#he wasnt just fighting him to fight him although i wouldnt blame him if he did bc that bitch is so punchable but he did it for mako's honor

[lestbian]

mako and white boy are so cute what the fuck...

[jemwritesstuff]

Ace Visconti x reader □

"you broke into my apartment drunk thinking it was your friend's house and i should call the cops but my cat kinda likes you so we're good now" AU cause my inspiration has fucked off. couldnt think of anyone else but trash husband for this lol sorry for being so late btw! been drowning in school work so i just decided to literally vomit this out, might edit later or not

word count: 1233

content warnings: alcohol, ace hopefully being ace, dwights implied relationship with david, a cat, takes place after the Fog, swearing

▪︎▪︎▪︎

waking up to the sound of someone meddling with your kitchen window is not pleasant. especially when that kitchen window is on the third floor of an apartment building.

next came the tumble of presumably whoever opened the window getting in and dropping to the floor. something also crashed down from the countertop.

that someone also cursed very loudly. i cringed and got up from the bed, every nerve in my body ready to make the ultimate fight or flight decision. phone in one hand and the trusted baseball bat from under the bed in the other i sneaked from the bedroom to the hallway leading to the kitchen. i heard a meow and bit back a curse. if this fucking burglar dared to touch mr. mittens i wouldnt hesitate to bash their skull in.

"oh my god you are the cutest motherfucker in this realm" came in the voice of the burglar who slurred and i could hear mr mittens starting to purr. motherfucker touched my cat.

"since when's dwight had a cat?" the burglar wondered out loud. something clattered to the floor. "AND YOURE ORANGE? i should visit dwight more often"

i peaked a look into the kitchen. the guy sitting on my kitchen floor was obviously drunk. he didnt seem to have burgling intentions in his mind or then mittens is just too good of a distraction. he didnt look too strong either, tall maybe, but he was quite slender from his figure. the dirty cap he had on along with the cheap-ish suit really didnt make him look that indimitating. also the fact that he was babytalking my cat.

i decided i could take him on easily with the bat and jumped the kitchen, turning the lights on.

"what the fuck are you doing in my kitchen?"

the guy yelped and blinked his eyes a couple of times, not really used to the bright light. "hi, you must be dwights fiancé then. hi, im ace. although i have to admit i thought youd be a lot more... hmm, masculine so to say or like a lot more"

"what the absolute fuck are you on about? i dont even know any dwights." i countered, still gripping the bat tight.

"are you saying im not in dwight fairfields apartment? i thought it was this one. although he did tell me to come to the door and not through the window like i did." he pondered and scratched his grey-ish hair under the cap. "it actually makes sense. dwights always been a fish tank person anyway"

mittens curled up in 'aces' lap and started purring even more loudly to gain attention.

"well hello to you." he started scratching mittens again. "unlike him, ive always been a cat person. if id have to pick an animal to live the rest of my life as itd have to be cat. imagine just laying around in sun all day, getting scratches every time you want? ideal."

at this point i had to admit i was at a loss. someone broke into my house DRUNK and was now rambling on and giving my cat as much attention as hes ever wanted. i had to pinch myself just to make sure i wasnt actually dreaming this whole thing.

i took a few more moments to wrap my head around this all and ended up sighing loudly.

"you break into my apartment-"

"entered without permission!"

"broke my fucking flower vase-"

"disassembled."

"and you are now stealing the heart of my cat-"

"i could steal your heart too!"

"in the dead of the night on a weekday-"

"in my defense i lived years in one day-"

"and youre fucking drunk."

"blame the brit."

"what the hell is your deal?"

"well for first timers i always give a little discount-"

"get. real." i growled.

"okay so honestly i did think this was my friends apartment. secondly, felines love me, there's nothing i can do about it. thirdly, king challenged me to drink with him and i aint one to turn down a free drink or five"

"so you're a drunk junkie?"

"what? no, no, no, no. king's a friend of mine, he ain't never even seen a monarch in his life."

mittens meowed loudly demanding more attention from the stranger who was busy flailing around with his hands trying to explain.

"whats his name?" he asked and continued his babytalking. if the situation was anything else i mightve thought it to be cute. cute-ish.

"mister mittens." i grumbled. deeming him unthreatening, i let the bat go, placing it carefully on the kitchen table.

"thats a fucking amazing name. mr mittens youve won me over." mittens seemed extremely pleased for the attention he was receiving in the dead of the night and continued purring and rolling around on his lap. ace was happily providing for my cat without a care in the world. 

i sighed and pinched myself again. the whole situation was too bizarre to be anything but a wild ass dream. 

“whats your name?” he asked. “i feel like i should call you something else in my head than the one whose apartment i accidentally broke into” 

i hesitated but mr mittens had always had a good people sense; i remember once when i brought a one night stand home and he immediately started hissing and clawing at them. later i found out they were actually cheating on their partner. now he was basically trembling from excitement and giving everything he had to get some pats from this stranger.

i told him my name.

"lovely name for someone with a lovely cat" he stated and grinned wildly. the cap was close to tipping off his head but he didnt seem to mind.

i shook my head, "youre lucky he likes you."

"oh, that i am i assure you." 

"youre gonna have to pay me back for that vase" i demanded, "and i think we're taking you to this dwight now."

"i can do that. ya just gotta give me your number and we'll figure out a date." 

i frowned at him. he somehow managed to shoot back an even larger grin. 

as it turned out, 'dwight fairfield' lived in the complex next to mine, so i decided to walk the man there, through the door this time, and make sure he doesnt break into any more random apartments. mittens was saddened by his leave and desperately clung to him, successfully forcing himself with us on the short walk.

surprisingly, dwight was real and actually opened the door when ace knocked on it. he was fussing over the older man and scolding him for dragging me into this. they didnt seem like they should be friends, but i didnt think they were related either. asking seemed too rude even in the dead of the night.

"youre being ridiculous, mittens." i sighed yet again when he still rather decided to stick to the man who gave him pats for a few moments instead of his legal and loving owner.

"i told ya, love, felines adore me. maybe itll help if you promise that we'll get to see eachother again?" his smirk never seemed to falter. 

i frowned. the only thing i wanted when going to bed a few hours prior was a good nights sleep. i rubbed my eyes. 

i cursed.

"stop by in the morning to return my fucking cat."

[rosachaotic]

22, 23 and 36 for Cereza and Talbott please 👌

22- What petty opinions do they not agree on?

Talbott is very petty in general as we see in canon, but he is very petty with divination which is something Cereza believes. So yeah, it isnt a big fight/argument but its more like them teasing eachother and being petty about it(they agreed to respect eachother opinion although Talbott being a little shit likes to tease Cereza about it)

23-Why did they choose each other?

Cereza always liked Talbott's personality, yeah he is kinda rude sometimes but inside that "cold" persona is a guy that cares for his friends and wants to be there for them in his own way. He helped her alot and was also very kind to her in his own way, when he took blame when Filtch found them in his room Cereza knew that Talbott was a good guy and a loyal friend. Slowly she started falling for him even more as she started to spend more time with him and know more about him. No only that but he was understanding and patient with her, he understood when she needed time for herself or when she didnt want to talk about he never pushed her to do something she didnt want to do he was there for her to listen and help her if she asked for his advice or a helping hand.

She also loves the little things about him that he shared with her and that she saw on him, she cant explain why every small thing she learned about him it made her fell even more for him.

Cereza also found Talbott's intelligence admiring. He almost always knew what to say or do and she has always found that amazing about him. It was also kinda atractive for her.

In short she knew she could trust him, she knew he wouldnt force her to do anything she didnt want to do and she also fell in love with his true self(aka the quiet nerd that secretly cares for everyone alot and watches over them)she also thought he was cute in his own weird way

As for Talbott it isnt a secret that he found Cereza atractive when he first saw her face and eyes without her hair covering it, but that of course wasnt enough for Talbott to be interested in Cereza romantically. What made him get interested in Cereza was her personality, her strength and how smart she could be.

Cereza always looked as this small and fragile girl but in reality she is one of the most strong duellist at hogwarts and could take anyone down it she wants, she is strong both physically and with magic. Yeah she is a little chubby but that doesnt mean she cant have strength in her arms(she can carry almost anyone in her arms, even if they are bigger than her)

Cereza can also be very smart on her own way, her inteligence and abilities with magical creatures and duelling never failed to amaze Talbott and he could listen her go on about these two things for hours.

Her personality was also something he admired alot, Cereza is a very kind, sweet, and understanding friend who was also very gentle in her own way, Talbott never understood how Cereza was always like this but as he spend more time with her he learned about this kinda chaotic, energetic and curious hufflepuff who he found amusing and started to like as well.

She is also respecful with his boundaries and never pushed him on limits, like to talk about something he didnt want or to do something he didnt want even when she was know for being curious she still respected his wish to not talk about things he didnt want to, sometimes she would just sit with him in silence if he didnt want to talk and she just be there for him which is something he appreciates alot.

