#he knows how to use his words over his fists is what i'm tryna say

[adamsrcnan]

confession time. lowkey i don't see what everyone else see's when they describe neil as being like some scary unhinged wild animal in tsc. like to me he's just neil being neil. insufferably blunt and honest, annoyingly snarky and incredibly perceptive to people around him. if anything i think it's more surprising how much more caring he seems. with regards to jean who he claims he can't stand. yet he promises they'll beat the ravens, doesn't say a word after jean trashes their room, is hesitant to leave the hospital room after he confirms riko is dead, asks after jean when jeremy calls kevin late at night, takes all of a couple minutes to decide to put a stop to jean's abuser, was ready to blow off the fbi and make a run for it from the thai restaurant when it seemed like jean wouldn't be able to contain his grief, told wymack he had him, told jean to find his own reasons to not wanna let go of life instead of holding on because he was told he had to, didn't touch jean until he absolutely had to and even then it was to remind him he was worth saving and he should believe it himself. like sure, him putting out a hit is a little unhinged maybe. but i have no doubts he wouldn't have done the same with drake if he'd been able to contact stuart at the time and things did not occur the way they did. again. it's just neil being neil. he's an instigator. and he even said it himself he was great at starting fights knowing he couldn't win them but doing it anyway.

[babyboibucky]

Devil’s Mark

Pairing: Rockstar!Bucky x Fem!Reader

Summary: You accept a temp job as a runner for a rockstar’s concert.

Word Count: 2.6k

Warnings: TW! Dubcon if you squint, toxic shit, filthy smut, mean!Bucky, rough oral (M receiving), rimming (M receiving), rough sex, slapping, overstimulation, Bucky marking you with a cigarette burn, MINORS DNI I BEG OF YOU

A/N: So this happened lmfao again, this is not to romanticize T*mmy L*e! I don’t care for him tbh, Seb’s tats and piercings were merely inspos for Rockstar!Bucky. Also, this piece sucks because it’s just idk, rushed and filthy and all over the place but I needed to get this out of my system so I can go back to my other WIPs lmfao

Also Rockstar!Bucky’s theme is Nine Inch Nails’ Closer sjcnkjsnakcs and please, he doesn’t have a goatee in this lmfao that fucking goatee ain’t working for me

Devil’s Mark Masterlist || MAIN MASTERLIST

When you accepted the temp job as a runner for a certain rockstar's concert, you'd expected to follow the orders of the staff— bring some equipment to the other side of the venue, fix the lights over there, clean the microphones, buy them coffee— you know, the usual.

You did end up following orders, except that it involved taking the star of the show's cock down your throat.

Bucky Barnes was the epitome of a rockstar with his kohl-rimmed eyes, tattooed skin and piercings in unimaginable parts of his body. He smelled like smoke and leather, tasted like sex, sin and regret.

This was something you weren't supposed to do, hell, you'd never done something like this. At least, not with someone whom you just met a couple of minutes ago. But good god, there was something so irresistible about Bucky that made you say yes to him almost immediately.

Maybe it was the thrill of doing something that your mother warned you about, or the way Bucky looked at you like you were the prettiest thing he'd seen. Or was it his voice and how it sounded velvety-smooth yet rough around the edges whenever he praised you for being his good girl?

Perhaps it was Bucky's entire existence that made you want to desecrate your own image.

"Just like that. Doin' so good for me, sucking my fucking cock like your lollipop. You like how I taste?" Bucky cooed as he sat on the couch, eyes watching you as you kneeled in between his leather clad knees with your lips wrapped around the head of his cock.

You hummed and gripped his knees, hollowing your cheeks as Bucky's hands held your head to keep you in place. He grunted and threw his head back when you slid lower, doing your best to relax your jaw so you can take him further than you'd ever taken someone before.

"Fuckin' hell, sugar." Bucky groaned and violently pushed your head down, making you choke on his cock.

Tears pooled in the corners of your eyes, your lungs burning from the lack of oxygen when he forced you to stay in place. You could feel his cock pulsate against your throat, making you gag on it continuously. Your hands began to hit Bucky's thighs when he refused to let you go, your heart hammering against your chest as you panicked at the feeling of losing all the air in your lungs.

Bucky darkly chuckled, ignoring your actions. "Breathe through your nose, sugar. You can do it, c'mon." he cooed.

A mix of your spit and Bucky's cum escaped your mouth, dribbling along your chin down to your top, soaking through the fabric. You tried to follow Bucky's instructions and inhaled through your nose, your eyes rolling to the back of your head when you gagged again.

"Such a good whore for me, aren't you?" Bucky grunted, finally pulling your head by the hair, allowing you to gasp out for air.

Your cheeks were stained with your tears as you looked up at him, your chest rising and falling heavily with every breath you took. Bucky looked down at you lovingly, his hand tightening around your hair and the other gently caressing your cheek.

"You wanna make me happy, sugar?" he asked and you nodded eagerly.

Bucky then harshly gripped your face in his hand, squeezing your face as he tilted your head up so he could bend down and give you a kiss. It was sloppy, full of tongue and spit but it only spurred you on. The way Bucky was treating you was making you feel things you'd never felt before.

"I need your words, sugar. You wanna make me happy?" he asked again, louder this time.

"Yes, I want to." you said, voice hoarse from having his cock violently shoved down your throat.

Bucky slapped your face before gripping your jaw tightly, "Louder, sugar." he growled.

"Yes! Yes, I want to make you happy!" you exclaimed, eyes fluttering when Bucky tapped your cheek while praising you for being so fucking obedient.

You stayed on your knees and watched Bucky as he stood up, pulling his leather pants down further until he was completely naked. Wetness pooled in your panties as you took in the sight of Bucky, wanting him to just use you however he wanted.

To make you feel useful for once.

Bucky sat back down on the couch, spreading his legs as he gripped your neck, tugging you closer to his cock that rested against his tattooed abdomen.

"You wanna make me happy? I want you to fucking eat my ass." he growled and you blinked, not expecting his request.

Bucky noticed the hesitation on your part and leaned forward to kiss you again, this time taking your lower lip in between his teeth and tugging at it harshly until it bled.

"Not gonna ask you twice, sugar." he warned against your lips before leaning back against the couch.

Your trembling hand took his shaft, jerking him off as you bent forward to lick his balls first. Bucky grunted in response, his hips thrusting upwards as you continued to tug at his cock while your mouth proceeded to work on his sack.

A hiss slipped past your lips when Bucky took a fistful of your hair again, tugging you head back and lifting a brow at you.

"Sugar, I know what you're tryna do and that's not what I asked you." he said, gritting through his teeth and just like that, he dragged your head back down in between his legs as he leaned back against the couch.

Words failed to make it out of your mouth when Bucky pushed your face under his balls, his hand reaching down to grip his cock to jerk at it.

"Stick your tongue out, sugar. Make me feel good, you want that, don't you?" Bucky said, keeping your face in between his head.

You were more afraid to disappoint Bucky than your dignity, the feeling of being forced to do things you'd never imagined was making your thighs clench and your cunt weep. It never occurred to you that it was even possible for someone like you to enjoy being treated this way.

All this time you considered yourself holy, someone who couldn't bear to sin even if her life depended on it. And yet here you were, in between Bucky's legs with your tongue flattening against his puckered hole.

"Oh fuck, that's it." Bucky moaned at your first lick.

Closing your eyes, you allowed yourself to get lost in Bucky's taste as you stiffened your tongue to prod his tight hole. His scent enveloped your senses, the sound of his hand jerking his cock coated with his own cum joining his grunts and groans that went straight to your core.

If this act was a sin, then why did it feel like heaven to you?

"You enjoy eating my ass, huh? Sugar? Yeah?" Bucky asked, grinning at you proudly as you looked up at him.

Seeing you like that made Bucky feral, lashes fluttering as you kept your innocent gaze on him while half of your face was buried deep in between his ass cheeks.

A saint who was willing to sin just for him.

Bucky pulled back and smiled down at you as you panted, "You ever been fucked?" he asked.

You nodded, letting him know that you've done the deed but never like this, of course. Bucky chuckled and cooed in amusement while letting his knuckles graze your cheekbone.

"I don't think so, sugar. At least, not like how I'm going to fuck you. Gonna ruin you for other men, make you mine and only mine. You gonna let me do that, sweet cheeks? Gonna let me use you however I want?" he asked but as usual, didn't wait for you to utter a single word to proceed.

Not that you were going to deny Bucky that.

He pulled you up to your feet by the arm, pressing a soft kiss on your lips before he unzipped your jeans and pulled it down together with your panties. Both your hands were quick to cover your mound from embarrassment, not sure whether Bucky preferred his women bare down there.

"Ah, ah." Bucky tutted, slapping your hands away before cupping your mound, making you jolt backwards at the cold sensation of the rings on his fingers.

"No need to be shy about a little hair down there." he said, dragging his hand upwards to play with the triangular patch of hair covering your mound before pushing you down on the couch.

"Open your legs, sugar. Show me how wet that fucking cunt is." he said.

He knelt down in front of you and almost salivated at the sight of your glistening pussy, so pink and so open as you spread your legs. A tinge of pink painted your cheeks as you watched Bucky nose the insides of your thighs, breathing in your scent while his hand continued to pump his cock.

"God, look at you. Dripping just for me." he moaned and then spit on your pussy, making you gasp out loud.

"I want you to make noise for me, wanna hear you scream my name. Wanna hear you beg for me..." he whispered before finally licking your cunt.

You moaned out loud, wanton and desperate for Bucky to keep going. He ate you out like you were his last meal, it was messy with his spit smearing across your thighs. Bucky was rough with you but god, the sounds he'd make as he lapped up your pussy was borderline obscene. Grunts, groans and muffled praises rang in your ear.

"Ride my face, sugar. Move those hips, smother me with your fuckin' cream. I want your scent on me, wanna smell you when I go onstage." he said and dove back in, your hips moving on their own accord as you chased your nearing high.

The surroundings spun around you and suddenly, all you could feel and hear was Bucky. His tongue and teeth on your cunt, his words of encouragement and then you were gone. Letting out a breathy moan when you came, you tried to close your legs but Bucky pinned them down on the couch as he continued to eat you out.

"Keep cumming, I want more. Give me more, sugar. Come on." Bucky urged and added his fingers into the mix.

Your thighs quaked and your clit was burning from how Bucky kept on sucking on it. Patches of your sweat began to soak your top, mixing along with the marks left by your drool and Bucky's cum.

"Bucky, I can't..." you sputtered out, grabbing at his hair and tugging him away.

That earned you a hard slap on your cheek, the sting only adding to the pleasure that was yet again building up within your core.

"Yes you can and you fucking will." he said and started pumping his fingers in and out of your pussy hard and fast until you were crying out again as another wave of orgasm hit you like a ton of bricks.

You weren't even done riding out your first climax when your second washed over you. And Bucky was relentless and damn insatiable, getting up and sliding his cock into your throbbing cunt.

Your throat went dry with how your moans were slowly transforming into a high-pitched shriek. Bucky was unforgiving as he fucked you, ignoring how your hands were scratching at his forearms in an attempt to escape their grip on your waist. The pleasure was too much, it was borderline painful but it was addicting.

The way Bucky's cock was extending your second orgasm to the point of coaxing out a third was making you delirious.

"You gonna pass out on me, sugar? Can't take my cock that well, huh?" Bucky mocked, his palm tapping your cheek to keep you awake.

You shook your head and tried to speak but couldn't do so. All you could do was whimper and babble like a fucking idiot as Bucky pounded into you. Just as when you were about to explode, his thrusts turned slow and languid, giving you an opportunity to recover.

"You still with me?" he asked with a chuckle, running his fingers through his sweaty locks.

Swallowing, you hummed in response and ignored how your body felt like it was literally on fire. Bucky reached for his leather pants on the ground without pulling his cock out from your cunt. Taking out a cigarette stick and a lighter, he placed the stick in between his lips and lighted it up. He slowly pulled back at the same time he took a drag from his cigarette, the pleasure building up once more as he pushed back into you.

Bucky almost looked ethereal like that with the fluorescent light illuminating behind him, puffs of smoke surrounding his figure as he stood in between your spread legs. His nipple piercings glistening, his tattooed arm flexing when he grabbed the back of your knee, pushing it down onto the couch to further open you up.

"Tell me you're mine to use." he said, nodding his head at you.

"I'm yours to use, Bucky." you whispered.

He smiled a charming smile, almost boyish in charm as opposed to his rugged and rough appearance. And then he sped up his thrusts again, making your toes curl and your fingers ball into fists.

"Yeah, you're mine?" he asked.

You nodded, face scrunching up in pleasure. "Yes, Bucky. All yours. I'm yours, please..." you pleaded.

"Please what, sugar?" he taunted.

"So close, I can't..." you didn't know whether you wanted to cum again or if you wanted him to stop.

Your body was buzzing from overstimulation but Bucky loved it. He loved seeing you like this, wrecked and sobbing. He merely laughed and blew smoke into your face.

"You can, sugar. Gonna make sure you cum again." Bucky growled, snapping his hips in a particular angle that brought you so close to the edge.

"Gonna mark you to make sure no one will want to mess with you." Bucky said, taking his cigarette out from his lips and then pressing it down against the inside of your right thigh.

Your scream was from the combination of pain from the burn and pleasure from your orgasm, making your body tremble on the couch. Your eyes rolled, tears spilling from your eyes and your spit seeping from the corner of your swollen lips.

"That's right, fuck. Milking my fucking cock so well." Bucky grunted followed by a breathy moan when he spilled his seed inside of you without any warning.

Too spent to even realize it, you laid on the couch almost lifelessly when Bucky pulled out and started dressing up as if he didn't just fuck your brains out. It took you a few minutes to return to the right headspace and when you finally came around, Bucky was dressed up in a loose muscle tee and his leather pants.

He walked over to you and bent down to squeeze your face in his hand, eyes glazing over your naked body before he looked back into your half-lidded eyes.

