#he is neutered so he can't actually spray

[arvadthecursed]

my heart just melts whenever I get home and Buggie runs up and does his little spray-and-stomp routine. he loves me.... 🥺♥️

[apomaro-mellow]

Wrong Number 7

They had decided to meet around five, and that was when Steve and Robin drove up to the building where Eddie worked. This was it. He was going to see him face to face. He was going to be able to touch him. And feel him. He was going to be able to kiss him. It was all really happening.

He parked across the street and got out. Robin came over to his side and pulled at his sleeve.

"Is that your man?"

Steve locked the car and looked up to see Eddie, standing by the entryway, staring intensely at his phone, probably waiting for a message from Steve to tell him he had arrived. As if pulled by a magnet, his gaze lifted up and his beamed when he saw Steve.

And then he ran across the street without looking.

"Eddie!", Steve shouted when a car stopped short to not hit him but Eddie paid it no mind.

"I'm comin' babe!", Eddie exclaimed, completely missing the point.

Steve found it hard to be mad at him when Eddie was crushing him in his arms and then pinning him against his car and kissing him like he'd just come back from a war. Steve's first thought was to finally touch that hair and feel it curl around his fingers like it wanted to hold him just as close.

Eddie's tongue pushed into his mouth and Steve let it slide in easily. This was the man he'd been talking to for weeks. The man who had been the star of his fantasies for nights since the first time he ever saw his face. Eddie's hands dug into his hips and Steve could feel his rings digging in and Eddie's hips were flush with his own and-

"Okay, okay! I don't have an actual spray bottle but please stop! We're in public!", Robin pleaded.

Eddie, sweet sweet Eddie, pulled away because he didn't know Robin well enough. Steve knew her very well though and grabbed Eddie's face to bring him back in for another kiss. And another. And another. And THEN Robin started pelting Steve with something hard. He finally came up for air to see that she was attacking him with tic-tacs.

"Heel! Down boy!", Robin yelled. "I shoulda had you neutered a long time ago."

Eddie chuckled and pulled back completely, hands in the air in surrender. "Didn't mean to attack your purebred. You know how us mutts are."

Steve was listening. He was definitely listening. But he was also looking Eddie up and down in three dimensions.

"Hey Steve, got anything to say about crossing the street without looking both ways?", Robin pointed out.

"Yeah!", Steve said, brain slowly catching up. "Uh, don't! I can't make out with you if you're roadkill."

"I'll keep that in mind, baby." Eddie grabbed his hand and pulled him to his side, putting an arm around his waist.

Giddy with joy, Steve turned to Robin and mouthed at her, 'I'm baby'.

Robin rolled her eyes as they crossed the street (safely) and went inside. Her eyes got big as she took it all in.

"Steve! They've got knives! Vickie loves knives!"

"What happened to Chrissy?", Steve asked.

"I'm in high demand", Robin grinned as she checked out the wall of axes.

Eddie introduced Robin to one of his co-workers and friends who was going to help her through her lesson. To his credit, Jeff only looked slightly worried about how interested in sharp things she was. Eddie led Steve two lanes over so that they could have a bit of privacy. Well, as much as one could in a warehouse space where people were throwing axes.

Someone was playing music though, meaning their voices didn't carry and they were in their own little world. Which was just as well because Steve didn't think he could focus on much else watching the way Eddie handled an axe. He could hear Robin's voice in his head cracking wise at the whole 'being sexy with a phallic object' but Steve didn't even think Eddie was doing it on purpose.

He was literally just demonstrating on to use it but he was also showboating, lofting the axe in the air while standing in the lane. He had given Steve strict instructions not to pass a certain line and Steve wasn't looking to get his head lopped off so soon.

"Think you're ready to try?", Eddie asked.

Steve nodded and Eddie handed him an axe, handle first and then got out of the way to watch him from the side. Steve wound up and tossed it the way Eddie showed him. Not quite a bullseye but very close to it.

"How was that? ...Eddie?"

"Hm?"

"How was my throw?"

