#he’s like cuttlefish but only like. octo expansion cuttlefish

[le-agent-egg]

guys. regarding the trigger splatty havoc au. you will get michi crumbs. i am unable to confirm or deny crumbs of any other captives. but there will be michi crumbs.

[arolesbianism]

Hashtag anger issues moment

[sockeye-station]

Wait is your four the captain? How did that happen?

YES! YES!! I GOT SOMEONE TO ASK ABOUT IT! I WIN!!!!

CLEARS THROAT. OKAY OKAY OKAY IVE HAD THIS ROTATING IN MY HEAD FOR A HOT FUCKN MINUTE AND ILL TRY MY BEST TO EXPLAIN IT IN A WAY THAT MAKES SENSE

OKAY. LETS REWIND ALL THE WAY BACK TO OCTO EXPANSION!!!

so! octo expansion goes all normally, we have our agent 8 fighting through the entire structure to escape, agent 3 gets brainwashed, they have to fight, yadda yadda. you probably know how it goes by now. But here's the thing.

what if i went ahead and changed a tiny thing. just the teensiest detail.

what if instead of spamming splashdowns, tartar decides to use one big fuck off booyah bomb.

"but, didn't booyah bomb come out after octo expansion?"

yes. yes it did. and that's why i chose booyah bomb specifically.

tartar whipped out the idea to use a booyah bomb from some prototypes it found out about after abducting god-knows-who, and used it despite its unstable build. No one, at that moment, knew whatever that was, what it did, how dangerous it was, or anything of the sort. This was some sort of last hurrah, as it knew that this was its last shot at stopping this failure from escaping the facility. And so it exerted Agent 3 into giving it everything he's got. Quite literally, even! It pushed him so hard, he too became unstable while trying to mantain and boost the energy ball.

The Booyah Bomb is thrown with as much power as Tartar could muster out of that creature, pretty much covering most of the arena. Once the ink settles, and Agent 8 gathers his senses, he looks around. Agent 3 is nowhere to be seen.

at no point in canon is sanitized agent 3 properly splatted throughout the fight — you only break their shield, they superjump back to their platform, and you eventually knock them out. you never splat them. so who's to say that, just like agent 8 during the ascent, they don't have a respawn anchor?

That's what I decided to play with here. Agent 3 is splatted with no respawn anchor. Agent 3 is dead.

The rest of octo expansion plays as normal, only that there's no passed out Agent 3 waiting at the helicopter.

Starting from here, Agent 8 becomes affiliated with the NSS through Cuttlefish after breaking the news, feeling like he needs to make it up for the loss they suffered as he feels responsible for it. He grows closer with Agent 4, and eventually they become closer friends, even staying at her place after she invited him once their friendship was more developed. This paragraph is mostly to explain how they know each other and how their friendship started, also explaining why my Agent 8 gives OtH Agent 4's number instead of Cuttlefish.

Okay! Now, back to the point of this ask. I actually had a bit of this typed out in a server I'm in!

[Agent 4] didn't really have a choice when it came to becoming Captain, being the fifth longest-standing member of the NSS after craig, the squisters and agent 3. craig was retiring, the squid sisters were still busy with their inkopolis celebrity scene, and [Agent 3] was dead. so she was the next best option.

she didnt really ask for this in the first place, and yet she accepted out of hopes of being acknowledged. When she was just an agent, the rest of the team didn't keep in touch with her much (except for Agent 8) after the events of OE, and at one point even stopped being called for whenever Callie got the shades on again. Whenever she patrolled, she did it without any previous call, and was rarely acknowledged by the others. She still kept visiting the canyon whenever she could after everyone else had moved on.

even after becoming the "captain", the others didnt usually reach out to her for assistance, and instead tended to act on their own. they never really took her as captain, rarely listening to her. so obviously this whole mess made her feel like absolute dogshit, questioning why she even decided to go through with this.

that title was meant for [Agent 3]. not for her. he was the one that came before her, and was better than her in so many ways. at least that's what the others kept repeating around her.

as much of a punch in the gut being constantly compared to someone else was, she kept pushing to try and make herself known, separate from the other's achievements. which is why she ended up accepting marina's request.

[starshadyy]

what your favorite splatoon character says about YOU!

obligatory “this is a joke” disclaimer, please don’t take offense i’m only being silly👉👈

☆ ★ ☆

callie: you are a diehard squid sisters fan. you have an intrinsic sense for design and are probably super creative. you hate it when people misinterpret her. others wouldn’t assume it, but you actually need therapy more than most others on this list…😔

marie: you’re really intimidating but probably super nice. you’re actually good at the game and are well-versed in the meta. you may not be the best at communication, but you have a strong intuition and are good at reading people

pearl: an absolute feral crackhead who needs to be kept on a leash. definitely queer. nasty majesty is your national anthem. you breathe life and energy into every situation you enter, and others appreciate you for it. you are pearlina’s strongest soldier! 🩷🩵

marina: you are a massive nerd /affectionate. you either wanna be her friend or you have a fat crush on her. you listen to splatoon ost all the time. your room is packed with stuff from the media you like, including mountains of plushies

shiver: you join her team during splatfests even when you don’t necessarily agree with the platform. you’re likely very sarcastic and always speak your mind. oh yeah, and you’re a weeb

frye: you loved her from the start and defended her honor back when everyone was clowning on her design. you’re very talented but humble about your accomplishments. you would bite someone if allowed

big man: you act laid back but are probably filled with anxiety. i get the vibe that you would own an unconventional pet of some kind [turtle, frog, ferret, etc.]. you’re for sure the mom friend. you know nothing about splatoon lore

captain 3: you are the BACKBONE of this fandom and i have nothing but respect for you. you’re probably ranked pretty high in competitive and are likely a completionist

agent 4: you grew up on splatoon 2 and were sure that they would show up in side order only to be… uh, half right? i’m so sorry sweet prince /gn. don’t you worry, your day [splatoon 4] is fast approaching…

eight: you’re very analytical and derive great joy from the story aspects of splatoon. you either write or read fanfiction and maybe cosplay too. you LIVE for the found family trope, and also probably ship them with captain 3. you have amazing taste :]

neo agent 3: you think lil buddy is the most adorable creature to walk the planet. you wish their initial outfit was actually accessible in the game. you’ve probably only played splatoon 3

cap’n cuttlefish: you’re an og who’s been around since splatoon 1 but still know next to nothing about the lore. you don’t main a weapon, and instead prefer to bounce around. you are… an inscrutable crackhead who i want to study

dj octavio: you’re willing to die on the hill that he is not a villain and only did what he did to support his people [you’re right btw]. you’re actually really chill and fun and i have a lot of respect for you. also, i’m liable to believe that you ship him with cuttlefish, don’t you? DON’T YOU?!?

