#he’s gonna show johan later

[seasicksilver]

wip of the sillies

[sheerakk]

comic assigment for school. The dialouge is really corny (because I spent almost no time thinking it through) so you're not getting any translation from me. Only fellow polish people can laugh at my writing skills (please don't, I'm already in tears).

[lookismfanfics]

I NEED THE PART 2 OF THEM SLEEPING ON THE CHEST

Thank you all for the support! I’ll do my best 🫡

𝐒𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐭

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟐.

Warnings: Fluff, jealousy, mild cursing, J*mes L**, DG spoilers

Zack • Johan • Gun • Goo • James L. • Kouji • Vin • Samuel

𝐙𝐚𝐜𝐤

🝮 One thing you’ve learned about teenage boys since you began dating one, is that the combination of tiredness and trust is a deadly one.

🝮 You watched Zack train today. He called you to his gym, showed off, and wore himself out.

🝮 So now that you’re home, you can see his displays of fatigue more clearly.

🝮 He becomes a puppy 😩

🝮 Maybe a grumpy puppy. But his eyes are soft and warm like a protective guard dog.

🝮 You help him out of his jacket and shoes- seeing as his hands are still sore.

🝮 The cold weather has its effects- even on your moron of a boyfriend.

🝮 You push his flopping bangs out of his hair, rubbing extra lotion onto his cracking hands.

🝮 The motion of your hands rubbing against his makes his eyelids droop.

🝮 You both fall onto the couch a few minutes later.

🝮 It doesn’t take long for you to see that Zack is on the brink of falling asleep.

🝮 “Come here,” you say as you open your arms to him.

🝮 Zack’s eyes, dark and soulful, don’t betray the doubt he feels. He hesitates.

🝮 “How come?”

🝮 You shrug- ignoring the sheepishness you feel crawling at your insides.

🝮 He looks at you full of trust, like this is secretly what he wanted the whole time, and all you can do is nod understandingly. You already know.

🝮 The thing about trust is that Zack has put all of his in you, and when he’s tired, he trusts you to tend to him in his vulnerability 🤲

🝮 Soon enough Zack is leaning onto your shoulder, breathing heavily against the fabric of your hoodie.

🝮 And gradually the two of you shift, and he relaxes his cheeks into your chest.

🝮 You play with his hair— trying desperately to stay cool while he drifts off to sleep.

🝮 I’m not gonna lie to you, sometimes he drools in his sleep, so watch out

🝮 You were the one that initiated it- sort of. In the morning he wants to pay you back. 🫣

𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐚𝐧

🝮 You’re sitting on your armchair.

🝮 And Johan is sitting across the room.

🝮 Your hands rub gently between Eden’s perky ears, spurring on his excited tail wags and tip-tappy paws.

🝮 With Eden sitting in between your feet, Miro has no choice but to jump by your legs and wag her tail.

🝮 And as you smile, whispering sweet pet-names to the dogs, Johan frowns.

🝮 “They’re not usually this excited—” You laugh, looking up to Johan

🝮 Johan: 👺

🝮 You shift in your seat, releasing the fluffy ears of Eden and directing your attention at his owner.

🝮 “Is something wrong…?” You get the feeling like it’s something stupid, but to Johan it probably won’t be.

🝮 The corners of his mouth continue to perk downward, his brows furrowing gently.

🝮 Then he stands, walking towards you, kneeling down in front of you.

🝮 You’re on the edge of your seat, staring at him blankly. Waiting for him to explain.

🝮 And then, with his dark eyes still holding your gaze, Johan leans forward and rests his cheek against your chest.

🝮 🫠🫠🫠

🝮 “Johan…?” You suppress a chuckle, watching silently as he leans further into you, wrapping his arms around your middle.

🝮 The two of you gradually relax into the arm chair. He ends up straddling your lap a bit, head still firmly placed in your chest.

🝮 You listen quietly as he falls asleep, his breaths becoming heavier and evening out.

🝮 You stroke the bangs away from his eyes, pressing your lips against his forehead as she slumbers. Soon enough you fall asleep too.

🝮 Sweet bbb. A little jealous…?

🝮 He didn’t initiate it. You didn’t either. It was Eden 🫵

𝐆𝐮𝐧

🝮 He’s leaning forward on the edge of the couch, head sagging as he inwardly relays his day.

🝮 Your legs are wrapped around his hips, fingers pressing into his taut muscles.

🝮 “You look tired,” you mumble against the fabric of his shirt.

🝮 Jonggeon has just returned from a long day at work. His muscles are tight and sore, his hair begs to be played with after being styled for so long, his eyes are glazed and unfocused.

🝮 “You think I’m tired…? I don’t get tired.” You can hear the smirk even if you don’t see it, and you press harder into his shoulder blade.

🝮 He doesn’t flinch but he does shut up.

🝮 Your hands move to the sides of his face, cupping his porcelain cheeks that you know are secretly pudgy.

🝮 You use your fingers to stoke at the sides of his face, closing your eyes are you press against his muscular back.

🝮 “Aren’t you using that technique to help babies fall asleep?” Gun asks, turning his head towards you.

🝮 “So what if I am? Maybe that’s how I think of you…” you smile against his back, prodding his cheeks to further your teasing

🝮 He huffs indignantly, turning back to the front.

🝮 The room is cluttered- as a man’s flat should be. Except Gun’s place is usually neat- so it makes sense that the two of you are house sitting for Goo.

🝮 You feel Gun’s body getting warmer and his head sagging forward.

🝮 Gun is hot 99.9% of the time. That 1% is when he turns into a lap potato 🥔

🝮 You retract your hands away from his face, pull your legs out from his sides

🝮 “You should get some sleep,” you murmur, standing and planting a kiss on the crown of his head.

🝮 Gun grabs your wrist, “Where’re you going?” And you’re about to reply—

🝮 Wait a minute 😃 ☝️

🝮 You’re not standing anymore. You’re lying down?

🝮 Gun hovers above you, arms encasing you on either side.

🝮 You: 🐭

🝮 He can sense your embarrassment, even if you stubbornly refuse to show it. A smile appears on his face as he lowers onto your chest.

🝮 *Alarms go off in your head*

🝮 “Gun- get off-!” You try shoving this hunk away. It’s not working.

🝮 You close your eyes, willing yourself to calm down. You feel Gun’s eyelashes fluttering against your chest as he stares up at you.

🝮 His arms are still holding you to him. He’s still in control. He’s still on the verge of falling asleep-

🝮 You hear his breaths even out. You release a sigh you didn’t know you were holding in.

🝮 Now that Gun is asleep on your chest, you’re free to admire whatever part of him you can get a glimpse of. 👀

🝮 He initiated it. He knew exactly what he was doing. If he’s gonna be vulnerable he’s taking you down with him.

How did this one get so freaking long—?

𝐆𝐨𝐨

🝮 Goofy starts reading the trophy encased in his large gloved hands, voice reaching peak emotion. And as his son Max nods to his words, the sunset cascading shades of orange and pink in the background, pride radiates from the—

🝮 “Achoo-!” a very forced sneeze.

🝮 “Goo you idiot-!” You wail, turning to him with a scowl on your face.

🝮 “Excuse me-? And anyway this movie is boring! Let’s watch something else!”

🝮 Your frown deepens and you smack his hand away from the TV Remote. If you have any say, you two are going to finish An Extremely Goofy Movie.

🝮 But beside you, your goofy- Goo- is pouting like a baby.

🝮 As the movie continues you watch him in silence through the corner of your eye. You watch him stifle a yawn. Rub his eyes with his busted hands. Mumble about his sore neck.

🝮 You frown. It’s easy to recognize that his boredom has made him tired.

🝮 At first you just ignore him and let him be… at least until the end credits start rolling on the screen.

🝮 Your heart flutters as Goo reaches out for your thigh, crawling over you and resting his head on your legs.

🝮 You laugh, staring at the obnoxious expression on his face, “What if I was tired? How am I supposed to fall asleep?”

🝮 He lets out a gasp and frowns, stroking your arm lazily with his finger.

🝮 His expression remains the same… (° v °)

🝮 “How abo-o-u-ut… we b-o-t-h lay down, huh?” He asks slowly, dragging out the syllables

🝮 “Lemme turn on another movie first-” you mutter, leaning across his lean form to grab the remote. Beneath you Goo squirms.

🝮 Your finger barely presses the button before he snatches the remote out of your hands.

🝮 “Kim-!” You hiss irritably.

🝮 He ignores you (of course) and knocks you beside him on the couch.

🝮 “Shh, I got a good movie in mind-!”

🝮 Goo is laying with his back against the couch, surprisingly muscular arms wrapped around your waist.

🝮 You both face the TV screen; your head rests on a decorative pillow; his head lays on your chest.

🝮 By now you’re used to cuddling. Even if you’re not the biggest fan, Goo certainly is.

🝮 So when Newt dies and you’re the only one crying, you have to pause The Death Cure to glare at the man resting on your boobs.

🝮 Goo is sound asleep, rhythmic breaths ruffling your shirt. He looks calm for once.

🝮 Goo: 😴

🝮 You: 👺

🝮 He initiated it— and in return for falling asleep was banned from kissing you for the day.

𝐉𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐋𝐞𝐞

🝮 Today has been a long… long day.

🝮 You heard about the increased vocal training James had been undertaking…. And a little birdie also noted that he was more than good

🝮 You weren’t sure what to expect, really.

🝮 When you arrived at his newly furnished flat, you found him staring at the fish tank.

🝮 His hair looked neater. His eyes looked dull.

🝮 He looked incredibly tired, incredibly handsome, and made you feel incredibly unhappy.

🝮 “Hey Ja— Diego. What’s with the soft boy look?” You try quietly, smiling as you lug the groceries into the kitchen.

🝮 He remained stationary at the fish tank, shoving his hands into his pockets.

🝮 You: 🧍

🝮 He shrugged his shoulders, turning his angular face towards you lazily, “It’s my new face. If you got a problem with it then too bad.”

🝮 You shake your head slowly, releasing a heavy sigh.

🝮 You knew this transition would be… hard.

🝮 Especially now that your boyfriend was realizing just how much he would have to change to fit into his new persona.

🝮 And even if he agreed to it and claimed it was for the best, you couldn’t help but feel a little irritated.

🝮 What happened to that wolffish boy? The legend of the first generation? The boy who had winked at you when he had just pummeled your would-be-assaulters as though they were nothing but animals

🝮 James Lee was being restrained. Limited in this new form of himself- Diego. A K-Pop idol.

🝮 That’s not to say he didn’t look handsome, or still act like his charming self. He did. But his previous ferocity was extinguished… and it was leaving him feeling empty.

🝮 “You look nice,” you say, opening the fridge with the milk carton in hand. “It’s just different.”

🝮 “This was supposed to make me look hotter. Do I not look hot to you?”

🝮 You try to hide your smile. That’s a trick that won’t work on you. Whatever he’s doing will not seduce you.

🝮 You turn. And sure enough there he is.

🝮 Yeah. He does look hot. With his gently molded muscles flexing as he leans onto the kitchen counter, bangs curtaining his aristocratic face.

🝮 You thought James was handsome before. But this sealed the deal.

🝮 “Uh huh, whatever you say DG,” You turn away with a smirk. “Looks like someone needs a nap though~”

🝮 In the reflection of the shiny new stove you can make out his hand reaching for his eyes, rubbing tenderly beneath them on his dark circles.

🝮 “It looks that obvious?” “Only to me, babe.”

🝮 You walk over to the large, luxurious couch. You’re still getting used to being around all this fancy furniture.

🝮 The black leather sinks into your weight as you sprawl across the length of the couch, resting your back against the arm.

🝮 James trails behind you, laying next to you and wrapping his arm around your shoulders.

🝮 “Nuh uh…” you adjust, shoving him down. “None of that alpha male crap or whatever. Go to sleep.”

🝮 DG rests his head on your chest, looking up at you with watchful, dark eyes.

🝮 You play with his tufts of tamed pastel hair, smiling as he relaxes into your touch.

🝮 This is the result of years of trust stacking up. This is the result of James humbling himself and admitting he had caught feelings. You weren’t just another string attached to the whole conquering sham. You were his (Y/N).

🝮 His eyelids fluttered shut, long eyelashes resting against his soft pale cheeks. His breathing evened out, and James was officially asleep.

🝮 You smiled, leaning your head back onto the pillow. He was still just James.

🝮 You initiated it… but this wasn’t the first time.

𝐊𝐨𝐮𝐣𝐢

🝮 You never expected it to be such a mess.

