#he was so decent. the picture of him and mary linton when he was young absolutely destroyed me

[prettyboykatsuki]

i'm bombarding you with asks i'm so sorry but i have FEELINGS about this game—

i was so adamant about you helping the church folks in Saint Denis because the scene with Arthur and the sister would NEVER have happened if you didn't do the side quest! 😭 instead you get a small scene with Swanson which isn't nearly as impactful imo. literally the way he LOOKS and SOUNDS when he finally says out loud, "i'm afraid" fucking KILLS ME EVERY TIME.

he's so TIRED and EXHAUSTED and he knows Dutch is going to be his death but he loves Dutch and the gang and STILL tries to save him because he has nothing else and doesn't see his own skin as worth saving. but you know who he sees worth it?

John.

the same John he was (rightfully) giving grief to for abandoning the family that Arthur WISHES he still had. the same John who he would needle and bicker with, but in hindsight it resembles the needling from an older brother trying to keep the younger in check. and because he is who he is, it's so vividly clear that Arthur, despite everything, still loved John and still cared about him and his family SO much.

hell, Arthur loved everyone else in that gang more than himself. except for fucking Micah. but because he's so loyal to Dutch he would never do what he wants to do to Micah and played nice with him longer than he ever fucking deserved.

i just. i'm sick. i'm sick in the head. he gave EVERYTHING for the gang and tried to get those he loved safe, no matter what.

i love how you say that Arthur is too good for you. he'd never, ever believe you.

IM REALLY GLAD I DID THE QUESTS!! and i really enjoy how these little inconsequential meetings and quests impact arthurs journey as a character. like the sisters quest was simple and nothing too dire at all - but it has such a big impact on arthurs life. him saying in his journal that that conversation unburdened him after everything made me sooooo fucking weepy.

seeing arthur get more perpetually sick and seeing the cloud of death hang over him as the game progresses and him still doing everything he can to save dutch when he is well passed saving. dutch is an unforgiveable piece of shit and i do hatre him for what he did. it was truly truly truly so painful to see arthur continue to give to dutch. partially because he loved him and partially because he wasn't sure what else there is

i had a very long conversation about this w lamb but i really. i really love the relationship there is between john and arthur. i really love that they have a genuine sense of brotherhood between them and that the corruption in the van der linde gang stems so much from this corruption of the family structure. arthur sees john as his brother. like in a serious sense.

both the way he reprimands john and the way he looks out for him. the way he's willing to sacrifice everything and believes that his life will have at least meant something if john makes it out. i think arthur projects a lot onto john in a way that is only experience with older brothers. his hopes and wants and dreams. even his grief. he passes those things onto john and john, like younger brothers often do - take them on. he absorbs so many of arthurs mannerisms and tries hard to make good on what arthur wanted of him.

it was . so painful for me to hear that john heard arthurs voice in his head after everything. arthur loved that gang to pieces even when it didnt do him the courtesy of returning that love in the sligtest. oughhsdjs

YURI YOU SAYING THAT IS MAKING ME SO SICK. he is TOO good for me like so genuinely i dont think i could date a man so decent but you're right that he would never believe it and that makes me sick. arthur morgan you foolish and silly man