#he’s 21 but he’s still a wee baby and I’m so excited to see how he’s grown!

[mycological-mariner]

I’m gonna be seeing my little brother for the first time in years in a couple of weeks and we’ve been talking and I mentioned reading The Worst Journey and mentioning Scott to which my brother said “Oh yeah, didn’t they name a ship after him? And it was special made for going to the Antarctic or something? It’s got a penguin painted on it.” I am DELIGHTED by this news of a giant penguin and my brother sends me a photo he took of the Scott last time it was in harbour and INDEED THERE IS A LARGE PENGUIN PAINTED ON IT. We’re obviously going to try and see if it’ll be in harbour when he’s here so we can go visit and see the penguin.

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

Young American - Part 21** (^?)

OK, I went against my entire plan and just had to split the last part into 2 parts because it was going to be way longer than I anticipated!

Full Series Masterlist is here

Warnings: unprotected sex, daddy/lg themes, slight degradation, breeding kink, and a baby glimpse of a pain kink. There's also a wee bit of sadness., but nothing hearbreaking.

WC: 18K

THERE'S A PLAYLIST FOR THIS ONE TOO:)

Don't forget to turn off shuffle!

… NOVEMBER…

“Do you think it’s a boy or a girl?” Rosa asked Y/N quietly with a smile as she tattooed the portrait of her hairless cat onto her forearm and Y/N smiled.

“I don’t know! I’m barely 7 weeks!” She giggled and chuckled.

“Right, but like you don’t have like a feeling?”

“Other than a little morning sickness, not really.” Y/N sniggered and Rosa laughed along quietly. 

“It’s kind of a bummer that you guys are leaving…” she sighed, “But at least I got tattooed by you before you left!” She said and Y/N smiled. She loved that about Rosa, she had a great ability to find the silver lining in things.

“Well it’s not like we won’t come visit and stuff or like you guys can’t visit us.” She said and Rosa smiled.

“True…but still, it won’t be the same without you guys around all the time. Rubbing your true and eternal love in our faces….putting all our love lives to shame…but whatever, I am happy for you guys.” She grinned.

“Thanks, girl.” Y/N giggled at her dramatics.

“How’s the feline nutsack coming along?” Vy asked as she came up and Y/N had to pull her hand away from Rosa as she hunched over and burst into laughter as Vy chuckled and Rosa scoffed and scolded Vy for her comments on her cat. “I’m sorry, but they’re literally so ugly and look like what I said. I hear they get greasy too.” She said with a disgusted look on her face.

“Everyone does…” Rosa defended.

“My dogs don’t.” Vy said and Rosa shook her head. “Anyway, your man sent me over to check on you.” Vy said to Y/N and she turned to her and giggled.

“Check on me for what?” She questioned.

“To see if you were planning on taking a lunch any time soon?” Vy said and Y/N’s eyes widened.

“Oh is it that time already?”

“Yeah, girl!” Vy said with a smile.

“Well can you let him know I’m nearly done, so I’ll just eat after I finish up here. I’m not all that hungry yet anyway.” Y/N smiled and Vy nodded. Not even a minute later she was back and sighed.

“He told me to remind you that you’re eating for two now so…”

“Just don’t go back, Vy. Chill here with us and we can all go to lunch together.” Y/N suggested and Vy chuckled.

“Sounds like a great plan.” She agreed as she pulled her stool over to Y/N’s station.

Harry had been so protective over Y/N and the soon to be baby growing inside of her. Considering his mum and gran were also around, she was living her most stress free life as the three of them and Julie were basically waiting on her hand and foot. It was pretty amusing to her. She was well aware that the first trimester was always the riskiest one and sometimes it just didn’t work out, so despite her excitement, she was trying to remain as emotionally neutral about this as possible for just a bit more. Contrary to what she’d told Rosa she did have a feeling about what the little thing inside of her would become. Something about it just…felt like a boy. And every time she’d picture the baby it was a boy, but again, because this was such a delicate stage in the pregnancy she just didn’t want to personify the baby too much as like an internal defense mechanism. She was half listening to Rosa and Vy’s conversation until she had finished up Rosa’s tattoo. Vy helped to wrap her tattoo up while Y/N cleared her station in preparation for her lunch break. When they made it into the break room to get their bags they saw Harry still waiting in the lounge.

“About time! What’re you gonna eat?” Harry immediately asked them and Vy grinned.

“Y/N said she’s in the mood for some top quality sashimi, so I think we’ll go do that.” Vy teased and Harry rolled his eyes at her and she giggled.

“Baby, for real don’t worry so much about me. It makes me anxious.” Y/N said to him as she came over to kiss the top of his head.

“M’sorry, I can’t help it.” He huffed.

“It’s OK, my love. I’m being careful, promise.” She assured and he nodded, “Did you eat?”

“Yeah, was just waiting for you to check in on you before I set up for my appointment.”

“Oh OK, well I think we’re just gonna get some tacos from across the street. Just text me if you want me to bring you back anything, OK?”

“Yeah, love.” He assured and she hugged around his shoulders and kissed the top of his head again.

“Love you. Be back soon.” 

“Love you most.” He responded and kissed her hand before allowing Y/N to grab her purse from the locker and Vy and Rosa waved goodbye to him as they left the lounge. 

“He has been so intense…” Vy commented and Y/N nodded.

“I mean, Harry in general is just intense.” She giggled, “But like…he’s wanted this for a really long time so I think he’s just being really protective of the asset.” She said as she gently patted her belly that quite literally just looked like her normal belly, she wasn’t even showing yet.

“I would be so stressed if someone was hovering over me like that.” Rosa said as they waited at the crosswalk and both, Y/N and Vy, glanced to Rosa with incredulous looks and she burst into laughter.

“Girl please, you’d live for the attention.” Vy said what they were all thinking and Rosa shrugged.Y/N would definitely miss this, she’d miss her friends from school and from the shop. Time was flying by way too quickly, they’d be leaving so soon and she felt like she needed to start making fresh memories with her friends, like this, just some time with the girls was really nice and was missed.

***********

All afternoon and well into the night, Y/N’s brain was spiraling as she realized that she’d been so wrapped up in Harry that she’d neglected her friends a bit and now she’d be moving to a whole other country and not really get to see any of them for a long time. She was overwhelmed with this feeling of sadness and regret at how quickly things were moving. Of course she wanted to go and she’d be so happy in England, she knew she would be. She loved London and she absolutely loved Harry’s family, but she also recognized that California was home for her entire life up until now. And realistically, she knew she wouldn’t fully feel at home in London for a while, it’d be a big adjustment. Maybe it was the hormones? But she couldn’t help it as her tears trickled down her face as she removed her makeup. She could hear Julie, Anne, Hillary, and Harry all laughing in the kitchen and she tried to focus on that and how nothing would really change because the people around her would be the same ones. But she would be so far away from everyone else… be so far away from her favorite places…it honestly had her feeling really sad.

“Hey baby, we’re setting the kettle. Do you want-” Harry stopped talking when he peered into the bathroom and saw her sitting on the toilet lid fully crying now, “Baby, what’s the matter?” He asked quietly as he shut the door and knelt down before her. She breathed in shakily as she got ready to explain her state to him.

“I’ve just been thinking about leaving all day and I’m…feeling really upset about it.” She shared and Harry tried not to take it personally as soon as the words left her mouth. He wanted to ask more questions before he felt upset or doubtful, but it made him sad that she felt upset about leaving to England how they had agreed and planned.

“In what way? Like what do you mean?” He asked as calmly as possible and she sighed shakily.

“Like I am uprooting my entire life. I don’t know why that just hit me today but it did! Like…come January we’re gone. Forever.” She said and he nodded.

“Right, but that’s what we agreed upon.” He said and she nodded through her tears.

“I know it is! But it feels too soon now. I don’t know how else to explain it. Like…I haven’t spent enough time with my friends, like even if I invite them to the wedding it’s not like they can save enough to plan a trip to another country for a wedding on short notice. Like…I’ve just been so wrapped up in us that I’ve kind of neglected everyone else.” She explained tearfully, “And I don’t regret everything we’ve shared together, so don’t even go there. I just wish I had…been more present for the other people in my life too.” She explained and as much as he was trying to not be hurt or upset by what she was saying, Harry definitely was.

“I don’t really know what I can even say.” He said softly and she could see that he was upset and she frowned.

“You’re upset.” She pointed out and he sighed as he stood up. Y/N dropped her face into her hands and sighed in defeat, “I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry.” She shook her head and that made him even more upset.

“I mean, I think it’s better to know now that you don’t want to do this than when we’re already there.” He said and she shook her head.

“Harry, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m just saying that I feel like I don’t have enough time with my friends, that’s it. Like…to go out and have fun…like there are so many plans I flaked out on because I wanted to be with you and-”

“So it’s my fault?”

“No! It’s entirely my fault! Like I prioritized our relationship over everything else, which I mean, I’m happy about where we are today, but like…everything comes with a sacrifice and I sacrificed other important people for this. For us. And it’s just about me and my priorities and time management. Like I just wish I had more time, that’s all.” She elaborated and he sighed.

“It’s not like we’re never going to come back and visit…”

“I know, but like…when? We’re gonna have the baby and we’re gonna be busy for a while and like…it’s just not going to be the same ever again.” She shook her head. 

Harry knew that she would never abandon him or leave him hurt and high and dry, but this is what the conversation felt like. Like she was regretful of making this choice with him. Like she wished she had done things differently. Like being with him was going to change her life but not entirely for the better. He didn’t like that that was even a thought in her head.

“So you regret it.” He said sadly and she sighed.

“No! Like regret is not the right word… I don’t know, maybe it’s just the hormones…” she huffed as she wiped under her eyes. 

“Don’t shift the blame.” He said and she pouted.

“H, I’m not. I’m just saying that maybe I’m just suddenly so upset because I’m just overproducing them right now. Like I literally started to feel this way in the middle of the crosswalk while going to lunch with the girls!” She explained and he sighed.

“So what do you want me to do?” He asked and she shook her head.

“Nothing. You just asked what was wrong and I’m telling you, you don’t have to do anything. I just need to deal with these feelings. Like I want to spend more time with my friends before the holidays but like…your family is here now and I can’t very well bail on everything to just hang out with my friends. Like I just…I wish I had a little more time now, that’s all.” She explained and Harry sighed.

“I know that you’re really trying to not make this about me, but I still feel like it’s my fault somehow.” Harry admitted and Y/N sighed.

“Baby, it’s not. It just finally hit me that like…this won’t be my home any more.” She explained, “I think out of anyone you should be able to understand that.” She said and he rolled his lips together.

“I left under very different circumstances. I knew I needed to go because I was dying over there. Like I needed to do this for myself! You’re just leaving because you’re angry at your family.” He said and her frown deepened even further as her eyes welled up again. She swallowed the lump in her throat and bit down on the inside of her cheek to stop herself from crying, she exhaled shakily.

“Yeah…OK…” She said softly with a roll of her eyes and just stood up from her spot. They hardly ever had any arguments, but whenever they did it felt like they were just really personalized attacks and that scared her. How could he say that to her? That’s what she didn’t understand and in a way she was just brushing it off because she refused to believe that he would normally take such a low blow. “Can you just…give me minute to just get my makeup off?” She asked. “I’ll be out in a few.” She said quietly as her tears streamed down her face.

“Now, you’re upset.” He said and she sighed.

“Yeah, I really am but I don’t…feel the need to defend my feelings to you any more. You’re clearly not understanding what I’m feeling and you’re making it really personal and it’s not cool…” She said and he scoffed.

“Of course not! One day you’re crying in the backseat of my mum’s car because you love England so much and want to move with me and now you’re telling me you don’t want to go when we leave in a little over a month!” He whisper shouted, trying not to call any attention to their argument.

“That’s not…” she stopped herself, “You’re doing that thing again where you’re putting words in my mouth and flipping your issues on me.” She called him out and he sighed and shook his head.

“Fuck…You’re right.” He admitted through an exasperated sigh, “I don’t mean to. You know I don’t. But after hearing what you’ve just told me I’m kind of freaking out!” He admitted and she sighed.

“Well when you act like this I freak out!” She said to him and he reached for her hand.

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, what I said about you wanting to leave…that was really fucked up. I’m sorry.” He apologized right away, “You’re right…I just…like I hear what you’re saying but like…my brain is like…making it about me and like m-my…my insecurities.” He admitted and she pouted and just hugged him tight and he exhaled slowly as he hugged her back.

“I love you and it’s OK, I know it’s hard to like slip out of the mental framework you’ve been like reinforced into over and over again.” She said gently as she turned up to look at him and he nodded.

“I guess I’m just…scared that you’re regretting your choice or that you might change your mind.” He shared. That’s what it had been about this whole time.

“No. I don’t regret my decision to start a new part of my life with you, H.” She assured him, “Like this is wonderful, we’re in a good place and I think we’re going to get to an even better place with this move and the baby.” She assured with a smile, “It’s just scary for me too. Like…I’ve never even been outside of California until earlier this year with you!” She reminded him with a giggle, “Like…this is my home, it’s where my heart is. And where the people I love are.” She said to him, “And I just feel like I…like I didn’t appreciate it enough. I’m sorry for making it about you, like saying I got wrapped up in us-”

“No, I get what you mean like…I am quite clingy with you.” He admitted with a small smile and she smiled back at him.

“I like that though. I enjoyed it and every experience we’ve had until now! I just…wish I had included more of my friends in everything. Like…they know you a bit more now from like the random hangouts we’ve had but like, they didn’t properly get to know you and they don’t get to see why I’ve decided to just move my whole life to England after some guy that I was always complaining about just a year ago!” She said and he chuckled and shook his head. “And like…” she sighed as her smile faded, “My parents.” She said more solemnly and he furrowed his brows and nodded as he listened to her, “Like…a part of me wants to give them a warning that I’m leaving, but then another part of me just wants to keep them in the dark after what happened with my grandma.” She said to him, “Like…I’ve never been the kind of person to want to enact vengeance on anyone, but this feels like the perfect opportunity. But then I think, what if something happens to one of them and they can’t get a hold of me? Like I know they’re not the most open, but I still love them.” She whimpered now as she cried and he hugged her tight.

“Of course, my love. They’re your parents, you’ll always love them.” He assured her, “And like, I don’t know, maybe you don’t have to tell them that you’re leaving in person or over the phone. Maybe just write a letter. Share your thoughts with them? Tell them why you decided to leave.” He suggested and Y/N nodded as she considered that.

“Yeah, I think that would be nice.” She sniffled, “Cathartic too.” She added and he nodded.

“Exactly. And you can spend more time with your friends before we go, you know? My family will understand it.”

“I will.” She assured and Harry smiled.

“Good. I love you.”

“Love you.” She responded with a smile.

That very night Y/N wrote her first letter. She decided that she would write her parents a letter every day until her last day in the states. She’d have Julie mail it out for her or something. And as she finished writing her first letter she signed her name and then just quickly doodled a little plane at the bottom left corner at the page and a runway that stretched all the way across the paper and then she put it away. 

… JANUARY…

It was a few days into the new year and they would be dropping Anne and Hillary at the airport in a few days. Harry would be moving out of his apartment over the weekend and staying at Julie’s with her until he and Y/N left on the 21st. In just 3 short weeks Y/N would be living in another country. It still didn’t feel real, but she was more excited now. She felt better about leaving now because she had seen more of her friends through December, she’d even had them hang out a little more with Harry and they all really loved him.

Y/N had been really enjoying seeing how easily Hillary, Anne, and Julie had connected, it made her feel better about Julie deciding to move out to England as well. She and Harry had originally planned to let Julie stay with them, but she’d already overheard Anne ask Julie to come live with Hillary and her while she decided if she wanted a place of her own since it was just them two in Anne’s 4 bedroom home. And a few days after that she’d heard them already making plans about how Julie could decorate her room. So even for Julie, as crazy as this was, she was excited about this new step in life too.

And well, as for Y/N and Harry, they’d spent the holidays reading tons of parenting and child development and psychology books. They planned to discuss what each of them had found and wanted to decide how to raise their child, this was more his idea, because Y/N was sure that whatever her and his parents had done during their formative years had been right because she and Harry were pretty decent people in her opinion. Y/N was at the tail end of the first trimester and everything was looking good. Being 3 months, she knew that she’d start showing a bit more now. It was a lot more noticeable now, or at least it was to her and to Harry too. He just held her tummy so much when they cuddled now that he literally felt her growing a little more each day.

“Today the baby is officially the size of a…?” Harry paused as he entered the kitchen, demanding everyone’s attention with his question. He glanced from Y/N, to Julie, to his mum, and to his gran and they all looked at each other not really sure of the answer. His mum finally glanced to him and shrugged. “And you call yourself women.” Harry huffed jokingly and they just mumbled something about him being a pest before they continued talking over their morning tea. 

They were all only drinking fruit or decaffeinated herbal teas in solidarity of Y/N’s inability to consume caffeine, though Harry had caught her fervidly inhaling the scent of his freshly pressed, piping hot espressos a few times because as much as he wanted to support her, he caved after 3 days without coffee. He served himself breakfast before finding a seat next to Y/N and she smiled at him quickly.

“Want a bite?” He asked her quietly as the ladies were talking with each other.

“Yeah.” She smiled. “Get it like super syrupy though.” She requested and he smiled as he drown the little slice of pancake into the syrup as much as he could before feeding it to her, “Mmmthanks, baby.” She mumbled through her chewing and he just kissed the side of her head.

“What time is it?” Harry asked and Julie tapped her phone and glanced to him.

“A quarter to 10.” She said and Harry smiled.

“Perfect! So, I’ve got an announcement!” He said and they all glanced to him, “In addition to the humble Christmas gifts you ladies received I have actually scheduled an engagement / family Holiday photo shoot!” He said and they all glanced to each other with excitement, “It’s gonna be this afternoon,” he said and then turned to Y/N, “at our beach.” he said and she pouted with endearment, “We gotta go one last time before we leave.” he said and she smiled an nodded.

“Yeah.” She agreed softly.

“So, we’ll need to be out of here by 12:30 the latest! Bring a jacket, s’gonna be cold. The sun sets right before 5! Julie helped me get you all dresses.” He said and she grinned as they all turned to her, “So get all dolled up! We need to meet the photographer there by 2!” He said and they all started to chat about that. 

Y/N was the first to head off and get showered, of course, Harry had gone in after her and snuck in behind her. Despite his want to just eat her out until he was lightheaded, because pregnancy glow was truly a thing, they were on a tight schedule! Her hair always took her the longest to do and well she wanted to do a blow out for her pictures so she did that while Harry cleaned up and while everyone else showered. She knew she would end up doing everyone else’s eye makeup so as soon as she finished her hair and own eye make up she quickly got Julie’s eye make up done, then Anne’s, then Hillary’s, then she finished her own look. 

“OK, where are the dresses?” Y/N asked Julie as she came into her room.

“In here…” she said guiding her to the walk in closet, “This one’s yours.” She said handing over a dress in a black bag and Y/N smiled. “Do you want me to clean your ring so it’s extra shiny?” She asked and Y/N nodded with a grin, “OK, leave it on my vanity.” Julie said and Y/N slipped it off and put it down before going to get changed. She hurried to the bedroom and found Harry in his briefs buttoning up his light blue shirt and he glanced up at her as she rested her weight on the door to get it to shut.

“Can I help?” She asked and he nodded. She laid the bag her dress was in neatly on her bed and came over and kissed his chest before doing up his buttons.

“Have you seen your dress?”

“Nope.”

“I think you’re gonna love it.” He said and she grinned excitedly.

“I can’t wait.” She confessed, “Do you think it’ll show the bump?”

“Mmmm, no. We’ll see right now though. Do you want to show it off?”

“I don’t care, just wondering.” She said as she left the last three buttons unfastened knowing that if she did them up he’d eventually undo them. She then went over to the bag and got it off, she gasped and turned to him. “You helped pick this out?” She asked him.

“Why do you seem so surprised?” He asked, playing offended at her reaction.

“It’s just, you and Julie obviously know me way too well.” She giggled and he came over and looked down at it with her, “I would’ve definitely chosen something like this.” She assured and he smiled.

“Good.” He said to her and then kissed her deeply, “I can’t wait to marry you.” He mumbled against her lips and she smiled.

“I can’t either. I’m really excited that we’re doing these pictures before I get too big though. Thanks for this! And that we’re doing it here too. This is really thoughtful of you, baby. I love it. Thank you.” She assured and he kissed her once again. She got dressed and just did a few more finishing touches before they were getting into Julie’s car. Harry was driving and Y/N was up front with him. Obviously, it was the winter, so they hadn’t taken Anne or Hillary to the beach, but as soon as they got into the canyon they were both glancing around in wonder. The drive out really was breathtaking. Y/N would definitely miss this and she knew Harry would too, they spent a lot of their summer at the beach. So as they drove through she paid extra attention to the scenery around her and took many mental pictures of this place and the people with her.

“Oh wow!” Anne gasped as they made it through the canyon and Y/N smiled as Harry made a right up the PCH and they started to cruise up the coast. She then glanced to Harry and her heart melted.

Y/N wished she could just stare at him all the time, especially now because he was quite literally glowing. He looked so relaxed, so happy with the sun lighting up his eyes and highlighting the golden hues of his hair. He looked so. Fucking. Hot. She knew coming into the second trimester is when you start to get insatiable and it had already started for her. Anything about Harry would get her going in a heartbeat! Like now, how he looked like a literal angel, he was the brightest star, she swore it. She released his hand and glanced up through the mirror to ensure that the ladies were distracted enough before she gripped his thigh and slid her hand higher. She saw his lips quirk up in a grin before he grabbed her hand before it went too high and interlocked their fingers again. He shook his head and then shot her a playful wink which made her giggle. But as he laid her hand flat over his thigh and let his fingers caress and tickle her palm she started to get all tingly inside. She glanced over to him with a bitten lip and he just smirked. This drive would certainly feel long.

“We’re getting close.” Harry said after about another 20 minutes of driving. He started to slow down as they drove past a large rock formation and then Y/N pointed it out to them on their left. 

“Oh that’s just lovely!” Anne said as she saw the sycamore trees lining the beach.

As Harry got into the turning lane and went into the parking lot Y/N gasped in total shock when she saw everyone from the shop and her school friends all waving and cheering as they drove in. Harry parked right beside them and she turned to him.

“What is going on?!” She asked him through her laughter and he smirked.

“We’re actually getting married today. Surprise!” He said to her and her eyes immediately welled up as Anne and Hillary squealed in excitement and Julie chuckled as they applauded her for her ability to keep secrets so well. 

“Let’s give them a minute.” Julie said through her laughter and so they got out and left Harry and Y/N alone as she expertly dabbed at her eyes as to not ruin her makeup.

“I hope this is OK.” He said softly and she nodded and leaned forward and pecked his lips, “Like, I know we talked about how you felt like you didn’t get to make as many memories as you would’ve wanted with the people that matter to you. And you’re right about them having a hard time with coming to a wedding across the world so I figured we could have this with our friends from here. We could even do another with our family in England if you wanted to.” He said simply and she smiled. He said our family in England that made her want to cry even more.

“God, I love you so fucking much.” She said softly and he pecked her lips quickly.

“I love you too and I just wanted to show to you that I heard what you were saying before.” He said softly.

“Thank you, baby. You’re so thoughtful. Thank you for understanding this really is the best surprise. It was killing me to wait any longer if I’m being honest.” She said with a bright smile.

“Same.” He confessed through some laughter, “Well there’s another surprise and that is that Julie is officiating.” He said and she shook her head.

“I’m gonna cry the whole time…”

“You can’t! The pictures and the video…”

“I’m too hormonal for this! Like I want to hold you and jump your bones and then I want to just curl up in a little ball and cry all at the same time!” She explained through a chuckle.

“Oh, there will be time for jumping bones.” He assured her with a playful smirk and she giggled, “We’ve got plans tonight and tomorrow night. So after this, we’re gonna have a nice meal with everyone and then enjoy a mini honeymoon. I do owe you a proper one but-”  

“Baby?” She pouted with a heart so full of love she felt like she might burst.

“Yes, my love?” Harry asked her as he cradled her face in his hand.

“We’re getting married.” She said with a big smile and he nodded firmly once, his own smile was bright and dimpled, “Like, right now!” She added and he nodded again, “I love you. So much. This is already the best day of my life.” She said softly.

“I love you.” He hummed before he leaned in and kissed her lips quickly, “Let’s do this.” He said softly and she nodded.

As soon as they made it out of the car her friends all cheered for them and came over and hugged them. There really was a photographer and a videographer there to capture each moment. Especially as they made their way over to the beach where they would have their little ceremony. Their friends had all brought their own little picnic blankets and some lounge chairs for Anne and Hillary which they set up right before Julie as Y/N and Harry had a few pictures taken before they went up there with Julie who was smiling so wide it looked like it hurt.

“Ready?” She asked quietly and they both nodded, “Welcome everyone!” She greeted with a smile, “I really won’t say too much because well, I think if you’ve spent more than 5 minutes with these two you’d see exactly what love is supposed to look like.” She said and they both smiled at each other, “When I first met Harry he had been an unexpected guest, Y/N had looked after him after a rager at Vy’s.” She said pointing to her among the guests and she giggled, “He was so terribly sweet, I liked him right away and after that he just…kind of kept showing up!” She said and everyone chuckled, “And Harry, you integrated yourself into our lives so seamlessly with your kindness and thoughtfulness. You brought so much joy and laughter and fun to our lives, but mostly to Y/N’s. You brought out a side of her that really just made me so happy to see and I’ve just been able to witness first hand how your care and love for each other has transformed you both into the best versions of yourselves. And well, Y/N has always had a really big heart, so I wasn’t surprised that she had wanted to make sure Harry felt like he had a home here, but this was so different. You literally just light right up when he shows up, it’s the most adorable thing.” She said to her and Y/N rolled her head back to prevent her tears from falling, “It’s such a pure love that you have for each other. Your family and I were talking about how you’ve both seemed to have perfectly filled the void you’ve had and it makes us so happy to see that you’re being loved like you deserve. You’re gonna have your own family soon-”

“Team girl!” G called out and everyone chuckled.

