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atozfic · 3 years ago

Text

lessons in law.

⎘ pairing: fem!reader x choi san.

⎘ genre: dilf!san, lawyer!san, tutor!san, law-student!reader, smut, all parties are of legal age!!

⎘ warnings: dom!san, sub!reader, oral (f receiving), fingering (f receiving), dirty talk, hair pulling, light name calling, mentions of punishment, san is a simp in denial.

⎘ description: sometimes, there’s nothing wrong with an oral exam.

⎘ word count: 1.6k

⎘ author’s note: this was supposed to be a less-than-500-words timestamp. 🧍‍♂️

⎘ taglist: @yunhobabygurl, @eonghwa, @iusrene, @nari-nim, @couchpotatoaniki, @vanishingboots, @yoheyyosup, @spacepiratehongjoong, @rainteez02 unable to tag: @harry-the-pottypus

masterlist.

navigation.

“for a d-defamation lawsuit to turn out success- fuck!” from the moment your resolve slips, you regret it, almost going as far as to complain verbally, if you didn’t already know better.

talking back will only get you punished, and not in the way of whips and chains and all things spice, but in the way of being left high and dry, pussy wet and unfilled.

cold air brushes up against your sensitive folds as the man beneath your desk pulls away from your sopping core. you glance down in time to catch the way he swipes his tongue over his lips, collecting the juices you’ve covered him in, in as little as the three minutes he’s been down there.

he’s looking at you with one eyebrow raised, expectantly, awaiting you to correct the error of your ways.

“did i tell you to stop reading, princess?” his voice, the way the gruff in it curls over his words and his beautiful lips move as he speaks, sends a fresh rush of arousal down your nerves.

“no, mr. choi.”

“and what did you do?”

“stop-” you start, only to do the very thing you said when you jolt in your seat, moments after he’d blown air onto your pulsating heat, torturing you with the minimum amount of pressure against your clit. it takes a deep, calming breath on your end to centre yourself again. “i stopped reading.”

“tsk.” his response worries you. so vague, you’re yet to figure out if he’s going to even bother continuing with the pleasure he was giving you. as if sensing your unsure nature, the drag of his pointer finger over your soaked entrance becomes his answer to the unasked question. “how am i supposed to know you’re studying the notes i gave you if you do that, hmm? do it again and we’ll have to cut the tutoring lesson short today.”

he could have whispered the words and you still would have heard him loud and clear. your eyes reluctantly snap back to the textbook instead of staring down at the sight of him between your legs, hair perfectly slicked back and begging to be messed up, tie undone and hanging from his neck, shirt sleeves rolled up his arms and straining against the muscles of his forearms.

“the act of defamation occurs when someone makes a false and harmful statement...” you begin reciting the words again, after you’d cleared your throat.

as san’s face lowers back onto your aching cunt, you remind yourself over and over to read, just read. that’s all he wants you to do and, in exchange, he’ll take you to heaven with his tongue. but oh, it is so much easier said than done. your hands soon find a grip on the edge of the desk, a place to root yourself down while his tongue drags over you lazily.

“there’s two different types of defamation-” his tongue teases at your hole and you want to beg him, scream at him to shove it- or any other part of him- into your cunt, walls clenching around nothing but your own wetness, causing it to ooze out onto your tutor’s waiting tongue. “libel is the name given to any defamatory words that are written...”

“my princess has the prettiest pussy.” a hand snakes it’s way up your leg, wrapping a tight grip around your thigh before he props it onto his shoulder. when his tongue finally breeches your walls again, it’s at a whole new angle than earlier, and that alone has you wishing you could throw the textbook off your desk only for you to bend over it while mr. choi takes you from behind.

“slander is spoken defamation, and often more trickier to prove in court...” instead, you keep reading so that he’ll keep eating.

“what would your dad say if he knew this is what you use our tutoring sessions for, huh?” san continues to taunt you between licks of your cunt, switching his focus between your hole and your clit. he’s trying to get you to disobey him. “if he knew his dear friend who he asked to help his pretty little daughter get accepted into his law firm has actually been teaching her how to take a proper cock? oh, and just imagine his face if he knew that i fucked you under his very own roof.”

“d- defamation cases are often costly and are a long procedure...” you can’t help it when, instinctually, your hand flies down to tangle itself in his perfectly done hair. instead of pushing you away like you’d thought he would have, san only closes his eyes and let’s out a moan as you tug his hair, face nestling itself deeper between your legs and causing his nose to bump against your clit.

“you have no idea how much i think about you, baby.” his free hand lands on your heat, cupping it as he pulls back to stare up at you. “got me wishing i could have you every hour of the day. that you were mine alone to touch, and fuck, and kiss.”

“w-what would-” you become brave suddenly, spurred on by the moment of vulnerability from the man between your legs, looking so much more at your mercy than ever before, like he’s begging to worship the only goddess he’ll ever know. “your son, or your ex-wife, say if they knew you were doing this, hmm? that you took on an apprentice only to corrupt her?”

“you were corrupted long before i got my hands on you, y/n.” he smirks up at you, only to chuckle when he thrusts a finger into your cunt, no warning, and you gasp, tugging on his hair again. “the only thing i’ve done is show you how good sex can be when you’re doing it with someone experienced instead of some sweaty frat-boy who finishes in two minutes and doesn’t even know where your clit is.”

“you’d be surprised, some of them are better than you give them credit.” you’re lying, without an ounce of shame about it. and it’s more than worth it to see the way his eyes darken, his eyebrows frown, his hand picks up the speed that his finger thrusts into you.

no warning comes when he inserts a second finger.

“really? can they make you beg for their cock like a bitch in heat?” he doesn’t bother to stall any longer, head diving back down between your legs to shut you up.

his mouth latches onto your clit, rolling it between his lips and prodding at it with his tongue while he continues to fuck you with his hand. a third finger enters you and you throw your head back, body curling off the leather of your desk chair while you tighten your grip on san’s hair.

“mr. choi, please.” you’re not even sure what you’re begging for.

“yeah, just like that. a little slut begging to be fucked full, that’s all you are, right? and no one knows how to give you what you want but me.” every whine, moan of your voice, every time your walls tighten around his digits, it strokes his ego and keeps him giving you more, more, more.

when the coil in your body is so close to finally snapping, he rips his hand from you. it’s a moment of devastation only, until you feel his hand, soaked in you, clasping around your other thigh and dragging it over his shoulder too. then his tongue is back in you, drinking in every bit of essence your quivering hole offers him.

when you cum, it’s with your body more sat on him than the actual chair, hands on your ass and holding you against his face as his tongue continues to work you through the electrifying feeling, nose bumping over your clit every so often. while your jaw is slacked open in a silent scream, san makes no attempt to hold back the moans and grunts ripping through his chest.

“shh, shh, i’ve got you.” he coos when he rises from under your desk, lowering your still quivering body back down onto your chair. you have half the mind to wonder if he’s a completely different man to the one who’d been buried between your thighs minutes ago, as he brings up a hand to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. instead of a smirk or a scowl, he wears a smile, even when you feel his fingers dip back between your swollen folds.

“mr. choi, i need a break first-”

“shh, it’s okay.” and you believe him, as he retracts his hand and brings it up to your mouth, commanding you to open it. your eyes flutter shut as your mouth wraps around his fingers, tasting yourself all over them. “so pretty, aren’t you?”

you can only nod, so relieved he gave you what you wanted even though you’d stopped reading. you’re unsure how long he lets you sit there with his fingers in your mouth but him removing them brings you back into the room instantly. coating your cheek in your own spit-mixed cum as he cups it, he leans down to place a kiss on your neck.

“i need to go make a quick call but, when i come back, i expect you to be naked on your bed, ass up and face down.” this time it really is nothing but a whisper, yet you hear him loud and clear.

“why?” it seems like a silly questions to ask, when you already know exactly why he wants you in that position.

“you didn’t think i was really going to let you get away with talking back to me, did you?”

#ateez smut #choi san smut #ksmutclub #cs.writings #ateez.writings #smut.writings #atozfic.writings

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literaticat · 2 years ago

Note

The "these publishers are kids at a school" question but ALL THE OTHER PUBLISHERS, please and thank you #hilarious

OK well not all of them, come on. But a lot of them!

Here's PART ONE if you missed it -- the question is, if various publishers were kids in a school, how would you describe them. Bear in mind that THIS IS ALL FUN AND JOKES AND VIBES, don't come at me, I'm not insulting anyone, I love the publishers! xoxo

PART TWO:

FSG Macmillan – A serious-minded girl but never a stick-in-the-mud, FSG is the daughter of two professors (English Literature and Sociology). She goes to a Waldorf school, so she doesn’t watch TV or anything, mostly she does art with potatoes and leaves and things, though unlike many Waldorf kids, she learned to read quite early on her own. Her parents give her the run of their library, and she has a flair for the dramatic and can recite just about anything so it will give you chills. She’s also passionate about social justice issues; she’s allowed to take the subway to rallies and protests with friends, where she brandishes her home-made signs with gusto!

Roaring Brook Macmillan – FSG’s younger sister. She’s more of a sporty type, plays soccer, and is outside all the time – if you don’t know where she is, you are likely to find her up a tree with skinned knees and a bunch of weird rocks in her pocket. (She also gathers the raw materials for FSG’s art). She’s too young to take the subway without an adult but she IS allowed to have a knife, with which she whittles funny little woodland creatures that look like they could come alive. It’s really a gift!

Holt Macmillan – Roaring Brook’s twin brother. A rough-and-tumble lad with a sweet but slightly naughty disposition. The prank situation is LIT at their house. Like his sisters, he’s a Waldorf kid – but unlike them, this dude is desperate for screen time! He is not allowed to take the subway, but he IS allowed to go to his neighbor Scholastic’s house, at which he watches all the TV shows and plays all the video games he can possibly cram into his eyeballs – his parents pretend not to know. He is NOT allowed to touch his sister’s knife!

Scholastic – He’s in public school, where he’s the class clown. He still has an imaginary friend, an invisible big red dog which he says he rides to school and who stays on the playground while he is in class. When he’s not looking out the window, he’s cutting up and getting into scrapes. His parents are the school principal and a librarian, and they are a little worried that he’s having TOO much fun, but also don’t have the heart to discipline him. He’ll grow out of it! Holt is his buddy.

Balzer & Bray HarperCollins – Twins! These girls are little private-school influencers already – they travel all over, they are sophisticated beyond their years but still like to have fun – they just have quite a polished way about them. They were raised by their mother, a Disney-channel celebrity turned ‘mommy-blogger’ who featured the twins heavily in her social media and gave them this shiny, commercial persona, but now they have spun off into their own thing. Their grandfather is a meglomaniacal billionaire who, we assume, is friends with Tr**p. Let’s not mention it, they certainly won’t! They don’t take the subway, they get Uber Blacks.

Greenwillow HarperCollins – More introverted than her sisters or best friend FSG, and might seem like a head-in-the-clouds dreamer if you don’t know her – but really, she’s low-key funny and brilliant, just somewhat introverted, and not a show-off – she just keeps her head down and does consistent, great work -- but very much on her own timeline, not really paying attention to other people's expectations. (She also plays tennis solidly -- not heading to Wimbledon or anything, but she's really good. And, she can throw darts expertly -- who would have thought?) She’s probably going to be the one who suddenly goes to college at age 14 or wins the Amazing Race or something and everyone’s like “huh! Didn’t see that coming!” She doesn’t take the subway, she walks.

Clarion – Recently adopted into the HarperCollins clan as an older kid, she does feel a little like she needs to work to keep up with their fast talking and inside jokes, but she does well most of the time and is learning to fit in. She’s just a little more serious – but luckily for her therapist, she doesn’t have the baggage of having been raised with the billionaire. She is also into social justice and slam poetry, and I don't want to embarrass her, but she may have a little crush on both Abrams *and* FSG. In the family, she gets along best with her sister Greenwillow, and walks to school with her.

Knopf – this girl is CLASSY. Like you know how sometimes people are described as “American Royalty” or something? That’s Knopf, babe. Glamorous, a bit mysterious, superb taste, plays piano and flute expertly, aces the tests, everyone wants to be friends with her or pretends to be friends with her. Even adults perk up when they see her coming – the power! She and Little Brown are often vying for the same awards, lacrosse titles, class prez votes, etc. Her parents are a reclusive movie star and the scion of an old-money New York family, but nobody has ever seen them, not even the nosy PTA moms – the rumor is that they live in their villa in Lake Como full time and Knopf lives alone in NYC in a houseful of servants. (There is some truth to the rumor, but it's not the whole truth). She doesn’t take the subway, she has a driver.

Random House BFYR, PRH – (goes by Randi because her real name is a mouthful let’s be honest). A bubbly, vivacious kid who brings a smile to people’s faces – she’ll probably be a cheerleader when she gets to high school. She’s a good friend, popular and outgoing, but unlike her cousin Knopf, there’s little mystery to her – she’s really an open book. Her parents are a doctor and a SAHM, she loves puppies and baking cupcakes and wants to be on a kids baking reality show OR an animal rescue show. She does Girl Scouts, and she's on the soccer team with Roaring Brook. She doesn’t take the subway, her mom drives her in their Volvo and picks up her friends, as well.

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harryissuchalittleshit · 3 years ago

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If Jily ever got to meet their grandchildren!

(Purely self indulgent)

James Sirius:

First off, they would be so happy to meet him, and James would cry when they told him what they named him

(If Sirius was also their/alive he would be ugly crying/sobbing/barely able to speak because he was so happy and honored)

Lily already knows he’ll be a little troublemaker, she had the same feeling when she first held Harry

As James Sirius gets older it becomes more and more obvious how right Lily was

They are so proud of him getting into Gryffindor and James sends him a congratulatory howler

James Sirius does share A LOT of his personality with his namesakes, he is fiercely loyal, very open with his emotions, loud and chaotic, he loves to pull pranks, and he views his friends as family

He does have a bit of a hot head and James is embarrassed for him when he starts acting stupid around girls, especially when he messes up his hair like he used too

James Sirius is a bit of a train wreck in his mid-years at Hogwarts, but by the time he’s seventeen he’s calmed down

He even makes Head Boy, with the girl he fancies as Head Girl

James Sirius isn’t the type to go to anyone for advice, it always has to be forced on him, but it would be different if James and Lily were alive

A lot of things would’ve been different, but not that much

Albus Severus:

First off, James would never allow Harry to name his grandson after Snape so

Albus Regulus:

Now here is the baby that Lily wants to babysit all the time

Al is a sweet baby for her and a cuddly toddler for her and just the perfect grandson for her

There is something about Al that’s easy to adore

He’s more open and kind to everyone, but very selective about who he’s friends with or even allows to be close to him

James worries about this, but Lily is scared for Al because of this

She doesn’t want to see him get hurt like she did

When he gets sorted in Slytherin, they don’t know where they all went wrong

When he writes home that he’s friends with Scorpius Malfoy they start to get worried and fearful

Then they meet the Scorpius and see that he’s kind of the foil that Al needs

Al does go through a rough time his last year of school, but then he’s off to Auror training and James and Lily are so proud and happy for him

Lily Luna:

James wanted a daughter when Lily was pregnant with Harry

And 20+ years later here is his granddaughter

She is a beautiful baby and later little girl, James is just so in love with her and Lily teases him all the time about it

Lily is so honored that they named their only daughter after her, and she vows to always be their for Lily Luna

Lily is the only to push Harry and Ginny to get her into dance classes and goes to ever recital

When Lily Luna gets older, James is the one to make her get up on a broom and show off

Lily Luna would definitely be the kid to write to her grandparents all the time and always be visiting them and just staying close and in touch

She is incredibly close to her namesake and Lily actually starts to open up to her about the war

When Lily Luna hits her rough patch when she’s 16/17 she stops writing and just rereads her old letters

James doesn’t approve of Ryan when they first meet (but he never approved of any of his grandchildren’s SO’s)

But then he realizes that Ryan is to Lily Luna what Lily is to him

He drops the over protective act after that

Okay that’s all!