"Oh good, good. It was good." Eddie had been watching. He couldn't even think of tearing his eyes off Steve. He had watched the way his arms flexed and his hips shifted and his legs-god his legs-wait Steve was saying something else.

"Sorry, what?"

Steve smiled. He recognized the look on Eddie's face. "You didn't hear a word I just said, did you?"

"Not a thing, gorgeous."

Steve stepped over to him and put his arms around Eddie's shoulders. "I was asking if you could help me with my technique?"

That was how Eddie found himself in the much coveted position of standing flush against Steve's back, holding his wrist while directing him on how to throw the axe with one hand.

"Is that how you guys normally teach this stuff?", Robin asked, watching Eddie's hand get really bold on Steve's hip.

Jeff rolled his eyes and then averted them. "He's not affiliated with us."

It took Steve only a couple more tries to hit it dead center and when he did, Eddie kissed him like he was the one that got the target.

"I bet you take all your dates here", Steve said against his lips.

"You're the only one who's opened his eyes to how romantic axe throwing can be."

"So romantic", Steve agreed. "How the axe rushes to be with the wood."

"Mmm, it flies on the wings of love", Eddie added, then kissed Steve again, cradling the back of his head.

Steve's hands went around and stuck themselves in Eddie's back pockets. "Something something wood-splitting penetration." He went back to kissing Eddie and everything else melted away until he felt a finger poking his shoulder.

"Hey, it's your best friend. Would you come up for air for a second?"

With a sigh, Steve pulled away but kept his hold on Eddie who did the same for him. Robin jerked her head very unsubtly towards the bathroom. Steve took his hands out of Eddie's pockets.

"Be right back. Try not to miss me too much."

Steve followed Robin to the bathroom which was definitely a single and not meant for two grown people but they made it work anyway.

"So you and Eddie seem to be hitting it off..."

"He's great, isn't it?" Steve was looking at himself in the mirror. He looked like he'd been kissed a lot. From his lips to his hair it was hard not to see.

"You sure you're not, you know, drowning in him?"

"Is that a bad thing? I was a swim captain in high school, remember?"

"There's a difference between a pool and the ocean and Mr...Mr Bad Boy out there's a whole tempest", Robin said.

"Poetic. Any other warnings?"

"Yes", Robin grabbed him by the shoulders. "Please use a condom, I'm not ready to be an aunt."

"Robin, I gotta be honest...I kind of want to have his baby." Steve opened the door and there was Eddie, waiting for him.

"Almost took too long, sweetheart. I was considering breaking the door down."

"You're ridiculous", Steve said as Eddie took his hand and kissed his knuckles.

"He didn't even wash his hands", Robin said.

"Dirty baby", Eddie murmured.

"Wanna see how dirty I can get?"

Part 9 FINAL

Tag Team (CLOSED)

@anne-bennett-cosplayer @estrellami-1 @newtstabber @omletlove @ifyoudonlysurrender @rehfan @morganski-19 @corvidcantina @dragonmama76 @just-ladyme @tinyplanet95 @goodolefashionedloverboi @idoquitelikebread @kittydeadbones @manda-panda-monium @rhapsodyinalto @paintsplatteredandimperfect @keylime-green @ihavekidneys @samsoble @honorarybrit81 @swimmingbirdrunningrock @aizawa-emma @deleataecount @thesuninyaface @fromapayphone @justmeinadaze @hbyrde36 @queenie-ofthe-void @resident-gay-bitch @bestwifehaver @dangdirtydemons @ellietheasexylibrarian @perseus-notjackson @pyrohonk @holysteddie @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @mrsjellymunson @geekymagicalpotato @notaqueenakhaleesi

[fbfh]

But what if Francis got his gf pregnant to babytrap her? Cuz he doesn’t want her to leave him.

