#he’s been practicing music in the other room while I’m chillin in the kitchen

[thesixthstar]

Fellas is it weird to tell yr housemate he has the voice of a goddamned angel?

[garbagevanfleet]

Brightest Blue (series)

PART FOURTEEN

Pairing: Josh x reader Warnings: mentions of sexual content, feelings, cigarettes Summary:  Things are changing. New state. New school. New roommate. You just pray things are going to click into place.

Notes: HI EVERYONE! I’m sorry I’m so inconsistent lately. I promise that the next chaptered fic I write, I’ll only start posting it when I’m done writing it. I hope you like this chapter - its incredibly sappy because I’m on my period lol

As always, big thanks to my beta, @lantern-inthenight​ <3

taglist: @valleyd0ll @satingrass-maidensfair @guitarfingers @thebohemianpenguin @peaceisouranthem @oblvions @hansonobsessed @myownparadise96 @anditsmywholeheart @kill-fear-the-power-of-lies @bigblack-catattack​  @dharma-divine​

MASTERPOST

“Remind me again why you want to ride separately from your brother?” You looked pointedly over at Josh, who was smiling as he ran a soapy rag over the plate you’d just finished eating off of. 

“I already have to spend my whole winter break with my family, no need to rob myself of alone time with you,” he explained like it was obvious. 

A huff escaped your lips. You pushed away from where you had been leaning against the counter and wrapped your arms around his neck from behind. You laid your head in between his shoulder blades, feeling him turn to nuzzle his nose against your arm as it laid on his shoulder.  

“We spend so much time together - like every day - which I’m obviously grateful for,” you said, half-muffled by the material of his sweater. “But don’t you think it just makes more sense to carpool?” 

You couldn’t see his hands, but the movements you could feel told you he was wiping the extra water off of them before turning around and pressing your chests together. His lips lightly brushed your temple as he spoke. 

“You’re right,” he agreed, though you knew him well enough to know he wasn’t about to just relent. “It does make more sense - I just don’t want to.”

You let out a breath, frowning as you tried to figure out if you should say what you were thinking. After a moment of working up the courage, you cupped his jaw with your right hand, knowing full well that the sweet gesture would help him swallow the discomfort your words would cause. 

“Josh,” Your voice was low and quiet, but as you met his eyes, you chickened out. They were so honest, looking at you like your presence was the only thing keeping him grounded - like if you left, he’d just cease to exist. You made a mental note to have a talk with him about that at some point, but you decided it would have to be after you’d returned from Christmas break. 

“Hm?” You must have been contemplating too long, prompting his features into a look of concern. You couldn’t bear it. 

“Jake is going to ride with us,” you said decidedly. “I already told him he could.”

That was a bit of a lie - he had mentioned it a few days ago and you had said you’d run it by Josh, but you had just made up his mind for him.

He huffed a laugh as he rolled his eyes playfully at you. “Sounds like you’re already communicating better with my family than I have in months.”

“Well,” you started, giving him a pointed look - the kind you only give when you feel confident that you’re right. “I think that would mean communicating with them at all. Honestly, Josh, I know you-”

You were abruptly silenced as he placed his forefinger across your open lips, a half-smirk on his face. 

“It’s okay,” he assured simply. “He can ride with us.”

A smile spread across your face underneath his finger. “Good. Have you started packing?” Your words were muffled under his touch.

“Eh,” he replied with a noncommittal shrug, lowering his hand to brush his thumb across your chin. 

“Do you want help with that?” you inquired cheekily. “Because, you know, we leave in two days.” 

He appeared to consider it for a moment before nodding. “Actually, yeah, that sounds nice. You can sit on my bed and watch while I pack really inappropriate clothes for the occasion.”

You half-snorted out a laugh, rolling your eyes because you knew that’s the reaction he was aiming for. “How about I just pack for you?”

+++

For the first time since knowing him, you saw Jake Kiszka wearing a jacket. It was long and dramatic and nearly brushed the top of the snow as he made his way out to your car with a leather duffle bag in his left hand.

He opened the rear, passenger-side door and tossed his bag in next to yours and Josh’s before sliding in next to it. 

You greeted him cheerily, to which he shot you back a smile as a reply.

“You’re actually wearing a coat,” you noted as he pulled the seatbelt over his form and buckled in.

He hummed amusedly, reaching into his pocket and popping a stick of gum in his mouth. 

“I’ve found that he doesn’t usually dress like a slut to go home,” Josh replied instead as he turned a lighter around in his palm, absent of the task. 

“And if I didn’t wear a coat home, I’d never hear the end of it.” 

Josh nodded in agreement, and then you watched a shit-eating grin spread across his lips. “I’m kinda surprised Kate isn’t coming with us today, to be honest. Are you waiting until Easter just to make sure?”

You were busy pulling out onto the road, so you didn’t see it, but you could imagine Jake deeply rolling his eyes at the question. 

“I would bring Kate home - it would make me truly happy to physically see Mom die a little inside when she starts trying to talk about amphibious breeding cycles at length during dinner,” he mused, voice clear of any kind of sorrow. He finished simply and with a smile, “But she isn’t my girlfriend.”

“I don’t know, it seemed a little sus when I showed up at her house in the morning and you were already there, chillin’ with her dog,” you replied in a sing-song voice. 

“I wasn’t already there, I was still there.” You felt him place a hand on your shoulder, and slap his other one against Josh’s. “Not all of us have the luxury of just being able to pop down the hall.”

“Fair enough,” you relented, feeling your face flush warm. 

“Or the shower. Or the kitchen that one time,” Josh added unhelpfully, making your eyes immediately pop open. 

“Josh,” you scolded and quickly considered reaching over and slapping him, but decided it was unsafe to drive and strike a passenger at the same time. 

“No, this is good,” Jake assured through a smirk you could hear. “Let him get it all out before we get there.”

Josh snickered back, “You’re such a prick.”

+++

The Kiszka homestead was almost impossibly cozy. There was a basket of blankets by the big sofa (much nicer and fluffier than the blankets at your apartment, which had been flattened and matted to the point of complete defeat) and the furniture was centered around a glowing, stone fireplace. Josh’s mom had hugged him for a long moment upon your arrival - a gesture that made your throat feel tight as you watched her fingers flex in the material at the back of his shirt. 

She was sunny and kind to the point that you could clearly see Josh’s mannerisms reflected in hers, and the dinner she laid out on the dining room table seemed impossibly large to you, having come from a home with just three people in it. 

When she asked you how you liked Midwestern cooking, you gushed about it for - what was undeniably - too long. You’d never say, but you weren’t positive that part of it wasn’t just not having had a real home-cooked meal in months. 

You had come to decipher that Josh had told his family that you were just a roommate that didn’t have a place to go for winter break, but you were pretty sure you’d be able to tell the nature of your relationship if you were on the outside looking in - you seemed to be magnetically drawn to wherever Josh was these days. 

Everyone cleared out of the living room pretty quickly after dinner and conversation, and you finally got the chance to ask the question that had been on your mind all day. 

“Do I sleep out here?” 

You were posted up on the couch, your legs crossed one over the other with Josh staying a few inches farther away from you than you were used to.

“No,” he replied. “You can take my room and I’ll sleep out here.”

You had asked mostly as a formality - you hadn’t figured that you’d actually have to sleep separately. Through a slight frown, you said, “Oh, man. It’s been a while since I’ve had to sleep alone. What if I freeze to death?” 

He flashed you a smile. “I thought ahead and laid a heated blanket out on the bed for you.”

“Heated blanket? This whole time heated blankets were an option?” you whispered harshly.

“Okay, in my defense, by the time I remembered that they existed, we were already sleeping in the same bed every night.”

The suspicious way you stared at him for a few moments had him biting back a laugh - one of those unguarded ones that seemed to be reserved for people he was really comfortable around. Which seemed to just be you most of the time. 

