#he would keep the distance btwn them | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lakesbian · 4 months ago

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you know what. im going to follow my heart so we can move on with the wormread and just copy-paste what i said about danny in chapter 6.9 on discord with some minimal editing because it's not pretty but the general thesis is there and i don't feel like making it into proper paragraph form

okay so the thing thats fucking killing me abotu 6.9 is that danny is literally like. he tries to call taylor a nickname only her mom called her once he realizes he's fucked up bad and is trying to recover whichi s insane [because it's obviously going to be upsetting to her by reminding her of her mom being gone, and it also indicates that his fall-back for something going wrong w/ taylor is to try to appeal to her by poorly copying someone else's parenting style] and he also randomly tells her about how her mom wanted to move her a grade ahead but he wanted her to stay in school with emma to make her happy. and he's been Stewing On That despite knowing it's objectively not his fault (and i am reminded of how in his interlude he spends time Stewing about how he wishes annette were there to give advice) and he also cops up to the fact that that the whole thing about "being her parent and not her ally" (<- demented thing to say for obvious reasons) wherein he locks her in a room and demands emotional vulnerability from her even as she's becoming visibly upset & compares his actions to emma's was her grandmother's idea and then. here's the real kicker. once lisa shows up and prepares to take taylor away there are any number of actions a parent confident that they're doing the right thing for their child would normally do in response--not, like, Good actions, but things that a parent would be likely to pull. threatening to call the cops bc blah blah you're my daughter, wanting to speak to lisa's parents, any form of power move pulled over these two teenage girls but instead he speaks to lisa like she's an equal authority over taylor and seriously asks if she's "okay with this" (i should remind you of the concussion chapter where lisa is doing some insane power move shit over taylors dad covertly establishing herself as more competent at caring 4 her than him lmao) which is just like. it's so glaringly wildly obvious how this guy has Zero confidence in himself as a parent so he generally does nothing and then while he's doing nothing he oscillates btwn rationalizing it to himself as allowing her privacy/dignity, getting angry at himself/calling himself a coward, or getting mad at TAYLOR and blaming HER for not being the one to take initiation to be vulnerable with him and, like. he literally does make functional decisions prior to this for a bit! he's good and supportive at the meeting with the school board about the bullying!!! but it doesn't immediately solve literal years of distance between them that have led to taylor having to take decisionmaking for her wellbeing entirely into her own hands w/o being able to tell him about it [& having literally no route for human connection or support other than the undersiders] so he just completely crumbles on his own calls and seeks out/takes completely shit advice from taylor's grandma instead so i very much think what's insinuated here is like. especially given that he knows he has anger issues and never wants to Be Scary with them. he might have frequently leaned on annette for parenting decisions before she died and/or is really fucking haunted by the time(s) he didn't listen to her and it went wrong and now that she's gone he's just kinda floundering and trying to toss the baton for parental decisionmaking onto anyone else, including, at one point, the literal teenage girl who shows up to help taylor run away from his house. insane ! also. thinking about how taylor says her grandma (maternal) never liked her dad. that man would literally rather talk to the mother of his dead wife, who hates him, and take her advice than go 'yeah ithink im gonna keep using my own judgement for compassion towards my daughter' fucking worst anyones ever done it this guy has the spine of a twizzler it's great

...and then doing All That & severely triggering taylor's trauma from the bullying in the process completely shatters any trust he had built with her, catalyzing her realization that she wants to be able to have meaningful relationships with the undersiders & leading to her running away to leave with them! i don't think anyone can say for sure whether or not danny Not doing this would have led to taylor turning the undersiders in before realizing that she would regret it, but oh fucking boy does he make SURE she doesn't go thru with it. and it would be bad to call the cops on a bunch of systematically neglected traumatized teenagers regardless of how much crime they're doing so you know what maybe we should actually thank danny for his Shit Parenting stopping taylor from being a narc

#wormtime 2 #wormtime 2 arc 6 #wormblr #parahumans #read my disparate danny analysis boy

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silantryoo · 7 months ago

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as much as im annoyed by the potential implications of the mhj/hybe drama i do feel like theres way too much speculation rn ... rlly doesn't sit so well with me that everyone is bashing on mhj alone (im not supporting her either though) and not bang sihyuk too. some hybe stans rlly js worship the guy and idk why . its not like he's innocent too. like those texts from him are so annoying too. abt if she's satisfied that nwjns is so popular and also abt trying to rival aespa / bp alone ...

hybe has sm power and r known for their mediaplay so i rlly do wish people would keep that in mind instead of doing their own speculation to bash on mhj . we don't know fs if she's the reason behind seunghan, youngseo, etc .... it seems so forced that everyone just collectively is making stuff up on their own theories and pissing on her. like im all for it when everything's done with but it's giving misogyny to me ughhh idk how to explain it eitherr without sounding like a mhj stan I PROMISE IM NOT TAKING HER SIDE T_T i just cant help but feel like poeple find it easier to hate and bash on women sometimes. even me scrolling x nowadays feels so annoying. literally feel so bad for illit and nwjns rn.

personally i was a teeny annoyed that illit had a similar image to nwjns w their nostalgia/coquettecore (also though just seems like cute/youthful concept is making a cb in general in kpop) but only because their songs on super real me were the exact type of songs i liked most from nwjns (super shy, hurt etc. the softer less peppy songs compared to hybe boy) so it bothered me that there was an implication that nwjns might be forced to distance itself to a more differing concept to keep some contrast btwn the two ... but ik that's not illit's fault at all (literally love the girls sm im a runext fan ^^) i feel like i can understand the upset that illit was getting a similar concept when every other grp before illit in hybe had more defined concepts seperating each other. but once again that's all hybe's doing ...... seeing the choreographers supporting mhj too makes it seem like not even the nwjns team or even all the staff were on board with the references in the choreo either...

anyways i do hope this controversy doesnt impede on either grps promos :( and i rlly hope everything gets sorted out... im srsly hoping this doesnt turn into a 5050 situtation again but with nwjns i was so upset when that happened . was curious on what your thoughts were or if u were keeping up with everything?

the way im coming back to reply to this first thing after my exams is insane, but this nwjns thing makes me so angry for all the idols under hybe. both parties j cares sm ab money that they're blindsided by the potential of ruining their idols careers, mental health and images. mhj is being stupid and hybe does seem to be doing anything to protect nwjns (as far as we know. i could be wrong).

(yawl, jsyk i obv dont have ALL the information. from what ive seen online and the articles ive read, this is what I THINK. ME. youre free to think smthn else, whether i agree or not.)

i def thing that bang hyung sik (bhs) isn't innocent either. although min heejin (mhj), in my opinion, is more in the wrong j based on the treatment of other idols, bhs seemed to provoke her, and on top of that, the company seems to blindly support ppl and give them a platform so long as they make profit for the company. ive been seeing a lot of ppl saying hes j human but youd think theres a reason why mhj got kicked from sm, yk? and you j took her back in w open arms.

hybe is v good at media play fs. its their forte, and ppl seemed to stray from the from the main problem. mhj is using nwjns as a weapon. hybe probably is doing the same thing w their other groups too, dont get me wrong. ppl seem to forget that this entire issue isnt "drama", its a legal battle ensuing between a huge corporation and its subsidiary. hybe has infinite power compared to ador. its horrible on both ends.

the thing is tho, mhj has consistently been showing the public red flags. the lyrics of 'cookie (ik she didnt write the lyrics but shes the ceo. she got them approved)', the portraits gifted to her of naked underaged girls, her obsession w olivia hussey (who happens to look like minji), her treatment of sm employees, her past work w shinee (sexualization of underaged taemin), etc. not to mention her extremely (at least in my eyes) inappropriate relationship w nwjns. the gifts shes gotten them and how she uses their emotions as a weapon. if bhs did that, everyone would be up in arms.

i dont think (for the most part) this is misogyny. i think ppl alw had a weird feeling about her. at least i did.

idt its good to speculate on ppls departure tho. youre def right ab that. the lsfm hate train (esp the coachella one) most likely has nothing to do w mhj. and i do agree that hybe copied or was at least inspired by nwjns, but idt illit copied them. illit and nwjns have a very 'pinkpantheress' sound, the uk early 00's bedroom pop genre. however, nwjns is more y2k and illit is more dream-like, ykwim? hybe was def inspired by nwjns tho. i think a more fitting one would be tws tbh. their sound is v similar to me (emphasis on to me) than illit.

dont get me wrong, it's incredibly shady and the way that a lot of staff are on her side makes me think that hybe was leeching off of the success of nwjns. it referenced all girl groups under hybe tho, lsfm and fromis, but there was def more nwjns references.

what im worried ab the most are the groups, esp nwjns. lsfm has been going thru their own struggles and rn this isnt the best for them, but theyre not extremely involved in the situation, not like nwjns and illit. illit, from what ive seen, has majority of the success and recognition from overseas. however, their success in korea'll take a huge hit. itll def take a toll on the girls mental, considering they j debuted and this happened.

nwjns is the worst off. theres a chance they might leave w mhj if ador does pull away from hybe, which isnt in the groups best interest. mhj's press conference and overall attitude is gonna affect their upcoming release fs, and their proximity to mhj herself is worrisome.

hybe doesnt seem to be doing shit to protect their artists, they're j protecting their name. theres no statement on or for illit, no statement on malicious comments for any of the groups (that i know of).

tldr: min heejin and hybe are both at fault. dont take sides of either, take the side of the idols.

sorry, im j so passionate ab this. the shit ive been seeing online has been making me mad. after getting back from the lsfm hate train too... as mad as i am at mhj, hybe GAVE her that platform. if the things they claim is true, and if the speculation is true, they alr knew from her past employment that she was shady. its their fault for allowing that.

