#he’s like a moth drawn to the flame that is Slash playing guitar

[thedeviousdevilxx]

This quote from Duff that’s from that Slash bio doc, Slash: Raised on the Sunset Strip is special

Duff: “I wouldn’t be being honest if I didn’t say sometimes when I see him playing, I’m like “For fuck’s sake we should be playing together, somehow, again”.

Oh Duff

[ubernoxa]

The Groupie: A Guns N’ Roses Fanfiction

Chapter 4: A Closed Door

Masterlist

Story Summary: Even when I was younger, I knew I wanted to be in music. I had a hunger for it that could never be satisfied. I wanted to be where the music played. I was drawn to it, like a moth to a flame. At first it was a rush of pure adrenalin that would fill me as I tuned their guitars and partied with them after the gigs (sometimes even more), but just like all adrenalin rushes you eventually have to come down.

Chapter Summary: Celi realizes that she was a fool.

Celi wandered around backstage looking for something to do. She continued to rub her neck hoping to ease the sharp pain that had settle there last night. She was originally spending time with the other girls backstage , but quickly grew bored of the questions about Izzy. So here she was wondering backstage looking for something to distract herself, looking to help setup for the show. She missed helping setup and tune the instruments. She felt disconnected, like something was missing. Celi couldn’t help but laugh at herself looking for work, if she told herself last month that she would go out of her way to find work she would have laughed in her own face. Back when she was with the Hempers she wished, no prayed, that she wouldn’t have to work. She prayed for a day where she could sit around and do nothing. Funny how quickly things had changed.

The hotel rooms still felt foreign to her. Each hotel room would always make her jaw drop. Granted these hotels were barely a step above the Motel 6s, but compared to the tents and busses she was used to they were immaculate. Some were nicer than other, but the beds always felt like clouds. The first couple of days Izzy would teach her to play guitar, but it was clear to her that he must have forgotten his promise or just wasn’t in the mood for it. He had been playing in a show every other night, and it was definitely taking a toll on the guitarist. He wouldn’t admit it, but Celi knew. She wasn’t sure how she could help, but instead of playing she would try to talk with him after they had sex. She quickly picked up that he was always the sweetest and protective after sex. Their conversations would range from music to the beauty of the setting sun. He would always comment how the rising and setting sun was the second most beautiful thing he had ever seen, her being the first. The first time he told her that he wasn’t sober, so she brushed it off. Once he said it the following morning, and every morning after that, she believed him. One of the many things she loved about Izzy is that he was poetic. His poetic ness clearly showed itself in the songs he wrote, but he would only truly show that side of him to her when they were alone.

“Why don’t you go off with the other groupies, and wait with them for the guys to finish sound check,” one of the stage hands responded not wanting to take part in whatever game Celi was playing. In his mind all of the groupies were the same. He believed that all of them wanted to fuck one of the band members hoping that they get married and she doesn’t have to work for the rest of their life. Freeloaders, a bunch of damn freeloaders. He took a quick second and looked the girl up and down. She was young, and with her bright red hair he knew exactly who she was. He had heard stories about the redhead that had caught Izzy’s attention..at least for now.., and didn’t want to be apart of one of the stories. The worst part about stories was that most of them weren’t true.

“Wow..okay...I’m not here to ‘worship’ some guy. I’m here to be with the music, and the music is here backstage, setting up this shit. I used to do it all the time before with the Hempers, so just give me something to do. I’ll sweep the stage or clean lenses,” Celi shot back. Much to her dismay there was a slight adjustment between being a groupie for the Hempers vs being a groupie for Guns, the female groupies were there to keep the guys entertained.

“Now you listen here bitch,” before the guy who stood in front of Celi could continue his growling, a guy no older than Celi interrupted their discussion.

“Hey Mark, I’m running behind schedule, can you help me with tuning Steven’s drums?” The brunette turned to Celi and asked, “Celi right? You used to tune guitars for the Hempers?”

“Yeah, I’ve also tuned drums. Need help?” Celi quickly asked as he nodded his head and motioned for her to follow him to the stage area.