“I am team girl as well.” Julie confessed through a smile, “But ummm, I’ve seen the give and take, I’ve seen the squabbles, I’ve seen the hardships, the joys, and also the determination. I mean it’s crazy how much can happen in just a year, but what you two have, it’s the real thing. It’s the thing that so many people wait their entire lives for.” She said and Harry squeezed Y/N’s hand as he nodded in agreement with Julie. “And I love you both so freaking much and I am so grateful that I’m gonna get to see this pan out for a long, long time.” She sniffled, “So without further ado…” she said reaching into her dress’ pocket, “I actually have to say this bit to make it legit.” She explained as she also pulled out another ring box and handed it to Harry, everyone laughed softly at her words and fell silent before they said their vows. It felt surreal to be staring into Harry’s eyes while he stared back and they promised each other all the love, support, and respect in the world as they exchanged wedding bands. 

“Well, here’s to forever.” Harry said softly to her and Y/N couldn’t even wait before she leaned in to kiss him. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her deeply as everyone clapped for them. It wasn’t anything fancy or elaborate, but it was completely genuine.

“I love you so much.” She mumbled against his lips as they pulled back with big smiles.

“I love you too. I always will.” He assured her softly. 

They had some snacks at the picnic tables which G had brought to feed people while they greeted and took pictures with their friends and family. They hung out there for a bit before Harry announced where they’d meet to get some dinner and they all started heading off. The sun was starting to set at this point and it was getting colder.

“Ready love?” Harry asked as he came up to her and she looked up at him, her feet in the warm ocean water.

“Just one more minute, yeah?” She asked and he nodded and wrapped his arms around her and exhaled as they just looked out at the ocean as the sun started to set. “Baby, thank you so much for this.” She hummed and he smiled.

“Like I know it wasn’t like all that formal or-”

“I mean, but we’ve never really been all that formal either.” She said said and he chuckled.

“I suppose not…”

“It was perfect.” She assured him, “Was it legit though?”

“Oh yeah, Julie has a friend who works at the courthouse, they got us the license application, we just need to sign it and send it in.” He said and she giggled.

“You guys thought of everything…”

“We really did. We’ve been cooking this up since right after Thanksgiving.” He said and she shook her head.

“You guys are sneaky.” She hummed in amusement and he shrugged.

“It had to be done. I just couldn’t wait and I also thought a lot about what we talked about, with you feeling like you hadn’t made enough memories with your friends. I want them to be part of that too.” he admitted and she smiled.

“I’m glad you didn’t wait. It was genuinely perfect.” She hummed as he kissed the side of her head.

“Ready, love birds?” Hillary called out from beside the car.

“Ready!” He shouted and guided Y/N back to the car and soon they were heading off to the restaurant as well. 

It was nice to see the huge table decorated with a few pearlescent balloons and some simple centerpieces, she spent plenty of time chatting with her friends, introducing them to each other properly, it was all extremely fun and so special. The evening felt magical, everyone had a few drinks in them, apart from her and Harry (that was one thing he did stop doing along with her since giving up his caffeine was out of the question), and it was full of joyful chatter and laughter. Then she recalled that she hadn’t written her letter for the day, and that made her think of her parents, and she wondered if he had invited them. She turned to him and waited until he had finished talking to Auree’s girlfriend about something before she captured his attention.

“Baby?” She asked quietly.

“Yes, my love?” He asked as he turned to her with a bright smile.

“Can we ummm…can we talk? In private?” She asked and he looked at her skeptically, “I’m not trying to get in your pants. Well not yet at least.” She added in with a grin and he chuckled.

“Yeah, let’s go up front, yeah?” He suggested and she nodded. “We’ll be right back.” He assured everyone as they headed out of the private dining room they were occupying and as they passed by their waitress Harry let her know it was time for dessert and she nodded and assured him she’d get that going in the kitchen.

“What’s for dessert?” She asked with intrigued eyes.

“Chocolate lava cake.” He smiled at her and she gasped.

“Oh my god…OK, I can’t wait.” She assured and he chuckled as they made it out front. They were stood by one of the heating lanterns so at least they were warm, but a certain cold feeling still crept into her chest.

“So what did you want to talk about?” He asked her, feeling a bit nervous because why did she have to do this privately? Maybe she wasn’t as happy about this surprise elopement as he thought? Maybe he’d gone too far?

“So after we spoke back in November about how I felt we were moving away too soon?” She reminded and he nodded, “I took your suggestion. I decided to write my parents letters up until the day we left and they’ve been about what’s been going on with us, how we’ve been preparing to head over, what our plans are. And like…I’m just wondering if they know we got married or if I should like…be a little tactful with the letter I’ll write for today?” She asked him and he nodded in understanding at her question. He wanted to give her good news, but it was his duty to be honest with her. The truth hurts sometimes and…well he knew this one would really hurt her.

“Ummm…th-they know.” He said to her and he saw the sparkle leave her eyes before she looked away and took a slow breath, “Baby, I got both your parents’ numbers from your phone. I figured maybe they’re cautious with numbers they don’t recognize so I left messages and then I sent texts just so they would go ahead and listen to the voice mails.” He explained and she nodded, “I ummm…I got a text back from both numbers after a few days, it said to not call anymore and that they’re disappointed to hear about it.” He said and she choked on a sob that she wanted so badly to keep trapped in her throat and he wrapped her up in his arms, “It was the same exact message, so I’m sure your dad…maybe had your mom send the same thing as he did. He got back to me first. I’m so sorry.” He said quietly and she just squeezed around him, “I was going to tell you, maybe tomorrow afterwards, but I should’ve told you before instead of letting you wonder about it all day and ruin things-”

“There’s a reason why I asked until now, babe. I hadn’t even thought of them until I thought that I don’t have the stuff to write my letter tonight. The day has been wonderful H, believe me. I couldn’t have been happier. You’ve made me so incredibly happy.” She assured him as he wiped her tears with his thumbs.

“You positive?”

“I am. I promise you, hubby.” She said with a smile and his smile widened.

“S’gonna feel so good to refer to you as my wife. Been calling you that in my mind for a while now…” he said and she smiled, “Just…when you know, you know, I guess.” She shrugged slightly.

“I love you, Harry.” She said softly, “Thank you for thinking of everything. And maybe it didn’t happen how you hoped it would, but you still thought to include my family and that’s more than you even should’ve done after the way they’ve behaved towards you.” He shook his head.

“Of course love, they’re your family.” He said.

“Well, now you’re my husband and we’re having a baby soon so…we’re our own family now. And you don’t have to think about my family anymore. I know you…and I know that deep down a tiny part of you might feel responsible for this falling out,” she said and he sighed, “but you’re not. It’s been a long time coming. It’s what they do.” She said to him and he nodded, “Thank you for trying though. That means everything to me, especially after the way my father treated you. I just want you to know that you don’t have to try and fix it, it’s in their hands now.” She said and he sighed and nodded.

“I just had to try and make it right.”

“I know, my love. You’re the best man I’ve ever known.” She smiled at him, “I don’t want you to feel like the rejection happens because it’s you. So if there’s anything that ever needs to be communicated to them I can do it, OK? I don’t want you to have to deal with any unpleasantness just because they’ve got some sticks up their asses.”

“But your mum might-”

“She’s complicit, H. That’s what’s most hurtful about her actions. I’ve seen my dad and his side of the family shun people like this my whole life so I knew he was capable of that, but my mom? She’d just…rather lose the rest of us than lose him.”

“Hmmm…”

“Yeah. But again, thank you for thinking of them despite everything. Makes me love you even more.” She smiled and tip-toed to kiss his lips.

“Course, love.” He assured with a kind smile, “We can drop by the house to pick up your stuff for your letters?” He offered.

“It’s alright. I can write it on my notes and then just transcribe it.” She assured him and he nodded.“Be honest with me, is there anything about this that scares you?” She asked him and he bit his lip and nodded.

“Yeah, of course.”

“What is it?” She asked and he sighed.

“Just that…the love will somehow run out? Like I’ve seen so many couples that seem like they’re perfect but then they just haven’t loved each other for ages and hate what marriage did to them and like…I guess if you ever felt like we were heading down a path where you find the person you fell in love with is disappearing please tell me. Or even if it’s got nothing to do with me and you just start to lose feelings or…I don’t know, the magic dies…” he said and she nodded as she listened.

“How about this, lets promise to always speak honestly and listen to each other. You know how in Ted Lasso they say Oklahoma to like…basically just tell each other truth no matter how it comes out?” He nodded, “Like that. Let’s have that. And I mean, one thing I learned from my parents is that they always made time for each other. They’d go on dates, they’d have alone time, they’d take vacations together…like, let’s not let ourselves forget why we decided to do this.” She said and he nodded.

“Yeah, I like that.” He agreed softly.

“I promise you that if anything like that is going on with me or us I will tell you the truth. Obviously with as much love and tact as possible.” She said and he smiled, “But you tell me as well, OK?”

“I will, baby. Do you have any fears?” He asked and she nodded.

“Yeah, the same one as you. Like what if this just somehow doesn’t work out, but I mean, the fact that we’re even bringing this up on our wedding day somehow tells me it’s gonna be just fine.” She said and he smiled, “And ummm…s’mostly my family. That like…they’ll not be a part of our lives ever, like that they won’t come around. It’s almost like I’m grieving them before we go.” She explained.

“Yeah, I can see how that would be the case.” He said as he grabbed her hands.

“Like one day I’m fine and just accept that this is how things are and I feel OK with it. But then later I feel angry about it, or like totally in denial, or wondering if there’s anything I can do to fix this…but I think the more I write those things down the more it helps me feel relieved from it all. Like, I want to include a copy of the next sonogram in the letter, just so they’re aware that we’re having a baby, you know? I haven’t written about the baby at all yet, just in case…I mean, that was a huge fear I had for a while there. That something would happen and I’d lose it.” She said and he frowned.

“Baby, why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because you were so excited and everyone was being so protective and all, like I didn’t want to make you all feel bad for fussing over me all the time. Like the fact that you guys were caring so much made me feel better about not getting too attached yet.” She said and Harry seemed even more upset by that.

“Oh baby, I’m sorry you had to deal with that all on your own.” He shook his head.

“It’s OK, I do wish I had said something, but I think I was able to have some good internal conversations about why I was so scared to just…be happy about this.”

“And what’d you come up with?”

“It just goes back to my family. Like what if our child estranges themselves from us? Or what if we do something wrong and fuck him up?” She asked and he smiled a bit. “What’s funny about that?” She asked and he shook his head.

“Nothing at all. You just said “him” when you referred to the baby.” He pointed out, “Do you think it’s a boy?” He asked and Y/N smiled a bit as the topic seemingly shifted.

“Yeah, I do.” She confirmed and he smiled wider.

“I do too! Like I had a dream about it and maybe it’s because Archie was just so attached to you that you with a baby boy is like the image in my mind, you know?”

“Yeah, I get it. But I mean, as the parents I think in a way we have a connection that just…makes us kind of know if we really tune into it all.”

“Mmmm, yeah. Could very well be true.” He hummed his agreement, “But back to what you were saying before…we’re not gonna fuck up our kid, there’s absolutely no way. And like…maybe one day your parents will come around and we’ll feel good about introducing them to our family and they’ll see that we had everything we needed to start our own family.” He said and she nodded.

“Yeah. You’re right.” She said and he smiled.

“And I mean…I can’t imagine how much it hurts to be dealing with so many big moments and not having them here with you, but they’ve chosen to let you go, baby. Like it hurts me to say that to you, but that’s what they’ve chosen.” He said and she nodded.

“I know.” She sniffled and he kissed her forehead.

“I feel like you’re being dragged along, you know? Like you’re holding on, hoping that they’ll give you a glimmer of hope or something, but sometimes letting go is the best thing. Like…they can’t hurt you if you let go too.” He said and she nodded.

“I know, baby. I know.” She sighed shakily.

“I just want you to know that I’m here with you every step of the way. Like you said, it’s almost like a grieving process and like…I don’t care if we talk about it one time or one billion times!” He said with a smile, “I will hear you out and walk with you through the hurt and the disappointment and hopefully the recovery of your relationship with them. I’m hopeful too, baby. I want that for you, I do. So please, never feel like you talk about it too much or like it’s stupid to bring up, OK?”

“Thank you, baby. Thank you so much.” She whispered as she hugged him tight.

“Of course, my love.” He hummed as he rubbed her back gently, “So you really think it’s a boy?”

“Yeah. I picture a boy too.” She confessed and he smiled, “If it is, maybe we can name him after your grandpa. I know he meant a lot to you.” She said and he pulled back.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course, I’m sure. Apart from you, I don’t know of any men I would want to name a baby after.” She assured and he cringed.

“And if it is, I will most definitely not have a Harry jr.” he assured with a slight grimace and she laughed.

“Not even the middle name?”

“No.” He said firmly and she giggled.

“Alright, no jr’s.” She assured with a grin and he dipped down to kiss her lips.

“Also, whenever you’re ready to go just say the word. Auree’s agreed to drop our family at home.”

“Oh, OK.” She grinned, “Then…let’s go eat our cake and then say goodbye?” She asked and he smirked.

“You horny, little thing.” He mumbled against her lips as he playfully swatted her bum and she laughed at his playful jab.

“Like you’re any better.” She countered and he sniggered, “C’mon.” She said and they made their way back inside.

----Wedding Outfits----

They only stayed another 30 minutes before they headed off to their hotel room. And well Harry had delivered, the place was beachfront in Santa Monica, bordering Venice, and it was absolutely gorgeous.

“You’re all checked in. Enjoy your stay and congratulations.” The man behind the counter smiled at them.

“Thank you so much, good night.” Harry said and Y/N smiled before she followed after him into the elevator. 

“I can’t believe you packed up all this stuff and I didn’t notice it was missing.” She laughed.

“Well a benefit of you leaving your clean laundry piled on the desk chair in your room. I just took a couple things here and there over the last few days.” He said and Y/N laughed and shook her head. “And while you got dressed Julie swiped your makeup bag from the bathroom so that’s in there too.” He assured and she chuckled.

“Well thank you for thinking of everything.” She said with a happy smile.

“Course, my love.” He hummed as the elevator slid open. He took a moment to look at the signage, “This way.” He said guiding her to their room, they were just down the hall and soon he was keying their way in and held the door open for her.

“Oh! It’s so cute!” She gasped as she headed inside and immediately started to look around, “Look at this! We can watch the sunset while we have a bath.” She cooed as she turned to him and he smiled.

“I know!” He chuckled, “I’ve also booked us massages and manicures for tomorrow after lunch. We could use a little pampering.” He said with a smile and she grinned.

“Wow, baby. Thank you, I love this.” She said from the bedroom now and as she made her way to the balcony she cooed again as she swung the doors open and saw the set up of champagne, candles, and roses set out on the little table.

“Now that I didn’t do.” He chuckled and she giggled.

“A sweet gesture nonetheless.” She hummed and he nodded.

“I’m just going to call them to just take the bottle back. S’a pricey one.” He said and she nodded.

“Yeah, but first a kiss.” She pouted and he smiled and wrapped her up in his arms and kissed her sweetly, dipping her down quickly. Their permanent smiles kept interrupting their kisses.

“Sorry,” he chuckled. “M’just so happy.” He said and she grinned.

“Me too, H.” She whispered.

As soon as Harry let the front desk know that they weren’t drinking since she was pregnant the manager apologized and instead decided to comp their meals for the next two days - whatever room service they wanted, free of charge. Harry assured them it wasn’t necessary, but Y/N was quick to scowl at him and Harry chuckled quietly as the man assured him that it was fine. And well in the situation they would soon be in, saving some money couldn’t hurt.

“I can’t believe you almost turned down free food…” she said as soon as he hung up and he chuckled.

“It’s gonna be more than the champagne bottle! Was just trying to be honest.” He reasoned and she scoffed.

“So? They offered and besides, this is basically your dream come true for me, Mr. ‘You’re-eating-for-two-now’ Styles.” She reminded and he chuckled. 

“Yeah, yeah, go get cleaned up, Mrs. Styles.” He said guiding her to the bathroom as she swooned at the reminder that a name change would be coming soon. 

So with that Harry started to set up the tub while Y/N had a body shower and then he hopped in as she settled into the warm and bubbly tub. When she heard the shower door open she peered over at Harry emerging from the shower, dripping wet in all his naked glory. Fuck was he a sight to behold. She bit her bottom lip as he slicked his hair back and out of his face.

Harry could feel Y/N’s eyes on him and he was wanting to milk her gawking and attention for as long as possible. Finally, his eyes met hers and he smirked, making her blush when she realized that he knew she’d been checking him out this whole time. He couldn’t help it as his cock started to stiffen up at her salacious stare and at the mental image of the incredible sex he was about to have with her. With his wife. It made Harry’s heart pound erratically and for his stomach to flip and flutter with excitement and pure zeal and anticipation.

“Make space, yeah?” He asked her lowly and she scooted forward, hugging her knees to her chest as he climbed in behind her and then finally rested his back against the wall of the tub.

As soon as he was settled in she leaned back into into his chest and his hands circled around her midsection immediately and he rested his chin on her shoulder. She smiled as he exhaled slowly. She could feel his leg hair slightly tickling against her bare legs and she could also feel how hard he was getting. She had been waiting to feel him like this all fucking day and as much as she loved how soft he’d get with her sometimes, she was craving him in the horniest way right now. She put her hand over his, letting her fingers fit in the gaps of his and wordlessly guided his hand down to her folds. She felt him chuckle softly before he kissed her shoulder and quickly found her clit to rub into leisurely.

“Right, been waiting half the day, haven’t you?” He asked and she nodded. “Been so good for me. So patient, haven’t you, babygirl?” He praised her lowly and she smiled.

“Yes, daddy.” She hummed breathily as he added a bit more pressure, causing her toes to curl. She sighed in relief as his other hand came over her breast and kneaded at it for a few moments. She whined softly when he pinched at her nipple, she was so tender lately and she glanced down to see it immediately peaked. He was grinning at just how sensitive she was as he steadily built her up for an orgasm with a combination of that and his consistently delicious rubs over her clit. 

Harry could feel Y/N’s body wriggling and then tensing up against his with every passing minute. The pleasure she was feeling was winding her up towards an orgasm. It was making her breathing hitch and her legs to twitch as she fought to keep them open for him to continue playing with her pussy. Her whimpers started to get more and more consistent as she approached her climax and just as she was about to topple over the edge he just cupped over her pussy and she whined lowly and ground against his hand as the feeling started to fizzle, he smirked in response. She knew better than to complain so she just exhaled shakily and rested her weight against him and after a few seconds he started up again, he built her up so close…

“Don’t let yourself come yet. Keep holding it, baby…” He instructed “If you’re close to coming tell me OK? Can’t have that yet.” He warned and he kept going until a desperate groan crawled from her throat and he abruptly stopped rubbing and she relaxed, “Good girl.” He hummed mawkishly and she huffed.

“You’re going to kill me one day. Should’ve gotten away from you while I had the chance.” She joked quietly and he tutted.

“Don’t say that.” His deep voice grumbled seriously, “Besides, you can’t escape me now. You’re bound to me for life considering that not only are you my wife now.” He said as he tickled her sides and she giggled a bit, “You’re also the mother of my unborn child so…better start getting used to me and my antics because I think we’re in this for the long haul, wife.” He said and she giggled.

“You’re so annoying.” She hummed playfully and he grinned.

“Who else would I annoy if not my own wife? Hmmm?” He asked with a gentle pat on her inner thigh before he ran his hand up to the crease between her legs again, he could feel the different consistency of her arousal at her entrance despite them being immersed in the water. He felt her body tense as he added more pressure again and sunk a single finger into her, it was purely for his own purposes as he dipped it in and out a few times just to feel how hot and wet she was for him. Once his finger was all sticky with her arousal he slid it up to her clit again and rubbed it lightly as she wriggled a bit. She sighed as he kissed her neck. “You OK? Can you handle a bit more?” He asked softly and she nodded, “Your words, babygirl. Use your words for me.” He reminded.

“Yes, daddy. I can handle more.” She assured and he smiled.

“Of course you can. Always so fucking good for me. Such a slut for my cock, aren’t you?” He teased as she whimpered a response, “I love that you get greedy, means you know that I can give you what you want. Does daddy give you what you want?” he questioned her, “Tell me, baby. Tell me how spoiled rotten you are.” He hummed as he started to rub her clit quickly again until once again her legs were trembling.

“You’re so good to me, daddy! You give me more than anyone deserves, I love you so much!” she keened, “Oh daddy, it feels so good!” she whimpered as she kept herself on the edge like he wanted but she was slipping and her body was so tense and she couldn’t stay that way anymore, her muscles would surely ache the next day. Good thing they’d be heading to the spa. 

“Are you close?” he asked.

“Yes! So close.” She whimpered when he stopped.

“Want to come on my cock?” He asked and she nodded.

“Yes, daddy.”

“M’kay, my love. Turn around f’me.” He said softly and she did so right away. She was facing him now, hovering over his lap. His cock was so heavy, he had to hold it up for her to lower herself onto him. They hadn’t had sex since before Christmas, it’d been weeks and that was way longer than they’d gone in a long while quite frankly. Her voice quivered with a whine as she tried to sink down hard onto Harry’s cock, he was so big though. He didn’t fit as easily as before and the stretch, though uncomfortable, was exactly what she was hoping to feel.

“Hey, hey, hey, slow down, baby. Take your time, don’t wanna hurt you.” He said softly and she sighed in despair.

“I just need to feel you inside.” She mumbled against his mouth, “S’been way too long. Need you inside. Please, jus’get inside.” She whispered desperately and he smiled.

“Yeah, s’been too fucking long but still, take it slow we’ve got time. All night if you want it, babygirl.” He assured her and she nodded. He rubbed her clit to relax her a bit more and she started lowering herself slower, “Good girl.” He said and she just hid her face in his neck, moaning softly and relaxing in his hold when she’d finally seated herself completely and had his entire cock in her pussy. Harry gently thrust up as she ground herself against him. Her lips parted around a moan as she started going a bit faster. “Baby, look at me. Please look at me.” He panted and she reared back and pressed her forehead to his before kissing him passionately, “Fuck.” He grunted into their kiss with a smile as he went harder, causing the water to start sloshing around their bodies. She was still whimpering and speechless at how deep he felt and she pulled back to look into his eyes like he had asked. They were both looking hazy and completely gone. Both in a complete lust-filled daze.

Every time his thick shaft would delve into her sopping pussy she felt like melting in his arms. It made her legs feel like jello and like she couldn’t breathe properly. The consistent cadence of his thrusts and of his rubs against her clit were building her up quickly and she just wanted to feel the delicious tingles of an orgasm possessing her once again.

“Fuck daddy, y’feel so good!” She mewled against his mouth, “Forgot how deep y’can get.” she breathed and he tutted.

“S’not good. I’ll make sure there’s no forgetting ever again.” He huffed and she kissed his lips softly, “But carefully, of course.” He said as he slowed down and glanced down at the very slight bump between them.

“Right…” she hummed with breathy giggle.

“You’ve made me the happiest person alive. Did you know that?” He asked and she smiled timidly at his intense eye contact. “Made a lovesick husband and dad out of a chronic grump.” He smiled and she giggled.

“We really did this…like I’m your wife.” She said with a bright smile and he nodded.

“Hell yeah, you are.” He hummed in satisfaction before grabbing her face and kissing her slowly and deeply. She started rolling her hips into his again and as she slightly shifted, she gasped into their kiss as his cock found that spot inside of her that made her weak for him. She was powerless in his arms when his cock was caressing that part of her.

“Fuuuck.” Harry moaned in pleasure as his sensitive tip prodded into that hot and spongey part of her over and over and over again. Thrust after thrust of his cock into her perfect and delicious little pussy his resolve weakened and weakened. His hands migrated down to her bum and guided her into a pace that quickly got them back to where they’d been moments before. She smiled through a hiss of pleasure and pain when he delivered a hard smack against her ass. Then again and she cried out, “More?”

“Please! Yes, please more!” She keened and her back arched as he delivered another round of smacks to her ass. 

The water against her skin made the bite of the sting more intense, she swore she was getting dizzy from how good it felt. Harry leaned forward and wrapped his lips around her hardened nipple, suckling and nipping at her as he kneaded her fleshy bottom in his hands to give her a small break. One of her hands brushed the curls away from his forehead so that she could get a good look at his perfectly hollowed out cheeks as he sucked her tender nipple, the achey feeling was making her wetter for him somehow. He eagerly moved to the next one, loving her soft whimper of pain as he bit down a little too roughly this time.

“Gentle, m’a bit tender.” She gasped and he groaned in frustration. He’d been so needy for her that he just wanted to go rough and hard and wreck her. He thrust up hard and she yelped but started bouncing on him a bit, obsessed with the feeling of him driving into that part of her.

“Fuck, you feel amazing like this.” He groaned in pleasure, “Gonna make me come so hard, babygirl.”

“Fuck please, baby. Please come!” She whined into his mouth, “I need it so bad!” She gasped breathily.

“Yeah, baby? Want me to come inside you?” He mumbled against her lips and she nodded.

“Yeah, daddy, please.” 

“Should I challenge science and try and get you pregnant again?” He grinned and she swore she transcended to a new level of pleasure.

“Yes, daddy! Please, please, please.” She slurred as her pleasure started to peak. The tickles and warmth in her tummy started to spread through her entire body, making her start to lose her rhythm. “Oh my god, I’m so close!” She warned, she wouldn’t be able to hold this one after he’d edged her several times already.

“I can feel it, love. M’so close too, just hang on a little longer for me, babygirl. Just a bit more.” He said tiredly as he started to guide her rhythm, holding tight to her hips.

“Fuck, oh fuck!” She mewled as her forehead fell to his shoulder and his own head rolled back and his mouth dropped open as his abs tightened up impossibly and he started to unravel.

“Come. Come for me. Come for me, baby.” He moaned his command as her own moan just ripped through her throat, “Fuck, I love you so much. Fuck, love your pussy so much.” He moaned.

“I love you. I love you. I love you.” She whispered against his skin as her body trembled with pleasure, her hips moved all on their own, helping them through it all. She grabbed his face and kissed him deeply as their highs started wearing off. She wrapped her arms around him as he also just hugged her tight as they just basked in the moment as they caught their breaths for a bit. “I love you so much.” She whispered again and he smiled.

“I love you so much.” He responded.

“I can’t wait for the life we’re gonna have together.” She hummed happily and he smiled.

“S’day one and it’s already amazing.” He assured her, “Should we move this to the bed?” He asked softly as he pressed his forehead to hers and she nodded with a smile.

“Yeah. Have some making up to do.” She said and he hummed in agreement with a smile.

The rest of their night was spent like that, dozing off and making love until the morning came. And the next day as well until it was time to get back to reality. They were in a continuous love bubble and it never seemed to burst and now with this new commitment they had made to each other they just knew that it would get better and better. 