#—silan replies;#j a little rant :)

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honestlyvan · 6 months ago

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id be really interested to see you talk about the dynamic btwn Haseo and Ovan + how it changes over time, love ur dothack thoughts so far

(Now on DW!)

I had to take a vigorous walk around the block and a shower before I could sit down to write this, lmao.

God, nonny, they are So Much. An unbelievable amount, even.

To step back from the mythical framing for a little bit and to just look at them as people, one of the things that makes me bark like a dog the worst is how all of the Epitaph are all circling and struggling with the similar kinds of of identity issues -- presumably being the reason the Epitaphs attached themselves to them, there's no room in the mind of people who are too secure in who they are to carry the duties of a Phase with them.

Each of the Epitaphs represent the temptation to fall into a variety of self-protective but futile failure modes that let you define yourself on your own terms but ultimately limit growth, and while I have thoughts about all of the Epitaph users and how they interact with each other, I definitely think Haseo and Ovan get the version of it that is the most brutal in its compatibility.

For Haseo, Skeith represents a temptation to do as thou wilst, to eschew a communal and social identity in favour of only exclusively defining himself -- which is, incidentally, how Ovan comes across initially. You could not find a guy who moves through the world with more assurance and less need to explain himself. Ovan appears to have a kind of singularity of identity that nobody else can get a word in edgewise -- and Haseo, who spends a lot of time feeling off and unsure and wordlessly anxious about having lost sight of who he is, that's like the holy grail.

Of course, the reason Ovan is so singular in his identity is because his sense of self is practically transparent and he exists almost exclusively as the life-support system for a machine that makes Aina happy. From the start, there's no way for Ovan to recognise Haseo the way he wants to be recognised because Ovan barely knows who he is, let alone what Haseo sees in him that is so admirable because Ovan is just reflecting back the thing Haseo wants to see in himself.

Because in contrast to the fundamental mistake in Haseo's thinking, Ovan is very clear-eyed about what Haseo is like. That's one of the core paradoxes of his character, he's very good at reading other people and completely oblivious to how they read him back. He's great at anticipating and manipulating people's behaviour, but is critically disconnected about how he should feel about the way other people feel about him. Haseo needs to see him as something to chase and grow into? Okay, if that's what he needs to be, it's as simple as that. The terms of their relationship are set forever now.

So, in a way, as much as Ovan's plan relies on Haseo growing as a person, as much as he frames it in those terms, what he actually needs is for Haseo to stay exactly the same. Stay exactly on the terms that Ovan needs him to stay on for his plan to succeed. Ovan can never let Haseo reach him because that would change the terms of their relationship, and make him truly unmanageable.

Which, really, is just how Ovan deals with everything in his life. He keeps it all at a distance, because he doesn't really have a sense of self to let people close to, except in the sense that he knows everything that has happened to cause this situation has been done by him, and that the only way to set it right is to find a way to cross himself out again. And if he has to let Haseo catch up to him, it's explicitly so Haseo can be his executioner, and help him rectify the mistake of existing in the world in the first place. Corbenik, the meaning of life and death, can only exist in the void.

And tbh, if Ovan's plans had actually worked out on the timetable he intended them to work out on, I think Haseo may have been fulfilled by that. From the start, he sees himself as the aspirant to Ovan's paragon, wants to reach him through his own effort, to exist in the world the same way he thinks Ovan does.

However, the rest of Haseo's arc is learning that none of us exist in the world alone. That we are defined by the experiences we have with other people. If he reaches Ovan and Ovan is no longer there, what does it still matter to have reached him?

#van's answers #anonymous #dothack #.hack//G.U.#GU spoilers #Ohase #*lying on the floor* I feel unwell about them #This was the playthrough that really made me feel unwell about them

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jayflrt · 7 months ago

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i feel like i've seen a good amount of people bashing them both but we could have different tls maybe !! but yeah i don't know why there's so many hybe stans 😭 it's been this way for a long time + armys idolizing bang pd back when bts was the only group under bighit. i feel like everyone needs to just accept that all these companies are trash and you can't be defending ceos

i do get what you mean because women are often criticized far more when those same things would be overlooked if a man did it,, however i don't think that's the case here 😭 because 1. she has an extensive history of s3xualizing minors back from when she was in sm and 2. it was revealed that she and bang pd bought out source music to debut a girl group so it's not that far-fetched to say that she could have sabotaged the trainees from source music, especially after she said that she didn't want to debut sakura because she was "too old." some of the other theories people are making definitely don't have much of a basis but i think most people also recognize that the main victims of all this are newjeans and illit + the other groups mhj dragged in with her. so yeah i wouldn't call it misogyny that people are going after min heejin, and honestly i'm even more surprised that people just forgot about how she sexualized shinee, red velvet, jisung, and newjeans and only started calling her out after this incident 😭 she's always had a LOT of defenders and personally i've never felt the need to defend billionaires :/ also mhj's a businesswoman who knows how to play the media herself. you can see it even in her press conferences; she's bringing up different groups to take attention off of herself and talking about her "relationship" with newjeans to garner sympathy from everyone

i think hybe definitely was shady for greenlighting illit's concept when it's clear there was inspiration from newjeans. i personally just assumed they discussed this with ador but i guess not?? so weird that they don't act like proper adults in that building. i'll also say that i don't think min heejin's concept for newjeans is original or considered "hers" but since most people associate that concept with newjeans, it's safe to say that illit's creative director probably got it from newjeans anyways. another thing about hybe tho is that i don't think they've been doing strong concepts for their groups. txt did have a strong one initially but bighit just stopped trying for them (probs bc their team got moved to source music 🥲) i think belift did a good job with keeping the vampire concept for enha consistent and i was initially scared that it would stop after hybe fully acquired cj enm, but i think they've recognized that enha just has too much connected to their vampire concept (their webtoon, storyline for their music videos) but enha's also been neglected by hybe a lot so screw them 🚶‍♂️

i hope this issue doesn't mess with comebacks either :/ it's like suspiciously right before newjeans' comeback, which throws me off because i feel like there's always some shit min heejin's pulling right before or during their comebacks (ex: inserting herself in the OMG music video at the very end) and it's so weird to me how she always talks about them as if she's the sixth member 😭

#💌 : love notes #anon

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destinyc1020 · 7 months ago

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Late wordy confession! I’ve been thinking about the differences of the 2 press tours from Zendaya this year specifically how she interacts with the Challengers boys vs. Timmy for Dune.

Sure when Dune first came out there were people who shipped Timothee and ZendayA but that’s also because people heavily believed tz were pr for spider-man. it’s been 3 years since that. So I was definitely shocked how she acted towards Timothee during the tour. Also the fact they were hardly paired together during interviews even though this movies big push was the love story. I think she requested to not be paired alone with Timmy unless absolutely necessary. But I also think that the separation is what helped fuel a lot of their kissing questions. If they had been paired together i think they could’ve handled the topic and redirected to the actual film plot similar to how they handled those type of questions during the first press tour to the point that wasn’t the focus after a while. It felt heavier this time because they were separated and having to deny it with co-stars who had nothing to do with the situation in a movie that was pushing a love story we rarely got to hear the leads talk about together!

Then you have the separation for Jesus when they were on the carpets and press calls where Z didn’t even turn towards Timothee like he was there at all. It felt more obvious than the first tour where she at least seemed like she wanted to be there. I really would think maybe she does hate him because something happened in the months from Darnell’s party to the tour and the accounts on here are correct about her dislike for him. but there are videos of them interacting more comfortably when there aren’t cameras focused on them at various events during the press tour. So they are still friends and they’re acting like that why?

When you compare it to Challenges where Z is easily interacting with those guys and it feels more like her energy from Dune 1 I was even more confused. I was assuming that after how she was with Dune2 she would be even more stiff with the guys for this tour considering the reception of that first trailer, but she hasn’t been. there’s still a boundary in that trio but it’s more approachable.

Why at this point is Timmy the only one getting this distance? They never did anything to make people believe anything was going on with them (not line the Bones &All or Queen Charlotte leads etc). There doesn’t seem to be any bad blood between them. Like they even matched their fashion for the tour and he’s one of her only co- stars even game to attempt that. Those jumpsuits in Korea were so good for a reason. It’s her boundaries to set and I am happy that Timothee doesn’t seem like an asshole who purposely would try to make her uncomfortable in public and just engaged more with other co-stars so the distance didn’t seem weird to the gp.

i just don’t get how long she’ll push this with him specifically. Or what is really prompting her to be as far from him as possible in public. It can’t be one group of z fans who hate Tom everyone stalks on here from Twitter bffr. We of course will never truly know but looking back at it now I really don’t get it.

