#he just wanted to use his new buffing polish in peace
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okcoolcoolwtf · 4 months ago
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Hazbin hotel (Au) Robo Alastor (maybe short comic script? I'm testing it out.)
Vark chewing mouth full*
Robo Alastor" Vark, Vark what do you have in your mouth? Is that my new buffing polish? Drop it you shark mutt!"
Vark still gnawing running away angry red deer droid chasing after*
Later
Robo Alastor disgusted holding his now slobber and punktured covered ruined buffing polish by the very tip with his thumb and point servos.
"Ew, what a truly ill fate you suffered"
Vark smiling by Alastors all his sharp teeth sparkling.
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laurensprentiss · 3 years ago
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Jouska [Hotch x Reader]
Chapter 11:
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Gif Credit: @dudeitiskarev
A/N: I told you shit was going to kick tf off! Poor Hotch is not having a good day today.
Warnings: Explicit details of injury, strong language. 
———
“Each meeting occurs at the precise moment for which it was meant. Usually, when it will have the greatest impact on our lives.” - Nadia Scrieva
———
‘Fitzgerald House’ sits in white letters on an antique black board at the gateway entrance. Hotch turns over the engine and peers over at the notebook in McCall’s hand, squinting at the gated estate in front of him. 
They’re buzzed in by a security guard, and as they drive up, the estate expands. A pillared terrace is framed by dark brick, neatly trimmed shrubs line the circle driveway and encase a grand fountain. Behind it, a set of antique double doors are framed by more huge pillars and blossom trees umbrella the pathway. 
“Are you sure this is the right address, Aaron?” Mccall asks.
He nods. “Fitzgerald House. This is it.”
They step out of the car simultaneously, looking around them, the estate more intimidating up close. There’s something cold about this place, a familiarity he identifies with all too well. 
“This seem like the kind of place a twenty-something lives in?” McCall asks in disbelief. 
Hotch scoffs, air leaving his nose in an exhale. “Senator Fitzgerald’s twenty-something.” 
Hotch is light on his feet, feels as though he’s dirtying the kept tile pathway just by walking on it. Truth is, he’d grown up in a home like this - or spent his summers there at least. He’d felt just as uncomfortable then as he does now. He knows what kind of people are on the other side of those doors, and knows the kind of people that live here. Cold, calculating, drenched in privilege, toxicity and unbearable expectations. 
Borderline abusive. 
He was raised by them. 
He pulls his credentials from his inside pocket and reaches for the doorbell. They take a minute or so and when there’s no answer, he makes a fist and bangs on the door with the side of it. 
“Open up, FBI.” 
A woman finally pulls open one of the double doors, straining almost with the weight of it, the oak creaking. She’s around 40 years old, stands at 5’4 and she’s thin, dark hair pulled back into a tight bun, greying slightly towards her hairline. A black and white apron completes her uniform.
“FBI? Can I help you?” She speaks with an accent, a thick lilt to her words. Eastern European, maybe, Hotch thinks. 
“I’m Agent Hotchner, this is Agent McCall. We’re with the FBI.” They flip their credentials to show the lady, her eyes squint to read the writing on them. “And you are?” 
“I’m the housekeeper. Carolina.” She says. 
“Hello, Carolina. We’re looking for a Jordan Fitzgerald?” Hotch inquires with a smile. 
“Oh.” She stutters and glances behind her, frozen in place. 
“May we come in?”
“Yes, yes, sorry. Please, come in, I think Mr. Fitzgerald is still in bed. Just a second.” 
They step into the foyer of the home, taking in the room - it’s bright and airy, a white marble staircase leading up and off into both directions sits in the middle, framed by a dark bannister. The refined marble floor, and white walls make the both of them feel uncomfortable, uneasy. Tight-lipped family portraits and oil paintings of numerous well to do ancestors line the walls, casting a disapproving eye.
To the right, is a drawing room, where Carolina seats the two men, plush leather sofas are carefully placed in front of a massive window with a view of the front garden. An oversized antique ceramic vase sits in the corner of the room, perfectly polished and buffed.
Hotch swallows uneasily, his eyes scanning the room. 
They both sit tentatively, careful not to scuff the antique rug that lays below them. McCall glances at his watch and mutters to Hotch, taking care to look around so nobody hears him. 
