#he just goes 'can't we send it to our usual translator?'
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we're doing these workshop things to try to address some of the equity/workflow/workload problems in our department and our facilitator wants everyone to email her "the problem [we'd] like to solve in [our] large team" and how do i politely say i just want people to do their fucking jobs
#personal#i'm fed UP i'm FED UPPPPPP#with this one particular coworker rn#but there are several who are guilty of this shit#but this one guy#asked me to get a spanish version of a doc reprinted#i told him it hadn't been updated and to pull over the list of changes into that task (which he should have already done)#he just goes 'can't we send it to our usual translator?'#me: yes but i NEED A LIST OF THE CHANGES. you can just HIGHLIGHT THEM IN THE PDF. just DO YOUR JOB and GIVE ME THE CHANGES#he gives me a highlighted pdf and i'm looking at it before i send it for translation#AND HE USED THE WRONG FREAKING PDF#IT'S NOT THE MOST RECENT VERSION#IT'S NOT THE CORRECT DOC WITH THE MOST UPDATED COPY#the correct doc is IN OUR PROJECT MANAGEMENT SOFTWARE.#i deleted the incorrect version when i added the correct one so I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE HE PULLED THE INCORRECT ONE FROM#i want to scream#i'm SICK and TIRED of him doing the BARE MINIMUM and then DOING IT WRONG#EVERY SINGLE TIME#it's not MY job to make sure he does HIS job correctly. or AT ALL. oh my GOD i'm sick of it#(i made the changes in the english ver. so i know what's needed. it's like four minor things total.)#(i could absolutely do this myself and it would've been done already. but i'm trying to get him to DO HIS JOB.)#(instead of me just DOING HIS JOB FOR HIM every time bc then he'll never learn)#(but i am so FED UP WITH THIS. i have other shit to do.)#anyway i'm feeling ragey right now i'll delete this later probably
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WIP Wednesday Game
Taken from @kedreeva.
It’s WIP Wednesday, time for a little accountability, sharing your work, and getting a kick in the pants.
Here’s how it works:
In a reblog of this post (so people can find you in the notes) or new thread (w/ rules attached) if you want to play on your own, post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names.
Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to play!
After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can't share from (for example, an event or gift fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.
That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post. I’ll be searching the reblogs to find people to send asks to!
If you’re reading this, you’re invited!
If you see someone posting a WIP Wednesday Game snippet, send them an ask! Make them write.
file names:
omega!Clark and hungry!Kon
gentle princely caretaking
the wet nurse omegaverse
trans Clark and cis Kon
weird Kryptonian bonding rituals
snippet from "omega!Clark and hungry!Kon":
Jon peeks out of his room down the hall, looking intrigued, and lights up at the sight of the chocolate chips and the big bowl Clark always uses for pancake batter. Clark smiles at him, and he scurries down the hall and into the kitchen. Clark asks him to set the table, and he does. He also steals a significant percentage of the chocolate chips, but Clark accepts that loss as pup-induced taxation.
Lois's alarm goes off after Jon’s gotten out all the necessary dishes and Clark’s gotten the pans heating up, and she trudges sleepily out of their bedroom. Clark passes her a mug of the coffee he started as soon as he got up himself, and she makes a mumbly noise that he knows her well enough to translate as "I love you beyond all existence and where's the sugar".
He passes her the sugar and leans down to kiss her cheek. She turns her face into his throat and bites his scent gland a little harder than happens to be decent in front of either of their pups, but given the invulnerability just feels like a chaste little nibble. Clark gives her a soft purr of appreciation and Jon sticks out his tongue at them as he finishes setting the table.
"Grosssss," he says, making a face. "Don't be all mushy, we haven't even eaten yet!”
“I’m afraid we can’t promise that, kiddo,” Lois says, then yawns against Clark’s throat before taking her coffee to the table. Clark gets the bacon in the frying pan and starts carefully pouring pancake batter, and Jon drops into his usual seat at the table. Lois makes sleepy noises into her coffee.
“How many pancakes, Jonno?” Clark asks.
“Ten,” Jon says immediately, holding up both hands with a charming little grin. Lois snorts.
“Maybe if they’re very, very small,” she says wryly. “Baby pancakes. Infants. Tiny little dollops.”
“No way, I want big ones!” Jon says. Admittedly they do have a higher than human metabolism–Clark does not think of Kon’s too-thin wrists–but ten full-size pancakes is probably still pushing it.
“Maybe we’ll start a little smaller and work our way up,” Clark says, amused anyway. Jon pouts. Kon comes out of his own room already dressed and ready and sits down quietly at the table too, and Jon immediately brightens back up.
"Hi, Kon!" he greets excitedly. Kon always seems to wait to come out last, and Clark's never figured out why. He’s not even sure the kid even wears his pajamas, or if he just sleeps in his clothes. He never sees him in anything but the clothes he wears to school and his Superboy suit and jacket. “Mom’s making pancakes!”
“Sure,” Kon says. He obviously knew that, of course, given his enhanced senses and also the very obvious process that is Clark pouring pancake batter into a pan, but Jon’s clearly too excited to have thought that one through. Clark doesn’t comment either way, just smiles at Kon.
“Morning, Kon,” he says. “How many pancakes would you like?”
“Whatever’s fine,” Kon says, visibly repressing the urge to fidget in his seat. Clark hates that answer almost as much as the sight of his too-sharp face and those too-thin wrists and how close to stray he smells.
“Three to start?” he suggests.
“Sure,” Kon says. Clark can’t call it a victory, but at least it’s an answer.
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Episode 34 - The Bonds of Fate! Tailmon / The Eighth Child Revealed
Previously on Digimon Adventure: If Vamdemon was even half as good at murdering children as he is at murdering childhoods, he would have won this thing by now.
Now we turn our attention back to the Yagami household.
After a long day of searching outward from Shibaura, Taichi returns home late. We begin the episode looking at the outside of his complex late at night, while we hear him enter the apartment.
Taichi: I'm back! Yuuko: Welcome home! You're late. (phone rings) Taichi: Ah! I'll get it!
Taichi goes straight for the phone and we come in on him, with Agumon standing there in plain sight.
Taichi: Hi, Yagami residence. Moshi moshi? ... Oh, Jou! Did you find the Eighth Child?
This feels like a fun time to talk about another cultural peculiarity of Japanese language. Moshi moshi is another one of those phrases that has a pretty fair translation but doesn't fully translate. It's typically translated as "Hello", which is a reasonable way to take it.
Moshi moshi is an informal phone greeting stemming from the verb mousu, which means to speak. Basically, it's common practice in Japan when chatting with friends over the phone to begin the conversation by going "Talk-talk!" A bit odd when you look at it too closely, but it's one of those fun linguistic things that every culture develops and then does without thinking about it, like putting the letters O and K together to signify that things are fine.
Try not to do it in a professional environment, however. It is informal speech.
Taichi, realizing how dumb his Partner is being right now, silently points at his bedroom. Agumon opens the door and goes inside without a word.
Jou: No, I had no luck at all. No one else besides us actually left Hikarigaoka! Taichi: That's impossible! There has to be one!
Right as Taichi says that, we cut to an overhead shot of the living room where we can see Hikari reading on the sofa. Y'know. A fun angle change. No particular reason for that; It's not related to anything he said just now.
Also, Meeko's there! She came home. What a good kitty.
Jou: I've called everybody in every phone book. The only phone book we haven't touched yet is yours, Taichi. Taichi: (deer in headlights) Oh, gotcha... I wonder where I put it.... Jou: It's the only lead we have left so make sure you find it! Taichi: Right, right, got it. (hangs up)
Taichi bolts into his room to redouble the search effort that got him buried in debris this morning.
In the original, the phone suddenly ringing provides Taichi with an opportunity to escape the conversation about his tardiness. In the dub, Yuuko is already letting it ring off the hook when Tai walks in the door.
(phone ringing) Tai: Hey, mom! I'm home! Yuuko: Tai, you're late! Tai: I'll get it!
Weird. Like, I know nobody answers their phones anymore but in the 90's sometimes people called you who actually had important things to say.
Tai: Hello. Kamiya Residence. Yeah, Joe! ... So did you find the Eighth DigiDestined kid yet? (Tai sends Agumon to his room) Joe: No, I didn't have any luck. There weren't any other students who moved from Highton View Terrace. Tai: But that can't be right! There must be someone else! Joe: Well, whoever it is, they weren't in my address book! Check your own book before you start yelling at me! Tai: (deer in headlights) Oh, that's right. What did I do with my book, anyway? Uh.... Joe: You still haven't found it!? Oh, great! It's only the future of the world depending on you! Tai: (annoyed) I'll find it! (hangs up)
Emphasis on "my" theirs; He actually does put a lot of emphasis on that word to set up his follow-up statement. But it's also the point of contention in this exchange.
Like. Very minor tonal thing, it's not a big deal in this exchange: As usual, Jou has more of a Senpai Voice and speaks to Taichi from a position of authority here while Joe flounders and whines. The purpose of this call is to berate Taichi for his failure to complete the assignment they were all given and emphasize the importance of doing it.
Y'know. Senpai work.
But the more glaring problem is the plot contradiction. It comes when he says, in very specific and emphasized terms, "my address book". Did the dub forget that he spent today calling everybody's address books?
That's kind of important. Because if he's only finished one book then he still has five other books he can go through before Tai's becomes the final hope we have. Tai himself said that Sora was in his class so their books are probably the same anyway. Go through Sora's book, Joe!
Taichi resumes searching his room by dumping his stuff out on the floor.
Agumon: What are you doing? Taichi: I can't find my student phone book.
Out in the living room, Hikari hears the commotion and seems entertained by it.
Hikari: (to Meeko) Onii-chan is always making a mess, huh? Meeko: (happy) Mroooowr....
Over in the dub:
Agumon: What are you doing? Tai: I'm trying to find my address book! (Out in the living room) Kari: Meeko, Tai's room is messier than your litter box. Meeko: (happy) Nyah?
I've mentioned before that Japanese is a very gender-neutral language. Something you need to understand about that is that a lot of the time when you see pronouns in a subtitle, they're made the hell up. Translators often have to make an educated guess about what pronoun to put here.
This can cause major problems with characters whose pronouns are meant to be a surprise reveal later down the line. It's easy to spend several episodes not committing to a he or a she or a they for a given character in Japanese, but harder to do that in English. In fact, often the giveaway isn't what words others use to describe them, but whether they make masculine or feminine word choices in their own language. Though even that's not guaranteed.
I've gone back and forth a lot about Digimon pronouns. Their genders are aesthetic and many don't even have that much. Official translations tend to abide by either a male default or it/its, neither of which has aged well.
The reason this is important is because the lack of a pronoun caused both the dub and sub to make an error here. Taichi is not making a mess in his room. Taichi and Hikari share a bedroom.
It's an easy to mistake to make, especially if you haven't seen the OVA. We've seen Hikari come and go from their room, particularly when she was sick back in Taichi's first return trip to Odaiba. But we haven't seen her use the bunk bed in the anime proper yet, so it's easy to overlook.
Taichi, it seems, sleeps on the bottom bunk while Hikari has the top bunk. This is a reversal of the OVA, where Taichi was up top and Hikari was on the bottom. I wonder why they switched? Maybe Hikari got older and wanted to have the big kid roost?
In any case, while Hikari's playing with Meeko, we pan over to Tailmon across the street. It seems she's acquired one of those mini telescopes that Taichi has.
Narrator: Tailmon was watching Taichi and his family from the top of the building across from them. Although she suspected that Hikari was the Eighth Child, Tailmon could not attack her.
Tailmon watches Hikari pick up and play with Meeko. The affection on display here sends her into a flashback of her aborted attempt to assassinate Hikari.
Tailmon: Why? Why couldn't I do it when I had the chance? (Tailmon looks again, seeing Meeko curled up in Hikari's lap) Tailmon: Hmph. A domestic cat? She has it so easy. She's given food and sleeps all day. Sometimes she has to give her owners some affection.
Over in the dub, Gatomon handles the narration herself.
Gatomon: If Kari really is the Eighth DigiDestined Child then I have to destroy her. But every time I see her, I get this strange sensation. I still don't understand why I wasn't able to attack her when I had the chance. (Flashback) Gatomon: What happened? I could have stopped the DigiDestined once and for all but something was pulling me away. (Gatomon looks again, seeing Meeko curled up in Kari's lap) Gatomon: Look at that little pet cat over there, she's got it so easy. She gets fed gourmet food out of the can and she gets to chase a sock all day! Talk about a purr-fect life.
Gatomon's sassy performance doesn't really suit these emotional moments but she goes hard when she gets to be snide and pissy towards Meeko.
At this point, Tailmon is so upset that she lowers the telescope and starts verbally shadowboxing the night air around her.
Tailmon: Yes, I'm being unreasonable! No one ever accepted me for who I was!
Tailmon launches into a flashback from Vamdemon's Castle.
Tailmon (V.O.): When I was in my Child form Plotmon, Vamdemon pushed me around every day. And if anything went wrong, he'd....
We see Vamdemon's Bloody Stream whipping Plotmon, torturing her. He hits her once on the top of her head, and then the second strike throws her down the stairs. When she gets back to her feet, looking up at him, he speaks.
Vamdemon: I'll make you suffer the same pain every time you look at me with those eyes. Understand?
He resumes lashing her with his Bloody Stream. Plotmon covers her face with her forelegs and closes her eyes, weathering the hits.
Tailmon (V.O.): Even when I got more skilled, he'd still beat me down every day. Just because he didn't like my eyes.
Back in the present, she pulls back one of her claw gloves to reveal a cross-shaped scar on the back of her paw.
Tailmon: Vamdemon gave me this scar. But these are just the eyes I was born with!
There is a lot going through Tailmon's mind right now. The love and affection that Hikari showers on Meeko has sent Tailmon spiraling down a trauma hole.
In the dub:
Gatomon: Nobody was nice to me like that when I was growing up. Nobody was nice, period! (flashback) Gatomon (V.O.): Back when I was Salamon, I was a slave to the evil Myotismon.
The dub cuts the footage of Vamdemon's Bloody Stream whips striking Plotmon, as well as her falling down the stairs. We go straight from Myotismon raising his arm to strike to a trembling Salamon trying to stand at the bottom of the stairs.
Myotismon: Every time you look at me with those eyes, I'll have to hurt you.
They cut shots out of the second round of torture too, but still leave enough in to maintain the impression. We see his Bloody Stream whips lashing through the air but we don't see them making contact. Then we go to a scowling, brutalized Salamon.
Gatomon (V.O.): I couldn't understand. I guess he just didn't like my eyes. (Back in the present, Gatomon pulls back her claw glove to reveal her scar) Gatomon: This is one of the scars that Myotismon gave me, just because I have these eyes. It's not my fault!
Obviously they weren't going to be able to show Dracula whipping a puppy in full graphic detail on Fox Kids. But honestly, this scene is a masterpiece of pragmatic adaptation. They preserve the tone and are able to still imply the brutal violence they had to cut out. We don't see the lashes make contact but we see the marks on Salamon's skin nonetheless.
They even keep the scar, and call it a scar. They hit every narrative and tonal beat they need to hit here. It manages to be perfect despite the extensive cuts.
A quick note on their names: Plotmon is named that because she's based on the plott hound, a breed of dog. Salamon has no meaning. Terry-Lei O'Malley, one of the people working on the dub team, named Salamon after her own pet cat before seeing the character design and finding out she's actually a dog in that form.
Tailmon continues to spiral.
Tailmon: Born... Where was I even born, anyway? What was I doing before I met Vamdemon? I can't remember. Wizarmon: Reminiscing, are we?
Wizarmon levitates down from the air, hovering over the rooftop.
Tailmon: I've told you to stop reading my mind without my permission! Wizarmon: (sincerely) I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry. Tailmon: Hurry up and go find the Eighth Child, Wizarmon! Wizarmon: Ah, of course....
Wizarmon humbly returns to the sky and resumes his search for the Eighth Child.
You can feel the panic in Tailmon's voice here. She has officially moved from "monitoring Hikari in case" to "actively withholding information". She practically shrieks at Wizarmon to go the fuck away because she doesn't want him reading something that might give Hikari away.
As soon as he's gone, she goes right back to her stalking ledge. The camera slowly zooms in on her wide eyes, and we hear Meeko meowing gently in the background.
In the dub:
Gatomon: I wish I could remember where I was born. I have no idea what I did before I met Myotismon. My past is a blur. Wizardmon: (descends) Thinking about the good ol' days? Gatomon: I'm not going to tell you again, Wizardmon; Don't read my thoughts without my permission! Wizardmon: (sincerely) I'm sorry, Gatomon. Please forgive me. Gatomon: And shouldn't you be out looking for the Eighth DigiDestined human!? Wizardmon: Yes, I'll get right no it! (flies away)
Pretty much the same. The only notable difference comes after the exchange, when Gatomon returns to the ledge. Instead of Meeko, we hear Gatomon cackling triumphantly. Odd choice.
Wizarmon goes down into Odaiba, testing kids with his Cosplay Crest but predictably getting nothing for it.
Honestly, I'm pretty sure he's not even trying. He shouldn't even be in Odaiba; We're supposed to be fanning out northwest from the other side of the Rainbow Bridge. Tailmon got relegated to this spot by PicoDevimon out of spite, and I think Wizarmon came here to support her.
Which is what makes it all the more surprising, flying over one of Odaiba's parks, when suddenly the fake Crest begins to react.
Wizarmon: It's glowing? Why here?
Wizarmon follows the fake Crest's shimmer to a crow's nest. Easily fending off the crow, he plunders its contents.
Wizarmon: A Digivice!?
He picks up the Digivice in his hand, but then hears a voice calling out to him from above and behind.
PicoDevimon: HEEEEY!!! WIZARMON!!! (Wizarmon tightly closes his fist around the Digivice.) PicoDevimon: (approaching) What are you doing over there? Wizarmon: (tucks the Digivice in his cloak) Uh, nothing. PicoDevimon: I don't think doing nothing would led you out here. You found something, didn't you? Wizarmon: You got me, I can't hide anything from you. PicoDevimon: What!? Wizarmon: This world is so much fun! (sheepish) I got a little drunk. HIC!
He pulls a bottle of booze from his cloak, revealing his alleged misbehavior to PicoDevimon. PicoDevimon is not impressed.
PicoDevimon: Not you too. Keep that up and you'll be end up like Pumpmon and Gotsumon. Wizarmon: Oh, please don't tell Vamdemon-sama about this. Okay?
He holds out the bottle to PicoDevimon, who grumpily takes it.
PicoDevimon: Yeah, yeah. Ugh, everyone Tailmon brought with her is useless!
PicoDevimon flies away, his suspicions pacified by Wizarmon's confession to a fake lesser offense. Once he's gone, Wizarmon turns back away from where he went and inspects the Digivice once more.
Wizarmon: I can't turn this Digivice over to Vamdemon. But if the Digivice is here, then where is the Eighth Child?