Whew! This was a long late Sunday Confession Anon lol 😅

Like I said earlier this month about this topic, I really don't think that the interactions btwn Z and Timmy were as "weird" as some fans are making it out to be during the Dune Part 2 press tour.

I already provided significant evidence in my post here (below) that they (the entire cast imo) seemed just fine with each other?? 😅

I've theorized however that I think Z and Timmy tend to keep their "distance" (if you can even call it that) when the cameras are rolling on them because they are very acutely aware of the insane shipping of their two huge fandoms. I personally think it makes them a bit uncomfortable.

Also, I don't think Z asked to NOT be put with Timmy during DP2 press... WTH?? 😅 You don't usually get to make those types of decisions when it's the studio who's PAYING you to promote THEIR film. I never expected WB to have them paired up with each other for all of the interviews in the first place....esp not when they have added two additional new characters to the film. Timmy & Z already did a ton of interviews together for Dune 1 press. Why would WB do that yet again??

And why would she need to request something like that in the first place? They're FRIENDS! They don't have anything against each other. Z is closer to Timmy than even Josh and Mike. She's also known him longer. You can just look at their bts filming shots.

When they're not in front of the fans with all eyes on them however, they are way more comfortable around each other because they know that their every move and interaction w/each other isn't going to be dissected to death. 🙄

Timdayas have nobody to blame but themselves lol.

Personally, I think they were just fine during the press tour (way less rigid than the first press tour imo), but I do think Z is very keenly aware of the weird shipping, and she doesn't want to add fuel to the fire.

Z doesn't hate this man...They're FRIENDS. I don't know why people think she's "dissing" Timmy when she's not. To me it seems obvious that the attention they get from fans/Timdaya shippers is a bit much, and they don't want to feed into it. But it's clear that they're buddies.

#confession Sunday

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broodwolf221 · 10 months ago

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@lyriumlullaby-ao3 asked: askjfkska OKAY i’m stoked, here’s your dadw practice prompt 💖💖 will. will you do. ‘i trusted you’ from the micro stories list for Atros and Solas???? 👀✨

SUCH a good ask ty again friend <3 u get some angst btwn them! 839 words

When Solas had asked him for help, he’d been stunned. The other man always seemed so self-contained, so poised, that to see him this agitated - outside of their fights, at least - was disconcerting. To realize why he was so agitated was worse. He wanted Atros’ help rescuing his friend? Okay, sure. He wanted Atros’ help rescuing a spirit? Well, it was Solas, and he was like that. But when they’d arrived and Solas wanted his help releasing a demon…?

“You’re kidding,” he’d said, deadpan. Solas had looked at him with wide eyes before his surprise coalesced to anger.

“Please, Inquisitor. We can still help it.”

“It’s a fucking demon! What’s left to help?”

“It’s my friend!” He’d never heard Solas sound so wounded before, so desperate. He took a step back, as if putting distance between them would lessen the impact - it did not.

“It’s a demon!” He protested again, frustrated. Solas snarled and strode forward on his own.

“Then I’ll do it myself,” he called back, voice incredibly cold. “If you are frightened you may leave, Inquisitor.”

Fuck. “Fuck,” he spit out, withdrawing his blades. As he approached he wasn’t sure what he was going to do - attack the spires that Solas was focusing his magic on, or the demon itself? But he spared a glance for the other man and something seized in his chest and he growled and attacked the fucking spire.

He saw Solas spare him a quick glance, wonder visible on his face even from this distance before he returned to his work.

Cassandra and Varric followed his lead without protest, and for once he was grateful. They all took on a spire and freed the damn thing, come what may. He thought his spire was just about to fall when he suddenly saw a bright light and heard Varric shout, jerking away. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Solas surge forward, hesitate, and then resume the attack on the spires. Anger flared hot and fierce in his chest but it wasn’t the right time for it.

The damn demon had thrown lightning at the dwarf, who had been carefully keeping his distance from the battlefield. Now he was on his side spasming as the lightning coursed through his body, face pale and eyes squeezed shut, teeth bared in a grimace of pain. Cassandra had already felled her own tower and rushed over to protect the two of them, while he supposed Solas was working on the remains of his spire.

He crouched over Varric, careful to not touch him. There was nothing to do but wait the lightning out, although he’d dropped one of his blades to the ground to extract a potion, waiting impatiently with it in his hand. As soon as the spasms stopped he tentatively brushed the backs of his fingers across the other man’s forehead, slick with sweat but there was no coursing power underneath his skin. So he dropped his other blade, trusting Cassandra entirely, and hoisted the dwarf upright before tipping the potion down his throat.

He only relaxed when Varric opened his eyes and grunted at the taste. “Yeah, I know, it tastes like shit,” he commiserated absently, pleased when Varric managed to huff a laugh. As soon as he was able to sit up on his own Atros gathered his blades and stood, turning to face Solas. He was now kneeling before a spirit, so apparently it’d all worked out for him. The slope to his shoulders spoke of tragedy as the spirit faded away, Atros closing the distance between them with long strides. “What the fuck was that?” He shouted as he got halfway to Solas, watching the other man’s shoulders hunch.

“Not now, Inquisitor. Please. Not right now.”

“That thing almost killed Varric! What’s wrong with you, going off on your own like that?”

“I said not now!” It was the first time he’d heard Solas shout and it chilled him, even though he was still angry. For a moment he smelled something acerbic and sharp and felt a great pressure against him before all was withdrawn, leaving him wondering if it’d even existed.

“I trusted you and look what it cost!”

“Inquisitor, it’s okay, I’m fine-” He ignored Varric entirely, too focused on Solas. Solas, who finally rose and faced him, furious.

“My friend is dead. I am sorry it attacked Varric, just like I am sorry it killed those we passed, but it would not have happened if they-” here he flung a hand towards the mages that Atros had forgotten about, “had not bound it!”

“I trusted you! I came out here with you to help a spirit! But you ignored me and endangered all of us!”

Solas snarled, head jerking aside. Atros watched him take several deep breaths. “I need to be alone. Apologies, Inquisitor.” The last was spoken with a stiff formality, each word sharply accented as he turned on his heel and walked away, leaving the three of them and the three mages behind.

#broodwrites #atros shiral #solasmance #oh this was FUN #agonizing! but fun #ty for the practice prompt ily!!!! <3 #it is taking Everything within me to not edit this but them's the rules!!! and im being good and being chill about it uwu

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kylejsugarman · 1 year ago

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do u personally think jesse is more similar to kaylee, nacho, or matty? bc i obviously see the parallels btwn the nacho & mike dynamic and the jesse & mike dynamic but i don’t see a whole lot of similarities in terms of their character arcs/development etc.

i get the whole dog motif, the discontentment with their lives, & the gus & walter manipulation/being punished for their sins parallels etc but i don’t see it to the extent that everyone else does (so much so that i cannot look at any nacho content without seeing a mention of jesse, usually saying nacho is better for some reason or another, but that fandom behavior where no nonwhite charac can exist w/o being compared to a white one is a different subject)

jesse is either the same age or around the same age as matty when he died & shares some traits (“stubborn”, “strong”, apt to get himself killed trying to do the right thing, a degree of naivety that allows him to still be shocked by the immoral behavior of his peers) so i definitely understand that. but kaylee being without a father & jesse being without one (not by means of death but. for all intents and purposes) kind of led me to see some similarities btwn them as well, moreso than nacho, who never sees gus as a father figure like jesse does walt & actually has a very loving father that cares deeply about him

idk!! i need ur thoughts

these are all really interesting thoughts!! in my eyes, although jesse obviously falls into the matty/nacho role in terms of Being A Son of Mike, mike treats him more like kaylee. not only is it an extension of how jesse is treated by the male characters the same way they treat the women/girls in their lives, it's just an indication of how mike's behavior and perception of these sons (literal and metaphorical) have changed over the years. i definitely agree that nacho and jesse don't share super similar arcs aside from their dog/angel motifs and wanting/deserving better than they got, and that's also reflected in how mike treats them. mike knows that nacho has a father who loves him, so his relationship to nacho is less "paternal": there's still obvious care and concern, but it's a more direct, unfussy relationship. nacho Thinks he knows it all and mike knows that he doesn't. mike is obviously still traumatized from losing matty and that grief does manifest in how he tries to guide nacho to some kind of safety, but it's definitely different than how he treats jesse. by the time jesse enters, mike has now lost matty and nacho. once mike gets to know him, he understands that he cannot hesitate to get jesse out the same way he hesitated with matty and nacho. no half measures. that's where the kaylee treatment emerges. for all the love mike has for his granddaughter, there's a noticeable degree of desperation to it: he is trying to preserve this last remaining fragment of matty. he's devoted to keeping her safe and preventing history from repeating itself. he does the same with jesse, simultaneously trying to hold him at an emotional distance to avoid getting hurt again and working hard to protect him and insulate him from harm. jesse needs a father more than nacho did, the same way that kaylee needs a father now that matty is gone, and mike is desperate to fill that role because his success would mean atoning for his past failures. if he can protect just one of them, if he can save just one of them, he could fill that fatherhood void inside of him.