“Will you at least come get ready for bed with me?” you asked, subtly looking up at him through your lashes. 

“Of course - no puppy eyes necessary,” he assured with a snicker.

This room was decidedly different than the one back in Ann Arbor. Josh’s space back in the apartment was mostly made up of Earth tones - either picked by choice or having just dulled over time. There were little pops of color scattered around the room, like the golden yellow rug that spread across almost all of the wooden floor, or the string of flags that spanned the entire wall above his bed. 

This room was different. You could tell that his parents had tried to clean it up since Josh had moved out, but there was still evidence of spots where posters were hung on the maroon red walls. A stack of comics laid on the dresser - the surface of which was covered in residue and paper where he had placed stickers and then tried to peel them off. 

You eyed a well-used keyboard placed along the far wall, and what appeared to be milk crates full of sheet music and the idea of him sitting in front of it and practicing for hours brought a smile to your lips. 

He hauled both of your bags up onto the bed and you both picked through them for the sleep apparel you’d packed. You watched him change into a short-sleeved tee and a pair of loose flannel pants through the bathroom mirror as you brushed your teeth across the hall, and when he caught your eyes, he gave you a smirk. 

You’d been half expecting him to change his mind and just crawl into bed with you, but instead, he helped you clamber under the covers and pulled the comforter up to your chest. 

“Wow, full service tuck-in and everything,” you teased, but quickly shut up when his thumb brushed over your lips. 

“Well,” he mused, voice low. “Not the full service.”

You gave him a sour grin as he backed up to the door and flicked the light off. 

“Good night, Joshua.”

+++

The next couple of days came and went easily. You were starting to get actually acquainted with his family - chatting with his mother and sister over morning coffee, and getting pinned between his brothers on the sofa while Christmas movies played in the background.

You really hadn’t realized how much you missed being around family until it hit you at dinner one night. You watched out of the corner of your eye as Josh unscrewed the lid on the salt under the lip of the table and then asked Sam if he wanted any. 

Josh was just about to slide it across the beat-up wooden surface when you snatched it out of his hand, pointedly tightened the lid, and then slid it over. 

When you peeked over at him, Josh was glaring at you, but he wasn’t able to stop the mischievous smirk that his mouth took the shape of. 

Sam huffed a laugh that sounded more like a scoff, having figured out the plot quickly after seeing the look on Josh’s face.  

“Samuel, do me a favor and dump the whole shaker of salt on your potatoes,” Josh requested in a faux-sweet voice. “Please and thank you.” 

“Piss off.” Sam’s reply came through a mouth-full of food, but somehow, he still managed to look lovely while saying it. However, that didn’t save him from his mom’s scolding look - though whether that was in response to the harsh language or speaking with a full mouth was anyone’s guess. You guessed that a person never got to grow out of being “the baby”. 

It was then - that simple moment - that you realized how oddly welcomed you felt in this setting. It hadn’t been awkward or uncomfortable even once. You’d never felt out of place despite how different it was from your own home experience. 

After you were settled into bed that night, you laid awake thinking about nothing and everything. You didn’t feel particularly tired, but you had decided to turn in when Josh started dozing off on the couch while you were watching the tv on low volume. 

You had no clue what time it was, as your phone was charging across the room, but at some point you heard the distinct sound of a door creaking open. It was just down the hall - that you could distinguish -  but you weren’t positive which room specifically. The person made their way down the hall, and then up a creaky set of steps, though you could tell that they were trying to move quietly when they got to the next floor and the cadence of their steps changed to something lighter. 

You thought about it for a moment before pushing the covers off of you, crawling out of the warmth of the nest you’d made, and slipping your feet into a pair of Josh’s fuzzy slippers that were just barely peeking out under the bed frame. Trying to be as quiet as the last person had been, you crept up the stairs in the low light, having to strain to see the steps in the unfamiliar space, lest you lose your footing. 

The room at the top of the steps was a study, and on the other side of it was a large, sliding glass door. And on the other side of that, was Jake, sat out on a covered patio with a cigarette in his hand. 

You crossed the room, grabbing a blanket off of the worn leather sofa and wrapping it around yourself as you moved. 

He barely turned his head to look at you as you slid the glass open and stepped out onto the porch. The brisk air hit you hard enough to nearly knock the breath from your lungs, so you pulled the blanket up your body until only your head was showing. 

“Sorry if I scared you.” The volume of your words were just above a whisper as you bent to sit next to him on the cold wood. “Or if I’m intruding.”

He hummed around his cigarette before ashing it into a Coke can. “You didn’t, and you aren’t.” He looked you over for the first time then and frowned deeply at you. “You are going to freeze to death though. Where the hell is your coat?”

“I’m fine, I’ve got the blanket, see?” you assured, though you had to admit that the cold cut right through the thick material. 

He ran his eyes up and down it, rolling them affectionately at you. “Okay,” he replied, though it sounded nothing like he believed you. After a few silent moments, he spoke again. 

“How are you liking it here?”

A genuine smile spread out over your lips. “Michigan is lovely, if that’s what you mean. Cold to the point where I’m not sure why anyone would want to live here, but. Lovely, all the same.” 

He smiled back at you, oddly warm in nature for him. “And what about the family? Do you find all of us lovely too?” 

“Absolutely,” you agreed, pulling your knees up to your chest like you were in a cocoon. Another few long moments ticked by as you watched the snow fall. The night was so still that you swore you could hear the flakes as they settled on whatever surface they happened to land on. 

“Can I ask you something?” You flicked your eyes over at him to assess his expression. You knew your brows were threaded close together in worry, which he seemed to take into account before he answered.

He nodded as he took another drag. “Sure,” he replied, smoke and steam glowing with the light of the cherry on the end of his cigarette as he exhaled. 

You were silently trying to figure out how to word it for long enough that he looked over at you expectantly. 

“Do you think Josh would have come home for Christmas if I...weren’t around?” 

He met your eyes and huffed a humorless laugh. “I think that he would have spent a week or two anxiously deciding whether he could handle it and then, ultimately, he would feel too guilty to say no. And from there, I think it would have been a repeat of last year - he would have come home here, found it exhausting, and then screened everyone's’ calls for a couple of months again.”

You weren’t sure what to say, so you just stared at his face, your teeth pressed into your bottom lip until you could feel they’d left an indent as you ran your tongue over it. 

“But it’s weird, right?” he continued, biting back a smirk that made you a little uneasy about what he was going to say next. “He seems to be almost blissfully happy this year.”

You held your breath for a moment as you tried to organize your emotions, and then exhaled in a rush once it became uncomfortable. “Look, I. He’s obviously a lot of things to me. A best friend, a room mate, a...romantic partner?”

Jake shot you a disbelieving but highly amused look at your wording.

“But I’m worried that he’s tying himself to me too tightly.” With your eyes, you tried to portray the emotions that that thought evoked in you - how compressed it made you feel. 

He seemed to chew it over as he stubbed out his cigarette on the damp wood and then - near instantly - materialized another from behind his ear like a magic trick.  

“I love seeing him happy, but I’m scared that I’m the only thing making him happy,” you finished, voice admittedly a little shaky. You didn’t ask first - though you should have - but you slid closer to him until your shoulders were touching, and despite not knowing him all that well yet, it still managed to make you feel more grounded. “It’s not that I expect this to end - whatever we have - but what if it does?”

Jake’s eyes flitted around your features like he was trying to map your face as you anxiously waited for him to tell you everything would be alright. 

“You know,” he started, voice low. “When we moved away for school, he was the one that decided we wouldn’t room together. I mean, I didn’t blame him or anything, but I always just assumed we would. He used to be so outgoing. I mean, he never missed a party. People would trip over themselves to be next to him. He used to take his ex out any time he could - it didn’t really matter where, because he’s always had a way of making even the most monotonous task seem fun.”

You didn’t try to suppress a smile as it found your lips. 

