#he really doesn't wanna hurt hurt/he really wants this to be enjoyable and special for her

[polinsated]

[kindacreepy-kindaugly]

tw in the tags

didn't realize how badly this was affectin me even though it wasn't me

[icearts]

A couple things about Sonic Prime that disappointed me

1. Shadow was in almost the entire trailer, but showed up for 3 out of the 7 episodes

2. An action scene that lasted for three episodes. It got redundant

3. There was an entire plot point where Sonic was dying from the prism energy being taken from him. This took 3 minutes of screen time and the risk felt minimal if it was there at all

4. No consequences = no stakes (literally there was no issue or "sacrifice" that came out of repairing the prism. Idk what i was hoping for, but the fact that everything was so easily fixed kinda hurt my feelings because it made the entirety of season 2 seem completely pointless and dumb)

5. Shadow was super protective of Sonic in the first episode, but never showed that same "Would kill and die for you in a seconds notice" energy he had in that first episode

6. The chaos emerald is mentioned again but never used as a plot point. Chekov's Gun is fake, apparently

7. It's said that Sonic can't exist in the Shatterspace without prism energy, but Shadow never had it in the first place. There is no provided explanation as to why this makes sense. The closest thing was "shadow wasn't there during the blast" but that only explains why he doesn't have the energy, not why he doesn't need it to live like Sonic does (I assume the others have at least a signature of it too which is why they cloned and Shadow didn't. Again this is unexplained in Prime. What does the prism energy even do for/to the supporting cast)

8. Why are there only 7 episodes? Why do they take up so much time in one place?

9. Rouge and Shadow only had one line of dialogue (this isn't a genuine critique I just wanted to see my favorite duo be a duo)

10. Sonic's Prism "Super Form" doesn't come back. Shadow doesn't get anything like that either. Another dud Chekov Gun. Why is this dumb little anecdotal metaphorical firearm never firing

I really loved the new season, and it was great and super fun, but those critiques really ruined some things because those were all things I thought would be a guarantee because of the trailer and because of how the other seasons were.

Why would they even bother to mention the chaos emerald, and this weird void thing if it wasn't going to be essential to the plot other than being an excuse to sideline Shadow. They could have just as easily said that chaos energy is neutralized in cyberspace because it's not connected to the world/chaos/master emerald. That works too!

Plus, why was Shadow sidelined so much? What's the reason? Why wasn't he allowed to use chaos energy and go apeshit? Why couldn't he take off his inhibitor rings in a desperate situation to protect Sonic and be able to teleport into shatterspaces even at the expense of his health?

I know it's a TV-Y7 show. It honestly did not need to be, but I'm sure it was a Netflix mandate to make sure their animation is all meant for kids and only kids, but they really ended up nerfing themselves by alienating their more passionate audience which would be teenagers and adults. Just make it TV PG that would've allowed you to work with higher stakes and a higher budget (oh wait that's what Netflix's intention was nevermind).

If you wanna see me make a list of things I genuinely liked, feel free to ask or comment that. I might do so anyway. I feel like the internet is too negative and critiques of shows tend to do too much of that, so sorry for contributing to that culture, but I really needed to get that disappointment out because it bothered me quite a bit. Feel free to disagree too, or say "bro it's a kids show. It's not that deep. Stop having passion and emotions for your special interests you dumb fuck" I get it. Anyways, good show, good season, highly recommend, it's very fun and enjoyable especially if you're a fan of Sonic

Last minute edit: I only saw the season once and my sense of media literacy isn't by any means perfect, and also, to clarify, most of my concern isn't quite "these plot points are 1000% absent and terrible" and more "I thought the distribution between the action scene in episodes 4-7 and the rest of the season's story was very poor and made the content I was more excited for seem watered down/unplanned/super easily resolved". Again the part of the show where Sonic almost dies because of the prism energy withdrawal was about 3 minutes long. Why did it feel so low-stakes?? I love action scenes. They're great, but when you dedicate over 30 minutes to one long fight scene, it becomes less interesting and there's still MORE OF THE SHOW TO GET THROUGH so those parts got super rushed