🝮 Sure, you weren’t envisioning a neat, Candy-wrapper free environment that mirrored a magazine master bedroom, but still…

🝮 “Kouji… how can you live like this?”

🝮 You catch a glimpse of his cheeks flaring red.

🝮 “It’s not that messy. Don’t complain if I’m gonna be doing the actual job, otherwise I won’t do it.”

🝮 You nod to yourself, watching him flop onto his bed with his laptop.

🝮 He vaguely gestured for you to sit down, and you do so.

🝮 And then for the next hour or so, all you do is watch his purple head bounce up and down as he works his computer magic.

🝮 You: 😶

🝮 Kouji: 😪

🝮 By now the two of you have your backs to the wall. You’re actually leaning against it.

🝮 You watch wordlessly as his body slowly reclines backwards. His hands rub at his eyes more frequently.

🝮 His usual factual mutterings turn into nothing but incomprehensible gibberish

🝮 Those pudgy, mochi cheeks that drive you crazy are finally resting against your shoulder.

🝮 You try not to smirk— seeing as the arrogant genius is now out-of-his-wits and asleep on your shoulder.

🝮 And then as the two of you slide downwards, you begin to relax. After all, you and him have gotten pretty close-

🝮 Those baby-pudge cheeks make you want to melt.

🝮 Especially now that they’re on your chest—

🝮 🚨 🚨 🚨

🝮 “KOUJI WAKE UP!”

🝮 “H-Huh? What? JEEZ GET AWAY FROM ME!”

🝮 It was an accident. It was awkward. Maybe he banned you from his room? Or maybe it turned into a make-out session, who knows.

𝐕𝐢𝐧 𝐉𝐢𝐧

🝮 You don’t normally spend your weekends in his living room, surrounded by piles of snacks he doesn’t want to share.

🝮 Yet here you are.

🝮 Up until now, you and Vin haven’t hung out without Mary.

♕ Mary insisted she was sick today. And couldn't make it. 🙄

🝮 It was a load of bull. But whatever.

🝮 “Well what am I supposed to eat?” you snap.

🝮 He ignores you, but you continue: “You’re taking all the good snacks bro. I can’t survive on the crumbs- I’m growing to—”

🝮 Another obnoxious crunch.

🝮 Vin pulls his hand out of the bag, extending one measly puffy Cheeto.

🝮 “Here. Now shut up so I can focus.”

🝮 “Focus on what? Growing your overinflated ego? Just give me an actual snack.”

🝮 He has an entire hoard of chip bags surrounding him- as well as some pocky sticks and instant ramen that you know he’s hiding from you.

🝮 Vin looks up in your direction, his expression one of clear irritation.

🝮 “You aren’t even trying to write your song!” He grumbles, crunching on another Cheeto and crumbling up the now-empty bag.

🝮 You rub your temples, turning towards your music draft.

🝮 “I can’t focus with all your crunching. I need my own snack.”

🝮 “Why are you so hungry?” He asks, pencil scratching roughly on his paper.

🝮 You watch his side profile wordlessly. The seven-times-tinted sunglasses and swoop of bangs are sure to block his view…

🝮 You’re desperately hungry. Won’t someone give you something to eat~♫

🝮 You reach for the nearest back of Potato Chips, sliding the bag over to yourself as quietly as you can.

🝮 To your surprise; delight; shock; amazement; Vin doesn’t notice at all.

🝮 And then you try opening the bag-

🝮 “The hell?! You mother-“

🝮 Vin is grabbing your waist and you’re kicking at his abs.

🝮 “VinJin you jerk-!”

🝮 “(Y/N) you ass!”

🝮 “Potty-mouthed idiot-“ you roll on top of him, arms straining to hold out as you clasp hands with his larger ones.

🝮 “Snarky— perverted—” He grunts, his hands encasing yours as you two wrestle onto the couch

🝮 “You really fighting me, you coward?” You grit your teeth, kicking at his shins until he gives and falls onto the sofa.

🝮 You both pant, out of breath, until Vin flips on top of you-

🝮 “You started it!” He growls.

🝮 You refuse to look at him, especially now that you’re realizing he can be somewhat attractive…

🝮 His hands are still clasped firmly onto your own, and his brows are still knitted together angrily. “What? Are you mad at me for winning? Cmon, don’t ignore me… jeez you’re as annoying as Mary… (Y/N) come on—”

🝮 He’s about to flop his head into your chest.

🝮 You’re about to shove him into your chest to make him shut up.

🝮 His head is slammed onto your chest, and neither of you can find the words to complain.

🝮 And so it works out… and now the two of you are calming down. Actually… it’s getting a little too calm.

🝮 You open your heavy eyelids, glancing down at Vin. Sure enough, he’s asleep. And you feel the biggest urge to push him off the couch— but somehow you have the feeling that you shouldn’t ruin this moment.

🝮 Hell it was weird. You both initiated it…?!

🝮 This one is also freaking long… oopsies. Y’all got spoiled 💅

𝐒𝐚𝐦𝐮𝐞𝐥

🝮 When you’re dating someone as sadistic as Samuel, who’s alliance seems to always be jumping from one person to the next, and who’s mental stability relies heavily on how he lives up to his own standards, then you’re sure to experience the wipeout days.

🝮 The sort of days where the old person is gone, and he’s replaced by an empty shell of himself.

🝮 For Samuel- today is one of those days.

🝮 You sit on the modern lounge chair that overlooks the city below, feeling comfortable despite your usual fear of heights.

🝮 (If you aren’t afraid of heights then shut up and pretend because you are now 🤡)

🝮 Your legs are crossed, your laptop rests on your thighs, and you listen attentively to the streamer you’re watching.

🝮 Samuel stands by the window with his back to you.

🝮 Every now and then you glance up at him worriedly

🝮 He’s not normally this quiet around you… or so tame. Normally it’s a war zone of snarky and perverted remarks.

🝮 “Samuel…?”

🝮 He turns to you slightly, defined jawline taut and tempting. You see his eyebrows draw together tightly and his lips purse.

🝮 “Hmm?” he hums from deep within his throat.

🝮 “You okay? You seem kinda tense.”

🝮 He turns to you, and then you can see it.

🝮 The depressed, empty shell of your normally sharp-witted boyfriend.

🝮 You can see past his sterile gaze: a glint of short-temperedness in his eyes. The frown on your face continues to deepen.

🝮 “I’m fine. Thank you for being so thoughtful,” he smiles rigidly.

🝮 “What’s with you?” You ask as you set aside your computer, giving him the attention he deserves.

🝮 He shrugs his shoulders as he approaches your open arms, kneeling in front of you.

🝮 You slide out of the chair and sit on the floor with him. “Come on Sammy…”

🝮 And then you’re both laying on the floor, and his powerful form is suddenly vulnerable now that he’s wrapped in your arms.

🝮 You stroke his hair, combing beneath the buzz cut and into his thick roots, calming both him and yourself down.

🝮 His cheek rests on your chest, and he smirks up at you every now and then.

🝮 When he feels in the mood again, it’s sexy time and he’ll die before you find him in this position. But for now he feels comfortable… so he’s going to stay like this.

🝮 That angular face of his is pressed into your breast, and you can’t help but feel a little hot at the thought.

🝮 “Let’s just fall asleep right here.”

🝮 That’s exactly what you did.

🝮 You initiated it— since you’ve done it before. But it doesn’t happen often- so treasure his vulnerable side while you can 😩

🝮 Also I know his character design is just for sex-appeal…. But come on guys he needs more fluff content 🥺

[kaiowut99]

Crow Story Event 1 & Duel Lines Testing VS Aki | Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V TFSP Re-Translation Project (WIP)

(Project Announcement blog post/video)

With my GX 115-116 subs finalized in late August, I went on to get some re-translation work done on Crow's story (which is actually pretty cute around his kids trying to figure out how best to cheer him on and everyone else helping them) and his in-duel lines/bio, while also getting work started on GX 117-119 (and trying to finish up another thing I've dabbled with for months that I'll hopefully swing around to posting soon lol)--with all that done, figured I'd show off his story's first event along with some casual playtesting of his in-duel lines, as well as a peek at Aki's which I haven't shown off (unfortunately she didn't pull off Black Rose Dragon in this one, but her other decks were annoying to test with because of Black Garden lol). The in-duel anime OST was edited in by me, and I quite like how it came out! (The only songs I tweaked were Helpless Battle and Crow's Dueling; love how the timing worked out for the ones I didn't, haha.)

Quick note: Crow's attack-name line for his Arms Wing/Armed Wing has it as "Black Tornado!!", seemingly only in the TF games and in the Duel Terminals--in the anime and Duel Links, it's "Black Charge!!". To keep it consistent, I ported over his "Black Charge" line from DL to replace "Black Tornado" and tweaked the dialogue line accordingly (to this day, Crow still doesn't know where he got "Black Tornado" from). Also, a minor tweak since recording this, but I changed Crow's "I'm going to take you down!" in-duel line to "I'm gonna take you down" for consistency with how I was writing him.

(Also, replacing Crow's one voiceline got me curious about whether or not voices for the other characters that should have voicelines could be added back--I tested by making a folder for Johan and copying in Crow's line files, but I'm guessing it'll take more than that and involve editing the game's code since that didn't work... It'd be a matter of figuring out how to enable those characters to have voicelines, tell the game where to find them to play, and then probably also making them show up for the Voice Test in their bios... But questions for later. [That said, since it was so easy to replace Crow's line, it should be pretty feasible to replace budget!Kazama as Dark Yugi with Kazama's DL lines as appropriate, but that'll be a side thing once the base game's done.]

Going to go full speed ahead with finalizing my 117-119 subs, and then I'll come back to work on Kiryu and close out the 5D's big five's stories. But while mainly working on 117-119, I'll likely also be chipping away some more at the bios on my morning office commutes to keep myself busy, haha. Stay tuned!

Also, as a bonus below, here's a bit from Crow's second story event that I thought was amusing as I drafted it; this is as Crow's looking for his kids (who Martha can't find and is a bit worried about) and finds Jack having his usual ☕ time, ft Carly--and I can definitely hear them having this convo, haha.

(The "moment of zen" lines are from Carly, though I did think they were Jack's for a minute and thought Crow was yanking him from his coffee or something before I checked the game footage, lol. [Not shown here, but after the duel, Crow rushes off with Jack but leaves Carly with his coffee bill 😭])

[foxes-that-run]

Stockholm Syndrome

In the Four Hangout Harry said the song was about developing feelings for a kidnapper and applying the idea to enjoying the feeling of being trapped by love. When Liam talked about being trapped in a hotel room Harry cut him off with "This is more like about a nympho."

After What makes you Beautiful, Stockholm Syndrome is the 1D song he still plays most. It was on the Live on Tour setlist 2017-2018, but then not played again for 5 years. It reappeared on 13 May 2023, (While Taylor's surprise song was This Love). Harry then played it 18 more times to the end of Love on Tour. He also changed the emphasis on "Now he's changed his mind!"

Production

Harry said "Stockholm was a lot of fun to write." He seems to enjoy playing it too. Harry wrote it with the 1D writers, Julian and John, as well as Johan Carlsson. At the same time Johan & Harry wrote:

"A Little Bit of Your Heart" for Ariana Grande. Written around 20 February 2014, SS was probably written close to then, (the JALBOH timeline.) and

"I love you" for Alex and Sierra at the same time, which was May 2014 based on them sharing a photo of Taylor's cat.

It was on Four, released 17 November 2014, 3 weeks after 1989:

9 February 2014 Taylor wrote Clean in London

11 February 2014 she cut her hair off backstage after Red at the O2, Harry was spotted watching.

14 February 2014 - Taylor posted "there's nothing like real love" quote for valentines day. She released the Style Music Video 12 months later, which may have inspired Two Ghosts.

19 February 2014 Taylor wrote Style

March - May 2014 Harry likely wrote Stockholm Syndrome. It was Recorded by May.

Live Performances

Stockholm replaced Happily as song 7 on the OTRA setlist on 25 February 2015, the day after Taylor was seen with Calvin at the Brits. It was on the setlist for the rest of the tour. (it was in the Encore for the first few shows)

It was on Harry's Live on Tour main setlist in 2017 and 2018. On May 13 2023 it was added to the last 18 Love on Tour shows with Grapejuice.

Lyrics

[Verse 1] Who's that shadow holding me hostage? I've been here for days Who's this whisper telling me that I'm never gonna get away? I know they'll be coming to find me soon But I fear I'm getting used to Being held by you

The verses of Stockholm are questions, the chorus is statements. The first verse is asking the muse what they have done, how they have trapped Harry with love.

