#he is not getting better. he is constantly getting worse

[goldengamer2500]

Personal vent Below cut:

My life has kinda gone to shit ever since COVID and it's not gotten better since. I'll try to summarize the last 5 years in as quick of a manner as i can:

The only context you need for this is that I'm about to turn 19, recently figured out im trans and I lived with my little brother and both of my parents before covid.

Covid hits, forced to online school, no interaction with friends

Parents get separated without telling us

Dad forces us to move to a separate state to get as far away from my mom as possible, we didn't know why at the time

Lost contact with old friends cause of that

Moved like 4 separate times in the span of three months.

Eventually Mom and Dad seemingly get their shit together and reconcile, Mom moves back with us.

Spoiler alert: They didn't get their shit together. The next 3 years will be filled with constant fighting and bickering between them, which they tried to keep away from us but failed miserably

Homeschooled for a year, it sucked.

Still no interaction with the outside world cause the lockdown is still a thing

This is about the time where I was supposed to enter highschool. I'm enrolled into a tiny-ass online school with like 10 students, none of which I particularly liked.

Starting to become aware of gender dysphoria, even if I didn't know what it was at the time, it sucked.

Total shut-in by this point, even if it's not entirely my fault. Stop taking care of my health at all. I'm so dangerously underweight my parents think I have anemia. (I didn't)

Parents try to put me on a diet and shit, somehow that sucked even more.

Second year of highschool. By this time the lockdown was over and schools were returning to in-person classes. Even though the school I was had also returned to in-person classes my parents insisted on keeping me online only for the first half of the year. (Remember that the school has like 10 students, so you can imagine how that was unbelievably awkward for everyone involved)

Fights and arguments between my parents become more frequent and violent at this point.

Finally return to in-person classes, super awkward cause of my long period of isolation and the weird online/in-person arrangement we had at the beginning of the year. Didn't make any friends.

^ Not like any of that mattered because not long after I finally returned to in-person classes my parents got divorced for real this time and they started fighting over custody. Which meant that I started missing classes because of jumping between living with my dad and my mom. (My dad kept the family car)

Their fighting only got worse during this time.

Right when I was about to finish my second year of highschool (literally like a week before that) my parents have this huge fight and my mom puts a restraining order on my dad, forcing us to stay with her indefinitely.

My dad obviously contests this and they begin a long, honestly stupid legal battle that's still fucking ongoing over custody and child support.

Mom is barely able to afford to take care of me and my brother because of her low salary and the fact that my dad was trying to pay as little child support as he physically could.

Mom begins to drink constantly, getting drunk every few days.

Basically forced to take care of her and my brother instead of myself. (not like I cared for myself either way)

Completely skipped third year of highschool because of this.

This continues for about a year, we pretty much go no-contact with our dad or with the outside world during this time because my mom doesn't have a car.

Move other few times during this time.

Mom is still unable to afford to take care of me and my brother and dad still refuses to pay child support so she's forced to send my brother to live with my grandparents so that they can help him go to an actual highschool.

Figure out im trans, cue gender dysphoria being a bitch.

Mom forces me to find an online college to enroll into. (I had been postponing this as much as possible due to lack of motivation towards life, possibly because of depression (haven't been able to afford to go to a therapist so i cant say if that was actually the reason))

Moved again, the legal battle between my parents continues to be on a stalemate.

And that's basically where we are now. Mom and Dad have been fighting their legal battle for almost two years now and I haven't seen my dad in that time (particularly due to lack of trying). My brother was forced to move to a different state. Mom still drinks (but thankfully much less), she got a better job so we're not as tight with money but the situation there is not great. Dad still refuses to pay child support. The online college I'm on isn't great and I haven't talked to people my age in years.

So yeah. I don't want to blame it all on COVID, but it certainly didn't help.

me in five years when i still don’t have my life together:

[400badrequest]

a bit presumptious | Matt Murdock x F!Reader

SUMMARY: Mr Murdock is a good boss - it's not his fault that you day dream about him fucking you.

WORD COUNT: 4.6K

cw: enthusiastic cunnilingus, gratuitous smut, office sex, age difference

A/N: ik i spelt the title wrong this is a cross post from AO3 here

Interning for Nelson and Murdock was supposed to be good. Well, it was, but it was exhausting. While it was definitely better than the other less ethical options there was always so much to do. Your desk was constantly buried in paperwork no matter how late you stayed, things to be sorted, filed, signed by Mr Murdock (“Please. I know I’m older than you, but Matt is fine.”) or Mr Foggy (“Better than being called Mr Nelson!”). You were beginning to understand why Karen said fuck it and decided to pursue a journalistic career. It didn’t help that the heating was always broken and that even with your scarf and stockings you were still freezing your nips off. 

“Mr Foggy left some files on your desk before he left for his date,” You tell Matt when he arrives from the cold outside, watching as he tugged off his bulky coat. “Said that Detective Sergeant Mahoney wanted a second opinion on them.”

The wind had left his soft hair tousled, and he huffs a little as he runs his fingers through it in an attempt to fix it - you bite back a laugh as he somehow manages to make it worse. “Thank you,” Matt says softly, a gentle smile on his lips. “I can’t believe Foggy and Marcy’ve been together for two years now.”

You can’t help but watch as he takes his glasses off to wipe the rain off them, immediately locking onto his soft, unfocused eyes. He rarely took them off around you and tended to slip them back on when you entered a room. Foggy had explained once that he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable with the empty vacant look that they always had, glazed as he looked slightly past you - and you’d never really quite known how to tell him you didn’t mind.

“They’re cute,” you offer as he walks past you to his office. “Mr Foggy said something about um- Danny being an angel? They’re going to the Met for dinner.”

“ Danny?” Matt says from the doorway of his office. “That’s one hell of an anniversary date.” There’s a fond chuckle in his voice as he turns around. “Ow.”

“You okay?” You stand up quickly, heels clicking as you dash to his office. He waves you off, hand resting on the edge of the corner of his table, fingers rubbing at the corner. Your breath stutters as you can’t help but watch as his index and middle finger part over it, circling slowly.

“Bumped the desk,” he admits. 

“Oh uh- that’s my fault,” you say, embarrassment colouring your voice. “I ran into it when I put the paperwork on your desk - I completely forgot to move it back, I’m so sorry-”

“Hey, hey it’s okay,” he chuckles softly, shifting the table back. “Accidents happen.”

You can’t help but hover awkwardly in the doorway as he sits at his desk. The only light filtering into the room is from the dandelion yellow street lamp outside, peeking through the slats of the open shades. Shadowy impressions of rain trace their way down Matt’s face, tinted glasses almost black. Your eyes trail down with a droplet that slips down the window, following as its dark echo dancing down his throat and shirt, until it disappears into the shadow hidden behind his desk. He hums, fingers tracing the braille of the file. 

“Do you want coffee?” You blurt. “I- yeah. I need coffee. I’ll get you some-”

You turn on your heel and beeline for the tea station that Karen had set up ages ago. Matt’s chuckle follows you while you click on a new pot of coffee.

It made you feel like a perv - tracing your eyes across him when he’s across the room, watching his hands flex when he held his coffee cups, staring at his scruff when he smirked. Foggy sometimes stifled laughter at your rising flush whenever Matt pressed his hand to your lower back to move you out of the way, or to figure out his way around an unknown space. It was even worse when it felt like Matt had caught you, head sometimes tilting in your direction when you looked. You knew he couldn’t see you, but still. 

You sigh as you slump against the counter, fighting the want to bury your head in your hands and scream. The crush you were fostering on your boss was just a crush (at least that’s what you told yourself). It stemmed from admiration - Matt was so terrifying and silver tongued in court, but kind and soft spoken to clients. And it didn’t help that he liked to act like he cared about you sometimes; making sure you were sleeping, eating, draping his coat on you when it got too cold, tsking softly and exasperatedly when you prioritised studies over basic needs.

It wasn’t helpful either that you’d seen the types of women he went for - slim, willowy and assertive. You… you weren’t that. You didn’t have the genetic gifts of mile long thin legs and a godly metabolism. Your tummy pressed up against your pants whenever you tucked your button downs in, and the insides of your thighs rubbed together when you walked. Marcy said it made you a real woman, not some waif - but that didn’t stop you from believing that despite his lack of sight, Mr Murdock would somehow know.

Giving in, you groan into your elbow as the pot dings, giving yourself a single minute. Then, you straighten your blouse, pour two cups - both with milk, one with sugar - and walk back to Matt’s office. 

“Coffee,” you say, putting it on his desk, careful not to place it on any paper. “6 o’clock, 7 and a little bit inches.”

Matt hums as he grabs it smoothly. “You’ve gotten better at that,” he praises and you flush as you lean in the doorway, trying to ignore how hot the coffee is as it burns down your throat. 

“I’m trying,” You reply, a grin in your voice. “Helps that you’re easy on the eyes.”

“What?” Matt startles with a laugh, looking up at you with a raised eyebrow. “Uh-” you stumble over your words. “I mean- like- as in y'know- um-” A small grin starts to curve at Matt’s mouth. “I watch you.”

“You watch me.” He rises at that, hands braced on the table. It’s starting to spread into a proper smirk.

“Wait, no, not like that.” You say, affronted. “As in like- uh- watching how you do things, how you move so I can make it easier.”

“Mm, really.” There’s a chuckle weaved in his words. “ That’s what you mean by ‘easy on the eyes’?”

“Yes,” you squeak, lie tumbling out. “Absolutely.” You can feel your palms start to sweat, and it is not from the heat of the cup in your hands. Somehow, Matt has managed to get around the table, now leaning on it with his ankles crossed, hand braced behind him. You can’t stop your eyes tracing from his dress shoes, up to his belt and hovering there before your gaze crawls to his face. Matt’s head is cocked slightly to the side, as if listening to something. 

