#he n Skip have that conversation that’s genuinely so sweet and kind. and 6 literally trusts Skip so much that after having JUST realized 9-

[archersartcorner]

Am rewatching ASO cus I love it a whole lot and got to the brain surgery scene again. I love how fucking unhinged this season is, genuinely. Let’s just do brain surgery!!!!! Why not!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lunasaturnine]

Vienna and cultural trauma

WOW so cool to sign into tumblr and see 99+ notifications, and think “oh a post got some attention,” but it’s actually just general attention!

My astro blog is ready for some action! Or maybe ppl are just bored bc of the quarantine. Either way, it would be cool to write.

I want to write about VIENNA.

I just took a course about somatic healing of trauma and it gave me a good overview of how trauma recovery works. Chapter 1 of trauma recovery is gathering resources. Chapter 2 is dipping or oscillating back into the memory, whether it’s a clear memory or just something held hidden in your body, with your new resources, and allowing circles to complete. Chapter 3 is being bigger bigger brighter in the world !!! (It’s a nice course, it’s on somatopia.com, it costs $40 if you have that to throw around, it’s like 2 hours of videos of a nice man talking in a soothing voice in intelligent language about healing from trauma)

Now I’m thinking about cultural trauma and Vienna. I have long felt that helping to heal the Hitler wound of Vienna is one of my soul’s major dharmic thrusts. So I googled “healing cultural trauma” and most resources out there talk about the trauma of the victim culture. That kind of trauma is totally different, because it recommends amplifying the traditions and greatnesses of the culture, and when you’re a cultural perpetrator of violence, amplifying the greatness of your culture is a trigger because cultural superiority is what lead your culture to be violent. But there are still a lot of resources with a lot of valuable information. I’ve only skimmed a couple things so far and it seems like one thing people emphasize in cultural healing is human connectedness.

The internet is a little hard to navigate on this topic, but I found an NYT editorial called “I loved my grandmother but she was a Nazi.” The author’s sweet grandma was literally a Nazi but she was a nice person who didn’t hate Jews. When the author talked to her about it, she would deflect. “He said a lot of things, I didn’t listen to them all” and “I was caught up in my own life” etc. The author says, that’s bullshit, there’s something she’s avoiding, and I can’t understand what it is or why she’s doing it, and I’m hesitant to say this because it might seem like I’m trying to forgive Naziism but I’m really just trying to understand who I look at when I look at my grandmother. It’s the most direct address of the West’s Nazi wound that I’ve found in my two and a half minutes of searching on google and I think it’s on the nose.

In the readmore are my more concrete thoughts on potential resources for Western/German/Viennese healing, and thoughts about what working through phase 2 would look like for a perpetrator culture.

Resources

On this reddit post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/history/comments/5nfqwp/my_grandmother_grew_up_in_nazi_germany/

there are some resources. First of all, 1. there are people from diverse backgrounds respective to WWII, coming together and talking as equals in the same kind of “room.” The descendants of the persecuted and the persecutors are together and they are not enemies. The knowledge, and SOMATIC FEELING EXPERIENCE, of that, can be  a resource. I am typing over this brusquely and that’s Mercury magic for you and you should know that I just burst into sobs. That in just a couple of generations, the grandsons and daughters of enemies can be together and not hate each other and even love each other is an immense resource and can be leaned into at any point. There is a vast well of cultural relief available here. My tears are thankful, grateful tears, tears of relief. I am thinking of the parks in vienna that are holocaust memorial parks. I am thinking of that horrible statue out in front of the Albertina that is a memorial to cultural violence but at the same time, also represents the trapped soul of the Perpetrator culture, since we are all One. In the same way that a piece of music which opens with a terrifying chord represents both the terror experienced by the terrorized, and the menace of the terrorizer, AND THE FEELINGS IN THE terrorizer that caused them to generate this chord... off on a tangent, and I’m not sobbing anymore! That was crazy. I have a tendency to lock my feelings up, but being alone in this house and in this quarantine, I can open up locked wells of feeling like that.

That resource is IMMENSE, and it’s RIGHT in front of our faces all the time. I took a class on 20th century germany in undergrad, and the professor was a young guy with a Nazi grandfather, well I’m not sure if he was a Nazi but he was a German soldier, and he remarked on it. And I think at the time I thought “how lovely” but if you sit with that feeling, it’s deep as hell. And if you sit with it from the perspective of a penitent perpetrator, it’s REALLY FUCKING DEEP.

So that’s available. Im gonna post this real quick as a way of saving the draft but I have more ideas.

Okay. Continuing,

Resource 2 also from reddit post

The top respondent says his German POW uncle had a British GF. That’s similar to the first resource, but more immediate. I’m sure there are lots of stories like that. Intercultural experience that nullifies certain tensions

Resource 3 also from reddit post

The stories of people who did do the right thing... maybe. I dont know. I’ll get off this post soon but it’s interesting. Idk if this counts as a resource, it’s kind of a tangent, but the more I learn about karma and trans-life inheritance of it, the more it seems true that it really is better to die living in line with your beliefs than to live safely. Like the person in Pweuy’s post. That father died but his karma was pristine as far as this was concerned and perpetrator trauma did not cling to him.

ok jesus this is an interesting post... the girl skipping over the river of blood as it trickled out of the asylum... the hitler youth boy befriending a lamb and the nazis slaughtering it in front of him... the russian soldier who guarded the german girl because she reminded him of her daughter...

Okay. Before I go on, I want to clarify that I am not specifically talking about people who held Nazi beliefs in their core. There is a special type of perpetrator injury that is specific to that kind of thing, true villains and terrorists. I’m talking more about “ordinary Germans” who didn’t think very hard and got swept along, moderate supporters to moderate resisters. As a culture, they were moved by the tides into Naziism. They have culpability, but not the exact same kind of culpability as perpetrator people. The culture moved to perpetrate these crimes, and they were a part of that culture. That’s the specific kind of wound I’m interested in healing. There is a poster on that page whose grandma really loved Hitler...

Ok! I spent a lot of my energy in that page, now its 10PM and I still have veggies to prepare. I need energy for this next thing I was going to talk about.