The Shadow/Ghost/Phantom is a reference to HYGTG and continued by both. See: Back from the dead theme.

How You Get The Girl “Stand there like a ghost shaking from the rain” (HYGTG was written January 2013)

Ready for it...? "Wonder how many girls he had loved and left haunted / But if he's a ghost, then I can be a phantom / Holdin' him for ransom"

So it goes "Gold cage, hostage to my feelings"

Two Ghosts

[Chorus] x2 Oh, baby, look what you've done to me Oh, baby, look what you've done now Oh, baby, I'll never leave if you keep holding me this way (Oh-oh-oh)

The theme of being unable to escape this recurrent love, a golden cage. Taylor has referred to this chorus twice:

In Ready for it..? "Keep him forever like a Vendetta"

Later still in loml "I’m combing through the braids of lies“I’ll never leave,” “Never mind”"

[Verse 2] Who's this man that's holding your hand and talking 'bout your eyes? (Oh-oh-oh) Used to sing about being free but now he's changed his mind (Oh-oh-oh)

The second verse is also questions, this time of Harry. Harry is asking rhetorical questions as he doesn't recognise himself, he is changed from wanting to be free to wanting to be with the muse. He is the one talking about her eyes, whereas in the past he didn't want to settle down.

When Harry first started singing the whole song in his solo career as in the top link he sang the line 'used to sing about being free' along the tune. In July 2018 and again when the song re-appeared in May 2023 he has emphasised "changed his mind" more and more.

I know they'll be coming to find me soon But my Stockholm syndrome is in your room Yeah, I fell for you

"They" is 'othering' anyone else. Other people, people not in the relationship will come and ruin it soon, Harry wants to stay where it is happy and he feels trapped, in the metaphor of loving a kidnapper this is the stockholm syndrome at work, he's fallen for the person he can't escape his feelings for. I hear 'they'll' be coming soon to also mean other people break the spell and will ruin this soon. It reminds me of

Where Do Broken Hearts Go? - Anyone in between is the enemy

[Bridge] All my life, I've been on my own (Oh-oh-oh) I used the light to guide me home (Oh-oh-oh) But now together we're alone (Oh-oh-oh) And there's no other place I'd ever wanna go [Breakdown] (Look what you've done to me) Baby, look what you've done

The guiding light to home is also a theme in Harry and Taylor's songs where they refer to each other as home:

Sweet Creature "When I run out of road, you bring me home"

The Lover Video included a home where every room was Haylor

Woman Exile has a list of Haylor Home lyrics

[ranposbabe]

Infidel | Johan Liebert x Reader

Chapter 11

The light shines through the old curtains.

It was too bright to open your eyes so you remain still as you lay in bed. Birds chirping outside as it is the only noise-

“Hello ?” A voice suddenly calls out.

Your head rises from your pillow, confused as to why and how someone’s in your apartment.

You squint at the clock on your nightstand. The one that you never use.

It’s just after eleven in the morning.

It was only then when you catch the sight of her in the doorway, bag hanging off her shoulder and coat in hand, your eyes widen in realisation. It’s Nina.

“What are you doing in my apartment ?” You briefly turn you head back before lying down again. Tiredness makes you lose your manners quite quickly.

“Your apartment door was wide open and it was dark ! It looked broken in !”

She doesn’t hesitate to sit down at the end of your bed as if she had been in your apartment on multiple occasions. Which she didn’t. You were too tired to care that your room was messy. She probably had to climb over the pile of clothes left on your floor.

On multiple occasions your father had a tendency to leave without closing the door behind. You wonder if he assumed you would simply follow him and close it behind him. Saving him having to do the work. Oh how that sounded so familiar.

You can’t recall the last time he appeared at your place with your approval.

He invited himself into your apartment last night to say how he had to reschedule the thing he wanted to show you. He spoke rather excitedly about it yet he didn’t offer you any clues at to what it was.

“So you just walked into an apartment that you thought was broken into ?” You scoff.

Nina definitely was a person would keep you wondering. A lot.

You raise a brow as she attempts folding a few tops laid out on the floor.

“Do you not have classes ?” You press on the matter. “Well yeah but I was having lunch and thought I’d stop by. I’ve been calling you these last few days too and you haven’t been answering.

That’s why I stopped by !”

Some previous few nights ago you unplugged the phone due to not wanting to hear your father constantly calling.

You forgot to plug it back in.

Not that you were sorry about it.

“Right.” You nod, finally sitting up.

“Don’t you have friends to keep you company ?” You shrug as she starts making a pile on your bed of all the folded clothing. She grins, clearly proud of herself for making them look so neat.

You couldn’t do that for the life of you.

“You are my friend y/n !” She laughs, waving her hand. In that moment you can’t help but stare. Her sapphire eyes glow in somewhat innocence yet a strong sense of will and ambition are present as well.

It sounds ridiculous but her eyes sort of remind you of another. But only the colour.

“Oh no ! I’m gonna be late again !” Nina practically jumps over your clothes and attempts to make her way out the door.

Her goodbyes are quicker than her hellos.

“Nina !” You call before she walks out.

“Yeah ?” She smiles, looking back at you.

“You need to work on your punctuality.”

It’s some time later in the evening and it’s dark out and as expected you’re extremely exhausted . Even after Nina left you remained in bed because you knew you’d need the energy for your case, you’d be working so late in the evening. Not only that but you knew you’d need the energy to deal with someone like Stella.

But you won’t be speaking to her for long. Not only because you’ve assessed that she can become irratible rather fast but also you just really want to go back to bed.

Down by the alleyway very near to where you first met Lita. You find a chatty girl talking to another young woman. Probably out on the job. A burgundy fur shawl that looks more expensive than your rent is wrapped around her shoulders. An obvious gift from her “man”. “You’re Stella ?” You nod as you stand before her.

The other girl barely looks at you before walking off. Almost as if she wasn’t there to begin with.

“What’s it to you ?” She asks, her painted nails on display as her fingers run through her curls.

Her hair reminds you of Marilyn Monroe.

“You don’t know me but I know Lita.”

It was as if she broke character as before she looked irritated but now her amber eyes widen in shock at your words.

She promptly looks away as her eyes glance back and forth between the alleyway and the apartment building above.

“You live up there don’t you ?” You nod at the window above. The lights shines dazzlingly as the sounds of girls giggling are loud.

“Whatever Lita’s been telling you she’s wrong ! He’s a good man.” She glares.

“I’ve gathered from just Lita alone that he’s a womaniser who lacks empathy and has the money to get rid of you.” You roll your eyes.

“But that was Litas input.” You smile.

“Stay out of it !” She steps forward in an attempt to intimidate you. Yet she fails as you remain where you stand.

“I demand that you leave it alone !”

You can’t help but smile and play dumb at her words.

You’ve never really been known to follow strangers demands.

If you wish to be added to the taglist please comment below to let me know!!!

TAGLIST: @nimuelis @meigalahadovna @sugaredpersimmon

[xraytheredx]

I posted 578 times in 2022

That's 188 more posts than 2021!

31 posts created (5%)

547 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@abitlyon

@sbpstudios

@hat-engineer

@othidar

@missazura

I tagged 253 of my posts in 2022

#bendy and the ink machine - 63 posts

#raysartwork - 20 posts

#joey drew - 18 posts

#sammy lawrence - 17 posts

#batim step right up au - 16 posts

#bertrum piedmont - 14 posts

#shadichi - 14 posts

#8-bit art - 12 posts

#pixel art - 12 posts

#johan ramirez - 10 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#i know i'm gonna forget the cool stuff later so best to write out what i'm thinking right then and then work the little things out later!

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

A fully pixelated version of the Archives from Chapter 4.

Holy Moley, this room was difficult. From the floors to the furniture, I had to figure out a whole way of making everything rounded out; lots of pixel-pushing and math, but man it was worth the effort in the end. 

Also, our first instance of Lost Ones! Don’t worry, they’ll become a bit more... lively the further we go. >u>

“Bendy and the Ink Machine” is owned by TheMeatly

16 notes - Posted August 5, 2022

#4

Runaway Buddy, Chapter 1: July 7th, 1946 (Part 1)

