#he’ll take the burden of godhood instead

[epicfroggz]

Why do you think Messmer would still love his mother in an AU where he survives his battle with the Tarnished? Him cursing Marika with his last breath implies that his love for his mother finally broke, and became conscious hatred

Hi, thanks for the ask!!

“Mother… Marika… A curse, upon thee…”

He switches to “Marika” quite pointedly in this dialogue. I interpret it as: Messmer loves his mother very much, but he hates what she has become. It was not Mother and her love that sealed him away, but Queen Marika and her fear. He loves the memory of her from before the Golden Order, that kindness she once had, and wishes to see that woman returned.

(more below cut! the AU this is referring to can be found here)

The undercurrent of hatred is more-so implied than stated by Messmer in my ending. At first he is suspicious that Marika has abandoned her conviction and chosen a lightless Tarnished as Lord (the ones she herself stripped the grace from), but finds that, since you are strong enough to defeat him, 1) her reasoning might still be sound, but more importantly, 2) the world has changed and Marika has changed with it. Keep in mind that, from the Wrath From Afar incant, we know those in the LoS have no idea what went down in the Shattering, only that “something” happened. Returning the Notes or the Blessing of Marika to him makes him recall the mother that once cared for him (hence the “based on a childhood memory” part of the Notes description), and gives him the idea to return to the Lands Between to find her. While on your travels with the Juvenile Serpent, Messmer sees what has become of the world, and begins to develop a strong conviction of his own (the Church of Vows dialogue). At the foot of the Erdtree he thus says that he wishes to confront her—to ask her “why?”—but in the end, he finds he is unable to speak to her due to her shattered state. So, partially out of revenge/hatred/frustration, and partially out of pity/sadness/hope to “put her back together”, he eats her whole.

That is essentially the arc he has in my ending. Separating “Mother” from “Queen Marika”—wanting to save the former and usurp the latter, and mend everything that is broken himself because she is no longer capable. He forced his old mum to retire, if you will. For her own good. :)

- Froggo

[astermacguffin]

Okay, since my fucked up mind is not content with only one angsty Time Travel Destiel fic, here's a concept for a three-part fic series:

1. Time loop

For context, this is set in a Post-Darkness world where the BMOL plot doesn't happen because I said so. Mary still comes back here tho. (Jack will still happen in this world, but that's for the next parts.)

During a solo case, Dean gets stuck in a time loop. (Turns out that some ruptures in spacetime opened after the Darkness invading Earth and God almost dying.) Sam is more than a day away so they can't meet before the loop starts again, restricting Dean's access to Sam, Mary, and research to phone calls.

Dean prays to Cas and he teleports there, only to realize that it's also a spatially-bound type of magic, so now they're both trapped.

No one else remembers anything after each loop aside from Dean and Cas.

Because Cas artificially intruded the rift, all the loops keep on trying to kill him. So not only do they need to solve the case, but Dean needs to constantly keep Cas from dying.

Feelings are explored along the way. Dean learns the incredulity of keeping his feelings hidden after plenty of alone time with each other (as well as watching multiple iterations of Cas dying).

Only Dean can heal the rift because he started the loop. After their love confessions, they form a plan. Cas possesses Dean (in a very eroticaly charged way) and intermingles his grace with Dean's soul. The power of gay love saves the day and the loop is broken.

2. AU Hopping

The loop is broken and Cas escapes with his memories intact, but Dean slips through the rift instead.

Turns out that mending the rift gave Dean the power to travel thru different realities, but he cannot pick which world he ends up in after each hop and what time he enters it.

He goes through different AUs (except Apocalypse World bc it's stupid). I want to give Dean as many Problems Disorders from this AU hopping, so the worlds he get to visit are worlds that fuck him up.

In one world, they manage to leave hunting behind after Sam establishes a network of hunters, form alliances with friendly supernatural creatures, and make their existence public knowledge. (Dean will remember this world and take insights with him.)

In one world, Jack is born an actual baby and AU Dean and AU Cas raise him together. (It's important to remember that Main Dean has not met Jack yet bc he doesn't exist in his world just yet.)

In one world, Sam is a lawyer married to Jess, John is alive, Dean doesn't go to hell and is still hunting. The apocalypse is prematurely stopped and he never meets Cas. (Dean does not like this world, for reasons he won't explore.)

