#he takes time to cool down and understand their perspective before punishing them

[not-another-robin]

Happy Father's Day to Robert Hawkins specifically

[dalamusrex]

I'm curious, what makes Sin and Dal work? ewe

Good Question!! And an important one!

Considering Dal:

Distrusts/Fears magic

Fears HEALING magic especially

Is usually naturally distrusting of werebeasts, and

Is barely religious at all

How did he come to love a Werelion who's an Agent of Mara and a healer at the Temple of Mara? If I'm completely 100% honest, when Sinbadaen asked Dalamus for permission to court him, Dalamus initially said "yes" because he was desperate for companionship after his divorce. And perhaps Sinbadaen was desperate in his own way, having thought he had found his Mara-Given Partner in another, but it was not to be. But they chose committment, and the love bloomed later.

They were wary of one another at first! Vampire. Werebeast. To each other, they're one of the few things that could be a threat. Sinbadaen was more gracious about it than Dalamus, tending not to jump to conclusions despite his beast blood reacting. Dalamus, while normally fond of jumping to conclusions as a twisted form of self-preservation, was given very little reason to be aggressive or hostile thanks to Sinbadaen's calm demeanor.

They first began getting to know each other while Dalamus was married to E'hla. Specifically, while Dalamus' marriage was rocky with E'hla. He would go to the temple when at rock-bottom and would pray to Mara despite believing she had no reason or desire to help him. He and Sinbadaen spoke many times on this topic as Dalamus attempted to work through his feelings and issues and make his marriage work. Sinbadaen got to see and talk to Dalamus at some of his most vulnerable moments over the years, and therefore know him just as well, if not moreso, than even some other friends or family.

So Sinbadaen saw what was underneath the prickly mask of Grump that Dalamus so often wears, and he starts understanding why Dalamus is that way. And in that time, Dalamus had learned of Sinbadaen's own struggles with his beast blood. Rather than repelling each other, their struggles as "monsters" brought them together. They knew what it was like to be persecuted for it, especially when their "slip-ups" can have deadly consequences, and were able to offer support to one another.

They both grew up with terrible family situations full of abuse. They know what it feels like. They know what it does to a person, and how it can affect a person. They responded to it in different ways--Sinbadaen becoming withdrawn, subdued, and putting others before himself, sometimes to a fault--protecting himself by remaining unobtrusive but helpful. Dalamus became quick to anger and lash out, selfish and aggressive--protecting himself by hurting others before they could hurt him, also to a fault; sometimes innocent well-meaning people get hurt.

In being extremes, when they come together they can offer other perspectives and bring each other closer to a healthier median. From Sinbadaen, Dalamus has learned how to slow down and think about others' perspectives, to have some empathy, and to be more considerate with words. From Sinbadaen, he gets thoughtful patience and clear explanations without making him feel infantilised, offering grace and gentle correction when Dalamus makes mistakes, rather than punishment.

And Dalamus, in turn, tries to help Sinbadaen have more confidence in himself, to put himself first sometimes. He teaches Sinbadaen that selfishness is good sometimes, that taking care of himself before others is not a crime. Dalamus also hopes to help Sinbadaen love himself physically with intimacy.

And they both assure the other that they're worthy of love, despite their past actions. They both encourage each other to speak their feelings rather than keeping it holed inside.

If Sin is the daytime, Dal is the nighttime. If Sin is the warmth of sunlight, Dal is cool rain. If Sin is a cleric, Dal is a dark knight.

The fact that they're so different and yet simultaneously very similar and compliment each other is what makes me love them so much 💖

[myimaginarywonderland]

So, I am going to make my stance very clear on this because I just read a wonderful article (linked below for anyone that is also interested)

Free practice is essential and the argument that F2/F3 has less doesn't make it any less essential. F2 and F3 have always been behind when it comes to innovations, changes etc. as people have always favoured F1 and it's always been a huge problem how those grids had less safety measures etc. The treatment of F2 and F3 has always been horrible especially when you consider they get essentially no way of communicating their wished as they have nothing like the GPDA. They should. Just as they also should have more free practice time.

But in the end, what F2 and F3 has that F1 doesn't is there cars are all much more similar. That still doesn't take away from the fact that they should have more practice but it gives a different perspective on why they don't. Yes set up still makes a huge difference but you have similar comparisons in certain things something that you don't have in F1 because the cars from F1 teams are all complelty different while F2/F3 at least share some similarities. F1 engineering I would argue (and I hope everyone agrees with me) is more complicated than for many other categories and especially when you have such a different car from others, you need more time to test set ups, be sure in strategies etc. to maximise performance.

I definitely agree that F2 and F3 should have more free practice because they also deserve more running time. But the grid is different than an F1 grid.

Another point that he made is sprint races which apparently we have to get into again so here it goes: Sprint races are shit. I don't care that it's an opportunity to get points and I don't care that it might be cool once in a while. If it's on Friday you can make the same argument that goes for Free Practice which is: Who will have time to watch it or rather who wants to watch it? The problem with Free practice is that it falls on a day where many people have work or similar things like university which makes them miss out. And yes I have seen the argument that some fans won't watch it which is totally fan! But do we really think they will watch sprint races? The problem is just like a normal race a sprint race really doesn't do much in terms of positions unless something crazy happens. There's usually nothing to gain from sprint unless a car breaks down etc. I also don't think drivers should get the chance to get a better position before a race if they messed up their qualy. Moving on from that because I don't know why it was brought up and I don't know what relevance it has on this discussion other than being another dumb decision by the FIA which punishes backmarkers who might have had good luck in a qualy.

Jake Hughes (a current FE driver) did a great tweet about what George said that actually focuses on something he criticises. Yes F2 and F3 should get more practice.

No, that doesn't mean F1 should have less.

Also I would not talk about the amount of "extra" races F1 has because that's a whole different problem. The extra races also don't benefit? Every track needs the same amount of practice because they are all different (asphalt temperature, hot temperature in general, possible weather conditions etc.)

So in one line: I strongly disagree with what George said, I don't understand why he said most of those things and Max once again looks out more for his team and driving than most other drivers apparently.

[fizzigigsimmer]

I've always sympathized with Tommy too, because the narrative just wasn't very fair to him. He was a major prick but then again so was Steve. But we're not really given much evidence that he was a bad friend to Steve before Steve decides (quite literally out of nowhere) to change all the rules of their relationship and tell him he's an asshole who doesn't care about anybody but himself.

On the contrary we are given several strong pieces of evidence (including the one you mentioned) that indicate Steve & Tommy’s relationship is not as shallow as the typical friendships between bully jocks and mean girls. Before their breakup we never see Tommy talking behind Steve’s back, or tearing Steve down. We never see him challenging Steve’s alpha status or egging him on to continuously prove he deserves that status. We don’t even see him punish Steve for going outside of the social norms and dating Nancy. In fact we don’t even get solid evidence that there was any friction caused by Steve dating Nancy until Steve is shouting that Tommy “never liked her”. Which yeah sure, we can read as far into that as we want to. But not liking your friend’s girlfriend isn’t a crime and doesn’t make you a bad friend or a bad person. What we do see Tommy do a lot is defend Steve. And when Steve gets his ass kicked by Jonathan Tommy doesn’t even say anything mean about it until Steve is on his bullshit.

And even if it was coming from a sympathetic place, Steve really is on his bullshit during this scene. The whole narrative is. I mean Steve is a prick. We’ve been told time and time again that before this moment he was the king of immature douchbags. So why is it that one of his biggest redemptive moments seems to forget this entirely. His fight with Tommy is framed from the viewpoint of ‘Steve breaks free from peer pressure and ditches his shallow friends who don’t have any real people feelings’, and it just really doesn’t work. It’s so badly constructed it’s laughable.

There Tommy and Carol are, trying to make their so called alpha-leader guy feel better for getting his face beat in by the nerd who stole his girlfriend by being the same people they’ve always been. And out of nowhere Steve barks at Carol to ‘shut up for once in her life’ and proceeds to tell them both what awful garbage bag people they are for doing that thing to Nancy that he happily let them do when he was in his feelings. Tommy doesn’t even start threatening him when Steve says he should have shoved the spray paint down his throat. He pushes Steve because Steve gets aggressive with Carol. Which is an interesting stroke for a guy who is supposed to be having an epiphany about how to treat women. I don’t know how anyone can watch how Steve behaves in this moment and not agree with Tommy. Whatever Steve was going through internally the way he snapped on her wasn’t okay.

And while I understand a teenager not being able to perfectly articulate their feelings or take personal accountability that doesn’t shift the blame onto others, I’d feel a lot better about this moment and Steve’s whole redemption arc following, if it wasn’t so clear that the writing doesn’t understand that this is not personal accountability. This is not heroic or cool and Tommy & Carol are not “the bad influences” that Steve just needed to break away from in order to be the good person we know he can be. It rubs my soul all wrong that there are whole swaths of Stranger Things fandom who adamantly will argue that there is strong evidence for Steve “not really” being a bully and primarily being guiltily of hanging around bad people (aka Tommy & Carol).

Peer pressure is nuanced, I get that, but Steve was the ringleader. Baby I love him too, but those are the facts. Steve was the one with the privileges and the social power. Steve was the one kids were calling King and looking up to, not Tommy. And from Tommy's perspective, his best friend - the dude we’ve seen him do nothing but defend and emulate the entire season - just goes feral on him because apparently he’s realized that Tommy and Carol are the real scum here, and not as good as the girlfriend who is making eyes with the dude who took pictures of her having sex with her boyfriend.

And then they’re just never friends again and Steve never realizes that he owes his friends an apology and a chance to see things from his new perspective on life. And the Duffers really said, #growth #kingshit

I mean why is anyone surprised that when Billy came to town Tommy was all like “that’s Steve Harrington, do not trust that fugly skank bitch?”😆 It’s high school, and frankly Steve earned that grudge.

Was re-watching s1, steve and nancy scenes (for the fic I'm building) and you know what?? I fucking miss Tommy. He was actually a good friend to Steve, like he always got his back. In his own asshole way, but still. The scene where Jonathan and Steve have a fight and then cops come? Tommy tells Carol to run and stays with Steve, and then they run off together. I hate hate hate it that we never saw more of Tommy after s1. Tommy and Carol, I miss you

[serpent-of-the-silver-plumes]

would you mind talking more about bart and unreliable narration? I always hear people say unreliable narration but I've never seen any concrete examples from media I actually consume so I'd love your thoughts

Oh absolutely!! I actually wrote a thing about this a while back but then went 'this is not well written' and it got buried in my drafts, so I’m glad to have an excuse to pull that up and rewrite it. (Also sorry, this got really long.)

Basically, at one point I was listening to a podcast (Be the Serpent, ep 4), and they categorize different kinds of unreliable narrators into three types: the narrator who knows they are lying to you, the narrator who is lying to themself (and therefore you), and the narrator who is lying because they are missing some key information. I would argue that the three main pov characters of the Bartimaeus Trilogy each represent a different type of these unreliable narrators.

Going in backwards order, Kitty is the narrator who lies because she is missing some key information, at least until the third book. As a commoner, even one who is part of a resistance movement, her knowledge of magic is extremely limited and biased. Were we to go off of her point of view alone, we would get an inaccurate view of this world and the power dynamics that exist within it: that magicians are somehow special in holding magic and that they have evil demons who work alongside them in shared mischief/hunger for power/whatever.

However, because the books include other points of view, the full impact of that unreliability is not realized.

Similarly, Nathaniel lies to himself, especially in the later books. He ignores how much he personally contributes to upholding a system that depends on the oppression and slavery of other sentient beings, and squashes down the last traces of his moral compass. I don’t think he ever really questions the system of government or if it should be there and work the way it does.

To some extent, we do see through his unreliability as well, because Bartimaeus is around to keep a check on him and tell the reader that no, the magicians and their imperialism are bad, that spirits have very good reason to hate humans, and give us other world building details that contradict what Nathaniel believes.

But some of it is about what is going on inside Nathaniel’s own head, so there is also a lot that can’t be fully seen by an outside perspective that has to be assumed by the reader. Like he will deny the sentimental feelings he has towards Ms. Underwood and the guilt he had over Kitty’s supposed death and the fact that he even remotely cares about Bartimaeus, but actions speak louder than words.

Because both of these characters’ unreliability stem from a lack of understanding, having other perspectives in the book in some ways cancels out their unreliability, and actually ties their unreliability more to their character development than as a plot/narration device. Kitty grows more reliable throughout the series while Nathaniel gets less so until the end. This doesn’t make that unreliability useless though, especially in a series aimed for children. By getting each character’s point of view, we can see where they are coming from and how the knowledge and views they have affect the way they act, but there is also someone else to point out how they are wrong, to make you question how true what each individual says is.

Bartimaeus is entirely different from the first two characters. His narration is told in first person, unlike Nathaniel and Kitty’s third person. He talks directly to the reader and goes off on tangential footnotes that are not necessarily part of the events currently happening in the story. Because of this narration style, he also has the power to lie more directly to the reader than any of the other characters.

Given his life, it is understandable how he has gotten into the habit of lying. Every moment of his existence on Earth is spent under the power of someone else, so he lies in order to protect himself. There are some instances where he lies to his masters in order to escape punishment or to lead them into danger so he can be set free, but he also lies about his feelings because he cannot afford to be emotionally vulnerable.

For the most part, I think it can be assumed that the dialogue and most actions that happen in his pov chapters are told as they are, since much of that lines up with what goes on in the other characters’ perspectives, and also there are at least a few things that show him in a less-than-flattering light that he would probably leave out or change if he could. Instead, the lies he tells are largely about his past and his emotions, often done through exaggeration or omission, and cannot be collaborated by others.

When lying about his past, Bartimaeus frequently exaggerates his prestige and role in history. In Ptolemy’s Gate, Bartimaeus says that he talked to King Solomon about Faquarl’s tendency to brag about his historical importance. Even beyond the obvious irony, in the prequel we see Bartimaeus’s time at Solomon’s court, and while it isn’t technically impossible for him to have talked to Solomon about Faquarl, the timing and circumstances make it extremely unlikely. Although his other stories cannot be proven or disproven with what we know, this instance and his general tendency to brag outrageously makes it very likely that Bartimaeus at the very least embellishes.

However, despite being super showy about his past, Bartimaeus doesn’t actually include much important information. He very rarely talks about his great feats as a thief or assassin or anything else. When he lists his accomplishments, he describes building walls and talking to important historical figures. There’s a post somewhere (if I find it, I’ll link it) that explains this as being a way for Bartimaeus to try to take control of his reputation and therefore his life; by associating with safer jobs, he is less likely to be summoned for very dangerous and morally reprehensible jobs.

He does generally try to portray himself as clever and collected and just generally more cool than he actually is. There’s a moment at the end of the first book where he describes himself as trying to calm Nathaniel who is freaking out, and then the next chapter is from Nathaniel’s pov which describes him as being the calmer one while Bartimaeus is a fly anxiously buzzing around.

I don’t remember the exact line, but in the second book there’s an exchange that goes something like this:

“____” I said calmly.

“Stop your whimpering,” Kitty said.

The way Bartimaeus portrays himself is straight up contradicted by the more factual account of the words and actions of someone else. And presumably there are plenty of other times that we do not see contradictory evidence where Bartimaeus straight up lies about how he is reacting to something.

