#he pops off one of his own arms and hits Grimlock with it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

aranea-mechanica · 4 years ago

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(( BREAKING NEWS: here’s the 4k unfinished rp log from after this post, in which tarantulas temporarily adopted @medicalmurdersaurus, @kingasaurusrex, @surly-saurus, @tomatofaceasaurus, @elite-tracker, and @slvdge, and they wreaked absolute havoc on the Tor.

TAKE CHANCES, MAKE MISTAKES, GET MESSY!

Tarantulas

One thing led to another led to another led to another. Scooping Swoop up somehow got leaked to Grimlock, then Grimlock threatening him via comm inspired Tarantulas to adopt him too, which got leaked to Slag as well, who joined the party and essentially dragged Snarl and Sludge and Slash along for the ride. Tarantulas hopped through one portal after another herding them into the Tor, and mysteriously enough, they all seemed completely fine with the impromptu field trip. It was surreal how quickly and painlessly it came to pass - and all the more foreboding for what would probably follow.

The room the Dinobots were plopped into was mainly clear of equipment, although it had a decent serving of webbing slung around here and there. One might mistake it for a foyer of sorts, given the paths branching off toward more dim destinations. Strange sounds and smells emanated from far too many directions.

…In hindsight, Tarantulas would probably find that this hadn’t been the wisest of places to drop the Dinobots into the Tor for the first time. Popping back into the foyer at last, he’d just have to see the results of his poor decision for himself, now wouldn’t he?

Swoop

On the plus side, getting kidnapped gives Swoop a chance to look around while his siblings are herded up. On the down side, getting kidnapped gives Swoop a chance to look around while his siblings are herded up.

The high ceilings are far too tempting. He has to know what is up there. Up where? Up there.

Tarantulas

Swoop's first guess is probably right - webs. More webs, loosely spun. Probably a pretty fantastic jungle gym, a thought that's definitely occurred to Tarantulas as well.

Grimlock

Grimlock had only been outside his own verse a handful of times. Notably only to see the Prime that wasn't Prime, but regardless, this place is new. With new smells. And new sounds. And several new sights. He squints through his visor, deciding quickly he doesn't like it.

Which is only a half lie to himself.

He's curious as hell. Enough so that he reaches out to start poking at the various webbing strands littering the area-

And immediately decided it was interesting enough to start pulling at. Weird how it looked like string but felt nothing like it. Should probably take some home. It'd look cool in Kraken's cage.

Swoop

Swoop circles the room once, twice, a third time for good measure. In the last pass, he dips down past Grimlock and pulls up sharply so he can get enough momentum to fling himself up to the highest webs while transforming. He shrieks all the way up to his new perch.

Sludge

Swoop chose to go up, but Sludge? Sludge chose to go left, and investigate this entirely new place from the ground level. There's weird smells coming from that way, he has to know what they are, immediately. And possibly touch whatever's making those weird smells.

Absolutely touch whatever makes the weird smells.

Snarl

Snarl is just kinda staying put exactly where he ended up.

Tarantulas

The threads aren't really sticky - most of them, anyhow - but they do pull and pull and pull, and never seem to actually snap. The ones on the ceiling are thicker and have less give, which probably benefits Swoop (though if he chooses wisely he could certainly have a bungee-jumping adventure). Grimlock, however, probably won't be able to snag a sample of silk unless he slices instead of pulls.

If Sludge wanders far enough down the hall to the left, he'll reach a room with massive vats of various organic and inorganic fluids. Science lab or buffet? Who can tell.

What does it really matter what the original intent was, honestly.

Snarl

This wasn't part of his plan for the day. Not that he ever had much of a plan, but he definitely hadn't been ready for getting dragged along to be a part of the Tor.

Kinda looked like they just traded one dark rocky space, for another dark-ish space.

Swoop

There is some WWE off the ropes flinging going on towards the ceiling. This is a great time and Swoop is here for it, except... since when do his brothers come on his weird outings? That's new. Swoop springs towards the machinery nearest Snarl, landing with a CLANG.

Snarl

A lesser bot who DIDN'T LIVE WITH SWOOP 24-7 would probably be startled.

Grimlock

He's coming to that conclusion himself, though his considerable strength had managed to pull the elastic-like strands a decent way out of their original positioning. Now he wants this even more. Wheeljack could probably make some awesome weapon or maybe just something all around cool for the Dinocave.

He's thinking punching bags.

A hammock would be kinda cool too. He's seen those on tv and they at least look like a good time. It's never going to happen, however, unless he manages to get some of this stuff back home.

So without further ado, he reaches to his back to disconnect the base of his sword and activate it. When in doubt-slice it.

Swoop

"SNARL!" the pterosaur giggles. "You go a place. An INSIDE place!" It's difficult for someone as cartoonish as Swoop to come across over the top enough for the sarcasm to be clear. But, by god, he's trying.

Tarantulas

Thus begins the damage that Tarantulas will eventually have to repair and/or clean up later. Swoop's definitely leaving claw marks on that machinery.

Snarl

Snarl levels him with a look as flat as stale water. "What inside place?"

You have a chance to sell it, Swoop.

Swoop

Swoop throws his arms out Robert Downey Jr style to illustrate the Tor. "Dunno!"

Sludge

Vats! Full of stuff!

None of which he recognizes, but they're interesting colors and he's pretty sure that red flavor is the best flavor for anything. Spike had said that once. Sludge peered between the vats for a moment, trying to locate one that was red. And once he finds one, he carefully sets his cat down on the floor out of the way, and promptly shoves his face into said vat.

It's time... to lick the red flavor.

Snarl

Well. That meant his options were play statue exactly where he was which was tempting or go along with Swoop.... who might screech and pick at his armor until he does anyway.

Path of least resistance it is. Massive shoulders rise and fall in a shrug. "Kay. We go."

Tarantulas

Red flavor = probably synthetic blood, maybe, sort of. Does Sludge know what hemoglobin and plasma taste like? If so, it'll definitely be familiar, and nothing that'll affect his systems. His cat might find the vat strange, though.

And Grimlock can certainly have at, and with moderate success. Expect much chastising from Tarantulas once he does arrive and finds missing chunks of webbing, though.

Swoop

Nice. Another victory for Swoop.

"Us goooooooo-" He spun in a circle and then pointed in an arbitrary direction. "-thata way!"

Snarl

Good of a place as any. "Kay." Off they go then.

Tarantulas

Lots of static coming from "thata way." They'll have to open a few very-locked doors before they get to the source of it all.

Snarl

Hm. A door.

Fire time.

Sludge

Blegh. Spike was wrong, red flavor is worst flavor. Sludge is going to try the ominously glowing purple flavor instead. Maybe that one tastes better? Hopefully Tarantulas won't mind that he knocked over the blue vat on his way there.

Snarl

...This door is being very stubborn for fire time. Clearly that means there needs to be MORE FIRE TIME.