“So the way you’re undressing me with your eyes has nothing to do with you finding me attractive?” 

“Jesus Christ, how did you-?”

“I’m blind, not stupid,” Matt says with a smirk, and you can’t help but swallow thickly at how the shadows cut across his front, biceps tight in his dress shirt. 

“Never said you were,” you reply weakly. 

“Vision isn't the only sense that humans have, you know." He says wryly.

“I know that!”

"Do you?” His voice is teasing as he steps forward. “From the sound of your voice, the way you walk, how you always swallow when I touch you - I don’t need sight to know what you like.” You can’t stop the shiver that runs up your spine as he takes the cup from your hand, placing it on a filing shelf. “I can feel the heat coming from your body, the way it radiates off you."

Your head bonks against the door frame as you groan, face colouring with fluster and embarrassment. “Shush. Shut up, sir.” You grumble, doing your best to not look at him. 

His voice is tinged with amusement as he talks. "What's the matter?”

“C’mon sir,” You whine a little. “You’re being unfair.”

"I never knew I could cause you to have a crisis by just speaking." Matt murmurs. You can smell his laundry powder - it’s faintly floral. For a moment you’re glad he’s blind, knowing he can’t tell you’re staring at the soft curve of his bottom lip. 

"I- fucking- I’m going home,” You rush out. "I can't do this. I can't do feelings, feelings for my boss " You moan, face hot with what feels like shame. Maybe it’s arousal. 

“Wait." Matt murmured, the tone of his voice taking on a more serious edge. A small frown pulled at his lips. "You don't have to go. We can just ignore this entire conversation - forget it even happened." His voice is genuine, gentle and concerned. “Please.”

You swallow thickly, having to tilt your head up to look up at him, door frame digging into your spine. 

When you don’t speak or move, a smile lifts the corner of his mouth. His step forward is quiet, and even with your back already against the frame, you can’t help but push into it a little more. “What do you want?” He murmurs softly, gently cupping your hands with his. The calluses of his palms are rough against your smooth knuckles, the contrast jarring. 

“I- I don’t-” You stutter, voice caught in your throat. What the fuck was happening?

His thumb lightly brushed against the palm of your hand, gentle and comforting as he felt across your love line. 

Matt took another step closer, so close you could nearly feel his breath on your cheek, his firm chest gently pressing against the swell of your breasts. 

"What do you want?" He repeated, his voice barely above a whisper.

You let out a small whimper, looking up at the scruff on his jaw, the aged lines on his face, the greys starting to grow at his temples. Matt- Mr Murdock was much older, more experienced. There was the faint sparkle of greys in the stubble around his mouth too. 

Without a word, he reached up and gently cupped your soft jaw in his hand. The pad of his thumb gently stroked across your cheek, and you did your best to breathe as he tilted your face up to meet his unseeing gaze behind his glasses. A flush had warmed your face - he could feel the vestiges of innocence in the curve of your face. 

You could tell that even through the darkened shades he was doing his best to focus all of himself on you. Your heartbeat thumped hard in your throat - hard enough that he could feel it on the fingers curled gently around your jaw. 

He leaned in slightly, his breath ghosting over your skin. "Just tell me what you want," he whispered again, his voice low and husky, a tinge of pleading in his tone.

"Please," You whisper, tilting your face up. " Please."

"Please, what?" He tilted his head to the side. He was so close, his lips almost brushing against yours. He could smell the sweat and desire on you, you were sure of it. "Tell me what you want," he said again, his voice almost guttural. Your eyes flutter shut on instinct - from need or shyness, you don’t know. Your free hand twists into the doorframe. 

You know he can’t see you. But at that he groans and holds you still as he presses a firm full kiss on your waiting mouth. It’s slow and gentle, and for a moment he just holds you there - until you groan just the tiniest bit.

It’s like a switch flips - he drops your other hand, gripping at your plush hip and presses you hard into the jamb, squishing your soft tits and the swell of your tummy into the muscled planes of his body. The hand that was once gentle on your face snakes up into your hair, tugging until it’s out and then tangling his fingers firmly at the base so he can manipulate your head so he can deepen the kiss into something wet and filthy. 

You gasp, pulling him in closer with the front of his shirt, scrambling for purchase as you twist your hands in the fabric. As your mouth opens, Matt licks in - he tastes like sweet coffee and spit and sin. A whimper leaves you, unbidden, as he continues to paw at your soft hips, body lighting up from the inside. You know your underwear is ruined as it sticks to your cunt, already dripping from the feeling of him on you. 

He made a groan of his own, the sound escaping low and deep in his throat. His face is flushed, eyes lidded as he pulls away, still holding you in place.

"Oh fuck-" You whine as he pull away, you bosom heaving against his solid chest. "What the fuck, come back-"

Matt wets his swollen lip, his breath heavy. You know that you probably look the same - if not worse. He leaned down and brushed his lips over the soft exposed skin of your neck, leaving soft, feather-like kisses as he used his grip in your hair to gently guide your head to the side. "So impatient," he teases.

At that you moan reedily. “Oh- Matt-”

His grip on your hip tightened, pulling you firmly against him. You squeak as your breasts squish into him, pelvis to pelvis - you can feel him thickening in his pants, a flush climbing your cheeks.

Matt’s lips rove lazily over your skin. He could feel your pulse flutter against his lips, racing harder and faster. You could feel his sharklike grin as he hummed softly against your skin. "Be patient," he chided, biting gently at your throat.

A strangled groan rips from you as you feel him slide the hand on your hip to your chest, gently palming your full tits. “Okay?” He murmurs quietly. You don’t have the brain to be embarrassed about the pudge of your tummy being smushed.

“ Yes,” you whine. “Yes, just- please, Matthew.”

That’s all it takes for him to break - his mouth is back on you, fierce and possessive. “Again. Say it again,” He demands between kisses. You hear a clatter - he’s ripped off his glasses, throwing them carelessly behind him.  

“Matthew,” you breathe out as you slide a hand so it's pressed against his firm abdomen, heel against your abs, fingers ghosting his belt buckle. Matt growls at that, dragging you to his desk roughly - papers and pens alike hit the floor. 

“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” He grinds out as he tugs open your pants. "Any?” “Matt-!” You squeak as he rips your blouse open, buttons flinging across the room. Your soft breasts sit heavy in your utilitarian bra, and he tuts when he feels it. His fingers are adept and nimble as they quickly unhook the back, wrenching it off - it skitters when it hits the wood floor. 

“ Fuck-” he bites out as he palms the dove soft, squishy flesh of your tits, roughly palming at your nipples. A small shriek pops out of your mouth when he twists a perk nipple, standing proud in the cold. In turn you start to fumble with his belt but he gently smacks your hand away, dropping to his knees.

“Matthew?” You ask confused - but he shoves his way forward, lifting one of your legs so it's hooked over his shoulder. Embarrassment floods your face when he mashes his face directly up against your clothed cunt.

“Matt!” you can help but protest, as he groans and you yelp as you feel him grab at the zip and rip your fucking pants so that your drenched panties are on display. “ Fuck,” He snarls, hands on your soft thighs, fingering at your stretch marks, kneading at them. “I can smell you from here.” Matt sounds enamoured, and he whines as he presses his nose to your soaked cunt, lapping at the cloth. 

“Oh my guh-” You can’t get the full word out - he shoves your panties to the side, latching onto your clit with his mouth and sucking. Your brain shorts out for a moment, all forms of conscious thought disappearing. His moans are almost as loud as yours when he finally unlatches to smack the flat of his tongue against your wet messy slit. 

“Fuck, sweetheart,” Matt whines, throaty and wrecked. Your heart stops for a moment when you look at him, where he’s cradled in your thighs - for the first time, you can see the proper softness in his unseeing gaze, the longing crease between his eyebrows. “Can I-”

“Yes, yes,” You rush out, nodding frantically. “ Please, Matthew.”

Normally, Matt was incredibly pedantic about making sure his partners knew what they were agreeing too - but you. You . You made him toss common sense on the window. He groans and shoves his face back into your slick cunt, ignoring your yelp when your legs are stretched open further to accommodate his broad shoulders. He stands so he can shove harder into your wetness, cheeks smearing your arousal everywhere. Spit and slick dribbles down your taint and arse and over Matt’s stubble - but he can’t find himself to care as he laps at you, trying to eat his fill. The rasp of his five o’clock shadow against your hole is sickeningly delicious. The smell of your arousal was so heady and intoxicating that he couldn’t even find it in him to be embarrassed at how desperate he was acting.

He can’t help but groan, realising you can barely see him over the chub of your mons and plush tummy. Your body is so delightfully soft and Matt can’t resist the urge to grab and paw at your soft pudge - your stomach, your padded hips, your thighs. The way your heart ticks faster when he starts grabbing at you only urges him on more. One of his hands drifts back to your swollen clit, still sensitive and puffy from being sucked on - your hand grabbing firmly at his hair when he starts deftly rubbing tight circles as it. The pulling and yowling seems to encourage him of anything, licking more firmly. 