But one of Bartimaeus’s most unreliable points centers around humans. Throughout the books, he constantly talks about the ways he has killed and would like to kill his masters, if given the opportunity. Nathaniel is an exception, one that Bartimaeus does admit to the reader, but even in the third book when he talks the most about how he would kill Nathaniel or even join a demon rebellion if Faquarl offered right then and there, Bartimaeus does not actually follow through on these threats when he gets the chance. Despite all of his talk about how much he hates humans, Bartimaeus has as much of a positive relationship he can have with as many humans possible, given the circumstances.

A lot of his unreliability centers around Ptolemy, which is what some of Bartimaeus’s biggest lies of omission are about. In the first book, we do get the sense that Bartimaeus has a soft spot for at least some humans. His excuses of saving and looking after Nathaniel in order to avoid Indefinite Confinement, while likely not entirely false, do fall a bit flat. We even get a mention of “a boy I had known once before, someone I had loved.” Although this is not explicitly connected to Ptolemy at this point, mentions of brown skin and the Nile make a pretty obvious connection to Ptolemy, especially as Bartimaeus describes taking on Ptolemy’s form several times later on. There is a less obvious hint too, “I sat on the ground, cross-legged, the way Ptolemy used to do.” Even without knowing much about what kind of relationship Bartimaeus had with Ptolemy, that kind of detail shows ‘a devotion to detail that could only come with genuine affection, or perhaps even love.’

It isn’t until the third book until we learn anything substantial about his relationship with Ptolemy, and even then he doesn’t tell the whole story. The fandom jokes about how Bartimaeus just casually mentions in a foot note that he prefers a lioness form because the manes are annoying, and it’s not until the flashback that you find out that the mane is part of what got Ptolemy killed. And even with the flashbacks, you still never see the time that Ptolemy visited the Other Place.

There are a lot of posts on this site that talk about how Bartimaeus absolutely was idealizing Ptolemy, and how there’s some evidence that he isn’t the perfectly sweet never-did-anything-wrong innocent child that Bartimaeus describes him as (notably that part where he was vaguely annoyed that people kept coming to him to ask for help and interrupted his research). Not that Ptolemy secretly sucks or anything, but it’s really easy to let nostalgia skip over the less dramatic details of Ptolemy being an actual human being with flaws.

In summary, I would argue that all of the trilogy protagonists are unreliable narrators to varying extents, and Jonathan Stroud is a genius for how he manages to make it all work.

[fluffywolverine]

so season 6 of lucifer came out.

there were some things that i liked, but generally i hated it. i believe that was SUCH. BAD. WRITING and it left me frustrated. so i decided to write down all things that pissed me off and sometimes i try to fix this by giving other ideas that – in my opinion – would have made the story better. Check my points out and feel free to add your points of view. without further ado: let’s talk.

- imma start with the big one – fucking time travel. ok I generally hate this trope in the media, because it’s complicated and often leads to some logical mistakes – and they happened here. so rory time travels because of her anger which was caused… by her anger?? i think this was unnecessary. it also brings trouble with this whole free will vs. fate discourse. lucifer says, that he chooses free will… but at the same time he goes the path of his fate. he disappears from rory’s life, because he HAS TO in order of the events of the season to happen. just because he chose to do it, doesn’t mean it’s free will.

- lucifer becomes the very thing he desperately didn’t want to become. “bUt It WaS fOr ThE gReAtEr GoOd” screw this bullshit, if writers wanted to make it better, they could have easily do so. they could have altered the rules of time travel so that his choice of staying could have resulted in rory disappearing. yes, that would have been heart-breaking, but it would have been a great lesson for lucifer, that he can’t make the same mistakes his father did.

- chloe and Lucifer get a child without even talking about it. “bUt MaYbE tHeY tAlKeD aBoUt It We JuSt DiDn’T sEe It” you may say. but the point of writing anything  - whether it’s a book or a script – is to show any thing that matters. and talking about having kids is one of the most things any couple should do. also not every couple needs to have kids and forcing deckerstar to have it feels so far-fetched. this thread was very unnecessary.

- rory herself is a big problem. to begin with – she wanted to KILL her FATHER. i get her frustration, but commiting a murder?? just because he wasn’t there for her?? I would have thought that chloe taught her better, taught her that, like, killing people is bad. turns out she did not. secondly… she just isn’t necessary here. i elaborate later so in conclusion – her thread could be altered with michael’s and it would have made much more sense. i also don’t like the actress (why was she blinking so much??) so i certainly didn’t help.

- of course ella has to end up with a boyfriend. because earlier she always ended up with “bad boys” and now, without any help, she is just able to have a healthy relationship! yay! for me this creates a toxic view, that in order to be happy one HAS TO be in a relationship, because being alone is aLwAyS bAd. well, it’s not.

- i also have troubles with lucifer starting up a foundation for her. firstly, he didn’t ask her. secondly it – AGAIN – shows, that anything good ella got, was because of another man. firstly because of her relationship with carol, secondly because of lucifer’s idea. it could have been so easily altered! there could have been a scene of a conversation e.g. with amenadiel where she expressed a will to do better and be better for someone (given that she sees a lot of dark in herself). amenadiel could have then told her, that she is an inspiration and that it is her biggest strength. that could have been where ella came up with an idea to start a foundation blah blah – it’s just a rough idea but I believe that written well, it could have been so much better;

- and the last thing about ella – of course she had to find out about celestial stuff because sHe WaS tHe OnLy OnE rEmAiNiNg. umm what about trixie? i'll come back to her later. ella was portrayed as the only one believing in god and having her seeing that he really exists ruins the concept of faith. it’s not about knowing something exists, it’s about believing in it.

- WHERE THE FUCK IS MICHAEL. i must admit that i loved this character AND I CAN’T STAND HOW AWFULLY HE WAS TREATED HERE. so at the end of season 5 lucifer says “everyone deserves a second chance, even you michael". and what does he do then? COMMANDS HIS TWIN TO CLEAR THE FLOOR IN HELL. yes, i agree that michael should have been punished for his rebellion plan, but… he already has his wing cut off. now he’s stuck in hell, with no way out and is he supposed to learn his lesson? this is cruel. instead of this the entire season could have been centred on him – his journey to self-acceptance, learning how manipulating someone is toxic and starting to realise how to be a better person. at the end he could have become god (because amenadiel is such an obvious choice), which would create a beautiful connection – michael in heaven and his twin in hell.

- lucifer doesn’t feel like being god and that’s cool. damn. people died for him to win this place and he’s like “actually you know guys i’m not the right person bye”. while i believe that anyone should step out if they have a reason, but at the same time lucifer should have faced any consequences of his decisions. falling frog and kool aid in the river are not enough.

- adam’s plot feels just quickly sketched, not actually written. i really appreciate this take on toxic masculinity but it all felt too fast-paced. it’s good that they show this idea of “strong and not-showing-any-feelings man” kind of attitude, but it is impossible for ANYONE (especially The ManTM) to change their mind in a matter of a few days. it takes weeks, months, years even, especially given that adam is like a gazillion years old, he should have especially taken a long time to process this.

- carol is just too pure to exist. he’s also one of the most boring, plain and one-dimensional character i’ve ever seen. i feel like they gave him a problem with alcohol because the writers were like “hmmmmm he has to have some weakness. LET’S MAKE HIM AN ALCOHOLIC”. we don’t see any signs of his everyday struggle, why did he fell into this problem, how did struggle. it just feels like a dull plot device to show that he has flaws. oh and also he’s so pure that he doesn’t mind ella BREAKING INTO HIS HOUSE. acceptance should have boundaries and violating someone’s personal space isn’t right.

- why did they forget about trixie again? yes, i know that scarlett estevez had another project but this does not justify the bad writing. the girl lost her father and we only see her crying once because of that. no signs of this affecting her everyday life, not showing any consequences of her relationships with other people, not  glimpse of any change in her behaviour. oh and also she loses lucifer too because time travel! great idea, writers! losing another close to her person would have been soooooo good for her psychic for sure.

- i also hate the idea that suddenly rory becomes the only child they care for. where is trixie when they spend their day on the beach? where is she when her mother dies? did writers forget about her as well as they did about michael?

- amenadiel being a police officer is… problematic. i was looking forward to this thread, i was kinda scared too and it turned out… meh. i’m white and not American, so this of course does not involve me at all, but i felt like this was not enough. harris basically said that there is nothing they can do to make it better for black folks. even though chloe and amenadiel want to make everything more just, we don’t actually see any change. the only thing is that harris becomes a detective (right? i’m not sure if i understood it correctly, so correct me if i’m wrong, please) which is a total contradiction of what she said before. suddenly she does not have to protect people anymore?

- in season 5 they stated that heaven and hell need to be fixed, as the system is unfair and unjust. at the end we don’t see any change, the only thing that is different is lucifer helping damned souls. it doesn’t help at all! these people still go to hell, they still suffer and there’s nothing that changed here! plus there is also this thing, that a sociopath who murdered people in cold blood goes to heaven (because he does not feel any guilt) and a person abused by her parents/partner/whoever goes to hell (because have been manipulated to feel guilt).

- dan making amends with trixie while… there wasn’t really anything to make amends about. like, most of the parents make mistakes while upbringing their children, but does this make them unworthy of heaven? i would have preferred dan to slowly regain his self-consciousness, how he positively affected the lives of people around him and by doing so – through conversations or maybe reliving some of the memories, he could have proved to himself that he is worthy of love and redemption.

phew, what a ride. i really liked dan being reunited with charlotte (it went just as i imagined) and mazeve dynamics. i even felt like they are finally a real life relationship – with people hurting each other by not understanding each other, but then talking and seeing other’s perspective. generally though, i’m very disappointed.

sorry for any mistakes, lacking commas etc. writing a text this long in not my native language was not easy.

[kumaradosha]

I’m seeing a whole lot of bad takes and ignorance of past/present content and lack of critical thinking or ability to understand character motives regarding this most recent Dream SMP lore. So please, allow me to lay down some facts, some sense, and also some speculation of my own. This’ll be really rambly, because I’m tired, and I want to say a lot. Rewatching ALL the streaming perspectives now, my thoughts start here:

Considering Sam doesn’t want to enter the cell to dirty his hands himself, he clearly has some aversion or moral qualms about torturing prisoners, but Quackity has convinced him to go along with it. Quackity spends a lot of time before he goes into the cell repeatedly making sure Sam won’t have a change of heart and intervene, which indicates Sam probably has some misgivings. Quackity feels he has to remind Sam that this is for the greater good and to stand back and let him do his thing and that this will probably be the last time. These are all reassurances and instructions that would not be necessary if Sam were known to be totally cool with it all already.

Sam believes the stringent measures Dream put in place for the prison are just desserts for him to suffer, but Techno doesn’t deserve the same cruelty, because Techno didn’t enact those rules. And that’s why Techno gets baked potatoes from Sam, and Dream doesn’t. Sam clearly believes this harsh treatment is justified, because Dream was going to do it to someone else. He thinks he’s being just. Of course, allowing the torture, though not his idea and not really comfortable to him, was still crossing a line, considering physical torture was not something Dream did to his victims (and besides, there’s the argument that not everything a criminal has done is morally correct to be done to the prisoner regardless). That, he was convinced, was for the greater good, to get the revive book. Quackity manipulated him; he thinks he’s doing what’s best, but no, of course that doesn’t make him right or his hands clean.

Sam wanted the dog dead because it’s a security risk, especially with Quackity entering the cell with two other people. He killed it later for the exact same reason. Y’all act like nobody else has ever killed an animal in Minecraft RP; get it together. Is Sapnap also evil? Tommy? He killed his own cat. Random animals are not treated with the gravity you guys are giving them; it makes no sense to call out this one time.

When Techno raised the point that he would be fine if Quackity killed him, because Dream could just bring him back, Dream countered with his warning that Techno doesn’t want to experience death, judging by how messed up it made Tommy. What motive would he have to argue that, aside from actually caring about Techno’s well-being? If Dream was only thinking of himself, he would benefit from Techno being willing to die and be brought back to life by him, giving him an easy reason not to give the resurrection knowledge to Quackity. I honestly can’t think of a reason he would argue other than the fact that he doesn’t want Techno to die even temporarily or experience death--that he cares. Interesting...

Dream hiding in the escape tunnel to make it look like he disappeared too was 5,000 IQ, but he didn’t do it just to be silly or smart. Quackity literally threatened to kill Dream when he came back. Dream HAD to pretend to disappear, because he was legitimately in fear for his life. You saw how terrified he was when Sam found him, how he just immediately begged him not to tell Quackity. He was afraid Quackity would come back and kill him before Techno managed to come back and break him out. He believed that would be his fate and had to make a last ditch attempt to avoid that outcome.

Phil confirmed on stream that the blueprints Techno was led to via coordinates are for the prison. Not Tubbo’s missing nuke, like I’ve seen speculated.

“Steve is your polar bear” was written on stream during the “Prison Podcast” Technoblade lore. This is not a mystery. Dream said he wrote it down when Techno started talking about Steve rescuing them.

If Sam doesn’t approve of Quackity killing Dream, why doesn’t he just tell Quackity Dream is still in the prison but not allow Quackity in anymore? Quackity needs Sam to lead him inside, to let him in. Since when did he have any power against Sam to force him to let him in? I don’t understand why Sam has to keep it a secret just to keep Dream alive. Just don’t let Quackity into the prison anymore. Clearly it was a bad idea, since all these security risks happened while Quackity was getting a free pass to not follow the rules of the prison.

Dream casually walking in the way of Sam’s pickaxe to disrupt his swing once Sam almost had the bell broken gets me every time.

The rapport between c!Dream and c!Sam in prison fascinates me. Clearly Dream is much bolder with Sam than Quackity and still seems to trust his sense of duty to a degree. Sam is also more malleable, convinceable, his fatal flaw being actually listening and talking to Dream, even after it clearly messes with him psychologically. He let Quackity manipulate him, too, and he compromises too much. That might seem weird to say, considering the harsh conditions he has Dream in, but. He does give in to a few things.

I’m wondering if Dream wanted to go to the courtyard hoping it was less secure and easier for Techno to break him out of.

Sam has no reason to lie and gaslight about Dream being the one to suggest raw potatoes and sealing up the courtyard. That’s not in his character to do. So clearly Dream suggested these things. In fact, we have proof. Search for the clip of Dream revealing a teaser for future lore, with him telling Sam the hole in the courtyard ceiling for the light is a security flaw. He straight up says that. Update yourselves. Furthermore, are the recordings we have of Dream suggesting nicer features for the prison even lore? Are they in-character, or was it cc!Dream and Sam making plans? I’m genuinely asking, because I don’t remember/am not sure. In any case, clearly the plans changed at some point, and they were Dream’s idea.

Dream said he didn’t realize how bad it was until after he experienced it. This could very well be a lie. However, it could also be a wake-up call. We just don’t know. Dream clearly possesses low empathy, and every person at some point doesn’t fully realize how poorly another being can feel in a bad situation. Sometimes it actually does take experiencing it yourself to realize how it feels. People can do cruel things to others before the empathy fully clicks. It is possible that Dream really does only now understand how harsh his plans were. Unfortunately, it’s just as likely he doesn’t care and is pretending to, because he has a history of acting, lying, and manipulating. We just do not know, and I think that’s part of the fun, the speculation. Note that none of this is excusing what he’s done; that bores me. I just like understanding characters and their psychology and motives.