AAAUGH. the noise I just made was inhuman. thank you so much for this one anon fr fr. (reader and francis are both aged up to 18+ for smut)

no bc it's when Lois finds him fucking you on the kitchen counter that he first gets the idea. the boys had barely gone to sleep when Francis absolutely jumped your bones. you thought it was going to be another one of his usual impromptu makeout sessions paired with flowery ramblings about how incredible you are, how you shine brighter than the north star, how you're the most amazing girl he's ever met, and you're not even a girl, you're an angel. which yeah it did start out like that, then one thing lead to another and his hand was down your pants. next thing you know he’s kissing your neck and he has you pinned beneath you the way he likes and he's telling you he loves you while he hits that spot inside you over and over. you're millimeters away from cumming when the front door closes. Francis doesn't stop. he keeps going and going until he hears Lois behind him.

"Francis!" He finally realizes she's there, and looks up in a panic. "Are you kidding me?! What's the one thing - the one thing I told you when this started?" she demands rhetorically, gesturing at you in reference to when you started sitting for them.

"Don't fuck the babysitter!" Lois finishes. You scramble away from each other and you begin to apologize. All the rage drops from her face as she turns to you.

"Oh, I'm not mad at you, sweetie." She turns back to Francis. "YOU, on the other hand..." She gives him the lecture of a lifetime. It feels like it lasts forever, but eventually, she's said her peace and they watch you pull yourself together and grab your stuff so you can go home. She had a feeling this was going to happen, that Francis would end up falling for whoever she hired. between that and how hard it is to keep a sitter, you already lowkey have her approval. she could see this coming from a mile away, she just didn't think it'd be so soon. she meets you at the front door and hands you your cash for the night. before you can sputter out more apologies, she cuts you off.

"Really, I'm not mad at you. This isn't your fault." You relax a little. "At this point, we should just get him neutered, make it a lot easier on everyone..." You laugh and she sends you on your way. She turns back to Francis. He's ready to get yelled at again, but she just looks at him. She's quiet. This is almost worse. She's quiet when she does talk, but he can tell she means business.

"If you break that girl's heart, I break your neck. She's good for you, Francis, don't mess this up." He looks relieved. "And one more thing. Don't get her pregnant."

he blinks, then laughs.

"I'm not going to get her pregnant."

They both go to bed shortly after that. His brothers all pretend to be asleep even though they heard everything. They can press him for details in the morning. In spite of his best efforts, Francis can't sleep. Not even when he drowns his pillow case with the bottle of body spray he got in the same scent you use. Get you pregnant. He's not going to get you pregnant. He could, of course. In theory. But why would he? So he can see a little bump grow on your tummy where you're carrying his child? So he can see you all cute and pregnant and dependant on him for nine whole months? So you can raise a precious little baby that's half him and half you and be bound together irreversibly for the rest of your lives?? Huh. That doesn't sound so bad, actually. And you'd look cute pregnant. God you'd look cute pregnant. He lays awake, thinking about it so late into the night. When he finally does fall asleep, he dreams about it. It's only for a few seconds, but he can see you clear as day with your sweet smile and pretty eyes all round with his baby, your baby, and when he wakes up his mind is more than made up. He kind of has to now, right? He absolutely does. All it would take is a few holes poked in a condom and boom, dream come true - a dream life where you're tied to him forever and ever. You're coming over later this week, and he makes a mental note to make sure he knows where a safety pin is before then.

[boy-above]

i'm really upset basically my mom brought a cat home last year (rescued stray) and despite both me and my dad not wanting to keep him my mom kept him anyway. i told my mom that i didn't want a male cat because there's a good chance he'd spray in our house but she didn't care, and then she waited WAY too long to get him neutered despite me regularly telling her to please do it because he Did start spraying in our house. and you know where he was spraying most? on my stuff. i just had to clean up SO much piss in my basement craft room. on the walls, on my table, on my carpet, on my stuffed animals. i had to throw away stuff because it was saturated in piss. the cat tree my dad HAND MADE for me was covered in piss. when i told my mom a few weeks ago that She had to be the one to clean that because it was her cat and her fault she said "can't we just throw it away?" which made me so angry because like i said my dad made that for me. he peed on some of my build-a-bears which are really important to me and i had to throw away one of their wigs bc it was so bad. i'm going to tell her she needs to buy a replacement and if she complains i'll be even more upset.