The press of his fingers, the fingers you’d spent hours daydreaming about, finally press into your sloppy hole as he switches his mouth back to your clit. “Are you even breathing?” You can’t help but ask - the rumble of his laugh tells you he’s probably not doing it enough. “Oh fu-” Your back bows as he rubs methodically against the spongy bit at the roof of your cunt, stupid noises babbling out of you when you grip at his hair. “Ma- Matt, Matthew, oh God, oh o -”

His fingers stop moving as much, just pressing hard as your cunt starts to seize, your body curling tightly as your muscles tighten immensely at the precipice of your orgasm. Your clit twitches as the nerves under the skin continue to be abused by Matt’s mouth that was firmly suctioned to flesh directly under your soft mons. His nose was pressed into the flesh, squished happily into you. A hiccuped noise of pleasure rips out of you, reedy and desperate. “I- Plea-”

He doesn’t stop when you cum - he pulls his fingers out of you, yes, but he immediately starts lapping at your now puffy and leaky cunt like a dog, as if desperate to make sure he eats all of your dripping slick and cum. You shriek a little as he shifts you, licking at your taint to clean up all of it. “Mat- that- oh my god-”

“ Fuck , you’re such a good fucking girl,” Matt says, desperately out of breath. Your slick and his spit shines on the lower half of his face, and he doesn’t even attempt to wipe it off before standing and dropping his weight onto you to grab your face, kissing you wetly. You can taste your own thick arousal in his mouth, and can’t help but squeal when the seat of his pants bumps up against your sensitive sex.

“T-thank you-” You hiccup out between the press of his open mouth to yours. “I- please lemme-”

“Yeah sweetheart, hold on-” Matt rushes out as he tugs open his pants, groaning when his engorged cock slaps out against his stomach. It’s as large and as thick as the rest of him, nestled in a thatch of curls. Precum drops onto his shirt, and you can’t help but reach up and deftly unbutton it. Matt huffs a laugh at your gentleness - he’d all but ruined your blouse. Your eyes widen - you knew he was built and had some… rough history, but nothing prepares you for how the yellow street light dips and fills the curves of his trim muscles, the starkness of the thin gnarly scars that sit slashed across his full chest. 

“Jesus, Matt,” you exhale, fingers gently tracing them. His expression softens as he hears the concern taint your arousal. 

“I’m okay,” He murmurs, pressing his forehead to the roundness of your shoulder. His hands are gentle as he pulls you away from running your own over the scars - not to stop you, but to comfort. “It was a long time ago.”

You know there’s nothing you can say here - so you let him guide your face up so he can kiss you silly again, the head of his cock nudging at your cunt. Matt takes it slow, gently laying you out on the table so he can grip at your hips, revelling at the feeling of his fingers sinking into the soft padding. 

“You’re so soft,” He can’t help but murmur, kneading at your hips like a cat. The raised smoothness of your stretch marks feel like a soft pulled silk against Matt’s fingertips. “Feel so pretty…”

“Matthew,” you whine, face pinking. “That’s- you’re my boss, you can’t say that!”

Matt laughs at that - a little disbelieving. “Sweetheart, I just ate you out until you came on my face, and I’m about to fuck you raw. I think I’m allowed to appreciate how beautiful you feel under my hands.”

“Fair enough,” you gasp out as he rubs the fat head of his cock up and down your slit. Matt groans, eyes shut tight with his free hand kneading your plump hip. The heady heat of your dampened cunt makes his senses blur at the edges, the world narrowing down to the throb of your pussy. 

“Tell me I can fuck you,” Matt says, desperately, voice rough. “Sweetheart, please-”

“Yes, fucking damn it, Matthe- ah-”

Your breath catches as he notches the head of his cock into your cunt. It’s thick and hot, burning you from the inside out. “You can take it baby,” He grinds out, teeth clenched as he slowly slides all the way in. “There- there you go, good girl-”

You can’t help but gasp wetly as he bottoms out, eyes slamming shut as he gently starts rolling his hips. His heavy sac kisses against your taint and furled arsehole with each careful thrust as Matt carves a space in your cunt, slowly driving himself in harder and harder , until the table starts to shake with the force of it, your little ah, ah, ah ’s turning into gasped wails, as he whines into your shoulder. “Matthew-” you sob out as he grips tightly at your love handles so he can drag you onto his fat cock in time with his heavy thrusts. “Oh fuck- fuck-”

“So good,” Matt praises, strained as he pounds into you, hips snapping. He’d lowered himself onto you, his firmness pressing against your soft plush front. “Feel so good-” his tendons strain under your hands as you try to ground yourself by gripping at his wrist, spinning embarrassingly fast towards your orgasm. 

“It’s alright, c’mon,” Matt pants out - he noses under your ear. “Cum for me, please- cum for me sweetheart-”

The noise you let out is high and animal, desperate - your stomach tenses awfully and hard, legs shaking as your orgasm rips through you. Matt’s arms tighten around you as he murmurs softly in your ear, hips still rolling gently. “That’s it, that’s it-” His voice is strained and raspy. 

A wet sob gutters you. “Matthew, Matthew-”

Matt groans into your neck - you feel it when he cums, your throbbing cunt ripping the seed out of him. He chokes out a curse, his weight dropping down onto you, sweaty and pressing wet kisses onto your throat. “Good girl, you’re such a good girl.”

It’s like lying in a dense fog when Matt pulls out of you with a wet schlop. “Oh fuck,” You mumble, blinking hazily. Matt chuckles.

“Good?” He asks softly, free hand coming up to cup at your cheek, thumb running softly under your eye. You whimper a little - you can feel the slick and cum dripping out of your puffy wet cunt, pooling onto the table. Matt chuckles. “That good, huh?”

Before you can reply, Matt hums, slowly ducking his head back between your legs. “Matt-” He shushes you softly. “Let me clean up the mess, baby.”

His tongue is gentle as he laps at the mess between your thighs. Matt can’t help but groan at the smell, the bitter salty and heady taste. He’d missed this - being able to indulge in a sweet used cunt, a woman sobbing in pleasure above him. With work and his growing affection for you, he’d lost the want for casual sex. Father Lantom would’ve been proud. Matt locks his lips to your hole and sucks, swallowing down the mix of your cum and his. When your whines turn from pleasured to overstimulated, pained, Matt pulls away, with a final soft kiss to your puffy clit. Then a soft press of his lips to your thigh, and your hip. 

Matt looks like a damn vision when he looks at you - face flushed, hair sticking up in every direction. His smile is soft and heavenly as he gently eases you back into your pants, “Ah- sorry about your shirt, sweetheart,” He says sheepishly.

You can’t help but laugh a little. “You’re impossible,” You murmur, reaching forward and helping him button up his shirt - you’re still out of breath, and Matt’s skin is hot to the touch when you wipe the sweat off his brow. When he leans slightly into your touch, your heart stutters in your chest. Matt cocks his head a little, a small smile ticking at his lips, as if he can hear it. 

He hums, pressing a small kiss to your cheek - then your lips. “Hello,” Matt murmurs - his expression is soft, the street light seeping across his face like water colour paint on a wet page. 

“Hi,” You whisper, almost shy. Oh God, you’d just slept with your boss - your boss who was gently kissing your face as he dressed you. His hands are gentle on you, despite the rough pads of his fingers - like the rasp of sandpaper on silk. Matt chuckles. 

It had started to drizzle outside - the faint sounds of sleet hitting the roof soft and cold as a faint breeze sneaks in through the gaps in the windows. Matt doesn’t say anything - just grabbing his coat off the back of his chair and gently pulling the heavy material onto your shoulders as he tugs you into his lap. 

“Would it be presumptuous for me to take you out for dinner now?” Matt asks after a moment. A laugh startles out of you.

“Pretty presumptuous, yeah. But… I’d like that.”

[strwberri-milk]

Hello, I read your ask are open

Can I request Rafayel, Zayne and Sylus reacting to mc getting into a car accident and broke her leg.

I just got into an accident and fractured my leg, and it got me thinking how the LADS boys will react

me too bestie /jk it wasnt a car accident and i broke my ankle lol this is aptly timed bc. im currently partially bedbound bc of it LMAO

Rafayel will not leave the hospital. If you're not at a hospital that will allow him to stay overnight then he's going to get you moved to one where he can, and see if he can get you into a better room as well so you can rest in the hospital well. He's also not going to let you eat the hospital food because he thinks you deserve far better, going out to get you takeout or whatever it is you want to eat.

If you thought he was annoying before he's even worse now. He doesn't really leave you alone, constantly fretting at you. He hates the sight of your cast only because he's upset at the mere thought of you being in pain. He doesn't leave you alone because he'd hate for you to need something and then him not be there for you. You're always within earshot of him post discharge and he doesn't really let you go anywhere without him hovering nearby. He'd blame himself if you got hurt trying to do something without him so he tries to make it so you don't need for anything.

Zayne is amazing to have to recover from surgery because he's also looking at you to make sure you recover well. If you get sent to the hospital he works at he'll come visit as soon as you're able to take visitors and he's able to step out. If you've got more questions he's also great at either answering them directly or going to get you answers.

When you get home if you feel funny or have questions about meds he's more than happy to assess as well, helping keep your nerves down if you've got some anxieties about being discharged. He'll also make sure to keep your medications on track and help you towards your full recovery.

Sylus is also going to put you either in a better hospital, or see if he can get you home to his own personal medbay because of course he has one. He also studies up a little more on your injury if he isn't already familiar enough with it so he can help streamline recovery as well. He keeps an eye on you and visits often before you're discharged, unable to do nights due to the nature of his work. However, that doesn't mean you can't reach him and if you'd like all you need to do is call him and he'll pick up or call back as soon as he can to keep you company.

He's going to carry you. Everywhere. He works out enough to make that feasible and if he can't, he'll just get to a point to where he can. He also does have a high tech wheelchair for you to use as well. He wants you to have a bit more mobility without him but he also does have Mephisto trailing you to make sure don't need him.