Sam is ASKING if Dream had this prison built for Tommy. He is suspicious that that is the case. Dream did not TELL him this, because OBVIOUSLY Sam would have absolutely nothing to do with building a prison he knew Dream meant for Tommy. So no, Sam thought it was for something else. And guess what? It was. Back during the disc war finale stream, Dream told Tommy and Tubbo that the prison was originally intended for someone else (maybe multiple people, the number was not specified), but that he changed his mind and would now put Tommy in it (ha ha punny). Tubbo asked who it was originally intended for, and Dream wouldn’t tell him, preferred to keep it a mystery. Dream had zero reason to say this if it weren’t true. In fact, it would have been more impactful to pretend (or admit) he intended it for Tommy all along. Think of the horror, or even the betrayal finding out Sam, his friend, helped make it. So yes, there is every indication that it is the truth--Dream meant the prison for someone else at first.

And Dream didn’t argue with Sam’s accusations, because why WOULD he? If he didn’t tell Tubbo who it was for, he wouldn’t tell Sam now. Plus, he wouldn’t want to argue with Sam, make him more heated and less sympathetic, and risk him deciding to tell Quackity Dream was there after all. Dream has no reason to speak up. Let Sam think what he wants. Dream’s silence does not mean confirmation. This is not a new thing with him. He keeps things mysterious, and there is a lot about his planning and mindset he does not disclose.

Now, whether Dream made the prison harsher before or after he decided he wanted Tommy in it is up for speculation. We don’t know that timeline.

Anyway, Sam’s speech about Dream getting what he deserves is really delicious. All these people out here mocking Dream fans for Dream still being in prison (like Techno’s not imminently coming to break him out, hello?) and being told off by Sam, yet plenty of us are enjoying it, too, like?? Bruh, what kind of Mary-Sue-touting asshole likes characters who are flawless who never go through strife? Can’t be me. I love watching my favs through triumph AND despair, so this is all just a win for me, thanks.

It is possible to sympathize with a bastard who is highly flawed and wrong AND to understand his motivations without justifying his actions AND to realize he deserves punishment (though to what degree I don’t care to argue). All the black and white morality and taking one extreme stance of “this character is perfect!” OR “this character is wholly evil and only ever does things to be sadistic!” and polarizing the community is cringe, yo. You need to calm down. Enjoy the ride or like...get off?

Anyway, Dream is my favorite, Techno is my second favorite, I adore Sam, I really enjoy Quackity, and the SMP wouldn’t be the same without Tommy. So much love for all of this creative work and its creators. I’m having a blast.

[rare-yanderes]

(F/H) =favorite hobby.

I have the weirdest crush on this freaking duck and I don’t know why, so I’m taking out my confusion on this matter by making him yandere. Sorry that this is so long, boring and slow but I’m a sucker for slow burns and just dislike instant love. This went from just from headcannons to a freaking long ass story. I think I’ll make more on how the reader reacts when they find out just how mentally fucked Scrooge became.

Who knows, maybe I’ll write one for good ol’ Flinty. I have a feeling he’d just drop kick any rival he spots without much qualms about it. Meanwhile, Scrooge has a full on psychological derailment.

TW: manipulation, dependent behavior, stalking, and more.

______________

•To be honest, the likelyhood of Scrooge turning into a yandere might be higher than you think. He’s capable of self defense and can fight. He literally hunts treasure for a living. He also has a trillion dollar stockpile sitting around begging to be used for cover ups. His determination is pretty crazy, and he’s seen a lot on his adventures, things that would kind of instill a paranoia over time or an unhealthy me mentality. He can easily hide behind a professional front. Oh, and if he so wanted, he could travel and bury any evidence under a volcano. :)

•Since this is a yandere AU or, I’m gonna go with the idea that this is a what if the show had a TV-14 rating as well, so much darker themes can link and be explored.

•After pretty much a century of adventure, most of which includes violence and fighting through perils, human or not so, Scrooge is desensitized to quite a bit of violence and the dark and greedy side of the world. He’s seen the best of people and also the worst. This plays majorly in anyone who becomes a yandere; how exposed they are to people’s bad side or their own dark tendencies.

•Scrooge himself is not perfect and has demonstrated some traits of greediness, paranoia, and general distrustful behavior which is perfectly reasonable considering his work and the things he exposes himself too during it.

•Even though he loves adventure, there are a lot of bad things that happen on them that he seems to bottle up or keep to himself. Bottling up things causes a negative buildup in anyone, especially Scrooge because he expects that loving his life’s work will repair the same damage it sometimes does to him.

•Most likely, Scrooge developed an affinity with you through your similar drive for adventure. Maybe you worked for him in some way and he saw you defend someone or maybe you outsmarted one of his adversaries on an adventure he decided to bring you on. Regardless, you’ve caught his attention and this is only the beginning.

•A rival love interest’s biggest mistake is mistaking his age for a weakness. One minute he’s complaining about someone being on his lawn, the other they’re buried under it.

•Scrooge would probably connect most if he’s seen that you used to be in his shoes before, or at least a similar situation. Maybe you’re struggling financially but working your ass off to stabilize your income. As someone with the humble origins of a shoeshiner, Scrooge understands perfectly. Despite his incredible stockpile of wealth, he knows what’s it’s like to be at rock bottom.

•At first, you’re probably obviously very suprised with Scrooge’s involvement in your life. He’s from an entirely different world than yours after all, the top of the pyramid. Depending on your origins, you might react quite differently. Currently, you managed to find yourself stuck in a job you hated, working for someone you despised. It was a miserable, repetitive job that brought to your life a void of boredom.

•You craved adrenaline, even if it would get you killed, you finally figured that at least you’d go out with a spark. Putting on a smiling face, you accept a position at McDuck industries thinking that it was going to be another office job. By your luck, (or, later on, unfortunate luck), you managed to score a position that required you to be near Scrooge quite often.

•This gave both of you time to acquaint with eachother and the opportunity for him to see the potential in you as an adventurer instead of just an employee. Scrooge rarely lets people in beyond family, and is quite reserved so he himself questions what he sees in you at first, distrusting you even.

•When you are taken on your first adventure, you nearly boil over with eagerness. There’s a worry at first of the treachery involved but eventually, as you venture on more and more explorations, that fear dulls and you think the adrenaline as far more important than the possible loss of your life.

•Craving adrenaline is the main reason at first as to why you to want to stay around Scrooge. Despite his repeated attempts to brush or push you away, you find yourself excited every time you get to explore and finally get to see a world that you thought you’d never visit.

•Still, Scrooge remains cold and you can’t figure out why beyond the reason that he’s just a pessimistic old capitalist. As much as you want the adrenaline, you kinda can’t help but eventually enjoy his presence as well despite his temper and general grumpiness. Having been alone for over two decades without friends does that to someone. You needed warmth again.

•Maybe you grew attached to all the times you felt you were winning when you snubbed an artifact. Also, after collecting and sneaking a few gold coins into your own pocket, you were finally getting out of debt and on track to actually start your own business involving (F/H). You had the dream that you could travel where you wanted and finally find peace from your own mind and problems.

•Scrooge, despite his own warnings to himself not to persue, can’t help but offer you a job working for him. You made adventuring a million times better and were a great addition to the team, providing your own perspective or plan for the times he and his family would journey out. Oh, and he’d finally get the opportunity to be around you more. It was refreshing to see how optimistic you managed to remain despite your current financial predicament. (Which he contemplated solving.)

•Soon, however, Scrooge began to see that you were not as happy go lucky as you pretended to be, at least not when you weren’t on another treasure hunt. Something appeared to be gnawing at you. Deep down inside, it appeared to plague you and Scrooge began to worry for your well being and as a too curious for his own good duck, he needed to know what was going on. Especially when he had caught you quickly wiping away tears while you began to head home. What could possibly be causing you this pain?

•He had to find out and to his own realization, he had to know now. After all the times you saved and helped him, he wanted to make sure you were at least doing alright in return. He ordered Launchpad to tail you home and Launchpad, oh so very loyal, doesn’t question it much.

•Most yanderes might suffer from the constant delusion that their victims love them back or that they’re in the right but that’s not the case with Scrooge. There are times where he does try to justify himself, but this is mainly due to a fit of rage or to play innocent to you. Most of the time, he knows his actions are wrong and the burning temptation is causing a war. Very early on, he suppresses his curiosity and the growing feelings he has about you. Especially when they begin to boil into something far darker. Although he’s done this to nearly everyone, being cold to you and pushing you away seemed to be his way of trying to ensure your well being instead of his. He was finding it hard not to think about you sometimes.

•Soon enough though, he begins to grow inquisitive about your personal life as you open up to him and define yourself as a person instead of another blur. You were always quite genuine to just sit around and talk to him and despite denying it to himself, Scrooge was lonely, especially after the Spear of Selene. Sometimes you’d joke to him, sometimes you’d think philosophically. Sometimes it was just a mutual, comfortable silence.

•Scrooge might make excuses aloud to you, but doesn’t lie to himself. All the times he’s made you work later or given you an extra dose of paperwork was because he wanted to keep you around and in his line of sight. 12 hours without you was turning into a painful reminder of how isolated he was, even with Beakley around. You were a warmth, a cool, calm warmth.

• “I’ll eventually need to know her address later on in case she’s attacked by one of my adversaries anyways.” Nope, Scrooge wasn’t fooling himself with that sentiment. He knew he was invading your privacy, but he also knew that he was too nosy to care enough.

•The main problem is that although Scrooge knows a lot of what he’s doing isn’t right, he begins to care less and less. (Though this process takes quite a while.) You’re a valuable and positive part of his life, you had stayed when everyone else had abandoned him for his admittedly awful mistakes. He can’t lose another person he treasures. Especially not you. You’re becoming the shiniest yet. Losing you might mean losing himself in some sense.

•Scrooge tries to shake off the guilt but only finds that maybe it’s better to punish himself by feeling it. He’s currently following along your path to wherever your destination currently is.

•Of course, his iconic shiny limousine would be a sore thumb sticking out to both you, the media, and Duckberg in general so he makes sure to either trail far behind or to have another mode of transportation available. Regardless, Scrooge never hires another person to watch you in place.

•Scrooge doesn’t even install cameras. He’d rather experience your life from his own two eyes and not as reported from another bird or screen. He rather liked tracking you himself. It gave him a place to go and at least he’d be able to bask in your duality himself. Sometimes you cried, he found to his own breaking heart. Sometimes you’d smile, (mostly only in his presence, to his delight.)

•Most of all, though, you seem caught in the present of life. Distracted, even. It seems though, that sometimes you’re so distracted that you don’t even notice something is off. Or maybe you yourself are too unable to break the cycle of adrenaline adventure to see it. Maybe you yourself were actively creating excuses, at least at first as to why you sometimes ran into Scrooge McDuck everywhere.

•If there’s something else Scrooge is a master at other than money, it’s with keeping up the detached and reserved persona of a wealthy individual. After all, who would suspect him of such crimes like these? He’s just a selfish, greedy businessman that only cares about his wealth, right? He’d never bother with other birds unless he was shaking hands at a conference table.

•Wrong. As you and him grow to become more like mentor and student, Scrooge begins to insert himself everywhere he possible can in your life, especially after seeing the shitfest that was your social group, what little of it there was. Apparently, you’d finally made a few friends over the years working for him and there was only one out of all of them that Scrooge approved of.

•Two of them, both identical Peacock twins appeared to be fascinated with your link to him and nothing more. It made some sense. After all, who could say they were a close worker to the richest duck in the world? The other one, a tall and lanky chicken, was getting far too handsy with you, and the final, a feline male was nothing but gossip and drama.

•To add to insult, you were a pretty big pushover outside of work which meant that they would drag you to places you didn’t even want to go and pressure you to have drinks you didn’t want to taste. They were in love with the mask you put up, not the complex and amazing face behind it. The one that you were beginning to let Scrooge see.

• Scrooge watches from a distance as your laugh reverberates. The laugh appears to Scrooge as unwavered and solid, mechanical in nature like it was a reoccurring script. Gazing at your face, he could see that your smile was strained, beak scrunched. You just wanted to go home and nothing more.

•The chicken next to you he was sucking a cigarette and the smoke blew in your direction, replacing your laugh with coughing and the others cackled with drunk glee, their solo cups tipping as they did. You blew it off as an accidental push in the wind which, by the way, wasn’t even blowing.

•Out of all of them, Scrooge hated the lanky chicken, who’s name he learned was Gale, the most. You deserved far better than that. Surely you saw through his sleazy act, right? Why were you hanging around such a ratched group of birds? Just how blind were you to their usage of you?

•Almost without even realizing it himself, Scrooge had tailed you the entire way home. After having to torment himself with an hour of seeing you torment yourself, he figured that maybe you’d find something that made you happy other thanyour little flock of “friends.”

•So he was admitting to being a stalker to himself. Did that mean he’d be able to admit it to oblivious ol’ you? Well, no. At least, not for now. Not until you trust him completely. Oh well, he’ll never go further than then that, right? He was watching you, but not engaging in any way. Nothing worse could come out of it..

•Wrong.

•After a while of having you working under him at McDuck Industries, Scrooge began to realize just how much financial control he had over you. Not only did you depend on him cod for paycheck, your landlord worked for someone who worked for him. In other words, the spot of land you were living on was an apartment company that belonged to him. You were living under one of his roofs. All he’d have to do was shift some circumstances and you’d either be homeless or debt free forever. Scrooge of course, plays the benevolent route and lowers it significantly for you. Why antagonize you?

•After having taken that action, Scrooge noticed more and more of a smile on your face as you realized that you didn’t have to depend paycheck to paycheck for food on the table. He had also been aware that you had a side hobby now, involving (F/H.) sometimes you joked you’d start a business and go off parting ways with that hobby. It was source of entertainment to watch you be..Well, you. There was this genuine behavior about you that just drew him in.

•If Scrooge wasn’t adventuring with you or at a meeting also with you, he was still with you. You just didn’t know it yet. Interestingly however, you’d begun to pick up the signs that there was a presence in your life. Whereas you didn’t close the blinds before, you did now. Or maybe that was from all the adventures you’d nearly died on fighting others off. Maybe it was paranoia.

•Eventually, Scrooge managed to break into your apartment under the guise to Launchpad that he’d been invited by you. A ludicrous lie, of course, but Launchpad is gullible to a fault when it comes to Scrooge. He’s loyal like that, and his friendliness to you plays into Scrooge’s emotional manipulation later on.

•As Scrooge sneaks in while you’re still home, he makes his way behind the kitchen counter which seperated your living room. He didn’t expect you to be right there in the living room, but you were, just five feet away from him and the window he snuck in. The window was to your right. He had carefully parted the curtains. Your couch was sitting approximately five feet from the window balcony, facing a corner of the wall with the T.V off.

•Peculiarly, you hadn’t even noticed he’d entered by rigging the door. You were right there, not staring at his direction, but he should have at least appeared in your peripheral. Just what were you doing to be so disconnected to the reality around you? It was worrying.

•Now hidden behind the counter directly to the left of you, he observes your desensitized form. For a moment, Scrooge thought you were a corpse until he peered closer. You were still there, physically. Mentally you looked as if you were in a whole other dimension. In a rather bold move, Scrooge slowly stands up and positions himself in the archway, watching you from his spot.

•You were still, so very still unlike all the times you’d fidget at work or with those “friends.” You still breathed and your hands shook slightly and there was color to your eyes but you yourself didn’t even seem present whatsoever. Your eyes were glazed and far away. It was just your body sitting there in that couch. It was worrisome and yet there was a blissful smile to your face seconds later.

•It was you, daydreaming about something. Something you obviously enjoyed. Scrooge, to his own shame, hoped it involved him. For a few more moments, all you did was sigh like you were meditating. It was haunting how easily you had lost yourself within the confines of your tumbling mind. Somehow, you were blocking out the world beyond, maladaptively.

• Scrooge knew he was taking a huge risk. All you’d have to do to spot him now was swivel your head a few inches or wake up from dreamland. It would take a few inches to ruin what you thought of him.