Resource 4 - this one specific coffee shop

I’m putting *s in its name because I like this blog anonymous. P*****n is a coffee shop in Vienna that is the only happy place I went. There were places that were ok... and fine... maybe pleasant... but this place was American levels of happy. Waiters danced around and were actually relaxed and happy. P*****n’s theme is intergenerational communication. It hires grandmothers to work behind the counter, and make pies, and you’re supposed to buy a slice of their pie and talk to them a bit. And then the waiters are young, and they communicate with the Omas. And the Omas are maybe not old enough to have been Nazis but their parents were.

They also include a bit in all their menus about intergenerational dialogue and wondering what more they can do and how they can be more of a space for it.

I had MANY genuinely pleasant little experiences there... and I think that little space that some person with a vision made, is a blossoming flowerpot with lots of healing energy where true dialogue could happen. So that could be a resource too. The happiness of that place. In fact, these conversations could happen there.

But I wouldn’t want to break the space. The course I just took talked about titration, which is just accessing a TINY part of the traumatic memory, so you don’t get overwhelmed. This is a very icy fucked up conversation for a lot of people. My Viennese friend told me to talk more quietly about it than I was. Actually I did talk about it there with some people! The German girl was surprised that I thought Vienna had a wound. So was the Irish girl actually. For other people it’s really evident. My Viennese friend. D**n. Rf: “it’s ALL I feel when I am there.” ME. God that conversation was sooo gentle and sweet and light. The Irish girl was wondering if she should move to Vienna or stay in Barcelona, and the three of us talked about Vienna nd it was SOOOOO LOVELY, holy BALLS.

But even if we don’t hold conversations there exactly, that could be a really good place for conversation to start. I could reach out to the people who run the shop to ask them about it. And then maybe conversations could happen in other places (don’t want to spoil the sweetness of the shop).

Resource 5 - personal as I investigate maybe not really a resource - but yes maybe it is a resource: Grounded, comfortable people who are Viennese, and who understand the goals and also understand the sensitivities of Viennese people more than I do; 

Resource 6 - people who are experts at cultural healing in victim cultures

Resource 7 - fostering dialogue between those two parties, also me.

Again I’m really playing fast and loose with the idea of resources. Maybe. We’re starting to move into phase 2, also, because with this dialogue, I want to open up some scripts for how to TITRATE sensitively.

phase 2

For instance, notice that I didn’t say something like “Remembering Vienna’s amazing heritage of incredible music that has the power to redeem and heal equal to and more accessibly than religions.” I think it’s true that Viennese music is a major healing resource (BEETHOVENSCHUBERTMOZARSKLTBSLJRTHBLEWSKJNS:OFDFD), but since it is bound up in Viennese identity, that notion is complex. Also, it’s not only that Viennese identity is nasty because it’s nazi and therefore that gives Schubert etc a dark tint, but also, the grand things that Vienna has contributed to western culture are now a part of Vienna’s current wound of degradation, cheapification, and humiliation by TOURISM. although I will say that I think Resource 8 should be MY OWN deep internalization of the healing power of Viennese music. Posting again to save...

...not only does that music help me be healed, but it also helps me understand healing process in the specific language of the culture i’m interested in

okay.  Phase 2. 

A picture of what I think sorta needs to happen

I think Omas that say “It was just a lot of talk, we ignored it” and “I was busy in my life”... I think what needs to happen for a perp culture is for them to actually own their part in the villainy, to claim it and stand in it and feel the pain, and say “I’m SORRY, this was HORRIBLE, I AM SORRY.” THIS WILL ALLOW THEM TO BECOME NEW!!!!!!!

That’s a v different healing process from like native american healing etc.

I really think somatic approach is a better road in than cognitive because, god, imagine cognizing all of this HORRIBLE SIN bit by bit knowing your culture perpetrated it and not having anyone to blame it on. Jesus.

How might the process of getting there look?

This is vague especially now that I don’t have that burst of energy. Conversations...

Here’s a question. After resource gathering.

“Knowing that bells rang for Hitler in Vienna, how does it feel to be Viennese?” IN YOUR BODY?

Damn THAT’S GOOD! THAT’S THE FUNDAMENTAL QUESTION. How does it feel to be Viennese? The goal is for it to feel OK.

Um, speaking specifically about Wiener trauma and their welcoming of Hitler, a few years ago, I read this in some guidebook, Vienna’s government acknowledged that they welcomed Hitler and that they were wrong, and investigating that is important for my mission. It’s cool because 1. it’s a Big Ol Step and 2. it lays groundwork for all of this.

Step 3 is really beautiful to think about. In the course I took, it’s where the instructor got out of his soothing calm neutral demeanor and started speaking passionately and bursting with smiles.

In addition to being able to be more firmly grounded in their own individual and cultural identities...

Okay, so, I’m drawn to this because I’m drawn to it, punkt. That’s all. But also, and I think I’m really late on the uptake here, I think I was due in Vienna many years ago, I think that whatever work I do in Vienna is helpful for the echoes of Naziism in today’s world, such as Trumpism (which does not...exactly... have the same kinds of premises but uses a lot of the same kinds of mecahnisms) and actual brazen nationalism, white supremicism, and far right movements. Hitler is a LOUD and REVERBERANT figure in our history for this kind of energy, and if we can do healing surrounding him, re-discovering resilience in the moderates, helping them go through the emotional journey they need to go through, they will be a beautiful resonant horn call from the past, a solid core of NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that will strengthen the culture of the entire FUCKING world.

Music will be a part of it.

I have always loved Vienna, and I can’t really analyze it. I love it like a girlfriend. I know she’s problematic. And she can be really really horrible.

The wound is deep. The horribleness, the life negating quality not only of the FUCKING WRETCHED SHOP CLERKS, but also of the WAY -- THINGS -- HAPPEN, of the overall weird ass SPIRIT in Vienna, is... God DAMN WHY do I like that city so much? It’s bizarre. It’s very pervasive. I don’t enjoy experiencing it, I don’t think it’s attractive, I don’t like it. I love Vienna THROUGH that wound. I REALLY LOVE Vienna. That’s one of the clearest things that I know in my heart. I love Vienna... and that’s the whole story. It’s one of the easiest things for me to say.

Lots of people love a city. We do it for reasons. I think our hearts are drawn where they are drawn because we are attracted to healing the specific karmas of places. The karma of my hometown is mainly racial, with native american underneath. The coffee shop that is equivalent to P*****n serves often as a place of racial conversation and healing. It is actually pretty amazing. And once there was a white supremacist with a gun there and he stood up on a table and let people see his gun. He didn’t yell or anything. But that vital thing happened there in that coffee shop.

