entire life, Kate did everything herself. Even at a young age, she had to learn to take care of herself. But she figured it would be something to get used to because she wanted so desperately to make a home with Tommy.

           “Of course, ma’am.”

           “Is Tommy in?”

           “Mr. Shelby went out to the stables. He didn’t say if he was going for a ride or not.”

           “That’s alright, thank you,” Kate said and found herself going outside to see if she could find him. The lawns were expansive and she couldn’t even see where the property ended from the back door. She followed the path back to the stables and greeted a few of the young men working around the stables.

           It had been some time since Kate had been around horses. She did ride often but attended many races and at one point even owned a racehorse. So, the scent of the stables was familiar and a bit calming to her.

           “Tom?” She peered into the nearest stalls to see if he was around.    

           “I thought you were going to sleep through the entire morning.”

           She smiled when she heard his voice from the third stall from the door.

           It was endearing to see Tommy around horses. He was dressed down from the three-piece suits he was so fond of. Instead opting for an old button-down shirt and trousers that were from his time as a younger man back in Birmingham. His suspenders were lax by his hips and his dark hair was hidden by his flat cap.

           It was Tommy at his simplest form and Kate felt so blessed to see such a vulnerable side to him.

           “It’s been a while since I got a good night’s sleep.” She leaned by the stall door.

           The large black horse that Tommy was grooming stretched out his neck to greet Kate. She held out her hand to let him sniff her before stroking his nose gently.

           “Well, I’m glad you got some sleep here.” It was encouraging to know Kate was already settling into living at Arrow House.

           “I didn’t even hear you get up this morning. Were you off early?” She asked.

           “Yeah.” He hunched over to pick the horse’s front hoof. “Sorry, I didn’t leave you a note but I figured I’d be back before you woke up.”

           “Were you out doing business?” She wondered.

           “Yep.” He let go of the horse’s hoof and patted his shoulder. “Polly, John, Arthur, and Michael all walked free.”

           A wave of relief washed over Kate. “That’s good news. I should go see them I’ve missed them.”

           Tommy looked down, rummaging through the brush box on the floor of the stall. “They might talk to you, but they informed me I wasn’t welcome around them or their families anymore.” He replied. His voice was steady as usual but he sounded grimly disappointed. Perhaps with himself, but she wasn’t positive.

           “Because of what happened?” Kate didn’t want to be the person to say it was warranted. She felt slightly removed from the situation because she’d been gone for months.

           Tommy nodded; his eyes still downcast. “Maybe you could call Ada to see if they’d be willing to see you. She’s been acting as the buffer between us.” He explained.

           “Oh.” Kate hoped the Shelby woman would have some more insight and maybe speak a little more on the matter. She’d never been afraid to call out Tommy when it was necessary.

           “I saw you still have your ballet shoes.” He quickly pivoted the conversation away from his family.

           “Yes, they were the only thing I took from his apartment when I left.”

           “Do you still have interest in joining a company?” He wondered. “There’s an independent group I’ve been donating some money to.”

           “I think right now I’d like to just settle in.” Irrational worries arose. Worries that Tommy would keep her separate from Shelby Company Limited perhaps to protect her or to protect himself. After all, the last time he trusted a woman he loved, it interfered with business. But Kate knew that she had a strong presence in his company, especially regarding Alfie and goods going into America. She doubted he would push her out of that operation, she was too good at it. But perhaps after what happened with Polly and the boys, he wanted her to look the other way so it wouldn’t cause doubt in her mind. He didn’t want his actions to affect their relationship. But that wasn’t how Kate lived.

           “The ballroom is probably the biggest open space in the house.” He said. “If you want to clear out a bit more furniture so you could practice, just say the word.”

           The worries faded from Kate’s mind. He just wanted her to be happy. He remembered what she had said all the way back to the first time they met. When she longed to resume the dream, she lost. Now he was trying to grant that wish. But after everything, Kate wondered if she really could return to that life. It remained to be seen.

           “Kate?” Tommy realized the faraway look in her eyes. “I’m sorry you had to come back to this.”

           Instinct told her to give a fake smile and brush it off. But she valued the newfound honesty between each other. “I’ve been beginning to figure out that things happen for a reason. If you thought this would protect everyone, then how can I blame you? But you can’t expect them to forgive you so soon. You’ll have to mend those relationships with them.”

           Tommy looked disgruntled at the idea. After all he’d done for his family, he thought they would understand. “If they don’t want my apologies then that’s fine. They’re free to do as they wish with the money, I gave them.” He went back to picking his horse’s hooves.

           “Tom, please don’t shut them out because they’re not ready to forgive you immediately.” She begged. “You know how precious having family is, don’t waste it.”

           “They’re the ones holding a grudge, Kate.”

           “Because they feel betrayed.” She unlatched the stall door and stepped inside. “Can’t you see it from their point of view? They feel as though they were used as pawns. You said they didn’t know the plan so they probably thought they would be hanged.”

           He let the horse set his hoof back down and he straightened up to face her. “Everything I’ve done for this bloody family has been done in their favor. If they want to pretend, they don’t need me, then fine.”

           “But you need them.” She reached up to rub a bit of dirt off his cheek. Her thumb passed over the scar. The one she had tended to in the boat headed for London. It felt like lifetimes ago. “Please, try to work on it.” She implored. “For their sakes, for my sake, for your sake.”

           Tommy didn’t promise anything but he kissed her forehead and embraced her. She was definitely the voice of reason in the madhouse of his mind.  

Permanent Tag: @papa-geralt-of-cirilla @giftofdreams @biba3434 @kimmietea @karmezii @enrapturedbythemoon @vampgirl1997 @tarafaithe

Tag list: @radical-gecko @actorinfluence @meltingicequeen @merlettina

Masterpost

PB Masterlist

[calliecat93]

Well guys, we made it. We made it to the end. The ride to this point has been utterly insane. Political corruption, Amity Arena, thirsty moms, the uncertainty of who to trust at every corner. November feels like a long time ago now, but alas here we are. To say that last week was a shock would be an understatement. It set the stage though, cause while IDK how this is gonna end, I don’t expect it to be happy. Am I right? Only one way to find out. For the final time this volume, let’s do this.

Overview

It’s JNR+Oscar vs Neo, and she’s so far able to hold her own against them. But she is still outnumbered four to one, so she uses an illusion to escape. Before the four can truly ponder on it, the Atlesian guards come after them, forcing them to flee. Meanwhile, Cinder is fighting Winter and Penny and having no trouble, though her anger is slowly growing. She outright says to Winter that, like everyone else in Atlas, they try to expand their power but it just makes those wanting it as well hungrier. And Cinder refuses to starve. It eventually leads to Cinder charging them all through a wall and out of the building, though they each save themselves form following to their death (Cinder via Maiden magic, Penny with her boosters, Winter by Summoning) and the fight continues on. Unfortunately, Cinder is able to break both Winter’s Summon and her Aura, forcing Penny to let Cinder go back into the building to save her. Winter protests, saying that her life isn’t worth it, but Penny disagrees.

JNR and Oscar continue to flee from the guards, but Oscar can’t keep up and ends up losing the other. He seems to be saved by Nora… except not. It’s Neo in disguise, and she’s now got the Lamp. Oscar runs with Jaune finding him, but Neo gets past him. Ren tries to stop her… but when he gets close and sees her as Nora looking sad, he hesitates. As such, Neo gets past him. The three boys run into more guards, forcing them to flee once more. The real Nora catches back up… and notices a visibly distressed and tearful Ren. Neo, now disguised as an Atlesian officer, walks away with the Lamp now in her possession.

If that weren’t bad enough, Cinder has pried open the Aura Transfer Pod and Fria is now awake. The poor old woman doesn’t understand what’s going on or even really remember why she’s been waiting in the facility. Cinder gets her Grimm Arm ready to kill Fria… but Fria grabs her arm. She remembers that she has a job to do, and thus activates the full Maiden power. It causes a massive explosion of magical snow and ice that is so cold, Cinder has to back away from it. Penny and Winter see this as the power explodes through the rooftop. Winter realizes what’s happening, but she too can’t get through because of the cold. Penny, however? She jumps through the hole and into the storm, leaving a shocked Winter behind.

JNR and Oscar are hiding in the training room, the latter feeling guilty for losing the Lamp. Jaune tells him it’s okay, but Ren is much more stressed. He feels that they weren’t ready to become Huntsmen and freaks out about how the enemies have the Relic while they’re failing, forcing Jaune to tell him to calm down. Fortunately, our heroes finally get a breather as Pietro has restored the Comms. He, Maria, Blake, and Yang are commandeering a ship and plan to come and get JNR. Which is good since the guards just found them. One problem though, at some point during this, Oscar left. He comms JNR to tell them that he can’t go with them, having something that he needs to do alone. He doesn’t explain what or why, just running through the Academy corridors. 

Penny gets back into Fria’s room, even as the ice tries to freeze her leg. She approaches Fria, who seems to be in some kind of trance state, and asks her if she’s okay. Fria notices, remembering that she is meant to protect the Maiden powers until she was ready. She seems to realize that it’s time, and is ready to tell James this. Penny points out what’ll happen, but Fria despite her fading memories is fully aware of this. The storm dies down and Fria collapses, Penny catching her. Fria asks her if she is ‘the one’, and the Protector of Mantle is unsure of how to answer.

