#he thinks its the shit that hes met like the fucking power rangers actors and he has the handwriting of a child

[lamphous]

really almost snapped on my annoying coworker today for responding to my "look upon my works ye mighty and despair" at a pile of mess with "why do I know that quote?" only for me to say "its ozymandias by per—" and cut me off "oh right, right, watchmen. not the comic or the shitty show, the movie". like had I been an inch more insane I would have throttled him. instead I told him zack snyder has never had a good idea in his life and then just repeated it over and over until he shut the fuck up finally

[renaerys]

8. “Don’t walk away from me.” (HoennChampionShipping)

{{Original posting unfortunately deleted. Reposted here.}}

February Fic Prompt #8 originally requested by Anon.

xxx

May ran through the hospital lobby barefoot, her stilettos dangling from one hand and the long skirt of her red evening dress gathered in the other. The receptionist shot out of his chair and shouted for her to stop, she couldn’t go back there, but May ignored him and burst through the doors leading to the ICU. Last door on the left, that was what Hector, the Ever Grande Ranger, had told her over the X-Transceiver. She’d bolted from the film awards ceremony without hesitation or thought to what the other high profile guests would think.

Last door on the left, there it was. She released Blaziken from his Pokéball and touched his feathered mane. “Don’t let anyone inside.”

Blaziken, nearly two feet taller than her and a living nightmare covered in blood-red feathers and talons that could rip through solid stone, clicked his beak and turned to face the hall.

May dashed inside the hospital room only to find the unmade bed empty, its former occupant dressing in his ruined tuxedo. Icy blue eyes narrowed at her intrusion, but softened as soon as he saw it was her.

“May.”

May rushed to him and ran her hands over his smooth face. “Steven, oh my god…”

She ran her hands over his shirt, over the scorch marks and knife rips in his designer tuxedo, growing angrier and angrier. “Oh my god.”

Steven caught her wandering hands in his and bade her look up at him. Blood spatter speckled his once pristine, white collar. “I’m fine.”

She’d dashed over here in a single-minded daze to get to him, to see him safe, and now that she done that she began to remember herself. “You’re not fine.”

“They didn’t get me.”

“Have you seen your clothes? They got you on repeat.”

His lips thinned to a harsh line. “You know blades don’t work on me.”

“How about fire? Because it looks like you took a goddamned Flamethrower to the face! Whose blood is that?”

She tried to grab his collar, but he caught her wrist in a firm, almost painful grip. “That’d be the third assassin. I got impatient. Things got messy.”

May shook at the mention of that word. She was so angry she could have spit in his face. “Messy? You could have been murdered today! Do you have any idea how insane that sounds?”

“Hey, what’s going on in—shit!” A passing nurse heard their fight, but Blaziken squawked at her and sent her tripping over herself to get away. It wouldn’t be long now before reinforcements came and interrupted them.

“I’m the Champion. My death would have meaning to these kinds of rogue actors. It’s not as insane as you make it sound.”

May yanked her hand out of his grip, but only because he let her. She knew she was not challenge in a test of physical strength against him. “What’s insane is you being so nonchalant about this. It’s your life!”

“Yes, and I’m the Champion.”

“You’re so much more than that!”

Steven took her by the elbow and led her away from the door, lowered his voice. “This isn’t about us; it’s about my position. It doesn’t concern you.”

Before she could consider the consequences, May slapped him. His head swiveled harshly to the side, and he stared at the wall for a beat as she panted.

“Fuck that,” May spat. Her hair, styled up for an evening of networking and socializing with some of the most important people in entertainment this side of Kalos, had come undone and hung in thin, chestnut wisps about her face.

Ice met ocean as he turned to face her and searched her gaze. He was famous for being a hard man, cold and imperious, perfect in a role that demanded he resonate power and control as the face of Hoenn’s martial strength. But that was all it was, a face. One of many. True, Steven Stone was a strong Adamantine, perhaps the best in the world right now, but he was also just a man.

“Don’t,” May said, her voice barely a whisper. “Don’t you walk away from me.”

His eyes softened and he touched a loose strand of her hair, just shy of her cheek and the tears that stained it. She hadn’t even realized she was crying.

“You look so lovely tonight,” he said. “I wish I could have seen you properly.”

The raw emotion underlying his words broke her, and she closed the distance between them. He swept her up in a desperate kiss that betrayed his quiet fury, his shame, his fear. Her fingers pulled at his silver-bright hair, longed to keep him because tonight she had almost lost him and they both knew it.