Swoop

Swoop is pro fire. He is always pro fire. But he's also pro comedy...

.... so he's going to go over and poke buttons to see if he can get the door open despite his brother.

Tarantulas

Blue vat leaves a sticky mess on the floor that Sludge won't enjoy stepping in, mostly because he'd get, well, stuck. Glowing purple flavor is mysteriously void of scent and taste, but leaves a mild tingle wherever it touches.

Snarl

At least the door is a little more pliable than before. So while Swoop is off CLEARLY not helping, Snarl decides to take matters into his own hands.

Literally into his hands. He starts beating on the door with his fists.

Sludge

The tingle is kind of cool. Let's try some more of that and see if he can make his insides tingle.

Tarantulas

The door, meanwhile, holds against the fire, but the buttons nearby start to malfunction under the combo of radiant heat & ridiculous mashing. They're doing Tarantulas a favor by finding out the flaws in his security, right? In the end the fists are what does the door in first, and they're on to the next one.

And yes, Sludge, your insides are definitely tingling now. That might be an unfortunate distraction from the fact that the other parts that WERE tingling are no longer feeling ANYTHING now.

Snarl

One last hit, and the poor door finally gives, getting essentially blown off its frame.

Snarl

"Open."

Swoop

"You Snarl DID IT!" : >

Snarl

"You Swoop and Me Snarl go to 'that way' now."

Swoop

Swoop dashes through the door and immediately looks up to see if there's more stuff to play with.

Swoop

Snarl follows along at a more leisurely, lumbering pace.

Tarantulas

Nope, just another hallway leading six possible directions. The static's coming from behind another door. Suuuuuper tempting, right?

Sludge

Well, his insides feel really tingly and it's super cool. But he feels weirdly off balance with half his face no longer feeling anything. Maybe he should leave the rest of the vats alone now. He'll come check them out again later. Aaaaafter he's checked what other rooms are in this hallway.

Snarl

"...Me hear noise."

"Swoop, that you?"

"You Swoop weird noise allllll the time."

Swoop

Swoop runs a circle, going past each possible option before sliding Tom Cruise style into Snarl's side.

"Nope! It not Swoop."

Tarantulas

Meanwhile, guess who's busy conjuring another bridge back to the Tor, finally. Oh dear.

Snarl

Snarl, squints and scrutinizes Swoop. Not that staring at him suspiciously does much for figuring out SOUND.

Slash

Slash finally makes it to the party, she looks around at what is going on so far, seems all her brothers have wondered off to do their own thing. She probably should be a good dino and wait for her leader Slag, but all the new scent and surroundings where to tempting to stay still for too long!

Slash was soon sniffing around and collecting as many new scents as she can, it was time to explore!

Grimlock

Grimlock has a large, triumphant handful of the strange white stringy stuff. After much hacking has been had to get it that far. He's, for the moment, content and immediately wraps it around his arm for safe keeping. Besides, it makes his arm thicker by just that much that clotheslining Slag is going to be hilarious later.

That done, he notices his brothers have, as they're wont to do, wandered off. Well shit. Whose scent does he follow- or does he follow the odd chemical smell that burns at his ol factory sensors in a way that's not entirely unpleasant....

His brothers would be fine. Odd smells it is then.

Swoop

For a genuine moment, Swoop lets Snarl listen. That is his thinking face after all. But Swoop can only stand it so long before he just.... chirp!

Snarl

Oh, hey, the weird noise is getting louder. Kinda sounds like the TV when the channels don't feel like working. Or something like that.

Nope. Was probably Swoop.

Tarantulas

Sludge's exploration supplies him with various rewards - rooms full of more organic smells and sights, something that looks like an operating theater, then a dissection lab that definitely has specimens still displayed. Ick.

Swoop

"This Spiderbot, uh, house."

Sludge

The poor dinobot has no idea what an operating theater is, but it's got sharp pointy things and shiny things so that's where he's gonna play now. Some of these look like things Ratchet uses. Where's Swoop? He'd know what they were.

"SWOOP!"

Tarantulas

Sludge's yell makes things shake and clatter a little. Nothing's damaged.... yet.

Also, 'house' is a generous term.

Slash

Slash decided to follow the scent to the vats she can smell Sludge has been here also, she wondered over to the vats to get a closer look and sniff only to step into the blue sticky mess and tumble forward into it.

Tarantulas

Grimlock's sense of smell leads him in a similar direction to Sludge, but down a different hall. It'll take him a long time to get to the source of the smell, but there's a straight path, and a green glow far, far off at the end.

Snarl

"Spiderbot have loud house."

"...."

"Wait that sound like him Sludge."

Slash

Slash is stuck! The blue goop clings to her if she tries to pull away.

Snarl

Hmmm. Sludge or the door. Decisions.

He looks to Swoop. ????

Slash

Slash is pulling! SHE WANTS OUT!! "ME SLASH STUCK!"

Swoop

Swoop looks back where Sludge's bellowing came from, then up at Snarl.

"Him dead."

Snarl

Well that settles that.

"Kay. We open door thing now."

Grimlock

Ugh. The smell was no longer as pleasant the closer he got to it. It stung, actually. Grimlock's face was set in a grimace under his mask and for half a second he almost turns back around. Then his optics narrowed and he growled. Giving up was for LOSERS. And Grimlock was no loser.

The green glow was more of a pinprick in the distance at the moment and Grimlock took off at a run, lumbering steps echoing down the narrow space.

Swoop

Swoop bobbled his head in agreement. Later, losers.

Snarl

There are more doors to break down. Like this one. Fire Time part 2.

Swoop

Swoop transforms into pterosaur mode and joins in the melting.

Tarantulas

The fire changes color when it hits the door, but it's slowly successful in melting it.

Swoop

He gaaaaaaaaaaasssps! <3

Snarl

Snarl stops immediately because did you see that?

Swoop

"AWESOME!!"

Sludge

Hmm. Swoop isn't coming. Shame. Now he has to go looking for his little brother. He gets to his feet and makes his way back to where he'd started, to pick a new hallway. Is he down this way?

Snarl

He's looking between Swoop and the door in quick succession.

Slash

Slash struggles to pull herself free of the blue mess on the floor, her claws start to heat up for more SLICING MELTING ACTION! "GRRR! ME SLASH WANT OUT!"

Snarl

Then he levels his brother with the most serious look that's ever graced his face. "Us burn ALL things. Find more colors."

Slag

Slag, for his part, waited to see where all his various brothers were going... and then went in whatever direction they weren't, plodding along leisurely with his drone pet/toy jingling about beside and somewhat under him when he pauses to scoot Gong Fat back between his front legs.

Gotta keep his toy from getting squashed or burned or otherwise Dino'd.

Swoop

Swoop lets out a victory shriek and flaps hard enough to get himself a ways off the ground. "YAAAAHHH!"

