#he saves people and he’s a protector but he also sucks sometimes bc hes a person and i like that abt him

[ruhrohherewego]

i think people try REALLY hard to justify jason’s actions and views regarding bruce’s refusal to kill joker, but i think in turn that waters down jason’s character a little.

bc like, expecting someone to kill the person who killed you would be considered excessive by most standards, even if that person is perfectly capable of doing it. and with bruce—who’s trauma is informed by the act of murder—is not going to look at the context of ANY type of murder and think it’s okay. his morals in that regard are black and white.

jason is of course entitled to his anger towards bruce and his trauma. and THATS THE THING!!! trauma twisted jason’s worldview. it twisted how he viewed what happened to him. he is right for wanting the joker dead, but he’s not right for expecting bruce, who’s also traumatized by what happened, to be the one to kill joker. and that makes him interesting. that gives jason depth—because no character should always be 100% right in their convictions ALL the time.

[vigilskeep]

sometimes i get sucked into dragon age reddit and it's so scary over there.. anyway i saw a question on /dragonage which was like what are some choices your characters made for selfish reasons so now im curious on what ur ocs did selfishly

OUGH thats a fun question...

i would say minerva makes several selfish decisions. not betraying jowan during the origin quest is selfish in its way; at this point she’s settled in the idea that there are some acceptable losses to be made for the circle to thrive, but she reacts when her friend is threatened. as for her quest decisions hmm... siding with caridin over branka is a little selfish in an odd way even though it’s the “good” choice. she’s only just really gotten into blood magic and she’s terrified of the comparison between herself and branka prioritising ends over means, so she does it more to assuage her own self-doubt than out of any real morality. that’s why it’s actually the only decision in the game where she refuses to play the diplomat and persuade her companions who question her, and she snaps at them instead

sparing loghain is somewhat selfish. she does it because she’s desperately fearful of what her own reputation will be one day if she becomes the elven blood mage who killed the hero of river dane. that’s only partly for herself though... it’s also for the sake of people like her, the hope that if she’s remembered well she might save others from the judgement that’s always loomed over her. asking loghain to do the dark ritual was almost entirely selfish though. she knew he would have died to slay the archdemon without question, knew it would be a justified end for him, a tying up of loose ends... but she couldn’t let him sacrifice himself and steal the saviour’s title she’d fought so hard for. and she didn’t want to die either! so she chose to convince him to do the ritual, which is quite something to frankly manipulate a man (who she had never forgiven for his actions but who she also did honestly consider a friend, as she only realised as she was persuading him) into doing, without ever revealing her true reasons to him. not to mention releasing an unknown magic into the world despite all her circle training and maleficar’s guilt

keir is less obviously selfish because he’s the shield, the protector, fundamentally defined by what he can do for others. but leaving bethany behind for the deep roads expedition, not because she couldn’t handle it but because he couldn’t risk losing another sibling to the darkspawn, was selfish. or he thinks so afterwards, anyway. it’s hard to say in the end whether he did things to protect people or because he was afraid. as a rule there’s a fundamental selfishness to the way he is with his own people; anyone else’s loss is justifiable for them. he and anders sometimes fight bc ultimately keir can’t match justice’s absolute dedication, he would sacrifice the cause of mages to see his and only his people safe, he’s only a man and that’s who he is. it’s kind of a moot point bc half his loved ones are mages who will never be safe until they’re free, but it is also arguably what he’s doing in the act 2-3 break and the act 3 on the loose quest when he’s effectively shackled by meredith and hunting blood mages for her, bc she has bethany, and bc she can’t not know abt anders and merrill

i’ve always been charmed by da2’s description of reaver mechanics as “selfish sacrifice”, so that’s another one for keir, too

siding with the templars was a little selfish for helena. she did go to redcliffe at fiona’s invitation—she made that much effort, to placate her brother’s ghost—but ultimately it went too far for her pride to save those who had sold themselves to magisters, when the templars were also at hand. and she wanted so badly to believe for her own sake that there was something salvageable in the order. so she went to therinfal redoubt and told herself they would see what could be done for the mages once the breach was sealed

[cadykeus-clay]

Would you mind sharing your thoughts about vex and Beau being cross campaign foils?

so!!!! first things first: apologies for taking weeks to answer this, finals + having adhd sometimes makes my brain turn to mush and forget every ask ive ever recieved. second of all, i’m assuming you sent me this bc of what i said in my vm vs. m9 how they view the world meta. and i’ll be real with you. i have exactly 0 memory of what was going through my head when i wrote that line, so i am simply going to type out a bunch of thoughts that i have on the similarities and differences between beau and vex and i hope that lives up to what you were expecting jsdflksjdksld

I'll detail some specifics in a moment, but overall, I think beau and vex share a very similar kind of trauma of exclusion in their formative years, that's caused them to have a lot of similar traits that manifest in different ways - for vex, she maintains control through her material posessions and beau finds an emotional control in her asshole-ness. I've broken this down into 5 points on which I think comparing the two really emphasizes that claim:

1. daddy issues: both beau and vex have awful no good terrible very bad dads. both syldor and thoreau can suck my ass. they both raised their kids with little love and impossible-to-meet expectations, alientating them and leaving them with lifelong feelings of inferiority and unbelonging. If beau and vex were to meet, i think they would have a very friendly toast to shitty dads, and then have a good drunk vent about it an hour later.

but, at the same time, the actual minutae of their trauma and the ways it manifests are nearly polar opposites. syldor wanted nothing to do with vex, or else wanted her to somehow become a full elf. her issue was that she would never be able to belong, despite her desire to, and as she grew up it lead to her being overly protective and even possessive of the people she found who DID accept her as she was. 

