#he is a McLaren fan tbf

[norrstri]

A series of events unfolding

So… landoscar cosplay soon?

[beiasluv]

grid of in-laws | o. piastri (81)

a/n: im thai, so definitely not self-inserting here 🤭

yn_albon

liked by oscarpiastri, lilymhe and 86,107 others

yn_albon mum and dad 🤷‍♀️

view all 14,186 comments

lilymhe my baby 😘

yn_albon 🫶🫶

alex_albon remember I always have the pictures

yn_albon 😔 I’m sorry my dearest brother

username hello?? What pictures??

username don’t be shy, tell usss

username Oscar, what are you doing here??

username he’s trying to rizz her up or what?

username im praying that they are dating

username BROTHER what are you high on?

username TELL ME YOU DONT HAVE TWITTER

username yall think that if they’re not dating, oscar’s gonna be a creep and like all of her pics for nothing?

username MOST men do that. Oscar’s my pookie tho

username yeah, exactly. dating.

yn_albon’s private story

reply

alex_albon: don’t you think it’s time for a public story? 🙄

: im going to combust from embarrassment

alex_albon: please, when lily posted me-

: you jumped around the room and kicked your legs. I know 😔

alex_albon: yeah, time to think about it. also, call mum tonight

: mkayy

lilymhe

tokyo, japan

liked by yn_albon, alex_albon and 127,041 others

lilymhe the albons’ lost in tokyo!!

view 34,617 comments

yn_albon we’re all lost 😔

alex_albon says the one with your own japanses translator

yn_albon yeah, can’t hear you

username EXCUSE ME??

username OSCAR???

yn_albon 🫶🫶

alex_albon back off🤺🤺

lilymhe she’s just my baby 😔

username EXCUSE ME? Who can speak japanse in the gird? Oscar mf piastri

username exactly what I was thinking!!

username yuki rn 🧍‍♂️

username didn’t oscar and lando went out in tokyo today as well???

username FUCKING HELL YES HELLO? I’M HAVING AN ASTHMA ATTACK

landonorris

tokyo, japan

liked by mclaren, yn_albon and 782,106 others

landonorris lost in japan 👊

view all 185,106 comments

alex_albon copying each other’s pose kings

liked by yn_albon

landonorris tbf, it wasn’t taken by the same person 🤷‍♂️

oscarpiastri i called that pose first

georgerussell63 nice food mate 👊

landonorris nah, they didn’t get me

username THEY WHO? Oscar and who??

username tell me SOMETHING i DONT know

username so we’re all here from lily’s post huh 😭

username yn liked the post 🤷‍♀️

username wait, YN AND LANDO FOLLOW EACH OTHER??

username she’s pretty close with the 2019 rookies ig

yn_albon

chinatown, bangkok

liked by oscarpiastri, alex_albon and 76,127 others

yn_albon we ate ✌️💅

view all 21,701 comments

alex_albon thanks for copying my pose, be original 👊

yn_albon lily come get yo man please

lilymhe right away 🫡

landonorris good food 🙌

yn_albon still can’t make you try fish 😔

landonorris sorry, it’s never happening 🤷‍♂️

username please tell me yn brought oscar with her 😭

username white boy getting dragged to asian street food by his gf, my favorite trope

username *and traumatizing him

yn_albon I swear I fed him the right food 😔😭

username SHUT UP GUYES ITS CONFIRMED

username yn feed my boy pad thai

username naur that’s basic asf 😭

alex_albon

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri and 510,418 others

alex_albon back home with my favourite person and some thai local i guess 🤷‍♂️ (jk, love you both)

view all 218,177 comments

yn_albon yeah, love you too 🤺

lilymhe you don’t play mermaids with us 👎

yn_albon right??? I’m sorry for not training him harder 😔✊

alex_albon i apologise 😭

username boooo, alexxxx

username oscar has been real quiet since the bangkok post??

username SO lando went with them which only makes sense if oscar ALSO went with them yk??

username I KNOW what y’all are thinking

oscarpiastri

phuket, thailand

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 751,168 others

oscarpiastri thanks to a local guide 🇹🇭

view all 386,109 comments

username ITS FUCKING OFFICIAL OSCAR POSTING

username sad day to be an oscar fan 😔

username GOOD DAY to be an oscaryn shipper

username shut UP is that yn??

username YES‼️ where have you been???

username alex just posted them going to phuket, so 2+2 🤷‍♀️

username i mean he already went out to tokyo with the albons, so what’s the chance

yn_albon

liked by alex_albon, lilymhe and 282,156 others

yn_albon golfing or we balling‼️

view all 98,716 comments

landonorris Oscar is literally 🧍‍♂️

yn_albon exactly

oscarpiastri I am not a professional golfer 🤷‍♂️

alex_albon who won??

yn_albon you😔

yn_albon only because lily is not playing 🤷‍♀️

username PUT HIM BACK SIS!!

lilymhe

liked by yn_albon, alex_albon and 96,267 others

lilymhe serious dinner…

view all 17,817 comments

alex_albon very serious indeed…

yn_albon what are y’all on about? 😭

username PLEASE IS THIS THE IN-LAWS DINNER WE WERE BEGGING FOR

username ‘serious dinner’ my ASS 😭

yn_albon

liked by georgerussell63, landonorris and 396,691 others

yn_albon race week dump ig 😦

view all 91,178 comments

alex_albon ITS HAPPENING

landonorris WHAT IS HAPPENIF

landonorris WHY IS OSCAR JUMPIN

landonorris OH.

username george, blink if you’re the third wheel

username NAH LOGAN AS WELL 😭

oscarpiastri

liked by landonorris, logansargeant and 627,182 others

oscarpiastri guess we did have a dinner..

comments on this post have been limited

yn_albon’s story | oscarpiastri’s story

reply

alex_albon: THANK GOD

the longest one yet. it took me so long because I keep undoing and editing (perfectionist af)

request is open-ish because I’m done with exams!! jenson dilf incoming?? 😬

anyways, hope y’all enjoyed it. like, reblog, COMMENT, or anything if you liked it. If not, y’all better lock yo door.

today’s a good day to take care of yourself!!

[landitolover]

𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒂 𝒍𝒐𝒕, 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓, in which lando and his fiancée joke about having kids (cats), but they randomly just drop an actual pregnancy announcement! ౨ৎ lando x mexican!fiancée!reader

Liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, mclaren, oscarpiastri, and 109,122 others

yourusername que feo

tagged landonorris

View all 1,299 comments

user get this girl a kid for christmas!

→ landonorris 😉😉

→ user bitch WHAT

→ user plot twist he gives her an actual kid instead 🤷‍♀️

→ user OH NAAH..😭

user QUE PRECIOSA

user are u guys still trying for a baby

→ yourusername yes i rlly want a kitten for Christmas landonorris

→ landonorris yeah and i want a hippopotamus for christmas

→ user okkk xmas king ‼️‼️

user i love u queen 🙏🏼 and your lil white boy 🫶🏼

Liked by the creator

user jump-scare warning for the 1st pic yn

→ yourusername LMFAOO

→ landonorris babe you’re supposed to defend me

→ yourusername lo siento 😞

carlossainz55 por fin, un caption que es la verdad 😂

→ yourusername yo solo digo la verdad 😇

→ landonorris stop shit talking me guys!!!!

→ carlossainz55 pobrecito 😪

→ yourusername no, you THREW ME IN THE SNOW

landonorris SOOO HERMOSA 🤩

landonorris i don’t regret the last slide.

→ yourusername i see how it is.. calling off the marriage rn

→ landonorris BABY I WAS KIDDING I FELT REALLY BAD

→ user smh i’m already a child of divorce 😞

lilymhe 😍😍 become a runaway bride for me

→ yourusername ofc baby

Liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, carlossainz55, and 220,029 others

yourusername when he hangs out with the opposition… he’s cute though, I guess?

tagged landonorris

View all 1,019 comments

user the opps 😒😒😷😷

user WHERES RHE CAT CAFE LOCATED QUEEN

→ yourusername tiki’s cat cafe in mexico city x

user my babygirl perfect angel pink princess bubblegum honey sweetheart sunshine shmuckums

→ landonorris that’s actually what i call her every morning

→ alex_albon good morning baby

user shes so gorgeous I just died dead

yourmom que preciosa mija ❤️❤️

→ yourusername te amo mami !!

landonorris DIOSA 😍😍😍

→ yourusername okkk mexican king 🤩🤩 !!

landonorris mi chula novia 👰‍♀️

→ yourusername 💕

maxfewtrell no

→ yourusername who r u

→ maxfewtrell fuck off

→ landnorris erm actually 🤓 don’t talk to my fiancée like that

Liked by yourusername, oscarpiastri, carlossainz55, and 1,290,192 others

landonorris we found a cat in our chair after we finished swimming, welcome to the family zanahoria 🥕 (this is her only Christmas present)

tagged yourusername

View all 2,291 comments

user OMG 😊😊 THEY HAVE A KID!!

user she’s so pretty

user LANDO U ARE THE LUCKIEST MAN ALIVE.

