#he will be put into a jar to suffocate and drown in c-
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
citrine-elephant · 2 months ago
Text
for one week, leon's body has been stagnant in "cleared customs" with no other updates and he's supposed to arrive today. i'm gonna shit my jorts if he doesn't arrive.
14 notes · View notes
starlightdreamerrs · 5 years ago
Text
I used to know her
Paring: Tony Stark x Daughter!Reader Warning: a bit sad Word count: 2.014 Summary: a year after Tony’s daughter ran away, the Avengers are sent on a mission to Boston to find the last Enhanched — where he shows up at the café his daughter is working at. [Set after Avengers: Age of Ultron]
[gif is not mine]
Tumblr media
The Avengers Tower and the Avengers Facility had a lot of things in common, and most of it made sense – but there was one room of which no one understood why it was there. It had been nearly an exact replica of the room in the old Avengers Tower, but no one knew who it was for.
Well, no one except Tony Stark. Even though he could never bring himself to enter the room, he knew its purpose and its former occupier. Sometimes, he glanced into the room from the door, but he never set foot in it. It seemed as though he was scared of what would happen if he would.
Tony Stark had a secret that just a few knew. He had a daughter – or he used to. The girl ran away when she was a little over fifteen years old, and he hadn’t heard from her since. He tried to find her, he really did, but all he found were dead ends. His heart broke a little bit more every day, and one day he just stopped actively looking for the girl. He would always wonder if she was doing alright, and he never stopped turning his head when he thought he heard her voice. He wanted to find his daughter, he truly did, but he knew that if she didn’t want to be found, she wouldn’t.
And it was true. You didn’t want to be found. You had started a new life, in Boston – which was not really far from your old life. You couldn’t bring yourself to go any further, so you decided to stay there. You found a place to live, a small apartment with a nice roommate, and got a job in a cosy café just two blocks away from where you lived.
It was quiet in the café, which was unusual for a Friday afternoon, but you liked it. You were deep in your thoughts while cleaning a table until someone tapped your shoulder. You turned to the person with a small smile on your face, but you felt your heart skip a few beats as you recognized the man in front of you.
You put up a façade and prayed that he wouldn’t recognise you as you stepped behind the counter. “Good afternoon, Sir, what can I get you?” Your voice was shaking slightly, but he didn’t seem to mind.
Tony Stark scanned the list he put in his phone and read all of the drinks aloud. The Avengers were on a mission, and he had offered to get some drinks because he got tired of waiting for instructions. If he was less tired, maybe he would’ve recognized the girl behind the counter, who quickly took in his order and turned away to make the drinks a bit too fast.
But Tony was tired, and still thinking about the mission the Avengers were sent on. They had got intel about persons that were used by HYDRA for experimenting, and the former SHIELD employees had found the last person alive in Boston, even though they didn’t know who it was. The Avengers were supposed to find out, and bring this Enhanced back to the Facility, and it was tiring.
Soon enough, Tony was back with the Avengers, sipping his drink that tasted a bit too much like the way his daughter used to make his coffee for him – but Tony was way too tired to notice any of this.
When you went to work the next day, you felt like passing out. You hadn’t slept and you were nauseous. Your father was here with the Avengers. You had yet to figure out why they were here, and it made you even more nervous than you already were.
But it got worse. Of course, it had to get worse. The moment your last half hour started, the Avengers walked into the café. Not in their gear, but in casual clothes. Your eyes trailed to your father unintentionally, but you couldn’t help it. He was talking to Bruce Banner, but his eyes focussed on you the moment you looked away.
This time, he did see the similarity between the teenager standing behind the counter and his daughter. It was strange to him, but he couldn’t stop the soft smile on his face as he said his order. It was one of the first times that he thought about his daughter and didn’t feel guilty. It was the first time that he could think about you without blaming himself, without thinking about what he could’ve done better.
He put a tip in a jar, and you stared at it with guilt in your eyes. If it had been anyone else – even from the Avengers – you wouldn’t feel so guilty. You wouldn’t feel like the world could come crumbling down every second. You wouldn’t feel like suffocating. You wouldn’t feel like drowning in your pool of thoughts. You felt awful, but you put a smile on your face and finished your shift.