#anonymous #ask #syd squeaks #this was such an insightful ask anon thank u!!!#breaking bad #bcs

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agnesmontague · 2 years ago

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Hi! Sorry if this is forward, but do you mind going a bit more into detail about what made you drop BD?

hi there! the most precise answer i can give, at least one that isn't completely riddled with my own ideals and brainworms, is that i was expecting something of the premise that i don't think the writers ever wanted to deliver. it happens! it just doesn't feel great when it does.

when i saw an anime that was pitched as "assassins + two men + parenting", i was somewhat expecting a more equal balance of the three elements. if not explicitly gay/queer, then some strong relationship drama/development btwn the guys in question; a heavier focus on the high stakes of being assassins; and of course, the parenting. what i've come to realize, as of the latest ep, is that the anime doesn't seem all that interested in any element except the parenting.

sure, there are hints here and there of the other two, just enough to give the anime some of its color, but in ep 7 (which, in the previews, seemed like a more drama/plot-heavy episode), everything still mostly revolves around Being A Parent and returning to domestic life without any real weight given to what being an assassin meant for kazuki. nor was there, i thought, sufficient emotional resolution between him and rei, who's supposed to be his partner and co-parent; nor any meaningful exploration of what kazuki's absence taught rei other than... he doesn't know how to call a cab to the hospital, i guess? at age 25?

this turned into a grievance fest about ep 7 lol but it's really just the culmination of some complaints i've had quietly growing in the background for a while now. so far i've been willing to overlook them in hopes that the anime will pick up its pace in the second half, but now that we're officially past the halfway mark and the show seems to have squandered (in my opinion) what could have been its pivot towards a more thoughtful exploration of all three elements, i figured it would be a good time to distance myself from it and avoid further disappointment.

i could be wrong! i might be jumping the gun a little too soon and the anime could deliver in the upcoming eps! but to be perfectly honest, i have my doubts on how well a heavier plot could be handled in the 5 episodes we have remaining even if we do get one. at this stage i think it's time i just admit to myself i was probably on the wrong page about where i thought this was going. i will still likely keep an eye on developments through the friends i made while watching (shoutout to Clown Town server <3) but yeah. towel mostly thrown in for now.

#rambles #not maintagging since it's negative #buddy daddies //#for blacklist

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aohisworld · 7 months ago

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I feel like you’re right in some cases, like with the hybe groups being forced to suffer the consequences of bang sihyuk and mhj, especially newjeans who were doing good keeping quiet and getting ready for their comeback.

In my opinion, it’s not that bang sihyuk wasn’t bad either, it’s just that mhj also leaked a bunch of health info and other info behind other artists, gave them their numbers, family contacts, etc.

It’s more of a case that, MHJ did something extreme, I’m more worried about the hybe groups more than the companies because let’s be honest, it’s always going to be corrupt and drama will be inevitable.

She willingly put the well-being and personal information of idols to sell to other profits and for what? If I’m being honest misogyny doesn’t really play much. MHJ has just done too much, not to bang sihyuk but to the groups in general.

even if it was speculation, they were big assumptions to begin with, especially pertaining to the hate trains and whatnot to other groups. To make accusations that big, doesn’t come from speculation.

It makes me feel weird knowing mhj uses nwjeans as a shield and to bring in illit when all they’ve done was debut.

Bang sihyuk has probably done some things (im not well sure because I don’t keep up with the drama besides this, I can’t really ignore this because it’s everywhere, even on tumblr.)

I understand that the concept with illit and newjeans are basically the spark to the dynamite, and honestly I would’ve understood mhj’s side, if not for all of the big accusations that just doesn’t sprout from nowhere.

But in all honesty, nonnie? I’d rather focus on the idols, newjeans will be controversial because of this no matter what, and illit will probably get hate for “copying” newjeans. I think they deserve our support rather than watching their companies wondering what’ll happen like a hawk.

I’d rather as fans, support our groups because they are caught up in all of that drama, I believe that it’s just easier this way rather than getting caught up and wondering who’s side people are on, because for me, I’m on the side of idols, who’ll probably be affected by the media and drama there.

thanks for sharing your thoughts with me nonnie, I understand where you’re coming from, but it’s a big thing to not talk about drama on my blog because I don’t want to have to complicate things here and drown out Aohi at all. (She’s the blog after all!)

If you want to talk more generally, @sunsmintie is open for you to chat into!

#˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ it’s mintie!#≡; ꒰ °aohi’s question board! ꒱

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cinderflower · 7 months ago

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Royal Bastards for the WIP game!

This is actually one of my original works that I've been working on sporadically for a few years! I used to have the first few chapters posted on AO3 but hid it in an unrevealed collection until I can figure out the direction I want to go with it next.

It's a dark fantasy story that's focuses on a small fractured continent with different kingdoms and factions that have varying views on the usage of magic and how it plays into each culture. The main kingdom is an isolationist kingdom with the belief of only using magic for healing and dedicating all their healers (Stitchers) to pair with their warriors to keep them alive mid battle. This means a lot of desensitized warriors who don't know how to fight without thinking they're invincible but also means they're seen as kind of boogeyman to fighters from other kingdoms who don't have Stitchers nearly as skilled and aren't used to seeing enemies get healed mid-battle - especially since their isolationist tendencies led to it being believed to be tall tales instead of reality.

It follows the two main characters - a prince and princess (twins bc it's me) named Ottilia and Augustus - as they flee from an assassination attempt and go to find refuge w their actual father (hence, royal bastards) who is the leader of a rundown mercenary company in the neighboring kingdom, while they regroup to try and reclaim their kingdom. And while they are the main characters and are intended to be somewhat sympathetic, they're not what I would call 'good people' by any stretch of the imagination. Their hobby growing up mainly involved hiring assassin guilds to try and almost-but-not-quite murder one another.

A snippet of a spar btwn the twins from the first chapter:

She was almost too slow as she let go of the grip of her own sword, forced to keep it steady with just her one hand while acting on instinct to raise her now free hand up to block the dagger. Blood poured forth, running down her wrist as the blade was stopped, missing the intended mark of her neck and instead embedding in the center of her palm. Gritting her teeth and hissing in pain, Ottilia staggered forward, pushing her hand down the remainder of the blade with a pained and angered shout until her fingers were able to curl around the dagger's guard. Augustus's eyes widened and he let the dagger go, rushing to step back as he realized his mistake, but Ottilia wasn't about to let him go so easily. She stalked toward him, not allowing him to place any distance between them as she dropped her longsword to the ground and ripped off her helmet. When she was close enough she kicked again with all the force she could muster, this time actually hitting his knee with an audible crack. Augustus collapsed to the ground with a muffled grunt as his leg caved in beneath him. He held his sword up defensively as she moved to descend on him. But it did not deter her, metal biting into her side all while she used her free hand to pull the dagger free. She sank down onto one knee, pressing it harshly into her brother's sternum as she used her bloodied hand to rip his own helmet off, revealing his face. He had not yet given up, determination still etched across his features along with the wild look in his eye from the thrill of the spar as he let go of his sword and moved to grab her wrists instead to try and wrestle her off of him. But she had managed to get too much leverage on him, able to keep him pinned in place as she began to lower the dagger towards his throat. He did everything he could to hold her at bay, letting go of her wrist to wrap his other hand around the blade that was now almost close enough to his throat to piece it. It was now his blood that coated the dagger as he tightened his grip to stop its momentum. It would all be over if she used her other hand to hit the pommel and force it that final distance into his flesh, but she refrained, instead reaching around to grip his hair, yanking his head backwards to expose more of his throat, the blood from the dagger flowing down to the expanse of skin. "That's enough," Marcellus finally called out. "The round goes to Ottilia." Ottilia grinned down at him as she pulled away and Augustus grinned back at her. "I should have known you wouldn't fall for the dagger trick." "Only because I was half expecting it. You should have gone a few rounds without using it first so that I would have lowered my guard and forgotten about it. Is that what you and Marcellus were practicing?" she asked, dropping the dagger and pulling the arming sword from her side. Moving back to her feet, she offered him a hand up after discarding all the blades to the ground.