commander tartar: you’re… ME??? villainous characters are always your favorites. you think octo expansion is a masterpiece [and you’re entirely right]. you’re a splatoon scholar and scour every obscure twitter post and artbook note to satiate your hunger for that sweet sweet lore. there’s something deeply wrong in your head.

mr. grizz: you play a lot of salmon run but are actually kinda bad at it [shhh i won’t tell]. you suffered through after alterna just for his backstory log and the bear ears. i’m going to go out on a limb here and say… you have daddy issues

smollusk: you LOVE the idea that marina and pearl are its adoptive moms. you’ve beaten side order with every palette. you overuse the “🥺” emoji. you miiight be a little annoying, but your heart is in the right place… probably

acht: either the chillest person you’ll ever meet or the most insane. probably both. you’re 100% queer and probably neurodivergent too. i bet you listen to will wood and / or tally hall. i wanna be your friend

harmony: you know every chirpy chips song by heart. you’re probably really sweet and i know you make banger fanart. you have an affinity for cute things and i bet your favorite pokémon type is fairy. DEFINITELY neurodivergent.

cq cumber: ???you both confuse and frighten me!!! what can i even say? you’re a cryptid! but honestly, you’re kinda iconic. i salute you, you freak of nature🫡

iso padre: I LOVE YOU. you’re accepting of all people and are just an absolute saint in general. daddy issues, but you’re coping way better than the grizz fans. also, i’m betting that you’re neurodivergent

sheldon: i didn’t think you existed, but turns out that you do? you actually listen to his rambles. splatoon 2 is your favorite game in the series. you’re able to see the value in things that others tear down and y'know what? i respect that [not saying i approve of your character choice though]

judd: wait, why him? ohh wait, i know! you probably just don’t care about splatoon’s story at all and / or love cats. there, that’s totally it, right?

lil judd: you either DON’T know his lore and just like the cute little kitten, or you DO know his lore and you’re unhinged. i’m scared of you

spyke: you’d bark for him without hesitation and DON’T pretend you wouldn’t. you clown. you absolute freak. i know what you are. /j

murch: if i had to bet, you’re probably the shy type who prefers to let others do the talking for them. you might secretly be a little freaky though, and i think you should embrace that side of yourself. you’re safe here. be free.

[dr-spectre]

Helloooo, just saw the big ol Callie rant and thought I’d share my (albeit not as detailed) thoughts cause the first Splatoon game I played was Splatoon 2 and I took my sweet time on the story mode.

Despite her being your main companion throughout the story mode, I found Marie’s spiteful and clearly discriminatory language towards the Octarians to be consistent overkill, while she was obviously mad about Callie “going missing”, these fellas were only doing their jobs and it was painfully clear that Marie had an inherent dislike for their entire species. Since I hadn’t seen Craig Cuttlefish before I didn’t know that this discrimination came from him, with a distinct parallel between their jabs (aggression being directed and focussed at the Octarian species at a whole rather than the reason you’re here in the first place) and with the fact that I was the one barging in and committing wanton destruction and violence in their territory the universal hate felt incredibly undeserved.

As for Callie, no Squid Sisters songs feel so authentic and genuine as the ones made in Octo Canyon. Even Bomb Rush Blush isn’t trying to sound perfect for any pop lover’s fragile little ears, it’s erratic and fills every silence like a one sided argument. With each song sounding like a vent album and the art showing Callie to be miserable and having to desperately hide it on the surface, she’s seemingly using her distance from Inklings as an opportunity to be completely outwardly honest and express the deeper emotions that wouldn’t be accepted in the media she’s surrounded by. Rather than “I REMEMBER!!!” being some ooga booga the cool glasses magic has been dispelled, I saw it more as Callie accepting these emotions she’d kept from expressing and realising her lifestyle and family meant enough to her that it would be more worth it to try and work through those feelings with them rather than use an outlet that worries them. Additionally, she has quite the opposite view on Octarians to Marie, finding them consistently cute and clearly still being friends with Octavio as they collaborated during the Low Water Party after the events of Octo Expansion (discreet lore but it shows she truly had an enjoyable time there!)

Now I could ramble about DJ Octavio for hours so I will cut this short, while - as you mentioned - Octavio was helping Callie escape the stress of her lifestyle in the interest of his own species, (uh oh the can of worms is threatening to open) insert the fact that Octavio winning means species equality through political negotiations put off for hundreds of years. I know! Oh goodness gracious how terrifying! The spicy beats man has used drastic measures due to neglect and forced poverty of a substantially sized society through giving stressed squid sanctuary! Next he might use his technological advancements in energy efficiency to revolutionise our industrial infrastructure- SHIELD YOUR EYES, CHILDREN!!

oh hey! cheers for reading the full thing!

Oh... oh damn... you just plopped your own rant in here, jesus.

I respect it honestly, i respect the hustle.

You know what's kinda crazy? From my knowledge and what people say online, Marie's hatred for Octarians as a species is a NoA localisation thing and not something in the original Japanese version of Splatoon 2. I could be wrong on that but that's just something I've heard in the grapevine.

Yet another example of poor localisation due to deadlines and rushed development cycles!!! ISNT IT SO FUN HOW IT KEEPS OCCURRING AND HOW PEOPLE BELIEVE IT INCLUDING LOUD VOICES IN THE COMMUNITY AND WIKIS TAKING THE NOA VERSIONS AS THE HOLY GRAIL?!?!?! SO FUN!!!!

(Massive fucking sarcasm.)

I dont have much else to say in response to your ask but, I wanna touch on DJ Octavio for a bit because I think the way that Nintendo treats him as well as the fanbase treats him kinda fucking sucks and flips flops between different personalities and actions he's done.

I swear to god people have such different takes on his personality and what he's done over the three games and it's a real headache to deal with. And the way that a lot of people talk about what he did in Splatoon 2 and the suggestions people say.... ugh... they make him so unredeemable and disgusting.