He fell for her and he fell hard, she is his muse and he will always admire and love her.

36- Why should your readers root for them?

I thought about this question for a while and i have the answer thanks to a help of a friend who helped me express my words on english:

Cereza and Talbott helped better eachother and improved their lifes by being supportive,loving and understanding of one another. While I wont say that they cant live without eachother (which is not true and I lowkey hate that thrope) their companionship and love helped make things better in their lifes, not only that but they learned alot with eachother and opened their eyes for other perspectives of things they never thought about it.

Thanks to their relationship they started seeing their own flaws, what they can improve and what they can do to help eachother be better as well.

They learned and will learn alot while being together.

[ceffythesquirrel]

Analogince Headcannons

This ship has been on my mind lately. It is underrated. I'm not leaving Patton out, but in this AU he is Aro/ace. I'll have some headcannons including him.

It begins with Roman and Virgil getting into a relationship.

It's a rocky start for them as they seem to always be fighting.

But they soon come to realize that Logan stops most of their fights and reasons through them.

One day Virgil and Roman talk it over and believe they wouldnt be able to uphold their relationship without Logan.

So they sit Logan down and tell him how they feel. And Logan is a flustered boy. He asks them to wait while he thinks it over. He promises to give them an answer soon.

Meanwhile Virgil and Roman try to hold it together. They do the best they can with each other and sometimes it works other times it doesn't.

Patton watches from the sidelines and sees how much Roman and Virgil need Logan and talks to the logical side.

Logan finally agrees and goes to tell the boyfriends the good news.

Logan gets tackled to the ground by Roman then flopped on by Virgil.

With a smile on his face, Logan feels complete and content.

Queue Patton on the sidelines with a camera taking pictures of all the special moments.

Analogince cuddle sessions. Usually its Virgil and Logan sitting and talking, then a feral Roman jumps across their laps demanding attention.

They each get a little jealous if two of them are kissing. But they eventually get a kiss if they werent the first one to be kissed.

Roman picks up Virgil and Logan constantly. Virgil has only picked up Logan once and refuses to pick up Roman, just because he's the heaviest.

Logan was able to carry Roman exactly 1 foot before both he and Roman toppled over each other on the ground. Logan will carry Virgil only when absolutely necessary, but Virgil loves it.

Roman will give neck kisses like no tomorrow and neither side can handle it without laughing or blushing.

If its movie night, the person in the middle is going to get all the attention.

They do gang up on each other lovingly.

Virgil and Roman ganged up on Logan to attack him with silly string.

Roman and Logan ganged up on Virgil by stealing him from his room when it was his birthday and carrying him out to the table. They then fed him his birthday cake because he was too lazy to use his hands. He precedes to get the whole cake shoved in his face. The other two sides ate it off of him.

Virgil and Logan pranked Roman for a whole day by pelting him with nerf guns everytime he began to sing. They were locked and loaded ready to fire at him at anytime.

If Roman or Virgil ever have trouble sleeping, Logan will read to them. If Logan is sick, they return the favor.

If Virgil slides down the banister, someone (Roman) almost always catches him at the bottom of it and twirls him around.

They each have melt spots that if rubbed will completely turn the side into a happy puddle of goo. If Virgil's hair is played with his voice dies out and he just has happy contented sighs with a smile.

If Roman's lower back is rubbed or scratched he will shiver and wiggle with glee under the hands of his boyfriend.

If the back of Logan's neck is rubbed, whatever he was talking about will fade away and will be replaced by the babbling of incoherent words and lean into the touch gently.

Roman and Virgil have regular pillow fights. Roman suggest they have a pancake and pillow fight, but Logan said no. So to spite him, Virgil ordered pillows shaped and printed like pancakes.

Virgil has a habit of stealing Roman's boots. He just does. They fit him perfectly and dont look too bad with his regular outfit.

Virgil and Logan were having a playful argument while Virgil was being carried about if pluto was a planet still and when Virgil said no, Logan took personal offense and held him upside down in the air until he took his words back. (Logan's arms got tired first.)

Virgil is much lighter than Roman and Logan is about the midweight between Virgil and Roman.

Logan is an inch shorter than Roman and Virgil is four inches shorter than Logan.

Roman has given multiple piggy back rides to Virgil, and only one to Logan. Only because it hurt his back afterwards.

Virgil hides all the Crofter's and treats Logan and Roman to them if they were good. Literally, he feeds them spoonfuls of crofter's to get them to do the chores so Patton doesn't have to.

Roman and Logan actually argue a lot in the relationship. But there is no malice. Its just banter. Although Logan was supposed to be the mediator, they all are at some point, and that is how it should be.

Virgil and Logan dont argue much, but both Lo and Ro can be too much for Virgil's anxiety attacks. The other can normally picks it out and tell them to calm down.

Roman moves around all the time in his sleep. In order to sleep some nights, Virgil and Logan have to encase the wiggly prince with their bodies.

Virgil snores and Logan talks in his sleep. They all three sleep with their mouths open.

They all awoke with whipped cream in their mouth one night. They all blamed Patton, even if Patton kept saying he was innocent.

It's hard to cuddle on the couch. They don't all fit. Well they can somewhat fit if Logan and Roman cuddle first and then Virgil lays on top of them.

Roman noogies Virgil and Logan frequently.

Virgil enjoys tweaking Logan's nose because it flusters him. Roman finds out and won't leave the logical aspect alone afterwards.

Logan's nose is another melt spot. Poke it and he won't be able to finish a single sentence.

"Got your nose!"

"Nooooo..."

"Aww c'mon Lo. You love it."

"Nooooooooooo..."

"I'm gonna boop your nose, geek squad!"

"Roman don't you dare!"

"Boop!"

"Nngh...I hate you."

"No you don't."

"No...I don't."

Roman steals the blankets and sets up the romantic dinners.

For Roman's birthday, they set up a romantic dinner for him. He was overjoyed.

Virgil just will borrow anything he needs from the other sides. Usually its an article of clothing. One day he'll come out in Logan's unicorn onesie or Roman's sash. He actually stole one of Roman's capes and started to pretend he was him.

A partially offended Roman chased a giggling Virgil all around the mind palace that day. And Logan was on the couch cackling up a storm.

To keep him from going on quests, Logan has replaced Roman's sword with random items. No one knows why it takes Princey so long to figure out that he has a banana strapped to his belt instead of his trusty weapon.

They just dont want him to to and get himself harmed.

They got Logan a swivel chair so they can pull him away from his work whenever they need too.

Virgil has made an effort to sit in the living room more and be with his boyfriends. Sometimes They fall asleep there together.

Patton couldn't be more proud of his kiddos.

They never leave Patton out though. Patton one time could be heard wailing on the couch. And they all came out of their rooms to comfort him.

He was just feeling a little lonely, like his friends had all left. They assured him they weren't trying to leave him out even if he wasnt in the relationship.

They always made sure to include him.

Can you tell I love this ship?

[thelifetimechannel]

[lokbobpop]

Father

Father' comes from the Proto-Indo-European “pəter” and Old English 'fæder,' meaning “he who begets a child,” reflecting the baby-talk sound “pa” as well as a phonetic shift from 'p' to 'f' in Middle English

Father fat her fa ther fa the r f ather

Writing father

When i saw i had this word yesterday for today i was liek not really wanting to look at it as i dont have anything much nice i actually liked about my father he was a drunk he was verbally abusive he was self absorbed yes i recon some narcissistic actions within him i think we all have on some leve;l though, but at the end of the day wheni was young i loved my dad but it all went wrong he went wrong he lost his way and we all felt how he lost his way he was fearful for sure he had lost all and gave up he didnt see what else to do and if he did he wouldnt do it so that was it im not sure how old he was at the time when he lost it all but he’d been a drunk fro many years a before that id say in my early teens shit started to go down and it just started to ge worse and worse all the time he was a angry man.

Reading father

When i have seen fathers of other people who have lovely dads i have felt jealous i didnt have a dad like that why not why couldn’t i have a normal dad that would support you why did i have a dad that was self absorbed it didnt seem fare not all dads were the same i wanted one like theres but of cause there were dads i didnt want any dad that was a drinker i didnt want for sure.

Chris is a father to my girls although i have thought a few time he could have done more but so definitely could of i i could have dotn so much more myself so saying h=this i about him i know isnt write at all

Father as in the vicar when call him father weird or what as he ain’t your father and the furthest thing from it mind you some vicors/father might of been better than mine maybe as some fathers arent that great themselves.