In the Vault, Ironwood hears someone entering. He assumes it’s Winter and starts to apologize for what he made her do… but he turns and sees Oscar. While he is holding the cane in an Oz-like manner, this is infact Oscar as he tries to convince Ironwood to stop and repair the damage. Oscar wants to restore the trust, even though at this point even James notes that he doesn’t trust himself. He asks if Oscar is going to fight him, but the farmboy refuses, having the cane just because it helps comfort him when afraid. Though it’s likely due to Oz. He puts it away, trying to reason with James… but once he mentions this, James snaps. He feels that he was right and when he let his guard down, ti cost him. Oscar tries to point out everything wrong that he is doing by doign Mantle… but it all falls on deaf ears. 

James continues to go off about how people like Robyn and the Council, those he deems unable to look at the larger picture, are in his way… and that includes the person standing before him. Does he mean Oscar? Oz? Or both? You decide. When Oscar, at this point backed to the edge, says “Then you’re as dangerous as she is James”, the man in question points out that his friends call him by his first name… and coldly says that Oscar can refer to him as general. Without any hesitation or emotion, Ironwood draws and fires his gun right at Oscar. This not only breaks his Aura but knocks him over the edge. Ironwood merely watches the boy fall into the chasm below, doing nothing nor expressing anything at all.

Back at the facility, Cinder tries to attack once more, but Winter re-enters and slices off Cinder’s Grimm arm. She is screaming in pure agony as the arm grows back, which gives Winter time to see Penny with Fria and realize not only is Fria about to die, but her chance of getting the Maiden powers is slipping. But Cinder, arm grown back, launches a violent, rage-filled onslaught onto Winter. Penny stays by Fria, wordlessly comforting her as the elderly woman peacefully dies. But it looks like she’s chosen who her Maiden power will go to...a s the blue energy begins to transfer form her to Penny. Cinder realizes this too late as the familiar eye mask ignites vis Penny’s eyes. Yes, my friends, Penny Polendina is our new Winter Maiden.

Oscar continues to fall, the cane alongside him and his expression is almost blank. It seems like he’s given up and he starts to close his eyes… until a familiar voice echoes in his mind. His eyes flare green and this seems to reignite his will to go on as he reaches for the cane. At the same time, Ruby and Weiss finally arrive at the facility and see a battered Winter. Weiss is concerned, but the second that Ruby sees Cinder, she wastes no time. Her Silver Eyes activate just as Oscar grabs the cane, a green glow emitting from it. He presses the cane forward, blasting apart the bottom of the chasm and plunging him out of Atlas and into the open sky,

Throughout these next few moments as Oscar falls, we get a monologue from Ozpin. About how the one constant of every living thing in this world is fear. How we fear so many things. Failure. Loss. Growing close to someone. And of course, what those fears will manifest into. But it isn’t fear itself that is the issue, it is what we do in the face of it. Who we will become once we are stuck with it. What kind of person will we become? Will we be proud of that person? Can we forgive them? Do we even recognize that person as ourselves? Or do we end up becoming the very same thing that we feared all along?

“I supposed we all find out, sooner or later”

Cinder escapes, enraged at her failures once again. Neo gives her the Lamp though, which helps her calm down, though Neo is still as un-thrilled as ever. Maria, Pietro, and the Bees pick up JNR and head to pick up the others. Weiss rushes to Winter, who demands to know what she did to become wanted. She tells them to stand down and comply to the General… but a clearly broken up Weiss tells her that they can’t. Therefore, Winter tells them to go. Weiss refuses to leave her, but Winter says she’s giving them a head start as she calls for both medical and reinforcements. Weiss realizes what this means… and she, Ruby, and Penny get on the jet. Penny is understandably conflicted by what happened, but Ruby and Weiss comfort her and her father is also close by. We also get a short, but beautifully somber ballad called Until the End that was not only sung by Casey, but also her first song as the songwriter. Beautiful.

Our heroes escape, but not all is well. Qrow and Robyn are arrested and taken back to Atlas, the latter now having Clover’s bloodied badge. We also find out that Watts is alive, though incarcerated, but he sees something outside that makes him smirk evilly. Oscar is able to create a kind of energy bubble that breaks his fall and land safely but he is now all alone… well, almost. Ozpin is back now and Oscar knows that he saved him… but Oz counters this. It was Oscar who saved /them/. Oz begins to say something, but Oscar cuts him off. Right now, all he wants to know is how they can save Atlas now. As our heroes flee from the Kingdom, a direct parallel to when they first arrived back in the beginning, reports come in of some kind of enemy approach. One like nothing that they have seen before. In the sky, dark clouds emerge as what looks like a giant Grimm Whale emerges from them. That can only mean one thing. The chapter, and with it Volume 7, ends with the arrival of the Wicked Witch, and she is ready to unleash her wrath.

Review

Oh Lord… this was… something…

There is so much to go over, so let’s get on with it. First is the Maiden stuff. I think we all knew that neither Winter nor Cinder would get the power, but I’m glad that Penny did. I predicted it a week ago, but I’m certianly happy to see it come true. And honestly? She’s earned it. Unlike anyone else in Ironwood’s lot, Penny followed her heart. She valued feelings and emotions, even if she was still learning the concept. She could have followed Ironwood’s orders, but she didn’t. She could have killed Fria to stop her power, but she didn’t. She simply went up to her and talked to her, asking her if she’s okay. Like a compassionate human being. She allowed Fria to have a peaceful death. A death that she accepted herself, and due to ti, rewarded Penny with her power. Penny got her own Blue Fairy, and has now been proven to be a Real Girl. It is the perfect way to conclude her character arc this season, and I am so happy about it.

But it, of course, comes at a cost. Winter doesn’t get it, and unfortunately, she stays by Ironwood. It’s clearly not a choice that she’s making lightly. As I’ve said so many times, she feels that she owes Ironwood and the military. She feels like the General is trying to dow hat’s right, despite her heart telling her otherwise. We even see here, with her constant worry for Penny and ultimately giving Weiss the chance to escape, that she isn’t heartless. Winter still has hope, and er not getting the powers is probably the best thing for her. She didn’t get the destiny she was groomed for, and hopefully, this will allow her to look at the bigger picture and begin carving her own destiny. But t won’t be right now. It hurts her. When she tells Weiss that she’s giving her a head start, she sounds on the verge of tears. But nevertheless, she won’t turn on Atlas. On James. So for now, she and her sister and now enemies, and they both know it. But hopefully, this will only be temporary.

Upside though, the fight with her, Penny, and Cinder was excellent. It’s been V3 since we saw Winter fight, and while she got beat up pretty hard, she managed to hold her own against Cinder. The fight was excellent, especially when it went into the air. Probably one of, if not /the/ best fight of the volume. Neo vs JNR and Oscar was also good. Neo knew that she was outnumbered, and resorted to using trickery and craftiness just as her mentor would. As such, she got out without a scratch and with the Lamp. But JNR definitely managed to put up a fight and it was a really fun watch. I do worry about Ren though. He was horrified when he nearly harmed Neo while she looked like Nora and the recent events have him frustrated and worn down. I’m pretty sure he’ll stick by the heroes’ side, but with how much more closed off he’s been becoming, I worry if this will make him worse. We can only hope that Nora and Jaune can pull him back if that’s the case.

Then we have Cinder. I expected her to not be happy by the end, but… man, she went Azula-esque insane here. I think it’s becoming more and more clear why. Whatever happened in the past, it made CInder desire power. She doesn’t want to starve. Considering her inspiration of Cinderella, I have a pretty good idea of what likely happened. But even so, Cinder again fails. She’s so obsessed with power, she won’t grow what she has or realize what got her the Fall power, to begin with. It wasn’t because she overpowered Amber, it was because she had Emerald and Mercury there aiding her. But she feels that she’s powerful enough on ehr own now, but she keeps being proven wrong. She’s failed twice now, and with each failure, her rage grows more and more. Not to mention once again, Ruby came in unexpectedly and like before, ruined her chances by forcing her to flee to not get Silver Eyes blasted. Which seeing Ruby use it with zero hesitation just from seeing Cinder? Perfection. Due to it, Cinder lost her biggest chance at getting more power, though she does have the Relic. That’ll likely get her back into Salem’s favor, but I worry for Penny int he future since Cinder knows that she has it…

But it emphasizes the thing about Cinder. She is desperate for power. Even though she has a great deal already, she wants more and more. No matter what she has to do to get it, or who she has to slay. This is going to be her undoing one day. There’s been some talk about Cinder being redeemed… but I don’t see it. Cinder has taken immense pleasure in killing people, ruining people’s lives, and even jut injuring people like Weiss in V5 out of pure spite. She’s pretty much… well, Adam. She uses and abuses people to get what he wants, she takes pleasure in harming others even if they did nothing to her, she is obsessed with power, and most of all she has zero remorse for any of this. She wants power, and that’s all the justifications he needs. She’s done too much to earn redemption, especially considering what Adam and even Tyrian have done. I just don’t see her doing so. At most, she may turn on Salem, but it ain’t gonna be out of remorse. This chapter confirms for me that there is absolutely more to Cinder’s quest for power than just wanting it for itself… but that will only explain it, not justify it. If anything, with two failures under her belt, I only see her becoming much, much worse…

But now we come to the big thing.