Just then, to Scrooge’s horror, you had slowly picked yourself off the couch. Your body shuttered as your head snapped up. He knew he was taking a huge risk with this and began to think that maybe it was a terrible idea after all. (Who was he kidding, it was terrible in the first place, he knew what he was doing.)

•He quickly fell back to his crouched position behind the counter, silently and expertly as you turned around and made your way closer and closer. There was a tense moment in which Scrooge contemplated just knocking you down completely and rendering you unconscious. All it would take was a few seconds. Maybe you’d forget or maybe he’d give you the dreamland you seemed so desperate to reach. It would certainly give him peace of mind to know where you are 24/7..All he’d have to do is knock you out and take you to the manor. You’d be secure and have everything you need there…

•Your presence was setting him alight, in the good way and bad way. He loved being near you. But hated the idea of you getting any closer right now, because you getting any closer would ruin your trust in him entirely. A few more steps is all there was between the idol you saw Scrooge as and the monster he was growing to be. You were like a fire. The heat scorched his feathers. Then, when you were away, his thoughts.

•Your steps were louder than they’d ever been. Then, to Scrooge’s unbelievable luck, you turned towards the hallway away from the kitchen. Scrooge knew not to push his luck trying to follow or stay, so despite his clawing urge to figure you out, he hesitantly snuck out with unanswered questions on your concerning mental state.

•It had been a months since that incident and Scrooge was moving onto bigger and bolder actions. Sometimes he’d swipe you away from any conversations you had with your friends by calling you in for a task. Sometimes he’d eat up all your time by keeping you in late, and taking you to places far away that required days of travel.

•Sometimes he’d drive bad influences away by financially ruining their life forever.

You noticed Gale’s downfall quickly, but you didn’t have any idea it was Scrooge who was responsible. Gale lived actually, three complexes from you and oh so suddenly, rent had begun to skyrocket in the particular room he had to himself. This led to him being presented with an eviction notice. You didn’t even have the chance to say goodbye. (Not that you wanted to, though.) deep down you were glad he was gone and Scrooge knew it. Gale had to move far off to find an affordable spot. It was a mercy considering how often Scrooge had dreamed of just throwing him into the ocean tied up for the sharks to find. He was a toxic influence.

•Maybe if someone pushed his button just right, Scrooge would end up killing them, and who would care? There were seven billion fellow people on the planet. Scrooge could just get rid of any threat he wanted and no one would notice or ever suspect it was him. After all, he’s just a grumpy old man with a cane.

•It turns out, Scrooge had picked up on your plans to possibly quit your job. He had never felt his heart sink like it did now. He was fighting off his initial shock as you stood in his office, masking it with a detached face. You hadn’t even confirmed the statement. All you’d said was that maybe you’d found a company within your favorite hobby.

•It was just a small implication. But, Implications could become statements, which could turn into actions, and Scrooge couldn’t let the thought even be a presence in your mind.

•You had stayed with him throughout the years of his loneliest moments, had confessed secrets, had confided in him. You were like his pupil, learning from him and you were like his partner, fighting alongside him. Maybe you were something different altogether.

•...Was it a friend that convinced you? It had to be. Scrooge knew how much you enjoyed galavanting around the world with him. There’s no way you’d just fly off without him.-

“I promise I’ll still occasionally go with you, Scrooge. (A first name basis. This was devolving from anything normal.) I found my passion. We can still adventure together, but I found a path that also makes me happy and doesn’t ya know, get me killed.” You chuckle as if it were nothing. A light joke.

•So you were leaving. You were going to go. Why? You had a great paycheck, (an expensive one that took a lot of money,) you had the opportunity to travel the world. You had the best job you’d ever get. Who else was going to be as good as him? He won’t let you destroy your future by applying for a Mediocre position at some dumptruck company.

•As it turns out, the bird responsible for swaying you was none other than one of the peacocks, her name was Shelby. She and you laughed, and for the first time, your laugh was genuine. Genuine with her and not with Scrooge. You both shared each other’s stories, and she in return had encouraged your little dangerous fantasy of being independent.

•Now of course Scrooge realized how ridiculous this all sounded. He had willingly allowed you to go on perilous adventures with him, but at least then, you were with him. How could he keep an easy eye on you if you just moved off to some rando spot? Plus, he was plenty good as saving you. He was your hero.

•Bad influences needed to go away.

•Scrooge might lie to himself about how much it digs under his feathers, but to see you around other people really dug wrong. He itched every time you decided to take advice from other people, or confide in them instead of him. He was the one you could go to, not them. Your secrets didn’t need to be shared with anyone else but Scrooge. All those rare and precious things that made you yourself didn’t need to be snatched by thieves like Shelby or Gale or whoever else.

•He knew that his criminal actions would scare you. Even with your growing trust and dependence on him, he knew it was too early for you to want to stay with him if you knew what he’s been doing. If he wanted your presence, he’d keep it through lengths you’d find terrifying.

•Scrooge found your biggest flaw was that you always attracted the wrong crowd, and it was primarily because you were always trying to impress others when they really didn’t deserve the magnificent canvas you painted yourself to be. To his even greater detriment, you were beginning to spend your time more and more with Shelby. The canvas you painted was beautiful, as always. But it wasn’t for him, and he found that he was not happy with this new development.

•Don’t you know people take advantage of kindness? It happened to him all the time and still does. It happened to you over and over and yet you kept venturing forth giving out your trust like it was nothing. The world is a sour place if you’re not careful. Cursed kilts, you were already naive about Gale. Who knows how badly future people would hurt you, even if they were well intentioned.

Scrooge could tell that, despite him insisting otherwise, you thought leaning on his shoulder was burdening him. He wanted to make sure you knew it was anything but that. As a matter of fact, he wanted you to lean on his shoulder every moment he possibly could get you to. What was just you occasionally asking for advice on impersonal things becomes entire sessions with Scrooge encouraging you to reveal every personal detail of your life.

•You had revealed that many times, you just wanted independence. A company of your own to possibly build so you could pursue life your own way. Scrooge knew these dangerous thoughts were one of the final roadblocks. Scrooge had to prevent them. Be it through roughening you up financially or discouraging you. Be it from murdering outside influences, too. Who was going to miss the miserable miscreants that plagued your life anyways?

•It is three days before the date you had decided that you would resign. Instead of being merry, you were miserable. The opportunity you had to get the job was burned by them not even calling you for an interview. After your resume, why would they reject you? You had the word of one of the finest businessmen out there to back you up. Scrooge himself promised to put in a good word for you! You were perfectly qualified for the job you were looking for. In your days of being rejected from the position you wanted, you confide in Scrooge. You don’t know it but as he pats your shoulder, he’s thinking of the next way to sabotage your efforts of leaving him.

•Shelby ends up going missing. She was one of your closest friends and the only one who finally treated you well. Your devastation causes a major setback in any ambitious plans as you isolate yourself from anyone else but only the closest person left in your life; Scrooge.

•Currently, you were enveloped in a warm hug, the side of your face leaning in the crook of Scrooge’s neck as he calmed your crying form down, patting your back and promising you his presence would remain forever. You wept at Shelby’s funeral, so did her twin sister and their parents, who, upon seeing Scrooge, had nearly fainted in shock.

•Despite your tumultuous relationship with Shelby, she had actually begun to redeem much of her previously antagonistic actions towards you. She was in a rough place when you had developed a connection with her. So you wept in your boss’s, or rather, your best confidantes arms. You wept.

Scrooge, however, did not.

[csykora]

hi! i'm sorry to bother you, i was wondering if you could rec a few books on the russian 5 / soviet hockey in general? language does not matter, english or russian is fine (pref. english so i can throw them at friends but either work). your posts are the best thing on this site.

Thank you, that’s a great question! I go back to first-person accounts for stories about the players themselves and use a lot of non-book materials for facts like tournaments and statistics, so most of the these will be autobiographies, but there are a couple more general books too.

Please let me know which if any of them you read and what you and your friends think!

I'd recommend anybody start with Igor Larionov’s 1990 book, “Larionov” (originally written in English, but I believe also available in Russian).

It’s a fast read (150 pages). You can dive in, spend an hour with your new best friend Igor in the bathroom at a party listening to him spilling his feelings and relationship drama, and get up to speed on what/who you need to know.

Igor at that age is funny, insecure, over the top, and telling (sometimes on purpose, sometimes not) about his pain. There are bits that might make you want to hold up a finger and ask if he’s sure a conversation went down like that or if maybe his friends remember some things differently--those are some of the bits that made me look for more books.

He writes more on the psychological weight of his experiences, but does discuss some of the physical abuses (more of that is in Fetisov’s book, which I’ll get to below.) It’s one of the most intimate portraits of Viktor Tikhonov—Larionov admits to taking notes on his coach just like his coach did on him. In that sense, it is radically different than the books and articles I’ve read by North Americans.

(Note that he talks about disordered eating, from the perspective of someone who at that time believed this was positive. The passages where he describes his own and his teammates’ diets can be difficult to read. Consider reading Alyonka Larionova’s essay in the Athletic after; it’s not an easy read either, but I found it reminded me there’s the possibility of change and healng even for older people from generational trauma.)

Then try either:

Home Game, Ken Dryden, 1989 (English), the chapter “No Final Victories”

A lot of Canadian men have read Ken Dryden books and thought, ’if I’m looking down anyway, why not navel-gaze about the meaning of life and measure my dick?’ This is, I think, not his fault. He’s writing from a very Canadian perspective, but he’s quite good at writing about that perspective and its gaps.

In this chapter he talks about what Canadian players or the public thought they knew about the Soviets between the 70s and ’89. It lays out a thorough, engaging play-by-play of how Larionov, Fetisov, and others worked toward leaving, and is a nice balance for the raw Igor experience.

This is one of the most popular all-time hockey books, so it’s worth looking for it in your library if you want to just read that chapter.

or

The Russian Five, Keith Gave, 2018, about 300 pages

I like the heart behind this book. There’s good information in it. Keith Gave wrote short, quick, newspaper and radio sports-news for 15 years—he has a deep knowledge of the Red Wings not just on the ice but as an organization, a very interesting personal adventure story, and a sort of eagerness to understand and empathize with the Russian players.

It’s his first time doing historical research or writing a book, so I do think he has trouble telling the things you need to know in the order you need to know them in order to care about them, if you don’t already have a good sense of the timeline.

Hard to find but keep an eye out for:

The Red Machine, Lawrence Martin, 1990

A much longer discussion of Soviet hockey focused on the national team from the early twentieth century to 1989. Has more context, vignettes, and details on the backstory of the ’70s/early 80s team and life at the Soviet training compound than many other books in English.

It’s widely cited by other books but it’s out of print and a bit rare—I think I might have just bought the only copy that was up for sale this year, so I’ll post about it in more detail when I can!

Russian options:

Овертайм, Slava Fetisov, 1998, reprinted in 2016 (Russian), about 400 pages

This is where the really rough details are. Fetisov writes about his childhood, life in CSKA, and leaving. He mostly talks about his own life, rather than saying much about other players, but includes lots of little details about daily life and how it was intertwined with his friends. He has time to get a lot more detailed about the physical strain of training than Larionov’s book, including injuries, players who died in training, the deaths of his brother and injury of Konstantiov in car accidents, and the corporal punishments and other violence, including the time he alleges Tikhonov arranged to have him tortured by police.

I think his writing is very evocative and enjoyable to read, so that helps, at least.

(It’s a bit hard to find, but if you have access to a Russian library or second-hand store, keep an eye out. It was re-released as part of a series in 2016, which is after he talked with Alexei Kasatonov and became official BFFs again, so I don’t know if the text was updated at that point.)

Tretiak: the Legend, Vladislav Tretiak, 1987 (originally written in Russian, but widely available in English!)

This one’s very interesting to think about the psychology/culture of Soviet players. Tretiak writes heartbreakingly about his own personal experiences, especially his relationships with older players and his relief at retirement. But there are also a lot of ‘missing’ details that probably reflect how he wrote it before Larionov publicly discredited the system—he only writes quite vague positive things about Coach Tikhonov, which are completely different from how he speaks now.

Хоккей в моем сердце, Boris Mikhailov, reprinted 2016 (Russian)

I will never come up with a book title as good as Boris Mikhailov’s ‘Hockey In My Heart’.

Mikhailov is very witty and sharp. While he doesn’t tend to talk about the details of his conflicts with Tikhonov, he has great little stories about lots of the people in Soviet hockey. He also played and coached in St. Petersburg and smaller regions as well as Moscow, so he has some interesting information on the contrasts.

Viktor Tikhonov: Life in the name of hockey by Tatiana Tikhonova

Sasha Mogilny once commented that the only people who could stand Tikhonov were his wife and his dog, “and I don’t know how they do.” Would you like to read his wife’s book of pictures of him with the dog? Would you like to read about how she thinks Tatiana Mikhailova is a bitch, which immediately makes Mikhailova seem cool as hell? Try this book.

Xрустальные люди/ Crystal People, Stanislav Gridasov

A detailed portrait of the hockey community in Saratov (where the young Boris Mikhailov played before CSKA). Completely different than the rich Moscow system, it seems like a great counterpoint, showing the regional tensions in the Soviet Union. I was just recently tipped off to this, but you can find excerpts of in English in Bruce Berglund’s new 2020 book The Fastest Game in the World: Hockey and the Globalization of Sports, which itself looks pretty good.

[linkspooky]

I know you wrote a post about Nobara's "selfishness" (for lack of a better word) and I really enjoyed it! Though I'm a bit confused with how her interactions with Saori and Fumi play into the larger themes of the story? It feels like it contradicts her character a bit, since shes shown to be so caring towards them and not much anyone else. What are your thoughts? Also thanks for always taking the time and care for our asks. They're really cool analysis.

Instead of selfishness I’d use the word “Egocentric”, basically Nobara decides everything based on her own opinions and beliefs without ever bending to others. In other words, she’s a real headstrong gal. But yeah, it’s exactly as you said. Nobara contradicts herself in a way that doesn’t make sense, and that’s the point. 

Nobara treats everybody else like they’re crazy and she’s the only normal sensible person on earth. Nobara, describes crazy people as “Loud, and stepping over others” and Nobara... is a loud person who loves to boss other people around. Her entire character is written under this contradiction of crazy / normal as Nobara herself sees it. I’ll explain more under the cut. 

1. A Normal Girl, A Crazy Girl

So, Nobara’s introduction shows us these two contradictory ideas of her. Nobara is just a normal girl from the country side, in fact how she tells it she’s the only sane one from her home village. 

Nobara has this everybody else is crazy but me, mentality. Which makes sense as she saw everybody else turn against her friend that had done nothing wrong. They all persecuted Saori because they weren’t thinking for thmeselves. Therefore, in Nobara’s mind, her individualism trumps everything else. She doesn’t want to follow what the crowd says because the crowd will hurt people unfairly. Nobara’s not really motivated to save people at the same desparate way Yuji is, but she has a strong sense of justice. 

She doesn’t like when Mai punishes Maki for what the Zen’in family did to Mai. She doesn’t like when people are treated unfairly, or people lash out blindly due to circumstances. So to her the worst result would be to become someone who hurts other blindly like the people in her village did. 

However, Nobara’s response is to just shut out everybody else’s opinions all the time. Which is why Nobara is lacking in self awareness. She sees herself as the only normal person in the world, but literally right in her introduction chapter Gojo announces that she needs to be headstrong and crazy to survive in the world of curses. 