“So, his ex broke it off with him. I don’t know what happened really - only what I’ve been able to pry out of him - but it fucked him up pretty good. And then as he was just starting to get over it, his roommate had some kind of mental break and just moved out one weekend while Josh was gone. It’s not like they were best friends or anything, but they got along.”

“Fuck,” you whispered, resting your head on Jake’s shoulder and not caring whether or not it was polite to do so anymore. 

“Yeah,” he agreed, simply. The tone of his voice was something very somber - the kind you’d use if you were giving a eulogy. “I tried to help. I offered to move in with him. I showed up at his apartment all the time, but he got pretty effective at dodging me. Not just me, actually, but everyone. Worried the fuck out of our mom.” 

“What then?” You were not-so-secretly hoping that Jake was going to find a way to make you feel better, and the pitch of your voice reflected it. The core of your body felt like it was stuffed full of stones, weighted and heavy. “What happened?”

Jake hummed. “Well, he started to level out a bit. After a good couple months he started at least answering the door when I came to see him. Sometimes he’d text me back after a day or two. That went on like that for a while.”

He titled his head to look over at you then for the first time in a while. You felt oddly vulnerable after hearing all of that, but you tried not to duck away from his eyes. 

“But then, suddenly, you were there. He didn’t tell me a thing about you, or even that he was getting a new roommate until well after you were already moved in.”

You huffed a laugh. “If it makes you feel better, he didn’t tell me anything about you either really. Imagine my surprise when I open the door and you were a twin. Uncanny valley territory.” 

“I think he learned how to compartmentalize the people in his life. Seems like it’s easier to manage relationships that way when you’re an extremely guarded person like he had suddenly become.”

He took a pause to take a long drag, simultaneously running a hand through his silky hair. 

“But to answer your question - I don’t think you’re the only thing making him happy,” he continued, meeting your eyes with an intensity that you understood to your core. “I think you’re just reminding him that there are things to be happy about.” 

You weren’t sure what you were expecting him to say, but you were suddenly choking back tears and a tight, hot feeling in your throat.  

“You’ve just got to give him time to remember what it’s like.”

When you opened your mouth to reply, you realized you’d been holding your breath for a moment too long, causing you to suck in a shaky breath. “I intend to give him all the time he needs,” you promised. 

Jake offered you back a smile as he moved to stand, stretching out his muscles and then extending a hand for you to take. He helped you clamber up off the floor before tucking his lighter back into the pocket of his fleece sleep-pants. 

“Good to hear.” 

[weirdo-with-a-nametag]

Brain is tv static with random frames interspersed

Think I'm like. Really stressed and jumping between topics to try and find something that helps / feels good

Topics:

Anyone know a good health tracking app for adhd people? I want one that like pops up when you open your phone, maybe? But is unobtrusive. Like maybe you just rate your mood or whatever when you open your phone, and it closes, and you go about your business. I just hate every app and paper method I've tried but really want to track some stuff

Pigeon. ? Pigeon as pet?

Service animals re: cats, pigeons, my cat specifically, and then also ESAs and also what to use as treats while training my cat (he's pretty happy to learn behaviors with praise and pets as reinforcement, but treats would make everything move much faster, but I haven't found something I want to give him so we've just been y'know. Chillin)

Service animals re: what tasks can my pet potentially do that would help me? I don't really know a lot about service animals and there is a Huge range. If anyone has suggestions, or places to read about it, I'd appreciate it! Mostly thinking they may help with anxiety, sensory, and mobility/fatigue related stuff. Not much of a need for medical alerts.

Bioactive enclosures for my snakes, need to research their biomes and make progress on designs and equipment specifications

Also. Hit a seriously hard patch and haven't been handling them much at all this month so that's not great

Casting stuff. Saw jewelry today made of metal casts of claws, skulls, etc, and they were really well done and made me want to do that

Some taxidermy / vulture culture stuff I won't get into right now

Puzzles????

How to organize my room

Need a shower

Need to organize bathroom

So Much Schoolwork

Uhhhhh trying, but not making much headway, to figure out how I want to do my music collection. Also really need to clean my records..

Make?

Food??? Ew.

Dental hygiene ://

Plampts. So many. Houseplants need maintenance, many need repotting. Keep taking in people's problem plants and like, they're doing better, largely, after being trimmed and watered and whatnot, but need repotting. Also need to trim some aquarium plants.

Also need to put water in tanks. And spray nepenthes.

Laundry.

Gotta pick up trash in my room. There's so much. Everywhere. Why.

Schoolwork. I'm so behind. So, so stuck. Kind of feel like I'm dying.

Going on a picnic tomorrow. Have to figure out what still needs doing for that, probably need to go to the store.

Leo needs water. I'm so....ugh, I'm trying so hard, but it feels impossible. I do my best to take good care of my pets, and I think they live pretty good lives most of the time, but sometimes I get like This and completely drop off the face of the earth and then like, wake up or whatever and two weeks have passed by and I have not cleaned a water bowl! That's a serious problem!!!! I do not know how to combat that, really, besides more reminders. Having someone around who is willing to like, help, when things are especially hard, would be great, but I don't live with my partner right now and do not feel like I can ask anyone here for that. But I can't put my animals at risk. I check on them every day, and if their bowls are dirty I do take them out and clean them, but sometimes (like now) i cannot get myself to do it without a pressure like a dirty bowl, or a feeding day. And like, it's really important that they have clean water. I'm talking to myself here but like, if anyone has advice. Please. With the tank redesigns and upgrades, the bowls will be more accessible, which will help because one of them is very heavy at the angle I have to pick it up, and another requires moving a lot of branches and is best to take out while the snake is out (this is Leo) which is fine because I love my boy, but adds time to the process, and makes it harder to start, you know? Maybe if I just got more bowls - I could take the bowl out and immediately replace it, fill the new one, and replace the decor and snake, and then clean the bowl as a separate task? That would be easier for my brain. Currently I have a Specific bowl I prefer to use for each tank, and then everything else is Just In Case, but I mean. Acquiring extras is something I want to do anyway, and it may help with several problems, so. Yeah. I'll try that. But also, any other ideas, guys?

Anxiety: can't stop picking at my face, skin, nails, cuticles, scalp, pretty much everywhere with callouses, also scratched a mole off my face, which is something I've been trying Not to do for a while, so that's...not great. Can't find my earmuffs, and also all of my headphones are painful? Ears are really sensitive lately.

Been playing a lot of Moth Game (flutter: starlight if you wanna be friends say hey I don't know how to do it but would enjoy talking about moths if nothing else. The game is just like, an idle ish collecting game with cutesy versions of different species, and very little actual information, but it's still fun, and if anyone else is on there and also Into Moths like I am, hiiiii) and like it's fun and cute but also greatly impacting my productivity, and raises my stress levels during events, which is most days, so the game has. Not been helping. But I can't stop because then I'll miss Exclusive Moths.

Anyway. Had baklava and two mugs of Thai tea today and the sugar has made me nauseous.

Trying to journal. Hurts to write. Also takes too long. Also my handwriting is very bad. But typing is..not as good

Want to draw. Thinking about drawing cats

Plants again! Want to make seed bombs, have seeds, have most of the other ingredients, just need to put em together, basically.

Really sad :(

Or am I?

Weird noise coming from dining room?

Birds. Spent half an hour at least on the deck tonight listening to a hundred different bird calls (literally) to identify one I was hearing, it was a pine siskin, which I checked early on but the recording was bad and I didn't realize which call was identified. Anyway, cool to put a name to a face, so to speak.

Need to practice for ASL

So much.....to do...

Only had like >3 hours of work this week which was not great because money, but also like I'm really feeling those 3 hours....

My cat is basically refusing to come into my room? Which is very strange and I'm worried something is Off but cannot figure out what. Also means less cuddles which means I'm sad.