Excuse me I also love coffee shops and Vienna is the land of coffee shops.

Okay. I love Vienna! I literally love Vienna, with my heart. I love Vienna.

One last thing. I’m saving then editing...

The postscript: A major resource, and it kinda sidesteps some things, is language. It will be much better if German is spoken in these conversations. When I went to Vienna last, I didn’t prepare my German because when I went to Vienna first, everyone spoke English and it was simply easier to speak English all the time, so I figured I wouldn’t try to give the illusion and disappoint. But lo... the native people really, really resent it if you don’t even try to speak German. They actually seem to experience it as an injury. It is wild, if you’re not expecting it.

ALL OVER VIENNA I saw the Graffiti stamp/brand, “Tourism is terrorism.” 

When I was in the airport and the cute customs dudes asked me the purpose of my visit, I said “TOURISM” and they laughed. That was fun. But it was a lie. I was a pilgrim. I... know I was a tourist, technically. But I felt such hatred for the tourists standing like apes in front of the Schubert statue in the Stadtpark. Their wretched selfie smiles plastered on top of the emptiness of their experience. My purpose in Vienna had nothing in common with theirs. And I claim that I didn’t do a lot of the tourist things - not many museums or concerts or whatever.

One of my more pleasant memories was going into a used book shop and asking about a book in the window, a German-language edition of the tao te ching from 1923 (a very strange time). I asked in English. The clerk was confused and asked if I spoke German, and I answered in German that I spoke some German, but was learning, and knew the TTC very well, and that it’s simply usually easier to speak in English. I might have used imperfect German, but I felt dignified and natural doing it.

Ok, not only the German language, but the quiet Viennese demeanor of Scorpiness. Scorpscorpscorpscorp. Quiet, observant, emotional, and responsive to gentle tenderness and consideration, and traumatized by brashness. 

Both the spoken language, and the language of the demeanor, I think are somatic approaches that sidestep cognitive...things and make the culture feel unconsciously accepted and open.

On my first trip I learned howwwwww AMERICAN I was, and then on my second trip I opened myself up to my inner Wiener and was quiet and scorpy, and I felt warmth emerge from the people and city in response. It felt really right, and it felt like i was honoring...her, and it felt um sort of romantic. ha 

[steviemae]

babysitter // sp - pt.6

babysitter masterlist.

After remembering Betty’s slight obsession with figuring out who the black hood is, you hurried over to Sweet Pea who was talking to Toni and Fangs.

“Hey, y/n.” Fangs greeted.

“Hey, you guys haven’t seen Betty and Jug today, have you?” You asked. They both shook their head, “i’ll help you look for them.” Sweet Pea said standing up and grabbing his bag.

“We’ll see you guys at lunch.” you waved over your shoulder at the two of them.

“So why do you need to find Betty and Jones?” He asked as you maneuvered around the groups of people. Sweet Pea walked in front of you to gently push people out of the way. You grabbed Sweet Pea’s hand so you wouldn’t lose him in the crowds of people, still feeling kind of anxious walking the halls.

“They both have been working to figure out this black hood mess. I don’t know if i want to tell them what happened, but i do want to hear what they know.” Sweet Pea nodded, giving your hand and gentle squeeze in reassurance. You bumped into Veronica in your search for Bughead, “V, have you seen Betty and/or Jughead anywhere?”

“I saw them in the Blue and Gold room when i passed earlier. But a more interesting question, what’s this?” She motioned to your and Pea’s hands connected at your side. You ignored her question turning to Pea, “Maybe i should wait until lunch to talk to them.” You mumbled only for him to hear.

“What did i tell you last night, y/n?” Sweet Pea gave your hand a squeeze.

“That you weren’t going to let anything happen to me. And i believe you, i just don’t want to go back into that room right now.” You whispered playing with Pea’s fingers to distract you from the anxiety that’s slowly creeping up.

“Then we won’t. First class is about to start anyway, wouldn’t want Miss honor roll to be late.” He said making a smile creep onto your face.

“You’re right. I have the reputation of Riverdale’s good girl to uphold. Running around with a Serpent these last few weeks sure put a damper on that though.” Sweet Pea stepped closer to you moving a strand of hair behind your ear, leaning his head down to let his warm breath fan over your neck before moving so his lips were right at your ear, “I didn’t hear you complaining about running with a Serpent tucked in my bed this morning.” The low drag of his voice sent shivers down your spine. You completely forgot Veronica was standing there until her voice broke up the moment, “Okay seriously, what the hell is this?” She sounded amused and genuinely shocked.

“Nothing.” You both said in unison stepping away from each other and letting your hands fall to your sides. Veronica crossed her arms giving you a sly smirk, not believing a word.

“You call that sensual ear whisper that made you shiver, nothing?” She pushed. From behind V’s shoulder you saw Betty’s blonde pony tail swaying as she walked to her locker.

“Gotta go, V.” You said grabbing Pea’s hand again dragging him behind you towards Betty.

“This conversation isn’t over, y/f/n!” She yelled after you.

“Betty! I need to talk to you.” You exclaimed when you finally reached her.

“Yeah, sure. What’s up, y/n?” She asked as she put her books in her locker. “Not here. Pop’s after school?” You suggested hoping she’d say yes.

“Sure. I was planning on texting you to go over some Blue and Gold stuff anyways and by the looks of it we need to catch up on some things.” She said noticing yours and Sweet Pea’s hands still connected. You quickly let go, “It’s not what you think, but i’ll drive. I’ll find you during free period. We can get to Pop’s before the after school rush.” You gave her a quick hug before you turned to walk back to the lounge, “Oh,” You said spinning around to face Betty again, “Bring Jug, too. I’ll need both of you.” Betty gave you a nod and you parted ways.

After every class, Sweet pea was waiting for you by the door to walk you to your next class. The bell rang ending your last class of the day before your free period. Sweet Pea still had one more class before school ended and was now pestering you about going to Pop’s without him.