**********

Now the newlyweds were just a week from moving and Y/N and Harry had packed up all of their essentials. They’d been able to make some money back by selling some of their stuff. Harry had sold most of the furniture from his apartment to have some extra cash. Y/N had spent the weekend “flipping” her desk and vanity to make ‘em more modern in style and she was able to also make some good money from that as well and from selling some of her clothes and shoes to some thrift stores in the area. A lot of her clothes had sentimental value to her and she wasn’t all that big yet, but already there were some things that she’d struggle to stay in comfortably. And whereas before she wouldn’t mind a little squeeze or pinch to get something on she figured that much compression couldn’t be healthy for the baby. And this is how she managed to get everything she needed into one large suitcase, like Harry.

In truth, Y/N felt a bit sad to see her bedroom at Julie’s so bare…stripped of the essentials…of the things that had made made the bedroom her very own space. It was a perfect, peaceful, and sacred place to her. It was the place where she’d made sad art, happy art, and made love, and so many other wonderful memories. So as she stepped inside after her shower and saw it again she felt a little hurt in her heart and pouted a bit at what she’d be saying goodbye to.

“What’s the matter?” Harry asked from the bed and she shook her head as her eyes glossed over.

“I just…forgot everything was gone.” She said and he pouted with her.

“Oh, I’m sorry, my love.”

“It’s alright. Just got nostalgic.” She assured with a small smile before she went to get her pajamas on, which currently consisted of some sweatpants and one of Harry’s hoodies. She was absolutely infatuated with his scent, it was so comforting to her over the last few weeks or so, she felt the need to bask in it. She just needed to feel all wrapped up in it, it even curbed the occasional wave of nausea she’d get.

Harry watched quietly as she got out of her robe and into her clothes. He constantly admired how beautiful she was. Especially as her tummy grew more and more each week, he’s sure other people couldn’t tell the subtle differences week by week but he did. And it made him happy to be able to feel and see it for himself because it meant that their baby was growing just fine. She was 15 weeks along now.

“As of today,” Harry’s voice was suddenly behind her and it startled her a bit because she hadn’t anticipated him at all or to feel his big, warm hands sliding from her hips to hold her bump, “the baby’s the size of an?” He quizzed and she smiled.

“Orange?” She responded softly and he smiled and kissed her cheek.

“Yep. We have a winner!” He confirmed playfully and she snorted out a laugh which made him squeeze her gently as he laughed.

“What did I win?” She asked softly as she turned to face him.

“I didn’t think that far ahead.” He confessed and she giggled, “Any ideas?”

“Ummm…a big fat kiss?” She asked and he smirked.

“Yeah, I can do that.” He hummed as he continued to rub over her little bump as he started to lean in.

“Mmmm, maybe also the lo mein and kung-pao chicken bowl from Great Wall? With the spring rolls and sweet and sour sauce?” She asked with big eyes, he could see her desire swimming in them and he smiled.

“Baby, that’s a lot of sodium.” He chuckled and she huffed.

“Look, not that I’ve been snooping but…I’ve seen the book marks you’ve left in the pregnancy books in the diet sections and I know you’re gonna force me to be a super clean eater soon-” 

“I’m gonna do it with you! I’m sure mum and gran will also be joining us. And it’s not forcing you, it’s just what’s good for the baby.” He reminded and she sighed.

“Yeah, I know. But can this be an England thing please? It’ll be easier then because I didn’t like your fast food to be honest.” She admitted.

“Oh please!” He laughed with a dramatic eye roll, “We went to the chippy a few times a week while we were there!” He reminded.

“Because that was the only good junk food!” She said and he chuckled.

“Fine, fine…eat your American junk while you still can…” he said in surrender.

“Don’t pretend you wouldn’t die for Feng’s lo mein with the spicy tofu and veggies.” She said to him and he chuckled.

“Yeah, fine. But the fact that you’re on a first name basis with the chef at this point means you’re eating there too much.” He pointed out with a smile.

“My love, it’s a pregnancy craving…the baby’s basically begging for it and then punishing me when I try and satisfy it with anything else. You can deny me all you want, but you can’t deny the baby. Think of the children.” She pouted at him and he pecked her lips quickly and grinned as he shook his head in disbelief.

“You’re a manipulative little shit.” He said playfully and she laughed, “Get dressed then so we can go.” He hummed as his hands slithered back to her bum.

“Yes, daddy.” She teased and he bit his lip and shook his head at her mischief. He lightly smacked her ass a few times and then he smirked as he saw how much it jiggled in the reflection of the mirror on her closet door.

“Whoa…didn’t know this grew with pregnancy too.” He looked at her with a smirk as he groped her butt now. Kneading his fingers into her cheeks.

“Everything’s gonna grow…unfortunately. You know some people literally grow shoe sizes and never revert back to normal! I like my regular sized feet.” She said and he chuckled.

“I’m sure your feet will be fine, baby.” He reassured with a smile and she huffed.

“They fucking better.” She mumbled before she pulled him down for a kiss. Their lips met gently before they were pulled into a deeper kiss for a few more moments until he felt her skin covered in goosebumps and he broke apart from her.

“Let’s get you dressed so we can get you two fed, then.” He said and she smiled.

“H, I love you.” She said to him, holding eye contact with him and he smiled back at her.

“I love you too, baby.” He responded, “And you too.” He said as he brought his hand up to his mouth and kissed his palm before putting it against her bump with a happy smile.

********

“Got everything?” Julie asked as she came into Y/N’s room and she turned with tear-filled eyes and nodded, “Oh, sweetheart.” She cooed as she hugged her as she wept just a bit. This was it, this was goodbye.

“Please tell me this is the best thing to do.” She whispered to Julie and she pulled back and smiled at her niece.

“Not only is it the best thing, it’s the right thing to do.” She assured her and Y/N smiled, “I know that…maybe things aren’t the way that you imagined they would be at this stage in your life. I’m sure you always envisioned your mom and dad just as happy about your choice of partner, excited for your first baby, present at your wedding…” she said and Y/N nodded with a sniffle, “You don’t deserve for them to just take away their love like that. And I know that having your family is important, but you’re starting a new family, with Harry. Your best friend, the love of your life! And your little family will be full of limitless love and support and so much happiness. You’re going to have a new home and a new place to flourish and grow into the person you were always meant to be! And yes, growing can be painful, but it’s far more painful to be growing in a place where you no longer fit.” She explained gently, “And you, my love, have outgrown this place…the life you had here even. And of course, it doesn’t mean that it wasn’t great or spectacular, but now you’re onto greater and more spectacular things, yeah?”

“Yeah.” She whispered back and Julie smiled.

“I love you so much.” She said before hugging her tight.

“I love you too.” Y/N sniffled. She then shared with her the letters she’d been writing and asked her to please mail them out on her way home and Julie agreed to do so.

On the drive to the airport Harry just let her sit quietly and look around at everything as they made their way down the freeway. She was just taking everything in and while they could always visit, this was no longer going to be her home, so it was still an intense feeling. When he left England he knew that he’d be in LA for at least a few years, but he always intended to go back when things got better for him. He’d only ever considered staying if Y/N had asked him to but she never did though, she knew what his family meant to him, she knew that he was just trying to reacquaint himself with himself. She’d seen him at his absolute lowest point and still managed to love him for everything he was then. She saw everything that he could be and she believed in him and helped him find himself again. Maybe she hadn’t been hurt and broken in the exact same ways he had been, but she was still hurt and broken right now and this was the first step towards healing. He knew it would be hard for her, but he would do the same thing she did for him. Believe in her and love her through all of it and help her see that she deserved the very best.

The drive flew by and the goodbye with Julie was tearful though she’d be joining them soon. They had come extra early just so they could all just hug each other for a few minutes.  They were doing it. They were moving on. And with on final wave Y/N was following Harry into the airport. And after getting through everything, they were sitting in the airplane and she was squeezing his hand tight as they started rolling down the airway. This was it. She turned to Harry with nervous eyes and he just smiled at her and gave her one reassuring nod and she smiled at him, despite her tearful eyes.

“We’re going home.” She said softly and he nodded.

“Yeah, my love. We’re going home.” He smiled.

… FEBRUARY…

Harry had spent his birthday morning quietly because his mum and gran had taken Y/N for a “stroll”, but he knew they were up to something. They were gone by 7:30 and now it was nearing 8:30 and he had just finished making his espresso.

“Happy birthday to you…” he heard from behind him and he turned from the kitchen sink where he’d been washing his espresso pot,“Happy birthday to you…” She sang and he smiled, “Happy birthday dear, husband or Harry…” she giggled, “whichever you prefer…” she sang through her laugh, still in key with the melody of the song and he chuckled along.

“I think husband is the preferred one.” He interrupted and she smirked.

“Happy birthday, dear husbaaaaand…” She sang the part again and he giggled, “Happy birthday to you!” She finished singing as she brought her hands out from behind her back with an envelope and extended it out to him.

“You didn’t have to get me anything.” He said to her and she shrugged with a smile, “Is this what…you ladies went out to get?” He raised his voice towards the end and Y/N laughed softly as Anne and Hillary peeked in from around the corner and emerged with a little cake. “No sane person goes for a leisurely stroll in February.” He said to the three of them and they all laughed as well as they came into the kitchen.

“It’s your birthday, of course we had to get you something.” Y/N said with a smile, “Here, open it up.” She insisted, “I promise you’ll like it.” She said with a grin and he chuckled and gripped the envelope. Anne and Hillary were leaning on the kitchen counter, waiting eagerly for him to open his envelope.

“Alright, let’s see.” He said opening it up and chuckled at the card inside. It was a sketch of Jenna from “13 going on 30” in her iconic rainbow dress with the words “Thirty, flirty, and thriving inked across it.”

“Know how much you love a rom-com.” Y/N hummed and he shook his head as he knocked his head back a bit to laugh. He then opened up the card and saw a big message on the right side that said, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD!” And he smiled as he skimmed over everyone’s notes quickly before the picture of the sonogram that was tucked inside captivated his attention. It looked newer than the last one they’d had taken and as he glanced over it he saw that the paper had been marked with a sharpie and he swears his entire world paused as he read the words spelled out in the marker, “BTW that’s a willy” and he followed the line that had a little arrow at the end and pointed at said “willy” on the sonogram. “Wait-”

“It’s a boy!” They shouted. Suddenly his sister and brother in law popped out of nowhere with Archie and Ivy and shouted the big news at him along with his mum, gran, and of course, Y/N. He hurried to Y/N and hugged her tight as he laughed with joy.

“You were right.” He said softly as he looked into her bright and excited eyes.

“We were right. Happy birthday, H.” She said softly as she looked into his eyes, they were all glossed over as they met her own and he dipped down to kiss her deeply.

“Thank you, baby. This is the best gift.” He smiled and then turned to his family who flocked over and hugged him as well.

“Thank you for your help.” Y/N said to Anne as Gemma congratulated Harry. 

“Of course, darling.” She hummed and they both glanced over as Harry crouched down and high-fived Archie before hugging him tight. The sight had an added effect on her now that it was confirmed that the little person growing inside of her was also a boy. Harry then pointed over to Y/N and Archie smiled wide and she crouched down as he rushed over to her.

“Hi auntie Y/N.” He greeted her with a bright smile.

“Hey Arch.” She smiled as she opened her arms and hugged him tight, “Told you I’d see you again soon.” She said to him and he just giggled.

“Can we eat the cake now?” He asked and she giggled.

“I think that’s up to your uncle.” Y/N said and Harry smiled.

“Well I say breakfast first and then cake. How’s that?” He asked Archie who just sighed.

“Alright…” he mumbled and Y/N giggled. 

Soon she was properly greeting Gemma, Skye, and Ivy as they congratulated her. Eventually, they were all having breakfast as they chatted and caught up before Skye and Gemma had to head off to work, the kids would be staying with her and Harry for the day.

“What are we doing today, uncle Harry?” Archie asked with an excited smile.

“Do you want to help us find a place to live?” He asked and Archie seemed to light up at that idea.

Y/N and Harry had been back for a little over a week and had been staying with Anne and Hillary while they found their own place. They’d been doing a lot of that over the last week and Harry was also figuring out a work schedule with Eddie. Since Y/N was here on a visa and couldn’t legally work yet she had agreed to help Anne out at her shop or run errands with Hillary when needed. There were a lot of things that she had to get together to even be able to properly function in this new place. It would help speed things along with their marriage certificate, which Julie would be sending as soon as it arrived.

Obviously, things were still falling into place, but they were moving in the right direction. They had been able to see several listings and actually having Ivy and Archie around actually helped them think about how things would look with their own child in the space. And as always, they’d had a great time with them, they were pretty well-behaved kids and were quite fun to be around, but they were exhausted after parading them around all day. Harry had just finished buckling in Ivy’s carseat with her in it and now he was moving on to Archie.

“They weren’t too insane were they?” Gemma asked as Harry transferred a sleeping Archie into Gemma’s car, carseat and all. Y/N bit her lip for a moment as she watched for a second, she forgot how strong he really was sometimes. And then she shook her head in response to Gemma’s question.

“No, not at all. They were helpful if anything.” She assured and Gemma chuckled.

“OK, good.” She grinned, “Were you able to get an appointment with Dr. Livingstone?” She asked of the OB doctor she’d recommended.

“Yeah, for three weeks from now. Thank you for that, I’d been going to the same doctor since I was 18, so I was a bit nervous about having to find someone new.” She explained.

“Of course! And well, if you have questions about anything about being a mum or things to buy let me know. Also, we’ve got plenty of newborn clothes from Ivy and even a couple things that Arch outgrew that we kept for Ivy, like coats and jammies or like those ummm bottom layer things?”

“Like to keep ‘em warm?” Y/N asked and Gemma nodded, “Thermals.”

“Yes, thermals!” She chuckled.

“Well, yeah anything helps. I mean, I don’t think it matters if they’re for boys or girls, all babies look the same for quite a while.” She said with a shrug and Gemma nodded.

“Exactly!” She said and Y/N chuckled, “Well Ivy was a warm weather baby as well, so when you get a bit closer I can just unpack the stuff she’s outgrown so far and you can have a look at anything you might want. We got plenty of gender neutral stuff at the shower.”

“Perfect.” Y/N smiled and they hugged to say goodbye and soon she was saying bye to Harry as well.

“See you on Sunday!” She called before driving off as they waved goodbye from the front of Anne’s house. She smiled as she felt Harry’s arms around her midsection before he kissed the top of her head.

“Think we found the place today?” He asked lowly and she hummed.

“Mmmm…I don’t know. I really liked the last two we saw today but again, I don’t know.” She said as he started to turn them around to head inside. He was walking behind her, still wrapped around her body as he hummed.

“I liked the last one most. The town home-”

“I liked that one too but we can’t necessarily afford that now.” She reasoned. He stopped her and turned her around to face him.

“Baby, what do you think my savings are even for?” He chuckled and she shook her head.

“H, it’s your money. And I thought you said you’d depleted them on your move to LA.” She said and he smiled.

“Our money. Because we’re married now and-”

“Now we are, but when you earned that it was for you, yeah?”

“Yeah, but also to prepare for the future so I wouldn’t have to start from scratch when I got married and had a family. And like…” he sighed, “Yeah, I did deplete those savings a bit, but I had an account that I just left alone here as well. And I don’t mean to sound like a prick, but like…it’s…a pretty substantial amount. And I’m only telling you that because I know it probably shouldn’t bug me, but hearing you talk to Gemma about taking whatever hand-me-downs she has from Archie and Ivy like…” he looked down at their hands and his thumb ran over her wedding band, “I am more than capable of getting new things for the baby. Like I don’t want you to feel like we need to see what we can get our hands on like some charity case.” He said with a frown and Y/N pouted as he said this.

“Baby, look at me for a sec.” She said and he glanced up at her with welled up eyes and she swore her heart broke for him, “I wasn’t accepting that because I don’t think we can afford it or because I don’t think you can’t support our family. S’just that babies grow super fucking fast!” She explained with a small smile as she reached up to stroke his cheek, “I would hate to spend so much money on baby clothes just for them to be grown out of in a month.” She explained, “Like, that’s not a smart use of our money.” She said and he smiled a bit.

“That’s true…”

“And like in terms of where we want to live…I don’t know how long it’ll be before I can properly get hired and like…help you out. I don’t want all of this to fall on you either whether you have the money or not.”

“Well I also don’t want you to feel like you just moved here with me to struggle and be cooped up with my mum for a year or two. Especially if I have the capability of getting us our own place.” He explained, “Like…you literally moved your whole life to another country for me. For us. And I know that you’re gonna be on mum duty for a bit until we get all your paperwork squared away, but I also want you to be comfortable in the meantime.” He explained, “I don’t want you to be in the dodgy part of town all by yourself at our place or just hanging out with my gran all day. Like I want you to feel safe and secure and happy in our space. And like…I kind of want a house. Like…that was my goal.” He said and she smiled.

“I think that’d be great, H. But I just want you to know that I don’t need a house to be happy or to feel safe and at home. I love your gran and your mom, they’re a hoot and I like being with your family, OK? There’s literally no rush. But if you think that a house is the best move and the best investment of your hard-earned money, then perfect.” She said softly and he smiled.

“OK.” He hummed, “I just like…I want the baby to grow up in one place, you know? And when we’re all old and a little batty I want us to have all of our memories in one place.” 

“That does sound really nice…” she said softly and he smiled, “I just want to make sure that you know that I don’t expect everything to just…fall into place and be perfect from the get go. We made a huge move already! Well two actually.” She said and he nodded with a smile, “I trust you and I trust your judgement and I love you.” She said softly and he leaned down to kiss her lips gently.

“When I was driving back from the shop the other day I saw a house for sale kind of between mum’s shop and Gem’s place.”

“Oh, that is a good location. Pretty central.”

“Yeah…I ummm, I went to check it out since they were doing an open showing.” He said and she smiled, “Got the ladies’s number and all in case you want to go see it too?” He asked and she smiled.

“Yeah, let’s do it then.” She said and he smiled a bit wider.

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah, baby.”

“Perfect. I’ll call her right away. Ummm, I just want you to know that I want to take care of you. You took care of me in a strange place and now this is a new place for you and I just want you to know that I fully intend on doing the same for you.” He said and she smiled and soon she started to laugh softly and he pouted a bit, “What?” He asked in confusion.

“I just realized that our baby’s gonna have an accent.” She started laughing a bit harder and he chuckled along.

“Actually he’s gonna ask why you talk funny.” Harry smirked.

“Poor little guy, he’s gonna be so confused. If I’m gonna be with him most of the time he’ll definitely have my American accent for a bit…and then kids’ll make fun of him in school and he’ll have to assimilate to make friends.” She sighed with a small pout and he grinned.

“What if we try super, super hard to have him call you “mom” instead?” He smiled at her and she grinned.

“Please. S’better than ‘mummy’ if I were to be honest…I’m not some dried out old carcass.” She said and he chuckled and rolled his eyes at her really lame joke.

“With jokes that bad you’re lucky you’re so fucking endearing.”

“I try…” she hummed playfully.

“We’re gonna be alright, yeah? I promise you, we’ll be alright.”

“I know, H. I mean it when I said that I trust you.”

“I know you’ll do the best thing for our family.”

“I will my love. I really will.” He promised.

************

When Harry and Y/N discovered that the previous owner of the house they were initially interested in had actually…done himself in… after a divorce, they were a bit shocked. Y/N assured him that they could sage the house or something just in case, but Harry immediately declined putting in an offer because although he didn’t believe in ghosts, a marriage went to shit in that house and he didn’t want those bad vibes for them. 

Luckily, they’d found another listing a bit closer to Anne’s shop and that’s the one Harry ended up making an offer on. It was a two story house with 3 bedrooms, two full bathrooms, and then one half bath. The inside of the house wasn’t all that large, but their backyard was spacious, a perfect place for pets and their son to play down the line.

Y/N was 22 weeks along now and Harry was policing after her as they brought their stuff over from Anne’s place. He wanted to make sure nothing was too heavy for her so he had her unpacking the kitchen stuff. She was sure that it was still fine as long as she wasn’t straining herself too much, but she didn’t want to stress Harry out over nothing, also her appointment with the OB Gemma recommended was the following week, just in time for her 5th month. She could properly ask all the questions about what she could and couldn’t do then and well, she was quite excited to see how the baby was coming along. But for now she’d just let him do all the heavy lifting.

“Alright, so this is the last box for the kitchen.” Eddie said and Y/N swirled around from her spot on the counter at the sound of his voice.

“Hi! I didn’t know you were coming to help!” She said putting down the box cutter and hurrying over to help him with the box in his hands.

“Of course! No, no, I’ve got it, it’s a bit heavy.” He said and she moved out of his way as he placed the box down on the empty spot on the counter. He then turned to her and smiled wide. “Look at you!” Eddie said with a soft smile.

“I know…” she hummed.

“Just two years ago you were sitting at a tattoo con trying to sell your art…” he reminisced and she chuckled.

“Yeah…so crazy.” She shook her head as they hugged.

“Are you still drawing though?” Eddie asked.

“Oh yeah! I have lots of free time right now.” She giggled, “Gotta take advantage before I’m drowning in poopy diapers.” She joked and he chuckled.

“Yeah, best of luck with that.” He said and she smiled, “I mean… I know you can’t technically work at the moment but we could sell some of your art designs if you want? Just plop ‘em in with Harry’s stuff if you want?” He asked and she smiled.

“I’ll certainly talk to him about it and see if that’s something to do. I’d have to find a print shop here to get that going again and well, he’d have to pay for it at the moment.” She explained.

“Well, if you go through with it consider me an investor, yeah? There’s a couple people I know who sell prints and whatnot, I can find out if they have any shops they recommend?” He said and she smiled.

“You’re too nice to me, Eddie…” she sighed and he chuckled.

“Just helping out my friends.”

“Well yeah, if you find something from a trusted person I’d definitely reach out. I know Harry’s all in husband/dad mode and I know he wants to take care of everything but I want to help out too, you know? Don’t want him to feel like he’s the only one pulling his weight-”

“Baby, you’re pulling plenty of weight just by being pregnant.” Harry said as he came into the kitchen with a smirk.

“Right, but we’re just talking about possibly selling some of her prints in the shop if she finds a printer. So some income and no heavy lifting required.” Eddie assured and Harry smiled.

“Yeah, no heavy lifting!” She agreed, “We can talk about it later yeah?” She asked him hopefully.

“Course, love. Ummm, I came to bug you because we need to get the mattress into the bedroom.” He smiled at Eddie who just sighed.

“Yeah, alright…” he finally said, “Your gran didn’t want to help? She has’t really done much.” he mumbled jokingly as they walked off and Y/N giggled as she heard Harry telling Eddie to fuck off. 

After a few hours all of the essentials were in and everyone was heading home after they’d shared a meal and Harry and Y/N were left alone in their new home. Obviously it was still a bit bare and they just had the essentials but it was a place of their own. They were both getting ready for bed their master bath had a double vanity and Y/N glanced over to Harry with a big smile and love-struck eyes.

“What?” He giggled as he dropped his toothbrush into the holder and she shrugged.

“Just happy to be here with you.” She said to him. “Thank you for all of this, H. I love the house and I can’t wait to make it our own.” His only response was to take the few steps over to her and hug her tight.

“I’m glad you like it, my love. Gonna have to start thinking about the nursery first I think.” He mused and she nodded.

“Oh, definitely.”

“I have only one request about that.”

“OK?”

“When Gem’s had Arch the whole neutrals fad had started and I think it’s the most boring thing-” she gasped and pulled back.

“Oh my god! Me too!” She exclaimed and he smiled in relief, “The babies need the visual stimulation. The neutrals are ghastly in a nursery…” she said with a head shake and Harry nodded with wide eyes.

“Thank you! Agreed! I gave Gemma so much shit about it…” he recalled with a chuckle, “But as long as we’re on the same page with that…” he said and she nodded.

“We are. We’ll just have to think of like a theme. And we can paint some stuff on it to like make it artsy and more personal?” She asked excitedly and his smile widened.

“Definitely! I’d love to do that with you.” He said softly as he tucked her hair behind her ear. “You know, the more I think about how quickly time’s passing by I ummm…I just feel really sure that we’re gonna do a great job as parents.” He spoke softly.

“I still feel a bit nervous, but it’s mainly about the birthing bit.” She said with a sigh.

“Yeah, I can’t really help you feel better about that.” He said with a small smile and she shook her head with a giggle.

“No help…” she hummed and he just kissed her forehead.

“I’ll be with you the whole time, if that helps.” He chuckled and she shook her head.

“I doubt it will now.” She teased and he chuckled.

“Ouch…” he said and she grinned.

“You asked for it.” She quipped with a playful glint in her eye.

“Suppose so.” He said with a soft smile.

Soon enough they were cuddled up together, as was custom now, one of his hands was on her tummy as he just rubbed over her gently, which actually helped her lotion absorb into her skin better. Suddenly she felt harsher movements in her tummy and Harry started to feel around her belly until his hand was right over where the baby was moving. Soon her hand came over beside his and she gasped as she felt the soft little movements.

“He’s kicking!” She laughed happily.

“Oh my god.” Harry’s voice cracked as every good emotion overwhelmed him in that moment and he just sighed happily as he just transferred all of that joy, awe, happiness, and positivity to his little son swimming around in there and to Y/N, his wife, the love of his life. He felt her giggle happily as her fingers interlocked with his over the movements happening in her tummy.

“Oh…?” she gasped a bit in shock as the baby started to kick a bit harder. Harry pulled the covers away and just knelt over her and exposed her tummy before he kissed the bump a few times.

“Slow down, bud! You’re not going anywhere anytime soon.” He chuckled, his lips grazed against her smooth skin as he spoke, “So you gotta let your mom get some rest.” He hummed and Y/N smiled as her fingers wove into his hair. “We love you so much. We can’t wait to meet you either.” He mumbled against her skin before giving her bump a few more kisses.

He then settled over her carefully and kissed her deeply, their excited smiles ended the kiss. Harry smiled happily before kissing her once more and then cuddling back up to her and for now the baby had done all his moving and so they settled back into bed with huge smiles and hearts bursting with love for their little boy.

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---- Tag List ---

@sunshinemoonsposts @keriberi @ottawaoutlander @gurugirl @reveriehs @sunflovverharry @daphnesutton @jessitpwk @cherrysulewski @sad-avocado @angelbabyyy99 @permanentllyharry @justlemmeadoreyou @matildasatellite

[donttalkaboutmemes]

Lady and The Tramp (1955) Sentence Meme

Under the cut you will find 90+ sentences from 1955 version of Lady and The Tramp to use for your enjoyment!    