WIP game post

#Cinder answers #Nullcanary #Thank you for the ask!#I love talking about my murderous terrible despicable children #They're very much 'the only one who is allowed to kill you is me' kind of vibe #The story is just a reason to write all my favorite things #Unhinged twins. Political schemes. Over the top violence. Complex inter-kingdom relationships. Etc

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angeltrapz · 3 years ago

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ok saw asks!!! bcuz i have Amanda on th brain rn i wd like ur take on her interacting w Lawrence? personally idk how much she knew of his involvement bc she implies in 3 tht Lynn was entirely John's choice, but i also think th idea of her Knowing + deliberately not telling Hoffman is extremely funny. Hoffman cant come 2 th weekly disciple meeting bcuz hes got Cop Business so he misses Lawrence's introduction + Amanda is just like "sure John of course ill tell Mark that we got a new friend :)" and just never does. LOVE that thought

dhgsdkj thank u!!

it Is extremely funny 2 think that she just. knows but refuses to tell Hoffman + THAT'S why Hoffman doesn't know who Lawrence is until he jabs him w the needle + takes off the pig mask lmao omg. just like "oh yeah of course I'll tell Mark we have a new teammate don't worry abt it!" and she Never Does dkjkdsg??

okay but 2 Seriously answer yr question. when I think abt it I always think that like. it wld b pretty hard fr John 2 keep them frm each other given how integral Lawrence's participation is in every game from SAW II onward? 'cause like we know Amanda helps w the kidnapping process + placing them in their traps, which one CLD argue would only mean she wld see them after Lawrence would do his thing but. I feel like she'd be vaguely aware? bc she wld also then have 2 know that he survived his game, given that she helped set it up - we know that she'd AT LEAST know his name.

to elaborate on th idea that only HOFFMAN doesn't know (both bc it's fucking hilarious + actually how I view things happening jdkhfksd), I feel like Amanda + Lawrence's interactions wld be rather limited. in canon, Lawrence becomes a disciple after John "rehabilitates" him or whtever he wants 2 call it, but I feel he'd have to be aware of Amanda, too - both that she is also a disciple + SHE'S th one who helped get him in the bathroom in th first place. as grateful as Lawrence seems to feel toward John + as much as he believes in John's "work," I feel like that wld be smth he'd have to work thru: working side by side w someone who had a direct hand in basically destroying yr life as u knew it. n I feel like Amanda wld know that, n as such she'd want to keep her distance bc she can't predict how this man will act/what he will do, even if he is technically on her side. so like. things wld def be tense btwn them until Lawrence has had some time 2 process his new life + what tht means for him, and until the two of them can have some sort of talk/acknowledgement of that.

though I will say that their roles kind of imply they'd at least see a good bit of each other. Amanda scouts, in a way, helps subdue & bring ppl in, which wld then be brought to Lawrence fr any medical procedures they feel r needed (such as sewing th key behind Michael's eye in II) so it'd definitely be like a "hey did u bring some1?" sort of thing. Mark is muscle of course so like I know he def helped on tht end (I believe Amanda is th one who caught Lawrence in the parking garage but like it wld be SO much funnier if Hoffman was the one crawling around) but IDK if he rly Saw Lawrence bc. Cop Business. so he'd just kinda b like "here u go" n bring ppl to Amanda n then peace out 'cause he's gotta keep tht reputation of Respected Detective. we know he also might've messed w traps themselves as well (like The Rack in III), which wld definitely keep him separate from Lawrence bc Lawrence had No Involvement in designing/setting up traps. tht was strictly a John/Hoffman/Amanda endeavour.

as fr how they'd feel abt each other? it's really dependent on how u view thm as characters. Lawrence, after he becomes a disciple, believes that what John is doing is truly helpful and truly has the capability to change lives; he devotes himself 2 it, shows countless times tht he has complete faith in John + his methods, so much so that John left a tape fr him telling him to look after Jill + to act on his behalf if smth were to happen to her. he calls Lawrence his greatest asset. his trust in John + the Jigsaw legacy is unwavering.

Amanda, however, has been shown several times to act directly against John's beliefs, such as constructing inescapable traps (Kerry) or rigging others' games (Adam). th breakdown she has in III I think showcases the disconnect between her love fr John as a mentor/father figure, and the realization that not only is John entirely hypocritical and doesn't stay true to his own beliefs half th time, he truly has shown no regard fr her safety + has only been using her to further the agenda that was built upon a fragile foundation 2 begin with. u've mentioned this b4 too but John always liked 2 say that if u can anticipate the human mind, then nothing is up 2 chance - which wld mean that he KNEW Xavier might throw Amanda into the Needle Pit to get out of it. he KNEW Daniel was just a fucking kid and was perfectly fine w putting him in very real danger to get back at some1 he felt like needling fr the express purpose of provocation and nothing else. he KNEW Laura, a woman she'd formed a bond w and pretty much swore to protect th minute she woke up and saw her crying in the corner, could begin to seize n choke on her own vomit and die in that house. he knew all of those things, ENCOURAGED the belief that smth was wrong w her because she wasn't "fixed" as he had claimed, and it's so unfortunate that she doesn't realize that sooner (I fully agree that she deserved to lose her shit completely on John. it's what he deserved! it's what SHE deserved!!!) but she still Does before she dies (which, again, I Don't think should've happened. she didn't deserve 2 go out like tht + she deserved so much more of her story being told).

so there's the conflict of beliefs between thm. I think Amanda definitely starts out like Lawrence does, completely devoted + believing every word John says, but thru II we can see that certainty begin to falter n her faith in John is completely shaken by the end. I don't think Lawrence wld Know she felt tht way until after she died, if he ever finds out at all, bc I doubt that's smth she'd want to express. it's not even smth she discusses w John himself until III, in which she's already made up her mind to shoot Lynn as a final act of misguided disobedience. I still think tht Lawrence wld feel fr her in some way, though, bc even b4 he became a disciple he was rather horrified when Sing + Tapp had him sit thru her testimony; his feelings would change on this a lil, bc he'd see it as her rebirth (as she once did too), but I still feel like he'd want 2 like. watch over her a little. not super directly, + not because he felt threatened by her presence or anything like that, but because they're in this together n I'm sure John's told him abt some of the circumstances regarding how she came to be a disciple after her game as well. I feel like he wld definitely be saddened by her passing, bc I feel he'd come 2 respect her at least a bit, but fr him it's like. they have 2 keep moving. John is gone now too, smth I'm sure was probably a pretty huge blow fr Lawrence, and now he has to put his energy into making sure Hoffman stays unaware of him. just in case he has to act on that warning John gave him abt Jill. but he wld still miss Amanda n wld mourn her, to be sure.

I don't think they'd be close or anything like tht. kind of just friendly coworkers who only see each other every once in a while, passing thru the doors of each other's lives with a nod and a wave and maybe a greeting if they're feeling up 2 it. they're not too involved. Amanda can't tell u tht Lawrence's favourite flowers are sunflowers. Lawrence can't tell u tht Amanda's favourite smell is lavender or tht her favourite colour is a deep, almost greyish purple. but they're connected thru John, thru their work, n that still means smth to both of them, at least in some manner. when Amanda dies, Lawrence grieves. Jill pays for her headstone n Lawrence makes sure to bring fresh flowers every once in a while, but he has to hold his head up n keep walking. now tht John's gone, there's work to be done.

and someone's gotta keep an eye on Hoffman.

#saw #amanda #lawrence #mandy makes me so fucking sad she deserved so much better #mainly to go ape shit on john #but just. better in general #tysm!!! I don't often get 2 talk abt mandy dkjfkds #yr right it is MUCH funnier 2 consider tht mandy n lawrence knew each other but nobody told hoffman abt lawrence #tht's what u get mr. hoffman!!#long post kinda? not as much as my other ones but #u know #asks

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lakesbian · 1 year ago

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yaaaay thankyou so much for explaining. [said with the same cheerful instant recall as someone who really loves the ABCs reciting the ABCs] alec's had a year with the undersiders by the time the story starts. always really funny that the undersiders were a team for like. a pretty good ass chunk of time all things considered before taylor joined just being chill generic minor villains and then she takes them on a special journey through the most everything-altering week or two of their lives and then fucks off into the distance for two years. anyway.

i REALLY wish ward was good or that literally any of this was visible/an interesting Thing in the bit where aisha and brian are interacting that i read because ouuurgh the clockblocker bit is fun. my read of glastig uained alec then is:

obviously non-insignificant portion based on 10-13yo jean-paul, however,

shards value conflict simulation the most, and given how much of jean-paul's life experiences were one-sided torture, i'd estimate that there's still a very large chunk of the most valuable conflict data that was coming from alec during the period where taylor was getting him into all kind of Adventures (which is to say yeah probably about 30-40% jean-paul stirred in and the rest is more familiar Alec)

alec turns professional mode on when necessary for the undersiders but does not have a particularly distinct Capesona in the same way grue/brian are clearly divided or skitter/weaver/taylor are clearly divided--regent is a bit more professional than alec (and also very much about playing into a specific fantasy & role), but he's also largely just. alec with a sillier gayer outfit than usual on, begrudgingly willing to tone the jokes back 60% for the bank robbery. because alecs life prior to being regent sucked so bad that being regent is, like, actively extremely chill for him and actually a level of unmasking from being hijack. which is to say the focus on the cape identity wouldn't detract too much from the unmasked alec aisha would be familiar with

he nigh certainly leans a bit gayer and fancier now than he did when he was alive due to the higher influence from his Cape traits specifically. confetti noises. i've been spinning the idea of like...fabric designs ending up kind of imprinted on his skin in a way that leaves subtle lace/ruffle/etc designs like brian's skull. and maybe keep the crown as a weird metal-bone-flesh growth idfk. not doing the frozen face because i dont hate him. but also what if there was the frozen face. what then. :).

