#he’s seems like an upstanding motherfucker that want whats best for you

[sethdomain]

personally my faves r my faves BECAUSE they are flawed not in spite of it. Let your fav make mistakes. let them make a million mistakes.

let them learn and grow from it.

dsmp is so interesting because of their flawed characters. we get to see so many perspectives and thats so beautiful. lets take cslimecicle as an example. from cquackitys pov thats his guy, his ride or die, his bestie for the resty

no lets look at it from c!purpleds pov, thats the weird slimy guy that spied on me for quackity, he's odd as fuck

reverse the he who is w/o sin bullshit and make it dsmp

they are all flawed, interesting characters with engaging dynamics. Stop dulling them down to fit into your squeaky clean do no wrong ideation of them

soz this is mega yapping but dtill

Amen🙏 make dream smp great again do not let the woke take it away from you.

[honorable-wanderings]

Word of Honor - Episode 2 Part 1 - Stalking, but in like. A  sexy way

(Sorry! For some reason the “readmore” isn’t working right!)

WE JOIN OUR “HEROES”....

exactly where we left them.

ZZS looks confused, offended, and slightly intrigued by the new person added into Smash Bros.

Look at him. Tryin to be all cool. Make a good first impression.

----------

I’m not really sure what kind of a power move it is wrapping up her whip and pulling her closer in a chastising way in front of the man you have already decided to try to seduce but it is a power move none the less.

And it seems to be working! :o

----------

There’s more pouting in this show than I originally anticipated.

“A-Xiang, stop attacking random people on the street. At least wait until your martial arts don’t suck ass first.”

----------

And so the dance begins.

Look at that smirk. He knows exactly what he’s doing.

---------

Waste not your honored thanks on me, kind gentleman. I am but a lowly drunkard lying dirty and prone on the street. The error, therefore, must have been my own!

---------------------

I got my eyes on you!!!!

To quote a kind young lady that I met quite recently. “I don’t give a FUCK”

----------

Oh wait, you’re still here?

----------

Best boy alert is going crazy!!!

We may have just met ChenLing, but I would die for him. That also seems to be the general consensus with the other characters as well.

----------

“It is dangerous outside the town walls, so I cannot allow a child like you to... ...A sword? My apologies, sir. It was wrong of me to treat you like a child. “

What? That’s not what he said?

----------

“Are you injured or ill?”

*looks into the camera like it’s the office*

----------

ZZS out here looking like a tragic renaissance painting.

“Young master can we go now? He smells D:”

“Sure just a sec! Let me just leave him my house keys!!”

“What??? Nooooo”

“What was that phrase I learned today? I don’t give a fuck?”

(On a side note I am trying to learn French atm and deadass almost wrote “fraise” instead of “phrase” even though it means “strawberry” and doesn’t have anything to do with the conversation at hand.)

----------

I came out here to enjoy the sun and some peace and quiet and some good alcohol. The peace and quiet is gone. And so is the sun. Now this dickwad’s saying I might be bad because I dress like shit? I was the nicest dressed royal assassin ever and now that I’m a hobo I’ve never been more upstanding! I haven’t even killed a single person in like a year and a half (other than myself).

At least I still have you, alcohol.

----------

Meanwhile back with these two,

A-Xiang is still mad that she lost a random fight she picked with someone who looked like a pushover.

More pouting ensues

--------------

“Get good”

Master KeXing reveals he knows more than he revealed to know previously when he was pretending not to know what he has now revealed he knows.

A-Xiang wants to know if he’s making shit up again.

-----------

The plot is driven forward by the playful rhyming chants of children. Honestly that’s top tier horror movie quality plot beat right there. Add a sense of foreboding to your story even though we’re still in ‘lighthearted silly time”

Good job!

----------

Zhou Zishu wonders, surely not for the last time, why everyone in the martial arts world can’t just calm the fuck down.

----------

ZZS then decides that after being accosted by random people on the street while he was snoozing and minding his own damn business that that seems like a lot of fun and decides to accost some random person on the street who was snoozing and minding their own business.

---------

Why doesn’t anyone ever believe that I’m fucking loaded? I’ve got like 2 years left and I’m gonna blow my life’s savings before I go muthafucka. You want 3 mace of silver for a half-mile boat ride? Done motherfucker did I stutter?

----------

“Hello. I’m totally not stalking you. :D”

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“You wanna ride my boat? ;)” he asks, shouting it across the river so that he could be heard. “What?” Zhou Zishu replies, not able to understand him over the babbling of the water.

“I said! Do! You! Want! To! Ride! My! Boat? Winky Face!”

“Did you just say “winky face??”

“Yeah I was worried you couldn’t see it from there!”

----------

Somehow today has turned out much more interesting than I had anticipatd

----------

“We’ll meet again if fated!”

“Challenge accepted”

----------

Yes I am only keeping an eye on him to make sure he doesn’t fuck with my plans. And that is the only reason. Yes. that’s why I’m going to follow him. Just this. Only that. No other reason.

----------

This place is pretty! I think this would be a great place to die!

Hun, you still have a couple years. You can always come back to die here later but like chilling in a field of flowering trees for 2 years will kinda lose its novelty if you don’t do other things too.

----------

GIVE ME YO’ FUCKIN’ MONEY!!

----------

You said I’ve already ridden and dashed so what’s the point in my paying you now? Toodles!

-----------

This place is pretty but I love how people never walk anywhere. Like the trees would look prettier if you were in them you know.

----------

HOly fuck! Being rude as shit is so fun! How have I never tried this before? 

----------

Uh.. question: How did this get here? It’s clearly dry docked but it’s no where near the water. Why is it here???

Ah well. It’s free real estate

----------

WHY IS THE RUM GONE?

----------

Do I have “attack me” written on my face or something? For the love of fuck! I’m not drunk enough for this!

----------

“Meh”

“Meh? I think not good sir.”

----------

Would you believe that this wasn’t even rehearsed?

-----------

For someone who does not want people to see his chest, this is certainly a lot of chest exposed???

----------

Not sure that’s how fans work, but hell maybe I’ve just been using ‘em wrong all this time

Holy fuck is it heat seeking???

----------

Surprise!!!

-----------

Pff. Okay. Like I will ALWAYS love it when some not sharp object flies into something and sticks like it’s made of razor sharp blades. And I know TECHNICALLY it’s possible - what with a tornado being able to slam a single piece of straw through cinder block. But it will always make me smile.

(And while that is a smile at how ridiculous it is, it is with 100% legit affection and charm. I legit love it)

Just. “Thunk”

----------

Who is attacking me? Were they sent by the prince? Do they know who I am? Do I need to get serious?

Oh... It’s just that random guy again.

Well that’s okay then.

--------

I apologize for once again attacking you randomly and completely unprovoked in the middle of nowhere. My bad.

----------

“My footwork has godlike elegance huh? You shoulda seen me when I wasn’t dying.”

----------

I came here to check out dat ass again and I was not disappointed. ;)

----------

Don’t stand so- Don’t stand so- Don’t stand so close to me ♪

----------

“Why don’t we drink on my boat?“ “I don’t want to sleep with you!“ “Yet ;)”

----------

Why the fuck are you following me? Just say what you want from me already!

Bitch you invited me

-------

“He’s so good at kissing ass”

Oh just you wait.

--------

Still gonna stalk you btw! ♥♥♥

[hesesols]

Dreamer’s Disease

Day 10 of Ichiruki month 2020

Summary: It takes her the fourth- or maybe the fifth sleepover to admit that she’s catching feelings from him- Ichigo Kurosaki, her sort-of friends with benefits from Physics.

And for the love of God and Chappy, it is not a revelation that she takes well to.

Rating: MA

FF/ao3

.

Newton's 3rd Law: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

.

The morning light is blinding.

Rukia wakes up to his mouth pressing incessantly against her skin, dropping fervent kisses and the occasional nip or two as she blinks blearily at her surroundings. Sometime during the night she shifted and they ended up in a mess of tangled limbs- hip pressed against hip, his hand woven into her hair, her legs wrapped around his waist. His unspoken invitation to fill an ache that is equal parts of a want and a need earns him a lazy moan- heavy with sleep but he takes it anyway.

It becomes reciprocal enough when she slants her mouth to his and digs her heels into his lower back.

Languid muscles stretch and she maps his body like a canvas, tracing the outline of every bump and scar that she could lay her hands on. Warm hands grip at her hips, spreading her thighs apart as he settles himself between them. Fingers leave their temporary perch at the back of her knee to coat themselves in her warmth, pumping, curling- leaving her with the need for more as he tests her slickness.

The euphoria that she feels flooding her veins is entirely visceral when he sinks into her.

She cries out- in pain, in pleasure. His teeth are sharper than expected, drawing blood when she yields and bares her neck to him. Tentative licks follow but he's too far gone to be entirely gentle with the gesture when his mouth envelops her tender tit and clamps down on her nipple.

She feels limbless and unbound, pliable in his hands as he takes her into his arms and throws her legs over his shoulders. He moans her name, drawing the syllables out, punctuating each one with a hard thrust of his hips.

She gasps.

The new angle hits her just right and the world is beautiful in the way light streams through barely open blinds- the way it gilds him, hits his jawline perfectly and leaves him bronze and golden and a hundred thousand adjectives she can't quite string together as her mind hazes.

The want in her unfurls- feral and a little unhinged in her desperation. She tugs at his hair, hears him hiss when her nails dig a little too harshly into his skin. He pays her back in kind with the near painful nip on her lower lip- a little of a punishment and a warning but Rukia is unrepentant.

Violet eyes burn into his as she gives him a challenging look by way of the defiant tilt of her chin, daring him to do his worst, welcomes it even.

"Brat," he growls, tightening his grip on her thighs and the curve of his lips is almost sadistic as he withdraws- slow and purposeful enough to make Rukia whimper in response only to slam back harder into her.

Her vision swims, body shuddering as he holds her in place, frantic thrusts pumping in and out of her slickness. The sounds their bodies make with each other, her quick, shaky breathless sighs in contrast to his grunts and curses- deep, groaning voice straining, steeped in his ache—

"Look at me."

His hand cups her jaw, husky voice harshly demanding her obedience and she struggles to keep up. Her eyelids flutter but it's too hard, she thinks. And entirely unfair that he's there coherently stringing along full sentences albeit struggling in some parts while she's lying on her back, her pussy stretched out and filled up, too rawed to find her voice.

"I want to see your eyes when you come."

She starts to protest, wants to tell him that it's too hard but the tug on her hair is sharp and sudden and her eyes widen in surprise, blinking away the tears.

She sees him.

Him with his pretty eyes, the hungry gleam behind them and his devastating smirk, the veins in his neck stretching, the bob of his Adam's apple; the shameless way her body responds to his, the squelch of their naked sex as their bodies come together only to fall apart in each other's arms.