1.      “It’s for you, darling. Merry Christmas.”

2.      “It’s the one I was admiring, isn’t it? Trimmed with ribbon?”

3.      “What a perfectly beautiful little lady.”

4.      “Are you sure she’ll be warm enough?”

5.      “This is where you belong. Right here.”

6.      “If we’re going to show her who’s master, we must be firm from the very beginning.”

7.      “Remember. Just for tonight.”

8.      “Have you noticed since we’ve had her, we see less and less of those disturbing headlines?”

9.      “I just don’t know how we ever got along without her.”

10.   “You know how sensitive he is about those things.”

11.   “Dreaming of those bonny bygone days when he and his grandfather were tracking criminals through the swamps.”

12.   “It’s time you knew the truth, lassie.”

13.   “It shouldn’t have happened to a dog.”

14.   “We must never let on that we know. It would break his poor heart.”

15.   “Now there she is, a full-grown lady wearing the greatest honor man can bestow, the badge of faith and respectability.”

16.   “As my grandpappy Ol’ Reliable used to say…don’t recollect if I’ve ever mentioned Ol’ Reliable before.”

17.   “You know, darling, with her here I’d say life is quite complete.”

18.   “I don’t imagine anything could ever take her place in our hearts.”

19.   “Hiya, handsome. Come to join the party?”

20.   “No time for wisecracks. I’ve gotta get out.”

21.   “I’m tellin’ ya, the pressure’s really hot. Signs all over town.”

22.   “I’ll bet they’ve got a lid on every trashcan and a fence around every tree.”

23.   “I wonder what the leash and collar set does for excitement.”

24.   “Well, I just can’t help worrying. After all, in your condition, alone here all day…”

25.   “Remember, they’re only humans after all.”

26.   “There comes a time in the life of all humans when…uh well as they put it…the birds and the bees.”

27.   “She’s expecting a wee bairn.”

28.   “They remember humans, but I’d say a mite smaller.”

29.   “Home-wreckers, that’s what they are.”

30.   “Look here! Who are you to barge in?”

31.   “No human is that cruel.”

32.   “Everybody knows a dogs best friend is his human.”

33.   “You haven’t fallen for that old line, now have you?”

34.   “We’ve no need for mongrels and their radical ideas.”

35.   “A human heart has only so much room for love and affection.”

36.   “When a baby moves in, the dog moves out.”

37.   “There isn’t any way we can tell for sure what it’s going to be, is there?”

38.   “I’ve never seen you look more beautiful.”

39.   “I just can’t leave him. He’s still so small and helpless.”

40.   “Come on. If he wakes up, we’ll never get away.”

41.   “I feel so guilty deserting him like this.”

42.   “Don’t worry, old girl. We’ll be back in a few days.”

43.   “Oh that wicked animal! Attacking my poor, innocent angels!”

44.   “I want a muzzle. A good, strong muzzle.”

45.   “What are you doing on this side of the tracks?”

46.   “That’s the angle.”

47.   “I beg your pardon. Were you addressing me?”

48.   “You’ll be tellin’ me next it was the dog that was whistlin’, eh?”

49.   “Pull a knife on me, will ya! Tryin’ to assassinate me, are ya!”

50.   “No, no, no. No use even asking them. They wouldn’t understand.”

51.   “If anybody ever needed a muzzle, it’s him.”

52.   “That’s what makes of tying yourself down to one family.”

53.   “Haven’t you a family?”

54.   “When you’re footloose and fancy free, you take nothing but the best.”

55.   “This way. I have my own private entrance.”

56.   “It’s morning. I should’ve been home hours ago.”

57.   “You still believe in that ever faithful old dog trey routine?”

58.   “Open up your eyes to what a dogs life can truly be.”

59.   “There’s a great bit hunk of world down there with no fence around it, where two dogs can find adventure and excitement, and beyond those distant hills? Who knows what wonderful experiences.”

60.   “It’s all ours for the taking.”

61.   “It’s all ours? It sounds wonderful.”

62.   “But who’d watch over the baby?”

63.   “Not to change the subject, but uh, ever chase chickens?”

64.   “Come on, kid. Start building some memories.”

65.   “Blimey! A regular bloomin’ debutante!”

66.   “Pipe the crown jewels she’s wearin’.”

67.   “We was only havin’ a bit of sport, we was.”

68.   “Can’t you see the poor kids scared enough?”

69.   “Miserable being must find more miserable being.”

70.   “That’s your passport to freedom, honey.”

71.   “Now there’s a bloke who never gets caught.”

72.   “No matter how tight a jam he’s in, that tramp always finds some way out.”

73.   “He has an ever for a well-turned paw.”

74.   “He never takes ‘em serious.”

75.   “The poor champ grows careless.”

76.   “You’re too nice a girl to be in this place.”

77.   “I’ve never even considered matrimony.”

78.   “No matter which of us she accepts, we’ll always be the best of friends.”

79.   “Remember, not a word about her unfortunate experience.”

80.   “Some of the finest people I ever tracked down were jail birds.”

81.   “Neither of us is as young as we used to be.”

82.   “Anything new in the kennel club set?”

83.   “Looks like I’m the one in the doghouse.”

84.   “If this person is annoying you, we’ll gladly throw the rascal out.”

85.   “I thought you were right behind me! Honest!”

86.   “Don’t ever mention that horrible place!”

87.   “Who would ever harm a cute little trick like you?”

88.   “I don’t need you to shelter and protect me.”

89.   “If you grow careless, don’t blame me.”

90.   “Couldn’t sleep a wink with that brute in the house.”

91.   “If you want my advice, you’ll destroy that animal at once.”

92.   “I was certain he was no good the moment I first laid eyes on him.”

93.   “The scent. Follow the scent.”

94.   “If you’ll just step into the parlor, I’ll see about refreshments.”

95.   “No doubt about it. They’ve got their mothers eyes.”

96.   “There is a bit of their father in ‘em.”

97.   “There’ll be no living with him from now on.”

98.   “You know, I clean forgot what it was he used to say.”

[bee-kathony]

The Oath | Ch. 24 “All I Want For Christmas” 

a/n: I hope you don’t mind a Christmas chapter in July! This chapter is a wee break from all that legal business so I hope you enjoy! As always thank you to @lcbeauchampoftarth for being a wonderful beta <3 nsfw near the end 

Arc I | Ch. 16 | Ch. 17 | Ch. 18 | Ch. 19 | Ch. 20 | Ch. 21 | Ch. 22 | Ch. 23

December 25th, 2019

Lallybroch was lit up beautifully, just as Jamie said it would be. Christmas lights hung on every window, on the tree, and along the roof, making the house shine. Claire always thought it looked like a house from a fairytale, and now it really was.

They arrived yesterday afternoon, just in time to settle inside before a fresh snow started to fall. This would be their first Christmas together as a family, and although Madeline was still too small to remember it in the future, Claire wanted it to be perfect.

It was a tradition in the Fraser household, as it was likely in most homes, to read ’Twas The Night Before Christmas before everyone went to bed on Christmas Eve. They all sat in the living room: Jenny, Ian, and their three children; and Jamie near the fire, with Madeline cradled on his lap.

“’Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house not a creature was stirring,” Jamie said in his thick Scottish accent. “Not even a mouse; the stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that St. Nicholas would soon be there…”

His voice was almost hypnotic. The soothing hum of his deep voice and the warm fire were a balm to Claire’s heart. It had fractured a bit, with everything going on in the past month. All she wanted was for her life to settle down so she could enjoy it. Time was already moving faster than she would like, and there simply wasn’t enough of it.

Surprisingly, all the Murray children sat quietly, with only a few wiggles from the littlest one as Jamie read. They loved their uncle, and seeing the way Jamie captured their attention almost made Claire want those eleven other children he was talking about — almost.

A plate of decorated sugar cookies and a tall glass of milk were both set out on the table and the kids eyed it suspiciously as they walked upstairs to bed. Growing up, Claire had never believed in Santa Claus. Her parents had told her the story of him when she was young, but for some reason the idea of a big, jolly, fat man climbing down the chimney never made any sense to her. So it was rather sweet for Claire to see the excitement radiating off the children as they said good night on that Christmas Eve.

It wasn’t much longer before the rest of the adults fell into their own beds, exhausted from hours of keeping the children entertained. Madeline was sleeping in one of the Murray children’s old cribs in Claire and Jamie’s room. Taking one last look at her, Claire smiled before climbing into bed next to Jamie.

He slid his arm around her, and pulled her close. Claire laid her head against his chest, taking in the warm, musky smell of him.

“I’m very excited for tomorrow,” she said.

“Aye, so am I, mo ghraidh. I can’t wait to give ye yer present.” He squeezed her shoulder. “Well, tis Madeline’s present, but also yers, seein’ how she canna exactly appreciate it just now.”

“Oh really?” Claire looked up at him. “What sort of present?”

“Och, yer really tryin’ to get me to spill a secret I’ve kept for months only hours before Christmas Day?” he laughed and pressed his thumb against her chin.

“Worth a shot,” Claire pinched his stomach lightly with her fingers. “I know Madeline won’t really have memories from her first Christmas, but we will, and I want it to be perfect.”

“It will be, Sassenach.” Jamie kissed the top of her head. “Tis wild to think about how I felt this time last year compared to now.”

“Hmm,” Claire hummed, feeling sleep weigh on her eyelids. “And how did you feel last year?”

He hadn’t really thought about it until just now, but last year Jamie had been anxious about the opening of the business, considering it was something he never thought he would own one day.

“Ye ken my father passed last year, in February.”

“Yes, I remember you told me a bit on the first night we met,” Claire said.

“It’s crazy to even think it’s been almost two years since that happened,” Jamie sighed. “I struggled a lot with his death, and it only got harder when the launch of the company was approaching.”

“Let’s just say that this time last year, my Christmas was spent nursing a bottle of our finest whisky,” Jamie laughed softly. “I hadn’t written a word since before he died, and the thought of opening the distillery without him,” his throat tightened. “I didn’t want to do it, still can’t believe I’ve done it sometimes.”

“But just think.” Claire ran her fingers lightly through the wiry copper hairs on his chest. “If you hadn’t launched the company, we might never have met.”

“Och, nah, Sassenach,” Jamie grinned and tilted Claire’s chin up to look at him. “Meetin’ ye was always goin’ to happen. I dinna ken if ye believe in fate, but I do. I was always meant to meet ye, Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp. To love you.”

Claire’s hand cupped his cheek and she pressed her lips lightly against his. “If you believe in fate, then I do too, James Fraser.”

Jamie kissed her again, this time sliding under the covers and laying on his side to face her. His hand found its way into her curls and he held her close against his body. “All that to say, Sassenach, this Christmas is a happier one for me.”

“I’m glad I could play a small part in that,” Claire said softly.

“Ye played all the parts,” Jamie smiled. “The lead part, the background characters — hell, even the wee tree, Claire. Ye’ve made all the difference in my life. Ye’ve made me confident and brave to do the things I never wanted. And because of ye, ye’ve made me a Da and soon a husband. I can’t thank ye enough for it.”

“Oh, Jamie,” Claire’s voice hitched in her throat as she felt tears in her eyes. “This time last year, I was stuck in a loveless relationship with a man that was cheating on me. If there’s anyone that needs thanking, it’s you.”

“This is the first of many Christmases, mo nighean donn, and I plan on spendin’ every one of them wi’ ye.” Jamie kissed her. “That is, if ye’ll have me.”

“I’ll have you for every holiday from here on out,” Claire smiled against his lips.

“Ye ken that I want ye,” Jamie slid his hand down to her waist. “But, wi’ Mads sleepin’ soundly two feet away, I wouldna feel right.”

Claire pressed her hips against him, feeling the evidence of how badly he wanted her, but he was right. Any sounds they made could wake her, and it also felt wrong to have sex next to an innocent baby, even if she would never remember it later on in life.

“You’re probably right,” Claire sighed, her thumb pressing against Jamie’s bottom lip. “We’ll just have to find a moment tomorrow.”

“Ye can count on me findin’ many moments to get ye alone tomorrow,” Jamie nearly growled and kissed her, turning Claire in his arms until her back was against his chest. She fit perfectly against him, and he could feel her heartbeat hammering away. Sometimes, he thought he might break her wi’ how tightly he held her; afraid that if he didn’t hang on to her, she would disappear.

Placing a kiss to the back of her neck, Jamie said goodnight; and when the only response he received was a light snore from Claire, he laughed and shut his eyes on that snowy Christmas Eve.

++++++

Claire woke to the sound of children’s feet running down the hall. It was Christmas morning. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness before rolling over to face the clock: 7 a.m. Not as early as she had predicted the night before.

Surprisingly, Jamie was still in bed — and asleep. Usually, he woke before her, either to go to the gym or go into the office early. Claire rolled onto her stomach and watched him. He had one arm above his head, and the other laying flat on his stomach. Reaching over, Claire plugged his nose with two fingers and he woke with a start.

“Mhac na galla!” he yelped as he sat up in bed, and Claire’s hand flew back. Searching for the culprit of his rude awakening, Jamie’s eyes landed on Claire, who had buried her head into the pillow, pretending to be asleep.

“Sassenach,” he rubbed her back. “Did ye try and kill me in my sleep?”

Claire shook her head, then rolled onto her side laughing. “I was just trying to wake you up, not restart your heart.”

“Next time,” he leaned over her, “ye can wake me wi’ a kiss, although that still takes my breath away.” Jamie pressed his lips against hers, not caring about morning breath, and slid his hand along her hip.

“That is the cheesiest thing I have ever heard, James Fraser,” she snorted. “The kids are already up, their excited shouts of glee woke me up, so we’d better join them.”

“Aye, suppose we should,” Jamie sighed and flopped onto his back. “I have to get my kilt on… tis Christmas.”

Perking up at the word “kilt”, Claire nearly suffocated Jamie as she climbed on top of him, her hands resting on his chest. “Your… kilt?”

“Aye, I told ye that I would wear it today, so if ye’d please get off my chest, I’ll put it on for ye.” Jamie put his hands on her hips and helped to lift her off.

“Can I watch you?” Claire moved to sit on her legs, observingJamie as he pulled out his bright red Fraser tartan kilt from the chest of drawers.

“Nah, maybe another time, because I want to see your reaction for the big reveal,” he smirked. “Go join the others downstairs, it won’t take long.”

Claire pouted her bottom lip, which prompted Jamie to come over and kiss her. “You can help me take it off later, does that sound like a good compromise?”

“Oh yes,” she nearly purred and then snatched up her favorite sweater in the armchair and slid it on. Claire gathered Madeline into her arms before descending the stairs to join the rest of the Murray clan.

The children were all sitting around the tree, sorting the presents into neat little piles. Jenny and Ian both stumbled in from the kitchen, carrying a tray of coffee and cinnamon rolls.

“Merry Christmas,” Claire smiled and sniffed at the air, the delicious smells making her stomach rumble.

“Merry Christmas, Claire.” Jenny kissed her on the cheek before sitting down next to Ian. “Help yerself to the rolls and coffee. Tis a tradition to bake them every Christmas morning.”

“Your own recipe?”

“My Da’s, actually,” Jenny pulled her legs up under her. “Mam was usually the cook, but Da always made these.”

“I can’t wait to try one,” Claire grinned and reached for one, just at the same time she heard footsteps on the stairs. Looking up, she saw him — her Highlander. A string of obscenities ran through her head, but thankfully the only thing that came out of her mouth was, “Oh my God.”

“Have ye never seen him in a kilt?” Ian asked her, trying to hold back a laugh.

“No,” Claire shook her head, her eyes locked onto her tall red-haired Scot. He looked so dashing in his kilt and cream-colored sweater. He wasn’t wearing shoes, just tall black socks. His gaze lingered on Claire, and after the final step, he did a small spin for her, holding his arms out to the side.

“So?”

“Please wear that every single day.” Claire reached out her hand to him. As he sat down next to them, Madeline attempted to crawl into his lap. “It seems I’m not the only girl who approves of the new look.”

“Does Mads think Daddy is handsome?” Jamie said to her, picking her up and kissing her cheek. “And what about Mummy?”

Claire leaned over and kissed his cheek, then whispered into his ear so that only he heard, “That kilt is making me very… wet.”

His cheeks instantly turned pink, and he started coughing as Claire placed her hand on his knee. “Good to hear,” he smirked.

“Enough wi’ the compliments,” Jenny said. “I’m sure the bairns willna wait another minute to open presents.”

They let the children go first, one by one, opening their presents to see what Santa had sent them. Claire never had a big family — no siblings or cousins to spend holidays with. It was heartwarming to be in the room with a cozy fire, a big tree, and joyful children.

Jenny and Ian exchanged their presents next. Claire leaned against Jamie, tucked underneath his arm, and let Madeline play with her hand, sucking lightly on one finger.

“Okay, Sassenach, yer turn,” Jamie looked over at her. She had three presents next to her, two from Jamie and one from Ian and Jenny.

“Which one should I open first?” She ran her eyes over the presents.

“The green one!” Maggie shouted. “That’s from Mam and Da! We helped too!”

“The green one it is then,” Claire smiled and reached for it beside her. She unwrapped to find a beautiful dark green knit scarf with a matching hat and gloves. “Oh, these are so beautiful.”

“I knitted them all,” Jenny said proudly, cradling Kitty in her arms. “The kids helped by staying out of my way long enough so I could.”

“Thank you, Jenny. It’s all perfect! I didn’t even bring a scarf and hat up here!” She folded the scarf on her lap.

The next gift she opened was from Jamie, and she grinned up at him as she ran her hand over the wrapping. Jamie sat beside Claire, nervously watching her unwrap the present. He’d worked so hard on it the past few months, and hoped that she would like it. Finally the last piece of tape was torn off and the book was revealed.

“I Promise To…” by Jamie Fraser.

“Tis not exactly finished, but this is a rough look at what the final product will be,” Jamie said as Claire ran her fingers over the cover. She opened it up and on the first page there was a dedication.

“To my girls, the loves of my life. My Sassenach and my wee lass, I promise to always love you,” Claire read aloud, and looked up at Jamie with tears in her eyes. “Oh, Jamie, you wrote this for us?”

“Aye, I started writing it shortly after we bumped into each other again.” Jamie shifted Madeline on his lap. “Take a look,” he smiled.

Claire flipped past the first page and her face lit up. It was surreal for Jamie to finally see a physical copy of the book, even if it wasn’t quite finished. It was simple, something for parents to read to their children, but it expressed what he felt for his family better than his own words could.

“Who drew these pictures?” Claire asked as she looked through the pages.

His cheeks reddened as Jamie admitted that he had done them himself. “The words were the easy part, the wee drawings… no’ so much.”

“Well, let me see!” Jenny rose from the couch and came to peer over Claire’s shoulder. “It’s not too bad, brother. Yer certainly no Van Gogh, but it has a certain — rugged quality.”

“Rugged?” Jamie asked. “I dinna think that was exactly what I was going for, but thank ye, Janet.”

“It’s wonderful, Jamie.” Claire couldn’t take her eyes away from the book. It meant so much to her that Jamie had taken up writing again and had put all this work into something for her and their daughter. “Is this why you wouldn’t show me what you were writing?”

“Aye,” Jamie bounced a gurgling Madeline on his knee. “I would jot down wee sayings every now and then, but I wanted to keep it a surprise.”

“Well, you surprised me alright,” Claire sniffed and wiped at her eyes. “It’s the best present that I’ve ever received, thank you so much.”

Jamie leaned in and kissed her to the loud “ew’s” and “yucks” of the young children in the room, which motivated him to kiss her even harder. Claire laughed against his mouth and when she pulled back, she pressed her thumb against his mouth.

“Well, my gift is book-related too,” Claire grinned. “Jenny, could you pass me that blue wrapped one just there?” she pointed under the tree.

“Here ya go,” Jenny handed the rectangle-sized wrapped gift to Claire, who handed it to Jamie.

“I’ll take the little miss.” Claire picked up Madeline and rocked her slowly in her arms.

“Hmmm, book-related, ye say?” Jamie raised a brow at her and shook the present gently against his ear. He peeled off the wrapping paper and gasped when he saw what was inside.

“Sassenach, ye didn’t….”

“Yes,” Claire beamed. “I did!”

“Well, tell us what it is, mate,” Ian craned his neck to try and see what it was.

“Ah Dhia, Claire,” Jamie looked from the gift up to Claire, his heart overflowing with such love. “She got me a first edition of The Lord of the Rings trilogy.”

“It took me so long to find the right one,” Claire said. “After you leant me the second book, I looked up to see how much a signed copy would cost and, well...” her eyes widened.

“This must have been expensive, Sassenach. Christ, it’s too much,” Jamie ran his hand over the white cover, with one of the first illustrations ever drawn for the book.

“Jamie read those books more times than I can count,” Jenny said. “I feel like every time I saw him, he had one of those books in his hands. Couldn’t get his attention, even if yer hair was on fire!”

“I love it, a nighean,” Jamie leaned in and kissed her cheek. “This is the most thoughtful gift, too much.” He squinted his eyes at her. “But it’s incredible, thank you.”

“You’re welcome, my love,” Claire grinned, pleased that he loved the gift. She had contemplated for weeks on what to get him, still not entirely sure because there was so much she didn’t know about him yet. They learned new things about each other every day.

“Well, those are all the presents. It’ll be a few hours before lunch is sorted,” Jenny said. “Kids, go and play wi’ yer new toys, but stay inside, ye hear?”

“Do you need any help with lunch, Jenny?” Claire asked, taking back Madeline from Jamie.

“Perhaps in an hour or so? It’s still way too early to start doing much of anything,” she sighed.

“I’ll come and find ye when I need ye.”

Jamie stood up and helped to clean up the wrapping paper left behind from the kids. He gathered up his and Claire’s presents and started walking upstairs, with Claire and Madeline behind him.

“Do you think we should have gotten Madeline something more for Christmas?” Claire asked him.

“Och, she’s only three months old, Sassenach. We got her things she willna remember but we'll have use for them,” he chuckled. “Next year, she’ll be a bit more aware of what’s going on.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Claire said as she took a seat in the rocking chair in the corner of their room.

“Are ye goin’ to feed her now?”

“Yes,” she replied, already adjusting her top and cradling Madeline close to her body. “Then I’ll put her down for a nap.”

“When ye’ve done that,” Jamie laid the books down on the bed, “come and find me in the library.”

“I think I can do that,” Claire smiled softly and then bowed her head and began nursing her daughter.

She knew that this Christmas was mostly for them to remember with Madeline, seeing as how she didn’t have the faintest idea of what was going on. Her own earliest memories started sometime when she was around three years old. She was in the car with her parents, and they had the windows down. If she thought hard enough, she could feel the breeze on her skin and the sound of the birds as they drove through town. It was a vague first memory, but it was still her first.

“What will your first memory be, little miss?” Claire cupped her head.

It wasn’t much longer before Madeline was well fed and falling fast asleep as Claire laid her down in the crib. Jamie said to meet him in the library, so that’s exactly what she planned on doing.

He had lit the fire, making the room cozy and inviting. He also brought up two cups of coffee and more cinnamon rolls.

“It smells like absolute heaven in here,” Claire smiled as she came to sit beside Jamie.

“These cinnamon rolls are one of my favorite parts about Christmas,” Jamie said, chewing on a bite of his. “My Da taught me how to make them one year. I suppose I could make them anytime I wanted.”

“But they’re special because they’re only for once a year,” Claire said. “And you can remember your father when you eat them.”

“Aye, that’s true.”

They relaxed back into the sofa, warming up with their coffee. Claire could have fallen right back asleep as she laid her head against Jamie’s shoulder, but he abruptly stood up and crossed the room.

“Alright, Sassenach,” he cleared his throat. “Ye said ye’d help me take this off.” He pointed down at his kilt, and Claire’s belly immediately tightened. In fact, she had nearly forgotten all about that promise.

“But won’t you have to put it back on for lunch?” She bit her lip as she rose from the sofa.

“It’s so hot in here, a nighean,” his hands were on the waistband of the kilt. “I’ll die if ye dinna take it off.”

“Begging now?” She couldn’t help but laugh. They were right back where it all started, the library where their daughter was conceived. Flashes of that evening flitted across her mind — her body pressed against the shelves, Jamie’s hands holding her up.

She stalked forward, her eyes never leaving his, and she finally placed both hands on his belt. Working her right hand on the belt, she slid her left hand to cup his bulge underneath the thick fabric. “Oooo, a true Scotsman?”

“Aye, what did ye expect?” he smirked, and she wanted to push him down to the floor right then and there. Instead, she bent her head and continued to unlatch the belt, finally letting it drop.

“Do you remember what we did in here? Nearly a year ago?” She kept her left hand on his cock, palming it. Jamie groaned, his eyes fluttering as he tried to keep focused.

“How could I forget, Sassenach?” Jamie slid his hands down to her hips then back up, this time inside her sweater and helped to lift it off her. “I thought about that night almost every day for months.”

“You did?” she asked huskily and lifted up his sweater as well, tossing it aside.

“I dreamed of ye,” he whispered. “Of your body against the books, ye crying out my name. I ached wi’ wantin’ to touch ye, Claire.”

About to combust on the spot, Claire wanted to savor this moment. She pressed her bare chest against his and tilted her head up to look at him. “Did you ever touch yourself and think of me?”

“Christ,” he muttered, and his hands moved on their own volition down to cup her arse, kneading the firm flesh. “A few times,” he admitted sheepishly.

“I did too.” She pressed a kiss to his chest, just where the auburn wiry hairs were. “I dreamed of you, of your hands touching me. I wanted you, Jamie…”

“Do ye want me now?” His eyes were searching her face, wanting to memorize the way she was looking at him.

“God yes,” she moaned and then closed the distance between them, crashing her mouth to his. Their hands worked in tandem to get rid of the barriers between them. Claire’s tights proved a bit more difficult to get off than they both wanted, and as Jamie started to take the kilt off, Claire stopped him.

“Keep it on,” she breathed heavily. “Please.”

“As ye say,” he chuckled. Claire slid her hands up along his thigh and pushed the material up around his abdomen. His cock jutted out and up, that one long delicious vein throbbing. If she wasn’t so wet and ready for him, she would have dropped to her knees, her head underneath his kilt. But Jamie was ready too, that much was obvious, and he grabbed one of her legs and hitched it up.