Here, we see the events of last episode put into play for the ongoing plot. Pumpmon and Gotsumon's fate is a shadow over Tailmon and Wizarmon's choices. We had a chance to see how Vamdemon reacts to treachery before moving into the part of the story where more important characters are behaving treacherously.
With villains, you always kinda know that if their minions turn on them, they won't handle it well. But there's a difference between that general vibe versus seeing, with our own eyes, that Vamdemon will ruthlessly execute them if he gets a whiff of betrayal.
By the way, Wizarmon doesn't get a rundown so we'll do it here. He's an Adult-stage Data-type Digimon from the Nightmare Soldiers lineup.
Alright, let's go see how the dub handles Wizarmon's booze.
Wizardmon: It's reacting! I wonder what's causing it? (Wizardmon follows the signal to the nest) Wizardmon: The Digivice! THUNDER BALL!!!
The attack he uses to scare off the crow, a glowing yellow orb of energy, has no name in the original. But the dub goes ahead and calls it an attack. That's fair, it's a magical projectile so it probably should be named.
(Wizardmon takes the Digivice) DemiDevimon: HEY, WIZARDMON!!! (Wizardmon tightly closes his fist around the Digivice.) DemiDevimon: (approaching) Whatcha doin' over there? Wizardmon: (tucks the Digivice in his cloak) Uh, nothing. DemiDevimon: It's hard to believe you came all the way out here to do nothing. Come on, tell me what you found! Wizardmon: Alright, but if I show you, you have to promise not to tell anyone! DemiDevimon: C'mon, show me! Wizardmon: Alright, it's a bottle of green chili sauce. It's great on tacos! (Wizardmon pulls the bottle out of his cloak) DemiDevimon: What are you doing eating on the job when there's work to be done!? You should be looking for the Eighth DigiDestined Child like the others! Wizardmon: Please don't tell Lord Myotismon! Why don't you get rid of this for me? (Wizardmon hands the bottle over to DemiDevimon) DemiDevimon: Alright. Boy, you know what I hope? I hope that the all-night drive-through is still open! Wizardmon: (turns back around and takes out the Digivice) There's no way I'm handing this over to DemiDevimon! He'll take all the credit for himself. But wait, if the Digivice is here, where is the Eighth Child hiding?
Wizardmon's out here in the woods chugging chili sauce straight from the bottle. That's a plausible explanation, to be sure.
Nah, he straight-up says that he's been putting it on food; It's just funnier to think of it that way. Though DemiDevimon apparently using drive-throughs to satisfy his own munchies raises so many hilarious logistical questions.
In the original, it's ambiguous whether he's surrendering the bottle to PicoDevimon as contraband or giving it to him as a bribe. Or both. The dub comes down on the side of bribe.
The big narrative record scratch is Wizardmon's last line. Wizarmon says he can't give the Digivice to Vamdemon, hinting at an ulterior motive lurking behind his presence among Tailmon's mercenaries. Concealing the Digivice is a purposeful, calculated betrayal.
Wizardmon doesn't want to give it to DemiDevimon because the little bugger will take all the credit, indicating that he fully intends to surrender Kari to Myotismon.
We cut back to the Yagami residence, where Taichi and Hikari eat watermelon while they watch the news.
Anchor: In conclusion, Tokyo has been flooded by eyewitness accounts of these large, strange creatures with the most recent occurrence happening in Shibuya. Further, many young women with acute anemia have been found collapsed in Shibuya's streets. Investigation is ongoing as to whether these events are related. And now weather! Taichi: (shuts off the TV) ...acute anemia?
Yeah, Taichi, that's where you have no blood. So they have to put you in the hospital and pump you full of blood.
Well, now we know why Vamdemon was in the neighborhood last episode. He went to Shibuya to check out one of the major epicenters for youth culture in Tokyo, like Pumpmon and Gotsumon. But for different reasons.
He was lurking around Shibuya getting his drink on when suddenly he caught wind of their commotion. Everything escalated from there.
In the dub:
Anchor: Both horses were reported to be in stable condition. Now back to our top story: Several more strange monsters have been sighted earlier today in and around the Tokyo area. In the same community, there have been more reports of young girls being struck down by what doctors are calling "sudden anemia". Investigators say these incidents may be related. Now on to the weather! Tai: (shuts off the TV) Sudden anemia!?
Good effort, mostly works. However, the reluctance to refer to Shibuya by name confuses matters a bit. Young girls being struck down "in the same community" could easily just mean the Tokyo area. You wouldn't know that he means Myotismon was attacking girls in Shibuya specifically from that remark.
Suddenly, the phone rings.
Taichi: I'll get it! (answers) Yamato: Taichi? Taichi: Oh, Yamato! Did you see the news? Yamato: I didn't have to; I was there in Shibuya! Taichi: Wait... That was you they were talking about!?
Taichi races into the kids' room and slams the door so he can speak openly.
Yamato: Vamdemon attacked us. He even killed his own followers. Taichi: WHY!?!? Yamato: Taichi, we can't predict what he's going to do next. We have to find the Eighth Child fast! Taichi: We have to find the Eighth Child before Vamdemon does!
Yamato barely even gives Taichi a glimpse of what he and Takeru lived through tonight and, instantly, Taichi's on the same page. What the fuck, what the fuck, we need to protect the Eighth Child.
In the dub:
Tai: I'll get it! (answers) Matt: Tai? Tai: Oh, hi, Matt! Did you just see the news? Matt: I didn't have to see it 'cause I was there! We just got back from the city. Tai: You did? So that report on television about the monsters was... (goes in the room) Matt: Right! It was Myotismon! And was he on a warpath. He even got rid of two of his flunkies! Agumon: HUH!?!? Tai: What!? Matt: Tai, we don't know how much time we've got left! I'm telling you, we've got to hurry up and find the Eighth Child! Tai: Myotismon will mangle him! I mean, if he finds him before we do!
The dialogue here is a sound adaptation. However, there are two notes that don't relate to the script.
First, Tai leaves his door wide open while he has this conversation. There's no animation for him closing his door; In the original, he runs into the room and then we cut to the interior and hear a door closing effect. Because there's no animation for it, the dub overlooks it completely. His parents are free to listen in on this.
Second, Agumon reacts to what Matt is saying on the phone to Tai. In the original, when Taichi screams "WHY!?!?" into the phone, it startles Agumon who wordlessly jumps back. In the dub, Agumon reacts before Tai does.
If you're wondering how they can time that to Taichi's lip flaps, the answer is that they don't. Agumon's "HUH!?" comes out of Tai's mouth, and then Tai's mouth is closed when he delivers his own "What!?" I think the audio recordings might have been inserted backwards by mistake.
Outside, Tailmon is still watching Hikari. Wizarmon returns to her stalking rooftop.
Tailmon: Wizarmon? What's wrong? Have you found the Eighth Child? Wizarmon: No, I haven't, but.... Tailmon: But what?
Wizarmon takes the Digivice from his cloak and shows it to Tailmon.
Tailmon: THE DIGIVICE!!! Why do you have that!? Wizarmon: I found it in a crow's nest in Ariake Forest.
Alright, Map Time. As usual, the black circle is Daiba Park, Vamdemon's ironic staging ground for infiltrating the rest of the city across the Rainbow Bridge. The blue circle is Odaiba Seaside Park, where Tailmon first met Hikari. The red circle is Ariake Tennis Park, a large forested park full of tennis courts. Hikari's Digivice was in one of those trees in the tennis park.
Tailmon: Then the Eighth Child must be near there! Wizarmon: No. The Eighth Child is.... Tailmon: The Eighth Child is...? Wizarmon: Well. Tailmon. Tailmon: What? Wizarmon: I think the Eighth Child could be deep inside your heart. Tailmon: In my heart?
This is a hard conversation for Wizarmon to have. How do you, as an outside individual, even begin to explain this?
In the dub:
Gatomon: Wizardmon, what is it now!? Go away before I use you as my scratching post! Wizardmon: Sorry to disturb you again, Gatomon, but-- Gatomon: But WHAT!??! (Wizardmon reveals the Digivice) Gatomon: The Digivice! Where'd you get it!? Wizardmon: I found it in a crow's nest in the Aracky Woods! Gatomon: Then the Eighth DigiDestined must be somewhere near there! Wizardmon: No, the Eighth Child is.... Gatomon: Tell me right now! Wizardmon: Well, you see, Gatomon.... Gatomon: What!? Wizardmon: I wonder if the location of the child isn't somewhere inside your own heart. Gatomon: (quietly) ...what are you saying?
Bless his heart, Wizardmon's actor tries to say Ariake but we all know they don't do second takes around here. The kids at home won't know it's wrong anyway.
Gatomon is more aggressive and confrontational here than Tailmon, but it works well for this interpretation of the character. I said before that her sassy performance works well when she's being wicked but less so when she's being vulnerable, and here it comes together.
The sudden fracture, the collapse of all of her smarm into the quiet, reserved last line hits like a bombshell. Great work there.
Tailmon has another flashback, farther than the last. This time to being a Baby-stage Nyaromon, alone at night somewhere in the Digimon World.
Wizarmon: Your heart is kept prisoner under tight locks. I think perhaps the key to finding the Eighth Child is hidden inside that closed-off heart of yours. Tailmon: ... Wizarmon: Are you afraid of recovering the memories of your youth? Why aren't you trying to remember? Take back the memories you've lost! Remember your past without fear! Tailmon: (snaps suddenly) YOU!!! Did Vamdemon send you here!? Wizarmon: I'm fighting on your side. Vamdemon has nothing to do with this.
Here, Wizarmon reveals his ulterior motives. As he implied earlier, he doesn't give a shit about the mission. He's trying to help Tailmon. That's the only reason he signed on. He's been a traitor since they day they came to Tokyo.
Incidentally, the place Nyaromon was stranded at is pretty clearly the vast desert from the Etemon arc.
In the dub:
Wizardmon: I believe that, long ago, you buried away an important part of yourself. And somewhere deep inside your heart lies the key to the identity of the Eighth DigiDestined Child. Try to remember. Gatomon: ... Wizardmon: What's holding you back? Could it be you're afraid of what you might find? You can get your lost memories back, Gatomon; You can remember your past without fear! End your long nightmare and try to remember! Gatomon: (snaps suddenly) Just leave me alone! Who sent you here!? Myotismon!? Wizardmon: Myotismon has nothing to do with this. I fight by your side, not his. I tell you these things now because you are my friend.
Again, this is all basically perfect. The wording is a little different but it's nearly 1:1 with the original script.
Which is, itself, a bit of a contradiction; He stated earlier that he wanted the accolades from finding Kari for Myotismon, but now he's back on-script.
Wizarmon goes into a flashback of his own, filling in the background on their relationship. We see him wandering aimlessly in Server's great desert, eventually collapsing in a city street.
Wizarmon (V.O.): Before I met you, I was always alone. I traveled by myself, unable to make friends. I was starving, tired, and lonely. When I finally collapsed, no one stopped to help me. I thought death would come too soon. But then you came.
In flashback, Tailmon gives Wizarmon a bowl of water to drink from, saving his life.
Tailmon: Hey! What's wrong? HEY!!! HANG IN THERE!!!
He passes out. But he wakes up at a small camp with Tailmon.
Tailmon: You're awake. Wizarmon: Were you the one who saved me? Tailmon: I didn't do anything so noble. I just couldn't leave you lying there. (Wizarmon uses his staff to push himself up to his feet.) Wizarmon: I'll leave now.... Tailmon: Your body won't be able to withstand it yet. Wizarmon: I appreciate your help but I have nothing to give you in return. Tailmon: I get that. You've lived alone for a long time. Wizarmon: What? Tailmon: When you live in solitude for too long, your heart turns cold. It happens to everyone; Even me.
Back in the present, Tailmon's a little confused by this anecdote.
Tailmon: I don't remember that. Wizarmon: I was about to die with a heart of stone because of my loneliness. The person who freed me from that loneliness, Tailmon, was you.
Wizarmon owes Tailmon a debt that he is here, now, actively trying to repay. A debt of friendship, of empathy, and of kindness in dire times.
In the dub:
Wizardmon (V.O.): Before I met you, I was always alone. I was constantly traveling, never stopping to make any friends. Then, one day, I fell from the sky and crashed but no one stopped to help me. I thought I was a goner until you came. Gatomon: Here. Drink this. (Gatomon gives Wizardmon a bowl of water to drink from) Wizardmon: (cough) Gatomon: Looks like he passed out. (Cut to Wizardmon waking up in Gatomon's camp) Gatomon: Ahh, you're awake. Wizardmon: Huh? Did you save me? Gatomon: I didn't do that much. I just couldn't leave you lying there. Wizardmon: Well, thanks. I guess I'll be going now. Gatomon: Don't be silly. You're not strong enough to go. Wizardmon: I know you helped me but I don't have anything for you. Gatomon: I don't want anything. You must be very lonely to say that. Wizardmon: What do you mean? Gatomon: When you've been alone for a long time, your heart becomes very hard. It happens to everyone, you know. Even me. (Back to the present.) Gatomon: I don't remember any of that. Wizardmon: Well, that's how it happened. I thought you saved me because you wanted something in return; I couldn't understand the concept of compassion because loneliness had hardened my heart. But you taught me that all creatures have good inside of them.
So, a couple things here. First, Wizardmon was in dire straits because he lost control while flying along one day and crashed. Weird change to make. Were they trying to dial back the peril? An accidental injury is a lot less severe than dying of exhaustion.
Second, tonal shift at the end there. Wizarmon's anecdote is about the bond of friendship and gratitude that Tailmon cultivated in Wizarmon's heart. It's his reason for acting now. Wizardmon's anecdote is a lesson in moral virtue; Gatomon's kind gesture restored his faith that people, as a whole, have intrinsic goodness.
Wizarmon continues.
Wizarmon: This is what I remember you telling me back then. (Back into the flashback) Tailmon: Week after week, waiting and waiting, searching and searching, but I never find her! Wizarmon: Waiting? Searching? For who? Tailmon: I don't know! I can't remember anymore! But I was waiting for someone.... (Return to present) Tailmon: Waiting? Me? Wizarmon: Yes. That is what you said. Tailmon: Who was I waiting for? Who was I searching for?
Suddenly, her train of thought is broken by a distant meowing.
Meeko: Meow.... Hikari: Meeko! Where are you trying to go?
Hikari follows Meeko out onto the Yagami balcony, picking her up.
Hikari: You can't come out this late. Stay inside.
She puts Meeko back inside and closes the door. Suddenly, the sound of an ambulance streaking past grabs her attention, and she races over to the balcony to look.
In the dub:
Wizardmon: That's when you told me your secret. (flashback) Gatomon: My whole life, I just keep waiting and searching but... I never find her. Wizardmon: Find who? Who are you waiting and searching for? Gatomon: I can't remember; It was too long ago. All I know is, I'm waiting for someone. (Return to present) Gatomon: Waiting? Me? Wizardmon: That's what you told me. Gatomon: Why can't I remember who I was waiting for? Who could it possibly be? Meeko: Nyow! Gatomon: Huh!? Kari: Meeko! (Kari picks up Meeko) Kari: Where do you think you're going? You can't come out here at this hour. Go back inside. Good kitty.
As before, the sound effects don't come through. There's no ambulance in this version, so Kari suddenly sprints over to the balcony to peek over it for no particular reason. This still works, though; She's a kid; She has energy.
When Tailmon rushes to the balcony to check on Hikari, Wizarmon follows her reaction to its natural conclusion.
Wizarmon: Let's go find out. Tailmon: WAIT!!!
Pouncing on this opportunity, Wizarmon flies straight across to the Yagami apartment.
Hikari: You're.... Wizarmon: I am Wizarmon. Hikari: (scared) You're flying!
Tailmon makes the jump, bounding over onto the Yagami balcony's railing and flipping down onto the balcony itself.
Hikari: Ah! You're the one I met this afternoon. You came back! You really are one of Koromon's friends, aren't you?
The two Digimon waste no time with idle chatter. Wizarmon hands the Eighth Digivice to Tailmon, who holds it out for Hikari.
Hikari: What is that? (reaches out) What...?
When Hikari reaches for it, the holy energy inside of it begins to shine.
Tailmon: Is this girl the Eighth Child? Wizarmon: (takes back the Digivice) Yes, she is. Tailmon: Then who is her Digimon!? Wizarmon: Think back. Who were you waiting for? Tailmon: You're right. I do remember waiting for someone....
Wizarmon, why did you take the Digivice back? That belongs to Hikari.
Whatever the case, shocking truths about Tailmon about to be dropped in 5... 4... 3....
In the dub:
Wizardmon: I think perhaps your search is finally over! Gatomon: Huh!? (Wizardmon flies over to the Kamiya balcony) Kari: (gasp) Who are you!? Wizardmon: Wizardmon. Kari: How are you able to fly like that? Wizardmon: Oh! Uh... Well, I-- (Gatomon bounds over) Kari: Oh, it's you. Hello again. You're Agumon's friend, aren't you? How come you ran away last time I saw you? (Wizardmon gives Gatomon the Digivice and they perform the test) Kari: What's that thing? (reaches out) Can I see it? (The light inside the Digivice shines) Gatomon: (gasp) Wizardmon, tell me: Is this girl the Eighth DigiDestined? Wizardmon: (takes the Digivice back) Yes! Gatomon: Well, then who is her Digimon...? Wizardmon: I think you know. You were waiting for someone. Try to remember. Gatomon: Hold on, my memory is starting to come back!
Kari gives zero fucks about anything. She is the picture of "Sure, I guess this is happening right now" throughout this entire scene.
Backstory Unlocked. Tailmon remembers the full truth of where she came from.
We find Nyaromon alone in that plateau forest on File Island.
Tailmon (V.O.): Ever since I was in my Baby form, Nyaromon, I was waiting for someone. Day after day. I waited and waited but no one ever came.
Nyaromon waits through the changing of the seasons.
Tailmon (V.O.) When I became Plotmon, I went on a journey to find her instead of passively waiting.
There's an implication here that Nyaromon was in that forest back in Episode 1 with the rest of them. Waiting for a Chosen Child who missed the boat. Eventually, she evolved and somehow made the trip to Server on the other side of the ocean. We see Plotmon in the great desert, followed by the lake where we had to get the band back together, and then finally the gnarled woods around Vamdemon's castle.
Vamdemon emerges form the woods, descending ominously towards Plotmon.
Tailmon (V.O.): But the person who found me was not who I was waiting for. It was Vamdemon. (Back to the present) Tailmon: Then the days of despair began. Before I knew it, I'd forgotten. I forgot I was waiting for someone. Searching for someone. Hikari: What are you talking about? This Eighth Chosen Child you're talking about, do you mean me?
And there we have it. The true origin of Tailmon, the Partner Digimon to Chosen Child Yagami Hikari.