[milessunflowers]

photographer lando x model reader plsplsplssss 🥰🥰

-bear 🐻

BEAR, MY LOVE, YES 1000% (and i got the photo to work!!)

photographer!lando norris x gn!model!reader

synopsis: headcannons of meeting, falling in love with, and loving photographer!lando

author's note: we came up with the idea in dms over the adorable picture of lando with the camera and here we are now!

starts simple really

he is assigned to you for your first gig and his first gig professionally

you kind of just bond really well and go to every event/shoot together

you guys worked so well together no one even questioned it anymore

your shoots turned out ten times better than they did when lando wasn't your photographer

the entire shoot you guys are giggling and yapping so a good portion of the pictures have to be redone

they turn out incredible as always

nobody minds the constant giggles/yapping as long as you guys get the work done

which you do

it just takes you longer

no one complains though because the pictures bring in good profit so they pay you both reasonably well

he absolutely adores you so he puts even more effort into showing off how naturally stunning you are

of course, they still get edited because magazines you know

but like you are just amazing and he wants to show it off to people, and you guys, at this point, haven't even started dating yet

but when you do, it's ten times worse for everyone around you guys

because you are head over heels entirely in love and no one can stop it

always holding hands, always smiling, always talking

max f is happy for lando but man, lando is so much more gigglier than before

like giggling constantly everytime he sees a picture he took of you and gushes over you

or when you guys go on dates and he's still playing photographer because he wants to capture every single moment with you

you guys have like fifteen photo albums already

because even though you aren't typically behind the camera, you still want loads of memories of lando too

they aren't the best and lando teases you for it but you love them anyways

and there is so much pda, not like the hardcore stuff just hand holding and quick kisses here and there

like constantly holding hands

and he's even more giggling taking your photos now because he keeps thinking about how he gets to come home with such an amazing and stunning person

like he genuinely feels like the luckiest man alive

and you are absolutely the same way

when you look at the camera you focus on him, absolutely fawning over his smile and laugh and the little gap in his teeth

you also feel like the luckiest person alive

and all this because one random day yall were paired up

you couldn't ask for anything more

except maybe that he wasn't such a picky eater

always ordering the chicken strips 😔

TAGS! (if you want to be added lmk!)

@op-81-lvr-reblogs, @koalapastries, @justaf1girl, @ghostking4m, @spoonfulofmilo, @seonghwaexile, @alex-wotton, @raizelchrysanderoctavius

[nimbusclan]

Moon 6

[Previous] [Start] [Next]

Cold wind whistles through the rocks Moonstar and Fogfreckle are hunched under, bringing the crisp scents of first leaf-fall. With a shiver, Moonstar presses closer to Fogfreckle for warmth, but startles back as he lets out a pained hiss. She rests her gaze on her brother for a moment, eyeing the bristled, spiky fur of his pelt that sticks up around the cobwebs she did her best to wrap him with, stiff with dried blood.

The talon marks that are sunk into his back worry Moonstar. She wishes she had listened better when she was an apprentice, when their old medicine cat, Loudtalon, had been rambling on about herbs. She doesn’t want to try mixing a poultice for her brother in case she gets it wrong; she wouldn't even know where to begin. The most she can do is change his cobwebs when the blood starts to soak through and pray to StarClan that infection doesn’t set in.

She’s been doing her best to keep his wounds clean, but he’ll need new cobwebs soon. With a heavy sigh, she rises to her paws as much as the rocks crushing in around them will allow, her shoulders brushing the ceiling. Her ears have been pinned to her head for so long now that she thinks they may get stuck that way.

Moonstar moves towards Fogfreckle to give his ear an affectionate lick before she leaves, but he ducks away from her, wincing at the movement.

Moonstar halts and pulls back, chin wobbling.

Puffing her fur against the biting wind, unseasonable for this early in leaf-fall, she squeezes her way out of their makeshift den in search of three thing: cobwebs for her brother, fresh-kill for the both of them, and someplace they can finally call home.

With Fogfreckle injured, her search is limited.

Moonstar pads across the mountain, eyes sharp for the movement of prey but mind elsewhere. Before Fogfreckle was confined to his nest to heal from the eagle attack, they were constantly on the move. So far, they haven’t found anywhere that would make for a good camp. They’ve slept in abandoned dens, up in the branches of trees, tucked under scrubbly, thorny bushes – but a place big enough for two cats to sleep is nowhere near large enough for a camp.

They will rebuild NimbusClan. StarClan decreed it – StarClan chose her as leader. It has to be for something, she has to have something, some trait or destiny or something that StarClan can see that she can’t, or they wouldn’t have chosen her. Her stomach churns uncomfortably at the thought.

Her mind strays to worse thoughts, the sharp glide of golden wings slicing through the air a constant in her mind this past moon. She can’t shake how odd it was – sure, it’s not strange that a mother would want to protect her eggs – but the way it shifted its beady black glare from Moonstar to her brother seemed tainted with something more than just a mother’s protection.

With effort, she shakes the subject from her mind and sets to canvassing this section of mountain. She doesn’t want to stray too far from where Fogfreckle is, so she’s been going out in a different direction each day in the hopes she’ll find something suitable. Today, she pokes her head into a shaded clearing of pine trees, only to be met with the blinking eyes of several racoons peering through the needles – sniffs around the opening of a fox den that smells very clearly occupied (hurrying away as quickly and silently as her paws with allow) – and shrinks back into the shadows of a leafy bush when a pair of twolegs turn a corner onto a twolegtrail, speaking loudly in their foreign tongue and likely scaring away all the prey in the area.

She only manages to catch one meager mouse – but that’s fine, because it’s Fogfreckle’s favorite, and with a cobweb-coated twig cradled carefully between her teeth, she doesn’t think she’d be able to carry more than one piece of fresh-kill at the same time, anyways.

Fogfreckle stirs as she presses back into their den, her head angled awkwardly so she can get through with the stick clamped in her jaws. He glances at her as she pushes the mouse towards him, and then looks down at his paws as she sets to working clearing the old cobwebs from his fur. She tries to be gentle, but she’s no good at this medicine cat stuff. Fogfreckle grimaces the entire time and lets his mouse go cold, not sharing a single word with his sister as she rasps a tongue over his wounds, cleaning the dried blood from his fur.

Moonstar goes to sleep when she’s done, stomach rumbling, and tries not to cry.

[Previous] [Start] [Next]

[dreamwreaver]

it would honestly be funnier if the whole time Lucifer was convinced his daughter was also dating Alastor alongside Vaggie. Like Charlie didn't clarify things and Lucifer didn't want to assume she wasn't poly (because what if she was and he just didn't know right? They haven't talked much in years) so the entire half of the season just has Lucifer disapproving of his daughters "boyfriend" and Alastor doesn't even deny it he's just playing along

It'd make for a funny running joke ( it would never actually happen but it's fun to imagine)

Lucifer would never outright do Alastor the honor of acknowledging him as Charlie's boyfriend so he just keeps saying "that guy" or "your little pet" and even though the latter causes Alastor to seethe he gets his revenge by KNOWING what Lucifer is thinking he is to Charlie and is relishing every second of playing it up. He's touching Charlie CONSTANTLY, never in a way that's inappropriate but definitely in a way that's familiar. Close, even. Closer than he'd consider strictly platonic.

But luci's relationship with charlie is improving. He doesn't want to jeopardize that by telling her he hates her boyfriend. He remembers her teenage rebellious phase and not having his approval only means she's going to stick by him. Far better to just wait it out; either until Charlie wises up and dumps that loser or his relationship with his daughter is good enough to tell her what he really thinks.

Meanwhile Charlie is blissfully oblivious, happy that Alastor finally seems to be warming up to people. Vaggie is suspicious but aside from being somewhat creepy (which is baseline for him by now) he hasn't actually DONE anything so she can't touch him. Meanwhile folks like Mimzy and Rosie don't help with their innocuous comments about Charlie and Alastor. Angel absolutely has also figured it out along with husk but much like Alastor they enjoy the spectacle too much to clear anything up. Nifty is actively writing fanfic so she's no help. And much like her bestie Cherri is just like, "If she's really smart she's tapping that fuzzy ass"

Not what Lucifer wanted to hear in the slightest. And it just keeps spiraling. Vox attacks the hotel and puts Charlie in danger to get to Al? Or far worse he manages to get the drop on Alastor and threatens Charlie with the radio demon's safety? Katie killjoy is spreading gossip about them for ratings. Charlie remains oblivious to all of it until Lucifer finally resigns himself after idk Alastor risks his skin protecting Charlie directly and says,

"I'll never like him Charchar, but I guess if you love each other that much I can accept that prick as your boyfriend."

And Charlie's just like, "Have you... always thought he was my boyfriend?"

[fuck-customers]

Genuine question, how do I care less about my job? Warning this is long but this doesn't even include all the details.

I'm so fed up with my coworkers doing the same shit that was brought up in multiple meetings to not do, yet they still do it, and they seem to do it worse. Don't take longer than your time allowed from breaks. Both of them will take longer than their 15min and lunch break. Don't dissappear without saying something. Both still do this so when I'm stuck at the register calling out for someone who's not there cause they disappeared, I look like a dumbass. Don't go shopping while on the clock, and during our 15s we're on the clock. It was only the one girl who would do this constantly, walking off, leaving me alone upfront, shopping. But my other coworker decided she's gonna go shopping for plants for her friend while she's on the clock, not on a break, on a Tuesday morning which Tuesdays the phone line always blows up. Thus leaving me alone to fend for myself. I've brought up these things in meetings multiple times, and they STILL do it.

Those meetings are arranged by my boss, who knows well of my complaints, but my coworkers clearly don't care. Even the one manager above my boss knows that they leave me upfront and has seen it twice on the *same Sunday, a busy day, and has even told them that they need to be more cognizant of the front end and help out cause I'm drowning in customers and the phone ringing.