With beau, rather than exclusion, her father created an environment of toxic inclusion. He created a role for beau to belong in, disregarding her distate for actually fulfilling it. And, as such, she ended up making herself into someone who could have no expectations and pushed away anyone who tried to set them up for her. In the end, they both came to love themselves by abandoning the woman their father wanted them to be but for vex it was the laying down of an impossible dream and for beau it was the picking up of a mantle she had feared to wear.

2. brothers: now, on the topic of family, I also think its really interesting how their interactions with their brothers play out. We've got vex and vax, tied at the hip til the very end and then some; and then we've got beau and TJ - decades apart and with beau barely acknolwedging TJ's existence. But, even that distance between beau and TJ didn't stop her caring for him when they actually met. She gave him lucky Jade, and she entertained the idea of kidnapping him to get him away from her stinko dad. 

And I'd espeically like to talk about what she said outside the hag's hut - "I think Luc and TJ could be best friends", in comparison to the way Vex reacted when Vax told her was going to Zephrah with Keyleth for the year break. There's an aspect to the way they interact with their brothers that lets them slip back into those bad habits they formed growing up (NOT that i'm claiming vex and vax were like toxic for each other. but even good relationships can have unhealthy moments). 

With Beau, when she offers to give her happiness so TJ can grow up safe, she's trying to take on the role she's ""supposed"" to fill - the big sister, the protector - because she failed to fill the one her father set out. And with Vex, when she grows jealous of Vax, it's because she's afraid that his leaving with keyleth is a sign that she no longer belongs in his inner circle, and she falls back on that childish, desperate desire to do anything to be accepted unconditionally. 

3. romance: spoilers for 5 or so most recent m9 eps (115-120)  if you haven't watched them ahead!!!! at this point, both vex and beau have an endgame romance - percy and yasha respectively. Obviously as the m9's campaign is still playing out, that could change, but like. yasha wrote her a love letter and they're officially going on a date so i'm counting that as at least endgame-track rather than just random flirting. What's interesting to me is that they both seem to flip between the SAME roles between their (in-game) general perception and their actual pursual of romance. 

Vex gets characterized as a pretty big flirt, right? She's got the winks, the casual "darling". She's flashed grog her boobs on multiple instances with little prompting. Beau, similarly, has easily the most game out of anyone in the m9. She's slept with two guest characters and at least one more npc in the events of the game. Caleb made her a fuck mirror in her room in the mansion. And yet, in both of their actual romantic endeavors, they became the shy, uncertain type. 

Vex only confessed her feelings when Percy was laying dead before her, and not an hour of game play before percy kissed her in the woods, she had a talk with vax about how she was pretty sure he didn't like her that way and she didn't want to pursue it. Beau, similarly, spent a very long time convinced that yasha wasn't looking for love after zuala, especially not in anyone like her, asked everyone in the party if they thought yasha ACTUALLY liked her, just to be safe, and then still terrified to ask her out after recieving a literal love letter. I'd argue this shift comes from that same sense of unbelonging - they're very good at pretending they fit a role but doubt their actual right to take it when the opportunity is presented. This time, the role is the lover rather than the daughter.

4. authority: Both vex and beau grew up shunned by the upper crust of society, and grew to mistrust those kinds of people. And yet, both of their arcs result in them assuming such a position. Vex, thrown out of high society gets her place as a baronness, and Beau, running from leadership of her father's business ends up a top member of the Cobalt Soul. There's not a lot here, but I find it interesting how both of their stories involve them shedding their baggage regarding authority and power and assuming it in a way that they feel comfortable in - invitation by someone she trusts for vex, and a promise of freedom of will and control for beau.

5. their deadliest sins: this is the point at which their similarities culminate and transform to a fundamental difference. despite everything they share - shitty childhoods, the small piece of family that's still good, flirtiness masking shy love, and a mistrust of those in power - vex and beau are such different characters because of their biggest vices. Vex, both in game and out, is "the greedy one". She's stingy with money, she haggles for everything, she mourns the loss of physical objects. Beau is "the mean one". She cares little for people's feelings if they're not in her immediate circle, she focuses on her tough guy image, she laughs at things she knows she shouldn't. 

And, over the course of the campaign, as they find unconditional acceptance, they grow away from these traits (I won't say they grow out of them) because they heal from the things causing these vices to begin with. I've always been vocal about vex's greed being a manifestation of her class insecurity, and beau's asshole-ness stemming from her fear of being forced back into another position of complacency. And I stand by that now - all the similarities in their backstories are what tally up to these different women.

Despite her careful tally of party funds and her reflexive bargaining, vex is not cruel. she is not angry on her own behalf. She saves two boys from the market in the city of brass at great personal cost, she relinquishes an entire dragon's hoard to the devastated city of Westruun, she took the time to save a baby bear from a cage when she could have just cut and run after escaping her own. She's the first one most people go to when they need a shoulder to cry on, and she's devastated when they don't (thinkin about when Scanlan left). She carved "forgiveness" into the bow she stole from a man after killing him by proclaiming how much she loved someone, because she knew anger had no place in her heart.

And Beau, Beau is a bitch and she's harsh, but she doesn't hoard or protect like vex did. she spends her money without much of a second thought. She pitches in to help her friends buy a ton of glowsticks, and she loves to indulge in material desires like drink and good food and the nicer inn room. She's a member of an organization that's about making knowledge public rather than guarding it. And, though this may be controversial, I think her position with bowlgate of "its not our problem what cali wants to do with it", her long-standing mistrust of their alliance with the bright queen and  and more recently with the tomb takers of "i want to go in and talk, rather than assuming they're antagonistic, even if it puts us at a disadvantage" are both examples of this non-possessiveness too - she has no need or desire to get involved in controlling what other people are doing.

so, i guess the general conclusion here is: vex struggles to let go of things, of money, of people. beau struggles to let herself be known in case she gets wrongly interpreted again. they both fight feelings of inadequacy, they both fight the feelings of not belonging, of 'doing it wrong', they fight the perception of them as shitty people because of the shells they hide in despite their absolute hearts of gold.  but at the end of the day, vex's story is one of having to lay down what could never be hers so she can carry what is, and beau's story is one of allowing herself to be known so a place can be made for her.

