#he helps me disinfect it afterwards each time

[sohya]

souya heavily gets on his touchy agenda when i come home w my nipple piercing

[the-whispers-of-death]

Just thinking about my COD OC "Stone" and how after several months with the 141, he'd tell them his real name: Vikram. This one's long.

Price is the first and the way Stone tells him to call him by his real name is the most casual of them all. Stone had been in Price's office, handing him a stack of medical reports on the bi-monthly check-up the 141 has to do so the SAS knows they're still fit for duty. Price, as always, says, "Thank you, Stone."

And Stone just replies with, "Vikram."

At first, Price is taken aback, because while he knows Stone's real name (he has access to Stone's military file, after all), he wasn't expecting to be able to use his real name. But outwardly, he's calm and cool, repeating the sentence but with Vikram instead of Stone. Afterwards, when Stone has left the office, Price spends an hour just saying "Vikram" over and over again, memorizing the way Stone had pronounced it so he can correctly pronounce it next time.

Soap is sitting in the infirmary after one of his demolitions projects for the SAS had injured him, the smell of disinfectant covering up the small traces of blood that permeates the air in the infirmary. He's wincing at how not-gentle Stone is when wrapping his slightly burned arm, even though that has never changed in the months Stone has spent with the 141.

"Aye, Stone, be gentle, will ye? I'm a sensitive lad," Soap jokes, trying to get the soft huff of amusement Ghost always manages to get from Stone. At the very least, he hopes he gets Stone to be gentler.

Stone does not wrap the bandage gentler, but his usual cold voice is softer when he says, "Vikram. My name is Vikram." He sounds so tender, evidence that Soap had burrowed his way into Stone's cold heart.

And Soap has the brightest grin on his face as he repeats Stone's name. And then he annoys Stone by saying it over and over again, getting a playful nip from Stone in retaliation because Stone really has started using biting as a way to show his affection.

The way Stone tells Gaz his real name is when they're surrounded by others. Gaz and him are in the supply depot, Stone just having helped Gaz get something from the higher shelves.

"Thanks, Stone. I really appreciate you helping me out every time," Gaz says, too focused on what else he might need from the supply depot to realize just how intensely Stone is looking at him.

Stone's voice is a whisper so no one else who's around can hear him as he murmurs, "Vikram."

And Gaz's brown eyes flitter up to look into Stone's own brown eyes, a smile making its way onto his face. "Vikram," he repeats, his voice also a whisper. "Beautiful name, mate. Suits you."

In pure Stone and Ghost fashion, the way Ghost hears Stone's real name for the first time is when they're both awake in the middle of the night. They both struggle with flashbacks, so they often find themselves in one of their barracks, one roaming the hallway of the barracks to get to the other. And they often cuddle each other, needing the closeness to go back to sleep.

So Ghost and Stone are laying side by side in Ghost's bed and Ghost is spooning Stone, Stone's larger body in his arms. "You're safe here, mate," Ghost whispers in the dark, his gruff voice tender. "I got you, Stone."

"Vikram," Stone says softly, too vulnerable tonight to hear his callsign from Ghost. And he doesn't miss the way Ghost's hold on him tightens, his touch still tender though.

"Vikram...." Ghost tests the name out on his tongue, sighing wistfully of how it rolls off his tongue so easily. He buries his head into the crook of Stone's neck. "Call me Simon then, aye?"

So Stone does, both of them saying each other's real names so softly, so tenderly. Side by side, just two broken soldiers.

Reblogs are welcomed & appreciated!

[dark-frosted-heart]

Roger Barel Main Route - Blind Love Chapter 21

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this. I’m doing this for archiving purposes and you can probably find a better translation out there.

If I cleared the final trial on the robin growth map, then I would formally be Roger’s lover—

While I was excited about this new goal set for me, I was ignorant to the seed of sorrow that was sprouting.

Alfons: I wonder if that man’s revealed something important to Kate.

Elbert: Something important?

Alfons: The cost that comes with that man’s egoistic way of life.

Despite the lack of wind indoors, the curtains far down another hall fluttered.

Jude: …

Alfons and Elbert didn’t see the other man walking away.

--

—Roger and I started working making an antidote for the condemned.

Roger: Here’s the research materials I took back from the doctors and Privy Council.

I couldn’t help but feel relieved to see that all the files were back safely.

(Roger’s been seeking after this important information since he was a child. It’s basically his life…)

First learning about the Cursed while going through his father’s research at the clinic, interacting with the cursed Alec, and then, being cursed himself, joined Crown. 

These materials on his desk held his life’s work.

Roger: We can make an antidote with this.

Kate: Yes.

I held my breath as the means of condemnation began to form in Roger’s hands.

Roger: First—

Kate: If it’s the drug written in this note, then I already got the chemical from storage. I’ve disinfected all the equipment we’ll need too!

Roger’s eyes widened at how I had already prepared everything without being prompted to.

Roger: …O_O

Afterward—He ruffled my hair like usual.

Kate: Woah…That’s enough!

(I say that, but I still smile with happiness…)

Roger: I give praise when it’s due. That’s my policy. As expected from my dog, assistant, and partner. Hmm, you’re growing into quite the good man.

Naturally, I couldn’t be happier hearing that.

Kate: It’s not like I'm doing this for you, Roger.

I was aware that a grin was forming as I talked back.

Roger: Who’s the one wagging her tail here when she gets praise and a pat on the head.

Kate: I-I don’t have a tail!

Whether I want it to or not, our banter tickled my heart.

(He can give such a sweet smile, but he doesn’t make it easy for me to become his lover)

(I’m curious about what Roger’s “Final Trial” is about)

(Regardless of what it is, I’ll clear it!)

I pumped myself up…but then I realized something.

(That’s right. I want to be Roger’s lover)

When we first met, Roger didn’t believe in love while I was the opposite, so I didn’t think we’d ever fall in love.

(...Now Roger is all that’s on my mind)

Roger: What’s with that cute look? You thinking about me?

…Yes. +4 +4

Don’t be so conceited.

N-no reason!

Roger: No excuses this time?

Kate: Because I don’t have one…

Roger: *sigh* Damn it, I’d love to just make love to you.

Kate: …

I remembered the feeling of Roger’s lips, fingers, and his burning hot…The blush I thought had died down came back.

Roger: But abandoning everything for that would be a waste. I’ll just have to enjoy it after everything’s taken cared of.

(...That’s enough)

I covered my burning face with my hands and Roger chuckled.

Roger: Besides, it doesn’t sound like it’s just gonna be the two of us any longer. —I can hear them outside the door. Ellis and Liam.

(Huh?)

As if on cue, two embarrassed faces appeared from the other side of the door.

Liam: We were just waiting for the right time to see if you needed help…Are we interrupting something?

Ellis: You can go ahead and kiss or do something more if you want. We don’t mind.

(T-they heard everything!)

Kate: You two might not care, but I do!

As I said that, I smacked a grinning Roger on the back.

Kate: Let’s get back to making the antidote!

Roger: …Ow!

And so…Roger and I continued refining the antidote. 

We kept ourselves in the basement for several days, slowly losing our sense of time, and Crown’s members each took turns to check up on us.

--

Liam: Kate, Roger! How’s the research going? Wow, those are some dark circles you two got there.

Ellis: Are you alright? Have you been sleeping?

Kate: Yeah, we’ve been taking turns sleeping so we’re fine.

--

Some were concerned, while others brought food…

Victor: I brought my special meat pies. They’re very nutritious and you can eat them with one hand! And here’s lemonade. I’m assuming you’re still abstaining from alcohol?

With everyone’s encouragement, we were able to refine the antidote while referencing the materials. 

—But every time we got a step closer.

Roger: …Ah, this isn’t it. It’s incompatible.

Something was stopping us from finishing the antidote.

(Roger looks so troubled…)

Kate: …What’s wrong with it?

Roger: The doctors and the Privy Council used my formulation documents. If they followed it, then we should be able to make an antidote. Doesn’t seem to be the case though.

Kate: …Maybe there’s something not in your documents that they included.

Roger: Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking…Did they combine my research with “someone else’s”? Hmm, I don’t know!

Roger scratched his head in frustration…and then leapt out of his chair.

Roger: Alright, let’s take a break, Kate.

Kate: Hehe, I agree!

I looked up at the sky for the first time in days and saw the full moon shining as bright as daylight.

--

Kate: Wow, it’s so bright out. And we haven’t had such a big meal in days!

The food laid out on the table was all prepared by Roger—

From liberally seasoned chips to chicken stew to a calorie-dense dessert of biscuits stuffed with chocolate and cream…*

All of these dishes were appetizing to the exhausted mind and body.

Roger: Eat your heart out.

Kate: Okay, thank you for the meal…! Mmm, it’s delicious! I don’t know what seasonings you used, but the unique taste is really addicting!

Roger: The stew’s really tasty too. It’s a Barel family favorite.

(Roger said he has four younger siblings)

(Perhaps he helped his mother out with housework in place of his busy father)

Kate: You’re pretty good at cooking meals for Ale, so were you in charge of cooking back at home?

Roger: Something like that. I took up cooking so that I could eat what I wanted. As you know, food’s necessary when fighting against despair.

(Ah…)

~~ Flashback ~~

Roger:  I know you got a lot of things on your mind that make you anxious. But it’s times like these where you gotta work on yourself. Eat, sleep, play, laugh, recharge your energy. Otherwise you’ll easily get swallowed up by despair in this darkness, lil’ lady.

~~ Flashback end ~~

…I remembered the first time Roger took me to a bar.

Roger: Eat whatever you want, as much as you want. Human brains should be releasing happy hormones.

Kate: Oh, so it’s my brain doing that? I thought I was happy because I was full.

Roger: There’s also a thing called the satiety center**...Oh, Jude. Want some?

I looked back and saw Jude about to enter the dining room.

Jude: Some strange people actin’ so carefree while eatin’. I don’t want this souvenir, so here.

He tossed a stack of papers onto the table.

Kate: …What is this?

Jude: That guy will know.

I looked over at Roger and saw him staring at the stack of papers.

Roger: This is…

Seeing how surprised he was, I followed his gaze and saw— 

Kate: Research Material on the Cursed. Researcher, Alexander Taylor. Are these Alec’s research materials? Really…?

Roger: Yeah, it definitely is. It’s Alec’s handwriting. Back then his research materials were confiscated by the police. Jude, how’d you get this?

Jude: Make no mistake. Just a souvenir I stumbled on and didn’t want. Those guys at Gracefield Royal Hospital that’re close with the Privy Council were pretty helpful. They did a lotta schemin’ to get drugs for their research. They dunno who’s turf they’re on.

Apparently they incurred another’s wrath.

(Let’s not ask for more details…)

Roger: So with their crimes exposed, you took the chance to enter Gracefield Royal Hospital. Then you found Alec’s research and brought it back? I already told ya it was a coincidence. Not repeatin’ myself again, quack.

(If we compare the materials here to the results of the antidote we were refining…)

Kate: Roger, it’s possible that…!

Roger: Yeah, those guys combined mine and Alec’s research materials to synthesize a drug that would get rid of curses.

Kate: I thought so! Then with this research material,

Roger: We can make an antidote. …Never thought I’d meet Alec in some way “again”.

Roger looked happy, like he met an old friend.

Kate: Thank you, Jude!

Jude: So annoying. Thanks don’t amount to anythin’. I’m feelin’ thirsty.

Kate: Eh?

Jude: Fetch a drink for the guy who saved the day, will ya? 

(Normally I would have talked back)

Kate: Got it! Please wait a moment.

--

I borrowed a bottle of wine from the kitchen and headed back to the dining room.

(After this, we’ll finally finish the antidote)

There was a pep in my step as I felt a ray of hope in my chest.

(Also…I’m glad Alec’s research wasn’t used for some weird purpose)

There’s no doubt Alec had the same ambitions as Roger while researching the Cursed.

If Alec’s materials had been used for ill intentions, Roger would feel the most anger.

Roger getting hurt was more heart-aching than getting hurt myself.

(That’s why I’m gl—)

Jude: —You’ve been shortenin’ your lifespan by testin’ on yourself.

(—Huh?)

-

*chips being french fries and biscuits being cookies here

**Satiety center: The ventromedial nucleus of the hypothalamus, which signals fullness

[call-me-a-simp]

Heal My Wounds

Tell Her (Part 3)

Rhea Ripley x Reader

Tw: physical and sexual abuse, toxic relationship

Summary: You are in a toxic relationship with an abusive man but manage to run away. A tall, black haired woman picks you up from the streets just in time so your ex doesn't get you. But who is she and why does she seem so familiar to you? As you get to know each other you start to notice weird feelings you never had before whenever she's around.

As you begin telling her everything she spins around to face you. As you reach the point where he raped you for the first time your voice cracks and you begin to cry again. Sobbing violently you continue talking. Demi steps over to you, pulling you into a hug.

You just stand there, arms wrapped around each other, her stroking your back to help you calm down. "Hey, shh, it's okay, he won't hurt you anymore" the tall woman whispers into your hair. Eventually you let go of her and take a paper towel to dry your tears and blow your nose.

"We should go clean up those wounds while the noddles cook" Rhea says and throws them into the now boiling water. She puts her hand on your shoulder and leads you to the bathroom where she takes out a disinfectant and some pads.

You just stood there awkwardly, watching every move of her. "What are you waiting for? Go on, take your shirt off or don't you wear anything underneath" Rhea laughes. You did as she told you to, although you felt uncomfortable showing her your body. There was a reason you preferred to wear oversized clothes.

You reveal countless bruises, bite- and scratch marks from your ex. Demi takes a moment to look at you and you instinctively cross your arms in front of your body in order to hide it. She moves closer to you, carefully grabbing your arms and gently pulling them away. "You don't need to hide from me, I was just shocked at what he's done to you." she says in a soothing manner. You nod and she strokes your arms up an down a few times before grabbing the disinfectant and the pads again and begins cleaning your wounds.

After your done cleaning the cuts Rhea walks to the kitchen to drain the noodles and you go to get a new Shirt from the backpack you left in the hallway next to her suitcase. When you come back into the kitchen Demi is already waiting for you. She set up two plates with Pasta and sat down on one of the chairs around the kitchen isle. You sit down across from her and she smiles at you.

Once you were finished you helped her clean up. "That was so delicious Rhea, you need to give me the recipe to the sauce you made!" She chuckles at that. "I will, wanna watch a movie now or are you so tired you wanna go to bed?" she asks. "Let's watch a movie then." you say and follow Rhea into the living room.

She picks out her favorite scary movie. You didn't like scary movie, you always had trouble sleeping afterwards and were haunted by terrible nightmares. But you didn't dare to say anything as your ex always got really mad at you for questioning his actions, so you just sit down and try not to show her how scared you are.

You sit there quietly your legs tugged up against your chest, hiding your face behind them whenever you thought there might come a jumpscare. Rhea notices you are flinching at every little sound "hey, what's wrong? We can watch another movie if you like" "N-no it's alright, I'm good" you respond.

The movie ends and you sit on the Couch, huddled together and trembling. Rhea scoots closer to you, embracing you with her muscular arms. "I'm sorry, it was a stupid idea to continue this movie. I shouldn't even have chosen it in the first place." You shake your head "no it's okay, it's my fault if i'm such a scaredy-cat"

You make an attempt to stand up but Rhea pulls you back down. "Don't say that, it's no ones fault if someone is scared of something, it's completely normal." You just groan at her response. "I'd like to go to bed now." you say, freeing yourself from her grip on your wrist.

Demi sighs and stands up, "come on then, you can sleep in my room. I only have one bedroom so I'll just spend the night on the couch" she says. You nod and follow her. You didn't like that she gave up her bed for you but you didn't dare to speak up, being scared she might get angry at you.

"There you go, the bathroom is right here" Demi points to a door next to the bedroom. "Let me just get some of the stuff I need for tomorrow, then I'll leave you alone" she grabs some clothes and heads into the bathroom to get changed. You get your bag and close the bedroom door behind you.

You tug yourself into the bed wearing only a t-shirt and panties. Thinking non-stop about what had happened today you slowly drift off to sleep.

---------------------------------------------------

This is part 3 of my series Heal My Wounds hope you enjoyed, part 4 will be coming soon! If you have any wishes or ideas for future parts of the Story, leave them in the comments.

Taglist: @thatonepansexual2000

[hobiebrownismygod]

Heyyyy, friend.

This is kind of a personal request, slightly triggering to some people, but if you're willing (will completely understand if you're not) can you write head cannons for how ever many spider people you want seeing readers self harm scars for the first time?

Don't feel pressured, it's a hard topic to write. Take all the time you need,

Stay safe and I hope you a happy time

I wasn't sure if you wanted romantic or platonic, so I wrote romantic, since I tend to be better at it 😭 I hope you enjoy it! As always, thank you for requesting <3

Hobie Brown ✰

Hobie Brown was absolutely devastated. When he saw you pull up your baggy sleeves nonchalantly, revealing fresher-looking scars on your wrists, he immediately grabbed your hand, looking at it with a shocked expression on your face. He didn't process it at first, refusing to believe that his sweet girl/boy would ever think about hurting themself. The next thing he'd do is pull you into a hug, not even letting you explain yourself before his body completely enveloped yours and he was holding your face with his big, slightly watery eyes. "Why would you do this?" He'd whisper, giant hands covering yours as he ran his fingers over the mostly healed scars. "Promise me you won't do 't again, sunshine." he'd tell you, voice dropping and tone turning serious, something you rarely saw on him. "Don't hurt yourself." And when you'd nod, swearing you'd try to stop, a slight smile would spread across his face. "You know I love you, right?" He'd proceed to not let you out of his sight for the following weeks, just to make sure his darling was staying true to their promises.

Miles Morales (1610) ✰

Miles Morales wouldn't ask you upright. He'd stay silent about it for a few moments, trying to think of a way to talk to you about them without seeming like he was prying. Eventually, he'd coax you into telling him why exactly you'd hurt yourself and when you opened up, he'd nod silently and listen, absorbing all the feelings, all the pain, like the empath he was. He'd be so calm about it, big brown eyes fixated on yours, being the most tender and sympathetic towards you, although he was always like that. He'd make you promise to seek help, no matter how much you hated it. Afterwards, he'd do as much research as he could to find ways to make you feel safer, more loved, reading about it so much he practically became a licensed therapist overnight. When you'd try to brush his advice off, he'd practically shove his sources into your face, saying "Trust me, chocolate is supposed to make you feel better!" and etc, to the point where you had to make him promise to start doing his work, because he'd been focusing more on helping you than on his own classes.

Miles G. Morales (42) ✰

Miles G. Morales would understand. He'd had thoughts of his own at some points, following his dad's death. He help you bandage them up properly, show you how to disinfect them so that you didn't develop sepsis or some horrible infections, before gently kissing your hands and wrists all over, promising you, "it'll feel better soon." He'd make you lay down next to him, rubbing circles into your back and shoulders while you rested your head against his chest, just enjoying each others' presence. After a little while, you'd start opening up about it to him, and he'd kiss you on the forehead in between breaths, making sure his sunflower felt as loved as humanly possible.

Gwen Stacy ✰

Gwen Stacy would respond to seeing them with visible anger. Her voice would raise slightly, turn a little squeaky as she fought to stop herself from getting too emotional, knowing it might scare you. She hated the thought that her favorite person was hurting themselves and she blamed herself for it a little as well. She'd think to herself, maybe if I was a better girlfriend, they wouldn't feel the need hurt themselves. Maybe I wasn't loving enough? Caring enough? She'd overthink it to the point of it turning into a painful topic for the both of you, but once you sat down and had a conversation together, one that she tried to avoid for as long as possible, the night ended with the two of you cuddled together, laughing and crying in each others arms as the emotions simply spread out around you. You'd end up talking about this night for days to come, and it would only strengthen the love and bond between you two. After all, you were her rock, just like she was yours. You needed each other.

Pavitr Prabhakar ✰

Pavitr Prabhakar would be so terrified that he'd accidentally escalate the situation into an even worse one, begging you to let him take you to a hospital, even if the wounds weren't fresh. You'd tell him you were okay and that going to a hospital wasn't necessary but he'd be afraid to the point where he'd simply toss you over his shoulder and make his way towards the door. However, after seeing how much you didn't want anyone to find you, he'd begrudgingly sit you down, holding your hands in his and asking a million questions per minute, asking, "Why would you do this to yourself? Is it because of me? Are you okay? How long have you been doing this for? Does it hurt? Why didn't you tell me before? Have you told anyone-" etc, to the point where you literally have to close his mouth with your hand so you can explain yourself. At the end, he'd simply make you promise to never do it again, going as far as to have you sign a written document (that he scribbled out himself), just so you'd feel really bad if you ever tried to harm yourself again. For the following weeks, he'd keep looking at you weirdly, leaning over and taking your hand randomly to check on the scars and see if they were healing and to check for new ones, just to make sure you were sticking to your promise. "I can't let you hurt yourself, meri jaan-" he'd tell you. "I need you."

Please remember, self-harm is a serious topic and if you know anybody who is self-harming or is potentially considering suicide, or if you yourself are doing these things reach out to professionals and seek help. https://988lifeline.org

Taglist: @lauryn2558 @d0ubl-tr0ubl3 @vileviale @itsparis-07 @niqetine @daydreaming-en-pointe @l0starl @spiderrinn @therealloopylupin2099 @s6onder

[niragiinborderland]

Partners in Crime - Niragi x Fem!Reader

Another thing plucked from the depths of my brain. 3.4k words of fluff, maybe some angst (Chishiya makes an appearance). Reader is a militant again. Enjoy.

masterlist

Warnings: head injury (reader), mentions of blood, guns, a knife, general aib themes. 

Your eyes stutter open, blinking a few times to adjust to the light that seemed oddly harsh. A figure shaded your eyes as An crouched over you, intently studying your forehead and prodding it, eliciting a hiss of pain from your mouth.

“Ah what the hell?!” you griped, flinching away and realizing you’re lying on the floor of the executives meeting room with blood seeping out of your forehead. 

“She’s alright, although she probably has a concussion.” An stated, ever so eloquently.

You drag your body into a sitting position and the pounding starts in your head, grimacing as you try to gather your thoughts and figure out what the hell happened. It was a routine meeting after the games to take stock of the cards, you’d arrived earlier because you hadn’t participated in a game, you sat down crossed legged in your chair and waited for the others to file in – Kuzuryu was already here, then Mira came in, followed by An, Chishiya sprung up at some point, Aguni stomped his way in followed by Last Boss and… Niragi.