  The Avengers were in Boston for weeks, and they would get drinks at the café almost every day. They started discussing their thoughts and ideas silently, but you heard every single word they said. The last Enhanced, the last person alongside the Maximoff twins who had survived the experiments of HYDRA, a person with dangerous powers – even though that person hadn’t used them for anything yet. A person who tried to keep the powers to herself. A person who had decided that it would be better for everyone around if she would run away. A person who couldn’t bare to think about the people she left behind to protect them.
Bruce Banner was the one who figured out who the Enhanced was, and they all stared at the familiar face in silence. The screen didn’t show any other information than her workplace, her school and her name. Well, her alias.
“This can’t be right.” Steve was frowning as he scrolled through her known information. “It’s like she didn’t even exist two years ago.” He supposed it had been false information that HYDRA had put there, but he didn’t know why they would do that.
“It isn’t right.” Tony spoke, heartbreak evident in his voice. He would recognise the date anywhere – because it was the date that his daughter slipped out of his grasp and into the cruel world. He didn’t need to ask FRIDAY if it truly was his daughter, because he knew. The familiarity of the girl’s smile, her (y/e/c) eyes and the way she made his coffee became all clear in his head – this had to be his daughter.
“You know her?” Bruce looked at his friend, and the first thing he saw was a mix of sadness and relief.
A grimace appeared on Tony’s face, “I used to know her.” He walked over to the screen and typed in your real name. “(Y/N) (Y/M/N) Stark. She was fifteen when I last saw her.”
“What happened to her?” Natasha let her eyes scan the new information on the screen beside your father.
“She ran away.” His empty voice nearly scared him, but he didn’t know how else to feel. “I came home one day, and she wasn’t there. At first, I supposed she was staying at her friends, but she hadn’t texted or called, and so I searched for her – it was like she wasn’t there at all. She had wiped herself out of existence, she had made herself disappear.” With tears in his eyes, Tony smashed his cup on the table, spilling coffee everywhere. “I searched for months without end. She had to be somewhere, but she wasn’t. She didn’t want to be found, so she disappeared. She hadn’t told anyone, she was just gone one day. It was like no one ever lived in her room, and some people even believed that no one ever had.”
His team stayed silent as they watched him staring furiously at her face on the screen. They knew little about what he was feeling – how could they? He never truly let anyone in, but they started to understand why he didn’t. He had lost someone so important to him that he built walls around his heart that none of them had broken down.
  You didn’t show up for your work the next day, or the day after that, or the day after that – and when Natasha finally asked where ‘the girl that usually works at this hour’ was, your co-workers said that you were sick.
They knew better. You weren’t sick, they weren’t even sure if you could get sick, but they guessed that you couldn’t bring yourself to come back when you knew they were close to finding out your true identity – and they were right.
You avoided going out, even though you knew you couldn’t live off pizza and leftovers for the rest of your life. You decided that you just had one thing to do, and that was go to them. You couldn’t wait around for them anymore, so you went to them.
You felt your heart beat in your chest as you approached their door, but you stopped before knocking. The familiar feeling of insecurity and fear made it harder for you to breathe, because what if your father didn’t love you anymore? What if you were gone for too long? What if he was mad? What if he was disappointed? What if he didn’t want you anymore?
With a deep breath which pushed your thoughts aside, you knocked on the door. Within five minutes, you were sitting on opposite side of all the Avengers. You refused to meet your father’s eyes as you answered all the questions they were asking, and everyone noticed.
Tony couldn’t believe that his little girl was sitting so close to him again. He thought he had lost her forever, even though it had just been one year – well, the worst year of his life. As you were talking, he couldn’t help but feel just a bit sad. Why hadn’t you come home? Why didn’t you come back to him? Why did you leave him alone? Didn’t you love him?
The Avengers left Tony and you alone, and your eyes were focussed on your hands. He didn’t talk for a couple minutes, even though he wanted to ask you everything that was on his mind – that wasn’t important at that moment.
“How have you been?” The words softly left his lips, as if he was scared to raise his voice louder than a whisper. You shrugged, afraid to use your voice. “Why did you leave?”
You looked him in the eyes for the first time in a year, and he saw how broken you were. Maybe you put up a pretty smile, but he saw right through it – because he still knew you. “I was scared.”
He frowned, “why?”
