#he was just drunk and giggly! he's innocent your honor!

[welcomefortune]

i stand by my cancelled king, y'all don't have complicated sibling relationships my siblings and i have said way worse to each other than that

[falcor-thee-luck-dragon]

Diego Hargreeves x Powered reader (Platonic Klaus x reader)

Summary: You and Klaus get very drunk in the Academy and have an absolute ball until Diego comes to take you home.

-Reader is from What a Time to be Alive universe

Masterlist

You’re with Klaus one night, he’s drunk as a skunk and high as a fucking kite all in one incredibly chaotic mixture. Diego’s off gallivanting around the city and you’re not in the mood for any late night crime fighting, so instead you’re chilling with Klaus in the Academy while Reginald is off on some business abroad, or at least that’s what Pogo told you. At the moment Klaus is talking to himself on the carpet as he stares wide eyed at a dream catcher on the far wall. You’re laying on his bed staring up at the ceiling, your mind swirling with random thoughts.

“Heyyy..uh...Y/N my favorite Vampire seductress. Hows ‘bout we tell each other a fun fact about ourselves.” He slurs drunkingly, his face a giant smile of bliss. You give him a hum of acknowledgment as you think for a second of what to say.

“Okay I’ll go first. I have a tattoo of a fish skeleton under my right boob.”

He bursts out laughing at the honest bluntness of your comment, “Cheers to our amazinggg tats my friend.” Quips Klaus as he takes another small swig of his liquor. You continue to stare up at the ceiling, your eyes following the dimly lit Christmas lights strung about the walls.

“Okay my turn. When I was 10, I challenged myself to see if I could steal one thing from everyone’s room in a week.”

“How’d that turn out for you?”

“Oh I was highly successful, until Pogo caught me sneaking around old Reggie’s office. Ya know now since I’ve thought about it...he probably saved my ass from some gory fate if Dad actually caught me.”

“Amazing.”

Klaus nods as he shifts himself around to face you, “So my dear, you got anything else that’s highly juicy drama? Come onnnn, you have to have had some wild nights with my bro for sure.” He says while wiggling his eyebrows, hoping for an answer. You roll yourself onto your stomach so as to better see him.

“None that are for your innocent ears, Klaus.”

“Oooohhh the scandal, you know what...I don’t wanna know. Oh hey Y/N have some of this shit it’s seriously sooo good.” Insists Klaus while raising up his almost empty bottle of whatever. You eye it curiously, it does smell appealing if you’re being honest, and there’s no one here to stop you.

“Yeah alright lets get fucked up, why not.” His face breaks out into a full Cheshire Cat smile as he eagerly hands you the bottle of alcohol. You grasp the glass bottle, flashing him a quick smirk before chugging the rest of it, much to Klaus’ surprised amusement.

“Yeahhh Y/N! We’re breakkin the ruulesss tonight.” He laughs while cheering you on. You finally set the bottle down as a do your best to hold in a watery burp, your face making a sour expression instead.

“Classy Y/N.”

“Thank you I’ll be here all night.”

Suddenly Klaus’ face shifts into a fake pout, as he sits on his carpet like a moody six year old, you smile at him as you tilt your head to the side.

“Whatcha thinking ‘bout Klaus.”

“We’re out of booze. This is not good.”

You can’t help yourself as a loud laugh bursts from your lips, the alcohols effects ever so slightly working their way into your bloodstream. He snaps his attention back to you, his face faining shock.

“This is a serious issue Y/N!”

“Exactly! We’re gonna have to go on a mission...to the downstairs bar...for..”

“For..?”

“For the good shit.”

“YES! You’re a genius, no wonder Diego keeps you around...you’re so smart Y/N..and he’s just so...stupid.” Drawls Klaus with an intoxicated giggle at the end.