[embossross]

i keep re-reading all the chapters of the devotion of the girl in the mirror in the past week. i LOVE it soooo much and i need more contents of it 😔. i am really excited and can't wait for the next chapter come out.

anyway, i have some questions for you. so in chapter 4, about the scene in the lingerie shop. i think it's kinda funny to me when reader saw rindou, she thought that he was there to buy some present for her. but noooo, he was actually there to spoil another woman, NOT reader. i found it funny and felt so hurt at the same time lol 😭. but but, i still don't understand why rindou need to spoil the mayuri girl? okay, he just met her after a long time because she moved somewhere else. so then what? like, buying her lingerie? and saying "spoiling her for the day", idk is it just me but rindou making it like mayuri is special to him. or maybe i'm just overreacting to this. but seriously, what was rindou thinking? i actually wanna know if it's rindou who wants it first. or mayuri was the one who ask him first. andddd i'm wondering if mayuri was once his favourite sub or what? kinda hoping that i can read it from a to z from rindou's pov so i can know what was he actually thinking 🙏. also, did he also let other women sleep in his apartment too? i wanna know why he still need to fuck other people. is reader not enough for him? i'm SO curious about it! but rindou won't answer any of it ☹️. i hope you can answer my questions though. the curiosity are really killing me. i think maybe i could die because of it 😓. i know this is too long, sorry about it! but i'm really bored rn hahah

i'd say you're probably overthinking this (which is flattering!), but since you're so curious, i guess i can expand on it a bit

except when it comes to his job, rindou's being very honest with reader, so everything he says about mayuri can be taken at face value. and what he doesn't say or think in the last chapter from his perspective is that mayuri is oh so important to him. she's just a woman he's had enjoyable sex and scenes with in the past, who hit him up because she'd be in town for a bit, so he decided to see her.it's not that deep that he'd want to dress her up or that he'd want to treat her nice. if you go back to chapters 1 and 2, you can hopefully see that rindou takes his role very seriously and is very generous/kind with the women he does scene work with because he knows he's hard on them during scenes. regardless, we're not seeing mayuri again. she could have been anyone. the point was merely for reader to discover that rindou sees other people casually.

i don't think it's healthy to frame it as 'reader is not enough for him.' that's not really what it's about. it's more about his patterns and expectations for his life, which i hope are pretty well laid in earlier chapters. he's just not someone used to change.

no, i think it's pretty explicit that rindou's never taken people back to his apartment or been serious with them before. ran makes such a big deal about reader for a reason.

i hope this helps a bit.

[paper--moons]

CG!Rappa Headcanons

Now, Rappa is a really rough and tumble kind of guy, there's no denying that—however, it's also worth noting that he doesn't choose to be rowdy for the sake of rowdiness and troublemaking. There's a method to his madness and that method is simply a I did it because it was fun mentality. And while fighting is fun and enjoyable for him, it's not the only that he finds rewarding. He might not be the most obvious cg, but he's got layers, and one of those layers tells him Why be strong if not to protect the small? when it comes to those he cares for.

Rappa as a cg is just a big teddy bear. He provides a lot of solid support for them, both emotionally and physically. Sure, he might not be the most well-versed in dealing with more complex emotions, but he does understand the importance of listening—along with the importance of what physical affection like a hug can do. The amount of reassurance they feel as he holds them tightly and croons a simple, yet heartfelt "I got you" is unparalleled.

Not only is he metaphorically a big teddy bear, but Rappa is a just a big guy in general. Which definitely helps keep regressors that struggle with feeling small due to body image issues in their regressed headspace. It's harder for them to feel like they're physically too big or tall to be as small as they need when he can pick them up like it's no problem at all. It's also something he does every chance he gets, and will in fact carry them propped up on his hip while he does around. Other things like piggyback rides are totally on the table too. And of course, he absolutely loves to toss the baby. Though he's sure to give them plenty of warning before he does so, and then lightly tosses them with grin and a "upsie-daisy!".