“I could do this a thousand times and never tire of bein’ inside ye,” he muttered against her lips.

“You say such ridiculous things,” she sighed and then moaned as he entered her. Bracing her hands against his chest, she clung to him as he lifted her other leg off the ground and began to bounce her on his cock. Thankfully, Jamie was strong and could hold her up. Their bodies were as close as they could get and Claire kissed him hungrily as he thrust upwards.

It was almost too much, the feeling of him at this angle. Her world spun and her back was pressed against the cold wood of the bookshelves. She laughed against his mouth — they were repeating history. Jamie dotted her cheeks and neck with kisses before sucking on the skin just above her breast. His hands held her hips steady as he pumped into her, filling her and opening her up. The kilt pressed against her stomach, scratchy but not unwelcome. The power of Jamie’s thrusts made the shelves shake behind them.

“Lay down,” Claire managed to get out. Jamie reluctantly removed his mouth from her chest long enough to lay back down on the floor near the fire. They were both reaching the point of being completely spent, their bodies coated in a fine layer of sweat.

Reaching her hands down, Claire anchored herself on Jamie and then started to grind her hips in a figure eight movement.

“Jesus,” he muttered and shut his eyes tightly. He moved his hand to rest at the place of their joining, his fingers circling on that little bundle of nerves that made Claire squeak. Her breath became shallow and her body started to jerk above him.

“I’ve got ye, a nighean,” he groaned and watched as she fell apart; and seconds later, Jamie came, his back arching off the floor. Claire fell onto his chest, pressing her clammy cheek against him.

His hands came to rest on her back, softly stroking as they both came down from their high of love making. “I don’t want to move,” he said quietly.

“We could stay like this for a thousand years,” Claire replied.

“And it still wouldn’t be long enough,” Jamie said and pushed her curly hair off of her forehead. She turned her face and rested her chin on his chest. “Merry Christmas, Sassenach.”

“Merry Christmas, Jamie,” she grinned.

Chapter 25: A Meeting

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching Good Omens (ALL OF IT)

my favourite novel is now my favourite mini-series and IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL

under the cut: a very long, spoilery six-episode reaction to MY NEW FAVOURITE THING EVER

--

may 31st 07:36pm nz

i posted my episode 1 reaction a couple hours ago but that got ZERO NOTES so i assume people are either avoiding spoilers or aren’t interested, which is fine, but i’m just gonna put all my reactions in one big post so anyone who IS interested doesn’t have to read 6 separate posts c:

edit june 1st 04:08am: btw i watched using a free trial on amazon prime, which i’m pretty sure is worldwide. soooo if yOU WANT TO WATCH THIS, YOU CAN, FOR FREE

--

EPISODE 1: In the Beginning

--

04:03pm

idk how much i’m gonna type, whether i’ll post a reaction to the entire thing in one post....... or how much i’ll end up watching right now

kinda want to spread it out and save it as a treat for after i’ve done some writing

but right now i wanna watch before writing

so maybe i’ll do one ep, write something, then return to this?

edit: aahhaha that didn’t happen

-

04:04pm

I’M SO EXCITED

I’VE BEEN WAITING SO LONG

well... since 2011 when i first read the book

but regardless it’S BEEN 84 YEARS

-

04:05

okay first off i did not know amazon prime did adverts at the start of their videos. so i was like SINCE WHEN WAS CHILDISH GAMBINO/DONALD GLOVER IN GOOD OMENS

and then

yeah

no

either way i thought it was a good opening

-

W A R

NING

cool cool cool cool cool

-

omg i’m used to where the netflix full-screen button is, and on amazon prime that’s the “next episode” button so i gotta be real careful

-

dear god my video quality is TERRIBLE

i.......... i might torrent this show and watch it offline

this is horrendous i can’t see a damn thing

i have never seen pixels this big

-

04:11

okay the quality calmed down after a minute

i loooove the intro, i love that it’s basically word for word from the book

i feel like i’d find it funnier if i hadn’t read the book 3 months ago

-

also? god is a woman? yes

-

04:13

is it just me or does the snek have a slightly david tennant-esque quality about it

-

i’m so happy adam and eve are black

-

04:17

omfg. aziraphale said “ineffable” and now CRAWLEY’S CHECKING HIM OUT TRYING TO SEE IF HE HAS ANY JUNK

WOW

...or y’know, looking for a flaming sword. SAME FUCKING THING.

-

also i looove how FLUFFY azi is

-

azi: “do hope i didn’t do the wrong thing”

i fucking love them both uhrgughhhuhuhughuhhh

-

04:21

small sob for cuteness

umbella wings

-

04:23

in the opening titles, crowley just stopped a spaceship and aziraphale turned it into fish

i feel like that was a douglas adams reference and i’m on board

-

04:25

the entire time i read the book, up until i saw video promos of this show, i thought “crowley” was said the same way as spn’s “crowley”, as in “crahwlee”

not “crOhwlee”

i definitely like that they’re different though

both probably named after aleister crowley tbh. all of whom are queer.

-

THOSE SWAYING HIPS

i haven’t found david tennant attractive in about 9 years but WHOOOP HELLO AGAIN

somehow attractive for entirely different reasons than before. like. my taste changed but tHEN

-

i’m on crowley’s side, taking down a cellphone network is VERY ANNOYING

-

04:35

crowley: shitshitshitshithsit

:D

i can’t wait for aziraphale’s big swear

-

04:37

i miss eating sushi

sushi was great

-

04:43

this baby delivery thing is sTRESSFUL

“aaaaurthurrrrr”

nooo

poor lady

-

04:45

“little toesie woesies”

where’s the sister mary loquacious fan club and where do i sign up

-

i’m glad they colour-coded the babies and did the playing card explanation because this part of the book always tied my brain in knots

-

05:00

this is reminding me how utterly gross england is

-

“MY POINT IS............. DOLPHINS”

YES

-

05:06

see in the book

i never once realised that the nanny was crowley in disguise

-

05:11

digging the snake tattoo sideburns

-

05:14

and yeah the short hair looks good

-

05:15

fINALLY crowley called azi “angel”

-

05:17

crowley: “oh no no don’t do your magic act, pleeease”

the magic act scene is one of my fave parts of the book <3

-

05:20

aw man they cut out the best part

i mean i get why

the kids shouted a bunch of gay slurs at aziraphale

and there were no secret service people with guns

but aw mannn

AND THEY CUT OUT THE BIT WITH THE DEAD DOVE AND CROWLEY BRINGS IT BACK TO LIFE FOR AZIRAPHALE

THAT WAS MY SINGLE FAVOURITE BIT OF THE BOOK

AND IT’S GONE

;C

-

OH WAIT

THERE’S THE DOVE

OH GOOD

-

aw man aziraphhale just brought it back himself

i liked it better in the book

they sat on the steps outside and crowley comforted azi and took the dove and fixed it for him, and then it flew off

idk i just had such a perfect image of that moment in my mind and this was..... good but not the same at all

could be gayer

-

05:27

good dog

-

05:28

crowley: *snifsnif* something’s changed

aziraphale: “oh it’s a new cologne, my barber suggeste--”

crowley: “no no i know what you smell like”

gayyyyyyyyyy <3

-

05:31

okay that’s ep 1 watched!!! i’ll watch more maybe later tonight :D

ENJOYING THIS SO FAR

not as gay as expected ........YET

needs 400% more “angel” and “dear”

--

EPISODE 2: The Book

07:42pm

pillar of salt guy: “something smells evil”

the fact crowley smells evil and yet aziraphale likes his company regardless says a lot

-

07:49

fully expected crowley to say “i didn’t fall, i sauntered vaguely downwards”

-

07:50

iiiii’m finding the narrator a little annoying

maybe it’s because i read the book so i know what’s going on

but saying “he has four items to deliver in his van. he works for this postage company and he’s making his first delivery in a formal warzone”.... idk i feel like all of those things could be shown visually? saying it rather than showing it probably saved seven seconds of airtime, but damn

-

07:56

i wonder if the narrator was a later addition to this, for new audience clarity? the script for god just seems a little stilted, idk

edit: i kind of got used to it, but it was still jarring, which i’m sure was the opposite of the intended effect

-

08:09

the saddest newt

-

08:13

she’s kind of exactly how i imagined her in the book

and definitely my fave next to aziraphale and crowley

-

08:17

i feel so bad for crowley’s plants

poor babies

-

08:19

for some reason i imagined her as a redhead. kind of more like mrs weasley

-

08:33

these wee children......... so soft.......... so smol

-

08:25

v happy with the casting for pepper

tiny downside is that we lose another redhead

-

08:29

i find the kids’ conversations hilarious because they’re the same age as harry potter when he goes to hogwarts the first time

idk if this is what eleven year olds are like in real life, but when i read the book i did feel distinctly like they spoke like eight year olds

-

08:35

crowley: “i like spooky. big spooky fan, me”

he just sounds like the tenth doctor

-

08:36

YEEE FINALLY CROWLeY DOING NICE THINGS FOR AZIRAPHALE

-

08:48

"you know, crowley, i’ve always said that deep down you really are a--”

“SHUT IT”

DON’T YOU CALL HIM NICE YOU PRETTY BASTARD

-

loquacious: “sorry to break up an intimate moment”

-

08:45

i imagined anathema’s tripod thing to be about 5 feet tall, not a cute little knee-high thing

-

08:48

freddie mercury: BIIIII CYCLE

BIIIIIIII CYCLE

yeah i was waiting for that

-

crowley: “get in, angel”

HE MURMURED

DON’T MURMUR YOUR TERMS OF ENDEARMENT noo

-

09:00

end of episode 2!!! i freaking loved aziraphale vs the book <3

-

the credits for this ep credit konnie huq as someone named pam but idk who that is? i had a crush on konnie huq as a kid when she was a presenter on “blue peter”

OH WAIT RIGHT the lady on the breakfast show on crowley’s tv. aw such a small part. hoping we’ll see her again later

edit: nope. might rewatch that part to pay more attention. obviously i didn’t even recognise her after like.. 15 years

--

EPISODE 3: Hard Times

09:05pm

brb gotta get some food

-

09:14

and now i wait for food

EPISODE THREE LET’S GO

is this the one that’s just crowley and azi’s backstory?

-

09:16

i can’t even put my finger on why but he’s getting more attractive

-

09:21

ah yes

aziraphale is eating shellfish and trying to tempt crowley

“oh... that’s your job”

i love this part of their dynamic

-

09:29

i adore when crowley makes aziraphale smile <3

-

09:43

SAUNTERED VAGUELY DOWNWARDS

YEE

-

i like seeing how crowley’s sunglasses differ throughout history

-

09:36

“if they knew i’d been... fraternising”

this is such a forbidden romance i love ittttt

-

09:49

CROWLEY SAVED THE BOOKS

and SOFT VIOLIN PLAYS

THIS IS A FUCKING LOVE STORY

k this is my favourite part of the show so far <3

-

09:50

this angel just fell in love

right in that moment

i see cartoon hearts around him

-

09:54

just had to pause for a second bc there was some broccoli in my tea :c

-

09:56

awwwwwwwwwwwwww 

he got him holy waterrrrrrr

-

UNIVERSAL ANGLE OF HETEROSEXUAL LONGING

-

definitely feeling a lot of “NOW KISS” right about now

-

09:59

LAUGHING BECAUSE THE OPENING CREDITS ARE LITERALLY HALFWAY INTO THE EPISODE

-

10:03

throughout the entire book azi just came across as the kind of person who wore glasses even though glasses were never once mentioned

I AM GLAD TO SEE GLASSES

-

10:12

i like this colour palette and the gold in their makeup

-

10:27

“we can go off together”

omg the world’s ending and crowley’s all RUN AWAY WITH MEEE

-

10:31

okay then

good eyelashes

edit: i also like how their relationship was explained with a simple tap on the wrist: hurry up, you’re on the clock, i’m a sex worker, finish your call because i’m leaving

-

10:32

episode three DONE

these eps don’t feel long enough

maybe that means the pacing is just right? who knows

i feel like i should be doing something other than watching this but..... why

--

EPISODE 4: Saturday Morning Funtime

10:48pm

aziraphale is SOFT and he’s perfect like that <3

fuck u gabriel and your body shaming

-

10:53

i want delivery guy to be okay BUT I READ THE BOOK

so............... i know he will be...... eventually

-

10:55

how did they get photographs taken in the 1600s

-

oh gabriel’s eyes ARE purple, i thought i was seeing them wrong

-

11:02

“maud i love you”

noo ho hoooo

-

11:09

a little douglas adams, definitely

BUT NO PEPPER POT DALEK

AWW

-

11:10

the season is very much jumping between summer and autumn

though i suppose that’s the point, tadfield is just perfect

-

11:12

“which the internet has begun to refer to as the kracken”

i wonder if good omens inadvertently inspired me to write The Wireless a couple of years back. wouldn’t be surprising

edit: no, couldn’t have, because the internet wasn’t much of a thing (or a thing at all?) in the book, given its publish date

-

11:20

that’s a v nice dress/top combo

gosh she’s so pretty

-

11:30

crowley: “we can run away together!!! alpha centauri!!!”

aw baby

-

crowley: “i’m going home, angel! i’m getting my stuff, and i am leaving. and when i am up in the stars, i won’t even think about you!!”

THAT WAS A V SAD BREAKUP NOOOOO

why has there not been a single “dear” yet :c

-

11:37

oh no, this part

i loved this in the book but i am NOT READY for maggots

damn you gaiman

-

11:39

he’s so cute

and so gay

-

11:42

uriel: “don’t think your boyfriend in the dark glasses will get you special treatment in hell”

he looks kinda delighted uriel called crowley his boyfriend

i would say he looks worried but this shot was used without context in the trailer and it came across as genuine joy, i actually thought he was looking at crowley

-

11:46

i thought it was a strange throne before

a spider at the centre of a web

dark halo

yeah

-

11:51

oh now she’s a redhead???

-

also i’m glad they implied newt and anathema just kissed because the sex thing was weird in the book

-

okay never mind

hmm

-

12:05

aziraphale: “oh.................ffffUCK.”

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH

-

12:07

oh no

it’s happening

oh no

i hate this part but i love what happens because of it

-

12:29am

i have eaten and now i have tea and i am back from MORE BOOKSHOP FIRE

-

EPISODE 5: The Doomsday Option

12:31

nuuuuuuuuuu

and “you’re my best friend” playing while crowley’s tryna call azi

nuuuuuu

-

“somebody killed my best friend”

jfhsdfjsdj

/sobs

-

12:36

freddie mercury: “somebody find me somebody tooo ooo looove”

edit: the narration WRECKED this. it was so dramatic and visually emotional but the voiceover completely screwed with it and it was SO UNNECESSARY.

-

12:46

crowley: “i lost my best friend”

he says, while crying, while talking to that friend

-

THE ONE BOOK HE WANTS IS THE ONE CROWLEY SAVED

THEY’RE SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL TOGETHER

-

azi wanted to share crowley’s body

and then said they had to get a wiggle on

-

12:52

they cut out the hell’s angels / lesser horsemen

i figured they would, but still a shame

-

1:54

in the book tracy’s “spirit guide” was native american but daaaaaamn that part really needed to go

now she’s irish which is... better, probably

-

01:01

ron: “SHUT. UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP”

this guy’s having the time of his life

-

01:03

he wave

-

01:05

1926 bentley; sexiest car right next to the ‘67 chevy impala

-

01:08

omg gotta translate and explain the road

-

01:13

OH NO the maggots are about to happen

they changed the placement of this but it worked for the pacing

-

OH NO

-

k well the maggots were gross but not as bad as i imagined

-

01:31

omg the dog turned upside down rather than be picked up

i wonder if that was intentional

dog: I DO NOT WANT UP

-

01:34

pfff he’s reading “american gods” by neil gaiman

-

01:44am

10/10 flaming car

-

EPISODE 6: The Very Last Day of the Rest of Their Lives

01:51am

here we go...

-

01:55

azi so happy that crowley said the dress suits him <3

-

01:57

rip bentley

-

01:59

aziraphale: “we are here to lick some serious butt!!”

crowley: “kick!! kick, aziraphale, for heaven’s sake”

-

02:06

i freaking love the parallel between the Them and the horsemen in the book

and i love that they did face shots to show the parallel

pepper = war

wensleydale = famine

brian = pollution

adam = death

the parallel is less clear for brian and wensleydale, at least in the show. was more obvious in the book. but at the same time i kind of got confused between them a lot, brian was always eating, but wensleydale was named after cheese

-

02:14

pepper: “i do not endorse everyday sexism”

/STOMPS ON WAR’S FOOT

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

-

02:25

shadwell: “anyone who wants ta get ta the hoore of babylon will have to get past me”

earlier anathema said “boyfriend”

may i point out that all the adults are paired up

shadwell & madame tracy

newt & anathema

......and....

aziraphale and crowley

-

0:28

crowley: “we are FUCKED”

these two need a holiday

-

azi: “come up with something... or.... or i’ll never talk to you again”

he knows crowley loves him aww

perfect blackmail material

-

02:32

they went from trying to kill him to being his gay angel parents real quick

-

02:35

thought they were holding hands for a second there

edit: regardless, a whole damn airfield and they’re 2cm apart

-

02:39

happy ending for the postman, hooray~

-

crowley about the bookshop, softly: “it burned down. remember? you can stay at my place”

awwWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

-

02:42

CROWLEY GOT HIS CAR BACK AND YET HE TOOK A TAXI

-

02:45

anathema: “why is your car called dick turpin?”

newt: “dick turpin is a famous highwayman. it’s called dick turpin because everywhere it goes, it holds up traffic”

i laughed

this wasn’t in the book and i always wondered

-

02:51

i wonder if holy water wouldn’t burn him because he’s too good

-

03:00

gabriel: “don’t talk to me about the greater good, sunshine, i’m the angel fucking gabriel”

really enjoying these swears

-

03:03

i thought so

-

03:30am

paused for a bit to get ready for bed

i thought it was after 4am but nope

-

“there would be other summers, but not one like this. not ever again”

that genuinely makes me emotional

i think that’s why it’s my favourite book, i can relive that summer with them

-

03:35

omg

-

OH MY GOD

WAIT

THEY

OH MY GOD

THEY WEREN’T IMMUNE, THEY JUST SWAPPED PLACES

HOLY SHIT

edit: THIS WAS NOT IN THE BOOK AND IT’S BRILLIANT AND I’M GLAD IT’S HERE

-

crowley: “let me tempt you to a spot of lunch?

azi: “~temptation accomplished~!”

THEY’RE SO STINKING CUTE

-

“just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing”

perfect

STILL NO USE OF “DEAR” THOUGH AND IT’S KILLING ME

-

that ending with the bird made me teary-eyed

-

credits: BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH AS SATAN

WOW

OKAY

AKSFJDSF /snorts

-

the end credits and the song i just wanna bawl my eyes out

i loved this so much and i’m so glad it was GOOD

i loved that they added so many people of colour. in the book i imagined crowley played by alexander siddig (star trek: deep space 9 era) but i guess david tennant makes a pretty good crowley too

i’m trying not to be upset that my favourite scene with the dove and aziraphale’s affectionate use of “dear” was taken out

but 

this was damn good regardless. even gayer in places than in the book

-

this nightingale song is my new favourite song

i never got the reference before

“and as we kissed and said goodnight, an nightingale sang in berkeley square:

GAY

SO GAY

i love

-

the end of the credits “For Terry”

ACTUAL OUT LOUD SOBBING

TERRY YOU WOULD’VE LOVED THIS

NEIL DID YOU PROUD

-

oh this was so beautiful

i’m gonna watch it again with my family probably within the week. i’m so emotionally tender now

azIRAPHALE WAS SO FLUFFY AND CROWLEY WAS SO NICE ABOUT THE BOOKS

ugh i love them more than ever

anathema...... i don’t know if i relate to her, want to be her, look up to her, want her to mentor me, live with her, or find her attractive. maybe all of the above. but she was freaking PERFECT. PE R F E CT 

the casting was so... just right. thank you casting people for anathema.

like... i also didn’t mind the newt/anathema thing so much now. it was hard to tell in the book how much of a relationship they had after, but that smile she gave while lying in bed the morning after, that worked, it said a lot. and i like that it was her choice to burn the prophecy sequel rather than newt’s suggestion

gabriel was amusing. like.. i’m glad he wasn’t in the book. but he was great here. also really like michael and uriel. uriel was so damn beautiful.

i also would really have liked to see a mention of the fact crowley and aziraphale are both agender and potentially asexual. not even a hint of it here. buuuuuut it guess i know from the book. so.

my favourite episode was of course episode 3 with crowley and aziraphale’s 6000 year backstory. especially the 1940s bit where crowley saved the books <3

this show was was less confusing than the book too. ugh it was done so well

OH

we didn’t see where the soldier guy went when aziraphale zapped him away!!! in the book he reappeared safely back home and went out to see his family. to be fair i don’t know whether he died and went to heaven, but it was a nice thing to happen

and they took out the Them’s bully/rival gang, who was led by the third baby from the baby swap, and who won awards for his tropical fish. at least that’s what i remember. which meant the parallel about heaven/hell being rival gangs was lost here. but the parallel between the horsemen and the them was stronger than ever and i loved that.

look, i mean, 10 out of 10, EASY.

favourite thing? yes. yes, absolutely.

--

shoutout to the one time i wrote a Good Omens/Destiel crossover fic The Angel Cake Challenge

IT’S 04:02am THIS TOOK ME 12 HOURS

04:40am AND FORTY MINUTES TO EDIT

congrats if you made it to the end of this!!! thank you for reading <3 AND GO WATCH THE SHOW IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY

[bcdiemcnt]

harry styles !  |    look at the credits to find bodie montgomery ( he/him ) ! the twenty five year old camera operator is known for their work on the hit show: ftlog. their fellow crew members see them as being dependable and humorous, however they are actually very blunt and cynical. seeing them always reminds me of countless empty cup of noodles, a queue of buzzfeed unsolved autoplaying on youtube, sleeping til 4pm & staying up til 6am. 

hello everyone !! it’s caro here back with another annoying boy. i also play my big dummy percy, but i really wanted to bring someone not famous into the mix. this is my smol bean bodie!! just so you know under the cut is a tw for cancer, & mentions of death

my little camera man bodie – also goes by bo or bode, around set a lot of crew members call him by a shorter form of his last name, monty

growing up was quite uneventful in the best of ways. bodie had a pretty pleasant childhood. loving parents and a relatively healthy, happy family. his father is a big hollywood plastic surgeon and mother an architect. they are both extremely hard working and made it a priority to teach him the importance of discipline and responsibility at a young age. they set their expectations for the boy high.

often in his teen years he took care of his two younger sisters, as his parents both work full time. they had a nanny to help, so he didn’t have to, but his sisters always came first to him and being the oldest he is definitely a protective older brother

cancer & death mention tw :  when he was fifteen, his youngest sister, at six, was diagnosed with leukemia. for 2 years his life revolved around her. bodie was never extremely social to begin with, but in high school he was always invited to the parties & the tailgates. it wasn’t a very hard decision, but the boy chose to stay home with his sisters pretty much every weekend.

when she passed away, his family never seemed to get back on their feet. her room was left like a museum, tears and shouting resulting from his mother whenever anyone touched anything in there. once he turned eighteen, bodie moved out eagerly – nothing drastically far, still in the same city (he couldn’t leave his other sister behind!! los angeles born and raised!!! gimme childhood friends plots!!!!) bodie just moved to some shitty downtown LA apartment. being in his childhood home made him feel like he was drowning. tw donezo!

though his family is quite wealthy, his parents believe in bodie earning what he has, when he first moved out they only gave him some of an allowance every semester to help with his tuition. but he got a hold of his trust fund when he turned 21. he’s v frugal though and doesn’t flash his money at all, most people don’t even really know he has any money unless they knew him when he was younger.

SO bodie graduated with a bachelor of fine arts, concentrating in media arts. he hit the ground running as a production assistant in the cinematography department and that was really how he worked his way up to his position now. he aspires to continue to pursue a career as a cinematographer. the boy has a side hustle and shoots for aspiring instagram models lol, he also shoots special events upon request like weddings/bdays/parties

during his time at uni he met a beautiful gal that he fell In Love with. things moved so quickly between the two of them, they got engaged a year in. it was a romantic WHIRLWIND and a really exciting time of his life. but as they began planning their wedding, small arguments turned into full blown fights. they started spending less and less time together and going on less and less dates. they stopped talking about the wedding altogether, but still went through the motions of being together. he didn’t really know he had fallen out of love at first

this is probably his BIGGEST regret of his life – mainly because it fucked with his self perception and he started to let this define him. ALSO he had always prided himself in his ~goodness~ and didn’t really think he was capable of causing sUCH pain and being sO inconsiderate/selfish.. but he started sleeping with one of his close male friends while still engaged and in a relationship. because of that saying “once a cheater, always a cheater” he just can’t forgive himself and also doesn’t really trust himself. he was YOUNG and DUMB, but still wouldn’t ever use that as an excuse. bodie has definitely learned from his mistake.

OKAY jumping to present FINALLY!!

ftlog was not exactly the show he applied to the position for -- he has been with studio3 for a few years working on shows under other titles: production assistant, 1st/2nd assistant camera, he’s worked in the light department for a few smaller shows as well. bodie never really connected with ftlog, but it's his first gig as a camera operator, so he’s pretty excited to finally be the main guy behind the camera.

he’s basically a big fluff ball that has a past and is just trying his best to Be Happy

bodie is an irresponsible mess most of the time to anything non work related. he has to set a million alarms because more often than not, he sleeps through the first few – literally would wake up late in the afternoon every day if he could (HE LIVES FOR OVERNIGHT SHOOTS), he’s is constantly late to everything unless it’s work related. all his closest pals know if u want bodie to be On Time you have to tell him to get there at least a half hour before he really needs to be. he can only make it on time to set tbh. maybe u could see this coming, but he’s pretty much a night owl. he’ll stay up into the wee hours of the morn dickin around

says “oh baby!”, “nah” and “sick” way too much

overall pretty loud and outgoing once he feels comfy around you

is extremely flighty and unreliable when it comes to all things romantic

has 2 instagrams: 1 for business purposes that is solely his photography, and 1 for his artsy fartsy selfies lol and cryptic captions

CONNECTION IDEAS: a crew roommate(s)!! bodie doesn’t need a roommate for rent reasons, he just is definitely someone that likes the company of roommates. university pals!! maybe a star he shoots frequently on his side hustle, so they’ve developed a friendship. an ex!! bodie hates the spotlight though and actively works to keep himself as much of a fly on the wall as he can so if his ex was a star he’d literally combust the first time they got papped together. there’s a good chance bodie would break it off b4 it really got serious tho. this is all i have rn but i’m down to plot or go of chem!!! like this and i’ll come bug u!!!