Niragi, who entered every room in the same manner as a tornado.

Niragi, who was too high off adrenaline from the win in his last game for his own good. 

Niragi, who swung his gun around so often you’d think he’d have a good grip on the damn thing and wouldn’t drop it, accidentally shooting out part of the ceiling and knocking you out.

You and Niragi were acquainted enough, often doing guard duty together and being tasked with disposing of traitors, you even drank together often enough. Some would say you were thick as thieves, but you were just similar enough to get along – both of you just as unhinged as the other, enjoying the fear you incited as two of the most ruthless and fearsome militants simply wandered the halls – it had built an unspoken mutual respect. Despite all of that, he never ceased to amaze you sometimes.

“You’re a fucking idiot,” you seethed “why couldn’t you just put the damn safety on like everyone else!”

“Quit your whining it was an accident,” he replied, bending down to try and help you up “c’mon let’s get you clean- “

“Don’t fucking touch me” you cut him off, pushing him away.

“Extra feisty today, huh?” he teased, chuckling at your frustration.

You shifted slightly and used the solid wooden table to hoist yourself up – the part of the ceiling that had come down wasn’t even that big, but it hit you in just the right spot to put you to sleep and make the world spin afterwards. Noticing your struggle, Niragi wraps his arm around your waist and places your arm around his neck to keep you on your feet – you didn’t resist this time, suddenly too exhausted to put up a fight.

He guided you back to your room and eased you onto the bed where you sat for a minute, Niragi rummaging around in your bathroom. As the pain spread through your forehead and pulsed in each temple, you counted yourself lucky that you still had some days on your visa – this was definitely going to take a couple of days to recover from. Niragi re-emerged from the bathroom, warm hand towel in one hand and what you hoped was disinfectant in the other, as well as a bandage. 

You shuffled around as he sat and motioned for you to face him, towel at the ready, pressing it against the wound to loosen the congealed blood. An exasperated sigh escapes from you at the sensation – you could feel the threads of the towel dragging through the cut like calloused tentacles. Opening the bottle of disinfectant, he douses the towel and grips your chin between his thumb and index finger to steady your head. A series of curse words and ow’s stream from your mouth, as he clumsily cleans the wound. 

“You could just take me to An, you know?” you stated.

“That’s a really weird way of saying thank you,” came his sarcastic reply, “calm down, I’m almost done. Plus, that basement gives me the creeps – kill people sure, why not? But keep their bodies to dissect? She’s gotta have something wrong with her.”

“Thank you for the concussion, Niragi,” you falsely beamed, “I appreciate it so much!”

He rolled his eyes at your sarcasm and applied the bandage with narrowed eyes, intent on not letting it wrinkle or stick together. Although going to An would likely have been more comfortable and a hell of a lot quicker, it was rather endearing to see confident Niragi fumble over such a basic domestic task.

“I’m sorry, okay?” he began, “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

You looked at him for a second, caught off guard by his abrupt sincerity, before giving him a small eyes-closed smile accompanied by a small chuckle.

“I know you didn’t, it’s okay. Thanks for patching me up.”

“Don’t mention it, princess” he smirked, standing up to put the medical supplies away.

You lie down on the bed, the sharp pains melting into an all-encompassing ache and your eyelids feeling like cinderblocks. You didn’t even notice him come out of the bathroom, or the burning gaze he set upon you as you lay there so peacefully.

“You need anything else?” he asked, as if it would be such an inconvenience to aid you any more than he already had.

Man, he really must have felt bad.

“No, I’m good. Now get out so I can get changed before I fall asleep in my clothes” you retorted, hoping he wouldn’t mistake your playfulness for maliciousness.

He didn’t, of course. He knew you just as well as you knew him.

“Alright then. Goodnight, princess” he waved over his shoulder while making his way out of the room. 

_______________________________________________________________________

Rifle slung over his shoulder, Niragi made his way down the halls, shoulders back and head held high as people cowered and shuffled by him. He loved that feeling – inducing such fear by simply existing, the power to turn that fear into sheer terror should he choose – he relished it. But it felt different today. It felt… hollow. 

Maybe it was because there hadn’t been a lot of traitors to kill off lately – another thing he cherished – with everyone dumb enough to dare betray the Beach already gone. Or maybe it was the absence of a second set of footsteps, perfectly in time with his, making his presence known even sooner with the sound. Or the “what the fuck are you looking at”s that sharply sounded off if someone dared linger their gaze in his direction for half a second too long. Or the absence of the vanilla and coconut smells that so often wafted around him, dancing delicately in his nostrils while he waited in anticipation for his next confrontation. Or the lack of dark giggling ringing in his ears as peopled sheepishly shuffled by. 

Niragi stalled for a moment, hand rubbing over the lower part of his face as if trying to physically expel the daze from his head. 

“Missing your partner in crime?” An apathetic voice questioned.

Niragi looked up, taking in his surroundings for the first time – a familiar door to one side and the inquirer to the other. 

“The fuck are you talking about?” Niragi snapped back.

But he knew. He knew guard duties with you were less bothersome, the time flying by as you terrorized people together in the most deranged manners possible. He knew you’d help clean up the mess you’d both made during the latest cleansing of the Beach’s population. He knew he could speak his mind to you because you’d often voice his thoughts before he did, as if plucking them straight from his brain. He knew you’d join in his drunk escapades because you were as daring and thrill-seeking as he was. He knew that if he found himself in front of Hatter or Aguni, facing serious punishment for taking it too far, that you’d be right there beside him – using your cunning mind to get the both of you off the hook. That’s exactly what you were – partners in crime. 

While he could admit that he wouldn’t dare admit that your absence was the reason for the scowl that adorned his features.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell your secret” Chishiya quipped.

“I don’t know what you’re yapping on about, but I know your room is on the other side of the hotel, so what exactly do you think you’re doing over here?” Niragi seethed, the mere sight of Chishiya pushing every button on his silky shirt.

“Well, An was concerned about Y/N’s condition due to the fact that she passed out immediately after the impact and suggested to Aguni that someone monitor her condition overnight to make sure she’s still conscious” the blonde stated matter-of-factly.

“And you expect me to believe that Aguni put you in charge of that?” Niragi scoffed.

“Actually, I overheard the conversation – both An and Aguni are too busy, so I volunteered.”

Niragi’s blood boiled. He hated this man. He hated that he acted like he was so above everything and everyone. He hated the way he spoke like he was the smartest man in the world. He hated that he couldn’t intimidate him like he did with everyone else. More so, he hated that you were so indifferent to Chishiya – that you borderline liked Chishiya. 

“He’s mildly interesting – funny sometimes too” you’d said once, while Niragi ranted and raved about how he despised him so.

Niragi was not about to let Chishiya step even a foot closer to your door. You were his partner in crime, and partners always had each other’s backs.

With a swift stride forward, Niragi was face to face with Chishiya, the barrel of his rifle pushed directly under his chin.

“You’re out of your fucking mind if you think I’m letting you go in there, who knows what you’re plotting in that scheming mind of yours” Niragi hissed, steam practically spurting from his ears.

“I’m not scheming, just want to ensure the health of one of our longest serving militants. A thank you for the service” Chishiya replied, not batting an eye.

“Piss off before I paint the ceiling with your brain you little rat” Niragi threatened. 

“Alright then,” Chishiya stepped back, taking his hands out of his pockets for the first time during the whole interaction to raise his arms slightly, “just trying to help.”

He turned on his heel, hands returning to his pockets, and walked away.

Smart ass bastard. He didn’t respect you; he didn’t want to help you; he didn’t know the first thing about you – let alone how to take care of you. Niragi wasn’t sure if he knew how to take care of you either, but he was damn sure he’d do a better job than that runt.

Niragi moved to your door, hand lingering on the doorknob for a moment before turning it and carefully opening the entrance to your room just enough for him to slip through. His hand didn’t move from the turned position, ensuring no unnecessary noise was made, as he closed the door behind him.

He was in. But what was he supposed to do now? 

As he stood in the dark, he realized he hadn’t quite thought that through. 

They wanted to know you were conscious right? How’s he supposed to do that while you’re asleep? Does he have to wake you up? He must have to wake you up, right? Whether you have a pulse or you’re breathing or not, he needs to check that you’re functioning. Okay so he needs to wake you up, fine.

He made his way over to your bed, putting the safety on his rifle and laying it on an armchair, and stood beside it – you were always a bit snappier when you hadn’t slept well, and he wasn’t looking forward to being the cause of you losing those precious minutes.

He watched you as you slept – your back to him, hair freed from its usual tight ponytail scattered across the pillow, moonlight spilling in from the window at just the right angle to dance across your skin and highlight your features, mouth slightly agape and cuddled into a blanket. His breath hitched for a moment as a strange warmth sprouted in his chest, you looked so different. So peaceful. 

His arm reached out to your sleeping frame as if by its own free will, hand heading to your waist to awaken you from your slumber. But before it could get there, a harsh grip on his wrist brought him back to reality – now here he was, almost lying on top of you with his hand pinned down and the knife you keep under your pillow pressed to his throat. Both of your eyes wide, just staring for a moment, not a word being said – you were definitely functioning just fine.

“Jesus Christ Niragi,” you sighed as your grip loosened and the blade was lowered, “what the fuck are you doing in here?” you asked, exhaustion evident in your voice.

“Well,” he stood up, straightening his shirt “An was worried you’d black out again and suggested someone come check on you through the night to make sure you’re not in a coma or something – so here I am” he finished, sitting himself on the edge of the bed.

“Figures they’d send you in” you let out a small chuckle.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he questioned, defensiveness in his tone.

“Nothing? We just do everything else together – makes sense they’d make my partner in crime look after me” came your genuine reply, making him un-tense his body and ears perk up at that phrase.

You thought that too?

“I’ve been hearing that a lot lately. I guess we are partners in crime, huh?” he smirked at you.

“Yeah, something like that” you said quietly, hiding the slight embarrassment you felt from acknowledging the bond the two of you had.

You sat up in the bed, your tank top clad upper body exposing a few of the scars that littered your arms and shoulders – one from a game, the rest caused by your own personal chaos. Despite the display, you looked a far cry from your usual self as sleepy eyes and an exhausted body softened your demeanor. 

“So, how many times can I expect to be graced with your presence then?” you questioned him.

 Niragi noticed the contrast and couldn’t help but steal a glance at you. You didn’t look weak like many others would if he’d caught them in this state, as you sat there with hair flowing around your shoulders and body basked in moonlight, baring yourself to him without even so much as a sharp “get out” rolling off your tongue. He marveled at the view as you sat across from him. 

“Hey, stop staring at my tits and answer my question” you demanded, bringing Niragi back down to earth from wherever his mind had wandered.

“Have you never seen a girl in bed before or something?” you teased, knowing full well he had, but wanting a rise out of him anyway.

Of course, he had. Girls latched onto him like babies on a bottle wherever you two went, his good looks and bad boy attitude making them drool so much you had to watch your step to avoid slipping over. But he’d never seen you like this. So serene, so beautiful – angelic almost. 

“Shut up,” he rolled his eyes at you “not exactly much to look at there anyway” he lied, shifting his gaze off you.

You chuckled as your comment reached its desired effect, while he just shook his head at your entertainment.

“So?” you said, raising your eyebrows at him as he looked back at you, raising his own eyebrows back at you in mutual questioning.

Your head cocked slightly to one side as he continued to withhold his answer.

“How many times do you have to check on me?” you finally broke the standoff, surprised you had to spell it out for him.

Niragi realized two things: first, he was too busy looking at your stupid face to hear the question the first time and second, he had no idea. The answer being a detail he didn’t even think to obtain in his fit of rage.

“A few times I guess” he answered without thinking, hoping you wouldn’t catch on to the uncertainty in his voice.

“Okay” you replied simply, not questioning the conditions of his aid.

You shuffled over in the bed, clearing a Niragi sized space and fluffing the fresh pillows underneath you.

“What are you doing?” Niragi asked, his face twisted in confusion.

“If you’re going to check on me that often you may as well stay in here so you can get some rest too – you get extra snappy when you’re tired and I already don’t feel like dealing with it tomorrow” you replied. 

He didn’t move from his position on the bed, still confused but shock creeping its way in as well. You wanted to have a sleepover?

“Are you sure?” another question falling from his lips surprising him, uncomfortable with his own uncertainty.

“Yes, now hurry up and lie down so I can go back to sleep” you huffed, settling yourself into the bed as your heavy eyelids closed themselves.

“Alright, don’t get your panties in a twist” he retorted, pushing himself up from the mattress.

He walked over to the armchair, plucking his rifle from the armchair and dawdling slightly as he made his way back to where you lay, still not quite sure of the arrangement – not that he was complaining. 

Metal clanked against wood as he propped his rifle against the bedside table and bent down to take his shoes off.

“You better have the- “ 

“Yes, the damn safety’s on, chill out” he finished your sentence.

You smiled as he took the words out of your mouth. 

The bed dipped under his weight, his body fully clothed and on top of the blanket. He lay on his back with his hands interlocked over his chest, staring at the ceiling, not quite sure what to do – this was the first time he was unsure if you shared the thoughts running through his head.

“What are you? A vampire? Who sleeps like that?” your eyes were open now, entertained by the sight in front of you.

“I thought you were going to sleep?” he replied, clearly not as entertained as you.

“You can get in the bed, you know? You’ll probably sleep better that way instead of this Dracula impression you’ve got going on” you answered, giving him an ‘it’s okay’ look.

Niragi complied, peeling back the blanket and shuffling in, lying on his side this time. You were facing each other now, still a distance away but the closest you’d ever been. Not even close to touching, but close enough that you could feel the warmth spreading through your body. Comfortable in each other’s presence, yet the tension could have been cut with a knife.

“I’m glad they sent you to do this” you broke the silence.

 Niragi’s heart damn near stopped. 

“Oh yeah? You miss me that much?” he smirked at you.

“More like we’d be cleaning up a dead body tomorrow morning if they’d chosen anyone else” you replied, your gaze meeting his. 

“Good” he replied, a smile tugging at his lips.

Your comment wasn’t out of character, but it was confirmation – you were his partner in crime, and he was yours. And that was enough.

“Goodnight, princess” he ended the conversation, nothing more to be said.

“Goodnight, Niragi” your eyes closing, contently falling asleep.

 ______________________________________________________________________

Your eyes fluttered open, blinking a few times to adjust to the gentle sunlight that painted the room. A black and white curtain surrounded your vision, an arm resting gently around your waist and warm air tickling your forehead. Your eyes drifted upwards to look at the head of the dark mass that engulfed you – Niragi, eyes still blissfully closed. 

“Good morning” he greeted, not moving an inch.

“Good morning” you returned, lying still. 

“How are you feeling?”

“A bit better, I guess.”

“That’s good.”

Neither one of you broke the embrace, you just lay there – you and your partner in crime finding something new to relish in together.

[fangirlwriting-stories]

Dam Still Holding

Summary: After patching Danny up from a nasty fight, Tucker spends the night to make sure he's okay.

Author's Note: Fun fact, I did originally write this for seasons skirmish, but then I'd realized I'd gotten away from the prompt too much for it to fit, so I'm gonna take another crack at that prompt, and you all can expect another short Danny Phantom fic sometime in the near future, but for now have this!

...

Tucker wakes with a panicked gasp, which is just unfair, honestly.  Sure, he has the aversion to hospitals and medical procedures, but Danny was the one who had to have a giant gash in his chest sewn up, and Danny’s snoring away in the bed next to him.

Tucker drops his head onto his knees and takes a deep breath.  Danny’s the one who got hurt, and Danny’s fine, he shouldn’t be reacting like this.  But he can still feel his hands shaking as he threads the needle, and knowing that he has to steady them or he’s just going to make things worse for Danny, who’s lying unconscious in front of him.  He remembers wishing that he’d told Sam no, she actually can’t go on that family vacation, he knows she’ll hate it anyway please stay here he needs her, he’s going to need her because Danny’s about to get himself torn open again in another ghost fight and Tucker can’t help with that he’s terrible at it—

Tucker takes a couple staggering deep breaths, and apparently it’s loud enough to wake Danny, because he feels a hand on his arm and a gentle voice saying “Tucker?”

Tucker lifts his head to find Danny looking at him, obvious concern on his face.  As soon as he sees Tucker, his frown deepens, and he reaches over and wraps his arms around him.  “Hey, I’m okay,” he murmurs.

Tucker pulls Danny in closer with a mumbled “Sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Danny says.

“No, I mean, you’re the one who got hurt,” Tucker says.

“Hey, you’ve never done this before,” Danny says.  “I’m used to patching myself up.”

“That doesn’t make it better.”

Danny shrugs and gives a sad smile.

“I’m alright,” he says.  “Heart still beating and everything.  Well, half the time.”  He gives a lopsided smile to Tucker, and succeeds in making him laugh.

“How do you do that all the time?” Tucker asks.  “With the blood and the disinfectants and the needles.   And I’m not even in pain.”

“I just got used to it I guess,” Danny says again.  “And it doesn’t hurt as bad anymore.”

Tucker gives him a disbelieving look.

“Really,” Danny says.  “The scale’s kind of… adjusted, you know?”

Unfortunately, Tucker does know.  His mom talks about that sometimes, that patients with chronic pain tend to have a different pain scale, and she’ll have to give them a pain scale with qualifiers for what each number means whenever she asks how much it hurts.

The fact that one of his best friends uses a similar kind of pain scale is something Tucker has never been comfortable with.

“Did I do an okay job?” Tucker asks quietly, because if he thinks about that for too long he’ll just start shaking again.

“For the first time you’ve done it?  Yeah,” Danny says.  “It’s clean, you used the right stuff that I can’t phase through, and you stayed with me afterwards to make sure I was alright.  Even though you’re not good with medical stuff.  Thank you, Tucker.  Really.”

Tucker looks Danny firmly in the eyes.  “It really doesn’t hurt that badly?”

Danny winces, and Tucker knows he has him.

“I’ve had a lot worse,” Danny says.  There’s a not insignificant amount of bitterness in his voice.

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“Well, what would you do about it anyway?  It’s not any worse than normal.  I’m gonna be fine.”

Tucker sighs, and leans forward until he can pull Danny into a hug.  “I know,” he mumbles.  “I just hate seeing you get hurt.”

“I’m okay, Tucker.”

Another thing his mom tells him about her chronic pain patients is that they’ve gotten used to ignoring the pain most of the time.  That it’s more of a background hum, but sometimes little things can set off a breakdown that seems to come out of nowhere, when they’re tired of being in pain all the time and want it all to stop and it won’t.

And sure, Tucker hates medical stuff.  But he can look out for Danny.  And he knows what it looks like when his best friend is close to a dam breaking moment.

But it’s also late, and they’re both tired, and Tucker has a feeling pushing Danny tonight won’t end well for anyone.  He’ll just have to make sure to be there for Danny when he’s needed.

So for now, Tucker says, “Okay,” and lays back down on the bed.  Danny lays down next to him, and Tucker wraps his arms around him without thinking, though being gentle of the injury on his chest.  Danny wraps his arms around Tucker too, probably thinking Tucker’s asking for comfort instead of offering it.  Well, maybe he’s doing a little of both.

It certainly helps him to fall asleep listening to Danny’s easy breathing and feeling the rise and fall of his chest.  He hopes it helps Danny too.

[alumort]

Ao3

qpr nejilee for the soul ~

Often, Lee still went on long missions with his friends– Tenten had a weapon shop to attend to, yet the Hokage still needed her skills from time to time. Neji and him were the ones to usually go side by side against anything, knowing well nothing would happen with each other’s help.

Alone, they were skilled Jounin. They were unstoppable together, and Sakura knew it well. Perhaps that was why they had been teaming up for a while… Lee was content just by being able to spend more time with his rival, who just tagged along after their job was done, knowing well the other man wouldn’t complain.

Neither of them was sure of when that had started– Neji had pretty much moved to his home one day, and the taijutsu master was happy with that. Although, he didn’t really like how his teammate would worry to no end about him, as the brunet would fuss about his injuries and that he should be ‘more careful next time’.

So Lee tried to not startle him, not telling him about his pain– although, he was sure the Hyuga would still figure it out. Or rather, he already knew, judging by the bandages and soap on his hands.

“Come here, we need to disinfect that,” Neji ordered in a whisper, and his rival just pouted, still following him to the bathroom in no time.

“I am alright, Neji! You do not need to worry,” Lee reassured him, though the brunet didn’t listen and instead grabbed him a chair to sit on. “I can do it on my own…”

Neji looked at him in the eyes without saying anything, serious as usual, yet he could tell there was worry in his gaze even though nothing was said. Lee couldn't push him away… so he sat down and allowed him to see his wound, taking off the upper part of his jumpsuit to make it easier.

He felt his cheeks warming up as his rival examined his abdomen, his ribs– right where an enemy ninja had stabbed him by surprise. Lee had made an attempt at taking care of the injury, but it had been rushed and the bandages had fallen off after a while. Neji let out a sigh and opened up the faucet, gently placing some lukewarm water on his skin.

“You did try,” the brunet commented as he cleaned the wound, though Lee wasn't able to look him in the eyes. “Lee, you know Sakura has been teaching me about this. Why didn't you ask me for help?”

That was true. But the thought of Neji touching his skin like that, gently caressing him with chakra… Lee felt shy just by imagining it. And now that it was actually happening, he couldn't even look at his rival anymore.

His face burned. The brunet was now applying some soap to wash blood off, focused on his task without saying much, humming every now and then.

Neji was serious about helping him, and he didn't want to distract him. Not when he was so… close.

“I will be fine, Neji. I have gone through worse,” Lee said after a while, once his rival began using a healing jutsu on his skin– Neji ignored him and wrapped him with clean bandages, letting out a soft smile once he was done. “Ah– thank you…”

He still couldn't look at the other man for long, although he had no way of knowing what his rival would do afterwards, when Lee expected it the least as he dressed up once more.

A pair of lips on his forehead made him blush even harder, and Lee was speechless. Neji didn't seem bothered by it, only observing the area of his wound to make sure it didn't bleed through his clothes.

“I know you're strong– the strongest man I know. But you don't really do a good job taking care of yourself,” the brunet joked, getting up to walk away, though Lee kept him in place with an unexpected hug.

Nothing out of the ordinary in their routine. Sometimes they slept in the same bed, and they exchanged a kiss or two, and Lee would always be shy and full of joy whenever such affectionate gestures took place. Neji wasn't afraid of showing how much he cared anymore, and he just gave in, hugging his rival back without saying anything at all.