[iconsumeheadcanons]

persona characters autism headcanons!

hi im autistic and i started my day with sun so now im !!!!!!!!! some of these headcanons are from elsewhere on tumbr, but i dont know where :(((  so i am hoping someone out there knows that n that everybody knows that i love them <3

(also go check out mollypaup and i think hypeswap if you havent already! they post some good stuff autism+adhd hc too!!! i think.. oh! and thieves-in-the-palace!!!)

P5

Joker

there was some artwork from someone on tublr..where they pointed out that he doesnt really talk outside the metaverse so--hes hyperverbal as joker and just near nonverbal as akiren

he stims ALL THE TIME. that phone thing, the pencil thing, the little tappy tap of his foot, pulling at his bangs when hes embarrassed/smug. someone get him a fidget spinner. he’ll prob learn to do tricks with it

he probably sucks at focusing in class, like i know its just the game design but hes always surprised out of his daily “star out the window at the nearby office building” when his teachers ask him questions

mona mentions when the pt is at Wilton for the first time (after they run into shido) that joker eats like shit, and that could have multiple causes at the start of the story of course, but when i first played i thought that joker was a picky eater and that the variety (and amount of food) at the buffet would be an Ordeal...

tho mona makes that comment bc joker looked pale after having a little ptsd moment from shidos voice, but i didnt know that the first time i played

maybe when joker makes a face at ryuji putting so much ginger in his gyudon? joker probably does not like pickled ginger lol

his favortive foods are all spicy, which is why the curry he makes for his friends is always ‘overly spicy’, and why kasumi makes him a curry bento and joker kept going “...?” .... “....?!”

overly reflective glasses have been a great plus for him bc now he never has to make real eye contact every again!

mona Soft. play with Ann hair. maybe Braid. nice

puns (Gorou the Goroumet)

he has so many options to be straight up rude sometimes in game. he probably no clue on his own, which is why he defaults to Not Talking. people probably mention his constant scary face, which is just him being nonexpressive, squinting at all the fucking bright lights, and Tired

executive function who? we do everything last minute folks

high pain tolerance, which is why he was the kid that was always climbing trees in elementary school to get basketballs unstuck from the branches

his sixth sense lets him see treasure and possible places to climb/crawl bc 1. Shiny? Steal it. Steal it Now. and 2. Could i fit in that? Time to Find Out

probalby a bit of a klepto too oops. he’ll return it tho!! but he has to do it dramatically or he’ll die

cant sit properly to save his life

smells and touch are Great, they can keep him grounded when his brain goes off to police or dead rivals or guilt or

if a friend hung out with him and gave him total reigns of the agenda, he would choose to nap on the floor while his friend does something off to the side quietly

hyperfocuses on handy tasks (i.e. lockpicks, coffee brewing, cleaning, his part time jobs) and some things like movies and books. everything else is a tossup

his (normal) navigation app is his most used app bc he still doesnt know where hes going, even though he only goes to the same few places in the city

hates being sweaty, literally cannot stand it. probably double exhausted during the summer

but Needs Compression so hes often Struggling

Futaba

paraphrase from p5d “i have no motor skills so i cant play rhythm games :(” need i say more? (i will regardless)

echolalia all the time, from anime, memes, the PT

those headphones she wears all the time? noise cancelling ear protectors babey

only talks about her interests, “normal” talking is Not Easy, but she is still communicative w others despite her worries. shes not “hard to understand” at all but she feels the anxiety nonetheless

only talks informally, cannot talk ‘politely’ with out imitating someone around her

shes had meltdowns and anxiety attacks in game :( i relate so hard

Technology. thats it

def had an egypt phase that pops up every few months. probably came from yu-gi-oh

has Immune to Bright Lights buff.  joker is very jealous

“Time to make like a tree and leave!” and 30 other iterations

video game metaphors are the only ones that makes sense to her

probably relates hard to robot characters in anime for their general androgyny and confusion about human emotions and connections

probably gets told that shes “too smart to be on the spectrum” by teachers >:( she fails their classes on purpose

wakaba’s autistic too that just how it is

the Connection that she establishes with Joker is so Warm. my life goals include adopting an older brother like futaba has lsdkfjslkfj

also eater of 5 foods only, i mean, she brings cup ramen to the beach. i just really admire her...

hides in small spaces for comfort

doesnt she have like uhhhhh hyperthymesia or something like that?

Yusuke

art

his entire social link is learning how humans work, which i relate

talks seriously all the time

“sarcasm? who is that? are you saying I was sarcastic?...how?”

cant remember to take care of his body, and madarame did not help with that either

lot of uncomfortable staring, hes overdoing the eye contact thingy

infodumps all the time, doesnt know hes doing it

needs a lot of support even if he doesnt think he deserves it. no one ever complains about helping him out tho

visual stims my friends

he didnt know that you could look up pictures on the internet but he does know you can stream live videos of waterfalls and fluffy animales!!