She's a lost cause. Her walls clench and she climaxes with a scream that has him tumbling down the abyss after her.

Coming back down from the high is always the hardest part.

Her body is sore and satiated, mind still a hundred miles away as he peels off the used condom and throws it away.

His heat is delicious and when he leans in to plant lazy kisses on her still flushed skin, she's almost tempted to start something else.

She doesn't of course. Class starts in an hour and everyone knows Kurotsuchi is a sadistic motherfucker who likes to sweep in at least 15 minutes earlier and declare whoever that comes in later than him as a latecomer and bar said 'latecomer' from attending the lecture.

.

.

"Do you want your eggs scrambled?"

She nods, gives herself a mental pat on the shoulder when she doesn't whimper or reach out for him when he picks himself up- butt naked still and really he knows what the sight of his ass does to her- pads over to the kitchen.

Her brain is screaming at her to leave. She's getting too attached to him- too used to the idea of sleeping over with breakfast served when they both got into the arrangement knowing full well that things were supposed to be fun and casual- read: no strings attached friends with benefits.

Catching feelings for her fellow classmate who may have won the genetic lottery when it comes to bedroom eyes and to-die-for jawline, is the last thing she needs.

But then the aroma of food fills her senses and her stomach rumbles in response.

She sighs. Did she mention that he cooks too?

Rolling over to her side, Rukia tells herself to consider the facts: that Ichigo's flat is only 10 minutes away from campus (6 really if they run), that he's already cooking her breakfast and it would seem so horribly rude if she couldn't even stay after he went through all that trouble- she bites her lips, and reasons that maybe she can stay a little longer.

.

Like two responsible adults and upstanding citizens in the making, they end up missing the lecture.

A quickie in the showers somehow turns into another thing and this other thing leads into her fucking his brains out- cow girl style (her way of saying thank you for the meal and multiple orgasms among other things) and then by the time she comes to… well- is there really a point to attending lectures or doing anything for that matter when her knees are so wobbly she can barely walk in a straight line?

When she finally leaves his place, it's already the morning after and Rukia knows she has a problem when she can't even bring herself to care about her attendance record.

.

.

.

That was weeks ago.

Now she's avoiding the hell out of him. Ducks into the girl's toilet whenever she sees even a hint of orange coming her way and makes up excuses or straight up ghosts him when he texts her to come over.

Anyone with eyes could see that she's avoiding him and when even the ever-so discreet Rangiku Matsumoto makes it a point to ask you about it- you know you're in deep shit.

So she makes up some half-assed excuse about catching up on assignments. She is an Engineering major- the work is supposed to be gruelling, and it should hardly be a surprise to anyone if she deigns that she's in need of a sabbatical break from the drama and just focus on good old-fashioned scholarly stuff.

Or at least that's what she keeps telling everyone (herself included), however unconvincing they may find her excuses to be.

Of course, it's still entirely possible that he would seek her out himself. It just isn't a possibility that she entertains much given their limited history together- they just share Physics together, united by their mutual dislike of the teaching professor and early morning lectures, they don't even have the same major for crying out loud! The whole sharing bodily fluids business was nothing more than an unfortunate case of alcohol intoxication, human biology and the age-old curse of being at the wrong place at the wrong time.

The subsequent decision to be friends with benefits was clearly the culmination of a series of bad decisions and just as impressive alcohol poisoning.

.

.

.

Rukia hurls the contents of her breakfast into the toilet bowl. Her throat burns and the taste of bile lingers so badly that mouthwash is needed.

Weakly, she creeps out of her bathroom- more crawling than actually walking at this stage and calls Renji.

Her childhood best friend answers on the third ring and judging by his unusually high-pitched voice, was anxious to the point of hyperventilation.

"Where are you, Rukia? Classes started an hour ago! Our presentation is up next!"

She groans. Her stomach does a little flip at the thought of public-speaking and she thinks she's due another visit to the porcelain god.

"Renji, I'm sick."

"Seriously? How?" he screeched.

"Bad sushi," she offers by way of explanation. They got a little too carried away with Nanao's twenty-third birthday last night and decided to splurge. The menu said it was an all-you-can-eat buffet and the sashimi- her face turns green; oh it was definitely the sashimi, she pigged out on them and among the girls, she seems to have it worst. When she finally regains her ability to keep food down and walk like a normal person again, the first thing she is going to do is give the Japanese restaurant a one-star review on Google.

Renji seems to be talking gibberish on the other end and she hisses at him to calm down.

"Sorry, I'm just freaking out right now. You're supposed to be giving the presentation. And you know that I'm not exactly on speaking terms with Shuuhei right now because of you-know-what."

She sighs, ignoring the way her hair is plastered to her forehead in cold sweat. Boys are stupid and their topics of heated debate infinitely stupider. It's something to do with sports, beyond that Rukia doesn't really understand. Nor does she particularly care.

They're both such drama queens. Never again, she tells herself, is she ever going to partner with either of them for a group project.

"Just read out the discussion part. You'll be fine."

Renji has the charisma of a natural-born leader and the confidence to boot, as long as he doesn't freak out from stage fright- they'll be fine. Rukia proofread the report twice. Their maths is sound and the theoretical component to their project, flawless.

"Ok. But are you sure you're going to be fine? I'll drop by after lecture with some soup."

"Ok. Just leave it outside the door. I might not have the energy to open the door to let you in."

"Alright. Sweet corn soup ok?"

She scoffs.

"Cheapskate. You can do better than that," She's due a bit more by way of compensation. As the hard-carry for the team, Renji owes her that much at least. "I want steaming hot chicken and ginger congee with spring onions and a side serving of pickled cucumber."

"Well how am I gonna get that?"

She shouldn't have thought about food. The churning in her stomach is starting again and she dives for the toilet, barely making it in time.

"Figure it out, dumbass!"

.

.

She is woken up by the hard thumps on the door. It takes her a while to gain her bearings and get up from bed.

She almost wishes that Renji would stop knocking so loudly. It is making her head pound and the room is spinning until her hand catches on the door knob and twists it open. The breath of fresh air and sunlight on her skin makes the sickness a little more bearable and for the first time in the hours since she's been puking her guts out, she is finally feeling something other than nausea.

"Yo."

She blinks, desperately trying to rub the sleep away from her eyes because she could have sworn that it's Ichigo standing outside the door, arms laden with groceries and food stuff.

Rukia almost slams the door shut in his face. She's suddenly feeling all sorts of self-conscious about her appearance, about her messy knot of hair, her poor sickly complexion, and the fact that she can barely stand upright without holding onto the door.

Clad in her old high school jersey that doubles as her nightie, it takes her a whole minute of standing at the door, gapping like an idiot at the sight of him to realize that she's braless underneath it and Ichigo is staring at her breasts and oh god, she thinks she's going to be sick.

She lets go of the door knob and it's the mother of all bad ideas when she notices that her head is suddenly much lighter than her feet and she's falling—

Strong arms grip at her waist and she is so glad that he's not wearing any cologne as she clings on to him by his shirt. The smell of clean laundry and body warmth- a hint of peppermint from his aftershave, soothes her enough that her stomach stops churning.

"Woah. You're literally falling for me here, Kuchiki. Have some tact. We're still in the hallway. What will the neighbours say?"

Rukia snorts- retort half-forming at the tip of her tongue that he shouldn't be flattering himself but manages only to shoot a baleful glare at him. The lack of a proper retort is proof enough that she truly isn't feeling herself.

His amusement morphs into a look of concern, eyebrows furrowing as he tightens his hold on her.

"You're really sick, huh?"

A weak nod is all that she can manage. When he presses a cool hand against her forehead, it takes her all the self-restraint that she can muster not to whine or whimper. Clammy skin notwithstanding, her body feels hot and she thinks she's had enough of standing up now. He purses his lips, taking charge of the situation as he ushers her indoors and shuts the door behind them.

"Let's get you settled into bed."

.

.

He's still there when she wakes up.

The sun has only just set and the glow of her table lamp casts him in hues of soft yellow. She wants to believe that it's something more than pity in his eyes when he locks gaze with her.

"Hey," she calls out weakly.

There's a wet flannel on her forehead and a blanket thrown over her. His weight settles comfortably next to her on the mattress, keeping her warmer still. With his help, she manages to prop herself to sit upright and grabs the glass of water on her side.

"Right back at you, sleeping beauty. Feeling better?"

She nods. The water is refreshing against her parched throat and she finishes it in seconds.

"T-Thank you."

He grunts in response, tucking her back into bed and when she protests, silences her arguments with a firm and sound reply of 'I'm a doctor's son. I know what I'm doing'. Rukia is too weak and her brain too sluggish to come up with a proper comeback, so she begrudgingly obliges.

"I better get going. There's some congee for you in the thermos flask when you wake up. And there's a tub of pickled cucumber in your fri-"

Her hand grabs at his, a weak tug by all accounts but his body stiffens and he stills. Soft brown eyes are staring back at her and it renders her defences futile. This is her at her most vulnerable, stripped down to something that predates her Kuchiki upbringing, before she even knew to arm herself with a tongue sharp enough to cut and wound.

"Stay?"

She's overstepping and pushing boundaries that he's not comfortable with. Wincing when the words ring a little too desperately in her ears and her pride balks at the blank look on his face, she tries to take them back but he beats her to it.

"Scoot over then."

His voice is gruff but he's drawing the blanket up and sliding under it. His warmth presses comfortably to her back and her eyelids flutter shut, letting out a contented sigh when his arm drapes across her middle.

Belatedly she realizes that at this stage maybe they're more than just casual fuck buddies to each other. For starters, he didn't have to come to her door and he most certainly didn't have to stay when she asked him to. Sex isn't even on the table and she's reeling from all the implications.

Does he want them to be something more? Does she?

Is it something that—

"Just go to sleep. I promise I'll still be here in the morning. We can talk then."

Her mind halts at the sound of his voice whispering so tenderly into her ears. She relents. If he's still here in the morning, curled up next to her maybe they'll have the dreaded grownup conversation then.

It's a promise that she holds him to.

FF/ao3

Review, reblog, like, comment or even ask to send some love my way.

[bwicblog]

>HANDS UP (and touch the sky)

While a global-spanning fishing attack has the Alternian internet glitching, Vadaya connects to the BWIC servers through his helming device. When Riccin IMs him and pushes him, he discovers he's able to make certain changes to the server - like punching a hole in the coding to allow a third person to be invited into his PM.