��Bed? It’s noon.” 
Hotch scoffs, raising his eyebrows sarcastically. He pulls his phone out of his pocket, sees some missed calls from Haley that he skips over, shooting off a quick text to you. 
Hey. Good luck with your dad today. 
Talking to you is fast becoming one of the best parts of his day - he feels a little like a teenager again. His phone buzzes and he hopes it’s your name on the screen, he has a spring in his step whenever he’s on duty and he doesn’t have as much trouble waking up in the morning, knowing that you’re waiting for him. 
He’s suddenly ripped from his thoughts when giggles erupt from the top of the stairs, and two sets of footsteps approach. Hotch cranes his head in unison with McCall as a blonde woman with dishevelled blonde hair and smudged eyeliner stumbles down the stairs, shirt buttons done unevenly and skirt askew. 
She carries her shoes in her hands and has a purse tucked under her arm - Hotch concludes that she was probably drunk last night, the effects of which she’s still feeling now if her stumbling is any indication. 
Who he assumes is Jordan, trails behind her with a grin on his face. He’s undressed with only a pair of boxer shorts covering him and a dressing gown that lays open. Hotch and McCall shoot each other a wordless look and Aaron has to fight to stop himself from rolling his eyes. 
Jordan surprisingly has the decency to walk his unnamed friend to the front door, who turns and plants what looks like a messy and unpleasant kiss on his mouth. 
This is Jordan? 
Nice.
He’s tall but still stands a couple of inches shorter than Hotch, he’s broad with brown hair and matching eyes and has a tattoo across his clavicle, which he covers up when he pulls his dressing gown closed. McCall clears his throat when the unnamed friend releases herself from Jordan’s grip and turns to leaves after having Jordan swat her ass crudely. 
Jordan turns his attention then to the agents in his drawing room, padding towards them as they both stand in unison to introduce themselves. He glances at Hotch, eyes narrow, a miniscule flash of recognition appearing on his face. He subconsciously squares his shoulders and stands up a little straighter, gaze falling to the FBI badge Hotch has pinned on his lapel. 
“Mr. Fitzgerald? We’re with the FBI.” McCall tells him with an outstretched hand. 
Jordan takes it warmly, plastering a smile on his face. “What can I do for you gentlemen?”
McCall tells him that they’re here in connection with an ongoing case regarding you, to which Jordan has surprisingly little reaction, Hotch notes. 
Instead, he turns his attention to Hotch. “FBI huh?” He places his hands in his hips, an obvious attempt at trying to assert his dominance, and Hotch sees right through him. “Impressive,” he continues. “How old are you anyway, man?” His words drip with sarcasm and do nothing to veil the obvious insecurity he feels. 
He unsuccessfully tries to level with Hotch, subtly tiptoeing. 
Hotch’s jaw clenches as he looks down at Jordan. “24.” 
He repeats Hotch’s words slowly, ignoring McCall - who finds himself frozen in place, uneasy with the almost confrontational atmosphere between his partner and Jordan. 
“Wow. Someone’s ambitious. Got a lot to prove-” he flicks his badge. “Hotchner?” 
Hotch finds the words on the tip of his tongue, wants to chew this asshole out for being a sleazy piece of shit, difficult and lazy. But the thing that really bothers him, the thing that makes Hotch want to give him a black eye, is the fact that at one point, you were his - and his own actions sent you running back into Jordan’s arms. 
That thought makes his stomach drop, because it’s a feeling he’s wholly unfamiliar with. 
Jealousy. 
And he finds that most disconcerting of all. 
He’s used to being able to do his job with a degree of separation and compartmentalisation, to keep his emotions in check - but he finds himself in a predicament now, one that’s becoming alarmingly clear. The lines are blurred and he knows it, no matter how hard he tries to push it down. 
But he tries anyway. 
He takes a deep breath and goes on. “You mind putting some clothes on, bud? We have some questions for you?” His tone is biting, condescension masked with amiability, similar to the way he would speak to a child. He tacks on the ‘Bud’ to purposely get a rise out of Jordan. 
If there’s one thing he learned from his parents growing up, it was how to get under people’s skin with a smile plastered on his face, and he knew people like Jordan. 
He used to be a Jordan.