→ landonorris i know 😌

user UGHHHH IM SOBBING

user real baby next xx

→ user NOO GET OUTT 😭😭

user katnapped ❓

lilymhe she looks absolutely beautiful! uhm- and you’re there..

yourusername MY ONLY PRESENT?? YOU KIDNAPPED THE CAT

→ landonorris it was stray

→ yourusername u right.. i still deserve christmas gifts

→ landonorris i’m broke

→ yourusername …….🌝

Liked by landonorris, carlossainz55, mclaren, lilymhe, and 228,929 others

yourusername life update: back in my hometown, lando brought the helmet he quite literally dnfed in (🌝🌝), and my mom won’t stop showing him my baby pics. p.s. flo, can you please send me lando’s baby pics so he can stfu xx

December 21st, 2023

tagged landonorris

View all 1,029 comments

user tbf the helmet is rlly nice

→ user his rep era 😢 gone too soon

user WAAAHHHH

user best couple ever idc

user she was such a cute baby 🥹

→ user imagine their kids 😭😭

landonorris flo please don’t send her my baby pics

→ yourusername too late baby xx

landonorris wow u are so cool!!!! i am your biggest fan 🤩🤩

→ yourusername I’M (getting) MARRIED!!!!!!😡😡😡

→ landonorris he doesn’t have to know…😉😉

alex_albon u look disappointed in the first pic

→ yourusername i am

Liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, mclaren, lnfour, and 1,239,290 others

landonorris she isn’t dead!!

january 4th, 2024

tagged yourusername

View all 2,029 comments

user YN 😭😭😭 its been a year daddy

user i missed them so bad

user dont talk to me im sobbing

user SHES ALIVE!! AND HEALTHY!!!

yourusername 😇😇❤️❤️

alex_albon is your cat studious

→ landonorris duh, just like his dad 😉

→ alex_albon didn’t u like… not go to high school?

→ landonorris i can still be studious, mate!!!!

Liked by landonorris, mclaren, carlossainz55, yourmom, and 1,091,100 others

yourusername and it’s all just too much for little lando norris… surprise!! i am pregnant ❓(have been for like 3 months now)

tagged landonorris

march 1st, 2024

View all 2,019 comments

user OH MY GOD. THEYRE HAVING A KID????

user i am hyperventilating shut up

user LMFAOO THE 2ND PIC

user what about us….. your og children ☹️☹️

→ yourusername don’t worry 💕 you guys are the og!!!

user whats it finna play.. WOAAAHHH

user im throwing up i. Jsut fell on the floor

landonorris te amo mucho mi vida ☀️🤍🫶🏼

→ yourusername i love you more 🫶🏼🧡

lilymhe CONGRATS BABY 🎉🎉

→ yourusername thank you 💙💙💙

carlossainz55 i guess he isn’t so little after all? 😂

→ yourusername LMFAO CARLOS 😭😭

oscarpiastri is he crying over your cravings? cause they’re horrendous

→ landonorris yeah i am, but anything for my girl

→ yourusername STOP 🥹🥹

→ oscarpiastri ew don’t get all corny on me

yourmom por fin!!!

Liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, lnfour, and 1,678,919 others

landonorris daddy norris 🔜

tagged yourusername

View all 2,392 comments

user THE CAPTION? 💀

user i am so unbelievably happy for them

user mama y papa 💞💞💞

user who CHEERED

user omg she can’t have sushi until after the baby 😭😭

→ landonorris good.

user so i guess they were trying for an actual baby 😃

maxfewtrell mate get out with that caption

→ landonorris make me

→ maxfewtrell woah, you’re a soon-to-be-married man

→ landonorris 😐😐

yourusername 🔜

mclaren congratulations you two 🧡

→ landonorris thank you 🧡 (give me a life time contract??)

→ yourusername 🤍🤍

danielricciardo let me be the godfather (congrats mate 😁)

→ landonorris yourusername opinions?

→ yourusername uhmmmmmm

→ carlossainz55 let ME be the godfather

→ yourusername no güey

→ oscarpiastri pick me, choose me

→ yourusername 🐨🐨🐨

lnfour the soon to be better norris-l/n 💚

→ yourusername agreed

౨ৎ hi guyyysss 🤍🤍 sorry for not posting, i just didn’t have any motivation :,) but hopefully my motivation will come back though xx also i will prolly start writing part two of ‘say don’t go’ 🫶🏼

[povlnfour]

ੈ✩‧₊˚ PADDOCK TO PADDOCK (LN) PART 4

series masterlist | prev part | next part

lando norris x fem!horse rider!reader

texts with lando ੈ✩‧₊˚

texts cont. ੈ✩‧₊˚

lando.jpg just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by daniel.jpg and 58,291 others

lando.jpg met the horse and treated the olympian (!) to dinner

👤 tagged yourusername

view all 1,006 comments

user3 OMGGGGG THEY’RE FRIENDS AGAIN

user1 y’all had me WORRIED for a second there

daniel.jpg much prefer her face to yours

lando.jpg we all do

user9 🙄🙄🙄

yourusername omg i made it to the jpg account

lilymhe text me NOW

texts with lily ੈ✩‧₊˚

yourusername just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by landonorris, carlossainz55 and 200,876 others

yourusername august slipped away

👤 tagged lando norris, flo_norris_showjumping, and 3 others

view all 19,447 comments

user6 DID THE FAMILY DINNER HAPPEN????

user1 y/n hanging out with landos family🫣🫣🫣 oh they’re in LOVE

flo_norris_showjumping i LOVED seeing you again🥹 even if my brother hogged you for most of the night

user3 NOT FLO EXPOSING LANDO????

yourusername you’re still my number 1🩷🩷🩷

carlossainz55 please tell me lando wasn’t allowed in the kitchen?

yourusername oh god no, his job was set the table

user2 so glad i don’t have to fist fight lando anymore

landonorris i’m sorry WHAT

landonorris babe protect me from your fans

user3 BABE?????

user1 HELAKFIDJS BABE?

landonorris just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 243,077 others

landonorris one of us is a passenger princess. guess which one

view all 12,004 comments

user4 SHE CANT DRIVE FREE HER

user5 i am so used to them being gross and in love on my home page but i still gasped

yourusername not my fault i cant drIVE

landonorris sweetheart that kind of is YOUR fault

user3 i cant with these nicknames omg

danielricciardo mate tbf it’s usually you

user13 was she doing her makeup in the car bc mood😭

landonorris she was and i’m still finding glitter everywhere days later

lily’s story, texts w lily, twitter reacts ੈ✩‧₊˚

mclaren just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 101,572 others

mclaren your move, @/williamsracing🧡

👤 tagged yourusername

view all 4,077 comments

user5 AHAHAHAH ADMIN VS ADMIN IS BACK

user7 who y’all backing? williams could fight i reckon👀👀👀

alex_albon @/yourusername we need to TALK.

landonorris uh oh dads angry

alex_albon @/landonorris lazy town looking ass

williamsracing oh it’s on👀 we heard she prefers our catering anyway!

scuderiaferrari if she’s here for catering, she’s in the wrong place!

user1 the girls are fighting!

yourusername williams mclaren look at me this isn’t you

landonorris just posted a photo ੈ✩‧₊˚

liked by mclaren, alex_albon and 239,556

landonorris tough stint lately but got some nice incentive today. podium incoming?

view all 19,506 comments

user9 she’s been in every single one of his posts lately. it’s concerning

user7 he’s not gonna fuck you

user3 INCENTIVE? WHATS THE INCENTIVE?

yourusername 🤭 good luck for singapore

liked by landonorris

user5 WHAT ARE THEY PLOTTING

taglist: @idkiwantchocolatee @vellicora @alessioayla @bborra @crimeshowjunkie @minkyungseokie @paolexsstuff

a/n: 👀 i am having sm fun writing this. v excited to write the next part👀

taglist found here!!!

- giselle xx

[kindestofkings]

tongue-tied (sunflowers)

lando norris x reader

dets: reader is a pro golfer, a massive f1 fan and best friends with lily muni he. will she enter her wag era?

authors note: I litch dont know a thing about golf and I know you can tell lol xx ENJOY

faceclaim: madeline argy

yourusername

liked by lilymhe and others

yourusername just wanted to assure everyone im still alive ! just working away and falling more in love with lilymhe, better watch out alexalbon xxx

view all other comments

lilymhe my love !! training is always so fun with you

alexalbon heyy you're meant to say stop falling in love with me! ive a boyfriend 😑 lilymhe eh why bother :))

ynfan1 can't wait to see you in action on the green!!

ynfan2 🔥🔥🔥

lilymhe

liked by alex_albon and others

lilymhe the mixed weather has not stopped us getting some practice in! (its impossible to keep her attention when there's a gp on 🙄)

view all other comments

yourusername but it's the azerbaijan grand prix! I never miss a grand prix!

lilymhe first alex now you 🙄 🙄

f1fan1 can alobono fight? CAN HE FIGHT??

alex_albon you mean i'm not the only f1 lover in your life???

yourusername oi I was the first mister ! been a mclaren fan since birth 😤 lilymhe tbf she isn't lying... ynfan1 it is sooo common knowledge that yourusername is a ride or die mclaren fan lol yourusername yeah get with it albon

yourusername

liked by lilymhe and others

yourusername home and showered in time for the miami grand prix this is a full time job !

kind followers this pact of doritos is a secret between us, got it? so if my personal trainer asks you saw NOTHING, got it?

view all other comments

ynfan1 yn and lily being f1 fans is so cute !

lilymhe oooh but doritos are your sad snack ? whats happening

yourusername the fav ended in p17 😭 congrats to albonononono tho, i guess alex_albon wow could that have been anymore heartfelt ! lilymhe sush shes a mclaren girlie, don't kick her while she's down!! f1fan1 soooo me coded. its a hard time for us mclaren girlies rn.

yourusername

liked by ynfan1 and others

yourusername greens beautiful as always! unfortunately inviting alex_albon along with us backfired entirely cause albon didn't bring an papaya wearing f1 friend, so I just thirdwheeled for the day .

view all other comments

alex_albon oh sorry I think oscar was busy today :(

yourusername thats not who I meant and you know it ! 😑

lilymhe at least you look cute tho!