#head canons #harry potter #lily potter #james potter #james sirius potter #lily luna potter #albus severus potter #albus potter #family #ginny weasley #jily #jilytober

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i-need-air · 4 years ago

Note

Hey it's me again ❤️

I'm just gonna whisper something in your mind (is that even possible?)

Having a baby with Hybrid Katsuki.

Just that. Imagine girl. Perfection.

Ok, real talk here. Every time I see a request from you I uwu a little bit bc I know for a fact whatever you're requesting will make me get so immersed and involved and I'm gonna 💕💞AAAAAA💕💞 while writing AND [lemmecatchmybreath] it happened once again skdjdkfkf Hope you enjoy and sorry it took longer than normal~

Word count: 1.8k

× listen 🥺 I already started and I'm melting, ok?

× when he finds out you're having a smol baby together?

× he freezes and looks at you in a whole different light

× if you're getting pregnant, he will definitely smell the change in your scent and will know even before you do; he'd be instantly by your side with a bewitched expression on his face, taking your cheeks into his palms to just soak everything in yet he's shaking slightly

× and even if you adopt [hopefully a smol hybrid], something deep inside of Katsuki, burried and long forgotten surfaces

× this is the life he always wanted, he always craved even in his darker moments

× this happiness, this fulfillment, this joy

× I absolutely believe he will diligently read and learn everything about the baby to come; will educate himself like no other, deciding to be the very best father he could ever be

× his life was rough and he was stolen away from his biological family, he will now have a chance to have his own and he will not fail you or the baby

× when you hold the little bundle of sunshine in your hands, head down admiring the beauty of a new life, he will stand there, again in shock, again soaking this moment in... so beautiful, so perfect

× will he ever tell you that? of course not; angry ass wild pomeranian—

× but his face gives him away every single time and when you tilt yourself to hand him his new son or daughter, he falls in love for the second time in his life;

× he burries his nose in the soft and fragile skin of the baby's head and breathes in, his instinct kicking in to defend, protect, care, look out for...

× watch carefully because once the baby makes a noise, he'll still, unsure of what to do, but smile so softly as the baby coos in his arms securely; that right there is the best image you can have of soft Katsuki.

× the first few weeks are actually horrible, sorry to break it to everyone aksjskdj not because he doesn't know what to do or does not want to help; on the contrary, he is so incredibly attentive but he also recites the books he learned by memory at this point and it's getting absolutely infuriating;

× although understand him, please; he wants to prove he's a good dad 🥺 except you wanna smack him bc he scoffs if you suggest something he isn't sure about.

× you will find him standing by the baby's crib as it sleeps; he's just???? making sure this is not a dream????? don't question anything though

× can we hc Bakugou with a daughter too? [ already established in the Hybrid!Kiri hcs that Kiri'd have daughter bUT i just really really like beefy men with tiny daughters;;; my heartttt;;; ]

× his little angel, no discussion, no argument, his daughter can do NO WRONG!

× he's very down to earth though, don't get me wrong, he just absolutely adores spoiling her

× speaks softly into her ear, the lowest you'd hear from him

× gruff, raspy, gutural voice ofter overused to scream now low and soft as he holds her into his chest; doesn't do baby-voices or anything like that, but calls her his angel then smirks at you if you're watching;;; then starts softly complaining and bitching about you to the baby 💀 all while rubbing her back

× omfg his hand is as big as her tiny back; guys, call an ambulance, I'm—

× Katsuki would be the type of little shit to pull what I just said then grab you and glue you to his chest too; he'd look down at you both, eyes shining in such adoration he'd take your breath away just before he continues his ranting about you;

× once the baby starts being more interactive, her giggles specially the ones induced by her daddy will make him melt; absolute diminute baby with a small wiggling tail clapping her chubby hands at her dad? his eyes would widen suddently, ears snapping high in surprise and he's taken back by the emotions overtaking him

× he's gone, man; she has him wrapped around her tiny little finger and you can't do anything about it

× instantly acts all in denial if someone is around though; scoffs to hide is obvious smile, placing a palm on his mouth to further block it out and tickles her with the other, earning another fit of giggles

× please, don't tell him his whole tail is waving from side to side

× the only clear giveaway apart from his ears and it's;;; a d o r a b l e;;;

× specially when your daughter also starts wagging her tail in response whenever he does it;

× "Hey, come see what the dumbass is doing!" or "Look at what she did" while showing you a video; proud pappa 🥺

× we're bringing back Proud Bakugou bc hIS DAUGHTER iS tHe BeSt; no, seriously, his kid is the mf best in the world and he will start this presentation with—

× now sit down with me and accept this: the baby; yes, your sweet daughter; mhm, that adorable screeching angel; mhm;;; she'll talk so early it's disturbing.

× at 6 months or so she's already saying mamma, dadda, kitty, woof-woof

× seriously terrifying how sharp she is and how she cannot shut up; for the love of gOd, Katsuki, this is all your fault... it doesn't matter, he just smirks as he has another reason to brag to anyone about his child

× did that street vendor look at him funny? "I'M GONNA FUCKING TELL YOU ABOUT MY DAUGHTER—"

× super-protective of her and fucking hates with a burning passion if anyone dares to do that thing where they match up babies saying "Maybe they'll get married when they grow up"

× hands down, no filter, he just looks deep down in whoever had the audacity and says "Like fucking shit they'd deserve her."

× drag him away before he throws fists

× he will definitely if you don't drag him away and you know it, they know it, the baby knows it and cheers for pappa, the whole world knows it at this point and they're buying tickets to watch the shitshow

× chest carrier and walks around with the kid like a boss

× man has shit to do, don't even dare to judge him;

× handles fits really well, he's impressive to say at least

× she's spoiled, yes and always has new toys, coloring books, whatever she wants but the moment she throws fits, he puts his foot down

× baby would be smol angery bb all adorable in all her Bakugou genetics anger and he'd just stare, tapping his foot

× literally waits in place until she calms and looks up at him with big, round eyes, puffy red cheeks and ears lowered

× mission accomplished; he nods then picks her up;

× and you're there amazed??????

× "The fuck you lookin' at?" lil shit still has a foul mouth tho, but make him get just as pouty and embarrassed as the child in his arms by saying something cheesy like "How amazing you are as a dad 💕"

× all rainbows and unicorns until she starts repeating insults and fr tho, Katsu almost shits his pants, fearing your reaction. Will, hands down, chill out with the insults even if he meant no damage with them; he has this unreadable expression on, a mix of shame and fluster, dread too? he's sorry, ok????

× loves, loves, loves cooking for you both and once the kiddo has her own special chair to sit at the dining table together, that's when he sees it: his dream

× you, wiping some food off her cheek with a loving expression, talking about your day casually, baby giggling while she moves her face away playfully; he loves you both so much.

× has these rare moments where, at the end of the day once you're settled in bed, he'd hug you tight and thank you in his mind for... for this... all of it...

× once she starts walking they're both a disaster

× seriously, do not expect the household to be silent ever again [ well, that dream was gone long ago anyway lol ]

× "Where the fuck do you think you're goin'?"

× rapid giggle running around from place to place

× "Oh, for fucks—"

× "Katsuki." you only need to say, catching him in his insults

× 😳 ... "Kid, come back, we're goin' to the park." Skdjkdfkl

× sudden adorable tiny fast steps approach him bc they're going for walkies!

× he is very careful with her and teaches her about stranger danger; also teaches her how to growl and even if her attempt is a total failure, small rawr leaving her lips, he's like "Yes. Good job. Now give it more heart."

× he growls as an example

× she growls back, sounding like a cute lil pup 🥺💕

× as she grows up, she obviously acts more like her father yet he knows when to stop the bad behaviors and it only takes a warning growl from him to get her to cease

× yet somehow you're the strict parent at the end of the day??????? tf????????? who made the rules??????

× starts calling her brat, squirt, lil shit 💕lovingly💕

× "your child" if she did something bad

× "Your fucking child kicked the ball into the vase and broke it." Aha, nice one, Katsuki. Good job.

× not to brag but her puppy eyes don't work on him but yours do; the problem is her puppy eyes do work on you bc she's the light of your life so if she wants something; she'll puppy-eye you knowing you'll get it for her bc daddy loves you very much 💕💞

× literally evil mastermind; didn't I tell you she's sharp? pft, she's playing you both so hard

× every day he comes back from work she runs to him at the door, tail wiggling happily behind her as she stretches her arms to be picked up and he always does, without a doubt, then proceeds to kiss the top of her head

× come out to greet him too? the whole loving routine is his absolute thing and wants to see you, have you kiss his cheek; he complains but adores it soooooo much!

× you have a family night; BONDING WITH MOODY POMERANIANS. Yes, plural, and it sounds perfect~

× even if it's just one of those animated movies he hates so much, he'll watch through all of it and make sarcastic comments just to make you both laugh; will grin satisfied asf if he manages to do so bc he's the best.

× will definitely want another kid, so how about maybe a boy??? hmm???

× asks you if you're up for the idea and if you agree, he'll roll his eyes and crack his shoulders, acting so very uninterested and purely exhausted yet his smirk would give him away:

× "Knew you'd torture me with another devil"

× throw him out, istg— 💀

#bakugou katsuki headcanons #noire writes #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #hybrid!bakugou #hybrid!au

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hes-writer · 4 years ago

Text

Ruin

Summary: im not sure how to summarize this without spoiling the story

Warning: angst, bits of fluff here and there

Word Count; 4158 words

A/N: the long-awaited part 6 of the Tarnish series! A collab with @devilinbetweenthesheet-s. My attention span is short itself so I've decided to split it up into two parts.

UNEDITED

___

Harry tried to see the brighter side of the situation because it truly was something to look forward to. Having the chance to get to know Halo was something that he should be grateful for. As Y/N said, Harry did not deserve to be a part of her life, despite the fact that he was the father. And somewhere, somehow— he understood where she was coming from.

Harry honestly wouldn’t know what he would do if the roles were reversed; if Y/N were the one to have been cheating on him. He would not have a clue if Harry would be as kind to her as she was with him. If an outsider were to assess the situation between Harry and Y/N, they would definitely choose her side to be in favour of. So far, Harry still wasn’t able to pinpoint what exactly Y/N had done wrong for him to be swayed by an illicit affair. Was there even a moment in time that he could vividly see where he made the decision to just up and betrayed her trust? Because if there was; either his memory has gone to shit or Harry was more of a jerk than he served himself.

To put things into perspective, Y/N was the perfect partner and Harry had somehow lost sight of that by cheating on her. Don’t get him wrong; Camille was good, great, even. Yet Y/N was an amazing woman who knew exactly what she wanted. Coincidentally, those were the same type of things that Harry needed, too. As much as it pained him to say it, Camille’s rejection of their own little family made him rethink his decision-making process. Harry has learned more about himself in these past few months than he did in his entire lifetime.

For starters, he cleared it up that he had absolutely no excuse for cheating on Y/N except the fact that his retention span lasted a good few years before he was in search of something fresh; something new and exciting. Maybe it scared him just how serious she was in having a family in the future that his subconscious thought that Harry needed one last hurrah to get the infidelity out. Besides, divorces are more complicated when there are children involved.

Secondly, being with Camille was an infatuation that lasted for a long, three years—beginning while Harry was in a relationship with Y/N. Feelings were still there for sure, but he just didn’t know if it was enough to make him stay, especially when Y/N and baby Halo were right there waiting for him. They actually weren’t; Harry just liked to pretend that they were so that he could justify the consequences of his actions.

Camille was trying to make things work with him; Harry could see that. However, there were only so many things that she could do to improve their relationship before she had to change the choices that she had made years prior. Camille really didn’t want to say that she had refuted the idea of not having kids for the sake of making a relationship prosper, but maybe it was what she had to do to make him stay. She wanted a happy life with someone who wanted the same things as her. Harry wasn’t the man who shared a mutual agreement and she was pushed to question her options.

Nonetheless, Camille and Harry stuck with each other because they were all they knew for the past three and a half years. It was definitely ironic for Harry to say that he couldn’t just leave a three-year relationship behind for another woman; because he had done that before. Now, he was a hypocrite too? His ego cannot take it.

____

Connor wrapped his arms around Y/N’s middle as she washed the dishes in the sink. Their water heater was broken so the stream that came from the faucet sometimes teetered from freezing cold to extremely hot. Right now, she was scrubbing the sponge on the porcelain as quickly as possible while the water was at the right temperature.

Y/N turned her head to the side, pressing a kiss on Connor’s cheek. He rested his chin on her shoulder, bobbing up and down as she moved her arms.

“Is this really a good idea, baby?” Connor asked, staring at the way her lashes fluttered in a pregnant pause, taking a deep breath.

She nodded, reaching over slightly to rest the wet dish on the drying rack. “Halo deserves to at least know her real father,”

And it was true. What kind of mother would Y/N be if she kept a secret like that from her own daughter? The past two years was a constant ping-pong battle of reaching out to Harry and sharing the news to him; then, Y/N would be hit with a shot of realization, wondering if this would ruin his current lifestyle.

“I understand. What if he leaves again? Hate to remind you but Harry left you once before, don’t think he’ll hesitate to do so again,”

She froze at Connor’s words. Y/N was aware that he only said that in good faith, to remind her of how hurt she was at the time and just how long it took for her to be able to finally breathe again.

One side of Y/N urged to still defend Harry. She wanted to turn and around, yell at him because Connor doesn’t know Harry as she does. Harry wasn’t the type to build a child’s dreams up only for him to personally manhandle the heart and crush it in his fist. There was a reason why he was a godfather to so many kids; Ruby, Arlo and Jackson—because he was capable. Harry was a nurturing father who put himself on the back burner in favour of making sure that the little ones were safe and secured. He had no problem being third if it meant that the kids were first, then Y/N, then him.

It all sounded so good in Y/N’s head; so well-rehearsed and very well thought out. The monologue that had somehow stuck in the sides of her brain like a script taped to the wall, ready for the time it needed to be recited. The shredded pieces of paper also reminded her that Y/N might’ve known Harry before, but she certainly doesn’t anymore. In fact, she knew just as much as Connor did.

Just like Y/N had grown and evolved into a new person, Harry was not the same guy he once was when they were together.

“I told him the consequences if he did,”

Connor pulled back, stepping away from her. “But wouldn’t it be better if we didn’t take that chance? Who knows what he might do. . .” He trailed off, grabbing a dry rag to wipe the water dripping from the dish.

Y/N took a leap of faith in letting Harry in. He was a wild card. He could promise one thing but would mean another. Or he could recite a vow and completely annihilate the person as he did with her. Yet somehow, Y/N couldn’t resist the opportunity to give him one chance. Maybe it was because a small part of her craved to re-create a happy family that they had always wanted.

