#he was lucky that by some miracle they were brought back (differently. including 'came back wrong')

[sovamurka]

Me: hahaha, Heroes of Envell ended on such a good note! All of our protagonists are so hopeful and on their way to heal!

Also me: and now they will live with the fact that they watched the world crash and burn for the rest of their lives! They will probably slowly go insane from all the memories that only they remember! And their horrifyingly real trauma will always be with them no matter what!

[corpsedaydream]

not such a merry christmas

corpse husband x reader

-

hi hi so it’s 4:20am lmao i’m not kidding

so i know i said i wasn’t going to be on over christmas but christmas wrapped up late for me and i wasn’t ready to sleep and i just started writing and this is what came of it. i know that christmas isn’t always exactly a happy time for everyone bc family and holidays can be complicated sometimes. so if ur struggling or experiencing anything negative or just not rly enjoying christmas. this ones for u friend and i’m sending love ur way

word count: 2085

_______________________________

You had mixed feelings about this time of year.

The holidays.

On one hand, it meant you had some free time to enjoy some quality time with your nearest and dearest. And on another hand, it meant that you would be potentially finding yourself in situations where you would be spending time with family members who you would maybe rather not spend time with.

When you were young, Christmas always felt so magical. Now you were older, Christmas felt more like an anxiety inducing chore.

You’d talked to Corpse about your family a many of times, because for the most part, you really did love your family so much. You felt lucky to have been born into the family you were - again, for the most part. There was one particular sibling who you wouldn’t include in those feelings. Unfortunately, toxic people existed and extra unfortunately, sometimes those people were related to you. After four months of being with Corpse, he thought he had come to learn all of who were apart of your family. But then you were reminiscing on a childhood memory and when sharing it with your boyfriend, he heard a name he hadn’t heard before. When he questioned you on it, he noticed the immediate change in you. The smile left your face and you went timid and very quickly, you shifted the conversation topic. You were acting in a way he had never seen you be like before, usually you were so open and talkative and here was a brother you had never mentioned and definitely didn’t want to talk about.

He didn’t push it any further that day, figuring you would tell him when you were ready. That time came in November, on the 25th.

You remembered it well, Corpse was going through his emails when he asked you, “Baby, what’s the date?”

“November twenty-fi-” You cut yourself off.

“What?”

You were silent for a moment, you didn’t realise that Christmas had snuck up this quickly. It was only a month away.

“Baby?”

“Sorry- um,” you glanced to him, giving him a meek smile before continuing,  “it’s November 25th.”

He noticed that shift in you again. “Are you okay?”

And on that day, you opened up to him. Told him about the terrible memories that haunted days that should have and could have been really happy days had it not been for a bullying, negative family member. How now, you seemed to dread Christmas because of this fact.

“Why don’t you just not go?” Corpse had questioned you, he said it as if it was the most clear outcome, but it wasn’t like for you. It was so much easier for him to say that then it was for you to do.

“I couldn’t do that to the rest of my family.”

“Why? You can see them on any other day?”

“It’s Christmas, I couldn’t not go.”

“It’s just the same as any other day if you think about it.” As much as he had cared and listened to you opening up to him, it was hard for him to understand you on this. You grew up in vastly different family dynamics.

“Not to my family, it’s important.”

The two of you continued to go back and forth for a little bit before you realised the stubbornness you both shared wasn’t going to allow you to take in the other’s perspective.

In fact, the two of you didn’t speak about it again until two days before Christmas Eve. You were spending the day together because you were planning on leaving that night to stay at your parents house until boxing day. And as your leaving time was drawing closer and closer, it was visibly clear to Corpse how anxious you were feeling about it.

-

“(Y/N),” he had called for you attention and you looked to him, “I really don’t want you to go.”

A soft smile was offered to him. “I’m going.”

“But I can fucking see how this is affecting you. You’re dreading it, please don’t go.”

You sighed before answering him. “I have to go.”

“No you don’t.”

“I do.”

“Why?”

“Please, Corpse, I don’t want to go over this again. I’m already feeling nervous about it.”

“Then stay with me for Christmas, you won’t have to feel nervous about anything, we can just be here having our own good time.”

You knew he was just trying to be there for you, but it seemed this was not something the two of you could find a common ground on. “It’s not that simple.”

-

But if only it had been that simple. If only you had listened to Corpse. Because you wouldn’t be where you were right now. Sitting in your car with tears running down your face. It was 5:05pm in the afternoon on Christmas Day and you’d made a dash out the front door while everyone else sat down to eat dinner. You had tried your best to stay strong, to ignore your toxic brother but when someone was constantly saying and doing things to try to bring you down, you’d broken. You wished you could pull it together, so you could go back inside for the people you wanted to be with, but you truly couldn’t take it any longer. You would call and apologise to your Mother tomorrow, you felt bad for leaving her the most.

You shouldn’t have been driving in the state you were in, tears kept blurring your vision and your mind was so distracted you knew you really weren’t paying enough attention. But by some miracle, you had made it to where you wanted to be. And in one piece and it wasn’t your own place. You were parked out the front of Corpse’s place and how you just longed to be in his arms right now.

Heavy feet carried you to his front door and before you could get the chance to knock, Corpse had already swung the door open.

“Thought I saw your car pull up- oh, fuck,” His tone was happy at first, surprised with happiness that you were there until he took notice of the state you were in. Your foundation was streaked by the thick and fast tears that had fallen down your cheeks. Your mascara and eyeliner tracked black lines, too. Your nose had the makeup removed from it and it was displaying red due to the amount of times you’d rubbed at it. And oddly enough, a Santa Hat was still sitting atop your head. Corpse had never seen a more gloomy Christmas Hat appearance. “Baby, c’mere.”

He wouldn’t hesitate to stretch out his arms to pull you in close and you so gladly accepted. When you were resting against him, his arms would be holding you so tight and yours clutching at his hoodie he was wearing, he’d kick his foot out to shut the front door once the two of you were inside. Small sobs were already leaving your body, but feeling the familiar and protective grip of Corpse really just made you break more. You were safe here, you were safe with him, you could get out any emotion you needed to, and so you did.

Sobs wracked your entire frame, it was loud, vocal and physical crying. Corpse had seen you cry before, but never like this. It was hurting him to see you so hurt. He was so concerned for you, he didn’t have to ask if you were okay, your display was making it clear you weren’t. When he could start to feel your feet starting to give out and your weight became heavier against him, and he not only heard but also felt you choking on your own cries and starting to really struggle to breathe, he felt the need to do more.

Gently, he’d bring you down to the floor with him. He’d sit with his back against the wall and grab your thighs to have you sit in his lap, your legs straddling him. He would pull you in tight enough so your chest and torso was completely against his, the two of you couldn’t be brought any closer if you tried.

“I need you to try taking some deep breaths for me.” He’d tell you right in your ear, needing you to hear him over your violent cries. And so you did, but each one was uneven and would catch in your throat and make you cough.

His hand would be rubbing big, deliberate, heavy circles into your back with a force to make its presence known, a tactic he hoped would calm you. He was caught off guard to see you like this, but after opening up to him about your toxic sibling and how anxious you had been to be around him again, he wasn’t exactly shocked. He was so concerned for you but a part of him was also furious that someone had treated you in such a terrible way to put you in this state. He now wished he had worked harder in getting you to stay with him, if you were with him, you were safe, he wouldn’t let harm - especially like this - come to you.

“I’m here.” Corpse would assure you with a longing kiss to the side of your head, rocking you back and forth.

And eventually, while sitting there, being cradled in his arms, your cries would quieten, your sobs wouldn’t make you shake so violently and your breathing would return to a more regular state.

“Feel better?” He’d ask you once you reached that more stable point and you’d nod your head from its place against his neck before doing a much needed yawn. “You’re tired?”

“Exhausted.” You’d confirm.

“Should we go lay down?” He was still holding you so strongly and securely but being so gentle with how he spoke to you.

“Yeah, I want to get some painkillers first, though, my head hurts.”

“Want to take off the Santa hat?”

“No.”

“What, why?” Your answer surprised him.

“I’ve had it on all day, I’ll have really bad hat hair.” You admitted and Corpse laughed and had you been in a better mood, you would have joined in on the laughter. But it did lift your spirits to even just simply hear him laugh.

“I’m sure it won’t be that bad.”

“It will be.”

Corpse laughed softly again and shook his head slightly and when he felt you relax against him again, he brought up his hand to quickly pull the hat from your head.

“Hey!” You lifted your head then and he was relieved to see no more build up of tears in your eyes anymore.

“You’ll feel better without it on.” He argued your protest, smiling a small smile and you couldn’t help but to mirror it, which made Corpse elated to see.

“Okay, but don’t you dare look at my hat hair.” You told him and because he knew your eyes were on his, he intentionally lifted his eyes to your hair. “Corpse!” You called his name with a laugh and he was so happy to hear you laugh instead of cry. “Stop it.” You spoke through more giggles and your hands came up to land on your head over your hair until Corpse grabbed your wrists and moved your hands out of the way. “Hey!” Squirming your arms to get your wrists out of his grasp. Once you freed them, you’d place your hands over his eyes.

“Baby, let me look at your beautiful hat hair.”

“No!” You both would laugh then and this time when your boyfriend took hold of your hands to move them off of his eyes, it would be soft and he’d lift them to bring back his vision and bring your hands down a little to place kisses into the palms on each of your hands.

“You know you don’t have to hide anything from me, right?” On the surface, it could’ve sounded like Corpse was talking about just the hat hair, but on a deeper level, he meant this so wholeheartedly, and you understood.

So you’d nod. “I know. Thank you.”

And Corpse knew that once again, when you were ready you’d tell him about what took place on that Christmas Day, but for right now, he didn’t need to know. All he needed to know is that now you were okay and you were safe and you were with him.

“I love you, (Y/N).”

“I love you, too.”

[houseof-harry]

Christmas Miracle | G.D.

A/N - anddddddd I’m back! Idk why, but I thought it was necessary for us to have a cheesy ass, Hallmark ass one shot that is filled with all the fluff and cuteness. So I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday moment and you enjoy the disgusting fluff I’m offering up

Word Count - 7.4k

Summary - Christmas in New York can be seen in one of two ways. It’s the most magical time of the year, snow falling, lights glimmering, joy rampant in the air. Or, the influx of tourists and people trying to sell you things ruins the entire month of December. Y/n tends to lean towards the latter. That is, until she get’s her Christmas miracle.

***

Your friends were lucky you loved them.

When they had first brought up the idea of you showing them around New York City during one of the most popular times of the year for tourism, you shut them down immediately. The holidays were difficult enough without leading around a group of lost puppies who would be acting like they had never seen Christmas lights before.

But they were convincing people, and were quick to offer you the many ways in which they could brighten your few weeks at home and possibly even change your view of the last few weeks of the year.

So, as you balanced finals and all of your other responsibilities as the semester came to an end, you and your friends planned out a trip through NYC that could honestly make a pretty decent Hallmark movie. They even convinced you to spend New Years in Time Square, despite your continued protest. You never saw the appeal of being packed into small gated areas for hours with a bunch of strangers to watch a ball drop, but they claimed that it was necessary to get the full experience. You also bargained that you would get to pick where spring break was if you went through with all of their plans.

You never liked feeling like Scrooge, but the holidays never brought positive memories back for you. Everything felt somewhat fraudulent to you. Fake smiles, meaningless gifts, ignoring the happenings of the rest of the year to act as though family was more important than anything, everyone suddenly devout Christians. You were a big advocate of always being true to who you are, and how you feel, year round. Not just when it is socially expected to do so in some performative, public way that puts up the facade that your life couldn’t be better.

You hoped your friends were right, that they could change the way you felt about the holidays. That maybe it would somehow feel more genuine with them.

So far, they've had some almost successful attempts. You indulged in gingerbread cookies, wore your fluffy winter jacket as you walked around with them to shop for your secret santa. You could even feel a bit of excitement as you picked out the perfect gift for Gia. She’d always say how much she loved leather watches, that she hoped to be able to afford one after graduation to wear to her first job. The smooth brown band you picked out earlier in Saks sat safely in your bag as you led everyone to one of the main attractions of their visit.

Soon enough, the massive, lit up tree came into view.

“Welcome to Rockefeller Center,” you announce as you turn to face everyone, hands held out as you watch them marvel at the scene in front of them, a scene they’ve only seen through screens.

“Wow,” Colin mutters under his breath. You swear you can see the lights from behind you twinkling in their eyes, and you can understand better why they wanted to come on this trip. Maybe you had become a bit numb to the Christmas happenings of the city after so many years of being around it. The obvious wonder on everyone’s faces made you wish you could see the tree for the first time all over again.

You turn to walk forward, afraid of bumping into the swarms of people that stand between you and the tree. As you do so, you feel Gia’s arm wrap around your shoulder to fall in step next to you.

“I knew we’d be able to get a smile on your face,” she teases as her free hand comes to your face to squeeze your cheeks.

You chuckle, wrapping your arm around her waist to keep her close as you squeeze your way through the crowd to get closer to the tree. “Just because I hate the holidays, doesn’t mean I don’t like seeing you guys happy. Even if it’s for a stupid tree.”

“It’s not stupid and you know it.”

You let out a dramatic sigh, your rebuttal interrupted when you hear a squeal from behind you.

“We need a family picture in front of it!”

You turn around at Jo’s request to see her already getting her camera out from under her jacket.

“Here, I’ll take some,” you offer, holding your hand out.

“But then you won’t be in it,” she pouts.

“I have so many pictures of myself in front of this tree, I don’t need any more.”

She huffs, but knows you’re too stubborn to change your mind. She turns back to your group, who now stand in front of you, positioning everyone next to each other.

You bring the camera up to your face, making sure to get everyone in the frame, along with the tree. You start taking pictures of your friends, and you can’t stop the smile that spread across your face as you watch them genuinely enjoy the moment.

“I can take pictures of all of you if you want,” a gruff voice comes from your left, and your attention goes from the camera to the person standing close to you now.

Your eyes have to drag up from the man’s chest, him having a significant height advantage over you. He has a five o’clock shadow that covers his chin, a sharp jawline underneath. His smile shows off his white teeth, that same smile causing the corners of his eyes to wrinkle. Those same warm eyes are looking at you still, waiting for a response.

“Uh, I don’t-”

“Yes!” Jo responds for you, swinging her hand at the two of you standing there.

He holds his hands out, and you carefully place the expensive camera in his hands.

“Don’t drop it.”

He nods at your command as he inspects the buttons.

“Or steal it.”

This breaks his attention from the camera, his smile spreading wider as he chuckles. “I won’t.”

You let out a huff as you nod once, crossing your arms and turning to walk to your friends. You go to the end of the line, tucking yourself under Colin’s arm.

“Don’t drool all over me.”

You scoff, looking up at him. “What?”

“You’ve got heart eyes for our photographer, I’m surprised you couldn’t feel your jaw dragging on the floor as you came over here.”

“Shut up,” you mumble, hitting his chest as he laughs at you.

“Stop talking and smile!” Jo chastises, and you listen in the hopes of Colin dropping it.

You look back at the man who has the camera, and feel your cheeks blush as you make eye contact with him. You opt to look at the camera instead, trying to forget the fact that his eyes were undeniably on you.

He snaps a bunch of pictures of you guys, and as the mom friends Jo even made you do what she deems a “silly” one.

Once Jo is satisfied, she runs up to him, grabbing the camera with a quick and uninterested ‘thanks’ as she immediately starts scrolling through the pictures. Everyone gathers around, laughing and pointing at each other on the tiny screen.

“Thank you,” you say, standing next to him as you watch your friends leaning over Jo’s shoulder.

“No problem,” he smiles, also watching your group. “I hope they’re good enough for a Christmas card.”

You laugh, probably too loudly for how lame of a comment it was, but he seems to appreciate it.

You shake your head. “Knowing Jo, I’ll have an entire book of pictures by the end of this that she’ll insist I keep on my coffee table the rest of my life.”

He chuckles, his hands sliding into the pockets of his jacket. He’s got a beanie covering his ears, and you can’t help but notice he looks better in it than you ever could.

“It’s nice having friends that feel like family. I’m glad you get to have them around for the holidays.”

It’s weird how that comment seems to sit with you. He knows nothing about you, but he’s right. How he knew you needed to hear that, you don’t know.

“Yeah,” you nod, biting your lip as you take in a breath through your nose to ground yourself. “Thanks again, uh…”

“Grayson.” One of his hands leaves his pockets, hanging in the air between the two of you. You take it, letting his fingers fold around your own hand. His skin is warm against yours, a nice change to the cool winds that have been gusting around you the entire day.

He raises his brow at you, and for a second you don’t know what he wants. He keeps your hand engulfed in his, and it hits you that he’s waiting to hear your name.

“Y/N.”

“Y/N,” he says, almost testing it out as he lets your hand drop. “I like that.”

You giggle, your cheeks blushing as you realize the involuntary reactions he’s pulling from you. You’re not a giggler.

“Yo Gray!” Another deep voice comes from over your shoulder, and you turn to see someone who could be a clone of the man standing in front of you. “We gotta go.”

You’re not sure if you make up the sigh you think you hear come from his lips, hoping he was disappointed he had to leave, too.

“I hope you like the pictures.”

And as suddenly as he had appeared next to you, you were watching him jog over back to his own group of people as they disappeared behind the crowd.

“Don’t worry,” Colin’s grip was on your shoulder again as he stepped next to you. “Love is in the air this Christmas season. If it’s not him, it’s someone.”

“I’m Jewish.”

“And Christmas is barely about being Christian anymore. Everyone gets some Christmas joy.”

“Yeah, whatever,” you shake your head, leaning into him a bit. You appreciated his positivity, despite your pessimism. If Christmas miracles were real, your life would have played out very differently.

***

Cold.

That was all you could feel, think, see.

After your adventure at the tree, you planned to go ice skating. You had to, according to Jo. It would be a waste to be there and not go.

When you tried to get out of it, claiming to want to keep Kam company seeing as he had an ankle injury and couldn’t skate, everyone including Kam called you on your shit and made you get out on the ice.

Which you were pretty sure they were regretting now.

You’d never been confident on the ice, only skating a few times in your life. You couldn’t leave the edge, holding onto the side for dear life as you moved slowly around the rink. Your friends took shifts staying with you the rest skating at a more reasonable pace as they continued to lap you.

That is, until Colin and Gia start arguing about who’s better and decide to race, Jo trailing behind them to make sure they don’t knock any children down.

Despite your tight grip on the wall, without the help of your friends your balance fails you and before you knew what was happening, your feet were flailing beneath you. You’re surprised the ice didn’t crack as you fell, your body colliding with the cold, hard ice as your hand trailed down the wall.

You laid there a moment, partially in shame but mainly from the exhaustion of trying to keep yourself upright. You only open your eyes when you hear a chuckle from above you. When you do open them, however, you’re met with an unexpected sight.

“You alright?”

That same charming smile was looking down at you, Grayson’s hand held out in front of him in an offer to help you up.

You scramble to sit up, taking his hand, the other going to the ice as you start to slowly stand up. What you don’t expect is the amount of force he would use to help you, feeling the tug on your arm as he quickly gets you back to your feet.

It’s so quick that you can’t seem to get your footing, your skates scrambling on the slick ice again. Before you can take another tumble, though, his hand is leaving yours as you feel his grip on your waist. He manages to steady you, your palms resting on his chest to do your best to stay still for a moment. Your breathing is a bit jagged as you try to collect your thoughts, your brain jumbled from the events of the past minute, the close proximity to Grayson not helping.

“Uh.” Your mind is racing a mile a minute in order to catch up to where you were right now. Still against Grayson’s body, his face close to yours with a concerned look. His eyes seem to be tracking your own expressions as he tries to figure out if you’re hurt. “Yeah, think I’m good.”

You lean back against the wall, and he takes it as a sign to let go of you. Despite your multiple layers that separated your skin from his hands, you somehow feel a bit colder without him touching you.

“Bit of a hard fall there.”

“Yeah,” you chuckle, nodding your head as you flush, realizing he saw the whole thing happen. “I’m not the best skater.”

“Interested in a lesson?” He holds his hand out to you.

You raise your brow, not moving from the safety of the wall. “You want to teach me?”

“Yeah, Y/N.”

You’re not sure why hearing your name from his mouth unprompted affected you so much, but you felt almost as if you were in a trance. It was like you couldn’t control yourself anymore, your hand falling easily into his.

“Why?”

For the first time since you met him, Grayson seemed to be a bit flustered. “I, uh, think it’s important everyone knows how to skate. It’s definitely a life skill,” he justifies, nodding and pursing his lips. “Plus, I used to play hockey. So I know what I’m doing.”

“I’m not looking to learn how to body someone on ice.”

His laughter is loud as he leans forward a bit, his body closer to yours once again. His grip on your hand tightens, and it’s suddenly hard to believe you’ve gone your whole life without hearing him laugh. You can’t help your own laughter that falls from your lips in response to him, your eyes unable to leave his face.

“I’m just gonna teach you how to not fall,” he reassures through his smile. “I’ve seen people get seriously hurt falling.”

The reminder of possible injuries not only makes you aware of the dull ache you were feeling from your most recent fall, but also of the fact you were far away from the door of the rink.

Grayson notices the change in your attitude, his smile quickly fading. “Or I can just help you off the ice.”

His voice brings you back to reality as you take in a breath and look up at him. Despite the fear bubbling inside of you, the tendinitis in your joints screaming for you to stop, you can’t help but think about what Colin said before. Maybe this was your Christmas miracle.

“No, you’re right. It’s totally a life skill.”

The corners of his mouth turn up as nods before situating himself sideways next to you. “Alright, first things first you gotta remember to bend your knees.”

You uneasily push your body off the wall, your hand still gripping it. “Actually, first things first I have to turn the right direction.”

He chuckles and nods, standing there expectantly. You realize he’s waiting for you to do it yourself.

“I don’t know how.”

“Oh.” He switches his hands so you’re holding one farther from you. His now free arm reaches around your waist. “Can I?”

You nod, and you feel his firm grip on you once again. As soon as he starts to maneuver you, you squeal, tightening your hand on his as your other flies from the wall to cover his grip on your jacket.

“Sorry,” you mumble. “I’m not usually such a little bitch.”

He laughs, and that’s when you realize how close you are again. You can feel his warm breath on the side of your face, and you can’t bring yourself to look at him in fear of totally freezing from making eye contact. You can’t remember the last time someone made you feel so nervous yet so comfortable at the same time.

“You’re not a little bitch, you’re just getting used to the ice. You’ll be lapping me in no time.”

It’s your turn to laugh as you shake your head. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, but I’m pretty sure my only goal should be to not eat shit.”

“We got this, then.”

Surprisingly enough, you guys managed to stay standing the whole time. After your first lap around, and partially to your disappointment, you were able to skate without his arm around you, the only support you needed coming from holding his hand and the occasional grip of the wall. The only time you came close to falling was when he taught you how to pick up speed, but even then you managed to stay on your feet.

What caught you most off guard, however, was how easily being around him was. Somehow it felt like you had known each other for years, your comfort level increasing every minute you spent together. You were able to laugh together, never a dull or quiet moment as he continued to guide you around the rink. You lost track of where your friends even were, nevermind how the lights around the rink were seemingly getting brighter as the sun went down.

“So who was that guy from before that looked like you?”

“My twin brother Ethan.”

At this point you two were skating at a normal speed, staying close to the wall for your sanity, but the only support you needed was him holding your hand.

“You guys are close?”

“Oh my god,” he laughs, shaking his head. You look over at him, smiling as you watch him try and put into words what he wants to explain. “Probably too close. We do everything together.”

“That’s gotta be nice, though.”

“It is. It’s good to always have someone like that,” he agrees. “Do you have any siblings?”

You nod, looking forward again. “Yeah, two brothers.”

“So you already know how to body people, it was just the on ice part you struggled with.”

You laugh. “Exactly, you just caught me in my moment of weakness.”

“Oh, so you would have bodied me otherwise?”

You look back over at him, letting your gaze go up and down his body as if you’re sizing him up. “Totally.”

Before he can respond, your body is being jerked as you feel Gia’s arm fall over your shoulder. You grip Grayson’s hand hard to stay standing.

“As much as I hate to be the party pooper, I’ve gotta steal you away. Jo’s freaking about us being late for the dinner res.”

Both Grayson and Gia stop skating, but you move forward with the momentum you had built up. Stopping hadn’t been a part of the day's lesson.

You fall backwards between the grip they both had on you. You’re not even sure what your hands start reaching for as you flail around, expecting the cold of the ice under your body just like before.

Instead, you feel two strong arms under you. When you open your eyes, Grayson’s face is so close to yours you’re sure you would see any imperfections if he had them. His eyebrows are high on his forehead as he searches your face just like last time, looking for a status update.

“Oh my god, I’m totally ruining the Christmas miracle right now, aren’t I?”

Grayson does what he can to keep a straight face due to the concern he still had for you, but he can’t stop the snort that comes from him as you groan and cover your face in embarrassment from Gia’s comment.

“Giovannina, I swear on my life, I will literally-”

“I’m sorry!” Grayson stands you back up making sure you’re steady on your feet before letting go of you. “Jo’s got her murder eyes, you know the ones, and she’s been looking forward to this restaurant all week and we waited as long as possibly because-” she looks at Grayson. “You seem fabulous, truly. So cute. But,” she looks back at you, puppy dog eyes fully activated. “You know how Jo gets.”

You let out a sigh, nodding your head. “I do.”

She sheepishly holds her hands out for you, and you bregudgely take them, making sure you exaggerate your frustrations. It’s not Gia’s fault, or even Jo’s that your time with Grayson had to get cut short, but that doesn’t mean you won’t throw a fit about it.

“Thank you for finally teaching her how to skate. She’s a woman of many talents, but being on ice is not one of them,” Gia chuckles, her smile genuine but your annoyance only building. Gia’s intentions are always pure, but god damn she was a bad wingman.

Fortunately, Grayson smiles in agreement as he looks at you. “It was a rough beginning, but I think you’ve got potential.” He nudges your shoulder with his lightheartedly, but you tense in fear of falling over.

“Sure, lots of potential,” you mumble, letting Gia slowly start to pull you to the exit.

“Hey, is there any way I could-”

“Y/N!”

