#he wasn't gonna say his true feelings and the guilt would kill him to project his feelings for will onto el

[gayofthefae]

Let's do a major contrast I've somehow overlooked. Let's talk WILL'S confession versus Mike's.

Mike and El both express self doubt as prompting for Will and Mike to tell them their feelings to make them love themselves.

But Mike tells Will he feels like El doesn't need him. In response, Will tells him that he lights up the people around him and is their guiding light. In conclusion: he is needed. He says this after "of course she'll need you, she'll always need you" fails.

On the other hand, El tells Mike that she feels like an unlovable monster and he responds that she isn't unlovable and isn't a monster. Essentially, the same direct response that failed for Will (so it's a good thing she already got to self love before he got there).

Mike said he felt unlovable and Will described the definition of love in great detail with him as the subject and concluded by pointing out that what he just described was love. El said she felt unlovable and Mike said that he did love her. He didn't include a personal story - No. He didn't. He included a length of time.

Read that again

Mike absolutely did not tell a story of loving El. He dated his love for. He said 'I have loved you since that one time you looked sweet in that big t shirt'. That was a memory identifier. Even shippers know the shirt isn't what MADE him fall in love with her, it was just endearing.

Mike never told El a story. He did not use a SINGLE EXAMPLE.

Will's speech breakdown was:

You bring light [my life]. You brighten [my] days when [I'm] feeling sad. Being without you is a burden for [me] but having you back is such a joy - so much so that the idea of losing you is terrifying and can make [me] impulsive and avoidant. All that has a name. It's love

Mike's speech breakdown was:

I love you. You think that I don't but I do. I couldn't say it because I was scared but you're more important now. I do love you. I have for two years. Remember two years ago? I do. You're wonderful so please please don't die on me you're so important to me.

And when you see them next to each other like that. Mike's is just the bare bones of Will's...just without any deepening of it. He doesn't describe the emotions he experiences once. But he does go "your self doubt is wrong, compliment, personal story, I was scared, I love you", which is what he got from Will's. Whether he believes himself to be copying Will's words or copying El's, he's taking a speech he was as romantic and mimicking it.

We've seen the van scene a hundred times but Mike hasn't. Will said "you're the heart" and it gave him an idea. So he reapplied the details and quoted a long speech said to him 12 hours prior to the best of his ability of the top of his head.

Because people in real life don't remember monologues said to them like that. Mike probably remembers the most important phrases to him like "you're the heart" but besides that he remembers "you're wrong, personal story, compliment, I was scared, I love you - and when he said I felt really loved".

He's got an emotional memory and because of the recency a pretty clear memory of the speech's structure. He remembers the exact structure and he remembers that it worked, so he uses it. Will reminded him of a love confession that worked to cure self doubt so he uses it.

His confession isn't just plagiarism. It's his best regurgitation. But the only feeling behind it was the desperation for it to work, so it lacks everything it needs to because unlike Will, he doesn't know why he's saying each piece. He doesn't know the story is supposed to be an example of what loves feels like, he just knows there was a story and it worked on him so he thinks of a story and puts it in cliche romantic wording.

Mike's speech is Will's speech if you asked someone who didn't know the justification for any part of it to recite it back to you technically.

"Wrong, story, compliment, scared, love"

[stellocchia]

First, I love the headcanon of Killer having the locket all throughout his stay with Nightmare and then for a good while when he's with Color. Because I like that to be a representation of the cycle of abuse he's found himself in and unable to escape for the longest time (and just escaping Nightmare wasn't enough for him to heal, it was just the beginning).

Anyway. As for Chara, I think they affect every stage differently.

For Stage 1, they're a representation of guilt and fear. They loom over him, making sure he always remembers what he's done and why he can't stop now. Why he has to follow the rules.

I think Stage 1 definitely has conflicted feelings regarding Chara. He's scared of them and of what they made him into. But he also misses them. He misses how structured life under them was. He misses being needed so desperately. And he misses the praises. That's why mind Chara is partially a projection of guilt for him. Because he often feels guilty for having given that all up. For not having stuck around and seen their design through with them. Because what if things were eventually gonna turn around and become good? What if Chara only wanted the best for him and he killed them for it? (He's got a lot of work to do in therapy to get out of this mindset).

For Stage 2 mind Chara is a manifestation of everything they keep repressing. Their need to be needed. Their need for validation. Their need to be useful for someone, to be used by someone.

