#he was like do u want me to give it to him like OK nepo baby we get it you have a bunk bed with the guy

[azacello]

it can. he walked in on me crying (sobbing) in the surgery office

2 m tall american med student walked in yesterday, both parents surgeons, other surgeons walking into the operating room just to say hi to him bc of his famous dad. it acc could not get worse im afraid

[glennquackmire]

I'm suuper bored right neow so here's some stuff about the diner au

-the diner is called juniors

WHICH WAS NOT MY IDEA IT WAS @/coca-coeli 's AND I THINK ITS SOO cute so I think I'm gonna stick with it if that's ok

-the shepards are in this au but they don't work in the diner or in the restaurant they work at bucks which will EITHER be pretty much the same as in the book OR one of those sea themed fish and chip places LITERALLY just because I think it would be funny if they worked there (I have more on this but I'm gonna skip to the next point)

-when I say it's a modern au I mean anytime between 2000s to now becausee idk what I wanna go with

-I mightve already said this one but Paul is the manager of the soc restaurant

-Dallas only works there because darry is making him or he's not allowed in the house but he literally cannot be trusted to cook and darry is NOT letting him near customers so he's a dish washer

-Sodapop is SO good with customers like its crazy

-Steve is the head cook and he takes it SOO seriously he runs that kitchen like the navy do NOT talk to him during rush hour he's a freak

-Two bit is USUALLY a server but he frequently gets banned from it because he likes to fuck w the customers so he spends half his time in the kitchen (he's actually secretly really good at making food)

-Bob SHOULD also be banned from even being within a 100ft distance of customers but for some reason he's not (people in his section are abt to experience hell on earth)

-actually there is a reason in this au him and Paul are cousins (no reason for this I just felt like it ngl) so he gets away w more (nepo baby)

-the restaurant doesn't really have a name,,,I was going to just go with Holdens or something but idk give me suggestions if u want

-scout is also here!!! because I love her and she's underrated.shes a line cook

-cherry is also a server for now idk I might change it and she's actually good at her job when she's not gossiping in the corner w marcia (I kinda just wanted to mention cherry I love her soo much)

-the two restaurants are located DIRECTLY across from eachother (literallythe chum bucket and krusty krab)

Ok I'm out of things to say for now I think also I haven't worked in a restaurant like ever so if any of this is like factually incorrect just remember all my info comes from bistro huddy

[alienboy51]

i'm going to put my angry thoughts about scooter's current characterization here. because i'm mad about it. and i cannot stop thinking about that little tyke

*note this was from like, last night and my thoughts have evolved even further and i could potentially flesh this out more. i will not do that at this current moment. but i could

literally what happened to scooter's characterization? he was a rebellious kid, now he is just. anxious all the time or something. or just a loser. or he has no personality at all. scooter should be one of the easiest characters to write, he's a nepo baby who has never been told no, he literally guilt trips his boss into giving him what he wants. my boy needs a talking to. but like that. WAS TAKEN AWAY FOR SOME REASON? i think making him a little nerd was cute and good but like... 😒 u had to take away every other part of his personality? u had to make him un-mean? for why? what reason?

ok for example: there was an episode of the muppet show where a running gag was scooter roller skating around the theater, even though there was a rule against it "for some dumb reason" (his words not mine), but like. current day scooter would never do that i guess. the little rebellious teen is gone. WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM. OK like another example, in the muppets 2015 there was an episode where he wanted to be like... badass or something? so he asked janice to pierce his ears. but he... couldn't get through it without flinching? when it wasn't even touching him? 🤨 there's so much wrong with his characterization in 2015, that part doesn't even really stick out to me, (because there were worse parts) i just cannot stand how he was portrayed. but like 70s-80s scooter would not DO that. scooter would be so excited to get his ears pierced. just let him be a stupid kid. or like scratch that i guess since they're all being portrayed as older now, just let him be stupid period. let him be a little snarky and stuff. that's who he's SUPPOSED to be. u can let him be more mature too and not a LITERAL MANCHILD (i really hate 2015 scooter)

