#he’s right about Puccini (not good) unfortunately. la boheme in particular

[slaygentford]

My favorite operas rated by how wrong Lestat is in his opinion of them.

5. Barber of Seville. I think he wants to be slash fuck Figaro and I can’t stomach that because a sexy Figaro is the only thing that Carries me through this post human chatgpt cold modern landscape. Get a job. You will never be Figaro qua figaro la. Wanting to be/fuck him is a pretty mild crime however. There are no real wrong opinions involved except his own hubris. Also I think he thinks he could sing figaro and that’s embarassing

4. Orpheus in the underworld. Again largely inoffensive takes except that he has like immense fomo that he didn’t spend the 1860s in Paris which is like, get over it. I also think he thinks that this opera is endlessly funny and gives and gives and it doesn’t. It just doesn’t. I love it but it’s a rare listen. You can’t wear out the cd. It’s not meant for that. But he does because of the fomo and it’s like okay take the fucking aux cord away from him please god the can can is not that funny

3. Così fan tutte. Here we get into real problematic territory. This is a brain off prima facie misogyny extravaganza for Lestat. Women ARE just like that, thinks Lestat. Histrionics. Amusing histrionics but histrionics. He somehow makes this about fucking actors and musicians but seeking a proper lady of society to wife. Like he would fuck the entire female cast and think it’s funny that they’re irl slutty and not wife material and he would out loud comment on this. The phrase loose woman would probably get involved and in a really vulgar pun on top of it. The entire viewing experience of this is just an evening reinforcing his Edwardian family values. Get away from her. GET A JOB

2. La traviata. Man shut the hell up

1. L’elisir d’amore. Local man who had to fight wolves for dinner 150 years ago thinks he’s still poor and can relate to the trials of Italian peasants. Lots of “back in my day” sort of talk; mean about the barber character without recognizing that is literally him in several ways. Convinces himself he’s a tenor and tries to sing una furtiva. Rough for the entire household. This takes first place bexause if I was trying to enjoy this, one of my favorite opera experiences of all time, and I had to sit next to him, and had to put up with his condescending laughter at the romance shenanigans when he is literally stupider than any character here, I’d push him out of the box and straight into the orchestra