Stage 2 likes to pretend to be the fully logical one of the bunch. They don't have emotions to distract them after all, right? Well, mind Chara is an uncomfortable reminder that that's not true. That there is always gonna be a voice at the back of their head pushing them to ruin everything they touch. Pushing them to see Chara's design through. Pushing them to submit to whoever has power over them because there is nothing they crave more than to be a tool. (And I always like to headcanon that, at first, they try to push that dynamic on Color too. They insist that Color must want something from them. He must need something. He must need them. That's the only reason why people keep them around and they need to be kept. They need to be by someone's side).

For Stage 3, mind Chara is a projection of its paranoia. And I don't even think they're the only one it hallucinates. It undoubtedly starts seeing Nightmare too pretty soon after being kidnapped.

Stage 3 is pure instincts, and its instincts say it's in danger. Always. Chara is there and Nightmare is there and it needs to fight to protect itself. It needs to fight to survive.

I think with Stage 3 it would almost be more interesting to see who else it starts seeing. Like, imagine it starts seeing a mind version of Delta because his hostile relationship with Stage 2 bleeds into making him feel unsafe for Stage 3 (and imagine how Delta might react to discovering that. That would be horrifying to know once he understands the implications). Imagine it sees the Star Sanses because their forceful way of trying to help Killer in the past made him feel threatened. Because, as much as Killer may seek out relationships where he's left with little agency, he also despises them. Especially Stage 3. They're unsafe. Its mind sure is gonna get crowded soon.

For Stage 4, Chara is there intermittently. Chara is there any time it has no one else to turn to as its owner.

Chara was, after all, the one who created it. The one who gave it purpose. The one that wielded it first. So they're like a safety net of sorts. They're the one keeping it from feeling lost and directionless. And it doesn't really matter if that's the real Chara or just a hallucination, because regardless, Stage 4 is still following the player's design.

Also, this is the reason why just having Stage 4 go without an owner point blank is not gonna work. And I think that's a mistake Color and any eventual therapist makes at least once. And then they find out that, if they tell it it has no owners, it's only defense mechanism is to rely on Chara yet again. And that's not gonna end well for anyone involved. No, having an owner that slowly teaches it to have agency is a far better alternative with Stage 4. And even still, they gotta expect relapses from it. My guy was literally not built to be its own person

Im still thinking about Chara possibly having given killer the locket before and what that could mean especially across killers stages

would be interesting to hear how yall think the chara in killers head effects him and his life, especially when he’s trying to get better and especially in therapy if yall have any ideas.

[thelittlehansy]

Prince Hans daddy’s issues ( Part 1)

Prince Hans’s Analysis

Disney villain are very interesting and i always wonder what must be Hans disorder ?  🧐 i doesn't know if everything that i would say is true  but this is just so interesting trying to understand a fictional character why is he like that ? how he thinks in his minds ?🤓 ( i warn this is gonna be long ) 

1- Is prince Hans a Psychopath/Sociopath ?

The first thing we can say about Prince hans of the southern isles is that there is the common idea that he must be a sociopath or a psychopath because he try to killed people and used manipulation. but not everyone who try to killed people and used manipulation are psychopath or sociopath.

I understand how that idea can appeal for a disney villain at first myself i really wanted hans to be a sociopath. But i dont think 3 days in Hans's life because he used manipulation in order to have something he wanted since years can diagnosed him as a sociopath.

So i will say that based only on the movie we doesn't have enough information about the character and how he is in his everyday life. he is a stranger for us.

And well this is obvious when jennifer lee define hans as a sociopath that she doesn't mean the medical term but most the popular connotation of the word since she define also herself having a sociopath mind in the same interview. 

 if we take what disney give us about hans , a frozen heart, it reject the idea of Hans as a sociopath/psychopath. It is something that i had  already saw be discussed.

Symptoms :

 - lack of concern : He show concern for her mother and sister in law by how his father and brother treat them and saw a tragedy for arendelle when he learnt the king and the queen died.

- dont tolerate frustration : He is the last prince , he has always the last part of the cake , he is starving for love and affection. So since a kid he must have been very frustrated that could even explain how in frozen this is easy for him to stay calm even if there is always something that destroy his plans. Hans can easily  tolerate frustration.

- lack of guilt : we dont know if hans feel guilty for what he has done to anna and elsa at the end but that feeling is not unfamiliar for him. Basically his family remind him everyday how he should feel  ashamed  to be who he is.  He is weak  not powerful and don't deserve their attention.  His actions in Arendelle confirmed that Hans must think they are right. He is also blame to come late at his mother anniversary who is the only one who notice he wasn't there.

