#he started the trolling thing when he saw the Bernstien/Bearnstien bears post

[infinitethree]

Can I request a wide variety of images of sand popping up around Day as if they were pop up ads on a website until he’s just surrounded by a wall of sand images?

It had been such a lovely morning, too.

The weather was clear, breakfast hadn’t resulted in attempted fratricide (though that is usually more likely to happen at dinner), he had gotten a good night’s rest, Patches was dozing adorably, and Day had decided this meant it was a good time to work on knitting.

His current project is to improve (that word being used extremely liberally) upon the gift he’d given Lucid two years previously; an absolutely eye-searingly hideous, though comfortable and warm, sweater.

From what he’s heard, the admin takes a certain spiteful joy in inflicting its awful presence on others. Aver had seen it, immediately realized who had given it to him, and proceeded to call Day and tell him both he and Lucid were blights upon the earth and, frankly, the world deserves better.

…It may have been the wrong move to immediately agree and say that San deserves someone competent and capable, not whatever you wanted to call what Lucid is.

Anyway.

Day is interrupted from the music on his com and the steady, rhythmic progress of his new worst creation by an image popping up between his face and the garish monstrosity.

It takes him only a few moments to realize what he’s seeing. He narrows his eyes, pauses his music, and says flatly, “That’s not funny.”

This statement causes a half dozen more images of sand to pop up.

The substance is up there with some of the literal worst ones he knows of. Lava? Hazardous, occasionally triggers violent flashbacks, but largely acceptable. Obsidian? Sometimes will catapult him into a catatonic state, but useful. Raw potatoes? Will make him scrub his hands until they bleed, which does the opposite of help his mental state. Eldritch goop? Treated with extreme caution because it made Theo’s eyes turn solid black for a good ten minutes when he curiously poked at it.

But sand?

Sand is the bane of his existence. Any kind feelings he had towards sand died first in the prison, then a second time when he realized he has the memories of Philza fucking Minecraft (the most boring man alive) slowly and laboriously draining not just fourteen ocean monuments, but a dozen chunks’ worth of nearly all the lava in the Prime-damned nether with sand.

And then, finally, fatally, a third time when he had to stop Orph from trying to eat sand in their first home. And then Dee kept encouraging it, largely by distracting Day via trying to do it too.

He still doesn’t know if they both just decided that this, THIS was the ideal way to test his patience, or if they genuinely enjoyed it. The memory of Orph’s long, melodramatic rants on the subject still make him shudder hard enough that his wings will poof up. And then, of course, Dee would join in, and egg him on.

It’s coarse, it’s an irritant, it gets everywhere, it’s heavily tied to some of the worst parts of his life. He has made it a point to make one of his kids deal with smelting the stuff for glass for over a decade, and pointedly rejected the idea of having glass in most of the ‘windows’ of his own home.

Sure, part of that was so he and his kids could more easily enter and exit in an emergency…but it was also partly to do with not wanting to deal with the amount of sand it would take to fill those openings.

“I will find you and break every single one of your bones, in alphabetical order,” Day hisses, feathers fluffing up with anger.

Another dozen popups appear, and he gets to his feet, throwing his project on the ground in frustration. “Why?! What brought this on?! Are you sadistic assholes just enjoying my suffering?! Is this funny to you?!”

He’s interrupted from screaming at the ceiling by a wary, “...Uh? You okay, there?”

He snaps his head towards the sound of the voice, and sees the rather confused-looking Aleph and Khons staring at him.

They both seem worried, too, which Day would be more concerned about if he wasn’t dealing with otherworldly entities needling him for apparent funsies.

“Question askers are being assholes,” he says, making a noise of frustration as more popups appear. “If you’re looking for Theo, he should be out in his studio with–” He cuts himself off, slamming his eyes shut and taking a long, pointed inhale.

He is calm. He is very, very calm, and not about to start figuring out which god he can drag down from the sky and slaughter like the worthless dog they are for this active transgression against his patience, sanity, and most importantly, peace.

Through gritted teeth, he tells them, “With Perce. They’re working on something. If they’re not there, check Dee’s workshop.” His second eldest–actually, all of his kids–have various ways of using the multiple versions of the internet they can access to their fullest extent.

That is to say, they troll people with them.

Each of them has a unique niche of chaos they inflict on unsuspecting people. Perce will edit together well over a dozen versions of a movie or show, use memes that don’t exist and don’t make sense, and otherwise use and abuse his nerdery to make people absolutely furious.