I do 90% of the shit required for the giftshop at work. I do the morning and night counts for the register, I water the plants in the parking lot, I water the plants in the atrium, I run the register, do deliveries and rentals and installs, water the orchids and African violettes, mist the airplants, water the ladybugs, help out customers, clean up messes. YET. I leave alone one area, the 2" area to either one of my coworkers, and I am *CONSTANTLY finding dead plants, either by rot, dried out, or somethin else. Half of that section, which the entirety of the 2" is only a quarter size of the atrium, at most, is succulents, cacti and sansevierias! Stuff that doesn't need watering that much!! But still my one coworker manages to over water them despite me and the other coworker telling her to stop watering them so much. Yet when I tell her she needs to water the moss ferns and calatheas more, she doesn't do jack shit to them. It's come to the point that even thou my boss says to keep all 2" stuff in one area, I've taken it upon myself to ignore that and put any and all 2" ferns in the atrium fern shelf, including moss ferns, so they actually get watered. And they're waaaay better in there. I haven't had to throw a SINGLE 2" fern away yet due to it being dead somehow. Even my one coworker, the guy, agrees that even thou boss said to keep 2" in one area, that I should probably keep them in the atrium.

I have to leave tasks alone for my coworkers to do them but even then they still don't do them!

Also, anythin goes wrong, *I'm the one who gets asked about it, even if my name was nowhere near it, even if I wasn't there that day!! I got asked why the coworker guy put a delivery on a Tuesday. We don't do deliveries Tuesday. He knows that. He's been working there longer than I have. It's literally written on the calender. The kicker, I wasn't even there that day. That was a rare Sunday or Saturday that I took off, so I wasn't even there to tell coworker to not put it on a Tuesday.

Anythin else that goes wrong, I'm the one they ask 'what happened' or have to fix it. I get in trouble for my mistakes but it seems like they don't get in trouble for theirs.

I am a hard worker and I am good at my job and I'm not a slacking ass. When I say I'm being left alone, it's not cause I'm new. I've been there for a year now, I know how to do all the things. It's cause I'm expected to do all the things. I get lines of customers upfront and zero help. We don't have barcodes so I have to manually type quantity and price in thr computer, which often requires me to leave the register, go around, write down all that, then type it in thr computer. Which takes quite a bit of time if they cart is jackshit full. It would be way easier if my coworkers followed the damn rule of one behind the register one saying prices. But no, that's too hard for them.

Even when I ask for the help, I still don't get it. Or when I tell them what I need, they still don't do it. Yet it's somehow my fault for not getting the help.

So, if they don't have to follow the rules, why should I? If they can't do the tasks, why should I? Because I'm the one who gets in trouble if the tasks don't get done. I can't even 'slack' cause it's somehow my fault.

Since my coworkers want to take longer than their allowed break times, so am I. Since they can't give me the courtesy to tell me when they leave the giftshop, I won't either. Since they don't wanna help me on the register. Oh, a spontaneous rush? Suddenly I conveniently don't notice nor are they actually asking me for help. Throw me to the wolves don't be surprised when I give them a taste of their own medicane. My boss one time even made a joke about there being a rush. I was watering the atrium so this was still in the morning. I hadn't noticed so by the time I was done the rush was gone. She made a joke that that was the least stressful rush I've been a part of, which I said 'yeah cause for once I wasn't in it', saying how I'm always in the rushes, which she makes some joke and I give her an annoyed look cause she knows I'm always in rushes with no help, which she had. She says oh don't take it personal it's a joke. Jokes are supposed to be funny. Mocking me that I do most of the work around here no help isn't funny.

TL;DR: How do I care less about my job despite me gettin in trouble for things that go wrong? I've brought my slacking coworkers up to my boss multiple times, nothings changed in the end. I want to do a good job cause I'm the type of person who is hard worker but if I slack too much, plants die then *I get in trouble. I'm constantly stressed and mad at my coworkers and rude customers and I get snappy, which still gets me in trouble.

Posted by admin Rodney

[belit0]

Shisui as a husband hcs?

Had fun with this one💫

Flirting is non-stop. Whether they’ve been married for a day or a decade doesn't matter. Shisui never lets up.

-Have I told you how stunning you look today, my love?

Household chores are an absolute disaster. He tries, he really does, but sometimes…

Cooking? Burns the rice.

Laundry? Forgets it in the water for hours.

Cleaning? Distracted halfway.

-Babe, I have a better idea... instead of all these dumb chores, how about I sit here and admire you?-

Cuddles at all times.

When she’s cooking? He’s wrapped around her from behind.

When she’s reading? He plops his head in her lap.

When she’s mad at him? - I know you’re furious, but wouldn’t it be easier to forgive me if we were snuggling?

Even in sleep, he is attached to her like a second skin.

Steals her stuff constantly.

Hairbrush? -Needed it.-

Snacks? -Thought we were sharing.-

Clothes? -You always look better in my shirts.-

Loves making her blush. If teasing were an Olympic sport, Shisui would have multiple gold medals.

-Babe, say that again, but slower. For science.-

Spontaneous dates all the time.

Midnight walks, rooftop stargazing, sneaky picnics in restricted areas— nothing is ever predictable.

-I found this place that reminded me of you. Perfect, breathtaking, completely unforgettable. Let’s go.-

Goes out of his way to make her laugh.

Fakes dramatic injuries just for her to check on him.

-I’m gravely wounded, wife... only... only a kiss! will heal me!-

Trips over absolutely nothing, then acts like it was intentional.

Does dumb impressions of Madara and Indra behind their backs just to hear her giggle.

Endless teasing.

-We could get out of bed, but why would we when staying in it is so much more fun?-

Loves testing her limits.

Enjoys seeing how flustered she gets, how much she can handle before she gives in.

Moves too close, touches just lightly enough, murmurs things in a low, knowing voice—just to watch her reaction.

-Ah... Did you just shiver? Interesting…-

A notorious menace when she’s trying to focus on something else.

Studying? He’s whispering in her ear.

Cooking? He’s nipping at her neck.

Talking to someone else? He’s tracing patterns on her skin absentmindedly.

-Oh, don’t mind me, I’m just here adoring my wife. Continue.-

However… he’s also the softest.

Holds her like she’s made of something sacred.

Knows exactly how to touch her; when to be playful, when to be slow, when to just… be.

Worships the ground she walks on.

EXTRA: as a father

Chaotic dad.

Is the fun parent but somehow still responsible.

Can make a crying baby stop wailing just by pulling a funny face.

-Shhh, Daddy’s got you—what? No, I’m not panicking! I’ve handled worse—wait, is she supposed to cry like that? (Y/N)?!-

Teaches them all the worst habits.

-If you want extra dessert, just give your mother this look.-

But also the most loving.

-Do you know how much Daddy loves you? No? Let me count the ways—actually, never mind, it’s infinite.-

[xxbrightshadowxx]

Hello. I will not lie, this is very impressive. You break down information and your response is effective. It’s organized, you get your point through very thoroughly. You also did it without insulting me which is a lot more than some tumblr users and TikTok users could do for me. You’re right it’s clear you and I are on opposite ends of how we felt about Caitlyn in season 2. Some of your points did change some of my thinking towards Caitlyn and some I still have the same feelings to.

You’re right Caitlyn was not in the right headspace when she went against Jinx and has a lot of PTSD from her so she wasn’t in the best of mind when she hit her. I’ll agree with that. For your point that Caitlyn apologized to Vi through her actions I have to disagree with that. That’s because the show never truly acknowledges Caitlyn leaving or hitting Vi. Her saving Vander, she does get a point for that however her running to Vi when she was injured instead of Jink just shows she still cares about her not that she’s necessarily sorry. Her keeping Jinx in the bunker rather than Stillwater, and holding off on any judgement until Vi is awake isn’t shown to be Caitlyn doing that because she wants to apologize to Vi. Her letting Vi free Jinx, while that could show she’s apologizing and making amends, it falls flat because Jinx leaves Vi so it doesn’t feel as effective, at least for me.

As for the gray and Ambessa’s manipulation: I also disagree with. Ambessa, while she did orchestra the attack at the funeral and put Caitlyn in charge, Caitlyn chose to use the gray on Zaun. The gray is a gas. That is what I meant by nuclear/chemical warfare(should’ve been more specific, sorry) You cannot control a gas once it’s released. And the gray isn’t just a tear gas or anything it is a life ending gas that could kill people. We learn this from Viktor who was dying from it in season 1. And the excuse that it was Chembarons they were using it on doesn’t help it. It does not matter if the chembarons weren’t good people and were criminals. They were still people. You mentioned the deleted scenes that make Caitlyn look better and I actually haven’t seen them. I’ll look into them when I’m less busy. But you mentioned deleted scenes and how there are no proven longer term effects to such a ‘short’ amount. There is a deleted scene of Ekko bringing people to the firelight base, people that aren’t one of the chembarons that were coughing from the gray. People who weren’t chembarons were also affected by the gray. But then again, it was a deleted scenes so it is a weak rebuttal since it wasn’t actually in the show. You are right, the show doesn’t glorify the gassing but it doesn’t ever acknowledge the event after it happens. No one calls out Caitlyn on the morality of using the gray or the effects it could have on the people. She doesn’t get consequences for gassing people or hurting Vi. The show doesn’t even mention the hit again after it happens. When Vi does call her out, it’s not for her attacks on Zaun. It’s for listening to Ambessa.