“It’s a risk. I know that” Y/N rinsed a cup, swirling the water in circles. She felt like that whenever Harry was around.

“So why are you still doing it?” Y/N opened her mouth to answer, “And tell me the truth this time, yeah?”

Her boyfriend stared at her with an unreadable emotion in his eyes, lips drew taut in a straight line and arms were crossed over his broad chest. The pressure was immense on Y/N’s shoulders. She was torn between admitting what she had buried deep below the sand or simply glossing over it like a figure skater. Nonetheless, Y/N was on thin ice.

For years, she had flicked away the remaining feelings that stayed with her. But they were persistent in sticking by her side. It wasn’t like Y/N could completely erase Harry from her life--from who she was. She still dressed like him, evidenced by the matching pair of Gucci loafers she chose not to wear for the night in fear that he would coincidentally be sporting the same footwear.

Furthermore, they had a child together! Halo was the spitting image of him. It was hard not to be reminded by a man she once loved when their little baby was both of them mixed in one. So did Y/N still love Harry? She couldn’t deny how much her heart fluttered seeing him stutter over his words at the park. Y/N just wasn’t sure if it was from anxiety and nervousness or excitement and anticipation.

Unbeknownst to the couple, Harry had sneakily closed a sleeping Halo’s bedroom door. His trek back to the kitchen was slow, slightly afraid of the awaiting talk he and Y/N--and possibly Connor-- have yet to have. Harry wanted to be there for Halo and for Y/N every step of the way, but he knew that Y/N would not allow him around if his intentions were to cater to a relationship with her. She was already tolerating him as is.

Standing behind the thin wall that acted as a partition from the hallway to the kitchen, Harry carefully placed his hands against the barrier to steady himself. He didn’t know if his legs could take whatever answer would spill from Y/N’s mouth. If she admitted her true feelings, he would stumble and melt into a puddle. He would be confused, but Harry wouldn’t be opposed to it; he was in a relationship after all. If she denied it--which was the more likely option--, his heart would break silently in his chest.

Harry numbed himself of the guilt raking at his ankles. He was well aware that this was a private conversation but hey; it was not his fault that he had ears straining to listen to Y/N’s reply.

“Do you still love him?” Connor followed up, voice grim. Almost fearful to find out the truth. Harry was, too.

Y/N paused her thoughts as well as her actions, flinching at the sudden intrusion of Connor’s question. She flinched, yelping a little and jumping backwards when the broken water heater subdued the filtering liquid into a burning hot splatter on her skin. Connor picked his feet up in alarm, grabbing at Y/N’s wrist to see the minor injury on the back of her palm.

“Ow!” Y/N whisper-shouted, soothing the ache by situating it between her thighs before shakily showing it to Connor; the doctor.

“Let me see, baby,”

Harry peeked his head around the corner, almost losing his cover with the way his feet instantaneously wanting to move towards a hurting Y/N. Good thing he caught himself. Surely they would put two and two together and realize that Harry was eavesdropping.

That decision came with a laceration to his heart. Harry got a first-class ticket to register that the couple was everything he and Y/N were. The pet names, the domesticity of their actions. The caring glances and constant check-ups.

Deciding to come out of hiding, Harry almost had a heart attack when he turned the corner and was met face to face with Connor. His brows had dipped in worry, face determined to grab some cream to apply to the burn from their first-aid kit in the bathroom. Harry guessed that his whizzing thoughts failed to hear the quiet instruction.

The man jolted in surprise, stopping quickly in his tracks, “Oh hey! Is Halo asleep?” Connor gave him a smile despite the confusion etching in his forehead. Harry nodded dumbly, lips pursing like a fish. “Y/N’s just burned her hand, nothing too serious though,”

He looked over his shoulder to see Y/N eyeing the both of them suspiciously, still clutching the burnt skin close to her. “Oh, I see,”

Connor smacked a firm hand on his shoulder, stepping around him to grab the cream. Harry walked towards Y/N, noticing that she was soothing the painful ache with ice wrapped in layers of tissue. She was softly hissing through her teeth once in a while.

“You okay?”

She tilted her head at him, appearing to be dazed out in her thoughts. “Yeah, uh, nothing too bad,”

Harry kept his distance, leaning on the other side of the counter. He started off by saying, “Thank you for giving me this chance,”

Y/N graced him with a smile, standing up straighter when Connor appeared with a tube in his hand. Harry watched as he unscrewed the cap, placing it beside her. He squeezed a bit of the cream unto his fingertip before applying it directly on Y/N’s skin. She winced, wanting to pull her wrist away from his grip but Connor didn’t let her, “It’s gonna be fine, baby,”

He pressed a kiss to her temple, continuing to rub circles on the burn until Y/N visibly relaxed through slouched shoulders and less shaky breaths.

Harry was staring at them like a kicked puppy. He was fussy and frustrated all in one. He wanted the attention that Y/N was giving Connor. He wanted to be Connor, but both of them were too wrapped up in their little love bubble to notice Harry’s squinted eyes and pinched brows.

He was frustrated because even if he wasn’t the direct cause of her pain, Harry had somehow found a way to continue hurting her and Connor was always there to pacify his wrongful actions. Harry hated that this was how fate had planned his life.

Harry cleared his throat, raising a fist to his mouth, “Think I should go,” His thumb pointed over his shoulder, “Uh thank you again,”

Y/N snapped her head to him, gaze lowering in a timid manner as if she forgot that he was even there in the first place. Connor was the first to reply, “Alright, man. See you whenever,” He capped the tub, shoving it in his back pocket to return to its place.

She leaned on her tiptoes to press a kiss on his lips, muttering something in his ear that had Connor teasingly wrapping his hands on her hips. Harry looked away, taking long strides to the entryway instead.

“Harry, wait!”

He shuddered at the memory of the words that had changed his life when Gemma told him the truth. Harry’s shoe was half-way one when he turned around. “Yeah?”

Y/N was holding a folded brochure, “Halo has a recital this weekend for her dance class,” She handed it to him, “Maybe you’d want to go? You can bring Camille if you want but I think it would be better if you didn’t. She’s still new to this and I don’t want her asking too many questions until she can unders--,”

“I’ll go,” Harry cut her off, unfolding the folded paper. The venue was about twenty minutes away from his place. It was only an hour-long considering the skill set of two-year-olds but it was a fun way for parents to cheer on their little ones. Harry’s previously sour mood was now replaced with giddiness at the sight of his daughter in a pretty pink tutu, twirling on her feet. He was sure that Halo was born to become a performer like him.

She sighed in relief, puffing her cheeks out cutely, “It’s a private dance class. Pretty high end so the security should be okay,”

And there it was again. The constant reminder that Harry was otherworldly to some people. As much as he loved living his lifestyle, he sometimes wished that he was a normie. That was a lot to ask for considering his current situation with his daughter, but a man can dream.

“Got it,”

Y/N leaned over to show him the back of the leaflet, “Just show them this ticket and security should let you in. Halo wanted me to give that to you because she was too shy earlier. I know it’s short notice but I guess she was comfortable enough to ask you,”

Harry blushed at the admittance, mentally patting himself at the back for making his daughter feel at ease in a short amount of time.

“I’ll be there,” He pushed his heel to adorn his sneakers. Y/N bit her lip, she looked hesitant, “It’s okay if you don’t want to go, by the way. I can explain that you’re busy. She’ll probably understand,”

He placed a hand on her shoulder. Harry wasn’t going to ruin his progressive relationship with his daughter on ‘probably’. “Y/N, s’alright. No problem, yeah? I’ll be there,”

___

Where was he?

It was two days after the dinner and Harry’s promise of attending Halo’s recital was vanishing with each passing second. Every time the hand of the clock ticked to indicate that another minute had elapsed. Harry still wasn’t jogging through the carpeted middle of the small theatre to where Connor and Y/N were seated. Two empty seats were left at the end of the aisle to aid Harry--and possibly Camille--a smooth arrival without creating any distractions.

There were only five minutes left before the stage crew were to dim the spotlights illuminating the room. Y/N was checking her watch what felt like every second, clicking her phone on and off once in a while worried that something may have happened to Harry. Maybe security wouldn’t let him in. The gnawing feeling at the pit of her stomach suggested that Harry just forgot the event tonight but Y/N would cross the bridge when they got to it. Regardless, her nerves were left unsettled as swallowing proved to be more difficult with the way a sip of her water had her gulping audibly. Connor wasn’t there to lend a soft hand on her upper back to help her breathe.

Speaking of, Connor had taken the initiative to visit Halo backstage. The ballet teacher was growing weary of the way the little dancer ran out from beside the stage to stop in front of her parents, asking, “Where’s Hawwy?”.

Halo had done it three times in hopes of receiving an answer aside from, “He’s not here yet,” Y/N tucked a fallen strand of hair from the otherwise sleek bun from beside her cheeks. Her daughter’s form slouching as her pretty eyes watered slightly, “He’s not coming? You told me he was coming, mama,”

Y/N glanced at Connor nervously, being met with an ‘I-told-you-so’ look which didn’t really help the situation. Luckily, the teacher had approached them with a clipboard on hand, searching for the ballerina. The teacher had suggested that one of them stay with her behind the curtain until the show began. Connor volunteered.

“Better hope he comes or else we’ll have to deal with the consequences. I really don’t want to see her heartbroken before of a promise he couldn’t keep,” Connor muttered, following the woman but not before thumbing circles on Y/N’s flushed cheek.

Y/N knew that he meant well. She also didn’t want to comfort a heartbroken Halo because Harry failed to show up where he promised he would be. And now, with a little less than two minutes before showtime, Connor was sent back beside her. Parents were being ushered to find their seats before the lights dimmed and it would be difficult to maneuver through knees and legs.

“Is he here?” Connor questioned, draping a hand on her shaking knee. Y/N shook her head, casting another glance at the auditorium doors. He waved at Halo who peeked her head between the silk curtains, wandering eyes looking at the empty seat beside Y/N.

“No. Hasn’t texted or answered his phone either,” Y/N was about to dial Harry’s contact once more in a desperate attempt to reach him. However, the dimming lights indicated that it was too late. Connor laced their fingers together, offering apologetic eyes and a tight-lipped smile; they would have to nurse a broken heart later tonight.

_____

Harry was in the middle of buttoning his patterned shirt, staring at his reflection in the mirror to silently judge his fashion choice for the night. Was it too much for a kids’ ballet recital? He deemed that it was, stretching his arms to remove the fabric adorning his chest, moving to grab the pink, flamingo patterned shirt instead. He took his time, granted that he had about an hour before the recital started.

He smoothed the fabric over his broad shoulders, pausing when Camille walked in. Harry locked his green eyes at her through the mirror as she walked to their shared bed, sitting at the foot of it.

“What d’ya think?”

She hummed in response, absentmindedly nodding in agreement when Harry asked if it was good. Both Camille and Harry had talked about his relationship with Halo as soon as she landed at the airport. He didn’t want to keep any secrets from her. Fortunately, Camille was very understanding of his situation, offering him support and encouragement to build a bond with his daughter.

What Camille didn’t reveal was that she was a bit antsy of Harry’s relationship with Y/N. She meant everything she had said to him, but it was no guarantee that Harry would ignite another connection with his ex-girlfriend. Not that Camille didn’t trust him. It was just a bit concerning because she believed that how a relationship starts is how it will end. Harry certainly had a history of straying away from his present partner.

Harry was currently in their walk-in closet, finding a pair of slacks that weren't too formal or casual. Camille mulled the thoughts in her head. She loved Harry dearly and would do anything for him. Well, anything except having children of their own. He had mostly accepted her decision, only wincing a little when the topic of a family was brought up by mutual friends and family once in a while.

Truth to be told, Camille was scared. She was afraid that Harry would leave for Y/N because she had Halo. They were the family that he had always wanted and although Camille wasn’t too keen on giving him the same; she was debating on it.

“How’s this, Cam?” Harry retreated with two pairs of pants. On one hand was a pair of straight-leg skinny jeans that he hadn’t worn in years. The other held brown, corduroy, striped slacks. “Or this one?”

She bit her lip, standing up slowly, walking over to him. “What do I think?”

He nodded, innocently jutting his bottom lip at her as he looked back and forth.

Camille swathed her hands on his shoulders, ghosting her mouth over his ear, “I think I like you better without them,” Her finger traced his collarbone, swirling at the dip of his throat. “Without anything,”

Harry gulped harshly. He felt Camille unbuttoning his shirt, gliding her palms downwards until she was cupping his bulge, “Camille, wait,” He flicked his watch to check the time. It took twenty minutes to get there, maybe even more with traffic and parking.

She dragged him to the bed by the ends of his opened shirt, locking her lips with his plush ones. He rested a knee on the mattress, his hands at the back of her head as Camille continued to pull him down.

Pulling away, Harry panted, “What are you doin’?” He laid his creased forehead on hers.

Camille supported herself on her hands, moving her face back until she was able to get a clear view of his perplexed expression, “I was thinking that maybe we could. . . try having a baby, H,” Her voice was soft, almost timid and she was doing her best not to break eye contact to show her sincerity.

Harry gasped in surprise, “Wha--? Really? Are you serious?” His tone gained a pitch as excitement enthralled his senses. The smile on his face was wide and reached his bright eyes. “Baby, are you sure?”

Camille nodded, grinning softly. “Yes,’

“Oh my--this is. . .,” Harry pulled at the locks of his hair, pacing around the room. “This is great! Our own family. Jesus. I can’t believe it,” Tears sprung on his corneas.

He kneeled between her legs, taking her wrist and pressing a gentle kiss on her skin, murmuring ‘I love you’ repeatedly.

“Are you going to keep doing that?” Camille asked, spreading her legs rhetorically. Harry observed her position, nodding enthusiastically.

Another glance at his watch indicated that Harry was absolutely pushing it with being late to Halo’s recital. Yet one enchanting kiss from Camille wiped his thoughts clean. He was getting what he wanted; a family of his own.

___

Let us know what you thought! The seventh part of the Tarnish series will be uploaded on Patreon on Sept 29!

___

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babyflossy · 4 years ago

Text

eccedentesiast (n)

eccedentesiast (n) someone who hides pain behind a smile

pairing; bodyguard!haechan x reader

summary; haechan is nothing more than someone employed to keep you safe. at least, that’s what you keep telling yourself. but why is it so hard to just see him as that?

genre/warnings; bodyguard au, angst (?), fluff, violence, a poisoning, half-edited, also i'm sorry that hyunjin is always my go to for another male lead lmao my skz bias is showing

word count; 7k baby

a/n; after nearly 3 months of writer’s block, i humbly offer you body guard haechan. i’m sorry if it sucks, i’m kinda rusty to get back into writing. any feedback is greatly appreciated!

it’s sunny outside, the golden morning rays of sunlight filtering through the blinds and onto your face. they warm the skin they manage to reach and you bask in the calmness, wrapped in soft bedsheets and silk bedclothes. if you squint into the light you can see the dust particles float around the beams, slowly swimming through around the window frame. the first noise you hear is a bird singing softly outside and a thought in the back of your mind reminds you it’s almost too peaceful. there must be a meeting going on downstairs, one you’re not trusted to appear at.

a knock on your door brings you back to reality and a sigh claws its way up your throat. your father’s personal assistant, sasha, pokes her head around the door and smiles slightly at your bed hair and the mismatched socks poking out the bottom of your duvet. “your father wants you downstairs in five minutes.”