Speaking of upsie-daisies, Rappa is the type of cg that absolutely uses babytalk. And this isn't just limited to the type of things that some cgs typically sprinkle into their vocabulary when talking to their little one; he does not shy away from picking up and implementing whatever it is they have decided to call something either. They call naps "zee-zees"? Cool, he's calling naps that now too. Rappa doesn't care if it makes him look silly to adopt these words because one: it's really stinking cute of them and he wants to encourage them and two: if it makes it easier for them to communicate and feel comfortable while regressed, then he's going to do it.

He's also very much down to get on their level. They want him to play dress up with them and have a tea party? Sure thing bubba, you wanna pick me out something pretty to wear? Basically lets them run the show and enjoys the ride (as is his typical caregiving style; as long as they're having fun and not hurting themselves he's cool with whatever they want to do). So he's more than happy to have them pick things out of their dress-up trunk for them both while he gets some snacks and tea ready—he's also more than happy to listen to them babble on excitedly about things they like or any special interests they have.

Which it's also worth noting that he is genuinely amazed at hearing them go on and on about their special interest(s). Like they know so much! He asks them questions about it, loving how much they light up at the opportunity to share what they know. Offhand comments that he makes while listening to them, such as my baby's so smart, huh? hit different when they've had people in the past say otherwise about their (allegedly nonsensical) rambling. Rappa picks up on the way they falter after hearing that sort of praise, the quiet "are you sure?"s making him decide that they are going hear it more often if he has any say about it. He's so proud that they know so much and are so passionate, and believe they should be too.

Overall very protective of his little one! Nobody better say anything that hurts their feelings, or they'll have him to answer to. He's literally the perfect cg to have if they happen to start slipping in public too, or even just around someone else who might not know about regression. Because who is going to say anything negative to them about acting like a baby when they've got Rappa right there holding their hand? It wouldn't be a wise decision, to put it lightly. He's there to fight back against both their own negative thoughts and negative people for them.

[0tivez]

gojo would be like kris jenner with the "youre doing amazing sweetie" and like regina George's mom dancing while recording. I love dad!gojo hcs so much, I have a bunch of random ones for him

no bc I forgot I had watched it and then I read your response and audibly groaned 😭 I just, I cant I have this specific moment that just did it for me but its a spoiler and a tw bc it mentions dark themes?? I don't know if I should write the word or if youre comfy with it. that scene just, it reminded me of the video of he loaf of bread that just falls and its like a dead plop sound?? the Tokyo revengers equivalent

My cousin told me the story is absolute bs, and im paraphrasing bc she genuinely despised it, so ig im just watching it yeah I don't know, op is cool and thats the highlight of each episode. I like the character design although they give me riverdale vibes bc they don't look 14/15 and that just, its like shellshock to me

sometimes I miss my queen era ngl :/ simpler times. I went to watch the movie 3 times I think, and all my opinions were so biased LMFAO actually, I went to watch that movie for my first date! the guy was really sweet, we were classmates, but then he gave me the ick lol

the weeb representation had a glow up 😌👊 im glad people are more accepting of other people's interests. tho if I have to be honest, where im from people still look down on anime/manga enjoyers; enjoyers of any sort of media/interest that doesn't adhere to society's norms tbh lol am I gonna start ugly ranting now?? TT

THEY DONT KNOW THAT YET LMFAO Im glad to hear that your dad and his friend enjoy aot :D I hope you have fun rewatching it!! im forever stuck on s2 💀 though now that you mention aot, what are your thoughts on erenmika existing?? I have mixed thoughts?? I don't know enough to form a true argument based opinion but Im kinda meh about it :,)

I never heard of enneagrams before :O I feel like maybe Aki could develop a soft spot for Megumi. I KNOW SHIT ABOUT KNY BUT I LOVE TANJIRO HES ADORABLE TT