-- obstructedAntiquity [OA] is now trolling unruffledVanquisher [UV]! --

OA: cOUSIN, DID I HONESTLY GO AND OFFENd? OA: bECAUSE THAT AIN'T MY INTENTIOn. UV: Oh. UV: That is how you start a private chat. OA: UV: No Riccin. UV: My apologies. UV: I did not mean to be so blunt. OA: OA: cOUSIN, ARE YOU DRUNk? UV: Incorrect. OA: hIGh? UV: Also Incorrect. OA: UV: Oh. UV: I made a capitalized letter. OA: tESTING DRUGS ARE STILL DRUGS, YOU KNOw. UV: How. OA: OA: hm. UV: My apologies. UV: I am unused to this. OA: dON'T YOU START FUCKING APOLOGISING TO ME. WHY, SHIT THROWS US ALL LOOPY THE FIRST TIME, COUSIN. GOTTA BUILD UP YOUR MOMENTUM. GET YOUR FEET IN THE RIGHT FUCKING ORDER, 'FORE YOU START WALKING STRAIGHt. UV: I am not on drugs. UV: That is incorrect.(edited) UV: I am currently drugged. OA: UV: But not on those kinds of drugs. OA: rIGHt. OA: yOU GOT ANY TECHS IN THERE WITH YOU? IT'S THAT TIME OF THE PERIGEE, AIN'T It? UV: Correct. OA: tO WHICH PART, COUSIn. UV: I am in testing. UV: But i recommended that i was also allowed to do training. UV: Oh. UV: Both. OA: rIGHt. OA: wELL, GOOD, THEY GOT YOU WOUND UP LIKE A KITE, BETTER BE KEEPING AN EYE ON YOu. UV: I am not a kite. UV: I am just trying to learn speaking through computer systems. OA: OA: what. OA: like. they got you hooked in? UV: Correct. UV: I am very hooked in. OA: aW, SHIt. OA: hOLY SMOKES. NAH, WAIT, FUCK THAT: HOLY FUCKING SHIt. OA: tHAT HAS GOT TO BE THE MOST GODDAMN WICKED THING I HAVE EVER LAID THESE UNFORTUNATE VISIONSACKS UPON. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, VADAYa. OA: tHAT'S SO FUCKING COOl. OA: bUT, LIKE, FUCk. OA: hOw? UV: How. UV: Question mark. OA: aND FUCK, HOW THE FUCk -- OA: tHEY WON'T EVEN LET ME DO THAT SHIT YET, HOW THE FUCK ARE YOu? OA: hOw. OA: qUESTION MARk. UV: I have not figured out question marks. OA: pRESS AND HOLD SHIFt. OA: UV: OA: wAIT, SHIt. OA: tRY THINKING IT REAL LOUd. UV: QUESTION MARK. OA: gODDAMNIt. OA: tRY THINKING IT LIKE IT'S A QUESTION, BROTHER. THINK IT LIKE YOU'RE SCREAMING IT. THINK IT LIKE IT STOLE YOUR FUCKING MATESPRIT, AND NOW YOU'RE ON YOUR KNEES, EDGE OF THE FUCKING DOCKS, HAND REACHED OUT TOWARDS THE SHIP THAT'S ALREADY ZOOMING TOWARDS A GALAXY AS FAR THE FUCK AWAY AS YOU COULD EVER EVEN IMAGINe. UV: Why did that not send. OA: tHINK IT LIKE YOU FUCKING MEAN It. OA: qUESTION MARk!(edited) OA: bUT WITH A ?. UV: I cannot do exclamation points either. OA: aRE YOU SCREAMING It. OA: pUTTING ALL OF YOUR FUCKING LUNGS INTO It. UV: I can not scream. UV: I am watching my body. OA: 'cAUSE YOU GOT NO MOUTh? OA: hm. UV: My mouth was not removed. UV: I simply can not use it. OA: yEAH, BUT YOU AIN'T GOT ACCESS, COUSIN, THAT'S ALL I MEAn. OA: aCADEMY SLANG. FORGIVE Me. UV: Oh. OA: hmmm. OA: hmmmmm. UV: Comma. UV: SIGH. OA: hEY, LOOK, YOU GOT ALL CAPs. :o) OA: sHIT, I WISH I WAS THERE. YOU TRIED GOING ON THE NET, COUSIn? OA: tRIED STRETCHING OUT YOUR LEGs? UV: I was told not to. OA: OA: OA: mm. UV: Because of viruses. OA: vIRUSES AIN'T NO BIG TO DODGe. OA: wHY, HALF THE ACADEMY BRATS ARE WIRED UP, AND THEY AIN'T NABBING VIRUSES LEFT AND RIGHt. OA: jUST DON'T GO TOUCHIN' NOTHING YOU DON'T WANT TOUCHIN' YOu. UV: I am in the bureau intranet. UV: It is quite vast. OA: hUh. UV: I will be able to integrate with ships. UV: Why are my messages appearing elsewhere. OA: i AM SO JEALOUS, I COULD FUCKING SPIt. OA: dON'T SUPPOSE I COULD COME TAKE A GANDER AT YOUR SETUp? OA: gOT RULES AND SHIt. OA: sHAMe. OA: aND 'CAUSE YOU AIN'T SURE WHAT YOU'RE DOING, COUSIN, THAT'S ALl. OA: oR OUR LOCAL FUCKING MODERATOR'S FINALLY GOT MALWARE INTO HIS poor, poor little pan. :o) UV: Let me borrow the speaker system to ask. UV: Oh. UV: I forgot to turn off audio again. UV: Feedback. OA: nAH. YOU'RE LEAKING, SURE AS SALt. UV: Incorrect. UV: My other chat room i do not leak. OA: bECAUSE IT'S THE INTRANET, COUSIN. WHY, THEY GOT YOU WIRED STRAIGHT INTO THAT SHIT. IS IT ANY WONDER YOU FIND IT EASy? OA: tHIS IS THE FUCKING INTERNEt. OA: gOTTA SAY, MAYBE IT is FOR THE BEST, YOU KEEP YOUR ASS OFF THE MAINWAYs.(edited) UV: I suppose not. UV: I have not considered it before. MH: But it looks like I'm banned from lowbloods right now. UV: The main internet seems. UV: Oh. OA: ! OA: lu? OA: :o? OA: wHAT THE FUCk. OA: hOW THE FUCk - OA: wHAT SORT OF HAVOC YOU WRECKING, COUSIn? OA: yOU TRYING TO GO DIGGINg? UV: I did not do that. UV: I am offended you thought i would dig. OA: iT WAS ANOTHER JOKe. :o) OA: dON'T START FUSSING, COUSIN. YOU ARE THE FINEST MOTHERFUCKER I HAVE MEt. OA: tHE MOST STRAIGHT-LACED OF MOTHERFUCKERs. UV: My apologies. UV: I think i find jokes harder to determine like this. OA: bUT AS IS, YOU'RE PERFECTLY FUCKING UPSTANDINg.(edited) OA:(edited) OA: wELL, SHIT, IT ATE MY MESSAGE. HOLD On. OA: iF YOU WERE LACED ANY TIGHTER, SHIT WOULD BE ruinous. BREAKING BONES. RUINING PANS. CUTTING OFF ALL SORTS OF BITS THAT A MOTHERFUCKER MIGHT NEED, ALL WILLY-NILLY, WITH NO CONSIDERATION FOR A SINGLE FUCKING THINg. OA: bUT AS IS, YOU'RE PERFECTLY FUCKING UPSTANDINg. OA: aND DON'T YOU WORRY NONE ABOUT MY JAPEs. :o) UV: It sent to my other private conversation. OA: OA: :o? OA: hOW MANY CONVOS YOU GOT running? UV: Two private ones. UV: Another chat room. UV: Highblood and general chat. UV: Delete. UV: Sigh. MH: Tell Riccin I say hi. UV: Images are strange to look at like this. UV: Look is the wrong word. OA: hUh. OA: yOU TALKING TO LU? SHIt. OA: yOU OUGHT TO SEE IF WE CAN TURN THIS INTO A PROPER THREESOME, COUSIn. OA: sHE HOPS OVER HERE, I HOP OVER THERE, DON'T SEE WHY NOt. OA: jUST, Mm.(edited) OA: sHOVE AT THE WALLS A LITTLe? UV: I am unsure how much shoving i can do. OA: wHY NOT GIVE IT A TRy? :o) UV: I am unsure. UV: Oh. UV: That is. OA: OA: :o? :o??? UV: If i JUST. -unruffledVanquisher has started trolling mistingHafgufa [MH]!- MH: OA: ! MH: What. UV: Success. MH: Is this glitching again. MH: Because now I can see Riccin. OA: nAH, SISTER, JUST GOT VADAYA HERE TO THROW AROUND SOME FUCKING WEIGHt. OA: hOW SWEET IS THIS SHIt? MH: What the hell did he do? UV: It was not weight. MH: I feel like this isn't how the chat should be. MH: I'm not complaining but. MH: What. MH: I think ID closed the other chat. MH: Between just me and you Vadaya. UV: Oh. MH: .... They're letting me stay in highblood chat though. OA: wHAT? FUCKEr. OA: bIASED MOTHERFUCKEr. OA: tELL HIM TO LET ME INTO THE HIGHBLOOD CHAt. OA: dON'T SEE WHY I SHOULDN'T GET TO GET MY BUSINESS IN THERE, TOo. UV: At least he did not close this chat. MH: He gave me permission to stay, do I want to lose my own permission by trying to bother him for it? No. He's fickle. MH: Sorry Riccin, you're going to have to fight him yourself.(edited) MH: Or wait for a window to open. Apparently that's how others are getting in. MH: That's how I got in, and apparently I lost my lowblood privileges too. OA: :o( OA: fINE. I'LL GO FIGHT OUR PINK FUCKING OGLIARCH. WHY NOt? OA: gET MYSELF ALL UP AND BANNED, JUST 'CAUSE HE'S ALWAYS GOT TO GO PLAYIN' FAVORITES WITH THE rusts. MH: Then wait for a window. UV: Windows. UV: Yes. OA: bOO ON BOTH OF YOu. OA: uh.(edited) OA: 'kAy. UV: Boo. OA: hm. UV: Boo. OA: hOW LONG YOU TWO KNOWN EACH OTHEr? OA: sHIT, HOW WELL YOU TWO KNOW EACH OTHEr? :o) OA: dON'T YOU BOO AT ME, MOTHERFUCKEr. OA: i AM BOOING AT YOu. MH: Hahaha. MH: We chat on and off. OA: hUh. UV: Correct. OA: sO YOU AIN'T FLESH PALS, HUh? OA: OA: rEGULAR OL' FUCKING BOSOM BUDDIEs? OA: wHAT YOU TALK ABOUt? UV: Chess. MH: MH: Never say flesh pals again. OA: :o( UV: Oh. MH: Sometimes we play chess. MH: Sometimes we talk about books. MH: It's on and off. OA: hUh. OA: wHAT KIND OF BOOKS, GIRl? OA: sHIT, IS EVERY MOTHERFUCKER HERE ALL UP ON THE READINg? OA: gOT YOUR NOSE IN THE PAGEs? MH: ....Yes? MH: I read a lot on war tactics and the like. I also read a lot of engineering books. UV: Yes. UV: I recommend books and we speak about ones that we have both read. OA: sWEET MESSIAHs. OA: dUNNO WHY EVERY MOTHERFUCKER I KNOW'S SUCH A GODDAMN NE MH: ...Nerd? OA: nUANCED LITERATe. OA: nAh. MH: Uh huh. OA: wHY WOULD I SAY NERd? OA: gIRL, THAT SHIT's MEAn. OA: sTONE COLd. OA: uN FUCKING NECCESSARy. :o) MH: Yes. It is. OA: ha. UV: I have been called worse than nerd. MH: Have you? MH: What have people called you? UV: A troll without a personality. OA: MH: Why? OA: wHAT SORT OF MOTHERFUCKER WOULD EVEN PULL THAT SHIt? MH: That's stupid. UV: To be cruel. UV: I imagine. OA: dID YOU SET THEM RIGHT? CLOCK 'EM IN THE SNOUt? UV: No. UV: I did not damage them. UV: I sometimes think they wish i would damage them. MH: Why not indulge them. UV: Unprofessional. MH: If they have the spine to go around picking fights, then maybe they - ah. OA: nAH, NAH, HE'S GOT A POINt. OA: iNDULGE THEM, AND LET THEM GO WEEPING BACK TO THEIR CLADE? WRINGING THEIR FINGERS? KNITTING THEIR GODDAMN BROWS? PUTTING ON A SHOw? OA: aIN'T NO NEED FOR ALL OF THAt. OA: wHY NOT HAVE SOMEONE ELSE DO IT, COUSIn? MH: That's true. MH: Though it might not help the situation. UV: I do not think that would stop them. MH: Because if someone off the streets comes up and hits them, they won't even know why they're getting hit. UV: Have you done such a thing before:question: UV: MH: That's great. MH: Have I done such a thing as pay someone to hit someone else for me? Or hit someone for saying things about me? OA: oH, COUSIN, I HAVE HIT FOLKS FOR TALKING SHIT TO THEIR BETTERS ALL THE GODDAMN TIMe.(edited) OA: mIGHT AS WELL SAY IT'S A HOBBY, AT THIS POINt. MH: I've hit people for it too. MH: Sometimes wigglers won't learn not to touch fire unless they get burned. OA: nO HARM TO IT. WHY, IT'S PRACTICALLY A FUCKING service. MH: They get a warning, then they get the consequences of not listening to that warning. UV: I understand. UV: I have never considered it. UV: Mostly i just ignore them. MH: You said you don't say hit them because it's unprofessional. Are they a coworker? UV: Of sorts. OA: a MOTHERFUCKER GOES SPILLING THAT TEA ON YOU AGAIN, COUSIN, JUST GIVE A HOLLEr. OA: iT AIN'T UNPROFESSIONAL IF someone else GOES STRIKING THEm. :o) UV: I would not wish to get you in trouble. UV: But. MH: Well. I think I heard that you're head of your group, correct? MH: Can't you file a formal complaint? Or disciplinary action? MH: I think that went into general, Vadaya. UV: It did. UV: It is complicated. MH: Huh. MH: Sorry to hear that then. MH: They sound like an asshole. OA: eh. OA: wHAT TROUBLE CAN I GET INTO? I'M IMPERIAL, COUSIN. AIN'T NOBODY HOLDING MY LEASH, BUT MY PROCTOR HER FUCKING SELf. OA:(edited) OA: wHAT TROUBLE CAN I GET INTO, COUSIN? :o) I'M IMPERIAl. MH: I'd also offer to hit them but unfortunately, I am not imperial. MH: I doubt a backwater hick like me striking an Imperial will go down well. MH: So you'll have to take my support instead. OA: nOW, GIRL, DON'T YOU GO DOWNPLAYING It. OA: pRETTY THING LIKE YOu? OA: wHY, JUST SAY THE WORD, AND EVERY KIND OF MOTHERFUCKER WOULD JUMP THROUGH A FLAMING GODDAMN hoop, JUST TO net YOUR approval. ;o) OA: nEVER MIND YOUR support. UV: Oh. UV: You are pretty? MH: MH: Thanks. OA: OA: nAH, SHE'S DUMPY AS FUCK, I'M JUST PLAYIn'. UV: You are aware. UV: How? OA: uh. OA: i THOUGHT SHE WAS THE WRONG KIND OF GAL, THAT'S ALl. OA: sHIT, WEREN'T YOU THERE FOR THAt? OA: aLL SORTS OF UNFORTUNATE GODDAMN MISTAKEs. OA: fELT LIKE A RIGHT AND PROPER CHUMP, MIXING UP EVERY HUE OF RUSt. OA: OA: hEY, YOU GOT YOUR NOODLES ON, COUSIn. :o) UV: Hmm. UV: Yes. UV: I did. OA: wELL. THAT'S FUCKING WICKEd. OA: um.(edited) OA: rEAL WICKEd. MH: Indeed. MH: So what are you up to today Riccin? I know Vadaya is doing his certification. working. What about you?(edited) OA: hIDING FROM THE LEGIs. MH: Smart plan. OA: gOT SOME HARDWARE GLITCHES GOING ON WITH THE HANDHELDs. OA: sO I AM FUCKING free, IF I KEEP MY HEAD BOWED LOw. :o) OA: ha. OA: aIN'T IT JUSt? MH: From what I saw of the legis you HAVE been working with, they're a trashfire. MH: I can't imagine what it's like to work with DS. UV: Oh. UV: Them. MH: The trashfire. MH: I find it hard to respect someone like that, if I'm honest. OA: oH, COME, NOW, AIN'T NO NEED TO START DRAGGIn'. OA: bROTHER IS THE MOST USELESS SHADE OF MOTHERFUCKER, BUT HE'S A SUBJUG, THROUGH AND THROUGh. OA: sUPPOSE IT'S MY place TO BOW MY HEAD, TAKE THE SHIT HE LEVIEs. OA: aIN'T It? MH: I mean. I guess. MH: But I don't believe people in authority should have that authority if they haven't earned it. MH: Authority is authority but it defeats the purpose if the person who has authority can't MH: MH: Well, I won't start dragging. MH: I have my feelings on it, but I'll keep them to myself. UV: Yes. UV: Lets not argue about such things. UV: It is not every night we have what amounts to our own private chat. UV: No need to waste it with debate. MH: Exactly. OA: hm. OA: wELl. OA: tHAT'S TRUe. :o) OA: bUT YOU KNOW ME. I AM JUST SO AWFULLY mealy-mouthed WHEN YOU HAUL ME OUT IN PUBLIC LIKE THIS SHIt. OA: wHAT THE FUCK CAN WE EVEN TALK ABOUT IN HERe? UV: I am uncertain. UV: I have no idea. UV: You wanted to see about making a threesome chat. UV: So i did. OA: OA: ha. OA: sO I DID, AND YOU SO KINDLY OBLIGEd. :o) OA: wELL, SHIT, Uh. OA: yOU MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA SEE THE ISE OFFICe? OA: aIN'T EXACTLY HEADQUARTERs. OA: bUT SHIT, I CAN GIVE YOU THE TOUr. MH: Considering I'm just sitting around on waterfront doing nothing, sure. MH: Since this was Riccin's idea, I say they should be the ones leading the conversation train here. UV: Make sure it does not get broadcasted to the general chat. MH: I can keep an eye out to let you know if any messages slip so you can delete them. OA: aIN'T YOU A FUCKING DEAr. OA: lET ME JUSt - OA: there we fucking go. speech to goddamn text. and they said technology was hard. ha.