I am certainly in the mood

for something salty today.

he and joker are scared of math. numbers do not interact

Yusuke, futaba, and akiren are a trio and i know this bc their first day of non-thievery interacts is Akiren clearing Futabas room w/o permission, futaba hyperfocusing on destroying medjed, and yusuke rearranging futabas figurines so they are more visually appealing

morgana is a support friend for all of them bc igor knows they need it

P4

Souji/Yu

yes, he mostly wears gray semi formal clothes bc parents tell him to, no, he will not changes this

Schedule or Death

“sorry, could you repeat that?” “huh? oh yeah, i was saying that--” “yeah that’d be cool.”

cats, fishing, he just likes to be quiet. you can literally spend a day at the beach just to think if you want, and that is what yu want

has a lot of scripts for things (of which he shares with nanako!) but if he runs out he just stops talking..

inaba is a godsend bc its so fucking quiet and warm

he Yearns to hold his friends hands, but he shies away from a lot of touch (excepting yosuke, teddie, and nanako)

Cooking and Cleaning makes the world better. he and joker vibe together with this

unlike akiren, he strong arms any executive dysfunction into Be Productive or Else. his punishment is feeling the pure anxiety of having to make up for ‘lost time’. (another symptom of his workaholic parents)

writes everything down, notes are very neat, has pages dedicated for bad doodles when hes not feeling his usual Super Classroom Focus

Cannot handle secondhand embarrassment (most often caused by yosuke) and will quietly slip away to random cats or origami folding

hungry, crunch crunch folks. probably needs chewelry bc he used to chew on his shirt collars when he was younger.

cleans up after everyone in the food court, constantly worries about them accidently hurting themselves. likely spends half of group conversations watching peoples hands

he canonically eats expired food, nanako plz help your brother

really clumsy, but people only notice after they decide that he is a cool person

video games are too chaotic for him

exhausted every night from the pure amount of masking he does, if a friend spends the night (or is like yosuke) they will know his more comfortable weirdo self (tho everyone knows hes a weirdo eventually)

hyperempathetic, sometimes just understands animals and children better than peeople his age or older

Yukiko

her jokes

she and souji get in ‘trouble’ together, she and joker commit crimes together

she and chie have to coordinate outfits, its important

actually understands metaphors, but does not understand people

like me, had no clue that creepy kid was flirting with her

she is very angry when she has meltdowns that might involve slamming doors and shouting. her parents call these ‘tantrums’ and ‘unfitting for a polite daughter’ but really thats because her meltdowns tend to be caused by arguments w her family after a long day of school and TV world traipsing

the metronome meme, except hers goes between Loudest Person in the Room to Quietest Pin Drop in the Planet. she is completely unaware of this

her atmosphere brightens when chie appears. that is not only the lesbian energy within her, but also because chie is like her Favorite Person

Cannot wear Pants. No (tho she wants to try it! but she puts them on and her soul instantly squashes)

happy flappy lesbian! watch out!

Naoto

the pouty face. all the time lskdfjlasdkf

hes really snappy sometimes and i love that for him. he and akechi should fight just to see what would happen (please read Bang Bang Shoot Shoot on AO3)

“do not touch me or my hat, thank you”

no one has ever seen him shutdown and no one ever will (except for his grandpa)(and kanji)(and rise)

probably likes certain food textures and will stand for nothing less, probably feels embarrassed about his preferences with friends

constantly jumps between ‘everybody hates me so i should act like them so they dont hate me’ to ‘i refuse to be anything but very comfortable as myself, and i dont care that im making you upset sir’

he and souji are the king and queen of subtle stims, but for unhappy reasons :(

does not make jokes. cannot joke around. understand? yes, do? no.

loose clothes are the only good clothes, but all tags and obtrusive seams will be obliterated by kanji tatsumi

not very empathetic so he probably comes off as an asshole to strangers (like when he throws away his classmates confession letters without reading them) but he tries so hard to sound comforting when his buds are struggling.

his understanding of others emotions/reactions come from his learning as a detective, which seems cold+clinical to others, especially compared to souji, whos completely unexpressive but very introverted people person

P3

Hamuko/Minako/Kotone

big personality!! very people-oriented!! koromaru and her are buddies!! when shes having a real bad time, shes very quiet and expressions turn off

interrupts herself in the middle of conversations all the time. no one knows where shes coming from. her brains is thousands of km ahead of her body

bouncey legs, swingin arms, twirlly skirt, little somersaults! when will she stop? never!

very obvious music stims with her hands and arms! people are like “oh there she goes! happy as usual!” shes listening to minatos heavy metal playlist

switches from exhausted to excited within milliseconds. no one can predict, not even her

SEES has to ask her for context all the time cuz she’ll just continue shit from 2 weeks ago without warning

professionals will assume shes very childish bc of how chipper she is, but she is beyond mature for her age and only feels comfortable enough to have serious conversations if a person has proved themself able to handle it

collects every little thing. her room is a mess and she has to get rid of most of it every time she moves :(

hates cleaning! smells bad, feels bad hhhhhgggg

dont let mitsuru-senpai see her bedroom

gets lost in the middle of conversations with others bc shes thinking about a story connected to one(1) word that was said earlier

 no sense of time and place, she just sees her friends and goes “ah, this is the right place, then” but junpei and akihiko are also lost so now theyre all screwed

Minato/Makoto/Sakuya

no talkies, no walkies

his story in the movies is him literally learning how to function around people he cares for

doesnt get jokes, expressions, body language, empathy, subtlety, metaphors, physical contact, or eye contact. aigis is probably the only person he truly understands right away

he is still nice to people because he doesnt see a reason not to be, but also he has very limited energy so only his senpai and old people get his most polite-kindnesses

cannot describe feelings for the life of him. the team wont know hes injured or sick until hes passed out

everything is too loud, time to drown it out with my loud ass music

rocking and chewing stims, ryoji is the first person to point him out for these subtle stims (not accusingly of course, just general pure curiosity and love for the uniqueness of humanity)

likes to cover his face with whatever is available, lives like a bat in a dark dry cave

will wear anything that has pockets and his blue/gray/black palette

sleepy at all times bc he never has much energy

when he was younger he probably needed a lot of support, especially after his parents died, because he wouldnt communicate like a neurotypical and would shutdown for hours in the middle of school without warning. probably missed a lot of lessons and field trips out of pure overstimulation

eating at all times. no preference, just whatevers closest

his meltdowns probalby include humming whining noises and curling up in a ball, which makes people want to touch him, but that is the LAST thing he wants. put a blanket on him! play some music! do not talk and do not expect him to speak

aigis is the only person who can touch him normally bc her hands are cold and he likes cold

never nude, feels mmmmmmmmm without clothes and probalby wears a full robe in the hotsprings

will not do things that take more than one step w/o someone else walking him thru it, which Same

[mnogorgannik]

2 10 n 11 :)

this is basically an essay im so sorry. watch how hard i can infodump (ill put this under a cut hopefully it works bc sometimes tumblr decimates the keep reading things if theyre in asks)

2. Who’s your favorite of the Bound? What do you think of the different ideologies they have? Which of the factions are you most aligned with?