It feels strange whenever people follow me, the attention is nice but I have no idea what content y'all are here for. So to everyone: hi, enjoy, hope my random personal posts aren't a surprise to anyone who followed for like. News reblogs and informational stuff.

Do I even have it in me to..be successful in school? Should I drop out of college? I'm struggling really hard and do not feel like I'm building on the skills I need to continue, so like. Uh.

My dad is being. Abrasive.

Mom and grandma are very angry lately

Housemate is also angry, about things i thought we were on good terms about, so I am stressed because like,, are we okay?

Can't find my eye mask :(

Yoga? Like...restorative yoga? Need to track down my PT stuff. And. Do it.

Need to put the stickers on my license plates....oops...

Still haven't found my antidepressants! Yay!

Do I want to store my stuff in open bins, or with lids? Which stuff needs spill protection and stacking capability and which stuff needs easy access?

How to earn money without..chaos

Gotta go to the pet store tomorrow. Have to compile my list of pet store items i need. Uhhhhhhhhhh

Also I have an essay due tomorrow that I've barely started. So. Wooooooo

Kt tape for supporting arches / inner ankles? I keep messing up my ankles, and part of it is walking wrong because I don't have the energy to engage the muscles in my feet/legs right to like, avoid injury, and part of it is I just need new shoes inserts. But i wear slippers a lot and they do not have arch support and it hurts. PT to help with this also but Where Is It

Family can't seem to get dish soap I can use, so I've just been having to avoid washing anything by hand, or being in the general kitchen area while anyone uses the stuff, which has led to more of my dishes sitting out, and more conflict over dishes. Lovely.

How hard is it for parents to learn they have to respect boundaries? Very hard, apparently. And you're supposed to just sort of remind people, and explain, over and over and over but like at this point my self worth is actually pretty good and the lifetime of proof that they do not want to listen? That's making me want to stop trying. Like, if you're not going to respect my boundaries I'm just not going to involve you in my life. I'm not talking to my dad right now because of this. Maybe I'll decide to lay things out to him, again and again and again again, maybe not. And I'm comfortable saying that's on him.

How to drink water

Am I dehydrated or are my hands just completely callous now. My fingertips have such hard skin. Why? It's uncomfortable. This is part of why I've been biting them.

Also testosterone. Been having a lot of trouble doing my shots, because anxiety and physical freakouts, but also not feeling super urgent about it. Which I'm realizing may be a sign i need to look at the effects so far and the possible effects of continuing, and see what they make me feel. It's possible I'm where I want to be as far as T, and don't really want to stay on it. A big thing for me is a deeper voice, so it seems time to take a look at whether I like my voice where it is or want to see if it'll drop any more. Etc etc

Miss my lil sisters

Saw a lot of cool rocks today. Huge (like hand sized) ammonite for $28. May go back and buy one because. Wow.

Want to plant food plants

Also my natives. Whole garden plot standing empty with a bunch of stuff waiting in nursery pots, needing to go in the ground. Because I can't get out of bed. Love that. Stuff is dying out there, I'm dying in here, there's a poetry to it and I do not want to romanticize suffering so I will say this: I brought a Bucket full of moss home a month ago and planted it and now go outside sometimes to drench my moss and it is very rewarding because the stuff is just so green. Incredible. When the rest of my plants are finally in the ground, that feeling will only intensify. But, for now, the moss is very nice.

Made a glow in the dark bead lizard from memory during therapy yesterday, and I love him. Also, still struggling with bringing up autism and psychosis topics with my therapist. Still very worried about. Things. Would like to get a new person? But sometimes she is helpful? And we have a routine. It's very hard to break the routine. Maybe I can set some time aside during the summer, to figure out what to do there.

Term ends in a couple weeks. The task of catching up, of passing, seems impossible. I really need to pass my courses. I'm on academic warning, because my GPA is lower than it should be, and if I can pass all of my classes this term I can get off academic warning but otherwise I'm not sure what will happen to my financial aid.

My phone is playing the same 50-100 songs on shuffle and I don't even particularly like most of them and it is very strange

Got my face wipes! Hooray, i can wash my face again

Been eating too much sugar in general. It's making my joints hurt more, and the nausea

Pet a dog the other day. I miss that. It would be really nice to have a dog in the house again. The exuberance, the cuddles, the tail wagging, the walks... I'd really like that. Maybe once I'm out in my room, tanks and catio built and everyone is situated, I'll look into getting a dog instead of a cat next. Was planning on holding off in case I'm not physically able to take them out on walks and such, but I've been pretty successful at doing this job, and I think that my main hurdle for walking really is motivation. Dog walking is a strong motivator for me. Best to start by fostering, or just do Wag, for a while though. I'm feeling overwhelmed with my current responsibilities, and here I am talking about getting a dog. Good job, me

How do you get wax off of somewhat water soluble rocks? My housemate broke my lava lamp on some of my rock collection and I am not sure how to get some of them clean without damage.

I am...pretty sure there are collared doves nesting over my room but it seems they're less common around here than I thought? But they are..pretty distinctive. Like if I'm wrong, what are those birds. Some very distinctly colored feral pigeons? Who are nesting here, in a tree, without their flock, and who happen to have pretty much the exact same pattern?

Probably should go to the dollar store and get some bins for organizing

Been wanting to keep a bin by the door and stock it with stim/fidget stuff people can just .have ..like extras of some of my favorites and other things i can get ahold of, to offer to my friends who haven't really had the chance to explore the world of stim toys

Hands are really just not doing great the last several weeks. Arthritis type pain cropping up more and more in all the little joints, making it hurt more to write, type, or just use them for whatever. Coordination isn't great because of that distraction, and because my hands/arms are slow to respond and kinda weak. Most people would say I'm not using them enough but I've been doing 15ish hours of manual labor per week, so maybe it's the other direction? More water would help. If only it wasn't so heavy.

I haven't taken a single shower since I started my job. Which was March 29th. That's not great.

Practiced parallel parking today. 10/10 still very bad at it.

Having anxiety that my friends think I'm lying about things, faking, and are watching me to see if I'll slip up. So that sucks. Can either talk about that directly or indirectly, or just shut up about those things until I can get my brain under control again. I'm not sure right now if the reassurance would work as a reality check or make me believe it more, right now, so might hold off on the talking bit for a little while.

Saw, smelled, picked a couple pretty roses. Good times

At this point I'm just trying to list all my thoughts so that maybe I'll be able to sleep and not worry I'll forget

My mom has put her spider plant on the deck, and it has maybe five living leaves. I have no idea how she killed such a well established spider plant, the last time I saw it it was so happy. Did she stick it in a corner and forget to water it? Whatever happened, it is now in the Plant ER, so hopefully I'll be able to...help get it on the up and up again

Leo is such a pretty noodle. He's so pretty. He's posing. Hi, baby boy.

Oh, he saw me moving around and decided to come say hi. Sorry little man, i did not mean to disturb you. Please resume lounging. I can't bring you out right now, I'm trying to sleep.

Also, terrariums. Water features. Need to ask. Someone. The one who was making that super cool garter snake enclosure and blogging the progress? With the lazy river and pool? About maintenance on that kind of setup. My milk snake really enjoys water, and I'd love to put a water feature in his tank. But I'm unclear on how to keep it clean, or honestly where to start. Don't want any huge falls or anything, though it actually may not make the humidity too high if I did maybe a small drip wall into the pool? That seems like something he would enjoy, and a good way to support different types of plants. But like, that's the thing, it's bioactive and I haven't done that before and no amount of research is ever enough.

Oh, Shogun has a dirt hat. How cute. I love when they do that

See, this is the thing. My snakes make me so happy. All three of them are actually hanging out where I can see them from my bed right now, and it's really nice. I want their lives to be the best possible, and I think I have the resources to do that. Which is so exciting. Now if only my brain and body would cooperate. It would hurt quite a lot to have to re-home any of them, but the most important thing is their health and quality of life, you know? If I can't get my act together somewhat, it may be that one or all of them would be better off with another keeper. I don't know. It's just, i talk about all these tank ideas and all this husbandry standards stuff but how much of it actually gets applied to my own animals whose lives are in my hands? How well am I caring for them, really?