[forsakenmissives]

just need to work this all out

ok so im unemployed fresh college grad atm and ive got job apps sent in and even an interview lined up but that interview is in the town my dad is in so im staying with my dad but in the time ive spent waiting for that date ive been with an employment agency but the job that place sent me to was the absolute worst and my mental health has plummeted to the point that i’m getting physically sick both bc of the job and bc i feel like i have to keep looking over my shoulder with my dad right there.

i skipped work saturday and today which is insanely immature but i cant think im struggling to sleep and eat bc of this and today i emailed the agency saying i wish to end our agreement. they said they wished i gave a notice (tbf i thought i had when i was like “i’m moving away” on saturday.. but whatever. actually not whatever — that shouldntve been discounted and im not entirely at fault here) but that they wish me the best and i said thank you and sorry for the inconvenience.

earlier last week when i told dad this job is really bad for me he told me to stay working there until i get another job secured. i did not do that and now im terrified of telling him that i quit bc i dont know what hes going to do plus i dont want to talk about it with him i just want to be left alone

also this interview ive got lined up is for a really great company however i dread working there bc that means i have to stay with dad. i want to go back to where i used to live. also i dont like that one of the high up workers there is friends with my dad. being a nepo baby is great unless the nepo comes from my dad. i dont trust him to not keep tabs on me and i dont want him knowing what ive been doing or where ive been. not that im doing anything illegal i just want him to fuck off, yknow?

all of this leads back to the problem ive always had in that hes a huge control freak who needs to know everything going on in my life and i cant escape. my mom got out through the divorce but im still stuck here and i cant leave either bc even if i cant breathe with him and his wife and their kids i love my paternal grandparents and aunt and uncle. im just so paranoid and anxious and i feel like i cant breathe

im so sick of disappointing people but also the stuff my dad is proud of me about is stuff im not that proud of. its like i just cant win with him.

oh and paranoia aside i dont want to owe him anything bc he used to ignore me for months despite me calling and messaging him constantly (to the point that my mom was like “do you even love me? do you even want to be here do you even care?”) when he took me out for dinner one of the times he decided to acknowledge me he said he’d pay for a field trip (past the time the fee was due so i had to get special permission from the teacher) then the next week he said i only talk to him when i need money so actually no hes not giving me anything. WHAT. and then a couple years later he was like “i never got to be your parent you never let me be your dad :(“ and when i was like “why” he was like “i had to always go have fun with you instead of discipline you bc i didnt want our time together to be all sad and me getting mad at you” like again. WHAT.

he said that bc i was like “i was rly hurt when you said i only come to u for money bc i reached out to u a lot and u never replied”. so. idk what to do with that but i still dont rly understand the argument from him here. but yeah i was like rly hurt and then he started crying talking about how he never got to be my dad even tho i was like 19 when this convo happened so he had 19 years to try and didnt and its rly unfair that im supposed to feel guilty for denying him this even tho i was the child and he had total control he could decide what to do with me and he chose wrong and now hes taking it out on me here in this restaurant. ok.

its so fucked cuz now im like so was i doing something wrong all those times we were tgt? like idk im just scared around him bc i dont ever know if im doing something wrong bc he wont tell me or maybe he will or maybe he . idk i just cant sit still yknow?

also his wife is racist and ive got to deal with microaggressions from her. and hes a pastor

anyway i just needed to get that all out there to feel a bit less crazy. thank you for coming to my ted talk ✌️😗