“Because I have something I didn’t have control over, and I was scared of what you would do if you’d find out.” Your voice died away in your throat as you looked at him, knowing that you had hurt him. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, I promise. And I would understand if you wouldn’t want me anymore–,”
“– why wouldn’t I want you anymore? (Y/N), you are my daughter, and I love you – and nothing will ever stop that, but I wish you would have come to me. We would’ve figured it out together.”
He walked over to you and crouched before you, holding your hands as he held back his tears. He couldn’t express how happy he felt in that moment, or how relieved. He finally had you back – his daughter, his baby girl, his angel – and he didn’t ever want to lose you again.
“I promise you, we will figure this out together.” He pulled you into a tight hug, and you let your tears soak his shirt. “I am not going anywhere, angel. Not now, not ever – I will be here for you whenever you need me. I love you, and nothing will ever, ever change that.”
571 notes · View notes
wreckofawriter · 5 years ago
Text
Boredom
Pairing: Draco Malfoy x reader
Word Count: 4,049
Warnings: Angst, swearing, kinda hints at depression ish
Summary: The cure for your boredom just happens to have white blonde hair and icey grey eyes.
A/n: kinda feeling like shit rn, anyway here's this.
Tumblr media
    You lay on the floor of the ballroom which resided inside your home, your arms spread like some sort of bird, your legs the same way. The room was, of course, empty, reminding you slightly of a massive tomb with its barren walls, sprawling polished marble floors and elegant silk curtains pulled tightly shut. In a way it was. 
    “More like a jail cell.” You mumbled to yourself. You weren’t sure exactly when it first started to happen but you were pretty sure it was around age twelve. As a child you were always taught the wrong thing, you were taught to avoid strangers, to mind your own business and fear stupid little things like spiders. And being young and naive you followed those directions closely, unwavering and constantly. But now you were being suffocated. Suffocated by the thing you should have avoided, the thing you should have minded and the thing you now feared more than you did anything else.
    Boredom.
    It was like darkness, it took you over slowly, it crept upon you inch by inch silently until you were plunged into its dangers headfirst. When you were younger, there was always an easy fix, you had plenty of toys to play with, a massive house to run through and enough friends to fill the room you currently lay in, but as time passed, toys became unentertaining, the house seemed to get smaller by the second and you realized friends were never truly there. So now you felt yourself begin to drown in the sea of boredom which claimed to be your life. You had tried focusing on your studies for a while but you honestly would have rather died. You tried to find hobbies but all the things that used to bring you joy now left you feeling empty and unimportant. 
So you began to do the only thing that brought any sort of feeling into your veins. You  caused trouble
So far you have turned yourself into and illegal animagus, cut and dyed your hair 7 times, pierced your ears in four places and your nose in two, given yourself multiple tattoos, you had thrown massive ragers, trashed your entire house, done more drugs than you cared to count and gotten sixteen staff members at your house fired. At this point your parents were convinced you were helpless, they never seemed to pay attention to you anyway, they had gotten you a therapist and now you went once a week and saw how quickly you could make each new shrink cry, your current record was 22 minutes. 
You groaned loudly banging your head on the hard floor which you lay, “I’m so fucking bored!” you shouted through the empty halls the only response being your own echo. You racked your brain for ideas and came up blank as you stared up at the crystal chandelier which must have been worth millions. You slowly sat up rubbing your eyes with closed fists and letting out a moan of frustration. You got to your feet which were bare, padding to the exit of the large room and beginning towards the spiral stairs which you had already climbed a number of times that day. You groaned and plopped on the first step, exhaustion for some reason making your bones feel as if they were made of lead. 
You sat there for a while staring at the hallway you had just walked, it’s the ceiling so high you had to crane your neck to see it, its walls decorated with giant portraits of relatives you have never met. You bit your lip the idea of defacing them dancing in your head. You eventually cast it away decided it wouldn’t even be very fun. 
You had a sudden urge to paint. You had plenty of massive canvases upstairs but those would not do, that is what you were supposed to do, and where was the fun in that? 
Your mind wandered back into the ballroom with its massive eggshell wall, just waiting to be decorated. Your lips widened into a smile, your eyes twinkling with sick glee and anticipation. You stood suddenly taking the steps two at a time to your room. 
You sprinted back down them a few minutes later, arms full of art supplies, you sprinted into the ballroom, unpacking all the paint. You didn’t have nearly enough to cover even half of a wall in the giant space, but you would make do. 