~ After a bit of searching, Buddy Lewek finds his way to the extraordinary circus, Colossal Wonders, and discovers quite a few surprises waiting for him. ~ ---------------- Set in @bertrumstrousers‘ Step Right Up AU; been working on it with him and others from his server for quite a while now, so I hope you all enjoy it. ^u^ A big thank you to @haunted-hijinxer for helping me with editing!

~~~~~ What should have been a simple 20-minute trip from Rosendale to Kingston managed to stretch into over half an hour, the result of the normal route apparently being under reconstruction. Late as it was, the old bus tried to speed up some in a small attempt to bring that early evening's ride to an end sooner. Though its driver had to be mindful of a few pedestrians and one ill-timed stoplight, it was finally able to bring itself to a stop at its designated curbside.

The moment the door slid open, all those aboard were more than prepared to begin filing out and onto the sidewalk, quite a few wearing looks of agitation, some of relief, and others wore no discernable expression at all. No matter the case, they were here now, best to get on with their own respective chores and errands already. All of them were quick to scatter and wander off amongst the rest of the crowd to do just that. Well, almost all of them.

Buddy made sure to square himself away in the nook of the nearest store front right after stepping off the bus, and there took time to stretch a little and fix himself up. In between straightening out his jacket and looping on the other strap of his backpack, he couldn't help but start looking all around the place. Truth be told, there wasn't very much here beyond the usual small-town shops and traffic, the same as a number of other towns scattered all around the outskirts he had seen coming in. Not to sound rude, the area was nice, scenic even but... he still had no idea where it was.

One of the two bundles of paper he had stuffed in his pocket got pulled out then, and unfolded to show the map hidden within. Spreading it wide, the teen scanned over whatever names and lines he could recognize across it while repeatedly glancing back at his surroundings for certain buildings or landmarks. Nearly as soon as this little back and forth had started however, it stopped, after one last over-the-paper's-edge check; another and possibly much easier solution had presented itself. Buddy fumbled but managed to fold up the map again and put it away, "'Scuse me! Excuse me, sir?"

The nearby old man looked up from sweeping off the front steps of his shop, confused, at least until he saw the younger lad making his way over, "Whatcha need, son?" he asked, opting to hold the broom at his side for the moment.

“Evening," Buddy greeted, "Sorry to bother, but I'm looking for Archgate? You happen to know if it's still here or did it already, uuhh...?"

He let the sentence trail off when it was obvious that he was just confusing the elder more. The old man had an eyebrow raised high, "What gate?" he asked. Buddy couldn't help but give a quiet annoyed groan. It was then that he brought out the other bit of paper he had, slimmer and more worn than the first, only needing to unfold it twice before holding it up for the senior to see. It turned out to be an old poster, very likely one that had spent time on the side of some outdoor wall before being peeled off and kept through the years as someone's keepsake. Illustrations of various odd characters decorated most of it, some posing and others performing outlandish or amazing stunts; each of them were captured in once-golden frames, arranged neatly across the page with the words "Archgate Circus" painted at the very top in large yellowed letters.

Both of the old man's eyebrows were raised now, looking at the thing. "The Archgate Circus. I was told it was somewhere here in Kingston, " Buddy clarified.

He waited a few long seconds as the man looked over the poster carefully, adjusting his thickly lensed glasses a little on the bridge of his nose. Even with time to think it over, the senior still sounded unsure with his answer, "... Well, there's a circus going on over that way, but it sure don't look like any of that," he said. One hand let go of the broomstick and waved lazily westward, "Go down this road and turn left at the big break in the trees. You can't miss all them tents."

"Perfect. Thanks so much!" With that, Buddy started walking fast in that direction, all too eager to bring his day of travelling to a close.

Exiting town down the west main road, there wasn't much to see on the surface; a large cluster of trees on the left with only a large ditch separating it from the pavement and on the right a large section of grassy field. Among the wildflowers and weeds, there were several cars parked alongside each other with a number of their owners leaving them behind in the makeshift parking lot, crossing the road, and onto the very wide worn out dirt path that cut right into the tree line. Walking down the length of it only took about a minute at most, but anyone could see what lay ahead at the very end far sooner than that.

The old Kingston fairgrounds, normally deserted minus the odd season's festival or concert, was now filled to the brim with fantastical carnival fare. Booths were set up with games and prizes to win, concession stands were selling all kinds of foods and treats; several tents stood tall and proud among them, holding their own side-show surprises and acts, no doubt, just as a circus should be...almost. Buddy looked around at it all with a healthy amount of excitement, as well as a large dose of shock.

Just about everything was done up in a dark and twisted horror theme, from the sound of distant music being accompanied by shrieks and wails to how no matter where you looked, you would find at least a few demon faces grinning back at you. The handful of performers he could spot walking around in the crowd seemed to be following that concept to the letter; the costumes they wore were elaborate, splattered if not covered head to toe in what looked to be black paint, or possibly tar? From a distance it was hard to tell which, but it scared the daylights out of passersby all the same. ".... Some of those rumors were pretty on point...." Buddy muttered to himself.

"Tickets!"

The young teen was snapped out of his thoughts and turned; out in front of the black and purple Big Top, there was a man standing at a tall podium shouting out to the patrons. He held his megaphone up high again, "Tickets, folks! Big Show starts in 5 minutes! Buy yourself a ticket and have it ready!"

A line of people had already formed, buying their tickets and heading for the main tent; two employees posted at both sides of the entrance happily took and tore each stub in half before letting anyone enter. Buddy paused, then dug into his back pocket for his wallet, opening it up; empty, save for a few bits of old lint, "Shit...". Out of everything in the fairgrounds, getting in there wasn't just one of the major things he wanted to do; he needed to get in. All thoughts turned to coming up with a plan B.

What he came up with wasn't something he was particularly proud of; a bit of walking around the perimeter and minding anybody who could be watching had led Buddy to slipping underneath a loose enough piece of the tent's tarp. Regardless, inside was inside and that was all that mattered. Other patrons were still busily moving about and filling the stands or chatting away loudly to one another while waiting to get their dose of thrills in just a few minutes. All of this gave the boy plenty of cover to sneak his way over to where he considered to be a good spot, crouched behind a few spare barrels and other equipment left between two stands. Not only would he have a good view of all three rings, but the action would be up close and personal.

It didn't take long for the audience to settle into their seats, nor for their chattering to quiet down into excited whispers once the lights began to dim. In its place, a drumroll from somewhere in the circus' band stirred to life. Spotlights from up above turned on one by one, lighting up a path across the stage and up to the large pair of black curtains at the far end.

The anticipation was left to grow for a few moments...

Suddenly the curtains were flung open with a crescendo of drums  and in marched the show's ringmaster, being immediately greeted by applause and cheers from all sides and all too happy to wave to them all in return. Buddy however just stared in astonishment. The gentleman's attire alone demanded attention, every bit from his polished boots to his decorated top hat shimmering in gold or a deep purple hue. That was to be expected, but the sheer size of him was not. The man was huge, a giant compared to any other adult. From the hushed comments and murmurs Buddy could hear around him remarking the same, he wasn’t the only one shocked. Here was somebody that could not be easily ignored.

A microphone was lowered down and hung right above a small circular platform placed in the middle ring. Stepping up, the ringmaster took hold of the device and began to speak in a loud confident voice that cut through any other sound, "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, children of all ages! Welcome! I am your ringmaster, the Great Bertrum Piedmont!”

This time every bit of the crowd broke out into cheers in response.

Bertrum gave a delighted chuckle, "Before we get things started, I have one question for you all… are you prepared to be thrilled, to witness the wondrous and exciting?"

As he spoke, his free hand moved to his belt and unclipped the looped-up whip there; a flick of his wrist and the length of it flung out and rested on the dirt floor. A hasty strike of a small hidden flint and the entirety of it up to the very tip was coated in flames.

"Are you ready for these Colossal Wonders~!”

There was one swift motion and a loud CRACK! echoed throughout the tent; the burning light of the whip quickly began to spread from where it had struck, just on the edge of the ring until it had managed to surround the entirety of it. Surprisingly, it didn't stop there; through some unseen means, the fire was able to branch itself off in opposite directions and repeat its route with the sister rings as well.

Any apprehension the audience had about the flamboyant introduction were promptly diverted by the whole band striking up into their first score. It was jarring in its beginning, but melted into a dark, bouncy melody, perfectly suited for what followed. In that same moment, the curtains opened again as wide as they could go; a twisted parade came out of the darkness and began its course around the whole stage. Large beasts of all kinds walked alongside demons and tamers, other performers riding atop or in the carriages they pulled along behind, all of them waving at the once again ecstatic crowd.

Even if he had to duck down from a few getting a little too close, Buddy took it all in with the biggest grin on his face; colossal wonders was right, this was amazing! He watched one very ornate black and gold carriage roll by with only one passenger, from what he could tell a tall and thin woman dressed all in black, save for the angel wings she had on... or did he see bat wings? It came and went too fast to really tell; ---

See the full post

18 notes - Posted January 22, 2022

#3

A fully pixelated version of the Inkwell Room from Chapter 4. “Bendy and the Ink Machine” is owned by TheMeatly

21 notes - Posted August 19, 2022

#2

Fully pixelated versions of the Level S Elevator and Management Rooms from Chapter 4. >u<

Finally reaching the lower levels of the Studios; the further I go, the crazier things get, the more little details I notice, and the more dirt and ink I need to draw on the walls XD We’re starting off with small spaces here, so decided to pair these areas together for you all, along with another lil’ Meatly doll tossed in. (Collect him, add him with the others in your inventory✨)

“Bendy and the Ink Machine” is owned by TheMeatly

57 notes - Posted July 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

See the full post

60 notes - Posted March 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[jprgirl]

The Almighty Johnsons S3E5 - Deleted Scene

The bit where Mike asks "Aren't you gonna ask me what Axl got?" and onward is actually in the episode.

Why I'm sad they deleted this scene:

The comment about Ty "still siding with his mother" is really enraging in a way, because we know (from canon and deleted scenes) that Joe hit Ty (a literal child) while he was trying to protect their mom from Joe's abuse. It's really gross, and even the way he calls Ty (who he hasn't known as Hod) "Jack Frost" feels so rude and dismissive.

In the final cut of the episode we don't see Joe ask about their mom, so I actually feel like the things he says later in the episode that make Anders slap him are even worse with this context. He doesn't even look like he cares that she's presumed dead. He had four children with that woman, quite spread out in ages, but I guess we can see there was no love there, at least by the end of it.

ALSO, Joe's derision about having to stick around because it's a Lofn party shows that he doesn't GAF about Karen either, so overall I think these few lines actually paint Joe in an even worse light than the final cut of the episode, because he doesn't seem to care about literally anyone at all.

Why I think it's okay this was cut:

I guess we can probably figure out that Johan doesn't have a choice about being present (neither does Axl, etc.), and his later comments about their mom show his lack of care there as well, but I think they could have kept this bit tbh.

I think maybe they cut it to paint him to be a little more ambiguous, so perhaps his trip with Axl wouldn't read as immediately problematic, etc., or at least Joe overall would inspire more of a "hmm I'm not sure about this guy" rather than "oh fuck this guy!" kinda vibe.

-

What do you think of this scene?

[kafkaoftherubble]

俺这个妹妹啊

I was trying to persuade my sister to watch Pluto on her own (I would just make her watch it with me if she were here), and the first thing she asked is: [Hot guys????]

Me: Uh... You better not expect JJK's level of Too Hot to Handle, 'cause everyone here kinda looks homely

[10 seconds before you start to bore me]

Me: Uh, I really like Atom! He's really cute! *shows picture* See?

[BRO THIS LITERALLY LOOKS LIKE MIDDLE SCHOOL-MANDATED MALAY LITERATURE COVER ILLUSTRATION?!]

Me: No, dawg Ain't no illustrator ever created something so adorable on their cover Okay fine, there's this guy who looks like your favorite "What Murdaaaa" character in Monster. Johan remember? The guy's name is Epsilon

[NOOOOO I AM NOT PEDO YOU IDIOT, I AM INTO AJUICY (**will explain later)]

Me: No, Atom is the boy, and Epsilon looks... like he's in Geto and Gojo's age?

(I'm not gonna let her know Epsilon is a robot now, am I? She's way less... diverse when it comes to biases. At least, species-wise.)

[OH YESSSSSSS FINALLY OKAY I CAN GIVE IT A TRY LIAO]

Me: Wait, there IS also this ajushi (uncle) character. It's the main lead. He's got a Kyle Hyde vibe but, ya know, he's reeeeeally ajushi. Afraid he's not ajuicy like Nanami. Also, he's married

[Issa okay, Gabimaru is also married and it didn't change shits! I love me a loyal husband man! I'll watch from far and not ruin marriages! Okay, I WILL GIVE IT A TRY]

---

(Yes, ajuicy is a play on the word ajushi. It's typical of us to make stupid puns like this.)

Well, anything that helps promote Pluto!

Next person on my agenda——mai besto furrendo! Watch out, Lyi!

[whobobreviewsstuff]