You all turn to see Jo standing in front of Colin and Kam, and you’re pretty sure you can also see the vein popping out of the side of her neck in distress as she tries to rush you along. You make a mental note to figure out who has her for secret santa to tell them to get her a voucher to a spa.

You turn back to look at Grayson, both of you standing there somewhat speechless, not sure what to say and not wanting to speak over the other.

“Thanks for looking out for her again!” Gia interrupts, tugging you along and forcing you to turn back around.

You let her pull you along in silence, disappointment quickly settling in the pit of your stomach.

This wasn’t you. You were very intentional with who you let in your life, and even more intentional with who you liked. You were notoriously single, always prioritizing everything and everyone before putting yourself in a position to get hurt. You let rationality rule, emotions only ever proving to cause pain and heartbreak.

So why the fuck were you so caught up in Grayson?

***

You did your best to not think about him, the illusive man you met one day two weeks ago. You had so much to distract yourself with, too. Between the Christmas celebration you guys did, the other activities Jo had planned around the city, and just spending time with people you loved, you should have been able to forget Grayson in a day, go back to how life was before he offered to take pictures for you.

Even Jo picked up on how you were off. You were going through with every stupid craft or activity she made you do, without a complaint. She knew something was up.

Which is why she conceded on one of her biggest wishes, one she knew you were not looking forward to.

“So I found us a house party for New Years.”

You look up from your phone at her declaration, brows furrowed. “What?”

“Instead of going out on the street for New Years, we’ll go to a party in one of the apartments nearby.” She’s got everyone's attention now, Kam pausing the show on the TV to listen. “We’ll still be able to see the ball drop, but we’ll be inside.”

“How’d you find a party? Those apartments are mad nice, only rich people live in them.”

“You know how my sister’s out in LA trying to be a model?”

You nod.

“Well, it’s kind of working. She’s gotten herself a group of influencer friends, successful ones. They’re here for New Year’s, so she got us on the list.”

“Holy shit,” Gia mutters.

“Is Madison Beer gonna be there?” Kam asks.

You laugh, shaking your head. “Dude, even if she is, there’s no way she’d fuck you.”

Kam scoffs, flipping you off. “Don’t be an ass just because your Christmas miracle was a fail. Some of us don’t hate the world.”

“There’s no such thing as Christmas miracles, Kam. Plus, it’s past Christmas.”

“Alright, alright,” Colin interrupts, holding his hands up between the two of you. “First off,” he points at you. “Christmas miracles are definitely real, you’re just a Grinch. And,” he turns to point at Kam. “Madison Beer is way out of your fucking league.”

“Ha!”

“However,” Colin cuts you off. “If she did fuck you, I would classify that as a Christmas miracle because it is still holiday time and therefore the rules of Christmas miracles still apply.”

You throw your hands up in confusion, but Jo beats you to it. “What are the rules of Christmas Miracles?”

“Oh jesus,” you mumble under your breath as Colin sits up straighter and clears his throat.

“The rules are as follows,” he holds up a finger. “If you can find a shitty, holiday themed movie on the Hallmark channel, it’s Christmas-time and therefore a Christmas miracle can happen. They usually run through New Years, so you both-” he points at you and Kam, “have the opportunity for your Christmas miracles.”

“I cannot believe-”

“Second,” he interrupts you, holding up a second finger. “Christmas miracles come to people who deserve them.”

“Oh, so that’s why Y/n’s didn’t work out?” Kam murmurs, and you flip him off.

“Kam, your already low odds of fucking Madison Beer are dwindling by the second.”

“Fine,” he holds his hands up in defeat. “Keep going.”

“Y/n is totally deserving of a Christmas miracle,” Gia defends you. “She puts so much time into making sure we’re happy. Just because she doesn’t like Christmas, doesn’t mean she’s not deserving.”

“Exactly G,” Colin nods in approval, before putting up a third finger. “And lastly, you have to believe you deserve the Christmas miracle.” It feels like he’s staring into your soul when he says that one.

You all sit there in silence, individually deciding how much you want to believe what Colin is saying.

Of course it sounds like a load of horse shit. But, it didn’t feel like horseshit when you were with Grayson.

“Whatever,” you declare, standing up. “I need more.” You swirl your now empty mug, walking over to the hot chocolate and peppermint vodka on the counter.

“A little joy never hurt anyone, Y/n,” Kam comments, holding his empty mug out to you as you walk by. You take it from him, putting them down on the counter once you reach it.

“You’d be surprised.”

***

You’re not sure how Gia convinced you that a skimpy outfit was the perfect idea to wear for New Years, yet here you were, shivering to the bone as you walked down the street.

You don’t even like wearing heels most of the time, out of fear of falling down. Gia claims you look confident when you wear them, which you reveal to her is fake. That’s always been your motto: ‘fake it ‘till you make it.’ That didn’t seem to sway her, though, so the stilettos that now dug into your pinky toes were what you committed to for the entirety of the evening.

Colin’s arm around your shoulder wasn’t helping to warm you any, your faux fur coat letting the cool breeze still brush against your skin. Your small black tank top tucked into your matching black jeans were not made to be worn in the 20 degree weather. You kept your body close to him, your arm wrapped around his waist with your free hand in Gia’s.

“We’re gonna have the best night!”

You smile at Gia’s excitement, her eyes seeming to sparkle with the lights that line the street. Other groups of partiers and New Year’s Eve celebrators make it hard to hear her over their loud screaming and excitement, and you can’t help but let that energy invigorate you a bit. You guys were getting closer to the end of your break, reality would be setting in soon, and you’d be buckling down with school again. You wanted to enjoy the time you had left with your friends.

“I’m so excited to see who’s there,” Kam agrees.

“You can’t be weird about it, though,” Jo warns. “My sister said we have to act like we’re supposed to be there. This is a private thing, they want to have a normal New Year’s Eve.”

“I promise I’ll be my normal self,” Kam holds his hands up in defense, a smirk on his lips.

“Yeah, that’s what I’m worried about,” she mumbles, causing Kam to give her a light shove as you continue to make your way down the street.

When you finally reach the entrance of the building Jo’s sister told you to come to, you’re all speechless. You could see the lobby of the building through the glass doors, and it was fancier than any hotel you’d ever stayed in before.

Jo makes the move first, opening the door and walking in. Kam grabs it from her, holding it for the rest of you as you file in behind her, like a group of ducklings following their mom blindly across the pond.

She speaks with the woman at the front desk, who points you to the hallways where you assume the elevators are. None of you speak as she walks you over and presses the button.

When an elevator finally arrives, there’s an attendant waiting for you inside. You’d had the opportunity to indulge in many extravagant things in life, and have taken those opportunities, but this was a whole other level of fancy.

Jo has a similar conversation with the attendant that she did with the woman at the front desk. He does something on his Ipad before smiling at you all and pressing a button that prompts the doors to close.

“Holy. Fuck,” Colin whispers in your ear, and all you can do is look at him with wide eyes and an open mouth.

When the doors open in front of you, the silence from the ride up in the elevator is immediately permeated by the bustle of the party in front of you.

“Have a good time!” The attendant says as you all slowly step across the gap in the floor and into one of the nicest apartments you think you had ever seen in your life.

There’s a few dozen people working their way around the room, no more than 50. You can appreciate the smaller crowd, knowing that being on the street would have been significantly more uncomfortable with the amount of people who gather there every year.

“Jojo!” Katherine’s high pitched voice breaks through the music as you see Jo’s bubbly sister make her way over to you guys.

“Hey Kath,” she murmurs, already being suffocated in a hug.

Katherine pulls away, keeping her hands on Jo’s shoulder in order to keep her close. “How are you? Haven’t seen you in forever!”

“I know,” Jo grimaces. “That’s what happens when you move across the country and rarely call anyone.”

Katherine almost misses a beat, but instead turns to the rest of you.

“It’s so of nice you guys could come! I can’t imagine what it would have been like...out there,” she trails off, looking towards the large windows that overlook Times Square.

Jo mutters ‘“authentic” under her breath as Gia cries out “cold!”

“Exactly!” Katherine turns back to you guys. “I knew I always liked you, Gigi.”

“It’s Gia.”

“Whatevs, Jojo. Go in and get cozy! And don’t embarrass me, please.” It’s scary the smile Katherine has on her face as she disappears back into the crowd. It would look genuine to the naked eye, but she almost looked dead inside when you took a closer look. But, in the wise words of Katherine herself, ‘whatevs.’

“I see the bar,” Colin nods his chin in the opposite direction that Katherine went, and you’re grateful you won’t have to see her so soon again.

“Please,” is all Jo squeaks out before making a beeline for the counter where the bartender stood.

You chuckle, following closely behind.

“The usual?”

You shake your head, stepping up next to Jo to order your own drink instead. “A moscow mule, please.”

You can feel all eyes on you, curiosity peaking at your change of heart. You never strayed from your normal order.

“What?” You ask defensibly, as you turn around to confront their questioning looks.

“Going rogue?” Kam asks.

“Trying out the holiday joy you suggested, Kam. Any objections?”

“Nope.” He pops the ‘p,’ his smile widening as he realizes you’re letting your walls down for once.

That doesn’t last long after your drink is in your hand, however.

There’s Grayson. Your Christmas miracle. Sitting on the couch, a girl in his lap and a smile on his face. He looks good in a turtleneck, you note, but that doesn’t stop the queasiness settling in your stomach. You knew Christmas miracles were horseshit, but this just felt like a cruel trick.

“What’s with the frown?” Kam asks, standing next to you as everyone else situates themselves with a drink.

“Don’t look right now, but behind you is my supposed Christmas miracle with a girl in his lap.”

Kam whips his head around, scanning the room.

“Dude are you kidding? I said don’t turn,” you grip his arm, forcing him to turn back, but not before he’s spotted the cozy couple. The look of pity on his face unsettles you.

“I’m sorry.”

You shake your head, taking a sip from your drink. “Don’t be, I knew him for an hour. I will, however, be calling Colin on his shit later.”

“What shit?” Colin asks, coming to stand next to you.

“Your Christmas miracle bullshit.”

A laugh bubbles up from his chest as he quirks a brow. “Oh really?” “Yeah, Grayson’s over there with a girl-”

“Damn, for how quickly obsessed you became with the kid, you really are forgetful.”

You give Colin a question look, waiting for him to continue.

“He has an identical twin. Your Christmas miracle is standing against the staircase. He’s been looking at you since we got to the bar.”

Your turn your head and sure enough, your eyes are locked with Grayson’s. He’s just as captivating as last time, his warm smile on his face once he realizes he’s been spotting. Unlike last time, however, instead of shying away from the eye contact, you can’t seem to stop looking.

“Remember, you have to believe you deserve the Christmas miracle,” Colin whispers in your ear before giving you a not so gentle shove in Grayson’s direction.

“You’re lucky I’m not a violent person,” you say over your shoulder, before making your way over to him. You can feel the excitement tingling in your fingertips that grip your drink as you do your best to be polite to the people you bump into on your way.

Once you’re close enough, Grayson pushes himself off the banister, creating a space for you to stand between the wooden sticks and his large body.

“Fancy seeing you here.”

His voice is deeper than you remember, more delicious if possible. It feels familiar hearing him speak, a comfort you didn’t know you had been missing.

“You’re supposed to say that when you expect to see someone, not when you’re actually surprised.”

He lets out a low laugh, nodding in defeat. “Okay, true. It’s a good surprise, though - at least for me.” He seems a bit less smooth than last time, too. You can feel the nerves coming off him, his confidence lower. You wonder if it’s got to do with the environment you’re in.

You smile up at him, licking your lips in order to drag out the unknown a bit longer. You can’t give it all up right away.

“Yeah,” you finally agree. “A real good surprise.”

“Good.”

“Although, you know I gotta ask it.”

His smile falters as he raises his brow. “I think I gotta ask the same thing.”

“You first,” you nod your chin at him, crossing your arms.

“Ethan and I are a friend of a friend to one of the host’s friends. We’re normally not in Jersey for New Year’s, so when they found out we’d be celebrating alone in our mom’s house, we got an invite.”

“A Jersey kid?” You feign disgust, making him laugh as he leans his arm over your head. He smells good, his scent overriding your thoughts for a moment.

“Is that a bad thing?”

You shrug. “Usually. I guess I’ll overlook it, though.”

“Don’t knock it ‘till you try it,” he answers cockily.

You giggle, shaking your head at the cheesy comment. “Are you offering me somewhat of a free trial?”

“More like endless coupons with no expiration date.”

This makes you fully laugh, him chuckling with you as you feel your cheeks heat up at the implication of his words.

“You barely know me,” you counter, still unable to look away from his eyes. “What makes you so sure about offering such a good deal to me?”

He shrugs. “Call it a gut feeling.”

You feel your own stomach go crazy at that, the confirmation that he was feeling what you were only heightening how his warmth seemed to radiate off him, everything Grayson flooding your senses.

“Your turn.”

“Hm?” You hum, bringing your drink to your lips.

“What’s gotten you into Madison Beer’s apartment?”

You choke on the liquid you intended on swallowing, coughing to clear your throat. His brows furrow as he brings his hand from above you to your back, rubbing it.

“Oh my god - sorry - I just,” you take in a big breath before standing up straight again, more confident in your lungs. “This is Madison Beer’s apartment?”

“Yeah,” he chuckles, looking around the room. “You didn’t know?”

You shake your head. “Jo’s sister -”

“Murder eyes Jo?”

“Exactly. She’s been out in LA modeling. When she heard we were gonna be in New York for New Year’s she got us in. This -” you gesture to the room, noticing the more familiar faces you’re seeing now that you’re paying attention. “Totally not my normal scene.”

“So you’re giving everything new a shot right before the year ends?”

“Mhm,” you bring your gaze back to him. “In case I want to take it back and act like it never happened.”

He laughs, licking over his teeth. “Sounds like a solid plan.”

***

It was stupid how well you got along. You didn’t even see any of your other friends the entire night, Grayson keeping you tucked in the corner. You hoped Kam had somehow ran into Madison at some point, but you weren’t inclined enough to leave Grayson to help him with it.

It felt like you guys were somehow meant to be there that night together. Maybe Colin was onto something, maybe this was your (belated) Christmas miracle.

“It was total fate, I’m telling you. The odds we were able to get Mando on our team in the first place, nevermind him being one of the most important people in our lives now.” Grayson shakes his head as he recalls the memories, a reminiscent smile on his face. “You believe in all that, right?”

“What?” You hum, admiring his positivity. Every story, every glimpse into his life he’s given you throughout the night, has all ended in a positive twist. He managed to see the bright side of every situation, despite the horrible shit that’s been thrown his way.

“Fate.”

You sit up a bit straighter, your elbows leaving where they rested on your thighs. Your knee was touching his, your proximity close on the couch due to the amount of people who were sitting there with you. You felt like you were in a bit of a bubble, though. Despite the loud chatter from all around you, the only thing you could pay attention to was Grayson.

“I’m not gonna lie to you,” you set your cup down before leaning back against the cushion. His arm that was resting on the top of that cushion drops, landing on your shoulder casually, but you can feel the warmth it immediately brings. “I never really did. I’ve always been the pessimist of the bunch. However,” your eyes find Colin, who’s sat to Grayson’s back. He gives you a wide smile and two thumbs up. You can’t help the smile that makes its way onto your own face as you look back at Grayson. “I’ve recently become a bit of a believer. Why?”

He shrugs. “I mean, what are the odds we not only had the same skate time at one of the most popular skating rinks in the world, but we also then end up at the same New Year’s Eve party?”

You huff, starting to think. “Well, statistically speaking -”

“No,” he laughs, nudging your leg with his own. “Fate isn’t about statistics, or probability. There’s nothing explainable about it.”

“My friend Colin is calling it a Christmas miracle,” you admit.

“So that’s what your friend meant when she interrupted us on the ice?”

“Oh god,” you groan, covering your face in the same manner as last time, shaking your head. “Don’t remind me.”

“Hey,” he chuckles, grabbing one of your wrists to expose your face to him again. “Don’t worry about it, it was funny.”

“It shouldn’t have been funny, though,” you whine, a pout forming on your lips.

He cocks his head to the side, a smirk settling on his face. “What should it have been?”

Before you can respond, the countdown from 60 begins, and suddenly everyone is standing and chanting around you, buzzing to start the new year.

58, 57, 56, 55

Grayson stands, holding a hand out for you to take. You place your hand in his, standing right next to him, there being little room for you two between the couch and the coffee table causing your chests to be pressed against one another. You look up at him, the same warm eyes he’s had for you meeting your gaze again.

“Romantic.”

“Huh?” He leans closer to you, his ear so close to your mouth that you were tempted to nip his earlobe.

“It should have been romantic.”

24, 23, 22, 21

He lifts his head so he can look at you again, close enough for his nose to brush against yours. One of his hands reaches around you, finding a resting spot on your lower back. His other hand comes to your cheek, his thumb rubbing the skin there. You grip his sweater at his sides, keeping him close to you.

“Ten, nine, eight,” Grayson starts counting down with the rest of the party, and you follow suit.

As everyone screams around you, celebrating the new year, you feel Grayson’s lips on yours. It feels like a movie, like the world is celebrating how amazing you guys feel right now as you finally physically connect with the person it feels like you were always meant to be with.

His lips are warm and smooth against yours, his every intention clear as he kisses you with a passion you’ve never experienced before. Your every nerve is on fire, your heart in flames as you keep yourself grounded by the grip you have on him.

He only pulls away as you feel champagne fall on the both of you, the confetti that was launched now sticking to you from the liquid. You can’t help the laugh that comes out of you at the craziness of it all, the fact that you just kissed the man in front of you, the man still in your grip, the man who still had his hands on you hard to comprehend.

Colin was right. Christmas miracles were most certainly real, and you deserved this one.

Grayson smirks down at you, leaning down to peck your lips once more before speaking. “Romantic enough for you?”

[ladyeliot]

Your legacy is my nightmare [½]  Re-written

Avengers: Age of Ultron / Post Civil War

Pairing: Avengers/Tony Stark x Avenger!Reader

Summary: Your past was marked by Tony Stark, ever since a Stark Industries bomb hit that restaurant when you were 10 years old, during an attack on Novi Grad, the capital of Sokovia. From that moment on, the rage for revenge took hold of you, but things didn’t turn out the way you expected.

Warnings: Angst. Trauma. Deaths. Violence.

Word count: 5378

A/N:  Sorry for my spelling and grammatical mistakes, English is not my native language, I am learning.

Reader Powers: Psionic Force Projection. Psionic force fields that she can manipulate in various ways. 

When you were five years old you discovered that there was a completely different world inside that magic box. A world that seemed far away from the small town you lived in, a world that could capture your attention, that made you laugh, that grabbed you, and that you dreamed of living in in the future. It was then that American sitcoms became your world.

Your childhood in Novi Grad, the capital of Sokovia, was like that of any other child, totally happy. You were an only child, you were born and raised in a hard-working and extremely loving family, your parents loved you and you loved them, because all they wanted was to make you happy. Your birth took place on a sunny morning in June, creating the tradition that every birthday you went out to do something special, something out of the ordinary routine of everyday life. On your sixth birthday your parents took you to the amusement park, discovering that you weren’t too fond of Ferris wheels. During your eighth birthday your parents opted to take you to a football match, which you enjoyed quite a lot. On your ninth birthday, the three of you took a little trip to the mountains, discovering that you were completely allergic to wasp stings, but on your tenth birthday, everything changed.

For several weeks you had been pestering your mother to go to the new restaurant that had opened in the city centre. Remember that you were madly in love with American sitcoms from the 1950s, which were constantly on reruns on Sokovia television, so you couldn’t have been luckier when you found out that they had opened an American-style restaurant in the city centre. Your mother used to make excuses for not going, but not because she didn’t want to, but because she wanted to wait until your tenth birthday to go and have lunch with the three of you as a family, and that’s how it happened. The morning of your tenth birthday, Novi Grad dawned bright and shiny, there was hardly a cloud in the sky, and the sun was shining. It was Saturday, so there was neither school nor any job that would prevent you from spending the day apart. Your face changed to excitement when you discovered a note along with a special breakfast, informing you of a surprise lunch at Fred’s, the American-style restaurant. At the time you thought you were the luckiest girl in the universe, and that nothing and no one was going to change your mind, but things never work out the way you expect them to.

At around 13:15 you were seated at a table, and you yourself had decided which table you preferred, opting for the one right next to the large window, where you could watch the crowds passing by on the street. While your father informed the waitress about the menu you were going to have, you played with the bottle of ketchup while looking out of the window, on Saturdays the centre was usually crowded and that put you in a good mood. A Jukebox harmonised the atmosphere with typical songs of that decade, you had no idea what the song was, but you knew that you had heard it before in some sitcom. You were delighted, you seemed to be part of one of those comic scenes that made you laugh night after night, however something outside caught your attention, making you drop the bottle of ketchup from your hands. The scene was strange, people were no longer walking, running, no longer laughing, shouting, but you barely had time to utter “Mum…” before a bomb smashed through the large window.

Trauma. An inconsistent word that has so many negative connotations for the person who suffers from it. You never thought that a life filled with numerous catastrophic experiences could ever find the meaning of the word ‘Peace’ again, yet there you were, searching for it. The placid singing of the water crashing against the stones of the riverbed was the best melody you could wake up to every morning. After so many years you had found a place away from civilisation, far from the terror of humanity. A hut in the middle of the green and brown fields of Wakanda, a place where nothing and no one could disturb you. You could say, you could barely remember the time when you were at peace with yourself, maybe your childhood, but there was nothing left of that. However, the harmony around you, together with the humility of country life had given you back all the strength you needed to be able to go on with your life.

But now the question is how you came to Wakanda and why. It had been almost a year since a terrifying experience in the maximum security prison for humans with superpowers, also known as the Raft, prevented you from ever finding inner peace again. During the indeterminate period of time you were held in that underwater facility, the guards did terrible things to your brain. Fear for your powers caused them to take the initiative in using brain torture methods, the only way they discovered that was effective in overriding them. It left scars on you that would last a lifetime, if you made it out of there alive, which you came to believe would be impossible.

The next question is how you came to find yourself in that situation, but we’d better go back to the beginning, when that bomb hit that American-style restaurant in your hometown of Novi Grad. The darkness came moments after the projectile pierced the glass of that building and found its way into the ruins inside, creating a gaping hole underground. The loss of time and space came upon you, when you opened your eyes there was nothing, it was all darkness, yet a red, flickering light was just a few centimetres from your face. You could not move, your limbs were confined by the debris, you could only see the light that slightly illuminated the small air chamber in which you found yourself. You saw that metallic object in front of you, which had written on its side words that were engraved in your memory forever 'Stark Industries’.

It was a long period in which tears silently flowed from your eyes, it was indescribable the way fear clung to your body, with a small hope of being found that flickered on and off with that red light. You hardly knew what that light meant, that it really was a 'lucky break’ for you, at least that’s what all the news said when you were rescued two days later. Eventually you discovered that the bomb must have exploded, that like your parents and all the other members of the local, you must have died.

Your life after that did not improve, but you found them, Wanda and Pietro Maximoff. Your similar experiences during the bombing of Sokovia brought you together, they had also lost their parents and now you were three orphans who were confined from house to house waiting to come of age and flee the place.  The country of Sokovia became a war zone, with US troops frequently invading the streets, causing protests by the locals to intensify. During your youth you were a very active part of them, along with the twins, especially those against 'Stark Industries’. What those experiences generated was that the hatred you had hidden for Stark resurfaced again. The three of you wanted to purge your nation of foreign conflicts, so you met a division fighting for the same thing called HYDRA. You joined together, hoping to change the world, hoping to seek peace and freedom again, but that is not what happened. That group had very different ideas, ideas that you three were obviously not a part of, yet your innocence played a trick on you. Stucker, the leader of the division, offered you power, an outlet in the fight against violence, and you accepted, exposing yourselves to a series of physical experiments, called the 'Miracles’ programme. The programme consisted of exposing your bodies to radiation emitted through a sceptre that you had no idea what it was. Thirty-two people participated in the experiment, only you three remained alive. This caused a series of supernatural powers to develop in each of you. In your case, the psionic force took control of your body.

At this point HYDRA had got what it wanted, three superhumans to fight the Avengers, including Iron Man, aka Tony Stark, CEO of Stark Industries. It was impossible to admit that this was too juicy an incentive for you to pass up. The Avengers travelled to Sokovia with the intention of stealing the sceptre that gave you your powers. It was then, at the age of 25, after fifteen years of waiting for that moment, that you came face to face with the creator of the bomb that killed your parents, in that HYDRA operations centre in Sokovia. For the first time you could look him in the eye.

“Hey, J, a quick infrared scanner to the room,” he said in the middle of that wide ship, he had shed the suit, which was now operating on its own.

“The column to your left, I detected a human presence, with radiation levels off the charts,” the suit spoke up, discovering your position.

There was no point in staying hidden, it was the opposite of what you wanted, you wanted him to see you, to have the courage to look you in the eye, to not know who you were and let him know. Tony turned quickly towards that column that the inner voice of his suit had informed him about and bumped into you. The moment came. The brown of his iris projected towards you, he looked terribly harmless, he raised his left hand and Iron Man’s limb covered his own, projecting the palm of his hand towards your body. A smirk of arrogance amplified on your mouth.

“I mean you no harm,” his voice came out fast.

“So late,” you whispered without wiping away the smile, as you slowly raised your palms, creating a psionic field in a circular shape.

Just as Iron Man’s limb had attached itself to yours, the entire suit suddenly encircled your body. At that very moment you projected the psionic field towards him, starting a fierce battle in the middle of that ship. A battle that lasted no more than ten minutes due to your lack of ability to control, manipulate and project your powers. But that would be the first of many times you were to encounter him, that first encounter left you with a thirst for vengeance that would eventually fade, but at that moment it was impossible for you to know.

Things evolved over time, from HYDRA you came to ULTRON, who immersed you in his power, told you he was coming to save the world, but also to wipe out the Avengers, trapping you again in his intentions, believing his were the same as yours. Baron Von Strucker was killed shortly after by Ultron, now it was just the four of you, Ultron, the Maximoff twins and you.

At Salvage Yard, on the African Coast, was the second encounter. Your little group had headed out to meet Ulysses Klaue, an international criminal and underground black market arms dealer, to obtain the world’s most durable material, vibranium, however the Avengers also showed up, making the encounter more interesting. Thor, Captain America and Iron Man stood before the four of you in the middle of a gorge of corridors inside that container ship. There was Iron Man again, covering the body of Tony Stark inside.