You grabbed the small jar of deep red, adding some brown and black to make a deep crimson before you added some water and stared at the white wall in front of you. Your lips were greeted with a rare smile once again and you threw the paint at the wall. It splattered across the wall, some bouncing straight back at you while most of it stained the wall in a gruesome scene. You watched in a trance as the paint dripped down the wall and slowly began to pool on the floor. You then plunged two fingers into the black paint not bothering with your brushes and began to drag them through the mess of red slowly letting your image fall into place. 
Your mother’s heels clipped down the hall in a synchronized symphony of disappointment. You were soaked in paint when she got home. Her eyes had widened knowing it was not going to be a pleasant work of art. 
She had attempted to have you tell her where the artwork was but you only winked telling her to find it herself, Now she trailed around the house looking for some masterpiece you spent almost the entire day on. Finally, she walked into the ballroom and her mouth dropped. 
Pasted on one of the walls was a bright splash of color. Paint the hue of rich blood splatter the background for the painting, on top of the red was a rough silhouette of what was clearly a young girl, she had her arms spread on either side of her, her hair floating around her like some sort of goddess, her eyes were the only detail added and they were painted in a startling white, wide open, conveying a level of terror. Across the middle of the work, crossing the girl’s stomach were two words, still slowly dripping white paint lazily down the wall. 
“You like it?” You asked your mother a light tease making your words taste bitter. 
“Back off!” You glared at the man who was carrying your trunks and owl. He had made the fatal mistake of bumping you with one of the bags he was holding and you now growled at him as your owl snipped at him her deep black feathers shimmering in the light. 
You walked through the brick wall before heading towards the train. A young girl stumbled over your foot and you glanced down at your now scuffed black boots. You turned your head to yell at the girl but was instead met with a pair of icy eyes. You giggled taking in the boy’s appearance, he was dressed in a trim black suit with a collar with looked like it was choking him. 
“Looking pompous as usual Malfoy.” You smirked another fit of laughter threatening to burst from your lips as he rolled his eyes. 
“Looking rebellious as usual y//l/n.” He mocked glancing up and down your outfit, “New tattoos I see.” he spoke gesturing towards his own neck. 
You gave him a closed-eyed smile which caused a crimson to bleed up his neck. “You like it?” You asked tilting your head so he could get a better look at the deep mark etched into your skin. 
He started at the scene depicted on your flesh, it showed a cobra its fangs sunk into a human heart, blood dripping from it’s wound. He resisted the urge to shiver. 
“It’s lovely.” He drawled sarcastically. 
“Always so kind Malfoy.” you giggled, you opened your mouth to speak again before you heard a sharp cough which made you wince.  You turned the light from your eyes disappearing, “Father?” You spoke sweetly, “I didn’t know you were coming.”
He glared past you at the blonde, “I thought I told you not to talk to such families.” He growled lowly.
“Oh, I just ran into him,” You lied a new sparkle dancing in your deep y/e/c. You promptly turned back to the boy standing on your toes and reaching up to cradle on of his cheeks in your hand as your lips pressed softly to the other. “Save me a seat, Dracy.” You said making sure to be louder than necessary. You then turned back to your father’s eyes which were narrowed with furry as your own challenged him, daring him to say something. 
“I would never speak to such families.” Your lips curled sickly lipstick now slightly smeared. A sudden rush of excitement met you at your father's pure furry, you finally found a hobby. 
You found immense joy at this new weakness lodged in your family. Your parents had recently become numb to the trouble you caused, your attempts had become fruitless as your parent’s tolerance built, but now you realized you had struck a much-hated nerve. The Malfoys. 
Draco was never sure what was up with you. You were a particular person, someone he could never quite read, your actions were spontaneous, almost no thought being put into them. You jumped into the world each day just as unsure of what you would do as anyone else, yet you always made an incredible splash. You intrigued him. 
When he was younger he had simply liked you because of your thirst for disorder, but as he began to grow your smiles became precious jewels, your laughter sweet symphonies and every step you took was flourished with deep red roses. You were priceless. 
You weren't friends, acquaintances was pushing a boundary, he wasn't sure which line you stepped upon but he wished it was one closer to him. 
Ever since a misjudged and unfortunate business deal between your families the y/l/n's had cut the Malfoy's from the lives.
Luckily for Draco, you were never one to follow rules, especially those made by your parents. 