So, Nobara’s bull-headedness means she tends to treat everyone like they’re enemy. Not that she’s incapable of being friendly with others, or cooperating with others. It’s just she tends to be defensive, which is why we see this Nobara flip. 

Nobara acts bossy and short tempered with Yuji when he’s at a distance. When Yuji closes that distance a little bit, she starts to act sweet, and then immediately she snaps back to her usual bossy and difficult to please personality. 

The entire point of Nobara is this behavior is inconsistent. Nobara sees herself as a normal girl, but she’s a loud and obnoctious crazy person at the same time and because of lack of self awareness she tends to just flip between the two unevenly. As I said above, it’s mainly a mechanism for keeping others at a distance. Nobara really only lets people with like-minded views or those she respects up close. 

Are Yuji, Megumi and Nobara friends? Are they just teammates? Are they accomplices? One point of the Origin of Obedience Arc is to show that while Megumi, Yuji and Nobara are close they’re not /that/ close. Nobara and Yuji know almost nothing about Megumi’s past. Megumi and Yuji deliberately decide to keep secrets from each other. It’s a fact that people in the Jujutsu World avoid closeness because they can die at any moment, and Nobara and Megumi have even experienced the loss of Yuji once already. 

So, part of Nobara avoids the vulernability of letting people get too close. The point of showing the flashback from Fumi’s perspective is to remind us once again that like. If instead of a reader, you were just a person in Nobara’s life, she’d be really difficult to understand because Nobara just flips like this all the time. 

It’s hard for Fumi to understand and keep up with Nobara, because Nobara never really lets Fumi in to the same extent she did with Saori, and so Fumi really only has what she can observe from the outside to go off of with Nobara’s behavior. 

So we don’t know why yet exactly, but we know even before Saori, Nobara shut people out. I mean probably part of the reason Fumi and Nobara got along as friends besides growing up together is that Fumi is someone who will quietly watch from a distance because she’s too shy to speak up, and that’s more comfortable to Nobara. 

What happens in the flashback is also, kind of normal. It’s not some big secret or tragic backstory, but it did shape Nobara’s views of the world. As I said, part of Nobara’s character is that she acts crazy, but she is also kind of just a normal girl from the country side. That’s part of the fun of it, she has the ego of Gojo, without being the magical chosen one bodhivista.

Nobara found someone she really opened up to in that village, after believing she couldn’t open up to anybody else in the village, and when she lost that person Nobara cried for the only time that Fumi can remember in their entire childhood. Nobara doesn’t let people in easy, and when she loses them after letting them in, it hurts a lot, hence why she avoids that vulnerability. 

So the twist is Saori wasn’t anyone special. She was just a normal girl that Nobara liked. But also, she didn’t need to be anyone special. Nobara just kind of put Saori up on a pedestal because she was the first person she let in that close.

Fumi wanted Nobara to cry when Nobara left the village because they’ve been friends for all that time, and friends are vulnerable in front of each other, but Nobara is really kind of bad at showing that vulnerability. It’s obviously there, she’s just hiding it. 

So Nobara’s tendency was to treat everybody else in the world like they were crazy and she was the only sane one, as a means to avoid getting close, and she also put Saori up on a pedestal as some super special friend. Except, this is just Nobara’s weird contraidction. Nobara actually fits in with other people, especially other crazy people quite well. Saori was just a normal person that Nobara happened to get close to, and Nobara in her time in the Jujutsu Academy has gotten close to other people as well. 

What Nobara needs to learn is to let her barriers down and just be more open around other people, listen to other people besides herself, because they’re not going to stomp all over her. She can remain a strong willed individual and also accept other people at the same time, people are complex like that yo. What she regrets as she thinks she’s about to die is that she didn’t get as close as she could have been, because she really liked all of those people, she was just putting up a front .

Those people in her life made her happy. She had been avoiding the pain of being close all that time and in her last few moments Nobara thinks that getting close to those people, getting to know them, didn’t hurt after all. 

[still-a-morosexual-help]

OBEY ME! LESSON 49 DETAILED SUMMARY + THEORIES

One locked lesson

Mammon, Luke & MC are visiting Diavolo’s hotel. Mammon talks about wanting to book a suite and have a party, Luke says he doesn’t like the devildom opening businesses in the human world cause he’s scared they’ll take it over completely. Barbatos says that Diavolo is only interested in coexisting in peace & if he’s gonna snitch to Michael he should tell him their actual intentions. Luke says he’s not a tattletale Mammon vehemently disagrees with that. Barbatos reveals that Diavolo & Levi have started staying up till dawn gaming together (I’m so happy they’re friends!). Mammon said he never knew that Levi previously had issues against Diavolo. When Luke asks where Diavolo is Barbatos tells him he’s out on a date with Lucifer. Mammon asks about Barbatos’ choice of human clothes and MC says he looks really good in it. He says the look he was going for is ‘tea leaf importer’. In a private lounge Barbatos serves them fairy ring tea which surprises Mammon & Luke. In the Devildom on rare occasions small sparkling golden flowers grow in a ring rather than the more usual mushrooms, and the teas is supposed to smell like those flowers. He says despite what the ring is made of there’s a legend they form when fairies dance in a circle. Luke says the tea smells and tastes amazing and MC asks if fairies are real. Barbatos says fairies in the human world are supposedly extinct and us humans are really fucking up the ecosystem huh

Mammon seems really disappointed by that and when MC asks why he says that treasure can be found near fairies, leprechauns are also related to fairies btw. Barbatos says there’s still a chance there are fairies somewhere in the human realm – there are rumours about fairy rings made of flowers in the human realm which can only be caused by fairies whereas mushroom fairy rings have a scientific explanation. And that there are rumours that those flowers can be used to make a rare sweet. Obviously Mammon & Luke are excited about finding fairies for their own reasons (AND is this gonna be a Mammon & Luke lesson!??? I desperately need that) and MC says lol good luck with that anyway byeeeee~ Mammon & Luke immediately strongarm MC into coming along. Barbatos tells them to bring some flowers back and he’ll make tea for them out of it. Luke & Mammon briefly argue about whether they’re after sweets or money, and Luke wonders where they might even start looking. Mammon suggests going to a library to find out what they can and Luke is surprised Mammon suggested that to which Mammon gets annoyed.

Mammon suggests splitting up to be more efficient and Luke is surprised ‘efficient’ is part of Mammon’s vocabulary. MC can go with either of the boys. With Luke; they find books about angels and demons, including a picture of Michael but nothing about fairies. Luke says the picture doesn’t capture how amazing Michael really is. MC can say A.) that Luke seems to really love Michael. He says everyone loves Michael before remembering the brothers and saying they’re the only ones who don’t (no offense but everything I hear about Michael has made me highly suspicious of him too – I’ll get into that later). B.) MC asks how Michael’s been doing lately and Luke says the way they worded it made it sound like they know him personally. But he says it’s understandable that they’re curious when Michael’s the greatest angel to exist (how can you say that when Simeon is literally raising you!?). He says Michael is till sad about what happened with the brothers and seems to regret it and that though their portraits are no longer in the Celestial palace you can find Michael standing and staring at the empty spot looking lost time and time again – that though he doesn’t say it, he misses them (I’LL GET INTO IT). Luke says that the brothers are happy in their new home and have forgotten the celestial realm and Michael and that after meeting them Luke acknowledges that they have a FEW good qualities but whenever he remembers Michael standing under that empty spot and how the brothers don’t even stop to think about how Michael feels or to look at things from Michael’s perspective he gets pissed off (do…do you think Luke knows about Lilith…..I – I highly doubt it because the circumstances behind her death and everything we’ve seen and heard about the celestial realm so far makes me feel like the brothers were completely justified to leave it all behind). With Mammon; He finds a book about Angels, Demons, Fairies and their worlds – though it’s mostly about angels and angel!Lucifer. Mammon asks where the part about him is and MC says they’d love to hear about his time as an angel. He says he was really talented and that Lucifer recommended him to be a Cherubim (so the others as angels said that angel!Mammon could do anything he set his mind to and we’ve seen that despite what his brothers say Mammon actually has a pretty vast array of skills and can really step up and be the responsible big brother when it’s needed so am I the only one who feels like Mammon’s that ‘gifted’ kid in highschool who got burnt out and then said fuck it and decided to stop trying? And now everyone looks at him shakes their head and asks wtf happened to him? Solmare gave me a blank canvas of a character to project on to and instead I go and choose Mammon :))) I’m in pain). Michael & Raphael treated Mammon like he was a problem child but Lucifer saw his potential (GIVE ME THEIR BACKSTORY!). MC can ask A.) If he was sad to leave the Celestial Realm. He looks surprised and then thoughtful and distant and says he never thought about it. He says dwelling on the past isn’t his thing but if he had to pick he’d say he didn’t miss it. But he doesn’t hate it and or like he never wants to go back and that he doesn’t hold a grudge (okay so usually during a Mammon centric lesson I write this after I finish the whole lesson instead of one by one after each chapter like I usually do and I’m gonna tell you things happen that show that he might’ve been unconsciously lying about the grudge thing). He says he doesn’t know how his brothers feel and that they maybe less happy with the celestial realm than he is (calling back to the grudge thing we know Mammon tends to bottle things up emotionally, specially when it’s things that hurt him, we also know that right after they fell Mammon was the one who took care of everyone so I think it’s very likely while the others had their emotional fallout about Falling and Lilith and being Demons and Satan’s birth Mammon just never got the chance as he was taking care of their well being and I have this whole fic floating in my head about it let’s see if I put it into words). He says even if they wanted to it’s not like they could go back )  B.) If he loved Lucifer back then. Mammon goes Loved!? LOVED!? -ED!? PAST TENSE!? I still love him and fjeodkkfnak BABY! (love that angel!Mammon refused to admit he loved Lucifer while demon!Mammon was like fuck yeah I love him what’dya think!?). Mammon then blushes and then tells MC not to tell Lucifer cause he’ll get a ‘I knew it’ look and grin like he was self-satisfied. Given how happy Lucifer became the last two times Mammon admitted to caring about him and how in the recent lessons Lucifer said he didn’t think his brothers love him I really want them to tell Lucifer. In the end they don’t find anything. Mammon wants to quit. Luke doesn’t want to, he wants to see Michael’s face when he eats one of the Legendary sweets. Mammon gets annoyed saying that Luke’s always going on about Michael and asking if he’s worth it (NO GRUDGE HMMMMMM?!) Luke gets really pissed in return. Mammon laughs and tells him to cool down and that despite being a demon he’s being honest and asks why a ‘goody-two shoes angel’ so pissed (no grudge huh? I mean it’s miniscule rn but everything’s way too complicated for Mammon to be just over it). Solomon interrupts them and tells them to stop shouting. Okay so first off starting from S2 Michael’s being brought up a LOT and I’m pretty sure MC spoke with as well and nearly met him and he said he’ll have to meet them on a later day. S3’s going into depth about the Celestial Realm and Michael’s getting way more mentions and they’ve started bringing up Raphael as well and at this point I’m 100% sure they’re gonna actually introduce them as new characters? Maybe by the end of the season? And I’d love this cause I need new dynamics and to learn more about the brothers’ past and the celestial realm but it also sucks cause I have such a clear vision of what they look like and ik solmare’s gonna destroy that. ANYWAY I don’t think they’ll introduce “bad guys” to the story given that this is a dating sim at the end of the day and Michael & Raphael will probably wanna bang MC too but with what they’ve given so far the Celestial Realm and the higher up angels seem very morally dubious? We know that Michael as an angel gave out punishments that were worse than Lucifer as a demon – Mammon saying he still shakes when remembering them thousands of years later. We know they were against mixing with humans and demons – enough that they were willing to kill off an angel for healing a human. We know they supported the war with the demons and were not actively looking for a peaceful end to it unlike Diavolo (to the point that even Lucifer one of the highest angel in ranking was surprised by the notion of peace). We know their rules were much more strict than that of the Devildom and Raphael acted as somewhat of an enforcer and he considered human parties immoral. We know they highly looked down on the demons and considered them pure evil & below them despite not really knowing anything about them. And sure all of these facts are things that happened when the brothers were still in the celestial realm and I bet they’ve changed after thousands of years and are more open minded, but have they changed enough? The way ‘Michael’ spoke to MC when he called the brothers wicked despite not really knowing what they are like as demons, despite the fact that ‘wicked’ doesn’t cover what the brothers are at all and that there are probably humans who are worse people than them, that he thought MC would be wicked too just because the brothers liked them, the fact that Luke still had these beliefs that all demons were evil and terrible despite having never met a demon, which were the same beliefs angel!Lucifer had when he met Diavolo thousands of years later, the fact the angels still have a very strict idea of what exactly an angel should be like and enforced those ideas on the brothers during the angel event to the point that after they were back to normal they all freaked out. All makes the angels seem highly…..um? questionable. Also luke said Michael missed the brother, but does Michael actually miss them or does he miss the perfect angel versions of them? We know in the celestial realm the brothers had to repress a lot of their urges, likes and even small parts of their inherent personalities to be accepted/to not be threatened to be kicked out (ex: Mammon supressing his pranks/more playful/mischievous side in the celestial realm vs being comfortable enough to fully express that side despite Lucifer’s punishments in the devildom) to the point that they had a secret room they’d escape to just so they could skip work/hang out/relax, we know angels still see demons as evil beings and probably don’t still accept them despite the peace, we know that Michael’s view of the brothers as ‘perfect angels’ completely strips them of any identifiable characteristics even if you were to compare them to what they were like when they were really angels. So when luke says Michael misses them I feel like he doesn’t miss them he misses them as these perfect angel versions of themselves that never really existed. If this season is about getting MC’s stars will next season be about getting Michael and Raphael to accept the brothers for how they truly are? More interdimensional therapy sessions? Does this make sense? Talk to me

Solomon says he doesn’t know what happened to the fairies but that they’d have more luck finding them if they went out and looked deep in places free from human influence than looking for info in a human library. Mammon says Solomon should change his name to the “not so wise” & Solomon says it’s not like he came up with his nickname in the first place. Luke has the idea to ask Crowe for help. When Mammon asks Levi about his falling out with Crowe Levi says though they aren’t friends anymore he’s still useful. MC asks crowe where they can find fairies and they find out about rumours near Lake Io Lanthe. Though they can only get there and back within a day with a private jet. Mammon says it’s not like they can use their own wings to fly in the human world either and I’M!!!!!!? would Mammon have had to carry MC? Have they seen the brothers flying in the devildom? Has anyone carried them and flown? In the end they decide on an overnight train ride. Levi says the “kids” should probably first get permission from the “adults.” MC who’s a fully independent grown adult doesn’t need permission.

Simeon happily agrees as long as they can find someone to cover Luke’s shifts in the café. Luke asks MC which of the brothers they should ask, there are 6 options and for each the 3 of them imagine the scenario that would take place. 1.) Levi; Simeon getting steadily more and more irritated while Levi tries to win a game instead of working till black-purple smoke is rising out from Simeon even as he smiles sweetly and calls Levi. 2.) Lucifer; looking deeply disappointed with crossed arms says “So, are you going to tell me your order or not? Hurry up. I don’t have all day. I have (list of café related chores) French chocolate cake with hot cocoa? Are you insane? Who in their right mind would pair chocolate cake with hot chocolate?” why is this so funny!?? 3.) Satan; Fully serious “Simeon, table two wants an earl grey. And a pretty kitty special to go with it.” Simeon, “WTF is a pretty kitty special!?” The pretty kitty special is paw shaped pancakes and Simeon thinks they’re cute. In this universe no customers or Levis are harmed. 4.) Asmo; Asmo starts almost instantly hitting on the customer. “You know I don’t usually do this but how about I sit down with you for tea?” Luke says while bright red, “ABSOLUTELY NOT! He’ll turn the Angel’s Halo into a different sort of place.” And umm Luke buddy what exactly were you thinking of here… 5.) Beel; Simeon: Hey have you seen the BLTs? Beel: *actively munching away* No. Can’t find them? Want me to help? Simeon: …Nevermind 6.) Belphie; Orders food for himself from Simeon during a lull in the customers and takes a nap before Simeon even gives it to him. In the end they decide on Satan.