His thumb wiped away her tears and circled her temple the way he knew would calm her. “One got away. I don’t want you involved.”

As if that had ever stopped her before. She knew what she was getting herself in to when she decided to be with him. A small town girl from Littleroot had no business getting caught up in the machinations of the wealthy, the conniving, the evil; that was the Champion’s job, his job. He had no choice, but she did.

“You don’t get to make that decision for me,” May said.

“May…”

“I’m going with you.”

“Absolutely not.”

“The whole world already knows I exist. You’re not protecting me like this.”

“Knowledge and access are two very different things. The Rangers can protect you while I’m gone.”

“Sure, like they protected you tonight?” she snapped.

He set his jaw.

“I’m going with you.” Her decision was final.

He took her wrists in his hands. “No, please. I couldn’t bear it if…”

Slowly, May lifted her hands and cupped his face, brought him close. “You won’t. I’d never allow it.”

He sighed, and it was as if the weight of the world collapsed around him as he leaned on her. Knives may not be able to cut his skin, but their threat could sever something far more precious. Pride made for brittle armor.

May wiped her eyes and the streaks of mascara smearing her cheeks. “Tell me the plan. I know you have one.”

He looked hesitant, but there was a light in his eyes that told her she had him now, like she had him the first time they were up against men who tried to eliminate him on their path to reach beyond the sky’s limit. “The one that got away has a two-hour head start.”

“Good. Skarmory could use a timed workout.”

“There are probably others.”

There were always others. May grabbed him by the belt and pulled him boldly against her. She stole Metagross’ Pokéball and held it up between them, watching as his eyes followed her like a Skitty on a lure. “Good thing we’re dressed for meeting new people tonight.”

Steven grinned and wrapped an arm around her waist before leading her to the window.

By the time the frightened nurse had returned with a few beefy orderlies and a pair of Machoke to put a stop to whatever was going on in the Champion’s emergency private room, Blaziken was gone and the room was mysteriously empty. The window was wide open, and there was no trace of the elusive Champion or the fiery woman in red who’d blown through like a storm in search of him.

[kathillards]

misc morphicon stories

ok so i feel like i’ve talked FOREVER about all the wild shit that happened to us at morphicon (running into rangers at the car valet!! meeting chip lynn!! azim calling us his favorite ladies at the con!!) but i wanted to make a write up for all the stuff i haven’t talked about yet because i have to remember all this and i want you all to experience it too!! it was so fun oh my god if you haven’t been to morphicon... start making plans for 2020 guys it is legit INSANE best weekend of my entire LIFE

- ann marie crouch is AN ACTUAL PRINCESS SENT FROM HEAVEN we ran into her on our way back to the hotel one of the days and we were like omg it’s princess shayla we love you!! and she was so sweet and stopped and talked to us even though she was on her way out for a nap and she was in full shayla gear she looked so pretty! and we saw her on the way back too she had changed into casual clothes but still rocking it WE LOVE ONE MENTOR ONLY

- jessica rey is so funny and adorable omg we stopped by her booth to buy wild force pins (kat and abbey) bc the wf rangers come PREPARED w/ merch and nobody was there so we all just started talking to her and told her how we loved wild force and alyssa and abbey said she loved the ep where alyssa beat up the boys and she’s so cute and fun to talk to!! she told us about the shades of pink panel and i was like “is alyssa a pink or a white ranger” and she was like “lol i dont even know” also she had her handler take a staged candid of us talking to her because she loved us lmao. and then we were talking about white rangers and all of us were like “fuck tommy lives we stan alyssa only” and she laughed and immediately started telling us about what a dick jdf had been to fans the day before lmao (also for real...he’s a dick) and i was like YOU ARE THE SUPERIOR WHITE TIGER RANGER god shes so cool she loved us and didnt wanna stop talking but we had to move away cuz ppl were lining up for her behind us rip