Theo argues with people about folklore, myths, and legends, often cited and sourced with information from other worlds. He can and will post full essays about historical context for a myth that doesn’t exist using sources that are from a dozen other realities.

Orph will release songs or versions of songs specifically to piss off a world’s version of Wilbur, if he’s a musician. There have been multiple occasions where he’s tricked other realities into believing that there’s a new album or single coming out.

Atlas is, somewhat hilariously, the most low-key troll. His post histories in rock, mineral, gem, and bead groups are storied and often entirely genuine…and then he’ll pull some absolute nonsense out of left field. His favorite is arguing with Theo about carved versions of various myths, often poking holes into his points…by using data and a different version of the myth.

Lee, bless his tiny, golden heart, likes to give other realities media they wouldn’t otherwise get. Games that were canceled, movies shut down, projects that otherwise failed to see the light of day; any and all of them are liable to be offered up to others. He does, however, refuse to explain where or who he gets it from. His favorite phrase is ‘I’ve been advised not to disclose that, for the safety of others.’

And then there’s Dee. Easily the most chaotic of them, his method is to do livestreams. Has amassed a following on well over a dozen worlds’ internet, always showcasing some sort of impossible, improbable thing that can’t possibly exist in those worlds. And yet, he makes a point to react to the chat, donations, and other ways that make it clear it’s not prerecorded footage.

He can, has, and will, talk at length about redstone, and the second someone asks about redstone, he gives an entirely too-sincere confused look. “...Redstone? That sounds like a band. Oh, wait, do you mean my wall? Yeah, that’s red sandstone, good eye!”

Questions about Minecraft are met with similar confusion, though more pronounced. “I don’t actually know what you’re talking about. Is that a new show? Is it any good?” And then he’ll put a shulker down sideways on a wall, open it, dig something out, and set it down.

It’s gotten to the point where if his brothers know he’s streaming, they’ll go in and bug him. Sometimes it’s Orph, there to deliver a melodramatic rant. Sometimes it’s Lee, sitting with him and trying to follow his ramblings to glean insight into the mystery that is technology or just be an extra pair of hands.

And, sometimes, it’s Day himself.

Is it maybe a little mean-spirited that he thinks it’s funny? Yeah, probably. But considering he had to deal with some sort of issue in that world for it to be connected to Sanctuary…he thinks he can be forgiven for thinking it’s hilarious when nobody can tell if he and Perce are the same person. There have only been a handful of times anyone guessed–usually very sarcastically–that he’s the dad.

Day answers them the same way; a direct message that says ‘you were right.’ And as soon as they replied, he’d tell them, ‘I’m the dad on Dee’s streams. And nobody will believe you.’ And then he blocked them.

No further attempts to contact him are answered from that world. In fact, half the time he isn’t even so much as a regular in Dee’s chats.

But right now, Dee’s chaos–and Day’s habit of making it even more chaotic–aren’t the focus. Day is too busy trying to deal with the wall of floating images of sand literally encircling him. Moving doesn’t help, because they follow. Turning his head doesn’t help, because they’re forming a half-transparent wall around him. Cursing the gods isn’t helping, because they seem to be actively enjoying his misery.

“...Did they ask something rude, or…” Khons’ wary question is answered by Day telling the literally golden-wooled sheep hybrid, “They’re showing me sand.” He can feel the further confusion that causes, so he adds, “I hate sand. Sand is a fucking awful substance. I feel to sand as Vio does to snow. That being that it should stop existing.”

He’s sure he sounds absolutely insane, but frankly, until someone has well over a literal week’s worth of memories just of tedious, mind-numbing sand placement, then they don’t get to judge him.

“...Do you want us to get someone? Maybe call Vio, so you can commiserate about how much you hate a part of nature? And possibly work out some aggression?” Aleph’s offer makes Day’s eyes narrow slightly in thought. But, in the end, it’s not a terrible idea.

“I’ll call him. Thank you, though. Is there something else I can help–mother FUCKER that’s just a dick move, it’s not my fault someone gave a fictional character the same issues as me, but it’s NOT the same and it’s NOT fictional–” What starts as an attempt to get his anger control abruptly goes sideways as a clip of the infamous Sand Rant starts playing.

He tries to strangle his frustration, mostly so he doesn’t just open his mouth and start wordlessly screaming.