Jordan steps towards Hotch, his eyes narrow, a slew of expletives on the tip of his tongue no doubt until McCall subtly steps between them. He stops in his tracks, eyes still focused on Hotch standing behind McCall. 
His demeanour changes completely and suddenly, the animosity melting away to make way for his initial warm manner. 
He takes a deep breath and plasters an unnerving smile on his face. 
With a tilt of his head, he says, “I actually have back to back appointments today, may I come into your offices tomorrow?” His cadence sounds eloquent, polite, the way Hotch knows he was probably raised to speak. 
He frowns at the rapid 180. 
McCall subsequently agrees to let Jordan come into the office to keep the peace but Hotch knows better. The only appointments he would have would be with a few lines of coke and a bottle of scotch if his jaw movements and body odour were anything to go by. 
Still, Ben hands him a business card and tells him to come by at around 3pm for a few questions and bids him a quick goodbye. 
Hotch’s phone buzzes on his way out, a message from you telling him that you’re on your way to your father’s with Emily. 
‘Oh and like three MPD officers.’’ You add. ‘One’s new I think? How’s it going with Jordan?’ 
A small smile creeps its way onto his face while his attention is diverted and his eyes are glued to his phone. 
Jordan watches Hotch and McCall walk back down the pathway and into the car. His eyes narrow from the doorway as he gives a cursory glance to the business card he holds between his index and middle finger, and he flicks it onto the ground outside. 
McCall clears his throat once they’re in the car, but Hotch’s attention is still directed at his phone. He clears his throat again, a little louder this time.
Hotch’s eyes dart up as he looks at McCall. “What?” He asks innocently, slipping the phone into the centre console. 
“That who I think it is?” 
“Yeah, I just checked in to see if everything was alright.” He rubs the back of his neck, a dead giveaway gesture to anyone who knew him well enough.  
“Yeah? Then why do you look like that?”
“Like what-”
Without warning, McCall reaches over and pulls down the driver’s seat visor, sliding the mirror cover over. Hotch’s face is flushed, a ghost of a smile on his face, akin to a smug teenager. His guilty reflection stares back at him and stops him in his tracks. He didn’t realise he looked like that when he was thinking about you and he’s alarmed at how transparent he is. 
No, he thinks. So what? It’s warm, it’s even warmer in this car. 
It’s fine.
Still, he sighs, rolls his eyes. “What?” Hotch says, insistent as he turns a little in his seat. 
McCall sighs deeply next to him, hesitant. “Just. Be careful.” He says, head tilting to motion to his phone. 
“What’s that supposed to mean?” 
“You know what I’m talking about, Aaron.” He says, his voice low. “I see the way you look at her. And what about that little display inside? Why were you so confrontational with Fitzgerald?” 
He rolls his eyes. “Oh come on. You gotta be kidding me! You saw the way he was antagonising me-”
“-Yeah and your job is to stay calm no matter what. You’re not supposed to let people get a rise out of you, especially not if you want a place at the BAU one day. Gideon got word of you, he thinks you’re good. Prove him right.”  
He sounds like an older brother lecturing him, but he has a point, Hotch thinks. Why was he so bothered by Jordan? 
He knows why. He doesn’t know how much longer he can deny it.
The feelings he’d tried so hard to bury deep inside were quickly rising to the surface, faster than even he could get a handle on them. Maybe all he could do at this point was to relax his body and let the water carry him - sink or swim. The possibility of what could be, maybe it was too big to keep fighting. 
He has feelings for you. 
He has feelings for you despite the numerous conflicts of interest, despite the moral implications and the danger to your investigation. 
He swallows dryly. 
“You have feelings for her.” McCall says, mirroring his conscience. 
He doesn’t know what to say back, but he certainly can’t bring himself to deny it. He’s not that good of a liar. Yet. 
He just stares back at McCall whose face is etched in concern for his partner. 
He has feelings for you. 
———
It’s dark when you hug your father goodbye. You hadn’t realised just how homesick you’d been for him until you’d visited today, more so now as you’re about to leave. 
You stand in the dreary rain and apologise again for not telling him about the restaurant incident, reassuringly rubbing his hand as you tell him you’re going to be okay. 
“Really, truly.” You tell him over the patter of the rain. “I’m going to be absolutely fine. I have Emily watching over me now.” 