“Are you comfortable?” Pietro turned his gaze to a set of missiles that were located on the lower deck. “Like the old times?

"This was never my life,” Iron Man replied, his voice neutral.

“Of course not,” you interjected, stepping to Pietro’s side. “He’s just the enforcer, isn’t he?”

“You can still walk away from this,” Captain America interjected, offering a nostalgic gesture from under his helmet.

“Oh, we’ll do it,” you said with marked indifference. “When the time comes.”

“I know you have suffered,” Captain America commented, eliciting a broad smile from you.

“You know that…” you whispered with a grin, lowering your gaze to your hands where psionic force was slowly concentrating through your fingers. “I really don’t care if you know.”

“It’s about me,” Tony’s stiff voice hit the mark.

“Bingo,” you said wryly just as a wide psionic field formed between your hands offering the signal for the battle to begin.

Disproportionate beams of light slammed into your pupils, energy bursting from each of you, causing the others to stand on guard and find their opponent to carry out their actions. Ultron’s minions moved to counterattack, while you scattered without a specific destination. You had had weeks of training to be able to face the new encounter you all knew was coming, and you could feel your control over your powers becoming more extended, but to do so you had to have your full attention focused on your actions.

The clash between you and Iron Man sent you off course, into a maze of dark corridors and passageways that were only illuminated by the energy coming out of that armour. Your psionic strength kept at bay the radiation that poured from the palm of his gauntlets and the monorail on his chest, causing it to bounce hard off the iron blocks of the walls.

“I’m not who you think I am,” Tony Stark’s voice came through the armour.

“Very subtle when you hide behind a mask,” your words caused the mask that covered Tony’s face to be exposed.

You stared into his eyes, feeling the energy burning inside you, feeling it building up in your hands, so you raised the palm of your hands without holding back, letting all that power come out and collide with the stealth lightning that Tony Stark let out of the palm of his hands. As if the two segments of energy were fighting a battle of their own they connected. With each draw of energy, exhaustion began to wash over you, knowing that you couldn’t last much longer than a couple of minutes in that situation. The clash caused sparks to reach each of the four sides of that corridor, denting the iron, melting it, but neither of you noticed.

At the third minute you pulled your hands away and threw yourself to one side so that its beam would not hit your body. Almost out of breath you dropped to the ground holding your palms up, Tony stopped the repulsor bolts of his gauntlets and turned his gaze upon you, but just as he took a step to approach you, a sharp, screeching noise caused you to change the destination of your gaze. What your eyes saw caused a nightmare to cling to your memory, the ceiling began to collapse, your exhaustion prevented you from creating a psionic field, your body became unresponsive and your mind locked. Your only institute was to close your eyes as tightly as you could, not knowing what was going to happen, but at that very moment when you heard how everything started to collapse, arms caught your body clutching it against a rigid chest and pulled you out.

So it was that once again a new failure was added to the list of your interventions. When you opened your eyes your body was lying prostrate in a corner of the main ship’s nave, where it had all started, but where there was no one left. The consumption of energy you had expended had left you without a shred of power within you. You looked up, your eyes a representation of the terror that had just reminded you of that moment, barely able to keep your breathing calm, and barely able to keep the words in your mouth when you saw Tony Stark’s face in front of yours again, before he looked away and walked away.

That was a turning point, for the next time you met Tony Stark face to face, you were on the same side. After the battle at Salvage Yard, the four of you, Ultron, the twins and you travelled to Seoul where Ultron’s true intentions were revealed. Ultron intended to create a genocide of humanity as a whole, he intended to create an enhanced body to dispose of his own. This horrified the three of you, causing you to flee from his power, causing Ultron’s wrath to prevail, creating a conflict in Seoul, in which the Avengers appeared. But the important thing in that was that the three of you joined the Avengers to save what had been your city, the place where you were born, Novi Grad.

You knew of Ultron’s plans for humanity, his intention was to create a device that would lift the city of Novi Grad into the sky, then drop it to Earth in a meteoric impact. On the way back to Sokovia, the place where it all began, a host of inexplicable feelings came to you, anger, shame, humiliation, hypocrisy… all related to your actions. Silence was present over the three of you, no conversations except those present to plan actions upon your arrival.

“Ultron knows we’re coming. Odds are we’ll be riding into heavy fire, and that’s what we signed up for. But the people of Sokovia, they didn’t. So our priority is getting them out, ” the words coming from Steve made you nod, keeping your eyes averted. “All they want is to live their lives in peace, and that’s not going to happen today.” You felt Tony’s eyes on you, you looked up to confirm it, but this meeting of glances made you uncomfortable, changing your position. “But we can do our best to protect them. And we can get the job done, and find out what Ultron’s been building. We find Romanoff, and we clear the field. Keep the fight between us.” He paused. “Ultron thinks we’re monsters and we’re what’s wrong with the world. This isn’t just about beating him. It’s about whether he’s right.“

Those last words crashed into you, you had been asking yourself the same question for weeks, you also needed to have an answer to it. So that’s how the end of the beginning began. You could never imagine what it would be like to see hundreds of people running through those streets again, the streets where you had grown up, where you had fought for your ideals and where you were now saving all those people so that the events you had experienced would never happen again. Each of you had a specific area, your mission was to guide the population to the safe side, protecting them from Ultron’s minions. Everything seemed to be going as assured, however time ran out, the ground began to crack, creating cracks, splitting the earth, causing an area of the city to rise into the air.

The terror of the scene brought you back to your childhood, you leaned against a building keeping your breathing as calm as possible and looked around you, the horror was present again, the screams of the people made a dent inside you, you closed your eyelids as tight as possible and put your hands to your head trying to erase that sound from your mind. Your back was slowly sliding down the wall until you were sitting completely on the ruins of the building.

“Hey!” Steve’s voice sounded close to you. “Are you okay?” his question barely got an answer from you, you felt his hand resting on your shoulder. “Hey, look at me. Are you okay?” you opened your eyes again and with a terrified look on your face you nodded, looking for the strength to face it. “I need you, those people need you, I know this is crazy, I know you’re terrified, but so are they.” You looked around you contemplating the massacre. “You can help them, they are your people.”

Again, Steve’s words gave you the courage you needed to find the calm within yourself, stand up and do everything you could to stop those robots that Ultron had built and turned into his allies. You knew what your mission was, you had a mission now and you couldn’t let it paralyse you.

“Stark, you worry about bringing the city back down safely. The rest of us have one job: tear these things apart. You get hurt, hurt 'em back. You get killed… walk it off.”

The population was congregated in a specific point of the city, there was no solution to evict them if that part of the city did not come down and land again, until a ship, the Helicarrier, appeared between the clouds to create a solution to one of your problems, the eviction of the population. Now all that was left to do was to get that piece of land back in place.

“Avengers, time to work for a living,” Tony announced over the intercom. While the population was getting to safety in the boats, you as a whole had gathered at the church in Novi Grad, where Ultron had located the core, or rather the button, with which he would bring the city down, destroying all of humanity.

“What’s the plan?” you asked, confused by the situation.

“This is the drill. If Ultron gets a hand on the core, we lose,” Tony replied pointing to the vibranium contraption in the centre of the shattered dome.

In front of you hundreds of robots captained by Ultron approached without stopping their pace. You sucked air into your lungs, awaiting the arrival of one of the most crucial moments of your existence, perhaps the most crucial, for in a few hours you could possibly be extinct along with humanity.

“This is exactly what I wanted. All of you, against all of me,” Ultron also had his plan and that was. “How could you possibly hope to stop me?”

“Well, like the old man said,” Tony looked at each of you. “Together.”

The battle for survival began. You thought the previous battles you had fought were the ones that could change the course of your destiny, the ones where you had faced Tony Stark, but you couldn’t have been more wrong, that was nothing compared to what you were going through right now. Each of you was part of that team, your energy was renewed every time you used it because you were fighting for a reason, the strength in you shone through. You were all a team and you were getting through this together. One by one Ultron’s robots fell, until there were none left standing, but it wasn’t over.

“We gotta move out. Even I can tell the air is getting thin. You guys get to the boats, I’ll sweep for stragglers, be right behind you,” Steve asked just after the last robot was down.

“The core-” began Tony after he had bared his face, but you barely let him finish his words.

“I’ll protect it,” you said firmly, giving a slight nod to yourself, “it’s my job.”

Tony connected his eyes with yours offering you a slight nod, just before he covered his face again and flew away. “I’ll stay with you,” added Wanda to whom you offered a faint smile before everyone disappeared from the scene and Pietro was ordered to return to you once everyone was in the boats. Everything seemed to be going according to plan, only a few straggling robots were presenting themselves to you with the intention of overthrowing your mission, but something happened. You felt your friend’s body collapse right behind you, you turned your head and saw Wanda’s face distorted, your eyes widened in confusion as she began to utter a scream that made your eardrums ring. She fell to her knees, causing her powers to spiral out of control in the crash, destroying every element in her path, so you had to create a force field around yourself in the hope that you would be unaffected. Your thoughts began to connect, trying to find an answer to his attitude, and you found it. Pietro.

You both walked through the streets, but she scattered within minutes Wanda disappeared in search of Ultron, leaving you there, but there was no one left to fight with, or fight for. It was at the very moment you questioned the functionality of your existence that Novi Grad plummeted thousands of feet into the air, offering you the answer to your question. Your eyes closed but you were no longer afraid, on the contrary, you had been able to find peace, everything came to an end in the same place where it all began. But as if someone had been watching over you, you felt arms holding your body and slowing down the frantic rhythm of the plummeting fall. You opened your eyes and found yourself being held by Iron Man’s armour.

“ I got you,” he said flying in the opposite direction, managing to dodge the ruins of that city. “Now Thor!”

A new turning point that changed the course of your actions and your destiny lay before you. Despite your best efforts, nearly 120 lives were lost during the Battle of Sokovia, including that of Pietro Maximoff. It was a before and after, symbolising the power of war and what could be its fatal consequences. For you it was a judgement, a learning experience, feeling guilty for much of what had happened, for helping HYDRA, for helping Ultron, to elaborate his actions. Your guilt led you to rethink your future, the course of new events led you and Wanda to a new country. You arrived in the United States, welcoming the New Avengers Facility as a new home. Offering you a roof to sleep under, training for your powers and a new family, though you didn’t feel that way at first.

You spent many hours in search of solitude, at the end of that green esplanade, when the tall oak trees were beginning to remind you of home. It was one afternoon in the first week, when you were still adjusting to it all, and you found yourself reading, leaning against a tree trunk.

“Hiding?” Tony’s voice pulled you out of your reading. “Oh, Sylvia Plath, great,” you looked at him, but offered no response, so he opted to sit awkwardly right in front of you on the grass. “Listen, we haven’t had much time… you know,” he took off his sunglasses and shrugged. “I’ve been looking through the files and … I know what happened to you… with your parents.”

“You know,” you said with a raised eyebrow, putting the book aside. “Do you also know what happened to the other thousands of people or do you only have a file on me and a file on Wanda and Pietro?”

The confidence in your voice was at odds with the insecurity Tony was showing, so when you saw him turn his head to the right side as he crumpled his face you opted to do what you had been thinking about for the last few days, call it a day.

“Listen. I’ve spent many years imagining what it would be like when I had you in front of me,” you began to say calmly, keeping your gaze fixed on your fingers as Tony watched you with his head cocked to one side, listening to you intently. “In what I was going to tell you, in the way I would let you know the pain I felt inside, because to me you were to blame for everything bad that had happened to me,” you paused, took a breath and thought about what you were going to say next. “But the moment I had you in front of me I didn’t say anything I had planned to say, I let my anger and pain guide me, and it didn’t do any good. The same thing happened the second time, and the third time it was pointless because there was something much more important to fight for.”

“I…” Tony interjected.

“Please, let me finish,” you cut him off, causing Tony to nod and turn his attention back to you. Sadness clouded his features. “So now I have you in front of me again I just want you to know that I have realised that…” you paused causing Tony to make a slight gesture of approaching you, but when you started to speak again he stopped. “I have no intention of you bearing my ghosts, but I need you to know that I spent two days under the rubble waiting for Stark to kill me,” your voice cracked, and Tony’s eyes reddened. “Watching your name light up on the side of that missile every time that flashing red light illuminated the darkness, hearing that beeping sound that I still can’t erase from my mind, terrified that my breathing would cause that bomb to detonate because my limbs could barely move.”

For the first time you raised your face to meet wide open brown eyes, reddened and unable to hold your gaze for long. Tony’s face was pale during those moments, his body was no longer upright and he was nervously running his hand over his lips.

“With that said, it only remains for me to let you know that I will not let the hatred and vengeance of a ten year old consume me,” you looked back down at your hands, allowing Tony’s eyes to fall on you again. “I’ve seen the power that resentment brings with it, I don’t want that for myself,” you connected your gazes. “Then I suppose I must forgive you in order to move forward.”

Silence. Silence flooded the room leaving heavy breaths in the air that symbolised the tension of the situation you were both experiencing for the first time right now. There was no right answer to everything you had said, it was clear to you that Tony didn’t know how to act at that moment. You sat cross-legged on the damp grass, watching him, seeing how he couldn’t hold your gaze since you had explained that you saw his name reflected in that missile. Yet he fought against it and focused his brown eyes on yours.

“I promise you…” he began stiffly, but again you cut him off.

“Tony, don’t promise me anything,” your voice was soft, as if you were talking to a small child.  "Please.“

After your denial of his action, he only nodded. He merely nodded as he intertwined his fingers and began to fidget restlessly with his left leg.

"Then I don’t know what you want,” his tone offered an enormous insecurity marked by nervousness.

“That’s the point. I don’t want anything, Tony,” you said without fidgeting.

“All right,” he nodded confusedly, rising quickly but awkwardly from the grass in an attempt to get away from the situation. “So… I hope it’s all to your liking.”

With that said, he turned his back on you and left the same way he had come. Leaving you under the shade of that oak tree with Sylvia Plath.

Now, too much had happened since then, much of it was why you found yourself in Wakanda trying to juxtapose all that had happened, but what you didn’t know was that on that placid morning when you went for a walk along the banks of that small riverbed, Shuri and T'Challa would come to inform you that he was there and that he had asked to speak with you.

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[punkpanda16]

Mistakes and Miracles ch. 16

Yoongi x Reader

Word count: 3.2k+

Summary: We never know what to expect in life . Just like you never expected to be a single mother at a young age, much less come to find the father of said child is no other than you idol Min Yoongi from the worldwide hit sensation BTS. What will happen to your somewhat “normal”  life when he comes in and turns it upside down? Will you be able to raise a child with your extremely attractive bias?

Warnings: use of bad language

Type: Fluff, angst

Your POV

Leaving behind someone you love is not easy. It is even harder when your son spends hours crying because he misses his dad.

Being a parent has taught you life is an internal battle of decision making. A part of you really needed to do this for yourself. No matter how much you loved Yoongi or Little Min, you still wanted to do some things for yourself. To some this may seem selfish but, you knew dating someone or even becoming a mother should not take away from your identity. Your family, your friends, and your life back home are a large part of that.

You loved Yoongi but, from now on things were not going to be simple. You choose your son and Yoongi. And at the same time Yoongi’s life chose you.

No matter how hard it would be with the media, fans, and his career, you did not want this new life to completely destroy you. You had seen many devastating examples of what this life of fame could do to idols or to those around them who were simply rumored to be close them.

When you arrived home and began to settle into your old life, you realized how much you missed it. It was those little things we tend to forget about and take for granted. Things like simply going out to dinner without feeling like you have to be on guard the entire time. Things like seeing your friends or taking Alexander for walks without being covered up or followed by security.

Moments like today. A wave of guilt and sadness hits you as you push Alexander on the swings. His giggles fill the air as you make faces at him every time he swings back to you. You see his little eyes light up as he goes up and down. These beautiful moments you wish you could enjoy more often.

Yoongi did everything in his power to keep those around him happy and safe, especially his son. However, the constant fear of someone hurting Alexander can make it hard for him to enjoy moments like this in peace. This is where the guilt and sadness stems from.

He does everything he can to ensure a bright future for his son but in doing so he gives up doing everyday things with his family and friends.

This brought back a memory of the first time he began to open up to you.

~Flashback~

You sat in the studio lulling Alexander to sleep as you listened to Yoongi work. A soft melody fills the air making you sleepy as well. When your head begin to drop you felt it was best to move Alexander to the crib Yoongi had installed in the studio for him.

He had it custom built to look like a piano with the keys painted on the side as well as, a mobile with hanging music notes. When you turned it on it would play piano versions of their songs like "I Need You" and "Butterfly. " He even moved some of his equipment to fit it right next to his desk.

Sometimes you couldn't help but think how lucky this baby was to have a father like Min Yoongi.

“You can go home and get some rest. I’ll be here a few more hours but I’ll take him home as soon as I am done. That way you won’t have to worry about moving him or him waking you later.” He said softly, making sure he doesn't wake your sleeping baby.

“I’m his mother. Even if he’s sleeping right next to me, I worry. I mean before I had your guys' help I spent every moment I could with him and look at what happened.” You say with a sad smile as you remember all those nights you saw your son in the hospital. How small and vulnerable he looked connected to all those machines. No matter how many months pass it still scared you how close you were to losing him.

There were a few moments of silence before he spoke again. “I am worried and afraid all the time.” He says as he looks longing at his little boy.

“Rapper Man is afraid?” You tease with a smile. The sweet smile he shows you in return makes your heart swoon.

“Yes, I am afraid. I also feel sad and guilty and mad… You know like normal human beings.” He jokes back.

“I know but you always look like you keep it together.” You say softly.

“Well in this world there is nothing else I can do to not break down.” He says sadly.

You sit back down as you face him. You watch his soft features as he keeps his eyes on his sleeping baby.

“You know..” he says as he turns his attention to you. “You are one of luckiest people I know.”

“Really?” You say a surprised. “Well I guess it is not everyday you not only meet your idol, but raise a kid with them. This life of luxury with you guys is what I’m sure many ARMY would kill to experience even if it is just for a day.” You say with a small smile.

“No. T-that’s not what I mean.” He says with a frown. “I’m not talking about the luck of us meeting or the luck of being brought into this “idol life” with me.” He says as he watches you with his catlike eyes. The sadness in them makes your smile drop.

“O-oh I’m sorry I didn’t mean it to sound like I was using you for money or fame or anything. I’m meant as in-" You begin to panic a little.

You never wanted to make him or any of the boys feel used. They were genuinely your family. It never mattered if they were idols or not. You loved them for who they were outside of the spotlight.

“Hey it’s okay I know what you mean.” He reassures you with a smile. “You're not like that. Despite how I treated you when we first met, I know you now. You would never do that to me or the rest of the guys or our son.” Every time he said our son it made butterflies dance in your stomach. It felt like love, adoration, and home all wrapped up in one.

“I mean you are lucky to be you. You, as in a normal person. Some one who doesn’t feel the weight of all this on your shoulders.” He says as he gestures to the things in his room.

“You could leave right now. You could pack up everything including our son and leave. And I couldn’t stop you.” He says sadly.

“Yoongi, please. One, I would never take him from you and two, I know first hand, you would fight anything or anyone who tries to take that sweet little man from you.” You reassured him.

“I would never fight you.” He says as he looks into your eyes.

“Don’t be silly, you know you would do anything for him.” You say with a smile. You try to keep up a happy expression in order to keep the conversation light, but you have a feeling this is going somewhere deeper and emotional.

“That’s why I wouldn’t fight you if you decided to leave me and take him with you.” He says in a serious tone, one you've only ever heard him use with the boys. Mainly, with Jungkook when he gets into trouble.

“What?” Your face is now matching his.

“You heard me. If you left and took him, I would let you. I wouldn’t gather a legal team. I wouldn’t let the boys contact you. I wouldn’t even contact you. I would just make sure you both are financially secure.” He explains.

“Are you- what? Are you okay? Where is this coming from? This isn't like you.” You asked with worry in your voices.

He lets out a small chuckle. “This is totally like me. You said yourself I would do anything for him. And I would do anything for you. If never seeing me again is what keeps both of you safe and happy, then I would do it in a heartbeat. You- you don’t know what it’s like to be here.” He said as he pointed to himself.

“Well I’ve lived with you and the boys for a few months. I think I can get some sort of idea.” You try to reason.

“No. Well yes, maybe you know some of it. But it’s the inner pain and frustration. You had some time to live a somewhat normal life in your teens and early adulthood. Granted being a mother young, especially the way it happened to you, isn’t what many go through. But even then, that time before you met me, you had a life. You had friends you could go to dinner with and you had your family whenever you needed them. You could make mistakes and learn from them without having thousands of eyes watching and judging you.” He stops to take a breath before continuing.

“I want him to have that. I want him to grow up like we did. No flashing lights or interviews or scandals. I want him to have real friends. I want him to feel safe enough to run in a park. I want him to just be a kid.” He says. “I don’t want the world to be on his shoulders too.”

You sit there processing his words for a moment. “You know I am very lucky. I did get to have all of those things. And yes, you have a point, I will never be in your place and feel all the hurt you feel. But, in certain ways I can understand. I mean going out with friends and living a “normal life” was me at one point. Now, I look back and that feels like a whole other lifetime. Ever since that little one came into my life… his whole world has been on my shoulders. No matter how hard I try it never feels like enough.” You say with a frown.

“But, you know what is enough.” You say as you look him in the eyes. “You. Us. This family that we build for him. That kid is going to have the best chance at happiness because you are his dad. And he has uncles that will be there to guide him as well. It’s different and definitially not easy but if anyone can raise him... it’s you. Honestly, you don’t even need me, you're the best dad in the world.” You say with a small laugh.

“Haha. Don’t say that. I... We need you.” He says with a shy smile.

~Present~

You’re brought back to reality by a ding from your phone.

From Yoongi (2:23 pm) : Hey beautiful. I just wanted to check in. I know we talked like an hour ago but I miss you and Little Min. Give him a kiss from me please. I also send you kisses, don’t think I forgot.

From Yoongi (2:25pm) : Also, there’s something we need to talk about. Don't worry too much about it. It’s just something we need to talk about as soon as possible.

You don’t know why but his message made your stomach turn. Yoongi is typically a very direct person. He doesn’t bring important things up through messages like this. He will always just call or say it face to face.

You felt it best to just get home and put Alexander down for a nap before you call him back.

“Alright my little man. Let’s get go-"

Your words die in your throat and the world seems to go into slow motion as you see someone you thought you’d never see again approaching.

If your stomach was upset before you could definitely throw up at this moment.

“Hi. Can we talk?”

Yoongi’s POV

He knew sending that message was going to have you thinking about every possible negative scenario for the rest of the day. He didn’t want to worry you but he also didn’t want to blindside you the next time you talked over the phone.

It all started when you two hung up earlier. You had mentioned that you were taking the baby on a walk after lunch. He felt it was a great idea seeing as his son didn’t get to go out in public as often now that the media knew of his existence.

He had obviously offered to send security with you but you wanted to just be alone with your family. The less attention you drew to yourself the better. That he understood, but he still worried. He trusted you and knew you would never put Alexander at risk on purpose. Plus, if anything were to happen he could always make some calls and get you security right away.

As he went back to work after your call ended he heard a knock on his door.

“Hold on, it's locked. I’ll open it.” He closed the file he was working on and went to open the door.

On the other side he found Namjoon, Jimin, and Teahyung standing there. Their faces held small signs of worry. He didn’t think too much of it. The comebacks always had all of them on edge. They were probably just tired and missing their nephew.

“Come in.” he says as he opens the door for them. They all file in as he goes back to the computer.

“Good thing you guys are here. I have this beat and I just can’t-" he tries to explain until he’s cut off.

“Hyung…. umm we need to talk about something. Look, don't worry we already talked to the mangers and they-" Jimin starts to ramble nervously until Namjoon put his hand on his shoulder to stop him.

“What’s going on?” Yoongi asks as he finally faces them.

“We got some news about Alexander’s birth mom. And we need to talk to you first before we get the team together.” Namjoon says sadly with tears pooling in his eyes. Now that he looks at his friends more clearly he notices Taehyung and Jimin both have red eyes too, a clear indication that they’ve been crying.

“Y-you. What? No! No that’s not possible. She is gone. Why? What does she want?” Yoongi says as he stands. He is practically yelling at his point as his blood beings to boil.

“Is it money? Does she she want fucking money?!! Just give it to her. I don’t care what she asks for, give it to her!” He can feel the fear and anger create a knot in back of his throat.

“Hyung, let’s sit down and talk for a second, okay.” Taehyung suggested. They all move to couch where Yoongi tries to calm his breathing.

This can’t be happening. After everything this can’t be how he loses his son.

“So what does she want? Tell me. I’ll give her anything’s so she can just get out of our fucking lives for good.” He says angrily. The boys all look at each other unsure what to say next.

“The problem is we don’t know.” Namjoon says as he looks away as if he ashamed of his answer.

“Y-you don’t know?!! How could you not know?! This is my son… MY SON, your nephew need I remind you, we are talking about and you don’t even know what that bic- what that woman wants to leave us the fuck alone!” He yells out of frustration.

“Hyung, you need to calm down. She didn’t ask for anything, all she said was she wanted to meet you and Y/N to have a talk. She wants you to bring the baby too.” Jimin explained nervously.

“She must be fucking crazy to think I'd let her anywhere near them.” He responds as he stands up and begins to pace around the room. At this point he just wants to break everything. All the work on controlling his anger seems to be forgotten at this very moment

“You have to.” Namjoon says with anger in his voice. He stands up and walks toward Yoongi.

“I don’t have to do shit. Alexander is my son and Y/N is my girlfriend. I will do what I think is necessary to protect them. And that woman has brought nothing but pain to both of them.” He spits with venom in his voice.

“We don’t have a choice!” Namjoon yells back. They are practically face to face now. Taehyung and Jimin get ready to intervene if necessary.

“What do you mean we don’t have a choice? Of course we do. Tell her to go fuck herself. She gave up the right to see my son the moment she walked out on him.” Yoongi continues to yells but steps away from his friend in order to break some of the tension they were creating.

“She said she’ll sue us and go public if you don’t meet with her.” Namjoon responds. That was enough to shut him up immediately.