You snort at the odd compliment of Klaus’ while getting up off of the bed, and setting the empty bottle onto the covers. You stand above Klaus as you reach your hand out for him to take, he gladly accepts your invitation for making more mischief as you easily pull him up, the both of you silently walking out the door and quietly tiptoeing down the vacant hallway. You’re in the lead as Klaus holds onto the bottom of your t-shirt in the darkness. He can’t see nearly as well as you can, so he smartly lets you handle your guys’ stealth mode adventure through the Academy’s eccentric hallways. You listen for any sounds of Pogo or Grace who may potentially cross paths with the two of you, and most likely ruin your fun.

The both of you ever-so-sneakily fumble up the stairs like giggly school girls doing something they shouldn’t be. Once you reach the top you sniff the air for any threats, nothing. Taking this as an obvious sign that everything’s all clear you make a break for the main living room, Klaus hot on your heels. Sprinting faster then you’ve ever seen him before, it’s honestly quit impressive.

You skid to an abrupt stop once you finally reach the back of the bar where all the most expensive and best tasting beverages are kept. Klaus quickly pushing past you to seek out his favorite bottle, you watch him grab one then two different kinds, insisting that they’re both equally as important and they shouldn’t be separated cause that would be a crime. You agree, looking through the vast collection as your skilled eyes finally lock onto your favorite drink. You pick it up eagerly, swiftly turning your body back around to face a visibly excited Klaus who’s practically shaking with adrenaline or maybe it’s whatever drugs he took, you’re not really sure.

“Y/N if you would do the honors.” He asks while handing you his bottle to open since you’re the stronger one here. You set your own bottle down onto the counter, taking his and twisting it with a satisfying pop sound as the cap releases. He practically yanks it out of your hands, giving you a peppy salute before taking a long swig. You leave him to it, opening up your own bottle and taking a hearty drink of your own. The two of you wipe your mouths as you both take a satisfied sigh of relief, enjoying how the alcohol is starting to slowly affect you.

“You know what we need to make this experience extra fantastic?”

“Blow my frickin mind.”

“Music!” Shouts Klaus as he races around the bar and bolts towards the stairs leading down to his room. With your bottle still in hand you hustle after him, practically sliding into his door when you make it to his room. He’s already ahead of the game as he fumbles around with his record player, putting a classic tune on that instantly has you jumping. The two of you practically scream sing the lyrics of the song currently blasting throughout the room and down the hallway. Both you jumping on his bed and dancing around the small area like bad little kids staying up past their bedtime.

You don’t remember how you got to the top floor of the Umbrella Academy but here you are. One fourth of a bottle full in your left hand and a red plastic lightsaber in your right. Klaus standing a couple feet away practically mirroring your own stance. He just looks a lot more fucked up then you are, as he drunkingly swings the saber around like a lunatic.

“Y/N I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND!”

“But you were the CHOSEN one!”

“Die rebel scum!” Yelps Klaus as he swings his weapon towards you, he looks like an old man as he’s basically moving in slow motion for dramatics. You give him his moment as you lean into the lightsaber, pretending to get sliced in the most ridiculously dramatic way possible.

“Ugh I am...defeated...blah.”

“HA get fucked loser!” Laughs Klaus who starts to randomly dance around you in a sort of weird victory dance type thing. You raise your own lightsaber up into the air as you shout a loud battlecry.

“SIKE! The evil cannot defeat me....I am INVINCIBLE!” Klaus’ eyes widen as you give him a devilish grin, he suddenly flips you off and screams before hauling ass down the hallway.

“Come get me bitches!!!”

Downing most of your bottle you race after him with your saber swinging wildly in front of you, he turns a corner and then down another in a fruitless attempt at losing you. You suddenly catch him into a corner, stalking slowly over to him like a tigress to her prey, his eyes going wide. But without warning he haphazardly chucks his lightsaber at you, successfully smacking you across the head with it, catching you very off guard and giving him just enough time to book it down the hallway and down the stairs. You quickly recover, downing the rest of your bottle as you trade it for the extra lightsaber. Cackling to yourself like a crazed witch as you continue your hunt for Klaus.

