#he’s still kakavasha underneath. aventurine is a performance. but like. they’re both him at this point he only is willing to recognize aven | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

venti-death-watch · 2 months ago

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like, aventurine strikes me as someone who will help a child find their family, leave someone alone or try to help them in subtle ways if he sees they’re having a bad day (and he has nothing against them), and try to be nice/relatively nice to service workers/those with less power than him (if it’s not part of a plan), but he’s also someone who like, has no issue with torturing/murdering for information, or talking people into contracts that will fuck over their entire planet for the ipc, or tearing down your life around you if you are against him. do you get it

i think a lot of people have a hard time reconciling aventurine’s ruthlessness with his kindness. and like to be honest, i fall into those traps a lot too.

he’s someone who has fought for everything he’s ‘had’, whose all-or-nothing mentality comes from how anything less than the best is not an option if he wants to survive, who i think is a lot more ruthless and cunning than people are willing to see him as.

but he’s also the guy who instantly was incredibly kind to his child self without even knowing it was him.

and tbh, i don’t see why he can’t be both at once.

#this isn’t 100% but like. ehhhhh #aventurine sees himself as lower than everyone around him. he has a minuscule worth. he still has to fight to survive #he’ll give kindness where he can (limited places. people alone & without a crowd. people who can’t hurt him or have power over him)#but for people who could potentially use this kindness against him in the ipc as blackmail he has no issue not giving a shit bc #‘it’s them or me’#like i don’t know exactly how to explain it.#his proximity to solitariness/crowdedness/projection affects whether he’s more kind or cruel #as does what plan he’s going off & what he wants out of an interaction #i’m thinking out loud right now tbh.#like idk. i feel like he’s a ‘kind to children bc he did not have a kind childhood and children don’t deserve that’ type person #but in that he absolutely refuses to acknowledge that’s a part of why he does it. i think he doesn’t really like his kindness?????#thoughts #i’ll come across something in a fic & it’d be like he would not trust his secretary that much. he would not be mean to that person.#he would not be *kind* to that person. yknow.#it makes him a bit hard to write abt bc you need to know what his intent/end goal w every conversation is #he’s still kakavasha underneath. aventurine is a performance. but like. they’re both him at this point he only is willing to recognize aven #until after his time in the nihility? to me? bc kakavasha was him before. a kinder him. he’s not quite sure how to be gentle now.#but in certain cases he wants to be & is willing to try. but he’s still a survivor who’s willing to crush ppl under his heel to stay on top

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