Tarantulas

Heated claws are super effective on the blue goop - it seems to melt as Slash slices, although it does leave a lot of residue on her as well.

Slag's adventuring leads to a far less interesting path than the others - it's mostly consoles, servers, and computer hardware in the rooms down his route.

Grimlock

Aaaagh even RUNNING was taking too much time! Grimlock growled, getting quite irritated. It was time to find a shortcut. He eyes the wall next to him, tapping on it.

The rearing his fist back to slam it into the surface with as much power as he can.

Slash

Slash was finally free and quickly gained as much distance from the blue goop as she can, her movement a little slow due to the residue left on her. She was totally leaving claw marks in the floor as she ran in a random direction.

ALSO SLASH SAW YOU SLUDGE JUST IGNORE HER >:C

Tarantulas

Also, tip to Swoop and Snarl: although all the doors in THIS hallway burn the same color, OTHER hallways might not. Have at it.

Grimlock immediately succeeds in denting the wall next to him, and there's a groaning rumble a few seconds afterward.

Grimlock

.........

Well, it did SOMETHING.

Time to hit it again.

Snarl

Snarl proceeds to be flamethrower, and immediately forgets to actually go through the door they demolished

Slag

Oh. Buttons.

Slag doesn't really read much to know what the buttons do but, they're colorful. And some of them glow. And they have TVs on them. He supposes he can find something to watch.

Maybe spider has movies. Maybe spider has Netflix.

One stumpy triceratops foot plops gracelessly on the console, sort of pawing at the keyboard to try to make something happen.

Slash

Slash now wishes she can flamethrower breath to get all this blue goop off of her, it was slowing her down! She doesn't like this place anymore it's dumb!

Slash finally stopped running to look around, just where was she now? She'll sniff the air to see where her brothers had run off to.

Tarantulas

Grimlock manages to rend the metal of the wall a bit, but only enough to see through. It's inky black, wherever that is, and smells like... nothing?

......

Sludge

Swoop is decidedly not down this new hallway, Sludge decides eventually. But there's more places to see, so he'll keep walking. If the other hallway had interesting things, this one should too.

Snarl

Follow the burning, Sludge.

Sludge

Why follow the burning, when he can make his own burning?

Snarl

Follow the scent of scorched metal and mania.

Snarl

ALSO A GOOD OPTION.

Tarantulas

Spider does not have Netflix. Spider has a security system on his console that requires eight levels of clearance before anything actually happens. Want to give it a shot, Slag? It'll make tons of interesting colors and sounds.

Grimlock

How does something smell like nothing? Grimlock's vents huff as he tries to peer through the hole. His curiosity is torn now between this seemingly empty space that smells like nothing and the challenge that was the green glow in the distance.

Slag

Huh. Colors are happening. Maybe it's a game?

Slash

Slash will follow the burning.

Slag

He can probably figure out the button combo to make it do the thing. Keysmashing usually works back home. This is probably the same.

Sludge

He can sort of hear Swoop and Snarl burning things, though. Somewhere to the right. Does he want to backtrack? Not really. So he's going to go the Quicker Route and start spitting fire at the wall.

It'll have to give way eventually.

Snarl

Some of the doors are just opening and closing now. Weird.

Swoop

The problem with a hallway is that he can't full on circle and swoop in the air. He'll have to make do with brief strafing runs. Snarl gets well and truly covered in fire, which is probably a nice bonus to all the activity. Toasty!

Snarl

Snarl, wreathed in flames, and fueled by destructive impulses is a fearsome thing to behold.

Actually that's a lie. He's looks confused

Why are the doors just opening like that now? Are they trying to get away from the burning?

'Cause, Ha. Like that'll happen.

More fire.

Tarantulas

Definitely not the same, Slag. This one eventually blacks out completely after too much keysmashing, since the chances of one Dinofoot following the pattern of eight Spiderpaws is slim to none.

Grimlock

Curiosity has given way to frustration. Guess what?

That wall's coming down if he has to break his knuckles doing it.

Swoop

Swoop thoughtlessly clips his own wing on a wall and eats quite a bit of floor before sliding to a stop. "KEHEHE!"

Snarl

Hmmmm.

Slash

OK one the doors almost closed on Slash's tail! NOT COOL!

Slash will just... Well slash at the controls of the door, maybe that will stop it from acting weird!

Slag

Oh. Broke it.

............

WHELP. Time to leave the scene of the crime. Last time he broke a console full of buttons he got buried alive so maybe he'll just wander off and have no idea who broke the thing.

Snarl

Snarl is gonna pick Swoop up, and toss him through one of the doors when they open.

He's aerodynamic. He'll make it.

Probably.

Swoop

Wheee! Off he goes! "KAHAH!"

Slag

C'mon Gong Fat let's find something to chew on.

Tarantulas

Knuckles needn't be broken - the wall comes down eventually, and Grimlock gets the opportunity to venture into a space that's completely open, aside from long metal supports stretching seemingly-randomly through the darkness. He can certainly hop onto one or another from the hole he's ripped in the wall.

Slash gets a small explosion for her efforts, but the door doesn't reopen.

Sludge

This was is taking too long to melt for Sludge's liking. Time to bash it headfirst. Good thing he still can't feel his face.

Grimlock

He does just that, pulling his blade out again to set it on fire. So he can see, you understand.

Slash

Good that will teach the door one!

Slash will then continue to follow the burning scent until she spots Snarl, "You Snarl set me Slash on fire. Get dumb blue goop off."

Tarantulas

Sludge succeeds! This wall is REALLY thick though, so it might take quite a bit of headbashing to make it through.

Sludge

He has more than enough headbashing to go around for this wall.

Tarantulas

The first thing Slag and Gong Fat chew on shocks their respective mouths hard enough to (hopefully) be a deterrent to chewing more.

Swoop

Swoop is either meeting more floor or going for an impromptu flight. Either way, he is down.

Slash

Ok new plan, start scratching all the blue goop off!

Slag

Ouch. Well it's definitely not a cabbage for shredding which is deterrent enough for Gong Fat.

Slag, however, is a bit miffed at the shocky stingy ouch in his mouth, and retaliates with a bolt of laser from the tips of his horns. SCREW YOU, SHOCKY THING.

Grimlock

So Grimlock can only remember having to do so much jumping one other time in his life. Somewhere in the Rockies. It sucked. This isn't much better.

But hey, everything echoes here and everyone always accused him of loving to hear his own voice. It's gonna roar into that void right now.

Snarl

Did it work though?

"You Swoop see things?"

Sludge

Persistent headbashing has led to a lot of ringing in his head, but if it opened the wall, then he will consider it worth it.

Tarantulas

Finally - finally. Tarantulas is ready to round up the Dinokids and show them around their new home. He can't wait. It's going to be fantastic.

...But they're not here in the foyer. And there are at least three paths of destruction in different directions, all of which sound like no one is up to any good. What in the WORLD is he going to do with these dangerous toddlers?