ynfan1 im litch not a golf fan but I'm obsessed with you lol

ynfan2 I feel so seen, I recognise a lando norris fan when I see one !

landonorris

liked by yourusername and others

landonorris freshhhh

view all other comments

f1fan1 lando finally past his puberty danny ric is proud

f1fan2 he so fine

landofan1 😳❤️

yourusername

liked by alex_albon and others

yourusername it's the monaco grand prix and not only am I not missing it, I'm here! thank qqqq mclaren <33

view all other comments

ynfan1 ahhhh OMG I hope you meet lando finally

lilymhe babe come williams garage xx

yourusername on my way bestie! gotta tell you about the most awkward encounter EVER lilymhe 🫢🫢

mclaren so glad to have you with us today!

landonorris just followed you!

yourusername

liked by lilymhe and others

yourusername attended my first grand prix after being a fan of the sport my whole life! was so chronically awkward I'll never show my face in public again, I've turned to the drink and am hiding away xxx

unrelated: is there a support group for people who embarrassed themselves in front of their celebrity crush??

view all other comments

lilymhe it can't possible have been THAT BAD

ynfan1 you looked so pretty tho!

ynfan1 also have you forgotten you're a PROFESSIONAL sportswoman yourself lilymhe they are so right ! you slay always yourusername 🥹🥹

mclaren please come join us for another weekend ! celeb crushes can go both ways you know ....

ynfan1 OH OH OH NORIZZ has a crush on you YAYYY

alex_albon leave you both unsupervised for a DAY and you implode

yourusername you said you would be my wingman, I was unprepared 😔😔

landonorris if you do find one can I also get the number to that support group?

osarpiastri please for the well being of everyone, I cannot hear a recap of this meeting alex_albon we should have stuck with the original plan and gone golfing ffs landonorris kick a guy while he's down why don't you yourusername hello ! hi guys just gentle reminder this is my comment section so I can like ... see everything.... landonorris hi 😳 alex_albon oh ffs help lilymhe

britishgq

liked by landonorris and others

britishgq meets yourusername in our next edition. yn is the pinnacle of modern women, with titles like the 'people's princess' circulating. we believe it's high time for a proper catch-up.

oh, and did we mention she's currently britain's highest-ranking female golfer?

view all other comments

yourusername ahh this is surreal, I had so much fun!!

britishgq 💓💓

lilymhe I say thats my bestie and I am PROUD

lilymhe a model and a killer sportswoman, someone wife her up before I do ! f1fan1 hahaha thats landos warning

ynfan1 I feel so proud omg!!

ynfan2 oh hello lando lurking in the likes

alex_albon oh?

landonorris

liked by maxfewtrell and others

landonorris have been getting some private lessons in between races, watch out carlossainz55

view all other comments

carlossainz55 aye you'll need a miracle

landonorris and who says I haven't got one...

alex_albon you'd wanna start returning my calls mate

landofan1 oh hello WHO ARE YOU SOFT LAUNCHING

ynfan1 *whispers* please be yn please be yn 🤞

lilymhe BESTIE STEALER

ynfan1 ahh its SO is yn

yourusername

liked by landonorris and others

yourusername golf golf golf, also I drove a fancy car and didnt crash! waiting for that call from mclaren any second now xx

view all other comments

lilymhe look at you all adorable and loved up <3

alex_albon these kids are growing up so fast ! f1fan you are everyones parents xx

mclaren getting rid of our first driver as we speak !!

landonorris you are leaving out the detail that you mounted the curb...

yourusername and I can leave the detail of you out of my life if you dont watch ynfan1 HE KNOWS THE DETAILS

landojpg

liked by yourusername and others

landojpg summer break well spent.

view all other comments

ynfan1 I spot my hero !! must be dating if she's on holiday with the friends

landofan1 ew is lily's friend hanging out of him AGAIN?? get a job christ

ynfan1 you do realise shes a professional golfer right?? ynfan2 there's this thing called holidays ....

lilymhe please give her back to me... you can take alex!

landojpg he's not as cute tho 😔 alex_albon so you're saying I am cute tho? 😎

landonorris added to their story!

the prettiest papaya supporter🧡

replies:

yourusername ah give a girl some warning before you hardlaunch her to your millions of fans... yourusername kinda so cute tho Ill let you away with it <3 lilymhe AH hardlaunch on main danielricciardo does landonorizz have ... rizz??

_finished_

as always would LOVE to know you're thoughts! come chat about this fic or even ideas you have for my next one??

[brakingpoint]

i wanna hear you talk about lando lmaoooo

god the thing for me is i think lando is a driver whose likability negatively correlates with his position in the WDC standings. as a midfield driver i don't mind him at all - backread my lando norris tag and you'll see me engaging in fan behaviour - but i think as soon as he's become someone who can regularly contend for both wins and championships both he and, sadly, many of his fans have become increasingly insufferable. i think a key factor in this is honestly his sense of humour - i don't think there's actually a lot of truth in some of the more unbothered things he says that come across as disrespectful to his direct competitors and predecessors in this sport, but the "so deadpan self-deprecating it loops around back into tongue in cheek egotism" thing is something that comes across far better when you're P8 in the championship than it does when you're P2 and chasing down the WDC with the fastest car on the grid.

also tbqh as a piastri fan he rubbed me the wrong way a lot in 2023 with his requests for team orders - i honestly don't think he was wholly unjustified in this because he was frequently the faster car, since debuting oscar has had problems with race pace and tyre management that he's only really started to conquer this season. which is understandable because, yknow, he was a rookie last year. but at the same time when you're a fan of a driver it is undeniably irritating, no matter how justified, to hear his teammate asking to be let past in every other race (this is an exaggeration. lando fans do not come at me with statistics. i don't care), and there's a point where it's like, you are blatantly faster than him. so just overtake him. grow up!! so anyway that started to sour me on him last year, now we've not only got that ongoing teammate battle (complete with lando fans starting to be insane about it and do favouritism conspiracies on social media, which tbf is an f1 fan rite of passage at this point) but also him chasing down my #1 pookie max for the WDC so is it truly any wonder i've gotten completely tired of him. when the mclaren magically gets slower in 2026 and i start being niceys about him again you will understand that this is not hypocrisy but a reflection of my opening thesis statement x

[dizzyduck44]

Monza Musings

Some of the comments online following that race. Where do we even start.

I can’t work out if they are new fans who don’t fully understand the sport yet or people who just ignore facts because they are angry.

Yes the Max Verstappen show is getting boring, other fans struggle to find the motivation to watch the races anymore and the sport can’t survive on the fans of one team alone. It was the same when Mercedes dominated, the first Red Bull domination, during the McLaren domination, the Schumacher domination and the Williams domination (though I can barely remember that one). It’s not great for the sport outright.

What I will say though is I do remember in virtual every other situation it was a team or a couple of teams winning. I’ve not see a single driver in a team make the car look unbeatable while his teammate has floundered, so kudos to Max for that.

This new generation at McLaren have always prioritised team. “Let your teammate past”, split strategy, Carlos’ first podium was because Lando let him past, Lando’s first podium required Carlos to let him past. Their last win was a hold position order. It is how McLaren operate.

Yes in teams the lead driver normally gets pit preference but sometimes they don’t want to pit first. Some times the data shows the lead driver will come out in traffic whilst the second driver would come out in clear air and undercut a rival. As a team are you meant to not take that advantage to save a drivers feelings?

Yesterday the timing shows Lando overtook Oscar in the pits, he was approaching the corner at full speed on warmer tyres. He was ahead going into the corner. I’m giving Oscar the rookie benefit of the doubt that he didn’t calculate all that but just wanted to keep the place and Lando had given him space so he thought what he did was acceptable. It wasn’t. I’ve seen lots of people say that it should never have happened if they pitted Oscar first but very few ready to admit he was in the wrong.

Go back to quali even Oscar admitted the only time he was quicker than Lando all weekend was the last run in Q3. He thought he was having a poor weekend. Lando’s call for Oscar to pick up the pace was justified and Tbf Oscar did pick up the pace, proving Lando’s point. The car could do it, Oscar just wasn’t at that point.

Can we stop acting as if losing to a Williams is embarrassing. That belittles all the hard work that team had put in, the improvements they have made and how well Alex is driving it. Williams were once a world beating team. There is no reason to suspect they will never be competitive again.

Again the hate that Lewis can’t race wheel to wheel. In a race that saw Ferrari on Ferrari and McLaren on McLaren crime, as well as 3 other drivers getting the same penalty for the same thing, all the hate falls on Lewis. It’s like Brazil Sprint 2021 doesn’t exist, 20th to 5th in a handful of laps and that was just one occasion he has shown it. Anyone who tells me Lewis can’t race wheel to wheel I know is letting emotion override sense.

[vro0m]

I agree with your speculation that it was their original plan to put Daniel back into the Red Bull seat. Honestly, I wouldn't even have been shocked if they had made some excuse about performance and actually replaced Checo at the end of this year if Daniel didn't injure himself and his performances were at least matching or better than Yuki's. The hand injury really did come at the worst possible time for him since there'll (rightfully) always be skepticism about his performance after his mclaren stint and he has less time to prove the naysayers wrong now. Liam performing so well as Daniel's replacement also complicates things too.

I'm curious about why you think it's not a good move for him? Is it because of Max? idk I'm not a fan of red bull but I am a fan of Daniel and I can't think of another place for him that would give him what he needs or wants as a driver. What do you think would be another option for him (besides retirement lol 😭)?

