#he hung my sibling over a cliff as a gag once

[ratspider]

my name's been changed for a few years now and my dad *still* doesn't use it. my sibling and i are both nonbinary and it's like he makes a point to call us by our birth names. i think he thinks he can get away with it because i haven't actually discussed it with him yet, but NOBODY who knows me calls me that anymore, or uses she/her for me. my *mum* uses my chosen name with him and he still doesn't do it. it's not an awful, unbearable situation. it doesn't keep me up at night, and he's like this about everything, and even worse when you correct him. he's *so nice* to people who aren't his family. he's a good, helpful friend, maybe a bit forgettable, says yes to doing favours a bit too often, but that's just because he wants to help everyone. but i know it's all bullshit. he's helpful, but he doesn't follow through when it's us. he's fun to talk to, but it's like walking on eggshells trying not to offend him. the only reason we have a relationship is because i was the only kid he wasn't abusive to. he's just. annoying these days. he doesn't really give much of a shit about boundaries, and establishing them with him leaves me shaking and crying. there's two sides of me, one that loves him because i know his love for me is unconditional, the way a parent's should be, and one that knows why it is that way, and knows The Way He Is. the parts of him other people don't see, that he only ever gives to us. i tell older adults that i love my dad, but i don't like him, and they say 'oh that'll probably change with time, haha' because they don't. Get It. he threatened to take off the lock on my bedroom door, but with my older sibling, the WHOLE DOOR came off because he was throwing a little tantrum. i convince myself i'm wrong about him sometimes, that i'm just being too sensitive, but i know that's not true. it's always little things these days that sound stupid and petty to be THIS upset about, but i know i'm right to be, and i know i'm right to stand up for myself. it just suuuucckkssss