He's never had much reason to use it before, but he's ridiculously glad he installed the PA system now. Tarantulas's voice is unbelievably cheery as it echoes in every room of the Tor.

"I trust you're making yourselves at home!"

Snarl

!!!!

Sludge

!!!! Voices from the ceiling!

Snarl

LOUD YELLING AND IT'S NOT THEM, WHAT?

Slag

Head voices.

Head voices everywhere.

It's echoing.

His head isn't that empty. Shit's not supposed to echo.

Slash

Ok the halls are talking!

Slag

Where is that coming from???

Swoop

Swoop pushes himself up from the floor and looks at the PA. "SPIDERBOT!"

He cackles. ::Hi, Spiderbot.::

Snarl

Snarl yells to the void, "This not Dinocave. You dumb?"

Grimlock

Now the place is echoing back at him ! And it sounded like Spiderbot! Grimlock isn't a fan of hide and seek on the best days.

"WHERE YOU SPIDERBOT HIDING! COME FACE ME GRIMLOCK!"

Slag

Slag is just gonna skeedaddle further away from the scene of his crime. He didn't do it. You can't prove shit, echoing head voice. "Me Slag not at home. Me Slag here "

Snarl

It's a complete accident how correct his sentence is "This is a TOR."

Sludge

Sludge looks up, trying to find the source of the new voice. Spiderbot?

Slash

"THIS PLACE DUMB!!" Slash snarls. Ok she’s going to do some Climbing now.

It’s time to find a way out of this dumb place.

---

(tl;dr - the Dinobots tear up the Tor and Tarantulas adores them during every second of it, until he’s somehow forced to give the destructive children back to their proper guardians.)

#medicalmurdersaurus #kingasaurusrex #surlysaurus #slvdge #tomatofaceasaurus #elitetracker #(( spongebob meme TWO YEARS LATER

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afterspark-podcast · 5 years ago

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G1 Episode 19: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

S: Bugs. Bugs is what I'm getting at.

O: [Laughs] Oh, okay.

[Intro Music]

O: Hello, and welcome to the Afterspark Podcast. An episode by episode recap of the generation 1 Transformers cartoon. I'm Owls!

S: And I’m Specs!

O: And today we're gonna be talking about episode number 19, Dinobot Island Part 1. Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Yeah.

O: We open with Bumblebee (plus jetpack) and Powerglide flying through the air heading towards some strange energy reading in the middle of the ocean.

S: [laughs] Bumblebee comms back to base, to get confirmation from Optimus Prime and when it cuts to the Autobots we see Wheeljack at the console, you know, Teletraan 1, the big screen and everything, and then everyone else is like a good 60 feet back.

O: [snorts]

S: They're probably afraid Wheeljack's gonna blow shit up again.

O: By basically manning their telephone? [laughs]

S: Don't underestimate Wheeljack's ability to blow shit up. He's got a green thumb for it...or a black thumb? I don’t know…

O: He’s very, very talented at blowing shit up, let’s just go with that.

S: At least that’s how the fandom handles it.

O: I mean, fair. Bumblebee however, seems to be very gung-ho about this mission and excited and kind of surprised that Optimus seems to think so highly of him.

S: Like, he's kinda--he's almost a little blushy.

O: Yeah, he is.

S: It's kind of cute.

O: It's--well, Bee is very cute.

S: It's-it's sweet. Then Powerglide calls Bumblebee his ‘Little Bee Buddy.’

O: Which great name, it's a great name.

S: Yeah…

O: Ah, Powerglide, while flying slams into some sort of energy wave or energy field and says that it won't affect him because he's got too much ‘pizazz!’

S: Oh god--he's an idiot who thinks he dumped all of his points into charisma but clearly he didn',t and then again I'm having a hard time figuring out what stat he would have dumped them into because it's clearly not wisdom. Maybe dexterity? And I'm actually really wishing now that I'd sat down and put together a fucking stat sheet.

O: Oh god, that sounds nightmarish. All I know is that Powerglide talks about himself a lot. I feel like he says his name like six times in sixty seconds in his introduction.

S: Something like that. He sort of speaks in pseudo third-person, it gets kind of old.

O: It gets old very quickly.

S: But they had to have some way of differentiating these new Autobots from the previous ones so you get a bit more, um, out there personalities and speech tics.

O: [snorts] I mean, I guess at least they have personalities?

S: Or speech patterns is what I meant.

O: Yeah.

S: Cuz you've got Warpath and...all of that.

O: Yeah…

S: They're suddenly attacked by a giant pteranodon that carries Bee away in its claws. Providing his own narration, Powerglide then flies off to the rescue.

O: Bee looks like, super done through this entire sequence. Uh, he even says something to the effect of, “Can't he just save a guy without doing a commercial?”

S: Honestly, the Autobots could probably earn money by you know, selling off Powerglide’s vocal--

O: Oh god.

S: --powers for commercials.

O: Yeah, he--he would make a good--good guy to do commercials for…

S: Oh god, him and Swindle, doing something together.

O: Oh god, oh god, yes please--someone write this? [laughs]

S: Like, Swindle’s a perfectly good sell guy by himself but I mean, you want an infomercial…

O: Give him the power--uh, giving them the power of Powerglide’s voice? Oh yes, they would sell so much shit!

S: Oh god, I'm just imagining the robot infomercials now. Shamwow, Oxyclean...

O: [laughs] Shamwow, now--now sponsored by the Auto--the Autobots! Shamwow! [continues laughing while Specs speaks]

S: God, there’d be some sort of Powerglide pun in there somewhere.

O: Ugh, you know it would.

S: [sighs] And then well--uh, so back on topic, Powerglide does indeed chase the pteranodon off but it drops Bumblebee whose jetpack is no longer functioning properly like, it's super beat all to hell.

O: Uh, yeah after you know, being picked up by a pteranodon. Bee does eventually land safely with the help of a palm tree cushioning his impact.

S: It’s a thing, it’s a thing. And okay, I figured out where Powerglide put his stats. He clearly blasts Bee’s jetpack with some sort of ray of healing from his forehead, so magic? Like--he's like, the world's shittiest wizard.

O: Oh god. [laughs] I don't want to think about him being a wizard. He’s like, one of the flim-flam man if he is a freaking wizard.

S: [groans]

O: Yeah! I'm right! I'm right, and should say it!

S: Yeah.

O: [laughs] Anyway, Bumblebee explores the immediate area on, uh, the island that they have crash-landed on.

S: There are a fuckton of dinosaurs here and Bee is promptly attacked by a t-rex.

O: To which, he runs back to Powerglide and sort of jerks him--him by the arm in the direction that the t-rex is now chasing him.

S: Or is coming from, yeah.

O: Is com--yeah, like that the t-rex that is chasing him is coming from.

S: It's like, “Here, here look at this thing it wants to eat me!”

O: [laughs] “Save me!”