WE ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER I AM A PETER LOVER THROUGH AND THROUGH!!!!!! oh baby i love that morally questionable architect. pretty early on in getting into pathologic (it’s coming up on a year now...) i thought about peter stamatin too hard and now i’m here. but really i find him to be such a fascinating character!

the thing about pathologic that i love is how almost every character can be as complex as you want. pathologic does an excellent job of implying a lot of character traits while only exploring some in further detail, which in some games is frustrating but patho does it so well! it consistently hints at traits and lets you fill in the details yourself. peter’s character is extremely interesting to me... and maybe a little more relatable at times than i want to admit lol.

i think i’ll talk about both stamatins though! their dynamic hurts me a lot. i’ll start with andrey bc i’ve been thinking about him lately. although i’ll bounce back and forth between both stamatins.

i’ve said this before but i’ll say it again.... andrey’s role as a protector who inadvertently hurts the people he cares about really gets to me. he is not a shield but, in his own words, a battering ram. and the problem is that battering ram has a recoil.

i have to wonder how that mentality of his came about, anyways. the implication is that it’s always just been him and peter, so did he take on that role because there wasn’t anyone else to do it?

in his efforts to protect peter from... military, i believe, he kills four people. which leads to daniil getting mistaken for andrey, which leads to daniil getting shot. and almost dying. he protects peter but to a smothering extent, peter even says he’s been suffering for ten years bc of andrey which is a LOADED line. he protects on a physical level but he kinda fucks up on the emotional.

there’s a horrible irony in peter and eva being the people he cares about the most and both attempting suicide. with eva once she’s missing he immediately goes running off trying to look for her, and . ahh i can’t remember right off hand what exactly he thought happened. but ik he was probably expecting a fight. with peter he says that after that he’ll never let peter leave his side, at least “as far as his knife can fly”... it sounds cheesy but the one thing he can’t save anyone from is themself.

and god the way andrey bases his ENTIRE sense of self worth on peter fucking hurts. they’re not peter and andrey, the architects. they’re Peter And Andrey, The Architect. (thinking about “one architect, two brothers” here.) andrey thinks he’s larger than life and all but he’s constantly living in peter’s shadow. their theatre of death positions come to mind here, with peter standing up, looking down at andrey. but andrey is on his knees in front of peter, arms limp to his sides.... separated by a wooden beam...

peter’s side of this dynamic is fascinating too. his dependency on andrey is. ow. leaving all practical matters and decision making to him... there’s this resentment (That’s Fine I’ve Been Suffering For Ten Years Because Of Him) and lack of communication that especially shows through for him.

while in p2 andrey completely crumbles if peter dies, peter doesn’t seem to care...... at all....?? which hopefully is elaborated upon in p2. he’s willing to talk to aspity about worrying if andrey is angry with him but he can’t bring it up with andrey himself. when he asks how andrey is doing he stops and says andrey is a “tough man” and can handle anything. in general, while it’s definitely there for andrey, themes of dependency are really glaringly obvious for peter.

one of my favorite peter things i’ve talked about before is still his ego!!! peter has a gigantic ego!!! he really does think that even though he’s hit the ceiling and can’t go any further he is still “a true architect” and “the rock upon which is built the stairway to tomorrow”. he has a blunt edge to him and he doesn’t ever tell you more than he thinks he needs to which i love. if he doesn’t want to tell you something he isn’t gonna do it. this is a character trait i think ppl miss which is sad because it’s so good and adds another layer of depth to him!

it really does hurt me how he’s valued for his mind alone (AHEM AHEM AHEM. GEORGIY) but it’s the thing nobody understands about him. i’m nowhere near as smart as peter lol but i do know that pain of feeling like none of your ideas can be understood because you just can’t express them the way you’d like, and then feeling like you’ll never be able to make it happen.

also, here’s a little thing  i’ve picked up on. this connection probably doesn’t exist but i’m making it because the stamatins make me lose my mind and start becoming one of those people who looks for connections in everything i guess. peter standing in the theatre of death, andrey below him. peter’s loft being at a high point in the town, the broken heart being underground. peter’s loft is also higher north on the map but the broken heart is lower south. just smth interesting

i have more thoughts on them of course! but this is all getting awfully long. i feel like i’ve only just gotten to the tip of the iceberg  even though i’ve written so much skfjskfjs this just feels quite surface level or. at least what is surface level for me who thinks about the stamatins so hard.

anyways i’ll keep my answers to the other two parts of this question quick! peter and andrey’s more creative vs practical mindsets are rly neat. especially because i would actually argue peter is a little more grounded in reality in certain aspects. not all, but certain ones...... their take on the utopian ideology is interesting. hot take: peter’s version of utopianism leans a tad towards humility. and andrey /does/ feel “straightforward utopian” but i think in certain regards? this man has a bit of a termite streak..... (hi al if you’re reading this). but i won’t get into that right now i’ve already gone on so long. saving that for later.

i think all of the factions kinda suck in their own way sometimes, honestly? although all of them are well written and have their pros and cons. were i in pathologic and i had to choose one i’d probably be a termite but everyone around me seems to think i’m a utopian. is it bc i love peter so much