Oscar tries to appeal to Ironwood but it fails. It is here that Ironwood goes from a good man making all the wrong choices to true villainy. Despite what he may claim, fear has absolutely taken control of him. Everything he is doing is out of fear of Salem winning. Sacrificing Mantle? Trying to raise Atlas? Sacrificing Fria and grooming Winter to do it? Trying to arrest a bunch of kids who tried to reason with him? All of it is because he is afraid, and that fear has shaped him into the very thing he feared all along. He has become like Salem. The moment that proves this? Him shooting Oscar. He shoots a teenaged boy who did nothing to him and only tried to help him. Why? Because he didn’t want to even consider that he may be wrong anymore, Oscar tried to help him. RWBY trie to help him. Even Ozpin, back in Volumes 2 and 3, tried to help him. Even Glynda talked to him! And every single time, Ironwood ignored it. He refused the help or the one time he did he snapped all because of a chess piece.

James was a good man, but he kept failing. He refused to listen, outright overthrew people if he didn’t like what they said even when it wasn’t his kingdom (hi end of V2!), and continued to fail. This is the final step in his fall from grace. No longer is he the good man who despite his missteps has the best of intentions. Even though he knows that he’s causing hundreds of deaths, he’s too lost in his paranoia and fear to care. He not only shot a teenaged boy with zero hesitation but in his mind, shot the man who refused to listen to him from the start. The same person who, in his mind, allowed this all to happen. Despite Oz’s lies, he /did/ honestly try to reason with Ironwood so many times, and again, Ironwood didn’t listen. The only person to blame for his position is himself, but he won’t’ admit it. His hopes are shattered, and they can’t be mended any more. The James Ironwood we met in Volume 2 is dead, now replaced with a heartless tin soldier.

Indeed, the ending is bleak. Our heroes escaped, but they’re still wanted by the Atlesian military. Penny got the Maiden powers, but it paints a target on her back form all sides and Fria still died. Winter survived, but she stands by Ironwood and thus lets go of Weiss. Oscar awakened his powers, but he’s separated from everyone. Qrow and Robyn have been arrested, meaning RWBYJNR lost one of their best fighters and Ruby and Yang their uncle, and Mantle lost its hero and the Happy Huntresses’ their leader. Atlas doesn’t get raised, but James is as enraged as ever and he still condemned Mantle to die. But worse of all, Salem has arrived. She not only has the giant Whale Grimm, but her massive army of Flying Monkeys. The military is likely unprepared, Mantle is defenseless, and Salem looks more than ready to unleash her wrath. Things… do not look good, folks.

I think the thing that best describes this chapter, and the volume as a whole, is the credits song Fear. Which first, another amazing song! But the song talks about the same things as Oz’s monologue. About how we all feel fear, and do so for various reasons. But it’s what we do in its wake that matters. James gave into the fear and ended up becoming the exact thing that he fought against. If he realizes it like is implied, he’s past the point of caring anymore. As I said, he’s no longer the same man we met. But in contrast, look at Ozpin. He’s lived in fear even longer, and it cost him so much. Volume 6 alone demonstrates this. But it seems like he may have realized it now. He knows what fear can do to someone. What it can turn one into. He’s been there, and he hated the person that he saw. It turned him into someone so different he didn’t even go by Ozma anymore. Due to it, he quit trusting others, and in turn, the heroes no longer trusted him. But has he learned now? It’s hard to say, but he is correct that at some point, sooner or later, we find out what fear turns us into.

The finale did its job of wrapping things up while leaving things open for the next volume, and did so excellent;y. It wrapped up all the remaining major plot threads, but left a couple open and opened plenty of new ones. It was animated very well. It had so many different emotions and the monologue from Oz was absolutely perfect. The only real bummer is that we didn’t get a stinger for the first time but honestly? It didn’t really need one. I think it ended exactly where it needed to, as mean as that ending is. In the end, I felt… no happy or even sad. I guess the word is somber. I think that may be the perfect way to describe this volume and where it lead us to as a whole, somber.

Volume Eight Predictions

It’s going to be outright war.

So we have Salem invading, but IDT she’ll unleash all the forces immediately. She’s gonna be smart about this. With the Lamp, Cinder will be able to get back in her good graces I feel, though if Emerald and Mercury are there IDK how they’ll feel about Neo. Emerald especially. James is not only going to want to face Salem for obvious reasons, but he’s going to want RWBYJNRO for both the Maiden and for screwing his plans over as massively as they did. IDK what the heroes are gonna do, though my guess is they’ll flee to Mantle since they’re the most vulnerable and since Atlas won’t save them, they will. But it won’t be easy. The city is without heating still, and at this point, the people are likely broken. Hopefully, they can fix this and resolve any of their own issues like Ren’s problems and any issues that these events will cause amongst themselves. Oscar will likely catch back up with the others very quickly, but who knows?

Any specifics? Well, we have Penny with the Maiden powers, so that could result in who knows what. We have O back and while I think that Oscar is willing to listen to him and accept his help, the others… ehh. Very least, I don’t see either Yang nor Jaune immediately accepting him back. Ruby I cans ee still having her issues, but she’s always but what’s best for others over anything else, so I think she’ll at least listen. Everyone else is right down the middle. Not to mention with Qrow gone, the kids are pretty much on their own now, and considering none of them have been in a war, they’re… not gonna have an easy time. We all thought this volume was rough? IIRC, CRWBY described this as Part One. Up next is Part Two, and all I can say for certain is it’s gonna be wild.

Episode Stats

Favorite Character: Penny Polendina and Oscar Pine Favorite Scene: All the scenes during Ozpin’s monologue Least Favorite Scene: None. It was all fantastic Favorite Voice Actor: Shannon McCormick (Ozpin) Favorite Animation: Oscar falling through the sky Rating: 10/10

Final Thoughts

I loved this chapter. IDK where it ranks among other finales, but it was still amazing. The emotions were so well conveyed and despite the cliffhanger ending, it wrapped up all that it needed to perfectly. This entire volume has been one heck of ride, and this was the cherry on top. I was greatly satisfied with the ending, and it was another amazing chapter to another amazing volume of RWBY. So Volume Eight? Bring it on.

And… that’s it, guys. I only have one more RWBY related review to do until V8, and that’s the full Volume Seven review. Though to be fair I am splitting it into two parts cause there is a loooot to cover. But as far as Episode Reviews go, that’s it until RvB18 starts. I’m kind of glad cause boy do I need a breather. But thank you, everyone, who has read this and my previous reviews, and I hope that you’ll stick around for the Volume 7 review. I’ll see you then~!

[kpopandcream]

Palette - II

Pairing: ReaderxSehun

Genre: Angst / Fluff

Warnings: Mentions of Self Harm, Dark Themes.

He was the beginning of spring and you were the end of fall and he went forward while you went back, meeting somewhere in the middle. It was odd, feeling so akin to someone you hardly knew, but it was the colour of his hair that begged you to put him down on paper and carve his name into your heart.

Word Count: 9.0K

Part Masterlist:

Despite being rather eccentric, Sehun did live up to his promise. He managed to pick up the kids when you were late coming from work. He would even swing by with them hanging off him like he was a tree and a big smile on his lips. Baekhyun gave you a side glance every time though, not understanding but not saying a word. Yeo-reum loved it though, giving the kids free food when they stopped by and occasionally candy. It was sweet and you somehow found yourself looking forward to babysitting the kids. There were hardly any free days which meant all too many days spent with Sehun.  The only upside was that you could bring your equipment some days when you were outside and you could put something together.

“What’s this one?” Sehun asked, waiting in your room while you put a bandaid on your cheek using the mirror in your bathroom. He held it up behind you so you could see from the mirror and you blinked, a sort of disappointment reaching your face. It was an older painting and it held no talent but you kept it to remind you of how you’d grown.

“It’s of the lake,” you informed, paying close attention to yourself in the mirror as you spoke, “I painted it in grade school.”

Sehun sounded to let you know he heard you before returning to his usual silence. He wasn’t the loudest, not even with the kids. He preferred saying less, or saying nothing at all and letting them think he was teasing them. They could heckle him for hours and he wouldn’t budge, not saying a word. It was funny on one hand, seeing them tire out because of it but, on the other hand, you sometimes found yourself wanting to hear his voice. You wanted to hear the way he’d tease them or make silly jokes, or prompt tiny arguments between the two about yogurt or what colour their favourite superhero’s cape was. Both were touchy subjects and both arguments had happened before but they were still funny to watch until they got out of hand and scratched you when you tried to pull them apart.

“I’m still sorry about that,” Sehun said, bashful and not looking at you directly. You simply raised your eyebrows at him, glad that he admitted he was in the wrong for letting them get so physical.

“That’s okay,” you hummed, grabbing your bag and starting on your way down the steps. He was right behind you, like always, and his mouth worked faster than before.

“You know, I had a question to ask.” It was an odd phrase but he didn’t make a move to keep going. It was only when you looked at him from halfway inside the kitchen, going to get the boys’ snacks that he seemed to get the hint and keep going.

“O-oh. Right. Well, I was just thinking that since you couldn’t come to that dinner with your families that maybe we could try again or something?”

The proposal hung in the air behind you, your back to him as you placed small bars into your bag as well as some fruits. Your hands shook and you were unsure why, not understanding the reasoning behind your lightheadedness. He wasn’t doing anything different than usual but still, you held out hope for his upcoming words.

Realizing you hadn’t said anything, you managed, “I’ll let you know when we’re all free?”

There was silence, your eyes focused on your slow movements now, trying to avoid facing him. He had a way of stripping down defenses and making you weak in the knees just by looking at you. He’d always been quite telling of why he wanted to spend time with you, though never saying anything to you. It was in the way he held doors open for you or carried your supplies when your canvas was heavy. It was in the way he smiled when you attempted to make a joke or when he shared his umbrella with you when it rained. It was in the way he offered to help out with the kids without taking any of the pay.