Im so excited to listen to Gojo's va do the dialogue when he's talking to Kenjaku before he's boxed!!!! AAAA I just need it. but to be fair, whenever I read gojo (be it manga or fics) I give him a more high pitched voice?? I don't know its weird :p

I wish voice acting would be more appreciated. I don't think a lot of people I know consider it to be 'that big of a deal' but its so cool and everyone is missing out im gonna drop kick everyone idc.

gege probably reads "gojo angst, hurt/no-comfort, major character death" tagged works. he most def knows how much people like stsg and thats why he makes us suffer. convinced this man wants to watch the world burn

I just remembered I had a convo with a friend about Gojo's character and I almost burst into a crying fit bc I didn't like how they perceived my bf his character LMFAO that day I learned im not exactly tolerant of some opinions, and thats fine. I accept it myself; self love

ill smack as many bitches as you need 😌👊 ill be your personal bitch smacker <3 convinced college is a hell simulator by now 😭 but you've got this! <3

I think its stupid for people to expect teenagers to decide what they wanna study as soon as they finish school; specially bc a lot of schools don't offer any guidance at all whatsoever, and when they do, its always Half assed. I'd get better help from a buzzfeed quiz that tells me my ideal career based on my fave chair design istg. ill think about the comms, applications close the 24th of march so I still have a few days to think ig.

growing up I always wanted to open a bakery so maybe ill end up doing that at some point in my life 🤷‍♀️ I think as of lately, im learning that college really isn't everything and there are so many twists and turns in life that anything could happen. It makes me a little more relaxed to think that no matter what ill be okay! ya know??

THANK YOU SO MUCH YOURE GONNA MAKE ME CRY 😭 I worked really hard on it and im glad people are enjoying it! I have a few wips planned out but im so fucking lazy TT yesterday I wrote a bunch of ideas for a nanami thing im working on; his character is so hard to write imo and that kills me inside. I've never seen many college aus for him so I wanted to try writing one, and this bitch, I feel its so ooc im gonna scream. ANYWAY, i went on a bit of a rant there, but thank you so much! your words mean the world to me; im squealing right now 😭 I also had the chance to read your geto fic and Jesus fucking christ, all I can say is that youre an amazing writer and that im a whor-!

I hope youre having a good one! mwah! :*

also, I read wet kisses instead of the coherent last sentence you wrote and I screamed LMFAO

-🥳 anon

dad!gojo fills me with so much joy lord

the loaf?? slkmcfsdlemfw i'm a bit lost but that bread video kills me every time. what's the word?? i won't get triggered, if it's trigerring i can send it i'm so curious now

yeah s1 is pretty... bad? i heard that the manga was better but it's kinda going down hill too. i should continue reading it ig at least for the hot guys i keep seeing

AAH YES i met this really cute guy bc of queen it's kinda wild. i ALMOST had a crush on him llkwmscflsmdef which is a very rare occurrence but he graduated before i could develop feelings. and omg this is actually pretty wild. my uni is in the same city as his and he was like "we can go out together sometime" and i was like yeah!! it's a pretty long story and i was dumb like DUMB dumb but anyways he said "remind me and we'll arrange it" which i found weird but agreed. i never reminded him lol

sorry that was very off topic lol

why did he give you the ick tho 🤨

i feel like it depends on physical appearance a lot. you know the stereotypical weeb. it's cool unless you look like them. wild. when i met that guy, i had 0 anime knowledge and one of those assholes that were like "why watch anime when REAL shows exist" KLMSALWKESDM he really liked naruto and i was like.... hmm....