it makes me so angry because if he'd been spraying on HER stuff this whole time, she would have been angry and she would have gotten him neutered much sooner. but she took her sweet fucking time because it was My Stuff and she didn't care. and she's probably going to be mad at Me when she wakes up and im angry at her, because no one has a right to be angry in this house except for her. if the roles were reversed she'd be threatening to kick me and the cat out of the house but she'd never admit that.

the worst part is that she's the one who brought the cat home but she doesn't even like the cat much now because he likes my dad more than her. she was like "i want an animal that's just my own" but was upset when he liked someone else more, so she got ANOTHER cat, cornbread, after that. and then you know what happened? she didn't think cornbread was affectionate enough so she brought a dog home. now we have so many extra animals me and my dad never wanted. my mom used to be an animal hoarder and we finally got the problem under control but it seems to have reared its ugly head again.

speaking of hoarding, my mom is also a hoarder in general. thankfully not enough that our floors are covered or anything, but she's insufferable in the fact that she'll hardly part with anything. she basically never donates anything and insists on selling everything, but she's too lazy to actually Do the selling so it sits around forever. i keep telling her that there's less fortunate people who could really use the stuff, including baby clothes from when my nephew was little (he's ten now. it's been sitting around for a decade.) one time she spent like 15 minutes digging through my trash to get a mcdonald's toy i'd thrown out, and then boasted about getting ten cents for it at a yard sale. i told her digging through trash is not normal and is invasive and weird but she doesn't think so. she digs through my trash semi-regularly and i just Know she's going to dig through the piss soaked stuff i just threw out and be angry that i'm trying to throw it out because it can ~totally be cleaned~ but i'm telling her that if she wants it she can deal with it and keep it somewhere she can smell it because i'm Not dealing with it.

life is a fucking nightmare sometimes. please assure me that digging through trash isn't normal because she seriously tries to gaslight me into thinking it is

[stevishabitat]

Long rant/emotional vomit incoming…. 

Where to start? 

In August, our neighbors moved out and left their outdoor cat, Franklin behind. We'd gotten him neutered last year during the big TNR project, so he'd retired from both the kitten factory and the tom cat fight club. So he was left kind of hanging around at loose ends.

Franklin in his previous outdoor life

He'd come to the porch for dinner with the ferals, but we could tell he wasn't super healthy, and when we had a heatwave in the 100°F range, and saw him looking like melted cat on the hot pavement, we just couldn't stand it anymore. Clearly they weren't coming back for him, and no one else was taking care of him. So we brought him inside.

This brings our indoor crowd to six. Four adults and two kittens (all courtesy of the same neighbors who had a constant stream of kittens that they would raise and then put outdoors to fend for themselves - we are not regretting their departure from the neighborhood).

The Crew at Feeding Time

So Franklin actually adjusted really quickly to full-time indoor life. But he came with a bunch of hitchhikers. Ear mites, fleas, and tapeworm for certain. I tried OTC treatments at home, but wasn't making progress, and Franklin clearly also suffered from flea allergies and secondary ear infections and skin infections from the mites.

So off to the vet we went.

He had two different bacterial infections in his ears (the tech that read the ear swab slides said "beyond reality"), so he got a full-spectrum antibiotic shot, twice-daily ear mite treatment, and I ended up with a Revolution Plus prescription and tapeworm meds for all six cats, to break the parasite cycle.

Franklin at vet visit #1

I'm hoping we're on the upward swing of things, although Franklin still has raw patches from the flea allergies that he licks compulsively. I've used an OTC cortisone spray for him, but he may need a more systemic approach. Meaning either a shot or prescription. Another trip to the vet is in the works.

Frankie being just the Sweetest

Little man, Henry, still needs to be neutered and he's going on six months old, so I can't put it off much longer. Three of the others need annual vaccinations. The plan was to do one vet visit per month, if I can swing that financially, but that's looking more difficult than I hoped. 