Oh!!! My red thread! I thought that was gone forever.

Anyway, please do not worry. My snakes are healthy. I pay attention, and watch for signs of illness, and they're okay. There will always be places to improve, and the water is a big one, but most of the time i change their water out frequently, I'm just worried because of bad depression and fatigue times, you know? I'm working on making the most self sustaining systems i can, in part so that I am sure they'll be okay if I mess up sometimes. Just saying this because I hope you guys don't feel like you need to worry about the welfare of my pets. They're okay, i just always want better for them, is all.

Anyway, the sun is coming up and I should probably go to sleep. So uh, thanks for reading, if you read all of this randomness, and if anyone has thoughts or advice on anything in this post, i would welcome it! Good night!

[homiesexual-or-homosexual]

Can I Borrow You For A Second?

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

Genre: smut

Warning(s): yoongi’s tongue technology, oral (f receiving), a bit of fingering, blowjob, penetration (f receiving), language

—————

Yoongi: Agust D! blond era hair with his dark, natural brown eyes. He’s been working on some songs for the future and is pretty stressed, been locked in the studio for a few days but the boys check on him and bring him what he needs

Jimin: natural brown hair with his natural, dark brown eyes, you and him are just chillin before Yoongi asked to borrow you, of course he’s been helping keeping an eye on Yoongi, and you and him are waiting for Yoongi so you guys can go out and drag Yoongi out for a little bit

Y/N: Short hair, glasses, loves the arts (specifically writing, drawing/painting), works in a library and as a freelance artist, you’re chilling with Jimin until Yoongi comes and steals you and fucks you brainless in the studio and in bed

•••••

It’d been quite awhile since you’ve visited the studio, since you’ve visited Yoongi. They’d been on tour for a couple long months and you’d miss them dearly, especially Yoongi.

You thought of visiting them and the opportunity came up when Jimin told you Yoongi hadn’t been out of his studio in a few days and it was your guys’ mission to bring him out and take him somewhere.

Now, both you and Jimin sat in the little lounge area, waiting for the blond man to appear.

Jimin thought once he sent the text saying that you were here with him he’d see Yoongi come out immediately, but that was two hours ago.

“Maybe he’s just really busy. We can totally do this another time, y’know?” You tried to reason.

“Yeah, but he’s been in there ever since we’ve come back,” Jimin sighed. “And I thought once I said you were here he’d come out almost immediately.”

You sighed in response, taking a second before looking back at your phone.

You and Jimin chilled out in their little sitting room outsider their studios. Jimin turned on the tv for background noise as you two chatted about the tour and how that was and how you’d been when they were gone. You’d missed them dearly, you mentioned that many times in your conversation.

A door creaking open and the sound of bare feet against the wood tile cut your guy’s conversation short.

You turned and saw Yoongi, four hours after Jimin had told him you were here.

The messy haired blond stood in the hallway, rubbing his eyes. He wore one of his white tank tops and some black basketball shorts.

He squinted his eyes at the bright lights, walking into the kitchen.

“Working in the dark again, hyung?” Jimin jokingly asked, but concern laced his voice.

“Yoongi,” You whined, watching as the blond raided the fridge, “I told you not to woke in the dark! It’s bad for your eyes.”

Yoongi turned at your voice, looking at your with a blank expression before nodding his head.

“Sorry, y/n,” He paused for a few moments, staring at you. “Can I borrow you for a second, y/n? I need some help with something.”

You perked up, excited to spend some time with Yoongi after a long time of not physically being in his presence.

“Sure! I’d love to help! Do you need Jimin to or–,” You were cut off by Jimin.

“Actually! Taehyung and Jungkook wanted to have a little night out with me so maybe I can help next time. I’m sure Yoongi will be fine won’t just you, right hyung?” He winked.

Yoongi’s brows furrowed and his cheeks went red, “Yes. I’ll be fine. Be safe and don’t do anything illegal.”

“Yes sir!” Jimin saluted with a laugh. “See you guys tomorrow!”

“Bye Jimin!!” You hugged him tightly.

Jimin got up and trotted out the door, locking it before the door closed.

Yoongi grabbed your hand with his free one, as he’d stuffed all drinks and snacks in his arm. He put in his code and let you in first, shutting the door behind him.

He put the snacks on the table in front of his couch and before he got comfy in his desk chair, you took a look around his studio and could tell he’d been staying in here for a couple of days.

The clothes hamper put beside his door had some clothes in it, a couple of silverware were settled onto the table where the snacks were, and a few blankets were thrown onto the arms of the couch.

You looked over at the messy haired boy to see him looking at you, headphones in his hand.

“Come sit,” He patted his lap, “but face me please.”

You nodded, settling into his lap.

It was one of his favorite positions to sit with you when he was doing something in the studio. It was an easy way to be as close to you as possible in the moment.

Yoongi handed you the headphones, you put them on and he started the music.

He watched your face through the entire song, only nodding when you said you liked something and when you critiqued something.

“Overall, I really like the beat! I can’t wait to see the end result of this,” You smiled, taking the headphones off and handing them back to Yoongi.

“I’m glad you like it. Thank you for your help, y/n,” He smiles but it quickly fell. “I’m sorry for staying in here for so long and not taking proper care of myself and taking breaks like I know you’d want me to, especially since we just got back from tour.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” You held his face. “I know that sometimes inspiration strikes and you just have to get it all out, and that’s okay. But take a break every once in awhile, okay?”

He nodded, putting his headphones on and hugging you close to him as he began to continue his work.

A couple hours had past. It was around 2am now. You’d never moved from your spot, straddling Yoongi while he worked. Your head was smooshed into the crook of his neck, your glasses set onto the desk he worked on. You’re tired now, wrapped into the warmth and smell of what was Yoongi.

You hummed, snuggling in closer.

Yoongi hummed back, rubbing your back with one hand.

You expected him to go back to work, but no. He continued to rub your back, going down and squeezing your thigh.

On the second time around, he took his headphones off and his other hand joined. Down your back and to your thighs.

Yoongi continued, ghosting over your butt.

As he went back to your thighs, his thumbs ventured between and pressed against your clit before going back up your back up your back.

Your breath caught in your throat, your hips jerking.

Yoongi grabbed your ass and pulled you forward to sit on his erection. He spanked you twice, drawing two small whines from you.

His hands travelled up your shirt and he played with the hooks on your bra.

“May I?” He asked, his voice just an octave lower than normal.

You nodded.

“Words.”

“Yes Daddy.”

“Good girl,” Yoongi praised, kissing your neck.

You helped him take off your bra and he drops it on the ground, hands instantly going back under your shirt and groping at your boobs.

You whined as he flicked his thumb over your nipples. You arched your back at the sudden feeling.

He pinched and grabbed at your nipples, pulling them out and then down. His fingers doing works on you as he circled and pressed and groped and pinched and pulled.

All of his actions drew at whimpers and whines. You rubbed against him, feeling yourself get wetter and wetter from his fingers.

He pulled your shirt up to expose those wonderful breasts that he oh so loved. He dove down to suck on your right tit.

Yoongi sucked, and licked, and bit at your nipple.

You moaned, gripping onto his t-shirt. You screwed your eyes closed and did a motion of jumping your hips up and down and attempting to rub against him.

Yoongi pressed your chest closer to his face with his hand on your back. He paused his sucking for a moment to flick his tongue over your nipple and to squeeze and tug at the other one with his hand.

You moaned and could practically feel yourself dripping.

Yoongi finally moved over to your other nipple, sucking and biting. He still pulled at your right nipple.

You moaned louder and louder as the pleasure built up.

Yoongi moved to beside your nipple and started sucking. He sucked and sucked and sucked, leaving hickeies all across your chest.