When i was young id go fishing with my dad i liked hanging out with my dad and my dad liked me he even told me i was his favorite which made me sick that i wasnt my mums anf my brother was but when i was young i did like to hang out before the drinking become uncontrollable but then i was going to the pub with him where sometimes he’d get angry at me in the pub out me down once in a pub he told me he had an affair and he though a friend of mine had told me because she had seen him with another women but no they happened i felt sick how could he do such a thing when i got home i walked straight in the house past mum and went to bed i didn’t know what to do 20 years later when i did tell my mum she said it wasnt true even though i think she got up to things hey.

Saying father

Disappointment comes up that i did have a good dad

Vicor/father again

Just imagine what it would of been like with a normal father who loved hos family didnt hate his family didnt want to fight every night didnt want to put you down every night but loved you just imagine what my life would of been like would i have been much happer? I ask myself yes i would of i would of been so much happier than i was as a child

Sf

Does this definition support me no a dislike for my father to the point i hope he is here watching me right now and feeling bad for what he had done to me and my family that i hope he sees what a complete twat he was how he was so self indulgent he was but i know he did see this when he died and nothing in this will see him as wrong as it’s all about me how i handles those moments of anger from him how i moved myself within me now and then so i take responsibility for me now no more blame no more sadness its over he’s gone he’s had to deal with what he did i have ot deal with what i did and thats that.

Father faith her

Father

To be both guardians to my children to be male and female support to my children to learn from my past to create a better further for my own children to use what i know about parenting to see what is needed who to be to be both father and mother to my best ability.

I will live this word to support me in being a better mother to learn from my past so the same doesnt happen again to undo the mistakes i have done and create a new :)

[in-paradox-space]

you’re right

we are just choosing to be depressed.

you call it a cold room but I find warmth in the dark blanket of gloom.s

Why is it? We choose the feeling of sorrow over joy.

I suppose if we hold onto it long enough then we can pretend we aren’t the reason. 

We can pretend there’s a we.

Who is he?

Do I need to keep toying with this idea that I am multiple.

Sure, we’re the same person, yes, we are. I need you, you need me and I need I

b u t

We wouldn’t have different desires if we got along

although

we do love each other

what was the moment

was it an indentation

a crack

a split? 

when did I part ways

I remember that younger age

staring into the mirror

Yes. I love myself.

Like a magnet attracted to itself... repulsing any other who came near.

I remember

4 years old 

my dad loved to show me action movies

I don’t care much for fighting now, even then I didn’t, I liked the movies though.

hehe

I remember jumping for joy at the sight of him beating my mother

It used to annoy me so much how my sisters would freak out and yelp

I noticed they’d just make it worse. It completely bewildered me, how this would happen so frequently, enough to make it abundantly clear, how every time they reacted it got worse.

If it bothered them so much then why react? Just accept it. 

I accepted it... because I embraced it. I loved the violence... when it was associated with my father. 

Like I said, not really much of a fighter myself. The movie scenes were always cool though. Especially enjoyed fighting with my dad, although I don’t even remember the moves he taught me I felt like he knew such huge secrets. Such unexpectable tactics, using an opponents body against them. He was the first one I learned that from, I loved it, he knew exactly what someones natural instinct was to defend themselves, so forward-thinking to use that as a means of offense. 

my sisters thought I didn’t understand. I did understand.

I understood they couldn’t control their emotions.

I understood they didn’t really love their mother. If they did then they would’ve understood. They would’ve understood their role. 

I understood, my mother provoked him each time. 

I was 4. Knowledge is learned, but at that age, you just know things, your mind is fresh. You don’t need knowledge, before any time has passed you’ve retained enough information to already have learned.

It became clear step by step. She knew him well enough, they’d been together 2 decades or so. She understood what made him tick. I was only 4 right... I didn’t understand anything did I? Well, I understood what I saw. 

She knew what made him angry. The arguments would reach a logical conclusion. They’d both reach an equal exchange. After much aggrieviation he would accept he did wrong. She wouldn’t, but he was willing to move on if she would just stop shouting at him, he understood she didn’t want to acknowledge anything she did as unjustified.

Then he’d get that look. 

She must know him well enough. I mean, there’s two sides to it. If she cared about herself, she would know just to leave it be at that moment. Provoking him more would have the same result as it always had. Every other day, I remember about 3.5 years of it but who knows maybe it was before then too. 

That’s enough time to recognise every little detail intuitively isn’t it?

I recognised those moments of remorse. 

He’d beg her just to help him 

just to cooperate. 

Then. If she cared about him. If she cared about him she would recognise that any emotion is too much when someone gets to their limit. He doesn’t act like that normally. There’s a reason for it. 

She just didn’t stop. 

She just

didn’t stop. 

The problem is

although, i cant say its a problem because I have to be grateful with my life for it 

is that she started in the first place. 

too stubborn to stop. much like me right now. 

the truth is

I really enjoyed it back then, watching them fight. 

I would love to get good looks at it 

sometimes I’d shout encouragement

go on dad, punch her, yeah! 

It was so exciting. 

Even now, I do find some glee in the thought. 

Of course, I don’t want it now, but I remember the times clearly enough.

tis a shame

they’d always ruin the moment by screaming and crying. it would annoy me so much. I’d tell them shut up. 

damn

that must’ve really screwed em up

i can imagine what it felt like for someone who actually had typical baseline emotional associations for their family members

they was older than me. I imagine they watched their loving father grow more and more stressed, antagonized and relentless. 

it was like, only until we got older, I was the only one who saw the horrible sides of my mother. The neglect. Neglect with the voice of a forced smile. Forced as if someone was literally holding a gun to her. Does it hurt that much? You don’t need to smile and pretend to care mum. I wouldn’t have expected you to care every time. disinterest was completely fine. shame you bottled it all up, concealed it, so poorly. that was so much worse than disinterest.

I got disinterested too you know. 

Shame you had to bottle it into neglect. 

I know it was hard though. I know I was tough. 

Truth is. 

I’d say, I’d put down cigarettes for you. 

but would I? I never really did pause my games for you.

I guess we was both responsible for the cloud of smoke which stopped us sharing our air. 

your mother was right

I’m sorry to bring her into such a note. 

You should have disciplined me.

Funny, how I feel I’m able to blame you for the fact I’m even writing something like this. 

Funny. 

Now I look back. 

If only you disciplined me

yeah we’ll pin it all on that

I bet if you just didn’t smoke... I can’t even imagine it.

starting at age 9

you must’ve had a real tough time back then

honestly

I would love to hear in depth what you went through

im 21 

all I know is some sentences from your entire youth 

childhood to young adulthood 

I would love to know

every, single, minute nuance and indiscrepency of that time when you was 8

even more delightsome

every memory precursing it from 7 and even 6. 

I remember the story of the little chicken you bought

a small price

you had to take it back though. your mum wouldn’t let you keep a little chicken in your room.

well. 

maybe. I know its complicated

but it would have been nice if you all understood back then

that you should have allowed me to be excited and joyful, of my father beating my mother, of my mothers verbal spite returning to her in physical form. 

you didnt need to shield me from the realities. I already saw every detail enough to remember it before I was 4.

No, that didn’t traumatize me. 

I think, I’d be a lot (less) different if it did. 

you didn’t need to shield me.

In my flowery, blossomic fantasy. 

Aysh, my dear sister, you didn’t need to scream and cry.

You could’ve smiled warmly at the fact your darling brother found even this delightsome. 

There’s reason to be joyful in any situation.

My older ones. 

All you did was get in the way. There was no way you could stop me seeing it. Do you think, in the slower perception of time I had in my young brain, that I didn’t absorb every single speckle of detail in the scenario with the long 5 minutes I had to watch it unfold

the 5 minutes you was completely oblivious and dumbfounded

brushing me off to another side of the room wouldn’t stop me from seeing anything

besides i could hear it. 

why did you even make yourselves watch it if you didn’t like it. 

you could’ve stopped it too.

“mum, you’re making him angry. I know you’re upset but just be patient with him. If you give him some space to breathe he’ll show you he already loves you.”

you just had to be patient with him

I guess when you’re hooked on nicotine since age 9, your 4 year old son has taken all your patience for himself. 

Around age 5. 

Although, it honestly dampened my soul to do so.

I copied and imitated my sisters.

It would make them freak out so much more when I screamed in excitement.

Then it would ruin the experience. 

It would annoy me so much. I still feel remnants of the annoyance now. That irritating sound of my sister ugly crying and wailing. the low, long sob. Just pull yourself together. Like, why cry so soon? Just stop. Wow. Why do you even care? 

Look. I care about you... without the thought of you reacting so maternally. 

but come on

why ugly cry so desparingly? Just like. why cry so much each time? It’s happened for years hasn’t it? Why aren’t you numb to it yet? It got boring. It honestly got boring. 

oh same old reaction is it dad? Don’t you get tired of the same old fights and arguments mum? You both know exactly what you’ll say and act... might as well just not acknowledge each other.