-- obstructedAntiquity [OA] has started up a VIDEO CHAT! The camera's actually remarkably crisp, and it goes on a slow pan around the room they're in. It's.. a fairly standard legislacerator dorm, all things considered. There's a picture of the Imperial Symbol standing on the mantle. The ceiling tiles are a fetching shape of neon red. -- -- There's a tealblood on the opposite bed, studiously ignoring them. --

OA: where to first? we got all sorts of spots in here. OA: training rooms, and shit. UV: Why not the training rooms?

-- There's a long jostling pan through the hallways! So much red. SO MUCH RED. Tall, swooping archways, in a tacky, 1920's bank kind of way: it's less utilarian and more clearly repurposed from an older building. The phone pans over a cluster of subjuggulators near a statue, some neophyte legislacerators gossiping near a doorway, someone with a drone on a leash --

OA: wait. wait, shit, which training room? OA: guess we could go snooping on the clowns, cousin. ain't no big. why, pull up my scarf proper, ain't nobody gonna pay no mind. OA: or we could look at the legi's shit. OA: you know they got an actual fucking courtblock? MH: Is that a drone on a leash? MH: Why does someone have a drone on a leash? UV: Hm UV: Why not the Mirthful first? OA: huh. OA: didn't you know, girl? OA: jades fuckin' breed 'em. the little ones. OA: should have that motherfucker on a full harness, though. OA: keep it from going feral on someone. MH: Well, I knew they came from the caverns. But why do they have one. UV: I am sure they can be handy in that line of work. UV: If for the intimidation factor alone. MH: You know what, that's fair.(edited) OA: hahaha. OA: because it's the legis office, sister. imperial.. uh. shit. let me check the sign. OA: OA: imperial social enforcement. we got some cavewretches in here, all dressed up in teal. OA: caverns need their watchdogs, after all. OA: otherwise folks start thinkin' the dark blinds the empire's eyes. OA: and naaaah. MH: Ah. Sounds about right. MH: They hunt rebels and mutants, right? UV: I believe the ise do all sorts of things. UV: Depending on the branch. OA: the two i'm with, yeah. OA: proper fucking hunters. OA: hold up -- OA: aLRIGHT, SWITCHING BACK TO VOICE, THESE CHUCKLEFUCKS DON'T NEED TO KNOW I'M FUCKING NARRATINg. MH: Yeah. MH: Might be for the best.