About Jinx, Sevika, and Silco. I do believe you simplify their actions. I do give Jinx more slack because she is a product of Piltover’s neglect and oppression. Don’t get me wrong, she’s crazy and very violent. But all her issues stem from Piltover’s abuse Enforcers killed her parents during whah seemed to be a protest against Piltover. Silco did affect her and made her who she was but he wouldn’t have done that if he wasn’t already affected by Piltover. yes, Silco is awful. He wants more than anything to get revenge on Topside rather than freedom for Zaun which causes him to do things that hurt his own people without remorse. But the only reason he was the way he was from resentment for Piltover constantly treating them like crap as stated before in season 1. His resentment overtook his want for freedom for his people and it turned him for the worse. If Topside treated Zaun better, Silco would’ve never become the monster he was. And as for Sevika, it’s implied she’s also a product of Piltover’s neglect. The reason why the killed Vander is because Vander was bending to Piltover’s will. He might’ve stopped the enforcers going down there but Zaun was still fighting for scraps, they were still treated as less and Vi calls him out for it. Im not saying them attacking and trying to kill the kids makes it right. But what I am saying is if you want to say Caitlyn is complex then you have to admit that Silco, Sevika, and Jinx are as well. Caitlyn, she gets consequences for going against Ambessa by her injuries but she doesn’t get consequences for hurting Vi or gassing Zaun. Also, it’s not that I only love Caitlyn when she isn’t affected by the things she went through. It’s just that I don’t love how the writers handled the direction her character went through even though I think they could’ve made it work with their vision. As a tumblr user I like said: ‘they wanted the aesthetic of a person gone down the wrong path while still making them seem good in their eyes’.

To finish this long reply, you make great points in the defense of Caitlyn, some making me take on a new perspective. there is so much more I most likely missed or counterpoints you might have for me. I also plan to read through your analysis posts to see how you interpreted them. If you do and want to rebuttal I’d be interested to see what you have to say as long as you stay respectful to me and I’ll do the same for you.

Let's Chat: Caitlyn Kiramman

**DISCUSSION AND RESPONSE TO ARCANE SO SPOLIER WARNING**

**LONG POST NOT KIDDING**

@xxbrightshadowxx

Happy March Third to you my fellow Arcane fan. It is quite obvious to anyone with a pulse that we are on far opposite ends of the spectrum of the fandom. That being said, you have made a fairly large amount of posts I've considered responding to, and I find this a much cleaner way of responding than all this re-blogging and commenting nonsense.

As it is clearly an issue for you, and I feel quite differently, we are gonna talk Caitlyn Kiramman. And as you identify yourself as "the biggest hater" I feel confident you won't mind a bit of friendly discourse. Since there is no efficient way to respond to multiple posts in one re-blog, each title in bold blue lettering will link directly to your post in question.

Recent Post Regarding Caitlyn Stans

So this of course is your most recent post I believe:

"I think the thing I hate the most about Caitlyn is her stans"

I don't have too much to say here as you are entitled to your opinions and this post is really just that. You don't feel Caitlyn was well executed as a morally grey character, you don't feel Caitlyn fans admit her mistakes, that is all within your rights. Really the only thing I will say is that as a fan of Caitlyn's character and of she and Vi's relationship, it has become increasingly difficult to spend any time discussing her wrong-doing with any detail or nuance, because so much of the rhetoric around her is completely out of control and false.

Comparing Violence In Timebomb VS Violence In Caitvi

So in this post you are comparing your criticism of violence between Ekko and Jinx during their fight on the bridge, against your criticism of violence between Caitlyn and Vi after fight against Jinx & Sevika. Speaking for myself, I am not sure why anyone would be comparing these incidents at all. They are totally different. However, I wanted to point something regarding your approach to this post.

Let's look at the amount of detail and context you include regarding Ekko & Jinx:

"Ekko and Jinx were on opposite sides of a conflict"- You go on to elaborate and explain well.

"Jinx was already known at that time to kill firelights, why would they like eachother? (for sake of honesty you wrote "why would they not" but I feel like the typo and your meaning was very clear, happens to me all the time) And with the situation on the bridge, Jinx killed a lot of enforcers. they were already in a situation of violence".

"They weren't in a romantic relationship".

"They weren't on good terms".

This is well done. You give their current status with each-other, the context for the immediate events that lead them here, a bit of their history and so on. Hardly a deep dive, but I feel like I have a good sense of where Jinx and Ekko are as characters in relation to each other.

Now let's look at your depiction of the leadup to the incident between Caitlyn & Vi:

"They kiss which basically establishes they like each other a lot"

"They were on good terms with each-other and were allies".

"They were working together to take down Jinx".

Okay all good so far I agree to each point even if we are not discussing of the complexity of what is going on between them. I cannot disagree with any of these points. But. Now we get into your list of circumstances leading to Caitlyn hitting Vi:

"Vi stops Caitlyn from shooting at Jinx when there was a moving child on top of her because shooting a weapon when there is a child nearby especially if said shooter is not in the best mindset is not a good idea".

"They (Sevika, Caitlyn and Isha) escape". (Clearly you meant Jinx, no harm no foul)

"Caitlyn insults Vi by saying she's just like the rest of Zaun and isn't different (which is also very ignorant by implying that the norm is bad and evil Zaunites and Vi is some exception to this norm) also saying it's her (Jinx) blood in your veins".

"She walks away and Vi grabs Caitlyn and asks why are you the one acting like her".

"Eight seconds pass before Caitlyn hits Vi in the stomach with her gun, before leaving her alone".

You then give your wrap-up comments regarding the incident:

Recap that they were on good terms and kissed before the fight

"The Violence had already wound down"- You elaborate on Jinx and friends already being gone and that it was no longer life or death.

You make a point showing Vi wasn't going to hit Caitlyn, elaborating that it was not a fight, but assault

"The show never acknowledges this"

"Caitlyn never apologizes for hitting Vi or leaving her. They just move straight to sex"

RESPONSE:

Alrighty. so in summary, you have presented the incident between Caitlyn and Vi as something like this-

A happy couple working together to catch Jinx get into a fight with Jinx and Sevika. Vi stops Caitlyn from shooting because it endangered a kid. So Caitlyn insults Vi, shows anti-zaun prejudice, then assaults Vi for no reason.

There are several things I'd say matter regarding this incident going into it that you did not mention. And while their exclusion does paint Caitlyn as a mean and spoiled rich girl who assaulted Vi for not getting what she wanted, it is incorrect in its entirety.

Caitlyn's Mental State-

I feel it is only reasonable to consider the impact of the long and unmentioned list of violent trauma Caitlyn has experienced over a very short period leading to this incident. After all, when we discuss the incident and its aftermath how could such things not matter? To that end, fortunately I recently prepared a time-stamped list of the relevant information on another post that covers all of the traumatic incidents needed-

Lured along with several other Enforcers to a burning building with a fake child's voice by Jinx shortly before she blows it up. She is the only survivor: S1 E4 13:29- Sequence begins

Shoots Sevika repeatedly to save Vi's life. More than likely the first time she has ever discharged her weapon at a living person. It doesn't matter the reason or justification, violence impacts you emotionally. S1 E5 5:28- Sequence begins

Survives escaping Silco and his addict/goons deep in the undercity including dodging a collapsing building. S1 E6 13:16- Sequence begins

Meets Jinx for the first time. Has weapon pointed at her. Then survives fight with Firelights. S1 E6 7:05- Sequence begins

Leader of The Enforcers shoots Ekko, and is about to shoot her while several of her peers stand and watch. Shortly after Jinx blows up the bridge, killing almost everyone, then attacks Caitlyn & Vi both intentionally trying to kill them.S1 E7 10:41- Sequence begins

Kidnapped by Jinx from the shower of her childhood home. She is nude at the time. At some point Jinx makes her dress in Enforcer uniform. S1 E8 4:35- Sequence begins *It seems like recent sources from the artbook confirm Jinx held Caitlyn for an entire day but I don't have that in front of me to confirm so we can call it speculation*

She is held bound and gagged and forced to participate in Jinx's Dinner Party: S1 E9 12:55- Sequence begins

- Listens to Jinx try and convince Vi to murder her - Manages to get free and has a gun on Jinx. Spares her at Vi's urging and gets knocked out - Jinx kills Caitlyn's mother, two other councilors, maims 2 others, and destroys the council chamber

8. Survives attack on her mother and other councilor's memorial by Zaun: S2 E1 16:26- Sequence begins

9. Survives operation of Task Force into Zaun: S2 E3 beginning of episode:

Now I know what you are probably thinking. But As I said earlier we need to remember that violence leaves a mark on you. We aren't talking fault or any of that right now. I'm just talking what state of mind is she in. So I'm sure reasonably you can see how at the very least a few days of urban combat would be raising her stress, aggression, fear and all of that.

10. Survives events of Ventilation chamber: S2 E3 18:51 sequence begins

- Survives fight with Sevika - After holding her shot for Vi the first time, Vi blocks her shot the second time and she is denied what she sees as justice (again, just suspend judgement and try to only think of impact on her state of mind)

That, is a tremendous amount of violence and death in a relatively short amount of time. Now, I don't know about you. But to me, that all seems like it may impact a persons behavior and decision making until they have time to heal and to grieve properly.

Conclusion- Mentally and emotionally Caitlyn is totally destroyed having had no time or opportunity to heal from a long series of violent, destabilizing, and immensely traumatic events.

Caitlyn & Jinx-

So the last list was more comprehensive, but we also need to discuss Caitlyn & Jinx. Why? I mean Jinx is what this all boils down to. She's the monster in Caitlyn's mind. She discusses it with Jayce, and we see it when the strike team attacks the arcade and Caitlyn shoots at what she thinks is Jinx in a wide-eyed and manic state. I'm not going to re-list everything but just think about it.

Jinx has almost killed Caitlyn repeatedly, she killed several Enforcers Caitlyn knew as people. She abducted Caitlyn naked from her home. Caitlyn spared her and Jinx killed her mother. Hate Caitlyn, call her every name in the book, label her anything you please. But if you are discussing and acting in good faith, these facts are not in dispute.