S: “Do--do the thing, kick its ass!”

O: Uh, Powerglide transforms and Bee hangs a ride by grabbing on top of uh, Powerglide’s plane mode and they fly off. It looks very uncomfortable.

S: Yeah. Honestly, it's probably messing with Powerglide’s you know, uh, aerodynamic surfaces but okay…

O: The power of magic robots?

S: Yeah. Back at the Ark, Bee and Powerglide have clearly reported the living fossils they ran into to the other Autobots and there, they proceed to insult the Dinobots. You know, like normal--which is kind of sad.

O: You're all terrible, I want you to know this.

S: Yeah...Wheeljack tries to mitigate the general air of disrespect by saying that the Dinobots have good qualities and he's been trying to teach them stuff.

O: Wheeljack is a good Dino dad.

S: Yeah, and then Huffer decides to be a dick about this statement.

O: Yep, yep, shut up Huffer.

S: Shut up Huffer.

O: [laughs]

S: Wheeljack's idea of demonstrating Grimlock’s newfound control over his powers, his--his newfound dexterity, is to have Blaster transform into his alt mode and then have Grimlock change the radio stations...with fire breath or a laser breath or however they refer to it.

O: All this seems like a terrible, terrible, terrible idea!

S: It is, like yes, you can demonstrate his dexterity some other way, dude!

O: That doesn't involve fire and possibly melting your communications officer.

S: Yeah.

O: Grimlock, to his credit does actually succeed in changing the station without incinerating Blaster, much to the chagrin of Ironhide, Trailbreaker, and Sideswipe.

S: They have no taste. They don't like any of those music. But, ah, considering it was changed to a rock station I would expect this from Ironhide and possibly Trailbreaker but Sideswipe--you're a young hip dude!

O: Sides, there is no way you don't listen to rock, I am not buying this for a single goddamn second.

S: Maybe he's more of a pop guy?

O: Oh god, now I'm just like, now I'm just imagining him doing karaoke to Britney Spears songs.

S: [laughs]

O: Thank you, thank you for that came to Britney Spears in my brain! Just imagine him going, “Catch me baby one more time,” or whatever. [Clearly my 90’s card needs to be revoked, because it’s, “Hit me baby one more time.” ~Owls]

S: Yeah.

O: Hust mmm-mmm, perfection and you know he would do it at karaoke just to drive Prowl nuts.

S: Or maybe he likes Dolly Parton?

O: [laughing while trying to talk] JOLENE! [continues to laugh]

S: The rest of the bots and humans in the room proceed to celebrate.

O: Wheeljack in particular seems super proud of Grimlock.

S: [sighs] Of course something has to go wrong, and that thing is Slag and Sludge getting interested in what's going on and then proceeding to bump into Grimlock. Who then begins spewing fire around the room uncontrollably.

O: I love it because Grimlock says, “Slag, Sludge, go away! Me, Grimlock, demonstrating finesse (whatever that mean),” before immediately turning around and destroying something else with his extremely long tail.

S: Yeah...honestly the perspective on that made no sense…

O: It looked way too long. I'm like not really sure what happened there to be honest.

S: Yeah, the situation proceeds to further unravel with the on--with the arrival of the ever curious Snarl and Swoop, who want to come and investigate all this shit.

O: Which, congrats! You lured the first two idiots with the racket, now you've caught the other two.

S: Well, they’re five for five.

O: They are five for five!

S: The Dinobots get dangerously close to Teletraan 1 but Trailbreaker uses a shield to protect it but he like, shoots it and then it hits and sort of spreads and it's weird.

O: Yeah, not really sure how this guy's powers work.

S: Yeah.

O: We see several previously unseen Autobots who rush in to put out the room which is now on fire. The main two we get to see are Inferno, a fire truck, and Red Alert, a fire Lamborghini. Yes really, that's what he's supposed to be.

S: Well, I suppose it was either that or a fire Datsun, or a fire Porsche, or a fire minibot. Do you want a fire miniot? Cuz that's how you get a fire on minibot.

O: [laughs] So, I looked it up, I believe his toy is a police car version of Sideswipe and Sunstreaker’s mold and it literally was listed as like, the police version. Um, but I'm laughing because I'm like oh no--now I'm wondering is there a police version of the Datsun or the Porsche, or the minibot?

S: Well, there could be a police version of the Lamborghini in Italy.

O: Well isn’t Prowl--what is Prowl?

S: Prowl’s a Datsun.

O: Oh, Prowl’s a Datsun...then we already had a po--we already had a police Datsun!

S: Yeah, so it's just--I don't think--cuz, like Crown Victorias were like, the main police car.

O: Oh, yeah.

S: Now there's Mustangs and stuff and I've never seen a Lamborghini.

O: Yeah, like it's just...there would never be a fire Lamborghini.

S: Well, let me look this up. Cuz I now want to know if there's a police...no, let’s see...oh my god! Italy's newest police car is a Lamborghini as of 2017.

O: That's still 30 years too late I'm not looking at it! [laughs]

S: Well, there could be other Lamborghinis there, but a Lamborghini makes sense for--

O: Like, Italy.

S: Yeah. Ratchet is rather resigned to having to repair the entire room now with Sparkplug offering to help. Well, he's also got Grapple.

O: Oh yeah, Grapple’s in here.

S: Yeah and um...shoot I forget his name...Hoist. Grapple and Hoist.

O: The Dinobots however, continued to blunder around with Sideswipe getting the brilliant idea of fighting them to a standstill.

S: [sighs] I mean that is basically...that--that is basically his entire modus operandi. Slamming shit until it stops being a problem.

O: True. Uh, then the red idiot brigade rush in like well, idiots. This being Sideswipe, Cliffjumper, and Ironhide.

S: Well, they did decide to color code their hot heads.

O: They did! [laughs] They did! Well, paint them all red, they're idiots.

S: Yeah, thankfully they are stopped in their tracks by Optimus Prime. And Optimus has Grimlock bring the other Dinobots to heel.

O: He actually shows some modicum of respect and trust towards Grimlock here, wow.

S: It's an improvement.

O: Definitely is.

S: They then get the brilliant idea of sending the Dinobots to the newly discovered island. Where they'll be less likely to break shit or at least shit the Autobots care about.

O: [laughs] Yeah, uh, cutting away we see that Ravage and Soundwave are eavesdropping on the Autobots as they exit from the side of a mountain. Why do they even have this?

S: I guess they wanted a backdoor. They wanted somewhere where they wouldn't be mobbed by paparazzi.

O: [snorts]

S: Except you never see the paparazzi.

O: I feel like there should be paparazzi. I mean if giant alien robots landed on earth I feel like paparazzi would be all over that shit but--

S: Either that or someone that wants to sell magazines--we've already discussed the magazine subscription sales.

O: Yeah. Wheeljack and Ratchet uh, being good parents actually wish their babies luck.

S: They're sending their kids off to summer camp.