Draco shook his head attempting to rid his head of the feeling of your lips, which still seemed to be pressed to his cheek. He took a seat ignoring Blaise across from him and letting his eyes drift to the window on his right. 
A bubble of laughter emerged from the cabin and his head snapped upward. 
"Blaise!" You cheered bouncing on your toes before taking your seat next to Draco, "It's amazing to see you!" 
"It's good to see you too y/l/n," he smiled, "You seem like you're in a good mood." 
"I'm in a brilliant mood!" You exclaimed, "My dad came to drop me off today." 
Blaise's eyebrows knitted in confusion before a sly smirk took his lips, "You pissed him off didn't you." 
"Naturally." You shrugged.
"I'm guessing you had quite an eventful summer." Draco murmured. 
"As always!" You lied, you couldn't quite admit that you had been crushed by the emptiness you felt not but days before, you had to ride the new high you had acquired through a simple kiss on the cheek, "I painted a mural in the ballroom, mom wasn't too happy about it." 
"I can imagine." Draco laughed.
You reach Hogwarts still quite hyper from the events that transpired at the train station, the absolute glee you felt at the hatred that rested in your father's eyes was unlike any drug you'd had before. Your mind reeled, already working to reach that peak again. 
You hummed happily in the carriage ride, you practically danced into the hall a lollipop still lodged between your lips. You felt invincible. 
Unfortunately it didn't even take a week of mind-numbing classes and monotone voices to bring you back to the routine of boredom which had become your life. 
You lay staring at the ceiling of the grand hall, it was currently breakfast, your head rested in Draco's lap as your eyelids struggled under the weight they held. 
"You okay y/n?" He asked for the fifth time that morning. 
"I'm fine." You lied fiddling with the hem of the blondes robes, your fingers dancing across his wrist as the boy fought a blush. 
He opened his mouth to protest your answer but let his words stay behind his lips as the screech of owls echoed around the hall. You seemed indifferent to the new situation until a shimmer of black caught your eye.
You sat up holding out your arm for your owl to perch before untying the letter looped to her bare leg. 
You tilted your head curiously, mail was a rare occasion, particularly from your parents. Looping golden letters printed on expensive paper proved it could only be from a higher class. You didn’t bother reading the address, curiosity burning deep within you. You tore through the golden wax, your family's seal placed upon it.  You pulled the letter from its shell, your dull eyes seeming to grow pale as you released a small groan. 
“What is it?” Draco asked peering over your shoulder at the letter you held. 
"Another fucking ball." You moaned throwing your head onto the table in front of you, "I mean how many do we need to have? It's not like anything had changed since last month. My parents just need an excuse to say, 'Hey look we're still prestigious assholes.'"
Draco snickered beside you. Blaise took the letter from your hands and you gave no protests. He scanned it before bursting out laughing. 
"It says you need a plus one." He smirked. 
In milliseconds your mood changed. Your head popped from the table a dangerous twinkle filling your eyes. You turned to Draco.
"Will you do me a favor?" You asked desperately.
"Umm sure." He shrugged, he would have jumped off a bridge if you had asked with the same enthusiasm. 
"Sweet! You're going to this bullshit with me." You smiled.
"Y/n won’t your parents be pissed?" He sighed biting his lip. 
"Royally." You responded leaning even closer to the boy, your eyes were wide with excitement, cheeks lightly flushed, hair disheveled from previous frustration, you looked angelic. Then you thrust your lips onto his. 
Draco's eyes went wide before slowly slipping shut, his hands snaking around your waist as you forced your tongue into his mouth. 
He tasted minty and slightly of blackberry jam. He smelt of expensive cologne and honey. 
You pulled away panting slightly, "Take me to Hogsmeade this weekend." It clearly wasn't a question. 
"Okay." Was all he could manage his face still beat red.
You smiled grabbing your things and walking away without another word. 
Draco turned to Blaise, his eyes wide, cheeks fiery heart thumping at an uncomfortable rate. "What the fuck?"
Blaise burst out laughing.
You weren't exactly sure why you kissed Draco. It just happened. You liked it though, the kiss was nice, it felt better than it had kissing any other boy, it felt wrong. You knew it wasn't supposed to feel that way, but maybe that's why you liked it so much, it wasn't smooth and soft, it was bumpy and rough, like water clashing harshly onto stones. You loved it. It was new and exciting and different it broke your routine, throwing a wrench into the gears of your perfectly planned out life. It was everything you had been yearning for. 