His unsaid thoughts were in every action and every phrase but you never felt the gravity of them until now. Until he murmured quite awkwardly, “uh, no, it’s- I kind of just meant us two, outside of the job and stuff.”

Every fibre within you vibrated at the staccato phrase, lips parting for a moment before mechanically pressing back together. Stiffly, you turned to face him but nothing specific came out. No shadow of a yes left your lips though your insides screamed, wanting to be set free. There was an oppressive feeling on your chest and the whispers of the outside and they seeped into your brain. They stopped your thoughts like black sludge filling holes and the part of you that tried to accept the offer was stopped. The sludge solidified, locking them up in your head while the picture perfect you stayed silent. The beat was all too long and Sehun’s face dropped before picking up again with an innocent smile. His hand reached to rub the back of his neck, stretching and trying to avert your attention from the disappointment in his body.

“That’s okay, it was kind of a stupid question, I guess,” he said, dismissing it and trying to seem carefree about it. To distract himself, he looked at the time on his watch, saying the two of you were late and that you best be on your way. He walked out ahead of you, saying he’d wait and closing the door behind him lightly.

You exhaled heavily, eyelids fluttering and chest heaving. Holding back a frustrated scream, you rubbed your hands over your face, trying to wash away your embarrassment. Why couldn’t you say anything? Why did you just stand there and stare at him? You must’ve looked like a blowfish with nothing to say. Annoyed, you groaned and threw the last bar inside your bag, hoping somehow that would help. It didn’t but it was worth a try and you hurried after Sehun, not wanting to be late.

It was fair to say the two of you didn’t speak much for the rest of the day. You took to the kids at the park while he watched on. It was only when the sun was setting and the two boys had a few friends on the playgrounds with more attentive moms than you that you took your spot next to Sehun on the wooden bench. Your back was straight and lips were zipped, uncomfortable as you sat on the edge of the chair. Sehun was relaxed, showing nothing through his furrowed eyebrows and narrowed eyes. He was facing the sun and had forgotten his hat again so he was squinting to watch the kids. Slowly, you unfastened the strap on yours and handed it over to him, hoping he’d take it as a peace offering.

When his fingers formed around the grey material, you murmured, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he whispered, forming the hat around his head before tightening it. You watched as the designs crinkled and then straightened as he moved his head. Somehow, looking around his was easier than looking at him and you stuck to this routine. He did so as well, avoiding your gaze and keeping his knees a fair distance from yours.

Biting down on your lip, you wondered how to go about explaining yourself. You wanted to, you really did, but there were words and then there was putting them together and that process never seemed to work out very well. Slowly, fingers fidgeting and not knowing where to go, you managed, “it’s not that I don’t want to. I do.”

He seemed to swallow the statement, expression unchanging and it was so hard to talk to someone like this. He didn’t fit any mould, being sweet and playful one moment and then cold and distant the next. There was no consistency, though he wasn’t ever rude. You supposed that was consistency. Chewing on the silence, you sat there and kept your eyes on the playground. Inguk was being chased around in circles, laughing at the top of his lungs. It filled the air for the moment Sehun stayed silent.

“Okay,” he began, feeling like there was more to say but leaving you hanging. Your teeth were biting into your cheek and you could feel the summer heat starting to fade as night took over. Soon, the sun would set and you’d drop the kids off and that would be it. He’d walk you to your door, say goodnight, and the same chilled day would repeat again. You didn’t know if you could stand not being able to talk to him like usual, or not talk and have it feel natural. So, you let go of your cheek and sighed.

“It’s just that I’m afraid of what people will say if they see us together,” you admitted. You two were seen together often, yes, but the kids were there. It was an understood mutual partnership. Outside of that, it would seem like so much more. People would whisper. Your parents would know. You’d hate it and you’d want to escape, to hide from eyes that bore into you already like you didn’t belong.

“Really?” His voice was sharp, finally turning to face you. Unsure of his tone, you didn’t say anything back, waiting for his cutting words. “Why are you so caught up in what people think of you? First, it’s that you shouldn’t be a painter. Then it’s ‘what if they find out you’re working for no pay, Sehun?’. Now it’s ‘what’ll they say if we go on a date, Sehun?’.”

His eyes were scrutinizing, trying to understand something he couldn’t- something you wouldn’t allow him to see. Your knees bumped into each others without meaning to, his control slowly slipping as he muttered, “come on, y/n.”

“What do you want me to say?” you asked, trying to mimic the ice in his tone but knowing it didn’t come out that way at all. You had crossed your arms though, hoping it would create some sort of barrier. Sehun didn’t budge from his spot but he did turn more to see you, arm coming to the back of the bench and resting there comfortably.

“I want you to give me a real reason as to why you don’t want to go out with me.”

“I never said I didn’t want to,” you said, quiet but forceful enough to make a point. Sehun searched for your eyes, finding them when you turned your head. By force, you made your face straight and tried to hide your inner frustration, feeling just as upset with yourself for caring what other people think.

“I know,” he sighed, genuinely tired and you could see the bags under his eyes from this close. You wanted to ask how he was doing, if he was sleeping enough, but it wasn’t your place so you stopped yourself. Pulling in your bottom lip, you looked back down at your shoes and stayed silent.

“Do you mind if I head home early?” he asked, voice low and hidden. You shook your head and, with that, he got up from his spot and the warmth of his leg pressed against yours was gone. He placed the grey hat on your head without any force, letting it rest there and bidding you a good night. His dark jeans drifted away and you lifted your head to watch him walk to say goodbye to the boys before turning to go home. The world stilled, wind blowing slowly and breaths taken in parts. His departure took all the life and movement from the world and nothing seemed to matter all too significantly unless it was a responsibility you had to care for- and even then.

“Nana y/n,” Kihyun whined, running up to you with Inguk in step. They both had grass in their hair and dirt on their faces and you sighed, rubbing it out while he spoke. “We’re tired now. Can we go for dinner?”

Inguk nodded and you followed suit, pushing a smile for them. The light from the sun was just above the treetops and the wind swept through the air. Looking at the sky reminded you of Sehun’s hair so you avoided it, helping the two boys put on their windbreakers and taking them to the diner. Shouldering your backpack, you asked them what they wanted and felt their tiny hands slip into yours by habit. They both shrugged, murmuring different things and taking your mind to a place where you didn’t have to worry about what you said or when you said it.

With these kids, you could be yourself and you loved it because people just assumed you were doing it for the boys; but you were really doing it for yourself. You let go of every feeling you could with them, pretending they were airplanes or drawing them as superheroes when they grabbed the towels from the closet and played superhero. It was easy to let go and understand things from a simplistic point of view, where complicated emotions and situations didn’t get in the way. It was just you, bare and open. Deep down, you envied the lives these children had, listening to them babble. Though, the reality was you envied any life that wasn’t riddled with problems and side glances and whispers on the street.

You envied Baekhyun for loving himself properly. You envied the plans he made to leave this place and the lazy smile that creeped on his lips when you both lie side by side on your roof to watch the stars. You envied Heeji for her ability to live her life without the suffocation of parents or responsibility. You envied the youth in her face and how nothing ever seemed to get to her. You envied Grandma Oh even, whose voice was enough to pierce millions and cause so much love. You envied Sehun the most, his person so strong that he still kept his head high despite the degrading words people say about him no matter where he goes. You envied his ability to relish in being an outcast because all you wanted was to fit in somewhere but you couldn't. You were just like him: out of place and odd, like rippled water in a still river. You didn’t make sense and neither did he and maybe that was the source of all your frustration. He couldn’t care less and you cared all too much.

Most of your night was spent thinking about this, especially after coming home and packing for your train ride into the city. Your thoughts wandered like strangers in streets, nowhere to go and nothing to do. They loitered and disappeared and came back for another swing. Even as you rubbed cream into your face, hoping your skin could mimic Heeji’s, there they were. They pressed against your eyes and stuck to your skin like the sweat that lingered there.

Groaning, you exhaled and leaned forward. Looking at yourself in the mirror was a pathetic sight, eyes tracing over bumps and shoulder and cheekbones that held nothing but steel. You were chilled to the bone, your own world locked inside a glass box that contained a fire. It licked and licked, begging to be let out. You didn’t know how to do it, feeling tears spark at the ends of your eyes out of frustration. Even alone, you couldn’t just be yourself anymore. Everything pressed in on you, the sound of your family past the doors and the little laughs outside. You choked down the sobs, not wanting to be heard or let it out. You hated feeling this way- torn down and weak and stupidly emotional. Everyone pressed you down but you pressed yourself down the most and you knew this. The only thing was, how could you fix that in a place like this?

Composing yourself, you clenched your jaw and hardened slightly more. You couldn’t stand being inside, the heat too much to handle just as the lights and your parents were. You threw a long sleeve shirt over your material bra and tank top and slipped on comfortable pants. Grabbing your keys from your desk and the grey hat that rested beside it, you bounded down your stairs.

“Where are you going?” your dad asked, turning slightly and calling over his shoulder from his one-seater sofa. Your mother walked from the kitchen, wiping her hands with a white cloth and looking weary.

You gave her a small kiss on the cheek, going towards your running shoes and slipping them on as quick as possible while saying, “Heeji asked me to pick something up from the store and I completely forgot. Since I’ve got work in the morning, I thought I’d get it now.”

“At nine p.m.?” Your father fully turned to face you now, looking at you past glasses that slipped down his nose. You nodded, shifting uncomfortably in hopes of getting outside.

Under a scrutinizing look, your mother thought clearly and slowly drew out the question, “what are you getting?”

