#he’s got like… 10minutes before he’s toast
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acowardinmordor · 1 year ago
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Well. Um. Narratively you just convinced me that Steve is definitely going to die in s5.
Probably goes: Guilting him about what happened. Trauma/grief no one takes seriously. Genuine moment of praise or appreciation in the lead up to the fight. Dies keeping the kids safe in a way that lets the kids win the final fight. He won’t be the one that wins it. He’ll be the one that makes it so they can. And I’d say 80% chance that he either dies alone, or doesn’t let them know how bad he’s hurt until after it’s too late.
Adding this; could also see it going with Steve’s instincts being dead on, no one believing him because it’s Steve, he never knows anything, and eventually the thing he’s been trying to get them to pay attention to rears up, and Steve dies protecting them. And that’s when you get Dustin actually saying nice things directly to Steve.
sometimes you spend two hours out of your tuesday talking about the persistence of the "steve harrington is an idiot" narrative which is basically the most consistent thru-line in the entire show
sometimes you are watching stranger things 4 and eddie munson calls steve harrington "a pretty good dude" and "oh no," you think "is this the first positive thing anyone's said to him this season?" and then, even worse, "oh god, is this the first time in the show that someone directly tells steve that he's a good person?"
and then you write a lot of words about it
like. let's take a journey.
season 1: nancy doing her little "you are an idiot steve harrington" bit, which as been talked about, but also the fact that tommy and carol are constantly making fun of him for liking nancy, almost in a "aww he doesn't know that he's pathetic" kind of way. barb thinks he's an idiot. jonathan thinks he's an idiot. we know what happened when the duffers wrote him, he was supposed to be an idiot. nancy thought he was using her for sex, and she wanted to rebel! she didn't want to date him even though steve was just so clearly fucking besotted. even the kids thought he was trouble!
on top of that: we know that his parents are never home, that they think it's pathetic that he lost his fight with jonathan (probably just threw money at the situation honestly). we know he's popular, but decidedly not well-liked.
BUT. he's like. a good guy. he apologizes to jonathan for the shit he said. he would apologize to nancy later but he knew he fucked up with jonathan. called jonathan a queer, a freak, said shit about his family, he knew it was over the line and he wanted to fix it. he ran when he saw the monster but he came back inside to save them anyway. nancy gets back together with him. he buys jonathan a new camera and has nancy give it to him as a gift because he knows jonathan wouldn't take it from him. he is smart!
concussion tracker: 1
season 2: he writes his college admissions essay, but nancy doesn't think it's good, no one thinks it's good. he knows it's not good. he's visibly nervous about it, knows his parents are going to be disappointed if he doesn't get to college. there's no more "you are an idiot steve harrington" but a wider acknowledgement that he is Not Smart. he doesn't make the Right Decisions. not to his parents, not to nancy, not by listening to the government and not talking about barb, not by being worried about his family because the government will take everything away from him.
he's a fool in love. he doesn't even realize that nancy doesn't love him. she challenges him when he says so, too, calls him crazy for it, but he's right. he heard her say it to his face and he almost lets her pretend it never happened because he loves her so much.
he's not popular anymore, either, not in his senior year, not without tommy and carol, not with billy around. he can't even keep his girlfriend, that one everyone told him was a red flag, the one that is way smarter than him, way too good for him, he's only really making her worse and she thinks so too. steve, you're so stupid for thinking everything is okay when it's bullshit! when it's obviously bullshit, everything was and you clearly didn't care and everyone knew this was all smoke and mirrors except for you.
he's still good, though, still a good guy. he gives dustin bad (but well-meaning) advice. and the thing is that he doesn't even realize that it's bad advice. it always worked for him! harrington you idiot! naive. girls don't care if you like them, youre pretty! don't you know that's why?
still, he's good! he goes to nancy's place to ask for her back and to apologize even though he knows he didnt do shit wrong. he unquestioningly takes dustin where he needs to go, protects them all from billy even though he can't fight: really, very stupid of him to try. he loses and is literally passed out for a good chunk of time but the kids are okay! he can't see or hear but he knows that if he doesn't chaperone them into the upside down that they'll probably die so he gets up and does it.