stirring jeanpaul into the pot actually makes this sooo much more interesting than if it were just Regular Alec but in the wrong place and time. sad on purpose in an interesting way instead of sad on accident in an uninteresting way. the interactions btwn him and aisha would be really really interesting because it'd be an even more intense version of how she metaphorically dedicates herself 2 ensuring the sad little boy she remembers is cared for (and given plenty of opportunity to piss people off, like he would've wanted). sitting on the floor in my puddle of cry...she made dolls of him :( "if theres a single scratch ill be pissed" .....augh. i think alec is already babyfaced enough that he would look slightly imperceptibly uncannily younger than he was when he died. easy to mistake as regular alec most of the time but then you toss him in the same room as his siblings and they steal his fries or whatever and he enters jean-paul "cast spell of coldly silently clong you over the head with lamp" mode. i think he deserves to sit around making annoying commentary at all of the undersiders and also get a hug

How do you think Alec would have handled getting the Valkyrie treatment? Being made into a puppet in the same way that he did to other people, his sacrificial suicide being subverted by another cape who uses people as tools but in a much more complete and permanent sense, coming back wrong and having his cape identity irrevocably a part of his body and self, and no longer being able to take off the mask, is this anything?

see i've rotated this extensively in my mind before because i think coming up with how a cape's design would turn out if they got glastig uained is a really fun exercise (do that shit to lisa for some Fun eyeball body horror!!) but i'm struggling to come up with what would happen to alec :( the most obvious answer is the crown becoming like. Attached. to his head. but id ont know if that's too far out there. there's also the concept of having his face frozen in a permanent smirking expression but i feel like that would go Too tragically counter to the point of a 'surprise hes back again' au wherein he would be expected to. yknow. realize and experience some of his feelings again at some point. so yeah i'd need someone else to help me figure that one out.

anyway the actual experience of being glastig uained. if i recall correctly in ward brian says it was basically just like waking up feeling like everything from before he died was just a few days ago not Years ago so i don't think alec would care that much that someone was using his ghost or whatever for shit while he was dead, relative 2 all the other problems in his life. wouldnt even notice with the type of shit hes got going on. the big reason why this au doesn't really work is that it's just Wildly Unproductively Depressing. it seems like ciara only starts bringing random people back by the time aisha is like. what. 20?

it works Fine and Actually Thematically Interesting Well that brian is like oh FUCK youve GROWN UP when he gets back because it's relevant 2 their sibling dynamics. but it does. it does not work if alec gets back and aisha is like 20. it's just depressing. from alec's PoV it would be "congrats you've been brought back into a world where your best and only friend is too old and character-developmented for you to actually have a close connection with even though for you it feels like she was still your age only a few days ago and also your fucking shit ass siblings are here too and btw the world ended so all of the nice luxuries you were enjoying previously are not options anymore. go feed the earth gimel sheep boy." and from aisha's perspective her best friend would be back but in a monkeys paw way where he did not get to grow up with her and he's still little and sad and fucked up and more like one of his siblings that she's caring for/trying to help vs the equal best friendship she Wants but Can't Have because he is Fifteen. so now everything sucks and is sad for everyone involved. :(.

i would say "on the 'up'side this is a hot new contender for scenarios wherein lisa could feasibly decide alec is her new sopping wet fixer-upper" but she already has an even more absurd and unstable option (that one cop) so as usual alec remains background. btw he would be offended on taylors behalf that lisa had replaced taylor with victoria (who he does not like because shes annoying) and entirely oblivious that taylor had ever thought or said anything about him being sucks and utterly lacking in interiority. AUs that have potential to be funny wrt alec's interactions with the other undersiders but are wildly fucking depressing when you get to his interactions with aisha.

if we fudge a bit and say ciara brings him back like riiight after gold morning aisha would only be a bit over a year older than him so that's more doable in terms of character development and eventual reconnection but it'd still be a mess. i'm not articulating my explanation of how aisha's character development works rn and i don't feel like saying something wrong so i'll just leave it here but trust me it'd still be a mess. maybe an interesting one but a mess

#worm spoilers #scarf don't look

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fuckingfinwions · 3 years ago

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it's pretty fucking rich of curufin to call the servants perverts for doing what he/his family forced them to do! omg! also i love the detail that sometimes fingon is just like 'suffer bitch' and doesn't stop curufin from getting his own self in trouble. i wonder what celebrimbor thinks about all the tension between the three of them--he must be terrified, poor bby. also i love the detail that maedhros believes in thematic/ironic punishment. i imagine he does it a lot to curufin esp when hes str

*stressed abt ruling the noldor and whatnot. i wonder if he ever directly tells curufin that if he actually put any effort into it that he *might* be the best sex slave/concubine? just to have more 'competition' btwn him and fingon? (and maybe its just a ploy, hes much fonder of fingon just for actually just getting on with it and not being so annoying). also maglor and his elaborate shows. maglor sounds insufferable. is he rlly perfectionistic and dramatic with his directions/ideas/visions? ver

*very particular and demanding? i can also see some really dark domestic humor with like, maedhros being like 'tf are my sex slaves' and it turns out they're all tied up in rlly weird ways running through 'rehearsal' for the 50th time that night or sthg and maglor is like 'oh damn its morning? i hadnt noticed' and ends up having a very very weird party a few weeks later full of avant-garde noncon horror that his pretentious artsy friends who all applaud his 'vision'. also i had wondered, if maed

*maedhros ever feels like he needs to punish nolo or fingon but in a more 'ironic' way, does he do it by forcing them to punish or touch eac other? like if fingon winces or flinches at jsut the wrong moment or something 'oh if i'm so disgusting then i'm sure you'd prefer him to rim you' and nolo is ofc desperate to fix the situation with his son hurt as little as possible. cant imagine curufin wouldnt be very upset too if celebrimbor is brought into his own punishments. cant see that ending well

Celebrimbor is rather terrified by the whole situation, but luckily, all of the other Servants are interested in keeping him safe. Curufin of course wants to protect his son. Nolo doesn't want this to be happening to anyone, and Celebrimbor is the only one he's currently able to make things less terrible for. Fingon thinks that Curufin deserves everything he gets, but Celebrimbor is innocent; and also that Curufin is probably bad at caring for people in general and a bad father. Curufin's defiance, coming at the same time when Fingon learns just how much his own father sacrificed for him and his siblings, just cements that belief.

In practice, this works out to Fingon teaching Celebrimbor a lot about both how to navigate life as a servant and just general socialization. Celebrimbor is torn between trusting Fingon's advice, because Fingon is acting like an older sibling/uncle and Celebrimbor misses that type of connection; and doing his best to stay far far away from Fingon, because Fingon hates his dad and might use him as a proxy, and also look what just happened with Celebrimbor's uncles.

(Also, I think just before he comes of age, Celebrimbor is going to decide he wants his first kiss to be with someone who is NOT Maedhros or Maglor. He might find one of the normal servants' teenage kids, or he might kiss Nolo, as the least scary option. Maedhros is unlikely to notice, and wouldn't be too upset as long is it didn't go any farther - there'd be a punishment along the lines of wearing a stimulating plug and a cage for a day.)

I like the idea of Maedhros encouraging competition, but I think he'd go for it sightly differently. "You always thought you were so special. So smart, could've been a genius at anything you chose, the only reason you didn't make a marvelous invention was because all the easy breakthroughs had just been discovered. But now I see you're mostly an idiot. You perhaps have a little natural talent at forgework, but with different birth could have spent your whole life making nails and horse shoes and never thought of anything greater. You can imitate if someone has already shown you the steps, but you have no creativity of your own. Nor can you figure out how to apply your skills to a new area, instead guessing blindly and patternlessly. Poor Inke, can't even suck a cock without someone smarter telling him how to do so."

Maedhros purposely avoided directly mentioning Feanor. That tends to just make Curufin more defiant, reminded of his pride and that he ought to be a prince. Also, Maedhros is not sure Feanor would actually approve of his actions, and Feanor's potential anger on his return is a bit of a mood killer. Being immortal, Feanor never felt a need to discuss in detail what would happen if he died and Maedhros took the throne. Maedhros is confident he's following Feanor's example, but some instructions might have been nice.

Curufin is now going to try and be the best lover Maedhros has ever had, purely out of spite.

Yes, dark comedy where Maedhros wants Fingon to ride him, but he's too exhausted from practicing double pirouettes where he jumps and lands with his cock an inch away from a spiked post. Maglor says it symbolizes the short distance between despair and desire. Curufin then fucks him using a strap on that he's wearing backwards (symbolizing fear of intimacy) while Nolo does the splits and fingers himself (symbolizing the loss of community in modern society).

Maedhros just thinks that, as king, there ought to be someone with enough energy to get him off the way he likes. Maglor says he's an artist, you can't expect him to make a masterpiece without using all the instruments. Maedhros is privately thinking maybe he should have made Caranthir crown prince, then he'd only be down two at once as Caranthir pretended to be a sadist rather than a masochist, or maybe one of the Ambarussa.

I think Maedhros ends making Nolo officially allowed to refuse sexual orders from Maglor it's been going on for longer than five hours. Also, despite Maglor's protest of artistry, if it involves nudity or genitalia it counts as sex. Nolo isn't Maedhros's favorite, but he's pretty enough, and both Curufin and Fingon would totally take advantage of the out.