You know

the most ridiculous part of it

she would always hit him first

over and over and over again 

like she was literally asking for it

communicating with her hands

go on hit me back hit me hahahaha youre not allowed are you hahahaha you just have to hold onto those tears, mind if i abuse you some more, hit me back, hit me back, hahaha, what are you going to cry in front of your children? no? gonna get angry instead oh boohoo, over and over.

following him as he walked away

literally 

what on earth do you expect?

what really annoyed me

was the fact she’d always get so upset when he finally fought back

and he wouldnt even hit her straight away

he’d do everything he could, knock over furnitures, shout, tell her, even plead with her, just stop, leave me alone, i dont want to argue tonight.

then she’d act like it wasnt her fault

like somehow, she didnt cause it all to happen.

she would tell us all the different ways in which he’s evil.

but she underestimated me because I’m young, i supposedly dont know anything and will believe what I hear

but i saw about 5 events a second, I’d have minutes at a time to watch before anyone else even clocked on. I’d say these things like 20 minutes to maybe 45 but its hard to tell because time was slower back then. honestly felt like 2 hours or so. bored out of my mind, not allowed to watch tv because my sisters were freaking out too much

5 minutes every other day. it becomes very easy to spot the recurring events. then notice in which order they happen. which responses only come when a certain previous event has happened. I knew, i could actually measure, by looking at him, how close to the limit he was, when he reached the limit and how further over the limit he’d need to get for it to physically manifest beyond my awareness and into acts of frustration.

either telling me no you cant watch tv right now or no look away

are you stupid

hahaha

shouldve told me to stay in my room and close my ears instead

maybe that way i wouldve been properly traumatized and scared

then maybe i wouldnt be such a freak now

because id have regular memories to talk through with CBT

 but i wouldnt be scared of my father

you just took your mothers information at face value.

but i saw everything that happened.

and most of all

i didnt just hear his words. i heard HIM

i understood he had a short fuse, he got angry, sometimes he’d even smack us 

but he never hurt us if we didnt do something wrong

he wouldve never laid hand on us without good reason

and yes he’d make sure it hurt but it was only enough to remember what we did and think about it. 

it baffles me

how did they think he would ever hurt them

even when we made him angry

he wouldn’t do that. 

he even tried his hardest, not to hurt the mother of his children

but she literally begged him to attack

legally

you cant beg, ask or plead with somebody to do something without using words

but humans dont exist within the confines of the law

They do exist within the law of the Lord. 

what im saying is, although in a court of law its a discrepency 

you can communicate with your body

with your energy for use of another word

with actions

how absolutely numb do you have to be to not understand, those actions make him  attack you

its not even about standing up for youself

you wouldnt have to stand up for yourself if you didndt provoke him

if youd just love him and forgive him, then we’d all stand for each other

no standing alone for yourself

and only yourself, but in the long run, for nobody. 

so to summarise

what im getting at is

when i was 5. i stopped expressing my excitement. 

and i couldve comfortably stayed there.

i couldve just watched. 

but i skipped a few steps. i decided to mimic and imitate my sisters

why? because children are impressionable? i dont know. i just did it and mimiced. it. i dont know if its because i wanted thme to think i was like them. 

maybe. i was always isolated in how completely different i was from everyone else. maybe even my sister was a consolation at that point, to share a likeness to.

so for a while I would scream, and cry. i was more elastic then, it was easy to produce tears. or would i even cry? id just scream like they did. annoyingly hold onto my sisters and pretend to be scared like they would with each other

yay. were now in this together. 

were doing the samre things.

ugh

that really ruined it. 

they believed it. I wish they’d know me enough to know that wasnt genuine. 

so i stopped 

i stopped pretending 

but by then i didnt enjoy it 

i just found it really annoying that my mum always complained

she would cry

act trapped

all this all that

she didnt love him

and we couldnt care any less

we understood the problem would be solved if she would jsut kick him out, its not like hes holding the family together or anything

but every day no mater how much she’d annoyingly yell and screech shes gonna leave him and kick him out

she would just take him back in 

for like a whole year after that

until i turned 7

it went on and on and on. the same old monotonous reactions. how can the exact same thing, being repeated over and over, incite the same emotional response each time

how on earth is it possible for you not to just lose interest by then to the point you dont even care enough to get angry

i knew i was bored of it 

i just wanted to live my days

but my sisters, who, as far as i knew, had had AT LEAST 3 years to get used to this, always always had the same shocked reactions

wheres the shock? its just dinnertime.

its literally

just 7pm. 

Thankfully, we had time to watch the simpsons. 

it is just 7pm

this is what happens when dad gets home

why are you shocked?

is it a surprise that he didnt give her a rose and lovingly eat dinner

its not a surprise to me 

your idiot little brother who didnt know anything and loves to eat up little white lies like the blind deaf imbecile he is.

why lie? like why?

youre so stupid. you always were. you always underestimated me. it was so horrible of you. to act like just because im 3 and 5 years younger than you that i know less than you, that its my job to pretend to believe your lies. 

why do you think my lack of knowledge is an invitation for you to hide the truth from me

if im in this world, the same world as you, why tell me im in a slightly different world which looks feels and sounds just like the one we share. 

why did you underestimate me? because of my age.

theres a difference between elasticity and plasticity.

i dont say youre stupid because youre old

why do you assume im clueless because im young 

youve had your clues

why dont you humble yourself and ask me for the NEW CLUES

do you think thats it? because you noticed patterns in your upbringing that the netire world will never change? is that what you thought? 

if we both respected each other. if we both understood we could teach each other

then at the least 

it wouldnt annoy me so much  that you would lie to me

maybe it wouldnt annoy me so much that when you tried to teach me division

you made me follow you into the bathroom, so you could hold my homework whie sitting on the toilet, just to make me watch you draw on the back of my homework sheet without even asking permission

why was that? you would always use your height and stature to avoid me coming near your room

but whenever i had something you liked, you’d take it and destroy it, share it with your friends to scribble on and cover it in glitter

there was 3 of you 

there was 3 of you

you didnt need my things. 

you didnt even respect what I had

so you couldnt have wanted or cared about ti that badly

if you love something you destroy it? is that what it is

so, didnt really summarise.

i think thats when my mind split apart into more than one

more than one dude 

but shared

there at the same time

using different connections to understand different things then trying to combine the thought 

but not really settling on one thing.

yeah

it was when

i had to pretend to be normal. when i got sick of that feeling, of them wondering why im so different, in enjoying watching my father fight my mother. 

i had to pretend it upset me.

then, there was two(+?)

me

and the veil I hid behind

but i was flexible back then

it wasnt just faking expression, I was like method acting 

and honestly it really ruined the buzz

i did a lot of pretending after that

when my father left

id just repeat stuff i heard other kids say

i thought it was so dumb. stuff i had no interest in. but i just knew, at those times in introductions and conversations and in response to certain events, the kids who had friends would react like that ... so so so stupidly. they was so dumb. you’re kids. you have such a clear mind HOW CAN YOU BE SO DUMB

maybe thats what comes with being able to trust your parents ha ha ha

and yeah

in some ways, that was worse than being alone

its like i was living 

but i was already dead

please forget how many other people have already said those words and read it again like its the first time, so you can truly understand

its like i was living, yes.

but inside, the real me. I wasnt allowed to live, because as long as I lived, I would be treated like I shouldnt be. Like people dont want to breathe the air around me. 

They gave me the look, the one which resembled how that part of me, behind the door, in the darkness of the light which shines through it to the back of my mind, felt, when they failed to remember the basic things which they had already been taught.

it was upsetting.

its like i was living.

but i wasnt allowed to. 

so the real me had to die

just so i could pretend to be someone im not.

it went on into my teens. 

id cut myself

not because i had any interest in t, i just saw how easy it wa to join the emo kids.

say you have depression, cut yourself, respect people with mental health issues, pretend to love Kellin Quinn, be bisexual and whatnot.

youre one of them

you dont even have to try when it comes to comforting them

use the same buzzwords “ stay strong “ “your skin isnt paper”  “youre beautiful” if course that doesnt work now

but age 13-15. thats the way every girl i spoke to online claled me their best friend. thank you so much for always being there every night i need you

and honestly

i do feel baf for acting like they dont deserve to be honoured in speech of them/

i really really am grateful, they allowed me to feel joy, they allowed me to know what its like to have friends, i shared some resemblance to them. 

im really grateful, they was there to talk to each night. even if it meant i had to convince myself i loved cats.

maybe they understand now

psychoses dont make somebody evil

neuroses shouldnt be the attractive mental health conditions which get all the sympathy

even aggressive people need empathy

they feel it too. 

by the way

obviously

this was trying to paint a picture of how it all started

at least the earliest memories i stil have anyway

i dont still rejoice in the thought of my family being torn apart

and i wouldnt call my sister stupid for being upset.

im glad we’re there for each other now

i wouldnt have it any pther way

and i wish them the best

and im really really really proud of everything my sisters have achieved and even moreso all of the things they continue to do. some of them even inspire me.