-- The camera pans as they wander through one door, and into.. the indigo training area. It's very clearly set up for subjuggulators: there's spotted carpets on the ground, enough indigo draped across the walls that it looks like a tent, and recruits in various states of uniform wandering between the stations, and through a pair of open archways in the back. Some are wearing crowns. The center of the room has a pit, and Riccin steps towards it briefly, before treating back to a corner. It's still easy enough to see the stations, though, and the indigoes settling on psi-crowns at them. --

OA: ha. OA: tO SAY THE VERY LEASt. :o) OA: tHEY DO AL SORTS OF SHIT, SISTER. COUNSEL QUADS. HUNT DOWN REBELS. I'M WITH THE HUNTERs. OA: aIN'T NO NEED FOR ME DOING PAPERWORK, OR QUAD COUNSELLING, OR TAXES, OR ANY OF THAT SHIt. OA: iT'D BE A PROPER WASTE OF TALENt. MH: What's up with the trolls at the stations? What are they doing? OA: aIN'T YOU EVER SEEN A GUNNEr? OA: i CAN'T GET TOO NEAR TO TAKE A VID, SISTER, LESS YOU WANT ME SPRINGING A LEAk. OA: yOU PUT ON THE CROWN, SHIT AMPLIFIEs. OA: tESTS YOUR PSYCHIC SHIT, PULLS IT OUT STRAIGHT, AND SEES HOW FAR YOU CAN GO - HOW FAR IT CAN BE pushed - BEFORE THE STRING SNAPs.(edited) UV: I doubt lu has much experience with those sort of thing. UV: Hmmm. MH: I don't. OA: :o? OA: hUh. MH: It's the first time I've seen something like that. MH: Sounds. Interesting. MH: I'm sure it's not as painful as you made it sound to be though. MH: Right? OA: wHAT, PAINFUL FOR THEm? OA: iT'S A STRESS TEST, GIRL, YOU AIN'T GONNA GET NOTHING MORE PAINFUL THAN THAt. OA: aMPLIFIERS ARE THE EMPRESS'S OWN PUNISHMENt. MH: Riccin. I know nothing about psionics or the technology used on them. MH: So you'll have to be patient with me if I sound a bit ignorant. OA: :o? OA: hUh. OA: mY BAD, GIRL. FORGET YOU FUCKERS AIN'T ALL.. EDUCATED ON THIS SHIt. OA: OA: sHIT, GOTTA GO. I'LL FINISH THIS LATEr. OA: oR JUST SEND PICS, HELl. :o)

-- obstructedAntiquity has left the PM! --

UV: Ah. UV: It is probably for the best. UV: I should not have been watching a stream. MH: Aw. MH: Yeah. You've been on a long break haven't you? Or have you been sneaking into the chat this entire time? UV: I have been multitasking. UV: The testing is. UV: Simple. UV: Boring. MH: .... Do you want me to leave you to it or would you like me to stick around? UV: I should focus. UV: I will let you go. MH: Very well. MH: Good luck. I hope it goes well. UV: Thank you.

-unruffledVanquisher [UV] has stopped trolling mistingHafgufa [MH]!-

In the aftermath of the server glitching, Vadaya messages Riccin while helming, and ID pops up to browbeat a perceived saboteur in his server.

-unruffledVanquisher [UV] has started trolling obstructedAntiquity [OA]!-

UV: Good evening comma riccin. UV: Failure again. UV: lol OA: hA. WELL, AT LEAST YOU'RE FUCKING TRYINg. :o) OA: sHIT'S WHAT FUCKING COUNTS. OA:

-unruffledVanquisher [UV] has started trolling obstructedAntiquity [OA]!- -unruffledVanquisher [UV] has started trolling obstructedAntiquity [OA]!- -unruffledVanquisher [UV] is no longer trolling obstructedAntiquity [OA]!- -unruffledVanquisher [UV] has started trolling obstructedAntiquity [OA]!- -unruffledVanquisher [UV] is no longer trolling obstructedAntiquity [OA]!-

UV: What?

- iconicDisquiet [ID] is now trolling unruffledVanquisher [UV] !-

UV: ????? UV: oh what the fuck UV: who is this UV: whats going on ID: You! UV: you! ID: I cannot believe you have the AUDACITY to show up in my server again. ID: After last time! UV: who the hell are you! UV: Ah. UV: ...... oh no theyre squishy ID: No~ooo, space cadet, you've gotten the script all confused! ID: That's what I'm here to ask YOU. UV: Correct. UV: oh no UV: vadaya UV: Why would you use a name at a time like this? ID: D'you think just because you're coming from some dinky little imperial server, sweetheart, you get to swan in here and start testing out your wings? ID: Clipping other folks feathers? ID: ID: Are there two of you in there? ID: Oh, for fuck's sake. ID: It's a handle, darlings, not a clown car! UV: your name has been used all over in conjunction with your handle on the server UV: are you telling me the helm who runs this cant just search your name and boop :heart_exclamation: find you? UV: There are two of us. ID: Lovely! Stupendous! I am just ecstatic with joy, sugargrubs, just flushing pink with it all the way through. ID: Two of you, and you still didn't have the common sense not go trying to punch poor, innocent sysop's, just trying to do their job, right in the horn! UV: alright alright UV: so like UV: My apologies. UV: whats happening now UV: like whats going on here going forward UV: are you coming to yell at us ID: Am I yelling right now? UV: metaphorically UV: I do not think they are yelling. ID: Of course I'm here to yell at you! UV: and there we go UV: I am incorrect. ID: p(●｀□´●)q UV: ..... UV: thats adorable UV: i cant even be mad ID: You are destroying ID: ID: Isn't it just? UV: Ah. UV: That is hard to understand. ID: But, oh, don't think complimenting my emojis will save you from this! (๑•̀д•́๑) UV: view it as a picture not text UV: wait UV: How do you view it as a picture. UV: Question mark. ID: UV: °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖° ID: How are you so bad at this, sugargrub? Good heavens! ID: Just do your head a little tilt and convert it! UV: thats because he IS new UV: why do you think im here ID: I don't know, since it obviously isn't to keep him from punching holes into my server! UV: its all just for shits and giggles UV: i wasnt here for that! UV: That was my first time in the system. UV: My apologies. UV: he had no idea what another helm felt like UV: and now im here! to tell him what to do and not do ID: So you hooked up some poor little wriggler, and promptly set him loose on the internet, to go nipping at my vines, tearing at my wires? UV: well no not you UV: not anyone UV: he did it for shits and giggles ID: My server isn't the testing ground for ID: ID: Oh, well, that's better. UV: I did not do it for. UV: That. UV: hold on hold on UV: okay hold up UV: it was an accident UV: he didnt know what he was doing UV: and now hes supervised! UV: hes expressed a lot of remorse for punching you in the brain and weve yelled at him a lot for it UV: Ellipses. ID: Ellipses indeed! (๑•̀ n •́๑)✧(edited) UV: seriously though i hope he didnt hurt you too hard? UV: i mean with all of this glitch shit going down i cant imagine its really helping ID: He did diddly squat, my little worrywart, except fan the fires of my poor temper. (◞ ‸ ◟ㆀ) ID: And a little hackers in the wires aren't bothering the server, anyway! Or won't be, as soon as I move it somewhere a little more secure than this lovely little hellplanet. UV: I am glad that i did not damage you. ID: But I'll tell you want, Vadaya, my grapeblossom. If you promise - absolutely promise! cross your pumpbiscuit and hope to die! - not to pull such complete, raucous bullshit again in my server, then I won't ban you, and every other schmuck connecting from a helmsport, how's that? UV: me too (;´Д`) ID: Or you, and your clowncar mentor. (╯︵╰,) ID: I was getting there! UV: no that wasn't what i was me too-ing about UV: the i'm glad you didn't get hurt thing UV: thats a fair warning though UV: Grapeblossom. UV: I understand. UV: I will not cause damage to the server again. UV: It was reckless and inconsiderate of me to push on the server to begin with. ID: It was! ID: Imagine if I was in space when you did that! Why, who knows what sort of business I do? What sort of ship I might be piloting? ID: You could've caused frontline deaths, elderberry, and then where would we be? UV: shit outta luck (´ཀ`」 ∠) (edited) ID: Overtaken by Steelborn, and eaten alive by their fetid, horrible young! ಥ ^ ಥ ID: And it would've been all your fault. ID: Think about that! UV: (-@Д@) UV: Mentor. UV: You are not helping right now. UV: Those emoticons are distracting. UV: I understand. UV: ive realized i have not been sending them at the speed needed so i will stop UV: I am probably slowing you. UV: My apologies. UV: dw about it UV: o o o ohh you asshole :anger: (howfuckingdareyou) UV: (ಠ ∩ಠ) UV: I wanted to stop slowing you. UV: ლಠ益ಠ)ლ ID: Well! This is delightful, and bizarre. (´-ω-`) ID: Why are you duel-piloting, dears? ID: What's your spaceship classification? UV: nnnnnoneeee UV: Ellipses. UV: shits shits shits shits and giggles :rofl: UV: Sorry ゞ◎Д◎ヾ I'm terrible ble ble ble bleeee at keeping my words straight UV: doesnnnn n n n n't translate over well (idiotwaskeepingmestable) UV: Mentor has a hard time keeping his thoughts straight. UV: fraid i think more in tangents and pictures than straight words(edited) UV: That is why i am here. UV: practice makes perfect UV: he figures out not to punch people in the head and i figure out how to get my shit sorted ID: Well, alright! ID: I'd ask further, but I just don't think I need to know. Especially now that you've got me feeling all bad for you. ヾ( ￣O￣)ツ ID: What is it, burnout? UV: Classified. ID: You just punched me in the brain! UV: Mentor did not. UV: He is the classified one. UV: whats burnout? how messed up my text is? ID: Yes, yes, that. UV: Quiet MENTOR. ID: No need to go hushing him! ヾ(`ヘ´)ﾉﾞ Why, we're just having ourselves a friendly conversation. ID: I could go rummaging on your connection, much like someone went rummaging through my server, but instead, we're just drinking our metaphorical tea, making ourselves a pleasant little time of things, because we are civilized. UV: Ellipses. UV: its fine UV: its been a busy night - probably not as busy as yours buuuuuuut i think were almost up on our alloted shits and giggles time??? UV: what time is it UV: I did not want you to become stressed comma MENTOR. ID: Hahaha. ID: Time for you to go, obviously. (个_个) ID: So sad! Have a safe trip back! Try not to trip on anyone else on the network on your way out. (｡•́︿ ~ ｡)(edited) UV: we understand your terms and conditions though and we do promise we're not going to go around and mess up your stuff. UV: (☍﹏⁰) ID: Well, gosh golly, as long as you promise. UV: so maybe we can all still enjoy ourselves while being respectful of the boundaries around us?? UV: (✿ヘᴥヘ) UV: we won't bother you a bit! i'll make sure of it! (ﾉﾟ▽ﾟ)ﾉ ID: There you have it! (๑˘︶˘๑) Respect my boundaries, and I'll respect yours, darling. ID: Now shoo! UV: we're shooing! ID: Don't make yourself strangers! UV: Farewell. UV: ヾ(☆▽☆)