"Goddamn, sugar. Lookit you." he darkly chuckled before kissing you sloppily.

And then just like that, he was out of the dressing room. You looked down at yourself, naked from the waist below and flinched at the cigarette burn on the inside of your thigh. The ache was tolerable now, your intense pleasure masking its pain when Bucky pressed it against your flesh.

The burn was in stark contrast to your skin tone. It stood out, haunting you and reminding you that you sold your soul to a devil on earth— the devil's mark.

-

Everything Bucky Tag List:

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[trashcanfanfics]

Hello, um I have this request. Can you do a fic were Bayverse Raph and his S.O get into a huge fight and he hurts her feelings and hurt her physically with his fists and he realized of what he had done. A few days later he appears on your window but he see her with bruises in a half of her face and he feels very guilty ay himself for do that. And Raph knocks on your window and he appears with roses and chocolates and beg for forgiveness??🤭❤️❤️

(P.D: You can use this GIF if you want to)

Oof angst. I love it. :) also hope you don't mind that I used a different gif!

Raph was mad. Again. He was shouting at Leo who was just trying to make sure everyone was on track. Donnie and Mikey quickly got out of the way of the two so they wouldn't get caught up in the argument.

"You think you're so high and mighty just because you're the oldest! You only care about bossin' us around!" Raph points a finger at Leo as the former scoffs and crosses his arms. You had arrived to this argument and had been advised by Donnie to stay out of it but Raph's shouting was putting you on edge.

"Raph, hey, maybe calm down? We could go for a walk to clear your head, how's that sound?" You gently laid a hand on his upper forearm in caution. He glared down at you and you smiled nervously back. He moved his arm and turned to face you fully.

"So now you're defendin' him?! You think I'm in the wrong for wanting a little choice in how I carry myself?!" He snarls at you, causing you to flinch slightly. You aren't good at confrontation but he needs to calm down. He's not in the right headspace right now.

"No! That's not what I'm saying at all! I just think that shouting doesn't solve anything!" You match his form, arms folded across your chest and looking him in the eye. He throws his arms up, exasperated.

"So you think that I never solve anything?! That's rich comin' from you!" His words confuse and anger you. You glare at him.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Your hands are shaking and gripping on to your arms like a lifeline, something to keep you grounded.

"Hey, maybe we need to separate and think for a minute." Leo's voice cuts in and you look at him. His arms are up the hands palm towards you both with caution written into his features.

"Yer not in this, not anymore! This ain't your business!" Raph growls out and uncrosses his arms to point another finger at Leo. Your blood is boiling.

"Don't talk to him like that! You're just mad because you can't get what you want!" You jab your own finger at Raph in accusation. He took a breath in.

"Okay, alright. Well you don't even know what YOU want! Ya seem ta want to put your nose into others' problems 'cause you can't deal with your own! 'Cause a that, you don't seem ta understand that ya ain't that mature either! You cry like a baby at any inconvenience that comes yer way and yet! Nothing is ever fixed! All you do about it is nothing! Now that I'm tryna fix my own problems, you seem pretty interested!" He screams at you and the words hit you like a train. He just announced to the entire lair that you have issues.

"Crying is no better than what you're doing right now!" Was all you could muster to speak. You were fighting back tears, the shaking in your arms overtook your enire being. Raph took this as a sign of aggression.

"Well fuck you then! You're just a bitch who can't understand jack shit 'bout me!" He raises his fist and hit your face, hard enough to send you to the floor. You let out a pained shout as you fall. The pain blossoming all over the left side of your face is overwhelming, but nothing compare to the aching in your chest.

You hear some shouting but can't focus on it. Your chest hurts too much to even think. What hurts the most is that Raph is the one that hurt you. Your boyfriend, your friend, the one you love so dearly and he hurt you. He yelled at you and then hit you. You start crying even though it hurt.

The next thing you know, you're in someone's arms and being taken from the lair. Cool night air greets you as you open your one good eye, the other swelling slightly, to the night sky, tears slowly travelling down your face. You look at your carrier and see that it's Donnie. He looks back at you sadly. You don't feel anything, just empty, even as the tears continue to flow.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through this. Let's get you home, okay?" He takes you to your apartment, opens the window and then climbs in. Donnie sets you on your couch and politely asks to see the injury to make sure it's not too serious. You, in your apathetic state of mind, let him gently grab your face and look over the already forming bruise. He said it was just a bruise and some swelling, nothing was broken or cracked. Once again apologizing and telling you to put an ice pack on it to reduce swelling, he left to go back to the lair.

After getting the ice pack and holding it there a while, you decided to just go to sleep on the couch, not having the energy to do much else. Laying down causes more pain to shoot through your face, but you ignore it in favor of drifting off.

A noise rose you from your slumber and a pained groan left you as you lifted yourself up. Your face was throbbing as you stood to see where the noise came from. There it was again. You look over to the livingroom window to see Raph on the fire escape, roses and a box in hand. This caused sadness, hurt, and betrayal to swirl in your gut. It expressed itself in anger. You storm over to the window and threw it open.

"You better not be thinking that you can just give me flowers and-" you squint at the box "chocolates to get me to just fall back into your arms." You crossed your arms as Raph looks down and shuffles his feet, causing the escape to squeak. You sigh. "Get in here before someone sees you." You move to the side to let him in. He climbs in as carefully as he can. Raph always had more of a tough time getting in your window than his brothers due to his bulkier stature.

Once he was inside, you closed the window behind him before turning to walk over to the couch where you pick up the forgotten ice pack and return it to your dingy freezer. He had set down the roses and chocolates on the coffee table, avoiding your gaze. You clear your throat to get his attention.

"Look, y/n, I-" He meets your eyes before he gets a good look at your face, staring at the giant bruise and swollen eye. He stays quiet, his face contorted into pain and sadness.

"You hurt me, Raphael." He flinches at your use of his full name. "You hurt my feelings and then you hurt me physically. If you even for a second think that I'm going to just brush over this-!"

"I don't expect ya to. I just wanted to come 'n' tell ya I'm sorry. I know what I said hurt you, and I know that...hitting you was wrong." He seems almost ready to disapear. The guilt written all over his face said that he truely was sorry. You felt your stomach tie in knots and all you wanted to do was hug him and give him sweet kisses,but you held it back. You're not going to roll over that easy.

"Thank you for your apology." He looks you in the eye with utter sadness. "And I also want to say I'm sorry. I said some mean things too." He shook his head.

"No need to be sorry, I probably deserved it." He chuckles slightly as you sigh. "'Sides, I couldn't be mad at ya for longer'n five minutes." A small smile graced your features. He cleared his throat after a minute and made his way back to the window.

"Where are you going?" You ask in confusion. Raph turns back to you with the same amount of confusion.

"To the lair? Uh," he looks down then back up, "why?" You looked him up and down before sighing and motioning him over to the couch where you plopped yourself onto. He hesitantly joins you on your right.

"Raph, I love you, and even though I can't forgive you for this...I don't want to end this relationship. In time, maybe I could forgive, but for now...let's just stay like this." You lean your head on his shoulder and close your eyes. He gently rest his head on yours in response.

"Okay."

Well. I hope this is what you imagined! Please feel free to send in any requests your little hearts desire!!

[jisungsmochi]

somebody to you - hrj

somebody to you - renjun

behold,, the FINAL part of my nct dream x the vamps songs series! leaving y’all with something really wholesome and fluffy bc i’m inlove with renjun 

word count: 2.8k 

summary: huang renjun didn’t like relationships. he thought they were messy, and honestly, a waste of time. he had his whole life ahead of him, so why would he need a significant other to be happy? that was all until he met you, and thought to himself, maybe it wouldn’t be all bad...

read the rest here! 

//

I used to wanna be

Living like there's only me

But now I spend my time

Thinking 'bout a way to get you off my mind

renjun scrolled through his endless instagram feed, swiping through threads of his friends with their girlfriends. he would be lying if he said it didn’t make him

borderline sick. he was always a realist, never really seeing the point of having a serious relationship at such a young age. in his life so far, he’d probably say he’s only had one girlfriend, and it was a random girl he asked to prom so he wouldn’t feel left out. renjun was never opposed to love, he just wasn’t actively seeking it.

“dude i reckon you’re gonna like her! she’s super cool from the sounds of it, and she goes to our university!” haechan insists as the four boys sat down for dinner in their shared apartment.

“i don’t need you to set me up on a blind date. i’m capable of finding someone on my own, thank you very much” renjun rolled his eyes, fed up with the continuous discussions of his single status.

“yeah, and how’s that going for you?” jaemin chimed in, causing jeno and haechan to chuckle in response. renjun just scoffed, shoving his mouth with more food to avoid speaking further.

“give it a chance. the worst that could happen is that you don’t vibe with her and you never talk to her again” jeno tries his best to convince the stubborn boy. renjun just shrugs, his mind contemplating the idea.

“okay fine, one date. if you guys really think she’s soo good for me, let’s see how accurate you guys are” renjun snickers. he was not confident in their matchmaking skills at all, but he loved seeing them fail.

“perfect, i’ll set it up for you. just sit back, relax and be your boring self” haechan grins, tapping away on his phone. renjun ignores the cheeky boy’s comments, finishing up his dinner. his first date in over two years, this should be good...

I used to be so tough

Never really gave enough

And then you caught my eye

Giving me the feeling of a lightning strike

renjun was regretting this date already. all he knew about you was your first name and your uni course, nothing else. the boys had refused to show him any photos of you, claiming that it would be more ‘romantic’ if he fell for you at first sight...what a cliche, he thought to himself.

“how will i even know it’s her, if i don’t know what she freaking looks like?” renjun groaned, nerves slowly building up as haechan pulled up to the date location.

“i’ll point her out, okay? just trust me” renjun let out a short sigh, hands slightly jittery. why the hell was he nervous? it wasn’t like he was going to see her after this one date.

as renjun stepped out of the car, his eyes scanned the scenery.

“jeez, you guys really went all out for this date” he was amazed by the view. it was a restaurant that was by the water, multiple little boats sailing across it and the sounds of birds humming.

“of course, you only deserve the best” haechan winked, eyes looking for renjun’s date.

“dude what if she doesn’t even show up. does she even know what i look like?” renjun was slightly panicking at this point, drifting from his tough exterior.

“haechan?” a soft voice interrupted his thoughts. renjun’s eyes diverted to the owner of the voice. he felt stunned by the sight of you, dressed neatly in some jeans and a flowery blouse. you had slightly curled your hair, hands clutching to your purse as you greeted the two boys infront of you.

“hey y/n, this is renjun, your date for tonight! see you kids later, don’t get up to anything crazy” haechan chuckled to himself, shoving renjun to meet you. renjun almost clashed into your smaller frame, catching you off guard. you gently held his arms, keeping a small distance between you both.

“o-oh my bad, i-i’m renjun” he stammered, eyes meeting yours. you were slightly blown away by his looks...he was really attractive. well done, haechan.

renjun would say the same about you. even though he didn’t have a particular type, (as he found it kind of dumb tbh) he believed you could fit it perfectly.

“i’m y/n! nice to meet you” you widely smiled, renjun returning your expression as he pulled out his hand for you to shake. maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad after all.

Look at me now, I'm falling

I can't even talk, still stuttering

This ground I'm on, it keeps shaking

you were currently trying to hold back your laughter as renjun recounted the story of how he caught jaemin with his girlfriend...doing the nasty, during their first week of university.

“oh my goodness! were you scarred for life?” you slammed your fist on the table, causing others around you to glare. but renjun couldn’t even focus on them, attention solely on you.

“of course! it was the first week! like couldn’t they have just waited until midterms?” renjun chuckled at the memory, proud of himself that he made you laugh so much. he must be doing something right.

“you’re really funny, renjun. some of the other guys that haechan tried to set me up with were lowkey boring. i guess he sees me as boring too” you slightly frowned, watching as renjun piped up in his seat,

“y-you’re not boring at all! you’re funny! and pretty too” he muttered the last part, not wanting you to have heard. but you did. you decided not to linger on it much, afraid to make him too flustered.

“you’d be the first guy to say that” you shrugged, taking a small sip from your glass of water.

“have you had boyfriends in the past?” renjun suddenly asked, causing you to raise an eyebrow.

“i-uh i’ve had a few. nothing too serious though, how about you?” you curiously ask in return, watching as renjun looked down to his lap. he hesitated before answering,

“i’ve only had one girlfriend before. i’m not really an avid dater” renjun admits to you, hoping that you didn’t find him lame.

“oh neither am i! we have another thing in common! i feel like relationships can get really difficult to manage, especially if you aren’t in the right headspace, you know?” you started rambling, renjun stringing along to your every word. he found such beauty in the way you articulated your words. he was so entranced he almost forgot to respond.

“i totally understand how you feel, i’ve always thought that i should live my life to the fullest before i consider settling down” he commented, causing you to nod along. you really liked his answers, it seemed like you were both on the same page about relationships. you didn’t expect to enjoy his company this much, initially agreeing to go on the date so that haechan would stop teasing you for not having a boyfriend in uni yet.

you walked alongside renjun, waiting for your roommate to pick you up.

“i had a really good time tonight, renjun. thankyou” you kindly complimented, causing renjun to become more shy (if that was even possible).

“no thankyou! there were times i felt kind of awkward, but you really know how to carry a conversation” he smiled, watching as you started to get shy.

“are you flirting with me, huang renjun?” you teased, nudging his arm gently.

“so what if i am?” he nudged you back,

“well i don’t think i’d want you to stop” you smirked. before renjun could say anything back, your heard the familiar voice of your roommate urging you to get in her car.

“oh that’s my ride. i have to get going. this was nice, i’ll see you around renjun!” you hurriedly embraced the boy, placing a gentle peck to his cheek before rushing to your roommate’s car.

renjun still didn’t say anything back to you, his body frozen from your touch.

‘no no no’ he thought to himself...he was falling for her.

