#he’s just GORGEOUS AND TALENTED AND INTENSE AND INTELLIGENT AND LOVELY AND FUNNY AND MANLY HHNNGHH

[wildsaltair]

me @ Russell Crowe

[lilysbook]

Ramblings: Reflection

My 3 weeks of freedom is coming to an end in 3 more days.

The first week was filled with apprehension and anxiety as I busied myself with the thoughts of finding a part-time job right away before my internship officially starts. It seems that I had forgotten how tough it was to get a job. I sent several resumes and even had an interview however time was a cruel factor. After a few half-hearted attempt in securing a job, I realise that I would not get this opportunity again in the near future. The opportunity to just do nothing. To rest and relax after 3 years of monotonous and toxic environment, I can afford to rest for a mere 3 weeks, can’t I? So rest and relax I did.

In the second week, there were news of EXO’s grand comeback, and EXO’s official SNS were created. Rumors about teaser (and eventually official news of the teasers) started to arise. SM dropped individual teasers at 12am KST each night for their title track. 

It was the beginning of my fangirl experience in comebacks. I was on twitter 24/7 and I think that I am an annoyance to my non-EXO twitter stans who had to see all my fangirling EXO tweets, so I am a little sorry about that. As this was my first comeback experience (EXO was my first ever kpop group I am obsessed with), I had no idea what to expect. So, I stayed up every night to wait for the new teaser alongside my twitter timeline that became frenzied every night an hour before it was released. The experience was in a word... fun. I had a sense of comradeship with my fellow EXO-Ls (although I don’t have any common mutuals -- I usually tweet and talk to myself loll). But I had a great time reading, liking and retweeting. The best part was 5 minutes before the teaser. Everyone in the timeline was filled with anticipation and excitement so it’s so easy to fall into the delirium as well. 

Kai was the first member in the teaser. Even though I had been excited just a minute before, when the teaser opened with the catchy tune, my heart dropped. Kai had dreads. Disappointment mixed with adoration. Kai looked so cute as always but he had dreads. My stand on it is that it is cultural appropriation and that it is not right for those not in the African culture to have it. Some don’t share my view but I think it is still wrong. He had dreads during the Wolf era as well and he did not like it so why now? Many (including me) defended him saying that the stylist/SM were the ones who forced it upon him. However, now we know that Kai was the one who requested for the hairstyle which disappointed me even more. He needs to be educated about this and some EXO-Ls had planned to do so. Hope that the message will reach him and he will be more knowledgeable about it and hopefully he would stopped wearing that hairstyle.

Baekhyun was next. The first thing that I did was to laugh at his hairstyle. But as time goes by, I think he pulls off the mullet really well. I fell in love right away with the song in his teaser, Forever. Kyungsoo’s line “Don’t break my soul...” was a clincher. 

There were many theories of whose teaser it will be the following night. Some said it was in alphabetical order, some said it followed the old songs order, some said it was the appearance in the teaser of the previous member. The last theory proved to be right (well, only for the first few nights). Chanyeol was the one to appear in the teaser. I loved his cotton candy hair. I love any hair that is bright. Chanyeol look so handsome in the teaser. The song Chill was awesome too.

Sehun came next and he looks good as always. He had grown on me over time. I always look forward to him when he is in variety shows. He has that natural entertainment sense. Anyway, he was amazingly badass in the teaser. His chest was covered with tattoos and his gaze was intense. I was like, woahhhh the maknae has grown up! 

The next night was Suho. I love Suho and his awkwardness. But there were no traces of awkwardness in his teaser. He looks dashing even in the various weirdly-styled outfit and his centre-parted mob of hair; both fits him perfectly. Suho is very princely and he has that royal aura surrounding him. As expected, that is our leader with high ranked visuals.

We were left with my top 3 biases: Kyungsoo, Xiumin, Chen & Lay. I know now that Lay is not in the comeback, but back then, I still had that tiny hope that he would appear the last night or something. Anyways, I was still so grateful and happy that SM saved my favourite boys for the last.