He gently pulled your shirt off and started kissing up your neck, sucking some more hickies onto either sides of your neck.

Slowly, he made his way up to your lips and kissed you. Yoongi gave you a long kiss before prompting your mouth open so he could explore after such a long time.

You tongued at each other, sucking on each other’s tongues before you kissed down to his neck, leaving your own hickies.

Yoongi groaned at each mark, moving your hips to grind against him.

“Keep going,” He ordered.

You kept moving your hips and he reached between your thighs and started rubbing you.

“So wet for me, hmm?” He growled.

“Yes sir,” you answered in a small voice.

You moaned as he rubbed against your clit, your hips stuttering.

“Up, please,” Yoongi said, pushing you off just the slightest bit.

You got up, confused.

“Take those shorts off for me.”

You complied, slowly taking them off and tossing them to the side.

Yoongi beckoned you close, grabbing your thighs as he began to kiss your stomach.

You grabbed your glasses, put them on, and watched Yoongi.

He pulled your panties down, having you step out of them so he could set them to the side. He looked up at you as he kisses down your legs and on your inner thighs.

You whined, wanting more.

“Patience.” Yoongi ordered.

You nodded, “yes sir.”

He continued his kisses to your heat, looking up at your as he licked at your clit.

You gasped, grabbing at his blond locks. You screwed your eyes shut.

Yoongi continued his licks. He spread your legs and licked all the way from your entrance to your clit, listening to your moans and whines. He kisses at your wetness, sucking at your most sensitive spots.

All the while, you gripped his hair and tried your best to keep your hips still, but the occasional squirm made its way through. Your knees were shaking, feeling like jello as you tried your best to stay still for Yoongi.

Yoongi sucked at your clit as he fingered your folds before easing a finger into your entrance.

“Fuck fuck fuck,” You moaned, not used to the feeling of his fingers.

Yoongi growled against you, sending a shiver up your spine. He slowly moved his finger into and out, speeding up bit by bit.

Under the sound of your moans, you could hear the squelching sound as Yoongi’s finger thrust in and out of you, and the occasional sound of his sucking.

Your legs became shakier as warmth grew in your body and a knot grew in your lower abdomen. The closer you got, the more vocal you became.

“I’m gonna cum. I’m gonna cum,” you repeated, growing closer.

Yoongi sucked harder, his tongue flicking against your clit and his finger pumped faster.

Zeroing in on the pleasure, you came, moaning out both his name and his favorite title. Your thighs shook and you pushed your hips against his face.

“Ah. Keep going. Keep going!” You begged, moving your hips to try and ride out your high.

Yoongi continued flicking his tongue against your clit and thrusting his finger in and out of you, going faster to help you ride out your orgasm.

You pushed him away as the sensitivity set in, your pussy throbbing.

Yoongi pulled away, leaving hickies on your thighs before sitting back on his chair.

You stood in front of him, shaky and fucked out. You sat down in front of him, laying your head on his leg.

You hadn’t had an orgasm that intense ever since Yoongi left for tour, so it was a little exhausting.

Yoongi pet your head, brushing the hair from your face. He pushed your glasses up and bit as he tilted your head to look up at him. Yoongi looked at you with the most endearing look in his eyes.

“You did such a good job for me, even after such a long time. You’re such a good girl for me,” Yoongi praised, picking your head up as he leaned down for a kiss.

He gave you a few more moments to calm down.

“Wanna have some more fun?” He asked, palming at the bulge in his shorts.

You perked up, nodding.

He chuckled before pulling his shorts and boxers down, his dick resting against his stomach.

Yoongi had the perfect dick. The perfect length and perfect girth so it sat perfectly inside of you. It’s head tinted a perfect little pink.

You sat between his legs, eagerly waiting.

“Open.”

You obliged, opening your mouth.

“Stick your tongue out.”

You did and was met with Yoongi tapping his dick against your tongue. Then he held his member against your tongue and you took it into your mouth.

You bobbed your head up and down, reaching between the two of you to play with his balls.

You sink down further and further, the tip hitting the back of your throat.

You could hear Yoongi’s breathing, and his sharp intake when you’d first taken him into your mouth.

Yoongi put his hand on your head, taking control. He thrust his hips up just a smidge, pushing your head down at the same time.

You could taste his precum on your tongue. You hummed at the taste, going just a little faster.

Yoongi groaned, throwing his head back against his chair. He gripped at your hair, thrusting into your mouth.

“mm.. wait y/n. wait,” Yoongi whined, gently pulling your hair.

You stoppped and looked up at him, confusion lacing your vision.

“Up and come sit. I wanna feel that tight little pussy of yours,” Yoongi hummed, patting his thigh.

You gasped a little at his bluntness, a blush creeping onto your cheeks.

Yoongi laughed, caressing your face.

You crawled into his lap, slowly sinking down to his length, slick with your previous salvia. You whined as he filled you up. You closed your eyes and scrunched your eyesbrows as you sunk down.

Yoongi sighed as you finally bottomed out, his hands immediately going to your hips. He moved you back and forth, getting you used to his length.

Slowly, he started moving your hips up and down, his hands on your butt.

You took a little control, helping Yoongi move your body. You put your arms on his shoulders to steady himself.

Yoongi leaned forward, kissing you. He slowly leaned back.

You followed him, tonguing at his lips.

As soon as Yoongi opened his mouth, you put your tongue in. You felt around with his, salvia coating both of your lips.

Soon enough, Yoongi quicken the pace rather quickly. He held your hips and pounded into you, groans and growls thundered in his chest.

You cried out as skin slapped against skin. You gripped onto his shirt.

“Yoon-Yoongi!!” You cried.

Yoongi brought a thumb to your clit and started to vigorously.

You cried out again, that little knot growing quickly in your stomach again.

“C’mon. Cum for me. Cum with me,” Yoongi demanded, thrusting up into your faster.

Yoongi growled, rubbing you faster.

Suddenly, the knot snapped and you came. You screamed his name, bouncing up and down faster.

Yoongi came with you, growled as you bit your neck.

As he came down from his high, you let go of your neck, kissing the spot. He rubbed your hips and whispered little praises in your ear.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed his cheek, humming as you wiggled into his warmth.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Yoongi sighed, rubbing your back.

“I missed you too, Yoongi,” You smiled, kissing his cheek again.

“Let’s take a bath when home,” Yoongi suggested.

“Sounds good with me,” You agreed.

[twilightpony4]

Ola Americano... Turtle?: 3. Packed Up

For the past hour, Leonardo had been talking with Splinter when they got back home. The family knew better to stray from their conversation, but every now and then as the two wondered about the lair, one or two would catch Leo’s haze, asking through their eyes whether or not they were allowed to go. When Splinter had not yet given an answer, his eyes would squint quickly with a scowl before presuming his attention to his father. Sure enough, one of the mutants got a quick nod instead. At the moment, the mutants began packing while Splinter continued to speak with Leonardo. Word has been spread all the way to the surface in which April and Casey had come down to see them.

Currently, April was assisting Donatello with his pack as Casey sat on his desk with arms folded and nonchalantly expecting his lab. The turtles do not amuse him much just as Vern but they were good kids and it would be polite to see them off.

“You guys head off to more trips than I’ve ever taken. I thought I was the reporter.” April realized, laughing as she folded and tucked a blanket in his bag.

“The tables have turned.” He snickered while folding some wires up and wrapping them neatly. “You know where everything’s at, right?” April stopped to count off her fingers.

“Food in the fridge, beds in the bedroom, secret soda stash, yep.” She spoke with ease while her eyes looked aimlessly to the sky as she listed everything off. Donnie shook his head smiling.

“Check the cabinets.” He dared. A devious smile from him had the girl smile as well when she left his room. In a matter of seconds (The boy’s rooms were never too far from the kitchen), she returned back with a little plastic container. There was a label covering it for the most part, but you were able to make out the many tiny, hard pieces when she gave it a shake.