oh how the turn tables

i should really forget this guy omg

i always found eremika very obvious. i was okay with it, but the last arc made it an incredible ship for me. i think lots of people forget that eren was an angsty 15 yo obsessed with war. of course he won't be into love shit. when does he realize his feelings for mikasa? after he learns the truth about the walls aka when he basically gives up on his ideals and focuses on saving his friends and fulfilling his duty. i mean, look at jean. he used to be all over mikasa at the start but when things get tough, he stops being all over her but lives his feelings inside. i mean, he dreams about having a family with mikasa, but he rarely shows affection towards her (except for the protective stuff). i think eremika could have been given more spotlight but it was very obvious it would be canon. i like their dynamics, wish we could see eren with his aaron yoghurt self a bit more lol

also, jeankasa SUCKS. my baby jean deserves to be the first choice. i think, MAYBE, eren might have mentioned mikasa during his speech with jean at the very end. tho never confirmed, i find it very plausible. ngl jean and pieck would be a bomb couple and i was so on board with it

i have no idea how enneagrams work either 😭 megumi is a sweetheart in his core so yeah aki would absolutely have a soft spot for him. he would be a big brother 🥺

tanjiro is the best boy in existence and lo and behold, i call that the natsuki hanae effect KJNWASKAEF again with the va's. he always voices the cutest characters: falco, ken kaneki, tanjiro lol

i'm avoiding that convo as much as possible. the "yo satoru" LKMWQALDKM i keep stumbling upon geto and gojo calling each other from jjk0 and it breaks my heart so much. gojo saying suguru in a concerned but determined tone and geto saying satoru with so much love 😭😭😭😭 i want to watch it so much

yeah especially japanese voice acting. i keep seeing clips comparing dub and sub and as much as dub is good, it's nowhere near sub. i wish hollywood, the largest film industry, would cherish it as much as japan does. japanese va's receive special training from special schools and america casts..... chris pratt

i don't even understand why dub isn't good. death note's dub was fucking god tier. american cartoons also have incredible voice acting WHY is the dub like that 😭 with all due respect, of course

wlkdsmalkwef no bc i mostly see japanese fics with gojo/megumi and gojo/itadori so imagine gege visits ao3 and keeps seeing gojo being shipped with children 😭

i feel like stsg hurts gege too lkMSLKFEWMS it HAS to be something more than hurting gojo at this point, he's torturing them AND us </3

nah not all opinions matter. periodt. LMWSDLFM jk (not really) what did they say tho?? i also keep seeing shit takes on gojo's characters

well, in my country, you have to choose something in 10th grade so you can prepare properly in 11th grade. bullshit

aah that's esciting! tell me what you decide on :) i'm also gonna apply for a summer school program abroad. it's just 4 days but it's in ireland and about disabilities law. i don't really think i will get in tbh but it's worth the try

uuu bakery au 😼 make sure to keep an eye out for a 183m blonde man with a rolex and IMMIDEATLY give him my number 😌

i was JUST gonna say i'm on my nanami phase lmdklamwsf PLEASE write it!!!! i can't believe nanami is the only character who canonically went to college and the character with the least college fics 😭 i've also never thought about it tbh so yours would be sooo goood!!! will it be angsty again?

aah please you deserve all the praises!!

omg staaahp you're making me blush 😼 thank youu tbh i don't really like that fic lol maybe i can polish it a little one day

have a wonderful week :* wet slurpy kisses 😼

[estrxlar]

The Ghost Of You

19 - Clean Canvas

This chapters songs:

Here She Comes; Slowdive

Dog Cuddles; Dad Sports

Dream Girl; Crisaunt

- Y. L. Perspective

I tapped my chin with the pen, frustrated that you weren't able to come up with anything. "Ah! Koshi, that hurt!" I yell at him as he softens his hands upon my shoulders. He was giving me a gentle back massage while I tried writing my first lyrics, but I was struggling to find the right words to say.

"Sorry!" He then stops squeezing my shoulders, letting his hands slide down my torso, and pull me into a hug from behind. His head nuzzled into my neck as he spoke. "What is the song about?"

I shrug. "I don't even know yet. Maybe I should just write about how much of an untalented and wasteful girl I am!" I scoff, rolling my eyes back. Now, out of all moments, my feelings decide to disappear.

Both Koshi and I say criss-cross on his bed with one single lamp on in his room. His room was not at all what I was expecting. I'd perceived it to be much messier in my head, the way an average teenage boys' room would be. But no! It was spotless and quite basic. Still, I felt very comfortable in his arms as I attempted to write down some ideas. Feeling his heartbeat on my back was enough to make me feel at home.

