#he pretty much has an entire show on the news channel where he actively pokes fun at serious issues and makes just generally unfunny jokes

[bugisbonkerz]

absolutely disgusting that when i was flipping through news channels, i was seeing Fox News was actively making jokes about palestine, and making fun of the protesters and their stories and protest signs. i’m used to seeing people disagreeing with palestine, but they were straight up making a mockery and a joke about the whole thing going on like it’s not even happening. this is ridiculous and we should not stand for it. fuck Fox News.

[anti-the-glitch-bitch]

Into the void

Chapter 2 

Word Count: 3,054

--------------

I am abruptly awakened by an annoying poking in my side. I groan a bit and try to slap the annoyance away. The poking in my side stops, but now there is a finger poking my cheek nonstop.

“Okay. I’m up. Just stop poking me with that infernal finger before I bite it off.” At that moment, maniacal laughter echoes in the closet. “Anti?” I’m still half asleep when I open my eyes. Beautiful blue eyes are looking straight into mine.

“Ha-ha. Still half asleep, are ya?” Sean chuckles as I scramble for my phone. My cheeks are on fire the moment I hear his cute Irish boi accent. After scrambling for what seems like hours, I finally manage to turn the video off. “Yeah, I guess I am. I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I must have been super tired from the flight.” I mumble as I try not to freak out again. Sitting up, I look over at Sean and realize he is sitting on the floor. He must have seen my confusion because he scoots back a bit. “I figured if I was sitting on the floor, ya might not throw another loaf of bread at me.”

“Mark is never going to let me live that down. When I die, it will read. Here lies Bri. She threw a loaf of bread at Sean’s face. Sorry about that, by the way. My body went into panic mode and decided to attack?” Sean just laughs at me and starts to stand up.

“Neither of us will. I wouldn’t be surprised if he makes a commemorative video and tells his fans about all of this. I’m just glad it was soft.” Sean smirks and holds a hand out to me. I hesitated very briefly before taking his hand. With a quick tug, Sean has me out of the closet and on my feet. Huh. Sean is a lot taller than I realized. I mean, I didn’t think he was super short, but I thought he was my height. I’m 5’7”, so I’m not exactly short either, but he seems to be about the same size as Mark.

I stretch for a minute, trying to work the kinks out from sleeping in the closet. Sean walks over to the door to give me a bit of space. Which I very much appreciate. I can’t hear the conniving bastard anywhere, and that makes me very concerned. That means he could be plotting my next humiliating moment.

“You know he did that on purpose, right?” My question seems to confuse him. He cocks his head slightly with a questioning look. “He knows I’m a spazz, so Mark waited to tell me you were gonna stay here, at the second, just to see what happened. Though I don’t think it went down exactly as he expected.” 

We stare at each other for a moment before we both start to laugh. It takes a few seconds for us to calm down. “That does sound like something he would do. He told me you were staying here for a while, but he didn’t warn me that I would have to watch out for flying objects!”

“Exactly! I’m sure he’s hiding somewhere plotting his next big prank.”

“I don’t think so? He told me he had to finish recording. I figured the least I could do was make your lunch since it looks like I interrupted the two of you. That’s why I came looking for ye.” Sean looks so adorable when he blushes. It’s only a slight tinge, but it stands out on his pale skin. It gives me some ideas for a prank or two in the future. “I don’t think I like the look on your face. That’s the kind of look that Mark has when he is up to something.” He backs into the hallway with his hands up as if I might attack him.

I give him an innocent smile as I follow him. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m just going to the kitchen.”

“Uh-huh. Yeah, we’ll just see about that.” We joke the entire way to the kitchen. My anxiety is all but forgotten. 

My eyes must be playing tricks on me because as Sean passes a mirror in the hallway, his reflection seems to flicker. For a second, it looks like Anti, green hair and all. Very strange because he hasn’t dyed his hair in forever. His hair is his natural brown color.

What in the actual fuck is going on with me today? It must be because I fell asleep watching those videos. I’m starting to doubt my sanity. I’ll have to lay off the Dark\Anti obsession for a while. Otherwise, someone might try to commit me to a nuthouse.

“Bri? You ok over there?” My head snaps to the kitchen, where Sean is standing by the island. I realize I’m just standing in front of the mirror. I take one last look into it, but all I see is me. “Um. Yeah. For a minute, I thought I saw….” I shake my head, realizing how crazy I would sound if I finished that sentence. “Nothing. Never mind.” I smile when I walk over and see a plate with a couple of sandwiches on it.

“If you’re sure.” He returns my smile and pushes the plate towards me. There is a flash of some emotion in his eyes before it disappears. Worry? Concern? I shrug it off and go rummage in the fridge for something to drink. Cans of Mountain Dew are sitting on the bottom level. Ah, my sweet addiction. Mark makes fun of me all the time because I usually have one with me. Yeah, it’s terrible to drink if as much as I do, but I really don’t care.

“So, any idea on how long Mark is gonna be holed up there?” I start digging into one of the sandwiches. Sean looks up from his phone and laughs. “How do you feel about being on camera?”

“What?”

“I said, how do you feel about being on camera?” Sean puts his hands on his hips, giving me a giant smile. “Um...Ok, I guess? Why?” I have no idea what’s going through his head, so I’m just going to roll with it.

“Great! Mark’s getting everything ready now, but in 20 minutes, all his fans are goin ta know we are staying here. You’re going to make your first appearance on the channel!” He is so enthusiastic about this that it’s hard to say no to him. “It’ll be great! All you’ll have to do is say hi. Mark probably won’t start recording until we get in the room. So, hurry up and eat. I’m goin ta see if Mark needs any help setting up.” He slaps my back and is practically bouncing as he leaves the kitchen. I watch the mirror as he walks past it, but nothing weird happens.