In Splatoon 1, depending on if you play the NoA version or European/Japanese version, he's either very silly and in your face, making musical puns and being a loud mouth. Or he's trying to be intimating and he gets to the point in his dialogue instead of making musical puns.

The worst things he did in that game was kidnap Cuttlefish and tie him up as bait to fight Agent 3, and stealing the power source for the Inklings. Cuttlefish is a frail old man and Octavio has anger towards him, so it makes sense he would go after him and snatch him up.

And then in Splatoon 2, people wanna fucking say that Octavio kidnapped Callie and brainwashed her, removing all of her memories and making her into a slave for the Octarian army... LIKE... WHAT?!?!?! OCTAVIO IN SPLATOON 1 WASNT THAT EVIL!!! WHY DO PEOPLE SUDDENLY SAY HE DID SOMETHING INCREDIBLY UNREDEEMABLE LIKE THAT?!?! WHY DOES NINTENDO PUSH THAT SHIT TOO?!?! ITS SO ANNOYING!!!!

AND PEOPLE BRING UP THIS PIECE OF CONCEPT ART TOO AND GUYS!!! ITS JUST FUCKING CONCEPT ART!!! ITS NOT CANON!! THERES NO EVIDENCE TO PROVE THAT THIS HAPPENED IN THE REMATCH FIGHTS!!! YOU BRAIN DEAD SONS OF-

You can't just go from "im gonna use Cuttlefish as bait because I hate that guy!" To "neheheh, when Callie isn't looking... I'm gonna grab her and brainwash her!" And then to "IM GONNA GET THAT OLD BASTARD AGAIN! HE TOOK MY ARMY!!!" You can't flip flop between silly old guy wanting vengeance against his lover to enemy Cuttlefish, to a malicious beast that kidnaps young women dude. You can't just do that.

You see the issue here? People give Octavio this ultra dark stain on his legacy and I think it ultimately ruins his redemption in Splatoon 3. He did something unredeemable and you cannot go back from that.

It makes more logical sense for Octavio to use his abilities of propaganda and manipulation out of desperation to convince Callie to join him. Octavio is a general and does things out of rage and vengeance from the past. He is not malicious in his actions and a lot of them can be justifiable. It makes more sense for Octavio to go "I need Callie because my peeps are dying, I'll convince her to join me and then I'll hypnotise her so she's more comfortable in the Octo Canyon to help my troops!"

Octavio is still obviously in the wrong for hypnotising Callie, duh. But, like I've said a trillion times, hypnosis isn't mind control, you cannot force someone to do something against their knowledge and morals. So it's more justifiable for Octavio to hypnotise Callie than to literally kidnap her and brainwash her while she was kicking and screaming, trying to stop him. Okay? WE GOOD SPLATOON COMMUNITY?!?!?!

Ugh.

[loolilyumm]

I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT YOUR CAP 3 PLEASE MORE IF YOU WOULDNT MIND???

JUMPING UP AND DOWN IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED I WILL SO HAPPILY YAP ABOUT HIM

THIS IS AGENT THREE! Most of the people in the NSS call him “Three” or “Captain,” but his real name is Reese.

(SIDE NOTE- I really have to do proper character sheets for them. Please stay tuned for that!!)

He was 15 when he was hired by Cuttlefish and 17 during the events of octo expansion. Now he is a mature 20 year old inkling. So so mature.

He mains the E-liter and typically uses chargers or shooters.

Despite his “cool guy” persona, agent 8 brings out a different side of him… the loser baby side…!!! In Splatoon 2 When the two of them fell underground, Reese was actually the one to find 8, and he had to rescue her from sanitization chambers (you know, the octoling selection screen at the beginning of octo expansion?) but couldn’t save her in time to restore her memory. But she was (relatively) okay! And since then he’s been really protective of her. 8 was registered as a test subject and Reese had to stay behind and watch as she went through rigorous testing.

At that point Reese was really descending into a dark place after realizing that he wasn’t really the big hero he thought that he was. But 8 helped him through it and they formed a really close bond deep in the underground. (Cuttlefish was also there third wheeling. LOL) Reese started to feel flustered and shy around her. He’d never felt that way before, and definitely didn’t expect it. And it CONFUSED HIM!! He was like wtf? Why is this happening to meeee waahwaahhhhh ueueueuee

And then y’know……the rest is history! The blender incident happened and it was the scariest moment of his life. Reese was about to lose the only two people he had ever cared about. He has a tendency to throw himself recklessly into dangerous situations, so he just THREW himself at the blender and well. It worked! In my version, he never got knocked out, and he travelled upwards with 8 and cuttlefish until about the 4th phase. Then he and cuttlefish got separated from 8 and attacked by Tartar - that’s how he was brainwashed.

The battle between agent 3 and agent 8 was BRUTAL. Reese harbors extreme amounts of guilt for what went down - he blames himself a lot and thinks he should have been stronger. 8 got really hurt but she managed to save him and THEN save the whole world. #girlboss! Period.

The two of them are working through the events of octo expansion together! If you want me to yap about 8 too I will gladly do that. (Also maybe I should write a fanfic about it. I am cringe but I am free.)

Cut to 3 years into the future - During splatoon 3, Reese becomes captain of the NSS. He doesn’t think he deserves the title but is honored to accept it.

The new agent 3 that they recruited reminds Reese a lot of himself. Her name is Margot. She’s the quiet kid that he used to be. He sort of takes her under his wing and teaches her how to defend herself and her comrades. She is like a younger sister to him. They bicker and bond just like siblings. I LOVE THEM.

I actually haven’t really thought through what happens during the events of splatoon 3. I’m running with the idea that agent 4 and agent 8 go missing during the events of side order. (I know it’s all virtual but like I might add other things to it IDK IDK) I don’t really know yet. But Reese is a good captain and he can find them ☺️☺️

BUT YEA. AFTER ALL THT IS SAID AND DONE - they’re the NSS! And they are all besties.

Thank u for coming to my ted talk.