“Wasabi peas!” She exclaimed with the utmost gratitude. The guys introduced it to her but mostly as a last resort snack. Once they got her hooked, they could see April devouring their entire supply in one sitting (in which Donnie did warn was bad for her). It has become so constant that Raphael began to call it “O’neil’s rabbit food”.

“Wasabi peas?” Casey echoed less enthusiastically. He put out his hand. “Let me see those.” He asked in which April complied with a twisted smile. The man read the label, which was clear as day and opened the top. One whiff and his entire face contorted of disgust from the pungent smell of the wasabi.

“How can you eat these?” He cried, forcing the container closed and back into her hands. April shook her head and popped one into her mouth to show off.

“Now I know you won’t get into them.” She smirked. Casey’s eyes were upset and watery with his shirt bunched up by his nose.

“It’s just a little appreciation for you keeping Splinter company down here. We didn’t know what you liked Casey,” He admitted, plopping himself into his chair to continue packing while sitting. “but April can show you our stashes.”

“No problem, I enjoy hanging with him.” The woman added. “Brings back some of the good times, you know.” With warm memories, she placed a noisy plastic bag full of who knows what in his pack.

“W-wait!” Jones unplugged his nose and stood up straight. “The rat’s the only one down here?” The terrapin looked done with his half-lidded expression and notable groan towards the man. April, too, showed her dismay by rolling her eyes.

“He has a name. Master Splinter.”

“Master-my-butt!” He spoke without thinking. The room got quiet for a moment, waiting on the man to apologize for refusing to recognize Splinter and contemplate what he just shouted. Soon the man realized and shook his head and arms. “Anyways, you expect me to keep company with... “ He caught himself before he could say “Splinter? After the… man took me down after meeting him?” There was so much distress in his tone that Donatello had a hard time keeping his smile to himself.

“You charged him.” He said to keep his quick bursts of air from passing his lips, practically choking on his laughter. Casey extended his arm to ‘point’ and stepped towards the two.

“After you guys told me to!”

“That’s all Raph and Mikey.” At this point, Donatello’s could only hide his face in his lap. Sure, he was already somewhat laughing, but maybe not showing the contorted smile on his face won’t upset the man any further.

“But you stood there and watched!” He yelled over his shell. Despite his best efforts to get across the two, a turtle was cracking up laughing and the woman was on his side, not laughing but still smiling.

“If I’m not here,” Her sentence broke up some from the hidden giggles within herself. April placed a hand on his shell to acknowledge him that she was talking to him. “A-angel decided she wants to come down too. She enjoys maintaining his little baby trees.”

“Bonsai trees.” The terrapin rose with glee. A finger went to wipe a tear out of his eye. “Doesn’t seem her style.”

“She’s a special one.”

“Angel…” Casey interrupted. “that’s your kid, right? The girl you took in?”

“That’s the one.”

“Why’s she not here? Mikey left to go to her house, but I’d think she’d come to us to see us all off.” He reached over his desk to grab a few boxes of different flavored pop-tarts to put in his bag. So far, it looked like there was not enough space for a couple of the boxes to not make the trip, but Donnie would find a way. Donnie will find a way.

“Today’s not a fun day for her.” She explained. Her joyful tone deteriorated and spoke a little quieter. “Girl stuff.” A slight head cock forward and crossed arms was enough of an answer for him.

“Say no more.” He said, putting his hands up in surrender. Then, he looked to stuff the last two boxes in his bag but the zipper wouldn’t budge. He’d pack them tighter, but he wouldn’t treat his precious snacks like that. Crumbly pop tarts = OH HECK NAW! The turtle sulked for a brief moment, devising a plan until he took the two of them out and handed them April’s way.  “Can you go tell Raph to stuff this in his bag? He’ll probably give less attitude if you ask.” Donatello stuck out his lip and made his eyes larger than usual. April couldn’t resist the pouting puppy. She mimicked his face and took them out of his hands. When she did, he gave her a smile so wide that he had to shut his eyes to make it.

“Sure.”

A good 30 minute subway ride away, the block was bustling for the most part. The apartment complex the color of clay housed the Bridge family on the top floor. Abuela Bridge was in the living room watching reruns of “Judge Judy” before she left for work for the day. The door of the second bedroom was shut up tight. Even Abuela knew that today (or this week for that matter) was not a day that Angel can thoroughly control her emotions and outbursts. Man, did she have them. No pain medications could help this girl and the people that knew her knew clear well not to test her for the time being.

The Chicana gathered herself in a fetal position on her bed. One of her pillows her being suffocated by her hug while she left her phone on her Spotify playlist “Chillin”. Ironically, this girl wasn’t chill at all. In fact, she was sweating but not dared to wear something lighter than a sweatshirt and pants because she would be more uncomfortable as her stomach felt like it was being stabbed. The only way to escape some heat was to keep her hair up in a bun but it did not do much. This was how she was going to spend her first day of this hellish week.

Knock knock! Angel can’t recall ever reacting so quick. Less than a second, her pillow was out of her hands, she was up and was now looking around in suspicion. The sound was recognizable when she look towards her window which no longer appeared to be a window by the large obstruction in view.

“Angel, open up.” His voice was husky. Angel stood up and stepped towards the door. She had to adjust her eyes for they were pressed too hard against her fists, causing some black spots and other dark colors to her vision.

“Mikey, what you doin’?” She whispered back,just as huskily so her abuela couldn’t hear. She already asked her to turn her music down; there’s no need for her to become suspicious that a boy climbed into her window (a very special boy at that). The terrapin straddled himself against the window, keeping his feet up on the sill and hands close to his body in the case someone sees him and believes he’s just this really weird decoration and not a giant turtle.“Get in before somebody see you.” She lifted up her window for her friend. Michelangelo lifted his legs and stepped into her room. His body tilted forward and sideways in order to make himself fit through the frame of the window. When he got inside, the full brightness of the day hit Angel with a vengeance, causing her to hiss and growl at it while shielding her eyes to shut it back up. The chicana turned around and when she did the turtle was smiling and leaning forward with his hands behind his shell.

“I got you things.” He whispered. Instantly, that brought up the good in Angel.

“Ooh? Things?” The girl tried to inspect what was behind his back, but he stood up straight and kept her away.

“Aw yeah. If you have a couple days of involuntary discomfort, then we're gonna spend them right.”

“Aww, boo.” Despite her pout, she was incredibly excited for what her best friend had in store.

“Check it. Got you a snickers” he whipped out the king size bar behind his back. His other hand remained behind him. “cause snickers satisfies.” He presented it to her like a gift to a Princess, complete with a flat hand and a bow that brought his eyes to the floor. He brought her chocolate? She could cry if she wasn’t ripping up the wrapper to get a bite. Briefly, she looked up when she was chewing and saw an amused look on his face. It didn’t matter though; there was candy in her hands. So bad did she want to give him a hug with her free arm, but his own stopped her. “Wait, sit in bed while I pop this in.” The hand behind his back beheld a DVD of Friday, one of her all-time favorites.

“Boo, you suave.” Michelangelo shrugged.

“I know.”

Her playlist was now off and her abuela already spoke through her door to inform her that she had gone for work. Now, the two friends could watch their film freely with any commentary. Michelangelo was watching the film upside down because a.) he can’t fit on her bed (By the way which she had lifted just for when he visited to make him more comfortable), b.) he’s more of a watch-Tv-up-close type of person, and c.) the upside down part was just random. On his plastron, Angel placed her arm and head there to get a close view and keep her head lifted. Currently, the character “Smokey” was being ratted out by the film’s crackhead “Ezel”.

“Uhhhhh!” The terrapin felt his heat source cringe atop him. He curled up to see his friend grasp her stomach.

“Cramp?” Michelangelo asked most apologetically.

“Really hoping it's not a contraction.” She murmured.

“Could it?”