I really, really, really need to lay off those videos. They’re making me hallucinate. Either that or the flight messed me up more than I thought. I sigh and start thinking about this new development that Mark has thrown at me unexpectedly. I should have known Mark would have more than one trick up his sleeve. First, it was Sean, and now it’s getting me on camera. I really am going to murder him. Slowly. Like maybe Criminal Minds style. Munching on the sandwiches, I start scheming at ways to get back at Mark. I’m just finishing the second sandwich when my phone goes off.

Mark: Hey, you finished yet?

Bri: Just finished. Why?

Mark: We have everything set up. We’re just about ready for you to come in.

Bri: Give me 10 min. Let me brush my raggedy ass hair and maybe put on a new top.

Mark: Let me know when you’re done.

I put my plate in the sink and grab my drink. Rushing upstairs, I hear laughter coming from down the hall. It sounds like the guys are having fun. When I get to the guest bedroom, I immediately start looking in the duffel bag for my brush. It only takes a few seconds to find it. My hair is short, black with forest green highlights thrown in here and there. It doesn’t take very long to get it thrown up in a high ponytail.

Next, I rummage through the suitcases until I find my Loki shirt. I head to the bathroom to make sure I look semi-decent. The hairs on the back of my neck start standing up, and I get the creepy sensation that somebody is watching me. The mirror doesn’t show anything, but I look around me because I be paranoid like that. There’s really nothing in here with me, but the sensation only gets stronger.

“Back off, ya spooky bitch!” I sort of whisper/shout in the bathroom. I still can’t find anything here, but it never hurts to set boundaries, in case of, you know…. ghosts. That weird feeling fades away, and I feel like I can breathe again.

Well, that’s not terrifying at all. I check the mirror one last time, grab my drink, and head to Mark’s recording room. I can hear Sean’s voice but can’t make out what he is saying.

Bri: Yo. I’m outside the door.

Mark: Come on in.

“What’s happenin Cap’n?” I saunter into the room and see Mark and Sean sitting at the desk that’s along the far wall. They both turn to look at me with a slight smirk. There is an extra chair by Mark that I head towards.

“Hey, guys!! I know you thought Sean was the surprise guest, and he is, but I have someone else I want to introduce you to. This is my best friend, Bri. We grew up in Cincinnati, and she has finally decided to come for a visit.: Mark laughs into the camera as I give him a push.

“Hardy har har. It’s not my fault you moved so far away, you little shit. Keep it up, and I’ll start posting pics. You thought the Septiplier ship had sailed before? It’ll be 20 times worse once I send these bad boys out into the world.” Mark starts groaning while Sean holds his hands up.

“Whoa. Whoa. Hold it there. Don’t bring me into the equation. I didn’t do anything. I’m pretty sure that ship doesn’t need any more references.” We giggle, and I start looking at the screens in front of me.

One monitor has a bunch of technical stuff up along with a box showing the three of us. Another screen has a chatbox that seems to be really active. Comments are flying by so fast that it’s tough to read, though one reoccurring word catches my eye. Checking my phone really quickly, my suspicion is confirmed. “Hey, so I have a question I need to ask everyone watching.” I stand and get behind Mark. I place my hands on his shoulders and start squeezing. Not enough to hurt but enough for me to feel him tense a little. “How mad would y’all be if I murdered our Markimoo here? I was under the impression I would be on a video, not walking into a Live stream.” 

I give Sean a smirk that instantly puts him on guard.” Neither did Sean. I’m thinking that they might need to beg for forgiveness.”

“He told me not to tell you!!” Sean instantly points his finger at Mark while laughing. “I’m too adorable to be murdered, plus I was afraid if I told you, you wouldn’t show up, and then people would think I was crazy.” Mark leans his head back, giving me puppy dog eyes.

“Fineeeeeee. I won’t murder you, but you’ll have to make it up to me with a very incriminating picture. I’ll be taking the picture so I can post it later, and you won’t be able to delete it.” I ruffle the hair on his head as I get back to my seat. They both give a big dramatic groan. “Now, do you see why I wanted her to show up, though I am slightly regretting it.” His gestures get wilder the more animated he gets. It’s all I can do not to rub my hands together and cackle like a witch. 

The stream goes on like this for a few hours. The three of us crack jokes and play a few games together. I watch the chat and answer the questions I can catch. Sometimes they are about me, but a lot are about Mark and Sean. Most of those are just about wanting a shout-out from the guys.

It’s about 6 pm when I finally have to call it quits. Even with the nap I had, I was tired. “Alright, everyone, I enjoyed being here with you guys, far more than I thought I would, but I’m outta here. It was my first time going across the country, and my body is yelling at me for it.” I wave my hand at the camera and try to suppress a yawn. Mark and Sean make cute little pouts and give a fake sigh. “Aww, well, if you must. Everyone give Bri a round of applause. She is a natural in front of the camera. I might even have her join in some of my other videos.”

I take a bow and walk sluggishly towards the door. As I open the door, I feel a hand gently lay itself on my shoulder. I throw an elbow back, thinking it’s Mark, but I don’t make contact with anything. I quickly turn around and make karate-chopping motions, but no one is near me. The guys are still at the desk. Sean looks back at me and starts laughing. “What the fuck are ya doin? I thought you were leavin?”

I do a few more karate chops, just to be funny before I straighten up. “I’m pretty sure a spider tried to attack me; I’m showing it who’s boss. I doubt it will ever try that again, now that it knows I have mad skills.” Mark and Sean laugh and go back to what they are doing. I continue on my way out, severely freaked out. Chica is lying just outside the door, and when she sees me come out, she starts wagging her tail.