- disregard for laws and social norms : the movie show us that when he needed it hans has no problem acting in society. His dream is to be a king so he must have a lot of respect for social norms ?  The book show us how much obedient Hans actually is. His father ask him to come to his mother birthday he obey even if it means being bully by his brothers because he is afraid of his anger. he was going to go to the brotherhood of the southern isles and obey to his father if it wasn't for Lars’s idea. When lars told him about princess Elsa of arendelle his reaction is to laugh and say that his father will never allow him.  he seems to be obedient. His solution is not to run away but to obey even more to his Father in order to have his trust.

- incapacity to project in the future : We know that Hans plan to marry elsa and took years to prepare himself. So he can project himself in the future.

- lack of stress : being abused all his life must have stressed a lot hans. He is anxious to go to his mother birthday only for 5 minutes. He is anxious to go talk to his father.

- difficulty to bond : with his past i think they are high possibilities that he must have difficulties to bond with people. the only thing we know is that he has a normal relationship with his brother lars. 

- dont control emotions : he is in a control of his emotions. He to not let himself be drive by them. he don’t  like that his voice is shaking in his father's office , he repress his anger when the twins mock him. When he let anna die , this is the realization of his dream since he years  so i dont think it can be used as an example of let himself be drive by his emotions.

- used others for his own benefis : we know that one is positive both based only on the movie but also the book. He used both anna and his father and hide to them his real intentions.

- lack of remorse : we dont know anything if he had remorse after the end of the movie. But it can be mentioned that after having his authorization to go to arendelle he thought " what have i got myself into" which could indicate some remorse about his plan to go in arendelle.

- irresponsibility, impulsivity, and risk taking  : in arendelle when he is in charged he act responsible with the citizens in arendelle and well he wants to be king. again , he is described to be obedient. 

- blame others : this one we doesn't have information about it. Who he blame if he is in a bad situation.

-  there is also the fact that he is manipulative. but i think this is necessary to note that he used what his father told him. and he has superficial charm  on frozen but this is the first time he use it.

Maybe calling him a big opportunist with low self-esteem is more accurate to Prince Hans’s character ? 

[verobatto]

What I can reach...

Looking for happiness. (14x10 Nihilism spoiler)

Hello my dear! I rewatched properly the last episode, and it was full of meanings and symbolism, you all know how much I love that!

One of the things I saw was this "lying to myself" about what Dean really wanted and see as "reached happiness" but is just what "he allows himself to have as happiness."

Let's see why I say this...

Rocky's bar AKA DEAN'S EMOTIONAL PRISON

When I first saw the bar, I saw a content Dean, ruling his own bar. And he even said "This is my dream." To Pamela, which, it isn't, in my perspective, this was his prison, his emotional prison, so perfectly constructed to cheat him. And because is the only thing more near to happiness that Michael could get from Dean's desires, because as I said, HE CAN'T REACH THE REPRESSED FEELINGS AND DESIRES FROM DEAN.

Then... When I began to travel my gaze around the scenario, there were a lot of clues Hockey put there to show us this wasn't at all what Dean really wants.

First of all, there were TFW colors all over the place, and the cosmic cowboy, so talked around the fandom, and something that caught my attention was the bullfighter (el matador) behind Dean, it was a statue in RED (Dean's color for toxicity) and I thought immediately in AVOIDANCE, bc as you know... The bullfighter AVOIDS the bull, called "the beast".

This is a symbolism from Dean behavior towards problems and inner desires. He avoid "the beast" what he really wants, his own feelings, like the bullfighter does with the bull.

There were a heart on the table ... It said "DAPHNE LOVES FRED" part of Dean's innocence recalling Scooby Doo characters in love, and the innocent idea of love, as we saw in 14x06 when i analyzed Harper's room, the meta is here.

There's the pic, and the limes there are remembering us about color GREEN (Healing!Dean) his innocent heart.

There was this...

The bright legend "EL SOL" (the sun), as a meaning of happiness.

Another interesting thing happened... The apparition of this character...

And what she said was very interesting... She said Dean had been interested in sell the bar, and she brought the papers for him to sign. But Dean didn't want to, and she turned around and said the bar was kind of "dead", I mean... Without customers... This is a very very symbolic scene, bc if we think this bar is Dean's emotional prison, where he keeps his repressed feeling and desires, and where he plays avoiding reality, and now it doesn't have costumers, and he wanted to sell it... Is bc HE IS HEALING PREPARING HIMSELF TO BREAK FREE FROM THIS PRISON, BC THERE'S NO MORE COSTUMERS (there's no more reason to be there, to that bar existing anymore.) Even so, he said no... Bc Michael locked him again. And he is again in negation.

Pamela, a complex projection of Dean's desires.

I know the fandom is talking a lot about her, I must be sincere here, I don't read anything till I write my metas, so, maybe a lot was said already about this, I know the fandom believes Pamela was a blantant Castiel mirror, but for me, is not just that, is more complex and interesting that just Castiel mirror... Let me explain to you...