The dub explains it thusly:
Gatomon (V.O.): Hold on, my memory is starting to come back. Yes, I was definitely waiting for someone. Ever since I was Nyaromon, I was so lonely. Every day, I just kept waiting and waiting. The seasons changed and the years rolled by and still I kept waiting, but no one ever came. (Salamon goes to Server Continent) Gatomon (V.O.): Then, when I became Salamon, I started searching. I went on a journey, but what I finally found was not the someone I had been waiting for! (Myotismon appears in front of Salamon) Gatomon (V.O.): Instead I found evil and darkness. Myotismon. (Back in the present) Gatomon: Then those days of torture and despair began, and I started to forget. Forget that I was waiting for someone. Searching for someone. Kari: W-What are you guys talking about? What does any of this have to do with me?
Almost did a spit take when the censors let Gatomon describe Myotismon's treatment as "torture and despair". We really are pushing the needle as far as we can get away with on this particular plot point, and I appreciate that.
Unfortunately, the balcony outside Taichi and Hikari's room is not a safe place to be holding this conversation.
While Taichi's inside going through his desk, Agumon suddenly notices something.
Agumon: Someone's outside talking to Hikari! Taichi: Huh!? What!?
In full Stranger Danger alarm, Taichi throws open the glass door and sprints out onto the balcony.
Taichi: Who's there!? (Taichi sees them) Taichi: Digimon! Hikari: Onii-chan! Taichi: What do you want with Hikari!? Wizarmon: Wait! Hear us out first! Taichi: Hikari, get away from them! They're the enemy! Hikari: You're wrong, Onii-chan! Tailmon is looking for the Eighth Child and--
"They're not the enemy; They just want to find the Eighth Child!" In a fit of dramatic irony, Hikari has no idea how little that explanation will do to de-escalate this situation. Not helping is that Yamato's call earlier has Taichi and Agumon's hackles up. Further not helping is that Taichi and Agumon aren't exactly among the kids who will think first and act later.
Everything happens in an instant. Agumon fires the shot that ends the standoff, spitting out a Baby Flame while Hikari is still in the crossfire. What the actual fuck, Agumon.
Hikari instinctively raises her arms to take the hit herself, but Tailmon acts quickly and shoves Hikari out of the way - costing her the time she needs to evade it herself.
Agumon's Baby Flame slams into Tailmon, throwing her back against the balcony wall.
Hikari: TAILMOOOOOOON!!!
In the dub:
Agumon: Someone's out there talking to Kari! Tai: Huh!? (goes outside) KARI, GET AWAY!!! Kari: What's the matter, Tai? Tai: What do you Digimon want!? Wizardmon: Wait! Listen to what I have to say. Tai: Kari! You get over here! Those two are evil Digimon! Kari: No, they're not evil. Gatomon has been searching for me! For me and the Eighth DigiDestined Child!
Kari gets further in trying to explain this than Hikari does. However, she trips over her words when she tries to convey the key issue. She is also, like Hikari, suffering from dramatic irony preventing her from realizing that her words will only make this situation worse even if she does get the idea across.
The last thing Tai/chi wants to hear right now is, "The minions of Vamdemon/Myotismon are looking for the Eighth Child and they found me!"
The dub keeps the shot of Pepper Breath connecting with Gatomon's face but cuts the shot of her slamming into the balcony wall. To replace it, they splice in a copy/paste of Tai's "Those two are evil Digimon!" outburst.
Tai: Kari, are you okay!? Kari: OH NO, GATOMON!!!
ANYWAYS LET'S GO TO COMMERCIAL
HEY KIDS DO YOU WANT TO EAT AT MCDONALDS!?!?
That's not a dub thing. They both do it. Agumon blasts Tailmon against the wall, Hikari screams at the top of her lungs, and now it's time to sell you some toys. Assholes. XD
Upon our return from commercial, Hikari runs to Tailmon.
Hikari: Tailmon! Tailmon: Hikari... I'm okay. That was nothing.
That's the resolution to the suspenseful commercial cliffhanger. XD Tailmon gets up like, "Yeah, I'm Adult-stage; kiddy pool attacks like that don't mean shit to me." Checks out.
Taichi: (stunned) Tailmon... protected Hikari.... Wizarmon: Now have you recovered all of your repressed memories? Tailmon: Yes. I was waiting for the Eighth Chosen Child. Hikari, I was waiting for you! Hikari: Waiting... for me? Tailmon: Forever and ever, I searched for you!
Tailmon gives Hikari a hug.
Tailmon: Hikari.... Hikari: Tailmon.... (Hikari looks at Taichi) Onii-chan, Tailmon is my Digimon!
At long last, Hikari and Tailmon are united.
While Tailmon shrugs the attack off because it's a baby-ass flame, Gatomon wields her pathos like a shield against it.
Kari: You alright? Gatomon: I'm fine. This is nothing compared to what I've been through.
I mean. Obviously the censors disagree. They cut both.
Tai: Did you see that!? Gatomon saved Kari! Wizardmon: Now that you remember, do you understand? Gatomon: Yes. I was waiting for the DigiDestined human I belonged with. That's you, Kari. You're the Eighth DigiDestined. Kari: You were waiting just for me? Gatomon: I've been searching forever and ever for you! (Gatomon hugs Kari) Kari: You could have just called. (Kari looks at Tai) Guess what, Tai! Gatomon's my Digimon; Now I've got one too!
Who is Tai talking to in that first line? The only person he could be addressing is Agumon. Who. Like. Gatomon saved Kari from.
There's something almost comically passive-aggressive in that. "Did you see that, Agumon? Did you see how Gatomon saved Kari from your shot? You know, when you almost shot my sister? Did you see Gatomon save her from it?"
All of this is nice but Taichi still has concerns.
Taichi: Tailmon is Hikari's Digimon!? Wizarmon: That's right. Hikari is the Eighth Chosen Child. Tailmon: And I am her Digimon. I swear to protect her. Taichi: Tailmon, even if all of this is true, who is this guy? Tailmon: Wizarmon. He's my friend. He's also the one who found the Digivice. Taichi: And I'm just supposed to believe that!? Wizarmon: I don't care if you believe it or not. I'm only here with Tailmon.
Wizarmon offers Hikari's Digivice to Taichi.
Wizarmon: Here. You should hold onto the Digivice. Agumon: Why are you giving the Digivice to Taichi? Wizarmon: If Vamdemon finds out that Hikari is the Eighth Chosen Child and Tailmon is her Digimon, both of them will be in danger. As long as it's with you, the both of them should be safe. Taichi: Okay, I'll hang onto this.
Taichi has trouble understanding this, partly due to his reluctance to let it be true that came up when he first explored this possibility. Tai goes as far as to condescend to Kari about it.
Tai: Don't be silly, Kari. That doesn't make sense! Wizardmon: It makes perfect sense, considering she's the Eighth DigiDestined. Gatomon: That's right. And I'm her Digimon. No matter what happens, I'll always protect her. Tai: Well then, why are you a part of Myotismon's army!? And just who is this guy!? Gatomon: He's called Wizardmon. He put himself in great danger to bring you this Digivice. He's my friend. Tai: But how do I know if I can trust him or not!? Wizardmon: Frankly, I don't care if you trust me or not. But I'm going to follow Gatomon as long as she needs me. Here, you take the device. (Wizardmon gives the Digivice to Tai) Agumon: Why give it to Tai? It belongs to Kari. Wizardmon: She can't be seen with it. If Myotismon finds out she's the Eighth Child and Gatomon is her Digimon, then he'll destroy Gatomon and he won't rest until he finds Kari. If you have the Digivice, then their secret will be safe. Tai: Okay, I'll take it! But you better not be double-crossing us.
Wizardmon does a pretty good job of explaining why he's giving the Digivice to Tai. I appreciate that the dub points out that it's Kari's Digivice and comes at Wizardmon's explanation from the angle of why Kari shouldn't have it, rather than why Tai should.
That was the implicit topic of discussion in the original, but here it's explicit, which I think is to the scene's benefit.
Taichi: What are you going to do? Wizarmon: Hikari needs her Crest. The real one. Taichi: Real one?
Tailmon takes off her false Crest, holding it out for Taichi to see.
Tailmon: This is a copy we used to track Hikari's Digivice. Vamdemon has Hikari's real Crest. We have to get it back. Wizarmon: The rest of you can stay here. Taichi: WAIT!!! Where is Vamdemon's base? I'll go with you! Wizarmon: No. It's too dangerous.
Honestly, I'd probably refuse his help too. This calls for subterfuge and Taichi has a poor track record with stealth missions. Bit of a Leroy Jenkins, that boy.
Then again, Tailmon and Wizarmon don't know this but Vamdemon was, like an hour ago, beaten so badly in a fight with WereGarurumon and Angemon that he was forced to flee Shibuya. Now would be a great time to posse up and go jump him in his coffin while he's trying to recuperate. Call around and get the whole team in on this.
But their decision is made. Wizarmon picks up Tailmon and the two fly into the sky, the one direction that Taichi can't follow.
Hikari: TAILMON!!! Agumon: They left. Taichi: (concerned) Will they be okay on their own?
Probably not. Injured or not, Vamdemon's still a Perfect who's been gorging on blood to enhance his power. If this goes south....
In the dub:
Tai: What's next? Wizardmon: Your sister needs her Crest. The real one. Tai: The real one? Gatomon: (showing Crest) This Crest is just a copy that was created to find the Digivice. Myotismon is the only one with access to the real Crest. We've got to get it back. Wizardmon: Leave everything to us. Tai: Wait! Where's Myotismon's hideout? We'll come with you! And we can help you! Wizardmon: No! It's too dangerous! (flies away with Gatomon) Kari: Be careful, Gatomon! Agumon: Can we trust them? Tai: We have to. We have no choice.
Well, shit. They've gone where we can't follow. If only we knew someone with a radar that can detect Digimon in Japan!
Wizarmon takes Tailmon and flies back to Daiba Park, coming in from the east.
Wizarmon: Hikari's real Crest is inside Vamdemon's secret base. He should be hiding it in his room.
I don't know why Wizarmon would draw that conclusion. My assumption would be that Vamdemon keeps the Crest on his person. That's where I'd keep it if I were him.
They descend into the park, where a lone Bakemon is standing guard.
Bakemon: Wait! Vamdemon-sama is out for dinner. No one is allowed to enter until he comes back at dawn. Wizarmon: We're here to switch shifts.
Wizarmon hurls a ball of magical light at Bakemon. It doesn't hurt Bakemon physically, but instead leaves them disoriented.
Bakemon: What... What was I doing...? Wizarmon: You were going to switch with us and go home to sleep, remember? Bakemon: Oh, right. See y-- Wizarmon: Wait! Don't forget to give us the key. Bakemon: Oh. Right. The key. (tosses them a large key) Here. Wizarmon: Thank you! Bakemon: You take care of the rest! (flies away) Wizarmon & Tailmon: Good night!
This is going well. I have a good feeling about this mission. ^_^
In the dub:
Wizardmon: Myotismon has to be keeping Kari's Crest somewhere in the hideout. I think we have to search his room. (Wizardmon and Gatomon descend into Daiba Park) Bakemon: Stop! Myotismon is feeding upon the night. He said no one may enter until he returns at dawn. Wizardmon: Aw, forget about it. As a matter of fact, Thunder Ball. (Wizardmon zaps Bakemon) Bakemon: I can't remember a thing. What were we talking about? Wizardmon: We're relieving you of guard duty. Go home and get some sleep. Bakemon: Oh, yeah. That's right. See ya-- Wizardmon: Hold it! Don't forget to leave us the key. Bakemon: Huh? Oh, the key. Here. (tosses them a large key) Wizardmon: Thank you! Bakemon: What a nice guy. (flies away) Wizardmon: Let's go!
In addition to Thunder Ball still being a named attack in the dub, the main difference here is that Wizardmon doesn't start bullshitting until after he casts his MiB Neuralyzer spell. Which makes sense. No point in bullshitting before erasing the guy's memory.
Also, both sets of Bakemon's deliveries are perfect. The performances are very different. Original Bakemon is playing him for silly wooo~ spooky ghooost while the dub is more of a Jacob Marley type raspy undead specter. But both are delivering these casual-ass workplace colleague lines in their chosen undead voice, and the juxtaposition is hilarious in both cases.
Wizarmon and Tailmon descend into Vamdemon's base. Using the key, they open the door to his room. A giant empty room with only Vamdemon's coffin inside.
Tailmon: Where's the Crest! Wizarmon, we have to hurry! Wizarmon: No need to rush. There's still some time before dawn.
Shot in the dark, maybe try the coffin. The only object in the entire room.
Tailmon and Wizarmon do precisely that, popping open Vamdemon's coffin.
Wizarmon: Could it be... in here?
Reaching under Vamdemon's pillow, Wizarmon pulls out the true Crest.
Wizarmon: Got it! Tailmon: it's the real Crest!
Mission complete! Wow, that was super easy.
In the dub:
Gatomon: Hurry up, Wizardmon. Let's find the Crest and cruise on out of here. This place gives me the creeps. Wizardmon: Relax. We've got plenty of time before the sun comes up. Myotismon won't be back for hours. (They go to the coffin) Wizardmon: Maybe he keeps it in the coffin. (They open the coffin and Wizardmon grabs the Crest) Wizardmon: Got it! Gatomon: Great! Now let's just get out of here.
In a bizarre audio choice, the dub team plays a wood smashing sound effect over Wizardmon sliding the lid off. As if they were breaking open the coffin with axes.
Suddenly, the rustling of bats can be heard entering the lair. There. Uh. There was a need to rush. That's on you, Wizarmon.
Vamdemon: What are you doing in here? (Wizarmon and Tailmon close the coffin quickly, but they're already caught) Wizarmon: Nothing! Vamdemon: Can I help you find something?
Vamdemon holds out his own Crest. Wizarmon looks down at the one he pilfered from Vamdemon's coffin, then tucks it away in his cloak.
Vamdemon: What are you planning to do after stealing the real Crest? Betrayal, is it!?
Vamdemon crushes his own false Crest to punctuate his question.
This is a confusing scene because Vamdemon says, "Can I help you find something?" and shows his Crest, but then a few seconds later he breaks the Crest he's holding. So the one he's showing is a fake, and the one Wizarmon keeps is the real one.
I guess he was showing it to indicate that he knows what they took? But the natural assumption when he delivers that line is that Wizarmon snagged another fake, and it's Vamdemon's Crest that's the real one. So this scene comes off a little janky.
That jankiness carries into the dub, which falls straight into that misunderstanding.
Wizardmon: Uh-oh. Myotismon: What are you doing in here!? Wizardmon: Nothing! Myotismon: If you're looking for something, maybe I can assist you. (holds up Crest) Wizardmon: (looks down at the Crest in his hand) Another copy.... (tucks it away) Myotismon: Do you think I'd just leave the original lying around for thieves like you!?
The jankiness in this scene snowballs into the dub, where Wizardmon and Myotismon say in no uncertain terms that the one Wizardmon snagged is fake. And then Myotismon breaks what I guess is now the real Crest? That's probably bad for us. Didn't think they were so fragile.
Quiet burglary failed so now we move to violent robbery. Wizarmon lunges at Vamdemon. Vamdemon casually sidesteps the lunge, causing Wizarmon to lay himself out on the floor. Uh. Great job, buddy. Good hustle.
Tailmon hurries to Wizarmon's side.
Tailmon: Wizarmon! Wizardmon: I'm okay...
I should hope so! He hasn't even hit you yet! Tailmon turns on Vamdemon with a defiant scowl.
Vamdemon: Those eyes. It's those eyes again. They're like a sword turned in my direction. But did you really think a small thing like you can do anything to me? Did you think I would forgive betrayal!? Wizarmon: I haven't betrayed you. I was only ever on Tailmon's side from the start! Vamdemon: So stupid.... NIGHT RAID!!!
Fun fact: While the common term for "idiot" is baka, Vamdemon is too posh for that. He favors orokamono, a more formal and professional way to call someone a dumbfuck.
The dub plays a goofy-ass cartoon whiffing sound when Wizardmon makes his lunge.
Gatomon: Wizardmon! Wizardmon: I'm alright. (Gatomon glares at Myotismon) Myotismon: Those eyes! From the first time you looked at me with those eyes, I knew you'd turn against me. And that's why I had to teach you by punishing you. I would have hurt you even more but you became a good servant, but I promise you I will not be so easy on you this time! And do you think your betrayal will go unpunished, Wizardmon? Wizardmon: How could I betray you when I was never on your side to begin with!? Myotismon: YOU LITTLE FOOL!!! (long, awkward pause) Myotismon: GRISLY WING!!!
The fact that Wizarmon doesn't have lip flaps is both a blessing and a curse. Like Tentomon, they can give him lines when he's not supposed to have them, but it also makes timing his dialogue tricky.
The scene cuts from Wizarmon delivering his defiant line to Vamdemon with his cloak closed around himself, preparing to fire his Night Raid. Wizarmon's line continues into Vamdemon's shot. Then Vamdemon slowly and quietly delivers his own line before immediately launching Night Raid.
However, not only does Wizarmon not have lip flaps but Vamdemon's covering his own lip flaps here. The dub team couldn't see who's supposed to be talking and when, so the timing gets all screwed up.
Wizardmon finishes his line before the cut, then Myotismon delivers his line as soon as we change shots. Not only that, but Myotismon is louder and faster on his delivery. However, there's still more time reserved for dialogue here. Consequently, there's three straight seconds of weird silence before Myotismon gets to his Grisly Wing.
Vamdemon's Night Raid bats seize Tailmon and Wizarmon, carrying them upwards and smashing through the soil of Daiba Park into the night beyond. They raise the two high into the air, then drop them.
Despite the fact that Wizarmon can fly, Tailmon drops deftly onto her feet from like a hundred feet up while Wizarmon crashes helplessly onto his face. I mean. He couldn't even stick the landing when it was his own jump, so I don't know what I expected.
Come on, man. You were so smooth until the fighting started, but now you're embarrassing me in front of the Dracula.
Tailmon: Hang in there, Wizarmon! Wizarmon: U-Ugh.... Vamdemon: (chuckle) What a beautiful display of friendship. Tailmon: What did you say!? Vamdemon: Since you care so much for each other, I'll let you die together.
Here we go. Tailmon and Wizarmon are about to receive the Pumpmon and Gotsumon treatment.
The dub plays a funny BONK sound effect when Wizardmon lands on his helpless face. They're trying so hard to keep things lighthearted but this arc is so fucking dire.
Gatomon: We really have to stay together! Wizardmon: Ugh.... Myotismon: Uhuhuhahaha! Those who play together, lose together! Gatomon: I'm not afraid! Myotismon: You soon will be, you pathetic little traitor!
"We have to stay together" is a mistranslation of shikkari shiro. Shikkari is an adjective which means tightly, firmly, surely, etc. The addition of shiro at the end turns it into a verb. We have to do tightness, we must do firmness.
In this context, Tailmon says shikkari shiro to Wizarmon to encourage him to shape up, to keep it together, to not fall apart under Vamdemon's assault.
The dub translates it as "We must stay together", which... doesn't really fit the context of the scene. We're under no threat of splitting up. We have not divided up to this point. I don't know why Gatomon thinks this is an important point to make.