All I wanna be, yeah, all I ever wanna be, yeah, yeah

Is somebody to you

Everybody's tryna be a billionaire

But every time I look at you, I just don't care

“so are you gonna tell us about the date or do we have to call and ask her instead?” haechan teased as the rest of the boys sat in their living room. renjun has a book in his hands, wanting nothing more than peace and quiet after his long night.

“gosh, will you let me finish this chapter?” renjun huffed, causing jaemin and jeno to snicker. haechan pulled out his phone, holding it to renjun’s face,

“oh would you look at that? it would be a shame for my finger to slip and dial y/n” before he could continue, renjun hurriedly tossed his book to the side, tackling the pestering boy onto the ground, holding him down firmly.

“holy shit, did you get stronger?“ haechan could barely speak, still in shock from the sudden attack. renjun slowly leans back, letting out a tired sigh.

“you two are ridiculous, let’s cut to the chase, did you like her or not?” jaemin rolled his eyes, ready to hear all the tea.

renjun looked from side to side, not liking all the attention that was on him.

“i-she was really cool. honestly yeah, i did like her. but i don’t think she’s looking for anything too serious at the moment” renjun shook his head, thinking back to your heated discussion about relationships.

“okay that sounds like a cop out excuse. i think you’re just scared” jeno chimed in, the two other boys nodding along. renjun glared at them, trying his best to maintain his composure.

“yeah, i mean, did anything happen aside from good conversation?” jaemin continued to push, renjun now becoming more reserved. of course he trusted his friends, but they never really openly spoke about their feelings like this, it was quite new to all of them.

“she kissed me on the cheek before she left, does that mean something?” renjun muttered, watching as haechan tips himself over, now laying on the ground.

“you’re an idiot, must we spell it out for you? she’s totally into you as well” jeno groaned in frustration.

truth was, renjun wasn’t sure how to properly ask someone out, nonetheless be in a proper relationship with them. he was in desperate need of help...but all he had were his three idiot friends.

“i know i don’t know her well and all, but after she left, i couldn’t stop thinking about her. is this what it’s like to fall for someone? oh god...i’m falling” renjun started rambling to himself, jaemin and jeno now rested against him, shoulder touching either of his.

“the answer is pretty clear, man. go for a second date! make the move, she might be thinking the exact same thing” jeno shrugged, trying his best to advise his friend, the best he could. renjun bidded, actually agreeing with jeno for once.

suddenly, renjun felt his phone ringing. he immediately picked it up without looking at the caller ID.

as if you were listening in on their conversation, your voice rang through renjun’s ear.

“hello? is this renjun?” you nervously stammered, waiting for a response. renjun was completely frozen, his mouth hung wide as jeno pressed his own ear closer to the phone.

“y-yes this is him” renjun finally spat out, hands slightly shaking.

“oh great, this is probably coming as a surprise to you. but i uh, wanted to know if you’d be interested in going on another date” you were able to finish, heart racing as you held the phone tightly. renjun felt his heart stop after your words, jeno shaking him gently to snap out of his daze.

“o-oh yeah, i’d be really interested” renjun replies, mentally face palming himself for sounding a little too eager.

“amazing, i’ll keep in touch” you smiled to yourself, trying your best to contain your excitement. eventually you hung up, screaming into your pillow, kicking your feet up and down. was this how it felt to actually like someone?

“there’s your chance, don’t blow it!” haechan teased, throwing a cushion over to renjun who was still frozen well after the call had ended.

‘holy shit’ he mumbled.

//

the date you had planned for renjun, involved attending the local food markets they held once a month. you thought it would be a social enough setting for conversation to not get too awkward, as well as enjoy a variety of food. renjun met you at the bus stop, dressed in baggy jeans and a blue wind runner jacket. his hair was slightly styled, some strands gelled back. it really accentuated his facial features, making you admire him even more than you did before.

“you look really good today, i mean, not like you don’t look good everyday i’m sure you do..” you shook your head at your rambling, wanting nothing more but for him to laugh it off. renjun just smirked at you, planning another witty comment to respond,

“not as good as you though” he gently guided you to walk with him, his hand travelling to the small of your back. you slightly froze at the contact, but aimlessly followed him. he surely had his way with words.

as you both tasted some amazing food, renjun found him standing quite close to you. if you were trying a sample, he would stand behind you, his chest touching your back occasionally. it seemed really natural to him, and you didn’t mind it at all. he would often touch your shoulder gently to grab your attention, or pull you along by your waist. it gave you massive butterflies that you could shake off.

“did you want to start heading home? we can walk to the bus stop together” renjun offered kindly, his arm wrapped around your shoulder as you slowly made your way out of the large crowd. just as you were about to respond, rain started sprinkling from the sky. renjun quickly moved you to stand under some shelter as the rain came pouring.

“how the hell are we meant to walk in this?” you half shouted, clutching onto renjun’s side. he couldn’t bear moving you away from him,

“let’s just run, we can’t wait for it to pass” he suddenly took your hand, pulling you along as he bolted to the nearest bus stop.

“you’re so crazy, renjun!” you shout at the boy, giggling at the entire situation. before you knew it, renjun span you around, pulling you close to his chest.

“the only thing i’m crazy about is you” he confessed, catching you completely off guard. he had a habit of making such flirty comments, but this time you felt he wasn’t trying to joke around.

“w-what?” rain was washing over the both of you, your clothes completely soaked at this point.

“i really like you, y/n. i really freaking do. i didn’t want to admit it at first because i was scared of the idea of dating. but i want to be with you. i want to be somebody to you. everyone is out here trying to settle down and start their lives, but i feel like with you we can go at a steady pace. i don’t want to rush things, incase it gets messy, and difficult. but i just needed you to know that i really like you, and i hope it’s not all in my head that you like me back” renjun firmly confessed to you, eyes never leaving yours. you slowly raised your hand to wipe some rain drops off his face, watching as he smiled into your touch. he held you tightly in his arms, awaiting your response.

“renjun, i think i made it really clear that i like you back. i was also nervous about how you’d react, considering you weren’t really looking for anything serious at first. i think we should give it a shot, we can worry about all the stress and possible fights later on. all i know is that right now, you’re the only person i want to be standing in the rain with. now can you please kiss me?” you couldn’t contain your smile as renjun leaned into you. his lips pressing gently against yours. your fingers now running through his wet hair as he held your waist firmly. the kiss started getting deeper, the atmosphere really playing into the romantic nature of it all. eventually you both pulled away, foreheads presses against eachother, softly giggling.

that was the beginning of your relationship with renjun. despite having ups and downs (as expected) you both persevered and tried your absolute hardest to make things work. renjun finally admitted to himself: falling inlove wasn’t so bad...especially when it was with the right person.

[iffyswriting]

ICE 1 prt. 2

Note: Chile my bumass might as well finish this on Tumblr. 🥴

People say it's hard to be a good person and much easier to be a bad one. I'm inclined to find it true.

Looking from side to side I made my way towards my car and turned my music up louder, hoping it could drown out the thoughts beginning to cloud my mind. It didn't work, my brain always winning out when I started to think.

Trying to do something better with yourself and putting effort into turning a new leaf is like a double-sided coin, you don't get the perks or the praise you want right off the bat. Especially for just attempting.

When you've got no moral compass it's easier to be selfish and easy to deal out your own version of justice. Growing up I found that admirable and I modeled myself after that mindset. It's affected my mental health worse than expected and as I get older I realize I need to change.

If I want any chance at some peace of mind, I need as many changes I can get and do.

Every day I'm trying to do better and even then it doesn't seem like enough. I don't want to give up because you've got to take slow steps in any journey.

The cleansing of a conscious is a process and this new process is going to be long-winded.

I parked my car by the railroad tracks, looking over at the house my presence would disappear from. Many called it the trap but I'm calling it the past I rounded up a bag from the back and checked it's contents, sighing at all I was leaving behind me.

"Miro!" Quint called out to me, bringing attention to himself. I could see from the porch, his arms were outstretched a goofy-ass smile on his face.

"Are you fucking high?"

"Nah, but I plan too. Stick around long enough, I'll let you get a hit."

"Man getcha ass back in the house."

Walking through each room that looked just as unassuming on the inside as it did on the out. Careful planning and rearranging kept everything lowkey and mundane. If you're gonna deal drugs, don't have your product or evidence spread out everywhere.

People talk too much.

Walking into the back office, I stared at my life-long friend knowing that after this our friendship wouldn't be the same. It was something I was coming to accept.

"Kirk."

"Mir." He looked up from his numbers, his facial expression stoic."I expected a warmer welcome with you walking into my house and shit."

"This isn't a friendly visit. You know that."

"I feel like you been avoiding me- so I at least expect you to fake a cordial attitude." Kirk was always about how he felt and even if it wasn't true if he felt that way, then it was good enough truth for him.

"If I wanted to speak, we'd been have had a conversation." Placing the bag onto his desk, I stood back a bit watching as he opened it, gazing at its inside."I'm just tryna wrap up any more loose ends."

"Yeah, yeah whatever nigga."

"You always hostile anyway, Kirk." I joked, letting my guard down finally.

"Nah, I get mistaken for that because of the voice. I'm as peaceful as they come-" He joked back with a smirk, stacking his money together. He placed a band over it and threw it into a ziplock bag, to freeze later.

"Walk with me while we talk."  We went to a further backroom, and I looked at the boys he had under his belt working and getting his money together. He claimed it to be giving out opportunities but I saw it as sending out more toxicity.

Kirkland swiped at his nose, browsing over his workers."You got a plan after this?

"Always do."

"Didn't expect nothing less." Two were snickering about something, and I twitched at wanting to reprimand them. Wasn't my place anymore.

"I thought I fucking told yo ass to keep your eyes on those fucking numbers! You got ADD or something?! Can't focus on one thing!?"  He snapped at one of them, fear jutting out of them as they moved fast back to their original task.

"And you say you're peaceful." Kirk shook his head, rubbing the space between his eyes- stress underlying them.

"And then I said as they come." He took a brush out of his pocket and began to brush his hair distracting his brain.  "I'ma honestly miss your presence Mir."

"You keep shit in line- that's why I made you my right hand."

"I'm just organized. You can find another nigga just as good as me." I wove off, my decision was stagnant.

"We both know that's not true but that's okay because figuring shit out on my own is my specialty."

"If you'd listen you wouldn't have to figure out anything."

"Now, that's a lie." He said a ghost of a laugh coming out.

"At least won't have to figure out shit detrimental to your life."

"You know as much as I do this life only leads to two outcomes, Death or Jail." I started to rant, my blood pumping in my veins. "If we've got fucking brains then there is no reason for us to continue to do this stupid shit when we could be trying to make something of ourselves!"

"Don't come in here acting all high and mighty, when just a couple of months ago you were doing this same shit! You've never been a hypocrite don't start now."

"I ain't being a hypocrite-"

"Easy money is easy money." He spoke cutting me off. "And with the dirt you've got piled up around here, I ain't expect you to leave so early.  All the shit we had planned, mean nothing to you?"

"It means nothing to me now because it isn't the direction I want anymore." I pointed at him than myself. "I'm not getting any younger and neither are you."

"We aren't even business associates anymore, so this conversation is useless."

"Kirk."

"What the fuck, I just say!?" He responded his chest puffing up. I clenched my jaw and my fists, counting in my head to control my anger, I didn't come here to fight with him I came to finish everything.

"Fine."

"When shit gets tough, don't forget you always got a place back here."  He said ultimately, that look in his eyes all too familiar. He was persuasive and good with his words, but his charisma wouldn't keep me stuck in the quicksand. I refused to be pulled back in, no matter how bad shit gets.

"I won't be back. " I said sternly, looking him in his eye as he continued to smirk unfazed by my words.

"Sure." He became genuine holding out his hand for a dap. " Make sure you speak when you see me."

"I will ." Kirk was like a brother to me, the same way I view Quintin but if I have to choose between my soul and their brotherhood, my soul is sliding across the finish line easily. If I don't have my heart, then how am I gonna help them eventually?

"Gone so soon?" Quintin asked, sparking his lighter as he lit a blunt. His eyes were empty as he scanned his surroundings, searching for something I didn't see was there.

"Yeah, there's no more ties between us."

"That easy?"

"It never is but it's good enough for now."

"Tell Tilo, I said wassup."

"You can tell him yourself when you come by the house."

"Nah, gon' be too busy."  His eyes were hazed over now but still empty as he gave me a slick smile, his head falling back.

"You want  a hit?" I felt tempted but I still had more things to do.

"Next time I see you, remember this turn."

"I will." I dapped him up and walked towards my car. I placed a hand on my door, standing still in place. I can't turn back because it'd be like turning back on my mother. On all her dreams and wishes for me,  I can't keep living with myself if I do that.

I have to move forward and I have to do better. I gotta trust in my process because it's all I got to believe in.

@bakarilennox @domdollass @fullofmelaninsarcasmandepression @chaneajoyyy

[supersizemeplz]

You Thought I Wouldn't Find Out

Erik Stevens x Black PlusSized Reader

Another #supersizedfic short. For @lifelover4u. SMUTTY. This a bit longer than it should have been, I apologize for that and any typos. I didn't proofread. Enjoy!

The tweeting conversations of birds drifted into the large kitchen through the screened window over the sink. Dish water filled the right side of the sink, suds bubbling over the hot water. Your grandmother always washed her dishes in hell water so you'd always did the same. Your hips swayed to the hushed rhythm of the R&B that flowed from the speaker on the counter by the stove.

Though it was an off day for you, your body had awakened you at the usual seven a.m. A bonnet rested on your head, hiding the twists you'd done the night before. You still could smell the oil you used, faintly. Erik's hoodie covered your thin tank top and velvet shorts while fuzzy socks protected your feet from the cold tiled floor. Regular cleaning attire.

"I thought we weren't gonna keep secrets anymore?" You jumped at the sudden sound of his voice. Dropping a fork and the wash towel into the water. Your eyebrows pushed together in confusion at his question.