“Drugs, mom,” you scoffed, returning her narrowed eyes with a bored look on your face before continuing, “she just wants some groceries she hasn’t been able to pick up and some stuff for her bathroom. Said she’ll pay me back and everything, don’t worry.”

Your parents reluctantly let you out the door, though nothing could happen to you in this town. Headphones plugged in and blaring, you walked quickly into town and breathed easier. It was still stale outside and you wished you’d brought a fan to save yourself from the heat but the walk was good for you. Seeing the lights and the barren nightlife was enough to get you out of your head and your heart slowed, calm and just. There was enough distraction and it was what you needed, taking as much time as you could in the grocery store.

You strolled, smiling at a few neighbours but not stopping for conversation. The small grocery shop was easy enough to be ignored in and you took pleasure in it, humming to your tunes and staring at a jar of pickles. Heeji didn’t need anything but you couldn’t come back empty handed so you looked for the cheapest things. Paying, you smiled and went through the motions. There was nothing new about this but the time at which you were shopping. Holding the small plastic bag, you drifted to the drug store for some body soap and walked through aisles like you floated, imagining your feet never touched the floor.

And somehow, apricot hair still caught your eyes. There he was, looking at a bottle of painkillers for minor headaches halfway down the aisle, staring so intently it looked as if his brain was about to explode. The sight brought a slight smile to your lips, watching him place a hand on his hips then take it off then put it back again. You were surprised he hadn’t seen you, coyly calling himself a hawk that saw everything. Though, you couldn’t sneak up on him as you might have tried, eyes flicking up to yours before coming back down as you walked towards him. He seemed not to know who you were and you counted down from three before he shot his head up and stared.

Taking a headphone out, you hummed, “hello.”

Blinking slowly, resuming his previous action of reading the label, he repeated the greeting. He tried ignoring you but you simply grabbed a bottle just the same as his and stared at it as well. There didn’t seem to be anything particularly interesting on it, but you stood by his side and looked at your bottle for a solid, silent minute.

“What are we looking for?” you whispered quietly, noticing he was slightly unfocused and holding back your smile. You felt the walls of your veins loosen, like cholesterol was being swept out of your system piece by piece. Sehun grumbled, folding an arm across his chest with furrowed brows.

“I can’t see if this interacts with other medicine.”

Turning the bottle over and over, hearing the slight shift of pills, you set out as well. The label was written illogically but, at the bottom of a large description, you exclaimed and pointed. “There. Doesn’t interact with other medications.”

“Perfect,” he breathed, taking your bottle instead of the one he had in his hand. He looked relieved and you wanted to ask why but zipped your lips together. “Thank you.”

A light shrug came off your shoulders like a peeled layer and you patted his shoulder lightly. The circles under his eyes were bigger and you wanted to say a lack of sleep affected focusing but didn’t want to taunt him. So, you kept quiet and moved to walk away. The goodnight nearly fell off your lips but there he was, bright as a setting sun with words like liquid gold.

“What are you doing here?”

You lifted your bag slightly, muttering something about late night shopping. He nodded, clearly caught between paying and leaving or staying with you. Taking the first step, letting the air conditioning sweep away your problems like it was sweeping away the heat on your skin, you spoke. “Want to wait for me and we can walk home?”

His smile formed slowly, corners of his lips lifting at the offer. Trying not to seem too eager, Sehun cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck, sputtering out an okay and coming up behind you. He followed closely, making meaningless comments on the body soaps and shampoos you picked up as he did so.

“That’s too fruity.”

The light reflected off his hair, making it shine brighter and causing a small chuckle of amusement to bubble in your throat. You didn’t put it down, taking the soap to the cash. You walked backwards to face him as you did so, knowing the store like the back of your hand and musing, “that’s what you said about the other five.”

He shrugged. “It’s the truth.”

You hummed in response, going to pay. Sehun whistled a tune far from the one still streaming through a headphone, buying his little bottle of pills and chatting with the owner. Both looked uncomfortable but continued the pleasantries until you saved them by tugging Sehun away. Your hand was softly on the underside of his upper arm, pulling him away and saying goodnight as you exited; but the night had other plans and suddenly you had linked arms as you walked outside.

There was hardly a word spoken, silence and the slow rolling of tires past you filling everything. You forgot to put more songs up next so the headphone went cold, hanging in your ear like a dud. Your free hand tugged at it, stuffing the whole wire in your pocket as Sehun stared at the sky.

“They’re so clear here,” he stated rather vaguely. You lifted the rim of your hat and raised your head, eyes finding the stars. Your pace slowed as you did so, a quiet hum falling through your lips.

“I stay up and watch them sometimes.” This wasn’t very private information, though no one but Baekhyun knew you climbed on your roof for them. Sehun’s eyebrow quirked up, asking for more information and drawing your eyes from the swirling stars.

You continued, trying desperately to show him that somehow, you wanted to spend time together just as much as he did. Though you were as cold as a desert at night, you still longed for a feeling of love, thinking it the only thing that could save you now. You were beyond loving yourself but perhaps someone could bring you to the point where you could try.

“Stars are part of the reason I paint. They’re kind of like paintings in the sky. They don’t exist anymore and we’re just seeing balls of gas that exploded eons ago. These are just reflections but they never go away. They never move. They’re consistent and immortalized forever in a never changing sky. It’s kind of beautiful and I found myself wanting to do that. I wanted to make something beautiful that could stay forever.”

You saw him chew on the words you were saying, looking at you between hair that had fallen in his eyes. His smile was the slightest bit longer, stretching across rather than up and it showed no teeth.

“You do make paintings that beautiful,” he said, pointedly like he was trying to convince you. You stared right back, not caring he was seeing you barefaced. It as odd, being able to speak to someone candidly. Even Heeji and Baek had to force those words out of you and with him, they flowed like water.

A thank you slipped past your lips and you looked at your barely moving feet. A pebble rolled across the ground, hardly making a sound. There were just your feet, walking in step and you wanted to capture the image. His white shoes were scuffed at the ends and brown from running around with the kids. Yours were a deep gray, fraying where the stitching came together at some points. You both looked like absolute messes, different from the norm here which was prim and proper clothing, the best you could get. Women wore their makeup and men wore their work clothes. There weren’t any leisure pants like the black track pants he had on with stripes down the sides. No one wore their hats at night. Not a soul walked around without a watch. Yet, there you were, a mismatch of imperfections walking in perfect step with each other.

It caused your heart to thump a little faster, hitting your ribcage with a budding urgency- a need for you to pay attention to it. How could you not though, having his body so close to yours? It was the cause of all your internal discourse, the beads of water forming on your palms and forehead being helped by the heat. You could’ve stayed that way forever, you decided. You could’ve walked on and kept walking, past cities and lives, only to hear him talk and have him there. He made you feel a little less odd, though you stood out like black sheep, and you appreciated him for it.

“So where do you watch these stars from?” Sehun held a soft tone, as if anything too loud would burst the bubble you created. You touched shoulders, barely pressed against each other as your hand splayed out to keep itself hooked onto him.

“I’ll show you,” you decided, giving him a light smile.

The two of you climbed onto your roof, throwing your bags in your room through your window. You had him wait for a moment so you could walk through the front door alone and called him up when your parents departed to their bedroom. You relaxed on the tiled roof, a thin blanket you kept for the roof underneath you. Sehun lied down next to you, not touching but just close enough that you could feel the heat radiating off of him. His head was facing upwards and you had to stop yourself from turning to stare at him, lips bitten down by your teeth. He seemed to have a lot on his mind and you couldn’t pretend like your conversation during the day didn’t happen. He was ever so prevalent and you couldn’t let a dumb falling out like that get between you. Despite your pride, you let the apology fall from your mouth like a weighted stone.

“I’m sorry for not being candid about my feelings.”

The formality of your words made you wince, though the corners of his eyes crumpled lightly at the phrase. Clearly he thought it was amusing, though he made no move to make a joke of it and simply hummed, “that’s okay.”

The apology wasn’t enough and you felt it. Staring at the yellow twinkling in against a blackened sky, you bit further down on your lip. Then, slowly, you admitted, “I’d- I’d like to go out- with you, I mean.”

He turned his head, looking right at you with surprise on his slightly parted lips. You didn’t know if he was faking it or not, sure he knew you liked him. You wouldn’t keep him around if you didn’t, though you weren’t sure when exactly you started feeling this way. There wasn’t a doubt that you did though, the quickened pace of your heart when you saw him telling enough.

“What about the people?” He raised his hands, wiggling his fingers as he spoke.

You attempted to shrug, ripping your eyes from the sky and being met with brown eyes that resembled chocolate. You nearly fell into them, trying to ignore the way your voice shifted between tones as you said, “people talk all the time.”

This caused him to smile, dropping his hand so it rested between your bodies. You weren’t unaware of it as he turned his head back to the sky. He was waiting for a move, for you to meet him halfway, and you couldn’t deny it. Your fingers twitched like they did when you wanted to paint, the urge to feel his skin against yours somehow unignorable. Slowly and surely, your pinkies linked together and a light breath went past your lips, like a sigh of relief.

The rest of the night went by slowly, like time stopped; but it was for a different reason than before. Sehun had kept all the life in him and he was giving it back to you, stopping time to fill you in on what you missed. Your heart thumped, letting him entwine your fingers like they were fated to be in each other. You fit into each other like two puzzle pieces in a larger picture. Though, the picture didn’t matter much to you at all. It just mattered that you’d found your counterpart and you were happy enough to lie there on a tiled roof, listening to him breathe and watching the stars swirl past.