You can hear him running around the Academy so you take a shortcut down another hallway, leading you right in front of him. He stops, eyeing you suspiciously as he gets into a kung foo looking posture.

“I have two lightsabers you dumb-buss. And I’m gonna kick your buns for that little getaway stunt you just pulled. Bitch.”

“Get hit by a car.” Whisper yells Klaus before abruptly turning around and racing down the hallway once again.

As you race around another corner you suddenly smack into the back of Klaus, knocking yourself backwards and onto the floor with a breathy grunt. “Klaus what the he..” Your eyes go wide when they land on an incredibly confused Pogo who’s eyes the two of you suspiciously. You quickly gather yourself as you bolt to your feet, doing a terrible job at hiding the lightsabers behind you in the process.

“Now what is all this ruckus about you two?”

“Oh, what did you hear something suspicious? Me and Y/N/N here were just...uh...checking the halls for any possible intruders.” Rambles Klaus, hands casually on his slender hips as he stares at Pogo with the chillest face possible.

“Yeah, don’t worry Pogo. No thieves in this Academy.” You nervously shrug, giving him a forced smile, though you’re pretty sure you look a bit demented. Pogo looks between the two of you knowing full well that your dumbasses are drunk and causing all kinds of mischief around the large estate. This is definitely not the first time this has happened and probably not the last, he shakes his head as he blinks, “Well then...that’s good to know...I’ll just be in my room reading if you two need anything. Goodnight.”

“Night Pogo.”

“Save travels in dreamland.” Snickers Klaus as you smack the back of his head.

Pogo gives the both of you a kind tight lipped smile before nodding and turning around to walk into his room. You watch as he disappears within, the great oaken door shutting with a small thud. Klaus abruptly swivels to face you, a cheeky grin stuck to his scruffy face, “That went pretty well...all things considered.”

“Guess what.”

“What.”

“You’re a little bitch. And I have two lightsabers.” His eyes quickly widen in realization as he swats at your shoulder, laughing in delight as he practically gallops down the hallway.

“Stop running I might throw up!”

You sprint after him, Klaus leads you down more hallways and stairs until you catch him in the front room. Blocking him from escaping anywhere else into the Academy, unless he opened the front door and ran outside, but that’s highly unlikely considering it’s snowing out and he’s shoeless and without a shirt on except for a Hufflepuff scarf you bought him last year. Klaus fake growls at you while flailing his lanky arms around like pool noodles. You suddenly have the bright idea of jumping onto the wooden table, and without another thought you do just that.

It surprisingly holds you up, Klaus steps back as you swing your dual lightsabers around like a maniac, clearly enjoying yourself in this blissfully warm drunken state. Quickly thinking on the fly, or maybe its his ingrained hero training, Klaus grabs a spare umbrella hanging on the coat rack and swings it at you with a new theatrical passion.

“Don’t worry Y/N I’ll put you out of your misery!” Shouts Klaus as he swats your legs with the umbrella, you smack him on the arm as he yelps out in pain.

“I’ll put your grandma out of her misery!”

“I don’t even have a grandma you monster!”

“Neither do I!”

The front door swings open just as Klaus finishes his sentence and you loudly answering him back, as the both of you swing your weapons at each other once again. You and Klaus oblivious to whoever just walked inside, until the door shuts with a loud thud, causing the two of you to stop mid hit and look over to the individual standing by the front entrance, who’s looking a very hard mixture of concerned and not sure if he should ask. Your eyes instantly go wide as they land on Diego.

“She started it!” Points Klaus before smacking your legs with the umbrella and booking it down the hallway for about the hundredth time that night. You jump off the table, sprinting towards Klaus with a new found purpose, leaving a confused Diego in your wake. Klaus is fast but not fast enough as you slide past him and block his ass from seeking safety within his room. The two of you have an intense old western style stare down for a couple moments before he breaks the silence.