“Shut up.” Angel tried to wipe that smirk off his face with a push. The turtle beamed, curling up all the way until he was sitting up.

“Lie on your stomach.” he ordered, pointing his finger down to the bed. Angel raised her brow.

“What you gonna do?” Her tone was very suspicious.

“Don't trust me?”

“Heck no, what are you doing?”

“Dang, I got all this stuff to deal with your moodiness and suddenly I'm distrustworthy.”

“No, you're my best friend Mike who also happens to be a prankster.” He paused.

“All is fair.” He admitted. “I'm gonna give you relief from your cramps.” A further explanation helped some. Angel was going to comply, but with caution. “On your stomach.” he demanded.

“Pushy.” Angel sprawled out on her bed, stomach down.

“I need your back.” He asked. The girl used her legs to lift her abdomen off the bed. She was still a little suspicious but complied by pulling the back of her sweatshirt up which exposed her back to him. Her head was in her pillow, but it did not ease her when she heard him crack his knuckles ( at least she guessed they were his knuckles. Not a good time for a prank, Mikey). “Alright, my hands are gonna be low but don't stress about it.”  He began at her ribcage. His large hands overlapped at the palms with finger fingers gripping her sides. Slowly, he glided them down. At one point, a little too far down for Angel’s comfort.

“Hey, watch it.” She brought her face out of her bed to warn him harshly.

“What did I just say?” He snapped back sassily. This was all apart of the process so she needs to get over it.  “Ok, if this were to be my ring finger,” she heard him talk to himself. Hopefully this walkthrough would ease her nerves. “then the pressure point should be…” He pressed a knuckle into a part of her lower back. “here!”

Angel was sure she saw Jesus after that. Just as soon as he pressed his knuckles into her, the cramps were subsiding.

“Omg, how's that workin?” She exclaimed, thoroughly enjoying the treatment.

“I did my research.” He replied cockily.

“Real suave, boo. Real suave.” Angel managed to say as he continued to give her a treatment fitting for a princess. “If you get you a wifey, she won't deserve you at all.”

“Well, I'd rather comfort my best friend first.” He replied. The chicana turned her head to look at him. He was over her legs while his hands worked on her back.

“I could use a cuddle buddy.”

“I've been waiting all day for those words, come here!” The terrapin let his body fall on top of her. Before she could protest and return her request, he already had her wrapped up in his arms. A crocodile’s death roll got her giggling in his possession. Despite a plastron, Mikey was always cuddly in Angel’s eyes. It felt nice to be engulfed in someone else’s arms, as most people would argue, and this set belonged to her best friend.

“I wonder how much it is if I sell my uterus.” The weird question raised a brow from the terrapin and look at her in the eye.

“Why sell it? We need a couple more Angels in the world.” The orange banded terrapin

“Boo. It's a pain to me when I'm not pregnant, it'll be a pain when I am… Where's the upside? You know I don't really like kids.” Oh, he knew. Sure, kids liked her and always sought her out of they knew her and Angel’s been nothing less of a playmate. However, having to deal with the little “annoying ankle biters” who cried usually for the smallest things and got into trouble and made messes...nope. She couldn't see kids anywhere near in her future. A child herself, Angel confirmed she wouldn't want to risk raising a child like herself. That'd be too much.

“Yeah, I know.” He whined. “So… give me one.” Angel looked up. In her view, she can only see his neck and under his chin.

“Do you realize what you just said?”

“Yeah. You go ahead and have a baby and give it to me. I like kids, so I'll raise yours.” Mikey tried to bargain.

“Who's the baby daddy?”

“I don't know…” he thought quickly. “Somebody rich that we can totally bump money off of in the long run.”

“You crazy, Mikey!”

“Did it make you feel better?” He pulled his chin down which nestled into her high bun.

“Not too much, but I guess.” Angel had to agree, especially with that goofy grin spread across her face. “How long ya’ll think y'all be gone?”

“Who knows? A week, a month?”

“Where ya’ll gonna stay?”

“Vincent didn’t give us up to the local police, so we have no help on that end. We’re all on our own, really.”

“How you gonna go to a different country and don’t know where you gonna stay? How yall gonna eat?” The girl was obviously concerned, much like a mother. “I’ve seen yo appetite. 30 minutes without a snack, you go crawlin’ on your knees.” Suddenly, she began to speak breathlessly. “Food! Water! Atmosphere!” Angel played while making a spongebob reference that he could understand. The terrapin surrounding her gave her a tight squeeze and a fake, sarcastic chuckle.

“I forgot how to laugh.” Remembering his friend’s condition, he let up his grip on her just in case she decided to bite him anytime soon. “The NYPD set us up for two weeks. If we need more, we call ahead and they send more in.” Then, it was his turn to make a reference, but this time was a musical number. “Beans, greens, potatoes, tomatoes, lamb, rams, hog, dogs, YOU NAME IT!” Although not exactly everything the police department was going to send with them, Angel got the gist of it as well as a giggle.

“Sweet hookup.” She agreed, looking to the screen. “Imma miss you, homeslice. It’s never as fun without you around.”

“I know, I’m wonderful. When we get back, I promise we’ll go shopping cart sailing.”

“What’s that?”

“Where have you been?”

“I don’t want any of you split up for the duration of your visit.” Backtrack to that thirty minute trip, Splinter and Leonardo were still conversing on their walk around the home. Splinter was least concerned for Leo to pack for he was the “mother figure” and wouldn't dare to leave anything behind (or let anybody leave something important behind). He utilized this time to get Leo alone and have some one-on-one time to configure what his plans were.

“Does that mean we can’t split up into teams?” He asked. Splinter pointed a finger at him, continuing to gingerly walk through the tunnels.

“It means I want all six of my children to return.” He spoke firmly. Leonardo looked at his straight in the eye and nodded. He then brought his hands behind his shell and walked with his head down. The older rat placed a hand on his plastron to stop him. The gentle touch did the trick as well as provoc the terrapin’s gaze. “Our family is young and looking to be more and more independent. There’s no need to be looking for any lost mutant in a jungle.”

“I promise.” With assurance, Splinter patted his son on the abdomen and continued to walk. “There’s only a single location we are supposed to check out so far.” The blue banded terrapin furtherly explained. “If anything, we’ll get what we need and come back home in one piece.”

“You’re growing up, Leonardo.” He paused. “You children are travelling the world while saving it. I couldn’t be more proud of all of you.” His black nose rose to the air to show his pride through his eyes to his eldest son. He knew these words of encouragement are the world to him and now was a good time to exchange them. With his face slightly twitching in some parts of his features, Splinter smiled knowing that his son was hiding his blush as best as he could from him to maintain his standard composure.

“Thanks, dad.” It was hard to look into his eyes without showing too much emotion. Splinter chuckled. Leo couldn’t comply why, but he allowed it to happen without having to know the consequence.

As they came back around the main frame of the house, there was an audible grunts and other distressing sounds. A flicker of Splinter’s ear caused first alarm.

“What’s that noise?” The rat asked while his nose led the way to the noise. He was the one of the house to pinpoint noises and smells much more accurately than the boys’ or girls’ best. The upset took them down the hall of rooms in which the noise led them to the lit room belonged to the two mutant girls. The two of them approached the doorway cautiously. Inside, they saw the most bizarre display. On top of a large almost suitcase-like backpack, Venus weighed the overly packed baggage with April trying her hardest to keep the seams down for Mona to zip it all up.

“Um… some help?” Leo asked, in which in return he got three expressions of three deer caught in the headlights.

“We could use a boulder.” Venus commented on her part. Maybe more weight on top will keep their belongings altogether. Maybe… just maybe (or leave some stuff behind? Nah.)

“Say no more!” Mona jumped in; her breath rushed out after she let go of the thick zipper. When she released it, April, too, breathed and quit pulling the seam down for her. “Raph!” Her lungs bellowed out. “Get in here!”