10. What would you be like as a Pathologic character?

this question is a hard one! i did make a self insert once, mile-a-minute, but they’ve become their own oc by now. i think i’d be very...... very afraid...... probably isolating myself why does every pathologic character break quarantine???? also you could trade beetles with me :) thats about all i’ve got sorry this is real short

11. What is something you would change, writing-wise, about either game?

UGH i’ve been gushing about pathologic because. obviously i love this game so much. but the way it handles racism & such (in both games!) leaves much to be desired :/

i see a lot of the points it’s trying to make but i think the way they’re handled can be very messy. there are moments that work very well but. a lot that don’t. (i am aware that dybowski writes partially from his own experiences)

all too often the game “validates” the kin’s oppression and... at times paints them as oddly antagonistic? i don’t like how often as artemy you’re able to be like “i’m not one of those beasts” and i think there are better ways to touch on his internalized racism. in general the constant comparisons to animals is weird. you get big vlad who is obviously explicitly racist comparing them to animals, but then sometimes it’s like “ACTUALLY calling them animals is fine :)”

i think the herb brides are kind of. Hm. in their portrayal. also using parts of the buryat alphabet to denote an accent is weird. making odongh and herb brides inhuman is weird. connecting the kin to Magic is weird.

and, listen, i’d really like to not be playing Artemy Burakh Experiences a Microaggression Simulator every time i’m playing the haruspex route. hate that you either can’t call ppl out on their shit or if you can it ends the conversation/bars you from getting necessary information. glad you at least get to drag the vlads, i guess?

i also was talking about this but wrt peter specifically, and this issue is present throughout the game but it’s especially visible with peter, i don’t like how often you can mock him for his addiction.

he’s obviously in an extremely rough patch! being able to be just so plain cruel to him about the dependency on alcohol (and iirc in p1 hallucinogens, bc aglaya mentions it) he’s formed to cope with his mental illness & trauma just feels bad. especially because yes it is not a healthy coping mechanism at all but... it still is a coping mechanism, if that makes sense?

the way you’re able to constantly rub it in his face feels awful. peter is fully aware that it isn’t good for him and shows a desire to quit. even if he didn’t it would still be awful to say because. it’s just insensitive. like you don’t just go up to someone and keep being like HEY YOU DRINK A LOT YOU SHOULD STOP DOING THAT DO YOU KNOW WHAT WATER IS? feels really bad to keep harping on something that causes him pain and that he struggles with every single day.

however peter does have moments where he tells you Not to say that, or if you pry into why he drinks he’ll outright say he doesn’t remember you being his friend, which is better than nothing.

in p1 moreso than p2 i hate how you can be like oh he’s craaaazy he’s off his rocker he’s delusional!!!! that “why, i never... an architect of schizophrenia!” comment sticks in my mind because it’s just... so genuinely mean. especially because if i remember correctly that line is from when he’s planning on LITERALLY FUCKING BURNING HIMSELF ALIVE

i think if they were going to have all of this they should have gone more in depth on how it’s really. not good that he’s treated so poorly. and i do believe that’s what they were going for, a la the art book w/ the whole “not to be made into a drunken clown, this is a tragic character”, etc. but it just doesn’t land. i’m holding out for the bachelor and changeling routes in p2 to see if they expand upon any of it but i highly doubt i’ll be satisfied in this regard.

i stand by the One time it was really fucking funny to clown on peter being the time you can tell him little girls eat raspberries and earthworms and he just believes you

[spideyspence]

communication; peter parker

heya, this is (late & unedited) for @plushparker‘s 2k writing challenge. i hope you all enjoy this fic bc it was based on the prompt ‘i’ve been trying to talk to you all night’ and i got a little carried away. enjoy!

(warnings: the readers a dumbass in this fic but like,,, plot & angst. also there’s some violence bc there’s a fight scene at the end)

my masterlist

-

‘Peter why the hell couldn’t I communicate with you during that fight? Why weren’t you responding? I’ve been trying to talk to you all night.’ You yelled to your best friend on the top of a building in New York City.

Your best friend and you had just worked together in taking town a robbery of a bank on the Upper West Side that had been in the works of Wilson Fisk’s men for nearly a year. Peter and you had been working for hours each night, trying to plan how they were going to stop the crime. Peter was in his Spider-Man suit while you were in your own, a sleek black and purple outfit with your mask littered somewhere on the roof where you had thrown it in anger.

‘I’m sorry Y/N but I was punched, and the Bluetooth stopped working. I’m sorry that I was punched.’ Peter rolled his eyes.

He would be yelling at you too if he wouldn’t have been able to speak to you during dangerous events of that night. He was stressed because he was beginning to do more appearances at FEAST to help out Aunt May and he had a physics test the next morning he hadn’t studied for, and he was tired.

‘Those men were still stronger than we anticipated Pete. I was scared okay, I refuse to put you in danger which seems stupid because we’re a team, but you know I will always jump in front of you to save you but I can’t handle the idea of fighting on my own.’ Your lungs were starting to take in as much of the night air as they could during your angered rant.

‘No matter how much time we spent planning Y/N, they were always going to be stronger and have the upper hand on fighting. We have to rely on our ourselves and each other while they have thousand-dollar guns aimed in our direction.’ Peter said to you, his voice softer than yours.

‘You still could’ve contacted me! Karen still freaking works, right?’ You questioned sarcastically.

‘Yeah, but-’ Peter was stuck. You had a damn good point.

‘You know how important communication is, especially during a fight like that, knowing that our lives were at stake!’

‘Well if you’re going to be this panicked maybe we shouldn’t be working together!’ Peter yelled.

Silence.

It was always the two of you. Worked together on group projects in school, going to go see the new Star Wars films at the cinemas (Ned came along for a couple of them), studying, working together to take down the bad guys.

It was Y/N and Peter, that’s how the world works.

You stared at Peter, struggling to believe that your best friend would say something like that.