The public had come to not only accept Little Min, but absolutely adore him. Obviously, rumors and questions about how he came to be circulated, but the company made sure to keep most of that story private. It was never to lie to fans, rather to keep Alexander safe and away from scandal. If the media were to find out now about everything it would not just be the end of just Yoongi’s career but the end of BTS. A scandal like that they could not recover from.

“I c-can’t do it to my son, but I especially can’t do it to Y/N. I know she has told me not to hate that woman but I know deep down if she saw her again it would hurt her.” He said sadly.

“Hyung, you know we love Y/N like family. But, we have to think about everyone. We would never put either of you or Little Min in a position where you would be hurt. If you say yes to this meeting, we will focus on setting everything up. Everything will be on your terms.” Jimin explained.

“If you say yes, then we will make sure it happens when and where you want it, Hyung.” Taehyung says as he hugs his friend tightly.

“And if I say no?” He asks in a broken voice.

“Then...we have to talk about our options.” Namjoon says seriously.

“Can I have sometime to think about it? It’s not just my decision to make. I need to talk to Y/N.” He says as tears finally roll down his cheeks.

“We can give you a few hours. But we need to act fast. Try talking to Y/N as soon as possible.” Namjoon says as he leads the other boys out the door.

“We love you hyung. No matter what. We are here for you.” Jimin says as they leave.

He wanted to call you right away but you were probably still at the park. He didn’t want to ruin that time you were spending with Alexander so he decided to just message you. He decided it would be best to just call you once he gathered his thoughts.

[yandere-daydreams]

A Yandere!Satan/OC piece for a lovely anonymous commissioner and her MC, Alice. I forget how fun it is to work with more... composed characters, sometimes, if only because of how *brutally* they tend to break. I’d like to think Satan is no expectation. 

Word Count: 2.0k

TW: Unhealthy Mindsets and Relationship, Loss of Autonomy, and Violence (Choking). 

Anger was a dark feeling.

Satan had never been the type to be bothered by isolation. He’d never minded being alone before, and he didn’t mind it now, but he couldn’t help but feel… off, about his current arrangement. Not bad, not awkward, just ever-so-slightly out of place. As if there were a million places he belonged, but tucked into a quiet corner of his favorite coffee shop was no longer included on that extensive list.

Or, it wouldn’t be until they left, rather.

He couldn’t help but grit his teeth, his fists clenching unconsciously around the book in front of him. It was one of his most prized, an untarnished first-edition copy of a spellbook he’d been meaning to have a look at for ages, but he couldn’t care less about the dents that’d be left in the flawless cover, right now. He wanted to slam the goddamn thing against a wall, he wanted to tear out the pages, he wanted to destroy something, demolish something, and he didn’t care what it was. The anger was as familiar as it was volatile, brought to a simmer by the slightest of agitations, Satan’s refined sense of self-restraint being the only barrier stopping his emotions from boiling over. Still, every little factor served as a new test, a new trial. Another thing he shouldn’t have to keep himself from reacting to.

And it was all because of them. Alice, and the bright, beaming smile pulled across her lips, and Asmodeus, and the arm he had draped across her shoulders, keeping her pulled against his side as they giggled over jokes he didn’t know and spread rumors only shared in hushed, hidden whispers. It wasn’t an uncommon sight, not really, but this was different. It wasn’t a party he’d only hesitantly been invited to or conversation he’d had to overhear from the other side of a wall, no, this was more personal, a direct upfront. Even if neither person in the duo seemed to notice his presence.

Alice, in particular, seemed distracted. He hadn’t gone to any extreme lengths to catch her attention, but he wasn’t supposed to have to. She’d plagued his mind since her arrival, kept him up at night with feelings he didn’t recognize, feelings he didn’t care for. He had to deserve some of her attention, he’d earned it. He wanted it, and it wouldn’t be right to deprive him of something Satan was close to considering a necessity. The rational part of him knew she didn’t feel the same way, that her eye would always be caught by someone more outgoing, someone more energetic, someone less… like him, even if she insisted that all she wanted to be was his friend.  But, the rational part of his mind had been forced into a cage and poked with something sharp until it agreed with the overwhelming vexation of its torturer.

Satan forced himself to sigh, to smile and exhale as he watched the pair gather their drinks and exit, never sparing a glance in his direction. It was agonizing now, but it wouldn’t be, soon enough. He wouldn’t have to deal with Alice’s refusal to acknowledge him or her avoidance or defiance.

Not if the book in his hands was put to good use, anyway.

~

Alice didn’t like small spaces.

Usually, Satan’s bedroom didn’t bother her, but the shelves felt too close together, today, the door too far and every surface too cluttered for her to find any sort of comfort among the heirlooms and novels and trinkets. It could’ve been how few people were in the house, the halls uncharacteristically quiet, or how restless she’d been all day, the reason indiscernible but her excess energy undeniable. It could’ve been the weather or the silence or…

Or the feeling of Satan’s teeth in her neck, and the overwhelming, overpowering feeling that they shouldn’t be there.

Somewhere along the line, she’d gone from lingering in the doorway to leaning against a stone table, her thighs pressed into the cold, rough surface as sharpened nails dug into her hips, keeping her in place as she squirmed. Satan proved to be a sturdy barrier, blocking out much of the rest of the room, forcing Alice to focus on blonde hair and soft clothes and anything but the chapped lips currently pressed to her jugular. She couldn’t remember how she’d gone from politely returning a borrowed, abbreviated Necronomicon to this, but she didn’t think it mattered. Her memory had been fuzzy all day, but she had more pressing issues to deal with, right now. More pressing perverts to deal with.

Alice was pulled out of her daze by a nip to her jaw, his teeth brushing against her skin playfully, but his hold too crushing to be light-hearted. Her arms were wedged between their chests in a matter of seconds, shoving him away, but Satan barely stumbled a step back before regaining his territory. He went for her neck again, seemingly intent on marking everything above her collarbones, but she was quick to take him by the shoulders, keeping him just far enough to earn a scowl and a glare, although both were masked as swiftly as they were brought on. She choked down the temptation to groan, rolling her eyes as subtly as she was able to instead. Why was he trying to act so indifferent now?

“Get off of me,” Alice demanded, doing her best to keep her voice neutral. It was harder than it should’ve been. “I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with you, but get off of me. You’ll be lucky if I don’t tell the others about this.”

Satan didn’t even bother shaking his head, replying nonchalantly. As if he was only half-listening. “That’s not going to happen.”

“Yes, it is.” She tried to match his practiced intensity, her next push a little stronger. She couldn’t fight him, not physically, but he’d never stopped her before. He’d never tried to, at least. “We’ve had this talk already. I’m just not interested.” Not if he was going to act any colder than he already did, when their relationship was only platonic. “There’s nothing you can do to change my mind, and I don’t want to hear you try.”

She didn’t doubt that Satan heard her, the grimace painted across his lips was proof of that, but if he was listening, he didn’t seem to feel the need to show it. He leaned forward, aiming for her shoulder, fangs already bared and poised to attack. “You’re a smart girl.” His voice was muffled by her skin, the resulting revibriation more off-putting than it should be. “You should be smart enough to figure out I don’t care how interested you are, anymore.”

With that, she lashed out. Satan flinched away reflexively as she drove her heel into his foot, another shove throwing him off balance, letting her get enough distance between the two of them to slip out from under him. She didn’t attempt to apologize or ask if he was alright, only glancing over her shoulder once to make sure he was still bracing himself on the tabletop as she started towards the door. She should tell Lucifer, or Lord Diavolo, even. This wasn’t the first time he tried something so desperate, and she was sure it wouldn’t be the last, not if she didn’t make it clear there’d be repercussions. It was a miracle she’d ever liked him at all, looking back on it.

Satan spoke just as fingertips brushed against the door-handle, cutting through the air like a dull knife. “Stop.”

She didn’t want to stop. Stopping now would be idiotic, Alice scoffing at the thought alone. She tried to turn the knob, but her arm fell back to her side, limp and useless. Her feet felt like lead weights. The pact mark, Satan’s mark, burned on the top of her thigh, searing the skin it’d been dyed onto.

“Come here, Alice.”

She did. Her movements were mechanical, unenthusiastic, motivated only by the acidic feeling that she had to be moving. Alice came to a stop in front of him, her mouth suddenly dry and her mind feverishly searching for some hint at what was going on, but her attention was soon directed towards the smirk pulling at the corner of Satan’s lips, a palm coming up to cupping her chin, tilting her head back to meet his stare. “Such a smart girl,” He started, no longer bothering to hide his expression. “And yet, you leave yourself so vulnerable. Surely, someone warned you about how dangerous making a contract with a demon can be.”

She blinked, words suddenly taking a considerable strain to get out. “What’re you--”

“Humans are so weak-willed.” He cut her off without a trace of hesitation, his hold on her recentering, Satan pinching her cheek as his tone turned patronizing. She considered batting his hand away, but a wayward glare was enough to smother her thoughts of rebellion. “I really should’ve thought of this earlier. Reversing the nature of our agreement…” He trailed off, his free hand wandering to her thigh, slipping under the thin fabric of her skirt to idly trace the waning shape of her tattoo. “It didn’t even take a full hour. And now, you’re going to be perfect.”

She swallowed dryly, squaring her shoulders, her dread quickly numbed pure, unadulterated anger. “You’re fucking crazy--”

A fist was around her throat before she could finish, clenching and choking as he threw her against the table, her back taking the brunt force of the collision and her skull knocking against the unforgiving surface, black spots beginning to form on the edges of her vision. She tried to inhale, to catch her breath after it’d been forced from her lungs, but Satan only flexed his grip, something in her neck cracking under the sudden pressure. Full recovery wasn’t an option, her aggressor only allowing short, shallow, labored breaths, leaving her unsatisfied and itching to just get him away from her, the urge bordering on irrational. Instinctually, she clawed at his wrist, kicking at his chest and waist and anything she could reach, but the only reaction her defiance received as a deep, guttural growl, a flash of black and green serving as her only indication of Satan’s Rage. She could’ve looked, confirmed her theory and been done with it, but her eyes had shut the moment his wardrobe turned a little less colorful. She didn’t think opening them again would have many favorable results.

Still, she persisted, blind and breathless. She stopped kicking, though, her spirit diluted ever-so-slightly as a talon began to draw baseless patterns in her skin, just barely scraping over easily-punctured flesh. She didn’t want to know what would happen if he started to think she’d be better off without a pulse. “This isn’t a good idea,” She mumbled, the words as unplanned as they were hopeless. An appeal to his sense of logic, even if it came a few minutes too late. “Someone’s going to find out, and they will be mad. There’s no way this can end well for you, Satan.”

“I’ve thought about that.” For the first time, he chuckled, the noises stuttering and hitching before devolving into a full-blown laugh, one he couldn’t cover with a few fingers half-heartedly barred over his lips. He bowed his head, briefly, attempting to regain his composure, but his efforts were in vain, a crooked grin still splayed across his expression when he next met her eyes. “I’ve thought about, and I’ve decided I don’t care. I’ve had to wait so long, I’ve had to tolerate so much, I couldn’t care less what happens next. I don’t care. Do you know how good it feels to say that? I don’t care.” He sighed, the sound pleased, relaxed. As if every bit of tension in his body had been released with an exhale. “You don’t even know what you do to me, that’s the funny thing. You’ve just acting on your own, carefree and ignorant, not giving a single second of thought to how far you push everyone around you.”

Alice opened her mouth, but she was silenced by a flex of Satan’s fist around her throat, his grip turning all-but suffocating. Still, she couldn’t shake the feeling that this was gentle, compared to what he had planned.

“It’d only be fair if you face a few repercussions for everything you put me through, right?”

[stellar-alley]

Of Scales and Sea Glass

•Chapter 1•

 Next Chapter >>

(Summary: Eddie deals with the anniversary of his parent's death. After an intense tropical storm, he discovers something has washed up in his pool.)

Also shout out to @ambitiousskychild on tumblr for being my beta!

~

It’s just water.   You’ll be fine   God, why do you always worry so damn much?

“FUCK” Eddie groaned as he raked his hand through his hair. “Fuck…” He repeated, letting his voice trail off this time. 

It’s been a year, you should be over this by now . 

Sure it might’ve been a year, but that didn’t mean Eddie Kaspbrak was any less terrified of the ocean. Its endless blue and unexplored depths made Eddie want to be anywhere else. It didn’t help that the ocean was literally in Eddie’s backyard. All that he needed to know was that exactly one year ago today, that blue, those depths, took his parent’s lives, and that was enough to scare the boy shitless. Only now, on the anniversary of Sonia and Frank Kaspbrak’s death, did he finally decide to do something about it. 

Eddie stood about 50 feet away from his back porch, his feet in the sand and a towel wrapped over his shoulders. He watched the waves fall and crash over the sand. Tonight the weathermen were calling for a killer storm, which seemed oddly appropriate in the boy’s head. It was almost like his mother was giving him a sign. It was like her way of saying “Eddie-bear, go back inside! The world is dangerous, so stay in your room!” because that’s what she did. 

For most of Eddie’s life, he was fed placebos, convinced he had asthma, and practically forced to be straight. It was all his mother’s doings. Ever since her death Eddie has come to terms with all of his fake illnesses, he’s even been able to come out to his friends! Of course, they all accepted him and helped him whenever he needed it. He was really grateful for the losers he called his friends. 

Lighting struck in the distance, it sent a flash of light over Eddie’s face that caused him to shrink into his towel. The dark clouds that loomed overhead only caused Eddie’s heart to beat harder inside his ribcage. 

Thunder cackled soon after. Eddie’s eyes teared up as he looked up and into the waves, “I-I’m sorry,” He choked, barely able to get the words out. 

Eddie shuffled back into his oceanside house before the rain started, which was good cause when it rained, it poured. The first thing he did when he got inside was close all of the blinds, unable to look out into his backyard without his stomach-turning, the guilt was practically eating away at him. The last thing he saw as he closed the blinds were his pool, the water reflected the dark clouds that loomed overhead, creating a haunting atmosphere. 

The realization caused Eddie to sigh, “That’s gonna be a pain in my ass to clean.” Storms like these always brought the most random crap up from the bottom of the ocean, somehow all of it always ended up in Eddie’s pool. He didn’t even want the pool, he lived so close to the ocean, it was kinda useless. Well, aside from the days when it was too cold to swim in the ocean , that’s when he’d usually heat the pool up and swim in there instead. That was when he still swam. Now he hasn’t used that thing in well over a year. 

After Sonia and Frank passed, The Kaspbrak’s residence was passed down to their only child, Eddie. That house included an underground pool, a house way too big for one person, and an almost private beach that only he and his next door neighbours had access to. (His neighbours on the left never used it though. They were an elderly couple. Sometimes he’d find them sitting outside on the warm days, but they weren’t the outdoor type. His neighbours on the right had their yard fenced off). Eddie never used the pool but kept it clean for the days when his friends came over. They'd go swimming while he read in the shade. 

That night Eddie slept with his ear buds in, music on loud and the covers pulled over his head. He hated how scared he was of the water. He missed the way the waves made him feel. It was something he's never felt before, when he swam he was safe, and free. He's tried to overcome it, but nothing has worked. He'd need a miracle to convince him to get back into the water. 

 ~

Eddie woke up the next morning to the early morning sunlight streaming in through the cracks of his blinds. He mentally cursed out God for creating the sun before he turned over and shoved his face deeper into his pillow. After about 20 more minutes of internal complaining, Eddie finally dragged himself out of bed. His head was waterlogged, hazed by sleep. So when he opened the blinds to his back doors all he saw was a mass of sea shit that now crowded his pool. Instead of focusing on exactly what had washed up onto his property, he simply rolled his eyes and went to go back to breakfast. 

Eddie checked his phone, hoping it’d wake his mind up a little but he sighed as he realized he didn’t have any wifi. His realization brought a thought to the forefront of his mind. “Oh no…. No, no, no,” Eddie mumbled as he padded over towards the nearest light switch. “Fuck,” He leaned his head up against the wall when the lights didn’t turn on. This was something else that happened a lot when they were hit by a storm, the power goes out. 

After breakfast, Eddie got changed out of his pyjamas. He opted to put on an older black tee as he knew he’d be cleaning today. He pulled his iconic red shorts on and slipped on a pair of sneakers. He gathered up all of the cleaning supplies he had set aside for storms like these and set them out on his back porch. 

The morning air smelled of rain and salt. The temperature had dropped a couple of degrees from the previous day, which was refreshing, but it didn’t change the fact that Eddie had a whole yard to clean. 

First, he swept off the porch. He pushed all of the twigs, branches and sand onto the ground below. He noticed one of his neighbour’s palm trees had several fallen branches. That would explain the countless leaves that were scattered across his yard and filled his pool. 

After, he collected as much of the debris from the lawn as he could. Stuffing everything into garbage bags, tying them up, then carrying them to his front yard, where they’d sit until garbage day. Once he was in his front yard, he looked around at his neighbour’s lawns and saw they were all going through the same hell that he was. Everyone was out with garbage bins and shovels, cleaning up the mess the storm left behind. 

“EDDIE! HEY!” A voice called out to him. 

Eddie turned towards the voice and saw his neighbour to the right, Beverly Marsh. He was one of the lucky kids who conveniently lived beside one of his best friends. While the rest of their Losers Club lived no more than 20 minutes away, Bev and Eddie lived the closest, which made it easy for the group to meet up. Even if their meetups almost always ended up at Eddie’s house. 

When his mother was alive, she rarely let all of them come over, but now that she was gone, most of their summer break was spent in Eddie’s backyard, in the pool, on the beach, or in his basement watching movies. Eddie didn’t mind, he enjoyed the company. Especially since living alone got, well, lonely. So he made sure to soak up every moment he could get with his Losers. 

Eddie’s resting bitch face was washed out and replaced by a genuinely happy smile. “Marsh! How’s it hanging?” Eddie said in his best surfer bro voice. 

“It’s totally tubular,” She said, followed by a laugh. “How’s your place? No power?” She asked as she put down the bag she was holding and crossed her yard and onto Eddie’s. 

“Yeah, and my yard is a fucking mess. Don’t even get me started on the pool,” Eddie groaned at the thought.

A smug smile spread over Beverly’s lips, “It’s the days like these when I’m grateful I don’t have a pool. Can’t you just get the pool guys to come and clean it?” She questions. 

“I would but it’d cost me an arm and a leg. I’m just gonna clean then get someone to refill it. It’ll be fine,” He sighed. Eddie was gonna ask if she wanted to help but he lost his chance when Beverly’s aunt came outside. 

“Beverly! Oh, Hi Eddie. How are you doing?” She smiled at him. Beverly’s aunt Katherine was always nice to Eddie, she always helped him whenever he needed it, cooking meals and helping with bills. She was pretty great. 

“As good as I can be after a storm like this, crazy isn’t it?” He nods his head. 

“It really is, on that note, Bev, we should be getting back to work,” She said as Bev nodded. 

“I’ll see you later Eddie. Let me know if you get ahold of the rest of our rat pack, alright?” She winked as she slowly began to back away. 

“Yes ma’am!” Eddie saluted and returned to the backyard. 

He sighed. “No better time than the present, am I right?” He asked himself as he picked up the big net that was propped against the porch, then walked towards the pool.

The water had turned a dark green-grey. It didn’t smell too bad, which was a blessing as Eddie has a sensitive stomach and wasn’t in the mood of adding barf to his list of things to clean. He swept the net over the surface of the water for a couple minutes before noticing how there were a lot bigger pieces of debris than he had realized. 

Looks like we gotta break out the big guns  , Eddie left the net on the side of the pool and went to grab some rubber gloves and one of his big grey garbage cans. He stood at the edge of the pool and stared down at the water below him. It was different when he had the net, he barely had to lean over the edge, but now he was worried about falling in.  What if I lean in, fall, and drown, or get knocked unconscious and die? Eddie calmed his breathing down before it got a chance to pick up. 

“Okay, Eddie, you’re fine,” He let out a shaky breath. He ended up laying down on the pavement, flat on his stomach and stuck his arms over the edge, not daring to let anything below his neck hang over the edge of the pool. Slowly but surely he dragged most of the debris out and onto the pavement, which would then be put into the garbage, but right now he just needed to get everything out of the pool. Amongst the trash and green life he found in the water, he also fished out a pair of glasses, although they didn’t seem like normal glasses. First off, they were pretty big, but the lenses seemed oddly fogged and thick. Reminding Eddie of the sea glass he’s collected over the years of living on the coast. He set them aside and made a note to investigate them further once he was done here. 

After a couple of hours of hard work, Eddie stood over the pool and admired all of his hard work. Sure there was still a bunch of shit at the bottom of the pool, but he agreed to clean that out once the pool had been emptied. There had been a particular pile of debris off in the corner that caught Eddie’s eye. It seemed to be a pile-up of plants and what looked to be a fishing net. He walked over to that side of the pool and squinted down at the trash. Something was dimly shining beneath the pile of soggy algae that covered it. 

Maybe a fish got washed into the pool? Hm, poor dude, Eddie shrugged, about to walk away when the pile twitched ever so slightly, Eddie could have convinced himself he was seeing things, but something was telling him he wasn’t. Determined to see what it was, Eddie quickly grabbed the net and poked the pile of debris. He shied away after the first poke, then moved to poke it again. It twitched again. Eddie’s brow furrowed as he poked it again, a little harder this time. This time it shifted positions, allowing Eddie to see a little bit more of the creature that sat at the bottom of his pool. 

The shine came from scales, and there were a lot of them.  How big is this fucking fish? Oh shit- do I have a shark in my pool?! No dumbass, sharks don’t have scales…

Instead of poking it again, Eddie used the butt end of the net to try to move the debris off of the creature. He was able to push most of the algae aside, but the creature must’ve been tangled up in that damned net. The creature might not have been 100% visible, but he had a better view of it now. 

“Is that? No way…” Eddie began to speak to himself as he examined the creature. “That can’t be...” He said as he examined the part of the creature that looked like it had hair. Well whatever it had that looked like hair, it was inky black, it slowly swayed around-  A HEAD?   “WHAT THE FUCK!” Eddie shrieked as he began to stumble backwards. He stammered and wobbled. But suddenly, one of the bricks that lined the pool gave out beneath him, and he fell forwards. He fell into the pool with a big splash. 

He didn’t even have time to think, his mind was overtaken by panic. Eddie thrashed and splashed, he tried to pull himself to the surface but the water was blurring his vision, making it impossible to tell which way was up. He barely had time to take in any air as he was randomly tossed into the pool. So his lungs ached and his head throbbed. He wanted to scream out for help or stop moving just for a second, in hopes that’d he just float to the surface. But he couldn’t stop, his legs kicked wildly in the water, his shoes heavy on his feet and his clothes constricting his movement. 

He was too busy thinking about his own death to notice the pair of arms that’d wrapped around his waist. Eddie’s lungs began to  burn  , they begged for air, but Eddie knew that he was  not  going to let his mouth open. He refused to die the same death that his parents had. With that, his vision began to blur more than it already was. His mind hazed over and his thrashing minimized. His vision was dotted with black spots, due to lack of oxygen. 

I’m gonna die . 

~

Suddenly he was gasping for air. His lungs heaved as he spat up water and tried to breathe in as much air as he could. He rubbed the water out of his eyes. It took a moment for his gaze to clear, but once he did he realized he was sitting on the edge of the pool, his clothes soaked and his hair filled with leaves and dirt. 

What the fuck happened? How did I get here?  The questions overloaded Eddie’s mind as his breathing quickened, there was so much going on,  too much . 

The water beside him splashed, a light spray of water settled on him. He hesitantly looked over, hoping to see nothing, that he had dreamt it all up. But when he turned his head, he saw something drifting slowly towards him in the water. He hadn’t failed to notice how murkey the water had gotten. It’s green tinge now brown, and a little red. He didn’t even let himself think about what made it red. Eddie panicked and jackknifed, hastily shuffling backwards and away from the water. 

Eddie’s eyes were as wide as saucers, his eyebrows practically in his hairline. His breathing practically stopped as he watched the black hair he’d seen previously slowly poke up out of the water. Eddie wanted to get up and run, call the cops,  something , but he couldn’t. He was frozen in fear and anticipation. He couldn’t help that little bit of wonder that filled his head as the creature continued to come up from the waters’ surface. 

He watched as the head moved up just enough to reveal a pair of impossibly blue eyes. They stared back at him, partially covered by the black hair hanging in its face. Something about the eyes seemed hazy, almost as if they weren’t clear, they squinted for a moment before opening up wide again. 

Eddie could only muster a weak “hi,” as he stared at the creature before him. The blue eyes rolled and bubbles erupted in front of him. The head sunk back down into the water.

A splash caused Eddie to tear his eyes away from where the head once was, and look up. Further down in the pool he watched as a fish like tail splashed against the surface of the water. Half of its fin was covered in the fishing net. The rope digging into the scales. Eddie finally saw what was the cause of the red in the water. The net had various hooks still attached to it. They dug into the scales of the tail, causing it to leak red blood. Eddie’s stomach dropped. 

The tail splashed against the surface of the water again. It acted as a reality check for Eddie as he finally mustered the strength to stand up. Once he was on his feet, he wobbled momentarily before marching towards his porch. He didn’t look back as he closed his patio door. He kept walking until he was in his bathroom. 

He turned on the shower and waited until it filled the small room with steam. The boiling water practically burned all the dirt off of his skin. He was too caught up in his own thoughts to even realize he began thinking out loud. 

“There’s someone in my pool,” He started, his voice distant, “And a fish. A massive fucking fish.” He thought about the mess of hair he’d seen at the bottom of the pool. “No one can survive being underwater that long… No one, but not nothing.”

What if it wasn’t two things in my pool…  

He contemplated the idea for a second, “BUT THEY DON’T EXIST!” Eddie shouted in frustration, thrusting his fist against the ceramic wall of his shower. So many ideas floated through Eddie’s head, he hated it, he hated not knowing what was in his pool. And he hated the fact that the only idea that made semi sense, was that he had a fucking mermaid in his pool. 

“But they’re made-up. Stories, fairytailes.  Not real life, ” He countered, recalling movies like The Little Mermaid and Aquamarine. “But what else explains the tail?” He asked himself in defeat. 

Eddie turned the water to the shower off. His skin was red and raw, he could practically see the steam coming off of himself. He rested his forehead against the wall of his shower and tried to clear his head.  In and out… In and out  , he reminded himself as he took a couple minutes to just  breathe . 