He nods and places a kiss on your forehead. “Yes, but that doesn’t change the fact that I still worry.” He sighs. “Bye, baby.” 
You wave to him one last time, pulling your coat closer to your body before you and Emily drive away, MPD leading the way. You glare at her, watching her avoid your looks. She grips the wheel a little tighter, and keeps glancing in the rear view mirror despite there being nothing there. 
After a minute or so, she grits between her teeth, “What? I can feel you staring at me.” 
“You told Dad?” You hiss. “I specifically told you not to, and you still told him?” 
“I’m sorry! He asked me outright if anything had happened, what was I supposed to do? Lie?”
“Yes!” You squeal. “Yes! You’re supposed to lie if I ask you to!”
“Come on, that’s bullshit and you know it. He deserves to know that you’re okay. Think about it, what if it had been him? You’d wanna know.” 
In your attempts to not worry him, you’d forgotten that you were all he had, too. Maybe he was right for holding on so tight. 
“I am sorry, though. I should’ve let you tell him.” Emily whispers, glancing at you. 
“No.” You shake your head and apologise too. “You were right.” 
“Does he fly out tomorrow?” 
“Uh, no. Tonight. Some trip that’s been scheduled for months,” you reply distracted, watching the officers in front of you. 
The MPD car turns its hazard lights on, signalling to pull over on the side of the quiet road. You peer at the vehicle in front of you, confused, checking with Emily who shrugs. A text from one of the officers reads, 
‘Reports of a disturbance ahead, assessing alternate route.’ 
“Better settle in.” You show Emily the text and relax into your seat a little better now, leaning your head against the headrest and resting your eyes as the heater runs in the background. The rain slows to a drizzle now. 
She unbuckles her seatbelt to turn her seat. “Can I ask you a question?” Emily says after a while. 
“Sure.” You reply, eyes remaining closed. 
“You have feelings for him, don’t you?” She whispers.
“Who?” You frown. 
“Hotch.”
You all but jump out of your skin. “What?!” You squeak.
Emily rolls her eyes now, embarrassed that you’re even trying to deny it. “Come on. It’s me. Don’t lie.”
Your mouth opens and closes, trying to find the words but your cheeks burn. It’s not entirely unexpected, Emily’s always been somewhat of an inner voice, a mirror that holds you accountable but you’d been quietly trying to work out your issues, the feelings you’d been having for Hotch, internally. 
Had you made it that obvious? Had you made yourself look stupid and naive, pining after a guy who was so much older and settled in life? 
“No of course I don’t, where is this coming from?” Your cheeks grow even hotter and you try to keep your voice even. 
She rolls her eyes. “Everyone can see it.”
“See what? There’s nothing to see!” 
You groan and bury your face in your hands in mortification. If everyone could see it, that meant that Hotch could too, he was on his way to being a profiler for God’s sake. He was probably just humouring you, sparing your feelings.
Oh God. 
“I mean the way you look at him?” Emily says.
“-Please stop, this is so embarrassing-” 
“-The way he looks at you?”
You freeze. “What?” You turn to look at her now and you find her smirking. 
“Come on, you’re seriously telling me you haven’t noticed? I noticed the day I met him, so you’re either blind or in denial, and I know you’re not blind. Even McCall knows it.” 
“What? No. He has a girlfriend and he wouldn’t-”
“Yeah that might be true, and I can’t speak to that. But it doesn’t change the way he looks at you. Even the way he held you that day? You don’t hold a friend like that.” 
Your chest feels fuzzy, warmth spreading to your bones, stomach flipping. 
“So?” Emily laughs next to you as she watches your expression. You try your best to stop the smile making its way onto your face. “I’ll take that as a yes,” She pauses. “He does too, y’know?” 
“What?”
“Have feelings for you.” She replies coyly. 
“Shut up.” You reply, rolling your eyes. 
Your smile reaches your ears now, cheeks aching from the strain. Still, you shake your head, and blow her off, instead turning your attention to the other side of the road. You chew on the inside of your lip, mulling over whether to let what you just heard go ignored or if you wanted to act on it. 
You turn back to confide in Emily but before you can, you see her squinting in the rear view mirror. 
“What the hell?” She mutters. You follow her gaze and see a car with beaming headlights, driving towards you, showing no signs of slowing down as it approaches. She sits up straight in her seat suddenly, as the car increases its speed and barrels towards you. 