[whumpinggrounds]

Firmware Update

Previous

CW: male whumpee, male whumper, lab whump, light gore, blood, cutting, surgery ish? vivisection honestly sorry T

It’s early when the door swings shut behind Wagner. T is in the gym, regaining muscle he’d lost in the weeks he spent lying on his back, gasping for air. The clock built into his system rouses him every morning at five, at least an hour and a half before any of the team straggle in to test or observe. Usually, he has that time to be alone, to complete whatever assigned list of tasks the team has left him with. Today, clearly, he will not be so lucky.

“T. Here, now.” Wagner snaps his fingers and points at the floor, and T attends to him, obedient as a dog. Looking him up and down, Wagner’s lip curls, and T imagines that’s a reaction to the sweat running off him, gluing his tank top to his chest. He doesn’t comment on it, just barks out another order. “Follow me.”

Once more, T obeys, following Wagner from a featureless room loaded with exercise equipment into a featureless hallway. Both of them have been down here long enough to know what lurks behind each closed door, and the farther they walk down the hallway, the more nervous T becomes. They’ve passed his room. They’ve passed three testing arenas, including the maze room. They’ve even passed the airless, humming closet where the team keeps massive monitors and drivers and servers, different things to hook up to the mechanical parts of T, so they can look at the insides of his circuitry, make his body hum with borrowed electricity.

The only things left ahead of them are the showers, the surgical suite, and the door to the outside. When they pass the showers, T comes to a stop.

Wagner isn’t checking his progress, so he keeps walking until he arrives outside the surgical suite. Then, he looks back to find T a good few paces behind him, and he scowls. “Get over here.”

T’s lips are dry. He wants to gulp down the lump in his throat, but Wagner would see that. “Team member Daniel Wagner not cleared to remove asset from secure containment level-”

“I’m not removing you,” Wagner snaps. Despite his irritation, a smirk manages to twist his face. “You’re due for a firmware update.”

This time, T can’t help swallowing. He knows it’s visible, and he sees Wagner’s eyes widen at such a prominent sign of nervousness. T isn’t supposed to feel things like nervousness. “God, you’re getting soft,” the tech scoffs. “Get over here, robot. Now.”

“You…sir, Doctors Zhu and Pool perform firmware updates-”

“Yeah, well, I know all the theory.” Wagner shrugs. “How hard could it be?”

The smile he sends T’s way is eager and cruel. Moving like a condemned man, T walks slowly toward him. He steps past Wagner, through the door, and into the surgical suite.

Elsewhere in this underground warren, the walls are plain concrete, no time taken to dress anything up. In here, the floor is tile and the walls are coated in some kind of slick white plastic. It’s easy to disinfect. It’s also easy to spray down. There’s a sink, and a hose nozzle, and a drain set in the floor.

Next to the drain, there’s a table.

It’s also white, so that anything spilled on it will show up, stark and visible under fluorescents. There are restraints in each corner. There’s an IV pole standing by, trays of instruments. Everything gleams, slick and clean like new, under the glare of bright and unforgiving lights.

Behind T, Wagner shuts the door.

Little harm has come to T in this room. Dr. Zhu and Dr. Pool, and all the doctors who came before them, are experts in their field. They work quickly, efficiently, minimizing damage, minimizing discomfort. Most of the time that T is in this room, he’s unconscious. His brain has a sort of sleep mode, apparently, that doesn’t even require anesthesia. They knock him out with a line of complex code, and then there’s no struggling, no change in heart rate, when they cut into the meat body or make additions made of metal. Afterward, when T wakes up, there’s discomfort, sometimes. What Freddy would call pain. But the surgical suite itself is nothing T has ever had cause to fear. After all, he hardly knew what fear was.

But now he’s alone with Wagner inside of it, and he’s never seen quite this look on Wagner’s face.

“On the table,” Wagner orders, and silently, T obeys. He begins to strap himself in, slightly proud of the steadiness of his hands, but then Wagner growls at him, and slaps his hands away. “I’ll do that.”

He tightens the restraints until the leather creaks. T reminds himself to breathe, deep and slow. That just deepens Wagner’s scowl.

“I’m not scheduled for any firmware updates.” T doesn’t know why he’s trying, but the words slip out, almost unintentional. “You are not authorized to perform unapproved firmware updates-”

When Wagner slaps him, it’s not unexpected, but it still knocks T’s head to the side. “You never used to argue with me,” hisses the tech, as he tightens the final restraint around T’s wrist, so tight that T can feel the blood flow cut off. “Fucking wonderboy Freddy Taran and his big fucking ideas. He’s ruined you, you know that? He’s ruining you, and no one else sees it.”

Strapped down, back pressed against the slick metal surface of the table, T heaves in quick, hard breaths, because he can’t control the heave of his lungs anymore. Freddy, ruin him? He thinks about the tech, his feathery brown hair and easy smile and eyes so constantly concerned. He thinks about Freddy talking about emotion, the way he moves his hands through the air when he describes something he can’t find the right words for.

Freddy couldn’t ruin anything. Least of all T.

“Giving you ideas.” Wagner is still muttering under his breath. “Contradicting your programming. The only brain in your head is the one I put in there, you got that?” He glares down at T, teeth bared in an ugly scowl. “Do you understand?”

“I understand.”

“Sir!” Wagner smacks him so hard upside the head that T sees stars. “You used to call me sir.”

“Sorry, sir.”

They can both hear the false note in T’s voice.

Lip curling, Wagner snatches a scalpel, seemingly at random. T’s entire body is tense, held rigid against the restraints, against the metal table beneath him. He takes deep breaths, reminds himself to breathe deep and even. He relaxes his body slowly, intentionally, with great dedicated effort.

None of that helps when Wagner cuts into him.

The scalpel is sharp enough to slice through his skin, but not sharp enough that it doesn’t sting. T draws in all his breath in a hiss through his teeth, and Wagner grins, all teeth and too-bright eyes. The scalpel presses in just above T’s breastbone and then draws down, down, toward T’s bellybutton. The feeling is hot, searing, a tearing pain that has T tense and gasping against the metal table. Wagner frowns.

“Not deep enough,” he mutters, mostly to himself. He sets the point of the scalpel back at the top of the wound, prepared to press the blade in again. That’s when T passes out for the first time, the world fading into dizzying black spots.

He comes back quickly, fully alert, to the feeling of pain washing over him in huge, ripping waves. “Welcome back,” Wagner smirks. One hand is still holding the scalpel – and he’s not even wearing a glove, not properly scrubbed in. Dr. Pool would have his head.

The other hand holds an iPad. There’s a cord attached to it, one that snakes toward T’s head. It must be plugged into the port in the back of his neck. Which means that Wagner has a direct line to his brain. He’s stimulating nerves to wake T. Whatever surgical procedure he has planned, T is going to be awake for it.

Gritting his teeth, T tries to brace for the next stroke of Freddy’s scalpel. The pain comes in a wave so overwhelming he feels nauseous, and then dizzy, and then nothing.

He blinks awake again. “Stop doing that,” Wagner chides, but he sounds amused as he does. Tossing the scalpel aside, he scoops up a probe and then he’s digging it into T’s chest.

Blackness again.

The bright fluorescent lights, and T blinking through so much pain he can’t help catching his breath, crying out.

“Don’t be a baby,” Wagner lectures. He keeps probing, and T keeps succumbing to the seductive blackness. When he wakes – and every time, he wakes – it’s to unending, unendurable pain. For a while, T bears it, the way he bears everything, because it’s his only option. Lights, pain, helplessness, black. Lights, agony, helplessness, black. It cycles so fast he can’t catch his breath, barely has time to recognize what’s happening. Lights. Confusion, terror, unbelievable agony. Realization. Horrifying understanding.

Black.

It feels like it will go on forever. T will cycle and cycle until he loses what little sense he has from the pain and the fear and the goddamn helplessness. He just takes it, and takes it, and goes on taking it.

Then, abruptly, he no longer can.

There’s a river of red flowing out of T’s chest onto the table. Out of the corners of his eyes, he can see the flash of metal circuitry and the pink of viscera. Bile rises in T’s throat, and he thinks he’s going to pass out again and get just those few dark seconds of blessed relief.

Instead, his heart rate ticks up. His breathing comes faster. All over, his body begins to itch as he starts to sweat. He’s – he’s lost too much blood.

The realization comes slowly to his meat brain. His mechanical components have already gathered this information, processed it, set off audible alarms in T’s ears. There’s one beeping, steady and slow, out of a speaker set into his shoulder. It’s a warning. A dire one. Still poking around in his chest, Wagner waves one hand distractedly at T.

His hand is soaked in blood. It’s running past his glove and onto his wrist, long crimson trails bright against his pale skin. T’s blood is running straight down Wagner’s skin, and the tech doesn’t seem to care. Horrified, fascinated, almost hypnotized, T watches the blood drip. His breathing comes faster, faster, faster. The beeping in his ears is hard, fast, insistent. Climbing slowly into a wail.

“Stop doing that.”

Wagner’s voice is distracted. T keeps hyperventilating. The edges of his vision are going dark, and his body is starting to tremble against the table. The discarded scalpel rattles.

“T, I said stop.”

T opens his mouth, not knowing what he’s going to say. An explanation? A plea for mercy? The only thing that comes out is a strangled gasp. Glancing up sharply, Wagner takes in T’s pale face, wide eyes, the beads of sweat that stand out on his forehead. Startled, uneasy, he drops the probe, reaches for T’s face. He stops before his bloody fingers can make contact, and they hover there, inches from T’s forehead.

“T?”

He sounds far away, echoing.

“T!”

Now he sounds alarmed.

“T! Robot! Stupid fucking thing-”

There’s a stinging in T’s neck, a whining in his ears. Wagner must be trying to force-wake him using the port on his neck and the hardware in his head. It isn’t working. The room grows dimmer and dimmer, and then, like closing a door, T’s world goes entirely, finally, blessedly dark.

@whumptober, @whumptober-archive

@stab-the-son-of-a, @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump, @redwingedwhump, @ocean-blue-whump, @impalasexual, @i-can-even-burn-salad, @sadcatjae, @whump-cravings, @kawhump, @pumpkin-spice-whump, @winedark-whump, @whumpingmydarlings, @maracujatangerine​

[bella-goths-wife]

Part 2 to slashers with a crybaby s/o?

Of course! :)

Slashers with crybaby S/O part 2

Michael Myers

Michael walked into your shared home and instantly knew something was off.

You usually skipped to the door to greet him with a smile and tell him how much you missed him but today you were no where to be found

He’d been gone for just over two weeks which is the longest he’d been gone for in your relationship

He searched the house for you and finally found you wrapped in the bed sheets. Your face was red and your eyes were puffy

Michael froze and only came too when he realised you were asleep, he sat down on the bed and tried to gently shake you awake

But Michaels gently is the equivalent to a gorilla shaking you awake, so instead of waking up gracefully, you shot up from the bed and head butted his chest

At first you remained still in his arms and then you started sobbing uncontrollably and thrashing in his arms

He tilted his head as if to say “wtf are you doing?"

You looked up and said

“I-I thought you (hic) l-left me” you sobbed out and grabbed his arms

Michael rolled his eyes before remembering why he’d left to kill in the first place, you had gotten into a fight and he (silently) accused you of crying for attention before he stormed out

He glared at himself in the mirror and cursed his insensitive nature

He then looked up at himself as if he could reach into the mirror and hurt the man who had made you cry he would

He silently calmed you down by lying in the bed and letting you cry your little heart out

Your crybaby spirit and his insensitivity are definitely the bane of existence but he still wouldn’t change anything about you

Bo Sinclair

Bo and you were at the mechanics having fun and dancing around to the old school rock records he had lying around when a group of female tourists had come in asking for some help with their broken down car

Bo, having murderous intentions, turned on the charm straight away and complimented the women on their non existent personalities

He had left you swaying to the music to grab whatever tool he needed when the women started snickering

You turned around and saw their mocking glances aimed at you and you felt yourself getting misty eyed at the judgemental gazes

They started whispering as soon as Bo entered and the attractive red head began aggressively flirting with him

Bo, who noticed your teary eyed look, put himself in front of you, blocking you from the ladies nasty looks

He screamed at them and called them names they’d never even heard of before telling you to go back to the house

He killed them all with a wrench to their skulls before he returned to the house to comfort you

You loved that he went into tough guy mode to protect you and he loved feeling wanted and needed by you

Your each other’s perfect match

Vincent Sinclair

You and Vincent were having a chill out day of staying in pjs and you sitting in the basement while he works

You were both joking around when you had caught yourself on one of Vincent’s many sharp tools

The tool had left a pretty big cut on your thigh which was exposed by your pj shorts

You instantly fell to the floor crying and Vincent rushed to you

He was overwhelmed with guilt, how could he be so careless and leave sharp stuff on corners?

He picked you up and helped you to the bathroom. He cleaned your cut and you let out pained whimpers when he had to use rubbing alcohol to disinfect your cut

Vincent almost felt like crying himself, he’d always been that way. If you cried it always managed to make him misty eyed

He helped you back to bed and cuddled you until you calmed down

Once you did you promised it wasn’t his fault before falling asleep in his arms on the wet patch on his shirt you had left.

He hated seeing you cry but he always loved holding you afterwards.

Thomas Hewitt

You had been screamed at by holt for the third time today after scrubbing the floor in the kitchen which apparently affected his ability to grab his beers

You had been holding back tears for a while now but the finale time broke you as you began sobbing while scrubbing the floor

Once you had finished you got up to see Luda may enter the room, she rolled her eyes before saying “again with the waterworks?” Sarcastically Under her breath

You ran to the basement for some comfort from Thomas

You ran and hugged his massive frame and sobbed into his back when you heard him sigh before he turned around and put your head on his chest and wrapped his arms around you

He picked up bridal style and took you upstairs. When he heard holt make a comment about your tear stained face, he gave him a massive glare which caused holt to physically recoil into his armchair

Thomas put you on the bed and played with your hair while you wailed into his chest

You eventually passed out and Thomas felt guilt fill his chest. But he couldn’t stand up to his family, he just couldn’t.

Asa Emory

You were running around the hotel looking for asa, hoping your favourite pet privileges will excuse you leaving your room

But instead of finding him, you found a nail sticking out of the wooden floor boards and a well placed trip wire

The nail caught your arm and left a cut as you screamed and wailed in agony

Asa, hearing your screams and growing worried, ran to you and found you in your bloody state

He sighed as he thought of all the times he had told you to watch where your walking, this was only a minor trap, what would have happened if you went to the left instead? Well you would have ended up with a bear trap around your leg

He picked you up and took you to your special room before getting his first aid kit

He scolded you for being careless and he reduced you to a pitiful child with your endless tears and apologies.

He cursed your carelessness, although a part of him loved it because of how much it helped the Stockholm syndrome develop, he was now your saviour after all.

Tiffany valentine

Tiffany really hadn’t meant to make you cry! Honestly!

She had just been so stressed lately with the thoughts of chucky coming after you and killing you sickened her with worry

So when you came to her with a sweet story about a sweet old lady you met on the way home and you rambled your little heart out to her, she just couldn’t help but snap

“Could you shut up!” She had yelled before looking at your crestfallen expression, her chest filled with regret

You stormed off to your room and Tiffany decided to give you some space

She came into your bedroom two hours later to see you still crying.

She sat on the edge of the bed as you looked at her with a broken expression. She apologised profusely and told you she didn’t mean it

She explained that she was stressed out and you had just caught her at a bad time but that didn’t give her an excuse to be mean to you

She held her hand on your leg before you hugged her and placed a desperate kiss on her lips. She held you while whispering reassuring words in your ear to calm you down

She loved you too much to let you cry. Now all she has to do it’s kill that ginger prick doll.

[sukirichi]

— falling out of love with gojo satoru

warnings: angst, mentions of sexual content, cursing

masterlist !

when you fell in love with gojo satoru, your heart exploded like a firework.

you still remember that moment very vividly at the back of your head. it was new year’s, and you two were drunk on both liquor and the feeling of having the other by your side. it was a tough year – as the norm was for jujutsu sorcerers – but you both made it out alive.

alive couldn’t even begin to describe how you felt that day.

satoru has always been the person who stuck by your side through thick and thin like how you were the one who always went against the higher-ups when they tried to limit his capabilities. you should’ve known then, that the higher ups were just the beginning. that when once you thought their oppression for satoru’s plans were nothing but microscopical compared to the barrier his family had placed between the both of you.

they didn’t like you.

he was a gojo, the strongest jujutsu sorcerer, while you were...well, you.

you weren’t really anyone special or better than anyone. your technique was decent and had a lot more drawbacks than advantages that you had to improve your physical abilities instead to not be deemed a total useless tool.

satoru never saw you that way. to him, he admired you almost as equally as he cherished his best friend, suguru, so much so that the three of you become the best of friends in the blink of an eye. the more time you spent together, whether alone or with others, it felt like your world just hyper focused or snapped into tunnel vision, zeroing on no one else but the white-haired man whose smile was brighter than any other in the sky.

when he told you he loved you, you couldn’t distinguish which ones were the exploding new year fireworks or the drumming of your heart. you stared up at him then, lips falling open as you released a tiny breath of air, and satoru laughed. he actually laughed.

you wanted to tease him, to punch him even though you couldn’t really ever touch him just to get over the fact he had you losing your composure with eyes glossing over. “well,” he taunted then, one shoulder lifting up lazily. “aren’t you gonna say anything? if you feel the same way, now’s the best time to tell me. we can end the year as friends and start another one as-”

satoru never got to finish his sentence. you had jumped into his arms faster than the speed of light, hands yanking down his yukata to pull him towards you, your lips slamming on his almost greedily.

he didn’t mind. he never did.

for once, it felt as if his infinity never existed. you had both spent the night tangled under the sheets, your name rasped from his lips like a prayer. the way you kneeled for him just moments later with your eyes fervently closed made him feel like he’s the one being worshipped instead, and in a way, it was. you loved him – way too much that you no longer cared how much it would hurt the day after when he never gave you a break and kept you pulled closer to him.

you loved him – way too much that you no longer cared how much it would hurt if ever the time came that you no longer felt the same.

contrary to how you fell for him, you fell out of love with your best friend quietly. your shared apartment would still be filled with his annoying mannerism of dragging his feet over the floor as he walked, always groaning and complaining that he was hungry but never really bothered to cook anything for himself.

it felt a lot like living with a child where you were his mother, but in that sense, satoru hated it whenever you worried for him.

“you’re not my mother, stop telling me what to do!”

“stop being so arrogant, satoru!” you pointed to the barely conscious child in his arms, the first year student still barely breathing because satoru had gone out of his way again and brought yuuji while he fought a special grade curse. “you may be strong, but not everyone around you is capable of handling what you can! stop dragging people into your mess and start using your goddamn brain for once!”

“you don’t know anything, so shut the hell up.”

you scoffed, hands placed on your hip while you blinked back the angry tears that threatened to fell. you worried for yuuji, you really did, but in reality, you just couldn’t handle seeing gojo pushing himself to his limits and coming back home more wounded than the night before.

“i’m just worried for you, satoru. i don’t want you getting hurt.”

“i’m the strongest,” was all he said – was what he always kept saying. “i’m not going to get hurt.”

“you may not,” you reply stiffly, “but what about me? don’t you think about me? don’t you think about how much it hurts me to see you this way?”

you told yourself you hated him. you hated how arrogant he got. it was good he was confident of his abilities and prided himself of such an honourable title, but satoru was human. he was bound to fall at some point.

eventually, you got too tired.

it was too tiring to keep waiting for him to come home unscathed. you were assigned different missions all the time. satoru would always be working overseas while you mostly helped train the kids and exorcised curses from time to time; no missions that were as dangerous as his.

in the dead of the night, when you were turned away from him in your bed that had already gotten so cold from his usual absence, satoru would slip beside you as silently as he could. the morning afterwards would always be the same: good morning, did you sleep well? he knew the answer. he knew you never slept well without him, but he’d ask just to be nice, and it wouldn’t take too long before you’re both late to work because he missed you too much from being away all the time that he wanted to feel you clamp around him one more time.

it was tiring. too tiring.

that heavy weight never left your shoulders. you cried yourself to sleep far too much that you’d lost count – until you reached a point you just felt nothing. the bed no longer felt cold – just empty. his side always remained untouched, his chair in the dining table barely used, and you’ve gotten so used of washing only your plate and utensils that you wondered if satoru had ever been there.

you wondered if it was a coping mechanism; that maybe you could just no longer handle the pain of having to worry about him every damn night and he’d never care enough to at least be a little more careful, and this was why you just stopped missing him, which was why you just started enjoying the silence in your apartment a little bit more than you should.

but if it was a coping mechanism...why did you feel a lot freer and happier in his absence? instead of it feeling like you were supposed to be distracted, you felt awakened. alive.

alive in the same way he told you he loved you while the skies painted different hues of red, blue, green, and yellow in the darkness that bore witness to your souls connecting that night – the same sky that was now patiently watching as your souls split in half and formed itself whole all over again.

contrary to how you fell for him, you fell out of love with your best friend quietly.

there was no longer someone singing made up songs in the shower. there would no longer be that sound of an annoying loud kiss down the bride of your neck or the smacking of his palm on your ass when he wanted to piss you off.

you fell out of love him so silently that when he crawled next to you that night, you didn’t even hear him. and for the first time in a long time, you slept well the moment he left before the sun stretched its wings across the horizon. when you were greeted by nothing but your own pair of slippers outside your bedroom and not even a post it note to tell you he’d already left for work, a smile tugged on your face.

you made your breakfast in peace. satoru no longer dared to come back home if he was injured because he knew you wouldn’t care enough to fix him up.

although of course you would, but nothing ever beats in your heart for him anymore when you dab the disinfectant across his cut lips. satoru would catch your wrist then to tug you to him slowly, empty eyes staring back at his sky blue ones.

“thank you. for patching me up.”

“you’re welcome,” you’d smile, climbing off his lap while closing the first aid-kit. “go get changed. i’ll cook something up for you.”

it was a silent, empty routine. satoru would thank you for fixing him up because he was never every sorry for worrying you. he’d keep being reckless again and again until he reached a point you no longer cared for him enough to say goodbye to him with a kiss and the slow, tender promise of be safe – i’ll wait for you to come home.

you still kiss him – more out of habit than anything – but you’ve changed.

i’ll see you tonight.

it was empty, silent, completely different from the fireworks he’d ignited within you when he told you he loved you. satoru wasn’t dumb, and he didn’t need his six eyes to see that you’ve grown too comfortable over the large space between you and him between the sofa, almost as if him being away was what felt home for you.

he was never a confrontational man; he hated each waking moment that lead to this, but he had to do it. he needed to do it – to set you both free.

when the commercials started playing, satoru lowered the volume down, voice low and serious as he turned to you. you easily picked up on the sudden tension in the room – the first thing you’ve felt ever since you’ve fallen out of love with him – yet nothing changed. when satoru sighed, your heart didn’t ache.

