#he opened lecture today with 'does anyone here know anyone who's experienced homophobia here on guam bc i don't think it happens much here'

[tar-frogs]

me (closeted queer) just trying to get through my sociology class (my transphobic professor is making me want to kill myself)

[cristinablackthornkingson]

Shadowhunters Short Story #42. What if baby Carstairs is actually Babies Carstairs?

It is a warm night in the middle of April 2013 and Tessa Carstairs has found herself once again unable to sleep because of the feeling of little feet kicking inside of her. She is 9 months pregnant, just a few weeks away from her due date and has been unable to sleep much these last few nights because the baby is so very active, it seems her hopes that her daughter will be as calm as Jem have not proven true.

With a sigh Tessa pulls back the covers and heaves herself out of the bed, quietly making her way across the room and shutting the door quietly so as not to wake Jem.

When Tessa walks into the sitting room she sees Kit lying on his back on the sofa, his brow creased and a scowl on his face. 

“Having trouble sleeping?” Tessa softly asks, perching on the arm of the sofa. 

“Tessa! What are you doing up? Shouldn’t you be resting?” Kit asks in a tone of worry, sitting up right and looking at her with eyes full of concern. 

“Your sister is being very inconsiderate and playing football with my insides which is preventing me from sleeping.” Tessa lightly says, running a hand down her swollen stomach and moving to sit beside Kit on the sofa. “What are you doing up?” She adds. 

“Nothing just couldn’t sleep and wanted to get out of my room for a while.” Kit quietly says. 

“Is something the matter?” Tessa gently asks, placing a hand on his shoulder. She had seen the scowl on his face when she came in and could see the hurt and upset in his eyes.

“No, why?” Kit asks in a defensive tone, not wanting to open up to Tessa and have her laugh at his ridiculous problems. Tessa shrugs and softly says

“Mother’s instinct, you can talk to me if you want, I promise I won’t judge you, and it can stay between you and me if that’s what you want.” Tessa says in a reassuring tone. 

Kit sighs and leans back, resting his head in Tessa’s lap, staring up at the ceiling. He stays quiet for a while, but then he feels Tessa start to softly stroke his hair and he begins to relax and feel safe. 

“I just... you know I’m not straight right Tess?” Kit asks.

“Yes, I do.” Tessa says, hoping that the feeling she has about what Kit is about to tell her is wrong. 

“Well.... last week when Jem took me to The Academy to show me around in case I decide I ever want to go there, I... Jem went to talk to The Dean, so I just stayed in the cafeteria and waited for him. While I was waiting this guy came up to me and started flirting with me, I started flirting back, for a while everything was fine, I was really enjoying myself and thought I might even have met someone, then this other guy came along, he saw the other guy and I flirting and... he spewed some crap about homosexuality being against The Angels’ will and that he was going to report the other guy to The Dean and then... he called me... a fag.” By the time Kit has finished his explanation Tessa is both furious and heartbroken. How dare anyone treat her son like that?! It is unacceptable and she will not stand for it.

“Oh Kit, my baby I am so sorry that happened to you, did you happen to hear the others boys name? The one who used that slur?” Tessa gently asks, running her hands through Kit’s thick blonde hair, like she use to do with Jamie when he was upset. 

“I think I heard the guy I was flirting with call him Jonah, when I was walking away, I don’t know his last name though.” Kit quietly says. That experience had really messed with him, it was his first time experiencing homophobia, when he was living with his father, he was still in the closet, he had only come out a few months ago.

“First thing tomorrow Jem and I are going to report this to Alec, I know reporting it directly to The Academy will be useless, The Dean has given herself a reputation for being too layed back when it comes to dealing with bullying, Alec, Jem and I will sort this out and make sure it never happens to you or anyone else again, you can come with us if you like or you can stay here, it’s entirely up to you.” Tessa softly explains.

“You really don’t have to do that Tess, especially when you’re almost due.” Kit hurriedly says, not wanting to stress Tessa and Jem out and cause trouble for them.

“Christopher we want to, it’s our job as your parents to protect you and keep you safe, I won’t have you being harassed and bullied for your sexuality, my friends and family back in the 1800s were more accepting of LGBTQ+ people then some of The Clave are now, it’s ridiculous and I will not stand for it.” Tessa firmly says. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, did you know anyone who was LGBTQ+, back then?” Kit curiously asks. 

“Oh plenty, my niece Anna was gay and non-binary, my nephew Matthew, who was Jamie’s parabatia, was bi, my Lucie was bi and her parabatia Cordelia was pan like you, my nephew Thomas was gay and my nephew Christopher was asexual, Will was bisexual too and so is Jem.” Tessa tells him, knowing that Jem will not mind her telling Kit about his sexuality, especially when it will make him more comfortable about his own sexuality. 