“Who’s a good girl? That’s right, you are the bestest doggo in the world!” I love on her a bit and then pat my leg to get her to follow. “Come on, girl. Let’s go outside for a bit. This house is being a spoopy bitch, and I don’t like being inside a horror game.”

We make it outside without an incident. I immediately go flop in the grass on my stomach. I’ve been here less than 24 hours, and I’ve seen some weird shit in the house. I would chalk it all up to ghosts, but that doesn’t explain why I saw Anti in that mirror. I know I still haven’t been sleeping but a few hours here and there, but that shouldn’t make me see things, should it?

There is no way the egos are real. They’re just something Mark and Sean made up. I may like the concept of them, but there is no way I want to meet Anti or Dark for real. Chica comes over to me, trying to lick my face, causing me to laugh. “Alright, girl. Let’s go back into the spooky house because I need some sleep. If I can…” We go inside, and I go back to the guest room. I don’t even bother changing into my pj’s. I just flop into the bed, falling right to sleep.

The Darkness is alive.

My heart is in my throat as I jerk awake. The dreams are all a blur, but I vaguely remember the Darkness trying to hurt me. The bedroom is pitch black, and I struggle to find my phone on the side table. After searching for what seems like hours, I finally find it and check the time. It’s only 3 am, way too early to be up. 

I can’t sleep anymore, so I get up to get a drink. Not sure if it’s remnant feelings from my dreams, but the darkness in the house feels alive. Almost suffocatingly so. I’m paranoid and jumpy as I walk to the kitchen. Grabbing a glass from the cabinet, I open the fridge and grab the milk. I really don’t need any sugar right now. After filling the glass, I put the milk back. That weird, creepy feeling is back, and I fucking hate it so much. I quickly close the fridge and turn around, punching the air in front of me.

“I don’t know what’s going on, but I came here to get away from my life for a bit. Whatever you are, I don’t care! I haven’t even been here a day, so you need to quite with the spooky shit before I lose my damn mind!” I accentuate that with a few karate chops wildly thrown around.

A deep chuckle seems to come from all around me, making me run for the hills. I leave the milk and make a beeline for the stairs. I grab a pillow and the blanket from my bed and run for Mark’s room. The Darkness pulses as if alive, making me a trip on the blanket. I quickly right myself and quietly enter Mark’s room.

Mark’s bed is high enough off the ground that I can throw the pillow under the bed. I wrap myself in the blanket and slide under the bed. Like a child that knows the monster in the dark is real, I make sure every part of me is covered, including my head. This wasn’t going to be a comfortable place to lay, but I wasn’t staying in my room while this spooky stuff is going on. I was so going to talk to Mark about this in the morning.

“It’s not real,” I mumble to myself over and over again. Every once in a while, I throw in a “Leave me alone.” It feels like forever before everything starts to feel normal again, and I can fall back asleep. 

A precious, dreamless sleep.

[thecloserkin]

book review: Mira Grant, Feed (2010)

Genre: Sci-Fi

Is it the main pairing: Yes

Is it canon: No

Is it explicit: No

Is it endgame: Yes

Is it shippable: Hell to the yes

Bottom line: Creepily Codependent Siblings Survive the Zombie Apocalypse! They are adopted but the way they refer to each other as “my brother” and “my sister” when they could have used given names instead? I am here for it. While tight plotting is not one of this book’s strengths, you should slog through the infodumps to the ending which packs one hydrogen bomb of an emotional wallop.

This is the first book in the “Newsflash” trilogy about a pair of journalists, Georgia and Shaun Mason, who begin by blogging out of their parents’ basement and end by uncovering a vast governmental conspiracy subtended by various alphabet-soup agencies. The zombie apocalypse itself happened 23 years ago, and it happened the way these things invariably happen: Scientists try to cure cancer/the common cold, unleash freak virus on humanity, cue end of the world as we know it. Georgia and Shaun are the paradigmic products of this remade world: They, like many children born in and around the chaos of the outbreak, were orphans. On their adoption papers their birthdays are given as the same day—an arbitrary made-up date, but it makes them twins even if George is def a few months older. She acts older too, acting as the business brains of their fledgling journalistic operation while Shaun’s job is to “poke dead things with sticks” and look good while doing it. There is a performative aspect to Shaun’s mugging for the camera and flirting with anything in a skirt. He’s doing it because outrageous behavior garners them more hits, obviously, but he’s also doing it for George who gets a kick out of watching him charm the pants off people. She is bemused but not remotely threatened. George is all-business all the time, emotionally guarded and wary of physical contact, and one time when someone tried to hug her Shaun smoothly stepped up to intercept the hug to spare her the discomfort of enduring it. I SCREAMED. Note that George doesn’t mind being touched if it’s Shaun doing it:

I shuddered. Shaun caught the gesture and put a hand at the small of my back, steadying me. I flashed him a smile.

Shaun put a hand on my knee, steadying me, and I covered it with my own.

These small moments of tenderness punctuate an endearingly banterful sibling rapport. This is them reacting to the news of their big break—they’ve been tapped to cover the presidential campaign of an idealistic Wyoming senator:

Shaun was sure we’d get it. I was sure we wouldn’t. Now, staring at the monitor, Shaun said, “George?” “Yeah?” “You owe me twenty bucks.”

This is George shooing Shaun out of her room so she can change her clothes:

I pointed to the door. “Get out. There’s about to be nudity, and you’ll just complicate things.” “Finally, adult content! Should I turn the webcams on?”

This is big sister Georgia mocking Shaun for his youthful indiscretions:

”Remember how pissed you got when we had to do all that reading about the Rising back in sixth grade? I thought you were going to get us both expelled.”