The colour on her face drains as she fumbles with the gear stick and pedal, panic taking over as she attempts to move out of the way. You both flinch when the MPD car’s tail lights switch on, the engine revving and reversing. 
Both of your faces fall. “Emily...” You pant. 
“Oh God.”
It’s over in a couple of seconds. 
The headlights get closer and brighter, both cars barrelling towards you. You squeeze your eyes shut and brace yourselves for impact, your hand clasping hers as both cars ram into you, the seatbelt searing the neck of your skin. The airbags pummel your body from the front and side and your insides feel like they're turning upside down. 
Your neck snaps forward with the impact, glass shattering and piercing the skin on your face and arms as the blood pools slowly from your forehead. A high-pitched whine penetrates your skull as you look over to a barely conscious Emily, and then to the side mirror, a dark silhouette approaching the car. Your breathing is rapid, chest rising and falling as you hyperventilate before you finally black out with the taste of metal in your mouth. 
———
Hotch throws his keys haphazardly on to the table that sits next to the front door, loosens his tie and shrugs his blazer off. He finally breathes a sigh of semi-relief, feeling exhausted. He doesn’t bother calling out to the empty space to let Haley know he’s home, instead decides to just make his way upstairs and get a shower before turning in for the night. 
His shirt is unbuttoned and his socks are in his hands when he turns his attention towards the laundry basket in the corner of their bedroom. He goes to throw them in the hamper when he frowns, some stray fabric catching his attention behind the basket. 
Haley strolls into the room then, rubbing lotion into her hands as Hotch moves the basket to get a better view of the fabric behind it. She double takes when her eyes fall to what he’s doing, spotting what he’s reaching for. The colour drains from her face. 
She’s too late. 
Hotch pinches the fabric between his index finger and thumb and inspects it in front of him, frowning, Haley swallows dryly, going lightheaded.
A pair of boxers.
He frowns. They’re not his, but he swears he’s seen some like them before. 
“Hey, where did these-”
He barely gets through the whole sentence before Haley’s face gives her away entirely. Her lips are pursed and she’s breathing hard, wringing her hands. 
His face falls and he blinks at her, stuck in denial. 
Surely not. She couldn’t have- 
She averts her gaze, looking instead at the carpet on the floor, cheeks hot when the boxers are thrown at her feet. She flinches. 
“Explain.” He demands. 
She opens her mouth but no words come, her head hangs in shame.
“How long?” He asks. “How. Long?!” His voice booms.
“It happened when I left for those two weeks.” Her voice barely registers above a whisper. 
Anger bubbles in his chest when he does the math, “You’ve been cheating on me for two months? Two months?! Was that him this morning?” His nostrils are flared and he knows he’s getting louder now, but he doesn’t care. 
She nods. 
“Use your words, was it him?” He hisses. 
She sobs, “Yes.” 
His mind runs rampant with fury and humiliation, he’d spent the last four months trying to make sure he put her first, had tried to balance his personal and work life and instead of meeting him in the middle, she had betrayed him in such a humiliating way. 
He paces the length of their bedroom now, head scrambling at the proverbial slap he’s just received . The cold familiarity of where he’d seen the fabric before suddenly dawns on him, creeping up his spine.
He stops dead in his tracks, turning to face her, asking the question he doesn’t want the answer to. “What’s his name?” He asks evenly. 
“Jordan - Fitzgerald.” 
He’d always thought the phrase, blood turning to ice, was just a saying but when Haley says those two words, he feels as though the floor has been pulled out from under him and his stomach sinks. He tries to piece together all of the moving parts, tries to connect the dots - he knows what this is, but his brain is still playing catch up. 
He’s in a daze when he answers a call from McCall, his voice even. “I’m on my way to you, there’s been an accident.”
“An accident?” That pulls him out of his daze, a cold harsh push back into reality. Haley’s head whips up when she hears the words, tears streaming down her face. “Where?” He asks. 
McCall pauses. “It’s her.” 
Hotch can already feel what’s coming next, dread settling into his bones, his stomach churning when he remembers you’d planned to have dinner with your father. A violent shiver runs down his spine and he swallows down the bile that threatens to spill out. 
“Status?” He whispers.
“Missing.”
———
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