When I first saw her I knew my brain will have to work hard... Bc, she is a projection from Dean's subconscious. There's not thing more complicated that our brains, so this girl was so great written, each detail and each word she said had a meaning FOR DEAN, bc she is A PROJECTION OF MEMORIES, FEELINGS, AND DEFENSE MECHANISM coming from Dean.

Having that in mind, the deconstruction of the character begins with one question WHY PAMELA BARNS WAS RULING THE BAR WITH DEAN? Don't see what SHE IS, BUT WHAT SHE IS REPRESENTING.

She represents the first day Dean came back from Hell, a traumatic experience (TRAUMA). She was there, she saw Castiel's true form and her eyes were burnt, and then she was killed by demons for helping him and Sam (GUILT).

She is using that t-shirt: TO HELL AND BACK: this represents DEAN'S RAISING FROM PERDITION, RESCUED BY CASTIEL. (First encounter in the barn).

She is using a necklace with wings, Castiel mirror.

Ok so here she is representing MEMORIES, TRAUMA, GUILT, CASTIEL, FIRST ENCOUNTER, SALVATION.

Then we have this...

Watch the image, she is DEAN. She represents his fem side. She is flirts, she is his partner ruling the bar, and she behaves as him, and she even flirted with Castiel!

So, this image is yelling BISEXUALITY here.

But is interesting bc Dean is placed near the COSMIC COWBOY and Pam near to FOX RYE. And bc Dean called her his girlfriend and she said: "YOU DON'T WANT ME. YOU JUST LIKE TO FLIRT." And my head exploded... Is Pamela representing women here? All of Dean's possible woman interest? Yes she is. And she is saying those words! And that could be so related to HEALING!DEAN too, accepting his feelings for Castiel, knowing WHAT HE REALLY WANTS! But then Pamela goes and says: "YO WANT WHAT YOU CAN'T HAVE." Yes.. THAT'S IT MY FRIENDS! DEAN WANTS CAS AND HE THINKS HE CAN'T HAVE HIM BC HE THINKS CASTIEL DOESN'T' FEEL THE SAME FOR HIM!! All our romantic specs about this coming true by Yockey's hand!

So Pam, Is a representation of women, placed near to the FOX (representing lies) as a lie. Dean wanting women, hook up with random waitress, is a lie. And Pamela being there is a lie too, bc she is just a projection.

Parallel between Dean's bar and Dean's cave

I just wanted to point here an idea that came to my mind about the things we think would make us happy and the really things we know will make us happy.

The quote YOU WANT WHAT YOU CAN'T HAVE is a sad quote. Is not a capricious child asking for some candy, no... Is a 40 years old man trying to allow himself things that he can reach, possible things (rule a bar) to reach a little of happiness in his life. Knowing very well what he really want (Castiel) he allows himself to have things that he knows may be possible and he settles for it.

The same thing happened with Dean's Cave. Dean made that place to have time with Castiel, watching movies, drinking beer and playing pool.

He allowed himself that, bc he thinks that more was impossible, having another kind of thing with CAS (what he really wants) is impossible, so he settled for the Dean's cave and watch movies with Castiel.

How to break free from this emotional prison

And again I'm gonna sound like a witch reading the future here, but we'll... I have to say it...

One of my specs said that we will see TWO DEANS INSIDE DEAN'S HEAD. Ok... It happened.

And I said Sam will figure out how to reach Dean and save him, bc Mint Condition was a foreshadow of this episode.

And is interesting all the colors again, blue and yellow in Dean's legs (CAS and Sam are by his side).

And another thing... Where's the fox? Yeap, is gone, just the cosmic cowboy now (Castiel) no more random waitress. There's just one love interest in Dean's heart.

So here, with FAMILY LOVE and ROMANTIC LOVE, Dean could broke free from this prison.

And this...

Gif credit @mishacolins

Gif credit @ahoyspn

... was priceless... Family love/Romantic Love helping Dean to wake up. Castiel had the decoder ring, and Sammy the key (Mint Condition).

To conclude...

Dean is strong, but how much is he going to keep Michael locked up?? I'm so scared bc of this...

The good thing is... Dean could break free from his emotional prison... Would he be able to do the same in real life? Is time to keep healing... But we are almost there for self acceptance and love for himself. Let's see what happens!!!

Thanks x reading this large mess!

C-u!

Tagging @gneisscastiel @metafest @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @mrsaquaman187 @agusvedder @castiellover20 @lykanyouko @cheerstofandomfamily @evvvissticante

Buenos Aires January 18th 2018 05:00 PM