- RICHARD AND ANGIE oh my god ok so i’d stopped and talked to angie on the first day and also the second day and i told her i’d come back later bc i wanted a photo w/ BOTH OF THEM and i did tell her how much i loved madison and vida like we are ROCCA SISTER STANS FIRST PEOPLE SECOND and shes so cute and she remembered us every time!! and then on the third day i finally got to talk to richard and he’s so sweet we talked about mystic force just at his booth for like ten minutes waiting for angie for the photo op, he asked us our fave episodes and i said dark wish and he actually remembered it so i think he might be the only actor at the con who watched his season. and we told him we loved the mystic force theme song AND HE STARTED SINGING IT. and someone had left him a green zeo figurine for...some reason and he told us “i dont even fucking know who that is” (but nicer lol he is very charming and polite) and we told him it was adam/johnny and he was like ohhhh lmao i love disney era actors not knowing SHIT about saban era. like he literally worked with johnny. i love him. AND THEN HE ASKED US ALL TO BE IN THE PHOTO and since kat paid for half of it we were like aight its a group thing and its the cutest photo i love disney era actors only

- i think i talked about meeting dwayne cameron already but god hes so sweet and i felt bad for him bc caitlin next to him had ppl she was talking to but he was all alone so me and abbey just went up and started talking to him and i told him i loved overdrive and i told him i recognized him as ethan’s bully and we talked about tyzonn and vella and just overdrive in general and hes so SWEET and he HUGGED ME SO TIGHT GOD i think he really enjoyed us like. actually loving overdrive and being able to talk about it. AND HE RAN INTO ABBEY IN CARS LAND AT DISNEY ON MONDAY AND GAVE HER ANOTHER HUG hes so cute (angie was also there with him I LOVE DISNEY ERA SOLIDARITY)

- met monica may and cerina vincent on saturday, not a lot to say bc i only talked to them a bit and took my photos but they are both so beautiful and elegant and classy and i told cerina i loved her in stuck in the middle :’) ranger ladies are so intimidatingly pretty god. also picked up this huge LEGIT spd poster and im gonna put it up in my room as soon as i can because oh my god its professional quality it looks so cool. we also talked to greg aronowitz bc kat wanted her poster signed and hes so cool we told him how much we appreciated everything he did for spd AND THAT WE WERE ON HIS SIDE ABOUT FEMALE RED FUCK DISNEY.

- god what else uhh we wandered around the toys section a lot on saturday/sunday bc we’d kinda. seen everyone. and there were a lot of panels on sunday so nobody was at the booths. i picked up those amazing rider/sentai prints from ceevee SUPER TALENTED SO WORTH IT. also got me a meteor storm figuart B) which i havent taken out of the box yet but i will

- HECTOR AT THE CAR VALET he literally announced he would be at morphicon the day before and then we saw him while waiting for our car and SCREAMED and he was so chill and cool and he came over and hugged us all hes so hot. AND THEN LATER WE RAN INTO SELWYN WARD AT THE CAR VALET and he also laughed when we squealed and came over and hugged us all and guys he smelled soooo nice i was like right up against him i could have died hes so handsome and perfect.

- we also ran into steve cardenas at the car valet like right when we were all leaving the hotel for the last time and we told him that we loved him and i said i was so excited that it was rocky coming back for the anniversary instead of fucking jason and abbey was like “justice for forever red!” and he was like hah i know right anyway every single actor in this franchise hates jdf lmao that was just the vibe of morphicon and it was valid

- fun fact we did not see jdf ONCE. not going to the con, not at the hotel, not ANYWHERE. just his crazy lines. he was like the douchebag cryptid. im glad tho he can stay that way.

- i talked about meeting andre on saturday night right??? hes so SWEET I LOVE HIM he was so happy when ben gave him his fanart of eddie and took a selfie w/ ben right then and there and also took a pic w/ me and abbey ugh i love him i told him he was so valid for being a power rangers youtuber and liking megaforce AND THAT HE’S THE BEST INTERVIEWER THEY’VE EVER HAD (i also told azim this, i’m very passionate about this subject, every other ranger interviewer sucks ASS)

- jason faunt at the elevators!! hes so sweet i told him how excited i was for the anniversary and he said yeah theres a lot more plot going on and told me to take a selfie bc they couldnt stop him here fhjggd i love that pic i love him AND THEN ALSO later we ran into NAKIA IN AN ELEVATOR AND SHES SO SWEET I SAID “WE LOVE YOU WE WATCHED ALL OF ZEO FOR YOU” and she was like aww thank you so much!! a literal goddess AND THEN LATER AS WE WERE CHECKING OUT karan walked by us to go to nakia and i was so excited i waved and said hi to her and she said “hi baby how are you” SHES SO WONDERFUL I LOVE MY MOTHERS

- i think i told the chris reid story already but like. hes so charming and was so nice even tho i interrupted his express checkout but like. i Had to tell him how valid ninja steel was i was literally like fuck the dudebros they’re so annoying you guys fighting w/ that one guy on twitter over the kcas was the FUNNIEST thing to EVER happen to this fandom and he laughed.