-unruffledVanquisher [UV] is no longer trolling iconicDisquiet [ID]!-

ID checks back in on Vadaya, curious to see if he can pry out what the deal is with this indigo helm:

-- iconicDisquiet [ID] is now messaging unruffledvanquisher [UV]! --

ID: You know what? I was just sitting here, looking over my to do list, figuring out what a busy fellow like me was going to do with his evening, when I thought to myself - ID: Why, ID, you scoundrel! You haven't checked in on the little space cadet in weeks, and weeks, and weeks! (╯^╰) ID: And here I was, meaning to see how you were doing absolute ages ago. A pox on my bloodline, blueberry, because I have done wrong. But rending my garments won't fix that! Sometimes you just have to say: well, gosh, and move right on. ID: So how are you? （＾ω＾）(edited) UV: Ah. UV: Well. A busy. Fellow does not always have time for such minor things. UV: I would not call you a scoundrel for it. UV: But I would not call myself a space cadet either. UV: I am. Well. And... Yourself? ID: Oh, you wouldn't? You could just colour me pink, I am so flattered. ID: Should I be saying helm cadet? ( ~ ω・) UV: Mmm. I can not stop you from calling me anything. UV: But I would prefer my name. ID: Do you think just because I own this server, I know everyone's names on here? ╭∩╮ ID: I'm wounded, blueberry. I do do more things than just reading people's chats! Why, especially when they're so uninteresting. UV: My apologies. Mentor used it in our last. Conversation. UV: I was unaware that you had forgotten. ID: Oh? ID: I assumed you wouldn't go using a real name in that sort of conversation, that's all! (•ω•) But, why, if that's the case.. ID: My night is positively swell, Vadaya. ID: And thank you kindly for asking! o(〃＾▽＾〃)o UV: Mentor is. A bit scattered. And difficult to reign in at times. ID: Is that so? Poor thing! Well, I'm sure the two of you will get the hang of it, right as rain. ID: Helming isn't too hard, after the first few tries! ('▽')♪ ID: How is it treating you so far? Easier now than it was at first? ( ~ • ^ ) UV: Correct. It was just a matter of learning the ropes. UV: I apologize again for my error against you. ID: Oh, there's no need to apologise a second time! I'm just checking in on the name of solidarity, Vadaya. ID: Us helms have to stick together, don't we? (¯ u￣๑) ID: It's practically the foundation of our little community! We have to guide every fresh new wriggler to the interweb, just to ensure they don't go doing anything too foolish!(edited) ID: But stars and garters, it's so nice to hear you're picking it up! I was just awfully worried at first about how you were going to manage. UV: ...Yes, well. UV: I have Mentor now. Who has been doing their duty well. There is no need to concern yourself with me. UV: As you said. You are a busy troll. There is no need to put more on your plate by worrying about me. ID: Oh, don't you worry about me worrying! I'm like a furry mammalian predecessor to every pupa on my chat, and you are all as dear to me as my very own hypothetical, hideous offspring. Worrying is just the burden I bear! ID: If it weren't over you, why, it'd be over the disquieting sort of shenanigans people get up to in general. (￣^￣;) Fermented eggs. Really! ID: So, Vadaya, my blueberry, how long have you been rigging up? UV: Your chat is mainly pupas. And you do not seem to worry too heavily over them. I believe I have seen you more in private chats like this than I have in actual chats. UV: I would rather not discuss it. ID: No? Did I step onto an NDA? ╮(╯▽╰)╭ ID: I didn't think they usually gave folks of your caste pan nannies! ID: And nonsense! I'm in plenty. When I need to be. (｡･ω･｡) UV: Incorrect. I simply do not wish to speak about it. UV: No need for a nanny. UV: My apologies then. To an untrained eye, and the murmurings of the chat itself, you seem absent. ID: Oh? No, no, I should be the one apologising, then! I didn't mean to go stepping on your toes - why, it's just usually the first thing people share. Ship codes, time rigging, pilot details.. ID: Are you equally clammed up on those, too? ╮(╯▽╰)╭ UV: Usually one introduces themselves before they ask about the other. ID: Why, you want my name? UV: Just trying to maintain good manners. ID: Well, gee whillickers. What would I do if a little sprout like you wasn't here to remind me of those? ID: Would you believe my first name is Iconic? (•ω•) UV: I would wonder if you were from Barcino. ID: Oh, a shot to the heart! ID: (╥﹏╥) ID: Not at all, dearheart! Why, I have a perfectly respectable last name, rest assured, but I think manners says that a highblooded troll like yourself is supposed to do the honor of sharing that first. (≧u≦) UV: I was unaware that coming from Barcino was such an insult. UV: I think we are fine with staying on a first name only basis. ID: Were you really? ID: Why, then that's good! You've learned something tonight. ╰(´︶`)╯ But hopefully that won't be the only thing you learn. Pull out your notebook, Vadaya, I have some advice, straight from my own glorious mentor, back when I was first hooking up. And, if you can just believe it, she practically built the tech. ﾍ(￣▽￣*)ﾉ ID: Or do you think you've got it all already? Why, it has been practically perigees and perigees. ID: You might be a bonafide expert! ( ° △ °) UV: How prestigious. UV: You must be an important helm. UV: I am certainly no expert, but I am learning well enough. I have plenty of guides, you do not need to concern yourself with offering more advice. UV: I am sure you have much more critical things to focus your energy on. ID: Why, Vadaya, I bet I'm only as important as you. ʕ•v•ʔ ID: And nonsense! Like I said before: the most important thing is making sure our fellows know what they're doing. Offer up some advice! Lead them on the right path! ID: Smooth over little things before they happen, just because no one warned you it's impolite to go slinging fists. ╰(´︶`)╯ UV: ...Honestly, you do not need to worry about it. UV: I was made aware of my mistake. And I am glad that you and the server have not suffered any long lasting effects from it. ID: Maybe I want to worry about it! Why, you and I and your mentor are the only helms on this entire little server. ID: I thought we could share some camadery. ︶︿︶ ID: Maybe even plant a seed of friendship, given your awfully kind concern about my servers well-being. ID: And mine. ID: So generous! ╮(╯▽╰)╭ UV: Incorrect. UV: There is The-Beat-of-an-Egret’s-Wings-as-it-Breaks-into-Flight-From-the-Shore. ID: Oh? UV: Perhaps you could offer them your advice. They did not seem very. Happy. ID: And what handle is that, Vadaya? (￣▽￣) Why, I can't believe I missed a big relevation like that! UV: Can you not find it on your own? UV: I am sure you were occupied with other more important things at the time. ID: I could, but I thought you might know off hand, if you typed up her entire ship name. ︶︿︶ ID: And I'm a little occupied right now! I'm just making time in my schedule to talk to you, on account of our solidarity, but I have some naughty wriggler on the line, getting a scolding even as we speak. ID: But if you don't know, why, I suppose I can just go look.. UV: My apologies. I am unsure of how you run your server. I did not think it was much of a task to look someone UV: UV: Okay, which one of the wrigglers is this? UV: You can be pink on this chat room? UV: A bit garish really. ID: I do work a job outside of this server, you know! ￣へ￣ Don't most of us? ID: And ID: - oh! A new face! ID: Why, hello, there. UV: Yes yes, hello to you too. UV: Can we wrap up whatever business is going on here? UV: We're a bit busy. ID: Why, sure thing! ID: I'll just make sure to let Vadaya know how Egret's holding up later, since they were so worried. ฅ'ω'ฅ ID: Have a good night of.. well, whatever business you're getting up to!

-- iconicDisquiet [ID] is no longer messaging unruffledvanquisher [UV]! --

Another night, another try: ID pries for more information, only somewhat successfully.

-- iconicDisquiet [ID] is now trolling unruffledVanquisher [UV]! --

ID: Vadaya! ID: Are my little eyes fooling me, or is someone plugged in? ʕ•^•ʔ ID: I guess you could just be switching things up. Stretching out your fronds. Trying out a new quirk! ID: But that sure does look like the sort of talk you get from pupa's first speech-to-pan. UV: Elipses. UV: If i am disturbing anything and i was unaware of it. UV: I will leave. ID: Disturbing things? No, not at all. ID: Why, Steamy's having just about the best night of her perigee out there, chattering about all this techno junk. (๑˘︶˘๑) ID: I was just curious! UV: Well she seems to have. UV: Fallen asleep now. UV: I believe. UV: Curious about what? ID: She does that, poor dear. ID: If you were plugged in to chat, sugargrub! If you've got a cord in your neck, or spine, or forehead, letting you send all of these twee little messages straight from your pan to my monitor. ( ˙꒳​˙ )(edited) UV: I believe you answered that question yourself. UV: If you did not believe that i was plugged in. UV: You would not have contacted me about it. UV: Correct? ID: Maybe I was just looking to get some validation! You know what they say about assumptions, Vadaya. ID: Nothing good ever comes out of those. ID: So, on the topic of questions: if you're really plugged in, and you're really indigo - ID: - which I'm sure a good, upstanding kind of bloke like you definitely is - (o´v`o) ID: - does that mean you're one of those fancy new bootleg psis? ID: Because I have to say, I just wasn't ever expecting to see one of you make it all the way out to the field. ID: Good job, space cadet! ( ❛ᴗ❛ ) UV: Of course i am indigo, i UV: Elipses. UV: Apostrophe bootleg apostrophe? UV: I am not a space cadet. UV: Either. ID: See, I knew you were an honest fellow! ID: It's just something about your face, sweetheart. (▔◡▔) ID: And no? Not a cadet? ID: All helmscapable pupas are cadets, dearheart, unless we went and changed up our structure while I wasn't looking. ID: Which I guess is possible! Why, there's nothing like a commander getting ideas to go and make everything confusing for us poor common folk. (╯︵╰,) UV: Noise of disgust. UV: I am not a. UV: Bootleg anything. UV: I hope this has helped sate your curiosity. ID: Oh, well! ID: It's not that I'm doubting you, dear, but - are you positively sure about that? Not just pulling my frond for the sake of pulling? ID: Because I just know the Carnifex's paying for some cobalts to come through. Some indigoes, too, if they can finally figure out the right measurements. ID: Why, the last one they tried, they cracked her poor pan open, set her all up, and then went and got the temperature wrong. UV: Elipses. UV: You seem to know quite a lot about these things. ID: Hahaha. ID: Well, gosh, do I? ID: What can I say! ID: Just between the two of us, I'm a pretty important fellow. (~ ω •) UV: I understand. UV: It must keep you busy. UV: Perhaps i should let you go so you can focus on it. ID: Oh, you don't have to scamper on my account! All the shrines are keeping my office all tied up, with nothing to do. ID: It's downright tragic, that's what it is. (ˇヘˇ) ID: You sure you're not one of Shep dear's little projects? Hatched out of the slurry, all right and proper? UV: I am not a project. UV: And certainly not of SHEP. UV: Shep. UV: Sigh. UV: I was hatched as i am. ID: Hmm. ID: Hmmm. ID: Hmmmm. ID: Well, I guess you'd be the one to know, sugarplum. ID: And if you were one of her little gene projects, why, you'd be at the institute, not at.. wherever they've placed someone as unique as you! UV: Yes. UV: I would. UV: Is that all you were curious about? ID: Of course! ID: Thank you just for being so awfully obliging. UV: Elipses. UV: Of course. ID: Don't think I've forgotten you wanted me to talk to mister Egret, by the way! ID: Why, I never forget anything. (´｡• ᵕ ~｡`) ID: I'll be sure to let you know how that goes, sugarplum, but in the meanwhile - why, have fun with your little helming. ID: And ta!