Vamdemon's bats swoop back around for another go. Then, suddenly, Wizarmon attacks again.
Firing off his Thunder Cloud, Wizarmon blasts the bats, sending them scattering. He also cracks off a shot at a startled Vamdemon, who blocks it with his cape.
Vamdemon: What!?
It does little damage to Vamdemon and seems only to buy time. However, if you'll notice, the attack is not called Lightning Blast. It's not called Super Shocker. It's called Thunder Cloud.
Vamdemon easily fends off the bolt. But the sky above Daiba Park lights up with booming, thundering clouds, illuminated by recurring flashes of spider lightning. Clouds visible from the Yagami balcony.
Taichi: What is that!? Agumon: Tailmon and Wizarmon are fighting! Hikari: Will they be okay? (huge crackle of spider lightning) Taichi: Agumon, we're joining in. Agumon: Right! (Taichi and Agumon run for the door) Hikari: WAIT!!! I'LL COME TOO!!! Taichi: It's dangerous! You have to stay here!
Much as it sucks, Taichi's right. Vamdemon will be able to deduce what it means pretty quickly if a new kid suddenly shows up looking for Tailmon. Hikari needs to stay as far away from Daiba Park as possible.
So Taichi and Agumon leave while Hikari remains behind, peeking over the balcony as the battle rages in the distance.
The dub seems to have missed the context that Wizarmon summoned the cloud. Wizardmon's attack is called "Magical Game", which... means nothing. Why is Magical Game a bolt of lightning? Did it still summon the cloud? Why did it summon a thundercloud?
Tai: Look there! Up in the sky! Agumon: Wizardmon and Gatomon are in a fight! Kari: Oh no. I hope they're not being hurt. (huge crackle of spider lightning) Tai: WHOA!!! Let's go! Agumon: Right! (Tai and Agumon run for the door) Kari: WAIT UP!!! I WANNA GO TOO!!! Tai: I can't risk you getting hurt! Wait here!
I'm not sure how they know that a big thundercloud means that Wizardmon is fighting. Then again, I'm not sure how they know that in the original either. So points off for Magical Game failing to convey that he summoned the cloud but the rest of the scene is a straight adaptation.
Back in the fight at Daiba Park, the Thunder Cloud has fully joined the fray. It shoots a bolt of lightning down into Vamdemon. He blocks that with his cape as well. Vamdemon continues barking out abuser lines in his domineering voice.
Vamdemon: You know what happens when I get angry!
Tailmon rushes forward and lunges at him. Vamdemon puts her down with a backhand. Wizarmon steps up with another Thunder Cloud, but this time Vamdemon's ready for it. He blocks with his hands, somehow deflecting the shot back into Wizarmon and taking him out with his own lightning bolt.
(Two out of three hits Wizarmon's taken so far have been self-inflicted and the third was because he forgot he could fly. Wizarmon, I love you and you have phenomenal utility powers, but you really are useless as a fighter. It's okay. Not everyone's cut out for combat. You got the signal out to the reinforcements, and that's enough.)
Vamdemon grapples Wizarmon with Bloody Stream, dragging him across the lawn of Daiba Park.
Vamdemon: I'll finish you off first, Wizarmon! Tailmon: STOP!!! If you're going to do that, then do it to me! Vamdemon: Those eyes... They aren't just showing hostility. They shine with the light of hope. The light of faith in your dreams. Tailmon: That's right! I've held on this long because I believe in something! Vamdemon: In mutual trust? Devoted friendship? Such fleeting dreams reveal what a fool you are. There is no place for such dreams in this world! Tailmon: As long as I keep believing, my hopes and dreams live on! To make my dreams a reality, I will defeat you! Vamdemon: What.
Vamdemon is so taken aback by that statement, he drops his levitation and sets himself down on the ground.
Tailmon: If I don't defeat you, then I'll never reclaim my true self! Vamdemon: Reclaim your true self? You can't be-- (realizes) The Eighth Digimon!?
Not only is the cat out of the bag but she's telling Vamdemon the secrets he's not supposed to know. Fucking cats.
Something to note: Vamdemon's speech to Tailmon is poetic but even moreso than it appears in english. More than even Vamdemon realizes. We talked about this before: I need you to remember what the Japanese word for 'light' is. What he's actually saying.
Tailmon's eyes are not merely filled with defiance, but with hikari. They shine with hikari. She draws hope from hikari, draws faith in friendship and a better life from hikari.
This is why Vamdemon could never stand her eyes. Because when he looks in Tailmon's eyes, he sees the thing he fears most. The thing he must destroy. He sees the light. He sees Hikari.
In the dub, Myotismon starts off gloating about the storm.
Myotismon: Well, I hope you realize there's no place to hide during this lightning storm!
They cut the footage of him backhanding Tailmon. When Gatomon lunges for him, they play the footage of Vamdemon blocking the sky bolt backwards to make it look like he conjured another bolt down to deflect her.
Does. Does the dub think Vamdemon conjured the storm? I guess that's fair. He has done that before. He summoned storm clouds back in the Digimon World, and he brought a fog bank with him when he moved in to Daiba Park. Vamdemon has demonstrated the ability to manipulate the weather; It's just that this one isn't his.
But to me, who knows better, it looks like Wizardmon shot Gatomon with a bolt of friendly fire. USELESS-ASS WIZARD!!!
After Myotismon starts dragging Wizardmon with his Crimson Lightning, we get:
Myotismon: I'll do away with you first, Wizardmon! Gatomon: HEY!!! Why don't you pick on somebody 1/10th your size! Myotismon: There are those eyes again. And this time, not only are they filled with rebellion, but I can also see a glimmer of hope. The hope that one day your dreams will come true! Gatomon: That's right! I believe in my dreams and that's how I've made it this far! Myotismon: And just what have you really achieved? You believe in your worthless friends. And you believe that your dreams can come true. Dreams do not exist for the stupid! Gatomon: If you believe in yourself than dreams are real! And to make my dreams come true, I only have to do one thing: DEFEAT YOU!!! Myotismon: What!? (lands) Gatomon: My dream is for me to return to my true identity! The one I had before I met you! Myotismon: What do you mean, "true identity"!? Could it be that-- (realizes) Are you the Eighth Digimon!?
Both versions of this exchange are Bad Guy/Good Guy hopes-and-dreams Disney magic type dialogue. The dub loses something with the hikari piece lost in translation, but that was inevitable.
That said, as far as Disney Magic arguments go, there's something that's fun about Myotismon's line, "Dreams do not exist for the stupid!" That got me. XD
Realizing that Tailmon is the Eighth Digimon, Vamdemon alters course. Tailmon lunges for him, but he smacks her away once more.
Vamdemon: If that's true, then it changes everything. I'll send your beloved friend to Hell first. NIGHT RAID!!!
Vamdemon's bats pick up Wizarmon and drop him into Tokyo Bay. Forgetting he can fly again, Wizarmon flounders in the water and slowly goes under.
Wizarmon: WAAAAAAUUUUGH!!! (splash) Tailmon: WIZARMOOOOON!!! Wizarmon: TAAAAAAAAILMOOOOOON!!! (drowns) Tailmon: (distraught) ...Wizarmon....
What a bizarrely tame way to execute someone.
The dub keeps Vamdemon hitting Tailmon here. So. I don't know what was wrong with the last one.
Myotismon: This changes everything! Before I crush you, I'll give you the pleasure of watching me destroy your wizard friend first! GRISLY WING!!! (Bats pick up Wizardmon) Gatomon: HANG ON!!! (Bats drop Wizardmon in the bay) Wizardmon: WAAAAAAUUUUGH!!! Gatomon: NO, NOT THAT!!! (distraught) Oh no.... Myotismon: Uhuhuhuhahahahaha! Gatomon: T_T My friend....
Though the dub keeps the backhand, they do cut the shot of Wizarmon screaming Tailmon's name and then sinking beneath the water. So I guess that was too graphic.
I don't know why falling in the Bay is supposed to be such an effective killing method for Wizardmon, but apparently Gatomon does. She reacts like Myotismon broke out Wizardmon's established Kryptonite.
This is an odd scene no matter which language it's in. Wizarmon's rolling a lot of Nat 1's tonight. Maybe he should switch dice.
Too late for Wizarmon, a figure emerges from Vamdemon's fog bank.
Taichi: We've come to help, Tailmon! Tailmon: TAICHI!!!
Taichi hopes down from Greymon's shoulder, and Greymon goes to work. He lets off a Mega Flame at Vamdemon, who deflects it as easily as Wizarmon's lightning. The redirected fireball explodes several feet in front of Taichi, who's made the wise decision to go prone so it's harder to aim shots at him.
Vamdemon: I'm honored that you'd come to me voluntarily. BLOODY STREAM!!!
Vamdemon lashes Greymon with his Bloody Stream whips over and over.
In the dub:
Tai: We've come to help you, Gatomon! Gatomon: TAI!!! Tai: (hops down) QUICK, GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!
That extra line at the end is probably fair. Agumon/Greymon already had one friendly fire incident earlier today. He can't be counted on to pick his shots well.
Myotismon: WHEN WILL YOU DIGIDESTINED EVER LEARN!?!? CRIMSON LIGHTNING!!!
While Greymon tanks Vamdemon's whips, Taichi realizes this isn't going to work out and Super-Evolves Greymon.
Taichi: GO, METALGREYMON!!!
Now that MetalGreymon's on his same level, Vamdemon's not so confident. He evades a swipe from MetalGreymon's metal claw and slowly withdraws over the Tokyo Bay, creating distance from his foe.
With limited options, MetalGreymon fires his Giga Destroyer. Anticipating this move, Vamdemon whips the missiles out of the air. Unfortunately, that is all MetalGreymon has in the tank. The Giga Destroyer takes everything he has, and he reverts to Agumon.
Vamdemon: Did you think these childish tricks would work on me? Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha. Taichi: He's tired from all the recent fighting!
As a reminder, Agumon had to Super-Evolve this afternoon to fight DeathMeramon. He may be strong enough now to avoid reverting to Baby afterwards but two Super-Evolutions in the span of like twelve hours is still a tall order.
In the dub:
Tai: GO GET HIM, METALGREYMON!!! (MetalGreymon tries, but Myotismon knocks his Giga Blaster out of the air) Myotismon: You impudent fool! Did you really think you could beat me with those pathetic little toys of yours!? HUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Tai: AGUMON!!!
The dub cuts out Taichi's explanation for why Agumon can't maintain his Perfect form. Dub Agumon drops out of Ultimate because evolutions are inconsistent, I guess.
Alright. This next bit is where things get a little screwy with the dub.
Taichi and Tailmon climb up the hill to Agumon.
Taichi: Hang in there, Agumon! Vamdemon: (levitates over) If a Chosen Child would come all the way out here, that can only mean that Tailmon truly is the Eighth Digimon. Tailmon: What are you talking about!? I'm not the Eighth Digimon! Vamdemon: We'll know for sure soon enough.
Vamdemon's Night Raid bats snatch up Tailmon, lifting her helplessly into the air.
Vamdemon: I will use Tailmon as bait to draw out the Eighth Child. Once I've gathered all of the children together, she'll pick out the correct one for me. Even without the Crest, I can still find the Eighth Child! Taichi: That's not fair, Vamdemon! Vamdemon: See you around.
Vamdemon turns and flies away, carrying Tailmon with him via his bats.
Taichi: WAIT!!! TAILMON!!! Tailmon: TAICHI!!! Vamdemon: Hmhmhmhm Ah Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha.
Well, this went south real fast and in a hurry. Vamdemon's taken away Tailmon to places unknown, while Hikari's Crest has plunged into Tokyo Bay with Wizarmon. Plus side, Vamdemon got so excited about his new plan to find the Eighth Child that he completely forgot to murder that defenseless Chosen Child in front of him.
The final scene of the episode is Hikari looking out over the balcony, afraid for what could be happening at Daiba Park.
Hikari: Tailmon, you're coming back, right? (anguished) Come back...!
Then we cut to a zoomed out shot of Daiba Park at night.
Hikari: TAILMOOOOOOOON!!!
And we end the episode on Hikari's distraught scream.
Okay. So, the dub goes to commercial right after Agumon reverts. Then they come back to this scene, Kari on the balcony.
Kari: Oh, I wonder what's taking them so long? Come back, Gatomon. (Cut to zoomed out shot of Daiba Park) Kari: I couldn't stand it if anything happened to you. But I'm sure Tai and Agumon will take good care of you.
Then, we return to the park for the last part of the confrontation there. With Tai bringing us back into the scene with a hilarious moment of inexplicable jubilation.
Tai: (running up the hill to Agumon) Nice try, buddy!
Really knocked 'em dead out there, Agumon! Myotismon is about to kill us but here, have some orange slices.
Again, this is a translation of shikkari shiro that could work in the right circumstance but is contextually inappropriate for this particular situation.
Myotismon: If the DigiDestined are coming to defend Gatomon, then they really must think she is the Eighth Digimon! Gatomon: Hey, what they think is no business of yours! Go blow smoke somewhere else! Myotismon: You will pay for your impudence! Tai: Just what do you mean!? (Bats grab Gatomon) Myotismon: HUHUHAHAHAHA!!! I hope you like fishing, Gatomon! Because you're going to be the perfect bait to lure out the Eighth DigiDestined Child! Now I don't need the Crest to find that cowardly, puny human. Tai: That's low, Myotismon! Myotismon: I don't play fair! (flies away) Tai: STOP!!! GATOMON!!! Gatomon: TAI!!! HELP ME!!! Myotismon: Muhuhuhahahahaha! Narrator: Will Tai rescue Gatomon before Myotismon finds Kari? Tune in to the next Digimon: Digital Monsters.
A quick note about Tai's "That's not fair!"
The word in question is hikyou. It means sneaky, cheating, underhanded, cruel, cowardly, etc. It can be a hard word to translate, as English doesn't really have a lot of angry insults for "The action you are taking is deceitful!"
We have plenty of words like devious, underhanded, sneaky, etc. but they don't come up in common parlance. You don't shout "That's underhanded of you!" at someone. Spoken English prefers to insult the person instead of their action. You're a cheat. A skinflint. A coward. A scumbag. A bottom-feeding scum-sucking lily-livered toad.
The subs, at least these subs, tend to go with "That's low." That's low, Vamdemon! Which, like translating Onii-chan or Onee-chan as Big Bro and Big Sis, is a fair translation but isn't how people talk in English. I've never heard anyone say "That's low," as a full sentence. I have heard "That's low even for you," but not "That's low," by itself.
I like the solution that the dub came up with here. They went with "unfair". "That's unfair!" is a thing people say. They then had Myotismon clap back at it. LOL, we're at war. Pragmatism is a virtue.
Assessment: A powerful episode from start to about three quarters of the way through, but things get weird once the fight at Daiba Park starts.
Vamdemon inexplicably tosses Wizarmon in the bay so that he's where he needs to be for the next episode, and doesn't even take his Crest back. Vamdemon kidnaps Tailmon but makes no effort to harm Taichi while he has the chance. Wizarmon himself is a cavalcade of fucking up who forgets what his own powers are.
Much of the third act feels like things are just happening because the script says we need to set up the next episode, and not because any of this makes organic sense for the characters.
For its part, the dub is fantastic. Easily one of the better episodes. There's a few missed plot points here and there but it's on-the-rails far more often than not and manages to convey most of what it needs to convey despite extensive cuts to its scenes.
Cuts that are meant primarily to disguise how much abuse Myotismon inflicts on Gatomon. Nonetheless, they still manage to get the idea of that abuse across, even if they can't use most of the footage showing it. I don't think there was a kid who watched this episode and didn't understand that Myotismon beat Gatomon into submission.
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Lesbian Rand AU?
[Send me a potential AU and I'll answer with five things from that story!]
Oh boy, here we go-
A lot depends on the setup. A big part of Rand's character is reckoning with the failures of his past life and the foundation of a lot the interesting ways Jordan interrogates the gender binary is built on the idea that those mistakes are a remix of Paradise Lost/The Fall. LTT is at both at once Eve and Lucifer. Eve in that he acts without the consent or permission of his other half (Latra Posae Decume- the Adam of this version) and runs of on his own in defiance of her will. Lucifier in that in his pride, he believes he can match or surpass the Creator, by attempting to Seal the Bore with only saidin. As a result, paradise is lost- the AoL is destroyed in the breaking by LTT's sin, an entire Age results where all men take the blame to a greater or lesser extent, for the original sin of one man. Of course, Jordan isn't just running with this premise as simple fact- he's interrogating the idea of original sin, salvation, and redemption and raising inherent and complicating questions. Does it make a difference that LTT's intentions where pure and genuine? That he didn't know and couldn't have predicted the consequences of his actions? How does Rand suffering for LTT's do any justice to those who suffered and died in the Breaking? Is chasing the splendor of an Age that could shatter so easily even a worthwhile endeavor, or should the focus be on letting go of the past and building something new? Does that mean forgetting and forgiving and is that fair?
All this to say is that, I think for a Lesbian Rand AU to work the story would probably need a reversed gender dynamic to the one that is present in the books- which I don't know that I could ever write both because it would veer very uncomfortably close to the most misogynistic elements of our own historical societies, and probably have to exceed them in brutality to work (something I'm not very good at, since a lot of my world building energy is usually directed at reshaping and re interpenetrating those historical societies through more queer and equitable lenses), and because a lot of what I connect to in Rand's story has a lot to do with the specifically queer male reading of it. That said if I could or would do that, I think it could also work very effectively as a queer female reading in the same thematic ways.
Rand and male channelers in general in the WoT verse already fulfill a lot of the tropes commonly associated with medieval witches- individuals tainted by an otherworldly power that is poorly understood and inherently transgressive to the gender roles of their society, as well as threat to the established social order (to put it mildly). It's not hard to translate that to a theoretically tainted saidar and the feelings of a resulting broken world onto a theoretical female Dragon. Rand in this context fulfills a pretty familiar role- Joan of Arc, Himiko of Yamatai, Elizabeth Woodvile, etc- savior and hero to some, witch and monster to others.
My brain of course goes to female Mat to be Rand's love interest in this AU- trickster and guile heroine. Mat's specific brand is easy to imagine transcending into a female character in a strict patriarchy, both because Mat's role in the series is already pretty gender transgressive (as befits a trickster shapeshifting archetype), and because it's easy to imagine again that simmering homoerotic temptation Mat and Rand's relationship inherently invokes, but gender flipped: Mat representing a liberation a refusal of the traditional gender roles that Rand can't quite decide if she truly wants or only wants because she was raised to want them. Rand specifically being homosexual rather then my bisexual head canon means that, I would probably air on the side of it being compulsory heterosexuality/heteronormativity- and genuinely wanting the life of adventure and liberty offered by Mat's promises of running away together.