Review: Breaking Bad Season 2 Episode 5 - Breakage (SPOILERS)

S2E5: Breakage

Written by Moira Walley-Beckett

Directed by Johan Renck

So Walt and Jesse are back on track with the cooking. Operation going sideways thanks to two junkies? Hank tossing Tuco's metal teeth? Hank's secret bear shop? All here!

This episode is written by Moira Walley-Beckett whom you already know wrote the most famous Breaking Bad episode of all-time. So how does she start off her Breaking Bad career with this episode? Pretty good I'd say. It isn't as compelling as previous episode was but still there is plenty to love about here.

Like I said, Walt and Jesse get back to cooking and selling meth. Only this time Jesse suggests they can't do the same shit they started off as, now Jesse convinces Walt they should be like Tuco. Have a drug network that will make them more bucks than ever. So this starts off Walt and Jesse taking over the drug business. With Skinny Pete, Badger and Combo as distributors. I like how it starts off nice and easy for them. The montage of Jesse's crew selling drugs is so much fun to watch with nice music. And of course it goes sideways when Skinny Pete gets robbed by two junkies. So we see Walt and Jesse having an argument on how will this effect their business from going forward. I do see both sides' points here, though it is clear Walt is still being greedy and in the end, he lets Jesse he should take care of the problem which we will see in the next episode. Despite Jesse wanting equalitiy in partnership, he still gets none in this episode which is not surprising.

As for what happens to them in their lives, Jesse finally starts to get his shit together. He pays Badger's cousin the money back along with property damage, he gets a new rental house and it's all looking chill.

This episode finally introduces us to Jane who is played by the amazing Krysten Ritter. I knew her in Jessica Jones days (i watched Breaking Bad later on), so seeing her pop up in this show was a pleasant surprise and I really dug her character here. And what role she plays in this season is gonna be interesting to see once again.

As for Walt, tension between him and Skyler still rises. Skyler now smokes cigarettes and Walt is unhappy with it. Thinks it's so unlike her but he hasn't known her for a while. I loved seeing Skyler's struggle play out here. She knows smoking when she is pregnant was wrong, she still did it because of Walt's negligence and she feels ahsmed of it. It's hard to not feel sorry for her in this situation. And we see her confronting Marie on shoplifting once again, only Marie, the person who wronged Skyler this time, make amends with her. Finally comes into realization of what she put her through and she apologizes to her and come forth with the truth. We don't see how it plays out after they make peace but it's clear Marie is actually righting her wrongs with her sister as opposed to Walt doing it for his wife. Really interesting bit, I'll say.

This episode also focuses on Hank who suffers from PTSD thanks to Tuco shoutout. He gets promoted to a special force which should please him but it doesn't. Instead he calls a day off and starts making his own beer. How that played out near the end was suspenseful. Beer bottles popping up sounds just like gun sounds and Hank can't differentitate between the two, so it only creates more stress around him. So he finally gives up Tuco's metal teeth as a sign of him knowing that being a police has its price.

One little scene I loved here that perhaps doesn't get talked much is how Hank tells Flynn criminals are like cockroaches. When you see them, you step on it. But then we see Walt telling Hank what drives those criminals to do these heinous acts. It's clear that Hank doesn't see any good in criminals. He is a cop after all. He doesn't understand the complicated side of crime. Especially when people pull crimes out of desperation. Walt in this episode also feels same. He is unable to afford his medical bills, so he goes back to crime to earn money. It's interesting to see how it plays out here. Walt seeks reasons for being a drug dealer. That scene may not be as flashy as drug selling montage but it is the moment that stood out most to me.

I really had a great time with this episode, despite not feeling it's one of the best episodes of this season. What Moira does next with her episodes later on should be even more interesting.

Grade: 9/10

[brokensoulmates2000]

20th Century Boys and understanding Fukubei

TW: spoilers of 20th century boys.

Btw, my native language is not English so beware any mistakes :)

I like Naoki Urasawa's work. A lot. And I like noticing parallels. A lot too. So it's interesting to see how many of the ideas he used in 20th Century Boys pop up in Monster. The most important one probably being the identity problems his antagonists face.

You see, Johan and Fukubei share more than style. They are both men that barely understand themselves. Johan is a monster with no name and Fukubei is a man with no face. Their poor identity stems from the context they come from: one faced the aftermath of war and was the result of scientific experimentation, the other one lived through an era of hype for future progress that could never live up to its expectations. Now, in this... meta? Rambling? I'm not gonna do a deep dive on Johan cause there are far better essays analyzing him. I'm just pointing one of the many similarities between 20th Century Boys and Monster cause it's fun and I need an introduction before I dwell unto my subject: Fukubei.

On one of the first times he's introduced, he's showing his back to us while answering a question from his follower. Right there, he says he's Collins. We'll see this point being repeated over and over with him finally discussing it in far more detail the night he's killed in the science room. He's Collins because he was so close to the moon but never got the change to walk on its surface. He was overlooked and forgotten. No one ever paid attention to him.

It's clear what Fukubei wants: attention and recognition. The first person who notices him and spreads his story about the expo is Kenji and without him knowing, he gives Fukubei the thrill he was looking for: the feeling of being alive.

That's how Kenji became an important part of Fukubei's journey. He wants to be like Kenji and he wants his attention. I won't go into detail about their relationship cause I want to dedicate it its own post, but this is enough info for now.

To be honest I’m a bit inclined to believe Fukubei wanted friendship, but instead absorbed others. This all thanks to his poor grasp on his identity: he doesn't know where he ends and others start.

Also, let's note that Fukubei doesn't identify with either his name or Hattori. When he meets Sadakiyo, who is confused what to call him, Fukubei replies he should only call him friend.

And in that point the term "Friend" encapsulates Fukubei's emptiness. His lack of connection to his identity that it would only get worse as time went on.

This manga is full of motifs. One of the most important being the teru-teru bozu which captures the complex relationship between Fukubei's sense of self and his lies. The teru-teru bozu is introduced as a symbol of deception and tricks. Later we see many panels of Fukubei identifying with it.

Also -and this is me using the opportunity to share all of the screenshots I took of this manga- let's see when the narrative parallels him to the teru-teru bozu.

Just like Fukubei says when Sadakiyo asks why not draw a face on the teru-teru bozu: it's scarier without one.

There's a pretty big emphasis on how lies impact Fukubei's identity. They are there to compensate for his lack of identity. He believes his own lies and he later identifies with them so much being called a liar offends him. Again, let's see his reaction when Donkey calls on his bluff, and when he says to Manjome what he wants.

And...

Now, Fukubei refuses to acknowledge that the world is out of his control. Let's look at his death scene. How surprised he is of his own mortality. Another example is in chapter 172, one from his pov when he says "My dream is not a dream. It is not a dream, because it really will happen.” Look at the refusal to face the world.

Before I deep dive into a question I have about Fukubei, I would like to talk about the meaning of lighting a candle in the science room just to pay attention to Urasawa's amazing use of symbols. When Donkey steps into the classroom, he reveals Fukubei's miracle to be a trick. When Yamane waits for Fukubei in the classroom to kill him, he reveals him as a liar. Both Yamane and Donkey are men of science, lightning a candle in the middle of the darkness to dissipate the illusions and bring back reality.

Also, they both killed Fukubei in a way. Donkey by ruining Fukubei's miracle and Yamane straight up killing him.

In the science room Fukubei "died" and Friend was born. Friend is this persona, this literal mask people with shaky identities use to hide behind it. After Donkey ruined Fukubei's act in front of his group, Fukubei takes refugee in Friend. Friend is on top of the chain. He is the leader of the cult, the world president, the one who foresees the future. And by merging with him, Fukubei validates his own existence through the validation of his tricks as this persona.

And this mergence was doomed to happen. To hammer the importance of lies for Fukubei's identity before becoming Friend, let's see this panel of Yamane in the science room.

I know many people are intrigued about Fukubei's Friend, but I like Fukubei's backstory more. Especially when we start talking about The Hanging Hill, and a question that pops up while reading that part. Why can't Fukubei see the real ghost?

There are many ways to interpret the scene. The most logical being that maybe this part is there to remind us of Fukubei's inability to see the truth. But was this inability predetermined? Did he develop it? Does this mean that because he can't see the truth, his path was doomed to only see lies? How much agency would he wield in that case? From this reading, some readers might infer that Fukubei is probably mentally unwell. Personally, I'm not a fan of diagnosing characters with something. Maybe because if the story doesn't explicitly say what the character has (in that case, I can judge or seek others to judge how accurate the representation is), the writers code their characters with an agglomeration of characteristics from different mental disorders. Honestly, I won't dip my toes in these waters. Just a thought that occured while reading.

By the way, what Kenji, Occho and Sadakiyo saw in that room was a noppera-bo: a faceless ghost.

In case I forget this in my next essay about Katsumata, it's interesting how just like him, Fukubei had to die before Friend was born. Kinda highlights the unspoken importance of personas in this manga and its influence on the world.

Finally, this leads me to the heart of this post and the next ones: 20th century boys take refugee in Friend. Behind his mask, these men hide their fickle identities and their disillusionment of the future by trying to turn it into what they desire it to be. One of the most important themes in the manga are the acceptance of reality and the process from childhood to adulthood. Will you hide from reality and force the world to bend to your desires? Or will you accept the world as it is and take responsibility for your actions?

One last thing: I love how Urasawa tears down the image of Friend and shows how pathetic and sad the lives of those men behind the mask were. And all of this without justifying their actions. Urasawa doesn't let Friend's lies captivate the reader. He shows the ugly truth behind it. Many times in media, we mistify evil. Maybe because it is in its very nature to be mistified or maybe its in ours to mistify it. Either way, we understand what caused the birth of this persona and maybe for all us, 21st century people, this is the best advice we can receive from someone from the past century.

[mintpurrfect]

⩇:⩇⩇ — sweet night

⤿synopsys﹕ sleepy johan becomes clingy like a little puppy. cuddling with you made him realise how special you are to him.

⤿character﹕ johan seong x gn!reader

⤿genre﹕ fluff

⤿note﹕ Forgive me for I have said the forbidden words. I deeply apologize for telling the truth hurting Johan stans. Please accept this apology gift.

You went home late at night feeling exhausted after having just come from the library, studying for the upcoming exams.

As you were taking off your shoes a yawn escapes past your lips as tears formed in the corners of your eyes. You went upstairs and opened your bedroom door.

A smile graced your lips as you found Johan laying down on your bed all curled up under the covers whilst hugging one of your pillows close to his chest. You went closer to the bed and sat quietly on the soft mattress. You gently stroked his hair and kissed him on the crown of his head.

You were about to stand up to go downstairs when a large hand grabbed the hem of your shirt, making you look back to see Johan with his eyes still closed,

"Oh, sorry. Did I wake you up?"

Ignoring your question he asks, "Where are you going?" His voice sounded raspy and deeper than usual, a result of him just waking up. He opened his eyes and peered at you, his lips forming into a small frown.

"Just downstairs. I'm gonna get all cleaned up." You answered his question, smiling down at him, finding him rather adorable with his half-conscious state and sleepy face.

He tugged you closer to where he was, muttering softly as his grip tightened around your clothes, "Stay here."

You removed his grip from your shirt, chuckling at his behaviour. Walking towards your closet to get some clothes to change in, you glanced back at him before speaking,

"I need to clean up first." You said, voice firm yet gentle to the ears. You then closed the closet once you had grabbed your pyjamas that were covered with small puppy prints, ready for the night.

"Then I'm going with you." He said and started to get up from the bed. You faced him with a deadpanned expression, finding his words ridiculous, "Johan."

He stopped moving and looked up, tilting his head to the side in confusion, gaze turning towards you as you called his name in a flat tone.

"No."

"Why?" He asked innocently, making him look rather adorable as he stared at you with his wide doe eyes while sitting on the bed, hair all messy and shirt crumpled, a result of his nap.

"I'm going to the bathroom."

"So?" He still sounded confused which made you sigh,

"Johan, you... You just can't okay?" A frown made its way on to his face. He was about to say something to probably try and reason with you, but you beat him to it.

"Don't worry, I'll be back later. We can cuddle by then. Give me around... 15 minutes. Please wait for a bit."

Johan stared at you for a moment like he was contemplating what to say. Not long after, a soft sigh escaped his lips, nodding his head, letting you go and do your night routine.

"Okay, be back after 15 minutes. If it's past it and you haven't come back, I'll break the door."

You playfully raised your hand and gave him a salute, "Yes sir!"

Marching towards the door while holding your clothes, you left the room. The brunette watched your marching figure disappear when you closed the door behind you, a smile unknowingly makes its way to his lips.

...

Your 15 minutes were up and Johan stood up from the bed (he definitely didn't count the time), ready to barge in the bathroom downstairs and demand your attention but he stopped on his tracks before he can even take a step when he heard the doorknob turning, showing your figure as you entered the bedroom door.