O: It is kind of what it feels like, yes.

S: Yeah, I except there aren't any moderators.

O: Yup, yup, we are leaving we are leaving the babies in charge of the babies.

S: Oh god no, they're basically sending them off to…

O: Live in the woods for a week? [laughs]

S: More or less! They're basically doing what Izumi did with the Elrics.

O: [laughs] Yep, yep, yep, that’s close.

S: Oh god, except now--now Spike hops into Powerglide, to come with them, like--

O: Why--why aren we bringing the squishy?

S: He wants to sightsee, unfortunately he didn't bring any goddamn camera. Cuz, you know Chip would be all over this.

O: Yeah, Chip would like to see this!

S: I guess we needed a the human element.

O: Well, that human element’s gonna end up smeared across the bottom of either the organic, or the robot t-rex, I fucking guarantee it.

S: Unfortunately yeah, or he's gonna puke everywhere because you just know Powerglide's gonna pull a freaking rodeo with every goddamn ride he takes this kid on.

O: Ohhhhh yeah. Spike does actually put on a seat belt here which is kinda new. [laughs]

S: I figure planes would have some sort of restraint device even in the 80’s, but who knows.

O: That's my guess, that's our guess anyway.

S: Soundwave comms Megatron about the mysterious island discovered by the Autobots.

O: And clearly it’s shit on Starscream hour, as Megatron insinuates at least some Decepticons don't disappoint him.

S: At some point somewhere some version of Megatron has to have, “All of you disappoint me,” mug, or something.

O: Oh my god! Yes! Now I want that, I want a mug--I want a tiny mug of that, to hand my G1 Megatron.

S: It’s just--

O: He absolutely has that mug! I don't know this one has that mug but one of them's got that mug!

S: Yeah.

O: Maybe Prime Megatron?

S: [snickers, following by unintelligible audio]

O: Soundwave’s like, sipping his own shit that says like, “#1 Communications Officer,” cuz he knows he ain't talking about him.

S: Yeah.

O: [laughs]

S: So Soundwave sends Laserbeak after the Autobot crew, to you know, keep tabs on them. Like a competent communication officer does.

O: Right! Of course, as the Autobot group gets near the island Powerglide decides to show Spike his moves.

S: I called it. I--I freakin called it. Powerglide just cannot resist showboating.

O: But he's a plane! [laughs]

S: Show--show-planing, show-flying?

O: Showing off! [laughs]

S: Yeah. Spike decides to name the new island and he goes with Dinobot Island cuz…

O: Who--who let the 14-year old named shit!?! Guys--guys, Powerglide, you talk all the time surely you can think of a better name than this!

S: He may not care.

O: Of course! And I--I feel like his suggestion would be like, “Let's call it Powerglide island!”

S: Well of course! Cuz the most important person was first on the ground!

O: Or--but he wasn’t! Bumblebee was!

S: Yes, but that was falling, he wasn't the first person to actually set foot on it!

O: Oh god.

S: I don’t know! I don’t--I don’t think I care. [laughs] Ahh..

O: The Autobots land and Laserbeak lands some distance away, still keeping an eye on them cuz again, competent. Competent soldier.

S: One of the locals attempts to buddy up to Laserbeak, but gets eye lasers for their trouble.

O:Laserbeak’s not even remotely in the vicinity of fucking around here, he's got a job to do! Laserbeak also conveniently pulls out his camera as Spike starts going on about all the energy sources on the island.

S: He mentions an oil pit. How is there an oil pit here? That wouldn't be...safe? But I mean okay, they're probably talking about tar, maybe?

O: I mean like, that's what--what we assumed is that--well, at least it's what I’m assumed, they have to mean tar pit! But I'm still not sure how that's a source of energy?

S: Well, I mean, I guess there's enough thermal energy but I don't get how they’d get it. Who the fuck knows.

O: Or at least how would that be less difficult than like, I don't know--solar energy in the middle of the fucking ocean?

S: Or wind power--

O: Or wind power--

S: --or you know, water power.

O: --or wave power--

S: Hydrodynamics?

O: --or whatever! A zillion other things that the Decepticons could be doing under the radar and not being caught with!

S: They’re dumb robots and it's an 80’s cartoon. We've already had discussions about that.

O: Oh, so many. Of course, the first thing Powerglide says uh, is that, “It's a good thing those Cons don't know about this!”

S: Well, it's already been jinxed.

O: Yep! And not 30 seconds later Powerglide has a horrifying realization that he has lost the human.

S: He's a really bad babysitter, he can't be trusted.

O: Clearly not. Cutting back to Spike, he is immediately picked up by a giant green dinosaur out of nowhere.

S: One that obviously doesn't have a basis in reality. I mean it looks like a weird dragon.

O: Minus, you know, actually like, being able to breathe flame. He is then dropped into a nest with some absurdly huge eggs like, way too big for the dinosaur that has dropped him in there.

S: Maybe it's the dad that dropped him in and the female is bigger or something. Maybe they're like kiwis? I don't know.

O: I think you're giving this show far more credit than it deserves. [laughs]

S: Swoop comes in for the rescue.

O: That's because Swoop is a good birb!

S: Spike gets dropped off near a lake, with Swoop telling him to be careful before flying off.

O: Nessie then rises from behind Spike and grabs him in their mouth, swimming off.

S: Oh plesiosaurs,I'm surprised the Autobots didn't decide to ah, build someone based off of one…

O: Hee, hee, hee, Paddles !

S: Powerglide and the Dinobots here Spike screaming and run over. Except, I don't know--Powerglide flies for like two seconds--

O: [laughs] Yeah for a whole two seconds, he is extremely gung-ho for a rescue until he spots the giant water monster and then he's like, “Uh, how about you guys do it instead?” to the Dinobots.

S: Yeah. Spike is then rescued by Sludge after Nessie drops him. And in a blissful moment of sanity, Spike decides to return home as he is tired of being dindins.

O: Yeah, for once a competent decision was made, weird. Laserbeak, uh, after you know, presumably getting all of this on video, returns to the Decepticon base where he displays the recorded information for Dinobot Island to the rest of the Cons.

S: Megatron, well clearly Megatron's been taking notes from his comic iteration here as his badge is bright red.

O: [laughs] For like one shot. Megs is gunning --get it, get it, because he’s a gun? For a takeover of Dinobot Island but Starscream, who clearly does not want to be a flying dino dinner, objects.

S: Regardless, Megatron orders an attack in some completely ridiculous, amazing, visual framing. Megatron is just standing there, in the middle of the group, with an arm up in a victory pose, flanked by two Decepticons on either side, with Thrust (whom we haven't met yet) framed by Megatron's magnificent thighs.

O: That placement seems so, so phallic.

S: Especially considering his name.

O: Yes, but it gets worse because Thrust is one of the Coneheads which means he has you know, a pointy head.

S: Yes.