Maedhros makes Nolo and Fingon punish each other sometimes, by making them be the one to inflict pain. But he doesn't use sex with each other as a punishment. They''re just so hot, he wants to watch them touch each other multiple nights a week, and he's not the type to make up new rules as an excuse for punishments. And the point of a punishment is that it's something the person involved dislikes, true, but it's also supposed to be something that they can avoid, so that you actually change their behavior. Maedhros likes ordering Nolo to kiss Fingon, and kiss a line down his body, stopping to caress every inch of him as if he's the most beautiful thing in the world. No one believes that Maedhros would stop ordering it if Fingon didn't disobey, so it doesn't work well as a deterrent.

Re: Celebrimbor being brought into Curufin's punishments, I had an idea for "power play" which I didn't end up using. Maedhros is trying to get Curufin to behave, and Curufin is being stubborn, and also insulting Maedhros. So Maedhros beats Curufin with a crop, then ties him to Maedhros's bed.

Maedhros sets oil and a very large set of anal beads on the bed. Then he draws the bed curtains.

"I'm going to have my dinner here by the fire tonight. Celebrimbor is going to bring it to me, and wait on me throughout. When I've finished eating, I'll check on you. If you have all the beads inside you and your cock hard, I'll send Celebrimbor away for the evening while I play with you. If not, I pull back the curtains, and he gets to sit by and watch you. Do you understand?"

Curufin nodded. "Are you going to gag me?"

"Why would I do that? I don't mind if your son overhears you moaning."

#fucking finwions answers #timeline branch: maedhros gets the concubines #servant nolofinweans au #basically Fingon thinks about ethics in terms of justice while Nolo thinks in terms of inviolable rights #it's more complicated than that and fingon wouldn't rape the feanorians if he was suddenly on the throne #because though they'd deserve it; inflicting uneccessary pain is Evil #but it's a fact of Fingon's life as it is that someone is going to be raped and better Curufin than Fingon or someone random off the street

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kimjoongs · 5 years ago

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—ateez college au series [psh]

so seonghwa is a nursing major bc why not and no this isnt bc im also a nursing major or maybe it is idk shh

he wanted to become a nurse bc his mom was one, and he saw how much she adored her job

plus seonghwa is a self-less and caring person, so this was the perfect choice for him

he lives in an apartment on campus with his roommate hongjoong and it’s both a blessing and a curse

it was a blessing because his and hongjoong’s personalities matched very well, so they rarely had arguments

but it was also a curse bc joong was a music production major so he’d be producing music in his room, which normally wasn’t a problem, but on nights where seonghwa was studying for his exams, hongjoong would be in the room next door blasting music

usually all seonghwa had to do was knock on his door and ask him to keep it down, but there were nights where he would just pack up his stuff and study at the campus library instead

he often stayed for about 3-4 hours or more if he had an exam the next day

hwa really liked anatomy and phys but absolutely despised chemistry

“what the hell is the difference between polar and nonpolar? wait, why does this lewis structure only have 2 bonds? shouldn’t it have 3? ah shit i forgot an electron–”

sometimes hongjoong would come out of his room to get a glass of water only to find hwa asleep at the kitchen table with a copy of the periodic table on his head

he loves getting to wear his scrubs on lab day bc 1) scrubs are super comfortable and 2) it gets him excited thinking about the future

he also started volunteering at the nursing college in the labs

he’d help the lab ops set up the labs, refill the fluids, repack the medication, or clean up the simulation rooms

this also gave him the opportunity to get to know his future professors, and he would never admit it, but whilst he was volunteering, he would admire the older nursing students wearing the official university scrubs

it made him that much more determined to get into nursing school

during his first semester his second year, he had less of a workload compared to his first year, so he had more free time and was able to go out more

one day hongjoong asked seonghwa if he wanted to hang out with a few of his friends, and he said yes

so the two of them went out to this nearby boba cafe where hongjoong’s friends mingi, san, and wooyoung were waiting for him

you were there as well, tagging along as a mutual friend of san’s, and he introduced you to the two them

“hey hongjoong, seonghwa, this is my friend y/n! i hope it’s cool if they come along. i needed to drag them out of their room or else they’d be studying for hours on end,” san teased, knocking your head lightly w his fist

you stuck your tongue out at him then turned to shake hongjoong’s and seonghwa’s hands

when you made eye contact with the latter, his face lit up with recognition “oh wait, y/n? you’re in my pathophysiology class right?”

“oh yeah, i sit right behind you. nice to meet you, seonghwa!” you flashed him a smile, and he smile back

after everyone introduced themselves, you all found a table and ordered your drinks

mingi, san, and seonghwa sat on one side of the booth whilst you, wooyoung, and hongjoong sat on the other

you were quite surprised, and quite relieved, at how well you were fitting in and getting along with hongjoong and seonghwa…especially seonghwa

during the time that you all were together, seonghwa found out that you were a nursing major too and the two of you launched into a full blown discussion about it, unaware of the looks the others were giving you both

hongjoong had a faint smile on his face, mingi was chuckling and shaking his head, and san and wooyoung were giving each other knowing smirks

at the end of the night, seonghwa had asked you for your number in case yall wanted to study tgt, and you happily obliged

then you all said your farewells and went your separate ways

a few days pass and you don’t hear from seonghwa, which was quite understandable considering the fact that it was midterm season and you were both busy

but you were also kind of looking forward to study with him, he seemed really smart and self-disciplined which was exactly the type of study buddy you needed

but another couple days pass and lo and behold you receive a text from the one and only park seonghwa that reads: hey you wanna study tgt for the patho exam at the library today?

ofc you said yes and half an hr later, you found yourself at the library sitting right across from seonghwa

the two of you had your laptops, notebooks, and handouts spread all over the tables and were completely in the zone

after an hr or two of straight studying, you suggested taking a small break and that’s where the two of you got to talking abt nursing and why you both chose to major in it

“well my mom’s a nurse, and when i was younger she would always talk about how much she loved her job. she’s super hardworking and cares about her patients, and that’s how i want to be someday. plus as a nurse, if i could just make someone’s day just a little bit better, then that’s all that matters to me.”

needless to say, you were captivated by the raw passion and love seonghwa had for his future career, and you couldn’t help but admire him for it

after your short break, the two of you went back to studying, but this time yall would often make eye contact and send each other encouraging smiles

you found yourself slowly becoming more comfortable with seonghwa as the time passed by

and after that, the two you started having more and more study sessions, growing closer and closer

whenever an exam or quiz was coming up, you two would always be found studying tgt whether it was at his apartment or the library

and that’s when the hesi exam came in

the amount of time you guys spent studying for regular exams was nothing compared to the amount of time yall spent studying for the hesi

on the day of, you and hwa were practically freaking out

“oh my god y/n i’m so scared. what if i forget how to do the conversions? what if i forget everything i learned in anatomy? what if i forget basic grammar–”

“hwa shut up you’re making me nervous!”

basically yall are a wreck from the beginning of the exam all the way to the end, and once yall walk out of that testing room you almost collapse

anyways fast forward a few weeks later it’s almost the end of the semester and also around the time where you would be receiving your letter saying whether or not you were accepted into the program

it was a friday night and the entire gang was at your apartment having a movie night

you were looking thru your emails when you stumbled upon one from your university, and when you saw what the subject was you screamed, scaring the living daylights out of mingi who was sitting next you

“y/n what the hell–” “guys, guys my nursing school letter came in oh my god, oh my god!”

the entire room went silent for a millisecond before san let out a shriek and soon everyone was crowding around you

hongjoong gripped seonghwa’s shoulder “did you get yours yet?”

the latter’s eyes widened in realization and he also whipped out his phone, letting out a choked gasp when he saw the same email “mine came in too!”

at this point all of yall were freaking the hell out, and you and seonghwa somehow found each other’s hands and held them tightly tgt

“okay, okay, okay!” you reposition yourself on the couch so you were facing your fellow nursing major “on the count of three we open it at the same time, yeah?” all seonghwa did was nod

“alright, one…two…three!” everyone held their breath and it seemed like an eternity had passed…and then you and seonghwa jumped up from the couch

“i got in!” you yelled at the same time, which caused the others to belt out the loudest cheers you’ve ever heard

overwhelmed with excitement and pride, you threw yourself onto seonghwa and gave him the tightest hug, and he wrapped his arms around your waist, gently lifting you off the ground

when you guys separated, both your eyes widened at the lack of space btwn the two of you, and you immediately jumped away from each other

“um,” you cleared your throat “i’m…i’m really proud of you, hwa.” he gave you the softest of smiles, one that made your heart race even more than it was right now

“i’m proud of you too, y/n.”

aaaand fast forward again to the beginning of the next semester! you and seonghwa were officially in the clinical portion of the nursing program which meant you two were now able to wear the university’s official nursing scrubs seonghwa probably cried a little when he first tried his on

and since yall were in the program tgt, you saw each other more frequently, even more compared to the previous semester

which certainly didnt help alleviate the strong emotions you were feeling ever since the two of you shared that small, intimate moment just a couple months prior

before you didnt use to feel anything when you hung out with seonghwa, but now just thinking abt him was enough to get you all giddy and nervous at the same time

it had reached a point where you couldnt take it anymore, so you decided to seek help from the one person who knew seonghwa best: his best friend and roommate, hongjoong

when you met up with him and poured out what it was you were feeling, hongjoong sent you a fond, knowing smile “y/n…you like him. romantically, i mean.”

you gaped “i…what?”