It had been more than a week since you and Sehun finalized you were to go out. There were no plans but it was good enough for both of you that you’d confirmed: you were going, no matter what. The end of your summer course was upon you and you only had an exam to write. It was as if the world was playing a cosmic joke, taking away one of the only pieces of freedom you had. It was on an especially stupid date, sometime in the middle of the week, and you hated it completely. You didn’t even want to go but that would mean failing the course and wasting money. So, there you were, babysitting Inguk and Kihyun before needing to board the train to the city.

They were running amok in your house, promising to be good so you could cram in a few more minutes of studying. It wasn’t their ideal but you needed it, plus you’d promised them ice cream if they gave you this free pass. It was an easy enough deal. With a yellow highlighter behind your ear, a pink one in your mouth, and an orange one in hand, you stared hard at your textbook. Nothing particularly made sense with the kids playing in the background, voices rising with the excitement they had. You had to call them multiple times, asking for them to be quieter before they really listened.

When your alarm went off, alerting you it was near lunchtime for them, you found them in your room playing with the old lego you’d set up there. Kihyun was poking at one of your brushes but quickly recoiled from your box when you walked in, looking innocently guilty. You simply announced lunch would be ready soon and told them to follow you, asking for help. Inguk clung to your leg all the way down while Kihyun ran between them to get a head start. He was making a buzzing sound and jogging in circles with a dishcloth tucked into the back of his shirt messily and his arms out when you got to the kitchen.

“I’m faster than Sehun, don’t you think?”

He had his eyebrows furled and arms angled up now, like he was landing whatever plane. Speeding up, he almost knocked into a chair and stumbled before starting up again. You didn’t quite respond but chuckled a bit and let Inguk heckle him, yelling small ‘never!’s at the kid. You started up on whatever you could think of, letting both of them hand you minor things.

“Spoon,” you demanded, holding out a hand lowly. Inguk waddled over with a large ladle and pressed it into his palm.

“Cutting board?” You would test them, raising an eyebrow to see if they knew where it was. Leaning back on the counter, you would wait and watch them pick up a few things before getting it right. Usually the reward was a candy or a taste before the food was fully displayed. Only, today was slightly different.

As you went to get their usual favourite, a soft cookie with chocolate chips in it, you found water in the cupboard. Acting quite like a mother, you followed the water stains and opened many more cupboards to find the leak under the sink. With a curse under your breath, you ran to lower the temperature on the stove before moving the kids out of the kitchen.

“But we haven’t had our snack,” Kihyun protested, pouting and hoping to get his way. You leaned down, holding his small hands with a tight comfort.

Rubbing his arms, you murmured, “how about cake and ice cream when I come back then?”

Both of them immediately said yes, much too excited, and departed into the living room. All you had to do was set up the television and then you could try and figure out what to do. For a moment, you ignored the water but the slow drip of water was bothering you more than it should have and you groaned, dropping your wooden spoon in the pan.

Flicking your eyes over to your phone, you gave into the temptation to call him, and he was here in minutes with a ridiculous tool belt around his waist and a flashlight taped onto his cap. He had stuck a toothpick between his teeth, forming a Southern accent as he spoke.

“What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

Amused but also slightly troubled, you gaped at Sehun for a moment before scoffing, “was that really what you spent your time on?”

Removing a terrible pair of sunglasses over his eyes with slight shock, he murmured, “what, you don’t like it?”

“Just help me, please,” you begged slightly, trying not to affect your voice. You couldn’t let him see how much you needed your help, or rather, wanted his help. You knew plenty of mechanics or plumbers that could come as soon as possible but he was so close. Just a skip across the street.

To be fair, you did just want to see him and having his orange, fading hair in your house instantly made it brighter. With a light smile, he raised his hands with a jingle of his belt and chuckled, “alright, alright, no need to beg.”

Once he set to work, his face hardened and he seemed to focus completely. His eyebrows furled, mouth curling, and he didn’t move his shirt down when it rode up and exposed the bottom of his chest. You tried hard not to look, staring at your food, stirring, opening cupboards and finding spice- anything so you didn’t stare. Though the few glances you gave him, or when he asked for you to help him for a moment: those were enough to make your heart flutter. When his fingers curled around his or when he said your name lowly, like the silence was something he couldn’t break, caused blush to creep up your neck. You felt it so obviously and you were so unsure as to why- why him? Why his smile? Why his voice?

With only the slight sizzling of food and the low television in the background, as well as the chattering of the kids, the house seemed to fill. There was nothing but the smell of a home, where you could feel wrapped in a light blanket. The charring of your skin, which you had been nursing by yourself in your room- the only place you ever felt truly okay- started to mend slowly. You didn’t notice it, but you did feel the slightest bit lighter and it showed in your step and the fluidity of your movements. You also didn’t notice the way he would pause his work just to watch you pull in your bottom lip or rub your hands together as you decided what next to put inside your meal. You didn’t notice the way he made his work quieter so you could continue focusing. You didn’t notice the way he adorned you with his eyes, like you were the only thing to exist that ever really mattered and for a split second, he doubted you ever would.

Putting the burner on low and moving to grab plates, you stepped past a straightening Sehun. He was taking his gloves off slowly, picking each finger off before removing it. With his eyes faced down, looking at his hand like it was the only hint he was allowed to look like, he said, “I’m finished.”

“Oh?” The smile on your lips was natural as you looked over your shoulder at him. You leaned across the table to put the plates in their proper place, gripping the chair with one hand while lifting a foot off the ground for more reach. “You’re a lifesaver, thank you.”

He simply shrugged, as if he was saying he knew, and then shot you a kind look. It was between a smile and a smirk, but it was softer than anything you’d ever seen. He had his gloves draped across one thigh as he sat on your tile floor, hands placed behind him so he could lean and legs slightly apart. He watched you walk between the two rooms, followed your every move. There was a mysticism in his eyes, like he didn’t mind the scene he was seeing. Unable to read his mind, you couldn’t help but speak up about it.

“Are you going to help?” Your eyes were on your table, fixing glasses beside the plates. You heard him shuffle and get up as you continued, “I’d just need cutlery now.”

“Where are they?” His voice was soft, looking down at your marble counters and the drawers below them. He nearly reached his hand out to the wrong drawer and you simply led his hand, wrapping his fingers around the right handle.

“This one,” you murmured, giving him a slight look and feeling the shallowness in your breath. You were paused, trying to figure out what you wanted to get from the kitchen yourself. Your mind was caught up in itself though, biting down at you for doing that first, like it was somehow inappropriate. The question of why kept running through your mind, especially when he left to go and put the forks and knives where they needed to be. You opened the drawer to your left, checking if he got the kids’ utensils as well and seeing he did.

Slight relief came through your hands and you tried to exhale- tried to move to the food and place it on the table or call the kids but there he was again. He just appeared in front of you, walking on clouds so you couldn’t hear him coming. The only thing that made any sound was the pounding of your heart, cracking ribs in your chest and you were somehow breathless.

There wasn’t much to say, though your mind tried to think of something. Your mouth worked, murmuring only his name. But his eyes were on yours and they were enough to steal your mind. He held oceans in them, so quiet and still now- so determined. He looked so at peace inside, like he knew what he wanted to say to you and how. You didn’t even notice the way he left space for you to evade him, to step to the side and continue about your work. You couldn’t. He was so far pressed into your mind, like a toy tattoo that was somehow staining your skin permanently. Though, for the moment, you didn’t move to rub it away. You kept him at this distance, lips parting slightly and he looked at them for just a beat. But it was long enough for you to know. How could you not?

His heart was somehow close enough to feel and you could tell he was just as nervous- it was just as erratic and matched up perfectly with yours. Fingers fell just below your arm, so gingerly and softly, and you leaned into him, hip nearly bumping with his. You felt his belt against the bottom of your waist, felt every hair on your skin stand up slowly. Everything seemed to pause, your heart swimming in his eyes that held so many secrets. He was so close, nearly too close and you couldn’t help the anxiety that built up in your throat. You had so much you wanted to say, so many reservations and so many thoughts that bubbled up like foam. None of it passed your mouth, never allowed to.

How you hoped he’d just lean in further, tip his head down, place his lips on yours- how you wished he’d signed the contract with that, gladly taking your heart and placing it beside his. But the both of you procrastinated, waited too long, felt the breath hot on your skin but did nothing to stop it, and it was something you regretted more than you’d admit.

“Sehun!” Kihyun screeched, jolting the man in front of you from his place. The sincerity on his face, the seriousness that held no lie, melted away like ice cream on a summer day. He plastered on a smile and turned around, leaning down to pick up the child. You slowly felt your hands come alive, cool air touching your skin and slowly unpeeling you from your spot.

“Hey, kiddo, did you miss me?” His eyes trained themselves on the kid’s face, placing the boy on his hip before shifting him to his shoulders. Inguk somehow also appeared, running between your legs while you tried to make your way to the table again.

“Why are you here?”

The apricot man looked down at the child and narrowed his eyes suspiciously, asking seriously, “what, you don’t want to see me?”

Inguk shuffled in his spot, head just visible over the counter but you could tell his hands were caught behind his back, uncomfortable. “No.”

Clearing your throat, you hummed, “it’s time for lunch.”

All three heads turned your way, Sehun’s shielded so the kids wouldn’t see a thing. You pretended not to feel the jump in your throat, trying so hard not to look at him like more than he was- to build him up into something he wasn’t. You had a tendency of making people up when you liked them and then being disappointed when they revealed who they were. You couldn’t do that with him. You couldn’t ruin it and, despite hating the thought, you couldn’t help but feel like a kiss would have been a mistake. You would have fallen. You would have built him up into the figure of a perfect man.