I'm also anticipating the 2024 silly season. I looked it up and there are at least 10 drivers that have expiring contracts next year, so I feel like surely there has to be at least one big or exciting move that happens.. Especially with some big seats opening up like Ferrari, Red Bull and Mclaren. Hopefully I didn't just jinx it lol

Lemme preface this by saying this is only my opinion, I'm not always right, and I can't see the future.

(long post)

First of all as I said, it is the best option for him. In reality it's his only option. Because of his difficult past few years, the teams willing to sign him were backmarkers (namely Haas) and it's very difficult to come back in F1 once you're out of a seat, especially when it's not out of your own free will (understand : retiring then coming back). It's honestly kinda unhoped-for that they're giving him another shot. I'm not sure he'd have had half a chance if Nyck had done better.

The problem is Max indeed. Say he does get the RBR seat in 2025 : he's not gonna beat Max. Then what? As we've touched on before on this blog, you always always have to do better than your teammate (nice essay, go read it!). Doesn't matter if they're still top of the standings, doesn't matter if he manages to finish 2nd himself, he'll be the new Perez sooner or later. All second drivers become Perezes sooner or later. And! That's imagining he's gonna manage to keep up with Max better than Perez, which we don't actually know at this point. Might be worse than being second behind Max. Might be third or fourth or fifth etc. In any case, he's most probably not gonna get a real shot at the title at RBR, except if he suddenly exceeds all expectations which, again, all due respect, but his track record isn't convincing at this point. I truly don't see him – but tbf I don't really see any of them – beating Max in the RB. Maybe if they get it awfully wrong Merc-style in 2026 but like. They have Newey so there's no way it's gonna happen. So?

Say he got the seat. He probably doesn't want to be a second driver to the end of his career right? He wants to win. Otherwise he could have just taken Gunther Steiner's offer, cashed in the check, and done. But he doesn't have a shot at RBR. So he needs another seat. But who's gonna sign him? Again, he's 34. He'll be 36 in 2025 if he gets the RBR seat, so he probably wouldn't be looking for a seat elsewhere before, at best, 2026, at 37. He's getting old, he's running out of time. Ferrari have their own plans for the future with Charles. Mercedes have their own plans for the future with George. Depending on his form then, he might or might not have a better chance to beat another first driver in another car than Max in the RB, but he'll always be considered as a second driver for the team signing him. And, once again, that's if he performs well enough that other teams might want to sign him, whatever his age.

Or maybe there's a sudden unicorn event happening and an unexpected team suddenly makes it to the top and he's conveniently signed there when it happens, but I mean if we're gonna speculate that far-off why not imagine Max retiring at the end of 2024 and actually it's his seat Daniel gets?

When I'm saying I'm not sure it's the best move for him I mean for him. It's the best – it's the only – move for his career in F1. But the way I see it, best case scenario he gets a few more years as a second driver here or there, maybe he even wins a few times with RedBull, then he can retire on his own terms. Hopefully he's okay with it, hopefully he's not beating himself up for not living up to unrealistically high expectations. Hopefully Marko doesn't start bullying him like he did the others.

Worst case scenario, he doesn't fare much better than he has this past couple of years and it's another painful failure.

I understand he wanted more, I understand he can't really realistically be like "okay you're right I'm not worth a seat I'll retire", but I'm not sure it's gonna be the comeback he's wishing for and I hope he's prepared to deal with whatever comes mentally if it's not.

Or maybe I'm completely wrong and he beats Max out of nowhere ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[ceesimz]

very valid lol. why can we not experience a period of dominance (i'm not even asking for much!!! just give me lando wdc and i'm happy actually) without other teams making hard for us :c :c :c

i'm (slightly) kidding because tbf i do love the sport so much more when it's actually competitive, and even though the possibility of my own team dominating like that is exciting, i think i'm way more excited over the possibility of winning a hard-fought championship (like the wcc this year) than winning it halfway through lol

yeah, i think the amount of rookies is playing into mclarens favor in more ways than one, but if we don't capitalize on opportunities we will never win anything 😭 i hope the team have learned from their mistakes in the past season and go into the new season with a clear mindset, clear first driver, no more of those 'papaya rules' because what the hell was that

i thinkkk i'm most afraid of ferrari, but you can't count red bull out of course. i just think leclerc and hamilton is a lethal pair lol, even writing those names together feels kinda surreal. last year, we had the best driver pairing but i think they top us off, if lewis reaches levels he hasn't reached in a while only though.

but i'm excited! more excited than i've been in ages, because god knows the pain we've had to sustain the past couple years lol. but i'm glad there's a bit of a break now because my heart doesn't do well with race day sundays :D

yeah im v v v excited for what could be such a competitive season though im more so just in disbelief that it could be a possible four way fight for the title when i couldn't even tell you the last time that happened or if it's ever happened, when mclaren are finally doing well again😭

i don't really care which mclaren drivers gets the wdc just pls do not start having petty fights🙏🏼 if it's a three way or even four way fight we cannot get away with bad performances, need to be on top and organized from day dot in aus. but all that said, last season was the first time the majority of this generation of mclaren staff/drivers/management/etc were in a position to fight for a championship of any sort so it's not surprised there were mistakes made, they just HAVE to be sorted for this season. no second chances can be given when a championship is on the line

the ferrari pairing will probably by far be the best on the grid. i just think the pit wall crew have such a hard task because how tf do you choose between two insane drivers like that? surely two drivers of such standard will reach a point in the season when they start clashing, what will the team do in that case? im so curious lol but i think surely lewis will be number one once he's settled no? you can't ever write him off. charles is an amazing qualifier but in races he's still kiiiinda known to make mistakes and lewis hardly ever does. so many possibilities, my mind cannot comprehend

but it's a very very exciting time to be a mclaren fan, to think back to bahrain '23 where we were dead last to now being wcc winners with the goal of both championships in mind is incredible🙂‍↕️ desperately hoping this season lives up to expectations!

[targaryenluvs]

daniel ricciardo x bellinghamsister!reader

(model/photographer sister)

summary: daniel accidentally announces his relationship to his fans.

meriaoperman SINCE WHEN WAS HOMEBOY DATING???

olenmcu thats what im saying!!!

mclarenbrazilfans her name is y/n bellingham you lot how dont you know her @y/nbellingham

y/nbellingham and i thought we weren't posting this 😭

danielricciardo i may or may not have accidentally posted this here rather then on my private 😁

y/nbellingham watch your back danny

y/nbellingham also ive got so many follow requests this is mad

angieksmith YOUR BRITISH

y/nbellingham you're* and no im def not

lewishamilton Lies.

y/nbellingham actual, no lie, im jude bellingham.

judebellingham sureee i believe you

y/nbellingham @judebellingham excuse me, i will unleash a kangaroo on you (thanks for the loaner dan)

jobebellingham leave my brother alone 😔

y/nbellingham OUR brother 🤨

jackgrealish hoping you're at the next game need someone to keep jude in check

judebellingham oi im always in check

y/nbellingham sureee i believe you

f1xfootball TWO WORLDS COLLIDE MY GOD

bellamani tbf half the world doesnt even know you exist girl 😭

y/nbellingham @bellamani people think im faking 🥴

y/nbellingham posted a story

y/nbellingham

liked by danielricciardo and 2,311,678 others

y/nbellingham dont know where you'll land when you fly ❤

@danielricciardo

view all 21,456 comments

bellahadid judes gonna hate these photos (you look super hot)

y/nbellingham i miss you babe come home 😘

gigihadid my sister in law i miss youuu

y/nbellingham i miss you more g!! give khaia kiss from her auntie ❤ @zayn you get a hug also tell mama malik i miss her i need some paneer tikka samosas sent my way 🤤

zayn mama and khai miss you more y/n/n, samosas coming your way!

liked by y/nbellingham

danielricciardo 🏃 you stay right there

y/nbellingham but the pizza ☹

danielricciardo forget the pizza you're here

judebellingham 😐

masonmount AHAH 🤣

judebellingham i swear to god mount-

judebellingham you were right bel, im going to be shipping you some sweaters y/n/n

y/nbellingham you leave me alone

judebellingham no

jobebellingham im telling mum

judebellingham NO DONT

jobebellingham Play nice Jude. Don't make me fly out to you.

judebellingham sorry mum

jobebellingham HAHAH IT WAS ME 😁

judebellingham wait till im home.

judebxo OI WHATCHU MEAN BY THAT 🧐📸

masonmount no fighting kids 👍

y/nbellingham says you.

masonmount WHAT DID I DO?

katiebishop omfg he called her 'bel' are they dating 😭 @footballgossip

judebellingham 😐

y/nbellingham 😐

bellahadid people can have nicknames for eachother and be friends without dating. please respect boundaries and not spread fake news/gossip about me and j.

thank you.

bellshadxd respectfully shut her up 😍 yes bella!!!

danielricciardo

liked by harrystyles and 5,613,902 others

danielricciardo but baby, you are the love of my life 💕

view all 121,349 comments

judebellingham Congratulations you two wishing the best ❤ (you better treat her right or the entire england team and i will be after you)

danielricciardo I'll treat her properly as I always have 😁

y/nbellingham I'll treat him right as well 😌

maxverstappen1 Good, otherwise you'd have the entire F1 grid after you 😉 All jokes aside you two are amazing together can't wait for the wedding!

y/nbellingham neither can i! thank you maximillian!

maxverstappen1 im going to kill you @charles_leclerc

charles_leclerc I DIDNT TELL HER SHE OVERHEARD ME CALLING YOU THAT!

y/nbellingham lies he told me willingly

mclaren You two troublemakers will do amazing together ❤

liked by danielricciardo

irenoperman you lot get out of here 🔪🔪

f1fan AHAH HE DIDNT EVEN REPLY 😂

trentarnold66 I'm expecting a big wedding here y/n/n.