[mvloncarch]

     hello hey what’s good hunnies, i’m rollin up late but uh !!  my name’s maia, 25 y/o living it up it up in the ast part of the world and uh listen i don’t have discord bc i’m a literal grandma when it comes to keeping up with all the new means of being social lmao so if you would like to chat and/or plot?? just shoot me an im on here — i’m usually always mobile & i obviously love to talk a lot !  and i’m a heaux for dramatic / angst-fuelled plots .. just a little fyi … i’m excited !! so anyway !!!  onto the Idiot of the Hour you’re actually here to read about; my darling malone. i have a pinterest board for him  HERE  , his stats page set up  HERE  , and a connections page  HERE  which as you can see is bare as all hell so let’s plot <3

╰☆╮ DACRE MONTGOMERY , 21 , CIS MALE , HE/HIM  ☆ — wait , is that MALONE SINCLAIR ? dean lockwood has been looking for them . you didn’t hear it from me but , apparently the JUNIOR might know something about the whole omega chi & kappa tau situation . while they can be ENIGMATIC & RESTIVE , they’re far too ALTRUISTIC & RESILIENT to be involved , right ? those who know them say they’re reminded of BOYISH CHARM AMPLIFIED BY A ROGUISH GRIN, SPARSELY SCARRED FINGERS CLAD IN GOLD RINGS, BEING 3AM’S DESIGNATED SAVIOUR TO ONE AND ALL, HAWAIIAN SHIRTS HIDDEN BENEATH DESIGNER SUITS & DREAMY BABY BLUE HUES LOST IN THOUGHT whenever they’re around .  honestly , the BIOLOGICAL SCIENCES major should try to keep their head down . after the events of last semester , lockwood is out for blood . did you know that MAL is a member of LAMBDA SIGMA OMEGA ? that might explain why their name is being brought up.

okay so homeboy here has had it pretty easy his entire life. his dad works relentlessly as chief of neurosurgery in lower manhattan and his step-mom had worked as a prestigious legal practitioner; one of the most sought out lawyers in the state, and later, a socialite. like the infamous philosopher dr justin roberts once said: “six figures, i was only four”, malone was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. while most would assume he’s a straight up trust fund punk, though, he inherited his father’s impeccable work ethic to a fault.

as an only child and therefore sole heir to the sinclair estate, his parents have been on mal’s ass his entire life to give his absolute best in everything he does. health, school, sports, friendships, relationships, the whole shebang. his marks were always near the top of his class, he excelled at his two favourite sports; hockey during the winter, baseball during the summer. but it wasn’t until he hit his mid adolescent years, started developing an interest in girls ( whom he once thought were riddled with cooties ), that his focus faltered a wee bit and good lil o’malley boy started being a teenager.

embracing his lavish lifestyle and all the popularity / opportunities it handed him on a silver platter basically, mal was ho-ing himself around, partying it up with the elite crowd, earning himself a pretty risque rep among his peers. it wasn’t until he met his first actual serious girlfriend that he did his best to tone it tf down. and it worked, for awhile. but !! of course he fucked it all up and even though what’s done is done, he has big regrets. BIG regrets. mainly bc girl went absolutely wild and took a baseball bat to his ferrari yikes.

after graduating high school with exemplary marks, instead of taking the opportunity to potentially thrive in the big leagues of the sports world, malone opted to stick to his roots, following in his dad’s footsteps. he got accepted into hollingsworth as a pre-med student, studying all the biological sciences, and will be entering his senior year come september. his next big plan is to attend harvard to earn his medical degree and get the ball rollin.

malone still has a whole lot of growing up to do but he’s doing a lot better in comparison to his teenage fever years lmao. he loves helping others alright, giving back to the community & especially helping his frat bros whenever they’re in need. he’s very much.....a Dad in the sense that he coddles his bros but he does it while he’s drunk off his ass?? like if he isn’t winkwink busy himself winkwink, he has no issue busting down doors to check on ppl and hand out condoms like he’s jesus handing out water turned to wine.

on a sober note tho, mal is naturally loud af like.... he just has that thunderous voice that projects half a mile, and he likes to joke a lot so his laugh is even worse sdfhudgkjd. but all in all he’s a good guy ok he wants to do good for himself and everyone else, he just has issues listening to one head over... the other rip.

wanted connections ; 1) ok so uh he obviously needs his bros, i'm thinking maybe even a best bro like vinny & pauly d vibes pls let them have had a wild trip with the boys to vegas, got drunk, and married each other PLS. 2) also on that note, maybe a fella he's experimenting with?? bc he's a bicurious soul, potentially bisexual, so that would be a loAD of angst huh. 3) he need him some fwb / hook up type deals, whether they be a regular occurrence or a one time thing. 4) ex gfs!! i don't see him having like... a SHIT load of exes bc he tries to stay away from relationships but probably anywhere between 1-3?? whether they be on good terms, bad terms, lingering feelings, etc. i'm cool with whatever. 5) maybe somebody he tutors?? bc while he gives off mad Dumb Frat Bro vibes, mal is actually very intelligent and again.... he loves helping ppl out. 6) how about some enemies tho. like... idk man i'm SURE there are ppl he rubs the wrong way bc he's a pretty loud boy lmao. or maybe they think he's fake. or maybe there's some sports rivalry or frat rivalry or he broke ur bff's heart?? the possibilities are endless.

[shuaffeine-rkive]

i like you a latte

∘ description: every morning, you looked forward to visit your favourite coffee shop - and your favourite barista. ∘ pairing: joshua x reader ∘ genre: coffee shop!au, college!au, fluff ∘ word count: 2026 words ∘ warning: none :3

๑ 71.1 degrees coffee shop • series masterlist • full masterlist 

A/N: rumour has it that the author has a playlist of ‘coffee shop songs’ that she likes listening to at wee hours and that the list happened to consist of a lot of songs that would sound great for joshua. 

At the north east corner of the campus grounds, hidden in a maze of buildings with walls so old you could probably see a few cracks in them, was a humble coffee shop. The shop was a fresh modern breath amidst the historical buildings it surrounds itself with and was one of the quietest spots across the whole campus early in the morning. Thus, it had been two months since you started frequenting the shop, grabbing your daily dose of caffeine before a whole day of classes would begin. You loved the feeling of sipping your coffee in silence, soaking yourself in the peaceful aura the place emanated before all hell broke loose as you tried to keep up with lecturers spitting fire and streams of consciousness. It became like a habit, one could say, but you knew there was another reason beyond the great coffee they served that explained why you chose this shop above others.

“Morning,” you felt your heart flutter at the soft voice you had grown accustomed to listening to in the morning. Your eyes were trained at the dark brown-haired male standing behind the counter, the corner of his lips lifting up slightly when his eyes landed upon your figure. You smiled back to hide your nerves as you walked up to the man, hiding your hands inside the sleeves of your sweaters so he wouldn’t notice how they were lightly shaking.

“Can I get a flat white with an extra shot please?” you inwardly sighed in relief as your voice refused to betray your emotions and came out steady. It’s been two months you first met the barista, whom you still couldn’t find the courage to ask his name, yet you could still feel yourself reacting to him as if it was the first time. Butterflies fluttered in your stomach as his smile widened, the corner of his eyes crinkling just the slightest bit as he got to work on your order. The shop was fairly empty at this time of the day, sans a few students who looked like they were ready to camp at the tables straight through to lunch, so you stood to the side table where you could still see the male without being too obvious. You stood there admiring his profile, the way the rays of sunlight streaming in through the windows surrounded him like a halo, and just when you thought he couldn’t look more like an angel like he already did, you heard it.

Initially, you thought you were hallucinating, hearing a soft melody being sung over the dull beats echoing from the stereo. You strained your ears to hear the voice – soft, delicate notes sung in time to the rhythmic beat, and you swore you felt your heart melt. Your eyes were fixed on the way the male hummed to the tune of the song while his hands continued to work. You found yourself lost in his tone, one so sweet it felt like you were floating on cotton candy, and you wished that time would slow down so you could hear to his voice longer. Alas, he soon snapped a lid over your coffee cup and called your name, snapping you out of your trance. You hoped he hadn’t caught you staring at him singing, forcing the warmth accumulating in your cheeks down as you walked up towards the counter, yet your effort was in vain as warmth rushed towards your surely pink cheeks as his hands briefly brushed over yours as he handed you your cup of coffee. He sent you another one of his killer smiles before turning away, and you walked back to your table suppressing the squeal that threatened to escape your throat. Mentally scolding yourself at how you’re acting like some high school girl in love, you slowly sipped your coffee, savouring the smooth, rich taste of caffeine awaking your senses whilst occasionally glancing towards the male. You inwardly wished that he would start singing again, but as you could feel your cup emptying, his almost-angelic voice had yet to make its second appearance. Finishing your coffee’s last drop, you grabbed a pen from inside your back and quickly scribbled on a piece of tissue paper, rushing out of the shop before you could regret your actions. There were only five words written onto the paper, but when the brown-haired male read them, a wide smile instantaneously broke out on his face.

‘I really like your voice.’

You dropped by the coffee shop earlier than usual the next morning, decked out in a black, formal blazer, white blouse, and matching dress pants. Your eyes met the male’s as he looked up to greet you, but his voice was caught in his throat for a silent beat before he regained his composure. You crossed the floor towards the counter, your ponytail swinging in time to the click-clack of your heels and told him your usual order with a smile. From the exterior, you radiated confidence and grace, but truthfully you were shaking inside from anxiety stemming from your presentation later that afternoon, and from the fear of what the male’s reaction would be towards the note you left him the previous day.

As he penned your order on the side of the cup, he stopped for a moment to take another look at your dressed-up figure, before scribbling some more words that you couldn’t see from the corner of your eye as you walked towards the taller tables. You ignored the racing thoughts of what he could have written on your cup away, instead taking out your cue cards to review your presentation material again. You let your eyes wash over the words as you tried to calm your thoughts, before the familiar voice called out for your name, prompting you to walk over and take your much-needed dose of caffeine. As you walked out of the shop, you turned the cup over to read the words that had preoccupied your mind moments earlier and you let out an excited squeal as your eyes washed over the words.

‘You look good today. Good luck on the presentation! – Joshua.’

That was the beginning of your small conversations with Joshua.

Although the two of you have yet to speak in person, the number of notes you exchanged continue to increase. Sometimes it was small compliments and encouraging words written on the back of some paper, sometimes it was more random facts written on the side of your coffee cup that either left you amused or blushing. ‘Did you know the average human has about 21 thoughts a minute? How many did you use to think of me today?’ left you wondering how the calm and gentleman-like Joshua could reduce you to a blushing mess in just one note, though you swore you saw him laughing softly at your flushed cheeks. The notes the two of you continued to exchange were like baby steps in getting to know each other, and as three months passed by in the blink of an eye, you gradually began to look forward to your morning routine of visiting the shop even more. Yet, you longed to know more about the person behind the sweet encouraging notes decorating your cup every morning; you longed to know more about Joshua, what he was like as a person, his likes and dislikes, and many more. The only problem was, that you had no idea how to initiate a conversation with him.

“Jun, I really don’t know what to do,” you whined at your best friend, Junhui. The two of you were camped at the dorm’s common room, books scattered over the table in front of you in a study-turned-sharing session over the boy who had been plaguing your mind for days. “I really want to start a conversation with him, but you know I’m terrible at doing that.”

Junhui let out a sigh, snapping his book shut at the words you’ve been repeating for over five times in the last fifteen minutes, “Y/n, I don’t think we need a reminder of how incredibly awkward you are at starting conversations, our first conversation was example enough.

“The point is,” he continued quickly, sensing that you were about to snap a quick remark back at him, “you don’t have to try so hard. Just be yourself and you’ll be fine, and also, because I’m an amazing friend, I’ll go with you to the coffee shop tomorrow and help you from the sides or something.”

Hence, one could find the two of you walking into the coffee shop together the next morning, your heart beating so fast you feared it could burst at any time. Joshua’s head snapped up to face the pair of you, but instead of giving you one of his usual smiles, he squinted hard at Junhui’s face instead. You were just about to greet him when suddenly, a voice resonated from your side, “Oh! Shua hyung!”

You froze in confusion as you watched a radiant smile forming on Joshua’s face as Junhui walked up to him, the feeling growing as the two exchanged a fancy handshake and spoke to one another casually, as if they had known each other for years. You slowly walked up to the pair, half in wonder and half in awe of the whether the scene unfolding before you were a part of reality. A few moments later, Junhui recalled your presence beside him and turned to introduce you, “By the way, this is my best friend, y/n. Y/n, this is Joshua hyung, remember I told you I had a friend who does part time work as a barista? This is him, though I didn’t know you worked here, hyung.”

Joshua glanced over to you, allowing your eyes to meet briefly before he sent you a small knowing smile, “I know her. She comes in every morning for a cup of coffee and we’ve… communicated before.”

You returned his smile with one of your own as Junhui nodded and excused himself to grab a seat, but not before telling you to order another cup of coffee for him as well. You let out a low amused chuckle at the unpredicted turn of events, “This world is a really small place.”

“Indeed, it is,” Joshua laughed, and you internally swooned at how even his laughter sounded soft and sweet in your ears. “I didn’t think girls could stand his jokes.”

“Well, after a while you learn to ignore it automatically,” the two of you shared a laugh at that. “Besides, I quite like his puns. Some of them, at least, are quite entertaining.”

Joshua nodded as he took down your orders, sending you one small smile before he turned to work on your drinks. From the corners, you could tell that he scribbled yet another note on your drink, and you stood there shifting on your feet whilst waiting for him to finish working. As he handed over your drink, his hands lingered much longer than usual, his fingers brushing over your knuckles feather-light. You turned the cup to the side where his note was written, and read the words that sent your heart into overdrive, your cheeks flushed so pink it was almost red.

‘If I said I wanted to talk to you more, would you go on a date with me? p.s. I like you a latte.’

You laughed at his pun at the end, eyes shyly drifting up to meet his own brown ones that were glimmering in the sunlight. You realised this was the first time you had seen his features up close, and you were mesmerised by how ethereal he looks under the glow of the sun. His gaze was fixed onto yours confidently, but you could tell from the way his eyebrows were furrowed ever so slightly and the thin line his lips pressed into that he was nervously waiting for your answer. On the other hand, you already knew what your reply was going to be, and you sent in a soft smile.

“I would love to, Joshua. I like my coffee as a flat white, but I like you a latte too.”

[monster-mum]

Home, Home on the ... Island?

In 2014 something happened that changed the course of our lives in a very unexpected way.

 It was a difficult day as Chris was leaving that evening for another three-month deployment overseas, so emotions were high. Steven was three and a half and Lyla wasn’t even one yet. We were in a big indoor play centre in St. Austell, Cornwall and Chris was waiting for a phone call. For the past few months Chris had been interviewing for a new job. We really hoped he’d get it as we desperately wanted to make a change in our lives, especially where his work was concerned. As we watched Steven bouncing of the walls in utter delight and Lyla rolling around on the floor kicking her legs, dribbling and chewing on anything she could get her chubby fingers on, Chris’ phone began to ring. He looked at me and walked off to answer it. I sat patiently waiting for him to come back and let me know what, if any, our options were. A few minutes passed and he returned.

 Chris: “Well, they’ve offered me a job.”

 I smiled pleased but could sense a ‘but’ coming.

 Me: “That’s great! Where’s the job?”

 He looked nervous

 Chris: “Stornoway.”

 Me: “Stornoway?”

 Chris: “Yeh. Stornoway.”

 Me: “Where’s that?”

 Chris: “The Isle of Lewis.”

 Me: “Ahh, yes. Stornoway on the Isle of Lewis…where’s that?”

 Chris decides that Google Maps could be very helpful here. As he types in Cornwall to Lewis I watch as the red line keeps travelling higher and higher up the map. It turns out the Isle of Lewis is over 800 miles away from Cornwall. I sat quietly for a few minutes (quite the feat for me) as I processed this unexpected information.

 Me: “When do we need to let them know?”

 Chris: “Before I leave tonight.”

 Nothing like making a huge life decision in the space of a few hours.

 Chris: “Nic, we do not have to accept this job offer. We have been here for six years and you have supported me in my job to no ends, even though you have never been happy here. You’ve sacrificed a lot. if you do not want to go than that is fine. It is completely up to you. I will find a job wherever you want to live.”

 He’s a good egg my husband eh.

 As I sat looking at the map of the UK amazed at how long our nation actually is, I processed what he was saying. He wasn’t wrong, our life in Cornwall had involved a lot of sacrifice, support and understanding on my part but in turn Chris had made some huge sacrifices to take care of us. He had missed so much time with the children, especially Lyla and he’d never get that back. Chris is amazing, he never complained or moaned about how hard it was on him to not be around, to miss the kid’s assemblies and plays, so many of their firsts. As far as I was concerned his sacrifices were far greater than anything I had done. This was his dream job. I knew how badly he wanted to do it, though he’d never say.

 Me: “Let’s just go for it Chris. We have never been there and we’ve always wanted to live in Scotland. It’s your dream job. Just say yes. Let’s go for it.”

 I can remember the shocked look on his face as I said this. I don’t know why he was so surprised I can be a fairly unpredictable individual.

 Chris: “Are you sure? We don’t have to.”

 Me: “I’m sure. If it doesn’t work out we’ll go somewhere else. We’ll give it six months and if we’re not happy we’ll look elsewhere. Time for a new adventure I think.”

 And that was the beginning of our Hebridian adventure.

 Two years later and our time to move finally arrived. It was a long time to wait for a move, plenty of time for me to get apprehensive and start to doubt our flawless decision-making process of let’s just go for it. What if we had made the wrong decision? What if we weren’t accepted into the community? What if we didn’t make any friends? What if the kids didn’t settle?

 We’d never moved an entire house before, let alone with two children, a spaniel and a cat who hated travelling. We decided that the kids would travel up with my parents stopping in Glasgow for four days as a rest stop. So, as me and Chris set off with our happy go-lucky spaniel and our elderly, drugged up to the nines, I hate cars and will vomit every time I’m in them cat, we began our 800-mile journey North. The journey went smoothly until we got to Glasgow and discovered our Ullapool to Stornoway ferry had been cancelled. Since we had decided that moving four days before Christmas would be the easiest most stress-free time to move across the entire country, this was quite a worry. Our moving lorry had to be back down south for Christmas Eve, preferably without our furniture and the kid’s Christmas presents on board. We needed to get to Lewis, one way or another. As I start to plan a way to add some kind of floatation devices to both our car and the lorry the amazing staff at Calmac ferries came to our rescue. Squeezing us onto the Skye to Harris ferry and the lorry onto the freight ferry at 3am they saved Christmas for us.

 We arrived at our new home shortly before midnight on the 21st December. Our first proper home that we had bought. We were so excited! We unleashed our mad spaniel, Sophie, who zig-zagged around our front garden sniffing anything and everything. Carrying our rather fed-up cat Maxie into the house and disposing of him in the utility room I opened his cage door and then ran around excitedly, pleased that we’d finally made it. After a few minutes I went into the utility room to check on the moggy and low and behold the bloody thing had disappeared. I called him, no response. I love cats, I love what jerks they can be. Sometimes it’s not ideal like when you realise you left the front door open in a new house, it’s midnight, pitch black and your black cat has disappeared, possibly out the front of the house. I immediately had an image of Maxie hitch hiking back to Cornwall. “But how will he get across the sea?!”

 Me: “CHRIS! Max is gone and the front door is open.”

 So, our first hour in our new home, on our new island was spent walking up and down the road out the front of the house calling our cat. I should also mention that the streetlights turn off at 11pm here, so it was very dark, freezing cold and windy. I couldn’t believe this was happening to us and immediately deduced that this was an omen and the whole world was going to end. Returning to the house deflated at the loss of our cat, after only living here for an hour, Chris disappears into the kitchen only to call me a minute later. The bloody cat was hiding under the kitchen units! Relieved and a bit annoyed we closed up the house and headed to bed to get some rest before the manic day of unpacking began.

 Moving the furniture in was pretty straightforward, other than having to remove the living room window due to the awkward shape of our TV unit. Other than that, it went well. Later that day my parents arrived with our two monsters. The kids were thrilled by their new house and promptly ran riot looking in every room and every cupboard.

 It was great seeing how happy they were.

 Fifteen months later, one cat down and a baby up we’re settled in. Maxie sadly died three months after we moved in, he was old and basically held together with duct tape so it didn’t come as a major shock to me and Chris. We buried him in a Hotel Chocolat box in the garden. Steven and Lyla dealt with it well and now offer regular tours of Maxie’s grave if anyone is wishing to visit it.

 Living here is like stepping back in time in a way. Children play out in the streets and are in and out of each other’s houses. Everyone knows each other and never hesitates to help someone in need. Moving from a community where we had new neighbours every 18 months this is a new and welcome change. I can remember taking the kids to their first day of school and looking around at all the parents and Grandparents doing the school drop off and feeling the enormity of what we had done. I had no one up here, we knew no one. One-time Lyla had managed to tangle her hair so badly it needed to be properly cut. I drove around for half an hour unable to find a hairdresser’s because I didn’t know where any of them were. I sat and cried in the car feeling very alone and very far away from home.

 It hasn’t taken long to find our way around or get to know people here, within a few months we had made loads of new friends as had Steven and Lyla. Chris settled into his new job well and is really enjoying it. The best part is that we get family time together and in abundance. He doesn’t miss out on the important things. He is there for the kids shows and performances, for their clubs and just day to day things. He’ll not miss any of Lachlan’s firsts and our tiny monster will never have to experience his Daddy going away for anything longer than a week or two.  I remember years ago I had this friend whose husband was deployed more than Chris. Before he left for a new job all her photos were of her and their girls as he was never there to be in them. Once they moved and he started his new job all of her photos had him in them because he is around more now. That is what it is like for us, Chris is now in our photos and in our lives more and yes, I know he can be annoying with all his “opinions” but life is definitely better with him around more. He still goes to work regularly so I do get a break from him every now and then. Overall, I’ve discovered all my worries and doubts to be completely unfounded as we have adjusted to our wee island life.

 Who would have thought it’d take moving to a little island off the west coast of Scotland for us to finally feel at home.

[portlandmainehomes]

21 Most Unusual Pet Encounters Realtors Are Still Reliving

If you thought cranky and quirky buyers and sellers presented one of the biggest challenges Realtors face, you may have forgotten about something even more unpredictable: their pets. Real estate industry experts shared the strangest encounters they've had with animals. Some are hilarious, while others are downright scary. All will make you think twice the next time you enter an open house. 1. Get off me, goat! via GIPHY "Was showing an acre of property to buyers. The sellers had some farm animals — chickens, goats, etc. One of the goats started following me around. Almost aggressively, harassment style, and this was not a small goat. Eventually, well, it tried to mount me. Horribly embarrassing, I ended up running inside while my buyers toured the rest of the backyard. For some reason, it was fixated on me. My clients could not stop laughing." -- Leah Bubb, Realtor® with HomeSmart 2. Dead or alive? "Came upon a mini schnauzer peacefully sleeping on a bedroom bed. As I got closer, I realized it was not only dead and stuffed but that it had a breathing apparatus in it to make it seem alive!" -- Amy Williamson, Realtor® with RE/MAX Integrity Actual footage above, no lie! 3. Realtor or dog sitter? "During an open house I was asked to hold a dog outside, but I needed to sing to the dog and rock it like a baby. I was like ‘…What?' But I did it." -- Pate Stevens, an agent with luxury real estate firm Nourmand & Associates. 4. A wee accident "I was getting ready to start the open house and the client was cleaning her things so I took the dog in my lap, and when he got back down I noticed it (he was tiny so it wasn't a lot, but still! Pee!)! Not a great way to start off! It showed visibly on my outfit and the tenant freaked out, she was so embarrassed. Luckily I have a pup at home so I knew that with a tide pen and a hair dryer I could get it out. The tenant was mortified but had both of those things so I got it out and moved on." -- Sam Lazar, an agent with Triplemint. 5. Oh, rats! via GIPHY "There was a time recently, where my buyer and I were traveling through the home. I am not a fan of unfinished basements. With flashlight in hand, (because in the unfinished ones, the lighting is always horrible) we walked down the long hallway. And we heard the oddest sound. A mixture of a squeak and scratching. At first I was really nervous because I thought there were mice. Then there it was! A big fat rat in a cage. We both let out a screech and got out of the basement real quick." -- Denise Supplee, Realtor®/Investor/Landlord Expert/co-founder and operations director of SparkRental.com / Educator at Snaplandlord.com. 6. These guys weren't so lucky...