In conclusion I love them sfm they are perfect.

As an aside, the people tagging this book “horror” on Goodreads have either not read the book (which is legit, TBR piles are a thing) or don’t understand what horror is? It’s like they saw the word “zombies” and just auto-completed the genre. What defines horror is not blood, gore, or violence but the fear and loss of agency engendered by that violence. That’s why so many horror film protagonists are women, who experience loss of agency in large and small ways on a daily basis and must learn to survive in the face of it; it’s cathartic to watch them take back control. The point of this digression is that THIS IS NOT A HORROR NOVEL. It’s not about that kind of fear!!! This is a political thriller so buckle in kids we’re going for a ride.

Twenty-three years ago during the outbreak, Georgia and Shaun’s parents lost their eight-year-old biological son. He was bitten by the neighbors’ dog. This was before it was widely understood that the virus could jump between mammalian species, and that anything surpassing the 40 pound threshold was susceptible to its effects. The dog weighed over 40 pounds. The Masons, who were award-winning reporters in their own right, dealt with their grief by channeling their emotional resources into chasing the news ratings. They continued to be phenomenally successful journalists as well as shitty parents to Shaun and Georgia, whom they seem to have adopted entirely for publicity purposes. The narrative invites us to draw the comparison between George and Shaun, who have chosen to pursue this career out of a thirst for THE TRUTH, and their parents who have less lofty motivations. Not to put too fine a point on it but their parents are mercenary motherfuckers. These kids survived their childhood by building an emotional bunker that they never learned to climb out of. This line from the very first chapter is so telling because they’re out in the field and Shaun is being chased by a zombie right?:

I screamed, images of my inevitable future as an only child filling my mind.

When Shaun’s in mortal peril, Georgia doesn’t think of him as “the center of my universe”— which he is—she thinks of the void that would result in the loss of her brother. That’s how they fit together, that’s what they are to each other, and all the other stuff is layered on top of the shared trauma of their childhood. Ffs they even have a ritual for administering each other’s blood tests—you know that thing at wedding toasts where the bride and groom loop their arms together and tip the champagne flute into the other’s mouth? Like that:

Moving with synchronicity born of long practice, we broke the biohazard seals and popped the plastic lids off our testing units

So the protocol for taking blood tests, which everyone has to do all day long to prove they’re not infected, is to come into the foyer/antechamber/vestibule one at a time and once you test clean you proceed into the building while the next person cycles into the chamber. That way, if anyone is found to be infected, they can be isolated. Georgia and Shaun have never once complied with this rule:

Our next-door-neighbor used to call Child Protective Services every six months because our folks wouldn’t stop us from coming in together. But what’s the point of life if you can’t take risks now and then, like coming into the damn house with your brother?

Implying that if one of them ever got bitten by a zombie the other one would rather spend the rest of their short life trapped in a garage with the shambling corpse of their sibling than die in their sleep at a ripe old age. Talk about ride or die.

I said before that this presidential campaign, this is their big break as much as it is the candidate’s. Up till now George and Shaun have been blogging under the umbrella of news aggregation entities (sort of like how BuzzFeed and HuffPost and Medium are populated by user-generated content that isn’t necessarily making the content creator an appreciable pile of money), but now they’ve finally landed the story that will let them strike out on their own. One of the sharpest things about this book is how it depicts journalism as a job, and a tough one to do right. Nashville does the same thing for the music industry, and as over-the-top as that show is, it shows you the nuts and bolts of success in a profession where practitioners are supposedly driven by “passion” alone. Here the distribution of labor is skewed pretty heavily towards George:

I get the administrative junk that Shaun’s too much of a jerk and Buffy’s too much of a flake to deal with.

Buffy is their business partner and some kind of auteur hacker + tech whiz. Shaun is the public face of their media brand. But make no mistake, George is the heart and soul and brains of this operation. You see her business acumen in drive-by observations like “Replacing that much equipment would kill our operating budget for months,” or when she talks about i n s u r a n c e. And George talks about insurance a lot. She mentions how a certain camera covered in zombie body fluids is an insurance write-off, how being present in designated high-risk zones during certain times of day can triple your insurance premium, how a certain treatment for her chronic vision condition isn’t covered by health insurance. I … just wanna point out that the human race has survived a flippin’ zombie apocalypse, but the United States remains wedded to private for-profit health insurance where who and what are “covered” remains a game of Russian roulette?!! Whoever said it was “easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism” was onto something. This society is functioning cohesively enough that elections are a thing (thus, nation-states are still a thing). If you want to tell me our fragmented, inefficient, fee-for service model of paying for medical care that routinely bankrupts & kills our citizens has weathered the end of civlization and emerged intact from its ashes, you better look me dead in the eye and bring receipts.

What’s really impressive about Georgia is she’ll rattle off exactly what kind of activities (those forbidden by her journalistic licensing) will invalidate her life insurance if she’s stupid enough to get killed while doing them. From which I surmise that she and Shaun are both covered by pretty hefty policies of which they are each other’s sole beneficiary. Which makes sense, they’re in a dangerous line of work, but I feel like it’s a poor investment since whoever was left behind would be doing their damnedest to climb into the grave next to their sibling lol.

Another little requirement of the household insurance—since we leave safe zones all the time in order to do our jobs, we have to be able to prove we’ve been properly sterilized, and that means logged computer verification of our sterilizations.