OH YEAH. and he makes me feel stupid all the fucking time like i dont need a job right now. i Should get one but i dont have a mortgage im not buying groceries i dont need to pay for insurance I DONT NEED A JOB. but he told me to stay in this shitass job bc i need it. dude it had me out in the sun all day (ALL DAY) paying $10/hr and had me coming home genuinely thinking about killing myself. not even bc of the physical labor but bc it was so under-stimulating like i was in my head all day no music no interesting surroundings no conversation nothing for me to solve. and he was all like “well sometimes we have to do work that we don’t like” YEAH I FUCKING KNOW DICKHEAD. my mom said he talked like that to her too and also apparently ok not to brag bc im fr not but im rly smart like im fucking brilliant and my dad always acted like it was bc of him but my mom’s other kids are also brill while my dad’s other kids are… theyre sweet kids and intelligence isnt everything im aware i know but its like “really dickhead?” i just hate how he belittles u and talks like ur dumb. im not dumb. dont piss me off

[bandagekid]

[4/5/17, 9:19:10 PM] aub: but no time [4/5/17, 9:19:13 PM] aub: only time to sleep [4/5/17, 9:19:27 PM] aub: obssessed with sleeping [4/5/17, 9:19:35 PM] aub: just want to go to sleep all the time [4/5/17, 9:19:40 PM] aub: tired of being awake [4/5/17, 9:19:52 PM] aub: today i remembered the story of the fig tree in the bible [4/5/17, 9:20:02 PM] aub: and we had a partner discussion on the moral of the story [4/5/17, 9:20:07 PM] aub: u know it right [4/5/17, 9:20:21 PM] aub: basically jesus is hungry and he finds a fig tree and gets pissed off that it isnt bearing fruit [4/5/17, 9:20:24 PM] aub: so he curses it [4/5/17, 9:20:29 PM] aub: and the next day it withers [4/5/17, 9:20:33 PM] aub: so it’s basically like [4/5/17, 9:20:45 PM] Jimmy: Never heard [4/5/17, 9:20:50 PM] aub: if u don’t amount to anything or you don’t produce anything in life then you may as well be dead [4/5/17, 9:20:55 PM] aub: lmfao [4/5/17, 9:21:12 PM] aub: or you’re as good as dead basically [4/5/17, 9:21:23 PM] aub: no difference whether you’re dead or alive if u dont produce anything [4/5/17, 9:21:31 PM] aub: that’s literally the moral of the parable [4/5/17, 9:21:45 PM] aub: but jesus must have been really hangry [4/5/17, 9:21:53 PM] Jimmy: Right [4/5/17, 9:21:56 PM] Jimmy: lol [4/5/17, 9:21:57 PM] aub: how petty can u be to curse a tree [4/5/17, 9:22:15 PM] aub: then his disciples were like holy shit u cursed it and it died holy shit [4/5/17, 9:22:26 PM] Jimmy: do u think there's a gay gene [4/5/17, 9:22:30 PM] aub: the real moral of the story (positive) is that “YOU BETTER WORK" [4/5/17, 9:22:33 PM] aub: yeah there is [4/5/17, 9:22:35 PM] aub: proven [4/5/17, 9:22:39 PM] aub: like literally [4/5/17, 9:23:00 PM] Jimmy: Rihanna work [4/5/17, 9:23:09 PM] aub: gay physique, especially for males, is different than heterosexuals [4/5/17, 9:23:37 PM] aub: makes u more slender and a little more feminine and ur voice is a little higher [4/5/17, 9:23:48 PM] aub: it’s a different testosterone level [4/5/17, 9:23:56 PM] aub: and estrogen production [4/5/17, 9:24:00 PM] aub: it’s the reason why like [4/5/17, 9:24:04 PM] aub: my friend mitch [4/5/17, 9:24:07 PM] aub: his parents are straight [4/5/17, 9:24:15 PM] aub: but him and all three of