[somethingforsenro]

splatoon without the splatoon

(the splatoon franchise without the new squidbeak splatoon)

so, i was scrolling through amino, the world's worst social media platform, when i found a very interesting question:

What would happen if the Squidbeak Splatoon disbanded after taking down Octavio during the events of Splatoon 1? Would that change anything down the road?

well, i looked at the comments and saw people basically all agreeing that it would be a complete and utter apocalypse. the world would end, like, three times over.

but if there's one thing i know about the internet, it's that people are stubborn little buggers who'll find their way around just about anything. so, i don't think that's right. i think life would find a way.

here's why.

‎‎

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~🐙~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

first of all, octo expansion wouldn't happen bc agent 3 wouldn't be there to fight eight before the dlc's start. in fact, eight might not be freed at all, because we know that only happened AFTER callie was brainwashed (just look at callie's mem cake in oe) and therefore happened during splatoon 2. i say ‘might not’ for a good reason, which i'll get to in a minute.

anyway, no 10008 means that tartar wouldn't find the perfect subject (at least, not with eight) and his plan would be delayed for the foreseeable future. that means octo expansion wouldn't happen, or at least wouldn't happen so soon; if it did eventually happen nonetheless, it's possible that the oe-equivalent protagonist of that timeline would find another way to stop tartar's plans, so i would hesitate to say that inkopolis is doomed in this scenario. i'll talk about that more in a minute, but first, let's get back to that ‘might not’ from earlier and have a chat about hero mode 2.

okay, hot take: even without squidbeak, i think callie would STILL be rescued either way, and the squid sisters would still perform the spicy calamari inkantation. squidbeak or no squidbeak, it's not like marie's just going to stand back and LET her cousin be kidnapped, and she still would have all the same information she does in the normal timeline. (we know that no one was around to help her when callie got kidnapped, so she figured it all out on her own.) she would still recruit agent four to help her (although she wouldn't give them that title or the agent uniform), and they would still rescue callie, so that happens more or less the same way.

however, cap'n cuttlefish and three still wouldn't be out there to fight octarians, so i still don't think oe would happen either way. that also means eight never loses their memories, never becomes a test subject, and never meets pearl or marina. even if you subscribe to the "agent eight is a clone/lab engineered" theory, then they would just wake up alone in the metro, be inducted as 10008, and then… (imho) not be special at all, because eight is only so successful through the help of pearl, marina, and cap'n cuttlefish, and pearl+marina only contact eight through the cap'n's phone. so, eight would still be a test subject, but probably wouldn't be exceptional.

but let's say you disagree. let's say they still WERE exceptional. well, then – they would just get blended and added to the ooze, at which point tartar would presumably create the perfect lifeforms as he planned. but since there's no eight escaping to the surface, he wouldn't have to resort to taking all the ooze he worked for 12,000 years to create and immediately blasting it out of the cannon. i theorize that he would invade inkopolis with the "Perfected Sanitized Army" first, and only use the mega death cannon as a last resort/when he's about to win, at which point pearl and marina would probably have figured out what was going on and take action on their own, eight or no eight.

so, all told, i don't think the world ends in splatoon 2. splatoon 3? well… let's have a look.

no cuttlefish means new 3 never checks out the manhole. there's no heroes looking for the great zapfish. so, the world is totally screwed, right? WRONG.

y'see, there is at least ONE person who exists independently of squidbeak, who also is an enemy of grizz from the start. ONE person who has ALSO lost something dear to them because of the bear's schemes, and who knew to go to the Crater and investigate more deeply. that person is none other than DJ fucking Octavio.

grizz stole his army, so he went to the crater – so CLEARLY he knew WHERE his troops went, he just didn't know who took them. in our timeline, he thought squidbeak did it, but here, because squidbeak doesn't exist, he knows there's something else afoot. he would take the refurbished octobot king out there, and because new 3 isn't clearing out the stages, he would see his fuzzified troops in full force crawling all over the crater. and octavio would be PISSED as HELL.

so, i theorize that octavio would be the protagonist of this alternate return of the mammalians. he would fight to free his people, fall/break into alterna, and beat up deep cut. he might humor them and give them the "treasure", he might not – if he didn't, they wouldn't show up to help him later on, but… that doesn't really matter.

either way, he'd eventually make it to the rocket, and just like in the original timeline, he'd go to space to fight grizz for the sake of his army and the entire world as he knew it. it would be a lot more drawn-out, but i think octavio COULD have taken grizz on his own, especially with the added motivation and anger he has in this timeline. so i say octavio beats grizz to a pulp, and the world is saved.

now, all that leaves is side order, so…

side order spoilers ahead. proceed with caution.

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side order might still happen, because it's focused on pearl and marina, who aren't affected by the whole squidbeak thing. EDIT: however, as comments are reminding me, the memverse was made to cure sanitization. no oe means no experience with sanitization, no memverse, and no side order. if you think some variant of oe would still happen in the 6.5 years between s2 and side order, and pearl+marina would still be involved, then adapt accordingly.

but EVEN IF side order happened, because agent eight doesn't exist (or never met them, at least), there would be no side order protagonist. but – and this is gonna sound familiar at this point – that doesn't NECESSARILY mean order prevails, just that the fight is closer and takes a lot longer.

acht was fighting on their own before eight and pearl came. in OUR timeline, pearl spent a while trying to wake eight up while acht fought and got injured in the spire. but here, she doesn't have anyone to wait on, so she goes straight to the spire of order. it's possible, i think, for her to catch acht BEFORE their injury, and to give them the dualies and her support (after a confused argument, at least). i think acht could then beat the spire with pearl's help, freeing marina, and the rest would go on basically just like the dlc.

however, that one is DEFINITELY the most situational. there's no guarantee that pearl would be fast enough, and if acht WAS injured regardless, there wouldn't be anything to stop order. in that case, it would probably stay in control of marina for a lot longer, at least until acht healed (which could take weeks or even months).

even in THAT situation, acht would still eventually get back into fighting shape. but would they be too late to save marina? it's definitely possible. however, we DO know that greyscaling is reversible – eight managed it. so, it's POSSIBLE  that they could free marina, even in THIS timeline.

and even if they COULDN'T free marina, they could still free (almost) everyone else. marina would be gone, but they would most likely be able to take down order EVENTUALLY, if much slower.

the only real killstate there is if order managed to greyscale acht and pearl. and if you ask me, the two of them seemed pretty fine and dandy the whole time, especially pearl – i mean, this is MARINA'S simulation, after all, so she WOULD give the people she cared about some level of protection or even enhanced access. (acht might even be able to hack into the simulation a little, although they wouldn't be nearly as cracked at it as marina is.)

so, i don't think order would succeed either way – although it might permanently greyscale a considerable number of people, including marina and possibly four. (remember, marie still recruits four's help, even if she doesn't technically call them agent four. they wouldn't be called agent four, but they still exist.)

so, that's definitely a bit more dire than in the main timeline, at least – but far from apocalyptic, i'd say.