"I had a listing appt and the main showcase of this hoarders home was in the basement. I'm glad I brought an "assistant" as I just knew he might be an odd duck when I got the call. He looked at us with a weird excitement and asked us to come see his most prized possession. (Yes we had a mag flashlight and pepper spray) Turns out it was a mouse museum. Dead mice in jars. He promised to name the next one after me!!!! 😳 I passed on the listing." -- Danielle Mahnken, Agent with Gloria Nilson & Co Real Estate 7. Dog day afternoon via GIPHY "My clients and I got locked inside an apartment because the door knob wasn't secure. After not being able to get out for awhile one of my clients climbed out the fire escape and starting banging on windows. He unknowingly knocked on a doggy daycare directly under the apartment and when the employee opened the door, at least 15 dogs ran out and started running around. Once the employee corralled all the dogs back inside, we were able to walk through their store to escape." -- Maggie Fanney, an agent with Triplemint. 8. Reptile Room "Showing Instructions: Locked door in basement is reptile room. Do not attempt to open, as they are uncaged. If buyer is interested, seller will open room for 2nd showing. Needless to say I didn't show the house." -- Jessica Thomas, Former Professional Development Chair at Kansas City Regional Association of REALTORS® and Realtor® at Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate- Kansas City Homes 9. Horsing Around "Here I am, fresh off the licensing train at the ripe age of 18. Meeting a new potential client, I show up early open up the house. It's a cute little bungalow in a small 'historic' town. I walk around the corner and there is a horse in the living room! (vacant home) It's just chilling there! To be honest, I'm not sure how it even got in there. But you could tell it had been in there a while. I called the listing agent and he had no idea how it happened or who the horse belonged to. So, I called up a family member who runs a rescue and after doing some footwork, we got it home. Almost a decade later and it's still one of my favorite stories." -- Danyl Winderlin, Realtor® with Realtypath 10. Hogging all the attention via GIPHY "While I was showing a vacant home, a massive hog wandered up to the property and started eating grass. He stayed the whole time we were showing. When I told the listing agent about the hog, she stated that it was negotiable." -- Emily Isbell, Realtor® at The RealTeam Homes & Land 11.Table-sized turtle via GIPHY "I was photographing a home and the homeowners had left. I was on the third floor and heard a bunch of noise on the main level like furniture was being moved around. I thought they were back home, but when I came in the living room there was a GIANT turtle in the center of the room. I mean like the size of a big round coffee table. He was banging into the furniture and causing quite a ruckus! -- Angela Romano, Realtor®; at Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Fox & Roach 12. Hamster mishap "During a showing, I was in the hallway turning on lights while my clients were checking out the hall bath. I stepped into a child's room to flip on the light at about the same time the pet hamster escaped from his plastic exercise ball,apparently the child had forgotten to take the hamster out of the ball and put the little guy back into his cage. Before I knew it, the hamster had rushed passed me, down the hall and into the hall bath, where my client proceeded to stomp on him! He did not die right away, so we gently placed him back into his cage but I cannot imagine that he lived much longer... That was an awkward phone call to the listing agent but I was sure glad that I wasn't in the listing agents shoes, having to tell the family before they came back home. My clients did not buy that home." -- Brenda Miller, REALTOR® at eXp Realty 13. Monkey business "We have a local lender in this area that has a pet Capuchin Monkey. He brings it to closings sometimes, always a hit!" -- Ed Cordle, Realtor® at Genesis Real Estate 14. Creepy Kitty via GIPHY "My partner and I were showing a precious little townhouse to a client. A beautiful solid white fluffy cat lived there. The cat had a pure evil expression the entire time and followed us around the house. When we got to the master bedroom, the cat jumped up onto the bed, looked us dead in the eyes and peed on the bed never breaking its glare at us. Pure evil!" -- Danyalle Friday, Realtor® at Montgomery Metro Realty 15. Just ducky via GIPHY "A garage full of ducks at the home inspection. Keep in mind, they weren't there before. And boy did it smell horrible!" -- Roberta Tynik Lejeune, Realtor® at Better Home and Gardens Real Estate 16. Just Batty via GIPHY "Walked down into the unfinished basement of an older home a few weeks ago... was only down there for about 10 seconds until a bat flew by my head. Bye Felicia." -- Ryan Ballard, REALTOR® at Key Realty 17. Butting heads via GIPHY "Chased by neighbor's goats all the way into the house, where they then began butting the door. A horse in the garage was a big surprise too." -- Jackie Merritt Realtor® The Danberry Co., Realtors 18. Polite Parrot via GIPHY "I was showing a house once, and I arrived before my buyers. I rang the doorbell just to be sure no one was home. When no one answered, I opened the door and heard, 'Hello?! Who's there?' Startled, I started to apologize and explain that I was a Realtor® who was there for a showing. I got cut off again with another, 'Hello?! Who's there?' About 30 seconds later, I finally realized it was a parrot and not a person." -- Kara Pagliarulo, Attorney at Law at Attorney Support Solutions, Kara Pagliarulo, Esq. 19. Squirrely showing "I came across a caged pet squirrel once. He didn't seem happy. -- Jamie Hering, Realtor® at Better Homes & Gardens Real Estate 20. Magic carpet via GIPHY "I was showing a home and the owner was there. There was an empty glass tank. I asked what used to be in the tank and he said it was a snake. When I asked where the snake was he said he wasn't sure but he knew it was around somewhere. When I looked in the corner there was a lump moving under the carpet." -- Heather Bennett, REALTOR® at Hunt Real Estate ERA 21. Pig contingency via GIPHY "The sellers had a pet pig, and for unknown reasons, they had decided to leave the pig roaming around inside the home when they left. Just as the buyers arrived, 'Stella' came swaggering out of a bedroom to greet everyone. She was a medium-sized pig, quite charismatic, and friendly, although noticeably aromatic if you catch my drift. That pig stayed right by my buyers' sides during the entire showing, walking from room to room, occasionally squeaking it's approval while looking up at the young couple. I could tell that these folks were becoming more attached to the pig than to the house itself. They had fallen in love! As we were departing the home, the buyers were non-committal. I thought to myself, 'They really love this pig, and I also knew that the sellers had a dilemma to solve that the buyers didn't know about. They couldn't bring their pig with them to the new apartment they were moving to. So just before entering our vehicles to leave, I said, 'You seem to have taken a real liking to 'Stella.' They nodded in agreement. 'If you decide to place an offer on this home I could write a contingency into the contract that the pig would go with the house. I think the sellers might just go along with that!' They smiled and said, 'You're kidding with us, right?' I said, 'No, I'm serious! I'll write it right into the deal if you want!' The young bride looked squarely at her husband and said, 'Hon, Let's do that!' Back at my office, I placed the contract/offer in front of Gene, my then manager, for him to peruse and approve. He smiled while staring down at the clause, 'The pig (Stella) conveys with the property.' The deal was made, and everyone was happy. Everyone at my office got a big kick out of this unique contingency which I included in the offer. We had lots of fun in those days at the office. All the agents were like family and friends. After the closing, one of my colleagues, Raylene, presented me with a little statue of a pig that really resembled Stella. I still cherish that statue to this day, and look at it when I need a smile." -- Tom Cirignano, author of The Constant Outsider I'll leave you with a viral video that's making its rounds on the internet (trust me, it's pet related — just wait for it). No word on whether the woman is a door-knocking agent or not. Let's just pretend she is. Read the full article

[iwillnotbeshakeyen-blog]

wow it’s been a while

omygoodness… it’s been many many many months since i’ve last been here, and what’s super weird is that my 3rd year is well underway; where has the time gone? I feel like this platform is like an old friend I haven’t talked to in a while.

So, here are some candid updates:

1. internship was amazing and I miss it oh so much, and applying what I’ve learned has definitely been a struggle, especially when it comes to evangelizing, but I haven’t lost my focus. 2. The Lord has been so faithful in my QT. When I am intentional in my time with the Lord, I see so clearly His goodness. My worldview and life in general has dramatically shifted for the better. Yes, I could be doing better at spending more time, but baby steps here  3. how am i a third year? like what? i definitely don’t feel like that. i just wonder if 1st years see me the way I saw 3rd years when I was a wee little firstie. just so weird 4. speaking of firsties, why is it so hard to talk to them? i don’t know how the third years talked to us when we were firsties. wow thank you upperclassmen  5. apartment living is better and it’s starting to feel more homey, especially now that we’ve got couches 6. realizing more and more how stingy of a lover i am; Lord refine me  7. fighting for joy is hard; seeking first His righteousness is not easy either, but realizing that is where I must start  8. still struggling to fully trust in His plans for my life; lots of questioning about why the effort I put into my work results in fruitlessness, but also a lot of peace; it’s kind of confusing 9. i feel myself getting quieter and quieter and it’s a weird feeling 10. wow MNLs have been literally so hard hitting and truth giving; studying the Word of God in order learn about God is so sweet  11. reminding myself that God has placed me in the communities I am in for such a time as this; He has given me purpose  12. 3rd year is pretty lonely, except it’s not just a couple of us feeling that; i think most of us feel this more often than usual  13. finding beauty in Christian community again -- whether that’s through GCF, Chi Alpha, small group, MNL, etc.  14. lots of physical pain from intestinal and stomach issues; health is one of those things you never appreciated until it’s gone; consecutive days of pain and inability to eat many things; learning to control my diet so that not every week ends in such pain; stress-related, but mostly my body repelling every delicious food known to mankind  15. so many passion projects stacking up in my brain but not enough time  16. getting sort of emotional seeing your Sunday School kids get older; excited to see how another year of serving alongside some old faces and some new faces; having hope for this semester/year; and we’ve got new songs!  17. upper class small group revamp has been such a blessing  18. never wanted to go home more than ever; not being able to ever  19. solidifying favorite study spaces  20. being grateful for people  21. i think i’m turning into a people-person (but like i said, i’m a stingy lover)  22. many tears  23. admitting that Spanish versions of worship songs are 200% cooler 24. constantly in awe of how my summer was even a real thing -- like how did all of those things happen? like who am I that I deserve all of those experiences? not being sure of what my future holds, but knowing that this summer has trained me to do whatever the future does hold -- best things happen when God’s plan (most times unexpected) happen over mine  25. meeting the coolest and loveliest people ever through my internship whom I miss and love so much  26. still not having all the answers but sort of being okay with it (key word: sort of) 

[jessicakehoe]

Caitlin Cronenberg Shares the Backstory Behind Some of Her Most Famous Celebrity Portraits

The Endings, a photo series by Toronto-born photographer Caitlin Cronenberg and art director Jessica Ennis, was shot over the course of seven years, culminating in a 2018 book by the same name. That series, which features Hollywood A-listers like Keira Knightley and Julianne Moore as characters caught up in the emotional tumult of heartbreak, is now being developed into a TV show by Sony Pictures Television. Select photographs from that series are now a part of the Broadview Hotel’s permanent collection, greeting guests at the elevator banks on each floor, and peering down from the walls of the Toronto hotel’s bar and restaurant. We caught up with Cronenberg as she walked us through the hotel’s acquisition of her work, and then sat down with her to get the lowdown on some of the most iconic celebrity portraits she’s shot in recent years.

Sarah Gadon

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Walking away from 2017 like… #burnitdown #2017 #2018 #happynewyear #newyearnewyou @sarahgadon @jessicamennis

A post shared by Caitlin Cronenberg (@caitcronenberg) on Dec 31, 2017 at 9:27pm PST

This is Sarah’s “story” in The Endings, and we shot it out by Jess [Ennis]’s parents’s place in Thornhill, which was very fun. The story was that she’s going through her boyfriend’s breakup box and smashing and burning things. And it was actually pieces from Jess’s actual ex-boyfriend’s box, like letters they had written her and CDs, that we used. So it was like a catharsis in a way for her, which was kind of amazing. But the story was that she runs into the woods and sets this thing on fire. So we took our little team and went down into the wooded area in Thornhill on a warm summer night, and had her set this box on fire and this is the final image of her walking away from it. She’s the greatest subject of all time, flinging herself down hills and letting us put fake blood all over her and shooting into the wee hours of the night, smoking terrible clove cigarettes as props and smashing CDs in the middle of this cul de sac in Thornhill. It was really fun. And since then we’ve done so many shoots together and I’ve done stills on a bunch of films that she’s been in. Every time we shoot her, it’s like a totally new experience.

Robert Pattinson

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Let’s have another! Robert Pattinson for @luomovogue styled by @rushkabergman #outtakemonday #robertpattinson #rushkabergman #desert #la #rpatz #outtake #fashion #eyepatches

A post shared by Caitlin Cronenberg (@caitcronenberg) on Dec 4, 2017 at 3:14pm PST

This was one of my favourite shoots. This was when Rob was really at the beginning of his breakaway from the Twilight situation. I had done three or four films with him, doing stills—so we knew each other pretty well by this point. But you know, he’s a shy person… I find that a lot of actors are actually quite shy when it comes to photo shoots because it’s a very different experience. They don’t have a character to play. So what I like to do when I shoot actors, even if it’s for an editorial, like this one for L’Uomo Vogue, I like to give them a backstory. This was styled by Rushka Bergman, who is the most creative stylist I’ve ever worked with. We drove out to Joshua Tree to do sort of this Mad Max in the desert. All of the over-the-top jewellery and the spikes and the eye patches was all Rushka, she’s the only person who’d say, ‘You’ve got one eye patch on, let’s put on a second eye patch.’ And Rob was pretty open [to it]. He was kind of laughing as he put on the leather pants and saying to himself, ‘do I look ridiculous?’ But then as I showed him the images as we were shooting, he got really comfortable. I mean, he was hot in it, because we were in a desert and it was a very hot day in the desert. But he did so well. I was very impressed by him.

Schitt’s Creek

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Congratulations to the cast and crew of @schittscreek for your Best Comedy Series win at the CSAs last night! And congratulations on day one of filming your last season! @thecdnacademy @instadanjlevy @annefrances #schittscreek #danlevy #anniemurphy #ewdavid #bestcomedy #csa #canadian

A post shared by Caitlin Cronenberg (@caitcronenberg) on Apr 1, 2019 at 3:09am PDT

I have been lucky enough to work with these guys every year since season one, doing their gallery shoots, which is their character shots and promo shots. Watching it blow up… I’m so proud of Dan and Eugene. It’s just an incredible thing, the fact that they’ve been recognized internationally and the response that they’re getting. The show itself is so special. It’s so funny. It’s so inclusive. It’s all of these things that we really desperately need. I didn’t know them [before working with them]. I think I had probably crossed paths with Dan when he was at MTV, but not in any serious way. And I hadn’t met Eugene or Catherine, who I consider to be Canada’s parents. I didn’t know Annie either. But they’re such a creative bunch. We’d just be laughing all day long—they are so funny and so brilliant. And they’re like a family, they’re very welcoming. So even though I was only in there for a few days each season, I always felt so welcomed by them. You get to feel like you’re a small part of something that they’ve built that’s so impressive and so wonderful.

Jennifer Lopez

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This happened. Then I died. And I am posting this from beyond the grave. The majestic @jlo for @variety! Go see @hustlersmovie! #jlo #jenniferlopez #jennyfromtheblock #tiff #tiff2019 #tiff19 #portraits #portrait #idol #hustlers #hustlersmovie @tiff_net @att @arthouseagency

A post shared by Caitlin Cronenberg (@caitcronenberg) on Sep 9, 2019 at 12:36pm PDT

I don’t even remember [shooting her] because I blanked out and then when I looked at the photos later I was like, ‘Oh good.’ JLo is the most magnificent creature I’ve ever seen in my entire life. She’s just so stunning. You look at her face and you’re like, ‘How? How? I don’t understand.’ My baby started kicking while I was shooting her, for the very first time. It’s like he knew that it was JLo. I was so nervous. But she’s very professional. When you’re shooting during the film festival [TIFF], everybody is really business. I had the whole cast of Hustlers in there, doing singles one at a time. They come in, they get fixed up, just quick touch-ups, and then you have five minutes and then their publicists yell at you and you bring in the next person. I was just thrilled that I got time with each of them because they’re an amazing, fun cast. But there’s sort of nothing like her, she exceeds all expectations.

Billie Eilish

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Congratulations @billieeilish for making history with your Grammy nominations! The youngest person to ever be nominated for the top four @recordingacademy awards! ⁣ Production Design @jackrflanagan ⁣ Styling @samanthaburkhartstylist⁣ Hair @tammyyi⁣ Makeup @robrumseymua⁣ ⁣ Special thanks @vesper_filmandimage⁣ @northsixproductions⁣ @interscope⁣ @milk⁣ ⁣ #billieeilish #photography #photo #photographer #setlife #momlife #billie #grammyawards

A post shared by Caitlin Cronenberg (@caitcronenberg) on Nov 21, 2019 at 6:40pm PST

What can you say about Billie Eilish? She is the 17-year-old that I wish I had been. Just her talent, the way that she is working so hard and I’m seeing this because I’ve shot her twice. Once for this Spanish clothing company, Bershka, and I just shot her again for Beats. She’s so hardworking. She’s so focused and she has such good ideas. Even just walking on to set, she knows what she wants, she knows how she wants to be styled, she knows how she wants her outward persona to be and she knows how to protect herself. And I think that’s so important when you’re that young and when you’re blowing up the way that she is. She won’t do anything that feels not like her true self. And I respect that. It’s rare to find people who are like that. I think she’s a great role model for young women. She is showing [them] that there’s no one way to be. And she’s humble and down to earth, the kind of person who’ll blush when you tell her you love her work. There’s just something so real about her but also intimidating ’cause I’m like ‘I can’t believe what you’ve accomplished already.’

Meghan Markle

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From Kensington Market to Kensington Palace! Congratulations Meghan and Harry! #royalwedding #meghanmarkle #meghanandharry #harryandmeghan #kensington #toronto #kensingtonmarket Shot by me for @holtrenfrew

A post shared by Caitlin Cronenberg (@caitcronenberg) on May 19, 2018 at 4:45am PDT

We did ‘A Day in the Life with Meghan Markle’ for Holt Renfrew about seven years ago. It was a one-day shoot in which we just kind of hit her favourite spots in the city to highlight where she would spend her days off [from filming Suits]. She’s another very down to earth person—someone who you could be very chill with and, like, hang out with every day. Very fun, very funny. People on the street recognized her, because Suits has always been huge. Everyone knows that it shoots here and I think everyone’s always excited to see someone who’s kind of made Toronto their home. She stopped and took photos which was really nice and not everybody will do that. I think people really appreciate little gestures like that, that make their day and are not that big of a deal for her. It was a great experience, really fun.

Drake

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Happy birthday to October’s very own, @champagnepapi! It’s Scorpio season and y’all better watch out! Photo by me for the Views album! #drake #happybirthday #ovo #october #octobersveryown #scorpio #scorpioseason #views #six #6ix #raptors #toronto #torontoproud

A post shared by Caitlin Cronenberg (@caitcronenberg) on Oct 24, 2019 at 5:45am PDT

The Drake shoot was awesome. It was 2016; I did the cover of Views and the interior booklet over a three-day shoot in April. My kid was four months old and on set with us, it was totally insane. It was intense because they wanted so many setups and had all these great ideas. We had a PDF of 11 different locations and sets that they wanted us to find and build in like, two and a half weeks. But we made it work. Everything turned out so well. Drake’s a total pro—he shows up on set, knows exactly what to do. I mean, he was an actor, so he’s easy to direct. And he’s another person who really has a strong sense of self and knows how he wants to project himself, which was really great. And also as a fellow Torontonian, born and raised, it was fun to explore the city with him and really celebrate the city. For this shot, he wanted kind of like a ‘King of Toronto overlooking the city’ vibe. It was so moody that day because of the snow and because of the sky; it’s very reminiscent of Toronto winters and gives you that real city grit. There’s a great mood to it and it’s a mood that we all know so well from so many months in a year. I really loved that. It’s beautiful.

Carrie Fisher

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Happy birthday to the late great Carrie Fisher. You were my favourite dog-lover and an all around amazing woman. #rip #carriefisher #happybirthday

A post shared by Caitlin Cronenberg (@caitcronenberg) on Oct 21, 2019 at 4:11pm PDT

This was a great day. Carrie Fisher had us over and I did portraits of her and her dog for a project that I’ve been working on for a while about celebrities and their pets. I had an amazing time with Carrie and it’s just devastating what happened. It’s sort of unthinkable. She was an incredibly intelligent woman, like mind-blowingly brilliant. So quick, so witty. And the way that she interacts with you is like that—it’s like the combination of the best of all of her characters. I really felt connected to her. Her love of dogs rivals my own love of dogs. That’s Gary Fisher, her dog, who was her prize possession, her love. She’d go for a massage and he’d get up on the table with her, he walked all the red carpets with her. Her home was so eclectic—she has a Christmas tree up all year round and crazy Star Wars props. It was an amazing little bit of insight into her life. She was a super, super special person.

The post Caitlin Cronenberg Shares the Backstory Behind Some of Her Most Famous Celebrity Portraits appeared first on FASHION Magazine.

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[karenemilne]

I’m baaaack!!

Happy Easter everyone! Thank you all for being understanding and supportive last week when I decided to not weigh myself or post a blog. My Facebook post got quite a lot of ‘likes’ and I’m thinking that could potentially be because people were like ‘thank fuck she’s not posting another long essay this week’ (I get it) but I’m hoping it’s more because you guys got where I was coming from! I had the best time away with Ross but I found myself getting dead anxious on the train home at the thought of having to weigh myself and then embarrassingly write a blog about how I gained 5 pounds (rough estimation). The big worry for me that if I had gained 4/5 pounds then that would be nearly half of what I had lost already and to be honest I don’t think mentally I would have dealt with that very well. It would have felt like an impossible task to lose it and although you would think that that would push you to go to the gym more, I think it would have made me dread the gym. The other reason I didn’t want to weigh myself was because I didn’t care what I ate and drank in London. I thoroughly enjoyed myself going out for meals, eating things I wouldn’t normally when I’m at home and having prosecco/cider/beer/gin (had them all) without feeling guilty. I knew as soon as I weighed myself and saw the damage I would start thinking ‘I shouldn’t have had that extra bag of sweets’ or ‘I should have stuck to gin and slim line only’ and I just didn’t want that to happen. I didn’t want to turn something so enjoyable into something I felt guilty about. So instead I stuck my head in the sand and worked extra hard the past week. If I’m honest I weighed myself on Monday morning (a few days after I had been back to clean eating and the gym so I thought it wouldn’t be too horrific) and I was up to 74kg and thought right okay, I’ll just need to accept a weight gain this week (I was 72.7 in my last blog). But by some miracle, I have managed to get down to 72 on the button!! I mean I say some miracle but I’ve worked out almost every day and been really good diet wise. You may have already seen me gloat about this on Friday but 72 is the lightest I have been in around 4 years! Over the moon! Still a long way to go but as of this week I am down 5.25kg (11 ½ lbs). Only 2 more kilos to go until I reach my first target of 70kg and I cannot explain how excited I am to stand on the scales and see a number below 72 (hopefully this week)! I am so happy that I had a weight loss this week because it taught me something so important. Yes for someone who’s writing a blog on weight loss I probably did take it too far over my two weeks off but that’s okay!! It’s okay to enjoy yourself as long as you’re willing to get back to it once the holiday it over!

So, usual drill! Here was this week’s gym/eating schedule-

Sunday- I had every intention of going to the gym but Ross was a hungover mess who just wanted a lazy day and I couldn’t possibly have gone to the gym and left him in alone…

Monday- Back to work so back to clean eating during the day! I usually just buy lettuce/tomatoes/cucumbers and some form of meat and make salads up in work. I also drink a lot of water when I’m in work but during the two weeks off I hardly drank any! Went straight to the gym from work- I have just discovered ‘Red Zone Running’ on Instagram. I really enjoy their workouts (although even the beginner level is too fast for my little legs) so I did one of their sprinting sessions for 20 mins and the worst thing happened. I fell on the bloody treadmill!!! Thankfully didn’t come flying off but you know that way when you watch someone running down a hill and they can’t stop and they start to fall and it’s really funny? That was me! I didn’t think my face could get any redder but oh it did!! Anyway, a few people have mentioned that I should try to incorporate more weights into my workouts so I’ve been trying that this week. Again I’m useless and don’t have a clue what they’re all called but I did some weights, 12 reps x3.

Tuesday- Gym again- cross trainer for 10 mins, 8 sprints on the curved treadmill, 10 mins constant fast pace on the stair master, deadlifts (I am so weak so only manage like 20kg haha), barbell extension and I achieved a new PB of 80kg on the leg press! I’m still not very confident doing free weights by myself so tend to only do deadlifts etc when Ross is with me.  

Wednesday- Gym AGAIN for a wee cardio session. Managed 20 mins intervals on the stair master (1 fast, 1 slow), 10 mins walking fast uphill, 10 mins running and 10 mins random hill setting on the bike.

Thursday- I am going to go as far as saying Thursday was my biggest diet achievement EVER! I bought my fourth years dominos as it was my last lesson with them (and I am the best teacher ever). I sat with 4 large dominos pizzas in front of me and did I eat them? Not even a slice!! Even when there were leftovers I stuck to my shitty boring salad! So proud of myself for this but I had in my head that Saturday was my cheat day and I was sticking to that! I had a busy night so didn’t fit in a workout. I met Baby Toal (congrats again Karen, she’s beautiful!) and then went to Ross’ gig and I was the designated driver so no added alcohol intake there!

Friday- Off work again (teachers and their holidays eh?!) so forced Ross to come on a big run with me. Managed to run 8.7 miles and for once my leg didn’t hurt!! I mean it hurt in a way that it would if you had just ran 8.7 miles but no worrying aches! I found this run really really hard to be honest. It was 21 degrees so I felt like I was going to die and I had a really big mental battle throughout the full run, fighting with myself about whether I could finish it or not. Poor Ross had to deal with many full-blown strops (threw my hands down like a 4 year old and I would have stomped if I wasn’t mid-run). But hey, we got there! I am the slowest runner and if you don’t believe me maybe this will put it into perspective. I am so slow that Ross went out and did a 6.5 mile run BEFORE our run because he knew he could basically walk alongside me and wouldn’t break out in a sweat- fit bitch. I also threw up in the car after this run too, mainly because I was very dehydrated and instead of having sugar or protein after the run, I had a babybell – idiot!

Saturday- I could hardly walk never mind run so I took a well deserved day off and went out for a wee date day with Ross (had a lot of wine and prosecco- earned it!!)

 Meals this week are-

Sunday- having a BBQ at the maws

Monday- PON Cajun dirty rice

Tuesday- L15 Tex mex corn and sweet potato salad

Wednesday- PON Mediterranean chicken orzo

Thursday- L15 Satay sweet potato and kale curry

Friday- PON Honey chilli chicken.

 You all NEED to go and buy the Pinch of Nom cookbook. It is so good! Last week I made 4 meals from it and all of them were so tasty, quick and easy!

 So yeah! A good week with a lot of hard work put in! Var said something to me this week when I told her that I had got down to my lowest weight. She said, ‘look what a little bit of fear can do for you!’ and it is so true. I was so worried about gaining loads of weight that I pushed myself extra hard and it’s all been worth it! Long may it continue! Let’s hope I see 71 on those scales next week! Thanks as always for reading! X

[bee-kathony]

The Oath | Ch. 21 “Finally” 

a/n: thank you so much for being patient! here’s a chapter you’ve all been patiently waiting for so I hope you enjoy! thank you so much @lcbeauchampoftarth for being my wonderful beta! <3

Arc I | Ch. 16 | Ch. 17 | Ch. 18 | Ch. 19 | Ch. 20

December 12th, 2019

Claire woke up the next morning feeling loads better than the day before. She had a slight headache, but her fever was gone and she had slept for nearly fourteen hours. All she wanted to do at that moment was hug and cuddle Madeline, but she wanted to make sure her cold was completely gone.

Jamie was sitting in the rocking chair in their room with Madeline, feeding her with a bottle. She drank hungrily, her little hands gripping the bottle best she could. At nearly three months old, Madeline was growing so fast. It felt like only yesterday that she had come into the world. Time was moving faster than Claire wanted it to.