You couldn’t do that, consuming him like you consumed everything- like you consumed yourself. You could barely feel anything but the flaking if your burnt insides that tried so hard to conceal a delicately deadly passion inside of you- one that burned like wildfire. You pushed it down and held it there and if you let Sehun in, the cup would overflow. It would be too much. You wouldn’t be able to hide a thing and for once in your life, you had to be honest. It scared you and you should have just told him but pushing the words past your teeth was even more terrifying.

Saying anything out loud meant a confirmation of your feelings. It was a stamp that proved you’d put yourself out there. There was no taking it back for, once it was out there, it became reality. You weren’t sure if you could make it in the real world, choosing fantasy a long time ago.

He chatted with the boys mostly during lunch, telling you that you could bring your books to study if you needed to cram. You couldn’t take him up on his offer, knowing you’d need something to distract you from his eyes but also being unable to retain any information. You were too scattered, caught between wanting to talk to him and wanting him to leave- wanting him next to you and wanting never to see him again. Everything seemed to be too much, overwhelming you. Heat came up your throat and creep across your cheeks and your mind, like a broken record, played the scene over and over again.

One arm rested on the counter beside you. He was bent the slightest bit forward, waiting for a sign. His skin was glowing, a soft gold from the sun streaming in through the window above the sink. There were a few cracks in his lips, like he’d bitten them moments before as he was working. There were a few blemishes on his forehead and across his cheeks. There were wrinkles under his eyes from a lack of sleep and mint rolling off his tongue. There he was, in full and unglamorous view with a slightly stained shirt and hair messed up from his position as he was fixing the sink; but there was nothing imperfect about him. There couldn’t be, even if you wanted there to be.

“I’ll wash the dishes,” he offered, sliding his hand over yours as he placed another dish in the sink. It was the only time you could find your voice, somehow managing to shoo him away so you could have time on your own.

“Just- can you please keep them entertained?” you asked, so static and rough. A small filter fell over his eyes, throwing up another defense at your refusal of his help. Yet, he pursed his lips together and nodded, moving past you. His hand left your skin last, tracing across your upturned palm. The shivers that ran over your spine were enough to make you turn your head and watch him lead the kids into the living room for some small games.

You could barely hear his voice over the flowing water and kept it that way for as long as feasible possible before the fear of your exam creeped back into your mind. You were now coupled with two problems- small in the grand scale of things but seeming so important. There was failing your exam if you didn’t study anymore but there was also the seeping sunset in your mind that bled into pages and into your eyes. He was everywhere and in everything, in every colour you saw and every pen. You couldn’t deny it, not even when you closed your eyes to escape it and drove the bottoms of your palms into your eyes in hopes of washing him out- but none of it worked. It was silly of you to assume it ever would, though you could assume he felt the same way; that wouldn’t be silly, would it?

As time passed slower than usual but no parent showed up to pick up their children, you couldn’t help but feel sweat form on your palms. At the table, you snatched up your phone to a message:

Ms. Cho: Hey, y/n, I know this is last minute but both of us are caught up at work and can’t make it. Can we entrust you with the kids a bit longer? Thanks so much xox, we’ll be there by eight p.m. latest!

The scoff that came from your lips was much too audible, you shoulders sinking and eyes unbelieving. You didn’t know what to say as a response, somehow not being able to tell her that you’d have to be on a bus to the city by seven- that you’d have to go and leave them alone. You didn’t know what else you could do, knowing the Mrs. Cho didn’t trust Sehun alone with the kids. You thought of proposing something else, letting them stay anywhere else, but you were the only person they ever stayed with. The foaming bubbles of anxiety lifted up again and you found yourself dumbfounded, staring at your phone while your forehead rested in your hand for support.

“What happened?” Sehun asked lightly, across the kitchen from the fridge. He was handling a water bottle, turning it over in his hands as he shut the door quietly. There was a genuine concern in the softness of his tone, feet padding across the floor to get to you.

You sighed, “Neither of their parents can come pick them up before eight.”

“So?”  He took the cap off the bottle, sitting down across from you with a shrug falling off his shoulders.

Fixing him with a stern look, upset and unable to think of a solution, you huffed, “so, I have my bus to catch by seven or else I don’t make it into the city on time and then I fail my exam and I’m barely passing which means I fail the whole course and-”

“Alright. alright,” Sehun hummed, raising his hands softly off the table to try and bring you down, “just breathe, okay? You won’t fail.”

“That’s the last bus,” you countered, trying to make him understand. His face didn’t change, not showing any concern. He just told you to wait for a moment, reaching into his pocket and taking his time before humming and sliding you a card.

“Okay, this is your driver’s license. How does that help?” Your eyebrow raised, sliding it back to him across the table as you muttered, “are you teasing me or something?”

A dry chuckle fell off his lips, unbelieving. “No, I’m not.”

“Then what?” You couldn’t help the edge of your words, angry at the Chos, angry at Sehun for no reason, angry at yourself. You were just frustrated and having him there was agitating you more, like he was just a reminder of one more stressor in your life- something you couldn’t think of right then and there.

“I’m trying to say I can drive you if you want.”

His eyes were kind, throwing the offer in the air like a gift. It wasn’t meant to be rude but you supposed the way you took it wasn’t perfect. It left a bitter taste in your mouth, like you had to depend on him for no reason. Though, you supposed that might have just been your own reservations. His fingers formed around his card, taking it off the table while you shook your head, muttering a hard ‘no’.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want him to drive you,  you just didn’t want to be alone together. You didn’t know what you’d do or say or feel. You didn’t know what falling asleep in his car might feel like, if he’ll keep you warm and give you a blanket. You didn’t know a thing, but there you were, imagining it like a fool. You couldn’t have that. You couldn’t be so caught in this head of yours, knowing you weren’t in the best place to accept this offer. But his mouth worked and made good points, saying he’d be quicker than the bus and you’d be able to finish studying a little more- that you’d fulfill your responsibility.

“If you don’t want me to though, just tell me. I don’t want to force you or anything.”

He nodded, giving you a little smile before getting up from his spot. He rapped on the table once as a goodbye and leisurely strolled to the room with the kids.

“Sehun, can we play sandman?” Inguk asked, tugging on Sehun’s sleeve. The man grinned, setting down his water bottle and getting fairly close to Inguk’s face. His hands rested on his knees, eyes narrowed again and voice low. You could barely make out what he said, watching him challenge the boy with a stiffness in your veins.

“You bet we can.”

Commotion occurred in the living room, sounds too loud. You couldn’t think, or make a decision. You couldn’t do a thing, sitting there like an idiot and letting him distract you. So, you snatched up your books and huffed, taking the stairs two at a time. The momentum gave you some sort of spark and you didn’t understand the suddenness of your fingers- the impulse under your skin. There it lay though, ready to be tapped into and you didn’t ignore it. You sent a text, making up your mind on a whim.

Me: that’s fine! I’ll see you at eight!

The reality of it all sunk into your shoulders, eyes shutting softly. Your books collapsed beside each other on the bed. There was nothing but a heaviness in your chest, knowing what time alone could do. Whenever you were alone, you spoke about the most fantastical and most realistic things at once. The two of you were silent understanders, listeners, speakers. You didn’t know what would happen, but you had to try something. You couldn’t go into this exam feeling scattered, knowing it would only jinx you for it. You needed to be in tip top shape. You needed to talk to each other. You needed to know what he was thinking, and you would. You would get everything figured out, that you knew well enough. The only question was how.

A/N: alright so haha here’s the second part I’m sorry for being such a trash updater but school’s really been in the way. however, my exams finish soon so I’ll be doing a lot more of this a lot more frequently! Plus, it’s exo’s anniversary and I couldn’t miss out on a perfect time to feel inspired and write about one of my favourites. I’ll see you guys with the next one!

[liannyeong]

Forget Us

Summary:  He can't live with the guilt of hurting his best friend so much, and all the while, he was oblivious to it. He needs to fix this. He wants to. So he dials her up, rather surprised and very much relieved with the fact that she didn't change her number. // A sequel to Forget You

Word count: 2340

Pairing: Jinyoung X OC

Warning(s): sad just pure sadness

A/N: just cry please. i think i’m a horrible person.

Jinyoung carefully sets down the letter she wrote, a hand gripping tightly at the the small glass case. He gazes at it for so long, he's surprised he didn't get bored of it. He traces the glass, rotating the case around in his hand. The words 'I love you, Park Jinyoung' written on the yellow petal with green and red tips echoes in his mind. He can't hear her voice saying it, he can't imagine it at all. He places the glass case on his night stand carefully, as if afraid he might break it apart. But everything has fallen apart. His world came crumbling down the moment she woke from the surgery. The blank look on her face. It's as if he was a total stranger. The way she tensed up a little bit when he tried to talk to her afterwards, eyes darting around out of fear.

Jinyoung doesn't want to believe this at all. He doesn't want to live with the idea that his best friend had loved him so much, she was willing to lose all of her memories of him. He can't live with the guilt of hurting his best friend so much, and all the while, he was oblivious to it. He needs to fix this. He wants to. So he dials her up, rather surprised and very much relieved with the fact that she didn't change her number.

"What do you know of me?" she asks, arms crossed. She has the frown on her face: the one when she's trying to solve a puzzle. "You keep saying we're close, then why did I forget about you?"