[producingnct-blog]

sometimes failure is better than success

jihoon/samuel fake dating au

requested by anon

honestly it all started in the weirdest way

jihoon had been friends for a few months when it happened

it wasn’t their fault that bae jinyoung was literally so pretty

they couldn’t keep their eyes off of him and so they bet on who would get to take him out first

(spoiler alert: none of them did)

jihoon and his group of friends, which consisted of samuel, euiwoong, seonho, gualin and hyungseob, were like the groups of friends that people see in the movies

they had lunch together everyday, they sat next to each other and they told one another everything

jihoon couldnt have asked for a better group of friends, really

but then again... he could

i mean, how was samuel considered a good friend if he insisted on crushing on the same guy as him????

jihoon didnt understand

for all everyone knew, jihoon had been crushing on jinyoung first!

he’d fallen in love as soon as they made eye contact (which in fact, did not happen bc jinyoung was always looking at the ground, but please. let jihoon be happy)

and jihoon had started talking about him to their friends just to be met with “i know right!!!”’s from samuel at everything he said

jihoon, the fucking gemini, had glared at him. “he’s mine, i saw him first.”

to which euiwoong had replied, after taking a bite of hyungseob’s sandwich. “hyung, you do realise he’s not food, right?”

maybe jihoon had ended up blushing a bit, but who was to blame him for that? he quickly shook his head, “thats not what i mean, woong. you know that.” then turned his head to samuel

“cmon sam, for real. i feel like this is my sappy romance story yk. you gotta let me have it.”

“but hyung, i like him too! look, im not gonna dislike him for you and neither will you. its bros before hoes, not bros before ros-”

gualin, at this, perked up “what even is this conversation that does not make any sense”

“yes it does, omg! bros equals friends, ros equals romance between bros ok lemme live jesus! but anyway, we aint gonna budge our asses for one anoter, we might as well fight for it. agaisnt each other”

“what??!???” “are you crazy???” “what the fuc- i mean what????”

jihoon looked terrified, but then he set up his tray a bit closer to him, smirking. “fine. whoever gets to take him out first, gets him. after losing you gotta give him up. and give me 20 bucks as well.”

“why are you saying its me whos gonna lose?? and why do i have to pay you??”

jihoon smiled mischiviously. “duh. because i want, obviously.”

and then it was set

they started playing games, trying to get jinyoung’s attention

samuel would write lyrics to songs he wanted to play to jinyoung

jihoon would daydream about coming up to jinyoung and telling him he wanted him to be his bae 

samuel would start laughing louder, so that he could call for jinyoung’s attention indirectly

jihoon would wear different neon laces everyday to be different and stand out in his crush’s eyes

and yet, jinyoung didnt care for either of them

“ugh, this is so hard jihoon hyung.”

“i know right? he hasn’t even looked in our way at least once”

“what is it that we’re doing wrong??”

“idk sam. maybe we should try to get his attention in another way?”

samuel stopped writing down the answer to his english homework of the day to look up at jihoon, who was wearing a frown on his face

“how so hyung?”

“well, we could try to make him jealous?”

“but how is that even going to work if he doesn’t notice either of us”

jihoon threw his pencil in the table, and rolling his eyes as he sighed

“i dont know okay???? i just want him to look at me and like me back, but he doesnt even know i exist”

“hey hyung... its okay, i get it remember? we’re the same. just... how do you think we can make him jealous then?”

jihoon smiled a bit at that, lifting his head from where he had laid it into his arms, “we could date someone”

“oh. who?”

“well. hyungseob and euiwoong are the only gays from our group of friends that are out, but they’re dating each other. so....”

“so....?”

“sooooo.... we could date each other!”

“WHAT oh my god no way”

jihoon pinched samuel’s arm, making the younger flinch away. “what do you mean no way, you punk! im damn handsome, smart, intelligent and funny! theres nothing not to like!”

“hyung.... get your head out of your ass and listen. i dont wanna date you omg. you literally are so.... annoying sometimes no offense. and you snore when you sleep!”

“omg sam shut the fuck up u idiot. firstly i am not annoying youre just not old enough to understand how real and amazing people like me function. secondly. bitch we aint gonna sleep together what the fuck is wrong with my snoring. you talk in your sleep!”

samuel shook his head. “this is seriously not gonna work hyung, what even went through your mind.”

“an idea, thats what. at least i try to come up with those and help ourselves!!!!!” jihoon sighed once again, throwing his hands up. “so are you in or what? we can give it a try right? for a week or two?”

“ugh. fine but if it doesnt work out im killing both you and myself.”

“wow.... thats sad”

“shut up and study”

it..... didnt work out

but also no one died

“ok. what is happening??” was the first thing that met them when they walked to their lunch table holding hands, gualin was currently staring at them both intensively

“listen. this is not weird i promise but we’re dating.”

“you’re what???????”

“dating, you dumbass.”

euiwoong fixed up his glasses, “when and why and how did this happen. am i in a alternative universe”

“ok what the fuck is so wrong with us loving each other” samuel tried not to gag at jihoon’s words, instead squeezing jihoon’s hand stronger

seonho stopped snacking on a chocolate bar “you have been crushing on jinyoung for weeks remember?”

hyungseob continued, “yeah and why wouldnt you tell us if you liked each other???”

at this jihoon started laughing, “im kidding jeez!!!” he then sat down and mentioned for them to sit closer

“we’re pretending-” “WHAT” “omg shut up gualin youre so loud. we’re pretending to date so that jinyoung will be jealous”

euiwoong sighed “im not even going to care this time around. you two are lost cases.”

hyungseob smiled as he pinched euiwoong’s cheek and jihoon fake vomited “ew. YOU are lost cases stop being so in love”

“you jealous hyung?” “omg shut up seonho”

“anyway woong. i am telling you that you should be more respectful to me. when im married to jinyoung, with kids that are twice your height and with more money than all your three next genarations, i wont remember you punk.”

“GOOD”

“OMG YOU FUCKING- I HATE YOU”

turns out fake dating samuel wasnt soooo bad

they hang out like they used to, the only difference was that they held hands a bit more

it still, however, didnt work for them as jinyoung never looked their way

therefore, ofc the obvious and only solution was for them to take their relationship to the next level and to kiss

they decided on a plan

jihoon would be walking to school and hed pass by jinyoung and smile at him casually, but then he’d fall

samuel would then see and help him up, ask if he was okay!! and then kiss his cheek

it was a good plan, really, it was a good plan BUT

fucking samuel didnt do shit! he stood there looking

which ended up in jinyoung looking up to see what had happened and walking towards jihoon to help him up

jihoon started blushing when jinyoung asked him if he was okay, and jihoon could only nod

at this samuel came closer to the two of them, glaring at jihoon but trying to cover it up with a smile “hey you okay baby?”

jihoon blushed at the pet name, how could samuel call him baby when he was talking with his crush. “im fine”

jinyoung then cleared his throar, “hm. im glad youre okay i should go. see you around i guess...”

“jihoon!!! my name is jihoon”

after jinyoung had left, samuel turned to jihoon “what the hell was that?”

“that do you mean??? you didnt even fucking try to help me. what was THAT???”

“i was... thinking. listen, why didnt you pretend??”

“fuck. because i was actually talking to him! and you had to ruin it all sam omg. cant you fucking let me win? youre such a sore loser.”

“what??? i was doing what you asked hyung! i was pretending.”

“whatever, im done. i dont want to pretend anymore. i got to talk with him alone, not by pretending.”

“what??? but how come you want to pretend and then you dont?!?!?”

“jeez sam dont make it that deep. we played a game, the game is over now. thats it, im gonna keep trying to get jinyoung and so will you”

“but hyung. i thought we were on this together?”

“hm no??? sam, we’re agaisnt each other”

samuel shook his head, rubbing his hands agaisnt each other, “fine.”

“fine!”

when samuel didnt answer, jihoon sighed “goodbye”

“where are you going??? it’s the middle of the day?”