He continues world-hopping for so many times to the point where he finally lost count. It must have been years already. He still haven't found his way home.

A couple of times, he becomes tempted to just stay in one of the worlds where Cas is available and they can be together. The residual grace inside him protests against this.

The most important world he visits is one where he ends up in a cabin owned by Cas. He examines this Cas closely and then realizes that he's met this Cas before; it's Endverse!Cas.

Dean asks if he's in Endverse, but Cas just shakes his head. Apparently, this Cas is also a dimension-hopper now. Turns out that the rifts appeared all across the multiverse.

Endverse!Cas survived the ambush, reaches Lucifer!Sam, and gets thrown into one of the rifts as some kind of sick mercy kill. He also survives this and then quickly learns his newfound ability. The skill makes him nostalgic of his wings.

Endverse!Cas has been doing this for centuries. When he tells Dean about this, the man is shocked. "Haven't you noticed that you have not even aged a day even a little? Your body has been frozen in time ever since." They're both technically immortal.

Dean stays the longest in this world. He wants to learn as much as possible from the more experienced dimension-hopper, but he also wants to learn more about the man himself. (Oh, and yeah, they totally hook up.)

This Cas knows that there's nothing left for him in Endverse, so he just reveled and enjoyed the traveling. He's been in a relationship with more Deans than he could ever count (and some with the visited world's Cas as well).

The cabin they're currently staying in was owned by that world's Dean, who just died a year ago. Cas has done his grieving and he can leave anytime soon, but he has spent the longest time with this Dean in particular, so he can't bring himself to leave just yet.

A part of him wants to stay in this Dean-less world, because after centuries of doing this, he has given up on ever finding the One True Dean that would fill whatever gap is within him. He has resigned himself to staying here for as long as possible.

At one point, Endverse!Cas asks Dean to stay with him in this world. Or if he doesn't want to stay, they can dimension-hop together for all eternity. Dean declines, saying that he has someone waiting for him.

Endverse!Cas examines him with an unreadable look, as if he can see the grace swirling inside Dean (perhaps he can), and gives a loose smile. "Well, good luck with that. I hope it doesn't take you centuries."

Dean calls him out for the unnecessary rudeness, but he seems unfazed. Cas tells him to enjoy his few precious years with his loved ones when (not if) he eventually returns. "Oh, and when you're done with that world," Cas hesitantly utters, "just look for me, okay? You know how to call me."

Dean starts traveling again, unsure if he made the worst or best decision ever.

3. Time skip

Dean hops a few more times, but eventually he enters a world and he suddenly KNOWS. The grace inside him sings in joy for finally being in the same world as its owner. He's finally home.

He arrives at his own world, but at the wrong time. He's already 15 years too late.

Sam is married to Eileen and they have a child now. Mary has a girlfriend. Cas is now a father and Jack is grown. (Yes, Jack still happens here but Lucifer is immediately dealt with and we never see him again. Good riddance. ❤️ The Chuck plot doesn't happen here as well bc Jack deserves a semi-normal life and not be burdened by godhood.)

Sam being physically older than Dean will definitely give him more Problems Disorders. Seeing Jack all grown will also fuck with his head. ("How long was I gone, Cas?" "Too damn long.") I think Mary having a girlfriend is the least shocking news for him.

It it important to remember that this Cas is the one who escaped the loop. He REMEMBERS what happened. He knows that his feelings for Dean is reciprocated and he waited all these years for him to come back. This would also fuck with Dean even more. "I missed so much of your lives. Why even wait for me?" "Why wouldn't I?"

Dean helps Sam strengthen the network he's established with other hunters using everything he learned from dimension hopping.

The big question of this third fic is: Will Dean risk hopping again? There will be multiple times where Dean thinks: maybe if I try hard enough, I'll land on this world on the right time as well. (He definitely got better at hopping after his stay with Endverse!Cas, but there's still a risk that he'll never get back to this world. The multiverse is vast, after all.)

Dean decides to stay at the end. Yes, he missed a lot, but now he's gonna make up for lost time. And hey, now that he's an immortal spacetime traveler with an angel husband and a nephilim son, he can spend the rest of eternity with them happy.

Is it obvious that I'm very obsessed with time-related tropes? I wrote this in one sitting last night bc this has been marinating in my head for a long time.