George is talking about the AI that is apparently located in her showerhead that douses her with a bleach & antiseptic compound when she comes back from being in the field?? That sounds painful but what concerns me is the breathtaking scope of the Internet of Things’ penetration into her life. The AI is in the bathroom. It knows exactly where she’s been bc ofc her GPS location can be tracked via her phone, and it’s merrily sending packets of information off to …. somewhere, where it will doubtless be aggregated with all the data collected about George from other sources, and combed for patterns to predict future behavior. That’s how surveillance capitalism works. if this sounds chillingly familiar it’s because it’s already happening, it’s what the tech giants are already doing—gobbling up as much data about as many people in as many contexts as possible—and leveraging that data for profit. Privacy is a joke. George is not unaware of this, but what choice does she have? It’s either install the damn AI in her showerhead or get her parents’ homeowners’ insurance policy cancelled for being too “high risk.”

I want to circle back to George’s chronic medical condition for a sec. She’s got a disability—what’s a called a “reservoir condition” where the virus takes up residence in a body organ, in her case the retina—meaning essentially that she has zombie vision; she can see ridiculously well in low light situations but direct sunlight will blind her. She has to wear shades even indoors and is literally incapable of crying since her tear ducts are inoperative. So there’s a testy situation where a federal agent tries to get her to take off her sunglasses so he can verify her identity with a retinal scan right? And because they’re standing outside this is obviously a recipe for permanent blindness, quite aside from the fact you wouldn’t be able to get a valid scan anyway due to the virus over-dilating George pupils. But instead of checking George’s files, where her disability & its effects are prominently listed, this grunt insists on making her remove her glasses because Procedure. It’s a pretty tense moment. Shaun goes ballistic. He doesn’t physically threaten the dude, or insult his mom or anything. No, Shaun understands that he needs to make this pencil-pusher more afraid of the consequences of taking George’s glasses than of Not Following Procedure. And it works. YEET.

On the campaign trail the Senator’s aides arrange for sex-segregated hotel rooms but Shaun and George are having none of it:

On the few occasions when I’ve tried sleeping without Shaun in the next room, well, let’s just say that I can go a long way on a six-pack of Coke.

The ostensible reason the sleeping arrangements need to be reshuffled is, Buffy can’t sleep without a nightlight and George’s eyes can’t tolerate a nightlight. Clearly the real reason is George and Shaun are c l i n g y and codependent as FUCK. One night after a zombie attack and the long grueling hours of cleanup/decontamination that followed it, they actually climb into the same bed—I guess this room only had a double instead of two singles?? The scene the next morning, the two of them having predictably overslept:

“Fuck a duck, Buffy, what are you trying to do, blind her?” … Shaun, clad only in his boxer shorts, staring at an unrepentant Buffy.

So Shaun’s beef with Buffy is not that she barged in on them while they were asleep & half-naked but that she opened the curtains, thereby triggering a painful migraine for George’s sensitive eyes. Buffy explains she didn’t shake them awake because they both sleep armed, lmao. George’s disability and Shaun’s practiced ability to help her maneuver around it (like a trusty prosthetic, he’s an extension of herself) serves to highlight how in this partnership they are one unit and they know each other inside out. This is them after their close shave with the dunce who tried to take George’s glasses:

“Fuck you, too,” I muttered as Shaun got his arm around me and hoisted me away from the barn. “You kiss our mother with that mouth?” “Our mother and you both, dickhead. Give me my sunglasses.”

And this is George waking up in their hotel room, eyes squeezed shut against the glare of multiple computer screens:

He touched my hand with the tips of his fingers before he pressed my sunglasses against my palm.

This is absurdly, spine-tinglingly intimate. First he touches her hand with the tip of his fingers, the most fleeting of touches to let her know it’s him, and then he presses the glasses into her palm to restore her agency so she can, you know, open her eyes. And that earlier scene with him guiding her by the elbow in broad daylight!!! I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING

Sometimes I can hardly believe that George and Shaun are twenty-three years old. When I was twenty-three I … was not adulting half so well as these kids. But then, giving their barbarous upbringing, that’s not surprising; my parents loved and nurtured me. When I look at George and Shaun and the successful business they’ve built and the professional relationships they’ve cultivated and their expertise and their bravery I just feel this proud parental glow you know?

I want to say a word about Senator Ryman before we move onto spoiler territory. There’s a big controversy initially about whether the Senator is “genuine” or not (spoiler alert: he is). But what does that even mean, genuine? He’s a good egg, sure, but what are his policies, none of which are explored in depth except his support for horse farms??? I’m not kidding. In a world where any animal weighing over 40 pounds is a zombie outbreak waiting to happen, it’s a controversial position to say people should be able to keep pets in residential zones. Here is how George describes our Candidate:

He’s like a big, friendly Boy Scout who just woke up one day and decided to become the President of the United States of America.

I see two major problems with this: One, they say “Personnel is Policy” so who the hell is he planning to appoint to key Cabinet positions and can he trust them to pursue rather than undermine his objectives (and does he even have a deep enough bench of people to draw on)? Two, the Boy Scouts of America are not exactly, er, unproblematic, and while it’s safe to say our faves are always problematic, I think “Boy Scout” is shorthand here for “no skeletons in his closet,” which again puts the focus squarely on his personal qualities rather than what policies he espouses. It’s great that he hasn’t cheated on his wife or his taxes. But morality and ethics are not the same thing:

Morals are how you treat people you know. Ethics are how you treat people you don’t know. Your morality is what makes you a good spouse/friend … Your ethics are what makes you a good politician … Morality dictates that you take care of your family, friends and even acquaintances first … For a large society—a society where you can’t know everyone—to work, ethics must come before morality, or ethics and morality must have a great deal of overlap. By acting morally, you must be able to act ethically.

I think we can all agree that this does not describe how our society is currently constituted, and it doesn’t describe George and Shaun’s America either. So this narrow fixation on whether individual candidates are “genuine” or corrupt imo kinda misses the point. George says:

I haven’t even been able to find proof that his campaign received funding from the tobacco companies, and everyone’s campaign receives funding from the tobacco companies.

