#he literally follows feminist Instagram accounts that talk about second shift and mental loads and how men fail women in yhr domestic sphere

[coffeewithcalypso]

My partner is town for the holidays. Sometimes being long distance is weird and it makes things feel unreal. Like I can start to forget what being with him is like. Some little things so far

- he popped into my office around 1:30 to see if I wanted him to heat up my lunch and bring it to me because he knows I forget to eat when I'm working

- he drove 20 minutes to pick me up because my meeting ended early and I didn't want to wait to drive back with my sister I had ridden in with

- MORE IMPORTANTLY he noticed my water bottle at the house before he left and filled it up and brought it for me

- he has done all the chores he knows I hate without being asked (emptying gross food in the drain catch, taking out compost, being the trash can to and from the curb)

- I was trying to do a non habitual task (meaning it wasn't rote so it took me time to figure out where things went etc) and he asked "is there something else I can do that I can do without requiring instruction?"

- He was feeling restless because we had been lazing around all day (something I wish my brain did but it loves vegging out) so got up and unloaded the dishes because he said he might as well do something helpful when he felt like moving

I have been so fucking independent my whole life and this man knows exactly how to make me feel taken care of without making me coddled or like that independence is being undermined. It blows my mind daily.

I don't know how I got so lucky other than that I stayed stubborn and unbothered that I was single for so long that I got exactly what I was holding out for.

Our one year anniversary is on the 1st and we agreed not to do anything, since it's a holiday. But he's implied he has a little not exactly gift thing for me. So I wrote him a poem tonight. Not my best because I'm a mood writer usually (at least when it comes to poetry) but it'll probably make him cry anyway.