The next night was Xiumin. Wow. I was so speechless by his ethereal beauty. Is Minseok even real? As I have posted often here on Tumblr (LOL), Xiumin is my bias wrecker. I just can’t keep my eyes of him in the teaser. He has that gentle and feminine look that I adore so much, yet he is manly (do I make sense?). He is just so so beautiful. His eyes is his best feature. With his black comma hairstyle, (let’s face it he can dye his hair in any colour and he still look gorgeous) he was the most good-looking out of all the members by far. Of course, EXO has no visual hole (everyone is so very extremely handsome) and this is just my personal opinion anyways. Xiumin is just so underrated sometimes and I just want to shake everyone and tell them to look at that beauty and talent and intelligent human being  and stop sleeping on him. His vocal is one of the top in EXO but he was still overlooked. I’m so glad that SM gave him more chance to shine with Young and Free and also The War album. So proud of you my darling, beautiful Minseok. 

Chen came next. Different from the other nights, I watched the teaser late because I was not home. The first thing when I got data was to check who was next HAHA. This level of dedication (or obsession) surprise even me. Anyway, it was the vocalist who slays high notes in EXO, Chen. I like Chen’s personality. He even bleached his hair for the first time just for this album. That is dedication. I always like idols with blonde hair as I find them good-looking and Jongdae was no exception. he looks so good in the teaser. 

And then who do we have left? Yes, it is my ult bias in EXO, D.O, Do Kyungsoo. Out of all the members, I like his voice the most (yes I may be slightly biased). I like everything about him. I like that he is shy outside, but his stage presence is amazing. I like that he is passionate about both his singing and acting. I like that he is a man of few words, but when he talks, everyone cracks up. I like that even though he is physically small, he is a manly man. I like his smile, I like his hair. I like his loyalty because even though he has acting commitments, he drops everything for EXO. I like him so so much. In the teaser, he smiled so gently, it feels like he is my boyfriend. In this album, I like that he has a lot of parts because i like his singing voice. You know how you like someone and you like everything about them but you cannot also point out specifically what you like about them because you are afraid you will miss out on something? Yeah, that’s how I feel about Kyungsoo. I just... like him as a person. I admire him so much. 

Even though I have biases in EXO, I love each and every member too. They are talented and popular, yet they remain humble and polite and down-to-earth. They were met with so many challenges but even so, they are still one. Their gratitude towards the fans are what made us EXO-Ls stay and what makes them still relevant imo. I hope Lay will join them in the repackage album!!!

I love stanning EXO. 

Anyway, the group teaser of Kokobop was released night after Kyungsoo’s and then the MV the day after. I love the song. I love the whole The War album. I love how EXO feels so excited about this album because they were involved in the making thus making them attached to it. The MV itself needed some time to get used to because there were slight drug references in it. The first time I watched, I had already picked up on the not-so-subtle cues that they were high on drugs lol (don’t do drugs kids). But I may have overreacted and think too much as well. I don’t know. Baekhyun explained they were aliens sent to Earth (in reference to previous MVs). The filmography was amazing though.

They then had Vlive and everyone was so funny and cute omg especially Kyungsoo’s freestyle dance to Touch It. HAHAHA that ahjussi. The most exciting schedule that they have and that I am looking forward to would be their appearance in Knowing brothers. I am a Knowing Brothers maniac so having two of my faves set of people meet is the best thing a fangirl can get. 

Their first live performance of Kokobop was just tonight and it was amazing. The dance, the vocal, the visual were top notch. I like the starting and the dance break part the best. 

And they performed The Eve too. Wow. It has a sensuous feeling to it. HAHA. I am barely explaining it but the whole album is that way so yeah. (I want to see this live lol. I attended Exor’dium concert where they performed Artificial Love and woah what an incredible experience).

Anyway, my point of this entry (before I could stop myself from writing an essay about EXO) was that EXO unintentionally became my project during these 3 weeks break. I experienced how it was like becoming a full-time fangirl and it was an amazing and fun experience. I foresee myself not having the luxury of committing this much time and effort in the future due to internship and work commitment hence these 3 weeks had been an enriching and novel experience in its’ own way. I believe that everything happened for a reason. EXO’s comeback just happened to be at the time where I have no commitment and for that, I am utterly grateful.

I will be cherishing my last 3 days and giving full support towards my boys whose rival is their 2016 self (as wisely said by Minseok). I will be like them and constantly try to improve myself as well. 

This had been really fun. I will miss this feeling.