“mind your business”

they didnt talk for two days, damn that gemini stuborn ass

samuel ended up reaching out to jihoon and apologising for overreacting, to which jihoon agreed and also apologised for doing the same

they sorted things out and promised to not let this jinyoung matter ruin their friendship 

everything was really great until jihoon started talking more with jinyoung

jihoon would cross ways with his crush and he’d actually hold his head up long enough to shoot him a smile

they’d say hi to each other if they saw one another

sometimes jihoon would even sit next to jinyoung for a few moments when he was alone

and jihoon was loving it until he noticed that samuel was growing sadder by the days

he was quieting down and focusing more on studying

and he was always avoiding him

jihoon could for the love of god understand why 

and he couldnt not talk about it, so he did ofc

him and samuel talked about it although the younger avoided saying the reason

jihoon let him be for a few more days but once the week mark passed, he got really worried

he thought that maybe it was because samuel was jealous that he’d lost and jihoon even went to the point of talking to him about giving up jinyoung just to let samuel be happy-

when he noticed exactly that. since when did samuel’s happiness become soooo important? sure it was always important, they were friends

but jihoon cared to the point of giving up on his crush just to see samuel happy???? that was new

jihoon then started thinking more about that and even talked to euiwoong about it, who told him that he was thinking of it as something more complex than it really was and that he should just talk with samuel

at first, jihoon didnt get it. but as he started missing his best friend more and more (since when did samuel become his best friend that he missed more than the others???)

he realised something had changed and he decided he really needed to talk with samuel about it

“hey”

“oh. hey hyung” samuel went to leave the bathroom

its not live jihoon purposefully stalked him there just to prove to himself that the younger was in fact avoiding him

“hey wait. we need to talk sam”

samuel shook his head quickly, “we dont. for real i swear im okay”

“i dont believe you. just talk with me please, for a second”

“fine hyung. here?”

“hm.... no, lets go to the seats okay?”

“okay hyung.”

they sat down in the outside of the school, close to each other but not too much

jihoon cleared his throat “ok so, ive been thinking. and listen. i really miss you sam. like ive been talking more and more with jinyoung but less and less with you and i miss you like crazy-”

“oh.”

“yeah. i.... dont know sam. i really miss you, what happened? we were fine but you started avoiding me. is it because i talk with jinyoung more than you? i...i. i could let you meet him. talk for real with him.”

“no, hyung. its not that.”

“really? then what? bc i swear sam, i’d give him up for you to be happy, for real.”

“really hyung? you’d. you’d do that? for m-me? seriously?”

“yeah. of course. is it really not because of that?”

“well. i guess technically it is. but hm. just hear me out and please dont hate me okay?”

jihoon nodded “of course not.”

i dont how or why but ive been feeling different... towards you. i was jealous yes, but then i realised i was jealous not because of jinyoung but because of you... hyung. i wanted to be him. i wanted you to be crushing on me and i know youre not and i know you wont. and im happy for you to be talking with him but. im sorry i just dont feel ready to be your friend right now.”

“oh hm. wow i didnt realise you felt that way. i.”

samuel shook his head, “part of me was hoping youd confess like in the movies yk? im... god im so stupid.”

“hey, dont say that. youre not. im too perfect, you cant resist me i get it-”

“not now hyung, please.” and the way samuel’s voice sounded so broken. it left jihoon speechless and at the same time wanting to scream out everything at the world.

“sam. im sorry i really am i didnt know you felt that way. i...”

“its okay hyung. i myself only realised when i talked with woong-”

“wait you talked with him too?”

“what? you talked with him?”

“yeah i asked for his help-”

“about what?”

“ohh. hm. oh. i.”

jihoon completely spaced out and he felt like he was in a movie. he felt like a character that just understood everything at once, like a stupid girl that didnt realise she liked her best friend over her crush. like a fool

“i wow sam.”

“what hyung? are you okay??????”

“jesus christ im dumb”

“i know. tell me something new.”

“bitch shut up listen i.... like you too omg- i cant believe it but i do.”

“what?? you just daydreamed for two minutes straight and now youre back and u like me??? dont play me like that. i thought you were better than this-”

“omg sam shut up let me talk. i talked to woong because i needed help reaching out to you. i was so worried! i even told you that i’d give jinyoung up for you and you talking with woong just reminded me of what he said... and its true. i was making it out to be too complicated when in fact its so simple. i like you, plain and easy.”

“are you sure??????”

“yeah sam. i am, i really am. i feel like i have a bulb over my head.”

“you might as well, what you just said was more moving and inovational than the creation of ipads.”

“damn im blessed to have such a nice boyfriend that compliments me so much! i mean, wait no.”

they both blushed, the losers.

“so.... boyfriend huh?”

“what the fuck gualin since when were you there????”

they ended up discovering a week later, as they held hands under the lunch table, giggling and blushing over the touch, that jinyoung had been dating daewhi for months.

[comicteaparty]

March 7th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on March 7th, 2019, from 5PM - 7PM PST.  The chat focused on 2 for Joy by Abi Watson.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing 2 for Joy by Abi Watson~! (https://tapas.io/series/2-for-joy)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

i think at the moment that my fave scene is when art goes to the library. cause before the comic possibly toed the line about whether everything was conspiracy or coincidence. and thats the scene that says "nope conspiracy." i just also found it to be this really tense scene cause of the librarians talking about art like he was some super threat. which brave to making an activity like visiting library archives seem test. overall though, the part i like best is that it still leaves the question of what the one librarian guarding the archives wouldve done had art's rouse come to light

Superjustinbros

Ello~!

I have returned

RebelVampire

hey super~!

mathtans

I'm... kinda here for now. I did like the library scene, the librarian conspiracy was interesting.

Superjustinbros

https://tapas.io/episode/1159441

mathtans

I liked the cast moment there too, for the amusement value.

(Which arm was it? Whoa hoa...)

RebelVampire

yeah the cast moment was great, partly cause i was no expecting this random moment of humor to roll up

mathtans

As to my fave scene though, I think interestingly I'll need to go with the nametag thing. Because it was just kind of funny at the time, but had some significance later, with the gender change thing, and the not wanting to get him a new tag. Also explains (kind of) why he wears it upside-down.

Superjustinbros

It also gave me flashbacks to when I broke some fingers on one of my hands and had to go into a cast for about a month

back in middle school

mathtans

Ouch. I've never actually needed a cast for anything.

Also, maybe Tec is just waiting for the cast to heal before the fight, humm.

Superjustinbros

Yeah it was not pleasant. I'd go into detail about it more but this is a CTP

RebelVampire

yeah i really liked that on the side the nametag was made to be more relevant. it wasnt just some quirky character thing. which i mean the latter wouldve been fine, but i just like the element that these are characters who have been living their lives without art and the town didnt suddenly exist again just cause art showed up

https://tapas.io/episode/1121842 less a scene but i also really enjoy this page because of all the character reactions. like you got the whole circus of emotions going on and it conveys so much without needing any sort of dialogue

Superjustinbros

https://tapas.io/episode/1128546 and this one two pages later

mathtans

Also weird how Jack's name has dual significance.

Superjustinbros

"it means that makes a liar"

mathtans

I see what you mean there. (I'm not always good at picking up on artistic choices.)

RebelVampire

yeah. although that has gotta kind of suck. i mean i wouldnt want to find out a person i was named after was actually dead and i was just never told XD

Superjustinbros

https://tapas.io/episode/1296840 The latest bit also sparked my interests

RebelVampire

tbh, mike is probably just dumb/evil and not a liar. cause i severely raised an eyebrow to anyone who thinks they can cull birds from an area and theyll just never ever come back even for a short period of time

i really love art's dumb conspiracy journal

i am jealous and want one

Superjustinbros

yus

RebelVampire

but also someone needs to teach jack journalism does not actually involve journals XD

mathtans

Yeah, I don't think Mike's really got it out for anyone though. Maybe he's related to the librarians.

Art draws pretty well. He makes... art.

RebelVampire

an unfortunate nickname well suited to puns

Superjustinbros

"What did you name your son?" "Art"

"Is that really his name?" "No it's just a nickname he likes."

RebelVampire

but i really like how the journal shows art's thought processes and everything. like its a great way to build character without art smacking you with dialogue to put you in his head

Superjustinbros

lol

I never actually thought of that- to give a character a journal

and just have them jot down in it every once in a while

and show you what they write/doodle

mathtans

That's a good point. A little window into his view of the plot.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 2. One of the central features of the story is the vast conspiracy that seems to haunt Art’s hometown. Are the birds truly leading Art somewhere, or are they really just a coincidence? If the former, where are they leading Art to? Why were all the magpies culled and what does this have to do with murders and supposed cults? What was the one librarian scared of Art finding in the archives? Why is the other librarian willing to help Art? What does all this have to do with the forest and the various people who have gone missing in it? How do you think everything connects in general?

I think the birds are leading Art somewhere but im skeptical theyre actually birds. Cause conveniently nobody but Art sees them UNTIL Alice and Jack get involved. And then suddenly cause theyre part of the plot they can see them. So I kind of wonder if they arent birds but supernatural entities that look like birds

mathtans

I feel like that title "2 for joy" has something to it; I've never heard of the saying (rhyme?) before about the magpies, but there was a reference made. So turning it around, you need to have two people or the birds will get you.

Ohh, that's an interesting theory. I like it.

Maybe the missing people got turned into birds.

Superjustinbros

and then the birds haunt more people

and turn them into birds

it's how they spread

RebelVampire

thats an interesting idea. or more optimistically the birds are trying to lead art to a cure

mathtans

A cure for what though? He's not sick.