You loved me, is what Jinyoung wants to say but he didn't. He couldn't. It's not even his secret to say. "I've hurt you in the past, I guess? Without me knowing. That's why you've forgotten me totally."

She doesn't look impressed with his answer and Jinyoung can understand that totally. It's hard to convince someone of the truth about her own self. Jinyoung plays around with his fingers, a habit he has whenever he feels unsure of what to say. In the past, she knows it all. She could tell his emotions and thoughts just by looking into his eyes or his little actions. But the girl in front of him now? She knows nothing at all. She doesn't know him anymore. She doesn't know that every time he purses his lips, it's to hide his nervousness. That every time he brushes his hair back, it's an indication to cut his hair. She doesn't know any of these anymore.

"Is there anything else you wish to say to me?" her question snaps him from his thoughts. Jinyoung looks up from his hands to meet her eyes. She's got her eyebrows furrowed, and Jinyoung doesn't remember seeing such an annoyed expression on her face before. Well, not to him, at least.

Jinyoung hesitates to answer, despite the impatient look on her face. He knows if he doesn't reply any sooner, she would end the conversation just like that and walk off. Not wanting that to happen, he leans forward, bringing his clasped hands onto the table. "Will you let me mend the things that happened between us?"

She doesn't seem willing to agree, judging by the way she scans him up and down.

"It's fine if you can't give an answer now. But I'd like another chance."

"Fine.”

It doesn't take long before she relaxes around him. It took Jinyoung a lot of effort to get her to trust him back. He walked home with her, surprised her with her favorite meals. And Jinyoung realizes she's still the same person as before. She still has the same liking to pastel colors, the same fashion style as before. She's still as neat as ever, her things well-organized in her office and in her apartment. She still laughs the same way, still smiles the same bright smile as before. She still thinks his jokes are funny when others do not. She's still the same old her.

It didn't take long for Jinyoung to realize how much he's been missing her. How much he was stupid for not telling her the truth back then. How he loves the way she laughs at his jokes, the way she smiles, the way she sings out of tune to the songs they blasted in the car, the way she runs up to a stray cat on the streets and pets them. He was an idiot. He has loved her for so long, but he never really did realize that it was romantic love. It definitely didn't take long for Jinyoung to realize that he's fallen for his best friend all over again.

They're sitting on the car trunk, parked by the beach in the night. It's quiet, with the sound of the crashing waves onto the shore. He has lent her his jacket, and he doesn't say that he loves seeing her donned in his clothes. It's a little over-sized for her smaller frame, but he likes the way she looks in it. They stare up at the night sky, the stars twinkling softly in the dark. It's beautiful, the view. The city landscape at the horizon, the moon perched on top of the whole landscape. The streetlights appear like the stars, though much larger and of orange glow than the actual.

"Has it always been like this?" she asks. "Has it always been this beautiful? Did we used to come here often?"

Jinyoung doesn't know what to say. He's afraid of telling her the truth. Of how he was oblivious to her feelings for him in the past, which diagnosed her with Hanahaki disease. He hated it so much. He felt guilty of it all. It was his fault for not noticing. It was his fault for not reciprocating. It was all his fault.

"Jinyoungie?" she calls out his name so softly and Jinyoung just wants to record it and listen to that voice forever.

"We used to come here every weekend. We'd talk about random things, and as the night progresses, we'd start having deep intellectual and emotional conversations."

"Sounds fun," she says with a smile and Jinyoung thinks he wants to store that too. Paint a picture of her smile and hang it up his wall. Except he can't paint and it would seem creepy. And so he engraves the sight of her smile in the beautiful scenery into his memories and into his heart, so that he won't forget it at all. He never want to forget this at all.

"What happened in the past though? What made me forget a great person like you?" she asks. "How can I forget a precious person like you? Was I a fool?"

"You were not, that's for sure. I was."

"Why?" She looks at him, curiosity in her eyes. "Why? What did you do? What did I do?"

Jinyoung presses his lips together. He's truly afraid of telling her the truth. He doesn't want to. It'll make things awkward. They'll grow apart, and there'll never be anything between them anymore. There'll be no more chances. He shakes his head. "It doesn't matter anymore. Can we skip this topic? I don't want to remember the past."

"Don't you miss the old me?"

"No. I don't," Jinyoung answers, tone serious. "There's not much difference, actually. You're still you. And if it's you, then I-" He halts himself. He should stop himself from ruining anything, shouldn't he?

"If it's me then?" she prompts.

But he didn't.

"If it's you, then I will always love you," he says as he gazes into her eyes. "I was a fool. I was too dumb, too blind to realize the truth of my heart. You had always been there, and I had always loved you but I hadn't realized it at all. You didn't say your feelings either, but you were coughing up petals so bad. I thought it was due to another guy that you met, so I wanted you to do the surgery. But the next thing I knew, your memories of me were all gone. Vanished. That's when the truth dawned on me."

Her eyes are wide open, her mouth slightly agape. Jinyoung doesn't know what to do now. He doesn't know what'll happen after this. Will she avoid him like the plague? Run away from him? Move away? He thinks of a lot of possible outcomes, but never the happy ones.

"Either you were really dumb or I was really good at hiding my feelings," is what he hears as a reply. She chuckles afterwards, and Jinyoung is confused. What exactly is happening? "Oh, dear Jinyoungie. I guess things haven't changed after all."

Jinyoung blinks, his confusion multiplied.

"Even if the surgery took away all my memories and feelings of you, I'd still fall for you all over again."

They finally got the happy ending they wanted after all these years. They got married, moved into a cozy apartment, and led a happy life together. It's their fifth wedding anniversary; their seventh anniversary being together as an item. They had a date at the fancy restaurant they always visit during their anniversaries; the same one Jinyoung proposed and the same one they used for their wedding reception. They're on the way back to their apartment, and it's a comfortable drive back home. The road is empty, and there's void of any human in the vicinity. A red traffic light flashes and Jinyoung moves the car to a stop.

He brings their intertwined hands to his lips and kisses her knuckles. "Happy seventh anniversary, dear," he kisses her knuckles again. "Let's go on for years."

"And let's not leave each other again," she adds, with a smile. Her other hand reaches out for his face, brushing away the bangs that fall onto his eyes. The act makes Jinyoung's heart flutter all over.

"I promise," he answers. She leans in, her hand caressing his cheek ever so softly. Jinyoung's eyes flutter shut, anticipating for the touch. But he didn't hear the horn of a truck and the skidding of the oncoming truck. Just when their lips touched, the car is slammed forward, swerved and crashed its side into a building. The side of the car is badly dented, and the side windows are broken. Jinyoung can barely open his eyes. He feels liquid trickling down his face but pays no attention to it. Jinyoung looks over to the passenger seat and reaches out for the female, ignoring the wince in his arm. Her eyes are shut tight, and even with the slight opening of his eyes, he can see the way her breathing slows down. Blood oozes down her forehead, and Jinyoung panics. Please stay with me, is what he desperately says inside, for his voice wouldn't come out. He touches her cheek before dropping his hand on top of hers, intertwining their fingers together. The door swings open and a rough male voice breaks the silence. "Are you alright? I'll get you out of here."

Jinyoung can barely register what happened, for his eyes droop so low, and then he's sent back to the darkness.

Jinyoung wakes up in a room filled with all white and he blocks the ceiling light with his hand. He sits up slowly, wincing a little at the pain in his lower back, and the throbbing pain in his head. He brings his hand to his temples, massaging it to keep the pain away. His other hand goes to his lower back, and he massages it too. The door creak open and he didn't look up. He doesn't need to, for there's only another person who lives in the apartment.

"Everything okay?" the person asks. "Is your back hurting again?"

"I'm fine. Probably slept on the wrong side of the bed," Jinyoung answers as he drops his hands to his sides. There's worry written on the other's face, to which Jinyoung smiles reassuringly, "I'm really fine... I think I just had a nightmare."

"You sure?"

Jinyoung hesitates. He's not entirely sure if it's really a dream. It feels real. All of it: the touches, the happiness, the injuries... The kiss. It feels too real to be called a dream. But dreams can bring out the wildest fantasies in a human's heart, so it may not be real after all... Right?

"Anyway," the other interjects his thoughts. "I've packed your things. It's all outside. Whenever you're ready, we can leave."

"Thanks," Jinyoung smiles in gratitude.

"Oh! And," the brunette hands him what seems to be a photograph. "I found this amidst all your stuff." The brunette gives him a smirk. "Who is she?"

Jinyoung takes the photo from his friend's hand, and looks at it. It's a picture of a girl, her smile so wide as she looks into the camera. It was taken at night, a city landscape in the background, with streetlights on and barely visible stars in the sky. The girl's smile is beautiful, and Jinyoung can tell that it's genuine too. There's a kind of captured sparkles in her eyes, and the word 'love' comes to his mind. For some reason, Jinyoung's lips start to curl upwards a little, and there's a kind of ache in his chest.

His friend asks again, "So? Who is she?"

Jinyoung meets the pair of curious eyes and shrugs, ignoring the emotions he just felt earlier. "No idea. This picture probably got mixed up somehow."

"Right," the friend says, deflated. "I'll wait for you outside."

"Yeah, sure, thanks." Jinyoung gets himself out of the bed, and dresses himself up properly. Boxes of his belongings are already stacked nicely at the living room so his room is basically empty. He takes one last look in the mirror, fixing his hair and attire. Jinyoung then leaves the room, not before having a last glance around the room.

Jinyoung shuts the door, leaving the photograph on the dressing table.

It's time to move on.