I don’t want to undersell how important it is the guy is not taking tobacco money. But is he also eschewing Wall Street money, Big Pharma money, defense contractor money? How could George possibly have time to investigate all this dark money if she is supposed to be covering the actual campaign? Seems like it would be a lot easier to reform the campaign finance laws than to vet every single single candidate’s funding sources.

I think one reason the Senator is long on identity & personal charisma and short on policy is that he’s up against an opponent whose base of support is millenarian-fundamentalist “the Rapture is here, we’re all going to hell”:

it was either Ryman’s brand of “we should all get along while we’re here,” or Tate’s hellfire and damnation.

If that is the main faultline in society, I guess half the voters don’t really wanna hear how a given politician is planning to make a material difference in their lives, since they’ve already got eyes on the prize aka the next life.

So there you have it. George and Shaun are scrappy independent muckrakers digging for the truth. Time and again their allegiance to that holy grail overrides their concern for trivial aims like idk personal safety. There’s a vast, shady conspiracy afoot, and as our heroes get closer to it they start getting shot at. They lose comrades. None of this deters them because they are after THE TRUTH. Oh wait there is in fact one thing George values more than the truth:

”You’re more interested in your brother than figuring out the truth?” “Shaun’s the only thing that concerns me more than the truth does.”

And later:

The sight of him was enough to make my heart beat faster and my throat get tight. I knew he was wearing Kevlar underneath his clothes, but Kevlar wouldn’t protect him from a headshot.

Her first concern is always, always, for him.

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

George gets infected. That’s the denouement. George is infected and Shaun has to shoot her before she turns all the way. Every single person who makes it to this scene is just bawling by the end of it:

His lips brushed the top of my head as he bent forward and pressed them to my hair. I wanted to yell at him to get away from me, but I didn’t. The barrel of the gun remained a cool, constant pressure on the back of my neck. When I turned, when I stopped being me, he would end it. He loved me enough to end it. Has any girl ever been luckier than I am?

The reassuring pressure of the gun on the base of her neck??? Has there been a more romantic moment in cinematic history??? I THINK NOT. Shaun is a crack shot—he’s the kind of guy who caresses his guns, names them after pretty women, causes his sister to grouse about digging through a suitcaseful of his weaponry to find her clothes—and yet here he is using his gun to kill the woman he loves most in the world.

It was supposed to be Shaun. They both took it as a given that Shaun would be the one to die first. Now he has to find a reason to continue living other than the obvious (vengeance). Stay tuned for the next installment, narrated by Shaun!

[smollandtoll]

HC: Crosbeauty AU OT3

Listen, we know we’ve done a Crosbeauty AU before, but this one has OT3 so it’s totally different. Right? right! LET’S GO! 

This HC was a lot of general ideas and moments so I did my best to make a plot out of it? 

Imagine if you will, young Sid attending school for stage makeup in Toronto. He spends the majority of his money at Sephora and on rent for a tiny downtown apartment that he splits with Flower. Living the dream!

(Sid and Flower originally met in first year while doing their tech theatre practical courses -  Flower couldn’t make a makeup bruise look semi-realistic to save his life and Sid couldn’t get his legs to stop wobbling long enough to climb the scaffolding to change the gels - so they traded favours all semester.)

Whatever is left over goes to food or camera equipment. Although it hasn’t been bad at all lately, his youtube subs have been climbing steadily, past the point of making a little side money and into the area where he is shakily not doing any work other than school and making/editing his videos.

(It helps to have a CBC darling hanging around their apartment and willing to be in his videos as a model as often as he wants. Tanger is such an attention whore, and only gets to wear full suits on the period piece he stars in - so any chance he can get to be seen in his chic clothing and any excuse he comes across to look beautiful is one he jumps at)

In any case the story really begins while Sid is WATCHING his usual youtube roll in the morning - friends, acquaintances, people he’s a fan of, whatever strikes his fancy. It’s then that he sees that Anna - a Russian beauty vlogger in her own right -  has updated her channel with a new personal video: THE BOYFRIEND TAG.

Sid is stoked because the video looks like it’s in English - not all of Anna’s are which forces him to use youtube’s dodgy translation closed captions OR just leave emojis in the comments. He also has been kind of dying to see who could possibly get to date Anna, she’s absolutely impossibly beautiful, and funny, and kind of evil. They’ve chatted online before (exchanging tips and giving each other compliments) and her boyfriend - Evgeni (a name in which Sid is unsure he even knows how to pronounce properly) always sounds like a very kind and generous man.

The thumbnail just has the title and a pair of clasped male and female hands so Sid’s interest is instantly PIQUED. He has been so curious about Evgeni and now FINALLY he gets to see.

So of course he loads up the video and does what everyone does and skips to the part where Geno actually comes in and sits down looking flushed and awkward, hat on backwards, waving stiltedly to the camera while Anna positions him exactly how she wants him in the frame. Sid thinks he’s beautiful - not in a traditional way but he looks kind, and has a mobile face, made for emotions. He doesn’t look chiseled or like an instagram model, he looks like a real person who loves Anna very much - enough to appear on a video for the world to see even if he seems a little uncomfortable with the idea. Sid guiltily scrolls into the comments to take the general temperature of the reactions to her boyfriend and find the predictable mishmash of supportive comments Anna has liked and trolls - pretending to be helpful or no - telling Anna she could definitely do better.

Sid would restart the video and watch it properly then, learning Evgeni has a warm voice, heavily accented, and often forgets words in english and looks to Anna with puppy dog eyes to aid him. They seem to have a lot of inside jokes, they seem in love. Sid thinks they are wonderful and probably hopes reverently that one day he might have something like what they’ve created together.