“and what if i don’t?” in an attempt at appearing nonchalant you fix your gaze on the dying plant on your windowsill, refusing to meet her eyes.

“there’s someone you need to meet,” sasha says, piquing your interest and you give up on trying to defy your father’s wishes in favour of your curiosity. “so be down in five minutes, okay?”

the door clicks shut quietly and you check the time on your phone. 10:49am.

finally letting your sigh out and pushing your covers off your cold body, you reach for the first garment of clothing you spot. it’s a purple hoodie you stole from one of your exes and you pull it over your head with a strange sense on loneliness. how long had it been since you had contacted your college friends?

right before you leave the safe confines of your bedroom, a voice floats from the kitchen, one you don’t recognise. it strikes another wave of curiosity through you, this time accompanied by something akin to excitement. the hardwood floors of the hallway are slippery under your socks and you hurry down the stairs to the source of your interest.

whoever you had been expecting, none of them come close to the boy stood next to your dining table. a warm mop of hair sits on top of high cheekbones and tanned skin. the air leaves your lungs momentarily when his eyes meet yours, dark and calculating. you expect him to offer you a polite smile as most of your father’s business partners do, but his face remains in a stern mask. in would be unsettling if you had met in any other circumstances, you’re sure.

“y/n,” the voice of your father forces you to switch your gaze to him and you shoot him a questioning look. it holds no warmth, only looking for answers. “this is haechan,” the boy nods slightly in your direction at the mention of his name, “he’s your new bodyguard.”

you can’t help but let your eyebrows raise comically. that was probably the last thing you were expecting this morning. sure, there had been bodyguards in your past, but none of them stayed very long and you thought your parents had given up on finding one. “bodyguard?” there’s almost a mocking tone to your words and you like the way it makes your father sigh. “i thought you gave up after the last one.”

in the corner of your eyes, you see haechan’s brows quirk the slightest amount in what you think could be amusement. clearly, he has a lot to learn if he thinks he’ll last long.

“there’ve been some rather,” haechan focuses on your dad again as he starts speaking and your glad for the break from his eye contact. “unpleasant things being said about our family at the moment, and we think it’s best to keep an eye on you. so don’t do anything stupid.”

ah, you think, so that’s what he’s doing. this isn’t just to keep you safe, this is a way for your parents to monitor what you do and who you see, a glorified babysitter. that fact doesn’t sit well with you and you make a mental promise to make this as hard as possible for your new caretaker.

with a spark in your eyes you nod at your father and muster up the sweetest smile you can. “of course, father. anything for you.” the change in your voice doesn’t go unnoticed and he sends you a challenging glare which you choose to ignore, instead opting to smile at the taller boy and escape back up to your bedroom.

for the rest of the morning, haechan stands guard outside your bedroom door. as you had fled the thick atmosphere in the kitchen he'd followed behind with quick steps and he wasn't happy at being banished to the hallway. you weren't entirely sure what danger he thought would be lurking around your house at midday on a sunday, but he was on edge regardless.

finally free once again from the eyes of your steadily increasing number of babysitters, you let yourself fall onto your bed.

your own father doesn't trust you enough to live your life without the constant supervision of someone he decides is more credible than you. it hurts. it always does whenever he fails to conceal the way his job is more important than you are to him, his own daughter.

it hurts but you can't let it show. there's something powerful about appearing indifferent to things that are supposed to affect you, but maybe that's just founded on years of your parents missing important milestones. your first dance recital, your first win at a science fair, the first day of high school, the moment you found out about your college scholarship. none of it mattered to them, because nothing you ever did matters to them.

maybe this was an opportunity. an opportunity to get them to care about something more than their questionable business deals.

with a new mindset, you pull yourself away from the plush sheets and change into something other than a hoodie and fluffy socks.

"where are we going?" it's technically the first time you've actually heard haechan say anything to you, and his voice is surprisingly smooth. it's honey-like and velvety and way too appealing to listen to.

"shopping." it's stupid, but as you pass him you can't help but try and speed up, pathetically trying to outwalk him on your way to the garage. there's the distinctive sound of a hushed laugh behind you and the sound catches you off guard for a second. why do you like it so much?

a personal chauffeur drives you and haechan sat in the front seat leaving you alone in the back. the air is still and the silence is almost painful. you type away on your phone just to distract yourself from the fact you don't think you've ever been this quiet for this long before. haechan doesn't seem to notice the awkward tension in the car, however, and busies himself glaring at every car that passes.

for a sunday, the mall is busy and you find yourself stealthily dodging people who get in your way. haechan draws some stares as he follows close behind you, must less scared about bumping into people than you are. it's understandable– the all black get-up he's wearing makes him look a lot more menacing than he did in your family kitchen. along with his height and his inability to break eye contact first, it's quite a scary mix.

after a few minutes of walking in silence, you decide to at least try and make conversation. the one sentence he's said to you doesn't seem like enough for people set to spend all day every day together.

"how long have you been doing this?" the attempt is weak, but haechan seems surprised you've said anything to him. the focus of his stare switches to you and you suddenly feel small under it.

"long enough." before you can ask anything else, the surroundings have once again captured his attention and anything you say is drowned out by the indecipherable chatter around you. the scrutiny he puts everything around him under just from his gaze is admirable, and for a bodyguard, he certainly does tick all the boxes.

you're barely able to contain your sigh as you decide to take a different approach to gain his attention.

the first few shops you drag him into are innocent trips to buy clothes; there's a party you've been invited to in a few months and you have yet to find a suitable outfit. every attempt you make is ignored skillfully, every dress, skirt and pair of short shorts you hold up he pays no attention to.

when you've finally had enough, you spot a lingerie store with a wicked sense of delight.

"you can wait outside for this one," you tease with a smirk and an airy wave. at first, you're sure he's about to protest until he sees what shop you're leading him into and complies, stopping by the entrance to the store. as if to rub it in more, you taunt him once more. "unless you're curious what i wear underneath my clothes?" as you turn to head inside, you swear you see the faintest taint of pink over his tanned cheeks.

over the next few weeks, haechan seems to understand why none of your previous bodyguards have lasted long. it's also clear to him you'll do almost anything just to piss off your father, anything to get a reaction from him. in a way he feels sorry for you, having to go to such extremes for attention only to be shouted at by the one person who should care about you the most.

haechan has also learned to not mention your mother at all in any conversation where she's not present, as it without fail turns whatever mood you're in into a worse one. that's a whole other issue he doesn't want to rush into, however, and usually lets you do whatever you want.

after the first week, you'd finally started warming up to the idea of having him around you all the time. as much as you hated to admit, it was quite nice to have someone around whose primary role was to care about you.

it had been a long day, and it vaguely concerns haechan when you rush into your bedroom faster than usual, letting the door slam shut with a bang.

he doesn't hear anything else from you until after night has fallen and crying seeps into the hallway.

on instinct, it fills him with an anxious sort of unease and he knocks on your door. in the silence of the hallway, it's clear you're surprised to be disturbed as you stop sniffling for a second before opening the door slightly.

"are you okay?" you hear something in his voice that you haven't before; concern. every time haechan's shown worry or apprehension so far it's been in response to your surroundings, to the people around you. hearing such blatant worry for nothing other than your mental wellbeing only makes the tears fall faster and he doesn't know what to do.

all of his previous clients have been strictly physical protection, nothing similar to the struggles that are currently troubling you. with no clue what else to do, he slips in through the small crack in your door and envelopes his arms around you. the action is unexpected and you tense in surprise before melting into his embrace.

after a few minutes stood by the door, you let him pull you back to your bed, sitting against the headboard so you can rest your head in his lap. his fingers scrape gently through over your scalp and you can feel yourself being pulled into sleep.

a nagging thought in the back of your mind reminds you this is haechan, your bodyguard. nothing more, nothing less, just someone your father employed to keep you safe. in your fragile mental state, you decide to let yourself ignore that one night and let someone care for you.

in the morning, neither of mention the events that transpired the night before. you'd woken up to an empty bed, something you were eternally grateful for as you don't think you handle seeing him again so soon. the morning seems to drag on and you take your time getting ready as a distraction.

haechan had seen you in your most vulnerable state, and even though you hadn't told him the reason for your breakdown, you were sure he could probably guess. it seemed every day you and your father would fight about more insignificant things. it pained him to watch, but it wasn't his place to say anything.

when you finally emerge from your bedroom, haechan meets your eyes and offers you a fleeting smile before his features settle into their familiar glare.

life goes on, you suppose.

a rare type of excitement pumps through you as you stare at haechan through the mirror of your dressing table. recently he'd been spending more time sat in your bedroom than stood outside it. it was a nice change, and you felt less alone when you sit to do homework into the early hours of the morning.

currently, he flips through a book he'd picked off your desk and he frowns at it in confusion. "you understand this?" he mumbles as he stares at the words on the page.

with a laugh, you realise he's reading your intro to classical mechanics textbook and stand to take it from his hands. "that's up for debate."

he watches you push yourself onto your tiptoes to put it back on the top shelf and averts his gaze when the dress you're wearing rides up your thighs. it was ridiculous how you'd convinced him to take you to this stupid college party he was sure wouldn't end well, but here is he. "are you nearly ready? you said it starts at eight?"

you choke down another laugh as you stare at the clock, "haechan," you start with a smirk, "i have to be fashionably late. it's part of my brand."

"your what?"

"my brand," at his still confused expression, you turn back around from the mirror to face him again, "i have an image to keep up."

"whatever you say, princess." the new name catches you off guard and you feel your stomach flip. careful to keep your expression neutral, you stand and grab your bag, suddenly wanting to be anywhere other than a confined space with haechan.

a party, as it turns out, is exactly what you need.

the moment your feet cross over the doorframe, you can feel your worries slip away, replaced by the hum of the music. quickly, you spot some of your friends from college and make your way over, a cup already being handed to you. a few people stare as you walk in, something you're used to, but today they stare for longer than usual and it takes a moment to realise they're staring at haechan.

as always, he's dressed in all black, only he's swapped his combat boots and tactical jacket for black sneakers and hoodie. for a college party, he looks too well dressed, but it's appreciated by many as he walks through the room.

it's clear to you he's unused to this type of attention and you grab his hand to pull him to where you and your friends stand. he shoots you a look before, as usual, starting to survey the people around.

"is this your boyfriend?" a short girl from your business class asks, you think her name is lily–or maybe laila. haechan doesn't hear and you're grateful as you shake your head and explain he's your bodyguard. she raises her eyebrows and scans his profile again. the action irks something inside you that you desperately push down. "is he single then?"

the emotion that shoots through you is so obviously jealously and yet you try and remain nonchalant, laughing it off and acting like you didn't want her to be swallowed by the ground. haechan's there for you, not for anyone else, and you want her to know that.

after flitting around the room talking to different people you know, some who you meet for the first time, you can feel the drinks start to take their toll. whoever decided a bottomless bar was a good idea for a party like this was horrendously wrong, and your head spins whilst a boy talks to you about an apprenticeship he's been offered.

"of course, i don't need the money, that's not why i'm doing it." haechan doesn't fail to conceal his surprise, eyebrows raising as he eyes you over the rim of your glass. you send back a look that you hope says he's an asshole, but in your state, you can't be sure how well you've achieved it. "i'm doing it for the experience." when it's appropriate, you nod along to what he's saying but it obvious you don't care and he leaves for someone else soon after.

"what's his problem?" haechan murmurs into your ear. you have to suppress a shiver at the proximity and shrug as you don't trust your voice.

"hyunjin, hey!" you shout when you spot a familiar face in the see of people, shooting through throngs of people to the tall boy. somewhere along the way to the bar, haechan loses sight of you, craning his neck to try and find the direction you escaped to.

hyunjin’s smile is wide and you fail to notice the pleased sweep of his eyes over your exposed chest. as you speak, he slowly moves closer to you, his breath hitting your neck and making you squirm. suddenly the music seems louder, he seems closer and you try to escape his grip when his hands settle on your waist.

you try to move away but you feel your head spin harshly and you have to catch the edge of the bar to stop yourself falling into him.

"you drunk enough." a familiar hand reaches to snatch the martini out of your hand, a frown taking over his soft features.

despite the displeasure on his face, you’re grateful to see him. he recognises the relief in the sigh you let out, and eyes you with concern. just as he’s about to ask you what’s wrong, hyunjin turns back around from the bartender and seems shocks to see haechan so close to you. he clearly doesn’t realise the man beside you is your bodyguard and shoots him a glare. “we were just heading out, actually.” hyunjin grabs hold of your wrist and tugs you towards him and you can’t help but yelp at the sudden movement.

“get your hands off her,” haechan’s voice is stony and almost unrecognisable. you chance a glance to his face and you feel a lick of fear at the cold glare on his face. if you thought he looked intimidating staring at strangers, this overpowers it tenfold. something dangerous shines behind his eyes and he encases hyunjin’s wrist in his hand, tightening his hold until he lets go of you.

“hey, what’s your problem?” hyunjin’s voice is cocky and you pray he shuts up before he digs a deeper whole for himself. “she wants to come home with me.”

“you think she’s in any state to go home with you, huh?” at the words, hyunjin seems to realise what he’s said and tries to backtrack, failing miserably. “leave her alone, yeah? before i throw you out of here.”

it's silent as haechan helps you back to the car, his jaw set in a hard line. you want to say something to ease the tension but you don't want to upset him. it's not your fault, but the cold look on his face is engrained behind you eyelids and you feel a wave of fear flush through you. you shouldn't be scared of him, but he looked so ready to kill hyunjin that you can't help but feel a new sense of unease next to him.

"are you okay?" he crouches next to the passenger seat after buckling your seatbelt for you, features settling back into the warmth you're used to. no matter how hard you try to hide your expression, he can easily see the fear in your eyes and sighs, letting his head drop between his arms. "i'm sorry for scaring you," he rests a hand on your thigh that has you heart rate speeding up despite your thoughts less than five minutes ago. "but it's my job to protect you, okay?" you say nothing in response.

"can we get pizza?" the shops whiz past your eyes as haechan drives, the streetlights blurring together. he shoots you a sideways look before sighing and nodding, trying to ignore the way your victorious smile makes him feel.