his brothers are gay [4/5/17, 9:24:28 PM] aub: so they just literally produced gay children [4/5/17, 9:24:36 PM] aub: you’re predisposed to it based on your parents genetics [4/5/17, 9:24:39 PM] aub: u really are [4/5/17, 9:24:41 PM] aub: born gay [4/5/17, 9:25:06 PM] aub: and also people who are homophobic (men who are homophobic) have this gene where [4/5/17, 9:25:23 PM] aub: ok so basically no one is homophobic [4/5/17, 9:25:29 PM] aub: u aren’t supposed to be homophobic [4/5/17, 9:25:54 PM] aub: but short answer is [4/5/17, 9:26:15 PM] aub: the reason that homophobic men exist so vehemently and outwardly is because theyre predisposed to getting turned on by viewing gay pornography [4/5/17, 9:26:24 PM] aub: *scientifically [4/5/17, 9:26:48 PM] aub: so their values turn the attraction into fear and hatred of one’s self [4/5/17, 9:27:05 PM] aub: and then they uh [4/5/17, 9:27:07 PM] aub: whats the word [4/5/17, 9:27:09 PM] aub: hold on [4/5/17, 9:27:13 PM] aub: its a psychology defense mechanism [4/5/17, 9:27:27 PM] aub: oh [4/5/17, 9:27:29 PM] aub: projection [4/5/17, 9:27:32 PM] aub: there we go [4/5/17, 9:28:03 PM] aub: when u have like problems within urself and u project it out onto others and how u view the world as a result of inner conflict [4/5/17, 9:28:07 PM] aub: https://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-defense-mechanisms/ [4/5/17, 9:32:45 PM] Jimmy: Interesting [4/5/17, 9:33:14 PM] aub: like [4/5/17, 9:33:24 PM] aub: like someone cheating on their s/o [4/5/17, 9:33:31 PM] aub: and then their s/o asks them if theyre cheating [4/5/17, 9:33:38 PM] aub: and they’re like no how could u say that [4/5/17, 9:33:41 PM] aub: are YOU cheating on me [4/5/17, 9:33:47 PM] aub: (projection) [4/5/17, 9:34:41 PM] aub: Image [4/5/17, 9:34:44 PM] aub: Image [4/5/17, 9:34:48 PM] aub: which is more me!! [4/5/17, 9:34:53 PM] Jimmy: Second [4/5/17, 9:34:56 PM] aub: my sister wants to buy me a passion planner [4/5/17, 9:35:01 PM] Jimmy: Is that even.a question [4/5/17, 9:35:04 PM] aub: oh really?? [4/5/17, 9:35:12 PM] aub: my friend said the first [4/5/17, 9:35:12 PM] aub: im torn between the two [4/5/17, 9:35:31 PM] aub: i reaaaally like the second one’s design [4/5/17, 9:35:47 PM] aub: it’s a little paler in person [4/5/17, 9:35:57 PM] aub: more of a tiffany blue than an electric one like that [4/5/17, 9:36:29 PM] aub: jimbles i just want to be a genuinely better person [4/5/17, 9:36:43 PM] aub: but i think the more i think about these goals the harder it is to achieve them [4/5/17, 9:37:15 PM] aub: i think things are less about motivation and more about discipline and i’m jst too fragile for all of it [4/5/17, 9:37:33 PM] aub: i finally realized [4/5/17, 9:37:33 PM] aub: or [4/5/17, 9:37:57 PM] aub: i saw something on tumblr and i felt relieved and validated [4/5/17, 9:38:03 PM] aub: that someone mntioned that [4/5/17, 9:38:34 PM] aub: online csa is real and it’s thing even if a lot of people don’t recognize it and it’s just as traumatizing as irl csa [4/5/17, 9:38:52 PM] aub: especially because mine is both [4/5/17, 9:39:17 PM] aub: it’s hard for me to label it as csa because i don’t want to admit it [4/5/17, 9:39:59 PM] aub: but ive become more in touch with trauma and ptsd and csa recovery coping blogs and [4/5/17, 9:40:13 PM] aub: i think for the same reason that i’ve come to identify with bpd