O: Which only makes this worse, or better, really, depending on how you look at it.

S: To--to clarify, Thrust is way in the background and he's not like, lying on a stomach between Megatron’s thighs--

O: No, but he's like, he looks tiny in the distance and he’s right under Megatron’s crotch!

S: Yes.

O: And I’m just like--why did you frame it like that!?! [laughs] Back on Dinobot Island, the Dinobots are training.

S: Grimlock does not have the vocabulary for this.

O: What do you mean Specs, “Do flying stuff!” sounds plenty descriptive to me!

S: It's pretty descriptive, but it's not you know, good for specifics.

O: The Cons land, uh, Megatron being a dick to Starscream.

S: When isn't he?

O: Oh, never really.

S: And then Starscream mentions being worried about the bizarre energy waves.

O: Because you know, scientist and shit, right?

S: They actually remembered he did that.

O: Yeah, I know, right?

S: The group splits up to gather Energon from the various energy sources on the island.

O: Starscream uh, proceeds to freak the fuck out as the weather begins to de--destabilize, but Megatron just points at him and tells them to get back to work.

S: From the air--Swoop the spots the Decepticons from the air.

O: Grimlock uh, after Swoop gets back and tells them this, orders the rest of the Dinobots to attack.

S: Meanwhile, Spike and Bumblebee are coming out of a library with some lovely, lovely research in hand. Which we couldn't read the titles of--but it made no goddamn sense.

O: It was gibberish. Yeah like, what we could see it was just complete gibberish.

S: Yeah...

O: Suddenly, a portal opens up and some barbarians riding motherfucking mammoths come through. I don’t know who the voice actor is here, but they are clearly just making silly noises into the mic and it is amazing. [laughs]

S: Yeah. I don't know what time period these barbarians are supposed to be from, we a--we had a discussion, but apparently they've got some metalworking going on cuz--one of them was wearing a horned helmet.

O: Yeah, and it's just like, I don't even know, but okay?

S: Disarray ensues as giant mammoths proceed to fuck with traffic patterns.

O: Spike says that mammoths just haven't existed for, “Fifty thousand years!”

S: Oh honey, most of them didn't die out about--until about you know, ten thousand years ago. So you're super off Spike!

O: Some of them actually survived and until longer too! [laughs]

S: Yes, but that was a very small population on a very, um…

O: Isolated island, essentially.

S: Yeah. They probably had some issues at the end.

O: Sounds like it. Spike and Bee escape into a dilapidated building for cover but the mammoths ram the building, and it comes down on top of the two of them.

S: Yeah, that's bad--that’s baaaad. Back on Dinobot Island, Megatron uses some well-placed blasts from his fusion cannon to create a stampede of you know, regular dinosaurs to herd the Dinobots off a cliff.

O: The Dinobots can fly? They literally flew earlier in this episode. Did--did, everyone here just collectively dump that fact from their brain?

S: I mean, the robots pretty frequently forget they have abilities but at least these guys are babies, so we can kind of forgive them. Also, they may not be able to fly and in their alt modes with the exception of Swoop, so I don't know.

O: Yeah, but I don't know why they wouldn't transform.

S: We don't know what the reaction times are when they're startled.

O: That’s true.

S: And maybe they don't want to hurt uh--uh the other dinosaurs.

O: I'd be more willing to believe that but I still think transforming and jumping up in the air would be faster.

S: It would, it would, but I don't know we're not--we don't exactly have a view into the minds of these giant robot children. And the Dinobots unfortunately, fall into a tar pit.

O: Because of course they do!

S: Yeah. Including poor Swoop, who only fell in because Grimlock basically fell on top of him. [sighs]

O: Poor Swoop.

S: Yeah.

O: And that's where today's episode ends. Join us next time for more time warps, cowboys, barbarians, and pirates galore!

S: Yup.

O: So, do we have some fanfic recommendations for today?

S: Yes, we have two of them. Uh, the first is Pounce by eerien_sadow. Uh, it's in the G1 cartoon continuity, rated K, um, it’s Gen. There aren't any pairings and the characters are Swoop and an unnamed Decepticon. And the summary is: An infiltrator attempts to escape the Autobots. And I basically decided on this because Swoop, because unfortunate things happened to Swoop in this episode.

O: Poor baby.

S: And it's a oneshot, it's also very, very short um, less than 600 words, I think? So it's a nice little bite. And uh, second recommendation is Wild Man's World by Harpokrates. It’s in the Transformers’ War for Cybertron continuity, it's rated K, Gen--even though it was written for a rare pair bingo. There is no overt shipping or anything. The closest you get to it is someone giving someone else a bouquet of crystals and that's more, “I would like you to feel better,” than anything else, so yeah. There's no pairings, our characters are Perceptor, Grimlock, Ratchet and Slug.

And in summary: They made it off of Cybertron but that doesn't mean all of their problems are solved. Preceptor juggles morals, obligations, Insecticons, and Grimlock. And well, I picked this one because it's got Grimlock in it, but it also has the rest of the Dinobots which I thought the way--the way--the way they're handled is pretty different from you know G1 but I liked it.

O: So uh, if you're not aware uh, War for Cybertron is a PlayStation 3 game. The continuity--it's technically in the Aligned continuity which is technically supposed to like, encapsulate the video-- the War for Cybertron/Fall of Cybertron, Prime, and Robots in Disguise, and Rescue Bots. But I feel like the video games feel pretty distinct. Uh, but so, the way they handle the Dinobots in the game is pretty different and the Dinobots never show up in Prime or Robots in Disguise, really so...

S: Well, they do have Grimlock in Robots in Disguise

O: It's not the same Grimlock.

S: Yeah.

O: It's not the same Grimlock, which is this whole other kettle of fish. So--it--it--they definitely are handled differently because in the game they were normal Autobots that were captured by uh--

B: Shockwave.

O: And his experimented on.

S: Okay, yeah, this deals pretty heavily with the aftermath of the experimentation at least on Grimlock.

O: Yeah, yeah, cuz basically--they did not have dinosaur alt modes before Shockwave got ahold of them. And whatever Shockwave had done had really, really fucked with Grimlock’s mind.

S: Yeah. As will be very, very evident if you read this. Which it was good I reckon--I definitely recommend it, and yeah, it's--it's what you haven't read yet.

O: Yeah, I need to read this one cuz I actually--I really--I'm very fond of Perceptor anyway so...

S: Yeah, and I mean, you've actually played War for Cybertron, which I haven't.

O: I keep thinking I should play it while you're over or something cuz I do think you would enjoy the plot, but it's a first-person shooter so I'm not sure how interesting it is to watch.

S: It's--they might have had it available on computer at some point?

O: They did originally, but because the copyright--

S: Oh, yeah--

O: --they, uh. Was it EA? Whatever company had it lost the copyright.

S: Yeah.

O: Um, so they pulled the digital releases. Now the only way to get it is a hard--is a hard copy, and the only hard copies I could find were on PlayStation.