I could also see Min (again as her Gender Weird makes her surprisingly easy to translate into a traditional patriarchy without loosing core elements of her character) as Rand's love interest- again in largely the same role as the series. Someone who Rand could just be....herself around, who couldn't overawed or terrified or brow beaten into seeing a monster, but rather just a person- a woman sacred and overwhelmed and being crushed by the expectations of a savior, and all the fears of being a monster. Conversely I don't know that either Avihenda or Elayne's relationships would still function the same- not without flipping their genders as well which defeats the idea of the premise. A few extra thoughts (since 1 and 2 are basically just big disclaimers)-
While I find the idea of Lesbian Rand having to learn from Short Gay Ball of Anger Uncle Moiraine very funny conceptually (Moiraine is already a pretty strong riff of mentor characters like Obi Wan and Gandfalf, but genderflipped, and I find the idea flipping that back but keeping the more unique aspects of Moiraine's character to be interesting), I also can't help but find the idea of Moiraine as an older, slightly rattled/mad, female wilder Moiraine with the same motivation as in the series just as intriguing as a mentor figure to Lesbian Rand. It would give the entire series a very different vibe, but that's just a natural outcome of the premise as well. I once said Moiraine is a woman who, if she had be born into a patriarchy would have easily been burned as a witch- but the truth is, the idea of Moiraine as a witch to clever to burn, a witch who is surviving the curse of her power, and struggling to see the savior who may yet be able to reverse that curse and save their world...their is an Appeal There.
It's scary conversely, how easy it is to fit the Aes Sedai in general into a gender flipped Randland, and I think speaks to how effectively Jordan wrote them and their institutional flaws. Mired in traditions, secure in their power, comfortable in ordering the world to their will- a mix between the Catholic Church and an order of magi, angry and resistant to reform and change that alters the base of their power, presided over by ancient and yet ageless cabals of entrenched elders. The scene, easily one of my favorites, in the series, in Fal Dara, is almost sickeningly easy to imagine with the genders flipped- a young woman still bright eyed and scarred of what she is and what she is capable of, with three thousand years of tales of women going mad from power, declaring themselves the Dragon falsely in greed and lust for power and leaving the world to suffer for it, walking into a a room with three ancient wizards who tell her that this is her fate, to be this messiah and destroyer both, it hits sharply and exactly the right way.
Again, I don't know that I would do it, and I find what Jordan is doing with gender and sexuality already in the Wot Books inherently more interesting and....less....I don't know sticky? But it's a fun thought exercise.
#WoT#Wheel of time#WoT fanfic#AU Ask Game#WoT Book Spoilers#AMOL Spoilers#Rand al'thor#min farshaw#mat cauthon#cauthor#randmin#moiraine damodred#cw: sexism#cw: misogyny#discussed anyways#I'm a littttttle hesitant to post this one#As I am very much Not A Woman so it's hard for me to speak to this idea/experience#But it was a exercise that got me thinking pretty heavily and helped me articulate some of my complex thoughts#about the way Jordan writes gender#again I don't know that I could ever write as violently a patriarchal world as this au would necessitate#I struggle just to write in the HoTD world sometimes#but again I think it shows the strength of the world Jordan created that a lot of the core store would survive if you flipped the genders#and in some ways it would be...a lot more familiar to us and our sensibilities#which of course is why is why I think it shines the way it's written#anyways enough rambling
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I just got done with my first day of work and it went... Well. It certainly was something.
So I had a 4 hour shift today training on registers. It's scary bc they're the old style with a tiny screen so you can't see what you're doing until the end and if you do something wrong it yells at you. I have a trainer with me pretty much the entire time though so I'm doing okay. She says I'm picking it up pretty quick and doing a great job (validation!) and I've figured out how to keep conversation going with customers so they follow the pin pad prompts and everything.
The first three hours go great. My trainer seems pretty tired tho and between customers she talks about how she's burnt out and wishes she could leave retail bc it's a lot. I share about my previous jobs and we both agree that retail is hard and customers are awful. Then about half an hour before we close a Chinese family (I promise it's relevant) comes in and start looking around. They have a toddler with them that immediately goes to the toys by the register and pulls out all the cars to play with on the floor. Irritating, but not a problem until he starts climbing on the fixture. I try to get the mother's attention without leaving the register unattended bc I'm not supposed to and she ignores me until I'm pretty much yelling "MA'AM YOUR BABY" over and over. Finally she turns around and gets him down, but she shoots me a dirty look as she does so. She then goes back to talking to her mother (I think) in mandarin. Guys, I don't speak mandarin. I didn't know what they're saying, and I don't really care? Until I notice my trainer looking Extremely Nonchalant (tm). You know the look. Turns out, she understands mandarin and the ladies are major gossips. I don't ask for a translation bc there's still other customers and it's my job to ring them up and talk about the rewards program. But they've been standing in the kitchen area for like thirty minutes.
It's now time to close. They ignored the warnings 15 and then 5 minutes out and haven't moved. My trainer meanwhile has started getting extremely antsy. Not only are we supposed to be starting on closing tasks, but the ladies have noticed her looking over and are now talking about her. "That girl with the yardstick keeps looking at us" etc. Apparently. Again, I don't speak mandarin. She sends me away to do a sweep of the store for stuff that's out of place, etc, so I don't know what happens for a bit but my trainer stays up at the front to check out the ladies and let them out whenever they finally decide to leave because the door is locked to prevent other people coming in. She doesn't approach them to ask them to hurry up though. Like, she's ADAMANT that she won't. I, being extremely new, don't know what to do. They don't leave.
Eventually our manager comes down from the cash office and asks them if they're going to buy anything, because we're very much closed for business. It is now 20 minutes after closing, and they've been here almost an hour. They grab one (1) spoon and check out with the manager, which is a massive waste of everyone's time because they don't seem to even want the spoon? But finally they leave and we can take out the trash and do the bathrooms and stuff.
To the surprise of literally nobody, we get out late. Apparently we usually get out at like 7:45. It's 8:15. We're going to have to explain that to the store manager tomorrow. I walk the other non-manager employee to her car bc it's polite, but I noticed that the manager bad the trainer stayed back to talk so i check back in with them. The moment I get within earshot they stop talking and are like "what's up? You were leaving?" I said yeah but you stopped and we usually make sure everyone gets to their cars. I just want to check that everything's okay. They say they're fine and I get the feeling that whatever is going on is Absolutely Not My Business so I start walking back to my apartment.
There's a dead raccoon on the sidewalk on the way home.
#i don't know what this means for tomorrow#but man. what a way to start a job#anyway the rest of the night is going to be acnh and movie soundtracks#i need about 5 hours to chill after all that
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Excuse me while I vomit fantasy AU plans I can literally never commit to because [redacted redacted redacted redacted re]
Living in a world overrun with fantasy creatures, but that's just normal. There's no clear segregation and there's no clear war of discrimination (yet or that we know of) but there just. Are creatures. Everywhere. Support your local centaur blacksmith today.
(No but seriously I am fucking wholistically obsessed with centaurs and if given the chance I will run rampant with them, don't bring them near me I WILL start gnawing on horse person AU plans specifically-)
Modern fantasy??? Like we still have royalty and knights and castles and shit but ALSO it's the 21st century and nobody goes to war anymore this is all just for pagentry because the internet loves aesthetics (and the royal family is usually just a bunch of fame-hungry streamers, let's be honest with ourselves)
Nick. As royalty. Fucking sends me. Fuck you I will have my foolish horny rich prince however I want. He spends all day thinking about how pretty he is, he has no alternative thoughts, except maybe looking at other pretty people and going "I would fuck that" or "I would let that fuck me" etc etc
WORLD OF CARS ROYALTY AU THOUGH????????? LIKE- a royal family made up of helicopters. Castles designed for all manor of vehicles. Shipyards and harbors become commonplace for large gatherings. Fancy clothing translated as detailed liveries. VEHICLE KNIGHTS. WHY ARE WE FUCKING SLEEPING ON THIS IDEA GUYS, WE COULD RULE THE WORLD WITH THIS SHIT
Magic is very fun, imo, and we need more of it. But not like more normal magic, I want like cool weird magic. I want magic rules that haven't been used a hundred million times over. Maybe some people can wander through wormholes. Maybe some people can, idk. Burn bread. I'm rambling but the point is magic
Apollo totally needs to be a naga / snake person in a fantasy AU at all times. He would have some Kaa or Cheshire Cat vibes (let's not connect the dots to that with some of the fics I've written in the past) but also he would just be extremely sassy and fashionable like that.
Help I accidentally made a whole folklore story about two gods that exist and rule (indirectly) over a fantasy realm and now this idea lives in my head rent free and I literally can't get it out. Every time I grab it Nick goes "think again bitch!" and starts skipping around and laughing evilly while evading my every attempt to WordsTM
Funny story I've attempted to tie together a WoC universe fantasy AU THREE TIMES NOW and - again - it lives in my head rent-free and evading authorities. I will smite this bastard, you watch. it's going to happen. I will force it to sit in a chair and exist to spite itself.
Other combo-deal AUs I have slept on if not slightly dabbled with: royalty AU but they're mermaids and shit; royalty AU but they're bird people and shit; royalty AU but it's an excuse to write another sappy Blade/Nick story because fuck you I said so and shit
Windlifter being royalty also but in secret but also we kinda always knew (it's totally canon you guys)
I will not be questioned on this, Cabbie is a goddamn centaur, period. No refunds. He grumpy he sleppy HE TAKE BIG STEPPY. (excuse for the Smokejumpers to ride in a wagon behind him and do The Skyrim BitTM on the regular) Also Dipper because...because.
Dusty gives me "normal guy on the surface, absolutely cursed monster demon spawn entity trying to be silenced" vibes
Maru = Eda the Owl Lady. Fuck your society I will be a witch however I please!!
Hi do you accept pirates because that guy in the grey with the 81 over there, yeah that's a pirate now and he's supposed to be getting his own Our Flag Means Death crossover ONE OF THESE FUCKING DAYS
I don't care what Blade is as long as it's aesthetically pleasing. A king, a prince, a knight in shining armor, an outcast sorcerer, a cursed deity, literally a plot device I DON'T CARE MAKE HIM LOOK SEXY IN ARMOR AND WE'RE GOOD
I think I'm done for now thank you for listening to my rant, these will never be finished unless they are when I stop psyching myself out of doing it because it's always a big project, have a good one
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today ended up being mostly uneventful
dad slept most of the day again although he definitely had some anxiety at one point while i was watching him to let my mom get a nap
he keeps trying to take his oxygen off and we've adjusted it as best as we can so it's comfortable, but he really needs it
he took it off while i was watching him and i thought for a minute there he was going to fight me trying to put it back on because whenever i'd try to put it back on him he wouldn't turn loose to let me do it and i didn't want to have to force him or push his hands away because i'm trying to be as gentle as possible but eventually he let me help him put it back on
unfortunately it was because at that point i think he'd had it off for a few seconds and wasn't able to breathe as well so his anxiety spiked and even when it was back on him he started telling me he needed me to go get air, he needed air so i had to reassure him it was on, i just checked it with my thumb, it's flowing and to just breathe it in
we had to give him some of the medicine for anxiety and that seemed to settle him again but i've noticed we're having to do that more because he's so quick to being stressed out
our family friend was outside mowing the grass and every time he'd go past where my dad could see from the window it'd wake him up and he'd be a little restless before drifting back to sleep again
he didn't really end up eating much today and any time he was awake my mom would offer it
i think at one point he said he'd eat some of a banana but by the time i went and got one for my mom to feed to him he wasn't opening his mouth for her (i try but i don't think he likes for me to feed him; we gave him a teeny tiny piece of chocolate earlier and i tried to give it to him but he just closed his eyes and wouldn't open his mouth even a little but when my mom offered it to him he took it and he seemed to enjoy that)
we've given mostly just a little water today, usually after he takes some medicine but a few times whenever we could when he was awake as well, but not too much because we don't want to hurt him or make him choke
he was talking a lot today, though and it's weird because like...whenever my mom's over there next to him he's good. he just sleeps, will wake up every so often but he's okay, he goes right back to sleep, etc. but i think even just get being a few feet away on the couch where he can't immediately sense her presence it gets him all out of sorts because he becomes so restless and will not stay asleep for longer than a few minutes at a time and will wake up at the slightest provocation
i kept having to get up to lean in real close because you can tell it's hard for him to get words out and he's always been kinda hard to understand (i remember one of my friends i knew since elementary school once told me that they always relied on me to translate what he would say because they could never understand him) so those things combined with him also being pretty groggy means his words were just coming out as mush and my mom and i were doing the best we could to try to make sense of what he was saying but neither of us really could
one thing we did catch, though, and that tells me he's still in there for sure is that my mom said she loved him and he mumbled, "anna said you didn't" which is how he jokes so my mom started laughing and called him a stinker and he smiled
at one point too i think this man may have actually been on his death bed ranting about capitalism because all i could make out was, "charging.....they charge different for different people.......always sending a bill.....everything's a charge" something like that? there's really no telling, i just agreed with whatever he said and reassured him regardless of all of that that everything was good and taken care of and anything that needed to be sorted out would be handled, not to worry
we think he also said something about there being dogs in the house and yeah, we have the one but...no more than that and this was way before our family friend came with his dog, so we were wondering if he might have been seeing the dog we had before this who i know he was very attached to
oh, also at one point today my mom decided to play him some music. she's been using this little portable speaker to play some calming music which does seem to help him sleep better, but during the day she played him some of his favorite classic country and he was smiling at that for a while (we turned it off later because i think he was getting tired of it, but it was nice to just sit and work while listening as johnny cash and willie nelson sang to my dad through the speaker)
that was something he'd do a lot, especially when he had downstairs to himself i could hear it through my door sometimes he'd be on youtube pulling up his favorite songs and blasting them. he'd sing along, too and sometimes change the lyrics to be about our dog as he sang to him
it was like reliving that again which was really nice
oh! and the clothes i got him finally came!
i had gotten him this nice cup that would keep his drinks cold but i don't think he's going to be using it now so that sucks. i really wanted him to have that before we got to here but i was at least able to get him the clothes so that's the big thing
we went ahead and washed them and mom got one of the pairs of pants out from the dryer to change him into and he seemed to really like them so i'm glad
he's still enjoying his mattress topper and a new super soft set of sheets my mom ordered also arrived today so we washed those too and she said when the aide comes tomorrow to bathe him she'll change the sheets so that should be real nice for him
i'm not really sure what i hope for tomorrow other than just as much peace as possible
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So, to get myself started, might as well send some of the stuff I've made, with a few of my own insights. A sort of "director's commentary" type of thing.
Here we have our first image, which is also the banner for this blog.
If you're wondering what it is, either I'm someone who likes too much '60s and '70s rock, or you're just uncultured. It's Abbey Road, if you couldn't tell. (Side fact: there is also a hex colour (#A79F92) named Abbey Road. Doesn't look like the asphalt on the original album cover, though.)
This is also the area where I should probably mention something: I have Splatoon OCs! This image doesn't show all of them, mainly because I wanted accuracy to the original album cover. Some of this builds into lore that I've had floating in my brain for about 3 months now (Oldest OC by creation dates is 1yr 3mo), but that's not especially important.
So, who's who? On the far right, we have Hachi, in the position of John. Behind her is Mendouna, taking up stock in Ringo's position. Trailing behind, without his normal footwear, is my main OC, Kara, who is filling in Paul's position, rather nicely. And finally, guarding the rear, is Jishin, standing in George's position.
Now, aside from their names being Japanese (colour, confidence, troublesome and Eight, going in order of creation), these four are the first OCs I've properly made, and for the most part, they fill canon roles...
Except for Kara. He's the author avatar for this story. Or, more accurately, stories. I have something of the order of... 8 or 9 months' worth of lore, dating back to January 23rd, 2022. Of course, my earliest archive of it goes back to February 26th, 2022, because I accumulated it into what I call "gigaposts". It's just summaries.
Anyway, who fills in what role? We know Kara's the author avatar, but what about everyone else? Jishin is Agent 3, or for everyone who's played Splatoon 3, Captain 3. Mendouna is Agent 4, and Hachi is Agent 8. There's 2 others, but I'll leave them out of the discussion for now. As it stands, there's a) no art of one, and b) no lore of the other.
Important thing to note: I hate the overpowered character idea as much as the people who will probably read this, so I've done it clean and simple, as a rule for myself: no OP characters. Each character can have a talent, but no OP stuff should even look like it's appearing. Bad shit happens when you do OP characters, such as your story getting boring.
Why's that important to note? Because "author avatar" usually translates to "golden child" as I've seen it. Which is why I've done a different angle for Kara. But, obviously, you'd have to read the lore.
Remember above when I mentioned that Kara was the main OC? Yeah, I meant it. I use him for "crossover" arts, mainly, but he is, as it stands, my main OC. This is him being chased by a horde of Giga Monty, and this...
...is him on First World Bank. These 2 arts were made before Splatoon 3's models dropped, just in case you're wondering why there's a sharp decline in quality between the Abbey Road art and these two.
Another important thing to address, in relevance to the above: I use GMod for art. I also can't do art for things that lack GMod-ported models because that's not how GMod works. I have made art to request before, but that's mainly been for friends who also have Splatoon OCs. I also have to choose what map I use. Again, the Steam Workshop for GMod is the final arbiter for what I use. I can't use what doesn't exist.
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I wanted to ask, did you ever see the AidaIro SASUKE tweet?
(Sorry, I am not sure if I can send links in tumblr asks!)
I wish Iro and Aida would do this type of thing more... stuff like hearing how the cast of Hanako would do on a game show is gold!! I need their headcanons NOW.
Anyway, more specifically, I was reading your post about Hanako's smile (and subsequently Amane's unnerving smile) and I was thinking about Amane and remembered this again... Aida and Iro are so damn mean to him, lol. "As usual, amane is useless"... is that really necessary!? (No,yes it is,bully him)
Anyway, I think it's natural to want to bully your characters no matter what, but it makes me think that Amane really IS not as innocent as the fandom seems... it's a bit easier to bully someone who actually deserves it. (And of course I'm just going to point out Tsukasa literally leaving the course entirely, just because I love him and he's great.)
They are so ruthless about Hanako, it's sooo funny!! I have seen this but I love to be reminded (THERE'S TOO MANY TWEETS TO CONSTANTLY CYCLE THROUGH!!) He's their little troublesome guy who is so difficult. I really think western fandom is a bit TOO pitying of him. I LOVE that multiple times they are like, "talk to people!!! FOR ONCE" and, as someone reading this manga, yes, couldn't all conflict be avoided if Amane just explained anything he's thinking ever to anyone. Omfg.
you love how pissy and called out he looks about this..... take your medicine, boy....
feels so cheeky. Ohhhh you don't have any experience..... be a big boy coooome on.