"Why don't you write about us, Y/n?" He asks me as he pulls me back and forth in a sway motion. The suggestion had already popped into my mind before. But if I could write about it, what would I say? How I'm in love with someone who won't tie the knot between us?

'What am I doing at his house if he's not even my boyfriend? I've got to gain some self-respect.'

Perhaps bringing it up wouldn't be as bad as I thought. So, I pull myself away from his arms and sit in front of him, fully staring at his confused face.

"What is it?" His fair voice questions, one of his fingers attempting to fiddle with my oversized t-shirt.

There was so much to say. Why arent you my boyfriend yet? Why won't you tell me what's on your mind for once? Aren't you excited about the training camp? But I decide to pick the first question. "Koshi, what's there to write about? I...I know that we both like each other very much, but what does it matter if you won't call me your girlfriend?" I look down at the grey shorts I wore, afraid that he would be disappointed in me for wanting more from him.

"I didn't know you felt that way. I guess...I guess I just wanted you to feel comfortable around me, not forced to be with me," Koshi mutters under his breath, ashamed he underestimated my love for him.

"Well of course I want to be with you!" I exclaim, leaning my head onto his chest. It worries me that he felt insecure about his love. It wasn't as if he could be giving me too much affection. So why didn't he trust that I loved him?

I sigh while he rubs my back in a circular motion, wishing he would tell me things that bothered him like this. "So you wouldn't mind being my girlfriend, Y/n?" The man's words are clear to me when he said them, not lagged like all the other times.

I nod my head. "Of course not."

"Hm, okay. Then for our first memory of being a couple, I wanna hold you," Koshi says, laying us both down onto his mattress. He leans over me, stretching to grab one of the blankets on his shelf, and unfolding it over us.

"But it's so cold. Why don't we just go under your comforter?" I ask him, pulling slightly at the corner of the thick bed sheet. But he denies my request and pulls my wrist back.

He says, "Uh-Uh-Uh! I prefer it to be cold. When we go to your house, we can use the comforter. If you're that cold then you're gonna have to hug me tighter."

I'm surprised at how stubborn Koshi was being with me but glad he was becoming more comfortable with sharing his opinion. He treated me like a princess most of the time instead of asking for what he really wants. Even if it was just the matter of a blanket.

"Do you wanna help me try and think of something to write about?" I ask him in the most delicate voice.

"What's something that saddens you, Y/n? Something that you're worried will cause you despair towards the future?" Koshi asks me. I genuinely hadn't thought about it yet. "Love is more than just feelings. I think it comes with a lot of pain. Has there ever been any pain that you've encountered during being in love?"

"Not really." My words couldn't be more honest. With Toruku, I felt sick that I had a crush on my best friend's boyfriend. And when she passed, those feelings for him weren't nearly as strong as the ones I felt about her death. As for Koshi, I've only been scared of the pain. But I hadn't endured it yet. At least that was what I thought. Truth is that every lasting second I spent with him could only cause me more and more pain in the future. "Maybe when I find what to write about, I shouldn't tell you. I should let you figure it out when I'm done with it."

"Planning something behind my back?! How evil of you." Koshi jokes, leaning on one of his elbows to hold himself up as he looked at me. With the pale moonlight shining down on him and the lamp lighting the room up slightly, he looked more beautiful than ever. I was glad that I was the one to be able I witness such an ethereal moment with him. Especially since he held me in a special place. I was his first love, after all. That's more important than any relationship he could have had with previous girls.

Attempting to obtain reassurance, I grow curious and begin to play with my new boyfriend, asking small questions. "So...what does it feel like to have sex with a girl, Kou? I've never done that before... do they smell nice? Are they soft?" It was obvious that I'd caught him off guard, for he stuttered and looked at me strangely. "I promise I won't get jealous if you tell me. I only want to know what it's like. It may help me with writing if you tell me about passionate moments like that."