After the hurricane in his head finally calmed down, he allowed himself to think back to what he’d seen outside. Careful to not open the dam of memories, he focused on the tail, the head, the water,  the blood . 

The poor thing is hurt , Eddie sharply inhaled. “Shit…” He recalled the net, and how it dug into the creature's tail. He shivered at the thought of what it must be going through. Then he remembered why he took the shower in the first place, he fell into the pool, and that fish thing, it saved him.

With a new game plan, Eddie finished up in the bathroom, got dressed, then got his fist aid kit and all the other supplies he needed. He went back outside, the sun beating down over his head as he stood on his patio and surveyed his backyard. A new level of determination filled the human. He was intrigued to find out what the hell was in his pool, and this was the best way he could find that out. 

He marched down and to the water’s edge, but all the bravery he had mustered died the moment he saw the creature floating on its front at the edge of Eddie’s pool. 

He raised his hands to cover his mouth, his eyes wide, “Fuck,” he cursed. His mind automatically assumed the worst,  death . But he tried to mentally assure himself that it had just passed out as he didn’t want to panic.

Eddie got down on his knees and carefully leaned over to grab the creature. He held his breath, worried about falling in, but he was able to pull the creature to the edge of the pool. He pushed it over onto its back. He wanted to inspect its face and features but Eddie needed to get him out of the water before those cuts got infected. 

Quickly, Eddie laid a towel down on the pavement beside the pool, worried about what the heat of the ground would do to the fish’s scales. When it came time to pulling the thing out of the water, he hadn’t thought about how much that fucking tale would weigh. He hooked his arms under the arms of the creature and tried to pull him out. He heaved and tugged. 

“Holy shit- you’re  so  fucking heavy,” Eddie gasped,  half way there , he thought to himself. All of the human part was out, and half of the tail, now all he had left was the rest of the tail and the monofin. Eddie took in one sharp inhale before he pulled the rest of it out in one final tug. He gasped as he suddenly landed on his back, the fish flopped down onto the towel beside him. 

Eddie didn’t take too long to recover, he was too interested in seeing what exactly he had just fished out of his swimming pool. He sat on his knees and surveyed the creature that laid uncious before him. 

It was indeed, a mermaid. 

The upper half of its body was made of pasty white skin, as smooth as a shark's skin. It shined in the afternoon sunlight. Its arms were long and fairly skinny with a little muscles. Eddie carefully lifted up one of its hands. He inspected it, noticing how there was an almost translucent webbing that connected his long and bony fingers. Then he let out a small gasp at the claws that laid at the edges of his fingers. They looked sharp, one swipe would surely draw blood. With that, he carefully laid the hand back down by its side. 

Eddie leaned forward a little to examine the creature's face. He lifted a hand, gently pushing some of the soggy hair out of his face. He frowned at the slash that ran across its cheeks, cutting through a wild pack of freckles. His pale skin allowed the freckles on his cheeks to shine like stars on a clear night. Eddie thought about counting them, like he had the stars, but he opted not to as he knew he had more pressing tasks at hand. He took one last glance at the face, allowing himself to soak in the mermaid's features in all its beauty. Yes,  beauty. Even Eddie couldn’t deny it, the creature was fairly beautiful. But now isn't the time for crushes, Eddie shook his head as he finally made his way down to the tale. 

Eddie examined its chest. It was fairly skinny, not malnourished, as in he could slightly see his ribs, but it wasn't too concerning. He noticed a couple bruises and various scrapes that would need to be disinfected. He followed the pale skin down. Suddenly Eddie’s brows furrowed together. The creature had no belly button. But if he had, then the scales would have started just below it. 

Now without the water blurring their colour, he was able to see the scales in all their glory. They were a pastel blue, some places darker than others, the shades varying as the tail continued. The tip of its monofin shined a sparkly silver that could give the real stuff a run for its money.

Finally, he got to his feet and overlooked  all of the creature’s injuries. Sure he had some scraps, cuts and bruises along the upper part of its body, but its tail got the worst of it. The net was tangled up in its monofin and dug into its scales, causing some of them to flake off. 

He raked his hands through his hair, tugging at the ends. “Fuck,” he sighed, realizing how much work he had to do. Without wasting any more time, he leaned over to the abundance of supplies he’d brought outside and grabbed the exacto knife to cut the net. Just as the blade popped out and Eddie leaned in, something cold and slimy grabbed his wrist. His body went cold, head snapping towards the mermaids. His eyes locked with the fish’s. The blues of his eyes were wide and determined. Eddie looked down and realized it was the hand with the knife. Quickly he grabbed the knife with his free hand and tossed it to the side. 

“Hey-Hey, it’s okay,” Eddie motioned his hands to show that they were empty and he meant no harm. Only then did the creature release Eddie’s hand, his head flopping back against the towel.  Eddie leaned over and saw that its eyes were still open, but they were hazed, almost unfocused. Eddie didn’t think too much of it, probably the salt water making him go blind or something. 

“Okay, I’m just gonna try to remove the net, alright?” He asked, but received no response. He leaned back over and pulled his bifocals out of his second fanny pack, then leaned back in and began examining the net. 

The mermaid’s head tilted upwards, it watched the human’s fingers traced along the edges of the net. Its eyes grew wide at the sight of the spectacles on Eddie’s face. 

Eddie noticed the movement and glanced over at the creature. He hummed lightly, wondering what it was looking at. The moment didn’t last too long as when Eddie leaned away from the tail, the creature lunged at him. Its arms out and claws sharp, its eyes filled with determination. Eddie shrieked and fell backwards, his hands flew up to his face. 

After a moment of heavy breathing, he realized he felt no pain. He slowly moved his shaky hands away from his face and looked up at the mermaid. He was surprised to see it carefully holding his bifocals. 

It held it in his hands as if they were so fragile they’d break. The creature slid them onto his face as if it was a second nature. The blue eyes blinked a couple times before its face scrunched up in confusion. It took the glasses off and held them once again in its hands. Now its face was filled with disbelief and worry. 

“What?” Eddie asked, unsure of what was happening. 

The creature looked up at the human with sad, hazy eyes. For a moment they just held eye contact, as if they were having a conversation with their eyes in a language Eddie didn’t understand. Then the creature held the glasses out towards Eddie with one hand, while the other pointed towards its own chest. 

Eddie’s face scrunched up, he hated charades. “What about the glasses?”. 

The creature pointed to itself once again. 

“Your glasses?” Eddie suggested, and the blue eyes widened to an impossible size. A new emotion spread over the fish’s face, excitement. “Yeah?” Eddie asked, and nodded. “Yeah!” Eddie said happily. “Yeah…” he repeated, this time with fear laced in his voice as he had no clue where its glasses were. 

Since when do mermaids wear glasses anyways? What the fuck?

“Wait- You can understand me?” It finally dawned on Eddie, he’d been talking to a mermaid, and it was responding… technically. 

Its eyebrows lowered and their glare became sharp, as if to say ‘ Yeah, so? ’, followed by a slow nod. Now it had used its free arm to prop itself up on it’s elbow so they were almost at eye level. 

Eddie smiled softly at the fish, his cheeks a little warmer than they were before. He nervously chuckled, “Oh, cool”. He rubbed the back of his neck, diverting his gaze around the backyard so he didn’t have to stare into those ocean eyes any longer. His sight landed on the pile of trash he said he’d sort through later that laid on his lawn and he noticed a piece of glass that shined in the light. 

Eddie gasped, he jumped from his sitting position up to his feet and ran to his pile of trash. He snatched the object up off of the lawn and ran back to the mermaid, practically falling down beside it. Eddie got situated on the ground, a wide smile on his face. He held them and carefully opened them up, without any further wait, he leaned in and slid the glasses on the mermaid's face. 

The fish was confused at first, unsure of how to feel about the human being so close. But the small boy didn’t give it much of a chance to react because before he could flinch, his vision cleared. Its hands moved up to its face and felt around, touching the glasses that they knew all too well. 

Finally being able to see clearly, it looked up at the boy in front of it. Its lips curved into a wide smile that got a little giggle out of the human. 

“So I guess those are yours?” Eddie asks. 

The mermaid nods proudly. The moment is cut short when a bolt of pain cuts through the fish’s tail, it grimaces and hisses.

Eddie tenses at the sound, “Oh shit! Sorry, but can I  please use the knife?” He beged, eyes wide and worried. 

The mermaid lies back down on the towel, eyes forced shut. It nods. 

Okay, okay, okay  . Eddie’s thoughts pick up at the thought of being so close to the creature. Not because it’s like- cute or anything,  no  , it’s because he doesn't want to hurt it.  Yeah, that’s why . 

Eddie gripped the exacto knife with enough strength to make his knuckles go white. His eyes skimmed over the net, deciding on where to cut. He found a spot he claimed to be a good start and began cutting. He sliced the net up and into pieces, slowly freeing the tail from its grasp. Soon enough he was just left with the pieces that had the hooks attached to them. 

“Sorry this is gonna hurt,” Eddie said before he carefully pulled the fist hook loose. The fish’s breathing hitched and filled with pain. “ Sorry!”  Eddie grimaced as he pulled another one out. This one leaked a lot more blood and the mermaids hand smacked around the ground, causing Eddie to jump at the sudden sound. It felt like it took hours to fully free the tail, but soon enough the deed was done. 

Eddie leaned back on his hands and tilted his head up towards the sun. “I’m sorry,” he breathed before looking back down at the mermaid. It sat upright now, carefully examining its tail. It reached out to touch one of the cuts. Eddie jumped into action and slapped the hand away. It hissed at Eddie. “Hey! Don’t do that, I’ve still gotta disinfect them, okay?” His tone grew impatient as he cracked open the first aid kit. 

His back began to ache from the hours he’d spent hunched over the blue tail, disinfecting the scrapes and bandaging the deeper cuts. He moved on to the upper half of the creature. 

“Tell me if this hurts, okay?” Eddie requested as the mermaid gave him a side eye look. Eddie began to slowly put pressure on different places on the fish’s chest, mainly the places with the bruises to see if- The mermaid let out a loud hiss. Eddie’s hands shot up and away as its claws came into view again. “Sorry! You have an injured rib, so that’s why it hurts. You won’t be able to move much until it heals,” Eddie explained, his mind going through the healing process when he realized it won’t be able to swim in this condition, and it certainly can’t stay on land in Eddie’s backyard. 

“Oh…” Eddie’s graze dropped, a sudden wave of fatigue washed over him as he realized what he’s gonna have to do. But before he allowed himself to think over the idea too much, he finished cleaning all of the cuts that needed it. 

“O-Okay, so I-um.... I can’t leave you here, and I can’t bring you back to the ocean cause you’re hurt and you need to properly heal. So i’m gonna bring you into my house and keep you in my bathtub, okay?” He rambled in hopes the creature understood what he was saying.  God, I sound fucking insane. This is insane! I can’t keep an oversized goldfish in my tub. But I can’t leave him out here… the pool guys are coming tomorrow and if they see him we’d be in so much shit- It’s the only way  . Eddie finalized his plan with a sigh.   

“You,” he pointed at the creature, “stay,” he demanded before he got up and went back inside. He ran upstairs and into the bathroom, flopped down beside the big bathtub, and began running the water. He set the temperature to warm then took a moment to catch his breath. 

Everything began to settle in. The mermaid, the scales, the storm, the future, the creature’s eyes, its freckles-  Okay, Eddie stop it. It’s a fucking sea creature, you can’t have a crush on it . He huffed and rolled his eyes at his gay thoughts. Eddie’s been out for a couple months now, to his mother's dismay, and he’s been happy. Sure he’s had a couple crushes before, but he’s never had one on a fish person… So he wasn't too sure what to think of that. 

The white noise created by the running water created a soothing atmosphere for the boy, and for a moment, he sat in silence and just  breathed . Though the moment was short lived, a low whale-like sound erupted from his stomach, reminding him about the fact that he hasn't had lunch yet. He looked down at his watch and saw it was already 3 pm. 

Holy shit, time flies when you're with a merman. If I’m hungry then imagine what it must be feeling, when was the last time it ate? What does it eat? Do I have anything to feed it? Okay let’s just focus on getting it inside first- Also? Finding a fucking name for this thing, I can’t keep calling it, well, IT!

Eddie shook all of the static out of his head and pulled himself to his feet. He turned the knob to the bathtub and turned the water off, he hoped the temperature would suffice, he’d find out soon enough. 

Going back to the mermaid in his backyard, he found it in the same place he left it, which was a relief. Still on its back, with an arm on its forehead to shade its eyes from the blaring afternoon sun. It sensed the human before he approached. It moved its arm and tilted its head to look up at the towering figure. 

“Hi again, so I need to pick you up to bring you inside. So you don't… die. Is that okay?” Eddie asked awkwardly. The creature simply shrugged, as if to say ‘Do what you need’. “Okay,  well , you need to help me out cause you weigh a fucking ton and I am not strong. So wrap your arms around my neck and don’t-don’t fucking eat me,” Eddie instructed as he got down on his knees, bracing himself for the weight he’d soon carry. 

The mermaid sat up. Eddie moved his hands underneath the tail, he didn’t wait for the mer to move its arms because he knew if he waited any longer he’d convince himself not to. So he sharply inhaled and lifted the mermaid up bridal style. He wobbled slightly as he gained his balance on his feet. The wobble sent a shiver down the mer’s spine, he jumped to wrap its arms around Eddie’s neck in fear of being dropped. 

The sudden motion made Eddie smirk. “Oh,  now  you do it,” he forced a small laugh. Eddie began to walk forward towards the house, each step harder than the last. 

When they got to the stairs, Eddie’s breath hitched when he went up the first stair, his arms almost gave out from beneath him. 

The mermaid shook and buried its face in the crook of Eddie’s neck. Eddie felt the glasses dig into his neck. With the sudden change of proximities,  the mer’s breath sent shivers down Eddie’s back, it was slow and warm. 

The muscles in his arms burned before he even started up the staircase to the second flood. “Fuck… me,” Eddie murmed, as if it was going to take away the fiery pain that ran through his body. 

Eddie was practically dragging his feet as he walked, unable to bring them up from the ground. His vision was set on the staircase in front of him, so he didn’t notice the one floorboard that was slightly higher than the others. The toe of his foot collided with the floorboard and they went toppling forward, hitting the floor with a big  thump . 

The creature let out a ear bleeding shriek as it fell, then pain erupted from its tail as it landed on the ground. Certainly the extra weight of a human on its torso didn’t help at all. 

Eddie was in shock for a moment, unsure of what had just happened. Looking around he turned and saw he was now face to face with the mermaid. Their eyes locked, both of them wild and concerned. Eddie snapped himself back into reality before he could get lost in the ocean eyes again. 

“I-I’m sorry.  Shit , I’m so sorry,” Eddie stammered, his body weak and his arms aching. He rolled off the creature and onto his back. “I’m sorry,” He croaked, the failure settling in. 

He didn’t move his gaze from the ceiling over his head. He didn’t want the mer to see his eyes as they filled with tears. Something cold rested on top of Eddie’s hand. Hesitantly, he dragged his eyes over to the creature beside him. The hand held onto his own as the mermaid’s lips offered a tight but comforting smile, as if to say,  it’s okay, really . Eddie shifted his hand ever so slightly so the mer’s hand fit more comfortably in his. The webbing that lined the fingers of the mermaid’s hand tickled Eddie’s. Its thumb rubbed slow circles over Eddie’s knuckles. 

“A-Are you okay?” Eddie whispered worriedly. 

The creature was in pain, for sure, but it nodded anyways, for the human’s sake. 

Neither of them were sure how long they stayed like that, hand in hand, breathing laboured and heavy, eyes on the ceiling. Although at some point Eddie’s arms felt a smidge better, and his breathing had returned. That’s when he knew he had to try again. 

“1....2...3!” Eddie lifted the mermaid off the ground again. It seemed just a little easier than last time. This time he kept his breathing steady, and kept his eyes going from the stairs in front of him to his goal, the bathroom. 

Once they stood in the middle of the upstairs hallway, Eddie took a minute and stood and caught his breath. He noticed the way the mer’s eyes drifted and examined his new surroundings. But something caught his eye and Eddie felt one of the arms slowly move away from his neck. Hesitantly he turned his head just in time to see the clawed hand reaching out for Eddie’s own little creature that sat in a fish tank that lined the hallway. It was his pet betta fish, Goldy. (He wasn't a creative kid, okay?).

“NO!” Eddie exclaimed, almost dropping the mermaid again. The sudden motion caused the arm to wrap back around Eddie’s neck in fear of being dropped. “Do  not  eat my goldfish. She is a friend, not fucking food,” he practially growled. 

The creature shrank away, not a fan of the tone Eddie had gained. As much as it wanted to lean  away  from the boy who just scolded him, it leaned  into  Eddie, it liked the warmth his skin gave off. It curled a little deeper into his touch, putting his chin on top of his shoulder and nestling into the side of his face. 

Eddie got the mermaid settled into the bathtub and immediately noticed a change in its mood. Suddenly its eyes had a new sparkle to them and his lips were always semi smiling. 

Eddie sat on the closed toilet seat and took in the sight before him.  A mermaid in my bathtub… This’ll be one hell of a diary entry  . “So! I-er, I hope this isn’t rude, but are you a girl or a boy? I know you don’t have boobs but I really don’t know how this whole  mermaid  thing works,” Eddie stopped himself before he kept rambling. 

The mer lifted two fingers in the air.  Two, second, second option. “Boy?” Eddie tilted his head. The creature nodded. He sighed in relief, “Good, good… I-I’m Eddie by the way.” The creature nodded again then ducked his head down into the water and blew bubbles up at the human. Eddie huffed in amusement at the gesture. 

The human’s stomach rumbled again. He rolled his eyes in response. He didn’t even bother telling the mermaid- merman? Merman. He didn’t bother telling him he was gonna leave cause the mer looked like he was having the time of his life blowing bubbles down under. Once he was in the kitchen, Eddie tried to be quick, opening up every cupboard and checking everywhere for food fit for a fish. The only thing he came across that seemed semi-suitable were fish sticks. Eddie eyed them for about half a minute before ripping the bag open, throwing them into a container then shoving it in the microwave. He made himself a quick sandwich, cheese and ketchup (That was the most unhealthy food Sonia ever let Eddie eat so let him be). He’d barley chewed his first bit before the microwave beeped. He held the sandwich in between his lips and held the container with both hands, moving it between the two cause it was hot. 

Once he was back in the bathroom he took his seat back down on the toilet seat and set the container on his lap. Eddie quickly ate his sandwich, only when he looked up did he notice the merman’s eyes were sitting out of the water, watching him like a hawk from behind his sea glasses. 

“Hungry?” Eddie asked as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. 

The merman lifted the rest of his head out of the water at the sight of the food. Eddie held up a fish stick, “Okay, I know this is like processed shit but,” he sighed, tired of all the talking and manual labour he’s been doing, “It’s all I have.”

The mer shrugged and opened his mouth, asking Eddie to feed him. The human was taken aback at the gesture, but he gave in and picked up a fish stick, tearing a bite-sized chunk off. Eddie leaned forward and held it out just in front of the mer’s face. Its lips felt soft against the human skin as it took the food from him. It gulped it down happily then opened his mouth up again. The fish finished the whole container. 

He opened his mouth again and Eddie scoffed, “I’m all out fish boy! I guess I’ll go get some stuff tomorrow,” Eddie motioned to the empty container. The fish let out a low grumble as he sunk back under the water and blew bubbles at Eddie, as if showing attitude.

“Oh shut it trashmouth,” Eddie retorted, the nickname just slipped out. 

The water sloshed against the side of the tub as his eyes burst back out of the water. 

Eddie let out a nervous laugh at the sudden movement, “W-What? You like that,  trashmouth? ” Eddie said in a teasing manner. The mer’s lips smirked from underwater. The sight brightened Eddie’s smile. 

“Well,  trashmouth, I have no clue what time it is but I’m tired as fuck. I’m gonna go to sleep. You should too, so you can heal,” Eddie advised. He stood, took a step towards the tub and ruffled the fish’s hair. The mer leaned into the touch, the both of them enjoyed the physical attention.

Word count: 7604

I hope you guys liked the first chapter! Let me know what you think in the comments. I will see you guys next week with chapter 2, Sushi and Speeches. Until then, So Long And Goodnight.

~

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[seriouslyhooked]

When We Collide (Part 1)

Emma Swan has always known one thing: trust no one but yourself. Unfortunately she forgot her one rule and now she’s paying for it. One bad decision led her to the monstrous ‘Crocodile’ a mobster in New York who goes by the name Gold. Hope seems lost until she meets another person in this underworld, Killian Jones. Despite the place they find each other, a true love blossoms, and they manage to get away. But what will happen when Emma discovers who Killian really is? Will love prevail? Um, yeah, I’m writing this, so duh – it’s all love all the time. Fic features motorcycles, hot guys in leather cuts, and a bit of action/drama. Will end happily, and despite the first chapter, will be light on angst. Available on FanFiction Here and AO3 Here. 

A/N: Hey everyone! Surprise! There’s a new fic I’m here to share with you all, and full disclosure, it is very different than my usual fare. You will be able to tell that from this first chapter, and for some of my readers it might be a bit too much. Not to worry, this is just a prologue of sorts, and next chapter will start in a brighter, more hopeful place (we will flash forward in time). Be advised that there is no graphic violence or anything like that, but the premise of this story involves Emma owing a debt to Gold (a mob boss in New York) that she has to pay. She’s working it off in a bar, but she’s not exactly free to go as she does. That’s a lot angstier of a situation than I ever like to deal with, so it’s temporary, but want to give you all the heads up just so you know. I suspect a lot of you will read this and think it’s not that bad, but I figure it’s best to give everyone the heads up. Anyway, I promise that this story will eventually be just as fluffy and feels-filled as my other stories, and I hope you’ll give it a try, even if you decide to skip this chapter and just join for the next. Also, just to shout out the excellent song that partially inspired this fic, you should all listen to the song ‘Collide’ by Tiana Major9 & EARTHGANG. It’s a really beautiful song, and I hope the fic can embody the feel of it as it continues to unfold. Thanks so much for reading, and hope you enjoy!

Maybe I’ll get lucky and everyone will forget I’m back here, Emma thought to herself as she counted up the bottles on the shelves, taking a quick inventory of what they had for the bar out front.

She also needed to keep this count to protect herself. She’d learned a few days into this gig that Gold’s men loved their liquor and they had a tendency to come back here and take it. Instead of letting them do that and then allowing her and her coworkers to take the blame, Emma came up with a system including locks on the door and an electronic documentation of what they had and when. There was no wifi hook up, obviously, as Gold made sure to keep a strict lock on their surroundings, but it did provide an timestamped trail that proved she was taking nothing from this place. Every night she cashed in her tips with Sydney, the bar’s ‘owner’ but really just Gold’s front man and lap dog, and she watched as the debt she owed grew smaller and smaller. In six more months she’d be free of this and she was doing anything and everything she could to shorten that time.

Thinking about her debt made a flare of anger rise in her belly. Truth was this wasn’t even her fucking debt, it was Lily’s, a woman Emma believed to be her friend. They’d met when they were still kids, both of them runaways, and though time had driven them apart, they reconnected when they realized they were both living in New York. Emma had managed to get steady, honest work and was doing her best to claw up from the nothing that she’d started with in life, and she thought Lily was doing the same. Boy had she been wrong.

It turned out that Lily didn’t pay her part of the rent with anything resembling clean money. She’d worked for Gold, and then she fucked him over and ran, leaving Emma none the wiser and thrust into the fallout of a crime she’d never committed. When that moment came Gold gave her two choices: pay off the money he was owed, or suffer a bit before accepting and still paying, but in a less desirable way. Emma chose the former, and she gave everything she had to the man, but it still wasn’t enough. Lily had managed to get off with almost 50k, and while that was chump change to Gold, it was more than double Emma’s savings. Still she’d promised to get him the money, to give him every paycheck she could, save for her rent and food expenses. But it didn’t satisfy the Crocodile, as people were prone to calling him. Gold decreed that she’d work in the bar and that was that. She’d also been ‘moved’ to one of the apartments above the place. But none of her actual belongings ever arrived. All she had was work uniforms and bare essentials. There was no TV, no phone, no nothing. She’d been graced with tattered linens, the most basic of household essentials (as in one plate, one fork, one of everything) and a bunch of dusty books on ranging topics left from tenants past. She also had a chip on her shoulder, created from the unjustness of this whole situation, pushing her to get out of this shit as fast as she could.

“Yo, Emma, you coming back at some point?” A voice asked from the doorway. It was one of her coworkers, a guy named August who she’d never had much to do with. He seemed pretty okay, but then again, he was here working for Gold and he didn’t even seem to have the whole debt-pay off factor going. That was a huge red flag, and one of the reasons Emma never trusted him much. “We got customers.”

“One minute,” she said, and waited until the door swung closed again. Knowing she was along she closed her eyes and took some steadying breaths, gearing up for what would no doubt be a terrible night.

It’s temporary. You just have a few more months. You’ve survived worse. You can survive this too.

When she felt strong enough to put her mask in place and face the raucous debauchery that awaited her outside, Emma squared her shoulders and headed out. Her eyes had to adjust quickly to the dimness of the lighting, and she took in the stronger scents of stale cigar smoke and piss that always clung to this place. No matter how much they cleaned after hours, there was no getting rid of the odor or the grime. This bar was better off burned to the ground and completely built over, but to the men who frequented it, this place was the closest thing they had to home. The Lair, as the neon sign outside advertised, was a total dive, and it was filled to the brim with low-rate mobsters and criminals.

This was one of those places that Hollywood constantly tried ripping off to no avail. In some ways it was completely corny and predictable, and so blatant in its criminal ties that it felt like a joke that everyone was in on. But the embellishments and adornments here were over the top and gaudy, too tacky even for a Las Vegas casino. Gold’s namesake was splashed everywhere, from the countertops to the barstools to the curtains on the back walls. When the finishing got gross and dirty, they’d be replaced, but the style was dated and straight out of the 70s. It was a mobster hideaway with no pretensions, and Emma always thought to herself that the cops should be busting in every night. This was an obvious den of misconduct, but no cops ever came. The reality was that Gold had half the police force in his pocket, and the other half were too scared to cross him for fear of what he’d bring down on them. Gold might be ridiculous and over the top, but he was powerful, and more than that he was smart, so smart Emma knew better than to ever try to run and think she could get away with it.