You know what else makes me feel like… this boy isn't… so sacred… is that comic off of the tea party …
oh we can just joke about this Amane, being horny and flustered?? THIS Amane isn't above being depicted as a horny idiot, HE IS NOT SOOO UNBEARABLY SAD HE CAN'T BE HORNY, and this is also our first reveal that Amane has a fetish for the very body part he's constantly mocking Nene for (to me, this is like if you constantly made fun of a girl's fat ass and made her self-conscious of it, but you secretly are an ass guy. Like, it's deplorable of him--!!!! AMANE, AN UNLOVED GIRL WHO NOBODY HAS EVER CRUSHED ON, HAS A COMPLEX, BE NICE!! My first response to this way like, YOU'RE KIDDING ME-- AMANE-- *goes to strangle him* you make fun of her legs defensively because they make you horny??? YOU ARE SO 13)
anyway bullying Hanako is just leveling the playing field isn't it. He bullies everyone else !! AidaIro need to balance out the universe by giving him a hard time firsthand. He's got two angels desperately calling his name and professing their love to him, he can take it, ok. It's also what makes me feel the resolution to all these emotions might be a little humorous in some way. I think it will legitimately be a heartfelt toilet comedy in its own way.
omggg Hanako's VA, Ogata, also once said "Nene has terrible taste in men" … its just, so funny. Everybody call him out.
You know … I will say… sometime I want Bird to help me transcribe/translate a dozen or so of AidaIro's old journal entries and tweets to post in a clump, cuz honestly, Iro …………………………………………… can be kind of a dick to Aida (in a way she clearly is amused by!) so, I kinda think dragging Hanako's fussiness and difficulty and rudeness is a bit.... self-referential, which is why it's so easy to point and laugh at him, and his dramatics? Like man. Iro. Sometimes I'm like, [scandalized] "IRO-SAN….!" I KIND of think Iro really doesn't want to let Hanako get away with anything! I really feel like we're going to peel Hanako apart at the seams and it'll be, in some way, cathartic. An expression of. Something.
OMG also tangent, but Hanako being called useless as always, sometimes I wonder about this vague through line where Hanako is … not as smart as people make him out to be, lol? Like yeah, he'll be useless on this game show … can't beat the Mokke at cards
claims his greatest weakness is a 100pt test
claims his fav class is health/PE
and while it's so common, well, he's bad at writing kanji
… not to put too much stock in it but for some reason he (and his twin...) hold a pencil like a 2 year old. Why?! Lol….
….I'm not so sure Amane ever had it in him to become an astronaut …. it's a little funny a high school teacher is the highest achievement....
#avvy's JSHK#man there's an old journal entry Iro talks about constallations waaay before jshk and it kind of makes me... emo#iro-san... moe....
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first date
✰ characters: kuroo tetsurou, tsukishima kei
not as smooth as you think or as he wants to be either😩 but he definitely tries
might have tried to tame his hair, you know to make a good impression and all but still goes with his iconic hairstyle in the end
though if you squint reeeeeeeallllly hard, like reeeeally REALLY hard, his hair seems a little neater🤭
opens doors for you, orders for you, will definitely NOT let you pay, that kinda thing
a very chill and fun first date because he made sure to plan things very carefully and made note of what makes you comfortable and your dislikes
but you can't tell that it was planned because he makes it seem like it's not
also has a permanent smile on his face for the whole date
not like a big grin or his usual smirk but more of a "wow look at them" kinda smile, get it? a soft smile you could say
homeboy's just a lil giddy that he's finally on a date with you though he won't make that obvious
tries to hide his nerves with teasing and bad science jokes/ pickup lines
"when i'm near you i undergo anaerobic respiration because baby, you take my breath away😉"
pack it up einstein😭✋
if you're nervous as well, he'll definitely notice and will use the same methods to get you to warm up
but if you're more softspoken, he'll have more bad jokes and will try to keep ease up on his teading(it'll still be there though, but more so for his own indulgence because he wants to see you flustered)
and if you're more bold and can match his teasing, he'll amp it up and it'll probably turn into a competition to see who will give in first
also, if the date's a lunch date or a cafe date or just anything that requires paying for something, he pays for it faster than kagehina's quick attack, you won't even have the chance to think of paying
if you insist, the way he asks for the next date will probably be like: "you can pay on our next one😌"
ok so maybe he CAN be smooth but we all know this science nerd is still a dork
and as the date goes on, when you're feeling more comfortable with each other, he might hold your hand or have an arm around your shoulders and all the cute petnames will start coming out
all in all, it's an amazing first date ùwú
maybe you also got a kiss on the forehead at the end and maybe he goes home with his cheeks just a little pinker than normal because he did That
we all know he's just a little teenie tiny bit mean and he knows it but for your first date, he's more careful of his words
the Salt will slip occasionally but not enough to make you feel bad because that's the last thing he wants to happen >:( and he talks to you in an unnoticibly softer tone, a difference so microscopic only ants can hear it and maybe yamaguchi, the usual sharpness gone uwu
the date will most likely be somewhere quiet or has smaller crowds, maybe a small cafe or a vinyl shop or maybe even a museum
maybe not the movies or library because he does want to talk to you, so more like a place where if he runs out of words or doesn't know how to make the conversation flow, the surroundings will give him topics to talk about
but also a place where the silence can be filled when the conversation stops
so if you're a person of few words, it'll be okay if you both take a break from talking and the pauses in your conversation won't be uncomfortable for both of you
and if you're able to talk enough for both of you, the background conversations are soft enough that he can hear you at a comfortable volume
talked to yamaguchi the night before the date to get some ideas
gets teased by yama tho but he sucks it up because he wants the date to be good "urusai yamaguchi"
he's a little awkward but that's ok because even kageyama can notice that our dear tsukki right here is Soft™️ for you
smiles when you're not looking🥺 just a little curl at the end of his lips as he listens to you talk/ watches you walk
you might have to make a few moves first so if you want to hold his hand, you go first and he will gladly hold yours will not admit that he had been thinking of ways to get to hold your hand though and he's happy he finally can
he holds tighter and say some tsundere thing like "i just don't want you to get lost in the crowd" sir there's not even that many people???
it's ok tsukki, you can just say you wanted to hold hands😚
calls you by your name though :')
also pays for you but if you pester him enough he'll let you pay half at least
"aren't you broke? save your money" wow ok damn he didn't have to come for you like that tsukki language translation: i'll pay for us
sends you home and unfortunately does not give you an end-of-date-kiss but does hug you and ruffles your hair/pats your head
makes sure you're in your house safely before heading back home
no one has to know about the new playlist he created for you that night
(o_ _)ノ彡☆ a/n 「EEP I GOT MY FIRST REQUEST THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING🥺💛✨☀️ i really hope it's satisfactory 😞👉👈」
#haikyuu#haikyuu scenario#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu x reader#kuroo tetsurou#kuroo x you#haikyuu kuroo#kuroo fluff#kuroo headcanons#kuroo tetsuro x reader#tsukishima kei#tsukishima scenario#tsukishima x reader#tsukishima fluff#tsukishima imagine#tsukishima headcanons#haikyuu tsukishima#tsukishima hcs#kuroo hcs#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu hcs#kuroo x y/n#tsukishima x y/n#hq scenario hq imagines#hq fluff#hq headcanons#hq hcs
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On kiribaku becoming canon and their evidence:
So I posted this on reddit earlier, but wanted to have it here where more KRBK shippers are, since I just ended up compiling a lot more than I thought I would.
Fair warning: A pretty big text with a compilation of kiribaku moments ahead.
We would all love kiribaku being canon, and I think it's not as much of a longshot as some may lead you to believe.
Honestly, if one of them was a girl, this would most certainly be canon, like, just in the anime we have:
Them becoming friends slowly in the background, leaving us with good development between them that is so seamless it can hit you hard once you notice how close they've become if you hadn't noticed before.
Them arriving and leaving the pool together while walking in the sunset.
They support and compliment each other (both on personality and quirks, like come on).
Kirishima can just lean on Bakugou or side hug him all the time and Bakugou lets him with no problem, which considering who we're talking about is a pretty big thing.
Kirishima can seem even more agitated than Deku about Bakugou being taken, and Deku is the one who idolized him since childhood.
The whole "It has to be you" thing and the precious hand holding (including that little scene after the rescue, where Kiri tries to grab Baku's hand again).
Kirishima bought expensive night vision googles in case they were useful for the rescue even though they had Yaomomo with them (this boy goes through extremes just to ensure his boyfriend's best friend's safety)
Kirishima is officially the one Bakugou considers an equal, and considering his conflicting inferiority and superiority complexes (making him perpetually place people as above him or beneath him) is vital information.
Kirishima is esentially Bakugou's first real friend (as Deku was considered more of an incomprehensible nuisance and his childhood troop seemed more like his followers who just put him up on a pedestal and followed what he did).
Kirishima has jumped in front of danger for Bakugou's sake quite a bit of times (including a time in the movie).
Kirishima is a central piece in Bakugou's character development.
Bakugou was the one who told Kirishima he was strong and gave him his confidence back, reminding him of what he said at the start of their friendship.
Kirishima unlocked fucking UNBREAKABLE because of Bakugou's encouragement.
Going to extra stuff:
Bakugou's favourite hobbie is hiking, and we're shown he takes Kirishima with him sometimes, thing he doesn't seem to do with other characters.
The whole festival thing, with the narrator outright assuming Bakugou must have given his coat to a pretty girl who was cold, only for it to be revealed in another picture that he gave it to Kirishima because as usual, he didn't have a shirt on.
On the movie Bakugou could have taken anyone to I-Island and took Kirishima as his plus one. They share a room. Kirishima bought suits for both of them, with the most detailed one with white roses being for Bakugou, and they decide to go to the party together.
In a BNHA Smash connected directly to the movie, Midoriya notices the white roses in Bakugou's suit and notes that they mean deep respect and "I'm the one for you", which prompts Bakugou to send an explosion his way (not to Kirishima who gave him the suit, mind you), which makes the flowers turn red (from blood), after which Mineta appears to say that red roses mean "beautiful and passionate love".
They are usually seen together in merch stuff.
There's this tumblr post talking about japanese fan's reactions to one of Horikoshi's drawings which I find at least hilarious:
https://exbrodokills.tumblr.com/post/187710597637/here-it-is
There are discussions regarding Kirishima's character sheet and the translation of him liking "tough guys" (here's a podt by aitaikimochi explaining the meaning of the translation: https://www.google.com/amp/s/aitaikimochi.tumblr.com/post/171127708911/amp) where even translator such as aitaikimochi have gotten into, and they have mentioned that there's a japanese stereotype of a type of gay guy who is obsessed with "manly behaviour" and usually stay away from women, prefering tough guys instead, which is interesting to say the least.
Some of the light novel episodes which show more slice of life moment feature some good kiribaku moments, with a prominent one being this one wich details their study date (it seriously seems like fan fiction, not even kidding, and this is supposed to be sort of canon):
https://www.google.com/amp/s/aitaikimochi.tumblr.com/post/171236111166/amp
Also there's a chapter where Kirishima tells Fatgum about Bakugou being extremely happy, and another one where they are arm wrestling between classes and they cheer for one another heavily.
(Honesly, just go through aitaikimochi's whole kiribaku tag, there are some pretty interesting things there)
Here are some analysis on their possible coding, if you guys are interested:
https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1dxO6Y0yK_wxOJDmRsBYvsVWKwsH7tKc92skxJ--R1m4/edit?usp=drivesdk
(Bakugou's one link can be found at the end of that one)
And in BNHA Smash, there are quite a lot of things, and we must not forget that the whole thing still gets approved by Horikoshi before being published, some of my favourite things are:
Kirishima inviting Bakugou to spend christmas together, with the translators noting christmas in Japan to be a romantic holiday in the same panel.
In one issue, Jirou falls for Kiri and him being oblivious just leaves her for Bakugou.
Once Bakugou becomes a shoujo boy after being his with a quirk and just involuntarily talks in flirt, and in one moment Kirishima outright flirts back.
Bakugou works his ass off to repay Kirishima for the night vision googles they used in the rescue.
Kirishima is literally described as the chicken soup for Bakugou's soul!
An interesting thing I found out is that in the chapter where all of 1A minus Bakugou turn into animals, one scene originally had Kirishima (as a dog) getting jealous of Kaminari and Midoriya petting Tsuyu (as a cat - yes I know, a cat) and giving all their attention to her, however, Horikoshi himself changed that scene, noting he didn't think their character relations worked well in that scene, and made it so that the one that ended up in smash contains Kirishima (as a dog) getting jealous because Todoroki (as a koala) has climbed up Bakugou's torso and won't let go. I saw this all in a tumblr post a few months ago, which showed the original scene in a book (I think it was in italian and was translates below) but I can't currently find the link, sorry, if someone finds it, It'd be appreciated if you could reblog with said link.
And in regards to meta stuff, the show already has some LGBT characters in it, with Magne and Tiger being trans and Toga being bisexual, so it's not as much of a lost cause to hope for this as it would initially seem.
(Please kirimina shippers, don't take offence because of this, it isn't my intention to insult your ship, I simply want to analize what has been given to us, so please try to take this lightly):
We should also take into consideration Krishima's first version in the sort of "beta" for the manga (where Midoriya was Yamikumo).
His character sheet mentions he's quite the delinquent and entered UA to impress a girl. Obviously his character evolved tremendously since then, but the girl was most probably intended to be Mina's equivalent. This was later changed to him liking "tough guys"/"hard liners" and his thing with Mina became more of an "I admired your bravery and heroic spirit when in middle school even if I hardly knew you", later seeing each other and establishing more of a little friendship. However, it hasn't really moved further from there, and Kirishima has already established much stronger bonds with our favourite exploding boy. All changes in characters are made for a reason, and Horikoshi clearly changed his mind on Kirishima's motives for wanting to be a hero and his relationship with Mina.
So yeah, all in all, this ship is great, it's precious, adorable, helps both characters grow, is balanced and has good chemistry. So even if after all these things they don't become officially canon, we still have so much canon material for them in the present I'd honestly still be happy, these dorks make me smile and melt my heart, so I hope they both have good endings.
#bnha#boku no hero academia#mha#my hero academia#kiribaku#bakugou x kirishima#bnha kirishima#bnha bakugou#katsuki bakugou#kirishima eijirou#ship#otp#krbk#bakugou katsuki#eijirou kirishima#analysis#canon moments#i just love them both#love them so much#best boys
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Lost in Rome
hello, friends! Ever since "La Vita Dolce," I've wanted to write something else involving Italy and at least one Italian phrase, and so this lil story was born! Hope you all enjoy!
Ship: Tom Holland x Reader
Word Count: 1488
Warnings: mentions of drinking, vv slight language
★
You had been walking around Rome for what felt like an eternity.
(It had only been like 30 minutes)
You knew the bar was right near Piazza Navona, but you'd only been to that part of the city one other time, having been staying south on the other side of the river in Trastevere.
You felt embarrassed knowing you were dragging your friends around the city without much of a guide, but you were too stubborn to admit that you were actually lost.
"Maybe we should've gone to Bar San Calisto again. It was cheap and close but noooo. I just had to look up a 'best bars in Rome' list" you thought as you continued to trudge on.
Not only were you lost, but you also didn't have the ability to look up where you were going, since you'd decided to go cheap and not buy an international plan or a vpn, choosing to only using wifi so you'd "stay in the moment."
That moment seemed stupid now that every marble wall and cobblestone street started to meld together in your brain as it continued to darken.
A trip to Rome was something you'd been wanting to do for years, so when your university offered up the chance to go study abroad for 4 weeks, you immediately began scrounging up the funds to go, even scoring a scholarship based on the fact that you'd taken Italian classes in school.
You'd only been there a week but thankfully had bonded with your roommate before even going, having struck up a conversation at the informational meeting the semester before. Since then, you had also bonded with those in the room next door, them sticking to you as their translator.
Finally, you couldn't take it anymore, stopping.
"Okay, look, guys. I'm really sorry but I literally have no idea where we are," you admitted, feeling guilty. Everyone else smiled.
"That's okay! This place is beautiful! I'm sure we'll find it eventually," your roommate, Olivia, said.
"Yeah. Didn't you say it was at Piazza Navona?" Aaron, one of your neighbors, asked. You nodded. "Well as long as we can find that, then we're basically there!"
After some wandering, your group found itself in the square in front of the Pantheon, which was a step in the right direction, but you were determined to actually find the right place.
There was a hotel right there, so you quickly stepped in to ask the desk worker to point you towards the Piazza, who explained that it was only a couple streets East of where you were.
Relieved, you and your friends quickly walked that way, breathing out a collective sigh when you walked into the giant open square, looking around at the familiar structures from the second day of class when you'd toured the area.
"Sooo... where's this bar?" Aaron's roommate Joseph asked.
You all circled the square from the inside and out a couple times, not seeing any signs with the name "Bar del Fico Roma" anywhere.
Dread started to wash over you as you realized the website must not have meant the bar was actually on the square, but was somewhere nearby. You felt stupid for not screenshotting the website page or, you know, actually looking it up first.
"Fine, that's it! I'm marching up to the next person I see and asking where this darn place is. We've made it this far!" you said, exasperated.
The first thing that caught your eye was a group of people who looked close to your age, talking in a small group. They were pretty well dressed, typical of a young Italian, so you immediately started over towards them, expecting them to be the most helpful in giving directions.
"Wait, y/n!" Olivia protested, but you ignored her, walking between a shorter boy and taller girl.
You couldn't help but sigh out the words as you started speaking, placing a light hand on the boy's arm.
“Scusa, potresti dirme dov’è la-" "Excuse me, could you tell me where the-"
"Sorry! I don't speak Italian!" the boy answered in a British accent, turning to face you with hands in surrender.
You both seemed taken aback when your eyes met.
Tom Holland?
"Um, oh what was the word for sorry in Italian again?" the actor in front of you asked, looking to one of his many Spider-man costars around you. Before one could answer, you blurted out one for him.
"It's 'mi dispiace' or 'perdonami,' depending on how you want to say it," you started, realizing how stupid you probably sounded to be teaching a world famous actor Italian words after accidentally infiltrating his conversation.
However, Tom was more shocked by your American accent. Your eyes still widened as you realized what was actually going on.
"Oh my gosh, what am I saying, um. I- I'm so sorry. We're just trying to find this bar and got lost and-"
"Which bar?" he asked in return. You furrowed your brows and looked at him funny, wondering why he would care. He seemed to take notice. "It's just that, we're also headed to a bar and can't seem to find it, either."
You chuckled at the situation, baffled.
"Well, um, it's called 'Bar del Fico Roma.'"
Tom's eyes widened.
"Hey, that's where we're headed!" Jacob Batalon cut in, making you look at him and the rest of the actors in surprise. You could see your own friends shock from your peripheral.
"No way! Really?" Joseph said for you. The group nodded.
"I just got it pulled up on maps," Zendaya said, holding up her phone. Realization suddenly hit that she of all people was the one who you had been standing next to this whole time.
You and your friends all gasped incredulously, amazed at your luck after spending all that time lost.
"If you want, we can show you the way," Tom offered.
"What? No, no we couldn't impose like that," you began, knowing your friends were probably internally screaming at you.
"Oh come on," Tom responded. "We're all going to the same place anyways, not like we won't see you there. It's barely a five minute's walk."
"Seriously, y/n. Do you really want to go around asking more locals for help when we've got it right here?" Olivia asked, raising a good point.