he sends nancy to go be with jonathan because "i'm a pretty shitty boyfriend, but i'm not a half-bad babysitter" (and he says this literally knowing he didn't do anything wrong. he really believes he's a pretty shitty boyfriend. he's gotta be, he's too stupid for her, not good enough, couldn't make her happy, didn't let her be right in the way that she needed to be and that just must be a universal truth). it's supposed to be humbling when he takes dustin to the snow ball, now that he's the babysitter guy, he's finally been humbled! thank god! he had such a big ego before!
concussion tracker: 2
season 3: he didn't get into college (probably because he never ended up editing that college admissions essay) (probably also because he's had two serious head injuries) and he's really fallen from grace, now. girls don't even want anything to do with him, partly because he didn't get into college, partially because he's convinced he has no game. he's insecure about it, too, because even dustin has a girlfriend from his smart nerd camp and his advice from last year didn't turn out to be any good. and not to mention what is dad thinks about him.
and steve just. doesn't hesitate for a second to help dustin with the russian spy thing without even knowing it had anything to do with the upside down. like this was no longer life and death, dustin is just his friend and he likes him. and he still helped him even when he was struggling with translation, and he was the only reason they found out it they were operating from the mall, even though everyone else thought it was stupid that he was so focused on the song.
and then he gets tortured, and manages (for the most part) to protect everyone else, takes a fucking massive beating for it, only mentions a single name when he's drugged.
and this part is extremely important to me as a robin buckley defender to the death, she straight up tells steve all about how awful he was, how big of a dick he was in mrs. click's class. and he agrees! he knows! it's hit him that the person he was in high school was this miserable asshole who didn't care about anyone else even though we've only seen a version of steve that tries and cares. nobody remembers all that. not even steve. and later he confesses to her and is straight up waxing poetic about how much fun she is and how much he likes spending time with her and how great it is to be her friend. and yeah, he likes her, he has eyes and a brain. and she shuts him down and it takes about five seconds for his brain to recalibrate.
he's good. doesn't even take a full 1986 minute to feel sorry for himself, to feel stupid for barking up the wrong tree again. doesn't take a full aids epidemic world minute to be on her side. no shit this is the guy who called jonathan a queer and immediately went to apologize. he's used to it. he's used to being wrong and he's used to transforming his love into something platonic.
he doesn't hesitate to run his car directly into billy's or back in the direction of the mind flayer. he's unafraid. he's brave. no one calls him brave to his face but they all think it.
and then right at the end, he's trying to get a new job at the movie store, where he almost doesn't get hired because he's too stupid to know anything about movies and-- isn't it funny that he walks into that cardboard cutout that was right in front of him? there goes steve harrington. the bumbling idiot.
concussion tracker: at least 4 (he got his shit rocked by the russians at least twice)
season 4: this is where it gets good. it's where it gets interesting. by which i mean it gets awful and i hate it. it's where i want to rip my hair out of my head and eat it.
spoiler alert: ive only watched volume 2 once and im currently rewatching volume 1 (which actually sparked this rant obviously), so it's going to be a bit brief talking abt v2 compared to v1
just in the very first episode, we get: steve getting negged by his date about how he was bad at basketball, steve talking about how he wants a real relationship with someone who gives a shit about him instead of just... using him for sex, steve being vocally jealous about dustin's other older male friend, steve being the only one who saw lucas win the game (other than nancy who has like never spoken to lucas) and no one acknowledging it. he's like in an accumulative like five minutes of this episode probably.
in the next few episodes, we get a lot of dustin (bless him) straight up calling steve an idiot for
suggesting they contact the police on account of all of the horrible things theyve gotten involved with and the murder that just happened
not knowing how a compass works
being careful in rick's shed in case someone tries to kill them
not knowing how walkie talkies work
not knowing where the walkie talkies are?
then there's nancy who sticks him with the kids because he isn't smart enough to pretend to know things about psychology, they need a certain type of student, says that they're not even kids anymore, that it'll be easy, as if he's only capable of the easy tasks. meanwhile the kids are constantly fighting him because they're smart and know each other well and honestly do not want to be babysat. meanwhile instinct tells steve that max is in trouble and he's right and they still fight him on it.