“I’m going with Betty and Jughead is meeting us there so technically i’m not breaking any rules. Jughead is a Serpent and Betty’s riding with me so i won’t be alone. You’re not skipping class. I promise i’ll call if anything happens during that time. You, Toni and Fangs can meet us there after your final class. ”

“Fine. Johnny wants to talk to you too. He’s worried about you and wants to hear that you’re okay from you and not me.” He said giving up the argument he started. You nodded, both of you walking to the office where Betty said she’d meet you.

Pop’s was a ghost town during this time of day which made it an even better place to have this conversation with Jughead and Betty. You didn’t have to worry about eavesdroppers listening in. Jughead was already there, typing away on his laptop.

“I ordered us some burgers and of course, chicken tenders for the beef hater that is y/f/n. They should be out soon.” He said as we sat down. You chuckled, “Milkshakes too, i hope?”

“Of course!” He said closing his laptop and putting it in his bag. “Now what made you call this meeting?”

“I, um, wanted to know what you guys knew about the black hood?” You said quietly.

“Why the sudden interest?” Betty asked.

“I was at the school Sunday to get the layouts done for the events page of the Blue and Gold and this was left on my laptop.” You pulled out the manila folder and slid it across the table. Jug and Betty looked at each other before Betty grabbed the folder and pulled the contents out.

“y/n, oh my god.” She whispered looking at you with full concern in her eyes.

“I know. And i’ve been wracking my brain trying to figure out why me but i’ve got nothing. I don’t know what sin i’ve committed. That’s why i came to you guys.” You ran your fingers through your hair, grabbing the folder as Jug handed it to you and shoved it back in your bag. Pop brought your food out and you continued the conversation as you ate.

“You’re literally the poster child for all things good. Your family is normal from what we know. Maybe it goes deeper? What do you know about your parents?” Jughead asked.

“They’re both dead and my Aunt has full legal custody of me. There was a house fire and the smoke detectors weren’t hooked up properly. The Sheriff said by the time they woke up and realized there was a fire, it was too late and they couldn’t get out. I was with Tessa that night.” You explained leaving out the part about having an older brother. No one knew and it wasn’t in any of your records thanks to Johnny’s connections. Any trace of you and him being related was wiped from all records. Of course, Jughead knew, being a Serpent and all. But he played along.

“You should talk to your Aunt. Maybe there’s more to the story. You may not have sinned, but your parent’s might have and since they’re not here, the black hood is carrying their sins over to you. It’s a long shot, but i wouldn’t put it past this guy.” Betty said. She grabbed your hand in hers across the table, “if you need anything, you can always call me, y/n. Jug and i will be here for you. You don’t have to do this alone.”

“Thanks, B.”

“Now onto the brighter side of things, what’s going on with you and Sweet Pea?” She asked giving you teasing smile.

“Um, we’re friends. We’ve gotten closer these last few weeks. He’s the one who came to the school when the black hood locked me in the Blue and Gold room. I called him because i knew he would be close and he made sure i got home safe.” You heard the rumbling of motorcycles from outside, looking out the window to see Toni, Fangs and Sweet Pea pull up.

“Speak of the devil and he shall appear.” Jughead joked causing you and Betty to laugh. “Also, maybe talk to Archie. He’s been helping us and he was up close and personal with the black hood. He might know some more. Him and V did a little investigating when FP got out so Jug and i could plan for his party.” You gave Betty a nod making a mental note to call Archie soon.

“Betty. Jones.” Sweet Pea greeted, “Princess, how’s it going?” He asked sliding in next to you. Fangs and Toni sat at the bar next to your table and turned the face the group.

“Not much. I need to use the ladies room.” Sweet Pea stood up to let you slide out of the booth, “Toni, come with?” You asked giving her a look that said she was coming whether she wanted to or not.

“So i saw you and Cheryl at the Bijou having a pretty intimate conversation. What was that about?” You asked leaning against the sinks.

“I don’t know. She looked lonely and upset so i went over. Fangs ditched me so i thought, what’s the worst that could happen. We ended up watching the movie together and going to Pop’s afterwards and she actually isn’t a terror to be around.”

“Oh my god. Does Toni Topaz have a crush on Riverdale’s bombshell?” You teased smiling widely.

“Does Riverdale’s good girl have a crush on the Southside badass.” She fired back, crossing her arms over her chest looking quite pleased with herself.

“I don’t have a crush. He’s just been really sweet given the circumstance and he saved me yesterday. He really does live up to his nickname.” You said truthfully.

“Mmhmm.” Toni hummed not believing you.

“Okay. maybe a little crush.” You confessed.

“Ha! I knew it.” She laughed.

“Okay, i confessed. Your turn, T. Do you have a crush on the ginger goddess?” It was your turn to cross your arms and stare at Toni as she thought of a way to avoid answering your question.

“Maybe.” She mumbled, you pretended you didn’t hear her. Putting your hand up to your ear and turning your head so your ear was in her direction, “What was that? I didn’t quite hear you.” You smiled slightly when she groaned.

“Okay, yes. I may have developed a tiny crush on Cheryl, but you cannot tell anyone. Promise?” She held out her pinky. You wrapped yours around hers, “i won’t tell a single soul as long as you keep my confession to yourself as well.” You compromised. She nodded in agreement and you unhooked your pinkies.

“Let’s get back out there before Sweet Pea barges in here thinking something happened to you.” She said linking her arm with yours. Walking out of the bathroom and back to the booth, you noticed Betty had left and Fangs took her spot in the booth.

“Finally, we have to go.” Pea said standing up. You nodded remembering that Johnny wanted to meet you.

“Can we make a pit stop first?” You asked. Sweet Pea nodded without asking where or what you needed to do. You knew he was going to be pissed when you pulled up to the Andrew’s house. Pea tossed Toni the keys to his bike to take back to his trailer. Her’s was in the shop she she rode to Pop’s with Fangs and agreed to take his bike back to Sunnyside.

Pulling up to Archie’s house, Sweet Pea groaned from the passenger seat.

“Behave please. I’m only here to ask him about the black hood. It was Betty and Jughead’s idea. Five minutes tops.” You pleaded. He gave you an annoyed look, “I’ll go in there but if he starts anything i’m knocking his head through a wall.” You sighed but agreed and you both made your way to the door. You knocked four times and shortly after, Veronica answered the door.

“Come to finish our conversation from earlier, y/n?” She teased.

“No, i need to talk to you and Archie about something.” You said seriously. Ronnie’s expression changed to concern and she moved out of the way to let you in, “Archie’s in the living room. Fair warning, Reggie is here too.”