"we'll get takeout, okay? you wait in the car."

you would've listened to him, you really would have, if you hadn't seen a small knife drop from his pocket and onto the pavement. if you were sober, you would've just told him when he returned to the car, but in your drunken state, that knife seemed like haechan's most prized possession.

you slip out of the car on shaky legs, noticing the empty streets with fleeting anxiety but bend down to pick the knife up. right above the hand grip a tiny l.h. is engraved and you smile slightly. just as you turn to make your way back to the car, something hard hits the back of your head and you yelp.

haechan stands in the empty pizza shop waiting for the workers to finish your order. he can still feel the remaining wisps of anger from his standoff with that boy you were talking to, but tries to ignore it for your sake. the posters on the wall catch his attention and he reads about the movies showing downtown, mentally noting the ones he knows you will eventually drag him to see.

the workers are rushing around behind the counter and he sighs, excited to get back into the warmth of the car and finally get back to the house.

the excitement drains out of him when he hears a scream. a scream that sounds identical to yours.

he's outside in a flash, eyes shooting every direction to see where the noise came from. the empty passenger seat of the car catches his eye and he swears loudly. reaching for his knife, he stills when he feels the pocket empty, instead grabbing the pistol from the inside of his jacket.

a muffled cry escapes an alley next to the shop and he sprints towards the sound, turning the corner and seeing you being pulled further into the darkness. for a fraction of a second, his eyes meet yours and the teary panic he sees is enough to have him seeing red. the man pulling you back hasn't noticed him yet and he uses this to his advantage, pulling his fist back and launching it at your attacker's face. it's masked and you're unable to see the damage, but a crack rings out.

you feel infinitely more sober than you did in the car and you try to pull yourself out of the man's arms but your head feels heavy and you sway dangerously. your eyes shut as you fall forwards, the man's arm around you stopping you from falling. the angle gives haechan the perfect shot and you scream as a bang rings out, echoing through your head painfully. the arms around you disappear and you lurch forwards until something catches you. you scream again and try and get away from whoever's holding you.

"hey, hey, it's me, it's me." haechan's voice is like music to your ears and you allow yourself to go limp in his grip, sobs starting to wrack your body. you can feel him carrying you back to the car, the pizza long forgotten. when he places you down in the passenger seat again, you don't want to let go of him and he has to pry your hands off him. "you're okay," he whispers as he holds you, rubbing a hand up and down your back soothing. "we're fine."

even if in that moment, everything feels the polar opposite of fine, something about the way he says it makes you want more than anything to believe him.

the walls of your bedroom muffle the voices from downstairs. haechan had carried you upstairs and settled you into your bed before whispering about a debriefing he had to attend. and now here you sit, alone and shaking, reliving the moments you had thought your life may have been over. there's still a throbbing to your head and you will your eyes to shut and for sleep to overtake you, but every time you try the memories bubble back up to the surface. it's exhausting, but you eventually come to terms with knowing you won't be able to sleep until haechan comes back.

the scariest thing is, every time you think about those last few moments before haechan turned up, you really thought you would never see him again. you thought you would never see the daylight again, and yet your thoughts weren't plagued with messages for your parents, or things you wished you had told your friends. no, the only person you thought of was haechan.

you know what that means, but you try and ignore the feeling growing in your chest, turning over and burrowing your head into your pillows.

for the next hour, you slip in and out of shallow sleep as you wait for the meeting to finish. you're somewhere between the two when you hear the door click and your bed dip beside you. haechan must've known you wouldn't be able to sleep and he sits against your headboard like the last time he was in your bed, pulling your head into his lap gently.

"how're you feeling?" the words are whispered into the air and you hate how much his voice calms you.

"my head hurts." haechan pities the pain in your voice and looks down at the awkward angle of you neck, an internal battle waging in his head.

a few long seconds later and he's slipping further into your bed, pulling you up so your head is resting in the crook of his neck. "c'mere." the position is much more comfortable, and you sigh in contentment, trying to ignore the smell of his cologne that's slowly overtaking your senses.

you bask in the silence for a few minutes, trying to fall back asleep before realising you need to tel him what's plaguing your mind. in the safety of his neck, you mumble to try and conserve the peace in the room. "y'know, i really thought i was gonna die back there–"

"stop." haechan reaches one of his arms around your shoulders and pulls you further into him. the act is so gentle, as if you're made of glass and he mumbles his words into the top of your head. "you don't need to do this."

"but i want you to know," with a sense of desperation, you pull away from his embrace to meet his eyes. they're sad, and you know you probably look like a complete wreck right now, but you can't bring yourself to care. the only thing you can focus on is how much you want him to know his importance in your life. "i didn't think of my parents. i thought of y–"

"stop, really. you'll regret doing this." but you can't imagine regretting telling him anything. you've only known him for a few months, and yet you've never held trust in someone like this before.

sick of watching him avoid your gaze, you bury your face back into his neck and smile at the shiver that rolls down his spine when you speak against his skin. "i never liked them. they never cared about anything i did. i only ever wanted to make them proud, but they wouldn't even listen to me."

haechan's in dangerous territory, and he knows it. he can't sit here and insult his employers, but he's seen the way they treat you. as if you've never done anything worthwhile, but they were never there to see your achievements. he battles his thoughts for a few moments, trying to think of the best response. "they do care for you, they just can't show it well." it's weak, even he can tell, but he needs to say something. he wants nothing more than to shelter you from them, take you away from this house and show you what it's like to have someone be proud of you, to care for you wholeheartedly. but he can't, it's stupid to even entertain that thought.

"you care more than they do," the tone you speak with is bitter, and you pull away once again to look up at him. somewhere in the deep brown of his eyes is an emotion you think is something akin to love, but you think you might be imagining it. haechan's paid to be here, you need to remember. "but then i guess you're paid to."

"hey–" this is exactly where he didn't want the conversation to go, because he can't tell you what he really thinks whilst still in the confines of your house, not where your parents could hear every word.

"i'm not wrong, though, am i? you're only here because they're paying you–"

"i would've left if i didn't care."

you sigh and let yourself fall back into his embrace. "i'm gonna pretend like i believe you, just for tonight." no more words are exchanged, but he leans down to press a delicate kiss to the exposed skin on your forehead. the act is so tender, so familiar, you feel tears line your eyes. it's stupid, to cry at being held like this, but in a desolate horizon, haechan is your beaming spark of hope.

another month floats by and you and haechan continue your relationship than slips so easily between professional and something more than. it leaves you confused a lot of the time, but you try and ignore it, instead deciding to focus on the present.

the present right now leaves you stood in front of a fancy restaurant, a booking for you and one of you childhood friends ready and waiting. "i'll be by the door, scream if you need me, okay?" you chuckle at the serious tone of haechan's voice before hurrying over to your table where jennie sits waiting.

the girl stands when you near her, a wide smile taking over her features as she pulls you into a hug "how have you been? i haven't seen you in years!"

over the first course of food, you catch up about each other's lives, chatting about the various things you’ve been involved in recently. after what jennie deems an appropriate amount of time, she shifts her attention to the boy stood behind you.

"is that your boyfriend." her curious eyes scan over haechan who, as promised, stands by the door, staring at his phone. the sight makes you smile as you realise he's probably playing candy crush or some other stupid game to pass the time.

"no," you chuckle, although you would love more than anything to say yes, to be able to sit and claim him as yours, and no one else's. but you can't lie to jennie, as much as you want to. "it's just haechan, my bodyguard." just haechan sounds wrong coming from your lips.

"bodyguard? your dad's still got a lot of enemies, huh?" jennie shoots you a concerned frown which you try and laugh off. out of all the friends you've ever had, jennie's the only one with a somewhat similar upbringing; moving around a lot, feeling as if your parents are absent for more than half of your childhood. you had bonded over your situations in middle school and had kept in touch even when she moved to new zealand for sixth grade.

just as she's telling you about her new job at a fashion company, you blurt out the question bothering you."does the lemonade taste weird to you?" it's metallic almost on your tongue and it catches you off guard.

"no, i think it's just a bit tangy."

"oh, yeah probably" you laugh airily, but a cold wave on unease washes through you. it's unclear what's causing your anxiety, and you're suddenly confused why you're even on edge. on instinct, you look for haechan and seeing him still leaning on the wall by the door gives you a small sense of calm.

"are you sure? you look a bit–" jennie's words are drowned out in your mind by the wheezing of your throat. it's uncomfortable, as if someone is squeezing your lungs, trapping the air out, and preventing you from taking a full breath in.

"yeah, do you think we could step outside for a sec? i think i need some fresh air." the chair scrapes under you but you ignore it and make a beeline for the side door, clean air the only thought on your mind.

"of course, are you sure you're okay." outside, you fail to find the relief you're looking for and try to swallow down the metallic taste. you find it difficult to, however, and you concentrate on the movement as jennie crouches in front of you. you hadn't even realised you'd sat down.

unable to resist any longer, you give up and speak up in a hoarse voice. "can you go get haechan?" jennie nods and disappears for a minute. in the quiet, the only thing you can hear is your laboured breathing and the distant chatter from inside. it sounds like you're underwater, the voices seem so far away, as if you're sinking.

"what's wrong?" haechan's before you in an instant, hands gripping the sides of your face and eyes scanning your body for any obvious injuries. you try to speak but nothing comes out and you feel your legs give way underneath you, sliding down the wall onto the ground.

"i don't know–" the voice that speaks doesn't sound like you're own. it's hoarse and breathless and you can feel yourself losing the strength to speak again.

"she said the drink tasted weird." haechan's blood runs cold at jennie's words. you don't fail to notice the panic in his eyes and it does nothing to calm your now racing heartbeat. you feel a chill come over you and when you reach your hands up to find haechan's they shake violently.

despite the alarm on his face, his voice is calm and authoritative and it reminds you of the first time you had ever heard him speak. you wish fleetingly to go back to that moment, to be able to meet him for the first time again. "call an ambulance."

"what?" jennie's voice is close by but muffled by your own heartbeat that pounds in your ears.

"call an ambulance and tell them she's been poisoned." you feel his arms gently set you onto your side before his words register in your head. “try and breathe for me, princess.” the action is futile and you try so hard to do as he says but your head feels heavier with every feeble motion of your lungs.

“you’re gonna be fine, baby.” it's the last thing you hear before your hearing gives up on you. haechan's hands finally find you own, skin hot against yours, and you try to squeeze them but you can't get your fingers to move. you feel like a statue, watching the scene in front of play out with no strength to do anything.

black spots start toying at the edge of your vision and you feel the ground beneath your shoulder. you're on your side, you think. but you can't remember moving anymore.

haechan's hands remain in yours and you try to take a breath in, feeling your lungs expand weakly before the last little bit of energy drains out of you. the last thing you see is haechan's face, an expression of terror on his face as he shakes your shoulders. his mouth is moving but you can't hear anything he's saying, instead letting the darkness overcome your senses.

it's calming, almost, the warm embrace of sleep. you feel like you haven't slept in years, maybe never. with an empty feeling settling inside you and haechan’s face burning behind your eyelids, you allow yourself to slip into the blackness.

the first thing you're aware of is a warmth over your arm. and then a beeping. and then painfully bright light shining behind your eyelids. the smell of harsh disinfectant fills your nose and you feel starchy sheets underneath your bare legs. an attempt to breathe in leaves you coughing painfully as you realise your lungs feel like they’re made of sandpaper.

the sound awakens haechan from his light sleep, eyes shooting open to find you squinting down at him. everything is too bright and you try to bring a hand up to cover them before finding it covered in wires. you hand is pushed back down and a cup of water is brought to your lips. it feels heavenly against your dry throat and you try to drink more before it's pulled out of your reach.

"hey, hey, slow down," the familiar tone is a welcome change and you find your mind coming up blank as to where you are. haechan smiles down at you, a soft glimmer to his eyes, one you haven't seen in what feels like so long. "the nurse said you shouldn't drink too much yet."

"what happened?" your voice is scratchy and painful to listen to. the boy before you smiles sadly and sits on the edge of the bed after pushing the barrier down. you've managed to work out you're in a hospital, but you're still unable to place the reason behind your visit.

"you were poisoned." the words trigger something in your brain and your memories come flooding back. the lemonade, the confusion, the darkness. it's the second time you've been close to death, and the second time haechan's been the last thought on your mind. you promise yourself you won't let him slip away, not this time.

"i remember," his fingers interlace with yours, thumb rubbing along the back of your hand. "i thought i was gonna die."

"you nearly did," a new voice enters the room and you turn to see a tall woman in a white coat. "and you would have done if it wasn't for this man's quick thinking." she waves a clipboard in haechan's direction and he looks away, embarrassed to be in the spotlight. "the paramedics knew exactly what they were turning up to, cut a lot of time for treatment.” the words make haechan blush.

the doctor stays for a while longer, explaining your treatment plan and adjusting your medications. she gives you some stronger painkillers and says you should be fine to leave after another night of observation.

as soon as you're alone again, you turn to haechan, only to find he's already staring at you. "you know what i'm gonna say." the words are whispered and you let him move up the bed to lie beside you.

"just say it, get it over with." unlike last time, his voice doesn't sound as hopeless and you wonder if he prepared himself for this conversation. it was inevitable, to be fair.

"you were my last thought." haechan's cologne is strong in your nose as you drop your head onto his shoulder. "i wasn't scared about dying, haechan, i was scared about never seeing you again." the tears fill your eyes and you do nothing to stop them falling onto haechan's hoodie.

his shoulder moves when he sighs, an arm wrapping around your shoulders and your taken back to the last time you were sat like this. "i love you, i need you to know that, okay?" it's all you can hope to hear, but you know he hasn't stopped talking yet. "but i don't know if we can do this."

"why can't we just leave?" your voice is pleading and it pulls at haechan's heartstrings. he wants to badly to give in, but the future would be too uncertain.

"your parents would hunt us down."

"then let's flee the country, i don't care–"

"you can't just leave your parents–"

"where are they?" when you had woken up, you hadn't failed to notice their lack of presence and it didn't hurt as much as it should have anymore. a guilt look passes behind haechan's eyes and he doesn't even need to say it for you to understand.

"on a business trip."

"let's just go, haechan. they don't want us here anymore."

the desperate glimmer in your eyes is enough to convince haechan, who knows he would have agreed to it anyway. he would always agree with you. "if you want to. i'll do anything for you princess."

when you turn to face him, the proximity between your faces is significantly less than what you expected and you find your breath hitching in your throat. it catches him off guard as well and you watch his eyes flicker down to your lips and back up to your eyes quickly. you can’t help but smirk as you lean in, resting your free hand on his chest to push yourself up to meet his lips.

the kiss is warm and comforting and everything you need in that moment. he slips a hand around your waist and pulls you closer to him, using his other one to cup your jaw and tilt your head up. the angle allows you to deepen the kiss and haechan sighs into it. a few seconds pass and your lungs are burning for oxygen.

you break away first, resting your forehead against his and drinking in as much air as you can before leaning back into him. right before your lips meet again, you hear the heart rate monitor speed up and your cheeks burn in embarrassment.

“why is your heart beating so fast?” haechan teases with a laugh.

“shut up.” you huff out before closing the distance one again and meeting his lips with a new sense of hope filling you.

a/n; thank you so much for reading!! it means a lot to me!!