“So basically your whole family was gay as hell?” Kit asks in a joking tone. Tessa laughs and nods. 

“Basically yes, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way, I love and love them all exactly as they were, I wouldn’t change a hair on their heads, nor yours.” Tessa softly says, going back to playing with Kit’s hair. 

“Can you tell me a story Tess?” Kit quietly asks. Though Kit is very much a typical teenager, sometimes Tessa forgets he had a pretty bad childhood and his father was pretty negligent when it came to love and care, the poor boy probably never had someone read to him or tell him a story, probably never had someone hold him when he had a nightmare or cuddle him to sleep, not after Rosemary left anyway. 

“What kind of story?” Tessa asks in an equally quiet tone. 

“Something happy.” 

“How about I tell you about the day William and I got married?” Tessa feels Kit nod and launches into her story. After about 10 minutes, Tessa feels Kit’s breathing even out and he becomes still, no longer fidgeting with his hands. For a while Tessa stays there, gazing at him and stroking his hair, before she carefully stands up, trying her best not to disrupt Kit. Once she’s off the sofa, Tessa places a blanket over her son and softly kisses his forehead. 

“Goodnight my sweet boy, I love you.” She quietly says, before quietly turning and making her way back to bed. 

_______________________________________________________________

*THE NEXT DAY*

When Tessa had contacted Alec asking if she, Jem and Kit could come speak to him about something today, he had told her that they were were more than welcome to and would find he and Magnus at the New York Institute with Max and Rafe. They had quickly portaled there and had been immediately ambushed with hugs and question by Rafe and Max. 

Currently, Magnus is in the drawing room with the boys, and Tessa, Jem, Kit and Alec are sitting in Jace and Clary’s office. Kit felt like he was at a parent-teacher meeting for school, not that his father had ever attended any of those of course.

“So what is it you want to talk to me about? Do you want a Clave Medic to be there when your baby is born? You know that though you’re not officially part of The Clave, you’ll still always have our help, right?” Alec asks Tessa and Jem. Normally those who distant themselves from The Clave give up all their rights to help from them but Alec changed that law almost immediately after he became Consul.

“Yes we know that, thank you but that’s not what we want to talk to you about.” Tessa gently says. 

“Um, I-I’m going to go sit in with Magnus and the kids, is that okay mom?” Kit nervously asks, not wanting to have to recount the situation again, Tessa knows every little detail about it and if Alec has questions for him, he can ask him later. 

“Of course baby, whatever makes you comfortable.” Tessa gently says. Alec gives them a quizzical looks but says nothing until Kit has left the room.

“What’s going on? Is Kit okay?” Alec asks in a concerned tone. 

“Well... he’s had some trouble with a student from The Academy.” Tessa says.

“The Academy? But Kit doesn’t attend The Academy.” Alec says in a tone of confusion.

“No but I took him to visit last week in case he does decide to attend, one day.” Jem explains. 

“I see, what happened?” Alec curiously asks. 

“Well... basically Kit was flirting with another boy and after a while another boy came along and started saying awful things about homosexuality being a sin and other crap, he then proceeded to call Kit one of the worst slurs an LGBT person can be called, I’m sure you know what I mean, I refuse to repeat it.” Tessa says.

“Yes I know what one you mean, not that I mind you coming straight to me, but why did you not bring this to The Dean of The Academy first?” Alec asks, trying to hide the horror and disgust in his tone.

“Well because she has a reputation for being very layed back when it comes to dealing with bullying, anytime James or myself have guest lectured there we have heard children talking about the fact that The Dean does absolutely nothing about bullying, I would think it is the reason so many are choosing not to attend The Academy now.” Tessa explains.

“By The Angel I thought she was a good candidate for the position, but I was clearly mistaken and she will be out of a job in a few hours, did Kit find out the boy’s name? The one who called him a slur word?” Alec asks, mentally kicking himself for not offering Diana the position of Dean like he first wanted to.

“He heard his first name, Jonah, but not his last name.” Jem calmly says. 

“I’ll try them all by the mortal sword if I have to, I will not stand for that kind of behavior and I am so sorry Kit had to go through that, you know it’s my aim to make every Shadowhunter feel safe, loved and accepted regardless of who they are.” Alec firmly says. 

“Yes we do and that’s why we came straight to you, we knew you would deal with the problem straight away.” Tessa says, feeling herself relax now that she knows this problem will be dealt with. 

After they leave the office, Tessa and Jem head to the drawing room where they find Kit sitting in the middle of the floor playing with Max and Rafe. 

“They absolutely adore him Tess, I think he reminds them of Jace.” Magnus quietly says to Tessa, leaning back against the wall and watching his sons and Kit.

“He’s going to be a wonderful big brother.” Tessa softly says, placing a hand on her swollen stomach. 