“Fucking great.” Sweet Pea groaned. You grabbed his arm and shot him a warning look so he wouldn’t start anything.

“Reggie. Archiekins. Behave yourselves.” V said when they jumped up as soon as you and Pea walked through the door.

“You couldn’t have come without your thug?” Reggie snarled.

“I need to know what you found out about the black hood. Jug and Betty said you two did a little investigating when they were planning FP’s coming home party.” You said ignoring his question. Archie and Veronica gave you confused yet concerned looks, “Why don’t you ask your boyfriend. For all we know, the black hood could be a Serpent.” Reggie spoke.

“Would you stop being a dick for two seconds. She’s not even here to talk to you, she’s here for Andrews.��� Sweet Pea’s voice boomed from behind you.

“Has the black hood contacted you, Elle?” Ronnie asked.

“Kind of. He left an envelope full of pictures of me on my laptop Sunday with sinner scratched across them in red and i’m just trying to figure out why.” Reggie’s demeanor softened hearing your words. V and Archie told you about the house where the Riverdale Reaper killed a family of four. Turns out it was a family of five judging by the set of three initials on one of the doorframes, and that the third child is Mr. Svenson, the schools janitor. But so far, that’s all they knew. You thanked them and both you and Sweet Pea headed for the door. Reggie called your name causing Sweet Pea to turn and step in front of you glaring at Reggie.

“It’s okay, Pea. I’ll meet you in the car.” You said placing a hand on his arm.

“If she comes out upset because of you, your ass is mine, Mantel.” He growled before walking out to the car.

“Why didn’t you tell me about the black hood?” He asked.

“Given our recent encounters, Reggie, i didn’t think we were on good terms.”

“You could’ve called me and i would’ve been at the school in a heartbeat, y/n. We’re friends.” He said.

“Sure doesn’t seem that way.” You looked down at your feet, “Sweet Pea made sure i got home safe.” Reggie didn’t say anything but his face twisted in annoyance hearing that you called Sweet Pea.

“They’re not that bad, y’know. You just have to give them a chance and maybe not attack them whenever you see them.” You said.

“They’re nothing but snakes, y/n. That’s all they’ll ever be.” You nodded, knowing that this conversation wasn’t going anywhere. You decided not to say anything more and walked to the car where Sweet Pea was waiting for you. “You okay, Princess?” He asked wrapping an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his chest. “Yeah, i’m okay.” You answered as Sweet Pea gave you a kiss on your hairline before the two of you separated and got in the car.

this chapter isn’t my favorite but it gave some backstory to the character. hope you guys like it. also sorry for the delay, my hours at work got bumped to 40+ instead of my normal part time hours and my Saturday job is a lot of traveling but i’m gonna try to get updates out consistently, even if i have to write them during work hours! 

tag list: @dontaskshhhhh @riverdale-enthusiastt-backup @reggiefogarty @constantly-sleepy @wolfpackcreative @britty443 @live-love-bailar @princessleah129 @southsidehufflepuff @cuddlememerrick @iamaunicorn4704 @hoeforshows @dolansbeanies @tinybeta @orangepegacorn-blog @misskarynie @leeleegrace @irishfangirlxo @vececev @aframeofbones @truepyromaniac @alysweets @kassidykline13 @demigodofthesun @emobabygirlsworld @everheart12 @the-greatt-perhaps @prettymuchbloodup 

[jetblackashtonhemmings]

Neighbors // Ashton Irwin

Warnings: Language, Daddy kink. Y/F/N --- Your Full Name MASTERLINK

You had just gotten home from school and you noticed a moving van outside of your neighbor’s old house. The house had only been up for sale for a few months, not surprising you that it sold as fast as it did.

“Is that you, Y/N?” Your mom called. You yelled a yes back in response and made your way towards your second favorite room in the house,

The kitchen.

You went through the cupboards and cabinets but nothing seemed to satisfy so you just settled with a bag of chips. As you were about to open it, the doorbell rang.

“I got it, I’m already going down the stairs.” Your mom called again. You didn’t say anything but you listened tentatively.

“Hi! I’m —- and this is my husband —- and my son Ashton. We just moved in next door so we thought we would introduce ourselves.” A kind Australian voice spoke. You appeared around the corner and met the eyes of who you assumed was Ashton.

“I’m Monica and this is my daughter, Y/N. Y/N, say hi.” Your mother said awkwardly. Ashton’s eyes were on you and you felt your face heat up. You whispered a small hi and gave a wave.

“Y/N, why don’t you show Ashton around! If that’s okay with —- of course.” Your mom decided. You felt the once red color in your face drain. You probably looked paler than ever. You looked up at your mom with wide eyes and you were about to reject her offer before —- spoke up again.

“That would be wonderful! Ashton, how about you go with Y/N and get familiar with this place, yeah?” She smiled. He nodded his head but you could tell that he was probably killing himself mentally. I think we both were.

Ashton had soft — eyes and dusty brown curls that fell across his face slightly. He was taller than you probably by a good six inches so it made you feel a bit intimidated. You could see his muscles through his Nirvana shirt that was cut at the sleeves. He was attractive.

“Let just get my shoes,” you mumbled awkwardly. People weren’t exactly your cup of tea especially when it came to people you didn’t know. It was usually hard to make conversation and you just didn’t know how to act, mainly around guys. But, there were a few guys you were friends with; Luke, Michael, and Calum. They were pretty okay.

Out of the three, Michael had just happened to be your best friend. You two hung out more than anybody. Luke and Calum believed that you two were secretly together but they knew that you weren’t because one, you were way too close and didn’t want to risk the friendship and two, Michael was in the process of talking to a girl. You weren’t jealous at all but you just found that you and Michael just happened to be better off friends.

You checked your hair in the mirror before putting on your Chuck Taylors and quickly going down the stairs. Ashton was waiting by the door and you noticed your parents were gone into the kitchen.

“I’m sorry, my mom is just something else sometimes.” You laughed. Ashton gave a warm smile and shook it off.

“It’s okay. You don’t have show me around if you have better things to do. I could just go and set up my drums or something.” Ashton rambled on. Your eyes lit up at the mention of drums.