“well,” he chuckled nervously as he leant back to his side, “things have changed, don’t you think?”

“yes.” there was no point denying it. you knew it – he felt it.

“what do we do now?”

you had no answer to his question. despite the fact you no longer looked at him the same way, not once had it crossed your mind to leave your apartment. not because you wanted to hold on as much as possible to whatever memories you shared under this roof, but simply because you didn’t know where else to go.

it wasn’t like it made a difference anyway. satoru barely came home, and when he did, he made his presence as scarce as possible that you could no longer tell what difference it would make if he was here or not.

“i don’t know,” you admitted, knees hugged to your chest. “what do you want to do?”

his answer came in the form of opened doors. you leant against the doorframe, watching as nanami and even yuuji came to help satoru move his stuff out of the apartment. he found a better place somewhere in the upstate, somewhere much closer to bars and clubs – which you know he thoroughly enjoyed it prior to meeting you – and your mind immediately went back to the time you and satoru first moved in.

it proved to be a difficult task. you both wanted to move in and finish unpacking as soon as possible, but satoru was too eager to christen each part and corner of the house that you both ended up making more mess.

nights spent tucked into each other because the heater was broken and you were both too tired to sleep anywhere except the uncomfortable mattress played like a broken record in your mind. satoru’s laughter echoed when nanami complained that he should stop spending money on souvenirs so he could’ve hired professionals to help him move out instead, your head snapping up at the source of that carefree, sweet laugher that always had butterflies erupting in your stomach.

as if feeling your gaze on him, satoru’s eyes flitted to where you stood. when he smiled, you could tell each genuine apology rang behind it – all the words he never got to say staying like a broken glass that kept cutting him over and over again.

he loved you. he still loves you.

and maybe, tucked away in the deepest parts of your heart that no longer felt fond of him the same way it did before, still held a little compassion enough for this man you once wanted to spend your life with.

you weren’t unkind. you didn’t need to love someone to know when to forgive them, but just for this moment, just for him, you could pretend to for one last time.

smiling up at him with your eyes crinkled and the last bits of adoration for everything about him gleamed through your lashes just before it slipped away into nothingness. it was enough. it was enough for satoru to know he’d been forgiven, and it was enough for him to finally set you free.

the next time you saw him at school, there were no longer fireworks.

your heart was at peace.

[tavvattales]

helloooo can i request a fluff lof y/n taking care of their injuries after some long fight? with childe, xiao and diluc 😊 thank youuu

Oh my goodness, yes of course! <3

And if I may be bold to say, you're my first ever ask! Thank you so much for enjoying my work. I hope you enjoy these stories I wrote especially for you! 😊😊

---------------------------------------------------'--

GENSHIN IMPACT Character x gn reader fluff stories~♡♡

Scenario: Cleaning up their wounds

Characters: Childe/Tartaglia, Xiao, Diluc(seperate)

Pairings: Childe/Tartaglia x gn reader, Xiao x gn reader, Diluc x gn reader

Warnings: Mentions of blood and injuries, minor swearing

SFW----> Lots of fluff down below. Click at your own risk. ;)

Childe/Tartaglia:

● He's a skilled fighter, he wouldn't be a Harbinger if he wasn't, so very rarely would he come to you with a wound. When he does he's always embarrassed, but he'll come to you because you never pass judgment, instead your eyes are filled with worry and love.

● He loves how gentle you are when you tend to him. The way he looks at you when you clean him up and the way you smile at him, telling him how glad you are it wasn't anything serious. He knows how much you love him and it makes him fall even harder for you. Every. Single. Time.

A loud, rapid knock to your door startled you awake. Groggily you stumbled out of bed, rubbing the sleep from your eyes wondering who it could be at this time of night. As you reach the door, you peer through the peep hole. Surprised, you open the door.

A Fatui agent stood there, bowing to you. Immediately you knew what was wrong before the man could have a chance to speak, "Where is he? How bad is it?" You asked, rushed, already putting your coat on over your sleeping garments.

"He's at the Northlander Bank. He would have come here himself, but this time it's. . .bad. He's lost a bit of blood," The agent spoke grimly. You felt the lump in your throat rise and you tried to swallow.

"Thank you. ." You manage to say to the man before rushing past him, grabbing the medical supplies in the process. You didn't stop running through the brightly lit streets of Liyue until you arrived at the bank.

Panting and gasping for air you pushed past the two Fatui agents who were guarding the doors. They already knew who you were so they didn't even try to stop you, otherwise you would have had their tounge.

You quickly made your way to his room where a few more agents were attending to him as he lay on his bed, clutching his side with blood soaked rags. Your nose was immediately met with the smell of iron, "Childe! Oh my Archons, what the hell happened?!" You rush to his side, pulling out your medical supplies.

You shooed the remaining agents out of the room so you could focus. "I had a run in with a peculiar traveler named Aether. He put up quite a fight. ." His breathing was heavy and staggered, fading in and out of consciousness.

"I need you to keep talking to me, my love," you say to him gently, trying to stay calm, "I'm going to cut off your shirt so I can better assess your wound, okay?" You swiftly take out your surgical scissors and cut away the crimson soaked fabric clinging to his upper torso.

You gasp, the wound was a large slash across the side of his abdomen. You stifle back tears before meekly saying, "You're going to be okay. I promise. You'll need several stitches, but I'm determined to keep you alive."

He lets out a small laugh before wincing in pain, "I'm lucky to have someone as kind and caring as you, Y/N" Childe weakly reaches over to push a strand of hair behind your ear.

You lean into his hand for a brief moment before replying, "Take this for the pain, and this to help stop the bleeding. Afterwards I'm going to need to disinfect the wound," You hand him two pills and he swallows them quickly, "It's going to hurt, love, so bare with me. ."

You open up a bottle of alcohol and offer your hand to him, "Squeeze my hand," You say to him as you start pouring the alcohol over his wound. He grits his teeth and lets out a pained groan as he squeezes your hand tightly. You work quickly from there, stitching his wound perfectly.

Once you're finished you clean up all the rags and place a clean damp one over his forehead. He's now asleep, getting the much deserved rest he needed. You place a gentle kiss upon his cheek, not leaving his side.

He'll live to see another day, thank the Archons.

Childe/Tartaglia x gn reader END

----------------------------------------------------

Xiao:

● He also isn't one to get injured so quickly, though when he does you're always quickly by his side no matter how big or small. Even though he's not much for human interaction, he quite enjoys the attention he gets from you.

● He'll always thank you in his own way with odd gifts he made himself. You find it charming. By now you have quite the collection and they're all your most prized possessions.

Today you wanted to travel to Mondstat as you heard there was a festival going on and Xiao offered to accompany you, but only for protection he insisted. He thought human customs were a waste and didn't want to be bothered with them.

The journey to Mondstat would take half a day, and sometimes the roads could be treacherous, so you made sure to pack all of the necessities.

Snacks for the road? Check. Extra water? Check. A med kit? Of course. You triple checked everything and you were about to check it a fourth time when Xiao stopped you and said, "Y/N, you have everything we need. Trust me," He placed a firm, but gentle hand on your shoulder, "Now let's get going before it gets too late. The roads will get dangerous is we wait any longer."

You let out a small sigh and nod, "You're right. Sorry, you know I always gotta make sure everything's in order." You could have sworn you heard him huff and that made you smile. Xiao always had a cold exterior, but you knew a different side to him. He was gentle, kind, always looking out for you. You loved him so much for that. He'd never let anyone but you see this side of him.

Grabbing your sack you sling it over your shoulder and secure it as you both prepare to head out. Xiao was never one for small talk, but you still engaged him in conversation while you two walked. He secretly loved the sound of your voice so he kept you entertained just so he could keep hearing it.

After a few hours of walking both of you had arrived to Stone Gate, you decide it was time for a break. You stretch your arms upwards and arch your back before plopping down on top of a log you had found, patting the spot next to you for Xiao to sit next to you, but he shook his head and continued to stand on guard, "Oh come on, Xiao. We've been walking for hours. It's okay to rest for a bi-"

He quickly raised his hand to stop you from talking and put a finger to his lips before quietly saying, "I sense something evil coming our way," He readied his jade spear before continuing, "I need you to hide someplace safe."

"No way am I going to let you fight on your own!" You retort, getting your sword ready. Determination burned in your eyes as you glanced over to him.

He met your gaze and let out a small sigh, his golden eyes glimmering before giving you a nod, "Fine."

You started hearing rustling from all around you both when it finally clicked that it was an ambush. A charge of at least twenty Hilichurls and three large ones came at the both of you from all sides, "Tck. . Damn. There are more than I expected, " Xiao muttered angrily, knocking back three with his spear in one swift movement, killing them instantly.

You swiftly take out two more, rushing at a third one. You two made a hell of a team. You didn't have a vision, but you were very skilled with the sword and whatever you didn't have, Xiao made up for it creating the perfect synergy between the both of you.

"So much for a peaceful break!" You call out to him as you hacked away a few more, so far you've managed not to get hit. Xiao managed to take out the rest rather quickly.

You rush to his side, noticing a rather long cut across his right cheek, "Xiao, you've been hurt," you said, a frown forming on your lips. He reached up to touch it and he winced slightly.

"I must have been nicked by an arrow, " He muttered, "I'm just glad you're not hurt," He softly took your chin in his hand as he tilted your head gently, side to side.

You blush furiously, avoiding his beautiful gaze, "Let me at least tend to your cut. It's the least I can do" you say, rummaging through your sack taking out the med kit.

Xiao took a seat on the log you were previously sitting on as you kneel in front of him, gently tending his wound. He winces each time you dab it with the disinfectant, but he's grateful to you.

After placing the bandage on his cut, he gingerly takes your hand and places it back on his cheek, nuzzling into it, "Thank you, " He said in a hushed whisper before kissing your hand.

You smile at him and leaned upwards, giving a quick kiss to his bandaged cut, leaving him stunned. "That's to make it heal faster" you say giggling softly at his expression.

He still wasn't used to human customs, but this he could get used to.

Xiao x gn reader END

----------------------------------------------------

Diluc:

● His work as the Dark Knight hero brings him home with several injuries a week, but you're quick to assist him and most of the time he's careful not to sustain anything too horrible. Though you never fail to scold him for being reckless and to take it easy once in a while.

● He always studies your features as you tend to him, falling in love with you all over again. You're so tender with your touch, careful not to cause him any further harm. He always pulls you into a tight embrace afterwards, grateful to be back in your arms after a long night.

You let out an exasperated sigh as you study the mildly battered Diluc. His bright fiery colored hair, falling in locks in front of his face as he plops down in a chair, leaning his head back. He had several small cuts from what you could tell with the amount of tears on his clothing, "You over did it again, didn't you?" You asked, hands on your hips.

"Mm, perhaps I may have, " Diluc replies back, slowly taking off his jacket and unbuttoning his shirt, preparing for you to clean out his cuts and scrapes.

You click your tongue in response to his answer, "You worry me so much, you know that, right?" But you're quick to blush as he slides off his shirt, his perfectly sculpted abs catching the dim light of the room, creating perfect shadows across his skin.

He smirks at you, "I'm aware, but I also love seeing how you care for me after a long night, Y/N," Diluc takes your hand in his, bringing it up to his lips as he gingerly kisses it, glancing up at you with his gentle crimson eyes.

You fidget shyly, meeting his gaze, "O-of course. I'll always support you, but it's okay to give your body a break once in a while too. ." You say, smiling softly wondering what you were gonna do with him.

Diluc lets go of your hand, letting you get to work on cleaning his several small cuts. You're careful not to further hurt him as you dab them clean, applying a bandage to each one, "All finished." You say, proud of your handiwork.

"Thank you, my dear," He says as he gets up, pulling you into a warm embrace. Your heart pounding in your chest. You lift your face up to meet his loving crimson gaze as he leans down to give you a soft, warm kiss upon your lips.

You may not like to see him hurt, but you live for these gentle moments.

Diluc x gn reader END

I hope you enjoy <3

[gukeobi]

New Beginnings (M)

pairing: werewolf!jeongguk x reader

genre: Slight angst, fluff (?), smut (jeongguk has a breeding kink, Alpha kink kinda, passionate jeongguk), kinda enemies to friends to lovers? lol 

words: 17.4k (i’m sorry)

warnings: blood mention, non present character death 

-----------

It was cold. Fresh snow covered the soft forest ground in a sheet of pure white, some delicately resting on the branches of the bare trees that lived around you as more continued to fall from the sky above. The iciness burned your bare hands, leaving them red, flushed and numb as your excited giggles rang throughout the empty forest like a mantra. 

You were only four years old, and every year since your birth you would visit your grandfather at his cabin in the woods. Your mother, his only daughter, had passed during childbirth and afterwards he had secluded himself to a simple cabin in the woods that was miles away from any form of civilization to continue his independent research studies. He was a retired wildlife biologist, his motivation to continue his work in a professional setting dying along with his only child. 

“Don’t wander too far now, Y/N,” Your grandfather called out to you, watching you from the patio with a smile on his face and a cup of coffee warming his hands through his thick gloves. You turned back to look at him and nodded in response to his request, cheeks flushed and a smile so wide it hurt. It was times like these in which you reminded him so much of his late daughter, the sparkle in your eyes and the snow melting in your hair.

 The thought caused a sharp pang of hurt to spread through his chest. 

Turning back to the snowy fortress in front of you, you continued to make your way through the vast never-ending whiteness with no true end goal in mind. You collected anything that caught your eye--pretty rocks, fallen leaves, and even a small collection of hellebore flowers which were hidden behind a naked tree. With your treasures held delicately in between your chubby red fingers and arms tucked tightly against your chest, your tiny legs weaved through the forest in continuously growing elation. 

Your excitement was short lived, however, when your lack of awareness resulted in your foot getting caught on a fallen branch.

“Ow,” you whispered gently, watching as blood stained the whiteness below you almost immediately. Your knee scraped against a sharp rock hidden beneath the snow during your fall, the fabric of your pants tearing upon impact and the objects that were once held protectively against your thick warm coat were now scattered across the forest floor in chaos. With tears clouding your vision, your hands gripped your bloody knee gently. 

The sound of your quiet weeps seemed to echo in the otherwise empty forest, bouncing against the trees and coming back to mock you for your obliviousness to your surroundings. The slight rustle of the snow covered bushes across from you managed to draw your attention away from your injury briefly, though what you saw was not at all what you expected.

Standing between two trees was a wolf. Its sleek black fur was a stark contrast to the pure whiteness surrounding it, the midnight inkiness unable to camouflage itself from unsuspecting eyes. It was large, towering over you impressively even with its massive paws sinking into the snow below it, leaving depressions in their wake. Its hulking physique was intimidating, muscles visibly rippling underneath its thick winter coat as it stalked towards your tiny fallen figure. 

You watched in awe and slight nervousness as it stopped right in front of you. It’s head alone was almost the size of your entire frame, and it’s eyes never once left your flushed, tear stained face. 

“Hi,” you breathed, your voice small. Gently taking your hand, you held up your palm face up towards the wolf’s face, its nose cold and wet as it touched your hand before it slowly transitioned into warm, sleek fur as the wolf pushed its forehead into your palm. You ran your fingers gently across the wolf’s head, your tiny fingers dwarfed significantly, relishing in the warmth it brought. 

The first touch of the animal’s tongue on your injury stung, the roughness irritating the already inflamed skin. You whimpered, though watched silently as the wolf cleaned your wound like it would to one of its young. Looking back up at you once it was done, deeming your injury clean enough, its eyes flashed a brilliant shade of vermillion before returning to their dulled amber color as quickly as it came. 

Too engrossed in feeling the warmth of the wolf’s body temperature beneath your frozen fingertips, you were slightly startled when you felt it’s snout gently nudging your thigh, signaling for you to stand up. You followed without complaint, albeit a slight limp on your left leg, and brushed the snow that clung wetly to your clothes with your fingers before embedding your fingers back into the wolf’s warm, soft fur on its back. It led you back the direction you came, the trip silent except for the crunch of the snow beneath your feet as the cabin quickly came into view. 

“There you are,” your grandfather breathed, a smile plastering his wrinkled face as soon as you came into view. His eyes quickly drifted to the creature beside you, taking in it’s hulking figure and bright red eyes. He wasn’t worried or scared like you expected him to be, and instead lowered into a small bow to show his respects. The wolf followed suit, lowering its head before backing away from you to return to the forest; it’s home. “I was wondering where you ran off to, silly girl.” 

“Grandpa!” you giggled, running up the patio steps before crashing into his chest in a hug. The sun was quickly setting, casting hues of golden and soft rose onto the snow as you turned back to watch the wolf disappear between the trees once again. It was almost as if it was never there to begin with. “Did you see that? Did you?” 

“I did, my love,” He spoke to you, his voice gentle as he brushed stray hairs away from your face. Pointing to your torn pants, a frown found its way on his face at the sight of the raw, exposed skin. “What happened here?” 

“I was running through the snow,” you began, sighing at the warmth of the inside of the cabin as your grandfather led you to the kitchen. You sat down on one of the dining room chairs, watching as he grabbed a first aid kit from one of the cupboards. “And I tripped over a rock. It hurt pretty bad.”

Your grandpa hummed, listening to your story intently as he slowly disinfected the wound with antibacterial soap before taking out a bandage to cover it with.  “And then?” 

“And then this big wolf showed up out of nowhere!” you exclaimed, waving your hands high above your head to try to demonstrate. “He was huge, but he didn’t hurt me. He helped me. He licked my knee and led me back here.” 

“Did he?” Placing a bandage onto your knee, he chuckled as he gently took your small, cold hands in his own and led you from the kitchen to your bedroom. You quickly changed from your wet, outside clothes and into your warm sleep clothes, hopping into bed with a smile that didn’t seem like it was fading still on your face. 

“I have something to tell you, Y/N. Something important.” your grandfather spoke, his voice low as he pulled the covers up to your chest. By now the sun has fully set, the only light illuminating your room coming from the pale moonlight glow and the dulled bedside lamp. “There are many wolves out there, Y/N. Special wolves. They will never hurt you if you welcome them with open arms and an open mind.” 

With that, he placed a kiss on your forehead and turned off your bedside lamp, the door to your bedroom closing softly in his wake. Almost complete darkness welcomed you, the light of the full moon bathing you in it’s ethereal shine, and as you fell asleep that night you swore you could hear the distant howls singing you a lullaby. 

---------

  The coldness of the outside air was pleasant against your skin, the thick material of your hoodie sheathing most of the elements from your exposed flesh. You worked diligently on moving each box from the back of your car to the inside of the cabin, music playing quietly through your headphones to fill the quietness of the empty forest. 

You were now twenty-one, and it's been 3 months since your grandfather has passed. 

His death had taken a huge toll on you. You had stopped visiting him during the summer after your thirteenth birthday, school and relationships outweighing the desire to spend the three months you had free in the woods alone and not with your friends. Up until now you didn’t feel any regret in doing so, your relationship with him eventually fading into the only communication being handwritten cards sent every holiday or your birthday. Though ever since you found out about the news of his death the only thing you could feel was heartbreak and guilt. 

Stepping back outside you grabbed the last box out of your trunk, shutting it with a sigh before moving to finally go back inside. You were tired, lately that’s all you’ve been, and moving from the heart of Seoul to the forests of a forgotten city was harder than you’d originally envisioned it to be. The drive was long, the bright early morning sky fading into the depths of midnight before you could even realize, barely any stops made in between. The only thing you wanted to do now was rest. 

--------

Looking around the cabin it was exactly how you remembered it being, albeit desolate as the livelihood that used to thrive was now replaced with cold emptiness in the absence of its light. The dark tinted wood flooring was cold beneath your sock clad feet as you moved to light the fireplace, illuminating the living room in a light golden hue and filling it with warmth. 

There were many pictures lining the stone built around the fireplace, and you could recognize your face in some of them as you moved to pick one up. You ran your finger gently over the glass, brushing some of the built up dust away to reveal the image of you and your grandpa’s smiling face staring back at you. 

It was snowing in the picture, your faces flushed red and snow stuck in your hair. The memory of when the photo was taken was fuzzy, blurry at some of the edges but it still made your eyes well up; a small smile on your face as your tears hit the glass protecting it. 

Gently placing the picture frame back on the mantle, your eyes drifted to the other photos that lined the stone. One that managed to catch your eye was one of your grandfather, smiling like always and surrounded by three very large wolves. 

One was an earthy brown color, lanky and tall but still muscular and intimidating while the other a healthy mix of grey and white, specks of dirty brown littering it’s coat. The last one was slightly hidden, it’s obnoxiously large head peeking behind your grandfather’s shoulder shyly as it’s inky black coat contrasted nicely with the warm autumn background. It felt strangely familiar, though you couldn’t pinpoint why. 

Your grandfather always talked about the wolves that roamed the forest in which he lived and how they were special, different. You never truly understood what he meant by that, though you assumed he had simply built a relationship with the creatures as he focused his studies on them and their behaviours. 

You tried not to dwell on it too much. 

Shaking your head you placed the photo back where it was on the fireplace, taking one last look at your new home before putting the fire out and getting ready for bed. 

------- 

In the morning you were rudely woken up by the sound of somebody knocking on your door. It was strange, you thought, nobody came by these parts by chance and the closest neighbour you had was miles away. You doubted if they even really cared if somebody new moved in overnight, though you assumed news spread fast in small areas like these. Furrowing your eyebrows, you rubbed the sleep out of your eyes before quickly answering the door. 

What greeted you were two men, one noticeably taller than the other with dirty silver blonde hair and kind eyes that seemed welcoming. The other had hair the shade of night, with cat-like eyes that made you more uncomfortable the longer you looked at them. Both were wearing simple clothes, though arguably not appropriate for the freezing weather. You shifted nervously. 

“Can I help you?” you spoke, voice slightly raspy from sleep. The coldness of the early morning air nipped at your exposed arms, your simple t-shirt not doing much to shelter you from the cold as it entered into your home. Your eyes drifted to the taller one of the two as he spoke. 