…except for pearl. pearl would be pretty fucked up.

[bigblueoctoling]

I Hate Octavio With All Of My Heart

I'm genuinely so pissed about Octavio being at the grand fest at all. Like it's genuinely a serious hampering on what is otherwise a really nice event. It's even worse that cuttlefish is there. This genuinely severely lowers my opinion of the Splatoon writers.

So like. On its face, I despise the general angle of going easy on Octavio. It's not headcanon that he's objectively a pretty terrible person for a lot of reasons- like, it feels very intentional that one is meant to read it like Octavio is an old war vet who's artificially keeping the "us vs them" mentality of the great turf war. It feels intentional that one is meant to read him as a very vain and controlling person who actively spreads propaganda (see Splatoon 1). It feels intentional that, at the *VERY* least, what Octavio did to Callie in Splatoon 2 was Bad, if not Morally Reprehensible. It feels like, with the way Octarian society is described in Octo Expansion and Side Order, we're textually meant to read the hyper-militarization of their society as a bad thing.

I feel like, if Splatoon was ultimately intending to present Octavio as a morally grey antihero type of character, they have completely and utterly failed to do so. Merely having him be the leader of Octarians doesn't implicitly make him a good guy just because Octarians are oppressed- Octavio is obviously, on some level, a figure with political power in Octarian society. Octo Expansion largely served to show that the surface world has progressed past the conflict of the Great War- so if Octarians are still facing oppression, that only really falls into the hands of the Octarian elite. If the intent was EVER to imply that that doesn't define Octavio, they made literally no effort to show it.

All of this being said, you could still argue that Octavio's help in Splatoon 3's ending is meant to represent him turning a new leaf- It's an argument that I'd still fervently disagree with, but you could hypothetically make that argument.

Except Splatoon also doesn't make that argument. Literally one line Marie says in the post-game has her posit that Octavio might have turned a new leaf- A line I've always hated, but it feels as though the game has just sort of ignored the busywork of actually showing that any change has been made to the primary antagonist of the franchise and has just leapt to the conclusion because Octavio has done one vaguely morally good action ever- an action done to save the planet, which obviously is also in his own personal best interest.

Isn't Octavio, like, a threat? Like, he literally has a criminal record and is a military leader, why is he allowed at this venue?

Moreover, why are Octavio and Cuttlefish suddenly chummy?

The fact that Octavio is sat with Cuttlefish makes this feel like a cheap, hollow gesture to appeal to the fandom- like, yeah, people like to ship cuttlefish and octavio, but that's not, like... basis to decide what the canon is? Like, you need to actually establish their relationship in the canon first, you need to show them interacting together LITERALLY A SINGLE TIME BEFORE JUST ACTING LIKE THEY'RE BEST FRIENDS WHEN EVERY SINGLE PREVIOUS INTERACTION BETWEEN THEM WAS DIRECTLY ANTAGONISTIC.

And, just to reiterate: I DESPISE the idea of shipping the two of them. Not for any moral reasons, I just personally find both characters wretched people. But like, if you wanted to do this, you should actually do it? Instead of just plopping a literal war criminal in the middle of a venue as if it's totally fine. Like I genuinely despise that he's here. It's so fucking lame.

I think if you actually give a shit about Octavio's character, you should be pissed too. Like... They're just acting like they've totally redeemed Octavio and he's gone through a whole redemption arc when he's done literally ONE GOOD THING EVER, and it was still something exclusively for his personal gain (the planet not being destroyed). This is pretty major character development they're just not actually bothering to do or explain they're just sort of shoving him and cuttlefish together as if that instantly makes them best friends. It's so fucking lame and pandering, it feels like the end of a cheap kids movie where they have a funny dance party and the main antagonist is also there for no reason.

Like, I genuinely gotta wonder, is it my fault? Am I the one who doesn't see the textual evidence of Octavio being a good guy, somehow? Have I somehow missed something? Because it genuinely feels like a complete rejection of how they've characterized him up to this point, to just suddenly act like Octavio has been redeemed and there's totally nothing wrong with being his best friend. Like I feel like I've been playing a different Splatoon Franchise than anyone who'd think that's normal.

[lilaclever]

Hey yo, your agents are pretty cool. Got any cool lore with them? Maybe some crumbs???

ACK omg I wish I could be more prepared. I'm actually in the process of revamping my captain but I do have some things I can share

Daryl is my agent 4 aged 17-23 ->(hero mode 2 - Side order) .. he was born with some slightly defective fins leading to the cut short look his "ears" now have, he's actually very self conscious about them, so when his hero suit came with the headphones resembling squid fins he was all for them... He's also a certified idiot and has completely mixed up the identities of Agents 1 and 2, and Callie and Marie

Ashton is my agent 8, aged 18-23 ->(Octo expansion- Side order), prior to the events of the actual story he was an octoling who had actually just managed to stumble his way up and out of the metro. But his luck really wasn't there for him, cause immediately after he was ambushed and fought against the then agent 3. (Aged 17). Prolonged exposure, as well as a second helping of Sanitization has led to a permanent blue in his tentacles. Only the tips are colored differently.

Nelle is my Agent 3 neo! Aged 16-18 ->(ROTM- Grandfest) she's relatively new, but before the Squidbeak Splatoon he really was just off to the streets, she and little buddy both were scraping by, but they enjoyed the simple things well enough. After joining as agent 3 Nelle later went on to work at one of the many shops in Splatsville and later found himself constantly changing his style every other day. Every day, a new fit, he's always been passionate about dressing fresh but only now could she do so on a regular budget.

Might as Well talk about Leo, Aged 14 -21 -> (Splatoon 1 - ROTM) and captain of the new squidbeak Splatoon. As expected he's the most experienced of them all. Leo is calculative and truly the best pick Craig Cuttlefish could've made. He often gets so focused on work though that he forgets to clean up after himself, but luckily agents 1 and 2 keep him in check, just like their old man.