“you, y/n, have romantic feelings for my best friend, seonghwa.”

“i..i like him? i don’t…i don’t have–” you froze upon seeing the way hongjoong raised his eyebrows at you

“i…i like…i like seonghwa,” you finally breathed out. hongjoong’s gaze softened and he chuckled “took you long enough…now if only seonghwa could stop being a coward and just ask you out already,” he mumbled the second part under his breath

not knowing what to do with the information you had just uncovered abt yourself, you thought it’d a good idea (read: it was the stupidest idea) to distance yourself from seonghwa for a bit, just long enough for you to process the thoughts racing thru your mind

you were unaware, however, of how you distancing yourself might look like from seonghwa’s pov

he’s noticed you not hanging out with him as much anymore outside of class, and during class whenever he’d try to talk to you, you’d just scurry over to the other side of the room

he started getting worried and, ironically, he went to hongjoong for advice

upon hearing what’s been going on, hongjoong sighed loudly and slammed his hands down on the counter

“okay, initially i wasn’t going to say anything because i wanted the two of you to find out on your own, but obviously that isn’t going to happen so i’m just going to say it. y/n’s avoiding you because they realized they’ve fallen head over heels in love with you and don’t know how to react. so hwa, please be a nice guy and help them figure it out if you catch my drift.”

at that, hongjoong walked out and into his room, leaving an open-mouthed seonghwa frozen in the kitchen, he was at a loss for words

he knew hongjoong knew abt his feelings for you, but he didn’t think you’d feel the same

after contemplating whether or not what he was abt to do was a good idea or not, seonghwa simply said “screw it” and dashed out the door, heading straight for your apartment

once he arrived, he knocked rapidly on your front door

you had barely opened the door when seonghwa practically slid right in

“seonghwa? what are you doing he–”

“y/n, i’m sorry for just barging in but i need to ask you something really important and i want you to be completely honest.”

you gasped softly at the way he was looking at you, it was so intense and so serious you’ve never seen him like that before

“uh, okay? what’s going on?” you asked nervously

“do you have feelings for me?”

you choked “w-what?!”

“i talked to hongjoong and asked him for advice bc you’ve been avoiding me the past few days, and he said it’s bc you like me. is that true?”

you didn’t know what to say, the familiar warm feeling in your stomach came back and you found it difficult to maintain eye contact with seonghwa

a few seconds of silence passed, and you could see seonghwa’s serious gaze slowly start to crumble and all of a sudden you panicked

“yes! y-yes…it’s true. i do have feelings for you,” your voice trailed off at the end, but you knew he heard you when he saw him stiffen up

he let out a shaky breath “how long?”

“huh?”

“how long have you liked me, y/n?” he asked more firmly

“u-um, i’m not sure? i honestly didn’t start noticing i felt like this until about two months ago when we found we got accepted. although, the more i think about it, i’ve been attracted to you since our first study session together. the way you talked so passionately about your future and how dedicated you were into making it come true made me feel something, and what you said was really inspiring to me and i just–”

your sentence was interrupted by a pair of lips connecting with your own, and it took a second for you to realize that…seonghwa was kissing you

oh my god…oh my god seonghwa was kissing you

once you finally registered what was happening, he pulled away from you, eyes wide and cheeks flushed

“oh..oh shit, y/n i’m so sorry! i didn’t mean to–i should’ve asked for your permission first. i’m so so sorry!”

seonghwa tried to take a step back, but you grabbed his wrist before he could

“y-y/n?” he stared at you

you couldn’t wait anymore. not after that.

“please, do that again.”

now it was seonghwa’s turn to choke on his breath “h-huh?”

you tightened your grip on his wrist “seonghwa, this is me giving you permission. kiss me again.”

and he did

unlike the first kiss, this one was much longer and more heartfelt. you felt his arms snake around your waist, tugging you closer and closer

you could feel the way your cheeks were heating up, but at the moment you didn’t care, wanting this moment to last forever

but unfortunately, all good things must come to an end

“hey y/n, who was at the doo–holy shit!” at the sight of you and seonghwa, mingi let out the loudest screech, causing the two of you to jump away from each other

“oh fuck i forgot san and mingi were here,” you cursed under your breath. seonghwa stood next to you, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck

mingi still remained where he was in the hallway, mouth wide open in shock before he recollected himself “ohoho my god, san! text wooyoung and tell him he owes me dinner!” and with that, mingi took off running down the hall and into one of the rooms

and once again you were left alone w seonghwa

for the longest time, the two of you just stood there, refusing to speak nor look at each other

the room was so silent you could practically hear both of your hearts racing

“so uh…does this mean you and i are…?” seonghwa asked sheepishly, taking a small step towards you

you glanced up at him and couldn’t help but giggle at the hopeful look on his face

you turned towards him and flashed him the brightest grin “yeah, we are.”

the smile that appeared on seonghwa’s face at that moment was enough to take your breath away, and you had to physically restrain yourself from kissing him again

instead you opted for taking his hand in yours and entwining your fingers tgt

now that you and seonghwa were officially dating, it made studying that much more fun

when you guys started doing your clinicals, it became hard for yall to see each other, but it made your time tgt much more special when you did have time

seonghwa is a very touchy and cuddly person, so whenever there’s a short break in btwn lab or lecture, he’ll either be sitting next to you with his head on your shoulder or his arm around your shoulder and your head on his chest

the other nursing students (and sometimes the professors) would scream at how cute yall were

and bro if you thought seonghwa was your biggest motivator before you started dating, then he’s even bigger motivator now

when he quizzes you, he’ll always give you a kiss on the cheek if you answer a question correctly, or when you come back from a particularly rough shift he’ll be there to hold you and tell you that you did your best

oh yeah and to cheer you up he’ll say a bunch of anatomy jokes

“hey y/n, i aorta tell you how much i love you”

“oh god, hwa don’t even start.”

“oh c’mon, quit ovary-acting.”

“park seonghwa”

“you’re going tibia okay”

“i’m breaking up with you”

#ateez #ateez scenarios #ateez imagines #ateez au #ateez headcanons #ateez fluff #seonghwa #seonghwa scenarios #seonghwa imagines #seonghwa au #seonghwa headcanons #seonghwa fluff #college au series

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puppiedotcom · 3 years ago

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L O fucking L, sex and huge tmi under the cut bc I'm shocked rn

This week was the first week this month I felt somewhat normal and so I was pretty giddy actually and then my boyfriend just drops that he had sex w someone 6 months ago and that he also lied about it to me so that's how life is going right now lol

For context this has been an "open" relationship (that I am having a very hard time with and am basically going to end the relationship bc of) and I was aware he was going on dates w this person but he never said they had sex. He had explicitly promised he would tell me if anything physical happened with anyone!!!!!!! Explicitly said he would "keep me safe and my health in mind"!!!!!! This is especially important bc we are both HSV+!!!! We are also long distance so we aren't always able to see each other so it's important to communicate. Or that's what I wanted lol

So I saw him right after he had sex w this person and then I had my annual obgyn check up and had an abnormal pap smear and had HPV 🙃🙃 for which I had to get my vagina so lovingly scraped for tissue samples to check for cancer 🙃🙃🙃 and when I called to tell him this I explicitly asked him if he had had sex with other people and he straight up lied to me 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

[......the way I wrote this implies causation btwn him having sex w a different partner and me having HPV which is not necessarily true-- HPV can be dormant for years and is often transmitted asymptomatically. HPV is also the most common STI, and most sexually active people will have an HPV infection at least once. Abnormal paps due to HPV are also quite common and usually resolve on their own.

HOWEVER this doesn't take away from the fact that getting the call abt my abnormal pap and then going in for a biopsy was terrifying. Also the doctor said there is little risk of cancer so I just have to wait until my next check up in Dec]

Anyway I feel like a fucking chump and I have conflicting feelings rn 😔 like I even feel so weirdly good still from earlier in the day that I was making jokes in our conversation? After I blew up lmao. And I actually still want to see him and hold hands bc I'm an idiot lol.

I am so like. Astounded. And his reaction was "I thought I told you. I didn't think it was important, I'm shocked rn" bc i was literally screaming and sobbing on the phone L M A O. I don't feel "cheated on" but I feel so hurt that he straight-up lied to my question and that he literally did not think about my health at all, that he "didn't think it was important". Like! It could have been much worse!

ALSO, when we first started seeing each other, he didn't tell me he was HSV+ until AFTER we had already had sex on 3 separate occasions so........lol (then we proceeded to have sex and I contracted it which I consented to the possibility of, but then I had horrible pain for a week that he didn't really believe could happen lol). Maybe I'm "only adding to STI/STD stigma" by "fear-mongering" when HPV and HSV aren't end-of-the-world crises, bc they really aren't, in most cases. And that's important to know! That people live with them every day to varying degrees of management! But the fear (with the former) and pain (with the latter) I have felt are not meaningless.

If you read this far PLEASE please leave a comment/F in the chat. I would like some support ;__;

#*chanting* kill me kill me KILL ME #really long but i would love if someone read it and sent me some support l o l

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