there's the way robin dustin and eddie tell steve how he needs nancy back (even though he's like respecting her relationship with the guy that She Left Him For) (even though she told him directly and explicitly two years ago that she was never in love with him and that their relationship was bullshit) (even though last summer he told robin all about how he would probably always love her but he knows they wouldn't work again and he's ready to move on)
and like. nobody makes long speeches about what a great guy they think steve harrington is. they all figure: he must already know. only cares about his appearance and getting girls. didn't even bother going to college. probably will skate by on his parents' money. he was popular and a dick and he's kind of an airhead. but who cares, man? it's just steve harrington.
this is the worst for me, man, is when he thanks eddie in the upside down for saving his life, and eddie immediately deflects, and steve has no shit whatsoever to say. he goes up to eddie away from the girls and starts a conversation with a guy that he was convinced was a murderer, a guy he called a freak until they saw each other (eddie: hunt the freak, right?), and starts the conversation to be like: hey! thank you! those girls know how much they mean to me but you don't and i want you to know.
eddie's like "dustin told me you were a badass and i didnt believe him but he was right" and steve is genuinely like. thrown off. dustin doesn't tell him this stuff! he thinks steve is indestructible. and then the good part: "i guess i couldn't accept the fact that Steve Harrington was actually a good dude. rich parents, popular, chicks love him, not a douche?"
because people always stop before they get to that part! steve has rich parents (who cut him off and are never shown because they're never home), steve is popular (or, he was back in high school but we already went over that fall from grace), chicks love him (except they historically absolutely resolutely do not, not the way he wants to be loved by them, not nancy or robin or the girl he takes to the basketball game.) -- but not a douche? when i say this might be the only genuinely nice thing said to steve about his own character in the entire show i'm really struggling to find evidence otherwise. it's honestly nicer than 95% of the shit ever said about steve, to his face or anyone else.
really, the only thing steve is good for, the only thing he has acknowledged himself for being good at, the only thing other people have openly acknowledged he was good at: babysitting
which makes the end of the season hurt all that much more, doesn't it?
he's never been allowed to hang out with the older kids. not since season 1 (even though nancy and jonathan would have 100% died if he hadn't come back). and he loves those kids. he's good at being there for them. he's stood up directly from more than one serious brain injury and immediately did the right thing by them, for them, sacrificed himself for them, only really complained about it in season 4 because at that point it becomes personal, not circumstantial. he's not asked by the kids to help, he's asked by the older people who don't think he can handle any more than them.
i'll say this, too, because it hurts my feelings and idk where else to put it: when max is running up that hill, she calls for dustin and lucas. over and over again. when eddie calls the party over the walkie, he asks for dustin and nancy. steve is always there but no one asks for him. he's going to be there. he's going to instrumental in helping them. but they do not ask for him when theyre scared or in trouble. nobody does and he comes back every single time. he's always there to hear their desperation but he knows he's not who they want!
and i feel like the steve harrington that they want us to think existed would have a snarky comment every time: "i'm here too, you know" but he doesn't. something tells me he doesn't expect to be wanted.
it's just something i noticed.
and then volume 2 hits. they have this big plan. for once, he goes with the big kids. him and his two girls. he trusts eddie and dustin to keep each other safe. he lets max and lucas keep each other safe. he does this even though he always always makes sure they are safe first before saving himself. always. (getting the kids out of the upside down, getting the kids out of the rapidly closing russian elevator, ushering them out, actively putting himself in danger, using his body as a shield. he walks into battle every single time expecting to sacrifice himself for these kids. and this time he goes with robin and nancy to fight the big bad, leaves the smaller things to the kids who desperately want him to stop babysitting them. he figures: max and lucas can handle it themselves, they told me time and time again. dustin and eddie are close and they understand each other in a way i dont get to understand dustin, they can handle it themselves.
steve harrington, you bumbling idiot, listen to them for once! they're smarter than you, anyway, you really hold them back.
and then what? eddie dies, right there in dustin's arms. eddie who is the only person who has actually genuinely told steve that he's a good person that he likes spending time with. even though he told them both not to be a hero. because he knew he wouldnt be able to save them this one time. and dustin had to watch.