- we also went up to kelson’s booth later and told him how much we loved mick and all his roles!! and talked to him forever about all of them, told him we were kalish/disney era supremacists, told him HOW GOOD HE IS AT VOICE ACTING WE LOVE FLIT AND NORG IN THIS HOUSE he looked so happy :’) i feel like everyone just compliments him on boom which, no offense, but appreciate your voice actors guys. i told him we grew up on disney era and it was like new zealand only had twelve actors and he was five of them and he laughed and was like yeah. i also told him how we loved mick and brody’s father/son relationship and he was like yeah they ended up liking that a lot too which is why they sort of pushed brody’s real dad to the side so mick could shine more and i was like that’s LEGIT. i also told him the prism was brody’s mother and he agreed so that’s canon now. AND I TOLD HIM how fucking dark ninja steel went w/ his storyline literally being about slavery and human trafficking and he was like I KNOW RIGHT and we just talked about how dumb everyone is for being mean to ninja steel and chris showed up at this point too and we all laughed about it together

- ok and then tbh we just spent all of sunday loitering around the megaforce cast but it was worth it because they LOVE US oh my god we talked to them like all sunday about just. everything. azim’s gf jordan was there and she kept telling us to just stick around we talked to her a lot, we asked her about alex heartman and like where tf was he and she said he was working :( BUT AZIM AND ALEX ARE STILL CLOSE so victory. azim also told us a bunch of little stories like how he and the megaforce cast searched for a house to stay in together and ended up finding one at the base of a volcano and he and drew would race around the volcano in the mornings like the crazy people they are, we told him how much we loved andrew’s ACTING SKILLS and “do you see any tears” and he cracked up and said “they used to call me ‘freaky tiki man’ all the time because of that one line” and he told us about other fan encounters and things, we told him on saturday how we all met and became friends because we were the only ppl who loved and defended megaforce and he was SO TOUCHED HES SO SWEET GOD i would die for him. 

- cameron gave us (me and kat) all his money to buy him lunch from the food trucks and i guess just trusted that we loved megaforce so much we wouldn’t just run away with all his money????? and he was absolutely correct we got him teriyaki chicken with garlic noodles and he loved us. his handler also asked us to buy him food and gave us his CREDIT CARD dfhdgfjgdf like power rangers people are wild man. who just gives their credit card to random 20yo girls and just. trusts that they love this children’s show so much they won’t steal it??? i mean they were right and we didn’t but still. AND HE MADE ME AIRDROP one of my megaforce reaction pics to his phone because he loved it so much (it’s the one of jake and emma and orion looking super done, that i had ben redraw for me, so we showed them both pics and all three of them LOVED IT) and cameron even looked ben up on deviantart to see it fdgjkdfdg he loves usss. christina was telling us how they were talking about us at dinner and cameron told her that we were his favorite part of the con :’)) azim also mentioned that they talked about us at dinner because he said to kat “we were discussing that you look like that girl from 10 things i hate about you who was julia stiles’ best friend” LIKE IMAGINE. HAVING THE MEGAFORCE CAST. DISCUSS WHO YOU LOOK LIKE FDJGKDHFJGD they’re so cute ugh and azim and cameron hugged us all goodbye and john mark and christina said goodbye too and i just. love them. so much. 

- at one point cameron asked me and kat how old we were and she was like “twenties...as a group we are in our early twenties” and he was like “.... so old enough to know how a hangover feels right?” and we lost it dfgjfdkdgjh and i said “if i were an actor i would just be stoned the whole con” AND CAMERON JUST NODDED AGGRESSIVELY god the entire cast was definitely hungover and they’re so valid. except christina, we asked her and she said she only had a milkshake so maybe she was their designated driver. 

- andrew is so chill too (i mean i do think he is perpetually high but its fine) i think he just loves talking??? like he’s there for the babies (so many babies!! and they love troy so much!!! hes so adorable with them) and then he just wants to chill like we went up to him on sunday and he was like oh hey did you guys see this picture and he pulled out his phone and showed a pic of the megaforce cast doing a goofy zombie pose at their photo ops and he told us his backstory on each of their zombie poses like. who does this??? he’s so adorable.