“I may be vurrryyy outs of it, but I think Diego is hurrr.” Slurs Klaus as he leans himself against the wall.

“Well he’s not allowed in our pillow fort then.”

“We don’t even have a pillow fort Y/N!”

“We gonna have one now! Let’s get inside!” You quickly whisper yell at him, before grabbing his hand and yanking him into his room, shutting the door right after. Forgetting to lock the door in the process. You and Klaus throw some chairs and blankets around, in a sad attempt at making a pillow fort. It looks like a goddamn pillow Godzilla came crashing through your plush city of Pillow Tokyo, but who cares at this point anyways. The two of you begin laughing like a pair of drunken sailors as Klaus hands you another one of his half filled bottles. You gladly accept with a lopsided smile while Klaus mumbles something to himself. A second later the door jiggles and opens a few inches before it gets stuck on a bunched up blanket.

“Y/N, Klaus what the hell are you two doing? And let me in.”

“What’s the password Diego?” Giggles you and Klaus as Diego let’s out a frustrated sigh.

“Uh...”

“Incorrect. You’ve got two more guesses babe.” You playfully snap at him.

“Luther sucks?”

“Errrgggg, wrong again brother.” Quips Klaus, taking the bottle out of your hand to down some himself.

“Y/N is the best?” Tries Diego cautiously, hoping this will be the password. You bolt up from the floor as you lose your footing and catch yourself with a quick smack of your hands into the doorframe. Diego holds in a laugh as he gives you an amused smile, still finding you absolutely adorable even when visibly out of it and quit possibly drunk off your ass.

“DD, hellooowww.” You wiggle your eyebrows at him as you give him a sappy grin.

“Don’t let him in Y/N he didn’t guess the password. It’s Jesus...the passwords always Jesus.” Warns Klaus in the background. Diego raises his eyebrows at that as your face falls in disappointment.

“Dammit Klaus now he knows.” You turn round to hiss at him like an angry cat.

“Y/N I don’t really...uh..really feel good.” Mumbles Klaus as he leans himself back against a pile of pillows. You purse your lips into a tight frown, realizing in your own buzzed state that the fun is over and you’ll have to go home, but it’s cold outside. You look up at Diego as he stares back down at you, he’s not entirely sure if your about to cry or not, until your face abruptly lights up into a cheeky grin taking him off guard.

“Y/N. Don’t do it.” Is all he has time to say before you hastily slam the door in his face and turn around to get the high ground on Klaus’ bed. You’ve got an empty bottle in one hand as Diego shoves the door open eyeing you up like a wolf to his prey. You’d be more turned on by this if it wasn’t for the fact that you really don’t want to go home. He carefully walks in closer to you as Klaus watches in amusement, loudly cheering Diego on. You’re back presses against the back wall as you hold out your empty wine bottle in defense, “None of you bitches could handle me.”

“Y/N put the bottle down.”

“I’ve died of alcohol poisoning twice you can’t kill me!”

“I wish I could do that.” Adds Klaus with a laugh.

“That’s not something to be proud of.” Says Diego as his attention snaps back to you.

“I’ve done cocaine off of Brad Pitts ass cheeks.” You cackle as your face breaks out into another bright smile, Diego lets out an amused huff of air, really doing his best to keep a straight face at your intoxicated nonsense.

“Oh shit me too. Or maybe he was a stripper, ya know I don’t actually recall.”

“Jesus Christ you two.” Mutters Diego as he slowly gets closer to you, his legs now reaching the bed. He gives you a pleading look as he reaches his arm out for you to take.

“No TOUCHY. I have a boyfriend!” You shout back, as he quickly takes the opportunity to snatch your bottle out of your hand and toss it into the nearby destroyed pillow fort.