1K notes · View notes

arhvste · 4 years ago

Note

dad hcs with your top 3 HQ boys? 😚

my top 3 haikyuu boys? #exciting 😌

KUROO, IWAIZUMI AND ATSUMU AS DADS

KUROO

he’s always wanted 3-4

growing up the only child in the household with his grandparents and father got a little lonely when he wasn’t with kenma

so you, y/n his wonderful and beautiful wife, fill his world with much more joy by bearing his children

you have 3 so far and phew good luck

two boys and a girl

kuroo has already started teaching your kids his trademark catchphrases

to your despair your youngest son’s first words had been “oya oya”

your face dropped while kuroos hyena laugh roared through the house

“wHY WOULD YOU TEACH HIM THAT”

“because bokuto dared me??”

for the first few weeks all you can hear is little mutters and screeches of “oya oya” and it’s driving you ✨insane✨

kuroo is however good with kids

and he will put a stop to it by giving your kid a pacifier to keep quiet

kuroo would love if his kids took an interest in volleyball

but he won’t force it on them

he’ll support whatever they want to do

your kid wants to try ballet? kuroo will buy several pairs of specially made shoes

art? kuroo is more than happy to hire a whole studio for the day

swimming? he’ll have a pool installed in your house

material arts? kuroo will find a ninja to train your kid

he wants to be the best dad he possibly can for his kids

i’m not saying he plays favourites but he does have a soft spot for his little girl

he will absolutely try and encourage her that boys are the worst and she shouldn’t date them until they get his seal of approval

he has a ridiculously high standard for the type of boy your daughter can date

you could be a high achieving graduate, astronaut in training, saved 36 old ladies on the street and a candidate for president

and kuroo would still be like

“is that it? 🙄”

good luck to your daughter then

he is there for every event

his whole schedule will be made around any birthdays, graduations, shows etc

he will make sure of it

he doesn’t care if he’s scheduled a meeting with the highest world leader

if that meeting falls on the same day as his kids sports game he will not be sat in an office chair but rather in the crowd cheering his kid on alongside you

he wants to give his kids the best in life but he also doesn’t want to completely spoil them

he was raised pretty normally so you and him agreed you should try to at least do the same

however when uncle kenma or uncle yaku babysits his kids 👀

“dad uncle kenma bought me a new pc!”

“uncle yaku bought me a pony!”

that’s it

kuroo will spoil tf out of your kids from time to time just to one up his friends

overall he is such a doting dad

yourself and the kids mean the absolute world to him

and he appreciates you to no end for bringing them into this world

together the two raise such humorous, perceptive and successful children

and he couldn’t be more proud of his family

IWAIZUMI

years of practically babysitting oikawa have prepared him for this

he has the patience levels built up

he is also extremely responsible and level headed

the two of you have 1 son who is 4 years old

the toddler has iwaizumi wrapped around his little finger

iwa denies this though

whenever your son misbehaves or makes a mistake (which is rare btw) iwa is looking down at him sternly

“s/n, you know better than this”

but all it takes it one pout and iwaizumi is all soft again and swoops your son into his arms

lmao i just know he’ll teach your son to insult oikawa

“say trash-y-ka-wa! that’s my boy!”

“iwa-chan stop teaching your baby to bully me i can’t even handle it from you alone 😩”

sometimes iwaizumi takes your son to work if you’re feeling particularly tired or have somewhere else to be

he definitely will wear on of those baby carrier harnesses

that’s kinda hot tbh

bokuto and hinata are all over your kid while iwaizumi is trying to train team japan

while he manages to get both players back over he notices his son is missing from the portable baby chair he brought with him

“omi omiiiiii look! baby germs!”

atsumu is running around with your son securely in his arms while sakusa is SPRINTING away from the blonde shouting profanities at him

needless to say, iwaizumi tries not to bring his kid along whenever serious training needs to be done

he will bring him to more laid back sessions though

iwaizumi is THE responsible dad of the year

he cooks, he cleans and he knows how to handle your son

by now your son has started to develop into his personality more

being around his calm and level headed dad has really rubbed off on him

he doesn't get too overexcited and knows how to behave well

there is something that bothers iwaizumi about your son though

his first words

“iwa-chan~”

iwaizumi’s face dropped when the familiar phrase left his sons mouth

“shittykawa i will FLY over to argentina to personally beat you up”

“it’s not MY fault s/n likes hanging out with his uncle tooru 😗”

oikawa is a doting uncle too

whenever he can he visits your family and spends time getting to know your kid

the nickname ‘trashykawa’ did happen to stick though

iwaizumi considered it fair now that your son called his best friend after the nickname he taught him

another dad who would like if his son took up volleyball, but won't force it

your kid does actually pick it up though

and he’s damn good at it

not to be clichè but he will like the position of ace the best

this is to your husband and bokuto’s delight

iwaizumi will be there for every game and will absolutely let him come to work with him more often as he gets older so he can watch pros up close

maybe one day your kid will end up on the very team his father trains

and he’ll be there alongside you cheering him on

ATSUMU

atsumu is blessed with the gift of twin daughters

hey, twins are in his genes it was bound to happen somewhere down the line

his girls are the most precious beings to him

other than you obv

to him, you are his heart, soul and everything inbetween

he treats his girls like princesses

like kuroo, boys are off the table

“oi if ya think you’re bringin boys home you can think again!”

“baby, it’s only their first day of preschool please calm down 😀”

unless these boys can beat him at setting, they’re not allowed within a 48 mile radius of your daughters

he will defo want you to bring them to his games

put them in personalised jerseys and he will be showing them off to his team and the crowd

every point he scores he’s pointing at you and your girls

“THAT ONE WAS FOR YOU MY PRINCESSES!”

when his team wins he will absolutely bring the three of you out onto the court and pull you all in for a tight hug and shower you all with affection for the world to see

your kids take a liking to sakusa believe it or not

they find his presence interesting in comparison to the other msby players

lmao sakusa will show your girls his flexible wrist trick and they’ll giggle in excitement

“uncle omi is so cool!”

hang on a minute

‘UNCLE’ omi???

atsumu is in shock

“how come’s ya nice to em and not to me omi omi?”

“they take after y/n more than you. they're not annoying and gross like you that’s why”

as he’s apart of the dedicated dad society, atsumu will make sure he’s there for every event he can too

if his games fall on the same day as an event with your daughters you can bet ur ass he is there as soon as his game is over

celebratory drinks with the team? not on his watch when his daughter has a dance recital

any moments he misses when he's playing an away match or can’t get out of training he asks you to record so he can watch it back multiple times later

probably cries when he watches your daughter win her sports match or perform in a dance show

his camera roll is FULL of pictures of you and your daughters

insists on posting them all so he can show the world what a beautiful and loving family he has

uncle osamu makes sure he tells your daughters embarrassing stories about their dad

“and then your dad turned around and told the girls to stop squealin like pigs when they were only showin their support”

“wth dad that's so rude 😠”

“thEY MESSED UP MY SERVE SAMU SHUT UP”

your family is raised super close

atsumu always knew he wanted both of your families involved with his daughters upbringing so he makes sure everyone is included and the two girls are familiar with their whole family

it’s important to him that they’re familiar with his volleyball family too

he loves the fact they're so comfortable and familiar with his teammates

uncle bokuto and uncle hinata are a hit with the twin girls

but its uncle omi who takes the crown for favourite

there is never a dull moment in the miya family

and atsumu couldn’t ask for better people to be involved with his daughters upbringing

requests are open!!

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bluefirewrites · 4 years ago

Note

Okay but regarding the infertile Rose theory, are you thinking Rose made the deal? Ray? A third party who just wants the best for their friend/family? I’m curious

While her and Ray are going through every medical solution they could to help them conceive, her parents are sending the priest at her door for a blessing, her grandmother is cooking up home remedies/ alternative medicines that she’s swears have worked with her friend’s cousin when she had trouble having kids, and even her aunt got a psychic involved.

With all this interventions from her superstitious family, she doesn’t balk at the strange magician she meets at this club Bobby takes her to one night.

It’s far out and the effects are crazy. Some hologram type of shit with performers appearing and reappearing.

Only Bobby could know a place like this...

But the thing is Rose, ironically, isn’t a believer in greater powers like her family, so when this guy, Caleb, tells her that he can use his magic to help her conceive a child, she laughs, thinking it’s going to go as well as her family’s attempts.

“I hear you got an eye for talent, Rose,”

She shrugs “You could say that. I just go to a lot of concerts and link local bands with venues, owned by friends, looking for new talent.”

“You do this for a living?” the man asks, but Rose has a feeling he already knows the answer to that.

“No. It’s just something I do. When I’m not bartending,”

“Interesting. I’m always looking for new acts for my club,” Caleb looks to Trevor, who shifts uncomfortably under his gaze, “He tells me that you pretty much discovered him. Helped him get connected with the right people,”

Rose shares a tense look with Trevor, “Yeah... I did.”

“Humor me for a moment, Rose. I have a way of helping you with your little problem.”

“Oh really?” she’s not convinced.

“Really. And let’s say that if I somehow perform a miracle of life for you. then you can come help me out from time to time. Scouting for talent for my club,”

Rose is already on her third glass of wine and she giggles, “That’s if I somehow have a baby,”

“Why stop at one? You could have two. Or more. I can will it to happen,”

“Look, buddy, if this is some sort of come on, Trevor can tell you that I’m spoken for,” she smirks, tipping her glass towards her friend but he’s refusing to look at her. Why is Trevor acting weird tonight?

Caleb shakes his head, “Just a spell. Rest assured. I mean, what do you have to lose? And I could pay you handsomely for your services,”

“You’re offering me a job? As a talent scout?”

The offer sounds tempting. And she’s been slaving away at two different bars, her husband still in the beginning stages of starting his own photography business.

The world isn’t too kind to artists, and at the off chance if this guy can do what he says, then she and Ray need some money to help start their family. And if he can’t, then there’s always adoption. She wants to be able to make sure she’d have a house for all of them to live in.

And she could always do with adding more music into her life. Working at a club could be fun, the atmosphere always lively...

She really doesn’t have anything to lose.

Besides, this is for fun. A joke. He doesn’t really have magic, right?

Rose looks again at Trevor, to see what he thinks. But he wouldn’t look at her as he threw back another shot.

Caleb holds his hand out and she shakes it, “Okay, put a baby in me, Magic Man.”

He laughs, clapping his hands together, “Brilliant. Let’s get started.”

Caleb seems to have run off, Rose doesn’t remember seeing him go, but he returns in an instant with a book. He recites a few words, raises his hands, and she’s good to go.

“That was weird,” Rose comments as she and Trevor leave the venue, getting into his car.

“At least you got a job out of it,” is his gruff reply.

“Probably all talk in order to show off a party trick. Some drunken promise. Besides, he didn’t get my contact information.”

Trevor turns the key in the ignition, hand tight on the steering wheel, “He’ll find you again. Trust me.”

Rose finds it odd, but they don’t bring up Caleb or the club again.

That is until about a couple months later when Rose finds out she’s pregnant...

There could have been more logical reasons for her to now be able to have a baby, but her mind wanders back to the club and to Caleb. She doesn’t voice this to Ray, just in case he might think she’s gone a bit crazy.

She goes through the pregnancy and is blessed with a beautiful baby girl.

Everything’s all well and good until she gets a call. It’s Caleb, congratulating her on the birth of her daughter before discussing the logistics of her new job, after having settled with the baby of course.

It takes another few months before she’s able to actually meet Caleb. She brings baby Julie with her to the club and she’s startled by a young boy. She barely stops the stroller from hitting him.

“William,” Caleb emerges, addressing the boy, “Why don’t you stick around while Rose and I handle business,”

The boy nods and follows them to the table. She sets the stroller beside Willie who looks at the baby with such fondness. Rose gives him permission to entertain her.

“Hey there, Julie,” Willie whispers. He wiggles his fingers at her and making funny faces.

Caleb sits across the table from them and gets right to it, “Rose I have gifted you with more than just a child.”

“Excuse me? What do you mean by that?”

“I’ve bestowed upon you the ability to see ghosts,”

“Ghosts?”

“Right, ghosts. I am one. Willie here is one. My performers at my club are,”

“Okay, this is fun and all-” Rose starts to get up, hand on the stroller ready to leave until she sees something that makes her freeze.

Willie sticks his hand into the stroller and Julie’s small hands reach for it, only for them to pass through. The boy panics at seeing Rose's reaction and scoots his chair away from the baby.

Scooting. How does he- how does a hologram-?

“Listen, we made a deal and you’re going to hold up your end of the bargain. Here, Lifers like you can see ghosts, but I’ve made it so that you can see them everywhere.”

Rose is shaking now, “Why do you need me to see them?”

“So you can convince them to join my club,”

“Convince?”

“Yes,”

“Why do I have a feeling that it’s not that simple?”

“Just tell any lost spirit with a knack of performing to come here and have their troubles fade away,”

“What happens when they get here?”

“They work for me in my club for all eternity,”

“F-Forever? What if they don’t want to?”

“They will... eventually,”

Rose doesn’t like the sound of any of this, “What if I refuse? This is all... this is all too much!”

“Like I said, we made a deal... you don’t want to know what would happen if you break it,”

“Let’s say I do,”

Caleb crosses his arms, “I’d own your soul,”

Rose stays silent.

“Or... if that’s not enough of an incentive...” he eyes the stroller.

“You wouldn’t,”

“ I’d hate to have to revoke a gift...” Caleb stand up and orders Willie to leave. The boy’s face holds remorse but he still runs up the stairs.

“You start next week. I need you to find me some dancers. Two of them. Could be sisters. Even better if they’re twins. We’ll talk soon,”

Caleb poofs out before her very eyes and Rose has to take a moment to breathe.

How could she have been so stupid? For not taking it all seriously.

And now there are serious consequences.

She looks at Julie in her stroller and she cries. She doesn’t like the idea of sending ghosts to this awful place, to serve Caleb for all eternity. But what choice does she have? She needs to protect Julie.

It’s all for Julie, she tells herself as she approaches a pair of sisters, both ghosts, who have been dancing in an empty theater and hands her the business card.

For Julie, she thinks as she watches from her table in the club as new ghosts shake Caleb’s hand and a stamp burns into their wrists.

And when Caleb hands her the check, the first of many that goes into buying Trevor’s old house, Rose doesn’t object because now finally Julie would have a home, a chance for a good life.

And that’s all Rose could ever hope for.

That’s what helps her sleep at night.

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #jatp hc #rose molina #rose forced to work for caleb #caleb covington #julie molina #trevor wilson #willie jatp #willie playing with baby julie is the only fun part about this #i got carried away!!!!!!!#this turned into a mini fic didn't it #lol #hollywood ghost club

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ashintheairlikesnow · 5 years ago

Text

Dad Fluff: Bad Day

CW: Chronic pain, referenced past torture, Mina is sickeningly cute, and all of the things she does in here are things I have personally witnessed a four year old doing. (I was actually the four year old who did one of the things in this piece - guess which one!)

Danny is busy pitying himself when he hears Mina wake up down the hall. He’d had this idea of what parenting would be like, and lying in bed with agonizing pain ripping up and down his back isn’t it.

Instead, as he’d waited and waited for them to be matched with a birthmom, Danny had pictured waking his daughter (or son - they hadn’t known which the baby would be, yet) with homemade breakfast.

He’d seen himself as being already on his second cup of coffee, settling down at the kitchen table to watch tiny legs swing on chairs too tall.

Danny had pictured asking his child what they had dreamed about the night before, and lying about his own nightmares with ease by then. Never letting on that when his baby needed a nightlight, he still did, too.

Some days - most days, even, he tries to be honest with at least himself - he is exactly the father he wanted to be. But then there are days like today, where his four year old daughter starts singing to herself in her room down the hall and Danny can’t get up to greet her.

“Hosanna, hey-sanna, sanna superstar,” Mina sings brightly in the joyful off-key caterwauling of very young children, and Danny finds a smile. It’s faint and faded and it doesn’t last, as a new spike of pain rips up the right side of his back where a knife once broke off inside him, but he decides to count that one single smile as his first victory for the day.