Drying your hands on a unused rag on the counter, you turned to your boyfriend. Ready to give him a confused expression. "Erik, what are you talking ab-" Your eyes fell on what he had in his right hand. You knew it had a little weight to it, but he held it as if it weighed nothing. Shit.

The heavy duffel bag hit the countertop, spilling some of its contents onto the previously cleaned marble. Stacks of hundreds and twenties. Your eyes stayed on the bag to avoid his heated gaze as your heartbeat thumped in your ears. "You wanna tell me what this is?" He spoke first.

Finally looking to him, you seen the anger in his stance. Arms folded defensively. "How'd you find that?" Your voice was small as you found his gaze. Swallowing your fear down, you kept your eyes on his.

The slightest lift of his eyebrow caught your attention. He chuckled, rubbing his hand over his mouth before easing his way around the island that separated you. Slow and predator-like. "Don't worry about how I found it, princess.." You shuddered at how calm he sounded. His body heat radiating to you when he stood behind you. "The question is... Where the fuck did you get it?"

To his knowledge, your job paid good but not enough to just be sitting on a hundred thousand. Erik paid the bills and you spent your money on filling up the big ass closet you had. Though he'd took you on shopping sprees as well, despite your declining.

He chuckled, pressing against you. His calming cologne catching your nose. You gasped as he abruptly turned you around to face him. "I know I ain't put it there.." He kept his voice low, backing you into the counter. "So where you get it?" The dark look in his eye dared you to lie to him.

Your hands shook a bit, but you kept eye contact. If it would've been the old him, you would've just gotten the silent treatment until he calmed down. But your lower half tingled at the thought of what the new him might do. "I was doing a little business with the Koreans up north. They needed some things found, and I was the only one who could find them.." He knew you used to be one of the best hackers around, doing odd jobs for the government. That's how you'd both met. "It's just a little extra money for us, baby. I didn't think you'd find out.."

He caught your chin in his fingers, making you look up at him. Nodding as he mumbled to himself. "You didn't' think I'd find out.." Licking his lips, he leaned closer to you before he let out a dark chuckle. Sending chills through you. He stepped away from you, looking you over before he smirked. "Get the bag and take your ass to the room.."

You opened your mouth to retaliate, but he gave a look that cut you off. You pouted as you turned to do as he said. Piling all the money into the duffle bag and holding it with both hands. He followed you to the bedroom, watching you walk towards your closet before he stopped you. "Unh uh. Pour it onto the bed.."

You sighed, walking over to the bed. Dumping all the money onto the queen sized bed. A few of the loose bills fluttered to the floor, and you went to pick them up. The sound of the door closing didn't catch your attention, but bumping into Erik did.

Looking up at him through your lashes, you let the few bills you held flutter back to the ground. He lifted your chin with a single finger, groaning as he caught that familiar scent of oil you used in your hair. It's scent was one of his favorites on you.

He motioned to your clothes, instructing that he wanted all that shit off. You obeyed, slipping from the clothes without complaint. His eyes trailing your body as you did so. Pulling you to him, he admired the fullness of your lips.

His lips inched towards yours, and you readied yourself for his kiss. Awaiting that spark whenever his lips met yours. When it didn't come, you opened your eyes to his smirk. He pulled his shirt over his head, arms flexing with his movements before his chain hit against his chest.

He turned you away from him, making you face the bed. Inhaling as the tip of his nose brushed up your neck. "We might as well put this extra money to use.." He hummed, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. "Right?" You squealed as he bent you over. Resting your face in the pile of money.

Using his foot, he nudged your feet farther apart. Widening your legs. He smacked your ass with his left hand, watching the jiggle that ripples across both cheeks. You felt him shake your ass with one hand, liking the feeling of your folds parting as he played.

"Yessss" The moan escaped from both your lips as he slipped into you. His fat tip spreading you just right. You pushed your hips back onto him, fisting the sheets as you arched into the bed. He let you set the pace, meeting with each bounce you gave. "You feel so good, baby.." You exhaled, listening to the soft meeting of your ass to his thighs.

Erik palmed your ass, gripping both cheeks as he guided you back into him. "I feel good?" His voice was low as he admired the shine your wetness gave his dick. He licked his lips, speeding up his thrust. Pulling a squeal from you. "How good I feel?" He listened to you moan his name, letting your face fall to the bed.

The wet smacking echoed off the walls, filling the room along with your moaning. Give or take a few of your queefs. Erik cursed when you tightened around him though his strokes never faltered. "Rub that clit for me." And that's what you did, slipping your hand between your legs to massage yourself.

You smiled, humming as he fucked you. That hushed sloshing caught your attention as well as his. "I'm so fucking wett.. Shit." He moaned an agreeing 'mmhmm', letting his head fall back. Looking back at him, you seen his eyes close for a moment before he opened them to meet your gaze. Him sending you a wink to match his smile.

You squealed, tapping your clit as you came. Erik stilled to watch you do your thing. Riding on him and dripping over him. He smirked at your words, liking how you sounded whenever you talked dirty. After you gave a long groan, you crawled away from him. Catching your breath.

"Where you going, baby?" He crawled onto the bed, catching you by your ankle. Your back fell against the money, revealing an amused Erik between your legs. His dick bobbing as he pushed your thighs back. "You tryna take my pussy away from me?" He eased into you, groaning softly. "Hmm?"

You groaned, holding a hand against his studded stomach. Your bright nails contrasted against his skin and he grinned at the observation. Before pinning both your hands above your head and slipping deeper into you. "Ughh, fuckk you." The words pushed past your lips, making him laugh. Your eyes were shut as you took all of him. Every filling inch. You balled your hands into fist, arching from the bed. Shuddering beneath him.

"There you go.." He moaned out as you spilled over him. Soaking both your thighs and the sheets below. "That's what you like, princess. Me fucking you deep til you shake?" You moaned, biting you lip as both your hands held your breasts. He sounded so good during sex and you couldn't figure out why.

Four of his fingers rested on your stomach, but his thumb toyed with your clit. Using overstimulation to make you come undone. You shook beneath him, full lips parted as you panted. "E-Erik, baby.." You squealed a curse, arching from the bed. He held your soft thigh with his free hand to stop them from closing around his hand.

Never stopping his strokes, he hummed at the sight of your eyes rolling. "No more secrets, thickems?" He removed his thumb from your clit, hearing you moan out. Your cream covered his dick in a glossy mess. You mumbled your answer as he slowed his strokes. "Huh? Say that shit, baby." Replying louder, you agreed 'No more secrets'.

He moaned out his curses as he came, pushing into you until he finished. You mumbled a serious 'why is your dick this fucking good'. That made him laugh, dimples deepening as he took his time to pull from you. He admired his length, tapping it against your clit before you pushed at his stomach. "I can't help it. You bring out a whole 'nother side."

You laid out on the bed, loose bills sticking to your damp body. A soft aching between your legs. Erik tucked his bottom lip between his teeth, giving a synced smack to both your thighs. "Now get yo' fine ass up and clean up this mess. Imma make us something to eat.."

_____________

Taglist: @sisterwifeudaku @kumkaniudaku @elaindeereads @wawakanda-btch @theunsweetenedtruth @hold-me-like-a-heart-beat @unholyxcumbucket @purple-apricots @marvelpotterlove @onyxvixen-writer @chaneajoyyy @disneysdarlingdiva @wakanda-inspired @justanotherloveaffair @cmonkillmonger @princesskillmonger @theblulife @airis-paris14 @fonville-designs @liviy00 @cosmicmelaninflower @whoramilaje @yaachtynoboat711 @yofavcocoa @teheeboo @alexundefined @kaykay0829 @terrablaze514 @iwrite4poc @truglori @muse-of-mbaku @killmongerdispussy @jozigrrl @thedelightfulone @bugngiz @fiercedeception @tinyelfperson @ashleychristina73 @ikeea-world @amethystbutterflie @chefjessypooh

[kirastrations]

One by One, One after Another

Kaito drags a finger down the length of the glass in front of him, painting his fingertip a sickly shade of vermillion.

He leers into the mirror of the boy's bathroom, embellished with blotches of clotted red, and glares at the figure peering back at him through the misted glass.

The face of a goddamn coward stares back at him.

-

The five times Kaito Momota failed his classmates.

And the one time he didn't.

Read on ao3

Read on fanfic.net

I - Heaven

Kaito drags one hand through his hair in frustration.

When times are darkest, that's when a hero is born. A hero comes to be a spark, setting a fire in hearts that have become tinder dry. A hero will lead, he'll sacrifice and he'll inspire; then the torch of bravery will passed on to the next in line. They arise to wield the power of love and shun the love of power, they come to show us what we all are inside, heroes waiting to be reborn. The heroes that were born to show others that they are worthy of birthright, worthy of the love that rises under a gentle embrace of wings.

And for as long as he can remember, Kaito Momota, self-proclaimed 'Luminary of the Stars', had wanted to be a hero. A hero fighting for the greater good.

A cape rippling mockingly in the faces of those fallen before him, narrowed mauve eyes that scream for acceptance justice, and, most importantly, charisma. Kaito would be the first to tell anyone that charisma is important, and silently urge his sidekick - whoever was lucky enough to stand in the position at the time, to follow in his lead. After all, if a hero can't lead, are they really a hero...?

Kaito is certain that he fulfils all of the credentials of heroism. Of course! He wouldn't have been planted on this earth if he wasn't capable of something as simple as leading.

... Or maybe he just needs practice.

His other hand's grip on the AV room door slackens - it clearly has no plans on budging any time soon (thanks for that, Gonta). Kaito's eyes squeeze closed as various panicked voices bounce around the Game Room, melding together with the ear-splitting tune blasting out of the monitor.

"Hey," Kaito's eyes snap open again as a gentler voice just about reaches his ears over all the noise.

"I'm—" Rantaro pulls a face as the music goes up a few decibels, cups a hand over his mouth and steps closer to the spaceman. "I'm gonna take a little breather, that alright with you?"

"What?" Kaito frowns. "But what about the meet—"

"Listen," The amnesiac splays a jewelled palm against the coloured door. "I get that you mean well, but this—" His green eyes flit back to the chaotic scene before the pair. "This isn't working out."

"Hold on," Kaito says, "I know we haven't made much progress yet, but," He slams his fists together and forces a grin. "I'm sure we just gotta talk it out some more! We're bound to come up with something sooner or later—"

"You really think it's gonna be that simple?" The rest of Kaito's words die in his throat as Rantaro's eyes fly into him like a spear, normally green, gentle eyes clouding over with something Kaito can only describe as sinister. But it was gone as soon as it had come, and like a lightswitch, Rantaro had snapped back to normal.

"Sorry, I—" He runs a hand through fluffy green locks. "Nevermind. Forget it." He leans back against the AV door next to Kaito. "I just don't think this is going to get us anywhere." He says with a sigh, watching through half-lidded eyes as Angie continues to preach to the other three girls in the room.. "Besides," He chuckles, "I'm still not quite sure why you picked me of all people, y'know?" He shrugs. "I think Shuichi would have been a much better choice than a guy who can't even remember his own talent."

"Dude, that doesn't matter." Kaito grumbles. "You just have that kinda determined aura about you, I guess?" Kaito's lip twitches. "Besides I've always thought you were kinda cool, ever since I saw you—"

..........

...........

.............

A memory drops out of Kaito's grasp, a singular leaf from a tree fluttering just beyond the spaceman's reach.

"Ever since you saw me what?" Rantaro tilts his head, pierced brow quirking skywards.

"I—" Kaito grimances, scratching his head. "...don't know where I was going with that," he confesses, "My bad."

"Right..." Rantaro watches him fumble over his words a little longer, before straightening himself up, and heading towards the exit. "Anyway, I'm just gonna run to the bathroom."

"Hey—" Kaito reaches out to Rantaro, but the boy walks out of his reach far too fast.

"Don't worry." Rantaro soothes with a wave of his hand. "I'll be right back, alright?"

The door gently shuts behind him.

Rantaro was gone.

Kaito finds his corpse fifteen minutes later.

"I'll be right back, I promise!" Kaede cheerfully assures him as she runs off to the girl's bathroom with Tsumugi. He doesn't dare ask why.

"I'll... be right back..." Kaito mumbles, rushing to the boy's bathroom to cough up what felt like more blood than what came out of Kaede's crushed form.

II - Star

Kaito drags a racket behind him as he treads across the tennis court floor.

Ryoma sighs. "You brought me up here to play tennis." It comes out as a statement rather than a question.

"No— well," Kaito's fingers curl around the racket's shaft. He turns to face the smaller man, cape jacket fanning out behind him. "Ryoma, I—" He crouches down to his level. "I want you to look me in the eye, and tell me head-on that you really don't want anything to do with tennis anymore."

"I know what you're tryna do, Momota." Ryoma quirks an eyebrow, eyes briefly flickering to the racket in Kaito's hand. "And it ain't gonna work. I swore after that day that I'd never touch a tennis racket again." He turns his back to him. "I threw my past away, and along with it, my talent, you already know that much."

"Yeah? Well," Kaito throws the racket down onto the floor, a bubble of frustration expands and pops in his chest. He glares at it as clatters to a standstill. "I still don't believe you."

Ryoma shrugs. "Believe what you want— it's only the truth."

"But it's not actually the truth, is it?" Triumph shoots through the astronaut as Ryoma stops in his tracks.

"Excuse me?" Ryoma spins back around. "You... think I'm lyin' to you?"

"Is it really the truth, or is that just something you've forced yourself to believe?" Kaito's hand flies to his neck. "Cuz, for someone who supposedly 'threw away his past', you spend most of your damn time here tellin' us about it."

"Momota," Ryoma starts, "I'm not—"

"No," Kaito counters, "No. If you really threw away your past, you wouldn’t be actin’ like this. You would’ve moved on by now. Right now, you’re carryin’ your past with you everywhere you go. Day in, day out, you just constantly constantly constantly torture yourself with it, and you won’t let anyone in, won't let anyone understand why. All we get is 'don’t bother with me, I'm dangerous, I'm a liability'. If you were really done with the past, you wouldn't be constantly tellin' us to stay away from you!"