“No, I’d be more than happy too. But, I think you may have found a friend group.” You laughed. Ashton raised a brow. The two of you walked out the door and made your way down the sidewalk.

“My friends Luke, Calum and Michael are in a band and they’re actually looking for a drummer since their last one bailed. He was kind of a dick.” You continued. Ashton smiled and nodded his head. Something about him made it easy to start a conversation. He was just easy to talk to.

“I’ve actually always wanted to be in a band. That sounds really cool.” Ashton beamed. You laughed a little at his excitement. You turned the corner and when you did you were greeted with Luke’s street.

“Actually, were on his street right now. We can pop in and say hi.” You suggested. Ashton nodded his head. You grabbed his wrist and started running towards Luke’s house. You heard the familiar sound of singing and the playing of guitars and a singular bass.

You decided to skip the front door and went to the basement window. Ashton paused, slightly out of breath.

“You’re gonna love the guys. We can just go through the window.” You laughed. You opened the window and crawled through, Ashton following behind.

“Y/N!” The boys stopped and cheered seeing you. They embraced you in sweet hugs.

“Hey, this is Ashton. He just moved in next door and he plays the drums so he’s basically found a friend group.” You laughed. Their attention went to Ashton and they started asking him a few questions.

“Well, I’m Luke, the Asian one,” Luke laughed and this earned a glare from Calum “is Calum and the one with the bright hair is Michael. He’s uh, easy to remember. Michael! Stop eating all the pizza!” Luke yelled.

“Fuck you I’m hungry.” He yelled back taking another bite.

“Mikey grab me a piece!” You chimed. You ran over to him and grabbed the greasy triangle.

“Hi Ashton, I’m Calum like mentioned before. I’m not Asian by the way, it’s a mix of Kiwi and Scottish descent. Whatever it doesn’t matter but yeah,” Calum laughed awkwardly. The three boys continued to talk while you chatted with Michael. His mouth was full of pizza but he swallowed it swiftly before leaning closer to you.

“You like him,” Michael smiled. You almost choked on the food in your mouth as you looked at him wide-eyed.

“Mikey, I literally just met the kid. I mean yeah, he’s attractive but I really don’t know him.” You laughed. You knew your face was red and you looked at Ashton who was looking at you. He smiled and continued talking to Luke and Calum.

“Well, I think he’s pretty cute.” Michael joked. You called him an idiot and rolled your eyes. Michael put a hand on his chest pretending to act hurt.

“Ashton said he would play drums for us, shall we continue?” Calum asked. Mikey shoved the rest of his pizza into his mouth and went back to the instrument. You sat on the couch that was against the wall and the boys started playing. You could see beads of sweat appear on Ashton’s forehead as he hit the drums.

You both made eye contact and a smirk appeared on his lips and he played harder. You bit your lip and crossed your legs. For just meeting him, Ashton did seem to have some kind of effect on you.

It’s been about 6 months since you met Ashton. He was your second best friend, Mikey still being first. You guys hung out basically every day and every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday you would go to Luke’s house to rehearsal. They were working on so original music which was actually really good. Previously they had just done a lot of covers and such and you would always sing along for either knowing the words beforehand or just listening to the song repeatedly.

Something was a bit different between you and Ashton though. You two were very close and you basically never separated from each other. There was a lot of teasing between you two and everybody noticed it.

Ashton would “accidentally” graze over your thigh and mumbled an apology but when nobody was looking he’d give you a sly smirk and a wink. It drove you wild. You didn’t tease him so much but when you did you could notice the effect it has on him. The back of his neck would get red and his breathing would hitch in his throat. It was very frustrating and you wish that something would just happen between you two but you felt as though it would mess everything up.

Today you and the boys were hanging out in Luke’s basement just talking and doing whatever. You lied across Ashton and Michael while Calum was on the floor and Luke was upstairs making some food for everybody. Today had been a bit of an off day and you didn’t really talk much. Michael had seemed to notice as he would raise his brows asking if you were okay. You would simply nod. It got to the point where he didn’t believe you so he got up causing your legs to fall then rise.

“Y/N come with me really quick.” Michael sighed. You got up and followed him upstairs. Luke smiled at you both and Michael told him you’d be back. You went upstairs to Luke’s room and you sat on the floor against the wall.

“Y/N, seriously what’s wrong.” He asked genuinely concerned. Honestly, Ashton was the main reason. You stayed silent.

“It’s about Ashton isn’t it?” Michael whispered. You looked at the carpeted floor and nodded your head. Mikey sat next to you and wrapped an arm around you.

“I’ve fallen for him in the past six months. All the teasing and there is so much sexual tension. We kissed that one time but we were both drunk. Ashton doesn’t even remember it happening.” You sighed. You felt a lump in your throat and you held back tears.

“Ash likes you, I know he does because we’ve talked about it.” Michael smiled. You quickly looked at him and your eyes went wide.

“Michael what the fuck!?” You basically yelled.

“It was just a few days ago calm down,” he laughed. You felt a smile creep onto your lips. You stood up and walked out of Luke’s room and went back downstairs, Michael falling behind.

“Where’s Ashton?” You asked. Calum pointed upstairs and you groaned before going back up. You didn’t see him so you decided to grab some water. You grabbed a glass and began filling it but you then felt lips on your neck the almost caused you to drop the glass.

“A-Ashton, what are you doing?” You stuttered. He hummed against your neck and you had to keep from moaning as he found your sweet spot. You were basically melting at his touch.

“Payback for the stunt you pulled earlier. Sitting on my lap and you kept moving. Tease.” He sighed. You turned around and his hands were around your waist and it tickled slightly.

“We can’t keep doing this,” you whispered. He raised a brow. “The teasing. It’s all too much like Jesus touch me, fuck me, do something. Anything besides this.” You whined. Ashton smirked and you bit your lip. He walked towards the stairs.

“Hey, guys Y/N and I are gonna head home. It’s getting kind of late.” Ashton yelled. They all said their byes and Ash grabbed your hand. You both left and you walked home in silence.

“My parents are gone if you want to come in,” he coughed. A light bulb lit up inside your mind and you nodded your head. Ash pulled out his keys and unlocked the door. He let you in first and he followed behind. Before you could even comprehend, your back was pressed against the door and his lips were on yours. 

“You’ve been a pain in my ass for six months, Irwin,” you groaned as his lips went to your neck. 