Given that I'd never done anything that was borderline sexual with anyone else, I was curious about how it felt. Both physically and mentally.

"Uhm—stressful. And I haven't done it as much as you might think, so I haven't ever enjoyed it." It comes to me as a shock that he didn't have a slightly good experience that he could tell me about.

"Wh-really?! But...I thought all guys liked it! You're saying it didn't even feel good?" I waft my hand into the cold air, confused.

"No, silly. Of course it felt good, but it wasn't as passionate as you think. I wasn't ever in love with any of those girls, so it only made me feel worse. Sex isn't good for those who aren't ready for it," he explains to me.

I nod, understanding a bit more of what he meant. "Does that mean you weren't ready?"

"Mhm. I wasn't," he says. Deciding to switch up the question, he asks me, "So, what is it like to have sex with a guy? I bet they aren't very good-smelling, are they?"

I blink a few times. "Uhm, I dunno," I say, growing shy at the question. "I haven't ever...you know...had sex."

Too scared to look at Koshi, I stuff my head into a pillow and sigh obnoxiously. Though I knew he wouldn't make that much of a big deal out of it, I didn't want him thinking I was a prude. A lot of people that knew I was a virgin made fun of me for it. Truth was, I'd never found someone worthy of taking my virginity. Many told me that it was horrible for your mental health, especially for younger people like me. Not to mention how scared I was that whoever took my virginity would be rough with me and it would hurt like hell.

"Hey, hey...don't get all embarrassed on me. A lot of people haven't. That's nothing to be ashamed about. Being a virgin doesn't make you any less of a woman. If it were up to me, I'd go back and stay a virgin until the right time," Koshi states. His attempts to cheer me up were sweet, but not working all that much.

"What do you think, Kou? Do you like me better that way? You know, as a virgin?" I ask him, slightly peeking up at his lost expression.

Yes, it was something very awkward to ask. But I did want to know what he preferred. Not that I would be able to change last second if he didn't like me as I was.

"Th—that isn't something I have power over, so I don't think about it. But...you could say I prefer it."

I'm happy with his answer. Still, I was curious about the reason, so I ask, "and why is that?"

"Well...um...I'm not too sure. Not to jump to any conclusions, but think it's because...if you weren't a virgin, then our first time together wouldn't be as memorable. It's sure is selfish of me to say, but I would rather you remember me as someone who shared that moment with you. That's why I wish I would have waited until I met you," Koshi began to grow flustered towards the end of his explanation.

"And if you wanna put it into a metaphor then you could say that being a virgin is like being a blank canvas. You can only hope that someone will make something lovely of you by the time they're finished."

I haven't ever heard someone describe being a virgin in such a beautiful way. And he was right— the first time is always something you remember. That is if it's enjoyable for you. I could only hope that I would lose my virginity to someone as gentle as him.

"Then when the time comes, could you please be that person, Koshi?" I spoke, laying a hand on his chest. My nervous nature was far too obvious for me to hide. But thankfully, Koshi didn't mind it. He knew asking something like that took courage. Such profound questions weren't something to joke about.

My heart race died down when I hear him tell me, "Of course, love."

Koshi quickly gets up to turn off the lamp and I make myself more comfortable under the thin blankets and many pillows he had on his bed. When he comes back, he wraps his arms around my waist and holds me close near him.

It was no wonder that he didn't like to talk about his previous experiences with girls. He hadn't enjoyed them. But I was sure of it: and day, I'll make it up to Koshi.

"Goodnight, love. Maybe tomorrow you'll come up with something to write about, hm?"

"Yeah, goodnight." With one last kiss on the cheek, Koshi and I doze off to sleep.

-

Hey everyone!! Just so you know, I have a special playlist on my Spotify that I made just for this fanfiction. I always add the songs that I include in the chapters, so please go check that out in case you'd like to listen while reading!!

I love you always!! Thank you for reading I do appreciate it <3 make sure to take care of yourself

AND PLS VOTE >:(

- estrxlar