RebelVampire

actually if this was true itd explain why jack kind of got dragged in

one of those birds is his uncle

mathtans

Or a cure for the thing that turns the eyes white?

RebelVampire

i meant a cure for them

to be not birds

mathtans

Ohh, now I'm with you.

The librarians also used to be birds. That's why they're in on the conspiracy, they don't want to have to be birds again.

RebelVampire

the family secrets that cant be told are that art was patient 0 and really a ghost bird all along

on a more serious guess, maybe theyre leading art to ground zero though. like assuming there is supernatural stuff at work, when things like whats going on in the town happen, theres usually like an origin point. like a pentagram in the woods though probably not that.

mathtans

That's why they saved his life!

Superjustinbros

Good thinking.

mathtans

Maybe, could be something silver, what with the bird connection.

RebelVampire

arent magpies the ones who like shiny stuff?

mathtans

I think so? I don't know much about birds.

RebelVampire

google tells me yes but that this is a myth

and that scientifically them stealing the shiny things is not backed up by dedicated observation and testing

https://tenor.com/view/themoreyouknow-star-rainbowstreak-nbc-gif-4884642

which now leaves me torn cause i was gonna guess that theyre just leading art to their silver pile of treasure

mathtans

As Jack said, the true treasure was the friends they made along the way.

RebelVampire

ya know, given the title, that is probably all that matters

that through their quest theyre going to find joy

mathtans

And Joy will be the wife of that guy who was blamed for all the murders?

(Seriously though, it's interesting how deep the rabbit hole seems to go.)

Actually, now that I think of it, there was an X-Files reference too. Possibly just in the author's notes though.

RebelVampire

ya know

i would not be surprised if the wife's name did turn out to be joy

although id also find that kind of funny

mathtans

(off to crib)

RebelVampire

aside from birds though, im turning my attention to the archives. cause from the convo i gathered that besides other things, there were things with births and deaths art wasnt supposed to find? and given the one extra side page, i really wonder if it has to do with art's birth since hes adopted

(good luck)

RebelVampire

but maybe i misread the conversation. i mean maybe theyre just trying to cover up exactly how many people have gone missing in the forest. cause its too shameful or a high risk for crashing that small town tourism cash cow

or theyre trying to cover up the fact that the cult is still sort of active and something in the archives proves how deep the cult runs

mathtans

(back-ish) Yeah, I noticed the adoption thing and wondered briefly about it.

You think maybe the "murders" were just lots of missing people?

Superjustinbros

Yeah I wouldn't want that getting out inot the public

mathtans

A birb cult.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. In the recent pages, Jack and Art have decided they need to go into the forest and look around. What do you think will happen to the two while in the forest? Will they see more birds? Will the silver compass come into play? Do you think the two will be in danger considering the possessions that seem to have occurred to certain individuals? In regards to the conspiracy, what answers do you think the two might find directly in the forest? Lastly, do you think going into the forest will have other consequences? What if members of the town find out about their little expedition? What about Alice?

and it could be. that there are less murders than we think and everyone is just missing.

i do think the adoption thing is significant

Superjustinbros

more birds definitely

RebelVampire

i think what will happen in the forest is theyll get jumpscared a lot but then learn nothing. outside of the forest is spooky af. although i also think theyre gonna find something they dont think is significant until later and theyre like "le gasp signs of the missing ppl"

Superjustinbros

"forests are spooky"

the moral of the story

mathtans

(back-ish again) I wonder if going into the woods will cause a replay of the Hec stuff. Like Jack will have his eyes go white and try to beat up Art and then won't remember about it. Could put their relationship on the rocks a bit.

Or jumpscares with birds.

RebelVampire

tbh i actually assume if that were to happen alice would be the more likely possession target

like shell show up

scold

suddenly rolled back eyes

beat art up

mathtans

Ooooh. That'd definitely shake up the character dynamics. I wonder if the birds tried to talk to her first, but she didn't listen? Since she also left town for a while.

RebelVampire

maybe. although now im wondering how she and art both happen to coincientally be back in town. like we know kind of why art is there. but alice too seems a huge coincidence in a story where coincidences are actually conspiracies

mathtans

Hmmmm. Maybe she's not really there? Has anyone other than Art and Jack mentioned actually seeing Alice?

Maybe she's Jack's guardian angel or something in disguise.

RebelVampire

im trying

to recall a moment

i mean shes gone half the time and not able to interact with outside ppl

there was the one scene where theyre all eating together

but i dont remember if any outside person approached them

mathtans

Did Mike comment on her though? Because she only turned up when Art admitted to Jack that he was waiting for her.

(Is she a bird? Man, I can't tell if my conspiracy theories are totally crazy or not.)

RebelVampire

the only reference mike makes is later on when hes scolding jack and ask if its going to become another summer where he ignores customers to gossip with his "little friends"

so specifically plural

BUT

the context does not imply that there has to be multiple

more like the implication that more friends could show up even tho just the one is there

so it could go either or

mathtans

Indeeeed.

Oh, wait! The guy in the compass shop. He saw her, in the hat.

Mustache man... maybe he's in on it?

RebelVampire

darn it compass guy

mathtans

(Nice subtle detail in that scene by the way, him not recognizing Jack after the transition.)

RebelVampire

ruining our good alice isnt there theory

mathtans

Heh.

Alice and Art do prove that you can leave the town without just vanishing then.

RebelVampire

yes. until the town pulls you back

by crashing your car

i think jack and art going into the forest is going to attract unwanted town attention

i can hear that one librarian now going "i told you he was up to something!"

mathtans

They went swimming without incident though. As long as they play it off as camping or whatever, who would care.

RebelVampire

suspicious librarians

thats who would care

"They just went swimming who goes swimming that much they must be suspicious!"

mathtans

I wonder what the librarians do in their off hours.

Superjustinbros

sme tbh

RebelVampire

QUESTION 4. Among the conspiracies are a lot of emotional conflicts and changing relationships. Do you think Art and Jack’s flirting will go anywhere? Whether it does or not, how might their investigations and the revealing of certain secrets affect how they view each other? How might it change Art’s relationship with Alice given Alice is reluctant to buy into the conspiracies as much as Art or Jack? Also, how will learning more help or hurt Art’s ability to deal with Hec? Do you think Hec is in on the conspiracy or is Jack right and Hec just wants to fight? Lastly, why do you think Art was the one targeted by the birds, and how does Jack play into the ultimate roles that the supernatural events seem to have intended for them? How might Jack’s missing uncle come into play and change how Jack deals with the situation?

the nice librarian goes home and reads books. the mean one is obviously part of HOA and the neighborhood watch

mathtans

Related to the relationship stuff, it's nice how the gay angle was put in as a sidebar, just a statement of fact. I wonder a little bit if younger Art had a thing for Hec, which is partly why he sees the best in the guy.

Related to the bird stuff, the second appearance of the birds related to a baby. Not sure how that fits in.

Superjustinbros

i was surprised to see the gay comment, I'll admit

did Art drop that fact earlier on in the story?

mathtans

Yeah, when it was the four birds for Jack I think.

RebelVampire

yeah its pretty super early on

like not first page

but very early

Superjustinbros

aye

mathtans

Like maybe birth as the opposite of death? :/

RebelVampire

i worried it meant the baby was gonna die tbh XD

mathtans

Oooh, super serious.

RebelVampire

mostly cause so far the birds have an omen sort of tone and omens arent good

and they caused art to crash his car

soooo

Superjustinbros

and put him in a cast?

mathtans

But he was going to crash anyway, right?

RebelVampire

maybe? i mean art says the birds saved his life or something but that doesnt mean thats the objective fact of what happened

mathtans

Art and Jack seem destined to get together though, after the bit with Hec in the alley.

True. Wishful thinking?

RebelVampire

i do think in this case maybe

at the very least i dont think alice and jack are wrong in thinking some of this bird thing is about art kind of not coping with what happened

cause i def dont think art is dealing with it and that even though something is going on, hes also using it as a distraction

cause both can be true

maybe this comic is just the labyrinth and the birds are gonna spirit the baby away to turn it into a troll

mathtans

The baby is really Art. It's all time travel. He takes the baby back and gets himself adopted.

RebelVampire

so does that make the librarians the time police?

Superjustinbros

...That would be a pretty epic twist(edited)

mathtans

One of them is a grown up Jughead.

As to why Art was targeted, maybe Art has unfinished business in town.

RebelVampire

well id say hec is unfinished business. although maybe thats why. that art encountered the supernatural and lived to tell the tale and didnt disappear in the forest

so that proves he has magical supernatural immunity

mathtans

Oh, immunity, that's an interesting idea. Maybe it's because he was adopted and didn't grow up in town or something?

Maybe everyone has silver poisoning.

Superjustinbros

Oooooooooo

mathtans

Can that make your eyes go white?

RebelVampire

art is just the chosen one

idk

lets see

mathtans

I hope the Art and Jack thing works out. Art needs some grins in his life, and I gather the transition wasn't easy for Jack either.