Kaito's expression softens. "We're all here for you, Ryoma. All you gotta do let us in." He stretches out his legs out on the court floor. "We're in a killing game, for god's sake - you really think we care about somethin' you did years ago?"

Silence slumps between the two men.

Ryoma silently walks to the exit, and Kaito feels defeat fill his aching chest.

"Momota."

Kaito's head snaps up.

Ryoma grunts. "I've still got a ways to go, but I'll keep that in mind." He says with a hint of hesitancy, and the door clicks shut.

Ryoma was gone.

Kaito finds his remains the following morning.

III - Angel

Kaito drags a finger down the length of the glass in front of him, painting his fingertip a sickly shade of vermillion.

He leers into the mirror of the boy's bathroom, embellished with blotches of clotted red, and glares at the figure peering back at him through the misted glass.

The face of a goddamn coward stares back at him. A coward who can't stomach the mere concept of the occult. A coward who can't show weakness in front of his friends. The mirror ripples, and he sees the faces of his sidekicks training without him. He can't let them down. He can't let them see him like this. He can't-

"HOLD IT, DEGENERATE!"

As Kaito leaves the washroom, he nearly keels back over as a sharp hand digs into the back of his neck. Bloody bile rumbles in the pit of his stomach. Tenko relaxes her stance as Kaito steadies himself against the wall.

"It's just me." Kaito hears himself rasp, and winces at how tired, how small, how weak it comes out sounding.

"Did—" Tenko furrows her brow as Kaito straightens his back. She stares at him, though not with the usual look of absolute disgust Kaito's grown so accustomed to. "Did... Tenko hit you too hard?" Kaito swears he sees genuine concern flash across her features.

"Nah." Kaito forces a chuckle and wipes the corner of his mouth with the back of his fist, taking care to conceal the red. "I'm fine, just had to go to the bathroom, nothin' out of the ordinary." A smile forces its way onto his face and he pumps his fists. "It'd take more than that to hurt the Luminary of the Stars!"

"Ah," Tenko's eye twitches. "Is that so...?" Her eyes flit to the stairs leading to the 2nd floor. "Non-council members aren't supposed to be out at nighttime, you know."

"The hell?" Kaito frowns. "Since when was that a thing?"

"Since," Tenko pauses, "Since this afternoon, Tenko thinks."

Kaito groans, lifting a weary hand to his neck "Can't you make an exception for a guy like m—" The words dissipate in his bloodstained throat as Tenko's expression contorts into one of... disgust, he thinks.

"Oh, what are ya doing Tenko?" Angie appears out of nowhere, siddles between them and gives Kaito a look that makes him want to wilt.

Much to the astronauts surprise (and confoundment), Tenko immediately opens her mouth and a waterfall of fiction pours from her lips, Angie lapping up every word, not unlike a little puppy.

Kaito's eyes glaze over, and his mind wanders elsewhere. It crawls out of his ear, saunters back out to the courtyard, and proceeds to cheer Shuichi and Maki-Roll on in their training in his steed.

The training he's too weak to do by himself.

"Angie sees." She idly twirls a paintbrush, "Well, if Kaito wasn't feeling well, Angie guesses that can't be helped." She beams at the taller man. "Atua forgives you, Kaito! Don't worry!"

"Huh?" Kaito's eyebrows fly into his hair. "Who the hell said I was—"

"Quiet, degenerate!" Tenko snaps at him, then turns to Angie. "So, Tenko will take Kaito back to his room to rest, and then she'll patrol the rest of the school, Angie."

With more optimism than Kaito deems necessary, Angie bids them both goodnight and with a twirl on her heel, she's bouncing back up the stairs from which she came, wispy-white pigtails flying out behind her and catching the artificial lighting. For a brief moment, Kaito sees two shooting stars fly out behind her.

Angie was gone.

"Tenko doesn't know why you're out so late," Tenko starts as soon as the artist's out of sight. "But she suggests that you go and rest before you strain yourself any more."

"W-wait a sec." Kaito pinches the bridge of his nose. "How— I mean, why the hell do you think I'm sick?"

Tenko's stiff expression falters. "Tenko..." She takes a few steps back, "Tenko... can tell a lot about a person when she..." She mimics the move used on him when she'd initially bumped into him.

"Huh." Kaito's eyebrows knit themselves into a scowl. "You can tell just from that?"

"Well," Tenko titters. "Aikido is not about competing for fun to see each other's strengths and weaknesses. By working together and using techniques that make full use of your mind, body, and breath... ...you can measure your physical and mental growth. That is the true purpose of Aikido. You do not compete for superiority in Aikido. In fact, in Aikido you do not compete at all. Aikido is not a martial art for inflicting harm, but a way to improve yourself!" She falls back into her Aikido stance.

"Furthermore, Kaito!" She jabs a finger at him. "Tenko definitely suggests that you take frequent breaks! And... and..." She averts her eyes. "Maybe don't... hide your feeling so much anymore..."

Kaito's mouth drops open, but before he can even formulate a response, Tenko is already halfway down the hall, and out in the courtyard.

Kaito moves to follow her, but his throat screams at him again, and he's pulled back into the bathroom against his will.

The sound of the door swinging shut is drowned out by manic, wet coughing.

He stumbles in on Angie's body the next day.

IV - Child

Kaito drags himself to the far-side of the Research Lab. Seeing effigies of hyper-realistic dead people wasn't something that was quelling his uneasiness of the fourth floor's general atmosphere.

"How are you feeling?" Tenko whispers to him, when everyone is busy either investigating or mourning the loss of their leader.

"Yeah," he says, "A little better." He pulls a face as his eyes flit to Angie's corpse. "Friggin' blood isn't helping though."

"Don't be rude." Tenko scowls at him. " But Tenko... might be able to help with that later."

"What?" Kaito blinks at her. "Seriously?"

Tenko wrings her hands. "Well, Tenko isn't entirely sure, but..." she grimaces. "Tenko's worried about you."

"What?" Kaito snorts in disbelief "You, worried about me? Please, I'll believe it when I see it."

"Shut up, degenerate! It's not like that, Tenko's just—"

She's cut off as Korekiyo calls for her to join him at the séance room.

Tenko gingerly obliges, and the anthropologist pulls the art room door shut after them.

Tenko was gone.

A second body discovery announcement rings out not even ten minutes later.

V - Rabbit

Kaito drags a chair across the computer room floor.

"This enough— enough chairs?" He asks with a splutter, harshly swallowing back the coughs snapping angrily in his throat.

"Should be." Miu collapses in the chair across from him and sighs loudly. "Fuckin' hell, that took forever..."

Kaito mirrors her actions, and relief immediately washes over his form like a sponge to a canvas. "You still haven't told me what these are for though, y'know."

"Keh!" A smirk works it's way across the inventor's lips, and she tosses her hair over her shoulder. "In just a few hours time, we're headin' off to a New World, Space-Face."

"A new world?" Kaito's gaze drops to the headset placed in front of him.

"Yeah," Miu's eyes glisten with deviltry, "A world with no Monokuma, none of his dumb-ass kids, none of that shit," She kicks her legs up and out onto the coffee table. "All you gotta do is follow my lead, do as I say, and we'll be free from this place in no time!"

"Uh—" Kaito politely averts his gaze from what he's now able to see from just under Miu's propped up legs. "So," He turns the headset around in his hands. "This some kinda virtual reality or something?"

"Well, duh." Miu rolls her eyes. "Can't fucking invent teleportation with the shitty tools they gave me here," When she doesn't get an immediate response from the astronaut, Miu practically explodes out of the chair.

"What, is that not fucking good enough for you?" She stomps over to Kaito's seat and snatches the headset from his grasp.

"Huh?" Kaito blinks at her. "No, that's not what I—"

"Well, I don't give two shits what you think!" Miu snaps, face crimson with fury. "I've spent fucking hours fixin' this thing so it's safe for us to dick around in, and you're saying it's not fucking good enough? This is the thanks I get for putting my blood, sweat nd' tears into fiddlin' with this fucking thing!? GOD, why do I even fucking bother with—"

"I DIDN'T SAY THAT!" Kaito yells back at her, shooting up and out of his chair. Miu scrambles back to her seat, not unlike a frightened kitten.

"I just fucking asked a question." Kaito inhales through his nose. "No need to be so insecure about it, Jesus."

"I-I'm nnot inse-secure, I j-just want to—" she snivels and in a smaller voice that not even Kaito hears, "... fucking escape..."

"What?" Kaito's forehead puckers, and a sigh escapes him. "Whatever, listen, I—" Nervous fingers run through heavily gelled hair. "I'm sure whatever you—" His eyes flicker to the looming computer, "—are planning on doing with us, the others will appreciate it, no doubt about it."

"R-really?" Miu peeks out from between her gloved fingers. "Y-you think so?"

"Hell yeah!" Kaito slams his fists together. "I haven't been in a simulation in years, so I'm super excited to try it out!"

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, hold the fuck up." Miu stops him. "You've... been in one of these things before?"

"Yeah," Kaito slumps back down in his seat. "We do 'em a lot for exams for astronaut training, since you can't exactly fly out to space any time we want." Sadly.

"O-oh." Miu twirls a lock of strawberry blonde around one finger. "S-so you like, know how they... work then?"

"Hmm?" Kaito cocks an eyebrow. "Not really, I've just used 'em before, but I wouldn't know what makes 'em tick or anything like you probably do."

"Good."

"Huh?"

"Nothing, just wanted to—" Miu pulls a face and gestures to the entrance. "Fuck. Okay, well your job is fuckin' done here, Space-Face."

"I thought we're going to the New Worl—"

"SOON!" Miu bellows at him. "Gotta prep some more shit before that. Plus I've got him comin' later on, so I gotta make sure I—"

"Him?" Kaito tilts his head. "Who's— hey!" He doesn't get to finish his sentence as he's forcefully yanked out of his chair.

"Your private session with this Gorgeous Girl Genius is over, dickcheese." She sneers, dragging him to the exit. "Though don't get too down in the dumps; I'll come give you a second helping of my beautiful brain later on when we're ready to head off. Oh and—"

Kaito turns back to face her.

"Thanks for... helping me c-carry the chairs up." She doesn't meet his eyes.

"That's all?" Kaito's lip twitches. "Moving chairs is nothing for the Luminary of the Stars!" He grins at her. "I'll even help you carry them back once we get out of that world."

"H-huh...?" Miu visibly stiffens. "Oh, r-right. So, I'll, uh, see you later then." She stutters, taking a wobbly steps back into the Computer Room, letting the automatic doors to slide themselves shut.

Miu was gone.

Kaito momentarily wonders why she suddenly got so nervy, but whittles it down to her... eccentric personality.

Six hours later, Kaito finds out he'd been framed for murder.

VI - King

Kaito drags a dying boy's body across the floor of the hangar, painting the path from bathroom to press a hue that he knows all too well.

But for once, it's not his blood.

For once, it's not his body he's dragging around the place.

Kaito tries his hardest not to stare at the blood-crusted arrow piercing Kokichi's spine as the Supreme Leader shakily steadies himself against the bottom of the stairs, skinny legs trembling, no doubt from the toxic substance rushing through his veins.

Kaito moves to wrap an arm around the smaller boy's waist as they prepare to climb what seemed like a mountain. Kokichi flinches at the sudden touch of a large, calloused warm hand. He's freezing. He's freezing. No, Kaito thinks, as they begin their ascent, he's dying.

Kokichi sidles out of his hold once they're at their destination, practically stumbling into the control panel. The arrows in his back and side bounce up and down like metallic springs, and Kaito's stomach curdles like lemon and milk at the gruesome sight.

Kokichi stands at the control panel, clumsily fiddling with the digital camera, eyes bleary, skin a sickly white. Kaito can't fathom the amount of absolute agony the smaller boy must be in, and he can't understand how he's... still standing.

Reading his mind, Kokichi glances up from his tinkering. A weak smile dangles from one corner of his mouth. "I'm— I'm fine." He rasps, and Kaito's chest twists with an emotion he can't quite place a finger on. Is this what it feels like to be grieve someone? Kaito doesn't know. He doesn't know.

"We need to start," Kokichi says, bringing Kaito back out of his thoughts. "Before I—" His face contorts into one of pain, and suddenly, Kokichi's on the floor.

"Kokichi!" Kaito rushes to his side, head throbbing. Lungs screaming. Heart aching.

"Shit..." Kokichi whimpers. "Not yet... not until—" His eyes clamp shut.

"You..." Kaito's mouth tightens into a straight line. "You're okay." He soothes, though the words are entirely hollow. He runs a hair through Kokichi's thin, sweaty black locks. "You've got this." he quietly says, the smaller boy clings to his jacket as he's re-positioned at his station. "You're okay."

"Go..." Kokichi murmurs, lidded eyes crinkling with what Kaito assumes to be pain, "We need to get this done." His eyes flit to the astronaut's. "I d-don't want m-my death to be for... for nothing."

"Kokichi..."

"Seriously—" Kokichi snarls and splutters on his words, and Kaito has to physically restrain himself from rushing back over. "If I... die... before our plan... I'm gon... c'me back and... haunt... you..."

...

Kaito very, very, very hesitantly proceeds back down the stairs, each step shaky, and more careful than the last. And yet... Kaito's eyes trail back over his tiny, paling frame as Kokichi slides the camera into place with absolute precision. And yet, he watches Kokichi stand tall at the controls, knuckles turning sheet-white as he grips the metal railing.

And yet, even when smiling in the face of death, Kokichi Ouma looks like a leader.

Kaito spreads his beloved jacket across the metal slab, grimacing as the glistening galaxy-print winks back at him, almost mockingly.

So much for the Luminary of the Stars, right?

Kaito swallows the blood (or was it bile this time? Maybe a mixture of both?) clambering up his trachea as he awkwardly shuffles under looming shadow of the press. He clenches every muscle in his body, curling in as small and as tightly as possible, muttering a silent prayer to that one god he never believed in.