“I thought the guys were already doing sound check? What’s the problem with the drums?” Celi asked practically running after the guy. Her heart was racing a hundred miles a minute as she followed him backstage.

“No, they’re in some sort of group meeting, and no they aren’t broken. Sounded like you wanted a job, so I thought I’d give you one,” Celi couldn’t help smile at him.

“Thanks, it’s weird...not working with the instrument. I feel so detached from the music,” Celi admitted as she grabbed the required tools for tuning from a bag backstage. She felt his watchful eyes on her, obviously this was her first test.

Without hesitation she grabbed the items, and headed onstage. She knew if she showed any doubt, if she flinched, or showed even the slightest hesitation then she wouldn’t be asked to help again.

“Really? I’d think having Izzy’s dick inside of you every night would mean that you are incredibly close to the music,” Celi froze as the guy spoke. What the fuck was his problem?

She took a deep breath, and thought to herself what Morgi would do if she was in her position. Morgi would defuse the situation, and ignore the dick ass comment. She could cuss the guy out later, but right now she needed him to have a job. She reminder herself of one of the most important rules Morgi had taught her, cause no trouble.

“Fuck off, you know what I meant,” She offered him a peaceful smile and giggling pretending that she wasn’t overly pissed off at him. Celi wanted to stand up to him, and actually tell him to fuck off. Today wasn’t the day, but sooner rather than later that day would come.

Celi sat down and began working on getting all of the tension rods finger tight on the first drum. She could feel him watching her every move as she worked, and that ticked her off even more. She shook off the eerie feeling, and lightly tapped the shell of the drum ignoring his stare. Taking the trusty drum key in hand, she began tuning the bottom head, praying that she wouldn’t make a fool of herself. His eyes were on her like a hawk on its pray as she began tapping and tensioning in a diagonal pattern. Once it was to her liking She began working on the top.

Time quickly flew by as she moved from drum to drum. At least he was attempting to be nice, unlike the Mark character she had met earlier. He eventually left to go get Steven, and she couldn’t help but smile. It felt good to be with the music again.

“Hey Celi! I didn’t know you could tune drums?” She smiled at Steven as he practically bounced over towards his kit that she had just tuned.

“Yeah, let me know what adjustments you would like me to make. Kiyv from Hempers was always really particular to how he had his, so let me know!” Celi couldn’t help but let her smile grow as she spoke even though her heart was practically going to explode out of her chest.

“Pretty good, I just like it a little more....bend in the tone if ya know what I mean,” Celi nodded as he spoke trying to take in every word. He grabbed the key and torqued down some of the rods.

“You can go Sam, Celi and I can finish this up,” Steven said before turning to Sam. Ahh so his name was Sam.

“Wanna tune Slash’s extra guitars once you’re done with that? Our regular guy who does it is off talking with our supplier.” Celi nodded back at this so called Sam as he headed out. Her heart was practically performing backflips from the excitement of being able to play a guitar again.

“Wait Celi!”

Celi quickly snapped her head back towards Sam who was running back in her and Steven’s direction. “We are having a meeting at 9 pm in room 7B about post show stage cleanup. If you want to keep helping we can always use the extra hands, but if you were just here to help to make the time fly by don't bother stopping by,” Celi nodded back at this so called Sam as he headed out. Celi reamined frozen as she watched Sam leave. There was no way in hell she was going to be missing that meeting.

Steven then spent the next 10 minutes explaining exactly how he liked it tuned. After he finished Celi couldn’t help but laugh.

“What?” Steven rested his elbows on he knees as he looked Celi up and Down. He sent a flirtatious smile her way as he remained hidden behind his sunglasses. It was hard for him to look away, even if she was one of Izzy’s girls.

“I worked with Kiyv and his drum set for a couple months. No matter how much I tried to dial it in, they were never perfect. At first I was offended, but later on I realized that it’s all personal preference. I am not you so how will I know what you feel like playing that day, but that won’t keep me from trying to,” before she could continue she felt an arm wrap around her waist and slowly tug her away from Steven. She didn’t have to guess who it was.

“I was looking for you after the meeting, you weren’t in the dressing room. What are you doing out here,” there was a playful tone as he whispered into Celi’s ear.