The Babies: Henry and Patches

We are also fighting a losing battle to keep our water heater running. It was damaged by the flood last July, but we've kept it limping along for a whole year. We've now been without hot water since the beginning of September.

My grandma (who owns the house, but is currently living with another relative) is still hesitant to invest in a new water heater. It will take all of us (me, my parents, and grandma) to jointly pay for it. So without her go-ahead, we're kind of in limbo. There are a couple more parts we can try replacing before we're certain it's unfixable. But my dad doesn't want to pay a plumber, he wants to do those himself.  

I bought a tankless point-of-use water heater so we can at least put together a temporary shower and sink in the basement.

But getting that installed and set up has been more difficult and costly than expected (needing extra adapters and fixtures to connect to old plumbing) and although my dad is doing the work when he can, he's also working part-time and can barely walk most days. He can really only do at-home projects once a week at most, and some weeks he just doesn't have the time or physical capacity. 

My pharmacy, insurance, and neurologist can't seem to connect the dots to get my Aimovig refilled, so I'm now more than a month without a migraine preventative and I'm running out of rescue meds.

I had been paying someone to help around the house for an hour twice a month, but I really can't afford it. But without the help, and without migraine meds, and with cats that are still having digestive issues from the worms, and fleas still hatching out and infesting the house... It's a hot mess.

Can you believe this service exists???

Anyway, we're floundering.

Physically, financially, mentally, emotionally... It's draining.

Anyway, I basically ended up maxing out my credit card on all of this chaos. And this is the time of year that work slows down and overtime dries up.

I wasted so much money on things that didn't fix the fleas, or Franklin's illnesses, or the water heater, or my migraines... or... or....

So much money on meal replacement shakes because I'm too nauseated to eat, and delivery for kiddo because I don't have the energy to cook.

Bought a bunch of rinse-free body cleansers and shampoos so we can try to maintain self-care and hygiene without hot water. Got that tankless water heater and a shower tent and floor mat hoping to make kiddo more comfortable with showering somewhere other than the bathroom (they're still very much against the idea). 

The payment for kiddo's therapy bounced this week, and my biweekly paycheck can't cover that and the credit card payment. So it will probably bounce next week too. I think after two non-payments we have to give up our time slot. Therapy is so important for kiddo's mental health. I have to find a way to keep up with that if nothing else. 

Kiddo is absolutely at max capacity for demands and just can't help at all, can't even do basic self-care, clean up after themselves, or help with the cats like they used to. The state of the house is stressing them out, and they want more connection with me and Grandmummy, that we don't have the time or spoons to give.

Kiddo, Jack and Henry

My mom has also been without her meds for several weeks, and honestly, she's been in an autoimmune flare for most of this year. I think all the physical work from the flood, plus the mold, and a case of covid in the last year really messed her up. 

My dad going back to work (which was financially necessary) means he's physically unable to do things at home, and time wise he's not able to pick my sister-in-law up from work, or take grandma to doctors appointments - so all of that is on my mom now. So she's less able to spend time with kiddo - leaving me as sole caregiver most of the time, including when I'm working from home.

My car is still dead from the flood, and the vehicle I share with my parents has multiple issues. So I get groceries and necessary supplies delivered and only do errands on the day I take kiddo to therapy. That's about as much as I can physically do anyway.

That one time we thought the car was driveable (we were very wrong)

I was supposed to meet my (long-distance) girlfriend for renaissance festival this weekend, but I don't have gas money and her car is in the shop getting necessary brake repairs. It's our twice a year getaway without kids, and I think we're going to miss it.

RenFaire in the Spring

I'm really just venting because I don't have anyone to talk to who isn't also in the thick of it with me. 

I think a lot of my mutuals will understand all of this. So if you're in a mess like this, know that it's not just you. You aren't a failure. 

We're all doing the best we can, and sometimes no matter what you do, the best still looks like a disaster. 

[arvadthecursed]

Buggie is so cute. He's neutered, so he can't actually spray, but he'll shake/vibrate his tail and sometimes stomp his lil feet if he's happy 😭💖 he did it tonight when I got home from work