- and ofc we stopped by christina again on sunday bc she’s THE FAVE and shes just so cuuute ugh and i told her i loved all asian rangers bc i am asian!! and she was like omg are you?? and i was like yeah i’m south asian and she was like omg so that’s all part of asia too OH I GET IT SO WE’RE BOTH ASIAN and i was like YES AND YOU’RE ALL MY RANGERS and she smiled at me it was like staring at the sun tbh. i love and would die for her.

- when we went to say goodbye to the megaforce cast cameron just looked at all of us standing around his booth and was like, so genuinely, “you guys are the best” and it still makes me cry thinking about it. AND AZIM’S FACE when we all said “megaforce’s defenders never surrender!” to him he had the sweetest smile god i really would take a bullet for the entire megaforce cast in a heartbeat. they are the sweetest angels & deserve the world. if any of you breathe a word wrong about jake holling in my general vicinity ever again i will fry your intestines and eat them for breakfast thank you GOODBYE.

[radioleary-blog]

Burning Flags and Hosing Native Americans

11/30/16

"Nobody should be allowed to burn the American flag," Trump wrote this week, after a college student in New Hampshire burned a flag to protest the election, "if they do, there must be consequences - perhaps loss of citizenship or year in jail!"

This from the guy who called for registering Muslims and imprisoning his political opponents. “If these people don’t like things the way they are, they shouldn’t burn the flag, they should do what I did, and burn the Constitution!” Trump said, “You think I could get away with all the crazy shit I have planned for this country if I just burned a flag? No way, I’d be in a prison cell right next to Hillary. So the Constitution had to go. You say flag burning is protected by the First Amendment? Let’s get rid of it. Shoot the First Amendment with a gun from the Second Amendment. A Bill of Rights? They sold you a bill of goods! It’s a Bill of Wrongs, folks, that’s all it was. A Bill of Wrongs.”

Trump released his statement through what has become the official White House press briefing source: Twitter. Oh, he loves his Twitter. Probably because 140 characters is just about the upper limit of his attention span. And 140 characters is the perfect length for saying something stupid, and saying it loud. With a lot of exclamation points!!! Trump loves Twitter because he knows he never has to provide details or logically support his arguments in 140 characters. Of course, he couldn’t support most of his bullshit with logic if he spent ten years writing them into a Russian novel. Hmm, I wonder, what would the title be of a Russian novel written by Donald J. Trump? “The Gulag Mara Lago” ? “One Day in the Life of Ivanka Denisovich” ? “Abortion: Crime and Punishment” ? “War and Pussy” ? Actually, Napoleon plays a prominent role in “War and Peace”, and Trump reminds me a lot like Napoleon. Except Napoleon’s hand is always thrust into his shirt, whereas Trump’s hand is usually thrust into a woman’s pants.

And Trump’s other hand is always on Twitter. And since he’s limited to 140 characters, the Donald doesn’t even have to demonstrate he understands the issues he’s tweeting about. Trump somehow manages to always tweet with the same grandiose level of outrage, bluster and threatening huffy-ness on absolutely any topic, especially when he has no clue what the fuck he’s talking about. Just try him, on any topic:

@surrealDonaldTrump:  “Quantum Theory? It’s a hoax invented by the Australians! Scott Bakula is a great actor!! Why no Oscar, academy? Shame!!

@surrealDonaldTrump:  “Picasso and Cubism? There must be penalties for (so-called) artists who support Fidel Castro’s ideas! Cubism!! And only 90 miles from our shores!

@surrealDonaldTrump:  “Handel’s Messiah at the Met? No gingerbread house! No scene where Handel and Gretel get cooked in the witch’s oven? The Met got it wrong!! Boring - cut funding!!

Of course, what he’d really like to do is get the whole Constitution down to 140 characters or less:

@surrealDonaldTrump:  “We/ people -perfect union, just perfect!! More guns- 2 Corinthians. lower corporate tax rate!! No illegal alienable rights- a selfie evidently: life, liberty, etc.”