“Hi, my name is Namjoon and this is my brother, Yoongi.” he spoke, eyes crinkling at the sides as he smiles at you. He has a gentle smile, you think. “We live a couple miles up the street and heard of somebody moving in. You’re new around here, yes?” 

He spoke eloquently, obviously educated and smart judging by the way he chose to present himself, but there was a slight disconnect with his words--  a slur to his accent you didn’t recognize. One you couldn’t point out. 

You nodded in response to his question, a polite smile on your face. “I just finished moving in yesterday.” 

Something felt off, they felt off. The shorter one of the two, Yoongi you remember his name being, you caught his eyes wandering-- drifting past your shoulder in a futile attempt to see inside your home. Shifting uncomfortably, you leaned your shoulder against the wooden door frame in an attempt to block his view. You didn’t know where this conversation was heading, and you really didn’t want to find out, either. 

The taller one, Namjoon, opened his mouth to speak before he was quickly interrupted. 

“The old man that used to live here,” Yoongi began, eyes narrowing at you underneath his fringe. His voice was relatively monotone, yet somehow aggressive and accusatory. “What happened to him.” 

Namjoon whipped his head around to look at the shorter man, eyebrows furrowed and expression tight. The frustration was evident in his voice as he quickly turned back to you, “I apologize for him-” 

“It’s okay,” you waved off quickly, though slightly hurt by the bluntness of his tone. Clearing your throat you fought hard to fight back tears, not wanting to embarrass yourself in front of strangers by completing breaking down. You let out a small sigh before continuing, “My grandfather, he passed away a couple months ago. He left all of his belongings to me in his will, so I-I wanted to move in to make sure nothing happened to his home and research.” 

At that, both of them seemed to deflate in relief, their shoulders less tense-- though at the mention of the word ‘grandfather’ they seemed to be more intrigued. 

“I’m so sorry for your loss,” Namjoon spoke, his voice low. He stuck his hand out in a handshake, his palm large against your own smaller one as you gripped it gently. His hand was warm, incredibly so, despite the freezing temperature he was standing in. “I can’t imagine the pain you’re going through right now and I apologize for intruding.” 

“Thank you,” you replied, the warmth of his palm comforting. “Would you like to come in for some coffee? Tea?” 

“We would love to,” Looking regretful, Namjoon turned to look at Yoongi briefly, the latter’s eyes never once leaving your face. “But we should really get going. Next time, maybe?” 

Smiling, you nodded your head in agreement. “Next time, then.”

You watched silently as they left, your hands stilling on the door as you went to close it. They had stated earlier that their home was miles away from yours, yet you didn’t see them getting into a car or any mode of transportation to make their way back-- instead the sound of their shoes crunching on the gravel of your driveway as they walked seemed to echo in the quiet early morning air. 

Furrowing your eyebrows you shook your head, letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. The whole interaction left a weird taste in your mouth, though you attempted not to linger over it too much, unsure if you’d realistically ever see them again. Closing the door with a dull thud your bare feet padded against the cold wood flooring as you made your way to the living room, relighting the fireplace with a match to help fill the room with much needed warmth. 

------ 

You spent most of the day unpacking your things. The interaction early this morning with Namjoon and Yoongi was pushed to the back of your mind now as you attempted to settle in. Surprisingly enough it wasn’t as difficult as you initially thought, though you guess you can place it on this place being your second home for thirteen years of your life. 

As the cabin was located semi remotely and the nearest town wasn’t anywhere close to you, your grandfather had built a tiny farm in the “backyard” to produce his own food. He refused to hunt live animals to eat, his reasoning being he didn’t have the heart to do so; a lifestyle you adopted from him during your younger years. Putting on a thick, warm hoodie to help combat the chilly winds you ventured outside to check on it. 

What you expected to see were rotting and decaying plants, seeing as there had been nobody around to take care of them for months.

 But they weren't. 

The fruits and vegetables looked as fresh and healthy as they could be, vibrant against the dull earthy ground they grew on. There had to be a logical explanation for this, produce couldn’t have survived as long as they have without being eaten by wildlife or destroyed by the elements and lack of care. Getting down on your knees, you moved to check the roots of the plants for any disturbances or ruptures when you heard it.

Behind you there was the snapping of a twig, the sound irritatingly loud in the otherwise quiet forest. You stilled, breath hitching in your throat as you tried to process what was happening. Perhaps you were being paranoid, you thought. You lived in a forest, there were wild animals all around you and one twig snapping shouldn’t warrant such a reaction. 

That was until the sound was followed by a low growl. It was quiet enough to not be heard if you weren’t paying enough attention, but loud enough to make the hairs rise on the back of your neck. Turning your head slowly, the first thing you tried to do was figure out who, or what, was there before turning your body completely. 

Standing about 10 feet away from you was a wolf. It’s coat was as black as a clear night sky, sleek and silky yet slightly matted with the only color being the dulled amber of its eyes. Its snout was pulled back in a snarl, the stained whites of its elongated canines taunting you while its eyes stared directly at you in aggression. 

You remembered distinctly about the values your grandfather instilled in you when you were young, to be gentle to the wolves that live on this land and to approach them with respect. So you raised the palm of your hand silently-- the situation eliciting a strange sense of deja vu--the act in itself a sign of non aggression. 

It didn’t work. 

The wolf’s growls got progressively louder as it stalked towards you, it’s massive paws sinking heavily into the earth below. You didn’t have time to react before it lunged for you, the plants behind you smothering behind as you fell back, the smell of blood penetrating the air as the thorns of the blackberry bush behind you pierced your skin. The palm of your hand stained a deep wine red. 

It’s growls seemed to reverberate in your skull as saliva dripped from it’s bared canines and onto your cheek, it’s hot breath making you choke up in fear. The feeling of it’s heavy paws on your chest made you feel like you were suffocating, pushing you further into the wet soil. 

You were scared. Unbelievably scared. The adrenaline and panic was pulsing through your veins like blood, hot and thick and circulating your entire body without pause.

It’s only been a day and you’re already staring at the face of death. 

“Please,” you begged, your eyes wet with tears as they fell down into your hair and mixed with the soil below. To whom or what you were pleading to you did not know, your eyes slowly drifting from it’s bared teeth to your own pitiful reflection staring back at you in its eyes. The creature seemed to falter at the eye contact, eyes widening a fraction before you see it’s nose wiggling from your peripheral vision. 

Slowly you could see the wolf’s snarl fade, it’s large paws stepping off your chest and back into the wet earth as it continued to back away from you. You were scared and confused, your body terrifying still until you heard the sound of branches snapping and leaves crunching as the wolf made its way back into the forest where it came from, sparing one last look at your fear-stricken form before disappearing from your view completely. 

You lied there silently for what felt like an eternity, your hands shaking as they gripped the dirt, the pain from your cut dulled from shock. Getting up quickly you rushed inside, taking off all your clothes and turning the shower dials to the hottest setting. It burned, your hands still slightly trembling as you scrubbed yourself roughly and watched as the water ran down the drain pink before eventually turning clear. The shower didn’t do much to calm your nerves. 

--- 

“This was a bad idea,” you mumbled to yourself, brushing your wet hair away from your face with your hand. There was a heavy bandage wrapped around it, the wound not as painful as it was a couple of hours ago but still pulsing painfully if you moved it the wrong way. You stared blankly at your bedroom wall, your thoughts blank as you noted with dull interest how the light birch color contrasted nicely with the darkly tinted wood flooring.

 Maybe you should have stayed at your apartment in Seoul. It was safe there, arguably so, and you could’ve collected all your grandfather’s belongings and had them stored somewhere rather than secluding yourself away from the rest of civilization like a recluse. 

But the guilt of abandoning the last familial connection you had with your mother out of teenage stupidity really weighed down on you, keeping you up at night and consistently plaguing your thoughts. You had originally thought that moving here into his cabin and protecting, perhaps continuing, his wildlife research would bring you some sense of closure or relief. Maybe you were wrong. 

 Letting out a deep sigh you moved to open a drawer on your bedside table, pulling out an old faux leather bound book. You had found it in your grandfather’s study while you were cleaning out some storage, tucked neatly in a hand built bookcase between a plethora of others that looked vaguely similar. The only difference was the golden wolf stamped onto the spine and cover, reflecting beautifully as the light from your lamp bounced off of it. 

When you ran your finger over the design it felt smooth beneath your fingertips, stunningly beautiful yet the only thing you could think of when you saw it was the beast that almost killed you earlier today. 

Opening the book gently, what greeted you was the illustration of a howling wolf-- the black ink contrasting the off-white page with the word ‘Lycanthropy’ written below it. You ran your finger over the ink, feeling the coarseness of the wrinkled paper as you diligently flipped the stained pages, each one filled with notes, sketches and anatomy studies of what your grandfather deemed ‘lycanthropes’. 

Of course you had entertained the idea of werewolves when younger, though once you were out of your preteen years you had scrapped the idea entirely as you knew it was biologically impossible. But when your grandfather was alive all he talked to you about was the wolves and how special they were, how they were different. You were young at the time so of course you didn’t question it, though now you didn’t know what to think. Your whole reality and what you knew to be real, not real or just simple folklore used to entertain and scare children was being flipped on you and your mind was a muddled mess.

 If these creatures actually existed, these werewolves--or lycanthropes as your grandfather so politely called them-- what stopped other things like vampires and witches from being real too? 

You shut the book in haste, anger quickly replacing confusion as you clenched your fists. What you were angry about you didn’t know, but you knew you weren’t going to let this go easily. You needed answers, and you were going to get them. 

-------- 

It’s been several days since your encounter with the wolf and the discovery that werewolves were, in fact, real. Or, so you assumed. You haven’t been outside since the attack, holding yourself up in the study to read every book that lined the shelves and sort through every scrap paper abandoned on his desk in an attempt to find answers. 

The early morning sun was beaming through the window, warm against your face as you slept peacefully. You’d fallen asleep in the study again, your face squished up against the cold wood of the desk and the ink stained papers after a long night of reading and studying. It was nothing like you’d ever seen before, every detail about every living and non living thing that dwelled in this forest was written and logged into separate books and carefully stored so they wouldn’t get ruined or lost with age. 

You blinked your eyes sleepily, stretching your arms above your head as you winced at the pain in your neck from sleeping in an uncomfortable position for days. There was an awful taste in your mouth and a pounding headache making your eyes squeeze shut in pain, the bright sunlight streaming through your window not doing much to help with the dull throbbing in your head. You suppose the lack of food, water and sleep finally caught up with you. 

Rubbing your temples with your fingertips you vaguely remembered reading about a natural migraine remedy that grew in the forest somewhere in one of your grandfather’s books. There was no asprin here, so you had to make due with what you had. 

Quickly sorting through the mess of papers on the desk you found what you were looking for, an old looking book with various plants huddled together stamped in golden ink on the front cover and spine. You flipped through the pages, finally locating a detailed illustration of the peppermint herb you needed and a description of its uses located directly below it.

You got ready quickly, changing clothes and taking care of your hygiene before grabbing the book you needed off the kitchen table and making your way to the back door. Before you could place your hand on the handle you froze, a sharp pain irritating your palm as you clenched your fist at the memory of the dangers that lurk within those woods. You weren’t as scared as you used to be, more educated and less naive than you were before but the weariness was still there. 

The metal handle was cold against the palm of your hand, the outside air welcoming against your face as you stepped outside. The weather was more forgiving than it used to be, the sun shining bright overhead and the temperature pleasantly warm. Your shoes touched the forest floor for the first time in what felt like forever, the book you needed tucked protectively underneath your arm as you made your way through the forest. 

It was hard to identify the difference between the herbs at first look as they all looked the same to the inexperienced eye, though you diligently tried your best. 

Bending down, your knees touched the wet earth as you sorted through the bushes, comparing the leaves to the ones that were sketched onto the pages. It wasn’t long until you heard the slight rustle of the bushes behind you, your fists tightening around the pages of your book. 

“You can come out you know,” you began, plucking the peppermint leaves off their stem before getting up and turning to where the sound originated from. “I know you’re out there.” 

You heard it before you saw it. It’s low growl pierced the tense air as it finally exposed itself to you, the same massive paws that pinned you to the ground and made you choke on your own fear left dents in the moist forest floor as it stepped from behind the trunk of a young redwood tree. It’s teeth were bared in a sharp snarl, its once dull amber eyes now a brilliant shade of vermillion as it stared at you in distrust. 

“I know what you are,” you spoke, voice wobbling as tears clouded your vision. “You’re a lycan. A werewolf.” 

The lycan’s growls grew louder at your confession, the hairs on it’s back rising and it’s posture getting defensive. You recognized the wolf from the one in the picture resting above your fireplace, it’s then shy gaze replaced with a look of distrust.

 It seemed just as angry and confused as you were, yet you didn’t know if that comforted you or not. 

“My grandfather, Il Sung, you knew him didn’t you. He studied your kind for years and recorded everything in his books and you let him.” The lycan seemed to falter at that, it’s posture slackening slightly-- caught off guard. You decided to test your luck, slowly stepping closer and watched as the lycans growls continued to grow, though they didn’t seem as threatening as before. “You let him because you trusted him, and he trusted you. I moved here to protect his home, his research, and by extension that means you!” 

You shook your head, the anger bubbling inside you quickly rising to the surface as hot tears stained your cheeks.  “I’m not scared of you, you beast. Why would I be?” 

Tension quickly rose, the once pleasant air now suffocating with each word that passed your lips. “You’re a coward! Nothing but a sheep in wolf’s clothing.”

Your voice echoed in the otherwise quiet forest, every emotion that you’ve managed to keep at bay and hidden inside of yourself spilling out without your consent. The anger, the guilt, the sadness-- all of it. “I have done nothing to you. Nothing! Yet you come into my home and threaten me? Me?!” 

The lycan’s growls stopped completely, it’s posture relaxing and it’s eyes returning back to their normal bronze shade as the only sound reverberating off the trees was your emotional mess. There was a quiet pause before you continued. 

“I’m not here to hurt you, ” you began, never once breaking eye contact with the creature in front of you. “I loved my grandfather more than you could know, and I’m just as hurt and confused about everything that’s happened as you are. So please, just give me a damn break.” 

The silence following was deafening, you both didn’t dare to move as you stared at each other for what felt like an eternity-- both of you standing your ground. Your face was flushed with tears as you watched in confusion as the wolf trekked closer to you, it’s movements cautious and slow. The closer the lycan got the more you noticed how large it was, reaching up to the center of your belly in height with muscles rippling through its inky black coat at each step it took. It was more intimidating than you’d admit to yourself. 

The first touch of it’s wet nose against your palm made you flinch.

 Yesterday you had finally removed the bandage from around your cut, opting to let it breathe and putting a natural ointment on it to help the healing process. It was still relatively fresh, only a few days passing from the time you had received it to now, so it stung slightly at the first pass of the lycan’s rough tongue. It’s ears were slightly pinned back as it licked your wound, looking more like an oversized dog than the beast that tried to kill you a week prior. 

Your left hand, the one that was uninjured, shook slightly as you raised it, your fingers carefully embedding themselves in the silky fur of the lycan. It stilled at the feeling, a low growl vibrating through its body before it continued its ministrations. When it was finished it stepped back slightly, its eyes flashing the same bright red it had before when it first showed itself to you.  

Stepping back, your hands felt cold in the absence of the lycan’s warmth, fingers clenching in a fist as you furrowed your eyebrows. The headache from earlier seemed to come back worse than it originally was earlier, the bearing sunlight suddenly too harsh on your eyes. 

This whole situation was oddly familiar, and it confused you. A lot.

You moved to make your way back to the cabin without another word or sparing glance, weaving through the trees and leaving the lycan abandoned far behind you. 

------- 

   Early the next morning you found yourself in the garden. The weather was still pleasantly warm, a slight breeze leaving goosebumps along your bare arms as you worked on plucking the ripe fruits and veggies from their stems and throwing away the rotten ones. Your headache from yesterday had eventually subsided after following the instructions written down for you, a fairly tiny jar of peppermint oil managing to save you from a night-long nightmare. 

It wasn’t long after that you heard it’s arrival. Although the crunch of fallen leaves no longer scared you with it’s rather cliche implications, you were still surprised to see the familiar figure of the wolf with an inky black coat standing in the treeline. 

“You’re back,” you breathed, shock flooding your features as you watched it saunter towards you. It stopped relatively close, only about six feet away from the garden where you were kneeling. At first you were unsure if it even heard you, though the huff that passed it’s lips as it sat down quietly to bask underneath the afternoon sun proved otherwise. You noticed its auburn eyes following your every move; watching, observing, thinking. 

 Knowing there was somebody residing underneath that wolf’s skin made you feel vulnerable and exposed underneath it’s heavy gaze, the lycan never once moving from its position underneath the sun. Originally you thought that somewhere in the study there would be records of the wolves that lived in the forest; their names, photos, drawings-- anything. 

You found nothing. 

It frustrated you more than you’d like to admit. No matter how much you read or studied, you still felt completely naive to the world suddenly shoved in front of you. 

“When I was younger, every summer I would come here to visit my grandpa,” you suddenly spoke, eyes intently trained on the tomatoes you were currently picking. The lycan didn’t seem to make any moves at the sound of your voice. “And all he would talk about was the wolves. It was always about the wolves.”

Getting up, you brushed the soil off your pants before turning to face the wolf completely, it’s gaze never leaving yours as you spoke. Sighing quietly, you rested the basket of freshly picked produce against your hip to close your eyes and collect your thoughts.

 It felt nice to talk to somebody after being alone for so long, even if they couldn’t talk back. 

“My mother died shortly after my birth,” you explained, moving to set down the basket on the edge of the porch. You chuckled lightly, wringing your hands together as your gaze moved to look at the clear blue sky above, tears brimming your eyes. “And my father, he hoped that by sending me here I-I would have a chance to have a connection with my mother’s side before it was gone completely.” 

Your voice was quiet as you continued. “And I gave that up for my own teenage selfishness” 

It was quiet for a long time after that. None of you moved, the birds chirping high in the treetops as they mingled together and the distant sound of rabbits running through the brush filling the void. You swung your legs thoughtlessly as you sat on the edge of the porch, the rough material of your jeans shielding you from any unnecessary splitters as your back touched the cold, rough wood when you lied down. 

You spoke up after a while of silence, voice low and impersonal as you focused on the gentle swaying of the trees. “If I could go back and spend more time with him I would, y’know?” 

The wood was rough on your elbows as you got up to rest on them, your gaze once again returning to the lycan. It still felt so surreal. “But I can’t. So I just have to make due with what I have left now.” 

You got up without another word, grabbing the basket of fruits and vegetables and moving to make your way back inside. Turning around, you watched as the wolf followed your every move with its eyes intently, a silent goodbye resting on your tongue as the door shut behind you. 

----- 

It’s been a month, and you were adjusting quickly. 

Your routine has stayed fairly the same the entire duration; during the day you would venture out into the forest to collect herbs and spices or sit on the porch underneath the warm sun, while your nights were spent locked in the study with a dull lamp glow illuminating the stained white pages. It was comfortable, you were comfortable.

Surprisingly enough, the lycan would continue to come by everyday. Whether you were taking care of the garden or sketching quietly on the porch-- it would come. At first its presence would slightly bother you, seeing as it would sit in the exact same spot everyday and just stare at you while you worked, but gradually with each passing week you managed to get more relaxed with each other. 

“What do you think?” you said, turning the sketchbook over to show the wolf the portrait sketched on it. The lycan was laying on the porch next to you, head resting between its paws and it’s coat shining underneath the glaring mid-day sun. It wasn’t too hot per say, but you couldn’t imagine the summer heat felt too good on its thick dark coat. 

Lifting its head up the wolf looked at your drawing, a huff passing it’s lips as its tail wagged back and forth slowly against the wood. It’s large paw rested on your thigh as it stretched, a low whine catching your attention as it’s large head moved to rest on your lap. You smiled, setting down your sketchbook and pencil next to you before entangling your fingers gently in the fur of its back. 

It was still kinda shocking how fast your relationship blossomed. One day the lycan refused to be more than a couple feet away from you and growled whenever so much as raised a hand to touch it, the next it whined if you didn’t want it’s head in your lap. If you were being completely honest with yourself you didn’t know how to feel about this. 

There was still somebody in that wolf, thinking, watching, feeling--and you didn’t know their name or who they were. Hell, you didn’t even know if it was a man or a woman. 

Sighing, you closed your eyes for a short moment. You felt wrong for looking, truly you did, but curiosity managed to get the best of you in the moment. 

It was a man. 

You didn’t know if that made you feel better or not. 

-------

The next day wasn’t like anything you expected. 

Your morning had started off slow, an awful crick in your neck from falling asleep with your head in a book for the third time in a row that week. It was approximately noon when you got out of the shower, feeling more refreshed than you were an hour prior and a cup of freshly made peppermint tea warming your hands. The only plans you had for today were to get more ginger root and yarrow to help with some of the dull pain from your cut, the wound healing up nicely so far--though you suspected there will be a scar left behind. 

When you had exited your cabin you had expected to see the lycan sitting waiting for you like he always does, but the spot he had claimed as his was cold and empty. You tried not to overthink it too much, albeit you were a little disappointed at the lack of company as you weaved through the trees. 

It was about an hour since you had first left, sweat started to bead at your forehead as you looked for the herbs you needed quickly. The leaves from the trees above helped shelter some of the sweltering heat and provide some shade, though your clothes still continued to stick to your body unpleasantly. 

There was an uncomfortable feeling steadily creeping up your neck, your hands stilling on the forest ground as you strained your ears to listen for anything that may be off. Behind you there was suddenly a low growl, the sound of stray twigs snapping under immense weight. 

You had thought that it was just your lycan friend--you’ve yet to actually learn his name yet, you were still working on it--fooling around and trying to scare you like he used to do. Smiling, you stood up and turned around. 

That was your first mistake. 

Gasping, you stumbled back out of fear. Standing there was a wolf, a fairly large one at that, with muddy red fur and a deranged look in its eyes as it snarled at you. It’s growls got louder as it stalked closer to you, the fur on its back raised and saliva flying from it’s canines as it barked at you in aggression. 

Your heart was beating erratically against your chest, fear coiling around your throat like a snake and tightening so hard it felt like it was hard to breathe. You stepped back, your movements slow and steady in an attempt to not show any signs of aggression--the creature not slowing any signs of backing down as it continued its advancements towards you. 