is that [4/5/17, 9:40:48 PM] aub: the things and experiences and feelings that other people, others diagnosed with it/have definitely gone through it are the exact same things that i identify with [4/5/17, 9:40:55 PM] aub: the same thought patterns [4/5/17, 9:41:30 PM] aub: it feels good to know that i’m not the only one who thinks horrible things like this to myself [4/5/17, 9:42:03 PM] aub: like u know dont touch me im impure im dirty ill nevr be able to be clean again [4/5/17, 9:42:12 PM] aub: or bpd like [4/5/17, 9:43:02 PM] aub: ill cut you off before you do i hate you i love you i hate you i hate what you’ve done to me i love you please dont ever leave me ill kill myself without you [4/5/17, 9:43:09 PM] aub: it’s [4/5/17, 9:43:16 PM] aub: i feel so ashamed all the time [4/5/17, 9:44:15 PM] aub: i like to hope that im not just licking my wounds here and wallowing in the comfort of a safe community [4/5/17, 9:44:22 PM] aub: i like to think that this is part of the healing process [4/5/17, 9:44:40 PM] aub: but i wonder all the time if ill ever heal or if i’ll just stay damaged goods [4/5/17, 9:45:31 PM] aub: i wonder if anyone will want to touch me or be with me like this or if anyone could love me like this [4/5/17, 9:45:57 PM] aub: and the feeling impermanence and irrationalism [4/5/17, 9:46:42 PM] aub: as if i forget everyday that i’m loved and have to be reminded by large displays of affection or else i get paranoid, vindictive, hateful, withdrawn [4/5/17, 9:46:52 PM] aub: carrying all of these things all the time is hard [4/5/17, 9:47:03 PM] aub: i don’t even know where all of this is coming from [4/5/17, 9:47:08 PM] aub: maybe from some place deep inside me [4/5/17, 9:47:28 PM] aub: i really thought i couldn’t think anymore but i guess it’s still there [4/5/17, 9:51:23 PM] Jimmy: um [4/5/17, 9:51:33 PM] Jimmy: nepo [4/5/17, 9:51:46 PM] aub: sorry i [4/5/17, 9:51:52 PM] aub: i know it just comes tumbling out [4/5/17, 9:51:58 PM] Jimmy: tmblr [4/5/17, 9:52:00 PM] aub: stop [4/5/17, 9:52:06 PM] Jimmy: Tmblring out [4/5/17, 9:52:08 PM] aub: i was gonna say that [4/5/17, 9:52:13 PM] Jimmy: Tumblring out [4/5/17, 9:52:52 PM] Jimmy: r u okay my manz [4/5/17, 9:53:21 PM] Jimmy: it's no good to think those things [4/5/17, 9:53:29 PM] aub: i always think those things [4/5/17, 9:53:32 PM] aub: im just giving u examples [4/5/17, 9:53:36 PM] Jimmy: I know [4/5/17, 9:53:44 PM] Jimmy: what is bothering u [4/5/17, 9:54:01 PM] aub: is that a question or statement :0 [4/5/17, 9:54:16 PM] Jimmy: Both c: [4/5/17, 9:54:45 PM] aub: care // temporex [4/5/17, 9:54:56 PM] aub: “i must be talking to a wall” is my favorite line [4/5/17, 9:56:32 PM] aub: and uh [4/5/17, 9:56:48 PM] aub: idk man [4/5/17, 9:56:58 PM] aub: ive talked to u abt it before but [4/5/17, 9:57:24 PM] aub: it's hard to articulate [4/5/17, 9:59:13 PM] aub: Image [4/5/17, 9:59:16 PM] aub: im gonna do this [4/5/17, 9:59:19 PM] aub: but not on twittee [4/5/17, 10:00:00 PM] aub: my sex life is a lot of personal stuff out and grow up to be a one on one of the only thing that was my first time having sex was in a hotel room with my abuser in the summer of my fav flowers [4/5/17, 10:00:03 PM] aub: fuck [4/5/17, 10:00:23 PM] aub: ...... [4/5/17, 10:00:37 PM] aub: i need to sit down [4/5/17, 10:16:02 PM] aub: jimmy [4/5/17, 10:16:05 PM] aub: im in love with myself