“Yes he is.” Jem quietly says, slipping his arm around Tessa’s waist. 

A few minutes later Tessa feels a strong pain hit her, and almost instantly recognizes the feeling. 

“Jem.” Tessa quietly says. Jem turns to look at her with a quizzical look on his face. “I think I’m having contractions.” Jem’s eyes widen in shock and he immediately turns to Jace who has just come into the room.

“Jace, can you summon The Silent Brothers?” Jem asks in a calm tone. 

“Sure, is everything okay?” Jace asks. Lowering his voice so as not to alert Kit and cause him to freak out, Jem says

“Tessa thinks she’s having contractions.” Jace’s eyes widen and he hurries out of the drawing room to summon The Silent Brothers. 

Jem quickly helps Tessa up to the infirmary and helps her change and settle into one of the small beds lined against the wall. 

10 minutes later Brother Enoch arrives and after a brief examination confirms that Tessa is in labor. Not long after that her waters break, though her labor progresses slowly. Right now she is leaning back against the pillows pilled behind her, trying to breath through the pains and grasping Jem’s hand tightly. 

“Jem, I’m scared.” Tessa says in a tearful tone, wincing as another contraction hits her. She hasn’t been pregnant or given birth in over 100 years, she’s terrified that something will go wrong or something will happen to her or the baby.

“Why?” Jem quietly asks, brushing her hair back from her sweaty face.

“Because I haven’t done this in so long and Lucie’s delivery was so difficult, I’m so scared that this one will be even worse and something will happen to me or the baby.” Tessa sobs. She has been scared of this through her whole pregnancy, but decided to keep it to herself so as to not to scare Jem, this is his first baby, his first time being a father, she wants him to enjoy her pregnancy and not be terrified and worried every step of the way, like she and Will were when she was pregnant with Jamie. 

“Oh Tess, I understand, but with Lucie things were more complicated because there was such a small age gap between her and Jamie, you hadn’t properly healed from Jamie’s birth, looking back you probably should have been given a C-section. Things are going to be much different this time my love, you’ve had a really smooth and healthy pregnancy, everything will be alright, I promise everything will be okay.” Jem’s soothing voice relaxes Tessa and puts her at ease, as it always has, and she begins to feel her worries easing. 

A few hours later Tessa feels the urge to push, and little Cordelia wastes no time in making her grand entrance. Tessa leans back into the pillows, breathing heavily and clutching Jem’s hand tightly and feeling relief beyond words as she listens to her daughter cry. 

“Is she okay?” Tessa asks Brother Enoch in a weak tone. 

Yes she is in perfect health. Brother Enoch assures her, before picking Cordelia up and passing her to Tessa. 

As Tessa gazes down at her daughter in awe, tears of joy rolling down her face, she feels an intense pain hit her, much more intense than the pain of afterbirth usually is. Tessa grimaces as the pain becomes more intense and clutches her stomach. 

“Tess, what’s wrong?” Jem asks in a tone full of concern, noticing the pain on his wife’s face.

“I-I don’t know, I feel like I’m still having full on contractions.” Tessa says in a strained tone, clutching her stomach with one hand and holding tightly onto Cordelia with the other. 

“Brother Enoch do you know what’s happening?” Jem asks in an anxious tone, gently gathering Cordelia into his arms when the look of pain on Tessa’s face intensifies. 

I cannot explain how we did not notice this but it seems that you were carrying twins, Tessa, and your daughter’s sibling is coming right now.  Brother Enoch tells them, shocking Tessa and Jem to their core.

“T-twins? How? We had check ups with The Brothers and scans with Catarina Loss, everyone said it was only one baby, just Cordelia.” Jem stammers in a tone of disbelief. 

As I said James, I cannot explain how we did not notice, perhaps this second child has inherited some of Tessa’s powers and was able to make themselves unnoticeable, one thing I do know is that this child is coming right now, you must push Tessa. Brother Enoch says.

Tessa takes a shaky breath, grips Jem’s hand and starts to push again. After about 5 minutes of pushing, Tessa feels a weight lift off her followed closely by a sharp wail.

“Is my baby okay?” Tessa asks in an anxious tone, pushing herself up in the bed, trying to get a glimpse of her baby. 

Yes you have a very healthy son. Brother Enoch tells them, wrapping the baby up and passing him to Tessa.

“Oh a boy, another boy.” Tessa quietly says, placing her son on her chest at the same time as Jem lowers Cordelia onto her chest. Both babies are a perfect mixture of their parents, Cordelia has Jem’s pallor, bone structure, hair color and eye shape while she has Tessa’s nose and mouth shape (and as they would later discover, her eye color too.) Their baby boy also has Jem’s bone structure and pallor as well as his hair color, while he has Tessa’s eye shape, mouth shape and nose shape (and they would later discover that he has beautiful big brown eyes just like Jem.) 