[Happily, it appears I may be wrong about this for War for Cybertron and Fall of Cybertron! Even thought it’s delisted on Steam I could still find downloadable copies available on Amazon for the PC, and the Steam codes they give you still work in Steam. Unfortunately, this doesn’t appear to be the case with Devastation, which was my favorite out of the 3 more recent games. D: ~Owls]

S: Yeah, which I mean, I guess, I could theoretically get a PS--actually I want a PS4 I guess, because I kind of want to get the new Spider-man game.

O: Yeah, you can't play PS3 games on it.

S: Oh.

O: It's--they’re not backwards compatible, that's why I have both.

S: I hate that.

O: I know, I know, I feel ya!

S: Okay, let's get back on topic.

O: Sorry! ~Tangent!~

S: And I believe we have art recommendations.

O: So for fanart today we have Misaki, who does a variety [of art]--I've seen Animated, IDW, some Beast Wars stuff. They have a very simple, cute style there's a lot of Animated art or characters done in the style of Transformers Animated. Uh, they've also been doing quite a bit of TMNT stuff as of the time I uh, took my notes for this. Uh, oday we have linked a Transformers Animated style Dinobot, a neat looking Soundwave, and Rodimus not wanting to work.

S: He wants to play hooky.

O: He does, its Rodimus. Hooky is like, his default state of being.

S: [chuckles] And that just about wraps it up for us today! Remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as a Afterspark-Podcast, for any additional information, show notes, or links we may have mentioned. You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word) and various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast such as a AO3, iTunes, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, and YouTube just to name a few. Till next time, I'm Specs!

O: And I'm Owls!

S: Toodles!

[Outro Music]

#afterspark podcast #transcript #g1 episode 19

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allspark · 7 years ago

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A (self-proclaimed) sophisticated and handsome guest joins us in the Allspark Studios today. Starscream, fastest flier of the Seekers has landed! Is the Power of the Primes version worthy of reigning over your Decepticon hordes? Tune in after the break to find out!

Starscream is the character you love to hate. Whiney, backstabbing, entitled, and yet somehow frequently successful (although normally briefly) in obtaining that which he does not deserve: Leadership over the Decepticons or all of Cybertron. The original Starscream figure was not as cool as his cartoon counterpart, but he had his charms. Since then, we have received a series of updates, some of which captured the spirit of the character better than others. After initially seeing the Power of the Primes Starscream in pictures, I was immediately disinterested. Then he grew on he a little. Then I lost interest again, mostly because while I liked the look of the torso and head sculpt, the “Popeye arms”, thick lower legs and the stickers (shakes fist at Hasbro) really turned me off to the design. Fortunately my BBTS preorder hit before I could find Grimlock in stores, so I ended up keeping Starscream here.

Jet Mode

Jet mode is basically Starscream’s robot mode, scrunched down, with a jet on his back. That has been the case for more Transformers than I can count. I should be used to it by now, but it’s not something I like to forgive in A-List characters, so it is disappointing here on Starscream. Other than the horrible stickers, he actually doesn’t look bad from the top of the jet, as long as the angle does not reveal much of the undercarriage. Overall, I don’t hate the jet mode, but I don’t like it much either. It’s…OK, I guess.

Transformation to Robot Mode

Like Grimlock, this one is simple:

pop the wings up

disengage the nose cone away from the body of the jet

rotate the nosecone panels forward towards the front

plug the nosecone into the body behind the wings

disconnect the arms from the legs

pull the legs down fully

rotate the panels on the inner legs upward and plug them into the sockets on the inside of the knees

rotate the side fins backwards

rotate the wing section 180º

rotate the head around

Robot Mode

I was originally equally disappointed with the robot mode pics I saw of Starscream, and had decided not to buy him, but BBTS and my ability to cancel a pre-order said otherwise. I ended up being alright with it though, as the bot mode quickly grew on me. The proportions are a little wonky, yes. He will never live the Popeye comparison down, just like Energon Prime will always be “Fattimus” to some people, but that does not mean he (or E-Prime) is a bad figure. It would be one thing if the articulation was sacrificed for the gimmick, but it’s not. And the big legs and arms are reminiscent of armored boots and gauntlets, so it’s easy for me to get past the proportions. Once that happens, Starscream’s personality begins to show through. I think most fans will see this by the time you get to posing him on the shelf…but you will have to buy him first. I don’t think most kids will care, as he is a fun toy in this mode.

Transformation to Combiner Torso

Let’s make the best combiner torso ever:

rotate the arms above his head with the bottoms of the forearms faceing front (hands up!)

rotate the wings 180º

rotate the lower legs outward at the knee 45º so that the feet/combiner joints are facing out

disconnect the knee panels and rotate them towards the feet again

collapse the legs inwards towards the torso

connect the leg pieces with the tab/slot in the center

pop the chest open and pull the combiner head out

rotate the connector up and flip out the blue panel

connect the blue panel to the nosecone

rotate Starscream’s head around and flip it into the torso (it takes some fiddling, don’t force it)

rotate the combiner head

rotate the nosecone panels into place and connect them to the tabs on the legs

rotate the wings into the nosecone and connect them into the wing tabs

bend the wings at the halfway point to make them flat to the front of the torso

pop the panels on the front of the combiner legs out

rotate the combiner connectors to face front

Combiner Mode

I think this may be my favorite combiner torso! It is more stable than any of the other torsos to date. The combiner proportions look great, with well-balanced shoulders and hips, allowing for some great balance. Strong ratchet joints added to this combination make for the best un-aided combiner poses by far. I feel like we need more limbs made from older versions of Starscream (G1, Armada, Energon) so that we can combine them with the Ghost Starscream combiner limb and get a true fully Starscream combiner. Sounds like something Takara would have done a year ago, and I want it. No, NEED it.

Brute Mode

Brute mode for Starscream is made the same way it is made for Grimlock. Connect the combiner feet and hands together. He doesn’t have connectors on the side of his arms that are compatible, but if you place the handles under the feet parts into the Starscream’s hand from the bottom, it gives you the same effect.

Overall Thoughts

I really did not think I wanted this Starscream at all. The stickers, weird proportions, and lack of tampo details really bring down the look of the figure. I’m glad I ended up owning him, however your mileage may vary with this one. Brute mode and combiner mode are excellent. Jet mode can be completely forgotten. I really don’t think that most kids will care about the wonky proportions, so he will make a good buy for them, or a great repurposed gift if you decide to try him out and get buyer’s remorse. I would give this figure B rating. A solid 7/10 energon cubes.

Power of the Primes Starscream Gallery and Review! A (self-proclaimed) sophisticated and handsome guest joins us in the Allspark Studios today. Starscream, fastest flier of the Seekers has landed!

#CHUG #Classics #Combiner Wars #Generations #Legends #Starscream #TF #Titanmasters #titans #Titans Return

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