Trump is the first Twitter President, but he’s also the first internet troll President, and that’s what’s scary; that a man who is always so angry and eager to get into a Twitter war is now able to get us all into a very real war just as fast, and just as furious. The fast and the furious, or maybe the fascist and the furious. What keeps me up until 3 AM? Worrying about what the hell Donald Trump is up to at 3 AM! He gets up at 3 AM not because he thought of something brilliant to say that couldn’t wait till morning, but because he has to pee twenty times a night. He’s not having a “Eureka!” moment, he’s having a “urea” moment. Because no matter how rich and powerful he is, he’s still an old man, with an old man’s prostate and bladder that are just about as worn-out and unworkable as his economic policies. And both his bladder and his economic plan rely entirely too much on a “trickle down” theory that never, ever provides any relief.

So he wakes up every night in the middle of the night, mad at the world and fully capable of any act of irrationality on Twitter. And now, on the world stage. I’m afraid I’m going to wake up one morning and find out we’ve been at war with China for five hours already. I can see the Joint Chiefs of Staff pleading with him, urging him not to go to war, “Mr. President, we can’t risk a nuclear confrontation, it’s madness! The stakes are too high!” To which Trump replies, “Wrong, General, my steaks are very reasonably priced! Believe me. Very high quality steaks.”

Then our military leaders would be begging him to stop the war. “Please Mr. President, there are 1.2 billion Chinese with a standing army of 200 million men! Our troops are being decimated! We told you hours ago to give the order to retreat! If we are to survive as a nation, you must give the order to retreat!” To which Trump replies, “Wait, you said ‘retreat’? My bad. I thought you said ‘retweet’!”

“But seriously, General, we should retweet. We can still win this on social media.”

Hosing Native Americans

I’m deeply disturbed by what’s going on with the DAPL. To us that stands for Dakota Access PipeLine, but to the Standing Rock Sioux tribe, it stands for Damn Americans Plundering Land.

Now I’m a big fan of oil, a really big fan. Fossil fuels? Love them so damn much. They keep me from freezing to death every winter, when New York state turns into the planet Hoth from ‘The Empire Strikes Back’ for five months. More like ‘The Empire State’s Back: A No Hope.’ And even those giant Imperial Walker “AT-ATs” moved a hell of a lot faster than Northway traffic in winter.

So I love oil. I loved dinosaurs as a kid, and now that they’re fossil fuel, I love ‘em even more when they’re driving my ass around in my car. So I understand why we usually look the other way while the robber barons take the land to take the oil, and play the villain in this never-ending Western horse-opera that keeps our lights on. We usually don’t really care that there’s never a Lone Ranger to ride to the rescue and shoot the gun out the villains hand, we’re willing to let the good guys lose if it keeps our cell phones charged. And hey, how the hell did the Lone Ranger always manage to have a non-violent resolution to every conflict...by using guns? I don’t think he ever killed anybody, but he was always shooting and waving those guns around like a guy with flashlights on a runway waving in a 747. It probably was less of a moral stance than the fact that silver bullets were ridiculously expensive. But this really painted an unrealistic expectation for an entire generation of TV-watching kids; that hostile confrontations are more likely to be resolved peacefully once you break out the guns. Everything will be just fine! What could possibly go wrong with teaching kids that random gunfire solves most problems?

And The A-Team? They were an even worse example, they fired guns all day long and nobody ever got hurt. Every episode, the A-Team ended up in a ten minute shoot-out with machine guns at close range, and they still never managed to successfully shoot somebody. These guys were supposed to be ex-military? What branch, the Kiss Army? They must have fired ten million rounds of ammunition over five seasons, but they never managed to kill a single goddam bad guy. Not even accidentally. You’d think someone would at least get hurt tripping over the mountains of spent cartridges. No one ever got seriously wounded or maimed, either. Never a realistic depiction of the awful consequences of close-quarter machine gun fire on the human body. Never a bad guy laying there screaming at the end of the episode, writhing in a spreading pool of blood, desperately trying to cram his intestines back into his body as the A-Team smoke cigars and high-five each other in a freeze-frame over the closing credits. No, when the show was cancelled the body count was still zero. No wonder these guys were kicked out of the military, they were just wasting valuable ammo and helicopter fuel! I guess B.A. stood for Bad Aim. Was it poor eyesight? I think maybe they called them The A-Team because that was the only letter they could read at the top of the eye chart.

But I digress. Back to the pipeline. So the oil companies dig and bulldoze, raze and deforest, drill, lay pipe and pump. That’s where the oil comes from, and we write it all off as Progress. Although, in all fairness, “drill”, “lay pipe”, and “pump” is also where orgasms come from, so let’s not rush to judgement.