“Y/N I am your boyfriend. And we need to go home now. Please.” You give him a dirty look before rolling your eyes and walking into his open arms, not being able to resist from him any longer. He hugs you tight while gently setting your feet onto the carpeted floor.

“I’ll help you put your boots and coat on okay? Just sit on the bed please.” He sweetly asks, you oblige without so much as a pout. Letting him take care of you in the smallest of ways, once you’re finally all ready to go he takes your hands and pulls you up.

“See ya ‘round Klaus. Have fun, do crimes.” You wink while shooting him finger guns, he nods his head lifting up a lightsaber to salute you.

“May the forces of this broken umbrella be with you.” Replies Klaus, lifting up the umbrella to salute you again. Diego lets out an amused snort as he says goodbye to his brother and ushers you out the door. He holds your hand the whole time as he leads you throughout the Academy and all the way to the front door, where he opens it for you to walk through.

When you walk outside the air is calm and quiet, the world is cold and surrounded in a shimmering white blanket of fresh snow. A small silent parade of silver confetti falls lightly from the dark sky, landing on your flushed face as cool icy kisses touch your hot skin. It feels nice and has your head spinning as you wait on the sidewalk for Diego to finish locking the front gate. His steps are quiet in the snow as he links his arm with yours, startling you for a second before you relax back into his touch. The two of you walk peacefully through the snow covered sidewalk for about fifteen minutes before you decide to break the quiet.

“So hows’ err night ‘iego?” You slur while struggling to stay balanced, your head feels cloudy and the sparkly snow is messing with your perception due to you being drunk and all. He pulls you in closer while placing a quick kiss onto the top of your head. 

“I saved this old guy from getting robbed by some teenage punks, who clearly didn’t know what they were doing. It was too easy, but uh...that was about it. Pretty slow tonight actually.” You let out a satisfied hum in response.

“You’re like...so...hot.” You mumble while craning your neck to get a good view of his face. He looks down at you with an adoring smirk gracing his lips, his very very kissable lips. You can’t help yourself as you pull down on his jacket collar and crash your lips into his, its a sweet but brief embrace, as he pulls away first. You give him an annoyed pout while he smiles, shaking his head at you.

“We gotta make it home Y/N. I can already tell how bad your hangovers gonna be in the morning.”

You give him a what-the-fuck face, still pissed that he broke your kiss so soon and is now instructing you like a mother goose. You’re not having it one bit. In response you pull his hat down into his eyes and trip him into a snowbank, you watch in amusement as he disappears into the cold puffy whiteness. Only to come back into view with an angry grunt as he pulls himself to his feet, you’re absolutely losing your shit watching him struggle and get frustrated with you. By the time he’s removed the snow from his face, he stops his angry protests to watch you crying with laughter. His frustration and growing irritation slowly dissipating away as he sees how truly happy you are, it’s adorable to watch someone like you in such a rare drunkingly blissful state. He breaks out into a tired grin, thinking it best not to provoke you anymore as he abandons the idea of throwing a snowball at you. As this decision may not end very well for him.

“Come on you goofball lets get inside. Some of us can actually get frostbite.” Diego tells you while throwing a snow covered arm over your shoulder, your face breaks out into a crooked half smile as you lean into Diego’s warm side once again. Then without warning your stomach lurches with a nasty after taste of whatever you ate earlier touching your tongue. Instantly you break from his grasp, turning to the snowy street curb and abruptly puking onto the dazzling snow innocently minding its business below. Diego instantly rushes to hold your hair back as you loudly let it all out, your body feels like it’s on fire and your throat hurts as you continue to vomit a nasty mix of alcohol and chicken nuggets. Once done, you quickly wipe off your mouth of any lasting unwanted particles.

You spit in the snow, turning around to face a concerned Diego who looks at you worriedly with those big brown eyes of his. You give him a theatrical bow, before hanging your head down in exhaustion as you slowly shuffle past him.

“Oh shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You were thinking it.”