"Kokichi?" Kaito calls out after a few minutes of silence. His voice echoes around the room. His chest tightens, and he starts to wonder if Kokichi had actually dropped dead up there. That... definitely wouldn't be good.

"Yeah," A tiny voice says back. Kaito only just barely hears it. "I'm... gonna... s-start it... now."

"A-all right." Kaito's eyes flutter closed, and he internally curses the tremor in his voice. A deafening screech reverberates around the hangar, and Kaito's eyes instinctively shoot back open. It's loud, so much louder than Kaito had expected, but his whizzing mind drowns out the sound. He feels the press shudder below him as the sandwiching slab slowly begins it's descent upon him. On the outside, Kaito's deathly silent, but on the inside, he's howling.

He can't help but compare the events of the night with his own state of mind. Just like the arrows, the poison, this whole goddamn plan, his insides are in absolute dissarray. A mess. Both physically and metaphorically. For a split second, he wonders why he hasn't yet considered the prospect of Kokichi tricking him into going under the press. Then he remembers the gaunt, pale, poisoned, ghostly visage of what he'd once considered a pest, a villain, a mastermind, a thorn in his side, and guilt twists around his gut.

Kaito finally exhales when he hears the press screech to a halt just above him, breath fogging up the metal that just about grazes his nose. He stays there, paralyzed, waiting for Kokichi's signal to switch over, but it doesn't come.

It doesn't come.

Heart hammering in his ribcage and fearing the worst, Kaito shimmies out from under the press, ever careful so as to to not disrupt the carefully positioned jacket - if even one wrinkle is different he knows Shuichi will see it. He'll see it, and he'll scrutinise it to no end. He's just that amazing. Kaito's smile quickly dissipates as his eyes snap over to the control panel. "Kokichi...?"

Kokichi's not there.

Kokichi's not there.

Kaito's eyes dart around the hangar in a panic when clattering resounds from just off to the left. Kaito sees the tail end of Kokichi tumbling back down the stairs, landing flat on his back. All of the pain comes back to Kokichi in a choked, strangled squall.

"Kokichi!"

In an instant, Kaito's in hero mode, and on shaky legs, dashes to Kokichi's side. The smaller boy writhes in pain, as Maki's arrow digs further into his spine, reopening the clotted wound.

"Kokichi, can you hear me?" Kaito sits him upright on the bottom step. Kokichi doesn't answer. He merely sways, dazed, staring at the bloodied floor through glassy eyes.

"Koki—"

"Get it out."

"Huh?"

"It... hurts..." Kokichi mumbles, wincing as another spike of pain shoots down his spine. "Get... it.... out..."

Kaito pulls his mouth into a straight line, eyeing the protruding object with newfound anxiety brewing in his chest. He gently, gently, oh so gently, closes his hands around the shaft.

"I'm gonna pull on five." Kaito says. He feels Kokichi tense up in his hold, but manages to make out a nod from him.

One

Two

Three

Four

...

Five

Kokichi intakes a sharp breath through clenched teeth as Kaito yanks the arrow out, begrudgingly tossing it aside. He'll deal with it later.

"Hey, Kokichi." Kaito gags a little as the little hole punched clean into Kokichi's spine sparkles back to life with fresh blood. "Kokichi," he repeats himself, "you alright, dude?"

"Do the other one," Kokichi breaths out, and in a smaller voice, "please."

Kaito moves to oblige, but hesitates. "You'll lose more blood if I pull—"

He's cut short as Kokichi's hand flies to his own shoulder and with a muffled cry, the arrow is ripped from the smaller boy's bony limb. Kokichi's bleary eyes crinkle in agony as he collapses off the step and straight down into Kaito's chest.

"Kokichi! Hey, Kokichi, Kokichi!" Kaito pulls him up onto his lap. "You can't be friggin' dying on me now, man, we've still gotta—"

"SHUT UP!"

Kokichi rubs his bleeding lip with a sleeve. "It's... it's f-fine." He sighs. "It doesn't matter if I lose more blood," he growls through gritted teeth, "I'm gonna end up dying anyway, aren't I?" He inhales a shuddering breath, sweat droplets forming on skin as cold and as white as snow.

Death definitely wasn't beautiful, nor was it as blissfully peaceful as he'd probably once fantasised it to be, his stomach doing somersaults around the Strike-Nine eating away at his insides, shredding away at what little of his pathetic life remained.

Kokichi wills his tired, tired, tired eyes open, and lavender eyes meet mauve again. Kaito feels a pang of guilt hit him for the nth time when his eyes briefly flicker to Kokichi's cheek, still dusted with a tint of blue from when he struck him a couple days prior.

"I... I have...have to... to go to the... the pr... y-you know..." Kokichi trails off, not able to bring himself to say the word.

"R-right." Kaito swallows a lump in his throat, and gathers the smaller boy up into his arms, and stands up.

Kokichi's eyes go round. "What are you—"

"Shut up." Kaito doesn't take his eyes off the metallic machine. "Just— just let me do this for you, at least." Kokichi's purpling lips screw into a weak frown, but he doesn't argue back. Kaito just assumes that it's the poison preventing him from doing so.

"D-do... do you th-think... M-Maki w-would be... be j-jealous of me right n-ow?"

"Don't make it weird."

"Y-you're th-the one... w-who's c-carry-ing me like a... a bride... y'know."

"Sh-shut up. Don't talk if it's hurting."

"Neheh..."

The walk to the press is not unlike a funeral procession. Both boys know that they're going to be crushed. One physically, like an art assignment gone horrifically wrong. The other mentally, for the rest of his life. If he gets one.

In Kaito's arms, Kokichi begins to quiver, and Kaito's breath hitches.

"Hey," Kaito's surprised at how soft his voice comes out sounding. "You alright?" He lowers the leader down in front of the press.

Kokichi doesn't let go.

"T-two seconds," he rasps, "Gimme a s-sec to... to..."

"O-of course, take your time." Kaito stays still, as though he were lying back under the death machine looming a mere few feet away.

Silence falls through the hangar.

"H-hey..."

"You okay?"

"Well... I-I'm... ab-about... t-to d-die, idiot."

"Right, sorry..."

More silence.

"Are you, uh, scared...?" Kaito immediately regrets asking such a selfish selfish question to the boy he's about to murder.

Kokichi makes a small noise into Kaito's shirt. "It's... g-gonna be... be i-instant... so n-not rea-ll-y." He titters unconvincingly. "I think f-alli-ng on... on... on...  her a-rrow...  sped th-ings u-up a litt-le..." His eyes flutter closed. "At l-least, I-I h-ope... it does..." Kaito observes him, searching his closed eyes for answers  to all the lies he'll never admit to, all the questions Kaito has for him.

Kokichi's freezing.

Kokichi's still.

Kokichi's dead.

Kokichi's... dead...?

........

........

........

Kaito exhales. He's gone. He's at peace. Finally. He's at peace. Kaito moves to lift his body up onto the metal slab, to end this, to just end this once and for all, when Kokichi springs back up with a pained shriek. Kaito, quietly curses that god he doesn't believe in for continuing to make this poor kid suffer so goddamn much-

"I...  d-don't w... anna d-die... like thi-s" Kokichi croaks, curling little bony fingers around the astronaut's shirt.

The world turns into a bleary blur, as do all the sounds. The taste. The smell. Everything's gone. Kaito tries his hardest to hold back the strange feelings rumbling at his core, but he can't. He pulls the sniffling boy in closer, a foreign feeling of protectiveness filling his guilt-ridden chest. A feeling he thought he only possessed for his sidekicks. A lone tear trails the astronaut's cheek, and just like that, the floodgates open wide, wide, wide.

Kokichi starts to cry.  

He cries as though his brain is being torn into from the inside-out. Emotional pain flows out of both gaping wounds. From his mouth came a cry from so raw that even the eyes of the strangers around us were suddenly wet with tears. In an instant, he whole world vanishes from both of them - they're not Ultimates, they're not the hero and villain of their stories, they're not Killing Game fanboys. Just two weary souls that the world wants gone.

Eventually, silence blankets the hanger again.

But this time, Kokichi doesn't wake up.

---

When times are darkest, that's when a hero is born. A hero comes to be a spark, setting a fire in hearts that have become tinder dry. A hero will lead, he'll sacrifice and he'll inspire; then the torch of bravery will passed on to the next in line. They arise to wield the power of love and shun the love of power, they come to show us what we all are inside, heroes waiting to be reborn. The heroes that were born to show others that they are worthy of birthright, worthy of the love that rises under a gentle embrace of wings.

And for as long as he can remember, Kaito Momota, self-proclaimed 'Luminary of the Stars', had wanted to be a hero. A hero fighting for the greater good.

A hero fighting for a chance to beat the Mastermind.

A hero fighting for the sake of everyone else.

A hero fighting for a feeling much too strong to just ignore.

A hero fighting to commit a sacrifice that'll no doubt, end in tears.

A hero fighting for all sixteen of us, Kaito thinks to himself, knowing deep down that the end was nearing. Not once in his life had he ever felt so alone, so lost... So incapable of doing even such a minuscule thing as pushing two little buttons.

And this was only the beginning, the beginning of the pain, the beginning of the suffering and the beginning of the endless constellations of emotions that were in store for the the astronaut.

He clenches his teeth. Squeezes his eyes closed. And does just as he'd been instructed to.

I'm so fucking sorry.

The press slams shut.

Kokichi is gone.

And half a day later, Kaito is, too.

END

[thatssonanii]

Fight

Bloodline Family Series / Parental Paragraphs

"Aye, Milo."

Taking his head out of his locker for a moment, Milo looked at his classmate with his brow raised. He was trying to switch his math book for his Spanish one while he waited for his cousins to meet him. They always walked to their third period class together.

"Your mama comin' to the game Friday?"

Milo rolled his eyes as he continued with what he was doing. "She's always at my games, VJ. Everybody knows that."

Milo watched VJ's two friends laugh and whispered behind him. His patience was starting to wear thin. Milo and his cousins never messed with VJ or his friends. Not their type of people.

"So, shit," he shrugged, "That mean your fine ass aunties comin' too then?"

"And so are my uncle's and my dad. You wanna say that shit to them? Cause I'm sure they'd love to hear it."

"Stop being so hostile, man. Just put in a good word for me and my boys. We know they fine asses get real lonely when they men ain't here."

Milo slammed his locker, cradling his Spanish book on his other hand. He glared at the three boys, he could feel his face start to heat up. "And what the hell would they want with y'all?"

"They look like they could use some dick," VJ said grabbing onto his dick. "Especially ya moms. Her face always tore up, ya pops must not know what he doin."

"Get outta here talkin about my mama. Don't get messed up."

VJ and his friends laughed as other students started to notice the tension. "Stop bein like that, Milo. I'm tryna help. Ya moms is just my type too. Small waist, nice titties and a fat ass. Shit, aunties got ass too."

As VJ threw his head back to laugh, Milo dropped his book and swung. His fist connecting with VJ's jaw. The hit knocked VJ off his feet. His friends that were once laughing now stood silently, watching their friend for his next move. None of them expected that from Milo. Just as VJ picked himself up a small crowd started to form around the boys, VJ's friends faded back into it.

"Your soft ass hit me in my fuckin' mouth. Ya ass can't take a joke?" VJ complained holding his jaw.

Milo huffed ignoring the pain in his hand. "Don't talk about my mama or my aunties. I told you that."

"I say whatever the fuck I wanna say. You got lucky that time, next time you better hope you don't miss."

"Whatever, bruh. Keep them out ya mouth."

"How bout this? You tell them to keep my dick outta they mouths then withcha bitch ass."

Milo attacked VJ's face and upper body with repeated blows. VJ was able to get two hits in before Milo tackled him to the ground. Those punches only pissed Milo off even more.

While Milo was beating VJ up, Eli and Koda were coming out of the stairwell. They were held up by their literature teacher. Koda saw the crowd and pointed it out to his cousin.

"Bet it's some hoes fightin'," Eli joked.

Koda laughed as they approached the cirlcle. "Let Auntie hear ya ass say that shit."

They boys bowed their way through the fight. They laughed at their peers who were screaming for someone to break it up and at the ones recording the fight. But when they got to the middle, their smiles were gone. Milo was still on top of VJ, VJ was attempting to fight back but it wasn't working. Milo was beating his ass. Both boys cursed to themselves before pulling Milo off of the boy. As they were pulling Milo back, the assistant principal and the principal came barreling through the tight circle with school security in tow. School security and principal grabbed the cousins up, escorting them to the office while the assistant cleared the other students and checked on VJ. The cousin got thrown inside the principal's office. The security left them with the principal.

"I expect this kind of behavior out of you two," Principal Brown said looking at Koda and Eli. "But you, Mr. Fatu. I'm shocked that you allowed your cousins pull you into this mess."

Eli sucked his teeth and threw his hands up. "I'm real offended that you think that low of me, Mr. Brown. It wasn't even me, I was the peace maker. Koda too."

"Peace maker my foot. You just close your mouth until your parents get here."

"Forreal," Koda stressed. "The fight had started before we even got there. We broke it up, Milo was beatin' VJ ass."

"Watch your mouth, Mr. Reigns. Is that true, Mr. Fatu?" He asked with the phone to his ear.

Milo said nothing, he stared straight ahead. Opening and closing his fists.

"It's true," Eli answered loudly, "I ain't get nan lick in. Cuzzo ain't let us get a two piece, nothin. Straight dogged VJ ass."

"I was talking to that Mr. Fatu. Not you, Eli." Mr. Brown said dialing the first number. "And watch your mouth."

"I just got a question. Why they get 'Mr." and I'm just Eli. That's messed up, Mr. Brown. Thought we were better than that."

All three sets of parents pulled up at the same time. The men allowed their wives to go in front of them. Jimmy and Trinity were pissed, they didn't have time to deal with Eli and his attitude. Kandice and Roman were annoyed, Koda was always following up Eli. They were sure whatever happened could have been avoided. Apryl and Jey were upset that Eli no good ass couldn't stay his ass out of trouble therefore Milo couldn't stay his ass out of trouble. Simba was just happy to be out of the house and able to go to Milo's school. He skipped in between the group of parents. The secretary allowed them into the conference room where the principal had moved the boys. Jimmy and Trinity went straight to Eli, both of them slapping him in the back of his head.