y/nbellingham of course t, of course 😁

taa66 you wouldve looked better w him imo

y/nbellingham 😐

taa66 im just saying!!

trentarnold66 😐

danielricciardo 😐

bellahadid 😐

harrystyles Congratulations Danny! Can't wait to meet the Mrs!

y/nbellingham I LOVE YOU HAROLD ❤❤

harrystyles I love you too Y/n ❤

y/nbellingham HE REPLIED OMG OMG

hshq We'd love to send you merch!

y/nbellingham CHRIS OLSEN I KNOW ITS YOU (also i accept! my dms are open ❤)

zayn Nice to see you here H, Congrats lil sis, can't wait to meet you Dan.

liked by danielricciardo

harrystyles Nice to see you too Z, hoping to meet Khai in the future!

zayn Of course! Text me when you're in the area, much love, Z.

harrystyles Of course, looking forward to it ❤

harryflorals Y/n, Daniel, you've somehow managed to rekindle Zayn and Harry-

onedirection 📸👀

onedxo Y/N/N I LOVE YOU FOR THIS

zsquadupdates the world is healing!!

danielricciardo Thank you Zayn!

y/nbellingham IVE SINGLE-HANDEDLY REUNITED ZAYN AND HARRY MY LIFE IS COMPLETE SKDJOEJEJTBR 😭😭❤

danielricciardo singlehandely??

y/nbellingham yes, singlehandely. if you have a problem you're sleeping on the couch.

f1 Ice cold Y/n!

landonorris how's the breeze Danny?

danielricciardo hows the single life? need a hug there mate?

pierregasly OH SHIT-

[formulinos]

Hyperfixation Corner: A Special | Undestanding (and Ranking) the Landogates

Oh, what is Formula 1 if not a concoction of men who are products of their times and women that are so much better than them. We have had our share of controversial figures, whether they gladly took the role of the villain or found themselves as a parachute for trouble. It's not different that the masses in 2021 would latch onto charismatic figures looking for guidance in these so trying times or, even worse, look for something that just isn't there as means of a distraction to the utter chaos that is the Roaring 20s of the XXI century.

This is the case of Lando Norris, milk aficcionado and McLaren-Tangerine driver. Lando is practically a child of Y2K, born in November of 2021 and carefully crafted by the British system of drivers to be one of the next generation drivers of our era. He also happens to seem to be a light-hearted boy, who just likes to drive his fast cars and play his silly little video games, but once you unpeel the outer layers, you might just be surprised. Fundamentally speaking, Lando Norris has the motorsport bravado and never shied away from the opportunities that fell in front of him, but to his demise, his loyal army of Lando fans are always by his side, ready to dissect his every move whether he likes it or not.

Today, we're going in the lions' den and ranking the most memorable out of Lando's little run-ins with the outer society, fondly called by the F1 populace "Landogates". 

Before we start, I would just like to thank the 25 Lando stans or former Lando stans that talked to me or answered the form - and to those who attempted to contact me but Tumblr is a bitch and I was also sick so there's that. Anyway, I really appreciate your help and I have learned a lot from you! Thanks for helping science!

5) Fanficgate

No, this isn't about the Reddit meltdown that happened in the beginning of the year, although that was a choice too. We're talking about December 15, 2020, when Team Quadrant posts a very harrowing tweet that will enter the annals of history.

The format is quite known: celebrity goes into social media content about him, reads everything and does funny lighthearted comments or snaps back at the haters. Naturally, all sections of the fandom go insane and start to discuss whether Lando will find out about this or about that and so did f1blr, blowing things out of proportion like one would. People started posting "Lando I'm so sorry" or "Hey Lando, if you're reading this hiiii". TBF I even think I did too, although I hit my head and my memory is glitching ever since. Anyway, the ethics of shipping Carlando were discussed, the ethics of fanfiction were discussed, the ethics of stalking were discussed, but here's the error though: Tumblr believed they were a social media worthy of recognition in 2020.

My guy wasn't even CLOSE to tumblr. TBH? Coward. It's easy to go on Twitter/Reddit, try spending one day in this Godless land. Anyway, the fact that we all suffered from collective delusion there - including those of us who knew there was no way in hell Lando would read their 50k childhood friends to lovers carlando one shot but still had a meltdown - makes it a non-entity gate and therefore, the worst ranked out of those. Overall, the people I interviewed were like "lol oop that was nothing" so, I think the fandom agrees with that one. I rate this a 1 out of 5 suggestive lando pic

4) Feetgate

This is the Funniest Shit ever and nothing will ever compare to this. The only reason I'm ranking this so low is because the following three are more based on reality, but this is the narrative I want to be included in. Absolutely legendary. 

It starts with Sylvana IJsselmuiden, Formula 1 legend (I'm calling her like this from now on) and Dutch personality. Sylvie went on a podcast called "F1 Aan Tafel" on December 7, 2020 and started dropping barz on barz about Formula 1 drivers sliding on her DMs and sending her dick pics (if you know Dutch, here's the link. The Queen of Feet starts talking about it on min 32:50 if I'm not mistaken - I heard a Leclerc in Dutch accent and I am worried). Basically, she says that Lando shoots his shot constantly on DMs and that there are talks of him sending dick pics around, so she decided to answer the last time he had hit her up and see what happens. 

Everybody gangsta until Sylvana said she photoshopped pictures of her feet to make them thicker and sent them to Lando, who responded with 'sexy feet'. Anyway, again, meltdown ensued. Some people latched onto the fact that Lando allegedly send unconsented dick pics to women (that is shit if true), some people decided to DM him their feet (this is so funny i am 10) and some people were just laughing at this, especially considering that when this came out it was really late at night for the Europeans and they would wake up with whiplash.

There were also people who tried to discredit Sylvana because she photoshops herself with drivers on her instagram. To me these look like a joke but even if she wanted to pass them off as reality, you know what? If she says she went to a bike trail with Lewis then to me that's real. She is my queen and God forgive who disrespects my queen.

Mostly, people just laughed at the fact Lando can't get no coochie and has a foot fetish because come on. Come ON. But also, the sentiment is that it's his life and a foot fetish is as normal in these days as wearing a mask to go out (I hope to FUCK no anti-maskers are reading this). The extra funny part is that Lando keeps going back to feetgate himself, by constantly talking about his socks during streams, having a foot cam (I mean, most drivers do anyway because they think it's interesting to see their feet while they play racing video games. I don't think it's even interesting to watch people play video games but well, I like to write things people will never read so who am I to judge). Here are two tidbits: one of Lando himself resurrecting Feetgate from the dead and one of Noel Miller also indirectly referring to it

This is stellar, fuck it. I rate this a 5/5 Sylvana's feet

3) Portugalgate

Portimão was definitely one of the races of all time. For Lando, it had started brightly as he was Top 3 in the first practice session (as if this meant anything) but by Qualis, we knew it was going to get real as he landed in P8, behind Carlos his beloved. The race wasn't sexy either at all, and while his teammate moved up, he actually got left behind, and by Lap 18 his race was as good as dead when he bumped with Lance Stroll, who thought the gap in Turn 1 existed. In case you guys don't remember, on Friday Lance had also had an incident with Max Verstappen on that same Turn - and tbh I think Max was just as amateur there as Lance. 

Naturally, Lando wasn't happy at the moment, using some choice words at Lance. To be quite honest I am not English, so I have genuinely no idea of the impact this has in society, but most of the Brits that talked to me were the ones who highlighted his use of the C-word while the non-Brits didn't even look at it, so that's curious. He apologises for his language at the end of the GP on radio, but boy, he was ready to go wild.

Post race interviews come, he's still not happy: "He obviously didn't learn from Friday but he doesn't seem to learn from anything he does. It happens a lot with him, so I just need to stay away," he said to a reporter who couldn't believe the gold he had just found. Later, he was also asked on his thoughts about Lewis Hamilton's incredible 92 GP Victories, a record he had just taken away from Michael Schumacher's hands. His answer was very sweet: “It doesn’t mean anything to me, really. He’s in a car which should win every race, basically. He has to beat one or two other drivers, that’s it. Fair play to him, he’s still doing the job he has to do.” (I only found the video with Brazilian commentators on top, muh bad).

He was also not done with Lance, having a dig at him on Insta:

Yeah, you can tell the major reception of this was,,,, not what Lando expected. I sincerely think he got post-rant clarity because the Twitter apology came faster than the Merc in Portugal. 

(lmao I love when people say "I am not that kind of person" in their apologies as if they weren't caught in 4k being that sort of person). To be honest, even though the wide majority of F1 fans thought that Lando was goofy as all fuck for having said the Lewis comments, there are still apologists who think that he was just saying what we were all thinking, while Lance's were just part of the game and he was in the heat of the moment, he was also raging still when he also talked about Lewis, it was a bad moment. 

To be quite honest as well, there were quite a few discussions about Lando not being mindful of the race factor when he jabbed at Lewis - some people thought he should have been, some people actually thought that for once someone was assessing the situation as it really is and that removing the "activism" part of the equation was reasonable as cars are cars, political disarray is political disarray. The Lando stans I spoke to were quite divided about this as well, more than the Lance comments and many thought he was a bitch while the rest argued that "he said what we're all thinking". 

