#he won't feel the need to prove his masculinity to the team

[offonaherosjourney]

The end of Colin's arc in this season of Ted Lasso should include, at the very least, him driving away in a regular looking car

[idiotsonlyevent]

it actually drives me SO insane crazy how similar chie and yosuke('s problems) are.

anyone who says they aren't friends or that they genuinely don't like each other don't Get It. they just haven't had a weird high school friendship where you're so similar you sort of hate each other, but also you can't Actually hate each other, because that would mean that you hate yourself (you do) and that you want to see yourself fail (you don't). yes, they wanna punch each other; yes, they're besties; yes, we EXIST!!!

they're both... kinda outcasts? iirc chie is somewhat popular, but she def gets shit for not being "feminine enough" esp in inaba. yosuke is yosuke. junes exists.

chie is labeled as a tomboy/masculine but she doesn't really want to be; yosuke isn't "feminine" per se, but he does generally lack more stereotypically masculine interests, even his role as a "bro character" is missing junpei/ryuji's specific type of 'masculine goofiness'(??), and he is disliked enough that i wouldn't be surprised if he was seen as a (im so sorry) "beta male."

they're both jealous of their best friends, Especially as paragons of femininity and masculinity. chie because it feels like something she can't have (esp as it relates to her sexuality); yosuke because he feels that he needs to attain masculinity for social capital (and to prove that he's straight and therefore 'normal').

and they know this about each other. they have one conversation in their first year and chie has his closeted ass clocked before yosuke knows what bi people are. yosuke sees the way chie looks at yukiko and is like "i've BEEN there" < doesn't even know its gay yet

but also yosuke loves running away from his problems and denying his feelings, meanwhile chie is one of like. three emotionally intelligent people in the investigation team. but also yosuke is smarter than her. this means they are the BEST people to torment each other. they commit gendered homo/biphobic psychological violence against each other at least three times a day. but if one of them hears someone talking shit about the other?? that clown won't see the light of day. only chie can shittalk yosuke. only yosuke can shittalk chie. the rest of the investigation team is on THIN fucking ice.

this is also why theyre not allowed to date btw (to Me). besides the fact that chie is Absolutely Not At All Interested in yosuke, and he'd only be interested in "dating" her to try to prove to himself that he's straight, the only ppl ive seen ship yosuchie are straight homophobic guys who hate their wives/gfs and misconstrue their entire dynamic as "they don't even like each other, they should date" which. die. if youre a yosuchie shipper and a normal person, i salute you, you ARE gods strongest soldier.

[theangrypokemaniac]

Stop

XVI. Dirty Half-Dozen

Being a normal Trainer is now split into two separate careers:

• Gonad wants to catch, but not fight.

• Ash wants to fight, but not catch.

He must have a sappy Deep And Meaningful Bond with each Pokémon otherwise.

Can't yer just battle until it's weak?

NO!!! THAT'S BAD!!! VERY VERY BAD!!!

We shouldn't follow game rules?

NO!!! It Was Wrong Then And It Is Wrong Now.

Seems the worst of both worlds:

• Ash can't have any Pokémon until proving himself worthy and pleading for acceptance.

• D'oh doesn't give a toss about consent or feelings and gets away with it.

Spweshul Ickle Promotion Boy!

Exactly the same shape as a thingy.

Farfetch'd

He allows a fight, and Ash carts it Nurse Joy afterwards, Which Is Important.

Oh but Farfetch'd is Serious you know.

He's a battle-hardened warrior, staring into the middle distance to Remember...

He's Seen Things, man.

Every so often, he looks back, and Regrets, still mourning the buds he lost in Vietnam.

Nah. It's a duck.

I wish PoCo wouldn't force these depraved sex fantasies on us.

Mr. Mime

Now Dame Ketchum's Mimie —

IT BELONGS TER ASH I TELLS YER!!! ASH!!!

Yeah. He...never used it before...because...of the...thing.

Don't you go recalling, now. It's dangerous.

Bloody kids, eh? Ash effs off for twenty years, and now he's back, he STILL won't go home!

Well Delia swore vengeance on her ungrateful son, and sent Mr. Mime down as chaperone to slap some sense in to him.

Damn straight! Give him six of the best!

Poor fella's degraded from house proud labourer to merely pretending to vacuum.

Shape up, sonny!

Despite definitely being Ash's, said lad's only used him once, calling on Mr. Mime as literally the sole possibility for the Flute Cup.

Well what d'yer expect? He hadn't got a single other warrior to his name.

...

Bulbasaur?

Quiet you.

Dragonite

Took TEN installments to get ONE Pokémon!

Ash had a team, plus Krabby, in episode thirteen of the Indigo League!

Which is also where Big Dragonite came from a mysterious land across the sea...

See Ash developed a Deep And Meaningful Bond with Dragonair by helping it fly to live happily with family, which it promptly left and will never see again.

Good old DAMB.

And I'm most pleased to watch him receive a fully evolved powerhouse for no reason.

It calls to mind all the tedium of obtaining Dratini, followed by the endless slog of raising it forty levels, which he's skipped.

Now sidelined, Ash benefits from Pokémon arriving complete and done, with little chance for struggle and thus story arcs.

Don't want any 'journeys' taking up valuable ad space, do we?

Gengar

For the seventh time, Ketchum adopts a Pokémon abandoned by its absurdly callous Trainer, all So It May Trust Again.

Gengar Was There All Along, lurking in Sreese Lab until being invented for ep. eleven.

But no bothering the main man, respecting all that masculine authority he exudes.

Heh.

Rooted to the spot, Gengar waited years to be picked up, never ever suspecting this might be a scam.

Such dense loyalty!

Good job he's already carked and won't starve to death, mind.

Robbing Charmander's backstory, at least he can't pilfer the 'angry evolution' thread too.

Raboot's got that covered.

Riolu

Some lady Lucario happened to lay one of them dog eggs and bugger off.

Joy gave it to Ash, but that doesn't count as automatic ownership, even if it did on every other occasion.

Oh no. We need a Deep And Meaningful Bond to seal the deal.

They went through it... TOGETHER!

'Course Ash never had a Riolu before since the writers didn't know it was a fan favourite, which is what matters for adverts.

Still waiting for Ambipom to come back.

Pikachu

A mouse suffering bizarre envy of Ash's DAMB with the dog.

Balls to previous Pokémon. Pikachu ain't worried about them losers.

It's Riolu giving him grief, being Unique and Strong but also Kyewt and Vulnerable.

Hey kids! Riolu's so cool, Ash loves it more!

As you should, currently!

By the close, it's all brushed aside as Pikachu's mad fantasy.

Hey kids! Pikachu's crazy! No wonder Ash loves Riolu more!

Don't you just want one too?

Perverts.

Seeing Pikachu hitch-hike by offering his arse to motorists was so heartwarming.

Hey kids! Don't do that! Pikachu's a ho.

Wanna buy a remake? It's got Riolu! Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

...

This is evidence of evil.