That's it for my agents, at least in this form of chat, thanks for asking! I really appreciate it 🥺

[a-oct0]

Octo Expansion lore for my Agents!!

This is just a rough outline for what happens to my Eight and Three during OE, I did try to keep it brief but- didn't do that to well lol- I plan to elaborate on certain moments more in later posts but anyone is free to ask any questions! (especially since I haven't proof read this lol)

So it begins just like how it does in game with OE, waking up, no memories with Cuttlefish yelling in his face. They go through that tutorial area without issue and end up at the metro station. They then approach Tartar (who is obviously not known as Tartar just- 'The telephone') who despite clearly just being some sort of talking phone, gives Eight bad vibes. Anyway "nice" talk, gets the CQ-80 and the two head for the first level/test. 

Eight's first encounter with a sanitized Octarian is that of pure confusion, cause like- clearly its an Octarian like him but also why are they green??? And hostile to boot?? He assumes its part of the test and rolls with it, clearing the level with ease. Cuttlefish makes his usual remarks during the level. After which the two head back onto the train only to be greeted by the sight of Three taking a nap (he got bored waiting on them finishing the test). Cuttlefish proceeds to smack Three on the head with his cane to wake him up. Three and Eight just kinda lock eyes for a moment, a very awkward moment before Three jumps to his feet surprised to see Eight. Cuttlefish (horridly) deescalates the situation. For the whole next line of tests theres an awkward (one sided on Three's part) tension between Three and Eight (Eight thinks he's just being weird). Eight is the only one taking part in the tests, which is kinda boring Three to death as he has to sit either on the train or watch Eight from the sidelines. On the train rides between test stations Eight tries to get Three to talk of which- Three at first doesn't wanna do. Eight is persistent however and just keeps rambling to Three, (Eight's inklish is very broken this early on it gets better as they keep going) but eventually by the end of the first line Three starts to talk back with Eight, much to the octolings delight. Cuttlefish also interjects here and there. Pearl and Marina first make contact right after Eight finishes the first line. They act pretty much the same as they do in game, same with Cuttlefish tbf. Three is in shock cause Holy shit it's that music duo is little sister is obsessed with. Eight is just surprised to hear new voices. So they keep going, Eight doing tests, OTH give advice, Three sulking he's bored, Cuttlefish failing at rapping and collect the thangs. Nothing major happens between the first line and collecting the third thang.

Eight and Three spend most of the time between stations kinda bonding?? Three explaining to Eight what the surface is like, Eight in awe of it all. Three also tries to help Eight recover some of his memories as the memcakes only help to a degree. They also spend time laughing at the messages between OTH and Cuttlefish. While their time isn't exactly pleasant Eight does end up having some fun during some tests, others are nightmares to complete. After colllected the third thang, like the previous they bring it back to the main station. When exiting the train Three notices something lying down on the ground by the- weird telephone thing. He grabs it, noticing its actually an employee model CQ-80 however before he can even think to tell Eight and Cuttlefish they call him over to help get the thang down off the train so he puts it in his pocket and kinda forgets about it. Eight goes through the next few tests but during the ride to one something unexpectedly goes wrong with the train, CQ Cumber informs them that there's been a malfunction and the train must return to the main station for repairs which may take a few hours. Initially the three of them just sit in the train car but after a few minutes Three gets up to start pacing, bored out his mind. The others notice this so Marina actually suggests they try and explore the rest of the metro while waiting but Cuttlefish dismisses the idea not wanting the pair to get lost. That's when Three remembers the CQ-80 he found which happens to have a map for the non train parts of the metro. So Cuttlefish relents letting the pair go off while he stays behind to make sure the train doesn't leave without them. Initially they have contact with Marina and Pearl who helps guide them with a hacked copy of the metro map (its mainly empty rooms or locked doors) but as they go deeper they end up losing the connection to Marina and Pearl. They contemplate turning back, getting bad vibes from the area they're in- there's paper files scattered everywhere, stains all over the place. It honestly stopped looking like a train station and more like an abandoned hospital. Right before turning back Eight notices a file a top a table, it looks so much cleaner than the rest- his curiosity gets the better of him as he picks it up to check. "10,005" stamped on the front, the pair check it- horrified to see a familiar face- a face Eight thought he had forgotten... His sister April with a big "SANITIZED" stamped over top. Three basically has to drag Eight back to the train as he's frozen from shock. Eight dropped the file along the way not realising till they got back.

Cuttlefish waves them down, the train is back up and running. Marina quizzes them on what happened after the disconnect but the two don't elaborate. They realise now something is very wrong with the metro but they don't wish to panic the others so Three quietly disappears off to investigate more while Eight continues with the tests. Telling the others Three just needed extra time to wander about. Every test finished leaves an uneasy feeling in Eights stomach- the closer he gets to the last thang the more sick he feels. He tries to fight as little of the sanitized Octarians as possible. Finally they receive the finally thang, they take it back the station. Three is not yet back but the telephone doesn't care, building up the "promised land" device and telling them to step inside. Cuttlefish rambles that "Three will find his own way back, he's a smart kid blah blah" as he then steps inside. Eight is hesitant considering the info he had learnt a little earlier- but everyone is encouraging him to get inside so against every fibre in him he does. The blender scene plays pretty similar to how it is in game, Marina contacting Three via the CQ-80 he has, him bursting through the roof and breaking the blender. Unlike game Three doesn't knock himself out but he does injure his leg, cut from the glass shards. Cuttlefish still encourages Eight to go on head without them, he'd stay and help Three back to his feet. Eight is reluctant to the leave the two but Three and Marina convince him to go. The escape is basically the same then the fight against sanitized Three. Well it's pretty similar to the game, just a bit more intense with Eight trying to not hurt Three but also stop and snap him out of it. Eight wins the fight, Three is left... Scarred. Eight is horrified feeling it's his fault somehow but he and Cuttlefish press on up and out- Carrying an unconscious Three between them. They finally reach the surface- Eight is mesmerised by it- but its cut short by OTH in their helicopters and Tartar revealing himself with the NILS statue- this fight goes how it does in game but there is more dialogue between all the characters which I'll elaborate on a later post- Anyway they win- End credits.

Post OE- Three helps Eight settle into living in Inkopolis along with Four while Three must now learn to deal with his partial sanitization.