The wolf lunged at you unexpectedly, it’s jaws snapping a few inches away from your lower stomach and saliva splattering against your thighs. Fear took over as you ran, thorns and branches whipping at your exposed legs and creating blistering marks in their wake. Your lungs burned painfully, the sound of the creature quickly catching up taunting you as you attempted to outrun it. 

You were foolish to think you could outsmart a creature of speed and agility, tears of frustration and fear burning your cheeks as they fell and disappeared on the forest floor. Before you could register what happened there was sharp pain in your leg, your screams piercing the silent forest. 

There was blood. A lot of blood. Your hands shook violently as they touched the cold metal of the bear trap currently hooked in your leg, the pain immeasurable and quickly spreading throughout your entire body with no signs of rest. 

“No, no, no!” you cried, shaking your head violently and attempting to pry the trap off of you. It ended up just causing you more pain, blood dripping from the wound and soaking the dirt below you. 

The growls were back, louder than before as the creature busted through the foliage with a murderous look in its eyes. It’s barks and snarls ridiculing you as you hysterically tried to rip the metal off, hot tears running down your face and your cries getting lost in the ruckus. 

 The thought of dying out here, alone, broke your heart. 

Everything felt distant, you could feel yourself passing out. The only thing you could discern from your quickly blurring vision was two large figures on the ground, fighting and snarling through a clash of bared teeth. You couldn’t hear anything through the ringing in your ears, the sickening crunch of bone being the last thing to echo in your head as your chest heaved slowly and your fingers turned cold. You watched drearily as the figure pinned underneath the other fall limp against the ground. 

The last thing that entered your peripheral before you blacked out was glowing red eyes surrounded by inky darkness.

---------- 

  It was quiet, the only sounds in the room being your gentle breathing and the rough scratching of a pen against paper. Your fists clenched around the softness of the blankets swathed around you, the sun harsh against your eyes as you blearily opened them and grimaced at the awful, stale taste in your mouth. A headache was consistently pounding against your head, mingling with the dulled pain coming from your leg that made you whimper quietly. 

“You’re awake,” somebody said beside you, their voice loud in the otherwise quiet room. There was suddenly a warm hand on your forehead, feeling for a temperature briefly before it left just as quick as it came. “I’m glad. You’ve been out for awhile now.” 

Panic struck your entire being at the foreign voice, your eyes squinting as you attempted to look at the source through your blurry vision. It was a man, he had a somewhat baby face which was accompanied by broad shoulders hidden underneath a plain black t-shirt; his dark hair falling over the worried look on his face when he leaned over the bed to look at you. 

“Who-who are you,” you asked, your voice wavering as you attempted to back away from the stranger. There was a sharp pain in your leg as you quickly sat up, moving to push yourself against the corner of the bed in an attempt to get as far away from him as possible. “Where am I?”  

“Calm down, it’s okay,” He spoke, his voice gentle as he raised his hands to not show any harm. His eyebrows were furrowed underneath his hair, a deep frown on his lips as he moved his gaze down to your leg that was hidden beneath the sheets. “My name is Seokjin, I’ve been helping you recover from your injuries the last few days. Do you remember what happened?” 

Shaking your head, you wrung your hands in the blankets uncomfortably as you tried to process the situation. Your memory was extremely foggy, bits and pieces at the forefront of your mind but nothing too significant. A ll you could remember was the feeling of the wind burning your lungs, how the tears felt as they burned your face and the absolute fear that consumed your entire body.

You stared at the door a couple feet away from you, thinking of a way to get as far away from this person as possible. Realistically you knew that even if you tried to run you wouldn’t get that far, your injury preventing you from doing so. That couldn’t stop you from trying, though. 

“Please don’t do anything you’re going to regret,” Seokjin sighed, following your line of sight. When he looked back at you his eyes were a vivid shade of gold, almost like the wild dandelions that were growing near the edge of your cabin, your own widening in shock. 

You remembered reading somewhere about the varying eye colors of lycans and what they signified, the different ranks present in a pack. Contrary to popular belief a pack’s dynamic wasn’t based on the submissiveness of those considered to be weaker or inferior, rather it was a system built on the caring nature of a single lycan’s personality-- if they were born leaders or natural caretakers at heart.

 Omegas were blessed with yellow eyes that resembled the early morning sun and are generally the most caring, often given the weighty responsibility of caring for young pups or tending to the injured. Betas had eyes the color of the deep ocean and are regarded as the peacekeepers, the safety net. They’re calm and do most of the logical thinking. 

Then there’s Alphas. They have taunting red eyes and are the primary leaders, usually bigger and stronger than the rest of the pack to make sure everybody stays in line instead of going awry or rogue. Their main responsibility is to keep the pack safe, to lead. 

“Y-you’re a lycan?” you whispered, voice shaky. Admittedly you felt more pacified than you did a few moments prior, though you still didn’t completely trust this lycan or his intentions. 

Unsurprisingly Seokjin didn’t seem shocked by your knowing, a small smile tugging at his lips as he slowly lowered his arms to rest them by his side.

“What happened to me.” you demanded quietly. 

The lycan sighed, a distraught look on his face as a hand came up to comb through his hair. To be truthful, Seokjin didn’t know exactly what to say to that. He felt it wasn’t fair for him to speak on it further without his brother being present, afterall he wasn’t there when the incident occurred and he knew how much the other wanted to see you when you woke up. 

“I think that it’s better if Jeongguk explains that to you.” He eventually spoke, voice low and a knowing look in his eyes. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion at his reply. 

“Who?” 

“You’ll recognize him when you see him.” With that Seokjin left the room, closing the door softly behind him. You could hear his footsteps quickly fading as he left, your shoulders falling with a sigh you didn’t realize you were holding. It was quiet for a while after that, the soft chirping of birds outside seeping through the open window next to you and the atmosphere almost serene in nature. 

Curiosity managed to get the better of you, your hands gripping the blankets covering your leg as you carefully untucked it, grimacing at what you saw. Your entire lower leg was tore up, a couple stitches suturing close some of the worse ones near your ankle and a series of smaller cuts and blisters sweltering above them. Everything was covered in some form on semi-translucent film, yarrow you believed it was, and was extremely tender to the touch as you gently prodded the areas with your fingers. 

“You shouldn’t be touching that.” 

Whipping your head around at the sound of the voice, your eyes quickly landing on a figure standing shyly in the doorway. He was young, that much was obvious, no older than twenty with hair the same shade as coal and big, doe eyes that stared at you in earnest. Jeongguk, you would believe Seokjin said his name was.

 You didn’t speak as he stepped further into the room, nervousness dripping from his form like honey as he opened and closed his mouth in an attempt to form words. 

“I’m sorry,” he eventually let out, eyes downcast on the polished wooden floor beneath his feet. “This shouldn’t have happened. I’m sorry.” 

Opting to stay silent you watched the boy from beneath a curious, questioning gaze. You were fairly certain you didn’t recognize his face from anywhere, but you could feel a sense of familiarity between the two of you.

 He kept his face down, hidden away from your scrutinizing gaze but you could still see his eyes turn from their normal dark brown to a deep cherry wine color at his obviously distraught emotional state. 

You could recognize those eyes anywhere, no matter what happened. It was the lycan that visited you every day, the one you befriended and grew to trust. You felt more at ease than you did before. 

Shifting on the bed, you sat up before speaking. “Do you know where am I, Jeongguk?” 

If he was shocked at the sound of his name passing through your lips he didn’t show it, opting to shift slightly closer to the bed where you were situated. You could see the apprehensiveness apparent on his face, worried about how you would react to the information he was eventually going to give you. 

“You’re in my home, we brought you here after the attack.” 

You nodded, furrowing your eyebrows as you processed his words.

“About that,” you whispered, nervous and unsure of how to word your question properly. “What exactly happened that day, Jeongguk?” 

Jeongguk sighed, sitting down on the edge of the bed without thinking of how you would react and burying his face in his hands. To be honest, he felt awful about what happened. It was his fault, their fault. 

“Recently there were issues with a rogue intruding on our territory,” He began, his eyes solely focused on the birch flooring. “We were out patrolling the borders when I managed to catch his scent.” 

From there Jeongguk explained everything that occurred, sparing you some of the more gory details of the altercation he had with the lone wolf at his rather unexpected arrival, stopping periodically to gauge your reaction. It felt odd having somebody explain to you what happened to your own body, the memories still buried beneath the heaviness of shock and denial. Maybe that was for the best, you thought.

“I’m sorry.” 

Furrowing your eyebrows you moved to look at the boy, your mind still reeling as you placed the pieces together. “This isn’t your fault.” 

“But it is!” He abruptly stood up, burying his hands in his hair and his eyes shifting. “I-I should have been there, with you. We should have driven the rogue out before anything like this could happen.” 

Both of you stayed silent after that.

Technically he was right, if he had gotten the rogue lycan off his territory none of this would have happened, you wouldn’t be lying here injured and confused. But you also knew deep down he did everything he could to prevent it. 

-------- 

A few days have passed since you woke up, your leg felt significantly better than it had in the beginning and the swelling was greatly reduced after each night. Jeongguk visited you every morning and stayed a couple hours to help keep you entertained, bringing a blank notebook and some pencils with him as you two drew to pass the time. Sometimes you talked, sometimes you didn’t. But you were comfortable.

Seokjin would come in to check on you and your injury at least two times a day, washing it with cold water to get rid of any dirt that may cause an infection and replacing the yarrow treatment before bandaging it up again. 

“Where did you learn so much about medicine?” you asked one day, watching as Seokjin finished up wrapping your leg with piqued interest. 

He smiled, standing up from where he was sitting on the edge of the bed next to you and gathering up his supplies. The clothes he was wearing today were rather simple, a loose white shirt tucked into black ripped jeans. He looked good, you thought. 

“Il sung, your grandfather, taught me actually,” there was a fond look on his face as he spoke, his fingers stilling on the bowl of yarrow he used to soak your leg a couple moments prior.

“Were you close?” 

Seokjin nodded, looking at you with golden eyes from beneath his lashes. You reminded him so much of Il sung that it hurt, the look in your eyes as you spoke to him and your rather gentle disposition almost an exact copy. 

“Very.” 

--------

It’s been a week now, and you were getting considerably restless. In the entire duration you’ve been staying here you haven’t left the room once; there was a bathroom across from your bed and food was brought to you regularly by either Seokjin or Jeongguk, so you never had a reason to leave. But now that was going to change. 

Swinging your legs gently over the bed, you pushed the heavy blankets off of you and carefully made your way to the door. The wood was relatively cold against your bare feet, the obnoxiously oversized t-shirt Jeongguk had given you to wear after you took a shower brushed against your black sweats, a slight limp in your leg present. 

It was silent when you first stepped out. There were a couple other doors next to yours, all of which were closed and locked with a staircase leading down to the lower floor. Your hand held against the railing as you carefully limped down the steps, observing how everything was engrossed in a sheet of darkness with the absence of the lights being turned on. 

There was nobody in the main room from what you could tell, nor the open kitchen that was located in front of a rather large sliding glass window overlooking the backyard. The cabin was relatively modern, the walls a light birch color and the flooring darkly tinted; it felt similar to your own home, a fact that made you feel more comfortable. 

What captured your attention the most was that it was too quiet, too desolate. You knew that at least two lycans lived here, Seokjin and Jeongguk, so there had to be more hiding in the shadows somewhere. Wolves run in a pack rather than alone, so the only question was where they were. 

Moving from the kitchen to the main area, you smiled at the feeling of your feet coming in contact with the fluffy rug laid out on the floor, the material soft and warm against your bruised soles. There were a couple pictures hanging on the walls to add some decoration, but not too many as you looked around. Turning to observe more of the living area, you raised your eyebrows at what you saw. 

There was a wolf laying on the couch, a heavy blanket covering most of its body as its vivid blue eyes stared lazily at you. It had earthy brown fur, not as dark as Jeongguk’s but not that light either, cream white and tawny decorating around its snout, chest and one of its ears. You recognized it from the picture sitting above your fireplace mantle back at home. 

“Hi,” you smiled, a little put off at the prolonged eye contact it insisted on making. No matter how many lycans you surround yourself with, you’ll never get over how intimidating their eyes are. 

The wolf seemed to perk up at the sound of your voice, getting up and stretching lazily before excitedly bounding over to you. It was tall, reaching up to the middle of your stomach in height with a slightly lanky but muscular build.

 It’s snout was immediately buried in your stomach when it got close enough, sniffing and wagging its tail almost like an oversized dog. You giggled at the feeling of it’s tongue against your bare skin, it’s tongue rough against your navel as it stuck its head underneath your shirt. It was a little too friendly--you almost forgot there was actually a person in that wolf’s body instead of just an animal. 

“I see you’ve met Taehyung.” 

Turning to look at the source of the voice, disbelief took over your features at what, moreso who, you saw. Perhaps you should have seen it coming, and in all honesty you think deep down you did. You just wonder how many other surprises are out there waiting for you at this point. 

“Namjoon?” 

He flashed you a dimpled smile in reply, placing the grocery bags he was carrying in his hands onto the kitchen island. His silver blonde hair was covering his forehead, a little longer than the last time you saw him but overall nothing really changed. A couple of others came strolling in after him, their hands full with varying other items and smiles stretching their faces as they laughed at something you were unaware of. 

Jeongguk came in next, his smile immediately fading at the sight of you and Taehyung. His eyes changed to their blood red color, glaring at the wolf in front of you and the rather friendly position both of you were in. 

“Back off Tae.” He growled lowly, rolling his eyes at the smug huff that came out of the Beta’s mouth. Taehyung was testing his limits and he knew it. 

Either way the wolf complied and stepped back, the air suddenly cold against your stomach where the immense heat of his head used to be. Seokjin came in last, mumbling under his breath about something you didn’t care to strain your ears to find out, his eyes widening at the sight of you.

“What the hell are you doing out of bed?” Seokjin stammered, dropping the bags he had in his hands and quickly rushing towards your side. He rolled up the leg of your sweats to check on your injury, making sure none of the stitches were pulled in your little endeavor out of your room. 

“Seokjinn,” you whined, trying your best to balance on one leg as the lycan in question examined the other. “I was sick of being cooped up in the room all day, I needed to get out for a little bit.” 

Standing up from his crouched position, Seokjin sighed as he gave you a disapproving look. He had his hands on his hips like a scolding mother, the imagery in your head making you smile. 

“Do you understand how dangerous that could be if you pulled one of your stitches coming down the steps?”

 As bad as you felt for doing so, you completely tuned out Seokjin’s voice. You didn’t feel bad for leaving the room without his permission first, and you weren’t going to let him make you think so either, even though you knew that he was only scolding you out of the wellness in his heart. 

Your attention quickly shifted to a door that was opening on the second floor, Seokjin’s voice little more than white nose as a very sleepy looking man soon came into view. It was Yoongi, you remembered his name being, his head of black hair a mess atop his head and his clothes in disarray as he made his way down the steps. 

“Wow Yoongi, way to look presentable for guests,” One of the men you didn’t recognize taunted, laughing when the other flipped him off. He had light blonde hair and a wide smile, a little intimidating but an otherwise welcoming aura to him. 

You and Yoongi made brief eye contact as he passed into the main room, his eyes flashing blue quickly in an intimidating glare as he sat down on the couch.  

“Well since everybody is here,” Namjoon began, his voice capturing everybody’s attention in a matter of seconds. Even Jeongguk looked up from where he was stuffing his face with a sandwich you didn’t even know where he got. “I think we’re due for some introductions.” 

You soon found out that the man who patronized Yoongi was named Hoseok, his bright smile catching you slightly off guard when he directed it at you for the first time. There was another, Jimin his name was, a little short and quiet with chocolate brown hair that was parted in the middle but he has a nice, gentle smile and a good heart from what you could tell. 

-------

Later that evening you found yourself sitting on the couch watching T.V with Taehyung. Seokjin had made dinner for everybody about an hour prior, luckily he hadn’t made you return back to your room pending your full recovery so you had a chance to really get to know everybody. 

You had become surprisingly comfortable with them pretty quick, helping put the groceries and other purchases from their once a month trip to the city where they belonged while making conversation. Everyone was nice to you, even Yoongi. 

Taehyung had refused to shift back for reasons unknown to you, his head heavy in your lap as you ran your fingers through his soft fur but you didn’t complain. You could hear him whine when your fingers stopped petting him, a soft chuckle leaving your lips at the sound. In the short time you knew him, you could tell he was just attention starved and affection rather than a big scary wolf. 

The sun had set quickly thereafter, the day quickly bleeding into the night as you finally felt the effects of the day wearing you out. Namjoon, Jeongguk and Yoongi had left somewhere into the woods about an hour ago, for what reason you didn’t really know but you didn’t feel like questioning them at the time, trusting it was important. 

--------

Jeongguk groaned, the sound of his bones cracking back into place as he shifted sounded brutal even to his own ears. It was well into the night now, they had just gotten back from patrolling the borders for the third time in only a week. Ever since your attack he’s been paranoid about something like that happening again, his nights filled with sleepless regret as your attack replayed in his head like a bad dream. He tried not to think about it too much as he quickly pulled the clothes he left out on the porch over his naked body. 

“You coming?” Yoongi called out to him in a gruff voice, staring at him from his position in the doorway of the sliding glass window. The moonlight shone lightly over his shirtless pale figure. 

“Yea, in a bit.”

The black haired boy simply nodded, shutting the door behind him with a soft click. Jeongguk just needed time to think, to try to gather his thoughts before returning back inside and being forced to face his insecurities and fears. What happened that night, should have never happened. He was supposed to be there to protect you and he wasn’t, that was something he would never forgive himself for. 

A couple minutes passed before he sighed, finally moving to go back inside. His eyes immediately fell on your sleeping form, the brightly flashing colors of the T.V reflecting off your face beautifully as a smile rested upon his lips. It was the same smile that immediately was replaced by a deep scowl at the sight of the lycan currently resting on your lap. 

“You’re really pushing it, Tae,” Jeongguk growled, his fists clenching at his sides. Taehyung’s blue eyes only smugly stared at him in response, rolling over onto his back on the couch with his head still in your lap. 

“Go.” 

Taehyung growled at him quietly in response before lazily getting off the couch, the sounds of his nails padding against the wood echoing in the halls before it was replaced by the gruesome crunching of bones as they rearranged themselves back in place. You shivered at the sudden absence of the wolf’s warmth, your face scrunching up as you curled in on yourself on the couch. Jeongguk’s heart swelled at the sight. 

Moving to turn the T.V off, the room was engulfed in silence and darkness as he came back to where you were resting, gently hooking his arms around your back and knees to bring you up to his chest. He walked up the stairs to where your room was located, placing you on the bed softly before carefully tucking you in. 

He was falling, faster than he’d like to and worse than he expected.

-------- 

 The sun was annoyingly bright against your eyes, your cheeks warm and flushed as they stretched in a wide smile while you watched the lycans interact with each other in the backyard below. You could see two wolves wrestling in the dirt a couple feet away, what you recognized as Jimin’s slightly smaller form pinning Taehyung beneath his paws as his exaggerated yelps caught your ears. Namjoon and Yoongi were sitting on the porch, their fur rustling slightly in the wind as they quietly observed. You didn’t know where the other two were. 

It’s been two weeks since your attack, and two weeks since you’ve arrived at the pack house. Your injury was pretty much healed by now, minus a couple cuts and some bruises that were an ugly mix of green and purple, but Seokjin said you were pretty much ready to go back home whenever you were feeling up to it. You were extremely happy at the news, missing the feeling of fading white pages beneath your fingers and the wet soil on your knees as you took care of the garden. 

The only issue you faced now was how you were going to tell Jeongguk about it. 

Both of you have grown significantly closer, between the sparing glaces and the way your heart beats uncomfortably against your chest when one of the other pack members so much as mentions him, you would go as far as saying you fell for the lycan. 

Sometimes the two of you would spend the nights together on his bed talking about nothing and everything at the same time from dusk till dawn, other times he would lead you to a secret lake in the early morning just to watch as the sky bleeds into stunning hues of crimson and rose right in front of your very eyes. 

It was amazing, he was amazing. And that scared you. So much. 

These last few years of your life have been filled with so much pain and loneliness, you don’t know if you could handle giving up possibly the best thing you’ve ever had. Jeongguk was something that came hurtling at you out of nowhere like a bullet, ripping through your chest and leaving you scrambling at each breath. He was pain and pleasure coexisting in one, something you didn’t know if you could handle at this point in your life. 

The sound of the shower turning off managed to take you out of your thoughts, steam coming out of the bathroom as Jeongguk exited, roughly toweling his hair in an attempt to dry it and his sweats hanging low on his hips. He was in there for almost an hour in an attempt to sate his nerves, or more specifically after you yelled at him for pacing so long you were worried he would put a dent in the flooring. It gave you some much needed time to think. 

“Hey,” Jeongguk whispered, sitting down next to you on the bed and following your gaze to watch the rest of his pack below with lidded vermillion eyes. 

“Hey,” your eyes drifted down to his bare chest, your fingers reaching out on their own accord to touch the flattened scars that were littered there. They were slightly pink, more flesh toned and obviously old. The boy was quiet as he rested his hand on top yours, his skin incredibly warm and his heartbeat quickening beneath your palm. 

You took a deep breath before finally opening up to him. 

“Y’know, earlier today Seokjin said I was pretty much healed,” you spoke, linking your fingers together with the lycans quietly. You refused to look at his face, solely focusing on your entwined hands still resting above his heart. “He said that I can go home.” 

Jeongguk was quiet at that, his grip around your palm tightening slightly. At the mention of the word ‘home’ he faltered, a sharp pain in chest as he felt his heart break slightly. He knew it was selfish for him to want you to stay here with him, to live with him, to be with him--but that didn’t stop him from desiring it.

“When are you leaving?” Jeongguk whispered, keeping his eyes on your intertwined hands. The look on his face and the sound of his voice made your heart hurt. 

“Taehyung said he’d help me get ready in the morning,” your voice was quiet, your palm suddenly cold when the lycan got off the bed in haste. He stood in the center of your room, deathly quiet as he raised a hand to thread through his damp hair. “Make sure I get back home safely.”

His eyes seemed to glow in the sudden darkness of your room, the sun quickly retreating back into the horizon while the moon came to take its place in the sky. He didn’t know what to do, what to think. He knew he could still visit you like he used to, sit with his head in your lap and the feeling of your fingers combing through the tangles in his fur with the afternoon sun on his face, but he also knew deep down things wouldn’t be the same. 

 You were shocked when he came back, his palms warm against your cheeks as he looked into your eyes as he pleaded, “Stay here, with me. We can take care of you, I can take care of you. You wouldn’t be alone anymore.” 