They find Satan at the pizza place watching his tab with a serious expression, Luke wonders if he’s learning new things about the human world (languages, the economy, etc) Mammon says that’s the face he makes when he watches cat videos. When Mammon tries calling him he pretends he doesn’t know them until Mammon’s yelling his name and he can no longer ignore them (Wonder how humans feel about some buy yelling ‘SATAN’ in the middle of a diner). Satan immediately refuses to work at the café cause he’s busy (watching cat videos) until MC lies through their teeth and says that Simeon wants to turn the café into a cat café. Luke jumps on board instantly and starts supporting MC’s claims further adding that as a cat lover they need Satan’s advice and that working part time at the café will give him a better understanding to how the business is normally run. He then agrees to help. (Luke none of that lying seems really angelic…). At the café Satan immediately goes “okay, so… let’s talk cats”. And Simeon’s like????????

At home Lucifer’s still not back from his date & they tell others about their plans for the trip. Asmo says if he had a choice he’d like to meet Narcissus… Mammon tries to play off the fact that he’s nervous about asking permission from Lucifer and Belphie tells them to watch out for Banshees – a type of fairy - when they get there (I first heard about banshees as a little kid and they freaked the shit outta me, gave me way more anxiety than I already had). Satan says there are lots of types of fairies including those that make you fall in love. Mammon is way more interested in them than in Banshees – Asmo tells him he’s being a pervert. Lucifer arrives after dinner and they follow him to his room. Lucifer says a quiet lake might give Mammon the chance for some self-reflection and personal growth (pretty sure Lucifer needs that too ngl) and it’ll give Lucifer some peace and quiet but also who the fuck’s gonna pay for you huh!? Mammon tries to play the “my favourite older brother” card. Lucifer disagrees and they decide to gamble on it – if Mammon wins he gets to go and if Lucifer wins Mammon gets bathroom cleaning duty for a week. Lucifer says Mammon’ll just cheat so MC volunteers to play and Mammon gets really happy that they’d do that for him, saying he feels like crying. Lucifer agrees except if they lose BOTH of them get bathroom duty. MC has to guess if the card Lucifer draws is odd or even. Even’s correct and they get to go without a fuss. If they pick even they lose.

If they lose the next chapter starts with Mammon crying in MC’s room about MC and Luke being allowed to go and not him and how with MC gone bathroom duty is all his, MC says they’ll do anything to get him to forgive them and he blushes and asks them to stay with him till he allows them to leave and that means they’re gonna be at it all night…. ALL RIGHT ANYWAY Luke then texts them saying he’s impressed that they managed to convince Lucifer to let Mammon go and that Lucifer had actually sent Luke three tickets for “Mammon’s journey of Personal Growth” and Lucifer’s such a good dad sometimes I can’t deal with this BS. Mammon immediately runs off to thank Lucifer and you can then hear lucifer screaming at Mammon to get out and stop hugging him cause he’s in the shower and I love them both so much I NEED them being soft to each other more and the only reason Mammon ended up being the avatar of greed is cause Lucifer probably spoilt him rotten growing up *cough*Lucifer’s B’day Present To Him*cough*. If they win the next chapter starts in Mammon’s room where he’s asking crowe, who’s apparently been borrowed from Levi, how much money he could make selling fairy ring flowers, he then asks MC to ask crowe something too. They can ask crowe about tomorrow’s weather or tease Mammon by either asking crowe how to control Mammon or asking if they’re compatible with Mammon. Mammon blushes but Crowe says they’re fairly compatible and if they can control Mammon’s self-destructive tendencies and how he puts money before everything they may last – mammon says all of that is wrong (I mean we have seen that he actually puts MC before money and material goods quite a few times so yeah…). He says they already know how well they work together better than anyone in all the 3 worlds and they don’t need anyone to tell them that and MC kisses him. Mammon blushes and says “yeah ik Luke’s gonna be with us but let’s try and get our own room to share cause this is the one chance to get time alone away from the others so we can have all kinds of fun. Though we can still have plenty of fun rn” and then he calls them closer and the screen fades to black :) It later opens to screams being heard from inside the house somewhere.

[loudest-subtext-in-tv]

Something I know no one will ever contend with when they just want to write a hit piece about us, but...

When Moffat said on the A Scandal in Belgravia commentary, “If you watch the show carefully, there’s subtext about John’s drinking,” what did he mean? He wasn’t being flippant, he’s said one of his favorite writers is William Goldman and writers should study him because he “knows everything.” Goldman’s Ten Commandments on Writing say to “put a subtext under every text” and not to be too on the nose. 

So what is the “real” subtext to why John drinks, and why does John drink when he’s alone with Sherlock and trying to get him to open up, or otherwise thinking about Sherlock? If the subtext is not about John’s relationship with Sherlock, then like... who else is in the room in those scenes, what’s going on, who is John actually thinking about, and why is it so important to the story that Moffat would include it? What storyline does the subtext of John’s drinking pertain to? It must be pretty big to not have been revealed yet, so it shouldn’t be hard to make a case for.

Similarly: When Moffat and Gatiss say that The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes, a movie noteworthy for depicting Holmes as a homosexual in love with Watson, is the inspiration for their adaptation, what do people imagine they adapted from it? Because it wasn’t the characterization, they don’t much resemble the BBC Sherlock characterizations. Barely any plot points were borrowed, and minor ones at that. Why did they pick the big overtly gay adaptation for the basis of their show from a hundred straight alternatives? Why did Gatiss say the thing he liked about it was that Holmes was in love with Watson?

I mean, I know people who hate us will never actually watch it, but the movie is not subtle. The movie isn’t a bunch of gay gags, the movie makes very clear that Holmes is genuinely homosexual and in love with Watson in a deeply painful way that queer people can recognize and relate to, and the same vibe is heavy in series 3 especially. For example, the endings of TSoT and HLV are not gay gags, they are things that happened in the plot and were not presented as remotely funny.

There are two reasonable perspectives on this:

1) It is not especially weird for people who pay attention to what the writers have said about their stories to think all the gay stuff is intentional, and its not weird to have fun chasing down things the writers have taken care to talk about. That’s what fans do, they try to predict where stories are going. No one made hit pieces ridiculing Jon and Daeneyrs shippers because they recognized what the foreshadowing in Game of Thrones was saying, and they were basing it off almost nothing compared to what the showrunners of Sherlock have said and taken care to include in the plot and subtext. People write hit pieces about us because they deeply believe it’s stupid for queer people to think a gay romance could be depicted, we had the misfortune of having a sense of humor about ourselves (calling it a “conspiracy” and ourselves a “cult”), and were enthusiastic about the show and writers whose fandom we’re a part of.

2) The gay stuff is intentional, but all a big joke despite appearances to the contrary. Most of the antis even argued that the gay stuff was intentional, they just thought it was to fuck with people or be provocative. Some of them were even dreading S4, including while it was airing, because they thought we were going to be proven right and we’d be insufferable. If people who hated us worried we could be right, then how delusional could we be?

I can understand someone thinking it all being a big joke is more likely than a TV show depicting a gay romance, but it does not follow that people deserve to be an object of public ridicule because they recognized a bunch of queer allusions and painful queer life experiences that resonated with them and considered that the writers, one of whom is queer and unabashedly obsessed with the works in question, may have positive motives for including those things. It feels like punishing people for doing their due diligence of actually researching the writers’ feelings about things and their influences, rather than just piling on and calling them homophobes. I’m not trying to invalidate anyone’s opinions if that’s how they feel about Moffat and Gatiss nowadays, I’m just saying it’s not some shameful thing for people to actually investigate these things and conclude differently. It’s okay to think writers are talented and clever, and their fandom should be a place where it’s okay to explore that.

What makes me most sad about this is that there is genuinely no area of life where people can just play around anymore without being hunted down. Like, politics is fucking miserable, the pandemic is miserable, I just had a friend kill himself a few months ago because of how bad life is lately, a close relative who I never thought would have suicidal ideation has it now, I have been fighting wanting to die for years, in the U.S. none of us have any idea if we’re ever getting any sort of pandemic stimulus again -- so many of us are suffering immensely right now, it should be okay to be goofy and creative in a fandom without someone deciding its their prerogative to profit off us because they think we’re weird, or whatever. 

The reason there’s a lot of crazy meta analysis is because this was supposed to be a relatively safe, creative place where people can try their hand at analyzing stories without being graded or made to feel inadequate, so we treat metas a lot like fanfics where it’s not really appropriate to just rip people’s shit apart no matter how illogical it is, and we find things we like about analysis we don’t agree with in that same spirit: it’s a cool idea anyway, it’s artistically inspiring, it got close to a more compelling idea, etc. I have a big packet of fan mails where several people told me they had been scared and self-conscious to share their thoughts on things, and TJLC helped them open up and inspired them to major in literary or film-related majors. People start somewhere and it’s cruel to make fun of them because they weren’t great at something that doesn’t fucking matter. 

FANDOM IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A SUPER SERIOUS SPACE. NO ONE PUTS ON A TUXEDO BEFORE THEY LOG IN TO TUMBLR. NO ONE NEEDS SOME OUTSIDER TAKING THE THINGS THEY OFFERED IN THE SPIRIT OF FUN OUT OF CONTEXT TO PRESENT TO A WIDER AUDIENCE THEY DELIBERATELY AVOID BECAUSE THAT AUDIENCE IS MEAN AND SENDS THEM DEATH THREATS AND HOMOPHOBIC AND MISOGYNISTIC SLURS AND SUICIDE ADVICE. IT IS ACTUALLY NOT AN ENORMOUS CHARACTER FAILING TO SHARE BAD ANALYSES OF A TV SHOW, AND SHOULD NOT BE A MATTER OF NATIONAL INTEREST. 

But places where people can open up and try things out increasingly can’t exist anymore, because even in a low stakes environment like a fandom there are busybody ghouls who want to profit off being condescending about how people spend their leisure time. It doesn’t add anything to the world except their bank accounts.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Fire and Light (ao3) - on tumblr: part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7

- Chapter 8 -

A small group of sects unexpectedly announced that they wanted Wen Ruohan to adjudicate a boundary line dispute – some were affiliated with the Jiang sect, others with the Jin, and they wanted a neutral party. Wen Ruohan was pleased, even smug, that they had chosen him rather than the Lan sect, which with its righteous reputation was more typically called upon to mediate for the other sects.

“Maybe none of them have a good argument,” Nie Huaisang mused. “They’re all awful, and they want someone more self-absorbed than either side to broker something out.”

“Not everyone is awful, Huaisang,” Nie Mingjue said, tucking the blankets around him. “Most people are good. Besides, there are some pretty renowned sects involved, so even if it’s true, you shouldn’t say it.”

Nie Huaisang heaved a sigh. “But da-ge –”

“Time for medicine,” Nie Mingjue said firmly, and lifted the bowl to his lips.

Nie Huaisang had a mild case of food poisoning, causing a stomachache, vomiting and a low-grade fever – Wen Qing had determined that it wasn’t infectious, but also, rather grimly, figured out that the source of the illness was most likely a particular treat that Nie Huaisang had generously shared with both her and Wen Chao, and sure enough they were both bedridden less than a day later. Luckily, Wen Qing had had enough time to boil the base for the medicine they needed, and while he wasn’t at her level, much less the now-absent Wen Ning’s, even Nie Mingjue could follow directions well enough to add the final ingredients right before serving.

(Even Wen Zhuliu, who remained Wen Chao’s bodyguard despite their best efforts, had fallen ill, except his version had been significantly worse – more or less non-stop emissions out both ends, and out of self-preservation Nie Mingjue had insisted that he remain in the servants’ quarters far away from all of them.)

Nie Huaisang finished drinking the medicine, making a face that only went away when Nie Mingjue stuffed something sweet into his mouth to help get rid of the taste. “Will you be all right helping out?”

“Of course I will,” Nie Mingjue said. “I haven’t forgotten how to help host a party.”

“No, I meant…”

Nie Mingjue shrugged. Normally, Wen Ruohan had enough concern for his face to prefer that Nie Mingjue avoid showing his own shortly after he’d been insolent enough to warrant punishment, but due to the food poisoning they were short on young masters to greet all the incoming people – and their guests were too important not to be greeted by someone with status.

“I’ll use some powder, it’ll be fine,” he said. “And anyway, even if someone notices, it’s not like they would be bold enough to comment; they’re here to ask Sect Leader Wen for a favor, after all. Who will even pay attention to me long enough to notice?”

The answer, Nie Mingjue swiftly learned, was Yu Ming, a crotchety old grandmother from Meishan Yu in Sichuan who didn’t like the food (not spicy enough), her chair (the first one was too rickety, the second too soft), her peers (idiots, all of them), her drink (they’d served tea and she wanted wine, and then later on it was the other way around), and, most problematically, was one of the more influential sect leaders on the Jiang sect’s side. Not exactly someone they wanted to offend by providing inferior hospitality.  

Nie Mingjue ended up abandoning his now habitual corner in the back of the room to dash back and forth dancing attendance on her, run ragged and breathless by all of her demands.

It wasn’t exactly a surprise when she approached him in his corner during the banquet’s dessert course, and he straightened up at once, saluting politely. “Sect Leader Yu,” he said, suppressing a desire to moan and maybe beg for mercy; his legs were killing him. How this managed to be worse than serious saber training he had no idea, but it was. “Is the dessert not to your liking? I can get you something cool instead –”

“Sit down, boy,” she growled. “The crystal cakes are fine, and I’m tired of looking up at you. How tall are you? Six chi?”

“…five and a half, maybe five and three-quarters,” he confessed, sitting down obediently. At this point, she could tell him to jump out a window and he probably would – she had a very sharp walking stick and no hesitation about waving everywhere. No sympathy for her miserable victims, either.

“And you’re how old?”

“Seventeen.”

“Slowed down yet?”

“…not yet.”

She huffed. “That’s all we need, another Nie giant. I told your father that he was making a mistake, marrying a woman that needed to duck to get through doors…that how you got that black eye?”

“Huh?” Nie Mingjue said unintelligently, still caught by the mental image – he scarcely remembered his mother, having been very young when she left, but it was nice to think that it wasn’t just the perspective of having been a toddler that had made her appear quite so towering. “Oh, I – uh – training accident.”

Yu Ming squinted at him. “Same training accident that dislocated three of your fingers and a kneecap, did a number on your ribs, and cut your back up so bad that you need bandages and –” She inhaled. “– at least two doses of bai mao gen to replenish the blood lost?”

Nie Mingjue opened and closed his mouth wordlessly. Finally, yielding under her glare, he muttered, “I didn’t dislocate my kneecap.”

He might’ve preferred that, actually. Dislocations could be shoved back into place with relatively little issue; he’d sprained it, instead. A bad fall from when he’d shamefully broken and tried to run from the Fire Palace, futilely seeking safety, a place where he neither had to hurt people nor be hurt himself.

Not that such a place existed in the Nightless City, of course. He’d only been dragged back after, as he ought to have expected, and then things had gotten much worse, but he hadn’t really been thinking his actions through at the time.