You feel an unfamiliar sense of nervousness take you over as you dressed for the ball. The gown you were wearing was far too elegant for you, its sleeves long like a Victorian queen’s, the silky fabric causing you to shiver.
You left your room in a hurry. Your makeup is not quite done right, your dress a bit wrinkled. You didn’t care, you never did. 
Draco wrung his hands, sweat seeming to be never-ending. He knew he shouldn't be nervous, your parents already hated him why was he so scared? Because it's HER parents a voice whispered. It was true. Before Draco even knew of the y/l/ns hatred for the Malfoy’s he had fallen in love, He could help but want to please your parents. A heavy sigh followed by the sound of heels on marble echoed through the small room he resided in. Draco glanced upward, his mind going blank as he caught your eye. 
You looked like a princess,  a small silver tiara topping your head of y/h/c as proof. But isn’t wasn’t the dazzling jewelry which took his breath from him, it was the light that held your eyes. The look of a child so innocent and pure mixed with that of a psychopath who had just trapped its next victim, it made you shine. Your pupils seeming to dance in a sea y/e/c. You walked straight up to him and without any words slammed your tongue down his throat, Draco seeped into the kiss pushing you back towards the wall and eliciting a small moan as you tugged on his hair. The boy was about to reach for your zipper when you pulled away from him, lipstick now smeared, Dracos own lips tinged red. 
“We should go.” you murmured before slipping from the room. He still didn't understand you.
Draco trailed after you widening his steps before catching his hand in your own. You walked down the spiral staircase which you hated so much hand and hand with the solution to your problems. Just before you reached the room which you once stained red Draco stopped pulling on your arm. 
“What's up?” You asked.
“Y/n, I don't think I can go in there, your parents hate me.” You opened your mouth to brush off his comment but then your eyes met. He looked desperate. He needed something, something that another kiss couldn't fix, something real.
You sighed before throwing your arms around the boy, “I don't care what my parents think Draco.” You lied, “I don't care that they hate you, all I want us you by my side” You felt cruel as the dishonest words left your mouth. 
You pulled away cupping his face in your hands, kissing him for the first time in your relationship, lightly, lovingly. 
“Now let's go.” You said snatching his hand and entering your jail cell, but this time you had the key. 
You enjoyed the stares that the two of you brought, but it wasn't enough. A few murmurs were exchanged but other than that business proceeded as usual. You felt like you were caught in some weird trance, not enough was happening, no one had yelled, no one had gasped, fire had not erupted from the walls, you need a reaction.
You felt he needed to break something, scream or burst into tears, you need to shatter this terrible nightmare you were living in. Your mother’s sharp gasp did the trick, you hid a smirk as she hurried towards you not even sparing a glance at Draco before dragging you away.
“What in Salazar is Malfoy doing here?” She hissed in your ear, the grip on your arm becoming slightly too tight. 
“He's my date.” you smiled, so calmly and so innocently it was hard to believe you were riding the high of her utter horror. 
“Your what!?” She rasped at you her grip on tightening.
“Date.” You repeated a grin still plastering your features.
She let out something that sounded like a whimper, “You said you were bringing your boyfriend.”
“I did.” Your lips seemed to hold an untold evil as you looked at her. 
She looked like she was about to cry, “Y/n! How could you? This is a Malfoy, we lost hundreds of thousands because of them.” 
“Correction, you lost hundreds of thousands over them.” You smirked, “By the way, I’m quite disappointed you painted over my mural, I worked so hard.” You pouted
Something new arose in your mother's eyes, she was no longer disappointed or sad or even mad, she had reached her breaking point, “You are a demon of a child.” She snarled. 
You felt as if someone had just given you an illegal pill, you reached a point of ecstasy you didn't think was possible you had done it, you had broken the sculpture of your life, “The devil did give birth to me.” You taunted. 
She stood speechless, her eyes filling with hatred.
“My date is getting lonely so I’m going to go, but thank you so much for this lovely chat,” you spoke turning on your heel and walking back to the boy who stood awkwardly by a table of elegant food. The second you reached him you locked your hands around his neck and connected your lips, your heart thumping wildly from the excitement you held. 
You pulled away and winked ignoring his questioning gaze, “Wanna dance?”