Tears welled up in your eyes, lip quivering and your voice cracking as you looked at the desperate look on his face. “I-I can’t. You know that.” 

You couldn’t leave behind your life and everything that was entrusted to you to live with a pack of lycans, some of whom you’ve only known for a short two weeks. It was crazy, and if it was the full moon influencing his actions you didn’t know but the pleading look in his eyes broke your heart. 

 “I should go then,” Jeongguk dropped his hands from your face, backing up towards the door. He was looking everywhere but you.“The pack is waiting for me.” 

You followed him as he made his way down the steps, slower than the lycan as you attempted to catch up to him. The attempt was futile, his hands were already gripping the handle to the sliding glass door and exiting before you could even make it past the main room. “Jeongguk, wait!”  

The rest of the pack was waiting outside, already shifted and waiting impatiently as they stared at both of you. He ignored your voice, untying his sweats and pulling them down his legs as he got ready for the run. You turned around to give him some privacy, a deep flush covering your cheeks as you jumped at the sudden sound of bones shortening and elongating, cracking and rearranging as he shifted. 

It wasn’t as quick and harmless as it appeared in movies or shows, the process agonizing long as it hurt your ears to listen to. 

You only turned back around once it was silent, watching with glistening eyes as Namjoon led the rest of the pack into the darkness of the forest ahead of you. The pale moonlight of the full moon reflected off of Jeongguk’s coat, making him appear almost a dark blue color as he slowed to a stop behind everyone else. 

He turned back to look at you, ears lowered against his head as you both just looked at each other. You didn’t know if he could see the tears staining your cheeks or the solemn look in your eyes, but if he did he didn’t acknowledge them as he ran to catch up with his brothers deep in the trees. 

----------

The entire house seemed as if it was abandoned. There was no Seokjin yelling at one of the other boys for messing around in the kitchen while he was cooking, or Taehyung and Hoseok wrestling on the main room floor over whoever gets the last strip of bacon. The worst was the absence of Jeongguk’s gentle breathing as he laid next to you, sprawled out on your bed after a long night of talking as the gentle rise and fall of his chest lulled you back to sleep. It was too quiet, and you hated it. 

It was almost six in the morning when you finally saw the first break in the treeline. The sun hasn’t come out yet, the sky still bathed in darkness but from what you could make out there were only six wolves tiredly trotting back to the house as opposed to seven. Furrowing your eyebrows, you lifted your head from where it was resting on top of your folded arms, recognizing each lycan almost immediately and noticing that the only one missing was Jeongguk. 

By the time you made your way to the bottom of the steps the pack was already shifting, their exhausted groans reaching your ears as they pulled their clothes on with tired, battered breaths. The lycan you were looking for was nowhere in sight.

“Hey, Y/N,” you jumped slightly at the feeling of a hand on your skin, turning around to see Seokjin looking at you with a worried expression on his face. “What’s wrong?” 

Confusion and worry laced your features as you looked around, your hope of expecting to see the black haired boy the more you searched dwindling. “Jeongguk, where is he?” 

Seokjin only sighed in response, a look on his face you didn’t feel like acknowledging as his hand squeezed the flesh of your arm comfortingly. He opened his mouth to speak, “I think we should go back inside to talk-” 

“No!” You pulled back from his grip, staring at him in disbelief as he attempted to shut down your inquiry. The others were looking at the both of you with empathetic gazes, making you feel gross and exposed. “Why isn’t he here, Seokjin? I need to talk to him.” 

“We don’t know where he is,” Namjoon spoke lightly, his hand resting in the middle of Seokjin’s bare back as he slowly walked up from behind him. His eyes were gentle as he looked at you, their intimidating red color not doing much to help calm you. “He’ll be back, Y/N, I promise. He just needed time to think.” 

Jeongguk needed time away because of you. You didn’t know how to react to that, your eyes downcast as the older Omega gently led you back inside. There was no protest this time, the exhaustion of everything finally catching up to you as settled to retiring yourself back to bed.

--------

Later that night you found yourself in the kitchen. It was dark, almost midnight the last time you checked, a bowl of barely touched cereal in front of you as you let yourself get lost in your thoughts. 

Seokjin had come in about half an hour prior to talk with you, not necessarily about anything specific but you knew what he implied beneath all his questions and comments. It helped a little bit to discuss everything you were feeling with somebody who actually listened, and Seokjin had a natural ability to cheer you up.

You looked up at the sound of footsteps, sighing at the sight of Yoongi quickly coming into view. It wasn’t like you disliked the lycan, you two just didn’t have the strongest connection with each other yet and if you were being honest you were slightly intimidated by the black haired boy. He was quiet, always observing and barely talking. 

Nobody spoke, not that you were surprised, the sound of your metal spoon clinking against the bowl sharp against the otherwise silent room. Yoongi stood with his back against the fridge, a bottle of water held tight between his nimble, pale fingers as he watched you with an intimidating gaze. 

“We need to talk,” He suddenly spoke, moving to rest his forearms on the kitchen island. “About Jeongguk.” 

You knew this was coming. Between Yoongi and Seokjin, you wouldn’t be surprised if the whole pack knew about what happened between you and Jeongguk. That doesn’t mean you want to speak to them about it, though.

“I didn’t do anything wrong.” your voice was quiet, your eyes remaining downcast on the now soggy bowl of cereal. 

“You’re right, you didn’t.” You could feel his eyes on you, watching your face for any shift in reaction, no matter how miniscule. This is the most you’ve ever heard him speak in the two weeks you’ve known him. “But Jeongguk, he’s-he’s young. He’s sensitive.” 

There was nothing to say, nothing you could say. You knew that all of this was coming from the good of heart, but it felt like you were getting blamed for something that was out of your control. 

“I know you’re still slightly new at this,” you scoffed at that, tonguing the inside of your cheek in frustration. It sounded like he was placing the blame on you, like it was your fault Jeongguk lashed out and didn’t come back. It wasn’t though, and you weren’t going to let him, or anybody else, make it seem like it was. “But things are different for us. We don’t feel things the same way you do, we don’t understand things like you do.” 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” you mumbled, pushing away the bowl of cereal. 

“Wolves mate for life, Y/N.” Yoongi spoke, his voice uncharacteristically soft as he looked at the upset look on your face. “And Jeongguk already fell for you.” 

--------- 

Jeongguk didn’t come back for a week. 

The wait for him was agonizingly long, not just for you but for the rest of the pack as well. By the fourth day you could see the nervousness apparent on the other’s faces, and then by the fifth you could hear the arguments in the other room and the tiny whispers at dinner. You couldn’t help but feel like this was your fault, the guilt constantly eating away at your stomach and making you feel sick. 

You knew Jeongguk could easily take care of himself out there, but that didn’t stop you from worrying about him. 

You managed to hear him before you saw him. 

It was getting pretty late, the sun quickly setting into the horizon as you sat in the main room. Everybody else had already retired back into their rooms for the night, leaving you alone as you mindlessly drew in an old sketchbook Jeongguk had given you the first few nights you were here.

 He obviously didn’t want to be heard, immediately backtracking as soon as his paw made a creak in the wood flooring of the porch. 

“Jeongguk?” you whispered, setting your stuff down on the couch before slowly getting up. The lycan looked at you with an unreadable expression on his face, ears pinned on his head as he quickly retreated back in the forest.

 Your bare feet scratched against the harsh forest floor as you followed after him, the clean clothes one of the boys left out each night in case he came back one night in your hands as you quickly caught up to him. He wasn’t running, he was hardly even jogging, instead walking at a leisurely pace ahead of you with his nose held high. 

He stopped behind a tree to shift, the sounds making your nose curl in disgust as you dropped the clothes on the floor next to him before turning around to give him privacy. You could hear the sound of him pulling his pants up, facing him again once you heard him start to walk away. 

“Where have you been, Jeongguk?” you questioned, your anger quickly rising as he made it a point to stay silent. Fresh scratches and bruises littered his sides and shoulders, the sight making you even more upset than before. 

“What happened, Guk? Why are you all beat up?” your anger was quickly replaced with worry, tears welling in your eyes at the sight of him. His standoffish attitude was really starting to affect you, you hadn’t even had a chance to properly see his face as he kept his back turned towards you but you would bet it looked just as worse as the rest of him. 

“Everybody was worried about you,” tears were falling down your cheeks openly now, the pent up emotions finally making an appearance. Your voice was shaky and low as you confessed, “I was worried about you.”

Jeongguk stopped suddenly at that, his fists clenching at his sides as he hung his head. You carefully made your way up to him, your cold palm against his hot skin making him jump slightly as you touched the center of his back. His face wasn’t as bad as you expected, a small cut on his cheek being the only thing you could see as you stepped in front of him. 

“Did you feel anything between us?” He looked vulnerable as he asked you that question, nothing like the big bad Alpha that you first met all those months ago. The thought made you chuckle, your hand reaching up to softly stroke the cut on his face. “Anything at all?” 

“Of course I did, Guk.” you smiled, your thumb tracing indistinguishable shapes on his cheek as you looked into his eyes. 

“Then why won’t you stay with me?” 

You sighed, closing your eyes for a brief moment before reopening them. He was young, younger than you at least, so you knew you couldn’t blame him for not understanding. “It’s not that simple, Jeongguk you know that.”  

The lycan nodded, the once hopeful look in his eye dying as he attempted to take a step back away from your touch. You grabbed him before he could, both of your hands cupping his cheeks as you forced him to look at you. 

“But we will find a way,” you smiled at him, your heart fluttering at the confused expression on his face. “I’m not going to leave you, Guk. Never.”

You intended to keep true to your statement, there had to be a way to figure this all out. No situation was purely black and white, and you’ll find the shades of gray in between no matter what. 

The feeling of his lips was incredibly warm as he pushed them against yours, slightly chapped but otherwise still soft. The amount of emotion he put into kissing you wasn’t anything you felt before, the feeling of his tongue sweeping against the plumpness of your lower lip and the heat from his body sending butterflies in your stomach. 

His hands fell down to your hips, pushing up your t-shirt to feel the softness of your stomach beneath his palms with battered breaths before pushing you back. You gasped at the feeling of the rough tree bark against you, his body pinning you further back as he continued exploring your mouth with his own. 

You pulled back slightly, breathing heavily and your lips red and plump with saliva. Jeongguk smirked at the sight, his thumb coming up to pull down your bottom lip with the tip of his finger before moving his mouth to the sensitive skin of your neck. The elongated point of his incisors scrapped lightly against your pulse, making you shudder at the sensation.

This was everything Jeongguk dreamed of; the feeling of your soft skin beneath his claws and the innocent look in your eyes as you stared up at him. The things he’d do to you as you lied beneath him, baring your neck in submission to your Alpha as pumped you full of his seed in hopes of putting his pups in your belly. He shuddered at the thought. 

The strands of his hair were silky beneath your fingertips, gasping and tugging at the roots as he bit down on a certain area of your neck that made your core clench. You didn’t know if he could smell your quickly rising arousal, but judging by the smirk you felt against your lips as he kissed his way back up your neck proved he did. 

“Guk,” you whispered, whimpering at the feeling of his palm applying pressure lightly against your navel. “Are we-?” 

Jeongguk opened his eyes, his hands stilling immediately as he moved his face in front of yours. “Do you want to?” 

“I do.” You nodded, moving your hands from his hair to his bare back, mindful of the bruises and cuts already there. The lycan continued his ministrations, pulling your shirt above your head quickly before making his way down your clavicle. You were hyper aware of the fact you were outside, mindful of anything, or anyone, who may be watching or listening. 

“So pretty,” Jeongguk murmured into your skin, biting and sucking marks into your breast. You whimpered at the feeling of his tongue on your nipple, sucking it into his mouth before pulling back and blowing cold air on it. His hands were on your waist, kneading roughly as he pushed his body further against yours. “You don’t understand how long I’ve wanted this.”

“Me too,” Your voice was breathy, your hands reached down to palm him slowly over his jeans as his whimpers of pleasure sent waves of arousal through your body. He pulled back from your grip, smirking at you as you attempted to reign him back in--your body cold and exposed to anybody who may be watching.

You furrowed your eyebrows as you watched him pick up his discarded hoodie, laying it out on the forest floor before walking back over to you. He led you back towards it slowly, his mouth back on yours as he licked into your mouth and his hand wrapped around your throat possessively. 

The fabric was soft against your knees as he carefully pushed you down, the feeling of his warm hand splayed around your neck making you dizzy in pleasure. 

“Guk,” you whispered, kissing one of the bruises that were blossoming on his side gently. He moved his hand from your neck to hair, tightening it in a fist as you unbuttoned his jeans, pushing down the denim to expose his cock to your hungry eyes.  

Jeongguk was big, flushed red at the tip with veins running along the skin, hot and heavy in your hand as you gripped him. Your mouth watered slightly at the sight, pushing your thighs together before licking a long stripe from the base all the way to the head. His groans made your core clench, shifting desperately for friction. 

Your lips wrapped around his cock, stretching around his girth as your tongue wrapped around the tip and dipped into the slit. The lycan moaned loudly, his fist tightening in your hair and tugging you down slowly. 

“‘S this okay?” Jeongguk asked quietly, whimpering at the feeling of you humming an affirmative around him. You worked on getting him slick with spit, a steady rhythm starting to form the more you bobbed your head up and down. 

Gagging slightly at the pressure at the back of your throat you went as far down as you could, tears bubbling in your eyes as you relished in the pleasured moans coming from his mouth. You could feel your core clenching around nothing, the wetness between your thighs making you shift uncomfortably at the emptiness. 

Pulling off with a pop saliva dripped down your chin, your hands spreading the wetness on his shaft as you looked up at him with fucked out eyes. You felt his hand wrap lightly around your throat again, the pressure intoxicating as you pushed you to lie down on the ground. 

Jeongguk’s mouth was back on yours as soon as your back touched the fabric, his forearms caged around your head. You moaned at the feeling of one of his hands coming down to rub your core over the thin material of your leggings, hips rising of their own accord to chase after the feeling.

“Mmm, you’re so wet, baby,” The lycan purred, biting down on your bottom lip with one of his incisors. It stung, you could taste the iron as blood seeped from the cut and into your mouth. Jeongguk growled at the sight, taking the chance to lick into your mouth and taste the blood on your tongue with his own. 

The feeling was intoxicating, your head swimming with pleasure as you felt Jeongguk’s rough fingers dip beneath your clothes and stroke your bare core. You haven’t been this intimate with anybody in a long time, so you were extremely sensitive to all his advances. 

“Fuck,” you whimpered, wincing at the slight burn as he inserted a fingered into you slowly. You haven’t had anything inside of you for so long, welcoming the pain that came with it.

“Gonna stretch you out nice and good,” Jeongguk whispered in your ear, biting on the soft flesh there. “Make sure you’re ready to take my fat cock, isn’t that right baby?” 

You nodded at his words, grinding your hips onto his fingers as the tightening feeling in your lower stomach kept building. His words were affecting you more than you thought, your fluids dripping down his digits and soaking your leggings. 

He hastily got rid of the offending garment, a slight tearing sound reaching your ears as you were left completely bare in front of his hungry eyes. You gasped when you were suddenly flipped over, cheek pressed up against the soft fabric of Jeongguk’s hoodie and your hips pulled high in a rather demeaning, submissive position. 

The sudden feeling of the lycan’s rough tongue on your core made you whimper from pleasure, his rough hands spreading your lips and further exposing you. You flushed deeply in embarrassment at the feeling of your juices leaking down the inside of your thighs, though Jeongguk eagerly lapped them up with no sounds of protest. 

With the pressure on your clit and the fullness of his fingers scissoring deep in your core you couldn’t help it, the budding tightness unravelling as you came onto his tongue. Your body shook lightly, trembling in his grip as you attempted to bite back your moans. 

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” Jeongguk confessed, his mouth glistening with the aftermath of your orgasm. He gave you a little bit to recover before you felt his tip pushing against your entrance, the sensitivity from your previous release making you whimper and recoil slightly. 

His body covered yours as he leaned over you, sandwiching you between the floor and him as he pushed slowly into you inch by inch. He felt so good inside you, hot and pulsing between your thighs with each forward stroke. 

“I’m going to breed you so good, baby,” Jeongguk moaned, linking his fingers with your own as he finally bottomed out in you. “Make you take this knot and put a litter of pups deep in that little womb of yours. Wouldn’t you like that?” 

You nodded, tears welling in your eyes as he pulled all the way out before slamming back in. It hurt, but the pain mingled with the pleasure deliciously--taking everything he was giving you with a stream of satisfied moans. The only thing that managed to distract you from the pleasant fullness of your core was the mention of the word ‘knot’. You didn’t understand what he meant by that, but you also didn’t attempt to evaluate his words as your body jerked forward at the next thrust. 

Your juices were leaking all over Jeongguk’s sweatshirt, staining the fabric and making you flush at the scene when you lowered your head to peer in between your legs. The sight of your lower stomach bulging with the lycan’s cock only made you more wet, your moans and whimpers echoing in the quickly darkening forest. 

Jeongguk took notice of your fascination, moving one of his hands from your hips to palm gently below your navel. It felt better than you thought it would, your knees trembling and threatening to give out from beneath you from the pleasure. He leaned back on his knees from his previous position over you, his other palm warm against your skin as he pushed between your shoulder blades. 

“Harder,” you cried, shutting your eyes at the feeling of another orgasm quickly building. Jeongguk complied, his fingers pushing hard against your clit and relishing in the feeling of your walls squeezing him tightly. 

He was a complete mess, almost as much as you were, your cum sticky on his thighs and sweat plastering his hair to his forehead. The thin strings of your juices connecting you two together made a gross wet noise each time he pulled out, the sounds it made as he pushed back in making him growl in enjoyment. 

Your orgasm hit you like a truck, your vision going black as you shut your eyes at the overwhelming feeling. The oversensitivity made you wince as Jeongguk kept fucking you, slightly pulling away from him before he roughly pulled you back. 

“Almost there, baby,” He whispered, kissing your neck reassuringly. He was almost there, he could feel his stomach tightening with his impending release. “Take it, Y/N. I know you can.” 

Nodding, you continued to moan at the slightly painful feeling. It felt good, so good, tears falling onto your flushed, sweaty cheeks as your body jerked forward with each rub against your walls. 

Something felt wrong, the pressure between your legs was growing and getting tighter with each thrust Jeongguk made inside of you. Paired with the oversensitivity from your two previous orgasms, it hurt to feel stretched out so much. 

“G-guk wait,” you whimpered, clenching your fists around the fabric beneath you as you shut your eyes shut at the pain. “Hurts-” 

“It’s okay, It’s okay,” Jeongguk shushed, brushing your sweaty hair back from your face as he pushed you further to the ground. “You can take my knot, right baby?”

You sighed at the mention of his knot, wondering if this is what he meant by it-- the growing and painful pressure stretching your core to it’s max with no signs of stopping. You trusted Jeongguk, though, and knew he wouldn’t do anything deliberate to hurt you. “I can, yea. I can.” 

The feeling of his cum emptying inside you made you moan, warm against your walls and temporarily distracting you from the pain of his inflating knot. With one last hard thrust you two were locked together, Jeongguk moaning loudly from behind you as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. The scraping of his elongated teeth against your skin made you shiver as he continued to release inside you. 

He slowly rolled the two of you onto your sides once he was finished, gripping the inside of your thigh and holding it up slightly to prevent the two of you from experiencing any unnecessary pain. Looking down at your battered and abused core, you saw Jeongguk’s excess cum leaking from the sides of his knot; wet and sticky on the sides of your thighs. The visual made you flush deeply. 

You were beyond tired, slumping tiredly against the boy as you felt his warm tongue licking your skin. The feeling made you chuckle. “What are you doing?” 

“Grooming you,” Jeongguk mumbled nonchalantly, continuing without hesitation. He swept over your abundance of bite marks and hickeys with the wet muscle, pausing to leave little kisses on each one of them. His palm was heavy as he cupped your stomach protectively. 

“Can I bite you?” 

“Can you what?”

You looked over your shoulder at the boy, taking in his fucked out expression and incredibly flushed cheeks as he stared at you with his intimidating red eyes. He didn’t seem affected by your surprise. 

“Bite you, mark you as mine.” His voice suddenly got quiet, lowering to look at the juncture of your neck and shoulder as he stroked the skin there softly. “Make you my mate.” 

Thinking back to Yoongi’s words, you knew the implications that came with what he said. You also knew that by agreeing to be Jeongguk’s mate, you would have little to no chance of going back to the life you once had. But everything Jeongguk gave you, everything he made you feel wasn’t something you wanted to give up. 

“Okay,” You whispered, closing your eyes before reopening them and giving the boy a small smile. The look on his face was indescribable, your heart beating just a little bit faster as you both looked at each other in happiness. “Okay.” 

His lips were on yours in a second, pushing hard against your own with a smile on his face. You kissed back with the same enthusiasm, his tongue licking the inside of your mouth quickly before he pulled back. 

“It’s going to hurt a bit,” Jeongguk murmured against your lips, gently pushing your face back against the fabric so he could reach your shoulder easily. He kissed the skin of your neck lightly, your pulse hot against his mouth as he gripped your hand, running his thumb along the raised scar there. “Don’t be scared.” 

You didn’t have much time to prepare before there was an immense pain spreading throughout your entire body, your screams of pain disturbing the quiet forest around you. It burned so much, the feeling indescribable as the feeling continued to spread throughout your entire body. His teeth weren’t in there for long, pulling back out after a couple of seconds as you felt blood drip down your back. 

“Hey,” Jeongguk whispered, cupping your cheek in his hand as he pulled your face up to his. You could see the blood staining his face and teeth, dripping down his neck and chin as he consoled you through the pain. “You’re okay, I promise.” 

Looking at him through the tears you smiled, kissing the worried look off his face as the burning pain finally started to diminish. The taste of iron was heavy on your tongue. 

----------

Both of you did, in fact, manage to find a way. 

About a week after you and Jeongguk’s endeavor in the woods, he had managed to convince you to move everything from your grandfather’s cabin into your room while you moved in with him in his. It took a lot of consideration, and negotiation from Jeongguk’s side, but you were happy. 

That being said, you still visited the cabin every now and then to make sure everything was okay. 

Walking back into the pack house afterwards was awkward, you couldn’t look anybody in the eye as you walked past them, attempting to hide all the marks on your neck with your shirt while Jeongguk grinned ear to ear like a damn fool. 