‘You really think that that is how we should go. Work alone? No longer help each other out?’ You questioned as you walk away to pick up your mask to put it back on to hide your tears from your best friend.

‘Y/N I- I didn’t mean that.’ Peter said softly, his voice starting to shake.

‘You seemed pretty certain about it.’ You snapped.

You didn’t want to leave your best friend. You knew that you and Peter were the best team. You understood each other’s movements. You knew that what you were about to do was completely unreasonable and stupid, but you were too clouded with your emotions and Peter’s words still racing through your head.

Peter started to slowly walk towards you.

‘Y/N, I swear I didn’t mean that. We’re a team, we always work together, and we work well. I’m sorry I’m just frustrated.’

‘Don’t bother apologising Peter, just, I’ll see you tomorrow at school.’

You turned around and leapt off the room and headed back home to get some sleep.

-

Walking down the halls of midtown, you kept your eyes focused on your locker because there was no way that you were going to face Peter.

Grabbing your books seemed like the perfect time for Peter to go up and talk to you but when you saw his New Balance sneakers next to you, you slammed your locker door shut and turned in the opposite direction, taking the longer way to your maths class.

You knew that you had to get over Peter’s words, and you knew you would eventually, but they had hurt so bad.

It wasn’t fair that Peter snapped at you just because you wanted to make sure that he was safe.

Sitting in maths you didn’t make eye contact with Peter. You had made the mistake of looking at him once and seeing the pain in his eyes made your stomach turn.

-

During lunch you didn’t talk to Peter, you just sat there reading your book, not taking in any words that were on the paper. You couldn’t focus on the story when thoughts of Peter were racing through your head.

Peter and Ned were whispering quietly to one another and Ned could sense the tension between the two of you. MJ was a lifesaver however because she sat down next to you.

Peter must have told her that something was going on, but you could tell from the look on MJ’s face, she didn’t know why.

-

After lunch was English with MJ. You didn’t have the class with Peter which was a gift for that day because you did not want to deal with your ‘best friend’.

MJ sat next to you and she questioned about you and Peter.

You two would always sit together at lunch, discussing whether the movie night this week was going to be at yours or his, whether the book was better than the movie (which MJ usually sided with you, because the book is (nearly) always better than the movie while Ned would side with Peter) and talking about what you learnt in physics. You two never talked about your teamwork outside of school, in fear of endangering others or if anyone was listening who shouldn’t be.

‘Peter and I had an argument last night over something. Just, he got on my nerves last night because he stressed me out.’

‘Okay, but we all know that he is an idiot, sometimes right?’ MJ laughs.

‘I know, and I know that I’m overreacting but it’s just really getting on my nerves. Peter’s my best friend and I want him to keep in contact you know?’ You said, straying closely to the truth, but not too close.

‘Peter sucks at texting back. He either texts straight away or at 3am, there’s no in-between.’ MJ smirks.

You sigh and continue to work on your English assignment.

‘I’m just distancing myself and I’m gonna work my own for a bit, rather than working with Pete.’

‘Okay, just remember that Pete will always be there for you, but  I know I don’t have to remind you.’

-

It was a week later. You had finished your homework for the night and told your parents you were going to bed, but you snuck out onto the fire escape and went to patrol for the night.

You hadn’t heard too much of Spider-Man’s activities in helping your city, only the small things such as helping the man find his pigeons.

Jumping from building to building, you were keeping an eye out for any odd behaviour when you spied a group of people hanging around a jewellery store. They were wearing homemade masks, so you knew this wasn’t a night where these people were getting a couple of drinks.

You eyed one of the masked people and jumped to a streetlight that was across the street from the store. Even though you never admitted it to him, you always had to thank Peter for teaching you how to stay balanced on the lights because there were too many laughter-filled nights and bruised legs the next morning from when you would slip.

When one masked people pulled out a hammer, that was when you interrupted.

‘Sorry to ruin your lovely night, but I’m not too sure that what you’re doing is legal.’ As you made your way over to the streetlight on their side of the busy NYC street.

The people on the ground started squabbling and pulling out their weapons that you had managed to not see in the first place. As they were pulling out their weapons, you told them to ‘take their time’.

You hadn’t thought that far ahead. Of course, they would’ve had weapons. So you stole your moment to think about what to do.

You saw an opening and leapt onto the tallest of the masked group and rebounded onto the smallest, ready to take them on.

‘Honey, you only just missed me. What a pity. Aim better next time.’ You teased as you dodged the female masked lady and then kicked her aside. Then you spun around to kick the tallest in the group on the temple, knowing that it would only knock the guy out.

You were down to the last three people, and you weren’t even tired. You were just doing your usual patrol and you were glad that the other ‘protector’ of New York hadn’t joined the party. However, when you looked to your left, you were ready to forgive your best friend so you could make it out of the night alive.

Many black SUV’s came screeching down the avenue, a never-ending line of them.

Your guess what that the people who were planning to rob the jewellery store, weren’t just a group of bored people.

In your moment of distraction, you felt someone punch you in the abdomen but after a year of fighting, you knew not to lean down. Instead, you gasped for air and hit back twice as hard. You spun, dodged and jumped, knocking out all of the robbers, wanting to get that off your to do list at the moment.

You saw many men run jump out of the many cars when you turned around, all now holding guns that you weren’t expecting.

Now you understood why you and Peter couldn’t work alone.

You always needed each other.

When the first shot was fired and you only narrowly missed, you knew you had got yourself into a bit of a mess.

Then you heard a familiar ‘pist’ sound.

However, you didn’t let your eyes flick over to your right, because in that moment, you were going to use Peter to your advantage.

It’s strange, there was a silence, as if the world was still but then you heard a voice in your earpiece.