He should have told Nate to call off class, he really should have, but… the thing was, Nate’s been working on this lecture he’s really excited about - something something World War I and horror in popular culture, there’s a book, something something there’s always a book - forever and his students are all hyped up for it and Danny having a bad back doesn’t seem like a reason to ruin everyone else’s day, too.

It felt like doing the right thing then - pretending to be peacefully asleep while Nate quietly got ready and let himself out the front door after putting Toto out in the fenced-in yard - but in the moment it means Danny lying in bed, in the dark he tells himself he no longer fears because he’s in too much pain to turn on the light, waiting for his daughter to give up waiting on him to come to her room and come looking for him herself.

“Hey-sanna, hosanna, sanna superstar,” Mina sings, and then there’s a pause. Danny closes his eyes against the angry tears, tries to tell himself to stand, but when he moves his legs his back screams at him to stay still and he gives up, letting out a soft, half-broken sob.

“Daddy?” Mina calls. He can hear the sound of her turning the doorknob, the soft sound of the door opening up. “Daddy? Do you hear me singing?”

“Yes, baby,” He manages, his deep voice hoarse and a little cracked. “I’m… I’m in my room, Mina, honey. Can… can you, um, come here?”

Silence, and then the padding of tiny footsteps down the hall, until his own bedroom door slowly opens. He can close his eyes and picture her going up on her toes to turn on the light, and the sudden brightness soothes something that is always jagged in Danny in the dark.

Grown man, afraid of the dark, Abraham whispers in the back of his mind, never quite gone, the ghost that left a parting gift of pain. My fingers never leave your mind.

Around the side of the little dresser his daughter peeps at him and Abraham’s voice is gone as quickly as it came. Mina chases all his ghosts away.

She’s wearing her matching unicorn pajamas that are probably too small by now, but he can’t bear to make her give them up. Her hair is a halo of textured black curls around her head - Danny is supposed to give her back her braids, today, the ladies down at the salon they go to showed Danny and Nate how to take care of hair so very different than their own

He can’t braid her hair if he can’t fucking sit up.

Mina takes him in with wide brown eyes, the largest feature in her tiny round face. She’s starting to lose the toddler babyfat but only just, and the resemblance to his own younger brother in the first days Danny was adopted is… uncanny, sometimes.

Like now, when Mina looks at him and knows what she is looking at.

“You didn’t turn on the light,” She says, softly. “You don’t have your light on the wall. Are you sick?”

“I’m… I’ll be okay, honey. I just have, um, my back hurts… pretty bad today. I thought I’d handle it, but…” He groans without meaning to, it feels like so much energy just to talk. “I’m so sorry, honey. I’m not… not gonna be much of a daddy today.”

Mina frowns at him, her big brown eyes locked on his.

It isn’t supposed to be like this.

Abraham found a way to leave him one last goddamn gift, a present he never unwrapped or asked for and would do anything to give back.

“I’ll get your phone,” Mina says seriously, and comes further in, dragging RiffRaff behind her, the stuffed giraffe with a neck long enough to approach pure absurdity. A gift from Ryan, one among many.

She moves quickly across the floor with her little bare feet padding, a flash of brown stomach showing as her too-small shirt rides up. She has to stretch up again to pull Danny’s cell phone down from the bookshelf, and he watches her, thinking, by next year you won’t have to go on your toes, by two years you won’t want me to be the first thing you see any longer, by thirteen you’ll be slamming doors in my face, will I still be lying here with my back refusing to let me be the parent I wanted to be for you?

“Sad Daddy face,” Mina says, slapping the cell phone down next to him. “Dad would poke your nose.”

“He would,” Danny says, and manages a small smile. “Honey, I’m trying, but I think we have to call Dad back home from work. I can’t… I can’t get out of the bed. I’m sorry, Mina, but it’s not… it’s not gonna work today.”

“Yes it can,” Mina says, with a stubborn set to her jaw she gets from Nate, not that Nate has ever noticed he does it. Danny finds a small smile, at the sight. Adopted or not, Mina is Nate Vandrum’s daughter through and through - already reading some words, already curling up with a book to turn the pages and make up stories about the pictures she sees on the page. Already a serious little girl, a tiny adult.

“I don’t see how,” Danny replies, shifting minutely in the bed, just trying to move onto his side, hissing when his back protests once again.

“We do like when I get sick,” Mina says, softly. “I can open the fridge all by myself and my stuffies and my loveys can sit with us and we can do like when I’m sick.” She considers, and he sees a sudden gleam of mischief in her. “I can have my screen?” She asks, sidling a little closer to the bed.

Danny swallows, and looks down at his cell phone. It’s 7:30 in the morning. The lecture Nate has been planning for happens for his 10 AM class, and he can move his office hours maybe if Danny gives him enough notice to put up a sign…

Hey Nate, he texts, keeping his eyes on Mina, who watches his texting with interest and a clearly increasing certainty that she is going to get exactly what she wants out of this. Bad back day. Fine rn but cn you come home after lecture plz?

“Gonna get to watch princesses,” Mina says, with evident delight. “And eat Lunchables.”

“Sssshhhh,” Danny says, but he can’t quite hold back his own smile in response to his daughter’s. “Daddy being sick isn’t supposed to be something you look forward to, baby.”

His phone vibrates in his hand and he glances down.

Danny, please use full words, that drives me up the wall when you type like that.

“I can’t believe you took the time to write that out,” Danny mutters to himself, but his smile widens even more. He can feel the stretch of scar tissue along his nose and jaw, even this long after Abraham’s death the marks are there, fading but never gone. “Mina, only your Dad uses correct punctuation in his f-... his text messages.”

“Writing is important,” Mina recites in her best impersonation of Nate, pitching her voice hilariously low. Danny laughs out loud despite the way the motion seems to stab whole new little daggers up and down his spine. He’ll be damned if he’ll let a little agony stop him from appreciating his daughter.

Another message comes in and he glances down.

I’ll be home by 12:30. Bringing ramen from the place you like and gyoza for Mina. Do you want me to just cancel and come home now?

No, fine. Just after lunch is good.

Whether Nate believes him or not, he doesn’t know, but he drops back to lay his head down on the pillow, watching Mina watch him right back. “Okay, honey. Dad will be home after lunch. So we just have to… to make this work for a few hours, okay?”

“Okay, Daddy. I’ll be right back.” With that, Mina throws RiffRaff onto the bed next to Danny and goes running back out. All he can do is lay there, feeling spectacularly useless, while he listens and hopes that she isn’t taking this moment to color on all the walls or break a bunch of things or learn how to set the house on fire.

When she finally returns, she is dragging her small travel suitcase - the one with some kind of cartoon character whose name he can’t remember - behind her like an overworked flight attendant at the end of a long day. “Okay… Daddy…” Mina says, comically out of breath. “I brought… everything.”

He realizes she never actually zipped the suitcase when she simply overturns the whole thing and Danny stares, trapped on the bed, as it opens up and dumps a chaotic mixture of toys and food and her favorite blankets onto his bedroom floor.

“Jesus Christ, Mina,” Danny whispers, eyes wide.

“Jesus Christ, Superstar,” Mina sings happily in response. Not a single note is on key, and Danny thinks maybe adoption doesn’t matter and Mina is his child too. “Do you think you’re what they say you are? Okay, Daddy, I got… I got us stuff for sick. Can I get up on the bed with you?”

Danny looks at the roughly mound-shaped pile of things on the floor, then slowly up at his daughter. “Can we… can we do something about all your stuff first?”

“It’s your stuff, too. Look!” Mina digs into the pile with enthusiasm, and the first thing she pulls out is Danny’s bottle of pain medication.

Hi, I’m Daniel Michaelson, and my baby brings me my fucking pain meds. Pin the medal on the father of the fucking year.

“Oh my God,” Danny whispers. Someone is going to psychically know this happened and he’ll lose her, and he can’t lose her, not because of his stupid back, not because of goddamn Abraham fucking Denner-

“I pushed a chair up to the counter and climbed up and got in the special cupboard,” Mina says seriously, giving him the bottle. He takes it with shaking fingers, his heart so gripped with guilt it’s like it has to work harder to beat. “Where you keep medicine. I can open the lock now and I put my feet in the sink!”

Danny is going to hell for being a bad father, he knows it. He knows it, and he knows your four-year-old stood in your sink to dig out your fucking pills, you fucking whiner is going to be the first thing the Devil says to him.

Maybe he’ll get to suffer right next to Abraham.

Maybe Abraham’s the demon set to make him sorry for everything all over again.

“Daddy, stop,” Mina says, looking a little nervous at the look on Danny’s face. “Dad always gets you medicine when your back is bad. Am I in time-out?”

“Um. Uh… no, honey. Just… just don’t do that, um, again. And don’t ever, ever tell Dad you know how to get into the medicine cabinet. Okay?”

“Okay.” Mina drops back down to the pile, and brings up a small bottle of the cold brew they buy in a pack of six at the store. She hands that to Danny, too, taking to her work with perfect seriousness. All he can do is watch her as he swallows two pills dry and then washes them down with the coffee.

There.

An hour, and he’ll be able to move around in the bed, at least, even if he’ll still hurt too badly to get all the way up. His back is like that - on bad days you can’t get rid of the pain, only make it a little less debilitating. Most bad days he can keep himself moving through sheer momentum, and everyone tells him he must be feeling better and he doesn’t know how to tell them that his baseline changed, back when Abraham first held him captive - he and Nate in the woods in Canada.

Long before the blade broke off in his back, there were days of bruises, battering, and beating. He starved and never slept and hurt like hell.

People think pain ebbs and flows, but the tide is never fully out for Danny. There is always a whisper of oceanwater promising a later tsunami.

While he lays there watching her, Mina picks out her stuffies and loveys, one by one, and begins to lay them throughout the bed. In the backyard, distantly, Danny hears Toto barking - the high-pitched bark that means he’s treed something again. At least somebody is having fun, Danny thinks.

“Okay, Daddy,” Mina says, laying a series of stuffed animals carefully around his head and lightly against his shoulders as he forces himself to shift onto his back on the bed, closing his eyes against the way the pain drains all the blood from his face and his fingers, leaving everything cold and numb as it’s his spine where the nerves light up in fire. “You can have RiffRaff today, and Mister Bones, and Zombie Monkey, and She-Ra, and Ugly, and Bo. I’m going to keep the rest.”

Danny takes a deep breath. “Honey, did you leave any of your animals in your room?”

“No,” Mina answers with a shrug. She clambers back down and comes back with her tablet, which she smacks down a little too hard on Danny’s stomach. He winces and hisses, and her eyes go wide. “Oh, your tummy is sick? I’m sorry, Daddy.”

“N-No, baby, it’s okay. It’s… yikes. I’ll pull a, um, a movie up for you, okay?”

“Princess movie!”

“Can we… watch literally anything else, baby?”

Mina juts her lower lip out and sets her jaw. “Princess movie, Daddy.” She says, stubbornly. When Danny responds with silence and a raised eyebrow, she lets the pout go and gives him a disarming, charming smile instead. “I mean, Daddy-can-I-please-watch-princesses?” She asks, batting her eyelashes and everything, the words all run together the way she always does when she has to ask nicely.

Danny sighs, but it’s with a smile on his face. “Yeah, okay, honey. What else do you have on the floor?”

“Um, some toys, and… this!” Mina holds up two matching Lunchables in the air like she’s declaring victory.

Honestly, she probably is.

“Lunchables for breakfast, huh?” Well, there are worse things in the world, Danny thinks to himself. At least it’s not drugs, right? Yeah, there’s a good bar for good parenting, whether or not your four year old prefers Lunchables or… cocaine or something.

“I need these fucking pills to kick in,” Danny mutters, not realizing he’s speaking out loud until Mina turns to look at him, wide-eyed.

“Daddy,” She says, sounding absolutely scandalized. “You’re not supposed to say that word anymore, Dad said-”

“I know what Dad said,” Danny says, gesturing carefully with one arm, moving as few of his back muscles as possible to do it. “Climb on up here, honey. Let’s do Lunchables. I’ll put a dollar in the jar when I can stand up, okay?”

She nods and climbs up with him. Danny carefully opens the Lunchables for her with his teeth gritted. There’s another thing they didn’t tell him, before it was his life - that sometimes even doing tiny things like tearing the perforated opening off the side of a cardboard Lunchables box could hurt so badly. People think they know what a backache is.

They don’t know.

But then Mina takes the Capri Sun and puts it aside and makes herself a tiny ham-and-cheese sandwich using the little cracker in the box, and some of Danny’s stubborn self-pity starts to slide away, eroded by her cheerful smile. “Elsa with the water horse?” She asks. “Can we do that princess movie?”

“Frozen 2,” Danny corrects absently, scanning through the Disney movies on the tablet with casual swipes of his finger. She never asks for the new princess movies, only the ones from before she was born. Once the movie starts, the sound small and tinny coming from the tablet, Danny settles himself back against the pillows and hands her the screen. She pulls out his arm - he holds back the sounds of pain at the stretch of muscle - and then snuggles in against his side, pulling RiffRaff back into her own lap, her fuzzy black hair brushing softly against the roughened scar tissue on Danny’s neck.

He manages to turn his head and kiss her, on the top of her head. “Just a few hours until Dad gets home,” Danny whispers. “I’m so sorry, baby. I’ll be a better Daddy tomorrow.”

He hopes.

Mina is watching the opening previews and doesn’t look at him or even seem to hear what he said.

By ten, Danny’s been able to get up and use the bathroom, at least, and brush his teeth. That’s his second victory, he decides, in a day where they don’t come easy.

Around eleven, right in the middle of Nate giving the lecture he’s been working so hard on, Danny and Mina fall asleep listening to The Princess and the Frog, a firefly singing to the evening star.

Nate comes home at half past noon with the ramen in hand. He sets it down on the kitchen table and lets Toto back in, the scruffy shelter dog all wagging tails and half-wild jumps. Nate gets him slowly calmed down, and listens. “D-Danny? You around?”

Nothing.

“Mina? Baby? Where are you and D-Daddy?”

Still nothing. Nate frowns - Danny hadn’t answered his text asking what kind of ramen he wanted, and he’d thought maybe Danny was playing with Mina in the toyroom and hadn’t heard - but when he checks, they aren’t in there either.

Finally, he heads upstairs, and halfway up he realizes he can hear the tinny sounds of music coming from their bedroom. He stops in the doorway to stare down at a small, scattered pile of plastic horses, a tiny baby doll, dollhouse furniture, and at least one Pegasus next to his daughter’s suitcase for when they travel to see Danny’s parents.

There’s a soft exhalation, and he turns to look at his husband and daughter asleep on the bed.

The tablet has been discarded, off to the empty side of the king-sized bed. It’s still playing the menu for one of the Disney movies, although Nate can’t remember which one this menu screen is for.

Danny is on his side, with his knees curled, some of the age fallen off of his face His hair is a mess of bright red with hints of silver over his eyes - he’s had silvery strands in his hair since Alberta, the first time Abraham held him - and spread out across the pillows. His hands aren’t up to cover his head - he hasn’t done that in a few years now.

Instead, he has one hand curled up against himself, and the other arm flung over his sleeping daughter. Mina has her head under his chin, on her side as well, and her face is buried against his neck and his collarbone. The two of them breathe nearly in unison, and they are absolutely suffocating in Mina’s favorite stuffed animals and the remains of empty Lunchables packages.