"Yoooo," he sung out holding his had, "Yall wild. That wasn't even me! It was Creed over there."

Kandice twisted Koda's ear. "What did you do?"

"Me? Im the most innocent thing sittin' in here. Mike Tyson over there knocking people out and that one said hoes again. It's them Fatu boys, Mama. I'm an angel."

Roman smacked the back Koda's neck, glaring down at him.

"I'm just sayin', Pop."

"How about you don't say anything?" Roman warned.

Simba climbed into his brother's lap, the parents sat on either side of their children waiting for the principal to tell them what happen.

"Seems that you sons were involved in a fight with another boy. The boy is bruised up pretty bad, there's an ambulance on the way for him."

"Ambulance? What did y'all do?" Trinity asked glaring at her son. "Yall jumped that boy? For what?"

"What? No! We," Eli stressed pointing to himself and Koda, "didn't get nan lick in, Ma. Milo fought that boy."

"Stop lyin," Jimmy spat.

Mr. Brown cleared his throat. "If I may. Eli is telling the truth. I viewed the cameras, it was a one on one fight. Mr. Fatu fought the other boy. Eli and Mr. Reigns here we're trying to break it up. But Eli, you did, in fact, get a hit in. I saw that much. Mr. Reigns did also but it was after Mr. Fatu hit him on accident and Mr. Reigns assumed the other boy hit him though."

"See. Here we go with this Eli stuff. I wanna be 'Mr. Fatu', call fight night over there Milo."

"Shut your ass up, Elijan."

"Yes, Mama." Eli sat back in his chair pouting. Even when he wasn't in trouble, he was in trouble.

"So what you're saying is my son did this," Apryl asked with a smirk. "Can we see this footage? Cause I don't know if I believe that my goofy baby did that. Especially for the boy to need an ambulance."

Mr. Brown went to stand but Eli held his hand up making every adult in the room suck their teeth. "Koda got the video, Auntie. Shorty from first period sent it to him." Eli smirked.

"Why that lil heffa got your number?" Kandice whispered.

"Not the time, Kandi," Roman chastised, "Give me your phone, Koda."

Koda unlocked his phone and went to the message thread before handing the phone over. "Aight. Pops don't scroll left or right and as soon as the video is over look away."

Roman glared at his son as he snatched the phone out of his hands. The twins, Trinity and Apryl got up to get a closer look at the phone. They gasped and cussed to themselves as they watched the beat down Milo gave. Once the video was over, Apryl couldn't help but smile. She was proud. Patting her son on the back when she got back to her seat.

"I'm just still confused. My son is goofy as shit, he don't do stuff like that." Jey argued.

"I mean, he is my kid, Jey. I taught him something. Bedside that goofy shit he got from you."

"Look at his hands, Apryl. His knuckles are bruised and bleeding."

"That's cause he beat his ass, Jey."

Jey waved her off turning his attention back to the principal. "Why were they fighting?"

"Apparently the boy made some unsavory comments about both Mrs. Fatus and Mrs. Reigns. Mr. Fatu attempted to settle the issue verbally but the boy kept talking."

Trinity looked around her brother in law to Milo, a small smile on her face. "I appreciate you standing up for us, Lo. But you didn't have to do all that."

"We're grown, baby. Whatever he said doesn't matter, you know it wasn't true."

"With all due respect, Mama," Koda added. "VJ mouth is reckless. If it's anything like what he said to me and Eli the other day then ion blame Milo for gettin his ass."

"Yeah. Me and Koda got his ass though. He tried Milo cause he thought my boy wasn't bout shit." Eli shrugged. Trinity turned slowly to look at her son. She wanted to tell him to be quiet but she knew all he was trying to do was help.

"What did he say to y'all, Ko?" Roman asked now starting to calm his nerves.

Koda looked at his dad then at his mama and shook his head. "I can't say."

"Tell me, Koda."

"I'd like to, Pops but I can't repeat what he said. There's women in the room," He sighed, "One of which will beat me if I tried."

Every adult in the room then turned their attention to Eli, who sat playing with his fingers oblivious to their watching. Jimmy smacked his chest lightly gaining his attention. "What's up, Dad?"

"Tell us what he said to y'all."

"But there's women and a child in the room," he smirked.

"And your ass don't care any other time. Start talking, Elijan."

"Aight, aight. Don't hit me," he demanded pointing his finger at his mama. She pushed it away and told him to talk. "He asked me and Koda if we thought our Mamas would fuck him, course we said fuck no and he got all pissy. So then he was like Mama, Auntie A and TK got dick sucking lips so I punched his ass in the stomach. He kept talking shit though. He was like 'ima fuck ya mamas and be ya step daddy' or some stupid as shit like that so Koda slapped fire from his ass. He said something else so we caught him after school and beat his ass."

"Koda Makai," Kandice sneered pinching his arm.

"What, Mama? We wasn't letting nobody talk about y'all like that. Fuck we look like? I'm glad Milo beat VJ ass. He need to learn to keep his mouth shut."

"That's enough, Koda," Roman said squeezing his shoulder. Koda sucked his teeth and sat back in his chair.

"He lucky we wasn't there or it would've been worse," Eli added with a nod.

Apryl rubbed the side of Milo's face still wearing her proud smile. Simba laid against his brother's chest, playing with the buttons on Milo's shirt. "I'm proud of you for standing up for us, baby. But maybe next time you hold back a lil bit."

"Apryl," Kandice and Trinity called.

"What? I'm just saying. I'm not condoning fighting but it was for a good reason."

"Stop talkin, A." Apryl rolled her eyes at her husband, she went back to rubbing her baby's face. They didn't have to be proud of him, she was.

The principal stood to leave the room. "I'm gonna go get their paperwork. Mr. Reigns and Mr. Eli will be suspended for eight days per policy. Even though they were helping, it's against policy and they both threw punches." Their parents nodded, they understood. "And Mr. Fatu would be suspended for ten days as well as the other young man. They will not be able to play in the game this Friday, either."

As soon as the door closed behind the principal, Eli started laughing. "Ayyye. He gave me respect. I knew we were cool."

"You shut your ass up," Jimmy chastised. "You just happy you ain't in trouble this time."

"Damn right. We bout to enjoy these days," he laughed holding his hand out to Koda. Koda went to slap his cousin's hand but he could feel both parents staring holes in the sides of his head. "Come on TK and Unc. We ain't do shit this time. We not in trouble."

"Didn't your daddy tell you to hush?" Kandice asked sternly.

"He actually told me to shut my ass up, TK. There's a difference." Eli sassed then put his hands up to block the hits he knew was coming.

"Lo, you good? You hurt?"Jey asked examining his hands.

"No, he not hurt. My baby don't have a scratch on him. That's my baby."

"He's your baby but you ain't realized his ass ain't said shit the whole time we been here, Apryl."

Apryl's smile turned into a frown. She was so happy to hear Milo finally got into a fight and won that she didn't realize he was still upset. "What's wrong, baby?" She asked softly. Milo pushed away from the table, he sat Simba in his Mama's lap before getting up. Jey asked what was wrong but Milo ignored him, making a b line for the door. His father, uncles and cousins trying to stop him as his mama, brother and aunties watched in confusion. They held him back but that didn't stop him from trying to get out the door.

"Where you tryna go, son?" Jey asked now standing in front of Milo. "Where you goin, baby?"

"To get VJ. I wasn't finished."

"You got em, cuz. I'm sure his ass regret all the shit he been sayin." Eli assured patting his back.

The men held Milo back until he stopped fighting them and laid all his weight on his father. Jey held him tightly, whispering a few things to his first born. He kept talking until Milo's breathing became regular again. Apryl watched them starting to feel bad. She had no idea he was that upset. The principal came back in with their papers. He had questions but decided against asking and just gave their papers out letting them know they could leave. Jey held onto his son as they walked through the office in front of the rest of the family. They passed VJ on their way out, all of them shocked at the damage Milo had done. All of them except Simba. Simba wiggled out of his Mama's arms to run over to VJ. He screamed then started attacking the young man. "Don't touch my brodder! My brodder!" Apryl and Trinity pulled him off, trying not to laugh. Kandice got him from them, holding Simba tightly under her arm as he kicked and screamed out the office.

[lovesick-feelin]

(this used to be porpoiseee btw) can you write something about hispanic jack kelly (literally anything). maybe like him tryna teach the newsies words in spanish? or smth idk i'm bad at ideas

so uh this totally became javey

am i sorry? nnnnnot really this was super fun to write

(also total inspo at the end from in the heights oops)

Davey watched fondly from the doorway as Jack perched on the edge of one of the bottom bunks, five or six of the youngest boys crowded around him on the floor.

“Jack, Jack, how do you say newspaper in Spanish?” one of them piped up, waving his hand frantically as if he were a pupil at a desk and Jack was the teacher. (The image amused Davey to no end; he couldn’t for the life of him imagine Jack in a classroom, student or teacher.)

“Periodico,” Jack answered calmly, saying it slow so the boys could work out the syllables on their tongues and try it out for themselves. “You know how some o’ them upper-class folks call the papes periodicals?” The boys oohed, and Jack nodded, pleased. “That’s sort of where they get it. ‘S all related.” One of the other boys perked up.

“Oh, Jack! How do you say selling partner?” He grinned at the boy next to him, and Davey smiled warmly; the two were obviously already inseparable.

Jack smiled, humming in concentration. “I think that would be,” he mused, “socio vendor.” He looked up and pointed at Davey in the doorway all of a sudden. “So if I wanted to say in Spanish that Davey was my selling partner, I’d say, Davey es mi socio vendor.” Clamoring excitedly, the kids on the floor turned to each other and began testing out the new phrase with each other’s names, giggling as the unfamiliar words tangled on their tongues. Jack laughed, shaking his head as he stood and made his way over to where Davey was standing.

“You’ve got a pretty attentive class there, Mr. Kelly,” Davey greeted him. “You’re a natural.” Jack waved him off sheepishly.

“Aw, shucks,” he joked, “it’s nothing. Helps me practice too. Can’t let myself slack off.” Davey smiled.

“You ready?” he asked, conspiratorially holding up the paper bag he’d been hiding behind his back. Jack gasped, looking .

“You didn’t,” he breathed, and Davey nodded excitedly. Jack clapped his hands briefly before turning back to the group. “Okay, kiddos, Blink is in charge, okay? And remember…” he gestured to the group of kids on the floor.

“Only sell papes in English,” they chorused, and Jack grinned.

“Awesome. Blink, you good to hold down the fort for a few hours?” Blink waved him off from where he was perched on a top bunk, legs tangled lazily with Mush.

“Go have fun, Kelly. Race and Albie’ll be back soon.” Jack nodded, turning back to Davey, and together they practically sprinted out the door, climbing the fire escape ladder all the way to the penthouse. Crutchie was at the theater that night, helping Medda with one of her shows, so they had the rooftop to themselves. Settling down, Davey whipped his treasure out of the bag with a flourish: a whole cupcake from the bakery down the street, preserved carefully in a box. Jack whooped.

“Jesus, Davey, what’s the special occasion?” he asked, staring longingly at the pastry. Davey shrugged, still not sure if he was ready to divulge the information.

“Had some extra pocket money,” he said. He looked away. “And my birthday was yesterday,” he added quickly, hoping Jack would miss it. Jack didn’t miss it, his mouth dropping open.

“That’s why you ate with your fami– ohh.” He smacked Davey on the arm. “You bastard, why didn’t you tell me?” Davey shrugged.

“It’s not that big of a deal,” he said. “We don’t exactly have the money for presents nowadays, so I just eat dinner with the family, and that’s that.” Jack suddenly looked guilty.

“Why you sharing this with me, then?” he asked self-consciously, gesturing at the grandiose cupcake. “Shouldn’t you be splitting this with Les and Sarah or something?” Davey shrugged.

“Why wouldn’t I share it with you?” he countered. “You’re my best friend.” Jack smiled brightly at him, eyes shining.

“Aw, Dave,” he hummed, and Davey smiled in return, pulling out two forks so they could eat. They made short work of the pastry - after all, it was normally intended for only one person - and put the litter in the bag, setting it aside in favor of reminiscing and looking up at the stars. Jack was warm and solid next to Davey, leaning against the railing of the fire escape.

“Jack?” Davey asked. Jack looked at him.

“Yeah?” he responded. Davey shifted so they were sitting across from each other, still close enough to touch but able to talk.

“Teach me some Spanish, will you?” he asked, and Jack grinned brightly.

“Yeah, sure! What do you want to know?” he asked eagerly. Davey looked around, feeling warm and happy and very much at home.

“Hmm,” he hummed. He looked at the penthouse where he spent so much of his time now, how very Jack it was. The drawings, the thin blanket, the hat hanging casually from the rail. “How do you say fire escape?” Jack drummed his fingers on the metal grate.

“Salida de incendios,” he answered easily. “What else?”

Davey looked at Jack, at his easy posture, the confidence radiating off of him that could’ve been perceived as cocky to anyone that didn’t know him well. He thought about the strike, the early days, the whirlwind feeling of victory; he thought about Jack surrounded by those little boys in the lodging house, not a care in the world.

“How do you say best friend?” he asked. Jack blushed.

“Mejor amigo,” he answered, looking down at his hands. Davey looked at those hands, calloused and ink-stained, fingers surprisingly nimble; he thought about every time those hands had closed around his wrist to tug him sprinting down an alley at the first sign of trouble, every time those fists had been split and bloodstained after a nasty fight, how those same hands immediately became gentle, weapons no more because someone else was hurt and needed to be taken care of.

“How do you ask someone to hold your hand?” he blurted. Jack’s head shot up, eyes wide and still.