“By The Angel, they’re absolutely perfect.” Jem softly says, looking at his wife and twin babies in awe. He could hardly believe it, three children, he has three children, two boys and a girl.

“What should call our baby boy?” Tessa asks in a hoarse voice, lightly kissing her son’s head. 

“William of course.” Jem softly says. He and Tessa had never discussed boy names during her pregnancy as they had found out the sex almost straight away, but they both knew that if they ever had a boy they would name him William, they had always known that.

“William Henry?” Tessa asks, looking up at Jem with eyes full of love. Jem smiles and nods. 

“Cordelia Emma Carstairs and William Henry Carstairs.” 

After about half an hour of snuggling her beautiful babies, Tessa agrees to let Jem take them downstairs to introduce them to everyone instead of having anyone come up to the infirmary and crowd Tessa when she is so tired and not feeling her best. 

With both babies cradled in his arms, Jem carefully makes his way into the drawing room where everyone has been waiting. Kit is the first to look up when he hears footsteps enter the room, and does a double take when he sees that Jem is holding two babies. 

“J-Jem I.... two babies?!” Kit asks in a tone of shock, hardly able to believe his eyes. Jem chuckles and says

“Yes two babies, twins, a boy and a girl.” 

“You never told us it was twins!” Magnus exclaims. 

“We didn’t know either until little William here started making his way into the world, Brother Enoch thinks Will has inherited some of Tessa’s powers and was able to make himself unnoticeable in the womb.” Jem explains. 

“Is Tessa okay?” Clary asks in a tone of concern. 

“Yes she’s fine, she’s tired and still in quiet a bit of pain but she’s okay.” Jem says. 

“Uncle Jem, I hold babies?” Max pipes up. He had been so excited to have one cousin and now he has two, he feels like he could explode with joy and excitement. 

“Well why don’t we let Kit hold them first, then you and Rafe can hold them, okay?” Jem gently asks.

“Okay!” Max says.

Jem makes his way over to Kit and helps him to cradle and support each baby, one in each arm, he can tell Kit is extremely nervous but also extremely excited. 

“Cordelia and William, are those their names?” Kit asks, looking from his siblings to his father. 

“Yes Cordelia Emma and William Henry.” Jem gently says, taking a seat on the sofa next to Kit. 

“They’re perfect.” Kit quietly says, bending to softly kiss his baby siblings on the forehead, his heart swelling with love for them and joy at the fact that he finally has a family. 

________________________________________________________________ *16 years later.*

It is a cold winter’s day in 2029 and Kit is just packing up his overnight back after he and Ty (who are now married and living together in a small cozy home in LA) spent the last few nights here in Devon for the twins’ 16th birthday. He could hardly believe his baby siblings were 16 now, it felt like just yesterday that Jem had walked into The Institute drawing room with two babies in his arms, announcing that Tessa had been pregnant with twins all along. They still didn’t know how Will had managed to keep himself totally hidden in the womb, even The Silent Brothers had no idea he was there. The twins’ powers hadn’t come through yet, they showed no signs of having any but Tessa had said that her daughter Lucie’s powers had only come to light when she was about 16, so it may be the same for the twins. 

Kit is pulled from his thoughts by a knock on the door. He turns from packing his bag, to see Cordelia standing in the doorway, fiddling with the end of her shirt. 

“Hey Cordy, what’s up?” Kit lightly asks. 

“Kitty... can I talk to you?” Cordelia quietly asks. When they were little Cordelia and Will always called Kit ‘Kitty’ and to this day Cordelia still often uses the nickname, which Kit thinks is absolutely adorable, though he would never let anyone else besides Cordelia or Will call him that.

“Of course, is everything okay?” Kit asks, patting the space next to him on his bed. 

“Yeah I just... Kit how did you know you’re pansexual?” Cordelia asks him. Kit raises an eyebrow at her in surprise, this was not a question he was expecting her to ask. 

“I’m not really sure to be honest Delia, I figured it out when I was about 15, I just kind of noticed that I found people attractive regardless of their gender, at first I thought I was bi but then I met this person at the Shadow Market, they were a warlock, looked about my age but god knows how old they really were. Anyway, this person presented androgynous, which I had no idea about at the time. We got to talking and they told me they identified as non-binary or more specifically gender-fluid. I hung around with them a lot at the Shadow Market and after a while I realized I had a huge crush on them. I guess that’s when I realized I’m attracted to people regardless of gender, really.” Kit explains as best he can. “Why do you ask?” He adds. 

“I... Kit, I’m bi and I don’t know how to come out to mum and dad and Will, can you help me?” 

Stayed tuned for part 2 where Kit helps Cordelia understand her sexuality and helps her come out to the family!