“Good morning, Sassenach,” Jamie said softly. “Ye feelin’ better?”

“Much better,” she smiled in response as she sat up in bed. “Achey, but no fever.”

“Tis good, we can’t have our doctor sick.” Jamie looked down at Mads. “No, we canna.”

“Do you think we’ll get the results today?” Claire asked him as she moved to sit on the edge of the bed, preparing to shower for the day.

Just then, Jamie remembered the two letters he’d found at the front door the night before. One being the results of the paternity test; and the other, an envelope addressed to Claire.

“Och! I nearly forgot! Last night when I was lockin’ up the house, I found the letter from the DNA Centre. It slid under the doormat.”

“What?” Claire nearly gasped and started to stand up, but her head felt woozy. “That’s great! Where is it? Downstairs?”

“Yes, on the front table,” Jamie said and Claire successfully tried again to stand again to go get the letter. “Claire?”

“Hmm?” She turned towards him.

“There was another letter… only addressed to ye, and wi’ no address on it. I’ve no idea who it’s from,” he said, a crease forming between his brows.

“Just a letter to me?” Claire asked, and Jamie nodded. “Well, I suppose we should open up our mail.”

Jamie followed her downstairs, cradling Madeline against his chest and lightly burping her. He was anxious to know what the results were, and curious as to the contents of the mysterious letter addressed to Claire. Someone knew where they lived; hopefully that someone was on their side and not threatening them.

Of course, Jamie’s mind was jumping to the worst possible outcomes, so he brushed the bad thoughts out of his head and focused on the present. Claire picked up the letters from the front table, holding them both up.

“Which one do we open first?”

“The results, of course, Sassenach!” Jamie couldn’t help but smile as he pointed to the one in her right hand.

“Are you sure?” She smirked and squinted her eyes. “You don’t want to have breakfast first and then go for a walk?”

“Would ye open the bloody letter, Claire?” Jamie tilted his head to one side and Claire grinned.

“Alright, just because you begged me,” she laughed, mostly to keep her nerves in check, and ripped the top of the letter off. Inside were a few pieces of paper, similar to the first batch of results they received, with a bunch of numbers and words that didn’t make sense.

At the bottom of the letter it read, “probability of paternity: 99.9%”.

Claire’s hand flew over her mouth and tears filled her eyes. Relief washed over her and she handed the letter over to Jamie as she buried her face into her hands and began to weep. All she had wanted was for Jamie to be Madeline’s biological father, and finally they knew the truth. She decisively knew that her daughter had nothing of that scumbag Frank Randall, and only the good from Jamie.

“I’m her father…” Jamie said quietly as he read the letter over several times, making sure he understood what it was saying.

“Yes!” Claire smiled and then threw her arms around him, pressing her face against his bare chest. “You are her father! Her biological father, her Da… Oh, Jamie.”

Jamie pressed his lips against Mads’ small head and then placed a kiss on to Claire’s. Tears of his own fell down his cheeks as he held his girls. Finally, they knew what their next step had to be.

“I would love you,” Jamie said as he looked down at Madeline who was staring up at him, one tiny hand in her mouth. “I would love you no matter who ye belonged to, a leannan, but I’m so glad that yer mine — all mine, wee one.”

“And mine,” Claire smiled and kissed Jamie’s chest. “Both of ours.”

“Ours,” Jamie grinned and hugged her tighter; feeling so much joy, he didn’t know if it was possibly to contain it inside of his body.

“Should we call everyone?” Claire asked, taking the letter from Jamie and snapping photos of it.

“Perhaps we can wait a bit,” Jamie said. “Eat that breakfast ye were talkin’ about and go for that walk? Just be a family for a bit before it gets chaotic again.”

Claire nodded and smiled. “Sounds perfect.”

“When we come back, we can open that other letter and I’ll call Ned wi’ the good news. Looks like we will be going to court after all.”

Court. Lawyers. Testimonies.

It was a bit overwhelming whenever Claire thought about it. Truth be told, she would be fine if they could skip the entire process, but she was also determined to ensure that Hawkins Laboratory didn’t get away with what they did to them and that Frank went to jail.

“Of course.” Claire stood on her toes to kiss him. “But later.”

++++++

They ate a delicious breakfast of chocolate chip pancakes with a side of bacon. Jamie had expertly flipped them and both Madeline and Claire watched, amazed at how he caught them back in the pan every time.

After they had eaten, they got dressed in their coats and scarves and went out for a short walk. The temperature was lovely, with the sun out to warm things up, and the fresh air did them all some good.

They took their time walking back home, arm-in-arm as Jamie pushed Madeline in her pram.

“I just can’t believe it really,” Claire said as Jamie had asked her how she was feeling. “I had hoped that it was a mistake or that Frank really had done something to mess with the results, but it’s obvious now, right? He had to have done something.”

“Aye, he must have,” Jamie agreed. “It takes a sick man to want to take another man’s child away from him. I ken ye said he always wanted a bairn, but this is taking things a bit far.”

“Extremely too far,” Claire sighed. “He was sweet… at one point.”

“Hmph.” Jamie made a Scottish noise of disbelief.

“No, really!” Claire looked up at him, squeezing his arm. “I fell for him while I was still in school, and I thought he wasso… dashing. I really thought he was the one.”

Jamie didn’t say anything, instead keeping both hands on the pram, and Claire tugged on his arm to make him stop moving.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said any of that.” She shook her head, regretting ever mentioning that Frank was once a good man.

“Nah, Sassenach.” Jamie placed his fingers under her chin. “Tis alright. Ye did love him, and I believe ye when ye say he used to be decent. But he’s tried to ruin our lives… I just canna see him any other way.”

“Of course.” Claire nodded, biting her bottom lip. “I understand that, and trust me, I absolutely hate his guts for what he’s done to us. For what he did to me…” Claire shuddered, remembering the night she had found out about his affair.

“I didna think ye didn’t,” Jamie smiled and kissed her.

“It just comes as a surprise, if I’m being honest,” Claire said as they started walking back home. “Like you said, it takes a really twisted man to try and do something like this. And not to mention the Lab going through with it… to mess with the test results.”

“We’ve got a good case, mo nighean donn. I dinna ken much about suing people,” he shrugged. “But I reckon that we could win.”

“Of course we will!” Claire smiled and threw her fist up in the air. “The Frasers can do anything!”

Jamie laughed, watching his fiancé shake her fist into the air. They both had been so stressed the past week — ever since the first results had come in — that they had little time to laugh in each other’s company.

“Let’s get home, my wee criminal justice lass.” Jamie laughed again and they made their way home, full of hope.

++++++

“Aye, the results say 99.9% positive that I’m Madeline’s father,” Jamie confirmed over the phone. He’d called Ned, their lawyer, as soon as Claire had sat down to feed Madeline. “So obviously, the other Lab got it wrong. Since twas just me that was tested this time.”

“Can the both of ye come into my office tomorrow? And bring the results wi’ ye, of course,” Ned said.

“Aye, we should be able to do that. And Ned… do you think there’s any way that Randall could try and get joint custody of Madeline now?”

“No. She’s your daughter by blood, he has no claim to her. Tomorrow I’ll go over what will happen next. We’ll need to draft and file a complaint, and serve a copy of it with the summons against both Frank and the lab. That will get things moving. Then we’ll get a court date set, and hopefully soon, although it’s more likely it will take awhile. I ken ye dinna want your family’s first Christmas wrapped up in this business.”

“Aye, that’d be great if it was resolved by then,” Jamie nodded. “Well, thank you Ned. Claire and I will see ye tomorrow then.”

He hung up the phone and took a deep breath. Jamie had confidence in Ned and knew that from here on out, everything was in his capable hands.

“Want me to take her up for a nap?” Jamie reached out his hands for Madeline.

“Sure,” Claire smiled and handed her over. “Come back when she’s down.”

“Aye, Sassenach. I will,” Jamie grinned in response and went upstairs to put Madeline down in her crib. They had a pretty good routine going with her nap schedule. They both still  woke up at all hours of the night whenever Madeline would cry, but that was life with a baby. Jamie couldn’t wait for the day when she would start crawling; crawling would lead to walking, and on to talking. He was excited to see who she turned out to be.

After gently swaying her to sleep, Jamie laid her down in the crib and joined Claire back downstairs on the couch. Sliding his arm around her shoulders, she leaned her head against him.

“Want to turn on a Christmas movie and not really watch it?” Claire asked him, a coy smile on her lips.

“Whatever could ye mean, Sassenach?” Jamie chuckled, but reached for the remote, turning the tv on to whatever channel was playing a Christmas movie. With Madeline taking a nap upstairs, they finally had a little bit of time alone — just the two of them.

Claire turned her head up, bringing her hand to slide into his curls, and brought his lips down to her.

He kissed her slowly, his thumb pressing against her cheek. There was something he always liked about kissing her, the scent of her perhaps… or the wee sounds she made deep in her chest whenever he flicked his tongue lightly against hers. Jamie smiled against her lips and slid both hands to her waist, pulling her to straddle him.

Looking down at him — her eyes glossy, mouth parted, and hair a wild mess — Jamie had never wanted her more. She leaned down, pressing her lips to his once more, all while grinding against him. The barrier of their clothes made them both groan with frustration and Jamie’s fingers found the zipper of her jeans.

The metal sound of the zipper coming down made his cock twitch as he then felt the heat of her against his fingers. He managed to tug the jeans down and over her arse, but before she could move to take them off, he pressed the palm of his hand over her pussy. Claire froze, a slight squeak leaving her mouth as she looked down at him. She saw one thing in his eyes and one thing only: Desire.

Jamie pressed his hand firmly against her, feeling how wet she was through the thin material of her panties. He nudged a finger against the material and then pressed them to her, parting her slick folds. Claire’s body shook momentarily at the intrusion and he brought his other hand to caress her back.

Slowly, he pushed one finger up and began to slide it in and out of her, watching the twitch of her mouth and the heaving of her chest. Claire wanted to reciprocate and her hands found the zipper of his own jeans, pulling it quickly down. He was hard and straining against the thick denim and sighed with relief as her skilled hand set his cock free. She palmed him over his boxers and then, with a smirk, she slid inside and cupped him.

Jamie bit his bottom lip, groaning at the feeling of her touching him and the feeling of his fingers inside of her. Claire began to roll her hips slowly as she stroked him, her thumb pressing firmly on the head, collecting the pre-cum.

“Sassenach,” he managed to get out and moved his other hand to push the hair out of her face to look at her. As they touched each other, they stared into each other’s eyes, wanting nothing more than to bring the other to completion.

Claire felt Jamie’s fingers slow, and she knew he was close so she quickened her rhythm, pumping him and twisting slightly. His hips bucked, as did his fingers inside of her, and Jamie came, spilling his seed onto her hand. He laid his head back, breathing deeply.

She watched him, admiring the way his Adam’s apple moved as he struggled to regain complete consciousness. Wiggling her hips above him, Jamie opened one eye at a time and then smirked.

“I didna forget about ye, mo nighean donn,” Jamie smiled, and began to move his fingers inside of her once again. She arched her back, breathing heavily and panting in his ear. Her legs were nearly trembling as he pushed his fingers inside of her, moving them in a come hither motion. Claire’s hands clasped onto the back of his neck and she pressed against him, clenching her thighs on his hand.

“Oh God!” She began to cry out as she pressed down against him. Claire remembered the way that Jamie had felt in her hand as she made him come and when she looked down in between them to see his fingers moving in and out of her, her body began to jerk as her orgasm bloomed from her stomach, to her toes, and back up to her head.

Exhausted, Claire collapsed on top of him, and he removed his fingers to hook his hands around her back and hold her against him. They both simply sat there, half undressed. Jamie started to kiss her neck and Claire giggled from being ticklish.

“Stop!” She laughed. “You know I’m sensitive there!”

“Exactly,” he smirked and then in an instant he rolled them over, fitting himself between her legs and sliding home. She took every inch of him in, moaning and clinging onto him. Together they explored each other’s bodies, whispering soft nothings into each other’s ears, both feeling like their hearts would surely burst.

++++++

An hour later, they were lying on the couch, redressed and cuddled under a blanket. Claire suddenly sat up, making Jamie jump.

“What is it, Sassenach? Are ye alright?”

“Yes, I just remembered the other letter. The one without an address on it.” She stood from the couch and retrieved it from the front table, coming back to sit beside Jamie.

“Och, I forgot all about that letter. The other one was a bit more pressing,” Jamie said and sat up on the couch, watching as Claire ripped off the top, just as she had with the letter from earlier.

The letter had only a few lines, but it was the last line that gave her goosebumps and made her heart race.

He has connections, and he’s used them to get what he wants. - R

“What does this mean?” Claire read it over several times and then handed it to Jamie. “Who is ‘he’?”

“It has to be Frank, Claire. Talking about his connections to get what he wants. I dinna ken who this R person is, but we need to find out. If they know something, then we could put Frank behind bars for what he’s done.”

“Whoever it is…” Claire looked up at Jamie, her stomach twisting in knots. “They know where we live.”

Chapter 22: Up on the Hill

[datingadviceonreddit]

So, a wee post if anyone is disheartened about dating, or looking for a new perspective. I’m a 30 year old female, I’ve always been on the look out for my ‘other half’ as such, but I’ve been thinking a lot this year and would like to tell you a little about my take on things now, as to maybe provide a bit of encouragement/perspective into things. It obviously won’t be the same for everyone and dating can be very hard in different areas from what I’ve read. But please don’t give up!! Wonderful things can come out of it.So far I’ve had 2 serious relationships, both lasting about 2-2 and a half years. My first was when I was 21 (met him on a holiday abroad, my first love), and the next when I was 27 (met online dating, thought he was ‘the one’). My last break up was in February, which I honestly didn’t think I’d make out alive! Hahaha, now I think about it!! I thought I honestly wouldn’t be able to live without him. Thought he was my ‘perfect’ guy, thought we got on amazingly, fantastic, I thought me and him were on the same page, about everything!! I loved him so so much, our chemistry was unreal and everything was so easy....until 2 months after we moved in together he suddenly ended things. Completely flabbergasted (good word). For the next 6 months I became this psycho girl trying everything to make it work, and no wonder he got sick of me, I was crazy, but oh my, what a lesson I learned. I was completely baffled by it, and still am in a way.But one thing I’ve learned, which I feel is actually quite a lonely thing to realise, is that no one is your other half. I think I’ve lived in fairytale land since I was wee and I always imagined me and my partner, no matter what, tackling the world together. And I have always been on the lookout for that partner. Now I realise I might never find someone. And I might just have relationships every few years. I might be single forever, who knows. This saddens me greatly, but it’s reality nowadays. Maybe we’re meant to date people every few years for needs at that time and specific point in life. I might never get married, I might never have kids. I just don’t know, and if you have no expectations you won’t be left disappointed.I look back and each relationship served me for that time, taught me a lot about myself. My last relationship really made me look at myself, it gave me the push to tackle problems about the strained relationship with my mum which I can now see has stressed me out my whole life. I’m going to counselling but mostly I’m really looking at myself as a person, who I am, why I behave the way I do, what is it I want, what do I feel I deserve. I’m trying to realise as well how cruel my ex was in the end, very brutal for a sensitive girl like me, and I honestly felt like he’d broke me. He didn’t communicate his thoughts with me hence why everything was a surprise. He never saw me as a friend I don’t think, just a girl to be an object and give sex, make his life happy when he wanted. He wanted something easy, convenient, and didn’t want the hassle of a strong fiesty girl!Anyways, since February I have dated. Since my first break up at 24 I’ve always been into dating, thought its exciting, good fun, going on 3 dates a week sometimes, knowing if I fancy a guy or not as soon as I meet them. It’s very rare for me to fancy someone I’ve realised. They have to have specific ‘criteria’ as such.Well I’m dating this time round and I wasn’t enjoying it, I only wanted my ex, he was the best I thought, I’ll never fancy anyone else, blah blah. I’m on all the apps. I’m realising that maybe I need a break as I’m tired of it, and I now live with 2 really cool flatmates, my life has changed for the better for sure I’ve realised, I love where I live, love my job, doing cool new things this year. I’m on tinder, bumble, okcupid, pof, match (I even paid can you believe it!) so I’m giving loads of guys a chance, my ex I didn’t fancy from him photos and profile and when I met him I was blown away, so why not give other guys a chance I tell myself.Being a girl you can imagine the number of matches, a fair few convos but one thing I say no to is men with kids or who have been previously married, wouldn’t give them a chance even, the whole idea made me feel weird and isn’t for me. Well that’s becoming a problem at 30, and I now realise that the men with the best conversation are the dads!! There’s no hope is there. I honestly couldn’t keep track of everyone I was matching with and speaking to and yeah I was one of these flakey people for a bit there because I just wasn’t bothered and didn’t think id find anyone I’d like. No one stuck out to me.One day a guy messaged me on match, I remember we both ‘noticed’ or ‘looked’ at each other’s profiles, but I saw he had kids and didn’t want anymore children. Big red flag. When he messaged I replied as he seemed nice enough and turns out he lived very close by to me. One thing on his profile I noticed was his favourite place was the west coast. Well recently I’d been thinking I want to move there in the future. Anyways I left it as that because I knew there was no point in meeting. We matched on tinder in between also, had a wee joke. He then messaged me a couple weeks later and I thought hey, I like speaking to new people and it’s interesting finding out who lives roundabout me. I wondered if maybe he could be a coffee companion if nothing.So we arranged to meet in our local park, he brought me a coffee as we sat, very nice and relaxed walk in the park. He was an ok looking guy actually. We got on fine, he was nice, he was down to earth, but I always knew I wouldn’t see him again. When I got home my flatmates asked me if I’d see him again, and funnily I said yeah I’d probably hang out with him again but since he has kids it wouldn’t be dating as such.Roll on 4 months later, and I’ve just met his parents!! (What am I doing? Yep, I duno)Right, it’s not as serious as it sounds as was just a casual cup of tea while we were passing. But it has been the oddest thing to me, I’ve felt confused. I’m just going with the flow though. Right now I’m enjoying my time with him, and over the months we’ve spoke a lot about things, been blunt. We’ve tried to not see each other, I’ve tried to end things multiple times, I didn’t fancy him as such at the beginning, it took a lot of work...but he has surprised me, continuously! I’ve only fancied him properly this last month I’d say. I can’t even describe it, every time I’d come round to end things he’d impress me in some small way (without him trying or realising), and I honestly felt like I couldn’t because I’d wonder if I was throwing something good away. I liked his friendship, it was nice and we’re like companions.We’ve had such blunt conversations and we both know we have to say bye to each other in the future, go our separate ways, but we’re both thankful and enjoying the time we do have together. He’s even joked he has to approve of my next bf and if anything he’s a great friend of mine now. He literally lives 1 minute walk away from me and we just started hanging out all the time. We both like animals and a laid back lifestyle, no glitz and glamour as such. We enjoy the same kind of outdoors stuff. He likes going for a wee walk in the evening!!! Something I used to beg my ex to do with me but he wouldn’t.He has told me he can’t imagine his life without me, and I know I’d be lonely without him too. We both just really love having someone round the corner who’s like a bf/gf but there’s no pressure for the future (minus the multiple chats about how we will end things/that I would like a baby one day!)At first it was convenience I guess. I didn’t fancy him, and I remember kissing him and thinking oh no no no. Now I think I could be in love with him. What have I done.... Actually, I know I love him. He’s so sweet! The kissing is great now, the sex was so disconnected at the beginning but it’s so good now. I fancy him so much now, when I was so unsure of him at the beginning. He’s slowly been ticking off all my boxes....bar 1. Actually, 2. He has kids. And he can’t have more.Everything I had concerns over and brought up, he says I do like that, but I’ve been holding back and as I’ve got to know him he honestly is blossoming as I watch. I can’t believe it! He said he was holding back and was nervous to mess things up with me, and I see that now. He honestly was the most nervous anxious person I’d ever met and I really didn’t find it attractive. I was nervous to introduce him to my flatmates or friends because he kept saying really odd things. It turns out he said stuff because he was nervous. If he’d stayed like he was when I first met him I’d know I wouldn’t be able to be committed to him, but now he’s just got this confidence I can’t even describe, I feel taken aback a bit now. But in a good way!He’s like this new blossoming incredible man!! I don’t know where he’s come from. He said to me a couple weeks ago that I’ve made him feel like a new man and he has confidence now, something his ex really took from him.Last night I was watching him cook, and I said to him ‘wow, you have changed.’ I just was in awe of him watching how he carried himself now, and he just smiled at me. He knew! He knew exactly what I meant. I joked he better not get too cocky! It’s probably because for the first time in probably 10 or more years he had a female (me!) initiate sex with him. He has this great body for his age, and he used to hide it from me. His ex used to say to him and point out his worst bits of his body. And now he’s not shy with me at all. Everything he was hung up about from his previous (15 year) relationship I’ve complimented he says.It was weird, we went to his hometown at the weekend there, when I met his parents, but going for a walk at the beach, and seeing who he was and him interacting with his parents, it just made me like him even more. I don’t feel weird about him being a dad anymore and I don’t know if I’ll ever meet his kids. Not sure how I feel about that aspect at all really. Will tackle it if r ever comes. But tbh, I don’t think I’d ever meet them unless I could see us being long term, and we never will be probably. His kids at 10 and 13 so that little bit older.If anything, I realise now that maybe we’re stepping stones for each other...I always feel and think now: we’re always where we’re meant to be in life.One thing is, something beautiful can blossom from nothing to start with. A quote I saw recently ‘a plant blossoms if you water and tend to it daily’. It’s true about a person, and it actually makes my heart swell a little seeing how confident and smiling he always is now. And if anything I will always be thankful for his time he’s given me, and he’s shown me what I deserve from a man. He’s exactly what I’ve needed...minus his vasectomy, haha! I think we’re good for each other, for now anyways.So people on here I’ve noticed say stay away from and just cut off someone and don’t date them if they can’t give you what you want. Fair enough I have a bit of time to play with on my hands, if I was 38 I probably wouldn’t be doing this. But I will always be forever eternally grateful to him. And I know he feels the same. I honestly was about to lose hope, but just meeting someone and developing this connection over time has taught me to give people a chance. Both my exes it was boom! Amazing chemistry to start. So I am shocked with how I feel now, but it’s also nice. It’s not all hopeless!!The saying goes, it’s always better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. And one day me and him will have to walk away from each other, but after my last break up I’m not scared anymore. Getting over who I thought ‘the love of my life’ was has made me strong now. I’ll survive no matter what I go through I realise. It takes time, and yeah it’ll hurt, but I’ll be ok I know. And I’m sure he will be too. It’ll be hard, but I hope we’ll end on good terms and really appreciate the time we had together. Whether it be a few months more or a few years!So just to say, not all hope is lost. Take your time to get to know someone that is a little different from the others or who does fun things. That intrigues you. That holds good values. It takes time for all these things to come out I guess. That spark I was searching for, once again...I now think it can develop. I always thought it needed to be there straight away. via /r/dating_advice

[lil-mad364-blog]

Day 11

September 17, 2018

YAY I’m halfway done with these 21 days! Go me!!! :D

Okay, so I got a crap ton of homework I still need to finish tonight (it’s already almost 1am...), so I’m gonna make this relatively quick.

Today was a pretty productive day! Although I’ve had a lot going on lately with school work and extracurriculars and my job and etc, I surprisingly haven’t felt “stressed” per se, which is pretty awesome. However, I have been procrastinating a lot, which is why I’m going to end up staying up until the wee hours of the night trying to get all my crap done that I have due tomorrow. Somehow I’m still not stressed about it, more like motivated to actually be productive tonight and just knock it out, which is a big change to how I’d react to the same situation last semester! I’m sure there are a lot of reasons to why that is, but overall I’m very happy with the person I’m becoming. 

So anyway, I went to class, and then actually stayed on campus for the first time this semester so that I could a) work on my homework and b) save on gas since I’ve been using up a lot recently driving back and forth. I got a lot done between my classes so I felt really great. However, I obviously still have a lot more to do! But I just wanted to get this post in tonight because this is really important to me now. 

I got invited to a party! Well, I did eventually, lol. A friend of mine was invited to a party hosted by that one guy who’s in the same organization as me and his friends, but he never told me about this party! So I playfully called him out, and I was then invited. But when I mentioned it, he sent me a winky face, so I’m not sure what his plan or intention was for not telling me right away. I think I’m gonna ask tomorrow or something just out of curiosity haha. But I guess I’m going to his party on Saturday, and I’m actually really excited for it! We gon’ get lit, so I’m sure the flirting will be turned alllll the way up between us. Should get fun ;)

I worked today, and luckily my GM wasn’t there. Even though things are okay between us, I just needed one shift without him breathing over my shoulder. Without that pressure, I actually had a really great shift. I felt myself being a lot more productive, and I was having a good time! It was interesting though because as soon as I clocked in, the assistant manager that was working tonight asked me about what happened the other day... Supposedly just out of curiosity and just wanted to hear my side of things. I was getting a little emotional recounting the events, so he didn’t press me anymore. But I asked how he even knew about it, and he said loverboy told him! Gee whiz. I’m definitely not mad, but I was actually a bit surprised that he had mentioned anything about it to another manager. Honestly not a big deal though.

Then at the end of my shift, the owner of the store (who was actually there the night my GM talked to me) called me outside to talk to me. Oh great, everyone wants to freaking talk to Lilly about this! But it was actually something I wasn’t expecting. Long story short, the owner was basically telling me about how highly he and even my GM think of me. He said, “He and I completely believe that you are someone who can run this store. This store is like my baby, and I would 100% trust you with it.” He wanted me to know just how special I am to this company, and how much of a natural leader I am, and how everyone looks up to me, and how I’m like the face of the company. I cried as he was telling me all of this lol, but it was the best kind of cry. And he was like, “It’s okay if you cry, I know you’re an emotional kind of person so I’d expect you to cry. But I love that you cry when I say this all to you because I can see how much you really care about this and how passionate you are.” Ugh, I really needed that. It gave me an entirely new sense of purpose, and it really meant the world to me to have him go out of his way just to take the time to make sure I knew all of this. Wow, I really am lucky with this job. 

Alrighty, so that was honestly about it for today. I’m continuing to have no contact with Jordan at all, not even looking up his profile or liking anything of his. I can do this. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have a whole new confidence.

Wish me luck on all of my homework tonight!

Hopefully I can stay awake..

See ya, babes.

Lil Mad out.