"I'm back!" You exclaimed, walking up towards him with your arms outstretched as you embraced him in a hug which he didn't hesitate to return.

The two of you stayed like that for a while until you started to doze off, safely tucked in his arms. Johan noticed this and held your waist so you won't fall down the floor.

"Let's go get you to sleep."

You nodded your head and followed him as he led you to the bed. He climbed beside you and raised the covers for you to scoot inside. You smiled with half-lidded eyes and crawled under the blanket with him.

He immediately hugged you when you were finally settled comfortably beside him. You didn't mind the hug, and rather enjoying it a lot. You were trying not to fall asleep, moving around to find the best position to sleep in.

Once you did, you returned his hug and pecked his nose,

"I love you." You mumbled in a tired voice and buried your head against his neck, slowly falling into a deep slumber.

As you were fast asleep, he played with your hair for a while and occasionally gave your forehead sweet little kisses.

At that moment, Johan realized how much he truly adores you, thinking about how lucky he is to be the one whom you have ve chosen to be with for the rest of your life.

He sighs softly, smiling as he stares down at your sleeping face with the most lovestruck and goofy expression. Johan couldn't help but whisper to you, despite the fact that you're already knocked out cold from exhaustion,

"I love you."

[edited: 03/24/24] (slight change)

[thenovelartist]

Sei's Magic Brew - The Saint's Magic Power is Omnipotent fanfiction

I'll just go ahead and dedicate this to my friend @mostlovedgirl-writes who got me hooked on this show in the first place. It can also serve as an early little birthday gift, too. ;) :D

It wasn’t her idea to move here. It was her stupid, faulty car’s.

It had stalled out while she was driving to another city on a business trip. She’d had to have it towed, then call her company and explain what had happened, only to get fired when she told her boss she couldn’t make it to the meeting on time and she was sorry.

After being so quickly let go by a job that clearly never cared for her, she’d ended up in a coffee shop after that while her car was getting fixed. The man behind the counter, Jude, had been kind enough to sit with her and strike up a conversation. He’d lifted her spirits when she’d felt trapped and hopeless.

That had been three months ago. It had been an impulse, but with nothing to lose, she left the city and moved into a quaint little apartment close to the café where Jude also happened to live. He’d been the one to recommend the place. On top of that, despite not knowing her well, he put in a good word with the owner.

Jude had also put in a good word with Johan, the owner of the coffee shop, and he’d hired her right away. Though, Sei learned later that Johan had eavesdropped on a conversation over coffee she’d had with Jude and that was truly what had convinced him to hire her.

She’d worked extra hard to prove herself but ultimately found she hadn’t needed to. Her coworkers had welcomed her into their ranks and had been willing to assist her as much as she’d needed.

But three months later, the tables seemed to turn because she had somehow picked up everything almost too quickly.

“You’re experimenting with drinks again.”

“We have time,” Sei said, putting the final touches on the drink. “And Johan said I could.”

Jude rubbed the back of his neck with a sigh. “I mean, yeah, but tell me: how many drinks have you made today?”

Sei froze. “Uhhh…”

In an instant, Jude was smirking at her. “Over your allowance today?”

“Well…”

“And it was slow enough today that you were able to experiment with pastries earlier, too,” he continued, his smug smirk growing. “Now, we have another set of unsellable experiments that we’re gonna have to find other ways to get rid of. Johan’s gonna yell at you again.”

With a groan, Sei slumped forward, hiding her face in her hands. “Sorry.”

“Not me you gotta be apologizing to,” Jude said, taking the drink and taking a sip.

Curious as to what he thought, Sei spread her fingers to peek between them, only to see Jude glaring at the cup. Her heart sunk. “Is it that bad?”

“As if you make anything bad!” he huffed. “It’s too good is what it is. You’ve only been here three months. I can’t just make things up like this, nevertheless making them look as perfect as you do. It’s not fair.”

With a giggle, Sei gave him a light punch on the shoulder. “Stop, you’re plenty proficient.”

He glared at her as he took another sip of the drink. “Yeah, but not like you.”

Sei simply shrugged, unsure how to respond to that.

Jude just sighed, taking yet another sip of the drink. “Anyway, I heard you and Johan had a little chat recently.”

Sei brightened. “Yeah. Apparently, he wanted to promote me to assistant manager.”

“You’re certainly good enough for it,” Jude said. “But don’t get too excited.”

Sei’s expression fell. “Huh? Why not?”

“Because ‘Assistant Manager’ is just a fancy title for ‘Person who runs the red-eye shift’.”

Sei blinked once. Twice. Three times.

Jude smirked over his coffee. “He didn’t tell you that, did he? Well, good luck, Sei!”

…

Before moving to the city, Sei had grown up in the suburbs, so the town didn’t feel like too large of a culture shock to her. Honestly, she could say that she actually preferred living in a place without skyscrapers or constant bustle, and while she’d once thought she wouldn’t be happy living in a place like this, she’d gotten to a point in her life where she could really see herself settling here.

Even if it meant she ran the midnight shift at a small little cafe.

Sei really didn’t mind. She frequently pulled all-nighters at her old job, so she fancied herself a bit of a night owl. However, she hadn’t expected things to be as busy as they were. Johan had warned her that the café was a hopping place, even when the moon was up, and he hadn’t been lying. Apparently, it had all started when Johan allowed his close friend to linger in the café after hours, which had turned into said close friend and his colleagues. Before Johan knew it, the place soon became the go-to spot for police officers, firemen, and the occasional EMT crew to get their caffeine and sugar fill to sustain them through the ungodly hours of the night.

But that wasn’t all.

“There’s an elite private boarding school, Salutania Academy, just down the street, you see,” Elizabeth, a regular night visitor who Sei had become fast friends with, explained. “This place has the best coffee and is a generally quiet place to study. So students come here frequently.”

“That makes sense, then,” Sei said, handing Elizabeth her caramel latte. “But I’m a little surprised. I would have thought there’d be a curfew or something of the like, since you’re all still underage.”

“You’d think,” she said with a smile. “And there technically is. However, ever since this place began staying open all night, some of the upperclassmen started sneaking out to come here, which turned into this whole debacle among the students trying to outsmart the staff and the staff ratcheting down on the students and the whole school suffering for it. Something had to be done, so the headmaster and Johan struck a deal. Now, the curfew is still instated, but if you have solid enough grades and no active demerits, you can put your name down on the list and campus security guards will escort us here to study and grab a coffee or just chat. They don’t monitor us too severely; they’re just here to make sure everyone is accounted for.”

“That’s incredible,” Sei said, able to talk freely since Elizabeth was the last student that had to be served that night. “You’d think the school would try to create a similar atmosphere at their own library.”

“Oh, they did,” Elizabeth said. “But turns out that one of the students who snuck out was the headmaster’s son.”

“What!” Sei whisper-hissed, her eyes wide in shock.

With a giggle, Elizabeth nodded. “I’m not at liberty to discuss everything, but there was a discussion between the two that ended with him getting banned from going out on these outings but the headmaster deciding to let other students have the option.”

“Wow. That feels kinda harsh.”

“It might be, but Kyle knew what he was doing and knew he was going to serve to consequences of his actions. Don’t judge him too harshly, please. He’s actually a good man.”

“You’re close to him?”

“He’s my boyfriend.”

Sei’s eyes widened again.

“Maybe I can figure out a way to bring him sometime so you two can meet. We’ll have to work around your work schedule and our curfew, though. Coffeeshop curfew may be midnight, but regular curfew is eight.”

Sei hummed in thought. "Maybe before I start a shift, then. I’ll have to come early.”

“That would be great! Now, as much as I want to keep talking—”

“You have to go study?”

Her sunny expression vanishing, Elizabeth sighed. “Why do finals have to be so hard?”

“Because the teachers want to kill you all, obviously.”

“Obviously,” Elizabeth mournfully agreed, sipping her drink.

Sei giggled, reaching over the counter to pat Elizabeth’s hand. “Best of luck.”

“Thanks. I’m going to need it.”

…

Before the clock could strike midnight, the campus security guards began to collect all the students, and by quarter past, the café had become a ghost town. That was the transition from hosting mostly students to when the red-eye emergency servicemen began appearing.

Of all the people she did serve, very few lingered, most only swinging by on a break. However, there were a few police officers that came in between two and three every night that liked to chat.

And their arrival was punctuated with the ringing of the bell by the door.

“Good evening, boys,” Sei greeted with a smile.

“Seeeeei!” One of them whined, playfully stumbling up to the counter and leaning against it. “I need your magic potion!”

She laughed. “Coming right up. The usual for everyone?”

“Please,” came the chorus.

With a smile, she got on brewing a strong pot for the officers. They occasionally grabbed pastries, but normally, they brought full meals to eat.

“The night going well?” Sei asked as the officers all gathered around the counter.

“As well as always,” one of the officers, Wolf, said.

Sei always took that as “It’s been generally quiet” while knowing better than to utter that cursed ‘q’ word in the dead hours of the night. “Glad to hear.”

“Nah, boss,” his partner spoke up, slapping Wolf’s chest with the back of his hand. “You gotta tell her about the bar fight.”

“Oh geez.” Grinning, Wolf shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “With the guy who thought he was a dragon?”

“Didn’t he say he was a Salamander?”

“Yeah, that.” Wolf chuckled. “So Sei, let me tell you about this nutjob.”

…

Sei couldn’t lie, she was growing fond of her night shifts. It allowed her to experiment in the back during the super dead hours, which already resulted in two new pastries being put on the menu.

And she was in the middle of creating her third when the bell rang, signaling a customer.

She quickly bounded to the front, eyeing a stoic man with glasses and such light blond hair it looked white. “Hello,” she greeted with a smile. “What can I get for you tonight?”

“A double shot of espresso,” he said, voice wrought with exhaustion. “Of whatever is your strongest blend.”

“Long night?” she asked, trying to make conversation as she punched in his order.

He sighed, letting his eyes close for a moment as he collected himself. “Very.”

She gave him a sympathetic smile. “Anything else to go with that?”

“No. He can pay for his own drink,” the man muttered, already sticking his card in the reader.

She didn’t know how to respond to that, nor did she feel like she needed to since it sounded very much like he was talking with himself. “I’ll get your drink out in a minute, Mr…”

“Hawke,” he answered. “Erhart Hawke. Forgive me for not introducing myself. It’s been a long night. I forgot that while I’ve heard about you from Johan, it was unlikely he’d talk about me.”

“It’s fine,” she assured, already starting in on his drink. “That happens to the best of us. I’m Sei Takanashi. It’s nice to meet you.”

Suddenly, the door to the shop flew open, the clanging bell drowned out by the crash of the door. “Erhaaaaart!” a voice cried, a man practically stalking over to him with a dramatic pout. “You left me! I told you I wanted to try the magic potions here, too!”

Erhart pinched the bridge of his nose, right where his thin glasses sat. Suddenly, Sei understood why he wanted the double espresso.

“Yuri, for the love of—”

“Everyone’s been saying how good her drinks are, and I wanted to try them. You told me when I got out of the hospital, you’d bring me by here. But my first day back on the job, and you wouldn’t let me out of the office to get some.”

“That’s because you had too much work you needed to finish first.”

“But if I had a coffee, I could have worked faster.”

Again, Erhart pinched the bridge of his nose. Sei sympathized with him. She was sure she’d lose it if she had to deal with a guy like him frequently.

“Anyway,” the newcomer chimed, turning a mega-watt smile her direction. “I finally get to meet the Saintess of the Night! What’s your name?”

She quirked a brow at him. “Saintess of the Night?”

“Yeah!” he cried. “Everyone talked about how your coffee is magical. Which, we expect from this place, but for some reason, people say there’s something about the way you can make a drink that makes it extra special. I wanted to try it for myself.”

“O-oh,” she said, turning her head away from him, pretending she was watching the last bit of the second espresso shot drain into Erhart’s cup instead of trying to hide her blush. “I never heard such a thing.”

He nodded vigorously. “They say you’re the only reason they’re still awake and kicking throughout their shifts. So I wanted to try it for myself!”

Something told her he had no problem keeping awake during his shift, considering his current energy level.

“So, you’re Sei, right?”

She nodded as she handed Erhart’s cup off to him. “That’s right. And you are?”

“Yuri Drewes,” he piped, beaming grin on his face. “Night-time fire chief at the station down the street. I would have come earlier if I’d been able but I was tied down in a hospital bed after getting knocked out on a job a few weeks back. I’m glad to finally get a look at you!”

A nervous giggle escaped her. “I’m nothing special.”

“Anyone who keeps this shop open throughout the night is special!” he insisted. “Especially if you can make a magical cup of coffee.”

“Ah ha… er… I don’t know about that,” she stuttered with a shrug.

“Then I guess I’ll just have to see for myself,” he said. “One mocha, double shot, please.”

“Decaf,” Erhart mumbled.

“But I need caffeine!”

“He does not,” Erhart insisted, looking Sei dead in the eye. “I can confirm this as his second-in-command who runs shifts with him three nights a week, he does not.”

Feeling herself almost cowering under that intense expression, Sei decided she was more willing to take his word as law over Yuri’s. “One decaf mocha, double shot.”

Yuri shot another pout over at Erhart. “You’re so cruel.”

“You won’t even notice.”

…

It was getting close to six in the morning, meaning it was almost time for Johan to appear to take over. This was when the early birds began coming in, snagging a coffee on their way to work.

Today, the first early bird who stumbled in right at the crack of dawn happened to be a girl who looked beyond lost and hopeless.

Sei put on her best smile. “Good morning!”

“Hi,” the girl said with a shy wave. “Um… I… could you help me? I’m lost and my car died.”