‘Look Y/N, I’m sorry but we were both wrong. Could I be starting more unnecessary shit by saying this? Probably but we both had our faults. I should’ve contacted you, but you also didn’t have to ignore me. We didn’t have to have a ‘fight’. Anyway, I’m not gonna have a whole big speech right now because we’re about to be in the middle of something, but are we ready to work together again?’ Peter asked?

‘Okay yeah we’re all good. I’m sorry, and here we go. Start from the back and don’t be seen.’ You said quietly to Peter.

‘Yep spectacular spidey silent.’ You rolled you eyes and you saw out the corner of your eyes, a flash of blue and red jump to the corner of the building, and start taking out the men out the back. Even you could hear the ‘thwip’ from Peter, and even though he was saving you, you still needed to help his spider ass.

‘Okay, now let’s have some fun.’ You said as you ran forward to the army in front of you.

Now that everything was back in place, everything felt a lot smoother.

You flipped over about twenty men in front of you and you met the first guy with a kick to the throat and he stumbled back onto the ground and then you kicked another one of his buddies who landed right on top.

The two of you kept in touch the whole time, working well together and when you had your last five guys, you decided to have even more fun.

Finish things up by taking one of the guys and swinging him around to take out his other four mates.

You heard Peter laugh. It was your style to muck around a little bit, even when it was a dangerous situation.

Peter was the one to muck around with words, while you were the one to muck around a little bit when fighting, and it meant that the two of you worked well together.

You smiled at your best friend after the two of you took out the last guy and you went to hug your best friend when you looked over his shoulder only to shove the both of you to the side.

You could still hear the whistling of the bullet in your ear.

That’s when you saw one more car coming towards you, except you didn’t think this was one going to stop anytime soon.

‘Pete, do you wanna lift me?’ You turned to your best friend.

Peter nodded and grabbed onto your arm and swung the two of you up to the top of the building on the corner of the street.

The new black truck was driving past you and from the back on the building, a new problem arose.

You saw more men jump out, but then you saw the leader of the masked men.

Wilson Fisk.

The big (the only word that could describe him) man jumped down from the truck and you could see the metal bouncing back from the heavy man.

‘So here we are Spider-Man and his little girlfriend.’ Fisk looked up at you with a evil smirk.

You couldn’t care less about being called Spider-Man’s ‘girlfriend’, but you weren’t happy about the fact that Fisk had only called you that.

You weren’t Peter’s sidekick, and Peter wasn’t yours.

You were equal.

Now you were ready to fight.

Peter shot his webs over to the building opposite the two of you and swung the two of you over them. You dropped from Peter’s hold and knocked out one of the men cold.

You saw Fisk load his gun and before you could say anything, webs were shot, and the weapon went flying from Kingpin’s grasp.

You nodded to your friend in acknowledgement of his smooth move and the two of you went back to fighting the men.

Take down the pawns in order to take down the king.

Peter was dodging bullets and you had taken down the last men when you turned around to see Peter held by his neck by Wilson Fisk.

Your best friend started kicking, flailing around, suffocating.

You gasped, scared but you had no time to let the panic set in.

You took a deep breath. Panic was going to be no friend here.

The fire hydrant wasn’t going to be a good distraction, but you always had some stuff up your sleeves.

Peter wasn’t the one who was also inventing, nor Tony. You worked with Peter a lot when it came to improving his suit. It also meant that you had made a few little toys for yourself.

You threw a smoke bomb in Fisk’s direction hoping that it would release his grip of Pete just a little and then you climbed to the top of another streetlight and leapt onto Fisk.

You were right and landed on the crime lord’s shoulders and in surprise, he dropped and spun around to try and throw you off which you allowed.

Peter always recovered fast and it was something that you never completely understood, but soon enough you felt Peter’s webs stick to you and the next moment you were flying in Fisk’s direction and you kicked the man in the stomach which caught him by surprise. It then allowed you to distract Fisk as Peter snuck up behind him and began to tie him up with his webs.

Once everything was handled and Fisk was not able to move due to the number of webs that were trapping him, you called 911.

‘Yeah we’re all good. Yeah on the corner where the jewellery store is. Yep that’s the right one. Yep where the bus stop is. Yep on 5th avenue. All good? Anytime. Have a good night now guys.’ You wished the police a good night.

‘Well that was fun.’ You laughed.

Now that the adrenaline had stopped for the two of you, you realise how tired you were and how much your bodies hurt.

‘Can’t wait to see the bruise tomorrow. And shit, it’s 10:30pm.’ You said.

‘Did you finish the chem work?’ Peter asked as the two of you swung across the city.

‘Yeah I did. Do you need to borrow my answers?’ You laughed.

‘Okay yeah, just this once. Thanks.’ Peter chuckled.

‘You said that the last five times dumb-bum.’

It then returned to silence, and you knew what was coming next.

‘Peter, I’m sorry. Just, I got really scared and I panicked and yes, I was kinda rude with ignoring you and I know it was a bitchy thing to do but I was so angry. Pete, I was so scared.’ You explained. You didn’t have a good reason or your actions, but you were trying to make sense of them.

‘Y/N, I get it. I would’ve panicked too if the roles were swapped but we both acted out okay. We all good now?’ Peter smiled.

‘Of course, buddy.’

‘Okay shut up.’ Pete groaned at the nickname.

‘Be nice if you want the answers.’ You shouted as you returned to the ground, as you were now going to walk the couple more blocks to return to your apartment complex.

‘Sorry. Good night, love you!’ Peter swung away.

If it were any other city, people would be annoyed at the shouting.

‘Love you too buddy!’ You shouted from the ground.

You walked home with a smile on your face.

-

The next morning, at school, Peter thanked you again and called you a ‘lifesaver’ for giving him the answers to the chemistry homework.

Peter maybe smart, but he sucked at remembering to do his homework.

MJ smiled and you nodded to her from across the hall.

Everything was back to normal between you and your best friend, with one lesson learnt.

Just fucking communicate.