He nodded. 
After the ball, your mission seemed to be accomplished. Your parents broke their neat well put together little facade and lost it, your mother burst into tears, your father held a wand to your neck and the whole time you smiled. You smiled because it wasn't what you do every day, it wasn't the thick routine you had become so accustomed to. It wasn't the sharp timer you felt ticking behind you every moment as if you were always one step behind. It wasn't the timeline your parents had drawn for you and forced down your infantile throat. It was chaos. Absolute chaos. And you had never felt more alive.  
Just as quickly as it started it all stopped. Your parents disappeared, you went to school again and feel back into the sick loop of your life, and as your high died out and you realized you had created nothing more than a bump in the road your plan became meaningless. And so did the people in it. 
You no longer yearned for Dracs touch. His lips felt numb against your own, his hands in your hair meant nothing, the taste of caramel and smell of cologne dulled, the color he used to hold seems to be drained from him. But really his purpose had. 
He could sense it, your numbness, your indifference your complete and utter boredom. But he kept hoping. Hoping you would kiss him as you had in that ballroom, that you would hold him as you had that night, that the light in your eyes would return because your touch still sent him into frenzies, your kiss still felt like fireworks, you still tasted of butterscotch and bubblegum. Your hand in his hair still brought butterflies to his stomach. He still needed you. 
“I can’t keep doing this.” 
The boy cringed at your words, “Doing what?” 
“Just this Draco.” You seemed tired, “I don't love you.” 
Those four words effectively smashed him into pieces. He wanted to scream.
“I don't think I ever did.” You spoke dryly, wetting your lips. 
Those six shattered him, “Then why did you kiss me?” He asked, his throat felt raw and scratchy like it had been clawed apart. 
You shrugged, face still vacant of any emotion, “You were new.”
    “That doesn’t make any fuckings sense!” he burst suddenly, turning to face you. You didn't even blink.
“Nothing makes any fucking sense Draco. None of this did.” You sighed. 
“Why did you lie to me?” He snarled, "Why did you say you loved me, why did you say you needed me? Why did you make me believe you?”
You didn't speak, you weren't sure what to say.
“Why did you fucking lie to me y/n!?” He repeated, his voice cracking. 
“I don't know.” But you did know. You had always known. You needed a distraction, something to break the routine, to force chaos upon you and he did just that. He elicited the fire in your father’s eyes, he brought furry to your mother's mind and he gave you a week of freedom. And he was worth it. You would never utter it out loud, but breaking him was worth it. Because for just a moment he had cured an incurable disease. Boredom. 
Tags:
@accio-rogers
@roslea
@k3nz-doodl3
@theseuscmander
Masterlist
189 notes · View notes
imaginesebastian · 8 years ago
Text
I’m A Mess
Anonymous Asked: you should do an angst filled fic where bucky and the reader break up but realize that they love each other and get back together. it can end in fluff or smut idc either way c;
A/N: Oooo. Okay ;) thanks for the suggestion!!:) xx
Warnings: angst, mentions of depression, swearing
Tumblr media
“I just get to stand by and watch her.” Bucky muttered, sipping on his bottle of beer while he was clad in sweats and a white t-shirt. Steve sat beside him in similar attire, watching his best friend drown his sorrows in alcohol much to his dismay. 
“Sometimes things just don’t work out, Bucky. That’s the part of life that sucks but just know that you’re going to feel better one day. It’ll all make sense in the end.” Steve tried his best to comfort his friend, even going as far as to give a subtle pat to the center of his shoulders. 
Bucky could only glare at Steve, “This isn’t the right time for your shitty wisdom. My heart is broken.” 
Steve put his hands up in surrender as Bucky swigged more of his beer, “Sorry, just trying to help.”
“Nothing can help me. I’m a mess.” Bucky muttered, staring at the ground as images of you flashed through his mind. Your hair was always wild, your smile was always bright, and you were always on his mind. 
Bucky let out a jarring chuckle of disbelief, “I love her, man.” 
“I know you do.” 
“The worst part of all this is that she’s happier without me.” 
“How do you figure?” Steve asked, his eyebrows furrowing though both he and Bucky knew the answer to that question. 
Bucky threw his head back and covered his face, groaning as he felt intoxication slip in and his brain begin to fuzz up. He ignored Steve’s question, only standing from the couch and scratching at his stubble. 