Conclusion- Caitlyn is going into this facing down someone she is very likely terrified of, and hates with all of her heart.

Caitlyn & Vi-

As you correctly point out Caitlyn and Vi are romantically linked and working together in their pursuit of Jinx. However, there is some helpful context when analyzing this situation I think should be considered:

Jinx is Vi's little sister.

Caitlyn had Jinx at gun point and did not fire because Vi begged her. Then Jinx killed her mother.

Caitlyn asked Vi to wear the enforcer badge being honest about her fear, and Vi said yes willingly. But the Enforcers still killed Vi's parents.

Before their first kiss that you mention, we see Caitlyn being uncharacteristically aggressive with an unarmed Heenot. It is bad enough to the point that Vi takes her aside and after asking to dismiss the other team members, tearfully asks Caitlyn to promise she won't change.

Vi tells to Caitlyn she is ready for it all to end, and tells Caitlyn to take the shot if she gets the chance.

Conclusion- Caitlyn and Vi go after Jinx with the both of them knowing Vi begged Caitlyn to show mercy and now Caitlyn's mother is dead, and that Vi is wearing the badge of her parents killers to try and make things right. Caitlyn is clearly losing herself to the violence and anger of everything going on, and before the confrontation Vi tells Caitlyn she knows it has to end. Not exactly simple or casual.

The Incident Itself:

So the fight goes down, and as you said it eventually comes down to Caitlyn demanding that Vi move while Vi refused to do so due to the danger to Isha. You do make a point of mentioning the shooter (Caitlyn) not being in the best mental state (which I think we have established is like saying its a tad windy in the middle of a tornado), and then we move to the aftermath where it goes down like you describe:

Caitlyn is upset with Vi for blocking the shot

Vi insists she shouldn't have had to stop Caitlyn due to the danger to the child

Caitlyn states that she thought Vi was different but she isn't. "It's her blood in your veins":

Stopping here for a moment. This was not a statement of prejudice against Zaun. She is comparing Vi to Jinx, not all of the Undercity. I can back this up with the following points:

The entire quote (S2 E3 begins 10:47) "I keep telling myself that you're different. But you're not. It's her blood in your veins".

This is quite clearly one continuing statement from Caitlyn. She specifically compares Vi to Jinx. Not to Zaunites or anyone else. Just Jinx.

Vi then responds (S2 E3 10:39) "Then why are you the one acting like her?".

This entire thing is all centered around Jinx in the dialogue and obviously linked narratively. It isn't about Zaunites in general.

4. I covered Vi's response above so from there, Vi grabs Caitlyn as she is leaving, shifts her grip to a less aggressive place, then after several seconds Caitlyn hits her.

5. Caitlyn shows clear regret before leaving:

Overall conclusion for the incident itself:

As I said, this is the overall picture you give of this incident with the amount of context and detail you included:

A happy couple working together to catch Jinx get into a fight with Jinx and Sevika. Vi stops Caitlyn from shooting because it endangered a kid. So Caitlyn insults Vi, shows anti-zaun prejudice, then assaults Vi for no reason.

But when you actually take the entire picture into account, this wildly differs from the actual events of the show.

Caitlyn is dealing with ENORMOUS amount of unresolved trauma

Jinx is the central focus of Caitlyn's rage and fear

Vi and Caitlyn care for each-other deeply, but between them is:

A- Vi being Jinx's older sister B- Vi begged Caitlyn for Jinx's life and Jinx killed Caitlyn's mother C- Enforcers killed Vi's parents and Caitlyn asked her to put on the badge D- Their first kiss is in the wake of Vi being afraid of how Caitlyn is changing from all of the violence and death around them

Caitlyn is clearly out of control when Vi is trying to stop her from shooting-

A- Caitlyn fires twice with Vi in the way even striking her gauntlet once B- Caitlyn just keeps saying the same thing over and over "Move.. She's not getting away again!"

As far as the dialogue only goes they both say something terrible in the aftermath-

A- Caitlyn tells Vi she is no different than Jinx. Knowing the guilt and horror Vi feels over what her sister has become. The guilt over Caitlyn's mother. And that Vi put on the badge to follow her on this mission. B- Vi tells Caitlyn she is acting like Jinx. Knowing full well Jinx almost killed Caitlyn repeatedly. Abducted her. And killed her mother

Not that it excuses or makes it okay. But Caitlyn shows clear remorse after hitting Vi.

Wrap Up:

Please understand, this is not about saying it was okay for Caitlyn to hit Vi. Far from. But as I said in response to that first post, we can't even get to that because of situations like this. The unfortunately simplistic version of events you provided completely misrepresents what actually occurred. It isn't about justification. Caitlyn hitting Vi cannot be justified. But it is about proper understanding based on what actually occurred. And not excluding or simplifying things to serve the purpose of demonizing her beyond what is reasonable. Let's take a look at your wrap up points-

1. Recap that they were on good terms and kissed before the fight Caitlyn growing steadily more angry and violent while dynamic between she and Vi was extremely complex 2. "The Violence had already wound down"- You elaborate on Jinx and friends already being gone and that it was no longer life or death. True the fight was over. But Caitlyn was still operating at a ten emotionally and mentally, it takes time for you to come down from that state.

3. You make a point showing Vi wasn't going to hit Caitlyn, elaborating that it was not a fight, but assault

Totally agree, not sure where this is coming from, I guess some people have suggested it or something?

4. "The show never acknowledges this"

Just because you don't consider it enough doesn't mean it didn't happen 5. "Caitlyn never apologizes for hitting Vi or leaving her. They just move straight to sex"

Caitlyn makes amends repeatedly through her deeds rather than her words:

Helps to save Vander

When Vi is wounded and Jinx is exposed she doesn't even look at Jinx, runs to save Vi instead

Keeps Jinx in the bunker rather than Stillwater, and holds off on any judgement until Vi is awake even though she could have taken her revenge and no one in Piltover would have cared

Moves the guards away so Vi can free Jinx if she chooses. Even knowing Vi may leave and Caitlyn would never see her again

*VI initiated their sex scene. Caitlyn even interrupted to make sure she was honest about Maddie*

Your last line asks the following question: "You see why this leaves a bad impression?"

My answer is yes. But it is one born of a gross over-simplification of the events leading to this moment and exclusion of anything challenging the clear anti-Caitlyn bias in your writing.

Comparing Season One Caitlyn Against Season Two

Alrighty last one I promise. So this whole post comparing your feelings about Caitlyn in season 1 to season 2. Fairly cut and dry in terms of concept. Lets look at some things you acknowledge about Caitlyn in season 1:

"Shes genuine. I never once doubted in season 1 that she had good intentions"

"She believed in justice and was ignorant to the system that pushes her family forward while pushing others down and when she's confronted with this she's defensive about it"

"Her arc is learning about the oppression the system Piltover installed was bad and wanted change to help those in the undercity"

You then acknowledge her arc did not complete in season one and that you and many others expectation was to see she and Vi forge a new path for Piltover. So lets look at your observations regarding Caitlyn in season two:

"Caitlyn looses her mom and bam, facism and dictatorship!"

"We can't let the privileged girl face consequences!"

"Grief is not an excuse for what she did"

"She gassed and used nuclear warfare against the defenseless in Zaun"

"What she and Jinx did were two different things" you clarify below:

- "Jinx did what she did because of the oppression of Topside. Everything happened because of the class problems of Piltover" - "But Caitlyn? Yes loosing a parent figure is bad, but Caitlyn proved that those were anti topside: Jinx, Sevika, and Silco were right. The police brutality, the abuse of power, the gassing the city, everything".

6. "She gets no consequences. No, her loosing an eye wasn't a consequence for her becoming a dictator. That happened because she betrayed Ambessa. And even if it was, loosing an eye is not equal to what she did. Caitlyn got to walk away scot free. She got to go back to her mansion with Vi"

Response:

Okay, first off lets get this clarified. What you observed about the hard swing in Caitlyn's trajectory was correct. It was also the point. We already listed the long list of things that happen to Caitlyn piling up higher and higher that lead to her breaking point. Then this happens. So yes, her season two arc swings hard from what we were expecting. I suspect if you were almost murdered repeatedly, abducted, spared the woman who did those things and then watched her kill your mother you might also have some chaotic emotions and mental health for a while.

Now to keep things simple lets just go point by point, so my number 1 corresponds with your number 1 regarding season 2. Pretty simple.

1. Well as we have stated now in full and fleshed out detail there is immensely more to it than losing her mother. You make no mention of the manipulations and actions of Ambessa Medarda in Caitlyn's arc but I'm not detailing all of that. This is already too long. I'll link those docs at the end should you want to read them. It should also be noted Caitlyn is neither a fascist or a dictator. The elite of Piltover agree to declare Martial Law, and they agree to Caitlyn as commander. We can do the whole technical definition of both if you really need me to but I don't think that's needed right now. 2. Caitlyn faces a variety of consequences but you repeat yourself so I'll say more for number 6

3. Agreed. Grief is no excuse. As we have now shown conclusively, it goes so far beyond just grief. But also as we have discussed it is not about excusing anything. It is about understanding. And there can be no understanding as long as we are unwilling to look at her story honestly.

4. Regarding the nuclear warfare comment I apologize. I'm not meaning to be rude, but I have absolutely no clue what you are referencing and therefore cannot give that a thorough response. Regarding the gas, no she didn't. They used The Grey targeting the chem-barons and their soldiers. This was confirmed by Amanda Overton (who I know many of you disregard, but she was one of the creators like it or not), and there is no evidence to the contrary. This does include clearing the area of civilians to keep them out of the fighting. While it is true anything gas based cannot be absolutely contained, there is a tremendous difference between being specific and controlled in their use, versus just letting it loose all over. The imagery showing people running in the streets is from two sources: A- Cassandra Kiramman's files when Caitlyn is learning about The Grey: It's clearly old, with a faded old parchment sort of look to it. The building and the clothes are all different as well. B- The hellfire video- Let's actually look at this:

"We used The Grey to clear the streets! To keep people safe!"