“Well, well, well. Ain’t you lookin good tonight, sweetheart?”

Emma fought the instinct to roll her eyes at the slurred and shouted words that crossed the bar top over to where she was standing. Two months into her captivity here, and Emma knew better than to let her baser instincts win out. Despite how gross this man was, and how underwhelming he was on any metric of attractiveness, Emma couldn’t cave to her want to blow him off. Doing so was a risk, and if she had any chance of surviving this hell hole, she could not afford to take those.

“What can I get you, Mr. Black?” Emma asked, ignoring the stench of sweat and booze that mingled with the man’s cheap aftershave. She looked at him for only a second before looking down again, knowing her best bet was to try and blend into the background and let these men set their sights on the women who actually wanted to be here.

“I’ll take a night in bed with you, darlin’.” Emma chocked down a gag but flashed an insincere smile as she shook her head.

“You know the rules, Black. I work for Gold in a strictly drink-serving capacity.”

“Damn waste if you ask me, putting talent like you up in the bar.”

A waste? Emma considered it a small miracle. Since the day that Gold’s men had swarmed her apartment with guns drawn, looking for Lily, Emma had been completely at the will of a monster. She knew from the second they apprehended her and brought her back here that she could be destined for anything. People talked about Gold in this city and there was no crime he was too good to partake in. He had brothels all over the place and a stake in the skin trade. He ran drugs and guns, made people disappear and black mailed anyone he could. He had no moral restrictions, and no love greater than the one had for money and control. He owned this city in almost every single way, and if he chose to, he could make her life even worse than it was now. So much worse. It sent a shiver up her spine to even contemplate some of the things she’d heard whispered about. But Gold, as dark and twisted as he was, did have a code, and he’d briefly explained it to her the night she was brought in.

“I’m a man who collects his debts, Miss Swan, but I am also a man who sees a whole story. You had nothing to do with Lily’s betrayal, I know this. You’re collateral damage, a source of collection through no fault of your own. The debt must be payed, but since you yourself have never wronged me, I’ll be good to you. You even think of crossing me, however, and you’ll live to regret it.”

Emma knew the truth when she heard it. Her gut was never wrong. Even with Lily, the problem wasn’t that Emma had missed her true colors, she’d just chosen to ignore the telltale signs of a problem person because she really had no other friends. She hoped that Lily may come around, that she’d get better and really try and make a go of things in an above board way, but with Gold there was no doubt as to the veracity of his threat. If he felt Emma was disloyal, he’d punish her, and if at the end of this there was any doubt that she’d turn on him, she would never be free. She had to be picture perfect in her actions. A pretty, polite prisoner who served their time and then kept silent. She was ready to do that, she just had to stick to her plan and keep her head up in the meantime.

As she made Mr. Black’s drink and got caught into the flow of the bar, serving men their beer and liquor until they all got drunk as hell, Emma counted down the seconds until the night would be over. She gathered her measly tips, and kept them guarded close, and she knew that tonight would be like every other. She was trapped here, in this darkness, destined to be unhappy but determined to survive. When she was free of this she’d go as far away from Gold’s hold as she could. She’d find a cabin somewhere, live a quiet kind of life, and she’d never put herself in this kind of position again. Her lesson had been learned – she could trust no one but herself, and though that was a totally lonely sensation, she had to try and accept it or risk hurting herself all over again down the line.

Suddenly, in the midst of the normal night’s activities, the front door blew open and Emma felt a tingling of anticipation when it did. She hadn’t looked in that direction all night long, never liking the people who would dare to enter here, but her instincts were screaming at her to turn around and look. She had no idea why, but when she obeyed the internal command, she was shocked into stillness, caught up in the sight of the man who’d just walked in.

Tall, dark, and fiercely handsome, this man was sin personified and so much better looking than the other thugs that came here every night. He didn’t look out of place though, aside from his attractiveness. The clothes he wore were made of leather and spoke to some dangerous intent. He made no show to hide the side arms he was carrying, one on his hip and one strapped across his chest, and the scowl on his face made him seem hard and unapproachable. For a moment, Emma had the chance to take him in, and despite the fierceness of his expression, she felt a flutter low in her stomach.

His chiseled jaw with the well-trimmed beard he had was hot, as was the symmetry of his features and the way his broad body clenched and she could see his muscles. But if someone were to ask her what stood out most about this mystery man it was his eyes. They were blue, like the ocean in places she’d only read about. They weren’t icy or cold, but warm somehow and so thoroughly enticing. She felt herself lost in them, and then he looked at her, their gazes connecting, and that sensation grew so much stronger. She felt a kind of pang echo through her ribcage the moment he took her in, and she watched as the hardness of his face shifted ever so slightly. It was a small tell, most people wouldn’t have noticed, but Emma did, and she knew that he felt this too. Whatever the hell this was – the man who’d just arrived was just as captive to it as she was.

“Ah, Captain, you’re here!” One of the regulars said, laughing and flailing about as only truly drunk men did. “Didn’t think we’d ever get you to The Lair. Thought you was too good for us.”

The man they called ‘Captain’ tore his gaze from Emma and moved over to the man who’d called him over. His stride was measured and almost graceful, and Emma couldn’t help but follow him with her eyes. This was so unlike her. She made it her business not to watch anyone too closely. The less she knew about what everyone was really up to the better, but she was intrigued by this newcomer in a way she’d never been before.

“Boss wants to see you, Alvin. Something about the McManus shipment.” Alvin blanched at the comment and swallowed harshly and Emma knew for certain that this man was in trouble with Gold. She didn’t have much sympathy for Alvin, and in fact most of her intention was focused on this stranger, who had the touch of an accent she couldn’t quite place. His voice was silky and low, tantalizing in a way, and she wanted to hear more of it. “Perhaps you’d like a drink for the road. Not sure when you’ll have the chance for another.”

“Bring them this,” Sydney said, materializing from nowhere next to Emma. She jumped at the unexpected intrusion into her thoughts, and looked at the two glasses.

“Is this rum?” she asked dumbly and Sydney nodded.

“The best. Captain likes the good stuff.”

“Right,” Emma said, moving over with the tray to the table where both men sat. When she got there, she was struck speechless again. Being so close to this man only added to the allure. He was even more interesting close up, and she lost her head a little bit at the sight of him, but tried to pull herself together as best he could. “Your drinks, gentlemen.”

Alvin took the drink and downed in, but the stranger took his time, glancing at her over the glass and nodding. He didn’t smile, but his eyes conveyed a warmth he’d shared with no one else here. “Thank you, love.”

Knowing she couldn’t linger, Emma moved back to the other tables, continuing her work, but when she noticed Alvin and the mysterious man standing up to go a few minutes later, she felt a dash of disappointment. He was leaving, and she didn’t even know his name.

Okay, seriously? What the hell Emma? He’s one of them. He works for Gold. You don’t care about him. You can’t care.

The voice in her head scolded her for her fanciful thinking and this completely mistimed attraction. It was so foolish to think of him as anything but a threat, but her heart lurched at the thought. She was overcome with these weird feelings. Being so drawn to a man so quickly had never been her style. Certainly not now when she was in survival mode. But as she turned around to fill a tray with empty glasses on one of the far tables, she felt a presence behind her. She whipped around too quickly, only to run into him, and if it hadn’t been for his steadying hands, one on her arm and the other on her tray, the glasses would have shattered.

“You all right, love?”

“Um,” she licked her lips as her eyes darted up to and she nodded once. “Yes. I’m fine.”

“Good. Just wanted to give you this,” he said, handing her a tip. It was generous. Like a couple hundred-dollar bills generous. It was way more than their drinks had been and way way more than she could ever accept. It felt wrong, but there was a part of her that was desperate to keep it. This would put her that much closer to freedom. It was almost a week she wouldn’t have to work. Still she pushed it back at him.

“I can’t. It’s too much.”

“It’s hardly enough,” he replied ardently and her brow furrowed as she looked at his face, the earnestness on it clear as day to her. “I know these men, love. There’s no way they give you what you’ve earned. Not tonight, not ever. So please, take it.”

“Okay,” she agreed after a moment’s hesitation, feeling gratified by the fact that she had earned this, even if he wasn’t the one who should have to pay. “Thanks…”

“Killian,” he filled in before she could decide to use the nickname that Alvin had called him by.

“Killian,” she repeated, tasting the name on her tongue and loving the way it felt as it passed through her lips. “I’m Emma, by the way.”

“Emma,” he replied with a grin that was there and gone so quickly she would have missed it as she blinked. As it was, she knew she saw it, and that look was even more breathtaking than the rest of him. No one had a right to be that sexy. No one. “Well, until next time, Emma.”

With that, he turned and walked away, cold and composed once more as he led Alvin out of the bar and headed off into the night. And though Emma knew very little about him, she had a feeling she’d just met someone very important. Through the mist of all the new emotions and excitement, she sensed, deep down, that this man – Killian – mattered, and that somehow, someway, their fates were intertwined, destined to lead them back to each other in one way or another.

Post-Note: So there we have it! This is a short glimpse into the fic, kind of like a prologue if you will. Next chapter will flash forward a bit, because this honestly was angsty enough for me to write. I do not want to dwell in the bad circumstances Emma finds herself in, and instead want to get us to a fluffier, if still a bit wilder place than I am used to. As the description says this will be an MC (motorcycle club) romance, and we’ll reveal how that will come to pass in the next few chapters. In the meantime, I would love to hear what you all think! This is a break away from my usual fare, and pretty much the opposite of the other fic I am currently writing, but I have wanted to write a story like this for a really long time. I’m eager to share the rest of this fic with you all, and hope you will join me on this fun new journey. Anyway, thanks for reading and hope you have a great rest of your day!

[goldandbluesmiles]

Bloody Courting

Summary: "There are two types of omegas that make it in our world and especially in Gotham. There are the ones like me that wrap Alphas, Betas and even other omegas around their finger, make them dance to their tune. You will not be that omega. You are too brash and forward to it. You will be the omega that goes ahead with the sheer force of will. They will respect you and if they do not, they will fear you,"

Jason had nodded, listening to him with rapt attention.

"And remember, if any of them think they are worth you, make them prove it no matter than their designation. Do not ever settle for less than what you want,"

These days he was really wishing that he hadn't driven the last point very hard. Because really the dead bodies were getting a bit ridiculous.

Ao3

Note: This is part 1. You can read part 2 here.

TW: Mention of body parts. Nothing graphic. It’s Earth 3 so things are a little messed up.

XXX

Jason was the only pup that was truly his.

Not that the others weren't but he couldn't call any of them just his own, all of them having responsibilities elsewhere, having ties to someone else. Dick was an Alpha and they usually took toward their Alpha mentors. Dick had grown into Talon and was now one of the most vicious forces on this side of the globe. Bruce was proud, so proud but Dick would always be more Thomas then Bruce, no matter how much the young Alpha hated the older Wayne.

Damian Al Ghul and Helena Kyle-Wayne were his little miracle pups. Born as fraternal twins and sired by two different Alphas. However, Helena was, again, an Alpha. And while Selena was much more lenient than any other Alpha about Helena being with her omega bearer, Helena was an Alpha and would naturally gravitate toward her Alpha mother. Damian was an omega but he was the heir to the League, so really, Bruce was lucky that Talia had stood up to her father, otherwise, he might not have gotten to know the little pup at all.

Tim Drake was another little pup he had held close, much like Dick, except that Tim's loyalty was to his parents. He was the only omega child to an alpha father and a beta mother. There were many parents that chose to have heir child mentored by another person if their designation didn't match and the Drakes had chosen Bruce to mentor theirs. Tim would always come to Bruce first with his achievements and grievances but it wasn't the same.

Cassandra was already trained in a certain manner by her biological father, one that Bruce did not agree with but could not change. He supported her when he could and completely adored her but she was a flighty dancer and had come to him while she was already grown.

Stephanie, Harper, Cullen, Barbara, more protege than children and really that was how it was always going to be.

But Jason. Jason was all his. He was a crime alley omega which meant that none of the Alphas around would take him under their wing and no one in Bruce's circle wanted to 'taint' their blood with an omega mate from the alley. He was Bruce's to raise, to cherish and to hold close. Bruce's to teach and mould.

It was Bruce's job to make sure the omega pup made it to the top of the world and he would do a damn good job of it. Their world bowed to the powerful and strong and he would make sure that Jason was the best.

He has told Jason that much when he has taken the little pup in.

"There are two types of omegas that make it in our world and especially in Gotham. There are the ones like me that wrap Alphas, Betas and even other omegas around their finger, make them dance to their tune. You will not be that omega. You are too brash and forward to it. You will be the omega that goes ahead with the sheer force of will. They will respect you and if they do not, they will fear you,"

Jason had nodded, listening to him with rapt attention.

"And remember, if any of them think they are worth you, make them prove it no matter than their designation. Do not ever settle for less than what you want,"

These days he was really wishing that he hadn't driven the last point very hard.

Because really the dead bodies were getting a bit ridiculous.

XXX

The first sign of what was to come had come when someone had asked Jason to the Halloween dance in his sophomore year.

"Hey B," said Jason while expertly hitting every target with his blades, "I need a costume for the Halloween dance,"

"Huh," said Bruce, "Don't you already have one? The pirate one?"

"Oh yeah, but I got asked to the dance by this really cute alpha girl and we're matching so we're doing Zorro,"

Bruce grinned at the young omega, "So someone asked you huh? How? Did they present you with a gift?"

"Yeah," said Jason, throwing the last knife and heading to where Bruce was standing, "Wanna see?"

Jason took out a small wooden box. Inside, nestled in velvet was a small white ring. Bruce had to admit it looked quite nice, strong and well crafted, the light barely touching-

"Wait," he said, "Is that made of a human finger bone?"

"Yeah!" said Jason, "Cool isn't it. We were talking about people keeping trophies from their kills and I said making something pretty out of it would be the best insult since they're still serving you in death and she gave this to me today and asked,"

"Huh?" said Bruce, not knowing how to feel about the thing, "It's an interesting gift,"

"Right," said Jason, "Some other people asked me too but hey all gave boring gifts so I ignored them,"

"Boring?" wondered Bruce

"You know. Flowers. Candies and stuff," said Jason, "This is much cooler. Now about the costume,"

Bruce shrugged as Jason started listing supplies for his costume. It was just a bone ring. Nothing to worry about.

He really should have thought better.

XXX

There was a box at his doorstep.

And it was dripping blood.

That could not be anything good. Someone had actually gotten close to their door to leave this here and from all the blood the message could only be a threat.

Bruce carefully opened the box and-

-found a perfectly cut heart inside with a note.

'Be my valentine?'

Bruce sighed.

"Jason!"

Jason came running down and grinned when he saw the box.

"Oh god, he actually did it,"

"Explain," said Bruce, having some idea where this was going.

Jason laughed, "He asked what it would take to get my heart and on a whim, I said 'a heart' and he actually did it,"

"Is the same person that asked you out with patches of tattoed skin?"

"Nope, new guy,"

"Of course," Bruce sighed

"Anyway Valentines tomorrow," said Jason, grabbing the box, "I have an outfit to get ready,"

"Watch for the blood!" he called out but Jason was already gone

"Human bone jewellery, tattoed skin patches, an actual bloody heart," muttered Bruce, "What's next? A severed head?"

He really shouldn't have asked.

XXX

There was a severed head in the box, eyes still open and tongue sticking out of their mouth.

The words 'Prom?' were carved into its forehead.

Bruce heaved a sigh and decided to take the box to Jason himself. He found the young boy sitting in the library, reading a book.

"You have an invite to prom," he told the omega

"If its another cake, I don't want it," said Jason, not even looking up from his book

"It's a severed head,"

That got his attention.

"Oh?" said Jason, "Who's is it?"

"See for yourself," said Bruce, handing his son the box

"Ah," said Jason, looking at the head, "Jeffery. He likes to mess with younger omegas. Or well 'liked' I guess,"

"Did he do anything to you," asked Bruce, the protective instinct rising inside of him

Jason snorted, "No. He wouldn't have had the balls to. Anyway, I like to deal with my problems on my own,"

"Right," said Bruce

Jason hummed and then looked at Bruce, "Do you think I could wear a dress to prom? I'm still pretty slim and it would look nice with my developing curves,"

Bruce looked from the head to the bright smile on Jason's face and resigned himself to seeing bloody gifts in the future.

"Sure Jay, you can wear a dress,"

XXX

Once Jason graduated high school, he got into Princeton and stayed there for the next four years, barely showing his face in Gotham. People started to wonder if he would ever come back.

Bruce knew better though. He'd seen his son's plans, the fire in his eyes and the blood behind his teeth.

Jason was a Gothamite, born and bred.

He would come back.

And come back he did.

Red X rose through the ranks of Gotham's underbelly with a viciousness that even surprised Bruce. The people of crime alley and the narrows worshipped him and those that opposed him feared him. He made everyone bow to him and his meetings with the rest of Gotham's big players, including the elite, were a sight to behold.

Really, Bruce couldn't have been prouder.

His son's newfound popularity also meant that there were a lot more people trying to gain his favours. And while Jason no longer lived with Bruce, he, however, did come to visit often.

And bring his gifts along.

"Look, Bruce! It's a torture wheel. Still has a bit of blood on it,"

"Here! Look! it was used to decapitate the rogue gang a couple of months ago. I think I might spend my heat with this one,"

"Another heart Bruce! You'd think I'd be over getting hearts by now but really, never gets old,"

"Dad! Dad! A skull!"

"Remember that Beta we were talking about, someone cut off his fingers for me. I think I'm gonna meet them,"

"Why can't he like normal gifts?" Bruce wailed, "I liked normal gifts,"

"I brought you stolen jewellery Lover," said Selina, running a hand through his hair

"And I brought you blades," said Talia, "There were flowers too but mostly weapons,"

"Still normal gifts!" insisted Bruce, "This one likes actual human hearts, and fingers and skulls!"

Talia laughed and gave him a kiss, "He's happy, Beloved. That's what you want for him, right?"

Bruce sighed. She was right of course. He wanted his son to be happy. He could put up with a few torture devices and clean body parts.

And then Roy fucking Harper happened.

[krizaland]

You know what? I love that random pilot from the movie. So despite not knowing his name, I'm going to use my dumbass energy and ask if you've got any relationship hcs for him?

Ooh! I love him too! He was the only one with enough courage and braincells to try to talk some sense into the Tallest!

Note: The pilot doesn’t have an official name. So I named him Skad.

By some miracle, Skad had somehow managed to survive the Florpus. However, the Florpus had left him stranded on Urth!

Needless to say, Skad was petrified! Being on the same planet as Zim aside, Skad was trained a pilot not an Invader! He had no idea how to adapt to life on another planet!

Anxious and alone, Skad frantically searched for shelter. He desperately tried to avoid drawing attention to himself. He didn’t want to even think about what the inhabitants of this terrible planet would do to him if he got caught!

Just when he thought he had found the perfect shelter the door swung open.

“HOLY SHIT! AN ALIEN!”

All of the color drained from Skad’s face. He had been caught by one of the inhabitants! This was it! He was going to die deserted on a foreign planet!

Skad took a deep breath and decided to brace himself for his inevitable doom.  

The moment he turned the face the source of the voice, Skad felt his PAK spark.

“Sorry! Didn’t mean to scare you!” You squeaked as you slowly put your hands in front of your face.

Skad tried to speak but all that came out was gibberish.  Never had he seen such a beautiful creature! Your eyes twinkled with stardust! And your voice! What a lovely sound!

“Ah geez, you don’t speak English do you?” Your face fell a bit as you rubbed the back of your head.

Skad shook away his infatuation and cleared his throat.

“Fear not, Urthinod! I am perfectly capable of understanding and speaking your language!”

“Oh! Sorry for assuming!”

“It’s quite alright. I take it this planet doesn’t get many foreign visitors?” Skad laughed nervously as he tried to sound professional.

“Nope! I mean, people have claimed to have seen an alien but there’s never been any actual proof. Like, I know this really creepy paranormal guy who keeps claiming that one of my classmates is an alien.” You replied casually.

“Creepy paranormal guy?” Skad parroted as he tilted his head to the side.

“Yeah, I think his name is Dib or something. He goes to my skool and he’s always screaming about exposing aliens and dissecting them. But that’s not what makes him creepy though.” You groaned.

“I’m sorry, how is wanting to dissect aliens not creepy?!” Skad gasped as he hugged himself protectively.

“Oh wanting to dissect aliens are definitely creepy but trust me, that’s only the tip of the iceberg with that guy. Speaking of which, we should probably continue this back inside. If Dib finds out that there’s another real alien running around, it’s not gonna end well for you.” You explained as you gestured for Skad to follow you into your house.

Skad reluctantly agreed and followed you inside.

“Alright, we need to be quiet because my parents are sleeping.” You whispered as you crept through the halls.

“My, this home is much more… primitive then I was expecting.” Skad muttered as he observed his surroundings.

“Heh. I guess things are a bit more advanced where you’re from.” You giggled as you led Skad to your room.

“Well, I am from planet Irk. We have the finest technology in the universe.” Skad boasted.

“Really? That’s awesome.” You gently opened your bedroom door and motioned for Skad to enter.

“Indeed. It’s really a shame how behind most of the universe is.” Skad playfully shook his head.

“So what brought you to Urth anyway?” You asked as you pulled up your desk chair and gestured for him to sit.

“Um, Well…It’s quite a long story…” Skad murmured as he slowly sat down.

“It’s cool if you don’t want to talk about it.” You reassured as you plopped onto your bed.

“Oh no! It’s not that! It’s just a long story! I simply don’t want to waste your time with my babbling.” Skad explained as he straightened up a bit.

“You’re not wasting my time at all! I’ve actually always wanted to meet an alien! Tell me everything! As long as you’re comfortable with that, of course.” You gushed as you pressed your hands up against your cheeks.

“Well, since you insist…”

Skad took in a deep breath as he begun to explain everything.  He told you all about his life as one of The Massive’s pilots.  He couldn’t believe that you were actually listening to his entire story! Not only were you listening but you were even asking questions!  

For the first time in his life, Skad felt respected. It was a glorious feeling!  Skad never wanted the feeling to end! He went into more and more detail of his life and even bragged about a few of his slightly exaggerated achievements.

However, all good things must come to an end. Skad soon had no choice but to talk about the dreaded Florpus.  

He felt a twinge of bitterness bubble up as he remembered how stubborn the Tallest were. Had they listened to him none of this would’ve happened!

“So, that’s how I ended up on your planet….” Skad sighed as he hung his head.

“Oh, Skad…”

“You needn’t pity me, Y/N is it?”

“That’s right.” You nodded.

“We Irkens are highly trained! My survival skills are the best in my class! I can assure you, I will be just fine. I’m certain I could just….um…” Skad trailed off as his mind searched for the right words to say.

“You could always stay here with me.”

‘Y/N, I mean no disrespect but I cannot stay on this foreign planet! Not without supplies anyway.” Skad huffed as he folded his arms.

“Ok, well how about you just stay until you can find some supplies?”

“Well… I guess I don’t really have a choice do I?” Skad sighed as he buried his face in his hands.

“Hey, it’s gonna be alright. I promise..” You reassured softly.

“How could you be so sure?”

“Because…. you’re amazing! I know you can get through anything!” You giggled.

“Wait…Do you really think I’m amazing?” Skad’s ruby eyes lit up.

“Of course I do! You managed to survive a deadly multiverse-destroying wormhole! How is that not amazing?!” You cheered as you pointed to the ceiling.

“Well, I’d consider it more lucky than amazing b-but I’m very flattered by your words, Y/N.” Skad stuttered as he rubbed the back of his head.

You let out a yawn and stretched out your arms.

“Alright, I’ve got Skool tomorrow, so I gotta get some sleep. We can talk more in the morning if you want.”

“Sleep? You humans still require that?” Skad blinked in surprise.

“Yeah- Wait, what do you mean still? Don’t Irkens sleep too?” You asked as you raised a brow.

“We Irkens haven’t required sleep for over thousands of years. Our PAKs are equipped with special charging cells that provide us with a constant stream of energy. Therefore, sleep is obsolete to us.” Skad explained as he gestured to his PAK.

“Oh damn! That’s crazy! So you guys don’t get tired? Like at all?!” You asked as your eyes widened a bit.

“Well that’s not entirely true…” Skad muttered as his antennas drooped a bit.

“Eh? I thought your PAKs provided a constant stream of energy or whatever?”

“W-Well it’s true that we Irkens don’t require sleep but we can still get tired if we get overworked. Or when we have to deal with frustrating individuals….” Skad’s voice tapered into a soft mutter as he spoke.

“What was that?”

“N-Nothing! P-Perhaps it would be best for you to get some sleep now! We can talk more in the morning!” Skad spluttered as he waved his hands in front of his face.

“Ok then…I guess I’ll get ready for bed.”

And with that, you dug out your favorite Pjs.

“Why are you pulling out different clothes? I fail to see what’s wrong with what you’re currently wearing/”

“Oh! Well, it’s not comfortable for me to sleep in what I’m wearing now, so I’m going to change into something that is comfortable to sleep in.” You explained as you gestured to your Pjs.

“Oh I see…..W-Wait what?!” Skad’s face flushed as his mind processed what you just said.

“Well you see, we humans don’t like to be uncomfortable when we sleep so-”

“Oh that part I’m fine with! It’s the…changing part that startled me!” Skad spluttered as a few beads of pink sweat dripped down his face.

You couldn’t help but burst out laughing at Skad’s reaction.

“W-What’s so funny?!”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It’s just… I’m not gonna change in front of you! I’m gonna go to the bathroom to change.” You explained playfully.

“O-Oh right! Of course!” Skad let out a nervous chuckle.

And with that, you headed to the bathroom, changed into your Pjs and brushed your teeth.

While you brushed your teeth, Skad let out a dreamy sigh.

“That human sure is something….Perhaps staying here won’t be so bad after all.”

Skad rested his head in his hands as he let out a soft chirp.

ZAP!

Skad’s PAK sparked a bit.

Skad’s eyes widened in shock! That wasn’t supposed to happen.

Skad begun to panic! If anyone found out about his PAK sparking, he would no doubt be deactivated!

It was then Skad’s mind came to a realization:

Most of his people, including the Tallest, have no doubt been swallowed by the Florpus.