“Toma mi mano,” he managed, and somehow Davey mustered enough confidence to take Jack’s hand like it was the easiest thing in the world. They were close now, close enough for Davey to see every fleck of color in Jack’s eyes, pupils blown wide, his breath coming in soft puffs, lips parted. Davey took a deep, shaky breath in, his heart pounding with anticipation.

“How do you say ‘kiss me’?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper, and Jack’s breath hitched. The stars twinkled above, a breeze blew across the rooftops, a window closed somewhere below them. They were still. Jack’s eyes flicked to Davey’s mouth imperceptibly fast, his cheeks glowing pink.

“Besame,” he whispered.

Davey did.

[ilyuobts]

I'm With You

concept: short story

genre: fluff / slight angst

characters: jeon jungkook & original character (fem)

words: 1.5k

synopsis: a struggling 4th-year college girl that majors in interior designing breaks down in the middle of park at night. it happens so often that the boy can't help but /finally/ take a step into a life-changing moment.

a/n: im over here acting like i'll post this on tumblr but no not really, lol. okay nevermind i'm gonna post it :)

╭⋟──────────────

I'm standing on a bridge

Waiting in the dark,

I thought that you'll be here by now.

You looked up at the dark hue of the sky, with sparkling gems. It was everywhere. wherever you look there's always a star – You're referring to those who expect a lot from you. They aren't many, but the fact that they expect and demand such things from you chains your wrists and ankles onto them. You felt different.

People appreciate stars like they were rainbows and butterflies, but you think of its tears. Crystal tears. It wasn't raining, but you were used to keeping your tears up to your waterline. It hurts not to let it out, but it will just show how /totally/ weak you are in the midst of your semester. It was perhaps, hopeless.

There's nothing but the rain.

No footsteps on the ground.

I'm listening but there's no sound.

The air was cooling. It was chilly and it's in a good chilly. It was frightening. You inhale the pressure and self-problems that you are currently facing and try to exhale it. But every time you do, it doesn't work because it feels like you're inhaling it again as the struggles float in that cool air.

Your hands curled up in fists, your shoulders stiff and your breath rigged. You blinked your eyes too many times that the tears gave up holding on. You whimpered softly - your voice releasing. And slowly, those whimpers multiplied. The tears morphed into waterfalls. Your body slowly letting go. But you resisted it. You didn't want to feel even more weak, even while crying softly.

Isn't anyone trying to find me?

Won't somebody come take me home?

It's a damn cold night.

Trying to figure out this life.

The only thing that your tattered soul is holding onto is you. You depended on yourself. You thought you'd make it through storms like this, alone. You thought it was the epitome of maturity - that if you didn't need any help and that you felt secure of yourself you wouldn't be having second thoughts of finding someone. But maybe this time you were going to be corrected.

Maybe this time you'll be fully guided. Maybe, this time you'll be helped. It was so obvious to you that you're on the peak of stopping life. To loathe in the thoughts of... Those stars. It was hard - wanting to take a break to recover. But in exchange, they'll be expecting more of you. And you thought about it. You have to hold on, even on the most fragile branch.

Won't you take me by the hand,

Take me somewhere new?

I don't know who you are,

But I'm with you.

"Y/N?" A soft voice slowly spoke to you. It was behind you as if he knew you needed someone to hold your back. To push you forward. You knew it was a guy, but little did you that he will be the one you'd be able to depend on, and not on yourself anymore. Your mind was brought back to reality after your name rolled off his tongue. You wiped your tears with the arm of your hoodie and tried to balance your breathing.

You fixed your sling bag with your school supplies and slowly turned around to the person that has seen your vulnerability. "Oh, Jungkook." You responded quietly. Out of all of your colleagues, it was Jungkook. The two of you weren't really close. But for some reason, you felt something when you see him. A connection? Hope? Whatever it is, you felt good when you're with him.

I'm looking for a place,

I'm searching for a face,

Is anybody here I know?

"What's wrong?" The typical question, of course. Even if you knew that a person will ask that, nobody really has the balls to ask you. So it didn't really matter if they ask the obvious, you're just thankful somebody cared. "I'm... At the lowest point of my life right now." You answered softly as you looked down on the pavement. The atmosphere awkward was to you, but it soon changed when Jungkook asked again. "Wanna take a break? Come here, take a sit with me."

Jungkook said holding your wrist - which gave butterflies to you. You wondered, when did your heart skip a beat? You can't remember. You might've never even experienced it. Maybe now. He pulled you along with him to a bench near a light post. You sighed. You're hoping that you'll be able to take a break. You're holding on that little hope that Jungkook will be the one to hold you close. Even just for a while, even just for tonight. Just once.

'Cause nothing's going right,

And everything's a mess,

And no one likes to be alone.

"It's okay if you can't say it now. Maybe later, but don't hide it forever. Not until it becomes worse." Jungkook softly said as he caresses your hand. It was a small affection, but it had an impact on you. And you didn't know why. "I have not enough budget to pay for my rent. Yes, I haven't found a house to live on my own. A house of my own. And this semester isn't really going well for me."

You carefully said as your breath becomes rigged again, but you knew to let it out was healthier - because Jungkook was here. "My peers and my family expects a lot from me. You know, a tradition." You continued. He wraps an arm around you and rubs your back in circles, comforting you to the best that he can. He listened without words, and you highly appreciated that for what you need is someone to listen. And not to demand.

Why is everything so confusing?

Maybe I'm just out of my mind?

Moments after letting out fragments of what disturbs you, you felt better, to say the least. It wasn't euphoric, but it did felt better for you to be able to share what's bothering you. Yes, it's a little odd to share it with the person you don't hang out with - you didn't really hang out with anyone. But then again, it felt as if Jungkook was your soulmate. You never know. You calmed down, your whimpers quieted and your breathing became normal.

"Look, there are days in which we all feel like this. We feel terrified, we feel sad, we feel hopeless, whatever despair that we feel. It's in us." Jungkook carefully said, being cautious with his words. "It'll always happen. But you have to know that it won't last long if you find help. You can't build a house in a day, you also need someone. Don't let your pride take over you. If you think you can't do it, let it go. Cry it out not because you are weak, but because you have been strong for too long, Y/N."

It's a damn cold night.

Tryna' figure out this life.

His words were like the calming breeze over summer air. His gaze is the star that you've been looking for. His warmth is the fire that you've been needing. From the bottom of your heart, you knew it was him. You smiled softly. "Thank you." You were searching for someone to shed some light above you. Someone to get you through every night. A person who could be your inspiration. It was Jungkook. You never met often, but those little run-into-you-conversations was worth it.

Even though every talk gave little information about each other, you knew it was enough. "Because you knew how I feel. I couldn't thank you more." You continued, tears filling up your waterline again. And this time, your tears finally found a new purpose. A purpose of hope and joy. He smiled back and hugged you, ignoring the fact that both of you weren't really close to each other. All he knew is that you needed a hug, and you needed it right now.

Take me by the hand,

Take me somewhere new.

I don't know who you are,

Releasing from the hug, both of you smiled. You kissed his cheek. Saying that you're great was an understatement. You are euphoric. Both of you ate at a restaurant after your graduation. You're officially a licensed interior designer and Jungkook, - a licensed photographer. Both of you pretty much overcome the struggles of finishing college. With all these expectations and demands, you two overcame them and resolved problems that come in between the two of you. You were a lot more thankful than what you said a few months ago when you first officially met him at the park.

The conversation from before sparked both of you and you were more than happy to be in love with Jungkook. "If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't think I'll be able to get this career." You said. "Our jobs need the inspiration to be able to make our own. It just so happen that both of us became our own inspiration." Jungkook said slyly as you playfully punched his shoulder. "Thank you, Kook." Forever you'll be to him. "Always, Y/N. I'm with you."

[iffyswriting]

ICE: Chapter 1, prt. 2

Note: I had to split the first chapter up into parts since Tumblr got a lil word limit 🙄. Enjoy tho!

Looking from side to side I made my way towards my car and turned my music up louder, hoping it could drown out the thoughts beginning to cloud my mind. It didn't work, my brain always winning out when I started to think.

People say it's hard to be a good person and much easier to be a bad one. I'm inclined to find it true. 

Trying to do something better with yourself and putting effort into turning a new leaf is like a double-sided coin, you don't get the perks or the praise you want right off the bat. Especially for just attempting. 

When you've got no moral compass it's easier to be selfish and easy to deal out your own version of justice. Growing up I found that admirable and I modeled myself after that mindset. It's affected my mental health worse than expected and as I get older I realize I need to change.

If I want any chance at some peace of mind, I need as many changes I can get and do.

Every day I'm trying to do better and even then it doesn't seem like enough. I don't want to give up because you've got to take slow steps in any journey.

The cleansing of a conscious is a process and this new process is going to be long-winded.

I parked my car by the railroad tracks, looking over at the house my presence would disappear from. Many called it the trap but I'm calling it the past I rounded up a bag from the back and checked it's contents, sighing at all I was leaving behind me.

"Miro!" Quint called out to me, bringing attention to himself. I could see from the porch, his arms were outstretched a goofy-ass smile on his face.

"Are you fucking high?"

"Nah, but I plan too. Stick around long enough, I'll let you get a hit."

"Man getcha ass back in the house."

Walking through each room that looked just as unassuming on the inside as it did on the out. Careful planning and rearranging kept everything lowkey and mundane. If you're gonna deal drugs, don't have your product or evidence spread out everywhere.

People talk too much.

Walking into the back office, I stared at my life-long friend knowing that after this our friendship wouldn't be the same. It was something I was coming to accept.

"Kirk."

"Mir." He looked up from his numbers, his facial expression stoic."I expected a warmer welcome with you walking into my house and shit."

"This isn't a friendly visit. You know that."

"I feel like you been avoiding me- so I at least expect you to fake a cordial attitude." Kirk was always about how he felt and even if it wasn't true if he felt that way, then it was good enough truth for him.

"If I wanted to speak, we'd been have had a conversation." Placing the bag onto his desk, I stood back a bit watching as he opened it, gazing at its inside."I'm just tryna wrap up any more loose ends."

"Yeah, yeah whatever nigga."

"You always hostile anyway, Kirk." I joked, letting my guard down finally.

"Nah, I get mistaken for that because of the voice. I'm as peaceful as they come-" He joked back with a smirk, stacking his money together. He placed a band over it and threw it into a ziplock bag, to freeze later.

"Walk with me while we talk."  We went to a further backroom, and I looked at the boys he had under his belt working and getting his money together. He claimed it to be giving out opportunities but I saw it as sending out more toxicity.

Kirkland swiped at his nose, browsing over his workers."You got a plan after this?

"Always do."

"Didn't expect nothing less." Two were snickering about something, and I twitched at wanting to reprimand them. Wasn't my place anymore.

"I thought I fucking told yo ass to keep your eyes on those fucking numbers! You got ADD or something?! Can't focus on one thing!?"  He snapped at one of them, fear jutting out of them as they moved fast back to their original task.

"And you say you're peaceful." Kirk shook his head, rubbing the space between his eyes- stress underlying them. 

"And then I said as they come." He took a brush out of his pocket and began to brush his hair distracting his brain.  "I'ma honestly miss your presence Mir."

"You keep shit in line- that's why I made you my right hand."

"I'm just organized. You can find another nigga just as good as me." I wove off, my decision was unmoveable.

"We both know that's not true but that's okay because figuring shit out on my own is my specialty." 

"If you'd listen you wouldn't have to figure out anything."

"Now, that's a lie." He said a ghost of a laugh coming out.

"At least won't have to figure out shit detrimental to your life."

"You know as much as I do this life only leads to two outcomes, Death or Jail." I started to rant, my blood pumping in my veins. "If we've got fucking brains then there is no reason for us to continue to do this stupid shit when we could be trying to make something of ourselves!"

"Don't come in here acting all high and mighty, when just a couple of months ago you were doing this same shit! You've never been a hypocrite don't start now."

"I ain't being a hypocrite-"

"Easy money is easy money." He spoke cutting me off. "And with the dirt you've got piled up around here, I ain't expect you to leave so early.  All the shit we had planned, mean nothing to you?"

"It means nothing to me now because it isn't the direction I want anymore." I pointed at him than myself. "I'm not getting any younger and neither are you."

"We aren't even business associates anymore, so this conversation is useless." 

"Kirk."

"What the fuck, I just say!?" He responded his chest puffing up. I clenched my jaw and my fists, counting in my head to control my anger, I didn't come here to fight with him I came to finish everything.

"Fine."

"When shit gets tough, don't forget you always got a place back here."  He said ultimately, that look in his eyes all too familiar. He was persuasive and good with his words, but his charisma wouldn't keep me stuck in the quicksand. I refused to be pulled back in, no matter how bad shit gets.

"I won't be back. " I said sternly, looking him in his eye as he continued to smirk unfazed by my words.

"Sure." He became genuine holding out his hand for a dap. " Make sure you speak when you see me."

"I will ." Kirk was like a brother to me, the same way I view Quintin but if I have to choose between my soul and their brotherhood, my soul is sliding across the finish line easily. If I don't have my heart, then how am I gonna help them eventually?

"Gone so soon?" Quintin asked, sparking his lighter as he lit a blunt. His eyes were empty as he scanned his surroundings, searching for something I didn't see was there.

"Yeah, there's no more ties between us."

"That easy?"

"It never is but it's good enough for now."

"Tell Tilo, I said wassup."

"You can tell him yourself when you come by the house."

"Nah, gon' be too busy."  His eyes were hazed over now but still empty as he gave me a slick smile, his head falling back.

"You want  a hit?" I felt tempted but I still had more things to do.

"Next time I see you, remember this turn."

"I will." I dapped him up and walked towards my car. I placed a hand on my door, standing still in place. I can't turn back because it'd be like turning back on my mother. On all her dreams and wishes for me,  I can't keep living with myself if I do that.

I have to move forward and I have to do better. I gotta trust in my process because it's all I got to believe in.

@chaneajoyyy @bakarilennox @fullofmelaninsarcasmandepression