-- iconicDisquiet [ID] is no longer messaging unruffledVanquisher [UV]! --

Another night, ID checks in with Vadaya again:

-- iconicDisquiet [ID] is now messaging unruffledVanquisher [UV]! --

ID: Hey there, elderberry! UV: Oh. UV: It is you. ID: Well! UV: Good evening. ID: What a way to greet a fellow. ( T ^ T)(edited) UV: oh look it's you again!!! :heart:⃛ヾ(๑❛ ▿ ◠๑ ) ID: Here I came bearing news and greetings for my favorite helm, and I get - it's you. ( ˙ ^˙ ) UV: what a delight it is to see you! ID: Oh! It's you! ID: My other favorite helm, bless your little biscuit. (〃＾▽＾〃) UV: I doubt we are your favorites. UV: what's going on now, did something happen again? ꒰๑•̥﹏•̥๑꒱ UV: c〳 ݓ ﹏ ݓ 〵੭ ID: Oh, space cadet, why would you go saying that? ID: Have I gone and given you the wrong sort of impression? (╯︵╰,) UV: well!! UV: the only other time i saw you was when dear sweet poor vadaya here had come and caused you some bodily harm! how could i not assume the worst?? (´；ω；`) UV: I did accidentally assault you. UV: It does not usually endear a troll to another. UV: What news did you have? ID: Oh, but we are so far past that, dearheart. Why, didn't I tell you before, when we were nattering on about poor little Egret? ID: Us helms have to stick together! UV: ╰(✧∇✧╰) UV: Dearheart. ID: I can't call you both elderberry, when only the one of you's indigo. ID: It's just not right! UV: and how do you know we're not both a delicious shade of elderberry ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡ ID: Statistics, mostly.! ╮( ︶▽ ´)╭ ID: Vadaya here already said he's not one of Shep's little pet projects. So, why, what're the odds that there's two of you, going about, getting all strapped in? ID: Though, gosh, I guess you could be a pair of gunners. UV: へ[ •́ ‸ •̀ ]ʋ do i really not seem like I can be??? UV: We are getting distracted from this. UV: News. UV: (๑◕︵◕๑) ID: Well! Anyway. I've moved on past the whole little punching business. We ought to be friends! ID: Goodness only knows there aren't a lot of us on here. ╮(︶▽︶)╭ ID: And right, right, the news.(edited) ID: How could I ever forget? ID: Have you two met our exciting new fellow? ID: The delightful Overseer? UV: the who ID: We have an Overseer now! All offishial, if you know what I mean. UV: don't you mean UV: offishoal(edited) ID: Perfect! ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡ UV: (ง ͡ʘ ͜ʖ ͡ʘ)ง UV: Ellipses. UV: I have already been speaking with the overseer. ID: Oh! Is that so? ID: Are the two of you already practically bosom buddies, then? UV: Incorrect. UV: But i am aware of his existence. ID: Hmmm. ID: Hm, hm, hmmm. ID: Well! ID: If you are, that makes things awfully easy. ID: Vadaya, how would you feel about doing me a little bit of a favour? ╰(´︶`) UV: What kind of favor. UV: 【・_・?】 UV: ɾ◉⊆◉ɹ are you trying to network through us? UV: ⍨⃝ ID: ID: I feel like that little thing warrants a star for effort, dearheart, or a suggestion to maybe not drink and helm? ID: One of the two! ID: And not at all, my little bundle of grapes. (・`ω´・) UV: ٩̋(ˊ•͈ ꇴ •͈ˋ)و UV: I think it is better than mentors second one. UV: That does not look much like a face. UV: Σ(‘◉⌓◉’) ID: If I was networking, why, I'd have to go much higher than just some stodgy little overseer. ID: And go a little stronger than some internet chatroom! ID: No, no. ID: If you're just wiling away the hours, nattering away with him anyway, though, why - it's no velvet off your horns to just ring a bell if anyone starts getting a little too antsy at him, now, is it? (҂ `з´ ) ID: .. and that's not a face, that's a computer. (＃￣ω￣) UV: You are asking me to moderate his interactions. UV: Ellipses. UV: For you. UV: i bet you could!! you're nothing but sweet silver tongue and absolutely as sweet as pie (灬ºωº灬)♡ ID: Moderating suggests you'd have to intervene! There's no need for you to go playing clubs, when that's us moderators jobs. UV: us??? is there more of you?? (•̀o•́) ID: I'm just asking you to ring a bell, that's all. ID: And aww, aren't you just the sweetest little thing? (｡・// ᵕ //・｡) I'm just tickled pink you've got so much gosh darn confidence in me. ID: Especially because, why, I can't exactly disagree. (・`ω´・) ID: But I've already got one queen! I don't think she'd like it much if I went schmoozing with overseers. ID: .. of course there's more of me! ID: Haven't you seen mini-me? (･ω UV: a queen! Σ(゜ロ゜;) UV: Mentor meant are there more moderacullers. UV: Are there? ID: So many questions! ID: You never struck me as the curious sort, sugarplum. UV: Not as many answers. UV: we're a curious bunch! ˓˓ ⍥⃝⃝ ˒˒ ID: Why so curious? (￣ω￣) UV: You have asked questions of me in the past. UV: I thought it was polite to show interest back. ID: Well, who went and told you that? (o´ω`o) ID: Our darling CC is one of the moderacullers! UV: Is it best to ask questions revolving more around you? ID: Haha, oh my goodness gracious. Are we that sort of friends, now? ID: And here I was worrying you were feeling all bothered!(edited) UV: Well. UV: Perhaps not friends. UV: But for who told me to ask questions. UV: ID: Oh? No, no, I should be the one apologising, then! I didn't mean to go stepping on your toes - why, it's just usually the first thing people share. Ship codes, time rigging, pilot details.. UV: My apologies. UV: I asked the wrong questions. UV: What is your ship code? ID: Well, those are the more typical sort of questions. ID: But there's no need to go and get feisty on me. Quoting my words back at me! (`n ´) ID: Who says I have a ship?(edited) UV: (｡☬０☬｡) then where are you helming from?! ID: Space! ID: Same as you, isn't that right? (=`ω´=) ID: Or are you planet-bound? ID: ID: Why, am I talking to genuine wrigglers? UV: You are not speaking to wrigglers. UV: We are in space. UV: What are you operating? ID: The chat, mostly. ☆⌒(ゝ。∂) ID: Tell you what, I'm answering an awful lot of questions here, but you still haven't answered mine. UV: I just answered two of your questions. ID: The first, dearheart, about ringing the bell! UV: I will attempt to contact you if anyone seems to be distressing the overseer. ID: Perfect. (´• ω •`) ID: Well! Sounds like we're all wrapped up over here, then, unless you've got more questions? ID: Why, I guess that's only fair, to give you pit for pat like that. UV: Thoughtful noise. UV: Mentor? UV: (๑°艸°๑) what's your name?? clearly we MUST have a name that we can call you!! UV: unless you told vadaya but not me?? ID: Haha, oh, gosh, I did! UV: (ノ﹏ヽ) ID: So I'm afraid you'll just have to ask him! ID: And in the meanwhile, there's your question, so: ID: Until next time! UV: ꒰๑•̥﹏•̥๑꒱ but wait! UV: what if i want to come chatting again?(ఠ్ఠ ˓̭ ఠ్ఠ) ID: ID: Why, that's adorable. ID: My handle's right there, you goopy-eyed rascal. UV: so i have permission?! ID: Of course! Never let it be said I'm not a magnamious ogliarch. UV: gasp!!!!!!!! UV: Magnanimous oligarch. ID: ID:

-- iconicDisquiet [ID] has stopped messaging unruffledVanquisher [UV]! --

[nomorelonelydays]

Hello my name is Angst Goblin and I'm here to share some OoTP HP crossover AU pain because I am thinking about it and hurting? First, like, if Geno had been good-hearted and generally upstanding for most of his time at Hogwarts, he'd probably have to see/do WAY TOO MUCH bad shit just to prove he was committed to being a Death Eater and the communicates with Sid and the Order by having his parents direct the magically encrypted letters back and forth but it's not having Sid there to (1/9)

to comfort him in bed when the memories of screams get too loud or to rub between his shoulders when he feels so sick with what he's done to try and end the war that he can't keep his food down. Whenever Geno can sneak away, it's basically an official Order thing that everyone makes their best home-cooked meals and brings pictures of their kids if they have any and it's everyone trying so hard to bring a little bit of warmth to him. And he'll always be glued to Sid. And I can totally (2/9)

picture Harry being invited at some point and asking Geno like... how are you a Slytherin cause after talking to you for a good hour it's kind of hard to see??? And Geno jokes "Is because you never see me play quidditch," but after some laughs things get a little quiet and he admits that he wants people to be able to live a life where they're safe and free, his eyes linger on Sid softly when he says he doesn't like bullies, and then finishes up by saying that he'd kill every last Death (3/9)

Eater tomorrow without blinking an eye if the timing was right (with this taking place before Voldemort decided to get real sick and start getting to accept the Dark Mark because Geno draws the line at kids). And kind of a separate idea, but within the same scheme of things: while all the arrests of Voldemort's followers are going down the first time, Ovi very quietly informs the Order (sans Nicky) that with the intel they have, any number of the illegal dark arts-related possessions from (4/9)

his grandfather's estate, and his notorious family history, he could get into Azkaban, actually manage to get something out of the imprisoned Death Eaters on how they could possibly try and bring Voldemort back or who was still working with them that had evaded capture, stuff like that, and the bare majority of the Order was in favor of it, so they got everything ready and planted the evidence for the arrest and was like "ok Ovi ready when you are," and he's like, "yeah give me a day." (5/9)