and then what? max dies and then lives and then gets put in a coma. he wasn't there like he was in the graveyard. he was the only reason they realized soon enough back then and this time he wasn't there to save her from vecna.
and then what? lucas and erica are nearly killed by jason and the other basketball goons, genuinely violently hate-crimed. and like. steve was wildly popular. he fell from grace but you know jason probably respected him in some weird jock way, would probably listen to steve as like a fucking white guy. and steve can throw a punch
before the got in the fight he and robin were like: i think we're going to lose
and i know steve feels like: i stepped away from my post. the only thing i was good at, the only thing anyone respected me for. i set up this plan and it got people killed. i was tired of being the babysitter and! now! look!
concussion tracker: still probably at least 4 but also i'd like to mention that he gets strangled literally twice this season for like a significant amount of time which is decidedly bad for your brain
tldr: steve harrington, fiercely loyal, canonically neglected, chronically self-sacrificial, disliked at some point by every single character on the show, constantly underestimated, openly self-conscious about his intelligence (both before and after sustaining several severe brain injuries) and how other people perceive him and if people like him and want him around, has given everything for the entire party and he needs to get something back in season 5.
he needs someone other than nancy to tell him he's a good person and a good force in their lives. he needs his final story arc to not be about his romance with nancy (they both need this). he needs dustin to open up to him about eddie's death. he needs someone to trust him with something other than their physical safety. he has never once turned someone away.
and, because he's my blorbo and i want to see him suffer, just a little bit, i want the show to acknowledge how badly he would take the blame for eddie and max and lucas specifically. it is the one time he was not there, it was the one time they lost. he's my steve harrington and i get to project my massive guilt complex onto him as much as i damn well please. and then i want someone to tell him how good he is. for the love of fucking god.
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baekuras · 1 year ago
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not me telling my boss i threw up and his suggestion being to take meds against diarrhea the specific one being the one i took on accident a few years back during my period in a hazen panic of pain starting at my internship and being in the worst pain i don't even remember anymore and just passing out the second i got home (up to my bed though) fully clothed
i was fine when i woke up again but dear god no i am NOT ever taking it if i have any other gut issues except for diarrhea no, stomach aches or twists do not count
also don't worry I am not actually sick It's a lie that sounds better than "I am actually feeling exhausted because I slept like 16 hours during one night of the weekend, then only up to 5 if I am lucky today, I feel like my life is wasting away and all I can do is sit there paralyzed because I don't even have the energy to go look for something-anything else"
if i am not overly petty i might join in a few hours because my coworkers are not at fault and understaffed but also...the comment made me salty because how do I go "Hey my guts are shit, I threw up-not feverish though don't worry it's fine, but it's not done yet" and you go "just pop in unrelated medical pills and join us soon" just the SOON is making my brain itch a bad way
whaddoyoumean sOON i called in NOW because there isn't a SOON if i knew there was a SOON i'd have mentioned it do not just assume that
more ranting beyond the line because i need to vent some and the tags will cut it off eventually
fun medical facts about ME :D diarrhea takes me about an hour-if it's bad maybe two-to subside enough for me not to run to the toilet every few minutes and start eating and keeping in food and water (might be able to eat tiniest pieces of toast before that-depends) (food here also means toast, i'd be fucked if i ate anything more substansial)
so i'd assume it's the same with throwing up I can't really use the last times I threw up because Last time I did that for like 5hours in 20 to 30minutes intervalls and I don't really remember much The time before was way back during my first period which I also don't remember much of....well anything except me crying and panicking, shugging apple juice to comfort myself only to throw it up and my mother feeling happy for me that I got my period while I just felt like dying so...not reliable sources
but just the casual assumption that i'll throw in some pills and join them in like 10minutes after opening or something just....grinds my gears just fuck off or i will get angry enough to actually throw up
again i do plan to join at least before 3pm for the sake of my coworkers (one shift ends at 3) but god fucking help him if he uses my overtime for the time I am away if he does i WILL leave and get sick-leave for that day and I will go tell my doctor i am pretty damn sure i am burnout-adjacent because I either just sleep or am at work and i'd really like to be able to do anything else in my free time thanks :D
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