“I was looking for something to do,” Celi whispered back.

“Now what has my Celi been doing all day? A girl like her can have all the booze and drugs her heart desires, and yet she found herself working onstage,” Celi’s heart fluttered as as he spoke. She thank god or the spirits or whoever was in charge of the world that he wasn’t mad at her.

“Working! It’s called working. Someone had to get the drums ready for your performance tonight,” Celi teased back earning a chuckle from Izzy. She could feel them, all the eyes that were currently on her and Izzy.

“Come on now baby, I don’t want you to be tired for tonight,” His comment caught Celi off guard, but she knew she had to quickly recover. She could recover. Her words were failing and all she could do was blush.

“Get off my stage,” Axl shot at Celi breaking her ‘moment’ with Izzy. Celi never lost her smile as she quickly surveyed the band.

“Fuck off fire crotch,” Celi shot back before strolling away to go tune Slash’s extra guitars that she he wouldn’t use for the concert tonight.

The whole time she tuned, she tried to shake what had just transpired. She played a short melody trying to dive deeper and deeper into every note. She wanted to escape from the small section of her brain that was freaking out. The part of her brain the was quick to point out the fact that she had broken every one of Morgi’s rules.

—————————-

Out of place was a good word for how Celi felt in room 7B waiting for the meeting the after show meeting to start. Celi fidgeted with the hem of her shirt trying to ignore the stares she was receiving.

“Didn’t think you’d actually show,” Celi turned to see Sam sit next to her. He smiled as he took in her appearance. By the way she tied her hair up, and now wore sneakers, it was clear that she was here to work.

Celi sat and listened to the meeting where they discussed the required post show photographs and interview that were lined up for the guys. The interview that Izzy had been bitching about all week. She felt eyes on her as she sat next to Sam, but she was expecting them.

“Alright Sam, standard plan for packing the drum kit. I see you brought some help, but if you need any more let me or Mark know,”

The next few hours were filled with packing and moving equipment off stage. She cussed under her breath as she forgot how tiring packing up was. The time passed within seconds, and before she knew it Sam handed her a beer in celebration of a job completed

“I thought you would bail half way through packing up,” when Arnie first saw Celi he thought that she would be a pain for two hours and then she would disappear. Arnie has been with Guns N’ Roses for the past 8 months working their lighting, and not once had he heard of a groupie wanting to help.

“Well I used to do it all the time, so really it's no big deal. Thanks for the beer, but I should probably get to showering, Long day,” Celi quickly finished her beer and headed towards the showers.

She headed towards Izzy’s dressing room, hoping to catch him before he went to the afterparty. After getting lost twice, she smiled when she saw the plain door with a piece of paper with Izzy’s name of it. She quickly jiggled the door only to find that it was locked. ‘What the fuck’?

“What time is it?” Celi asked a by-passer who quickly checked his watch.

“11 pm,” the man replied before continuing on his way. Confusion filled Celi as she tried to figure out why the door was locked. He must have been in their if the door was locked, maybe he didn’t want to be disturbed by the others? Usually all of the dressing rooms, except Slash’s would be cleaned out by the end of the show. Everyone would then congregate into Slash’s dressing room and drink their asses off. If it was locked that meant he was in there because the cleaned ones were left unlocked. Celi took a deep breath, but right before she was going knock a moan filled the empty air. Her hands dropped to her sides as she stared the bare door.

Her mind went blank and her feet took over as she wandered towards where the public showers were. She pulled her hair out of the ponytail to use as a mask as it covered her face. She cussed herself as she could feel the tears build in her eyes. She couldn’t tell if she was more mad at Izzy or himself.

‘She was a groupie, and the sex meant nothing,’ She told herself over and over again. Her heart still burned as the thought of Izzy having sex with someone else filled her brain. The moan continued to play in her head over and over again causing more tears to cascade down her face.

She purposely avoided any eye contact with anyone she encountered in the hallways. She was a fool. A stupid little girl who fell for a rockstar.

Rule Number 1: The sex means nothing.

The sex meant nothing.

The guitar lessons meant nothing.

The late night talks meant nothing.

Everything meant nothing.