The DAPL is a 1,172-mile, $3.8-billion pipeline, which would transport up to 570,000 barrels of oil a day. It’s nearly finished except for a section scheduled to go under the Missouri River. Native Americans of the Standing Rock Sioux tribe are protesting the pipeline, saying any oil spill will contaminate water sources that serve over 17 million Americans. So last week, authorities attacked the tribe with water cannons in sub-freezing temperatures, which put 17 protesters in the hospital. You think we’ve really advanced as a society? In 400 hundred years of Native American relations, we’ve only gone from intentionally giving them smallpox, to intentionally giving them pneumonia. Slightly less life-threatening, I guess, but not a big improvement. Who knows, maybe in another hundred years we’ll only intentionally give them a head cold. Not a bad one, but one that may cause them to call in sick to work and lay in bed all day catching up on TV.

Authorities defended their use of the water cannons. “We warned them repeatedly,” Morton County Sheriff ‘Buffalo Bill’ said at a press conference, “It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again!” Sheriff Buffalo Bill then tucked his penis between his legs and tweaked his nipples for the remainder of the press briefing.

And do we truly appreciate the sheer fucked-up-edness of using water cannons on people who are protesting to protect water? What Federal Agency was behind this? Did they call in the Bureau of Irony Enforcement? What was the plan, was this psychological warfare, to hose the Native Americans until they say, “You know what? Fuck water. I’m going back to the casino. We have towels there, and our odds of winning are better.”

This is like, say, if there was a protest by PETA, and the police came to break it up by throwing cats at them. “This is a legal order to disperse!” Raawr! “You must leave the area immediately!” Mrowwl! “Sir, the protesters are deploying countermeasures, they have balls of yarn!” “Hmm...get me that big tomcat named Pepper, we’ll see how they like it when he sprays!”

This whole situation shows that we as a people can no longer effectively stop large, powerful corporations like the oil industry from doing whatever the hell they want to us and our land. They determine public policy, and they have lawmakers and law-enforcement to back them up. They aren’t even afraid of lawsuits and litigation from this tribe, and this tribe is called the Sue! Sure, they spell it ‘Sioux’, not ‘Sue’, but everybody knows the Sioux were the most litigious of all the tribes. The Apache were the most renowned warriors, but the Sioux were legendary litigators. Man, they were a formidable legal opponent. Their raiding party would ride silently into settlements under cover of the night, and as the settlers awoke, they would hit them all at once...with subpoenas.They were ruthless; issuing restraining orders, ‘cease and desist’ orders, and injunctions (I think that’s actually where the offensive slur injun comes from; injunction).

Then they would tie them up. In court. For years. Led by the great Sioux warrior, Red Tape. They still talk about the greatest Sioux leader, Chief Council, and his partner in the firm, Running Billable Hours. The Sioux were the tribe that successfully negotiated a class-action settlement against the Iroquois League over faulty tomahawks, and they are the tribe that got the zoning variance for the Grand Canyon. They were also, by most accounts, the nation’s first litigators to use peyote to consult a Spirit Guide during jury selection, but Alan Dershowitz later perfected the technique. It’s sad how little of this you learn in school these days.

But take heart! As I write this, an estimated 2,100 U.S. military veterans were bound for the frozen Standing Rock reservation to aid and support the Sioux and their allies battling the oil baron villains. Maybe I was wrong, it looks like there are a whole hell of a lot of Lone Rangers riding to the rescue. Of course, Tonto was really running the show.

If anyone was offended by any of this, please don’t Sioux me.

[s3venpounds]

1-44

neato im annoyed by life so im gonna be passive aggressive

0: Height: 5 foot 6 last time i checked although i think i could be touching 5 foot 71: Virgin? nope2: Shoe size, depends. usually an 8 if its tight fitting shoes like puma but a 10 if its comfy nikes3: Do you smoke? used to kinda wanna now4: Do you drink? not as much as i used to but i’d never say no to a tall stiff drink5: Do you take drugs? medical uses? no. recreational? would be fun6: Age you get mistaken for. too old lmao7: Have tattoos? i fucking wish buddu8: Want any tattoos? yeyeyeyeye9: Got any piercings? i fucvking wiiiisshhhh 10: Want any piercings? i’d love to have spider bites  or that one under the lip but above the chin, and earlobes at max 12: Relationship status single and not feeling it13: Biggest turn ons physical gestures. if youre really physically intimate with me or let me be physically intimate im instantly thinking of you when im not touchin ya14: Biggest turn offs annoying voice, stubborn, smells bad, elitest or princess attitude15: Favorite movie treasure planet16: I’ll love you if: you let me be physically intimate with you, take me out to eat with you ( it doesn’t even have to be a date it could just be like “ hey this restaurant looks tasty come try it with me and if its shit we’ll go to mcdonalds or something)17: Someone you miss Azley.18: Most traumatic experience. Blacking out from pain after being basically curb stomped by my dad when the only thing i did wrong was get a bad mark on a minor quiz

