#he is old and grey in the muzzle and looks grumpy half of the time

[jaxthedragon]

I love my dog. Truly the saddest, wettest cat ever

[strawbebehmod]

Tiger greed au stuff

Some tiger greed headcanons. Greed bought the abandoned building next to the devil’s nest to give them more space. He also had a greenhouse build on top of the devil’s nest where they could hang out. All his cats were trained to use a gravel lot in the basement of the other building he owned as a bathroom. He had to hire people to maintain this building. They were sworn to secrecy

Some of his notable big cats: Dragon: Big male white tiger This was the first tiger greed acquired. He had him before the devil’s nest was established He found him at a traveling circus and decided he wanted him Dragon is very chill Listens to greed for the most part Only lets greed pet him But will sleep wherever he feels like, including someone else’s bed Loves turkey, especially turkey legs Especially loved playing with the bones Had a terrible habit of sinking his claws into anything he liked, thus they needed regular trimmings

Poppy: Female Siberian tiger Had her for over twenty years Most cuddly tiger Trained to attack on command Will play with victims like a ball of string Very active but stays away from the bar area of the devil’s nest Will climb on anything she can Favorite foods are smoked ham and spicy sausages with eggs Brave enough to sneak food from Greed’s plate Allowed him to pick her up for five minutes before trying to bite him Completely spoiled rotten

Azalea Female Siberian/bengal mix Another one he acquired from a circus Very shy and never let him pick her up Only let greed pet her anyone else was subject to face mauling Enjoyed resting her head on his lap Very quiet, almost never roared Liked sleeping in greed’s treasure room on his piles of gold Also enjoyed being adorned in pearl and diamond necklaces As well as hanging out in the greenhouse Favorite foods are spare ribs and pork chops

Bourbon Male African lion Originally owned by some rich guy trying to keep him as a trophy Was completely declawed by this person as well as muzzled, half starved, and kept in a small cage most of the time that he couldn’t even stand up in Greed defaced the man’s mansion upon stealing the lion from him Became the laziest cat greed ever had, spending the rest of his days lying around on mountains of pillows and rolling around in catnip (catnip does infact work on lions) Likes wide open spaces, gets nervous and starts biting his tail if in a room smaller than fourteen feet by fourteen feet An immovable force. No one could wake him from his slumber or move him from the couch Enjoyed chewing on greed’s ultimate shield Will eat anything meat, but particularly loves to chew on pigs ears as treats and enjoys lamb chops on special occasions

Sheela and Sgt. Fireball Female Malayan tiger and male sumatran tiger Won from a circus owner in a poker game

Sheela The mom tiger Will groom greed’s hair and vest fur against his will Would hunt him down and pounce on him to do so This was a daily occurrence Highly protective of greed Had a specific couch that was hers and no one else’s Anyone who touched it lost an arm Greed was the only one who didn’t She physically shoved him off of the couch and growled at him, keeping eye contact as she climbed on it Would shove him in the direction of somewhere she wanted him to go or to get him to move out of her way Would push many things off shelves Also needed claws trimmed regularly as she liked to kneed the carpet with her claws Her favorite foods were grilled carp and baby back ribs Loved the spicy sauce even though it was bad for her

Sgt. Fireball Would fight anyone Was kept far away from any humans because of this Still tried to sneak into the bar area Wrestled greed often Would use his ultimate shield as a chew toy Didn’t like to be petted Was a slut for hot dogs Like, even the cheap nasty kinds It did not matter, all hot dogs were good to him, even burnt ones Bratwursts were evil, however, and were to be destroyed upon sight Greed once had a few hot dog eating contests with him The tiger won 4 out of 5 times He also learned to beg for table scraps Sadly he did not stay with greed long, as he got out and was immediately taken by animal control to the Central Zoo. No one was injured, but it still upset greed

Brom Very big male bengal tiger Bought off the black market Wanted to be the boss Wrestled with greed a lot Enjoyed trying to bite his head off Top guard cat, very good at his job Slept most of the day and was up all night Was grumpy around people and growls at anyone who passes within ten feet of him Also not big on petting but a bit more ok with it Has taken off greed’s arm before Was very proud of this Liked giving face licks Favorite food was bacon and fried eggs Had a cub with Peaches Was only around the chimeras for a year before passing away from old age Really liked martel during that time

Ferris Male Jaguar Also known as “captain asshole” Was stolen from a circus with a monkey as well as peaches and maggie The only cat greed really didn’t like Greed had to put deadbolt locks on the bathroom because he figured out how to turn on the bath tub and took three hour baths with water running down the halls Stole all the nicest sheets and pillows in the building Got into many arguments with Brom The two were kept away from each other after that Steals and sleeps on all of greed’s favorite clothing Also stole several bottles of greed’s favorite whiskey and refused to give them back because they were shiny Greed still doesn’t know what happened to the cowhide rug Would regularly sneak into the bar floor and purposely scare away patrons Would only let Greed’s favorite female guests pet him and would totally hog their attention Slept in greed’s bed by sprawling out over the whole thing and refused to move for him Liked to climb on top of the canopy beds and surprise him from above Was the pickiest eater of all the cats Would only eat salmon, lobster, or really nice steak One time someone joked that Ferris was the cat version of greed This person was banned from the devil’s nest Ferris “accidentally” escaped one day Greed did not go looking for him

Peaches Female Golden bengal tiger Absolute sweetheart Greed’s secret favorite The chimeras have caught him baby talking to her Follows greed wherever he goes Is the most well behaved Likes to hang out in the bar area but doesn’t bug anyone Likes being petted a lot Will lick your clothing if it is orange Still will maul faces if ordered to An expert at begging, she will sit her head on greed’s lap and make little noises until he gives her what she wants Loves hot baths Her favorite food is chicken but she also likes licking watermelon on hot days Will eat out of the palm of greed’s hand Good tiger mom to her cub and is very proud of him

Maggie Indochinese tiger Peaches’ shadow But really doesn’t like people Enjoys making Roa nervous by getting too close to him and just staring at him or sniffing him Enjoys rolling all over the fresh laundry They’ve invested in cloth laundry bags because of this instead of breakable plastic baskets Has a habit of sticking her tongue out Jumps at loud noises Is a regular victim of laser pointer chasing Loves sunbathing and jazz music Is probably the pair of eyes following you from the darkness in the middle of the night And by you, I mean dolcetto Or Roa Greed claims this can’t be because maggie sleeps in the greenhouse on the top of the building Her favorite food is clam chowder She does not care that it makes her sick, she will hunt down the pot and eat the whole thing

Bruce Male bengal tiger cub Peaches and Brom’s cub Extremely cute The only cub greed ever had Yes he did the lion king thing And yes, peaches attacked him twelve seconds later for stealing her baby Bruce thinks he’s bigger than he really is Steals greed’s boots regularly Will get into everything Bido once found him inside one of his pillows playing with the feathers Inherited his love of chicken from his mom Makes nomming noises as he eats

Skipper Male cheetah The last big cat greed got Found him in a lab while helping other chimeras escape Was probably going to be used to make a chimera Is extremely jittery Will not go near most of the chimeras Except dolcetto He loves dolcetto He will follow him wherever he goes and rub up against him all the time Dolcetto is terrified of him, even though he’s been told cheetahs don’t eat people But the cheetah will not go away He even crawls on top of dolcetto as he’s trying to sleep Dolcetto doesn’t sleep well those nights Greed once tried to take him out to get exercise by disguising him as a grey hound and taking him to a park This plan did not end well They still have to take him for walks regularily Skipper’s favorite food is meatballs and canned tuna