So, once Nicky is freed from making statements and testimonies in front of the Wizengamot, Ovi whisks him off, and they apparate just outside of Moscow to get a late lunch at this really good traditional place Alex knows, and then they kinda just walk around town and Ovi buys Nicky flowers and Nicky thinks it's a little odd, but Merlin knows things have been so fucked up so if Ovi wants to take him to Moscow and buy him flowers, for now, he's not gonna say anything. And then they go to (6/9)

Ovi's house (ahem, mansion) and Alex shows Nicky all of the most interesting (but SAFE) relics that his family has collected, cooks dinner for the two of them, and gets a slow record playing on the gramophone ( "Love on the Brain" by Rihanna came on while I was writing this and now I can't stop thinking about it) with his hands on Nicky's waist, chin resting on top of his head before Nicky finally asks what's up. "Love you so much, Nicky. One day, we can be safe and happy, and that's all (7/9)

I want, so I'm asking your permission to hope for that, for us." One of his hands is in his pocket, holding the family ring. He's barely three syllables into, "Will you marry me, Nicklas Backstrom?" when Nicky's whispering "yes yes yes yes yes," and kissing him and Alex is sure that he'll survive Azkaban if can remember this. Cut to either 1996 or 1997, when the Order is gathering because holy shit there was a breakout but really all anyone is trying to do immediately is cast shield charms (8/9) 

because Alex is back!!! and Nicky is very silently but obviously livid and everyone’s waiting for curses. Ovi admits that not telling Nicky was wrong because that's not how the two of them do shit EVER, and that he gets if Nicky doesn't want them to be a thing and Sid's in the background *COUGH* nicky'sbeenwearingtheengagementringthisentiretime *COUGH* and Nicky just furiously hugs him like, "I wouldn't be this fucking mad if I wasn't in love with you." (9/9) AAAH SHIT I'M SORRY 

-

WHY ARE YOU APOLOGIZING??? THIS IS AMAZING AND I WANT MORE???? THIS IS SO GOOD HOLY COW????? i bEG

also post-war where Ovi becomes a teacher and students are genuninly afraid of him at first because they heard rumors that during the war, this guy went undercover in Azkaban as a prisoner and CAME OUT IN ONE PIECE. But then Professor Ovechkin is the silliest, nicest Slytherin these babs have ever met. It’s only during the lesson on dementors that a kid asked what Ovi’s happiest memory is. 

And he kind of hops back on he table, rubbing his wedding ring, and he says “I propose to my husband before I go undercover, and I remember his face, you know? When I come back, he so angry that I didn’t tell him. But he was still wearing the ring.”

So pretty much every student in the class go AWWWWWWWW 

Additionally, everyone knows that the Potions professor and the Head of Slytherin House, Evgeni Malkin, is a tough motherfucker as well. He’s a nice enough guy, from an old, wealthy pureblood family that eventually fought against Voldemort in the war; he will sit down with you if you’re a homesick first-year, loves talking about his husband, who is one of those higher-ups at the Ministry--who supposedly has Veela blood, but no one’s actually ever seen him in person--and their three kids. He not only seems to take care of his own House, but will help lost Hufflepuffs find their way back to their dorms. The paintings near the Hufflepuff dorms greet him with familiarity, saying, “How’s the kids, Geno?” 

The students ask him, “How do you know them so well?” And Professor Malkin will get a sappy look and say, “My husband Hufflepuff. Visit him a lot when we both in Hogwarts and kept trying to get Hufflepuff door to open, but just get sprayed with vinegar when password not right.”

It’s no surprise that the Hufflepuff kids readily adopt Professor Malkin and will gladly greet him when they pass him in the corridors, asking him if he’s coming to the Quidditch games, and asking who he’s cheering for.

“Professor Ovechkin kill me if I’m not cheer for Slytherin. But husband might make me sleep on couch if I’m not cheer for Hufflepuff.” Professor Malkin says. He shows up at the game with two scarfs--one green and the other yellow, and students giggle as they see Professor Ovechkin roll his eyes.

The schools whispers that he went undercover as a Death Eater, back in the day, that he’s seen Voldemort and he’d managed to become one of the few trusted individuals in the Dark Lord’s circle, fooling everyone by pretending to be a double agent for Voldemort with how often he kept going back to the Ministry. But Professor Malkin never talks about it, and especially not when students ask. 

[solomonfiore]

Pigs

We’d been corralled into a muddy pen from out of the back of a truck. The pig next to me led by example on what not to do. He stood up on two legs to announce that a mistake had been made. He was not a pig at all, he said, but a human being.

This behavior was unsettling to the pigs around him. A few of them approached him nervously. They comforted him with fake smiles, wiggling their snouts against his cheeks. He was just confused, they assured him. He’d adjust to his new quarters and soon accept that he was a pig after all. He’d just been traumatized from being so suddenly relocated.

This coddling was squelched the instant the more hardened hams came to address the new arrivals. Flaunting their bigotry and ethnocentrism like trophies, these alpha pigs went down a list of rules to us, shouting them in our faces.

As we were being grilled about the do’s and dont’s of the pigpen, one of the lady pigs snuck away from the crowd to report to her superiors. A newcomer was already trying to incite panic at the campsite, she told them. He had the gall to tell everyone there that he wasn’t a pig at all, but a human being!

It wasn't the first time this offense had been committed. Numerous pigs had tried to get away with disguising their true identities in the past, inciting discontent within the male ranks, anxiety amongst the females. Gang activity was associated with this misconduct. In other words, it was intolerable. It had to be dealt with swiftly and harshly if order were to be maintained. To curb this rising epidemic, a rule strictly forbidding the use of species’ aliases was enforced.

Death would be the penalty for the malefactor who’d transgressed this rule within merely ten minutes of our arrival.

Some of the pigs wore uniforms. They were the only pigs permitted to speak to our corporate captors. The man who’d spoken out of turn was led away by these pigs. The buzz of a circular saw was heard shortly thereafter, the horrid bellows of a freshly slaughtered prisoner groaning beneath the sparks of the enormous blade.

As the screams from the execution simmered down to a gurgle, a clove of cabbage bounced off my cheek. I was pelted with carrots seconds later.

From the other side of the fence, a man in a suit and tie had thrown some rotten food at me.

“Look at that filthy pig grunting in the mud,” he said to his followers behind him, all of them tall, white, upstanding citizens like himself. With their heels and shoulders pressed close together, the crowd formed a wall that towered high above us in the sky, blotting us out as we stood around in our own waste.

The asshole in the suit directed his entourage back to the farmhouse to complete some business transactions.

While sitting atop a hill of feces below the sunny window of the family farmhouse, I heard the tip of a pen scraping across a sheet of paper on a desk. The chief executive had just signed our lives away. For the week to follow, we’d be taken away one by one, being told we just had to go over some minor preliminary or other with the boss to keep everyone calm. Inquiries were never made as to why he or she had never returned after having been taken away. No one seemed to know or care about the absence of their fellows and the dwindling population. I knew we were being exterminated. Unfortunately, everyone else had been brainwashed. It was inexcusable to question the superiority of the human beings and the uniformed pigs. Every indication had been given to the pigs that their best interests were always being kept in mind by administration. I knew this was complete bullshit. But I’d be assassinated on the spot if I said this.

I kept my jaws clenched tight together, clamped around my churning mind as I sketched out a course of action.

‘You cannot tell them,’ said a voice in my head. ‘You must show them.’

A scuffle in the mud distracted me. A female pig was being harassed by some male pigs. I wanted to intervene but felt so helpless at the time. I’d become hopelessly disgusted with this entire dump. I hated myself for having gotten caught up in this mess and not knowing what to do.

Though losing more and more belief in myself as time went on, I still stuck to my plan of sneaking out of our pen at night when the moon was at its highest point in the sky. From the farmer’s shed, I’d pilfer one tool a night and hide it near the main gate. I prepared myself to get at least one cold konk in before they dragged me away, choosing equipment I thought would do the most damage.

While returning from the shed on the third night, a shadow in the twilight cast itself on me - a great female figure. The lining of my belly froze. My scheme had surely been implicated by a farmhand or one of the other pigs.

“You too?” came a voice from out of the darkness, instantly calming in the sweetness of its cadence. I recognized it as Vita’s, the only pig I hadn’t written off as full of shit. Indeed, she’d been the only one to extend a non-judgmental word to me since I’d arrived. She’d caught me standing on two feet - a violation that held the same penalty as using the “h” word. But what was this? She’d also risen up from off all fours. Standing quietly by the fence beside me, she wiped the mud away from her face to reveal that, not only was she a human being like me, but a strikingly beautiful one at that.

Our predicaments were the same. Both of us knew perfectly well we weren’t pigs but couldn’t share this secret for fear of being implicated for treason. The plot had thickened. Now I had an ally.

We came up with a plan. This is how it all went down:

I got around behind one of the pigs in uniform when two of them came for Vita. They weren’t used to insubordination. It was easy to get the copper’s revolver out of his holster. Before the other one could even think of drawing his piece, I’d shot him in the stomach. As his intestines poured out of his ruptured gut, I emptied two more shots into his face. The thick skull of his partner retained the remainder of the clip. He’d still been absentmindedly patting down the empty holster on his belt as his buddy was being dispatched.

The farmer arrived to discover the bluecoats laid out in the dirt, the gate to the stable left wide open. He didn’t see me hiding behind it. From my secret stockpile I’d withdrawn a metal rake. It glinted in the sun before descending, its rusty teeth penetrating the denim of the farmer’s overalls to sink into his breastplate. His lungs and heart pierced, his final breaths dribbled out of his mouth and into a ravine of dung.

Vita had managed to exit the open gate during this commotion. Distracted by the massacre of their masters, the others failed to notice her escape. We bid each other ado and she fled across the cornfield.

Her escape would prove successful. I wish I could’ve joined her. Were it not for her I might have died in this world believing I truly was a pig, laid out on a chopping block as the circular saw cut its lethal grooves into the back of my head.

I’d been throwing pearls before swine, she’d said. Just because we’d refused to bow down to the will of the ignorant oinkers surrounding us didn’t mean that they were in the right by insisting we weren’t human. They were the pigs, not us.

My end of the strategy would also prove successful. The goal?

Let’s just say that none of those motherfuckers had bacon that day.

Investigators would later find the blood of the deceased farmer’s wife splattered all over the kitchen walls. I’d bludgeoned the fat cunt to death with a shovel.

Sliced, diced, and hacked up with an axe, all three of their children’s bodies would be deemed too unrecognizable for open caskets at the funeral.

I’d be shot down by police on the porch an hour later. What mattered was that I hadn’t died on all fours at the hands of my captors.

I’d been forbidden from telling everybody I wasn’t a pig.

So I had to show them I wasn’t.

Solomon Fiore - July 2, 2018