“Says you. You’re not the one who constantly has to deal with you touching me when nobody’s looking or resisting to pin you to my bed and fuck the shit out of you when you’re over.” He rolled his eyes. Arousal pooled between your thighs. 

“Then do it.” You tested. You slipped away from him and quickly made your way up to his room. You threw your shirt off into Ashton’s face causing a giggle to escape from your lips. He caught up with you and picked up you up before dropping you onto his bed.

 His shirt was off in less than a second and your lips connected again. He was working on the buttons of your jeans with one hand and holding his weight with the other. He pulled them down your slender legs and you arched your back a bit to help. He pulled away from the kiss and stared at your body. Your face turned red and you immediately wanted to cover up. Ashton had seen you in a bathing suit before but this was a bit different.

 “You have the body of a fucking goddess.” Ashton groaned. You rolled your eyes and stood up. You got on your knees and unbuttoned his black skinny jeans. You could see his hard-on through his boxers and you palmed him causing Ash to throw his head back. You hooked your fingers on the waistband and pulled them down letting his member spring free. Ashton was bigger than you expected. A lot bigger. 

You kitten licked the bits of pre-cum that beaded out of his slit. He moaned ever so slightly and you put his full length in your mouth. You bobbed your head and your eyes watered as Ashton had accidentally bucked his hips. He whispered an apology and ran his thumb over your cheek. 

You could tell he was going to reach his high soon and you pulled away from him. You were going to say something before Ashton pushed you into the bed. He ran his slender fingers across your cover folds causing your breathing to hitch. He kissed down your stomach as he pulled the thin lace material down.

 “I wonder who made you this wet, hm?” Ashton smirked. You knew one of his kinks so you decided to try and test it out. 

“Y-you, daddy,” you moaned as his tongue licked up your folds collecting your juices. You felt the vibrations of him groaning against your skin causing goosebumps to arise on your skin.

 His tongue worked wonders and his thumb rubbed your bundle of nerves. You were quickly approaching your high but Ashton wouldn’t allow you to hit it just yet. He pulled away and connected your lips. He reached over to his light stand before you grabbed his hand.

 “I’m covered,” you whispered. You swore his eyes changed to a completely different shade. He kissed you once more before slowly sliding into you. You wince a bit at his large size.

 “Are you okay?” He asked reassuringly. You nodded and he began to find a steady rhythm. His thrusts were hard and quick. Your nails ran down his back leaving marks which caused him to wince a bit but it seemed to give him more confidence.

 “Jesus, A-Ash don’t stop,” you moaned loudly as he hit your g-spot. Low grunts and slight moans escaped from him. His thumb connected with your clit and he began to rub harsh circles.

 “Fuck, I’m gonna—“ 

“Let it go baby girl, let it go for daddy,” Ashton smirked. Your walls tightened around him and you soon hit your climax. Your back arched and Ashton hit his. His thrusts were sloppy as he rode the both of you out. 

Your breathing was uneven and you could see the beads of sweat on Ashton’s forehead. He ran into the bathroom and grabbed a rag. He cleaned the both of you up and you could already feel the after pain coming.

 “You are the definition of perfect,” Ashton smiled as he pulled you to his chest. He pulled a blanket over the two of you and you could feel sleep ready to soon take over. 

“Well, I got the one thing I’ve wanted for the past six months,” you laughed. “Oh yeah?”

 “Yeah. For you to bang me harder than your drums.” You laughed and Ashton snorted.

 “Jesus Christ that was the worst joke ever.” He continued to laugh but it soon died down as he noticed you staring up at him in awe.

 “Ash?” You said softly. He hummed and you took a deep breath. “I don’t want this anymore. The teasing and stuff. Jesus, I just want to be able to fuck you almost whenever. It’s painful.” You felt tears prick your eyes from the frustration.

 “Okay,” he paused “Y/F/N, will you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?”

 “It’s so cliché like a fan fiction or something but gladly.” You laughed. He planted a kiss on your forehead and the both of you cuddled for a while before falling asleep.

I’m sorry the ending was cheesy I just didn't want to make it too long or whatever

[anonymous-human]

HIIIIII! how about MTMTE characters of your choice of just cute happy things!! no sa d !!!

(Bless the no death all happy timelines. Hell yeah, sign me the fUCK up for that! Anyway, you didn’t say NSFW or SFW so I’m going SFW.)

Drift

Drift is the sweetest of the sweets.

He’s a romantic and definitely the happy guy in those Japanese dating sims tbh. He’ll leave flowers outside your hab from whatever planet they just came from, and he’s always just a gentlemech in general.

And that means ‘ladies first’ as he holds the door open for you.

Also, if you will, he’ll tell you about his theories about the Knights and all that religion he’s into. He appreciates it when people listen to him, especially you.

His favorite thing to do with you would be meditating. It’s his big fav. When you fidget and squirm then try your best to go back to sitting straight and still he finds it so adorable. He’s honestly tempted to stop and just cuddle you forever. You’re so adorable to him! Let him love you! He will tease you about it later btw. 

 Ultra Mangus

Ultra Magnus legitimately misses Verity, that being said he’s starved from lack of physical contact.

This is the most troubling relationship, ever, inside and out. On some days, Magnus might be paying more attention to you, while on other days he’s trying to stop mechs from doing dumb things around the ship. And maybe, if you care about rules and regulations as much as he does, you’ll haul them to the brig yourself, (don’t ask me how).

But I feel like that’s not what Magnus needs in a partner. Yeah, it’d be nice to have one who knows about the rules as much as he does, but he needs someone who will help him take a step back and relax if he’s gone too far, stressing out over nothing or just, in general, taking his work more serious than usual. And he takes everything seriously. I feel like then he’d be truly happy.

As much as he likes it when you ride on his shoulders, he really likes to do things that involve him being your size. Like hand holding. And cuddling. And more hand holding. But he doesn’t do actually PDA as the green bean or the Magnus armor, so it’s more for when you are alone in your shared hab.

That being said, he’ll be out of his armor, and you’ll be lying next to each other, fingers interlocked as he plays with your combined hands together, and you’ll have your head rested on his shoulder. For him being in his reducible form, he’s really warm. And he’s just talking, rambling at this point, but you don’t care. To just be with him like this is the best of times you’ll have with him on the ship. You snuggle closer to him.