There was still a very poignant comment about how part of Lando's identity as a media darling in Britain is that he is the anti-Lewis, and I am going to quote it here because it just…. NGL lads it gave me pause: 

"Lewis gets hate for not living in the UK and “tax dodging”, Lando lives here. Lewis gets hate for being in the best car. Lando can’t be accused of that one. Lewis gets hate for being black, I don’t need to explain that one. Some even claim he gets preferential treatment because he is the only black driver. Lewis gets hate for his clothes, Lando seems to live in black or white. Lewis active support of BLM got him criticism because he should just stick to racing, however Lando’s vocal support of BLM, his support of Mind and his genuinely sweet support and friendship with Sir Captain Tom Moore was applauded. Lewis speaks his mind, gets slated. Lando speaks his mind, gets slated by his fans but Joe public F1 fans think he amazing for speaking his mind. There are people who actively oppose his knighthood. When you see what other sport stars have been given knighthood for in this country, 5 and 6 times Olympic Gold Medalist, 2 x Wimbledon Winner and 2 x Olympic Gold Medalist. I think he’s in that elite bracket now dont you? Lando is celebrated for just not be Lewis by some Brits. Is it any wonder George keeps his mouth shut?"

I am thinking. I really didn't know Lando was that deep - and honestly after learning more about him straight from his fans mouth's I still don't, but the Lando lore does have meaning. Amazing. Either way, people cannot claim this was all one time road rage if Carlos' commented that Lando goes into terrible moods even while playing golf. GOLF. Mayhaps a therapist could help. However, since he did apologise and then managed to keep his mouth shut about Lance and congratulated Lewis on his WDC later on, one must not dwell too much on these things. I rate this one a 3 out of 5 world records.

2) COVIDgate

This was low. Like, very low. Basically, Max Fewtrell did a livestream and discussed going to Dubai for the holidays (around December 29, 2020. wow all of these really happened in like a week). Max basically made it seem as if Lando would join him and @sebastonstroll, braver than the US marines actually caught some blurry screenshots of Lando's arm and wristwatch during one of the Dubai streams (actually, that was a joke. but God liked and subscribed so I think maybe we could call it "pioneering" instead). That's all fine, I mean, places are there to be visited, except there is this little thing called a "coronavirus" or something I'm not a doctor, which means that you kinda should stay at home…. and there is like, the Law or something that kinda makes it so you have to stay at home as well. I am not an expert on any of these things, but it sounds like Somerset, where Lando lives, was in a Tier 3 Lockdown, which means "sit yo ass down", so the plate was served.

Now, it was the holidays, we were all frustrated I'm sure and overall, there wasn't a lot of meat on that beef stew for one to actually feel well-fed, so there were again discussions on the ethics of stalking, how thin was the line between stanning and paranoia and why. Most fans kinda relaxed and reached the conclusion there was no way this could be real since there was a tier 3 lockdown and Lando was just home for Christmas, but as the days went and suspicious screencaps showed up online, it was harder to discern the benefit of the doubt from denial.

Thankfully, there was no need to keep that debate going for long. Not so fortunately, that was because Lando joined the ranks of F1 drivers ahead of the game who didn't wait for the vaccine to become immune themselves.

The question that remained was: is he isolating in England, or in Dubai? Don't worry fellas, McLaren got him!

Considering Lando was as good as caught, McLaren took no time to 'fess up, and I mean, what would be the point to try and cover up if the whole purpose of Dubai during the pandemic is to be a safe haven for the rich and privileged to have parties for the 'Gram, right? However, they chose an intcheresting expression, "training camp". So, he was there for a scheduled team training camp… but he arrived there early… Ok, maybe so he could have a 14-day quarantine… except that didn't really land because if you knew where to look up you could even see his brother was in an ice rink one day after Lando announced his COVID diagnosis - and arguably as a "contact case" he should also be in quarantine. But that's fine, it's a team training camp and these things are common…. except Danny Ric didn't get the memo because he was doing a tour in Los Angeles as well. Well fuck me, then, Lando legitimate, royally, fucked that one up.

Talking to the Lando side of the website, no one was particularly happy. Doubts were raised about how people reacted to Lando's announcement in comparison to Pierre's or Charles', but like, I don't think one thing outweighs the other, and I agree with the sentiment that people were reasonably madder at Lando because he always sold the image of being a socially conscious person, while Charles' has always been dumb as all fuck and no one is really checking for Pierre, let's be honest. (well, we are checking for Pierre. more of that on #1). I asked the folks how they felt about McLaren's response as well, and the answers basically varied from "good on them" to "they totally lied to cover his ass lmao". At last, there were some valid points on how we're not entitled to know where Lando goes or what he is doing, fair, but then again, we're not exactly in the most "normal" of times, and there were a few sweethearts who were like "sincerely, I didn't even registered he had fucked up until after I digested the fact he had COVID, I was too busy being worried about him and wanting him to be healthy".  Overall, the lowest of lows, really, no one was happy. I rate this begrudgingly a 4 out of 5 covid positive F1 drivers, genuinely not taking any pleasure in this.

1) Pierregate - I'm not gonna call this anything else. Too funny.

The one personality trait I was sure Lando had prior to 2021 was that he was thirsty. Like, mega thirsty. There are screencaps as far as July 2019 of him using his official IG account to like posts of Instagram models, which to me is most pleasing and amusing. I particularly enjoyed this compilation from @opendirection that led me the right way and no, I don't think Lando should use his finsta to get girls, or attempt to. He should be clear, he is here for coochi, so am I, coochi is great.

Enter Katerina Berezhna, a model/entrepreneur currently based in Dubai, and hot, very hot. Katerina had been in Lando's radar since September 2020 at the very least. They would have regulary IG activity - very well received by the most patrician of Lando fans, as you can see and by the Abu Dhabi GP, when he said he was taken, she was the most likely candidate to the role. 

Covidgate comes and with it, some curious activity of Katerina. Seemingly, she takes down pictures of herself at the beach after the announcement and replaces them with pictures in her room, watching Netflix or doing yoga, kinda making it seem as if she was quarantining too. I don't come here, so I won't claim this is true, but I will tell you she has stories from Dubai up in her highlights and you can do the math that the yoga selfies that are up are from that time frame, so she was mostly indoors, officially at least. 

Pierre gets to Dubai around the same time and also decides to party. Not only is he seen, but he is also perceived and pics of him in a party go around, we're all like "fucking hell Pierre, wear a mask, Lando just got COVID". However, if you go to the insta highlights I linked up there, the story right after the yoga pics is a story of Katerina in a beach party… where Pierre and her got clocked at together.

This is awkward. Anyway, the math was done by the most dedicated of Lando and Pierre stans alike, but this only blew up after right at the end of January, Pear also got, as they say it in French, l'infection.

After this, we got a very hard-hitting investigative piece of journalism by @ef-1, who uncovered how far their beef went: they don't follow each other on IG and as far as February, Pierre made a point of not liking Lando posts on McLaren's profile. This gave birth to one of my favourite screenshots of all time:

(btw, here's a picture of Pierre and Katerina FACTUALLY together. I have found none of Lando with Katerina)

Pierregate ranks the highest out of them all because it just brings out the best of all these people: Pierre has a history of being petty out of nothing, Lando has a history of not being able to get any and Katerina is so hot. None of the Lando stans that came to talk to me are actually in the sector that gave a real shit about this besides amusement and disgust at the fact they were most likely kissing the same mouth during a pandemic. Either way, it's their life and none of our business……. but this is so INTERESTING THO.

I would just like to state by the way: Katerina isn't a gold digger per se just because she dated or flirted with two formula 1 drivers, but IF SHE WAS, good for her. There is nothing more girlboss empowering than a Real Gold Digger™, and you know, many Sugar Baby/Daddy relationships are based on sexist concepts, while proper gold digging is one of the most sublime forms of historical reparations out there. I stand with my fellow opportunists. Good for you. I rank this a 5 out of 5 models that Lando liked an Instagram post of.

ROUND-UP: WHAT DID I LEARN FROM THIS

Well, I'm gonna be real with you all: my opinion of Lando and his fandom was very low before talking to his fans and actually looking deep at his controversies. It seems I'm not the only one, as all the fans I talked about quoted at some point the whole toxicity of the fandom and let the steam out. While I do think people take it TOO far when it comes to him, and it's not just here, all social media involving Lando are cesspools in one way or another, I do feel like I can relate to people more. To many, Lando is a young driver that is relatable, a lot of you were in the 20s age gap (and there are younger folks of course) who just has the sort of sense of humour and concerns that we do. There is still a great identity aspect of him being a British McLaren drivers, which is so strong a pull considering this is one of the greatest teams there are and Brits have historically bred world champions, who knows, Lando could be the next one.

That being said, I still kinda don't vibe with him. Not my type. But I do hope that 2021 brings a Lando that stays in his lane for the sake of internet and because my guy could take a break. It seems he is going on the right direction and taking F1 seriously, but also I hope he doesn't try to rehabilitate his image (not that he needs to, but clearly he WANTS to rebrand) too much to the point of losing himself. Also, I did not touch on this week's drama because I even asked around and people weren't able to tell me properly what happened, so there isn't anything much. I hope he behaved well though, if he didn't then I guess it's time to update this post lol.

Anyway, I guess my point is that everyone is kinda crazy, but I do think that Lando fans are kinda cool now. I cannot repeat this enough, thank you to everyone who spared some time to talk to me and let me know the scoops. This was your girl formulinos in a redux version of the Hyperfixation Corner - stay tuned for the next one that is done, but I needed to take a proper breather from it, you'll get why soon, I hope! Screw you guys, I'm going home :)

21/03/2020 - NEW ENTRY - SEXISMGATE In the words of the great philosopher Jake Paul, "it's everyday bro". The latest entry in the Landogate compilation is a series of clips taken from streams done by Max Fewtrell (at this point laid ease, honestly, if you guys stan Max F. I recommend a doctor, ngl) featuring Lando. Just a few days ago, a very progressive conversation was had during a game session (or whatever you call it, I'm not a gamer girl) of Escape From Tarkov. The clips have been cropped around and shared by @carlandonorri-s (big shout out to you, braver than US marines etc), but I got them backed up on streamable :D. Summaries:

1) Lando says that if a girl talks to you about star signs, you should leave. They talk about a certain girl Max "never had" that could have sat down next to him one night and this elicits a strong reaction from the streamers. Lando adds "you might have been made to sit next to her one night and she might have coughed on you". A charmer.