You still lived in the tower, you still slept soundly a few rooms down from his. The only difference was that his arms weren’t wrapped around your body, and you didn’t fall asleep to his steady heartbeat anymore. 
It was a mutual decision at first. 
Sometimes things just don’t work out, and both you and Bucky had come to the conclusion that it was best to break it off. Now, Bucky regretted it more than anything as he had finally come to terms with his feelings for you. 
The relationship was a roller coaster. You had your fights, but you had your make-ups as well and they always seemed to overrule the fights with Bucky. 
Bucky grabbed another beer from the fridge and plopped onto the couch, getting ready for yet another sleepless night. 
Little did he know, you were having problems of your own. 
Your blankets felt suffocating and your pillows just weren’t comfortable anymore. It had been three weeks and you still had a feeling in your gut that just wasn’t right. 
A cloud of depression hung over you constantly and you managed to put on a smile in front of others, but on your own it was the worst. Your thoughts almost provoked you, and you couldn’t sleep. You could only lay still in your bed, staring at the dark ceiling. 
You’d question why you had decided to go with the break up. You couldn’t find a particular reason. You wanted to stay with him but sometimes in the heat of the moment you say things that you don’t mean. Unfortunately, he agreed. 
“I just think that we should break up.” You whispered after a long silence, crossing your arms over your chest as you watched Bucky’s eyebrows furrow. The yelling was getting to be too much.
Bucky swallowed, “Okay.” 
You threw your blankets off of your legs and swung yourself up from the bed. “Water.” You thought aloud, your voice hoarse. 
Your feet carried you out of your room and onto the cool tile of the hallway. The kitchen wasn’t far away and you were quick to reach for a glass and pour some water out of the tap. 
Your mind raced with various thoughts and you couldn’t focus on one, but you tried your hardest to, only to be met with defeat. 
Clanking noises aspired from the living room, your attention being drawn in that direction immediately. Curious, you allowed yourself to walk out of the kitchen and stood in the doorway of the living room. 
Three empty bottles sat on the coffee table, a fourth being held in the hand of none other than Bucky Barnes, who was now alone and nursing the bottle between his lips. 
He didn’t seem to notice you, only staring onto the blank T.V. with no expression on his face. His face was flushed from the alcohol and his lips slightly swollen. 
You cleared your throat, allowing your presence to be known. 
“Oh, hi.” Bucky whispered, watching you close as you walked into the room and sat beside him. 
You weren’t quite sure what had come over you, but you pulled the bottle of beer out of Bucky’s hand and took a swig of it yourself. 
The two of you sat in silence for a moment before Bucky spoke up, “Can’t sleep?” 
“Haven’t been able to for about three weeks.” You muttered, giving a tight smile to Bucky. 
Bucky only chuckled, “Same.” 
Silence washed over you again and you only drank more. Before you started hyperventilating, you opened your mouth to speak. “I love you.” 
You didn’t know why you said it, but it was one of those times that you just couldn’t keep your mouth shut. 
Bucky smiled, “I’m dreaming, aren’t I?”  
“Why do you say that?” 
“Because I’ve been miserable for weeks. I’ve been watching you laugh and smile with Natasha and Wanda and I’ve been missing you like hell.” Bucky explained, laughing even harder and throwing his head back. 
You watched him clutch his stomach as he continued to laugh and you leaned backward slightly, “You’re scaring me.” 
“God damn it, you infuriate me sometimes. But I love you more than anything.” Bucky muttered, calming down and looking at you long enough to gauge your reaction before you grabbed his jaw and pulled his lips onto yours. 
It was a welcoming feeling, his plump lips on yours yet again. His hands stayed on your hips while you straddled his thighs and breathed in his heavily scent once again. 
“I love you.”  You whispered, biting your lip and kissing him again. A grin stretched across his lips as he held you close and rested his forehead on yours, just staring into your eyes. 
“I’m glad you two pulled your heads out of your asses and made up.” Tony spoke from the doorway, rubbing sleepiness out of his eyes. 
You jumped away from Bucky and sat beside him. 
Tony walked into the room and picked up the empty beer bottles before turning away. “Don’t fuck on my couch!” He called back, causing your face to go red and to bury it in Bucky’s shoulder. 
At least life was going to be better from now on.
183 notes · View notes