Sound familiar? That's what Vi tells Jinx. You may notice those people are up, and running. They aren't on their backs choking. They are hunting armed criminals with access to Shimmer, and a terrorist who likes to blow things up. Clearing the area seems prudent.

And in case you have seen any of those posts regarding the "scenes they deleted to make Caitlyn look better" Hellfire isn't a pro-Caitlyn propaganda moment in the show. They aren't glamorizing her here. Look at some of the lyrics:

Can I do the right thing for the wrong reason? Is it bad that I'm making friends with my demons, and Living by a couple deadly sins Just to make sure I finish what you began

Does it seem like they are portraying this as a good thing? No. This whole sequence is Caitlyn losing herself. Giving in more to her rage and her pain and surrendering her values in the pursuit of "justice". But lying and exaggerating don't help anything. They only divert attention away from the true meaning of the narrative.

And before we move on lets just get this out of the way. There is no evidence that short term exposure to The Grey harms anyone long term. While there is an abundance of evidence to suggest it does not. We can speculate til the cows come home about what might happen. But at the end of the day this is fiction, and The Grey does not exist. What's accurate is what we are shown is accurate.

5. Well as we have discussed repeatedly Caitlyn's motivations are immensely more complicated and involved than grief over her mother.

Regarding Jinx, this is it's own topic and one I've written on fairly recently. I'll link that here as well. But let's take a quick look here at her actions regardless of motivation:

Lit a building on fire, lured in several enforcers including Caitlyn using a fake child's voice and then blew it up to steal hex tech. Killed everyone but Caitlyn.

Killed countless Firelights.

Attacked the bridge killing several people (Marcus and clearly proven corrupt Enforcers no big loss) but then attacked and actively tried to kill Caitlyn and Vi.

Blew herself up and almost killed Ekko after he stopped fighting

Abducted Caitlyn nude from her home, dressed her in her Enforcer uniform, held her close to a day.

Bound and gagged Caitlyn and made her listen while Jinx tried to convince Vi to murder her.

After Caitlyn spared her life, Jinx knocked her out. She then proceeded to kill Caitlyn's mother, two other councilors, main 2 more, injure at least Viktor and I'm sure other's we don't see, and destroy the chamber. The fall out of this attack opens the door for Piltover retaliation bringing it down on Zaun.

Unleashes The Grey all over Piltover.

If you want to give Jinx a free pass for all of that because of Piltover, I'm afraid you and I cannot agree.

Regarding proving Silco and Sevika right. These supposed champions of Zaun:

Directly and intentionally killed Vander, Grayson and Benzo

Caused the deaths of Mylo and Claggor by taking Vander

Tried to kill Vi

Silco was quite possibly about to kill Powder before she hugged him

They unleash Shimmer on their people. A proven dangerous, addictive drug that mutates its users and can turn them into monsters.

"anti-topside" Silco pays corrupt top-side cops to hunt and kill Firelights for opposing him

Regarding Silco: He promised Jinx and Vi's mother to make a safer Zaun for the then unborn Vi. He tried to kill Vi on the steps of Felicia and Conal's dilapidated home, using destitute Zaunites hooked on the drug he flooded the lanes with.

Regarding Sevika: She knew those kids the entire time they were with Vander. As stated, she plays a part in Vander's death leading to the deaths of Mylo and Claggor, tries to kill Vi repeatedly, and even though she helped orphan Jinx the second time she clearly and intentionally messes with her head in hopes Silco will cast Jinx out.

6. Regarding formal consequences, such as the law or something. As stated Martial Law and by extension Caitlyn was all agreed to by the Piltover elite and totally lawful within the bounds of this universe. Caitlyn's actions didn't actually violate real-world standards either (I've checked) but it's important to remember this isn't the real world. She can't be held to account for violating the Geneva convention in a world with no Geneva.

Regarding consequences in the story she absolutely did. We only see her for a brief moment after defeating Ambessa but her injuries were horrendous. With her power and resources, Caitlyn could have fled if she chose. No one could make her fight. Instead she fought on the front line and faced Ambessa, and sacrificed her eye, and almost her life. And that is to say nothing of the immense mental/emotional trauma of everything that has occurred.

If you aren't counting any of that because she chose to take that risk, I'll say this.

How did we reach the point where someone subjecting themselves to harm to make things right, isn't as righteous as watching them be forced to? It sounds to me like you loved Caitlyn as long as she wasn't affected by anything she went through.

WRAP UP:

This is insanely long. I do apologize for that but I knew it was going to be going in. Responding to multiple posts in one just comes out that way. I totally understand if you just TLDR and move on with your life. But if you do respond , I look forward to your thoughts.

Below as promised I will link my docs reference to the manipulations of Ambessa Medarda and Maddie Nolan on Caitlyn, as well as my recent post regarding Jinx and her motivations. Thank you.

Ambessa Medarda's Manipulation & Control

Maddie Nolan's Manipulation & Control

Jinx was never fighting her oppressor

[sea-buns]

Riz technically hasn't even finished his downtime but I mean. You know he's not rolling relaxation. Even if he tried for the hell of it, that DC would be insane. And even if he hit a nat20, I don't know if if would make sense for him to be able to relax? I can see the scenario where maybe he drops one token, but he's doing so much atm that I think narratively it makes more sense that he'd be keyed up until it's all over. I would like for him to try. I think if Riz gets taken over by rage we are deadass fucked. It would be bad if Kristen or Fig were corrupted. But among the boys who are actively at risk right now, all three could do some serious damage to the party, but Riz has been their guiding compass. And if he's compromised it's gonna be rough for the group to reorient themselves without him.

[callofthecorvus]

Connected Timelines Ramble: Backing off my previous 'Geno has an ex' headcanon, what if Dust happened to be that ex? I can see them bonding over shared trauma: surviving a genocided timeline and losing their brothers.

So when Dust eventually came clean about his past, that he genocided his own timeline [and others under Nightmare], even if he felt guilty and wanted to change, the heartbreak and betrayal Geno would have felt was devastating.

Even if it was originally done to stop Chara, the fact that he continued to genocide other timelines was despicable in Geno's eyes. Dust became the very same person he hated, and all Geno could see when looking at Dust was her. He broke it off instantly and Dust respected his decision and never contacted him again.

Given that Nightmare and Dream have now been at peace for decades, they're often invited to the same get togethers. They've never told anyone else about their previous relationship, so they act all awkward around each other and nobody knows why.

[ranticore]

Then, why did Breakneck pick him anyways? 👀

a combination of teenage rebelliousness and just liking the guy's vibes a lot. matriarch says no, immediately making that option a million times more tempting

[trainerethan]

In my imagination of red and leaf being twins and both autistic I think the only reason leaf doesn't have the same totally blank 😐 face as red is because she did the age old classic of practicing facial expressions in the mirror every day until she learned the basic ones. She also made her default expression a smile 🙂 to seem more approachable.

Unfortunately since the expressions don't come naturally to her and she had to learn them, the can come off as exaggerated/overly dramatic. Which is fine for some people but others find it equally as off-putting as reds poker face. It makes her a little sad when people dislike her because of it bc shes doing her best to fit in but can't seem to get it right.

She puts a lot of effort into masking at least when she's a kid-teenager but once she's older and has made more solid friendships she can let herself relax and not need to stress about it so much, although in social situations she may still slip back into old habits.

Red does not mask and never really has. I choose 2 believe his mom was really supportive and accommodating so he wasn't forced to hide his autistic traits unlike leaf. This is because in my au they are twins but their parents split and leaf had to stay with their dad. Who is not as understanding as their mom.

Idk if he'd be actually horrible to her but he was not as patient or understanding as their mom + leaf also just craved more friends and wanted to be able to socialize more so she eventually learned how. Red is content with the 4 people he knows (mom, oak, daisy, green) and prefered to mostly be alone so he didn't have that motivating factor to do it.

He was very content with having one friend, green, but he was def lonley during their "rival" phase when green stopped hanging out with him and was focused on trying to prove himself in some way only he understood or worried about. Along with that is green also being the master of masking for the most part. I don't see oak as being particularly accommodating and patient with him so while Daisy probably was, she's also not a parent so she couldn't be responsible for caring for green the way oak should've been.

As they got older green also craved to be seen as cool and popular amongst his peers so he started masking heavily and also distanced himself from red. Unfortunately he realizes that being accepted for a fake version of himself by mainly strangers is actually very lonley and he misses their friendship 😢 but atp he probably figures red wouldn't wanna be friends again bc of how green ignored him for so long so I think they don't become close again until After the gym challenge "rivalry"/red dissapearing/reuniting years later. So they were both missing each other a lot but both felt unable to reach out bc of the distance that grew between them when green pulled away. Anyways tldr green pro masker leaf trying very hard to mask but struggling a bit and red rawdogging his autism never masked a day in his life.

[skitskatdacat63]

I literally can't stop thinking about this sequence of pictures, actually completely brainrotting me

[ruethrills]

Was thinking about them today (the precursor to my Sydcarmy fixation) and how what happened to them was a crime so Ima need Chris Storer to let me have this one thing 😭

[an-assortment-of-forks]

there are doctors there are hospitals there are specialists there is medicine there are systems in place so people do not have to suffer and be tortured under their own chronic pain daily and yet. they're all fucking inaccessible to the people who need it most!!! to what I would argue is most disabled people!! I'm so fucking done with the medical system.