Immediately, Sei sympathized with the poor girl. No wonder she looked super tired. “I’d be glad to help. Tell you what, why don’t you take a seat for a minute while I make a call to the repair shop. I happen to know it by heart because my car did the exact same thing recently.”

That at least got the girl to relax a bit. “Thank you.”

“No problem,” Sei assured. The girl didn’t look to be older than in her teens yet seemed to be on her own. Sei could only imagine that this was overwhelming for her. “What’s your name?”

“Oh, uh, Aria.”

“Aria.” Sei extended her hand out to the girl. “I’m Sei. It’s nice to meet you.”

Although hesitant, Aria did accept Sei’s hand to shake. “Nice to meet you.”

“Before I go make the call, would you like a drink while you wait? The tow truck guys will probably be another fifteen minutes to get here.”

“Oh, uh, no, thank you,” she stuttered out. “I don’t really drink coffee.”

“Then a hot chocolate maybe?” Sei offered. “Or some tea?”

For a moment, Aria pondered her words. “I… I’ll have a hot chocolate, please.”

Sei grinned, not bothering to punch it into the machine. But when Aria reached for her purse, Sei wave her hand dismissively. “It’s on me today.”

Aria’s eyes widened. “What?”

“Yeah.” Sei gave her a sympathetic smile. “Four months ago, my car really did do the same thing, deciding to break down when I was driving through town. I ended up here, and someone was kind enough to offer me a drink and call a tow truck for me. I know it can be overwhelming, but sometimes, something really simple like someone being understanding or a hot drink can help a lot.”

Aria looked on the verge of tears as she put her wallet back in her purse. In that moment, she seemed very young and simply overwhelmed. “Thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome.”

Mere minutes later, the tow truck was called and the hot chocolate was made. Balancing a plate of pastries and two mugs, Sei made her way over to where Aria had settled herself in a winged back chair by the window.

“Here,” Sei said, setting down the dishes in her hands. She scooted the hot chocolate mug, one completed with a whipped cream swirl and chocolate drizzle, over to Aria while the other mug with Sei’s preferred coffee drink stayed by her side of the table. “And I didn’t know what you liked,” Sei continued, pushing the plate of various pastries she’d brought over into the middle of the small table. “So I brought over a couple.”

Aria looked between the cup and the pastries, and her eyes got glassy again. “Thank you. You’re really kind.”

“You’re welcome,” Sei chimed. “So Aria, are you just passing through town?”

She shook her head. “I just transferred over to Salutania Academy, actually.”

“Oh!” If she was that young yet able to drive on her own, Sei reasoned she was likely only sixteen or seventeen. “I know several people who go there. The students frequent this place a lot.”

“Oh?”

Sei nodded. “Yeah. If you’d like, I can introduce you to some people.”

The conversation continued on for another ten minutes, and Sei watched as Aria slowly came out of her shell. She seemed to be a sweet girl, and Sei couldn’t help but think that maybe she and Liz could become friends.

The bell above the door rang, and Sei looked up, fully expecting to see the tow truck guy.

Instead, there was a man with fiery red hair that she would recognize anywhere, along with his closest friend.

“Good morning, boys,” she called out. “I’ll be right with you.” She then turned back to Aria. “Excuse me.”

“No no, you’re fine,” Aria assured with a smile, one that was now relaxed instead of super shy. “Thank you for all this.”

“You’re very welcome. The tow truck should be here shortly, so don’t worry.”

Aria nodded. “Thanks.”

Grabbing her empty coffee cup, she scurried back to the counter. “Ditching school again?”

“We had good reason,” Kyle said.

“Good reason to be up and out before six in the morning?”

“Early morning run,” Kyle’s companion explained. “For sports.”

“Ahh, that makes sense. So, what can I get you?”

“One of your unusual experiments and the usual drink,” Kyle answered.

“Got it,” she said with a grin, ringing up his order. Once he paid, Sei then turned to his friend. “Do you want the same, Damian?”

The young man nodded. “Thank you, Sei.”

“Of course.”

In a jiff, she rang up Damian’s order, then quickly began getting their coffees ready. “By the way,” Sei began. “The girl behind you that I was sitting with earlier, she’s currently waiting for a tow truck, but she’ll be starting at the academy next week.”

“Oh?” Kyle said, turning around to look at Aria.

“Would you mind helping her out around campus?” Sei asked. “I remember going to see Elizabeth a couple times and almost getting lost.”

“We’d be glad to,” Damian said with a grin.

“Of course,” Kyle agreed.

“Thank you. I’m sure she would appreciate that.”

As Sei started making the boys’ drinks, she caught sight of the two approaching Aria, introducing themselves if the handshake was any sort of indication, and then starting up a conversation.

By the time she’d put the lids on their drinks, the bell to the door rang, and she caught sight of a tall, brawny man striding through the door.

“Sei!”

“Hey, Leonhardt,” Sei greeted with a smile. “Good seeing you again.”

“Same. You don’t come ‘round a whole lot anymore.”

“Guess I don’t have much reason to between my car not being there and my night shifts.”

“True. Wish that wasn’t the case, though. Nice seeing your face every once in a while, ya know?”

“I get it. By the way, you have coffee yet?”

“I was just ‘bout to brew a pot when I got your call,” he said with a grin. “Which was on off-hours, by the way.”

“I know,” she said, already starting up a drink for him. “But I know you’re up at this hour anyway because you like the mornings too much.”

He laughed, loud and hardy. “You remember that?”

“You mentioned it frequently,” Sei playfully retorted.

“Ha, fair.” He then leaned against the counter. “Now, much as I’d love to chat, guess you didn’t call me up for that. So, where’s the car? Was it that little gray one on the side of the road I saw comin’ here?”

“Yes, that’s it,” Sei said. She then pointed towards the group gathered in the corner of the café. “The young lady over there, Aria, is the driver.”

“Got it,” he said with a thumbs up. “I’ll take care of her.”

“Thank you. I’ll have your drink done for you in a minute.”

“Thanks,” he said, tossing a couple bills on the counter.

“You want change?”

“Nah, keep the tip.”

“Thanks!”

…

After the car incident was settled and Sei waved Aria off with a smile, Johan appeared.

“Good morning, Sei.”

“Good morning!”

“Night shift go well?”

“Yeah.”

“How much experimenting did you do?”

“Actually, not too much tonight.”

Johan gave her a dubious look. “Really?”

“Really!”

“How much is ‘not too much’?”

Before Sei could answer, her boss already was heading back into the back.

“W-wait!” she cried, scampering to follow.

Once in the back, Sei simply hung her head as Johan stared at the rack stuffed to the gills with three new kinds of pastries.

“Seeeeei,” he strung out before shooting her a tense smile.

Sheepishly, she smiled back. “Uhhh, ah-ha.”

“Keep this up, and I’m banning you from the kitchen.”

There was nothing she could do other than hang her head in shame. “Yes, sir.”

…

Despite being kicked out of the kitchen, she knew Johan wasn’t angry angry. He never got truly mad at her. It was more a warning of “please don’t overdo it”.

Which… she still had to learn how to temper.

She was never punished for these incidents, sans the occasional ban from the kitchen. Today, however, she was tasked with running an errand before she could go home.

“Take some of those pastries and an iced coffee to an old friend of mine, will you? He normally comes in, but since he’s recovering from an injury, he’s stuck on desk duty.”

Sei was more than happy to serve such a light sentence, and hopefully, she’d be able to bring a smile to his friend’s face. Looking at the name on the paper he’d given her, she recognized part of it.

Hawke. Wasn’t that Erhart’s last name? Was it a relative? Or just coincidence. Johan hadn’t said.

When she got to the police station, she followed the crude map that Johan had drawn for her to where she could find this Mr. Albert Hawke.

“Are you Sei?”

Before she could even reach her destination, a uniformed man called out to her, and she froze for a moment. Blonde hair, stunning blue eyes, tall with broad shoulders…

Oh, he was so her type.

Eventually, her head caught up with her, and she realized he’d asked her a question. “Yes, I’m Sei. You wouldn’t happen to be Albert Hawke, would you?”

“That I am,” he said with a smile. He then took a few steps away from the wall to walk over to her, limping all the way. “Johan said he would send you over with a coffee and breakfast.”

“Oh, I’m glad he told you to expect me.” Sei extended the coffee and bag of her treats to him. “Here. I know he said you usually order a different pastry, but he also wanted to get rid of some of my… er… experiments.”

Albert laughed, and Sei’s heart did a funny flip in her chest. “He’s told me all about that. But I've also heard your 'mystery pastries' are popular sells. I'm glad I get to try one.”

She shrugged. “I’m just glad people are enjoying what I make. I’m very thankful to have this job. It’s fun.”

“Fun, you say?” he asked with a grin, opening up the bag to look at the pastries inside. “Even though you work the night shift?”

“I’m used to it by now,” she dismissed. “And there’s some great people I get to meet in those off-hours that I wouldn’t cross otherwise. What’s there to complain about?”

Was it just her, or did his smile get brighter? “That’s one way to look at it. I usually work night shifts, but my schedule was thrown off due to a work injury. I’m hoping to get back on the beat, soon. Then maybe I’ll be able to see you more frequently.”

Yes, please! She thought. Thankfully, she had just enough tact to hold that in. “That would be nice. I’ll be sure to prepare whatever you’d like.”

“I’d like that,” he said, his smile turning even warmer for a second. “And as much as I’d like to keep talking, I’m sure you’re tired, and I have a stack of paperwork to attend to.”

“Then I’ll let you go. Sorry for keeping you.”

“Don’t be,” he assured. “My sleep cycle’s been thrown off so badly that I don’t know how I’d keep going without ‘Sei’s Magic Potion’.”

She felt heat rush to her cheeks. “You’ve heard about that?”

“Of course, I have. It’s the talk of the town."

Sei didn't know how to answer that other than blush.

"Thank you for the delivery, Sei. Maybe next time, I’ll come see you instead of you having to make the trip.”

“Oh, it was nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

He gave her a smile that had her going weak in the knees. “Still, thank you. Have a good day.”

Her heart was fluttering by now, her stomach in knots and mind a mess. “Y-you too.”

As she spun on her heel and headed home, she couldn’t help but think herself lucky to have her job. Particularly if she got to meet tall, blonde, and handsome again.

Thank you, car, for breaking down here!

[seqka711]

Ranking the six main boy/girl ships in Yu-Gi-Oh from best to worst!

Not all main girl ships are created equally, I'm afraid. Let's take a look at each ship and see what's up! (Except Sevens because as I mentioned in a previous post, I am way too far behind to comment on anything in that show.)

First up is Anzu and Yugi! And YES I do ship them! However, I don't ship Atem and Anzu. Anzu was friends with Yugi, and started to see him in a different light when Atem started showing up. However, those changing feelings also started to influence her feelings about Yugi as well. We saw that in Duelist Kingdom. Then in season 2 when she realizes they're two separate people, she gets really confused! Anzu doesn't know how to feel anymore! Then Atem and Yugi are both playing wingman for each other, so that's not helping matters. I don't really ship Atem and Anzu because Atem just doesn't seem super interested in their date. I know he had other things on his mind, but if they wanted me to ship it, now was the time to show off some chemistry and they didn't.

We saw in GX that Yugi grows up to look just like Atem and he also grows more confident over the course of the series. After the end of Duel Monsters, I think they're both too hurt by Atem's passing to be digging on each other. But, distance makes the heart grow fonder, and I feel like she's gonna come back from the states and have some heart-pounding feelings when she sees him again. And Yugi's feelings didn't change, they were just put on the back burner. So hopefully when they meet back up, sparks are gonna fly! At least, I hope so. <3

~

Next up is Asuka and Judai! When I watched their first duel, I was 100% on board with this ship. They were cute, they had great banter, it was a fair fight. I loved it! But over the course of the series, I started losing interest in their relationship, fast. By the end of season 2 I was pretty convinced they had abandoned Asuka x Judai for Asuka x Manjoume, and honestly, I was 100% on board with that, I love a good romcom couple and those two have dysfunctional romcom energy. Plus they had evil power couple vibes when they were running the Society of Light together, so I thought for sure they were gonna have Manjoume and Asuka be better friends post possession.

Then season 3 came a long and I was like "woah, they DID do that on purpose! I was right!" when we saw the Judai x Johan x Yubel love triangle they spent the entire season on. Asuka and Manjoume were of course relegated to background characters, as was everyone who wasn't a transfer student. And then the series ended with a pretty definitive Judai x Yubel ending and I was like "cool I like it".

But then season 4 made me question everything by making it clear that Asuka was still crushing on Judai?!?! Uhhh.... what? You haven't mentioned this crush in OVER TWO YEARS ASUKA. You've both changed so much! I thought the whole point was "she had a fleeting crush on him in year 1, but people change and so do our feelings"! I thought they had her fall out of love with him on purpose!! You're telling me the writers just wanted us to ASSUME she was still in love with him this whole time?!

I honestly love the whole "had a crush on him, now that I know him better, he's an amazing friend but I don't like him that way anymore" dynamic and they RUINED IT so bad. And for what? To say "well they fought the whole time, but now look! They can tag duel together!" Well, jokes on them, because a few episodes later Judai and Johan will show off some of the tightest teamwork in the show and I'll have to throw Asuka x Judai in the trash. </3`

~

Yusei x Aki!!!!!! AHHHHHH I LOVE THEM. Their first duel is very romantic in my opinion. Yusei lives to help people, and it's actually a flaw of his that he'll help people no matter the cost. Usually that's sort of a "who cares" flaw in a protagonist, but for Yusei, it adds a lot of depth to his character. The reason he helps people even at the cost of himself is because he feels enormously guilty due to his parents' involvement in Zero Reverse, and he feels like he owes the world (but especially Satellite) everything. Yusei tried to go to jail in Kiryu's stead, but failed, and I think that only compounded his guilt even more.

Then, when Yusei sees the chance to help Aki, he does it. He's scared of her, but he rallies his courage to face her so that he can help her. And it's only natural that Aki would fall hopelessly in love with him after he continually put himself at risk over and over again JUST to help her. I love the episode where she rescues him from being kidnapped and then accompanies him on a riding duel. I think it hits me harder because it reminds me of how much I want to drive a motorcycle but can't because of reasons I won't go into. But part of her desire to learn to riding duel is because she wants to feel the same things Yusei feels. And that's so cute!