[superluigiglitchy]

Triple Dose Timeline (canon is puddy in my hands)

here's an explanation on how exactly Meggy got fucked over by the universe 3 times

note: The following events replace the anime arc because everyone was to busy searching for Meggy that the anime challenge never happened

Meggy was kidnapped by a group of octarians (who were ordered to do so because DJ Octavia discovered Agent 3 had a sister and had a big brained idea to not only brainwash Callie but also her as well) and got brainwashed by a second pair of hypnoshades that Octavia made (though she didn't quite go down without a fight, Octavia can attest to that)

Agent 3 (Paige) was too busy on a separate mission to go looking for Meggy much to their frustration so Marie recruiting Harbor as Agent 4 came in clutch and also Mario coming along because of course he does which both makes things easier but also more complicated

However during the final battle around the time Marie and Sheldon came barging in the platform Meggy was on ended up collapsing and she fell into the abyss below much to Mario's and everyone else's horror

Fast forward a couple weeks and after hundreds of dead ends and countless sleepless nights, the NSS were finally able to find a lead to where Meggy ended up (and also got confirmation that she still lives thank god, Paige cried a lot at the news out of relief) and so Cuttlefish and Agent 3 are off without hesitation to search for Agent 3's sister in the Metro

Meanwhile Meggy has been Sanitised by Commander Tartar who found her unconscious in the subway, and is currently accompanying Cuttlefish, 8, Desti and The Octoposse who are all stuck in this medical nightmare hell hole because of course and all (well except cuttlefish) of them are missing their memories

Cuttlefish is really worried how 3 will react to their sister being well, green now and zombie like

However despite being sanitised, partially emotionless and amnesiac she is still technically Meggy so sparks still fly between her and Desti much to the others chagrin

At least it makes solving the puzzles easier (especially the 8 ball thank GOD)

The plot of octo expansion stays relatively the same albeit with more people and a more chaotic group chat

They all end up having to team up against a partially sanitised Paige who is somehow stronger than in canon which is terrifying, and it took everything to knock them out

When the boss fight with the giant statue and Tartar happens (who wants to blow up the world because it's gone insane and so has he from the meme energy) Meggy, Desti and the Octoposse jump in the assist 8 in inking the statue to high heaven

Sanitised Meggy is basically a watered down version of canon Meggy having her emotions and memories stripped from her, she still has the desire to win splatfest ofc but she doesn't quite have the drive that made her want her to, and this deeply scares Paige and Mario

A couple years have passed since the incident and Meggy is MOSTLY back to her old self, still a bit amnesiac and lacks the reaction speed for certain emotions but better now

Then she gets fuzzified by Mr. Grizz

Meggy started to work at Grizzco. Via the suggestion of Harbor because she felt self conscious about how she looks during turf wars now cause well she looks like a zombie and it went pretty well for about 3 years

Harbor did a total fuck up and Meggy not wanting him to get fired ended up taking the fall for him

unfortunately this ended up with Mr. Grizz fucking up her back a bit, kidnapping her and then getting fuzzified which FINE

and somewhere during that struggle Meggy ends up in the Splatlands an FAR from Grizzco. and ends up running into Andi and being found thankfully by Cuttlefish

unfortunately they all soon end up falling into Alterna but hey at least she reunited with the others!

splatoon 3 remains relatively the same albiet they know mr. grizz's plan to rid he world of sea life MUCH sooner

[arolesbianism]

Mark meeting ded is just gonna be him going btw have you heard of the music producer 8ballin' 👉👈? And ae is just gonna sit there like I've been in every wrong place that you can imagine for the past half a decade you tell me

[summerf0x]

splatoon for the ask thing

Favorite male character

This one’s a bit hard considering how most of the leads are female, but probably Iso Padre. He has a nice design and the fact that he washed out of the Deepsea Metro’s testing system but has been riding the train for so long he’s forgotten his own name is a really quick and effective way to make the player weary of the place. I like that he gets to make to the surface eventually as well. Hope he’s enjoying his coffee :)

2. Favorite female character

Who else but Agent Four? Maybe I’m a bit biased because I played Hero Mode a ton when I first got Splatoon 2 due to the lack of online (seriously scummy Nintendo) and really got into the deepest recesses of Octo Canyon and therefore her character, but there’s a ton of cool stuff about her that no one else aside from the other Fourheads seem to care about. Parallel Canon leaves me with so many questions I wish the game would answer. Just you wait, she’ll come back in Splatoon 4 and they’ll throw her a grand parade! You’ll see! You’ll all see!

3. Least favorite character

This one’s also hard, but I think I’d have to go with Smolusk. All of the other villains have something that makes them interesting, from Octavio’s mix of both a leader put in a hard position to protect their people and DJ jargon to Mr Grizz’s corporate persona eventually morphing into the giant bear trying to cling onto the past. Smolusk has that too, being a literal manifestation of Marina’s fears of chaos and what it does blown out of control. They’re fine, I guess. I just don’t really find baby characters that entertaining.

4. Favorite ship

I don’t really have one of these for Splatoon, but Pearlina is one of the main ships for a reason. An ex-weapons engineer escaping to the surface and meeting a headstrong, freshly kicked out of her band inkling who wants to form her own band with her practically writes itself, and Side Order is filled with stuff with them to the point where their final song is called SPECTRUM Obligato and they bring back the greyscaled world with rainbows. Octo Expansion is my personal favorite with them as well.

5. Favorite friendship

Four and Eight. I saw the official art of them being roommates and something just clicked in me. I could talk more, but I wrote an in-progress fic about them as well.

6. Favorite quote

“Right on time, kid. I got work for you.”

Salmon Run is my favorite game mode hands down, so almost all of Mr Grizz’s voicelines are carved into my mind.

7. Worst character death

Splatoon’s lore has many deaths, but I’ll only count the ones we see on screen. Captain Cuttlefish’s fake out death was just kind of unnecessary. I knew he wasn’t really going to die, so it just felt awkward as the giant rocket literally right in front of us started to take off.

8. “This made me so happy you have no idea” moment

Parallel Canon’s reveal. It was a short lived happiness, but a happiness nonetheless. I was literally that one wojack pointing image, and was so ready to see what would happen next with Four. (So much for that)

9. Saddest moment

Going through Kamabo Co and realizing what happened to all of the other test subjects that succeeded. Going through hellish trials all in hopes that you’ll one day make it to the surface only to have it ripped out from under you as you get sliced to death and your remains will be used to essentially zombifiy people.

