#he himself has changed and has grown to care about neku. even if he may not have realized it initially

[heartless-curr]

something that i feel like goes suprisingly underacknowledged in the twewy fandom im regards to the final game between neku and joshua is that, in a sense, neku has to choose between himself, and between joshua. he had to choose between their worlds and existences — not just in regards to what happens to shibuya.

the loser *should* have been erased — the only reason neku wasn't was because joshua changed his mind. this wasn't just a battle about who gets the right to do what they want with shibuya, it was a battle for who gets the right to *exist*.

if i'm being honest? in that moment, i highly doubt that neku was thinking of shibuya — how could you, when you have a gun pointed at you by your friend who you had related to more than anyone else, you're thinking about the fact that you've been betrayed and you're in a life or death situation and fuck am i really supposed to kill him???? i can't do that. how am i supposed to do that. neku mourned joshua, neku grew from it, neku blamed himself for it (survivor's guilt × 2. new achievement unlocked!) only to now figure out that he was alive.

that's the beautiful thing about neku's character development, however. the neku of w1 would have killed joshua. hell, even the neku of w2 probably would have killed him — and joshua knows this.

the neku at the beginning of the game would have NEVER chosen joshua over himself, he would have never given up his world — his very existence — for someone else — much less someone who annoyed him as much as joshua did. and joshua actively tried to push him further into this sort of mindset during week 2 — encouraging his self actualization loop, because he didn't think that neku (or himself, really), was capable of change. joshua wasn't in shibuya during week 3 to see how beat changed neku.

joshua wouldn't have been able to guess that neku wouldn't have taken the shot.

that's the beauty of the writing and of the ending. the player and joshua expect neku to take the shot. we saw what he did to shiki week 1. but he can't. neku sakuraba went from "fuck the rest, you keep your values, and i'll keep mine, i don't need other people", to willingly letting someone kill him because he valued them too much to kill them.

yes, in the larger sceme of things it's about the fate of shibuya (which is a whole other topic when you consider how shibuya is essentially a reflection of joshua but i digress), but on a more personal level, it's about what neku values more in that moment. does he value his friendship with joshua more than he values his own life.

neku by all means should have chosen himself over joshua, but he didn't.

i think that's why it touched joshua so much.