2) Allusions to calling a girl "cowboy" and "this might not be the only snake in my boot". Max thinks it's not a dig, just funny. Lando has referred to the same person as "cowboy" and "cowgirl" in yesterday's stream on Max's page as well (rather curious how I haven't seen yet the same conversations in Lando's streams, only in Max's less famous ones lol).

I will disclaim I don't have it in me to watch full vidya streams because I don't get what's fun in them, so if there are any further clips out there, yeah they're out there <3. Kush @sebastonstroll (who also ripped the last clip I talked about! Thanks for that) whistleblew and did the post that gained more traction, there are a few commentary posts out there as well (in particular this one from @babettevdw is very neat) and overall, not a good look. I have no personal hot take from this, men are pigs and I think that's it. I was waiting for the apology tweets but to be quite honest due to the sheer volume of "but if this was a woman talking about a man you wouldn't care" and "what about that time this driver said women can't drive" I highly doubt Lando will say something as his new strategy is to lay low - and I don't give a shit about if Max F apologises or not as he will probably never do something relevant in F1 anyway let's be honest. I rate this a 1/5 incel face structure pic due to the fact that if Lando's dad didn't have any money he wouldn't even be in F1 and have the chance to travel around the globe and meet hot chicks. Chaldish.

16/08/2021 - NEW ENTRY - MEXICANGATE

We had managed to spend almost 5 whole months without a Landogate everyone, so of course that when a new one happened, it would be A Doozy.

Let's set the mood: you're rich, you're finally in a good moment in your career, you are moderately ok looking, you have freeloading friends and a instagram/tik tok girl on a yacht and it's the summer. You're at the top of the world, basically, and you and your lads still find the time to be just... whatever this is

On Instagram even. With videos too. A bit extra, I'd say.

There was already a pretty perfect post by @maxricciardo​ on the subject of cultural appropriation and why this sort of display is not humorous, just prejudicial, so I won't elongate myself much on it. I will, however, pull my "As A Latina" card and say that I'm not surprised that's in its majority, a bunch of European Lads on Tour doing this since they tick all the boxes of privileged to think it's funny to do it.

Obviously, I don't want to talk on the name of Mexicans in particular and I don't even think that it's pleasant to go and Ask Your Local Mexican if this is ok or not, but I can draw parallels with my culture and say that when there are cultural parties here and foreigners come, even people who come from the Western Euro/North American are, they are more than welcome to take part in our culture WITH us and wear whatever you want WITH OUR CONSENT under a respectful environment and context. What these guys are doing, however, is basically take a stereotype derived of years and years of humiliating oppression perpetrated by biased accounts and media and laugh it off on their little bubble. It always hurts to me when I see accounts of Brazil being talked about as nothing besides drug trafficking and sexual tourism, I don't need to extrapolate too much to think about how it feels for my fellow Latinos.

And that's another important things I want to get in, I've seen a lot of people claim this was racist, and here's a lil fun fact: we can't tell. We don't know. Our concept of race is incredibly different from the one adopted by Europeans and North Americans, who lump us all into one ethnicity ("latino") and try to tell us we're POC even though, depending on the place you're at, you couldn't tell the difference between here and Germany. This is not cool by the way, because unlike the myth that says that Latin America is a big haven for the plurality of cultures (and it is, the sheer fact we have had different colonisers, influences from a lot of countries, the indigenous presence, unfortunately the influx of African cultures too because of slavery, people who ran away from wars in their countries, etc etc), we all suffered because of "Whitening", that is, the racist insistence of making sure that people had mixed children with white people to improve our bloodline. The result is that our race is very much something we identify socially with and a lot of people who read as POC outside of Latin America aren't considered POC here. That's not to say it wasn't wrong just because "it wasn't funny". It's xenophobic, it's prejudice, it's everything else and a bit more. 

To make matters worse, I unfortunately have to talk about the reactions of the fanbase because during this write-up, I usually checked the reactions of the Landosphere and talked to Lando fans, but this time I didn't need to because a lot of them showed their asses on social media, for free. People claimed that Lando is persecuted, that it was just funny and that it made sense to wear those costumes on a Mexican-themed party, saying that if you can't do this you can't wear Lederhosen in German parties either, and that's the point innit? Germans, Dutch, French, whatever.... they WERE the colonisers. At the very least the colonies in Europe were far more comfortable and less ravaged than the Africans, the Latin Americans, and when you look around, you see the influence in Asia too and it's not a good look (again I can't speak for everyone so if any of you want to drop a comment on how you resent Imperialism etc. feel free to). You're not mocked, at the very least you get laughed a bit but you're not REDUCED to just this as part of your identity. Sorry for the lack of eloquence, it just hit a little too close to home.

So, honestly, I'm done here with the Landogates because I don't want to have to see whatever he did next - and I never needed to, I started these because they were amusing and it felt like the noise they made were not proportional to the actions of the driver, but nowadays it feels like he's having the opposite of character growth, enabled by the fans who believe he can't do any wrong or that he is just a kid. The discussion about problematic faves is a whoooole other topic, but at the very least if you're not ready to unstan, just shut up, take the L and let people rip him off for a day. Stay on your lane when you know there is no defense.

To those of you who were very nice while talking to me, thanks a lot! To those of you who stopped stanning him at some point, don't worry, there is always another driver. And to those of you who think I'm wrong etc, I suppose you're entitled to, but I also do suggest that you evaluate if it's worth it you know.

I rate this a 0/5 and I am tapping out.

[leqclerc]

I remember you mentioned that Max once gives Nora a Red Bull cap and Charles loses it so now I was thinking... RB making their own set of those temporary tattoos for kids that just wash out after a while.

Seb is with Nora in the Red Bull hospitality and someone tells her about the magic tattoos that you make with water and she's like ohhhhh 👀 I want one too 🥺 and Seb eventually caves, "But just a small one!"

Fast forward to a couple of hours later, Nora runs up to Charles and she wastes no time in telling him that she got a tattoo!!! and of course Charles panics because what? a tattoo? she's a kid? and Seb immediately reassures him that it's just one of those temporary ones but then Nora actually shows her arm to Charles and WHAT THE HELL SEB A RED BULL LOGO???

Nora doesn't really get his reaction and just asks, "Don't you like it, papa? It's not pretty?" and Charles's heart can't take his little girl looking even the tiniest bit sad so he tells her that it's very pretty, papa was just being silly (and then he glares at Seb who's finding this whole situation way too amusing)

Oh my god, what a fantastic ask :screms: 

Tbf Seb has been spotted hanging around with his ex-employer so it’s not that much of a reach. I don’t think I’ve thought much about who the other Red Bull driver is in this AU (I’m open to suggestions) but whatever, let’s say Seb stops by. And of course he’s got Nora in tow. 

Gosh, I miss those tacky temporary tattoo things! Makes me almost want to pick up some bubblegum next time I go out shopping - the kind where the wrapper has a small tattoo on the inside. I used to love those things so 10/10 I understand her, lmao. 

God, they 🥺💕 Of course she immediately runs up to him and wants to show him and just like sticks out her arm or hand or wherever it is and asks what he thinks of it. And gah, him freaking out hearing she got a “tattoo” - like this is the guy who jumped out of a plane without telling his employer. ansdjfg But he hears that and he’s just like :panik: Also I got hit with such a vivid mental image of Charles shooting Seb a look over the top of Nora’s head. Something like this:

Ah, him not wanting her to be sad so he assures her that of course it’s very pretty and - “papa was just being silly.” SCREAM. 😭🥰🙈 Gosh I love them so much. 🥺 I love how he puts up with so much shit just for her - Red Bull merch, getting stuck ‘adopting’ a formerly feral one-eared Italian farm cat called Enzo (as in, named for Enzo Ferrari), taking in a tiny mixed breed stray dog that Nora insists they call - wait for it - Dog. It’s a lot. But he does it all for her. 🥺 And of course Seb’s endlessly amused but also goes all soft seeing Charles interacting with Nora and like pushing his own dislike for his main title rival aside and putting her first. 🥺 Maybe if he justifies it as like, this is the team that allowed Seb to win his four titles then he’ll feel better about it. 