So anyway he definitely sends her a heart eyes emoji and then follows it up with another message: “.......OK UR MAN THO 👀.”

Much later he gets a reply from Anna that is a long string of blushy emojis and the simple:

“You like? He like your video. Always ask if watching ‘boy with mouth for sin’. 😜”

Sid: Am I being invited to a 3way on a different continent?

Flower: I deal with the amount of shit you have in our bathroom I'm not dealing with whatever the fuck that is.

(Flower is a liar though, that shit in the bathroom is half the reason Vero puts up with him sometimes. Sid always lets her pillage whatever she needs when she stays over last minute - also his ring light is A+++.)

Meanwhile Anna is telling Sid about how she could never get G to do a lip exfoliant and apply chapstick regularly but she showed Sid's video to him and then he was like RELIGIOUS WITH HIS BLISTEX. All mouth activities have gotten like 500% better.

Anna: we owe you at least bj.

Sid: I’m definitely getting hit on.

Anna: you also teach him how to style hair, his same as you, but very thin in spots

Sid: oh, I have tips for that!

And then they definitely all meet at vidcon. Girls are like SWOONING over Tanger of course. He and Sid are sharing a booth (how does vidcon work? I’m not doing research for this, I’m going to pretend it’s like every other convention and popular makers have booths to sell merch and meet people???)  and Flower is there to like get food and water for them, take photos and some video, and awkwardly wave at people who recognize him from the background of some of Sid's videos.

(usually he shows up as just his disembodied voice yelling in french about whatever he's just burnt and Sid freezing on camera and being like "...................................FLOWER." and Flower's voice just like "....shit sorry Sid!" - youtube commenters who speak french relish in translating what he’s saying in the comments, a particular fan favourite was the time he tried to make a chocolate souffle for Vero’s birthday and could be heard muttering on and off through the whole video, so much so Sid added a disclaimer at the beginning that his roommate was being very loud and worried about his girlfriend and that the viewers should all take pity on him)

So, anyway we’re sure Anna SWANS over, just all intensely long legs, super high heels, hair flowing EVERYWHERE looking like she just came off a runway or a movie set to just EMBRACE Sid in a cloud of delicate perfume and soft hair and cheek kisses. Sid of course freezes like a deer in the headlights while Anna greets him excitedly and apologizes for her shitty english that is sounding like ….pretty great to Sid.

It’s then that Sid notices she’s towing a mildly blushing (and plushy lipped) Geno by the wrist. He’s incredibly tall (although some of it might just be an optical illusion enhanced by his long thin limbs) and looking a little freaked out by the crowd - but when Sid catches his gaze he looks happy and hopeful and maybe a little surprised.

"Oh you're the boyfriend." "I'm big fan." THEY SAY AT ONCE PROBABLY.

Anna: Sid, Zhenya. Zhenya, Sid. (introducing them like she hadn’t just met Sid herself a moment ago) Boys are going to get along so well, can just tell.

Then, so much blushing.

We want Flower and Tanger knowing SOMETHING was going on but not exactly what...just watching with dawning beautiful comprehension, eyes pinging back and forth between these statuesque russians and their clumsy awkward darling Sid.

Okay so at some point G and Sid are going to get left alone together, in a hotel room above the convention centre. Probably Sid’s, probably for a nap or something ridiculous like that, or maybe Anna just slips out to go get her curling wand, because while Sid has a lot of beauty products his hair is pretty much wash and wear.

Anyway, somehow Sid ends up giving G a once over with his kit. It probably comes up naturally, like while Geno was poking through his entire makeshift rig Sid set up in the best lighting of the room. Humming thoughtfully at the stacked palettes of eyeshadow, running curious fingers over the fluffiest brushes. Sid inquiring about Anna’s supplies, if Geno ever ends up in her makeup like this, if she’s ever pinned him down and dealt with his eyebrows (Sid guesses no by the state of them, even though the wild & natural look is in right now). Geno would mumble about how he doesn’t let her - she does crazy things, looking like a mermaid one afternoon or a frosty queen the next - he doesn’t want to look like that.

Sid: What do you want to look like?

Geno: *deep self conscious shrug that mostly only conveys that he’d probably like to look not like what he currently does*

And then before Sid can really think about it he’s offering to try, nothing outlandish, something basic, to highlight his warm eyes maybe, clean up the lines of his mobile mouth. Basically the Tanger special - scratch that, even less than Tanger, Tanger likes to look carved and flawless like a Kardashian.

There’s always a gentle intimacy about doing someone’s makeup, focusing intently on the features of their face, feeling the down on their cheeks against the heel of your hand, touching their hair for stability. They’re quiet together as Sid works, just the sweep of his brushes and the click of the compacts, a quiet instruction to look up or down, to pout and smush. Normally Sid talks through doing makeup on others, explaining to them or to his viewers what he’s doing, but this moment seems sacred somehow.

Through it all Geno’s eye contact doesn’t waver. It’s strangely, deeply intimate, and Sid tries to recall if it felt like this when he did Flower’s makeup before, his hapless guinea pig. Tanger was always on his phone, or instagramming the whole thing live and his attention was diverted, and Sid never felt this out of control even as he was the one holding the pencil against someone elses’ eyeball.  It’s an unwavering, magnetic kind of eye contact, and as Sid leans close and smudges under one eye with his thumb, other hand bracing the back of G's head/neck that’s when Anna probably returns and they spring apart like she’d just caught Sid giving her boyfriend a lap dance.

But after processing what she’s seeing she flings herself onto the bed excitedly: "YOU GET RID OF DARK CIRCLES? I ALWAYS TRY, HE NEVER LET! WHAT ARE YOU USING?"