Unfortunately, I do have a certain headcanon that gets in the way of my shipping desires. I won't get into the whole headcanon, but I think Yusei might have ended up time travelling back in time to fix Zero Reverse and prevent Zone's future. And Aki wouldn't have come with him because we see her in the flashforward. Yusei is still giving her strength though. And I like to think that maybe a much older Yusei was able to help a much younger Aki control her powers and not enter a cult in the new timeline. And if my headcanon isn't true, then GET MARRIED AND HAVE BABIES GUYS. <3

~

On the one hand, I love Kotori x Yuma. They’re so adorable! Not only is Kotori surprisingly self-aware of her crush (usually the YGO girls love to deny it) but Yuma clearly treats her differently from the rest of his friends, even though he doesn’t know why (yet). Kotori’s confession at the end of the show is SO CUTE AND ADORABLE and Yuma accepts and I love it!

But… I can’t love it as much as I WANT to love it. Kotori’s character, especially in Zexal II is kind of boring. I liked her a lot in Zexal I actually. I thought it was fine to have a character not duel as long as she was doing something else. In season 1 she occasionally gets shit done. Or she’s there for comic relief like when she’s riding the duel coaster. Or arguing with Orbital 7. It wasn’t much, but it was something. In season 2, she’s a total non-entity. I thought the duel where she gets possessed was very funny, but I almost wish that her getting possessed by a Barian was played for drama rather than laughs.

I think what could have been cool is either a) after she can hear Astral, her and Astral team up for a duel or b) when watching Yuma she started to memorize his strategies. Or both. Or neither, just get this girl something to do BESIDES watch Yuma! In the end, my love for how adorable these two are is always somewhat soured by Kotori’s squandered potential. <3

~

Speaking of squandered potential, Yuzu and Yuya are next on the list. I love these two A TON! I’ll be perfectly honest and admit my biases here, I am NOT the biggest fan of Arc-V. The show had a lot of problems, and I’m harsher on it than most.

But one thing I really did like about the beginning of the show was Yuzu! She was independent, driven and her dueling was getting better as the show progressed. Just like Kotori, she became a non-entity in the latter seasons. However, I ship Yuya x Yuzu more than I ship Yuma x Kotori because Yuya was always keeping Yuzu in mind during the latter seasons. So it still felt like the ship was in focus, whereas with Kotori x Yuma, the ship kind of disappeared since more important things were going on. For Yuya, nothing was more important than getting Yuzu back, so really I had no choice BUT to ship it. How could I not? It was so sweet! She was his whole world! I wish we got more scenes with the two of them together though. Them never tag dueling is a crime against humanity. Also its total BS that only Yuya and Yuzu got to come back, but whatever, I guess. I was happy that the two of them reunited and even HAPPIER that the show was finally over. <3

~

Last and basically least, Yusaku x Aoi. Or Playmaker x Blue Maiden. I’ll be honest, I don’t ship this at all. The show doesn’t go through any effort to get us invested in their so-called “relationship” and if I had watched this show on its own, unaware of the series’ tropes, I wouldn’t have assumed they were a “ship” at all. With Judai x Asuka, I actually liked the fake out (at least until S4 when I wondered whether or not the fake out was actually on purpose or if the writers are just morons) but with Yusaku x Aoi I get frustrated because it wouldn’t have been that hard to GIVE them some chemistry. They’re both interesting characters, and I think Aoi and Yusaku could have had an interesting dynamic if Aoi had learned Playmaker’s identity a lot sooner.

What I think the show should have done was have Aoi discover Playmaker and Soulburner’s identity at the same time they discovered each other. Then have Aqua come into the fold a lot earlier. Trios are popular in fiction for a reason, and I think Yusaku, Takeru and Aoi would have been an excellent trio. Specifically, with both Yusaku and Aoi being so reserved, their relationship would be very understated. But that’s not a bad thing. It just means that the writers would have to put more focus on the little things. Like, maybe after a while of being friends, Yusaku sits next to her in class. That would be a small thing for other people, but for those two, that’s huge! I could also see there being a fun episode where Ai tries to trick them into going on a date but fails spectacularly. The two of them end up spending time together to foil the plan. That could be really cute! LITERALLY ANYTHING is better than NOTHING.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I don’t ship this because the writers thought they could get me to ship it just by having boy meets girl and then having them shake hands over a hundred episodes later. And no. I refuse. I need a LITTLE more than that, please and thank you. </3

~

That was a very long post! All in all, 4/6 ain’t bad at all! Or maybe it’s more like a 3.5 since I only gave Kotori and Yuma a small heart? It doesn’t really matter, I’m a multishipper. At my heart and soul, I’ll ship anything. Like I said I don’t ship Judai and Asuka, but I totally have shippy fanart of them on my phone, lol. It’s more like… which of these ships would I defend in court and which ships do I only like because I’m trash that’ll ship anything?

Oh, I guess I did title this as a ranking... Well, I'm sure you can figure out my most and least favourites by how much I used caps lock, so it should be fine.

Give me ANY Yu-Gi-Oh ship (straight, gay or in between) and I’ll dissect it like I did these six.

[straybreeze]

Gx Month - Day 15: "Ayers Rock Sunrise"

@gxmonth

The card designed by Hayato Maeda/Chumley Huffington himself. Show us your custom designs today, be it OCs, outfit redesigns, or custom cards!

I know I'm a day late, but let me officially introduce my OC, Aurora Dawn!

Word count: 1105

CW: smoking

(There is also a moodboard under the fic.)

Aurora looked around nervously in the crowd as she followed Edo into the luxurious, kind of old-fashioned hall. Okay, the place wasn’t that crowded, 50-60 people lingered there at maximum, but for her, this headcount was still more than enough.

“Relax, girl,” Edo muttered as he also looked around, searching for any acquaintances. He already spotted their host, Manjoume Jun himself. His family threw this party in honor of the upcoming season of the Pro League Championship, so he invited most of his friends to his suburban mansion. “I know you don’t like parties, but hey, Judai and the others were invited too. Even Ryo is here,” Edo added and briefly waved to the other Marufuji. “Just stay close to me if you feel uncomfortable, and everything’s gonna be fine.”

“Yeah, that’s the point,” she sighed as she gripped the camera around her neck. “If I stay close to you, everyone would think that I’m your partner.”

“Aaaand you are definitely didn’t come here as my partner, did you?”

Aurora rolled her eyes.

“Edo, this isn’t the best moment to discuss that again. You know very well my point of view on this whole thing.”

The silver haired pro suddenly stopped and turned to Aurora, but before he could retort, a familiar voice came from the distance.

“Edo! Rory! You’re here!”

That was Judai. As far as Aurora knew, he came as Sho’s companion, because he wasn’t in the Pro Leagues either. When the boy halted in front of them, Edo made a half-definite gesture for Aurora. She knew it was meant that they will continue this topic later, but for now, let’s just enjoy the feast.

She didn’t hesitate much afterwards. When Judai greeted her too and started a small conversation with Edo, Aurora decided to grab something to drink and look up those few other people whom she knew here.

When a waiter handed her some kind of sweet, expensive champagne, Manjoume suddenly stepped beside her and grabbed another glass.

“Hey! I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”

“Me neither to be honest. But hello, Thunder, glad to see you! Your house is just... wow.”

“Right? This is the biggest estate in my family’s possession in Domino City. Of course, it had to be mine.”

Of course, the Manjoume family had more than one residence even in Domino City, and of course, Manjoume had to brag about it. Aurora couldn’t help but smile.

“Well, this is the best place to home a party like this for sure.”

Manjoume nodded a bit awkwardly as if he tried to say something but couldn’t find the right words. Aurora couldn’t blame him after all. They weren’t really friends, and she couldn’t say that they were close to the other in any way. Not like with the Marufuji brothers and far from the way she was with Judai. For Manjoume, she probably was just Edo’s roommate.

“Pardon me, but I still have to greet the newcomers. See you later, Aurora!” Manjoume put his glass down on the platter of a passing waiter.

Aurora did the same.

“Oh, yes, of course! Have fun tonight!”

“I will.”

Truth to tell, she was just Edo’s roommate, Aurora thought as she had been left alone in the middle of the crowd. That was the only reason why she was here. The camera she carried was just a cover, but occasionally she took one or two photos, just to have something to look back later. Still, she wouldn’t have known anyone here if it wasn’t for Edo.

She stood motionless for a moment as she searched for Edo. Judai was still next to him and Sho had joined too – along with some other guys whom she only knew from the duelist magazines and reports and from Edo himself. Deciding not to bother them and their in-depth conversation about the upcoming championship, she was about to find someone else to chat with. As neither Johan nor Rei had arrived yet, she looked after the other person she could have some chat with.

Finally, she spotted him on the other side of the hall, surrounded by at least three fangirls, much for his annoyance.

“Excuse me, girls, but can I steal Hell Kaiser from you for a short moment? I have to take some pictures for the Daily Duelist magazine,” Aurora stepped behind them and nodded towards the terrace. The girls grimaced at her, but when they saw her camera, they reluctantly nodded and stepped back.

Ryo still looked confused for a long moment, but when they got out from the crowded hall, he noted:

“I assume you didn’t intend to take any pictures.”

“’Course not! I see your face more than enough,” Aurora laughed.

“Tell me, do you know someone called Edo Phoenix? Because this exactly sounded like something he would say.”

That was how their usual interaction looked like. Lowkey mocking the other, but they were completely okay with it. One could say they had a weird friendship, yet it still worked somehow.

“Hey, if we are already outside, wanna smoke?”

“Yeah, why not.”

For some long, silent minutes, they just stood there, leaning against the railing and listening to the joyful chatters from the inside.

“It’s a rare occasion that you are going out,” Ryo told her quietly.

“I guess I could say the same for you too. But there’s nothing special about it. Edo asked me out, and Judai and Sho convinced me to say yes.”

“Oh, I should have known that my little brother’s hands were in it too.”

“You know how he is. But how ‘bout you? Doing fine?”

“Yeah, let’s say. That friend of yours, Doctor Nova... She’s pretty annoying when I say no to her.”

“Yep, that’s her speciality.”

Another silent moment had passed, only the smoke of their cigarettes lingered in the air between them.

“And what about you and Edo? If you two are on a date, shouldn’t have to be together?”

“No, Ryo, I don’t think any of us took it as a date. I just came out with him, because I wanted to please him once in a lifetime.”

“For real, you’re not going easy on that guy.”

“Neither he does on me. I’m still not sure if it would do any good to his or my career if some rumours would spread about us,” Aurora shrugged and put out her cigarette.

“Come on, you are an artist, not a duelist. Why on the Earth would you care about what some shitty tabloid say about you? You’re living with him anyway, I’m pretty amazed that you can still keep it in secret.”

“And what should I do? Just go to him and pretend that I belong... here?”

“Yeah, that’s why you are here after all if I’m not wrong.”

“You make it sound so easy,” Aurora sighed and waited until Ryo stubbed his cigarette out as well. “But maybe you’re right. Come on then, let’s check what are they doing now. Your brother must be missing you terribly.”

“Heh, you can bet it.”

[hamilton44jpg]

I am so glad that Joel is no longer in the band because the fact that he has been so anti-Chris this whole entire time is insane like a lot of it stems from the fact that he’s friends with Johann from more reference on him if you don’t know he was also in the competition show and he’s Ecuadorian so of course they couldn’t have two of the same in the band or they didn’t want that so when he got eliminated he was talking shit being like oh Chris only one because he had a better sob story like I’m clearly more talented but they saw his sob story which I don’t think it’s a sob story but he’s referring to the fact that Chris came back to the states when he was 18 years old all alone to make money for his family but back to the point is like he kept on talking shit about Chris and then A little bit later he was like I’m so glad I’m not in the band it’s too controlling like you don’t have freedom like first of all your point of saying oh he’s only in here because of his sob story he’s not talented if it was about talent you would be famous as a solo artist but nobody knows who you are and then how are you gonna talk shit saying it should’ve been you but then say that you’re glad it wasn’t and then later on I don’t fully know of this situation but apparently in the second album or something like that Joel wasn’t getting some lyrics for some reason and then Johan was defending him and he was like yeah you’re better than them like management just can’t see that like your time is going to come like just being really rude and then there was another thing last year at the beginning of the pandemic he put together this video thing with all these Ecuadorian singers it was like some Ecuadorian stomping and he didn’t include Chris which of course everybody was like what’s up with that because like he knows who Chris is he could contact Chris Chris is an Ecuadorian with the platform so people were like OK that’s weird but then when the beso music video came out he posted some thing I think about him laughing about Christina and Joel would still remain friends with this person who was straight up against one of his bandmembers and I don’t care what anybody says but the fact that he will go around defending his friends that just want to use him versus his band member well former at this point but the person who he is sharing fame with doesn’t make any sense to me

yeah i know about j*hann and he's so stupid for saying that because literally who knows him?💀💀 and look at chris - talented, amazing person, so damn hot. but yeah i think his "friends" had some influence on his relationship with the boys and it's actually sad. joel is anti-cnco let's be real here djshfk