"Alright, fine," you started, rolling your eyes. You turned back to Tom. "You know what they say, 'when in Rome.' Seriously, thank you. All of you. You're definitely saving our asses."
He chuckled as Zendaya began leading the way. Though the sun had set, lights throughout the roads and emanating from various shops lit the way.
Without meaning to, you fell into step with Tom, easily matching his gait as you crossed through the bustling piazza.
"So what brings you to Italy?" He asked. "You don't quite sound like a local."
"We're studying abroad through our university. Unfortunately for me, these goons keep following me 'cause I speak the language," you joked, causing Olivia to slap the back of her hand to your shoulder.
"Ah, I see. I was definitely confused when you went from Italian to American in an instant. Y/n, was it?"
"Yes! Yeah, that's me. And you're obviously Tom Holland."
"You better remember that later, he tends to forget his own name after a few drinks," Zendaya called back to you, causing the group to laugh.
"Hey! That was one time!" Tom defended himself. "Not my fault I was going through a breakup!"
He turned back to you.
"Don't listen to them. I'm quite fun to drink with. You should see for yourself."
"Is that some sort of offer..?" you questioned playfully, tucking your hair behind your ear.
"If everyone's alright with it, I figured you all would join us at the lounge. I'm more than happy to pay for a round or two," he winked.
The group was approaching the bar, and any anxiety you'd had about finding it finally quelled when you could see people outside laughing and drinking as they enjoyed the summer night.
"Hmm... I don't know..." you sing-songed, looking up at the sky.
"Dude are you crazy?" Aaron exclaimed, causing the others to argue in agreement with him.
"Okay, okay. Of course we would be happy to join you for a drink. Thank you."
Both groups cheered in approval.
"The only thing I ask in return is a little lesson in Italian and, if all goes well, a pretty lady's number at the end of the night," he said smoothly, giving you a look.
The others looked between you with wide eyes, surprised at his open flirting. You couldn't help but smile and blush before replying.
"I think that's something I can manage. Now come on, your first lesson will be in ordering drinks," you said, grabbing his hand to lead him in what was about to be the best night of his life.
And yours.
★
A/N: Okay fun fact I thought up this concept immediately after publishing La Vita Dolce and just... never wrote it? The entire work was actually written around the one Italian phrase I used haha.
Anyways... Hope you all enjoyed as per usual and feel free to hmu anytime about anything :)
Send a message or ask if you’d like to be added to my permanent or series taglists so I can verify you’ve been added!
@jackiehollanderr, @one-big-fangirl, @agentnataliahofferson, @spider-babe, @justafangirlduh
#lost in rome#tom holland#tom holland fanfiction#tom holland fic#tom holland one shot#tom holland x reader#tom holland x you#tom holland x y/n#tom holland imagine#tom holland drabble#tom holland spiderman
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— 𝐚 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐠𝐟 + 𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐨!𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐨
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞; i don't rlly understand why everyone says sero is latino but like ?????who am i to complain. and since i am latina, more exactly chilean, someone who has lived her whole life in latinoamérica, this is self inserted 🤡 though if we're gonna talk bout latinas/os characters there may be someone canonically latina/o :p
-> LOUD COUPLE.
-> everyone in class a gets a headache with both of you.
-> even bakugou, just please shut the fuck up.
-> y'all are from different countries, but the energy it's the same.
-> endless teasing denki and kirishima by speaking in spanish so they can't understand.
-> "hey, sero, vamos a comprar algo para comer sin que ellos sepan" (this is so hard for me to write bc chilean slang is SO DIFFERENT)
-> denki would be like "sHE SAID COMER WHAT ARE YOU COMER"
-> cleaning days are always with music in spanish, like luis miguel or pimpinela.
-> sero just gives argentino vibes im sorry.
-> in every latino household we clean to what our mamás or abuelitas used to listen to.
-> you would duet pimpinela's songs and everyone would look like ?????why are they so passionate about.
-> bakugou i know he speaks spanish tries to translate but is also confused.
-> "i'm sure the song is about cheating fUCKING SLOW DOWN IT'S TOO FAST"
-> sero would totally be the type to read love poems in spanish to you, like from gabriela mistral, for example.
-> not from pablo neruda we don't support abusers.
-> "yo te enseñe a besar: los besos fríos
son de impasible corazón de roca,
yo te enseñé a besar con besos míos
inventados por mí, para tu boca."
-> it translates to "i taught you how to kiss: cold kisses; are from impassive heart made of stone; i taught you how to kiss with my kisses; invented by me, to your mouth." (besos/kisses, by gabriela mistral).
-> his extra ass totally does it in front of everyone bc he spent the whole night memorizing it and wants to show off.
-> everyone, not understanding a word: 🥺
-> you would kiss him, because he's too sweet, and mina would combust in cuteness.
-> "bro i don't know what you said but it was so manly bro"
-> i personally think spanish is a very romantic language, therefore, every romantic thing sero says is in spanish.
-> "quiero pasar mi vida contigo"/"i want to spend my life with you"
-> you would make him traditional breakfast from his country, he gets homesick a lot.
-> YOU DANCE BACHATA TOGETHER IN HIS ROOM.
-> it doesn't matter if you don't know how to, he'll teach you.
-> when he gets stressed, which isn't very common in him, he starts speaking spanish really fast throwing insults every two words, hell, sometimes even you get 🤨
-> "PERO QUÉ ESTÁN HACIENDO MANGA DE PELOTUDOS" yes im sticking to argentino! sero.
-> "he says what the fuck are you doing, you bunch of idiots" you usually translate.
-> that only happens when he's under a lot of pressure and bakusquad isn't helping.
-> his mom sends you food whenever he goes home, she l o v e s you.
-> sero likes that you two get along but... don't forget you have to like him more than you like his mami.
-> calls you mi amor, or mi vida.
-> in time, mina got used to call you mi amor too.
-> now, all your friends call each other like that.
-> they know is something cheesy but not exactly so(??
-> HE HAS ONE PET NAME THAT'S FOR YOU AND ONLY YOU.
-> reina, "queen" call me like that and istg
-> uses it when he's watching you, so hypes you up.
-> "just look at her, she's a reina, una diosa, my god"
-> you so watch telenovelas in the common area, he gets upset and screams to the tv.
-> "you had to choose JUAN ANTONIO, dios mío, my mami would've beat your ass"
-> he's the one who has control over the bakusquad, he has been gifted with the mamá latina's quirk too.
-> ONE TIME he went after denki for being too clingy with jirou, making her uncomfortable.
-> since then, everyone acts like bakugou is in charge but they know it's sero.
-> hugs and kisses and cuddles and all the pda you can think of.
-> yes, please do.
-> a big softie.
#bnha x reader#bnha x y/n#mha x reader#sero headcanons#bnha sero#mha sero#sero x reader#sero hanta#sero hanta x reader#sero x y/n#sero x you#latino sero#sero latino#sero fluff#hanta sero#bnha fluff#mha fluff#bnha headcanons#mha headcanons#bakusquad#bakusquad headcanons
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FIRST IMPRESSIONS // MIMI'S FAVES
amihan's note: this is just self-indulge i can't get enough of them 😭 i got this random idea wherein i showed my mom + friends the following pictures of my faves and what are their first impressions. i may also include some first meeting w/ my mom scenarios and more of what i think they will interpret them as. modern au of course, happy reading!
lil side note: my friend questioned me after sending all these pics, she was like "mimi u do realize these r lines" but ma'am u don't understand they r attractive lines!
info; aunt is what u call ur close friend's mother. mano is a sign of respect/greeting to elderly wherein you take their hand and bring it to your forehead i honestly don't know how to explain it
✨ jjk masterlist ✨
self insert, it's mimi x her faves!
-gojo satoru
mom said he reminds her of someone from slam dunk because of the art style, kinda brings back memories for her
most likely to be part of a cult
++ will invite u to join (i swear my friends r something)
yandere vibes
as i quote from my friend "cross my fingers, hope to die"
he will get along with my group of friends i swear
ngl, i'm 100% sure that gojo flirted with one of my friend before
gojo and mimi are gonna meet her group of friends for the first time, "shit" he curses under his breath, mimi turns her head to him and slightly tilted her head to the side "what?" gojo takes a deep breath before saying it in one breath "i may or may not have flirted with one of your friends before"
mimi was about to ask him to repeat again when she heard her friend "satoru?!" gojo gave a sheepish smile "heyyyy" he slowly distances himself with mimi afraid of her "oh let me guess, you're one of the victims?" mimi excitedly pipes in while laughing, her friend laughs along with her while shrugging "you think im surprised anymore you hoe?" mimi teased patting gojo's arm
he's the type to join in on our pamper night, i just see it clearly. also my mom tolerating his childishness
mimi and her mom are having one of their pamper night after having a long week, mimi was applying the mask on her face carefully while humming a tune. gojo who just got in their house saw the bond between the two "auntieee~ i want one too!" he whined while pointing at the masks.
"come here sato" mimi's mom coos at him, clearly babying the man. mimi crosses her arms finished with her mask looking at her so-called man with a smile adoring her lips "you know i wonder sometimes if i got myself a man or a child" gojo let out a dramatic gasp "auntie she's bullying me" mimi's mom played along and playfully glare at her, mimi giggles at this "also shut up you love me~" gojo added.
-okkotsu yuta
that guy who laughs at uncertain situations (if u only know what he's really like ✋)
class clown
softboi (yes he is ma'am!)
happy go lucky
lowkey yandere vibes
i feel like my friends already loves him because they were the one who introduced him
mimi and her friends are hanging out at their usual bench chatting away until one of them noticed the small group of guys passing by. "hey!" one of her friend shouted waving her hand before gesturing for them to come over.
they soon arrived where mimi and her friends are, a young boy with a sweet smile caught mimi's eyes. she gulps looking back to her friend who's introducing the group, "and he's yuta" she finishes with her arm around yuta her other hand giving his chest little pats. mimi nod to herself trying not to forget his name.
definitely met my mom before, helping her with her grocery or something. mom took a liking of him because he's kind and polite
yuta knocks on the door nervously chewing his bottom lip, mimi opened the door and smiles at him, the raven head returning it with shaky breath "come in" yuta politely comes in and to his surprise saw a familiar face "oh you're that sweet boy" mimi's mom exclaimed softly smiling as yuta gave his greeting taking her hand bringing it towards his forehead.
"you met before?" mimi chimes in looking at the two "i helped her carry her things since she's having some trouble" yuta explained his nervousness slowly fading away, mimi's mother turns to her daughter "i love him already! you're definitely marrying him" mimi's mother then welcomes yuta to their home with open arms "mom!" mimi shouted in embarrassment. yuta lets out a chuckle, relieved that he was welcomed right away.
-fushiguro megumi
cold type
major daddy vibes (all i can say is megumi's their type-)
cool aura
doesn't give a fuck type of guy
my friends probably heard of him because of me
mimi was walking around the campus together with a friend of hers, they were talking about usual school stuffs. sharing all the stress and pressure they're feeling having to be the leader of their own respective group.
mimi came to a stop when she noticed the quiet preserve guy who's walking towards the elevator hands on his pocket. after pushing the button, he cracks his neck side to side his hand soothing the crook of his neck. "let's go use the elevator" was all she said before dragging her friend.
the three walks inside the elevator without a word, mimi and her friend stayed behind as megumi stands in front of them pushing the button of his classroom's floor. mimi's friend can't help but snicker, mimi pinches her side telling her to stop.
megumi turns and gesture at the floor buttons "which floor?" his low voice making mimi's knees weak in the knees, mimi's friend was having fun seeing her friend malfunction in front of a hot guy. she giggles not wanting to embarrass her more than she did "oh we're in the same floor, it's all good"
mom likes him when i showed his pic! *cough* one of her fave *cough*
got nervous with meeting mom for the first time but soon relaxed with mom's calming and friendly nature, all in all mom still likes him
-inumaki toge
crazy type of guy
gives off the always sleeping guy
playful type
"oh wow its hot in here" seductively lowers his collars
daddy- (i- ma'am-)
bad boy!!
serious
mom said rock 'n roll but let's forget that
i'm gonna be honest, i feel like he's gonna be part of my friends, my "kapag tropa lang tropa lang rule" (basically translates to: if u're friend just stay as friends rule) will be broken just for him;
toge and mimi was known to be touchy with each other in their group of friends. toge trusts mimi more than the others, he shows this by doing simple things such as leaving his id with her if ever he goes somewhere or do something.
their friends mostly find them leaning in each other's shoulder whenever they are given a break or during their little talks. "you know i saw this new.." their friend started explaining, all of them listening. toge gets into a more comfortable spot leaning his head on mimi's shoulder busy with scrolling on his phone. once in a while showing mimi something funny or interesting.
mom will likely take time to warm up to him. toge will do his best to get on her good side, shows his charms. once he gets mom's approval there's no turning back. he gets treated like he was her own son.
toge smiles at mimi's mother sweetly, "what's your name?" as toge took her hand making mano with her (stop i dunno how to phrase it) "inumaki toge, auntie" mimi's mother let out a soft gasp, "the inumaki toge?" toge looks at the direction where mimi disappeared, a little confused by what's happening. he looks back at mimi's mother about to ask why she knows him.
"mimi won't stop talking about you!" mimi's mother informed as toge's mouth left agape, mimi who happen to get back at the right moment grumble "mom why did you tell him?!" she said through gritted teeth. mimi's mom have a sweet smile on her face faking a surprise.
"oh i wasn't suppose to? oops?" mimi grumbles more standing beside toge who now have a smug look on his face, "you talk about me huh?" he began, mimi gave him a playful shove "shut up."
-ryomen sukuna
DADDY!!
most likely to kill me
intimidating
unique looking
mom really likes him!
thinks his tattoos and aura is cool
if my friends saw a picture of him they will immediately question me
he's a snitch, i hate his snitch ass ugh
mimi's mom did not like sukuna from the picture at all, she doesn't have any problem with people who have tattoo but he got it all over him. we can say that mimi's mom is kinda looking out for the both of them because their relatives are just too traditional and doesn't like the looks of tattoos.
however, sukuna soon got her approval! how you ask? well the mf snitched without knowing. sukuna nudges mimi's side lightly, trying to start conversation "how's the piercing?" mimi's eyes widen looking at sukuna hissing, "kuna no!" mimi whisper yell at him. mimi then felt her mother's glare, "is that why you've been wearing your hair down often?"
sukuna got confused then looks at mimi's mom "care to explain?" he took this as a chance to get on her good side "yeah mimi, care to explain?" mimi looks at her significant other not believing what's happening, mimi looks back and forth between the two 'this mf a snitch' mimi thought.
mimi then explained herself blaming sukuna since he's the one who pushed to get her cartilage piercing "don't blame sukuna, you should have told me" mom defended him, mimi gasp as she looks at sukuna who's smirking at her with the 'i won' face that mimi wanna punch off his face.
a lil bg; i already told my mom b4 that i want cartilage piercing but then she got wary with the news of someone got in a coma after getting it so in the end sadly, she only allowed me to get the lobe piercings.
cover: one piece's baby 5
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jujutsu kaisen headcanon#gojo satoru#okkotsu yuta#inumaki to/ge#fushiguro megumi#ryomen sukuna#jjk gojo#jjk inumaki#jjk yuta#jjk sukuna#jjk fushiguro#mimi x jjk
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I found out that there is a name for struggling with emotions and hilariously it's making me feel an emotion that I can't identify. But I finally, FINALLY have a word and explanation and it is so GOOD. Alexythymia. Anyways, I bring it up because I'm especially curious if you think any cybertronians may have this? My first thought was honestly Megatron. XD - Optical Admirer (P.S. I'll send a second with what it is in case you don't have time/energy to look it up.)
So to explain alexythymia, I gotta explain how emotions happen. The body has a physical reaction to something and the brain translates that + the situation to an emotion. Alexythymia means either the body doesn't produce those signs in the body, or the brain can't interpret the signs. A fast beating heart could mean many things, arousal, fear, anger. Most people would know while staring at something scary that it's not because they're horny. People with alexythymia aren't sure... - OA 1/5
... what they're feeling. They may not even recognize there IS something to feel. This isn't psychopathy btw, people with alexythymia could have an angry face, gesture wildly, and be yelling... and not know they're angry. They can feel emotions, but the body may not show them well or their brain seriously can't identify even the clearest of signs in themself what the emotion is. They can also label emotions incorrectly. For me, I have two that emotions often get shunted to. - OA 2/5
Amusement and Frustration. If I feel a lighter emotion, a 'happier' one I guess, I usually just call it 'amused'. If it's heavier and 'sharp', I call it 'frustrated'. Those are the two I often use because they're what I often translate from my body. Most of the time, there is nothing for me. I do have other emotions, but I'm trying to keep it a tad simple. This may or may not be the norm (shifting emotions), but I read of at least another person doing it, but with anger and fear. - OA 3/5
This means people with alexythymia do also struggle with empathy too. If we can't really identify our own emotions, it's hard to identify emotions in others. Not impossible, for absolutely sure. It's often a struggle though, especially in similar looking emotions. It does lead to interpersonal problems, but can be overcome with time. We just have to manually learn how each emotion looks on a person in particular, and how to react to that emotion. Which leads me to the last part! - OA 4/5
We often end up memorizing 'procedures' for how to react to situations. Our emotions can't comprehendingly or quickly lead us through situations that require such. So we memorize what other people do and how they react. Honestly, this does lead to problems where everything feels fake, because a good chunk.... kind of is? We do care about people though, we just may not have the words. With training and therapy, recognizing emotions can get better, but will always be a struggle. - OA 5/5
Thanks so much for this information, Optical Admirer! I’ve never heard of anything like this but it sounds so interesting! One of my favorite gen ed courses in college was physiological psychology because the way people function and percieve is so complex. It’s fascinating!
This sort of disorder sounds very nuanced and interconnected with other atypical psychologies but I can’t help = but wonder what sort of physical component might contribute to this. A deficiency somewhere? A difficulty transferring information between hemispheres? I did look this up lol, but it’s new and largely related to cognition so there doesn’t seem to be much certainty, unfortunately.
I don’t need to tell you any of this of course, I’m sure you’ve heard it all before. Thank you for sharing your experience and I hope your alexythymia doesn’t cause you too much trouble in your day-to-day life.
If you don’t mind my saying so, you sound very well put together and from my perspective, empathetic and compassionate. I’m so glad you have access to resources such as therapy and that they appear to be effective. I have a relative with very mild autism that mostly affects his emotional maturity and empathy so while I can’t speak to this sort of challenge myself, I can say that I have seen and appreciate the conscious effort that goes into being social and connecting with others.
If you would like to share any other experiences (in anon or privately) I’m always here!
As for how this psychology might be applied to the transformers...
You have more authority on the subject so let me know if you disagree with any of this!
Honestly, a lot of Decepticons could be safely considered alexythymiac. In my au, a majority have tweaked with their own programming for streamlining specialties and gaining an edge in combat against the Autobots and their social protocols were the first to go. Lack of empathy and social awareness run rampant in their ranks.