Therefore, no one else would even be alive, let alone be able to find out about his sparking PAK.

Skad let out a sigh of relief as he wiped away a few beads of sweat off his forehead.

“Alright! I’m back!”

The sound of your cheerful voice woke Skad from his thoughts.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” You giggled as you plopped onto your bed.

“No! No! You’re fine! I was just um… Well sleep well. Would you like me to shut the lights off?” Skad offered.

“Oh, don’t worry, I can take care of that-”

“Really, it wouldn’t be any trouble for me.” Skad insisted.

“Well if you insist.” You yawned as you begun to crawl into bed.

And with that, Skad turned off the lights as you got cozy in bed.

“Good night, Skad.” You whispered.

“Good Night, Y/N.” Skad replied as he watched you fall into a deep sleep.

Skad stifled a chirp as he watched you sleep.

Yup, he was definitely going to like his new life on Urth.

[ahgaseda]

the hot tea || chapter 01

⇥ synopsis : your best friend, Jackson, never fails to argue against your apathy toward love and romance, but his plan to confess his true feelings toward you is rudely interrupted when you start a blog chronicling your past relationships...

⇥ warnings : this story in its entirety includes but is not limited to strong language and dialogue, recurring alcohol or drug use, and explicit sexual content, and is intended for an adult audience only!

Home was a beautiful sight after such a long day. You trudged inside the shop and the dainty ring of a lonely silver bell was music to your ears. The sound signaled to the owner in the back, who stepped out with a towel as he dried off his freshly-washed hands.

“Hey,” Jackson greeted with a broad smile. After a quick glance, he changed his tone and asked, “Rough day?”

“The roughest,” you huffed, sidling up to the bar and plopping down on a stool. The place had cleared out, closing a few minutes earlier. The silence and emptiness were welcome and you tiredly slipped out of your shoes, letting your feet dangle.

Jackson offered, though he already knew the answer, “Tea?”

“Yes, please,” you sighed in relief.

Though his specialty was smoothies (and educating people on the importance of organic ingredients to promote healthy living), Jackson never failed to serve you a warm cup of tea at the end of a long day. He had different varieties too, and always seemed to know exactly which one you needed to soothe your morale.

As he pushed the small cup your way a few minutes later, you took a sip, dropped your head onto your hand, and asked, “Do you think some of us are just destined to be alone?”

Jackson released a long exhale - one that could easily have been perceived as exasperation, but you knew to be pity - and leaned against the counter across from you. Then, he replied, “You know I don’t.”

You rolled your eyes. Jackson agreed with you on many things, but this wasn’t one of them.

Living as neighbors in the apartments above the shop you currently sat in, Jackson was the last person you expected to bond with when you moved out on your own. And he had not been very keen when it came to taking on a tennant either, but he also hadn’t been prepared to buy the entire building when picking a spot for his new business.

Still, the arrangement worked wonders for you both. You needed a relatively cheap but safe place to live and he needed help making the hefty mortgage payments every month.

Jackson opened his mouth to ask what had brought out your poorly hidden disdain for relationships, but you beat him to the punch.

“I finally heard from that guy again,” you told him, taking a tentative sip of your hot tea.

Jackson lifted an eyebrow.

“Last night… at three o’clock in the freaking morning.”

Your best friend groaned and shook his head with disappointment, disheveled hair falling across his forehead. “Booty call?”

You slumped forward onto the counter, letting your forehead rest on the cold surface, and whined, “What is it about me that attracts nonsense?”

“Some guys just don’t know what to do with such a hot piece of ass,” Jackson teased, patting your arm.

Lifting your head, you swiftly narrowed your eyes in scolding.

Jackson put a hand over his heart and defended, “This is me providing comic relief.”

He was certainly a professional at that and you couldn’t help but smile in amusement. Pulling out your phone, you started, “Since I am doomed to the life of a spinster and a house full of cats…”

Jackson was quick to interject, “Are you maybe just a little dramatic?”

You shot him a look of mischief. “Only a little.”

He chortled.

“As I was saying,” you began, scrolling to your text messages. “Krystal had an idea.”

“Krystal is an enabler,” Jackson said with a level of monotone and indifference he consistently reserved for your other best friend.

Fighting a laugh, you continued, “She says everyone is blogging nowadays and…”

Jackson interrupted yet again to ask, “Blogging about what - work?”

Growing impatient, you fussed, “Jackson, I bake cookies for a living.”

“Fancy cookies that are delicious and have added at least five extra pounds to my voluptuous ass,” he quipped, reaching back and emphasizing the point with a loud smack to his buttocks.

You met his eyes and glared, blinking slowly with irritation.

Jackson flashed you a wide smile, happy to see he had gotten under your skin, and said, “Please proceed.”

“I wouldn’t blog about work,” you explained, emotionless. “I would blog about sex.”

His eyes widened with surprise and undeniable interest. A devilish smirk on his lips, Jackson replied, “You have my attention.”

“Since Krystal and I unanimously agree that anyone would be hard pressed to find somebody who has had the catastrophic dating history that I’ve had…”

“Mm-hm,” he hummed; more so to let you know he was listening, not that he necessarily agreed.

“And I have a flair for excessive vocabulary and witty narratives.”

“I see where this is going,” Jackson said, sounding rather unimpressed.

Rubbing your hands together, you asked nervously, “What do you think?”

Starting a blog that would catalog your shortcomings when it came to romance and intimacy had never crossed your mind, but a long-winded conversation in the middle of the night with Krystal had given her the idea. Little did Jackson know, if he didn’t condone it, you had already decided you wouldn’t go through with it without his approval.

After all, he would feature quite prominently on the blog.

Jackson tapped his chin and shrugged, noncommittal. “I mean, I’ve heard of people journaling as an alternative to therapy.”

“Which in some cases they desperately need,” you said with a scoff.

“Desperately,” he echoed, shaking his head as a few of his friends and relatives came to mind. “But it’s definitely better than adult coloring books.”

Pointing your middle finger to the ceiling, you grumbled, “Do you have to shit on all of my hobbies?”

Jackson chuckled. “I’m kidding… sort of.”

You snorted.

“If it’s something that will make you happy, then do it. Venting out our frustrations can help us get to a better place mentally and move forward. But always remember the golden rule,” Jackson told you, suddenly stern.

You joked, “Never eat raw cookie dough?”

Jackson grimaced at the thought, but didn’t comment. Instead, he finished, “Don’t ever step on other people to get yourself above them.”

“It would be purely humorous, I promise,” you said, downing the rest of your tea. “Nothing shady or vengeful about it.”

He gave you a single nod. “Good.”

You watched Jackson take your now empty cup and put it in the sink for a short wash, offering him another thank you as he did. Your eyes lingered on his arms, sleeves rolled up to the elbows, and despite how exhausted you were, your mind was having no trouble coming up with ways he could put those rough hands to use.

As Jackson moved to switch off the lights in the back, you returned your focus to the blog and added, “I’ve been pretty lucky in that all of my exes are generally good people and don’t hate my guts.”

“A miracle considering your ability to inspire annoyance,” your best friend smarted, returning to the counter.

You folded your arms and exclaimed, “Hey, I’m the one with the savage repertoire!”

Rolling his eyes, Jackson chided, “Don’t use words I don’t know. English is not my first language.”

You snickered, “Apologies.”

“So, all done here,” Jackson murmured under his breath, grabbing his keys. “After I lock up, wanna come over to my place and fuck?”

“What are best friends with benefits for,” you replied with a grin.

chapter 01 ⇥ chapter 02

Hey there, beautiful! If you enjoyed this, please leave a like or reblog or follow me! Or maybe buy me a coffee so I can keep writing? Or check out my masterlist here for more stories! Thanks for reading :) - Katya

This work is fictional and for entertainment purposes only, but is licensed and protected under a creative commons attribution-noncommercial-noderivatives 4.0 international license. Any instances of plagiarism will be dealt with accordingly. Do not re-post or translate without my permission.

{ copyright 2018-2020 © ahgaseda // all rights reserved }

[berniesrevolution]

In Dilley, Texas, there is only one grocery store, and that grocery store is Lowes. (It is not a Lowes, like the home improvement center. It is a totally different and legally distinct store that also happens to be called Lowes.) Lowes is a place of many mysteries. I once went there to buy vegetable broth for a sick coworker, and combed the soup aisle for nearly 20 minutes before being forced to admit that no, Lowes does not carry vegetable broth. The closest thing they had was a can of something called “vegetable beef.” Lowes does, however, carry bacon-flavored pancake syrup, quite a lot of animal pheromones in spray cans (including such choice selections as “raccoon urine” and “sow in heat,” which I assume are for agricultural rather than cosmetic purposes), and a large selection of devotional candles in glass cylinders.

I had never paid much attention to the candles, but a friend of mine was in town, volunteering at the child internment camp where I work as an immigration lawyer, and he wanted to bring back a candle for some eclectic ofrenda-type situation he had set up in his D.C. apartment. He is a meticulous and thoughtful sort of person, and took a long time debating between various candidates. I had come to Lowes primarily to buy Cheez-Its, and was getting impatient. I picked up a candle at random. “How about this one?” I said.

The candle had a picture of a Little Lord Fauntleroy-type in a plumed hat and a white ruff, with a pink seashell pinned to his cloak. I glanced at the label on the back. Glorioso Santo Niño de Atocha, it said, patrón de las que están injustamente en prisión, protector de viajeros y que das la mano al que se encuentra en peligro…

I didn’t know anything about this saint at all, despite having grown up Catholic, so I looked him up on my phone. I soon discovered that he was not really a saint, per se, but a special Limited Edition version of baby Jesus. Wikpedia offered up the following backstory:

In the 13th century, Spain was under Muslim rule. The town of Atocha, now part of Madrid’s Arganzuela district, was lost to the Muslims, and many Christians there were taken prisoners as spoils of war. The Christian prisoners were not fed by the jailers, but by family members who brought them food. According to pious legend, the caliph ordered that only children under the age of 12 were permitted to bring food. Conditions became increasingly difficult for those men without small children. … Reports soon began among the people of Atocha that an unknown child under the age of twelve and dressed in pilgrim’s clothing, had begun to bring food to childless prisoners at night. The women of the town returned to Our Lady of Atocha to thank the Virgin for her intercession, and noticed that the shoes worn by the Infant Jesus were tattered and dusty. They replaced the shoes of the Infant Jesus, but these became worn again. The people of Atocha took this as a sign that it was the Infant Jesus who went out every night to help those in need.

This all got me rather excited, because I am very fond of medieval history, and regularly drive around rural Texas blasting 13th-century Spanish pilgrimage music. Who would’ve thought that a little vestige of the medieval world would turn up in my local grocery store? Secondly, what better patron for someone who works at a jail for child refugees than a child-saint who defends both travelers in peril and the unjustly imprisoned?

And that was how I first ended up buying a Holy Infant of Atocha candle for my kitchen table.

Later, when I researched the matter further, I found out that the Wikipedian history of the Holy Infant was—shockingly—likely incorrect. The medieval origin story was a post hoc invention, an attempt to give an older European pedigree to a wholly Mexican tradition. The Holy Infant’s mother, as it turns out, was an authentically medieval character: Holy Mary of Atocha appears in several of the 13th century Cantigas de Santa Maria (a.k.a. the sick beats currently blaring from my Kia Forte), mostly as a patroness of field workers. When her shrine at Atocha was selected for special favor by the Spanish monarchy in the 17th century, she was transformed from a saint of the people into an emblem of Spanish governance. It was in this capacity—as a defender of Spanish colonial might—that Mary of Atocha found her way to Mexico. Sanctuaries in her name were built in the state of Zacatecas, in Fresnillo and Plateros.

But through some obscure evolution of local devotion, it was the image of her child, the Holy Infant, that became the primary locus of worship. The Holy Infant of Atocha eventually came to be revered as a protector of ordinary people, especially of miners, travelers, and prisoners. An 1848 novena written by one Calixto Aguirre was instrumental in popularizing the cult of the Holy Infant, and the cover illustration of the printed pamphlet version was the first to show him as a pilgrim rather than a prince. Instead of a crown, a globe, and a scepter—the traditional iconography of power—he had a big hat, a food basket, and a traveler’s staff with a gourd hanging from it. The first episode of the novena tells of a legal miracle.  It begins with the tale of a poor woman by the name of Maximiana Esparza, who wanders to four different cities, seeking succor. In each city, she is imprisoned for her malas costumbres—some unspecified bad manners—and, having no family or other advocate to speak on her behalf, she languishes for years in prison in each place. At last, after being in prison a year in Durango, she prays to the Holy Infant of Atocha:

…who listened to her kindly and took her out of her captivity; for in all the time that she had lived there, there was nobody who would defend her, until the Holy Child of Atocha, dressed as a handsome youth, visited her in that prison and gave her some bread in the name of his mother, saying to her that same afternoon she would see the judge and he would take up her case, which caused no little amazement among the rector and the other inmates; and when the time arrived that the Child had named, she was set free.

Mary of Atocha, the former people’s saint, may regrettably have become more conservative in her waning years, but she nonetheless succeeded in giving the world an even more radical son. We should all be so lucky!

It’s actually pretty absurd that I knew nothing about the Holy Infant of Atocha until a few months ago. Once he was on my radar, I soon realized that he’s a pretty standard figure in Mexican and Chicanx Catholicism. But I stumbled into immigration advocacy three years ago knowing next to nothing about Latin American cultures, and even now there are huge gaps in my understanding. My Spanish, too, is still pretty atrocious. I have been working at it for three years, but it’s like speaking through a mouthful of broken glass. I muster my words with pain, and my meaning comes out all mangled. I now feel a strong affinity for all those immigrant grandparents who understand English perfectly and never learn to speak it; I am sure I would be just the same if I were ever to immigrate to a non-English-speaking country. I often feel that any bilingual person, with or without a law degree, could do most of my work a lot better than me. But I am here, so I do my best.

Sometimes I wake up in the mornings very anxious, usually when I have to draft a big court filing or an important request to the asylum office, to try and stop a detained family’s deportation. I come up with soothing little rituals to ease my transition from fretful sleep to focused work. I put on some music. I make a big pot of coffee. I light my Holy Infant of Atocha candle. It’s really because I like the way the candlelight makes me feel, not for superstitious reasons. I’m really not one for good luck charms, astrology, or premonitions. I remember that shortly after Trump first announced the family separation policy this summer—this was when I was still in Massachusetts, getting ready for my move to Texas—I was walking down a familiar street near my home, feeling very disturbed and heartsick. All of a sudden I saw a rabbit on the sidewalk a few feet ahead. It was standing quite still, and it let me walk up close. For a moment the encounter felt almost magical. Then the rabbit loped off, and where it had been, I saw two small baby bunnies lying dead on the pavement. When I bent to look, a little cloud of flies dispersed, then settled again. As omens go, that was some Roman-level bullshit. But I don’t think it was anything but coincidence.

The area of south Texas where I live now is teeming with strange sights, and sometimes everything I see feels pregnant with meaning. The drive from my apartment to the internment camp is only four minutes, but the road is always strewn with strange corpses. A dead dog or house cat is an everyday casualty; but I have also seen bodies of armadillos, bobcats, and javelinas, all mowed down by a speeding truck, or a passenger-bus of incoming detainees, or one of the heavy tankers that barrel continually to and from the nearby oilfields. No waste collection service ever disposes of the animals, so I watch their corpses bloat and distend and then disintegrate over a period of weeks. I have heard a rumor too that there are zebra on one of the ranches around here, flown in and kept in captivity so that deer-weary hunters can have something exotic to shoot. I’ve yet to see an escaped zebra lying dead by the side of the road, but give it time.

Also on the same road as the child internment camp, if you can believe it, there is a Texas state prison. It lies alongside a large ranch, and in front of the jail there’s a field of watermelons. Sometimes in the early morning, on my way into work, I see a group of prisoners in white jumpsuits and white caps, working the watermelon field. Ringed around them are three or four heavily-armed officers on horseback, in case anyone tries anything. The thing is so ludicrous it’s hard to know whether to laugh or cry. It’s as if this tiny town has been selected as a kind of roadside showcase of human cruelty.

(Continue Reading)

[6umiko]

Secret Ending 1 ~ Ep 1

I’m simply logging both SE1 & 2 for my own personal reasons. Mainly for dialogue. The dialogue will only include MC’s.  Rika: Do you believe in the afterworld? This is what V and I believe. Well, it’s actually more like I believe what V thinks... It’s a bit different from what my religion tells me. When my body dies... my soul becomes free and can go anywhere. It can go across dimensions to a world where anything is possible. What should I call that place? Heaven... maybe? And... when I go to heaven, I can meet other souls that have lived with me, and visit my friends on earth. But... because there is no body, the souls can’t feel or touch each other. My friends on earth won’t be able to feel or touch me either. So when you meet another soul in heaven and fall in love, it becomes painful. So they make a promise to each other. To have a body on earth and experience love together. V and I... might have been two souls that met in heaven. Because I feel it... It was fate. 

----------

Saeyoung: Saeran... We’re almost here. 

Saeyoung: I’m sure that’s because he doesn’t want anyone to lose their lives like Rika...  Saeyoung: MC, we’re almost here. Vanderwood will be waiting for us. Saeyoung: Yeah... I’m so afraid that I’ll lose Saeran again. MC, you know the plan, right? Don’t forget where the gun is in the car. If something happens, use it. You have to. 

---------- Saeran: ...that car...  Vanderwood: Boss, I see his car. Stand by... stand by. Over.  Saeran: Teaming up with the agency to get rid of Luciel si too cliche... But I don’t care as long as Luciel is gone. Vanderwood, you won’t be safe either. I can tell your boss was lying when he said he’ll forgive your mistake if you just take care of this.  Vanderwood: Shut up... you’re a hostage. Shouldn’t you worry about your own life right now? Who knew 707 had a twin... My damn luck!  Saeran: I knew it! Luciel never mentioned me. He just forgot all about me and focused on obeying V and having all those parties.  Vanderwood: You’re his twin, but you two are nothing alike. He isn’t serious like you. Come to think of it, he did crazy things as if he only had a day to live. Oh... he’s getting out of the car. Vanderwood: Boss, he’s on his way towards us, over.  Saeran: I never thought this is how I’d see his end... but this isn’t the worst scenario.  Vanderwood: That woman over there... she’s the one who lived in that apartment. I knew they were in love. Well, looks like she’ll have to go down too. Unfortunate, but no other option.  Vanderwood: Agent 707!! This way.  Saeyoung: Ms.Vanderwood! Long time no see! You missed me? Vanderwood: Can you still joke in a situation like this? Fine, do what you want. Where’s the info you brought?  Saeyoung: I turned it on in the car.  Vanderwood: I have to see that the info is destroyed first. And then I will safely return your hostage.  Saeyoung: You can just go check inside the car. I have to check that your hostage is safe.  Vanderwood: Do as you please. Check him right now. I didn’t touch a single hair just like you said.  Saeyoung: ....Saeran. I’m glad you don’t seem hurt... I checked the hostage. I accessed the server with my laptop in the car. Check it and delete it yourself. I’ll wait here.  Vanderwood: No, you come with me to the car.  Saeyoung: Hmm... why can’t you trust me?  Vanderwood: How can you ask that right now?  MC: Go to the car with me.  Vanderwood: Hmm...  Saeyoung: MC... Are you sure? No, I’ll just go!  Vanderwood: No, I’ll take her. You know what happens to hurt if you do something, right Agent 707?  Saeyoung: I know but Vanderwood... if you do something to her, I’m going to blow this whole place up, got it?  Vanderwood: You’re threatening me too? What... did you bring a bomb or something?  Saeyoung: As you can see, I have nothing on me. I don’t have anything to hide so just hurry.  Saeran: ... What is he up to?  Vanderwood: I’ll just have to trust him for now. Then let’s go, lady.  Saeyoung: ... They’re gone. Saeran, don’t worry. We’re going to get out of here safely.  Saeran: Say what you want. I have nothing more to say to you.  Saeyoung: There are agents here, right? Do you know how many?  Saeran: Are you asking me? How could you be so stupid? Don’t think I’m on your side.  Saeyoung: You don’t have to be on my side. I just want to make sure you’re alive. You can live and then get your revenge... for now, just think about getting out of here.  Saeran: Whether I live or die... I’ll never get your help.  Saeyoung: We don’t have much time. It’s better to get out of here together than to just die. Be logical.  Saeran: Why should I listen to you?  Saeyoung: Fine... I guess I have no choice. Please forgive me.  Saeran: What? ... Ugh!  Saeyoung: ...I’m only having you sleep for a little while.  ---------- Vanderwood: Hmm... this seems to be everything... how can I trust him? MC: *turns on the radio*  Vanderwood: What are you doing!? You didn’t implant some funny device in the car, did you!?  Radio: Vanderwood. It’s me, Agent 707.  Vanderwood: ...Why is his voice coming out of the radio!?  Radio: Don’t even think about holding the person next to you hostage. If you even touch her, I will make sure you disappear from the face of this earth so watch it. I’m serious.  Vanderwood: ...This was all a part of your plan? What are you planning?  Radio: I don’t know what deal you made with the agency. I’m sure they said they’ll put you in the high ranks or promised you a fabulous life one this taken care of. But oh no. To them, you’re just a person who knows too much If you’re smart... you should already know that they’ll just get rid of you once this is over. You just came this far because there wasn’t any way out.  Vanderwood: Don’t talk as if you know everything...  Radio: I will give you a chance to run away right here. If you open the glove box, you’ll find your new identification forms. You’re already listed in the national registry. If you just accept it, we can make sure that the agency never finds us. 

Vanderwood: Identification...? ...You hacked into the national registry? Are you insane?  Radio: ...Right now, I’ve left the person most important to me in your hands. This is the only chance for you to live. The Vanderwood I know wouldn’t refuse this. If you understand, tell your boss everything is okay, and then drive the car towards me.  Vanderwood: ...Damn it.  Radio: This car is bulletproof. Then you see you later.  MC: Hurry and make the decision.  Vanderwood: Damn... Shit... Boss, it’s Vanderwood. I encountered a security lock while deleting the data in the car. Requesting permission to approach Agent 707, over.  Vanderwood: Yes, sir. On my way towards him, over.  Vanderwood: I have no other choice now. It’s life or death now...! I guess... this will be a less painful way to die.  Saeyoung: Vanderwood!! Take him in! Hurry!!  Vanderwood: What? Why is he, unconscious?!  Saeyoung: Hurry!!  *gun shots* 

Saeyoung: Ugh!  Vanderwood: Are you just gonna stand there!?  Saeyoung: Take Saeran in! Hurry!!  Vanderwood: Hey lady! Drive!  Saeyoung: MC!!! Lower your head so you don’t get hurt!  Vanderwood: Just take care of your own life!!!  Saeyoung: Done!!  Vanderwood: Step on it! Hurry!!  ----------  707 has entered the chatroom.  707: We saved Saeran...  707: Jumin,  707: don’t do anything yet.  707: I’ll come back with more details later.  ----------  Saeyoung: Ugh... damn it.  Vanderwood: You’re still alive. This is a miracle. Thank god the bullet just brushed you. Don’t you have that powerful guy in the RFA? Shouldn’t you contact him first?  Saeyoung: We have to stall a bit more here. If we move, the agency will find us.  Vanderwood: I know, but shouldn’t we take that risk? Or just spread info about the agency online. Let them self-destruct.  Saeyoung: Then everyone in the agency including the innocent ones will be sacrificed.  Vanderwood: If you damage your shoulders for good, you’ll never be able to type again! Since when did you care about them?  Saeyoung: I’m keeping the info... I can go see a doctor once we’re safe.  Vanderwood: I can’t believe you right now...  Saeyoung: Well... now I have two people to protect... haha.  Vanderwood: How can you laugh right now? And I guess I don’t count in that two.  Saeyoung: Thank you for deciding to get us out, Vanderwood. We’d all have been dead without you...  Vanderwood: No need to thank me. I didn’t do it for you... I trust this ID is real.  Saeyoung: Of course, who do you think I am? I’ll tell you the code so type it in for me. The agency just changed the algorithm. I need to hack in but I can’t type right now...  Vanderwood: Okay, go ahead.  Saeran: ...Ugh... where...? 

Vanderwood: He’s awake.  Saeyoung: Saeran..! Ow...  Vanderwood: I get that it’s an emotional reunion, but don’t strain yourself.  Saeran: Where... where am I?  Vanderwood: Are you awake? You wake up and find that you’re rescued. So lucky, no?  Saeran: Why are you two together!? What happened?  Vanderwood: Oh... I betrayed the agency and ran away with your brother and sister-in-law. We’re still on the run.  Saeyoung: Sister-in-law? Nice. Saeran: ...You two are on the same team? God... where are my things?  Vanderwood: Probably with the agency.  Saeyoung: Saeran...  Vanderwood: Hey, why do you tear up every time you see your brother? I was kind of touched when you took that bullet earlier. Never knew you had that in you. I talked with your brother a bit when I kidnapped him... but he is seriously furious with you. What the hell did you guys fight about? I mean, he seemed to think of you as his arch-enemy or something.  Saeyoung: There was a misunderstanding.  Saeran: Ha... my computer, my computer... isn’t here.  Vanderwood: Why? What do you want to do? Saeran: ... Saeyoung: Saeran, can we talk? Saeran: ...I have nothing to say to you.  Saeyoung: Saeran...  Saeran: Hey, kidnapper. I feel like I’m suffocating... I need some fresh air...  Vanderwood: Did you just call me kidnapper?  Saeyoung: It’s still dangerous outside.  Vanderwood: He can’t go out! What if he runs away?  Saeyoung: Even if he goes out, he won’t be able to do anything. Right, Saeran?  Vanderwood: Well... I guess. Oh, just don’t go further than the tree in front of the cabin. The satellite will be able to sense you if you go further.  Saeran: I’ll just stay right outside. Give me a cig.  Vanderwood: Here...  Saeyoung: Saeran...  Saeran: ...  Vanderwood: He left. It’s obvious he doesn’t want to talk to you. Just leave him. At least you can see him, right? What time is it right now... Did you see my phone? Forgot where I put it.  Saeyoung: Let’s hack into the agency first. This is more important.  Vanderwood: Okay.  ---------- Saeran: ....God. I’ll just pretend this phone is mine right now. Turn on the GPS... checking location... and then phone call... Hurry... pick up. The coordinates are 16.27352, 21.26592. I am with Luciel, his assistant... and that new woman. If we get rid of these three, Mint Eye will be safe. Please send back up. I will stall for time until the morning.  Saeran: ...Turning GPS and service off again... Luciel... You will have to pay your life for tricking me. And your assistant and that woman... those two will be invited to heaven. 