 Whirl

Whirl and you are literally the Abbott and Costello of the Lost Light I can’t even begin. Shit has hit the fan and people are fighting? You bet your asses you two making it worse.

Even if you might be more chill and do goofy pranks, Whirl still will run down the halls literally trying to fight someone to show off to you. And by Primus, he can be such a show-off. He’s showing off all the time like he’ll swag into the room you are in and show off how cool he is with a pose, while you are over there cheering him on and rather encouraging his behavior.

And surprisingly, your helping Whirl. Rung can’t even believe it, but when you came into his life, he got much more cheerful than cocky. And on multiple occasions, he’s caught himself ‘going soft’ and claims “your rubbing off on me, fleshy” as you giggle.

The happiest of times are either when you are just having a jolly good time with Whirl and the gang a Swerve’s, or sometimes he can’t sleep at night, and he’ll tell you about his time in the wreckers until he tires himself out, which can be really interesting, with the over exaggerations. Either that, or you’ll play a shitty action/romance movie so he falls asleep (idk about you guys, but I’d definitely bring a TV on the LL), and if your lucky, you’ll be in his cockpit. Which is surprisingly comfy.

One time you fell asleep in there are woke up with Whirl’s head all curled up to your side and claws around your protectively. You smiled and fell back asleep petting his head.

 Swerve

Swerve. How do I begin? It’s a really fun relationship. You’d be a waitress at his bar and I would really like to compare you guys to Sam and Diane, but it’s not that kind of relationship. He’s a talkative mech who needs an s/o who will either listen to him and to what he says or someone as talkative as him.

He loves it when you listen to what he says, you probably one of the only few who actually does listen and add to the conversation. And you’ll talk about anything together. Past, present, future, secrets, all of it. Well, not the secrets part, not in the bar when there are mechs like Whirl around.

And PDA is your guys’ shit. CD and RW think you are horrible, and it’s CD and RW talking. You’ll do it all in public, except kinky and be making out on the bar counter stuff.

he hasn’t been with anyone like this for millions of years. 

At night he likes to just be next to you, that’s all he wants, but more like hand holding and cuddling makes it 1000% better.

 Rung

Rung is the nicest bot ever in the existence of bots. He’s always putting your needs before his and being just the best. You are the light of his life. The only person to remember his name of the first try! And trust me, that never happens.

His favorite thing to do with you is probably just those hours and hours you two have spent in his office just talking and laughing about whatever thing comes to mind.

He really appreciates it when you call out whoever mispronounced his name, even though he tells you to stop.

A memorable moment was when you said you had to talk to him, and he had guessed you were going to break up with him. Having he wasn’t having the best of days, and it’s hard to be positive every hour of every day. When you finally got to his office, you hesitated before saying; “This is going to be hard to say, this isn’t easy for me.” you started, you go on talking about the happiest moments with him on the Lost Light, and he listens carefully. He’s pretty sure you are breaking up with him. And then you stop and hesitate. “I…” you start to say before you hesitate. “I love you,” you finally say. His glasses fog up He tried to say something but he choked on his words. He takes off his glasses to rub to rub them clear. “… are you okay, Rung? Was this too sudden?” you ask, “was the build up too good?!” and Rungs responds saying, “N-no, I just… I love you too.” his voice cracks. No one. No one ever told him words such as that. No one had stuck around long enough. Your words shocked him. You pull him into a hug and he embraces you lovingly and closely to him. 

You are the light of his life and he’s the light in yours.

Red Alert

Red Alert can be a bit obsessive. But before I get to the cute shit, I want to point to some happy shit; In this Timeline, he doesn’t attempt to kill himself (or else he wouldn’t’ve cared. You must’ve become close to him in that period of time before Rung’s head blew up, OR you knew him when he was earth and became close friends with him there. he wouldn’t want this kind of relationship otherwise. and it’s rare for him to trust someone like a human because of their short lifespan.

Anyway, where was I? Oh right. Obsessive. In the sense, he genuinely cares about you, and if you are not with him, he’s watching you on a monitor. Okay, this is rather creepy than happy, anyway.

He enjoys the time you do spend together. Yeah, he’s nervous to try new things like cuddling, so let him initiate anything like that.  

But when it comes down to it, at first he’s really stiff, but when you cup his chin with both your hands and smile as you tell him you love him and pull him down for a kiss, a spark seems to go off in his eyes and he relaxes in the kiss. When you break it, he says he loves you too.

You’ll be laying in birth together, your arms and head on his chest plates as you listen to the steady sound of his spark, and he’s holding you close, one servo on the small of your back and the other up your neck and in your hair. You head is nuzzling his chin and he has his nose in your hair. It’s peaceful.

Megatron

Megatron is a train wreck when it comes to this kind of stuff. And he’ll do the most schoolboy stuff. Before your actually a thing, he’s always nervous when he’s talking, he won’t stutter, he speaks really clearly actually, but when he thinks he’s screwed up, he’ll be like ‘shit, shit, shit!’ in his head and mentally panic as he tries to fix it. Of course, it’s probably alright, but he doesn’t know that.

If you invite him to Swerve’s a few times and actually try to hang out and have a few drinks with him, he’ll slowly get the vibe you like him back. The day he realizes, it was because he caught himself smiling at the thought of you.

But when it comes down to being in a relationship (I want to keep the ‘asking out’ thing separate, if someone would request that, knock yourself out), he’s really polite and sweet. He’ll let you ride on his shoulder and the thing is no one expects it from him because some bots are still very much afraid of him.

His favorite thing to do with you is probably, any physical affection. Guys, he’s been at war for 6 million years, he hasn’t gotten any kind of affection. None. zip, zero, nada. I mean the closest thing to affection was his fights with Optimus, and I wish I was joking. 

He would prefer you wouldn’t to and PDA, he does have a reputation to uphold, but when you’re alone with him he will be super affectionate. Just being near you causes his spark to skip a beat! He likes to hold your small hand in his. He likes it when you are in berth and you’re on top of him, kissing his neck. You’d be in the mood to do the do, but the second he breaks down, it’s over and you do hardcore cuddling till you fall asleep. You don’t really mind, he just needs somebody love. (HE NEEDS SOMEBODY TO LOOVE! HE NEEDS SOMEBODY TO LOOOOVE-!)

All Queen jokes aside, he’s sweet at the spark.