Frenzy doesn’t bother addressing any of his issues, he’s not sure how he feels and he interacts haphazardly with basically everyone to the point of gaining a reputation for being spastic and temperamental. He’s not, but he doesn’t bother correcting that perception, he doesn’t care for anyone outside his handler. So long as he can infiltrate and communicate the information he recovers, he can validate himself.
Seekers largely dodged this trend because their social intricacies are their edge and quick, long-lasting bonds are what make them terrors in flight formations. But bots like Megatron now have difficulty handling nuanced emotion or reading it in others. They aren’t emotionless by any stretch and are fully capable of social bonds, it’s just more difficult to take on and maintain.
Megatron especially filters most of his emotions through rage and pleasure. This may have once been habit in his grandstanding to appear without weakness, but now it’s a reality. It’s not that he doesn’t feel anything else, but it’s easier to attribute whatever that emotion is to either camp and actualize from there.
Optimus could be considered the poster child for alexythymia as Wikipedia has led me to understand it. Just like those with the condition, he is caring and aware of his perceptions. And while he is very good at managing himself and his own emotions, he has a great deal of difficulty with direct, physical empathy in real-time. It’s hard for him to anticipate how someone dissimilar from him might feel, like he’s honed his self-perception so finely that now he’s only an expert on the exclusive psychology of Optimus Prime.
Bumblebee is bad at interacting with Harry, for example, because he’s never been around a child and has a poor understanding of them. Optimus has been around countless children, but because they’re so removed from how he thinks and behaves he can’t easily identify their emotions or extrapolate on why they feel the way they do. Just like those with alexythymia, he needs to consciously establish every emotion on an individual and study their inner workings to connect with that individual.
All of them can, have, and will, establish strong connections, it’s only their rate of success and necessary deliberation that is different from other, more social bots.
What do you think? Did I miss one? Did you disagree with any of these? Let me know why!
#optical admirer#Anon ask#sd speaks#transfomers#perfectly alien#perfectly alien au#alexythymia#optimus prime#megatron#frenzy
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Act 1, I Can't be Your Hero, Baby.
Karla Cornejo Villavicencio
When I was a senior in college, I wrote an anonymous essay for The Daily Beast about what they wanted to call my dirty little secret, that I was undocumented. This was in 2011, before DACA, and I was one of the first undocumented students to graduate Harvard. The essay got me some attention, and agents wrote me asking if I wanted to write a memoir.
I was angry. A memoir? I was 21. I wasn't fucking Barbra Streisand. I had been writing professionally since I was 15 but only about music. I wanted to be the guy in High Fidelity. And I didn't want my first book to be a rueful tale about being a sickly Victorian orphan with tuberculosis who didn't have a social security number, which is what the agents all wanted.
The guy who eventually ended up becoming my agent respected that, did not find an interchangeable immigrant to publish a sad book, read everything I would write over the next seven years, and we kept in touch. I was the first person who wrote him on the morning of November 9th, 2016.
That morning, I received a bunch of emails from people who are really freaked out about Trump winning. And the emails, essentially, were offers to hide me in their second houses in Vermont or stay in their basements. Shit, I told my partner, they're trying to Anne Frank me.
By this point, I had read lots of books about migrants. I hated a good number of these books. I couldn't see my family in them, because I saw my parents as more than laborers, as more than sufferers or dreamers. I thought I could write something better, and I thought I was the best person to do it. I was just crazy enough. Because if you're going to write about undocumented immigrants in America, tell the story, the full story, you have to be a little bit crazy. And you certainly can't be enamored by America, not still. That disqualifies you.
I did not want to write anything inspirational. I wanted to write for everybody who wants to step away from the buzzwords in immigration-- the talking heads, the Dreamers in graduation caps and gowns-- and read about the people underground, not heroes, randoms, people. I wanted to write about my parents, and that's the story I'm going to tell here, the story of my parents.
If you ask my mother where she's from, she's 100% going to say, she's from the kingdom of god, because she does not like to say that she's from Ecuador, Ecuador being one of the few South American countries that has not especially outdone itself on the international stage. Magical realism basically skipped over it. And our military dictatorship never reached the mythical status of a Pinochet or a Videla. Plus, there are no world famous Ecuadorians to speak of other than the fool who housed Julian Assange at the embassy in London and Christina Aguilera's father, who she said was a domestic abuser.
If you ask my father where he's from, he will definitely say Ecuador, because he is sentimental about the country for reasons he's working out in therapy.
But if you push them, I mean really push them, they're both going to say they're from New York. If you ask them if they feel American, because you're a little narc who wants to prove your blood runs red, white, and blue, they're going to say no, we feel like New Yorkers. They've lived in New York since they left Ecuador in 1991.
I don't know much about my parents' decision to choose New York, or even the United States, as a destination. It's not that I haven't asked them why they came to the United States. It's that the answer isn't as morally satisfying as most people's answers are-- a decapitated family member, famine. And I never pressed them for more details because I don't want to apply pressure on a bruise.
The story, as far as I know it, goes something like this. My parents had just gotten married, and their small auto body business was not doing well. The idea of coming to America to work for a year to make just enough money to pay off their debts came up, and it seemed like a good idea. They left me with my dad's family when I was a year and a half old. That's about as much as I know.
My parents didn't come back after a year. They were barely making ends meet. When I was four years old, going to school in Ecuador, teachers began to comment on how gifted I was. My parents knew Ecuador was not the place for a gifted girl. The gender politics were too fucked up. And they wanted me to have all the educational opportunities they hadn't had. So that's when they brought me to New York. I was just shy of five when I stepped off the plane.
White Americans love academically achieving minorities. And I learned quickly that the most alluring thing about me was that I was young and brown and a good student, the holy trinity. I went to a Catholic elementary school on a scholarship, and we lived in Queens. My mother stayed home, and my father drove a cab. This was back when East New York was still gang country, and he had to fold his body into a little origami swan and hide under his steering wheel during crossfires in the middle of the day.
Then came September 11th, 2001. Here's how I remember the day my father started dying, not long after the twin towers fell. My father comes home from work, and I greet him in the doorway to give him a kiss hello. He walks slowly and comes toward my body at a strange angle a child could only interpret as a terrible fall. He collapses onto me to cry into my neck. I'm little, 12 or 13, but he does, he falls.
The letter says in English something about the DMV suspending driver's licenses for undocumented immigrants. It was part of an attempt to strengthen security measures after 9/11. My father had just lost his job as a taxi driver. He had also lost his state ID. Over the next 20 years, he'd lose many more things, but let's put a little blue thumb tack on this memory map, the first place in Hell we visited.
September 11th changed the immigration landscaper forever. ICE was the creation of 9/11 paranoia. It changed my father, too. It was hard to see him fall, because he was the most powerful person I knew. He was a difficult man, and I was a difficult child. I was polite and craved approval from authority figures, but I was also dark and precocious. Not precocious in the, we live in Tribeca, and my kid is a born artist, kind of way. More like, my immigrant third grader is reading Hemingway but is secretly drinking Listerine and toothpaste until she throws up because she wants it to kill her, kind of way.
Only years later would I realized how real my suicidal impulses were. That was too damn young, I'd think, lying down in the dark at my doctor's office with an IV of ketamine hooked up to my arm, hoping to extinguish the suicidality that began when I was five and lay crayons around the perimeter of my bed so I'd know in the morning if I'd been secretly raped at night. I'd know because the crayons would be broken.
My father read parenting books that explained how to raise troubled children. But those children were never straight-A students who were soft-spoken and loved teachers. It confused him, and the dissonance made him angry at me. He saw me as different from other children in a way that troubled him, and he fumbled in the dark to help me with what he couldn't name.
When I was off from school for any kind of break, my father would plan out my day in half hour increments, scheduling everything from bath time, to TV shows, to coloring time, to math drills, to time to play with dolls, and even bathroom breaks. He called it my schedule, and he hand wrote it on graph paper in different colored inks and taped it to my desk. When I became overwhelmed with panic, crying hysterically, he would send me to take a cold shower or take me out on a jog around the neighborhood.
He'd set aside a magazine or a newspaper articles for me to translate. He could not review the fidelity of the translation, but he judged my penmanship. I didn't know what would have happened to me if I had not been kept away from my own thoughts for so many years. My father kept me alive.
After my father lost his job as a taxi driver, he found a job as a delivery man at a restaurant down in the Financial District. In the mornings, he would deliver breakfast to offices-- a raisin bagel with cream cheese and a coffee with hazelnut creamer, orange juice and a banana, a granola bar and chocolate milk. There was no delivery minimum, so my father delivered it all. Because the deliveries were so small, sometimes he didn't get a tip. Sometimes he was told to keep the change, a quarter. Sometimes he was tipped in pennies. He had to say, thank you, sir, thank you, ma'am.
Sometimes he was given a $20 tip for a $5.00 breakfast. He always told us about those tips. They were usually from Puerto Rican receptionists who talked to him in Spanish and asked to see photos of me. When he came home was one of those tips, it was like having my dad back from the dead. He would dance to no music, and he'd make jokes, and he'd come out of his shower looking like a teenager.
My father didn't use a bike. He made all his deliveries on foot. He speed walked while carrying bags of food to offices on Wall Street. The plastic handles of the bags would twist and cut into his fingers, and he developed large calluses on both his hands. His polyester pants rubbed up against his calves so much that he lost all the hair on his legs.
He went through many pairs of inexpensive black rubber shoes. My mother massaged his feet at night. My dad's feet are small and fat, like mine, so you can't tell when they're swollen. After a few years, my dad's feet would hurt so much that he walked like he was on hot coals, sometimes leaning on me to move from the couch to the bed. Aye, yai, yai, yai, yai, he'd say, as he limped, like a mariachi.
When I was 15, the owner of the restaurant where my father worked hired a new manager to oversee the delivery men, who were all immigrants. The guy was Puerto Rican, an American citizen, and became immediately abusive, threatening to call ICE on them, yelling at them, getting up in their faces. My father fell into a bit of a depression.
I had just watched All the President's Men. I put on my best posh accent, dialed *69 to block my number, and called the restaurant. I asked to speak to the owner. I said I was a beat reporter for a big city newspaper and had just received a tip from a customer about overhearing racist abuse in the kitchen. And did he have a comment? The owner said he'd handle it and asked me not to write the story. I don't know, man, I said, it's a pretty good story. In the end, the manager was fired, and the cloud over my father lifted.
My father was furious when I told him what I did. But not for a minute in the 15 years since have I felt that what I did was unethical. Nor have I felt guilty for having a man fired. I'd do it again, but my accent would be better.
I went to a small public high school in Times Square, where around 80% of the student body was at or below the poverty line. We were mostly all black or Latinx. I was a high achiever. I wanted to go to the University of Chicago because I found the unofficial motto, where fun goes to die, appealing. But there is no beating Harvard. That name. I needed the name to keep my parents safe.
Harvard, at the time, did not know how to deal with undocumented students. When I was there, a very successful Wall Street man who knew me from an educational NGO we both belonged to-- he as a supporter, me as a supported-- learned I was undocumented and could not legally hold a work-study job. So every semester, he wrote me a modest check. In the notes section, and he cheekily wrote, beer money.
I wrote him regular emails about my life at Harvard and my budding success as a published writer. He was always appropriate and boundaried. I had read obsessively about artists since I was a kid and considered myself an artist since I was a kid, so I didn't feel weird about older, wealthy, white people giving me money in exchange for grades or writing. It was patronage. They were Gertrude Stein, and I was a young Hemingway. I was van Gogh, crazy and broken. I truly did not have any racial anxieties about this, thank god. That kind of thing could really fuck a kid up.
Different therapists throughout the years have tried to get me to confess to cultural shock about arriving to Harvard as a poor, undocumented freshman. But the truth is there was none. I've always had a really wonderful sense of self-esteem thanks to my mother, who is a tiny bit of a narcissist and has delusions of royalty, and because of my mental illness, which comes with delusions of grandeur of its own. So I kind of felt like it was my birthright. That probably makes a lot of people very mad.
As I began to receive my diagnoses and misdiagnoses throughout my 20s-- depression, anxiety, OCD, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, complex trauma-- I didn't feel anything other than affinity with writers I loved, people like Emily Dickinson, Sylvia Plath, Anne Sexton, and Robert Lowell. It made sense to me that I had my own demons. Of course I did.
I've always been super casual when people ask me about my parents having left me in Ecuador. That's a bravado I'd like to keep on the official record. But sometimes I think about it. I haven't talked with my parents about their having left me in Ecuador when I was a year and a half old. Sometimes I do adorable things, like take pictures of myself chugging vodka bottles or pretending to down the contents of a pill bottle, and send them to my mother with the caption, because you abandoned me.
When I am away from my partner and dog for a few days for work, and it's hard, I wonder how my parents were able to do it for three years. I don't blame either of them for it. I never have. What I'm describing to you is dirt extracted from a very tight pore. I don't feel anything about being left on the day to day, but I am told by mental health experts that it has affected me.
And I fought that conclusion. I denied it. I wanted to be a genius. I wanted my mental illnesses to be purely biological. I wanted to have been born wild and crazy and weird and brilliant, writing math equations in chalk on a window. Instead, therapist after therapist told me I had attachment issues and that my mental illnesses were related to my childhood. I left those therapists, ghosted them.
But it's not just those early years without my parents that branded me. It's the life I've lead in America as a migrant. As an undocumented person, I felt like a hologram. Nothing felt secure. I never felt safe. I didn't allow myself to feel joy because I was scared to attach myself to anything I'd have to let go of. Being deportable means you have to be ready to go at any moment. I've never loved a material object. When my parents took me home after my Harvard graduation, we took the Chinatown bus, and we each took one suitcase of my things. If it didn't fit, we threw it out. We threw out everything that wasn't clothes.
After I graduated from Harvard, I went to Yale to do a PhD. I never wanted to PhD. But DACA didn't exist then, and I couldn't legally get a job anywhere. And I had to buy time for something to happen-- for the DREAM Act to pass, which my dad had assured me would happened since I was in middle school. And I needed the health insurance.
It's allowed me to write, and my parents will be proud when I get that doctorate. I have fetched the American dream and laid it at my parents' feet. But the twisted inversion that many children of immigrants know is that, at some point, your parents become your children. And your own personal American dream becomes making sure they age and die with dignity in a country that has long wanted them dead.
A few years ago, my father experienced heart failure. This was the moment I had been preparing for my entire life. Everything that had happened to me since I took that New York-bound flight 24 years ago had been preparing me for this moment. Learning English, getting bangs, gaining weight, losing weight, getting the sick puppy from the pet shop-- all of that happened to prepare me to this point. My parents were sick, undocumented, uninsured, and aging out of work in a fucking racist country.
Until the pandemic hit, my father was a salad maker, feeding Manhattan's executive class. He had worked for 14 years at the same restaurant, then left. He was invited to a promising new job, lured there by an acquaintance who assured him of better hours, better treatment, a better environment. My dad is very gullible.
He spent a week at this new restaurant, where, for spare change, they had him work all day. And then at the end of the day, he was given just two and a half hours to clean an industrial kitchen-- an industrial fryer, a refrigerator, a stove, an oven, and a sink-- wash the dishes in the dishwasher, take out the trash, sweep and mop the floors, and clean the garbage chute. His body was wrecked at the end of each day. I'm too old to for this, he said. So he quit. His old job wouldn't take him back.
Desperate, he began each morning by showing up at a Latinx job agency, which would send him out to audition at a different restaurant day after day, week after week, to no avail. My dad started texting me blurry cell phone pictures from the job agency. He took the photos when he was sitting in the waiting room of the agency, waiting for his name to be called.
The first picture is of a man, maybe in his late 70s, wearing a green button down, khaki pants, and aviator sunglasses. His lips are downcast. My dad said he was applying to be a dishwasher. The second picture is of a man, maybe in his late 40s, who was wearing a black baseball cap, a gray sweater, and maroon pants. My dad said he'd had a stroke. His right arm was paralyzed, and he had a limp and his right leg. He was also applying to be a dishwasher.
It's hard to see men like that not get jobs, my dad texted. I hope they have children who can take care of them, I respond. What I mean to say is, I hope they have a child like me. I hope everyone has a child like me. I tell god, this is going to kill me anyway, so just take me. Patent and mass produce and distribute me to undocumented immigrants at Walmarts. I am a professional undocumented immigrant's daughter.
I saved the photos on my phone as a reminder to myself of why I need to be successful, so successful, statistical anomaly successful. Then I deleted them because they harmed my mental health. I wish I still had them.
My parents live in New York City, and after the pandemic hit in March, they lost their jobs. They're both in Queens, the center of the center of the epidemic. I've prohibited my father from doing dangerous gig work, like deliveries. And I've begun to financially support them both. My mom is immunocompromised. She has an extremely low white blood cell count.
I have really lovely dreams, crazy fucking cotton candy fantasy dreams, dreams that make my whole body feel warm, where I cut up my chest, no anesthesia, take out my lungs, and implant them into her chest with the tree stitch. And if I'm lucky, in the seconds I have before I die, I would be able to see her heart. We wouldn't even need a ventilator.
There is a Harvard scholar named Roberto Gonzalez who has conducted longitudinal studies on the effects of undocumented life on young people. He found his subjects suffered chronic headaches, toothaches, ulcers, sleep problems, and eating issues, which is funny to find in research because I get these migraines, an 8 or 9 on the 10 point scale. I have a CAT scan, an MRI. I go to the neurologist. The readings are all inconclusive. I'm told it's a migraine with an unknown cause. Have you tried yoga, they say.
The headaches get worse when I write about my parents. From migrants shot in the head by Border Patrol, to migrant children being forcibly injected with drugs in detention centers, US government's crimes against immigrants are beyond the pale. And the whole world knows. But when I was growing up and throughout the Obama administration, similar crimes were happening, if on a different scale, and I'm not sure the same people cared.
I felt crazy for thinking we were under attack, watching my neighbors disappear and then going to school, and watching the nightly news, and watching award shows and seeing no mention. I felt crazy watching the white supremacist state slowly kill my father. I would frantically tell everyone that there was no such thing as the American dream. But then some all-star immigrants around me, who had done things the right way, preached a different story, and Americans ate that up. It all made me feel crazy. I also am crazy. Pero why?
Researchers have shown that the flooding of stress hormones resulting from a traumatic separation from your parents at a young age kills off so many dendrites and neurons in the brain that it results in permanent psychological and physical changes. One psychiatrist I went to told me that my brain looks like a tree without branches. So I just think about all the children who have been separated from their parents, and there's a lot of us, past and present, and some under more traumatic circumstances than others, like those who are in internment camps right now.
And I just imagine us as an army of mutants. What will happen to us? Who will we become? Who will take care of us? We've all been touched by this monster, and our brains are forever changed, all of us trees without branches.
Karla Cornejo Villavicencio reading an essay adapted from her brand new memoir, The Undocumented Americans. https://www.thisamericanlife.org/700/transcript
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