10. Favorite location

The Ruins of Arc Polaris. It’s a cobbled together station welded together with human signs spread around the place with GRIND RAILS and a GIANT ROCKET IN THE BACKGROUND. I was pretty saddened when it didn’t return in Splatoon 3.

[splatoonpolls]

SPLATOON OC TOURNEY ROUND 2 BATTLE 15

Samuel by @salt-pile vs The Inkoid Typhoon that Ravages the Shoreline (Typhoon for short) by @nylonvintage

PROPAGNADA/BACKSTORY

samuel

He ran away from home at the age of 14 to try and forge his own path rather than the boring life his parents wanted him to have. When he first entered Inkopolis, he was a silly squid, but after he became Agent 3 of the NSS he became more serious and got so focused on meeting his self-set expectations of being an agent that he began to overwork himself, which came to a head in Octo Expansion (where the whole ordeal left him blind in his right eye). After that mission and some major self-reflection, he mellowed out, and began to make an effort to take more breaks and pace himself more (with the help of the Squid Sisters and Cap’n Cuttlefish), leading to him being the silly and laid-back captain we know of today.

typhoon

Her egg got stolen and taken home by an inkling to be sold off and she ended up hatching in Splatsville, but later when she was little she got stolen back during a Big Run. Now she's inkfish-shaped and she Hates it (according to lore the salmonids have different builds based on where they hatched/how they grew up). Currently she plays drums (pots and pans) in a band and likes to take grizzco weapons from players to blast their faces off with. She also wears stolen grizzco uniforms bc they're the only clothes she has access to that fit her

also this post

[silliestcolressfan]

I am going to do some infodumping about my silly lil 1776×Splatoon au because its taking over my brain ^_^

I'm also gonna make a specific tag for this: Splatoon 1776

Alr so number one, uhhhhhhh TJ

I've decided that's he's gonna be Agent 3 because like, why the fuck not?? Also, JA is gonna be Agent 8 so ^_^

So like, he lives a quiet life and enjoys the company of his intimates, RHL, his wife, Martha (yes, they're all gonna be legally adults), and a few others, depending on what I do with this au in future. He also plays the violin really well, to the point some believe that he should make music for a career, but he really doesn't want to. Too much attention and not such a quiet life

As an agent, he works hard, stays focused, and gets the job done!!!! He was really surprised when he saw JA in the deepsea metro, and even more surprised to see Abigail there. He has the scar from tartars hypnosis (I think that's what it's called? I'm not sure, sorry 😓😓)

He also mains the Octobrush

Next we have John Dickinson as Agent 4!!!!

Again, he was chosen for why the fuck not. Also, because I'm a strong believer that Parallel Canon is Agent 4, and one thing that happens in 1776 is that Adams and Dickinson fight.

He tends to just do his thing, ig (I'll have to ask @pingskumonium for help with Dickinson 😓) I just know that's he's friends with George Read, that he doesn't write straight, and that he disagreed with JA 🙏🙏

I think he'd either main the Splattershot or be a tenta missiles spammer with the Reef Lux 450

Next is JA as 8, as mentioned twice before ^_^

I chose him to be 8 because, well, their whole thing is like escaping the deepsea metro, saving the octolings, and defeating evils (eg, tartar, order). I've also took some creative liberties (with help from coroika) to put Abigail with him because he deserves his wife 🫶

So like, they got married and lived happily together in Octo Valley until she just. Disappeared. That's around when he encountered TJ (3) and Capn Cuttlefish, all three of which were attacked, and he woke up in the deepsea metro separated from 3, and everything I'm the Octo Expansion. Now, here's where more of my ideas come in. In 'Fake Plastic Station', Adams doesn't actually splat Abigail, who is the last sanitised octoling there, and instead spares her because he recognises her just ever so slightly. Also because she dropped her glasses and broke them after the ink jet (she has never used one until then), which the mechanism took as her being splatted. Therefore, the two return to the station together, as she no longer has the glasses (I'm like, 90% sure they have hypnosis powers. Even if they don't, this is my au so :333)

And the rest of Octo Expansion goes the way it does

Abigail is only sanitised because I wanted an excuse to put her in Side Order

JA would main Enperry Splat Dualies and Abigail would main the Octoshot. Change my mind 😋

[duckapus]

Squid Memes Squidbeak Splatoon

Note: Just focused on the playable agents, since the Cuttlefishes, Sheldon, Off the Hook and Deep Cut are basically just Themselves But Exaggerated For Comedy.

Paige Spletzer

Pronouns are They/Them

About five years younger than Meggy

Was 16 when they got recruited as Agent 3. (Since Octo Expansion and If Mario was in Splatoon happen roughly two years after that that means Meggy is around 23 when she's introduced)

Biggest Chirpy Chips fan you've ever met

stinky

Knew about Mario by reputation before Meggy ever met him...his pre-SMG reputation as a hero, that is

So I read once that Meggy mentioned in a Q&A back when she was a Vtube Streamer that she hadn't told her parents about the whole species change thing. Well in this continuity that's because she and Paige doesn't talk to them at all due to how they reacted when Paige came out as nonbinary.

Doesn't like hospitals post-Octo-Expansion

Unofficially low-key adopted by the Cuttlefishes (all the agents are but they were the first), and so is Meggy even though she doesn't know it until after Anime Island

Gets promoted to Captain sometime in 2021

While they are Very Attached to their Hero Shot, out of uniform they're actually a Brush Main

Harbor Current

The only boy on the team (besides Craig but he's Grampa so he doesn't count)

Got recruited at 14 because he's tall enough that Marie thought he was older and she was desperate enough to keep him on board anyway after she found out

Very Southern (because why not?)

One of the very few Inklings who actually likes Anime

Really clumsy outside of a fight and an embodiment of grace and precision inside of one

Good with just about any weapon but he likes Dualies in particular

Cannot stand Inkblot Art Academy. If it's in the stage rotation he will simply Not Play that mode. No one can get him to explain this

The kind of guy who talks constantly about anything and everything while never actually telling you anything substantial about himself

...Yeah I'll be honest I haven't figured out much for Eight, New 3 or the Smallfry yet and it's 3:30 in the morning so there'll be a part 2 at some point.