“Dislocated, not dislocated, whatever. Has to be something, the way you’re dragging that left leg of yours behind you when you trot,” she said practically. “You’re a rotten liar, did anyone ever tell you that?”

“Many people,” Nie Mingjue said with a sigh. Most of them currently in bed with food poisoning, except for lucky Wen Ning away at the Lotus Pier and miserable Wen Xu now stuck standing by his father’s side, pretending to smile. “Does it matter?”

“Matter? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Other than going and applying more powder, there’s not much I can do about it even if it does offend your sight,” Nie Mingjue pointed out, reasonably enough in his view. “And no matter how many times or ways you ask it, the answer’s still going to be ‘training accident’, whether or not you believe me.”

Yu Ming poked his forehead with her finger, then his cheek. “And this is with powder,” she said, scowling and rubbing the remnants of it between her fingertips as if she hadn’t believed him that it was there until she’d verified it for herself. “If you won’t tell me anything other than ‘training accident’, will you at least tell me what you did to deserve this type of training?”

“I don’t remember,” Nie Mingjue said, and he really didn’t. All the thrashings more or less flowed together pretty well after a while, and in the end it didn’t really matter if he’d intervened on Nie Huaisang’s behalf or Wen Chao’s, whether he’d played whipping boy for Wen Xu or distracted attention away from Wen Qing – they were all close enough to be proper family now. What he did was nothing more than what you ought to do for those you loved, and he’d die before he forgot how to do that.

“Rotten liar,” Yu Ming said, maybe because she could tell he wasn’t lying, and spat on the ground. “It’s a filthy business.”

“I’m hardly going to disagree with you,” he said dryly.

“You might look a little less ragged if you did.”

He shrugged. “They say people can’t change their essential nature.”

“And what’s yours?”

“Blunt to the point of stupidity.”

“Say rather that you cut straight to the point,” she said.

“Well, you know, sabers have one blunt edge, one sharp,” he said, unable to resist a smile even if it pulled at the bruises around his eye. “I can be both.”

She was staring at him.

“…what?”

“You have dimples.”

“I’m…aware?”

He didn’t quite understand the calculating look Yu Ming had in her eyes – or, perhaps better said, he didn’t want to understand that look, and he was willing to put in a great deal of effort behind not understanding it if he had to.

“Do you want another crystal cake?” he asked her abruptly before she could say anything else. When she arched her eyebrows, he elaborated: “Sect Leader Wen will undoubtedly ask me whether I was taking good care of you, being as you are after all one of our honored guests.”

Don’t tell me anything, he meant. Even if you pity me – especially if you pity me. He has ways to make me talk. He likes making me talk.

“…fine, then,” Yu Ming said. “You said something about there being something cool?”

Nie Mingjue suppressed a groan as he dragged himself out of his seat and headed to the kitchen to see if they still had any sorbet left over.

-

“– going to be tricky,” Nie Huaisang was saying to a nodding Wen Xu as Nie Mingjue walked by. “Lanling Jin isn’t fond of making decisions.”

“But they are fond of profit,” Wen Xu pointed out.

“The question will be if there’s a way to strike the right balance without giving too much away –”

Nie Mingjue decided to believe that they were talking about pornography. People said Jin Guangshan was into that sort of thing, didn’t they?

-

Nie Mingjue trained with Baxia at least once every day, and usually more. He found the repetitive actions calming, like an active form of meditation, and he was happy to sink into the mindlessness of physical exertion and forget his worries.

Baxia was warm under his hand, as always – he thought sometimes that she’d never quite adjusted to the warmer temperatures of the Nightless City, preferring as he did the cooler weather of Qinghe.

Perhaps, in time, she would forget it.

Perhaps, in time, so would he.

Forget the cool air filling his lungs, the crisp snap of an autumn day just about to begin; forget the smell of the forests and the feeling of gravel under his shoes. Forget the strain on his muscles from climbing up a steep cliff, the taste of an early snowfall on his tongue – the metallic tang to the water, the lingering smell of smoke in the air even when there wasn’t anyone around for miles.

It felt unforgettable.

But he knew that it wasn’t. In the face of time, all things were ground down into the dust.

He would be eighteen years old this year. Still a little shy of proper adulthood, an unlucky year, if luck had anything to do with his life any longer. He’d been here for four years, just shy of a quarter of all the years he’d ever lived.

Perhaps that was what made him melancholy.

Or perhaps it was only that he had been unable to light incense on the anniversary of his father’s death yet again this year. Wen Ruohan took particular pleasure in ensuring that he couldn’t – he had spent the first year unconscious, the second year immobilized, the third…he tried not to remember.

It didn’t really matter, he supposed, since he’d always agreed in advance that Nie Huaisang would light the incense on behalf of them both, both on the anniversary and on Qingming – they hadn’t ever been given leave to return to Qinghe to sweep their ancestral graves, not once, not even when some of the other sects had complained about the impropriety of it. No one ever paid attention to Nie Huaisang, underestimating how sneaky he could be, and so he’d managed it just fine. Still, the failure to do it himself tugged at Nie Mingjue’s heart, disappointed him in himself - in his failure to be a good son, just as he so often failed to be a good brother.

He sank back into his training by force of willpower.

His cultivation was increasing at an acceptable rate, he thought – shockingly fast by all metrics, but all of his teachers said that his foundations were good, steady as mountains, and his progression through each stage was smooth and unhindered by bottlenecks. The consequences of genius, they said with a shrug.

It was about the only thing that was going in an acceptable manner.

Ma Liyuan had fallen out of favor, as Wen Xu had predicted – she’d failed to remain pregnant despite repeated efforts, and Wen Ruohan took such pleasure in criticizing her for it that Nie Mingjue suspected he’d dosed her tea with contraceptives specifically to set her up for the failure, since he didn’t actually need more sons – but her usefulness remained, so she was married in with all pomp to Wen Chao’s household as a secondary wife.

(She’d been promised the position of first wife, and threw a fit when she realized the change, but Wen Ruohan had reminded her, sneering, that that had been when she’d been a pure and untouched maiden; she really couldn’t expect them to pay such a high price for secondhand goods, now could she?)

Wen Chao obviously had no interest in her at all – she’d tried, once, to make herself up and smile at him and he’d recoiled as if he’d seen a snake, then stared at her and said, “You’re joking, right?” – so she’d taken the next best option and sent her maid to seduce him in her stead.

Wang Lingjiao was pretty enough, with curves enough to make just about any man stare, and pretty cunning to boot. In a different world, a world where Wen Chao had fallen for his father’s nasty little tricks and become a stupid oversexed princeling, a waste of space that would have been incited into fighting against Wen Xu for the sole purpose of being crushed to prove some imagined point of about the necessity of cruelty, she probably would have been able to crawl into his bed and keep her place there without much difficulty.

Wen Chao was a bit of a romantic, after all, no matter how much he tried to deny it.

As it was, when her first few efforts at flirtation failed – or, well, mostly failed, given that Wen Chao held her hands in his own during a garden stroll in the moonlight and told her, with great earnestness, that she was very beautiful and it was such a pity that he wasn’t allowed to think of women romantically until he was fifteen on pain of utmost humiliation and also was she aware of the dangers of venereal disease – Wang Lingjiao pulled back and recalibrated her approach.

This time, she went for Nie Mingjue.

“You’re joking, right?” he asked her.

She arched an eyebrow at him. “Is that a deliberate reference to what Wen Chao said?”

“No, just the same idea. I’m not interested.”

“That much is obvious enough,” she said, tossing her hair. “I want you to tell me what I need to do to get someone to be interested. I don’t want to be a servant any longer.”

Nie Mingjue was at something of a loss for words.

“There must be something I can provide,” Wang Lingjiao demanded. “Some service, some use…I’m a weak cultivator, but that clearly doesn’t bother you lot – your younger brother is weak, too, though I’m still a bit worse. I’m not as dumb as Ma Liyuan; I know there’s more you can sell in life than sex, even if that’s easier. What do you want? What do any of you want?”

Wang Lingjiao was from the Yingchuan Wang cultivation clan, Nie Mingjue abruptly remembered. A smaller sect, with too many children, but a standalone sect nonetheless; their children were born as gentry, not servants. No, they must have sold Wang Lingjiao into servitude, though whether it was to get an in with Qishan Wen or simply to get rid of a budding problem – and extremely beautiful young women with poor cultivation were often a problem, especially when their beauty suggested how their mothers had gotten themselves selected to be wives, or, more likely, concubines – he did not know.

“Do you mix your own makeup?” he asked, and she stared at him. “It’s very well done.”

“…yes,” she said, giving him a strange look. “I do. None that’ll fit you, though.”

He blinked, then laughed. “No, I don’t want any; the only use I have for powder is to cover up bruises when I need to be presentable. I just meant that it seems you have a steady hand at mixing things and judging proportions – A-Qing appreciates those qualities.”

“Wen Qing?” Wang Lingjiao asked, bewildered. “You want to send me to a woman?”

“She’s expressed before that she would like to have more female company,” Nie Mingjue explained, and Wang Lingjiao’s expression only got more fish-like as she gaped at him. “A fair while back, in fairness, but the numbers really are skewed fairly strongly against her. I thought you might get along. Be friends.”

“I’ve never had a female friend in my life,” Wang Lingjiao told him.

“I thought – you’re always chatting with the other serving girls…?”

Wang Lingjiao rolled her eyes as if he were being stupid. He probably was. Forget Qishan ways, the ways of the teenaged girl were utterly beyond his grasp.

“I don’t see what you have to lose by trying,” Nie Mingjue pointed out. “I’m not interested, Xu-ge’s too paranoid to get within touching distance of anyone he thinks has an ulterior motive, A-Chao isn’t allowed to touch women for a few more years –”

“Why is that?”

“He’s gullible, and has both questionable taste and sibling-inflicted trauma relating to brothels,” Nie Mingjue explained, and Wang Lingjiao wrinkled her nose, looking a little amused despite herself. “A-Ning isn’t the type to womanize, and Huaisang is too young. Also a vicious cutthroat when it comes to interpersonal relations, so who even knows what type of person he’d like, if any.”

“I’d noticed that about him.”

“In sum, A-Qing is your best bet,” he concluded. “And all the more so if you approach her in a business-like fashion: make clear to her what benefits you bring and how you’ll compensate for the drawbacks, be practical and reasonable, and you’ll do fine. Do well, and you won’t ever need to fear being sent back to Ma Liyuan – or to Yingchuan.”

Wang Lingjiao stared at him for a moment – she hadn’t expected him to be able to figure that out, he thought, since she was just clever enough to manage to puzzle out that he was the heart and core of their little group but not quite smart enough to realize why – but in the end she seemed to take his advice to heart, nodding and walking away.

He hoped Wen Qing didn’t kill him for sending her a terrible lab assistant.

[loki-darkprince-odinson]

King Loki, I apologize for the rant but I would like some advice.

My father always makes me feel like complete garbage. He is always putting me down, never appreciates me, and makes my depression so much worse. I'm fixing up a house to move in with my friends but I'm still stuck at the house since my parents won't help me get my license or a car, much less a job. I cook, do dishes, take care of the pets, take out the trash, get the mail, do my laundry, wash towels, and help with their laundry. I also take care of my sick mother and while I'm currently on summer break, I'm going to college to become a clinical psychologist. Even then, my father will point out other things that I don't do, and expects me to clean the entire house every day. He always talks about how he needs to do everything around the house yet all he does is sleep, play video games, and watch television. He also says he works hard yet on many occasions he says he sits on his ass all day on his tablet. He also yells so much. I get scared every day when he starts yelling because I worry he may leave us, which he has threatened before, or he may actually hit us. He never has hit either my mother or I yet, and says he never would but he slams and throws things when angry at us so it's his way of showing us how much he wants to hit us, even if he doesn't realize it. However, not only do I have many responsibilities, My depression makes it difficult for me to do much, and he makes it worse. Even when I do try to clean the house he always makes comments such as: "About time." or "How long until it gets cleaned next time?" or "This was half assed, you didn't do it right." I have tried so hard to have a connection with him but I'm so tired of fighting for a relationship that he doesn't care about. I can't address my concerns with him because he will threaten to not take me to college and pay the bills. Do you have any advice to help me deal with my father until I can escape?

Best regards, Catrina.

“Catrina,” Loki drawls, in his smooth resonate voice. “I firstly must commend your good work. For caring for your ill mother, minding the household needs, and that you get up in the morning even if your soul is weary and your bones ache for a rest; that you keep on living even if you do not know how to anymore. Secondly, you have my deepest sympathies for your grievances. I am all too familiar with what it is like to seek the approval of a parent; only for there to be none in return.” His eyes were completely unfocused, yet his pallid features bore the most intense concentration as memories flowed unbidden.

He says nothing for a moment. Then, something in the edge of his mouth—and the corner of his eyes—resembled the ghost of a sad smile.

“Those whom I knew and called my mother and father are dead. That much is beyond dispute. They were not my real parents, but they raised me as their own. I daresay they loved me. That had been in dispute, at least in my own mind for awhile. I found out very late that my identity was a lie. Not Asgardian, not a son of Odin, I was completely unmade. That was how I felt when I learned of my true parentage. I was a fraud, a monster; it explained so much. It explained why I never felt like I fit in, why I would never be my brother's equal, why I would never get what I'd been promised my whole life.” His voice was soft, hoarse. Intent.

Loki raises his left hand and rests his forefinger against his lips as a line forms between his own eyebrows in thought.

“I have lingered around Midgard long enough to come to an understanding of how your minds tick. I shall do my best to give advice where I can.

Try, if you will, to put things into perspective. The most loving parents commit murder with smiles on their faces. They force one to destroy the person they really are: a subtle kind of murder. Even the most loving parents damage their children with the best intentions—to protect them, to guide them, to better them. In most cases, it would appear they do it by imprinting their own fears and prejudices on them.

The point is, parents are mere, imperfect people.

They have flaws, struggles and impaired judgement. They have both emotional and intellectual handicaps. Regardless of their parental role, they are afflicted by personal blockages and limitations.

But most of all, they are people who make mistakes, and who are terrified of being judged by their children.

Learn to see your difficult parent as just that; human. Learn to see their emotional immaturity as a type of disability.

With that in mind, you would do well to keep your expectations of them low.

In many ways the effect a difficult parent has on ones self is fueled by their feelings of injustice and the belief that things could be different, or ought to be different.

In other words, your expectations dictate how you feel.

You need to let go of your expectations and accept your parent for who they are.

You cannot expect someone with, say, a narcissistic personality, to act with empathy and kindness. No more than you can expect a scorpion not to sting.

Difficult parents are much easier to deal with when you accept that they will not change. So do not expect of them more than they are capable of, and you will not be disappointed or hurt.

Do not fall into the illusion of guilt, Catrina.” He warns. “A difficult parent loves nothing more than to make you feel like you’ve hurt them. Or, in a different scenario, like you’re a bad person if you do not do something they ask.

Do not fall for it. If they’re setting a guilt trap, calmly tell them that you do not appreciate being emotionally manipulated, and you will not tolerate it anymore.

Manipulators, and I should know, detest being called out on their dirty tricks.

If they continue to harass you, reiterate that you cannot do what they’re asking you to do this time, and you need them to respect that.

The trick is agreeing with everything they’re saying (how can they argue when you agree with them?) and re-stating your decision over and over again.

Now this part I find to be… far more easier said than done. You must let go of the need for your father's approval, Catrina. It goes without saying that every child needs and wants their parents’ approval. It is normal to want it, and it is normal to receive it.