Next to the bed, on the side table, is a half-drunk bottle of iced coffee and Danny’s pain medication. Nate swallows - Danny never takes pills until it’s so bad he can’t move or Nate forces him to. Too afraid, even now, that taking a few pills would lead him right back to relying on fuzzying up his mind to shake away the memories that still threaten when the room is dark.

Nate considers just closing the door and heading back downstairs to eat alone, but Toto comes barreling past his legs and runs into the room, taking a bodily leap onto the bed, all forty pounds of him trying to wriggle between Danny and Mina to try and lick both their faces at once.

Danny jerks awake, eyes fluttering and blinking rapidly, pushing instinctively back Mina groans and rolls over, scooting away, trying to slip right back to sleep the way kids sometimes do.

“H-Hey, Toto,” Danny slurs, getting his hands on the excited dog and gently moving him back. “Hey, bud, how did you get inside…”

“I let him in,” Nate says softly, and Danny turns to look at him. His face is pale and drawn, but the smile when he greets Nate is real.

“Oh, hey,” Danny says, pushing himself up onto his elbows. “Sorry to call you home early, I just-... it’s just not a good day for my back. Mina and I decided to… to just take a break in here-”

“Danny, you’ve been in here all day, haven’t you?” Nate sighs. “Don’t l-lie to me.”

“It’s fine,” Danny says, shaking his head. Mina groans again, but her eyes are open now, and she rolls back over. “It’s fine, I’ll do better tomorrow, I’ll… I’ll try harder-”

“Danny,” Nate says, firmly, and it’s only then that Danny seems to realize what he just said. His face pales a little more, making the healing muzzle scars stand out in a ring around his face. “You don’t h-have to. I don’t m-m-mind coming home.”

“Hello, Dad,” Mina says blearily, scooting back to Danny now that Toto is safely sitting far enough back to give her spot back to her, snuggling right back into him. “Did you bring food?”

“I d-did, honey. Have you and Daddy had fun this morning?”

Danny winces, guilt written clearly across his face. “I’ll be better tomorrow, I’ll do better, I can... can try harder-”

“Danny, stop it,” Nate says, a little more edged this time.

“We had so much fun, Dad,” Mina says cheerfully, and Danny turns to look at her, surprised. “We ate Lunchables for breakfast. I always want to and you never let me! And Daddy said a bad word so he has to put money in the jar again-”

“Hey, you said you wouldn’t tell,” Danny says with fake anger, and Mina makes a face at him until he smiles.

“And I got to have all my friends in your bed even though I’m not supposed to and we watched princess movies and I got to pick the movies and Daddy played Stuffy Fight with me!”

“So you d-did have fun,” Nate says gently, and Mina nods.

Danny sits back, closing his eyes briefly, and Nate watches the way his face stills, and knows he’s holding back emotion that wants to write itself there that he doesn’t want to show. Nate sits down, lightly resting on the side of the bed, and slides a hand behind Danny’s head, leaning in to give him a kiss.

“Don’t s-sell yourself short,” Nate says gently. “You’re a g-g-good dad, Daniel Michaelson. Even on b-bad days. But… call me n-next time. Listen to me. You’re a good dad.”

There’s a pause.

Then Mina leans slowly over and says, “I got Daddy’s pills down from the cabinet for him.”

Nate turns to look at her, blinking, as Danny groans and puts his hands up over his eyes. “Oh my God, Mina, I did not ask you and you promised not to tell-”

“Okay,” Nate says, with exaggerated patience. “I am going to pr-pretend I did not h-h-hear either of the things either of y-you just said, and go g-g-get the trays and our r-r-ramen and gyoza. Please n-n-never explain it to me. Ever.”

Danny nods without taking his hands down.

Nate gets all the way downstairs, gets the food settled on the TV trays, and Danny has slurped up his first bite of noodles when Nate finally sighs and says, “You know wh-what, I lied - I need to know exactly how you explain-”

“I didn’t tell Daddy until after I did it,” Mina says brightly, picking up the little fried dumpling with her fingers.

“... and there it is. Let’s eat b-b-before I panic, at l-least.”

“I know how to open the special lock! I can open under the sink now, too!”

“... okay, too l-late, I’m panicking now.”

#whump #I feel like I want to call this parenting whump #emotional whump #trauma recovery whump #tw: chronic pain #tw: references to past torture #original fiction #dad fluff #epilogue #mina vandrum #mina and her dads #writing #oblique references to things that haven't happened in the Bad Arc yet

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worthless-weight-in-gold · 4 years ago

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theres no tag that i know of to talk abt muses’ types and dealbreakers so heres one. i made it. be the change you want to see in the world

jim, with the exception of 2 AUs, doesn’t date men younger than him. he also significantly prefers men taller than him (not a high bar) and who are physically strong. for actual romance, he only gets interested in men he views as intriguing/a mystery and wants to know more about -- bonuses for being either hypermasculine, has never taken a bubble bath in his life, probably has internalized homophobia or go the opposite and be able to recite poetry off the top of your head and take care of your cuticles. deal breakers: not being exceptionally intelligent, lack of passion, consistently standing up for yourself

daniels doesn’t have any interest in romance. i don’t think she’s entirely aromantic, but she really doesn’t have a type or necessarily dealbreakers that are different than just friendship ones deal breakers: maybe not wanting to live with dogs as the only additional one.

porter has a lot of different types -- he gets into people easily but it doesn’t often develop into something more. deal breakers: wanting a lowkey relationship, being uncomfortable with PDA. this man would show OFF a partner

sanjit is won’t develop romantic feelings for a woman as he tends to view all women as daughter figures. in general his type is a little bit lost and a lot bit hurt. if you would benefit from and take care of an emotional support dog he might get a crush on you deal breakers: immaturity, wanting a FWB or mostly sex-centered relationship

riah’s type is cocky, not emotional, extremely competent, has no desire for a serious or long-term relationship, and challenges her. she is capable of getting into a serious relationship but it will be a very slow process and you’ll likely have to wait at least a year before she considers you her significant other, and likely even longer than that before you find out she does deal breakers: crying easily, not taking jabs back, moving too fast, won’t spar with her, having strong insecurities, being too similar to her sister, being particularly snuggly, wanting to move in together completely at any point... the list goes on

bruce’s type is... someone he can be completely himself with, which is already a basically nonexistent list outside of his family. someone he doesn’t feel like he has to guide or take care of either, but rather someone who can really stand on his own. someone he can just relax around and stop having to think about everything. deal breakers: rushing things, not wanting kids (like c’mon he literally already has some...), keeping secrets from him (even though he’ll for sure keep secrets from them)

min-jee wants someone to curl up with her in fuzzy pajamas and nap the day away. she does have a preference for women but if a man is soft enough she might get interested in him. mostly she’s looking for ‘spraying whipping cream into each other’s mouths while giggling over how bad the cake you both tried to bake turned out’ kinda love deal breakers: lack of sense of humor, opposed to soppy stuff or cliche dates, not being a sub, lack of commitment, not being understanding of how busy she is

eun yoo says her type is cool strong men but actually has a soft spot for the losers and outcasts. boys who get bullied, or who have family issues, or who just have their noses stuck into books too often to make friends are likely the ones she’ll get actual crushes on. dealbreakers: cruelty to children or animals, demanding respect, treating her like she’s stupid.

thespian’s type is someone who makes them smile and they feel safe around. also someone who wants to play with their hair and is willing to try weird things and go on bizarre adventures deal breakers: being cruel, being a homebody, not having patience when it comes to explaining things to them they don’t understand, being quick to judge

@epiitaphs do this or im divorcing u. im tagging @rp-military-hunter @consultingsister @strangerinourmidst @corruptaxpoliticus also but there is no threat accompanying it for yall feel free to ignore if u want <3

#q #information | { all muses }

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nomolosk · 5 years ago

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Sad AU

Hawkmoth wins

In his wish, Gabriel specifies that time should reverse to shortly after he became Hawkmoth and everyone’s memories wiped

Emilie is restored to health, but Marinette is wiped from history- and Adrien’s memories remain

Adrien becomes an emotional mess for a while, causing Emilie concern. Gabriel tells her he had a mental breakdown due to her illness, and he’ll get better now that she’s cured

Adrien manages to get out of the house once even without Plagg’s assistance, and he goes straight to Tom and Sabine’s. He collapses in a crying heap when they tell him there’s no one living there by the name of Marinette. They’re concerned and close the bakery until they can figure out what is up with this crying teen boy they’ve never met and figure out who his parents are

He begs them not to call his parents- specifically, his father- but eventually caves and tells them who his is. He tries to tell them about their daughter Marinette, but they think he’s mentally unstable, and while they treat him kindly, obviously don’t believe him

Gabriel shows up in person to collect him, thinking that if Emilie saw him this way she was bound to start asking uncomfortable questions. He’s very cold to Adrien and Tom and Sabine pick up on this (not that it’s hard) and urge him to be a little kinder to someone who can’t help the way they act

Adrien refuses to go back home with Gabriel, and runs away from the bakery, too, when he realizes that Tom and Sabine, though kinder to him, don’t- in this timeline- have any reason to protect him from his father

He goes first to Nino, not remembering that Nino wouldn’t remember being friends with him

Nino is weirded out and first assumes that Adrien is some kind of stalker- which is weird because he’s a literal famous model, one would think that type of person would *have* stalkers, not become one- until Adrien starts babbling on about everyone in his class, including some girl he’s never met and doesn’t remember. He hesitantly agrees to go get some ice cream with Adrien to find out more

Nino calls Alya at Adrien’s insistence to join them. He and Alya aren’t dating, but he finds himself more than okay with the idea of dating her, so he doesn’t really mind

Alya is extremely suspicious, but Adrien knows a lot of details that he really shouldn’t- scary details, like the names of her little sisters, for example, and what it’s typically like to babysit them. She completely believes that they would be capable of turning Paris into a zone of chaos should they ever somehow get evil magical powers

After Adrien tells them the story of how they got together- both of them know without a doubt that Kim would absolutely offer to race a panther, though the polka-dotted hero is a bit of a stretch- Adrien suddenly gets a thoughtful look on his face

He had just been saying that Kim and Alix are constantly betting against each other- something else that is true, though neither of them remember any race involving a pocket watch

Suddenly, Adrien stands up and says he needs to see Alix pronto

Nino and Alya tag along, and it’s really starting to weird them out how Adrien knows exactly where to go to get to Alix- not at her house, but at the Louvre. Nathanael is there, too, drawing inspiration from the artwork. Alya and Nino share a glance when Adrien casually greets him, and he looks startled

Alix is surprised to see them, much less the famous model who seems to be the one looking for her. She’s surprised and suspicious when he asks to see the pocketwatch she got for her 15th birthday recently. She pulls it out, but holds on to it.

Adrien knows it’s a gamble, since in the other timeline the miraculous was damaged, but he has to know. Suddenly very calm, Adrien tells her to say these words, and these words exactly: “Fluff, clockwise”

To everyone’s surprise- except Adrien’s, a fact that doesn’t escape Alya- Alix is enveloped in a bright blue-white light and is replaced with a masked individual in a blue and white skin-tight suit, carrying a white umbrella. Adrien breaks down crying again, while everyone else loses their mind

Adrien pulls it together when Alix whacks him over the head with the umbrella, demanding to know how he even knew about her pocketwatch, much less that it could do *this*

He tells her the detransformation phrase, and Alix returns to normal, but Fluff also appears, glaring at Adrien. She recognizes Adrien as one of Plagg’s holders- he has that aura about him- and reads him a lecture about a time and a place, and secret identities

Alya, Nino, Alix, and Nathanael stare at the small, floating *thing* that inexplicably turned their classmate into what looked remarkably like a superhero, as it yells at the crazy model- who suddenly doesn’t seem quite so crazy

Adrien starts asking about timelines and whether they can be restored without messing anything else up. Fluff gets confusing in her replies, but Alix finds herself understanding it anyway. The upshot of all this is that no, the timeline can’t be restored without messing things up further- there are lots of references to some kind of wish and keeping the balance

Adrien, crying again, finally asks if there are any timelines where he and Marinette are happy. Fluff, taking pity on him, tells him that time is complicated, and that yes, there are hundreds of timelines currently occurring where he and Marinette are happy. She doesn’t tell him about the many thousand timelines also happening where they are not (for obvious reasons)

Adrien calms down again, seeming to shut down now that he has no immediate goal. Nino, Alya, and Alix start questioning Fluff, while Nathanael comes to sit down beside Adrien

After a while, Adrien starts talking to Nathanael, asking whether he’s met Marc yet, and suggesting that they start writing a comic together once they meet

Emilie eventually shows up at the Louvre, tipped off by fans who spotted Adrien there, but Alix has taken them all back to her house for privacy, and it’s only by asking around that Emilie discovers where her disturbed son has gone. She shows up at Alix’s house

Adrien is in the middle of telling them all how Chloe- of all people- became a superhero, when Alix’s dad lets Emilie in. She overhears enough to know that Adrien has knowledge of kwamis and miraculouses that he really shouldn’t have. Adrien freezes when he sees her, the expression of mingled love, despair, and guilt that she’s seen so often since her cure, on his face.

Disregarding the others, she comes to sit beside Adrien, a troubled look on her face, and asks him point blank what Gabriel did. Adrien tells her

The kids are all horrified by what they hear- a years long battle against a supervillain, all of them becoming first victims and then eventually heroes in their own right, only for all of it to be for nothing and the one person who could have fixed everything wiped from existence

Emilie starts crying not far into the recital, and by the end she’s apologizing and telling Adrien she would take it all back if she could. She promises him that they will leave Gabriel, and that he can go to school and stop modeling and live a normal life. She also formally introduces him to Dusuu, who spends some time spinning about with Fluff, who came back out of hiding when Dusuu appeared

Emilie brings Adrien back home, where Gabriel appears suspicious until Emilie says that she wants Adrien to go on pyschiatric medication since he’s obviously more disturbed than she had initially thought. Emilie and Adrien pack in secret and leave in the middle of the night, Emilie retrieving the butterfly miraculous and the grimoire from the safe before they go

Earlier that day, Emilie had called a lawyer and started divorce proceedings. Gabriel wakes up to an empty house, save for Nathalie, and a letter wherein Emilie explains everything and tells him she doesn’t want to see him until the divorce is final

Adrien gets to go to school, where everyone is surprised that Nino, Alya, Alix, and Nathanael already seem to know him. Chloe is appalled, but Adrien takes her aside and tells her to just go with it- and to start being nicer to others- if she wants to stay friends with him

Over time, Adrien spills more and more stories about Ladybug and Chat Noir’s battle against akumas, and eventually Nathanael suggests that Adrien should write them all down. Now that he isn’t a model, he could earn some money by getting them published. His stories, once edited and properly marketed by the Graham de Vanillys, become a popular book series

Adrien always misses Marinette, but eventually he and Kagami meet and since he doesn’t have Ladybug or Marinette, he decides to try being happy with her. He also becomes a full member of Kitty Section until they break up once everyone graduates and goes to university

Gabriel’s company fails, largely due to the scandal of his wife and son leaving him suddenly, and his inability to concentrate on his designs while searching for the guardian of the miraculous so he can make another wish

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug fanfiction #AU #Sad #Gabriel got his wish #but did he really #Adrien will be okay

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