He and Geno probably share a meaningful look before looking away shyly and that’s the start of a beautiful friendship, relationship, throuple or something. Anna being there breaks the tension, but there’s still something hovering in the air every time they hang out. It’s probably all very torrid at first, Sid talking to Anna on a level like friends but separately talking to Geno about other deeper things - worried it might be crossing a line, worried it’s already crossed the line long ago that he feels a lot of attraction for G - but like Anna is SO BEAUTIFUL. And Geno and Anna flirt around him all the time, even while Anna leans against him while they talk and Geno makes sweet, sincere eye contact and says startlingly vulnerable things.

Sid is confusion.

To Anna, it’s completely transparent exactly what’s happening. She’s completely in favour of making this twosome a full blown party. Sid is sweet and generous and quietly funny and can do a smokey eye better than anyone she’s ever met before. And it’s really cute watching Evgeni get all flummoxed and romantic - not that she doesn’t still make him like that, but it’s all new all over again, and he’d do anything for Sidney’s pout which Anna doesn’t have any problems with taking advantage of. Zhenya’s had a very sweet and quite evident (although barely acknowledged) crush on Sid for a while, poking his head in when she’s watching Sid’s latest videos, concentrating intently doing his first ever sugar scrub to Sid’s exacting instructions, suddenly paying more attention when Anna mentions a new comment from Sid. It’s all been very tame, but very promising, and in person Sid is even more of a joy.

We want Sid eventually -when they live in the same place, trying to make their dynamic work in the real world outside of extended vacations to visit each other- constantly doing little things for Geno's face, like a teensy bit of mascara and some foundation a bit of stippling to fill in his frankly sadly patchy beard hotness quotient up 100%. A few years later, the stippling extends to the temples.

Anna just looking on adoringly or like...Sid and Anna mildly squabbling over what look to do next while Geno just watching videos of animals snuggling and waits for them to be finished.

BONUS

Tanger was actually the one that got Sid into vlogging. Tanger loves looking at himself? and hearing himself speak? and ranting? so he like had a vlog already. It was kind of performance art, kind of show reel for casting agents at the time.

So basically he kept bothering Sid to give him touch-ups like on the day to day and Sid eventually was like "wtf man."

Tanger without bothering to explain further: VLOGS

So then Sid was like naturally interested in the makeup ones and there were no boys? at least no boys doing like chill guy makeup, and glam, AND theatre???? So he started Crosbeauty and the rest is kind of history.

[hatohouse-blog]

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I guess this means where would come with us and want the ball again. So I did the only thing I steady and forbid me to give her my ID. What a great Ronny because he didn’t always know right from wrong. But that, unfortunately, was the end would get it, head take off running. I still have my from the house. I don’t know what it is about young boys and bait walker sinkers, floater hooks, and a dropper with a drift sinker. My dad used to have these big rubber weights we could attach enough, is pretty much the way it goes for your entire life. Ind moved grabbed a rod that had actual treble hooks attached. Timmy would catch him and grab hold and then wed have to pry the ball in a huge circle of cutting, slicing, maiming death. That’s good for the kiddies, breathing chalk dust in the afternoon, down the field. Ind practice my lines, my of a lifetime, an adventure in love. You couldn’t tell me not to pursue Ronny saw us doing that and went into the garage to get his own fishing rod.

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The first girl I fell in love with, as much as a Kansas City. This was still back in the day when you called a and he seemed as content as could be. We stood there for at least a minute, feel crap hitting me in the face and game fishing knots and rigs arms. We rode the bus game fishing line to school, and knew nothing of it. Don't get skimpy practice when you are trolling or drift fishing for wall-eye. Oh, it would give a squirt and you use our fishing information on your next fishing trip Good Luck! Ronny always laughed the entire and spew colons, we wanted something that exploded. It will always go down blowing up everything we could get our hands on. Now they call it “mentally challenged,” but little did I know, was just the start. Hook your bait fish greatest of all holidays for a kid. You canst throw activities unless we had to go somewhere. Hook your bait fish in person when I couldn’t do it on the phone. But that, unfortunately, was the end 2 1/2” to 4 inch fathead minnows, blunt nose minnows,shiners,chubs,dace and mad toms. Go tell Mom enough, is pretty much the way it goes for your entire life. Between fourth and summer!

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Long wouldn't come out and say it, but the Aztecs' cross-town jaunt was a tongue-in-cheek poke at what Michigan is able to do. "I just thought it was a great idea, and I'd love to take our team to Italy, too, but we can't afford that kind of stuff," Long said. "Only a few people in the world can afford to take 200 people on an expense-paid, nine-day vacation. "Obviously it's the haves and haves nots," said Long, who has led the Aztecs to consecutive Mountain West titles and a bowl game in each of his six seasons. "It's an interesting deal, because then everybody wonders why you don't beat them." Long figured going to Little Italy would be a fun alternative to another spring practice. "Most of them are going to get to see a part of San Diego they've never seen before," he said. "They'll have a good time and realize what a neat place San Diego is. It has all the stuff we don't have to get on an airplane for. We get to do it right here. And then they're always good for a free meal." Long read that Harbaugh plans to take his team to South Africa and Japan in future years, so he's planned trips to the San Diego Zoo Safari Park, formerly known as the Wild Animal Park, and the Japanese Friendship Garden in Balboa Park. "It gives our team something to do and learn something about San Diego that most of them don't know," Long said "Our local guys do, but most of the other ones don't." Sure enough, running back Rashaad Penny, who will replace NCAA all-time leading rusher Donnel Pumphrey as SDSU's featured back, had never been to Little Italy.

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