Yet so many have to accept the fact that this is not going to happen. For whatever reason, their parent has chosen to withhold their approval. Some difficult parents do it as a form of punishment. While others hope to influence their child in the “right” direction.

Most likely, your father loves you, but they have a very warped idea of what parental love is.

In their misguided quest to make you into a version of themselves, they missed the chance to get to know you. And so they cannot appreciate you for the wonderful being that you are.”

He shrugs elegantly. “It is their loss. When you realize this and let go of the need for their approval, you will be able to start living your life in a whole new way.

When confronting your father, be direct and calm without expecting a specific response. That is the part you cannot control. The part that is within your control is letting your thoughts and feelings known, which is empowering.

Stick to the facts and use “I” statements such as, “I feel like my words do not matter to you when you constantly interrupt me” or “I feel scared and misunderstood when you yell at me”

Remember that manipulative parents are not known for their empathy. They will try to confuse you, go on the offensive, or assume the role of a victim.

Do not allow them to bully you into submission by invoking guilt or pity. State your case in a calm and polite manner, and stay cool regardless of their response.

Your goal is to be honest about your feelings, and to make it clear that you will not tolerate certain behaviors.” He softly clears his throat.

“Last but not least, an unhappy alternative is forgoing the relationship that is too harmful. I know, a parent is not someone you can so easily cut out of your life. But if all else fails and your father continues to cause you psychological harm, then this may very well need to be taken into considerable consideration; at least for the foreseeable future. Sometimes it is the only logical recourse.

A parent that is fundamentally incapable of showing love and support, unable to see the error of their ways after numerous attempts to communicate how their behavior or words affect you, consistently dismissive, demeaning or critical, manipulative in a habitual manner, punishing and cruel whenever you disobey, are disrespectful of your boundaries and using threats and intimidation to get what they want is a destructive force that will continue to tear you down until you put a stop to it.

It is not an easy feat, my dear. The parent-child bond is hardwired into the brain, which means children get attached to even the most awful of parents.

But consider the cost of having that toxic relationship in your life—stress breeds anxiety, depression, internalized feelings of inadequacy, and failed personal relationships.

I wish you all the best, Catrina. I truly do.”

[reidology]

let's break down Just One Yesterday by Fall Out boy from a Hotchreid perspective!

say it with me: mean hotch! mean hotch! mean hotch!

(mean hotch kinda turned into straight-up abusive hotch so I'm gonna put some trigger warnings)

tw: physical/emotional abuse tw: manipulation also nsfw 18+

"I thought of angels choking on their halos Get them drunk on rose water"

Hotch gets Spencer drunk after a hard case. Under the pretense that they're just going to wind-down and have a nice dinner at his place. He has Spencer let his guard down, and Spencer is so pure, sweet, delicate, Hotch is obsessed.

Hotch sees Spencer as an innocent angel that he wants to corrupt. Wants to hurt him and see how easily he can get bruise. How easy is he to unravel? He wants to take him apart piece by piece.

He takes Spencer to bed, the angel comes willingly. "See how dirty I can get them pulling out their fragile teeth And clip their tiny wings."

Theres a bit of an obsession with innocence, and 'fragile teeth/tiny wings' suggests that Spencer's innocence is surface-level. A desperate facade to keep the ugly scary trauma away.

Hotch knows there's something dar underneath the surface and he's insatiable.

Hotch slowly strips Spencer of his clothes, tests the waters to see how well Spencer will listen and take orders. He's perfectly malleable. "Anything you say can and will be held against youSo only say my name, it will be held against you"

Hotch wants Spencer to be irrevocably his. This is power, possession, ownership. Spencer can't have and doesn't WANT anyone else in his life, Hotch is the only one who can make him feel good.

'it will be held against you' If Spencer disobeys there will be consequences. Spencer doesn't understand how much Hotch does for him every day. He needs Hotch. He belongs to Hotch.

It's fitting for two FBI agents. They always have cuffs on hand. Spencer is handcuffed and taken apart until the only thing he can think of is Hotch Hotch Hotch.

Hotch growls these lines in Spencer's ear. No other thoughts are allowed, Hotch. It's possessive bliss. "If heaven’s grief brings hell’s rain Then I’d trade all them tomorrows for just one yesterday"

Hurting Spencer is what gives Hotch any sense of peace. Inflicting pain on Spencer is what cools down Hotch's fiery rage. Hotch's little angel, corrupted, crying, beaten, his.

The routine of hurting Spencer and knowing he won't get any resistance is thrilling. But...

Hotch knows what he's doing. He knows this thing with Spencer won't end well. Spencer will realize sooner or later that Hotch is sick, that what they're doing isn't normal.

So if he could go back to before all of this fucked up manipulation started... to before Haley and Foyet, before Hankel and Maeve... when Spencer was happy, when what he felt was just a crush, when he would daydream about taking Spencer on dinner dates and showering him with little gestures...

He would. He would take that over watching this relationship's downfall. Spencer's downfall. Because he knows he won't stop until he breaks this kid into dusty fragments of a person. "I know I'm bad news, I saved it all for you"

In the song, this is from the other person in the relationship's perspective, but I see it as both Hotch and Spencer.

Spencer's never felt like an angel. Despite all the times Hotch has called him his 'perfect angel'.

Spencer sees himself the way Hotch sees himself, at least at the beginning. He's no good, tainted, fucked up. He enters this relationship ready to unleash all his destruction on Hotch, ready for Hotch to see how broken he already is.

For Hotch, Spencer is the only one for him. In that sense they are compatible, they both want the worst from each other. "I want to teach you a lesson in the worst kind of way Still I’d trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday"

When Spencer takes his vest off, disobeys direct orders, puts himself in danger, Hotch loses it. What the hell would Hotch do if Spencer died? He would fall apart. Spencer needs to be put in his place, needs to be punished. Spanked, used, denied.

Hotch breaks Spencer is the best ways. 'You belong to me' repeated like a mantra. 'You answer to me' 'You only have me'.

He makes Spencer repeat these back to him. Any sentence that doesn't end in 'Sir' earns him a slap to the face. It's thrilling.

Spencer eats, sleeps, works, on Hotch's time. What Hotch says goes. There's no room for a single independent thought. That genius brain of his is good for two things, solving cases and thinking about Hotch. And Spencer thrives on it. "Letting people down is my thing, baby, find yourself a new gig This town ain’t big enough for two of us. I don’t have the right name or the right looks But I have twice the heart"

Hotch knows he's not good enough for Spencer. He's too old, he's his boss, it's not right. He wants Spencer to run away, but would never let him go. but He knows he's beyond fixing, he's accepted that he's a horrible person. He goes with it.

Hotch has... a heart. In tender kisses after a rough fuck, a proud smile when Spencer does something right, the quiet ‘I love you’ after a nightmare, he wants to give love.

But he can't give love the way he knows he needs to. He's just as lost as Spencer. In a way they’re both in the same boat. They clash in just the right ways to keep them needing each other. "If I spilled my guts The world would never look at you the same way And now I’m here to give you all of my love So I can watch your face as I take it all away"

This is from Spencer's perspective. Spencer is a genius for Christ's sake, he knows what he's gotten himself into. If the truth about their relationship came out, it would ruin the both of them.

Spencer does love Hotch. Always has, that's why it was so easy to submit, to let himself be taken by the older man. But he knows he still has one string he can pull to unravel the older man completely, and that's guilt.

He could give Hotch everything, and take it away in a second by making him feel guilty. But Spencer doesn't want to. He's at home here, under Hotch's constant gaze.

so our boys are a bit cuckoo huh? if you know me you know I love a broken Spencer, but in this case he’s broken by choice and I love that even more.

let me know your thoughts and how you’d interpret the song I’d love to hear about it 😇 (also I’m too tired to proofread so deal with my mistakes)

[lifeistooshorttowasteyourtime]

Different worlds, same heart - Chapter 2

Chapter summary:  An unexpected event puts Theseus in check, who must find the balance between his role as the leader of the Aurors and his relationship with (Y/N), who is immersed in a battle that she is not yet ready to fight.

PART 1

***

“That’s right! Very good Peters!” (Y/N) cheered at one of the Aurors after doing the spell perfectly.

The teacher had been five days with the unit every day, practising the new enchantments. Her enthusiasm seemed to be contagious because, even though it was a serious matter, all the unit couldn’t help but smile.

“Let’s practise the second one, okay? Please, in pairs!” she asked with a cheerful smile.

Suddenly the door was wide opened and the minister ran to the centre of the room panting “Brown and her family were attacked this morning, they are in San Mungo sedated but the doctors could take their memories for us to find who their attackers were”.

The minister looked at (Y/N) “Miss (Y/S), I’m afraid your class has finished, you may go home”.

But the woman frowned, she felt something in his tone that made her shake her head. The minister whispered ‘please’ which made her point her wand at the little bottles where the minister kept the memories of the Brown family and dropped them on a pensive that was at the side of the room. Once they were inside, she made the image rise above the pensive for all to see.

(Y/N) soon understood why the minister wanted her to leave the room. They all could see in first person how a couple of a man and a woman attacked the family viscerally. She swallowed but didn’t blink, she didn’t want the tears that appeared to fall. Theseus sighed and Newt and Tina looked at him.

“They are her parents” the Auror whispered before looking at them concerned “they are very conservative; they support the cause of the pure bloods and Mr. Browns is a muggle so their children are half-blood”.

“Oh my…” mumbled Tina looking at the tensed figured of (Y/N) while Newt sighed.

Theseus walked through the room and stood by (Y/N)’s side. She didn’t move, she couldn’t stop watching her parents attacking innocent people. When the memory ended, the minister turned to her. (Y/N) looked down pressing her lips into a thin line and took a deep breath before looking up with determination.

“Do we know where they are?” Peters asked.

“We… W-we have a trail” the minister looked at the woman.

“Then we must go after them” another Auror said.

Theseus put his hand over (Y/N)’s shoulder, squeezing a bit to try and comfort her.

“I agree” she said with the most serious face that anyone of there had seen until that moment “anyone who attack innocent people must be punished”.

“(Y/N)…” Theseus started to talk but she interrupted him.

“I request to join the group in charge of persecuting and arresting the (Y/S)’s”.

“Miss (Y/S), you are not an Auror, you can’t be part of the unit”.

“With all respect, minister, I’m qualified to battle and I know how they think, I can aid in the battlefield better than anyone. Besides, I’m already part of the unit”.

Some Aurors clapped but they stopped as soon as Theseus fixed them with his gaze before taking her shoulder softly to turn her to be face to face.

“As a head Auror of this unit I must decline your petition, I can’t let you be in that position”.

(Y/N) sighed and titled her head looking right at his eyes “you know I decided to take this step, leave Hogwarts, to stop them. Please, let me help”.

Theseus sighed and looked around at the rest of Aurors that seemed quite pleased with the perspective of having her help. He looked at his brother and Tina, who looked at him with sympathy, and took off his hand from her shoulder to pinch the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes for a moment. When he looked at (Y/N) again and he nodded with resignation that was answered by a small smile from her.

The minister conceded permission to (Y/N) and just a few of the unit reunited to make a plan to catch the married couple.

The group was formed by Theseus, Tina, (Y/N) and three more Aurors. Tina had offered herself to be a support for the other woman who she appreciated greatly. And, in a sense, she could understand what implied to face someone you love since she was terrified of facing (and maybe fighting) Queenie.

Before they got ready to go, Theseus pushed (Y/N) aside softly. She didn’t refuse, she imagined what he wanted to tell her and she confirmed it when they looked at each other.

“I’ll be fine” she smiled reassuring him.

“I can’t help but worry about what is going to happen if we indeed face him. I ’m not questioning your talent, I know perfectly you can battle, but you don’t know how you will react”.

(Y/N) licked her lips nodding but smiled slightly “but I have you by my side, don’t I? If I freeze, which I promise I won’t, I know I can count on you”.

Theseus shook his head rolling his eyes, still not totally convinced with the plan. The woman chuckled and put her hand over his arm “I’m sorry to put you through this”.

“You’ll have to do everything I tell you, okay? There I won’t be your…” he didn’t know if they were friends even though they felt comfortable around each other. But she didn’t let him finish “I understand, I will follow your orders”.

He sighed and put his hand softly on her back to lead her back to the group. Tina looked at them and smiled when (Y/N) nodded at her.

The trail took them to a house outside of London in a road near a small river, far enough from any cottage. It was getting dark, so they used it to their advantage. From outside, they could find out there were four persons inside the cabin. With the surprise element, the five of them burst into the cabin, spells yelled out to catch them, they wanted to took them alive. (Y/N) gasped letting her nerves out because her parent’s weren’t there. Theseus looked at her for a moment, relieved that she didn’t have to face them, not yet.

They had two down when, suddenly, they were knocked by an explosion through one of the windows. They didn’t count on the arriving from someone more who caught the Aurors by surprise, giving the chance to the others to attack back. (Y/N) and other of the Aurors were on the floor, their ears ringing loudly while they felt the heat of the spells being cast over them. (Y/N) saw a burst of green light and her heart stopped for a moment, she looked up to see if that spell had reached anyone. Tina was quick and deflected it while jumping aside. She tried to got up, but her arms trembled under her, making it harder.

“Take him!!”.

(Y/N) took a deep breath and stood up, yelling defensive spells when she saw two men taking Theseus down. The Auror’s face showed his pain, his strength faltered and the men took their chance to took him. One of them raised his wand, ready to made them disappear. Theseus looked up gasping hard, his eyes finding (Y/N)’s.

“Reverso!!”.

Theseus felt a pull and then he felt hard on the floor, but he could look up to see (Y/N) in his position. Captured by those men. His heart raised to his throat, but she smiled. A ‘sorry’ smile while her eyes watered, she knew that her possibilities to survive were very few.

“(Y/N), no!”.

And then she disappeared. It had happened in just a couple of seconds. Theseus got up in rage and started shooting spell after spell against the ones that were still on the cabin. It didn’t take them long to arrest them after Theseus outburst and the recuperation of the rest of the team.

The team took the men to the Ministry where the minister and some Aurors were waiting. Newt was there too and he breathed relief when he saw Tina and his brother safe and sound, but soon frowned when he saw Theseus really agitated.

“They had (Y/N), we have to go to get her” he said to the minister.

“W-what? How they got her?”.

“It doesn’t matter, we have to go now!”.

“We don’t know where she is” intervened Tina “we don’t have a plan and you are injured”.

“We had a plan for this one and looked how it ended up” he spat to no one in particular, frustrated.

Newt gulped and approached his brother, putting his hand on his shoulder.

“Theseus, you know if you go in this state, everything will go wrong” the older pressed his lips into a thin line and Newt tried to comfort him with his soft voice “she’s very smart, she can resist until we go for her. You need to calm down and make a good plan. You know her, you can take her back but you need to have a cool head”.

Theseus closed his eyes with a sigh.

“Let me take care of that wound” Tina said softly.

The Auror let her mend her wound while the minister talked with the other two Aurors that had gone with them. Tina and Newt looked at each other, worried about Theseus but especially worried about (Y/N). Even though they both agreed about her being smart enough to survive, but it didn’t take away the fact that she could be seriously injured.

“She exchanged with me” Tina stopped her spell and looked at him with sadness while Newt blinked a few times processing his brother words “they had taken me and she did a spell to change our places… She shouldn’t have”.

Tina and Newt didn’t know what to say, they couldn’t say anything to make him feel less guilty about it. Theseus closed his eyes and wished he had a time-turner to stop her, to keep her safe because he couldn’t let himself think what she could suffer in the hands of those men.