---------- Saeyoung: Do you have all your things?  MC: Yes, but I don’t feel good about this...  Saeyoung: You don’t? Saeyoung: Then I should check my weapons again. Robot cat, switch to battery saving mode.  Vanderwood: Let’s check our schedule again.  Saeyoung: You remember the log you saw yesterday? The agency is tracking us like crazy. And they are upgrading their whole security system. You read that document saying that the update will start in the next hour sharp and last for two hours, right?  Vanderwood: Yeah, it had the chief’s signature, so it’s real.  Saeyoung: Meanwhile, we’re going to get out of here and go to Jumin.  Vanderwood: Okay. So we have to leave... around 28 minutes from now. 

Saeyoung: Yes.  Vanderwood: ...Alright. Your brother hasn’t been saying anything. You sure we can just take him?  Saeyoung: ...I don’t really know how I can approach him right now.  Vanderwood: I wouldn’t even want to talk to him if I were you. You both are strange. No wonder you’re brothers.  Saeran: ...  Saeyoung: Saeran... are you hurt anywhere?  Saeran: Just leave me alone.  Saeyoung: I know you’re misunderstanding things about me. Some day you’ll know the truth... You’ll know that it was V and not me all along...  Saeran: You always like to give excuses, so that you’re never the one to blame.  Vanderwood: Guess he’s answering now.  Saeyoung: I would never have left you if I knew this would happen... Never. Now that I’m finally with you again, I don’t want to ever let you go. I’m going to stay with you and explain everything. I won’t give up. I know that we can go back to how things were... We got through so many things relying on each other.  Saeran: ...I don’t want to hear anymore. Just shut up.  Saeyoung: Saeran... ugh...  Vanderwood: Hey... is your arm okay? It’s not bleeding...but you should get out of here and go to the hospital. Thank God the bullet just grazed you.  Saeyoung: Yeah...  Vanderwood: Wh...what!? Who’s knocking!?  Saeyoung: ...Who is it?  Vanderwood: It must be someone from the agency. Are you sure you can run? Saeyoung: We have to. First... get your weapons out. MC, come behind me. Ugh...  Vanderwood: Don’t hold anything with that arm...! What do we do? Should I just start shooting?  Saeyoung: We can’t have anyone die here...  Saeran: ...Move over.  Vanderwood: Hey! Stay still!  Saeyoung: Saeran!? What are you doing?  Saeran: Back off, traitors!  Vanderwood: Damn it...! You don’t think...!  Saeran: ...You’re just in time. What... Why are you here!?  Vanderwood: Isn’t he... one of yours?  V: ...Saeyoung. 

[razieltwelve]

The Hamster (Fate/Stay Night/Final Effect)

There were a great many timelines where Rin Tohsaka’s attempt to summon a Sabre went awry. This was one of them. It was also the only timeline in which she summoned a hamster.

Fortunately for Rin, however, it was no ordinary hamster.

X     X     X

Rin assumed she must have done something absolutely awful in a past life. It was the only way to explain how she’d summoned a hamster as her Servant in the Grail War. Sure, the little guy was incredibly adorable, but what on earth was she supposed to do with him? If the situation weren’t so dire, she might actually have laughed. As it was, she wanted to cry.

She probably would have too, if an enemy Servant hadn’t chosen that exact moment to ambush her on her way home from school.

“You might want to duck,” Professor Cuddleborough drawled.

By some miracle of magic, Rin could understand the hamster she’d summoned. From what she’d seen so far, he was cute, cuddly, and came with a dry sense of humour. He also had good instincts.

She ducked.

And a spear went through the space her head had occupied a split-second later.

“Not bad,” Lancer said as Rin rolled away and then leapt back to put some distance between them. “But I’m afraid this is where the Grail War ends for you.” He shrugged and gave her an apologetic smile. “Sorry but my master’s orders were quite clear. It’s a pity you’ve only got a hamster to fight for you. I would have liked a challenge, but orders are orders.” He took up a fighting stance. “I’ll make it quick. I can do that much.”

“Hmmm…” Professor Cuddleborough hopped out of her pocket and landed on the ground in front of her. “You might want to take as step back, Rin.”

“What? Why?” Rin’s heart was beating so fast she was afraid she was going to faint. The only thing standing between her and certain death was a hamster! She was so screwed.

“Because I’m about to show you what makes me different from a normal hamster.” Professor Cuddleborough struck a pose. “For I am no mere hamster… I am… a war hamster!”

“A war hamster?” Rin wailed. “What does that even me?”

Lancer blurred forward…

There was a flash of light, and the Servant was suddenly flying backward. He flew through the air, smashing through a streetlight before continuing to tumble end over end until he hit the next streetlight and thudded to a stop in the wall behind it, hitting the wall with enough force to leave a crater in it.

“Hmmm…” Professor Cuddleborough’s voice was suddenly much deeper… and he was much larger. Instead of the cute and cuddly hamster that had spent the day in Rin’s pocket, he was now the size of a tank and covered in advanced power armour that absolutely bristled with weaponry. Lowering the enormous paw he’d used to bat Lancer away like a pingpong ball, the colossal hamster gave a sound of acknowledgement. “Not bad. You were able to block with your spear at the last moment. Otherwise, I’d have ripped you in half.”

Far away, Lancer stumbled to his feet. His chest was a mangled wreck, and his spear bore the marks of huge claws. Somehow, though, he managed to retain an air of confidence.

“Oh? A giant hamster? I can’t say I’ve ever faced one before.” Lancer chuckled. “I’ll admit you took me by surprise. But you’re no mere beast. That strike wasn’t simply powerful and swift… your technique was excellent.”

Professor Cuddleborough chuckled. “Well, you’re definitely one of the better spearmen I’ve faced in my life although I’d have to fight you properly to see how you really rank.” He stomped on the ground, and the concrete cracked. “Although if we were to fight properly, it wouldn’t be just my claws you’d have to worry about.” On his back, a pair of cannons began to whirr, the ominous glow coming from them hinting at their power.

“Hmmm…” Lancer’s eyes narrowed. “It seems my master has seen enough. I’ve got to run for it.” He nodded at Rin. “It seems you’ve managed to summon a formidable Servant after all.” And then he was gone, vanishing in a blur of motion.

“…” Rin looked at her Servant. “A war hamster? I think you need to tell me a little bit more about who you are and where you’re from.”

X     X     X

“Yes,” Rin said. “He is apparently a war hamster from something called the Arendelle Empire that is, I think, an empire from another galaxy in another universe.”

“He’s a giant hamster.” Shirou stared at Professor Cuddleborough. The massive hamster had come to his and Sabre’s aid during their scuffle with Berserker. He had forced the other Servant to retreat although that had done nothing to quell Shirou’s curiosity. Berserker’s master had known who he was…

“He is a truly noble beast.” Sabre had spent the last ten minutes running her hands through Professor Cuddleborough’s fur before simply giving in and wrapping her arms around the huge hamster, so she could bury her face in his fur. “A truly noble beast indeed.”

Professor Cuddleborough simply gave Rin an amused smile. This was, evidently, not the first time he’d experienced this. “We should be head home,” he said. “I’d rather not use any of my bigger guns in such a crowded area.”

“He has guns?” Shirou asked.

“I’m basically the equivalent of super-advanced heavy artillery,” the hamster replied. “Where I come from if you need something really, really dead, then you send in a war hamster. We’re often the first into battle and usually the last to leave.”

X     X     X

Author’s Notes

Although many hamsters over the years have carried the name of Professor Cuddleborough, this particular war hamster is the most famous of the lot. During his life, he earned the nickname “The Cuddle Hammer” due to his incredible war record. A hero famous through the Arendelle Empire, his deeds in combat were unmatched even amongst war hamsters, and he distinguished himself in countless battles.

Perhaps his most famous feat was singlehandedly saving the life of the emperor after the emperor’s dreadnought was brought down by Grimm during a massive battle. Heroically standing guard over the wounded emperor, the Professor Cuddleborough fought endless waves of Grimm for the better part of three days before reinforcements finally arrived. 

In the Empire’s long and stories history, it is not an exaggeration to say that he might be its most famous war hamster.

In the Fifth Grail War, Professor Cuddleborough was summoned by Rin Tohsaka. He is classified as an Archer due to the overwhelming ranged weaponry at his disposal due to his super-advanced power armour, which was the finest such armour in the Arendelle Empire during his lifetime.

However, as a war hamster, his physical prowess is unreal compared to a human, even a Servant. As a war hamster, he is fully capable of shrugging of artillery even without his power armour, and he can fight giant Grimm barehand. His stats are as follows:

Strength: A++ Endurance: EX Agility: A++ Mana: A++ Luck: A Noble Phantasm: EX

Abilities

For the Empire. Professor Cuddleborough once famously claimed that “As long the still Empire stands, I cannot fall… and as long as I still stand, the Empire cannot fall!” In life, he was a hamster of unshakeable faith and determination, which allowed him to emerge victorious in situations that would have defeated countless others. The greater his belief in the cause he fights for, the stronger he will become. 

Cuddle Factor. Despite his immense combat power, Professor Cuddleborough is a descendant of Professor Cuddles, the cutest, most adorable hamster in history, and he is said to resemble him a great deal. Cuddle Factor grants him an A+ in charisma since all who look upon him will be captivated by his cuteness and adorability should he wish it. 

Mind of the Dia-Farron. As one of the greatest war hamsters in history, Professor Cuddleborough was also a scientific genius with intellect capable of matching even the illustrious Dia-Farron of the Empire. He can easily understand and replicate any technology that he is likely to come across.

Noble Phantasms

Power Armour. The power armour that Professor Cuddleborough uses is unique power armour that was crafted by the finest minds of the Empire using the finest materials in the galaxy. It is considered by many to be the greatest suit of power armour ever donned by a war hamster. In practical terms, the combined nuclear arsenal of the Earth could be launched at it, and they’d be lucky to scratch the paint. Given how much time he spent battling Grimm, it is also designed to withstand more esoteric attacks. When activated to its full extent, it can withstand even planet-buster level attacks.

Power Armour Arsenal. The offensive capabilities of his power armour are equal to its defensive capabilities. His default weapons include plasma cannons, laser cannons, warp claws, missiles pods, and gravity lances. However, he can scale up to weapons designed to break planets if necessary.

Once again, Rin manages to luck out when summoning a Servant. Sure, he’s a hamster, but he’s quite possibly the most badass hamster who ever lived from a galaxy full of badass hamsters.

You can find me on fanfiction.net, AO3, and Amazon.

[brynandchristopher]

Back in nam...

A lot has changed since I was last in Nam… I’ll try to explain but I don’t think you’ll get it… YOU WEREN’T THERE!

I came to Vietnam 2.5 years ago with my Father, affectionately known as Wan. Wan had a special business trip scheduled here and I was headed home from Nepal and we decided to link up. We stayed primarily in the Saigon (AKA: Ho Chi Minh City) area and farther down south on the beach. However, we did a short 4 day stint up to Hanoi and Ha Long Bay - a trip that enthralled me and was the main reason I wanted to return to this fabulous place. So here we are, exploring The North.

Since we last posted we have been in one area of the country, the Ha Giang Province. Vietnamese is a tonal language and we have learned that the pronunciations of a lot of the words, with their accents, are very much so not-phonetic. Ha Giang is pronounced more like Ha Zahn. The Ha Giang province is the northernmost part of Vietnam, on the border of China (see the map we included). The far north of Vietnam is very famous for its beautiful mountain landscapes. Sapa, the main city in the North has exploded with tourism over the past couple of decades and from what we’ve heard, is quite over-developed and has lost a lot of its cultural charm. We wanted to head up north but wanted to avoid the massive crowds and less-than-authentic cultural experiences. In the months leading up to the trip, my mother, affectionately known as Mama, linked me to some pictures of Ha Giang, noting its stunning landscapes. We looked in to Ha Giang and discovered that it hosts what many claim to be the best motorbiking circuit in all of Asia. So we came to do just that.

We took a 14 hour overnight sleeper bus from Cat Ba island to Ha Giang and arrived to the small city at 4 in the morning. The sleeper busses here are quite silly - they make them relatively comfortable and give you lots of blankets, turn off the lights etc. But the bus drivers lay on the horn the entire drive and loudly talk on their cellphones at 2am. So having half-slept we sauntered out of the bus station looking for a place to rest up before we set off - a guy named Chu approached us and asked us if we needed help finding our hotel and we explained we didn’t have a place booked. He kindly offered to let us sleep for free at his almost-completed hostel. After a few real hours of sleep, Chu and his sister made us breakfast and helped us rent a motorcycle and we were off.

We had seen pictures and were expecting this to be a really cool ride but hot damn, Ha Giang was really beyond anything we could’ve anticipated. The loop took us four days to complete, at around 80 kilometers per day up and down winding mountain passes and through little farming villages. Over and over again we were awestruck by the insane landscape views we would get from the tops of the mountains - I couldn’t get over how beautiful it was. The mountains are all made of karst limestone, that used to be submerged in the ocean some 150+ million years ago. Apparently being under the ocean, along with the climate conditions makes for super rich fertile soil because the amount of plant cover and diversity was unreal. The mountains were incredibly precipitous but hardly an inch was uncovered by wild forest or steppes cut in for farmland. Our first night it was starting to get dark and we pulled off to this little motel homestay place just outside the town of Yen Minh. The man who greeted us spoke not a single word of English. This made for a pretty funny time as we negotiated the price of the room and dinner by pointing at different bills and did thumbs up or thumbs downs. He brought us to his house just down the road for dinner where he and his wife had made us a feast. They made ginger beef, tofu in tomato sauce, fried pork and pork fat, bean sprouts in some strange sauce, mustard greens, some kind of really strong homemade soy sauce, 20 pounds of rice and 2 bia (beer). They talked to us the whole time in incessant Vietnamese and strange undecipherable hand-signs. It was fascinating trying to communicate with people who literally don’t know any common words and totally hilarious, the four of us were laughing the entire dinner. We had some green tea after dinner and were able to figure out they were 51 years old - we were unable to figure out their names.

The next night we stayed up on a hill above the town of Dong Van. This homestay was run by a nice family who we could actually talk to. We went in to the town for dinner and ate local foods, rice porridge and bamboo shoot noodle soup. When we returned a large group of people had arrived at the homestay and were staying in the upstairs dorm area. It was fun to hang out with them for a while and we even met a guy from Utah! The Ha Giang loop is not super popular with tourists yet, primarily due to road conditions and the need to be a decent motorcyclist to do it safely. These people were doing a tour with guides where they all road on the backs of bikes and locals drove them. They stayed up late singing Vietnamese covers of American pop songs and taking shots the local corn wine known as “happy water” - it was pretty funny but also very loud.

The next day was Thanksgiving, which was pretty sad for us not being home with our families. However, this was the best day of the trip view wise. We drove through Ma Pe Lung Pass which honestly was probably top 3 greatest views I’ve had in my entire life. We got a hot chocolate at a coffee bar built out over a cliff and took in the view and let the rain pass. A couple of hours later we had our Thanksgiving lunch, bun cha, one of the many variations on "noodle soup” that makes up what seems to be 50% of all Vietnam dishes. Bun Cha is my favorite of the noodle soups I’ve had here. We finished the day in Du Gia where we stopped for the night. Our homestay offered dinner and showed us the menu, which was around 15 different things. We looked at it and told them yes, we would like dinner and the choices of what we wanted, they were confused and explained to us that dinner was all 15 of those things. Christmas miracles get a lot of hype, but this Thanksgiving miracle was supreme. We made some other traveler friends from Ireland and Germany and ate our massive Thanksgiving feast family style together. We definitely missed the mashed potatoes and gravy, but the french fries and chili sauce were a good stand in :). It was our turn to drink the happy water, and the Irish gently forced us to keep drinking beers with them. It was an awesome night and softened the sorrow of being away from our families for Thanksgiving. Our Thanksgiving reflection was directed primarily at how beautiful the landscape was that day, and how lucky we were to be there, but more generally how lucky we are to be on a trip such as this. We are incredibly privileged to be traveling the world with each other, and for that we are truly grateful.

Our final day was beautiful just as the others, but was a bit more of a drag. We had been pushing through the butt pain throughout the trip but with the finish line in sight it became a more pressing annoyance. The last night’s excess of happy water didn’t help. We made it safely back to Ha Giang and took long hot showers and got in fresh clothes. We essentially packed one outfit each for the four days to reduce the weight that Bryn had to carry on her back the whole time. The next day we took two different busses south across what was nearly half of Vietnam to our current location, Phong Nha. Phong Nha is a relatively unexplored region of Vietnam that hosts the worlds largest cave. We will spend the next couple of days spelunking before heading farther south along the coast. :)

Peace,

Christopher and Bryn

[quanticlub]

Long Lore Rant

... Needs to be reformatted into something pretty rip

Background:

Aight so as per the great and infallible wikipedia, Taoist cosmology states that everything started with wújí and then created yǒu jí. The former means limitless and comes from the words "nothingness" and "reaching the end" ... so nothingness at the end aka no boundaries

the latter was the limited. it's only briefly mentioned as its conception brought on a polarity to the universe - yin and yang

taiji itself is the boundary embodied by you-ji with respect to the infinite wuji and represents the Absolute

The split into yin and yang has a the connotations listed above in the pic ((except... for tikki and plagg the feminine vs masculine seem to be switched cuz from the description, tikki is more closely associated with yang)). Yang is represented by one long dash –– while yin is two small broken ones - - . Now, in the middle column where there are category names for what yin and yang represent the wu xing category (elements, second from the bottom) has earth listed as neither. It also doesn't include air, which the wu xing doesnt include in general but is included by almost every other major culture when classifying the elements.

Kwami Origins: Null

In the beginning there was a great big nothingness and then came a tiny blip of umm... everythingness? making the Absolute. This gave the nothingness and everythingness a consciousness. (wow lots of -ness words here). The nothingness part of the absolute became Null. The everythingness got no name cuz it quickly split off into the rest of creation.

Null's concept art is a three-eyed little creature with two kwami tendrils.  I propose Null as the glowing white kwami they originally made but with all black eyes and The Other One as the all black kwami but with glowing white eyes. The prior emptiness/nothingness was energy while the delineation/everythingnes was matter(?). when they created the Absolute, parts of themselves mixed i na typical yin-yang fashion, thus the eyes being like those of the others. This gave them power over the nature of the other sorta???? hard to explain

 For Null, he had power over mass, time, and space - matter is anything that has mass and takes up space at a given moment. The Other One (imma call them Higgs bc of the Higgs boson particle but it wouldnt be the real name) had power over tendencies of energy*. So. energy can be used up to build something (creative force - in human metabolism it's an anabolic reaction), released to tear something apart (destructive force - in human metabolism it's a catabolic reaction). bBt it can also be stored/dissipate with no specific purpose, instead being available for all sorts of possible things later (chaotic force?)

idea is that Higgs, upon consciousness, sacrificed themselves to give rise to existence. The Big Bang. they justs sorta fucked off to become a bunch of cool rocks/stardust floating in space and initiated the course of time (which could theoretically be split into different timelines? idk time travel is weird and this is superfluous to my current ramble)

the three aspects of Null that Higgs had gained powers from became concepts that would gain sentience of their own. The yin and yang markings are, technically, three lines. not two. cuz yin is split ( –– vs - - ).

* = this bit's a little less science-y except for keeping with the triad thing bc neutron, electron, and proton

Three, Not Two: Tikki, Plagg, & ...Hexx?

I imagine Null took up the developing concepts and nurtured them sorta. like they were incubating under Null's protection. Tikki emerged out of Null's sphere first; she had the most power from Higgs though all three were pretty closely matched. she was the creative force. 

Plagg came out of Null's sphere last. He was the destructive force. Sorta. It was actually coser to... decay?  Plagg is really more of a kwami of decay than destruction. He doesnt just obliterate things, he accelerates their decomposition. when his powers act on metal, for instance, it rusts. thats not destruction it's just the wear-and-tear expected to happen over time. Destruction as a concept opposite to that of Creation and Order involves more entropy and plagg really isnt as chaotic as would be expected. While he represents destruction in the sense that the thing is ceasing to function as a unit, the chaos would fall more under hexx.

The third force, the one that embodied possibility, was too erratic. they got out of Null's care first but remained in the sphere for a while longer. they didn't get out til after Tikki. I'm thinking maybe  emerged from Null's domain just a few seconds before Plagg (time is still wonky at this point). while Tikki is yang ( –– ), Plagg and #3, henceforth referred to as Hexx, are both yin ( - - ). Plagg is slightly weaker cuz he was "overcooked" and Hexx was "undercooked". Tikki came out just right like a yummy batch of cookies ;)

While Plagg is the biggest cuz he stayed with Null for so long, Hexx is the smallest. Even more so than Tikki but only by a little. I was thinking of him looking like a mix of Tikki and Plagg. More cat-like but with red accents and maybe blue eyes instead of green.

That’s the gist of it with a quick reminder note that time still affects kwamis differently like they mentioned in Sandboy or whatever. so they might be around ten billion years old be the time earth shows up but theyve been very immature. like little kids. and unlike kids that go to school to learn how things work, they were given immense amounts of power and 0 instruction so they have to figure out what they can do, what their identity is, and what purpose they want to have in existence

Tikki has a very do-good attitude and wants to help (even if shes proven sometimes she doesnt give the best advice) and be a Good Kwami. But Plagg isn't a bad kwami. The opposite of love isn't hate after all; it's apathy. Plagg just doesnt really care and will follow Tikki around bc he enjoys her company and his primary concern is himself. Oblivio was a good example of this cuz he's like "no fuck you whats in it for me" but still gets affected by tikki's words and comes back to do as she says eventually.

Hexx would be the "bad apple" though kwamis dont really have moralities cuz those were human constructs and are incredibly subjective. He wouldnt be hatred in the analogy with love, but rather fire-y emotions that are still more negative. quick anger and stuff. usually happy go-lucky. temperamental goes with the nature of being THE force of chaos. while he doesnt wanna help necessarily, he still wants to DO. he's the one that instigates mischief and wants to fuck around for the fun of it.

Making the Miraculous

So from the dinosaur ordeal we know the kwamis DID have effects on earth, but they couldnt consistently intervene - at least not in a controlled fashion. and they couldnt really communicate with humans cuz different field of existence. but their presence became known even if the humans didnt know what they were exactly

the set from the miracle box was made my a mage in china for the purpose of conquests. Hexx’s mischief and meddling probably gave the humans access to the magic/knowledge/whatever they’d need for making the Miraculous. The pitch to get these baby gods to agree was that tikki would have greater control of her powers and could communicate and help! tikki was down. It seemed like a Good Thing and she wanted to do good. Plagg was meh but might as well cuz tikki insisted. hexx wasn't convinced. they werent warned theyd be confined to the miraculous and essentially trapped. plaggs agreement was more out of ignorance of this fact. he figured he could make tikki happy but still fuck off to do what he wanted. never imagined that he'd be subject to another's will. 

tikki was happy regardless bc very young (developmentally) and naive and honestly believing that the human knew best and it's what was best for both the kwamis and humanity. she had so much power her jewel had to be split into two - thus, earrings. all other kwamis inhabit a singular miraculous.

when hexx was being trapped it was against his will, unlike plagg and the others. he fought it. he still got trapped but the miraculous wasnt like the others. the nature was different... it was corrupted. Cue: cursed miraculous(es) ((still not sure of the plural)). If he has to suffer then by Null so do the humans who did this. Thus the name Hexx. Opened the option for kwamis to try to fight it or go for it. Werewolves perhaps stem from a group of cursed canid kwamis? The Miracle Box is basically the kwamis who were aight with the idea but other cursed kwamis exist. 

The nature of a miraculous depends on the "recipe" used to make the jewels and the kwami's receptiveness to being basically enslaved. The Miracle Box miraculous were all made by the same mage mentioned earlier so they had the same recipe so to speak. All the kwamis in the miracle box fall under yin or yang. Including the elements. So the Zodiac and Wu Xing kwamis are all in either tikki or plagg's domains. Except for one. I propose trixx as the exception, even if they dont fit the traits of earth. i was thinking for the other supporting kwami to hexx there could be one that also refused to join the mage... the kwami representing air (wu xing is basically the only philosophy without air as an element in some shape or form). Possible name: Jinxx, a crow. The fox/crow/cat are all typical tricksters in myths. 

The way the kwamis’ powers can be manipulated varies and the cursed kwamis offer the least control to their wielders - and the greatest side effects. I imagine jinxx just fucks off to follow hexx's miraculous, wherever it may be. Hexx is closer to the original curse on pv chat noir... the curse is possibly activated and summoned by the use of tikki or plagg's powers outside their miraculous? And dormant after death of wielder or kiss from LB or something. So that would mean Plagg activated him in style queen and then helping him get a better location/target with the smaller cataclysm in i think catalyst (when he's like "ive been practicing!).

Together, plagg and tikki have that OP wish granting ability but they cant truly summon Null to the this dimension without Hexx, who adamantly refuses. it's not like Hexx's miraculous can be stolen cuz it's cursed onto the subject. As a summary of combined powers... Tikki + Plagg = wish granting? ... Hexx + Tikki = good luck ... Hexx + Plagg = bad luck ... cuz Hexx is about possibility and consequences. So creation-related effects tend to manifest as what humans deem to be good while destruction-related ones are seen as bad.

Hexx Making an Appearance

For the current Mari/Adri plot I thought of Hexx cursing Felix or sth and bringing him onto the hero scene. Comes with the benefit of jealous CN. Maybe a scene where cat-ish Felix tells Chat Noir that he’s not interested in LB, only Mari and they have some sorta agreement to respect that (would work best in the half brother’s thing if Adri found out). All hell would break loose if/when LBs identity came out.

 Also I like the idea of Hexx having been locked in Pandora's jar with other angry ~cursed~ miraculous and the others immediately fucked off and scattered their miraculous but Hexx remained. possibility and consequence does not mean bad things. it's the uncertainty of the future that allows for hope, which is what pandora found. the greek tales also have varying connotations on whether finding hope was a blessing or a curse depending on how you looked at it