RebelVampire

“Silver poisoning, medically termed argyria, causes ashen gray discoloration of the skin (and other tissues of the body).”

thats what the first result tells me

i think itll work out just cause its called 2 for joy and theyre the ones in all the banners

and they do seem to be mutually attracted to each other. although i do wonder if they solve the conspiracy if that will remain

mathtans

That's true... maybe the two of them will adopt a baby, whence the "2 for joy" relates to the birds too?

I suppose the specific species of bird is related too, but I don't know from specifics.

The real conspiracy, of course, is how that diner manages to have the best pancakes in town.

Superjustinbros

That'd be cute, just sayin

(or a young child)

RebelVampire

i liked the bit where jack was criticizing alice for making up ppl

but then art joins in

with an even more ridiculous chain

mathtans

Yeah, that helps to show the sibling angle too.

Superjustinbros

I guess since there's only a few minutes left, I'd like to take the time to say good luck to abi on getting this story worked on, it's looking great so far.

mathtans

Yeah, the characters are interesting along with the plot, like I don't think I've ever seen this sort of mix before.

Superjustinbros

Well said.

mathtans

Hope they bring pancakes into the woods to appease the birds.

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Abi Watson, as well, for making 2 for Joy. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Abi Watson’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: https://tapas.io/series/2-for-joy

Abi Watson’s Redbubble Shop: https://www.redbubble.com/people/abiwatson

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Abi Watson’s Gumroad Shop: https://gumroad.com/abiwatson

Abi Watson’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/abiwatsonart?lang=en

[idobadshit]

The love story that made me realize my true value

People who claim to love you would never call you a regret nor a trap. They wouldnt make you feel like you are unnecessary, especially if all you did was love them. I honestly made alot of bad decisions in my last relationship, everything from cheating to recieving nudes from other females. Maybe it was because I didnt see the purpose of staying loyal to someone who ignored me so much in the past and only decided to talk to me when she was in a differnt country. Maybe it was because I wanted revenge on my ex. Maybe I did all of that because I wasnt thinking striaght or seen the value of my relationship. Infact I was the one who insisted being together, idk why I even insisted that if I didn’t even stay loyal. Whatever the reason is, there is no excuse for cheating and being disloyal. After a couple of months, I truly started to realize the value of my relationship, she started doing things my ex never did she started claiming me she started putting up pictures of me. I felt so guilty so hurt because she truly loved me and all I did was hurt her. I cant use the excuse that she wasnt in the country, I cant even victimize myself. It truly was my fault, I was crushed. So crushed i felt I didnt even deserve to live because of what I did to her, i tried to overdose on pills but my sister stopped me. I vowed to myself that I will never do something like that again. She left me and It was a couple of months, during the days I would work and during the nights I will cry. I started developing dark circles around my eyes. I took drugs at a point to numb the pain and I realized its not necessary. So I faced my pain alone and sober, the pain I caused on myself and on her. I asked her to forgive me she said she will. My heart was at rest but I still loved her so I started to treat her how she deserved to be treated. I started giving her the love she truly deserved but the sad truth is, she didnt want my love anymore. She regretted me, she didnt forgive me. So we broke off for a couple of weeks until I started talking to her again. I begged my self back into her life just so I can love her just so I can finally be with that same person who showed me so much love before. I didn’t do it for the phone sex I didnt do it for any benefits. Im not desperate, I couldve hooked up but I lost my taste in hooking up, I only wanted what she offered me before. We talked but it was obvious that she didnt want to offer me that same love. I still stayed with her telling myself I deserve this for my actions. I still stayed because I wanted to fight for our love, I wanted to fight for what we had before because it made me the happiest man on earth. I know, I know I have this bad habit of not giving up on someone I love. Then one day she said Im a regret, I was so hurt because she told me how much she loved me, she wrote me a huge letter explaining her love for me. Yet the next day, she said she felt trapped with me, her words were so contradicting because one time she loved me another time she didn’t. All i was able to think about was how much I was hurting her because I was being a burden to her. I really thought to myself, that if she loved me am I really a burden? She then had issues doing what she did for me before. That is when I realized that she didnt love me or value me as before. So many thoughts and doubts went into my head like “what if she found someone else” “she doesnt love you anymore she just feels bad for you” I even started meditating, i started reading books. I was fucking hurt but I still didnt give up, she use to asks me if i was good and I lied because I knew if i mentioned it all I was gonna get was bad hurtful words. I was gonna get the hurtful truth. I was gonna realize that no matter what I did I will never be good enough to recieve that same value back. This was all because of me and my disloyal actions. I started realizing even my words didnt have a effect on her, she even said she dont give a fuck about what I think. She just didnt give a fuck about me anymore but I can’t blame her, after all I cheated on her a year ago and no matter how much I changed it will never bring her love back for me because I am not as valuable as I was to her before. She acknowledged my change but stopped acknowledging my value. Day by day I started feeling hurt more and more because I would feel like a heavier burden as the days passed, I would feel like a disgusting peice of shit that didnt deserve love. On the day she called me a regret I was showing noting but good vibes, she was enraged because I told her she sent me a picture after 2 months. I didnt have any bad intentions behind it, but I guess I deserved it because of what I did in the past. I was feeling really bad and then my friend hmu she wanted to hang out and vent. She was talking about her bf. It was torrie, me and jaliel. In stoney brook talking about our problems. Plus I owed her a visit I was proud of her for making such a huge comeback from bad grades her ex caused her. I made tea with cinnamon and honey and lemon for all 3 of us, jaliel was upset about his pimples because hes so self conscious about it, he also felt bad because his girl was ignoring him. Then it was my turn they both looked at me, I was left to explain my feelings. I was drinking with shovan and shiekh earlier on in the day but i was already almost sobered up. The liqour made it easy to vent I explained my struggle I explained my pain. I explained what I did, I explained everything. Jaliel started laughing because I was upset over a girl I met once that lives in Bangladesh. Torrie on the other hand knew this really bothered me. She explains that I am definitely not the victim in this situation but at the same time it wasn’t healthy for me to feel so worthless. She explained and reassured me how much I changed, how productive I had become, how much love i had to offer, how respectful i became, (she hated me for cheating) she told me that I deserve what I become, I deserve the same love I give to other people and if I am not getting it then theres no point of it. It was getting late, so I left after a cyph, torrie didnt smoke but jaliel did and so did his boy. After we smoked jaliel’s boy dropped me home. I felt powerful, i felt strong, I felt genuinely happy for the first time in my life because I had this new found love for myself. That same night I was told I was a regret, the following day I was told I trapped her just like her parents did. You know, i never really take her hurtful words to the heart because she does have anger issues but when she said that it hurt the most. I felt like something had to be done, and although her letter made me so happy that i was about to put it up and claim her, i realize that isnt what she wants and that I would become a bigger burden if i did that. The last day we talked, she let me comment on her pictures but she felt weak, she felt hurt because she was comming back to a guy that was disloyal to her and although realistically not many people knew I cheated, although i change for the better, she felt weak. She said she felt worse than revana (her old friend that started dating her ex) and it hurt me even more. Last thing she said was that she felt trapped that i trapped her like her parents did. Obviously I was fucking heartbroken hearing that and I tried to calm her down, with some meditation but she needed to talk to her friend. I let her go and even tried to reassure her that she is strong, forgiving, and loving but the pain I felt from being told that, the pain of feeling like a burden to someone you love… thats the worst. I told her to take a rest, because she had a long day, also because I was too hurt to even talk. I called my cousin and I cried I cried so much, he claimed that its only right we get some drinks. So we get drinks. I sent masuda a bunch of snaps of me looking happy because I didnt want to look like a sad fuck all the time. When I got home I realized that she blocked me. I refreshed the page. I stood there frozen filled with mixed emotions, sad because she just gave up on me again, that I was so easy to give up on, angry because I didnt even get a good bye, happy because finally fucking finally I didnt feel like a burden, I didnt feel like I was caging her. I dont hate her at all, I respect her decision and I am happy for her. I felt a whole weight off my shoulder. Now when I feel sad about her leaving I also remember how much of a burden I was to her, how worthless I felt trying and trying then being doubted and told I was obsessed with the effort and didnt really love her like that. I then feel happy because I know who I am now. I am not a victim, and I am no longer a cheater or oppressor. I am no longer a cage to her, i am no longer a burden. I am a great guy who changed for the better and I deserve to one day be loved and valued. I deserve to feel like a blessing and I hope she lives happy too. You know as teenagers we make the stupidest decisions but if we bounce back and become better, that is all that matters. Always realize you arent worthless, remember your value. I would like to thank you all for taking your time to read this. If you are ever in a situation like this please dont harm yourself, realize that people makes mistakes, realize you arent worthless and please stay loyal if you promise it.