Also this AU is making me wonder how !papa Charles would inadvertently end up shaping Ferrari going forward. Like he goes off on a rant about how parents shouldn’t have to choose between wanting to drive a Ferrari and dropping their four kids off to their after-school activities and this gets out and like. Lo and behold, Ferrari’s suddenly making SUVs? Making advertisements aimed at families? Maybe once Nora starts making semi-regular paddock appearances they decide to focus more of their attention on kid fans and like, kid merch. Hell maybe they make their own little temporary tattoo collection to rival Red Bull’s. Maybe they make a Ferrari version of McLaren’s Tooned so kids can learn about Ferrari’s history via cartoons. Who the hell knows 🙈

[estebanbicon]

☕️ mercedes won’t replace valterri with george yet because they have the perfect no. 2 driver in him. rarely kicks up a fuss about his situation, still delivers decent results (poles, podiums etc.) without ever really getting in the way plus boosting their constructors standing chances. also have a feeling george would crack under the pressure initially at least - his williams is built for him alone really whereas this car is built for lewis (think dan to mclaren vs lando) plus as much as he idolises lewis I don’t think he’d be as prepared to just sit back and be the no 2 which would obviously cause a few issues once he’s geared up and can get close enough to challenge him. I think merc know how good they’ve got it, why would they change that?

tbf i am not a fan of either bottas or george as option?

as we see this season, bottas did once disobey team orders and he also cannot really keep up with red bull, which might cost mercedes the wcc.

and george should first gain more midfield experience before being thrown into a top team imo. and i also don't know how he will handle a teammate beating him considering he can outdrive nicky pretty much every race.

the main reason i could see the change is that merc thinks of the future and preparing new drivers to come in for when lewis r-words, and it is better to have lewis guide a new driver now and bring another one in later, u know?

not a fan of either option aldsdsk but bottas cannot really keep up with rbr now and merc will def try to change it, i think.

send me a ☕️ and an opinion (popular or unpopular)  

[itgirlgasly]

Ah alright thanks for explaining! Tbf I think some other drivers might’ve been able to win championships too in that car (seb maybe, I can see Russell getting there too in a few years) like Mercedes is just way faster but you’re still gonna need the talent to drive consistently/not make mistakes and generally be a good person to the team, fans etc. So I mean he’s kinda right but it doesn’t take away from Lewis’s insane talent and the fact that he absolutely deserves it 1000%

no problem im always glad to help!!

and ppl tend to forget that lewis has been winning with mclaren too... and val is in the same car and isnt winning every other race either. lewis and the mercedes is just the ultimate combination and its crazy to watch.

[scudelia55]

GOOD GOD WHAT

A series of events unfolding

So… landoscar cosplay soon?

[vro0m]

Hey idk if you are still doing the whole "how lewis breaks his teammates" essay but if you are, I just want to say as someone who has been watching f1 since I was a kid and seen almost all of lewis career, mercedes is a huge factor in it (noticed how you mentioned button wasn't so affected by it and that comes down two reasons 1) pre-mercedes hamilton and 2) button being able to read his teammates very well and seeing how paranoid lewis was) but really the kind of toxic environment of mercedes to sacrifice anything including their drivers mental health for greatness is what makes lewis the way he is like he was quite young when he first got to mercedes and toto wolfe who has spoken about how he likes to psycho-analyse his drivers in the past saw what button saw, an extremely talented kid who was due to his past of racial abuse and bullying was paranoid and mistrusting as he saw enemies everywhere and him and the team used that to their advantage (merc have done their best to erase it but a lot of the first cracks from lewis and nicos relationship collapsing came from inside the merc team like them telling the drivers different things in the hopes of making them more competitive and better drivers which it did tbf, but then it spiraled and even merc couldn't control the monster they created but they still got the results they wanted in the end) merc took a different strategy but we still see how they shaped everything in regard to lewis and valterri as teammates in which they did offer better support to lewis (not because they realised it was the right thing to do but because after 2016 with nico it became evident that putting lewis in that extreme of a competition causes him to be more reckless as a driver and he is more successful if he is not in that situation) but they completely mentally destroyed bottas and sacrificed a lot of his potential as a driver in order to do that (again you have to remember that mercedes no.1 priority is and always have been to be the greatest and the idea of having a driver with the most wdc was mouthwatering to them and they would have it no matter what the cost) it is hard to say what with happen with lewis and george as the car wasn't good enough this season to warrant the usual merc mind games with their drivers but mercedes shaped lewis into the legend he is today but they also shaped him into the worst teammate (huge lewis fan but not so much of mercedes if that wasn't obvious haha)

Hey Anon!

First of all thanks for the interesting message. I sat on it for a few hours to think it through before I answered because there's a lot of things there, and a lot of things I hadn't considered before.

In short, I don't agree with you. But let's walk through it one thing at a time.

(Congrats, in the end you managed to make me practically write the entire essay but hey, I'll still do it better and more methodically someday.)

So yes, I said Jenson wasn't affected as much. I don't think it has anything to do with Lewis being "pre-mercedes" though. You know when in 2012, after getting beaten by him in quali in Belgium, Lewis posted sensitive telemetry on Twitter? He claimed Jenson had a new rear wing while he didn't himself and said he was losing 0.4 on the straights. (In 2016, Jenson claimed the data wasn't even from quali but from simulations.) Pre-Mercedes Lewis, if anything, was more unhinged, in my honest opinion. Already paranoid and playing mind games. Also way more immature. If it didn't affect Jenson, from my point of view, it's rather because

Jenson is remarkably (and unusually) well balanced mentally for a Formula 1 driver but even that is directly linked to

Lewis wasn't competitive while they were teammates.

The only year he was still in contention for the title in the last race while they were both at Mclaren was 2010, and it would have taken unprecedented circumstances for him to win it. Jenson wasn't threatened. The stakes were the lowest they've ever been in a situation including Lewis in F1.

Now don't get me wrong, it doesn't mean I think Mercedes are good guys.

Lewis does sacrifice a lot for his career, but I don't believe it's something Mercedes created. He was willing to give a lot from the start, I believe in part because he feels indebted, notably to his dad and family, and also because he felt (at least at some point if not still) like he had a lot to prove as a Black man from a humble background. Also let's not forget his mental health wasn't good to begin with, that's not on Mercedes, as what I said about his time at McLaren showed. As far as I can tell, Lewis has always been fragile on that side, that's how it is, that's how it is for most of the drivers tbh, and that honestly kinda almost goes with the job profile. It's not even just F1 : competitive, professional sports are honestly terrible for the athletes' mental health. People are not built to withstand that kind of pressure and scrutiny and highs and lows. Also let's not forget that although he sacrifices a lot, he's been criticised for years by people claiming he has too many ventures and interests outside F1 and he's not focused enough. I obviously disagree that it's a problem, but he does indeed have a lot of other things aside from F1, so it's not like he's completely engulfed in it like some other drivers are or have been and he's devoting his entire time and life to it. As far as F1 drivers go, he's pretty much doing whatever the fuck he wants, actually.

I do think his work ethic and vision and need for grandeur and Toto's entered into some kind of resonance when they met and it intensified the whole thing a lot. (Btw let's not forget that in some ways, just like Lewis, Toto had things to prove as he also went through some hardships of his own and it also feeds into that resonance between them but that's not the subject.) I also do think winning raises expectations, yours and others. I do not buy into Lewis being or having been some kind of manipulated puppet at the end of Toto's arm. Lewis is far from stupid. Toto is a great entrepreneur who knows how to make money out of things and people and that's what he came to do, despite their current extremely exasperating "we are a family" communication campaign. Lewis knows that, he's not naive. Lewis is also a capitalist. Lewis is also in it in (non negligeable) part for the money. Lewis is great at negotiating his contracts and making as many bucks as he can out of this. He's not a victim being used, he's getting his good share out of the deal, both in fat checks and in titles. I know you didn't say that wasn't the case but I'm putting it out there as a way to balance the way I feel you painted their relationship in your ask, like Toto is this mastermind using his drivers, when in reality his drivers, and namely Lewis, are there for a reason and know what they're doing and getting out of it as well.

Yes, Mercedes used Nico and Lewis' rivalry. Undeniably. Niki said it loud and proud, that putting two competitive drivers into the same team pushed them to be even better. However, you claim the issues between them first "came from the inside". I'm not saying it definitely isn't the case but unless you have some actual receipts for that I'll treat it as nothing more than a rumour. I don't think they needed to conspire to build that rivalry, the rivalry was already there in their karting days. They didn't need to feed the flames, the fire was burning. Of course they didn't do anything to tame it down because it was profitable indeed, until it wasn't, and then they did actually try to take measures. The rivalry spiralled because that's the only thing it could do.

Lewis and Valtteri are a different thing entirely from my point of view. For the record, I haven't watched 2017 and 2018 yet but I started watching in 2019 so I did see more than half of what happened there. I wouldn't put it past Lewis to have given Toto some kind of ultimatum after what happened with Nico in the form of you put me first or I'm out, or something to that extent. Or they decided to do it anyway without him asking because as you said, it was more profitable to preserve him rather than rattle him. Anyway, I don't think they voluntarily destroyed Valtteri.

I think Valtteri came into it thinking he could win and then realised he couldn't. Both because Lewis was clearly although implicitly their n°1 driver but also and mainly because beating Lewis when he's doing well (aka not as he was during his McLaren days) – as we saw with Nico like Anon pointed out the other day, as Valtteri said himself when he departed, as Kovalainen also talked about recently – is practically impossible. Literally. Of course some of it is incredibly hard work on his part, but the fact is, even when his rivals try to work as hard as he does, they fucking can't do it. Honestly, it's like Phelps webbed fingers or something, he's truly built different.

As for Lewis and George... Well yeah. There's potential for drama there. But again, I don't think it's due to Mercedes in particular, I truly don't believe they're voluntarily pitting their drivers against each other as you seem to claim. Generally speaking F1 drivers don't need that to be extremely bent on beating each other. Teams tend to rather have to tune it down than to feed it to protect their assets, including Mercedes. As we established, rivals crashing and burning, metaphorically and literally, is definitely not profitable. So if drama there is, I don't think it'll have been generated by the team. George is a young up and comer with loads to prove, tons of potential, who could get a whole career out of it in the most competitive team in history. Lewis is the best driver in the world, he's been robbed of the ultimate proof of that, and he's also nearing the end of his career and running out of time to get that ultimate proof, whatever he says and however much we don't want it to be true. There's plenty enough at stake there for the drama to spawn by itself without being manufactured by Mercedes.

Conclusion : Lewis is the worst teammate not because Mercedes made him that way but because he is genuinely unnaturally good.