19: A fact about your personality: im kinda a piece of shit but not enough to be intolerable i have SOME redeeming qualities lolol20: What I hate most about myself. stubborness, my face shape, skin, hair, lack of independance, indecisiveness, and negative attitude to most things/skeptical attitude21: What I love most about myself. idk???? how much i like to play volleyball?22: What I want to be when I get older. im old af right now so like?? i guess a power ranger actor either the stunt devil or cheesy actor is fine with me23: My relationship with my sibling(s) shit24: My relationship with my parent(s) even shittier25: My idea of a perfect date. well first assuming i did this my way from the get go : i would use details of when we first met and talked, use every detail. hobbies you mention, stories youve told etc. and incorporate it into the date. “theres this really delicious burger place in downtown “ blah blah blah i’d take them there in the morning, have it to go and go to a local park and people watch , talk more details and if its easy to bring into the plan then i’ll do so. I’d love to go to stuff that interactive, movies seem like such a waste for a date. i mean you literally pay to sit down in the dark for an hour with someone i dont see how that could be romantic? i mean yeah conversation topics but like what happens if both people one likes the movie and one doesn’t? stuff like karaoke or mini golf! maybe carnival rides or cat cafes! something you can talk and have fun at the same time! then at night ish less casual stuff and more formal stuff. Museums, art galleries, fine dining restaurants, reckless choices maybe even gambling at a casino. doing illegal things under the cover of night like trespassing or even going to sentimental places like an old school they used to go to. cap the night off with maybe a movie to fall asleep to.26: My biggest pet peeves. closed minded, stubborn people. elitest and under handed/ ill intentions. bad body odor guh SHOWER. AT LEAST ONCE EVERY 2ND DAY ITS NOT HARD. dishonesty and “i didn’t lie i just didn’t tell the truth”27: A description of the girl/boy I like. I said some bad shit and now they dont talk to me so its my fault but like i still like em lol i’ll probably not get over it but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 28: A description of the person I dislike the most. he comes home every other weekend to look disappointed at me and have a big speech that pretty much just says “hey youre a giant piece of useless shit” well hes right but like dramatic af dude just say fuck you and move on lmao29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend. for their own good in my own mind. i dont do that as much nowadays because i just dont even think about it anymore it just happens ¯\_(ツ)_/¯30: What I hate the most about work/school. it costs money to make money. like????? has anyone even thought about this???? in the end we just break even????31: What your last text message says “ah well, every family’s got something”32: What words upset me the most. i texted the bus transit so its just bus times for the stop near my house lol33: What words make me feel the best about myself. probably lyrics to a song i like. OH OH “ You got the makings of greatness in you, but you gotta take the helm and chart your own course! Stick to it, no matter the squalls! And when the time comes, you’ll get the chance to really test the cut of your sails and show what you’re made of! And… well, I hope I’m there, catching some of the light coming off you that day“

34: What I find attractive in women. face, boobs,body shape, short/pixie cut hair, tomboy taste in clothes?35: What I find attractive in men. jaw line/face shape, haircut, formal clothing, deep voice, brightly colored eyes that contrasts darker color hair, washboard abs and hollywood pecs, oh and shoes/accessories.36: Where I would like to live. venice, italy. or santorini Greece

37: One of my insecurities. my hair and breath38: My childhood career choice. psychologist was the earliest i can think of39: My favorite ice cream flavor. vanilla specifically french vanilla40: Who wish I could be. Zack Effron or Tom Holland(best friends with zendaya? hell yes) OH OH or gal gadots husband or something thats be pretty sweet

41: Where I want to be right now. 6 feet under or in a parallel universe where i got my shit together already?42: The last thing I ate. tea with a shit ton of brown sugar43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately. gal gadot.44: A random fact about anything. the mitochondria is the power house of the cell