It wouldn’t have mattered anyways, the smell of blood and sex tainted the air as soon as you stepped foot in the house much to yours and Seokjins adamant dismay. He yelled at both of you after you showed up, going off on how you could have at least washed off in the lake to at least attempt to hide what you two were up to, and to Jeongguk for running away like a hormonal, upset teenager. 

You were told that once Jeongguk bit you, you didn’t have your own unique scent anymore. Instead, you were permanently masked by Jeongguk’s smell to remind everybody who you belonged to. The fact made you blush when he told you, the thought oddly comforting and making your belly tighten. 

As you were packing everything into boxes to transport them back to the pack house, you had given Namjoon the picture that used to be above your fireplace mantle, now knowing who the once mysterious wolves next to him were. He thanked you immensely. 

Overall, everybody was happy. You were happy. This was a new beginning in your life, and you wouldn’t change anything that happened for the world. 

[spxlledinks]

𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐘 𝐌𝐄 | a playlist feat. the unraveling of 𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐉𝐄 𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐊𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐍 

❛ ...honey, you are nothing to me, i don’t call people anything that’s thought to be so sweet... ❜

presumably dead arm x sidney gish

first love late spring x mitski

night shift x lucy dacus

cold love x rainbow kitten surprise

ya’aburnee x halsey

– – click here for full playlist

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐎𝐍: ya'aburnee - aka. flashes of the aftermath

𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍: catskill mountains, new york; march-july 2022

2 AM. A CRUMBLED BALL OF PAPER hits the back of the can. ❛ It is with deep sorrow and profound sadness that we announce.... ❜ She has the letter memorized, every word irreversibly seared into her brain. For the first few days, she recited it to herself — a mantra that sliced deeper with each repetition.

Penetrating injury to the abdomen. Line of duty death. Unmarked bullet. No other casualties.

She's proud of that, she would be proud of it; the bullet had not found purchase in its already-wounded target. Instead, it found the captain's mesenteric artery.

They got her address from the marriage license, her phone number from the emergency contact list. She hasn't answered any calls since that one. The blind panic that clung to her on the ride to the hospital still lingers, the helplessness as she wove through traffic. Not fast enough, never fast enough.

But she made it. She was there.

Hadn’t she wished for her death that night in the alley? Accused her of abandonment? Irony always did have a way of screwing her over.

❛ ...you got a 9 to 5, so i'll take the night shift. and i'll never see you again if i can help it...❜

The pungent aroma of disinfectant and a red-filled cap mark 10 AM.

❛ Let me know if you need a break. ❜

The tattoo parlor is small, as most things in the town are, and her machine almost sounds too loud. Too aggressive in a town that exists as a time capsule, the flickering lights of the fifties style diner across the street an indication of who lives here. Who belongs here.

She doesn't ask if it hurts. It's a stupid question to ask as someone repeatedly plunges needles into soft flesh; not hard enough to bleed, but enough to set ink permanently beneath the dermis.

Nikolai was there when she immortalized the captain into her skin, a night-blooming cereus. He had flown in for the funeral of a woman he’d hardly known simply because of the way his sister's voice cracked on the phone. Carrying her back into his condo afterward when her legs refused to work.

She swallows, barely noticing when she finishes the design.

❛ ...please hurry leave me, i can't breathe. please don't say you love me...❜

At 9 PM, she curses her for taking in mammoths for pets.

❛ You love them. ❜

She’s not hearing voices, she’s not. That would be weird, a definitive sign of the loss of one's sanity, and she's been clinging to that with every fiber of her being. No, she feels whispers of memories, sensations of a burgeoning life in a Brooklyn loft. A future.

Sága took to her new siblings immediately, and the trio's insistence on sleeping in the bed forced them to upgrade to a king-sized mattress. No need to worry about that now.

She does love the dogs, though. One too many nights waking to a paw draped over her abdomen or warm fur pressed to her back have endeared her to them. They are good for her, help her to feel less alone. A comforting reminder of what was stolen.

So, she shoves Hop’s gargantuan head aside and takes her place amongst the canines.

❛ ...not a word was said when the lights came on or a glance given pause at the cost of our desired wrongs...❜

She is unsurprised when the clock declares the time as 12:30 AM, eyes languidly rolling to return to their trained post on the ceiling. Its wooden beams cut across the expanse of white plaster to form a series of three triangles. The largest of the triangles is positioned at the foot of the bed, just low enough to toss a rope over and hang planters — morning glories, maybe.

The house itself is earthy, shrouded by a curtain of trees that make it easy to forget the mere ten minutes to reach the town center. Black paneling, glass, and ashen rocks make it undetectable from the road. She would love it, the blonde muses.

❛ ...your face was supposed to be hanging over me like a rosary. so morose for me; seeing ghosts of me writing oaths to me, is it so naive to wonder...❜

3 AM and the dogs need to be walked. Their protests as she clips on the leashes say otherwise, but she needs a distraction. An unseasonal cold front has stopped spring in its tracks. It's warm at Nikolai's, familiar, and she's grateful to him for not changing the locks. She has successfully put off staying in her own apartment during these 'business’ trips into the city, only daring to dart in to collect the odd knife and her mail.

Only the bills, never the cards.

Chirp stops to sniff at a novelty shop. Tourist-trap shirts fill the windows, many with some variation of I Love NYC emblazoned across the front. A thousand dates to a thousand places with stupid t-shirts from each spot. Isn't that what she promised? The night is a haze at best, a black spot at worst. And yet...

❛ ... cause a part of me needs a part of you, and not just any boy is gonna do. so I’m hoping you feel the same way too, not just any girl is gonna do...❜

The birds start outside the kitchen window at 5 AM, finding her already sipping from the first of many cups of coffee that she will have today. It is flavorless, the general store's instant mix not quite the barista caliber to which she was once accustomed. Soon.

Her focus is across the room, gaze locked with the cat. Cujo sits on the mantle, perched above an overturned picture frame. The last thing to pack before they leave the cabin for good has become his latest triumph. ❛ You’re a real asshole, you know that? ❜ Originally meant to go with Parrish alongside the four other dogs that once made up her pack, the feline refuses to leave. Though her arms show the results of many fruitless attempts at forcing him, she has to admit that she has come to admire his obduracy.

So, she assumes the role of resigned caretaker, crossing the room to pick up the fallen photograph. She already knows what she will find when she rights the frame, and still, her breath catches.

The first photo they took together, found tucked away in her camera roll following the night they drunkenly said I do. She insisted on having it encased in a durable frame — ❛ permanence. ❜

The roar of an engine drowns out the birdsong as she coaxes the bike into third gear, dousing her feelings in the only way she's ever known.

❛ ...darling, you will bury me before I bury you...❜

1. presumably dead arm x sidney gish

❛ honey, you are nothing to me, alcohol and dopamine… but like an old man, say i reckon, i love you for a millisecond… i wanna know your passwords without changing them in preferences, and all the childhood streets and deceased pets that they’re referencing… honey, you are nothing to me, i don’t call people anything that’s thought to be so sweet. ❜

2. first love late spring x mitski 3. night shift x lucy dacus 4. his hands x blegh

❛ you should go to something better. i’ll give you to someone better. i have friends that’ll be on earth for longer. i have friends that won’t feel like monsters. ❜

5. cold love x rainbow kitten surprise 6. dreams tonight x alvvays 7. montero airlines x montero 8. ya’aburnee x halsey

❛ i never got to tell you how I loved the way my eyes make yours look green too. i think we could live forever in each other’s faces 'cause i always see my youth in you. and if we don’t live forever, maybe one day we’ll trade places.❜

[poguesrforlife]

Polar Bear Wrestling | JJ Maybank

Hey, what’s up..it’s been a while! Second JJ fic I wrote even though I have an exam tomorrow but yolo am I right? Something like that (exactly that) happened to me last weekend with my friends and I just had to imagine what JJ would’ve done in this scenario. Enjoy! xx

Trigger warning: swearing, blood, angsty (kinda), fluff, and little bit smutty because I can’t help myself

Word count: ~ 2,220 words

You and JJ are just having fun in secret and everything seems smooth sailing until you get hurt at a party and JJ turns into protective™ mode!

You did not know who’s idea it was to throw a kegger in the middle of the week but at this point you were too drunk to care and quite happy about it. 

The chateau’s garden was crowded with people, mostly poques from your school, but also a few kooks and occasional tourons. Some song from the Cure was playing on the speakers and your gaze wandered over the string light adorned garden, drowning it in beautiful colours of the rainbow.

“C’mon Y/N we’re playing beer pong and I need you on my team!” Kie yelled from across the yard where they carried a table outside. 

You were quick to support your best friend, always down for a good drinking game. 

“Who are we playing against?” You scanned the garden looking out for a particular blond surfer dude.

JJ owed you a rematch after the last party where he beat you together with John B. You couldn’t deny that you maybe also just wanted to make sure that he wasn’t flirting with some random girl again. Ever since the two of you started hooking up in secret you started to get more than a little bothered by all the attention he got from other girls. You told yourself that no feelings were involved but sometimes you weren’t so sure.

“Sarah and John B,” Kie waved the couple over to take the other side of the table where she had professionally filled up the cups.

“Rock, paper scissors…winner starts,” John B announced and promptly won the match.

Kie and you sunk one ball after the other into the cups, although most of them unfortunately only hit the rim. Sarah was surprisingly good at the game and you had to down more than you expected. That didn’t really help your already intoxicated state.

Good for you and Kie however, you were even better at beer pong when you were drunk. And at this point you were too drunk to care about anything except winning this match. 

When John B’s ball went way over the table you picked it up and hit your head lightly on the table’s corner. It hurt a bit but you weren’t too bothered by it. You had to win that game and there were only two cups left on the opposing team’s side. 

You concentrated on the furthest cup and with a flick of your wrist the ball cleanly fell into the cup.

“And that’s how you do it!” You screamed and turned to an excitedly jumping Kiara to give her a high five.

However fell the happy expression from her face rather quickly after looking at you and was replaced with wide eyes and an open hanging mouth.

“Fuck! Y/N, you’re bleeding!” Kie exclaimed, already storming towards you and looking out for someone to help.

Your hand went up towards your forehead, where the dull ache was centered, and came away red. Good thing you weren’t one to faint at the sight of blood. 

“Shit,” You swore under your breath and made your way towards the bathroom inside the chateau. 

Kiara was hot on your heals, fussing over you and grabbing Pope on the way inside.

“What did you do?” He asked and immediately went towards the cabinet with the first aid kit. You were glad that you could always trust him to be the rational one. Because Kiara was close to hyperventilating at this point. 

“Kie, it’s gonna be okay. It doesn’t even hurt that bad,” You tried to calm her down while you grabbed some towel and tried to stop the bleeding. 

“It doesn’t look okay!” She pointed out her hands flying towards the reddening towel in your hands. 

“Baby, can you get Y/N some ice?” Pope distracted her while he was preparing some disinfectant.

Kie nodded vigorously, glad to be of service and hurried towards the kitchen.

You let out a relieved sigh and looked towards Pope thankfully, “Thank you. I love her, but sometimes she can be a bit…”

“Overbearing?” He finished for you and gave you a knowing smile. You laughed in agreement and went back to focusing on your little wound. 

“This is going to burn,” Pope warned before pulling the towel away and starting to clean the cut above your eye with a disinfected cotton pad. You hissed at the burning contact and would’ve rather pulled away but you knew it had to be done.

“Doesn’t look like you need any stitches,” Pope analysed as he took a closer look at the cut. At this point you were really glad that Pope invested so much time in his medical future. 

“It doesn't even hurt, I’ll be fine,” You agreed and looked at the towel that was quite red but the wound finally had stopped bleeding.

“I couldn’t find any ice but this will do,” Kiara showed up with a frozen beer can in her hand that had a kitchen towel around it. 

“I’m not gonna walk around all night with a beer can pressed to my head,” You argued and made your way out of the bathroom. You were here to enjoy yourself and this little incident wasn’t going to stop you from doing so.

“If you don’t cool it, you’ll have a black eye tomorrow,” Pope warned but it was clear that you wouldn’t listen to him. He knew his friends pretty well and when it came to you and JJ every rational thought went out the window. The two of you were perfect for each other but also the most trouble anybody could cause. 

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” You scoffed and picked up one of JJ’s snapbacks that was lying around the kitchen. You loved wearing his hats to get a reaction out of him, mostly that reaction him being annoyed with you for stealing yet another cap.

“See, you don’t even see the bruise like that.” You showed off your new look but Kiara and Pope just rolled their eyes at your carelessness. You grabbed the beer out of Kiara’s hand and opened it instead of holding it against your head.

“Well if you’re not going to listen anyways we might as well win the game,” Kiara threw in and pulled you back outside with a slight smile. 

And you did win graciously as ever, as drunk as ever. 

You were about to get another cold beer inside the empty kitchen when you felt a pair of arms around your waist. 

“I’ve been looking for you all night.” A familiar voice whispered in your ear and you melted against his chest.

“Should’ve looked better,” You mumbled and turned around to be met with JJ’s sky-blue red-rimmed eyes from the weed and alcohol. 

He gave you a sloppy grin and his hands wandered over your backside pulling you closer to him. If it weren’t for all the people and your friends outside who could catch you, you would have fucked him right there and then.

“You look good with my hat,” He stated cheekily and leaned in to give you a peck on the lips, “but I’ll take that back now.”

“JJ, no-“ You tried to stop him, remembering the cut above your eye but it was too late, the hat was off. 

You knew how protective JJ was about his friends but after the two of you started sneaking around it was even more intense than before. You were quite scared about his reaction.

He looked shocked at the cut just below your eyebrow and the already forming bruise there. His jaw clenched when he took a step back from you.

“Who the fuck did this, Y/N?” He seethed and was already making his way towards the door to beat up whoever dared to touch you. You on the other hand hadn’t even thought about JJ assuming that someone hit you.

“What?” You were too confused to move at first but then your reflexes kicked in. “JJ wait!”

You grabbed for his arm but he yanked it away, one foot already out the door. He was furious and you’d never seen him like that before. You tried another time to stop him, yelling his name repeatedly and succeeded with a strong hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t you try and tell me to not get in trouble, Y/N! I don't give a fuck right now. When somebody hurts you, do you really expect me to just stand by and do nothing?” He yelled at you and you could see the desperation in his face as his shaking hands raked through his blonde hair.

“JJ, no one touched me,” You explained in a low voice to calm him down. Some people were staring in your direction. You grabbed his hands in yours, making soothing circles with your thumbs, and led him back inside. “It was an accident, J. I was just drunk and a bit clumsy.”

JJ looked at you with scrunched eyebrows, like he was not really believing you, but you felt his hands relax slowly in your grip.

“What?” He breathed out and let his eyes wander over your left eye repeatedly.

“I tried to pick up a ball while playing beer pong and hit my head,” You told him and sat down on the kitchen table, pulling JJ between your legs. 

“Oh.” JJ’s gaze dropped ashamed at your interlinked hands before he mumbled a “I’m sorry.”

You lifted his chin with one hand and giggled at his pouty expression. “It’s okay Jbae.”

“I don’t know I just assumed…” He stopped mid-sentence to take a deep breath and his hands caressed the wound above your eye carefully.

“You have to be more careful,” He lectured you and pecked the cut slightly.

Butterflies rose in the pit of your stomach at the touch of his lips on your skin. This side of JJ was so new to you. He had always been protective but he had never been this sweet and caring afterwards. You really enjoyed having him all to yourself in these moments.

“And you have to control your temper,” You reminded him and saw the guilty grin on his face immediately.

“Yeah… the combination of both of our flaws together will probably only cause trouble,” He laughed and placed his hands on either side of your body as he leaned in.

“You love my clumsiness,” You argued and locked your arms around his neck. This close you could smell his undeniable JJ scent: cigarettes, weed, the ocean and freshly cut grass. It was intoxicating.

“I do,” He agreed softly and placed a kiss on your jaw which made you gasp lightly. “But let’s just say that you wrestled with a…uhm…what are they called again? Snow-bear?”

You giggled as he struggled for the word while peppering your jaw and neck with kisses. You guessed the adrenaline rush had stopped and the both of you were back to being just a little bit too drunk. 

“A polar bear?” You guessed and looked at his crystal blue eyes for a second.

“Yes!” He exclaimed excitedly, like a little child. “You wrestled with a polar bear and he jabbed at your eye but the bear obviously looks much worse.”

“Obviously!” You nodded and smiled at him. “So…polar bears in Outer Banks?”

“Oh shut up!” He complained and before you could retort anything his lips crashed onto yours.

You pushed into him as your lips moved against his. The kiss was fiery and you gasped slightly as JJ bit your lower lip. You couldn’t contain the moan that escaped you when his tongue entered your mouth. Your hands grabbed strands of his blonde waves while his grabbed your hips and pulled you closer to the edge of the table. 

“Fuck Y/N!” He groaned as his groin met with the spot between your thighs and attached his mouth to your jaw once again. 

You threw your head back at the feeling and swore under your breath. But when you heard John B screaming from outside you were brought back to reality.

“Fuck JJ,” You pushed him away slightly and he whimpered at the loss of contact. “Not here, not now Jbae,” You reminded him, your hands framing his disappointed face. 

“I hate that fucking rule,” JJ mumbled but brought some distance between you anyways. 

You hated the rule as well, but you knew it was made for a reason. No pogue-on-pogue-macking or you would risk the entire friend group. Even though everybody seemed to have broken it anyways.

“C’mon, let’s get back to the party,” You smiled at him and slipped your hand into his.

“Fine, but I’m not leaving your clumsy side.” He placed his hat back on your head with a smirk and pushed it down a little bit so the bruise wouldn’t be obvious to everybody. 

“Fine by me,” You grinned and gave him a peck on the cheek. “And maybe later we can continue where we left off..”

At the sound of this JJ’s smirk turned into a thousand watt smile as he followed you outside, grabbing your hand a bit tighter. You couldn’t help the warmth that spread through your whole body as you looked at his gorgeous face and thought about his sweet protective side and what might happen later this evening. This boy would be the death of you.

[vintage-marina]

A woman out of time chapter 5

TW: talking about death of a loved one

wordcount: 2628 words

You left his cabin and stood outside on the deck of the Dauntless, the Navy men who took you to the Commodore were ahead of you and showed you your bedroom for the following weeks or maybe even months. They didn't look really excited for you, maybe it was misogyny, maybe they still thought you were a pirate, maybe they thought that a woman on a ship would bring misfortune or maybe a mix of all three.

Hopefully they didn't saw your red eyes that would signal that you were on the verge to cry but even if they noticed it they didn't said anything. You were lead to below deck and to a small room.  Thankfully it had a door with a lock and the three Navy men went away after they gave you a foul look, you ignored it and stepped inside. The room was little and smelled a lot better then the cell you were in, it had a small bed and a desk in it. You stepped further into the room and you saw that on your bed laid two bundles of clothing, one for sleeping and one for during the day. The sleeping wear was a simple cotton shift that went to your knees and the other bundle was an old looking outfit from the Navy, possibly from a retired Navy man. You folded the clothes and walked to the desk, it didn't had any engravings like the Commodore had but it was bare and reminded you of home. Home, you really wanted to go home again, to see your friends but most of all you wanted to see your parents and your sibling again, not that they were alive. You shooked your head and focused on your surroundings again, on the desk laid a bowl with water and a cotton cloth. You walked towards your door and locked it.

You took of your combat shoes, you stripped from your green leather suit that had safety straps and pieces of vibranium on it and took of your gloves with your ring on it. The suit you layed on the chair by your desk, the heavy shoes with a steel nose shoved you under the desk and the gloves with your ring you layed on the desk itself. You unclasped your sport bra and slid on the shift, it was comfortable. Until now you realised how sore your muscles were and you stretched yourself and gave a spin to your vibranium arm. It gave a loud mechanical sound and you widened your eyes in surprise, maybe that wasn't the best idea. You hoped that nobody heard that strange sound and you walked fast towards your new bed, you laid your new clothes on your suit and stepped inside your bed. If somebody did hear that you could always say: ''huh I didn't hear any sounds, maybe you were imagining that. I was asleep.''

You tossed a few times around and your eyelids grew heavy, nobody stormed inside of your room and it was safe to say that nobody heard you. The ship rocked gently on the waters and with that you felt asleep.

A few hours later

You woke up somewhat refreshed and cleaned your face with the cloth and the water that was given to you. You tried to pull back your hair but without a mirror you couldn't see anything so you could only guess that it looked okay-ish. The Caribbean weather was really hot and although you couldn't leave your beloved suit, you had to. You were sweathing in that thing and you possibly would die of a heathstroke. You slipped of the shift and you put on your sport bra. With the same cloth you washed your body and you took the Navy outfit from the chair, you changed into the white pants, buttoned up a white blouse with white cuffs and above that you wore a white waistcoat. You took the red coat off the chair and swung it on your shoulders. The uniform didn't fit properly, the pants were to long, it was a little bit tight by your hips and the blouse was to oversized. What really comfortable was but it did look a bit weird with your waistcoat above it, but luckily the coat was fine. Your shouders and arms weren't to big for them and it sat really nice on your shoulders. You snatched your gloves off the desk and put it on, your ring went into your pocket and you stepped outside your room.

Outside of your room you could hear the coughing, the mumbeling and groaning of some of the men. Probably in a room where nobody could see them, but before you went to them you needed to retrieve your medpack. On the way you were still asking yourself why Jack Sparrow so familiar was, but you couldnt put your finger on it. You walked on the chairs but with each step you were hoping that your pants didn't rip. Outside on the deck, you felt your face tinteling Your face from the sun and you sniffed the salty sea air in your lungs. Men were working on the deck  but you didn't see James, maybe in his cabin then. Your boots were loud on the wooden deck and you maked your way to his cabin. You knocked a few times on his door to alert him and you stepped inside. It looked like he was about to leave, his posture straight. But when he eyed you his posture went even more stiff. His face fell, like he didn't want you to be here and he didn't meet your Y/E/C eyes, instead he looked at the door that was behind you. You really did hurt him huh? You shuffeled uncomfortable with your feet and clasped your hands behind your back.

''I uh.. I'm here to retrieve my medpack Commodore.'' He gave a tight lipped smile but didn't say anything instead he only gave you your medpack. You gave a soft thank you and you made your way out.

Infirmary

There were circa 10 men in the makeshift hospital and a men fussing about them. The boat was rocking on the waters and some of them were emptying their stomachs in a wooden bucket because of it. You could see the sweat on their foreheads and the yellow puss on their bandages, the smell was disturbing and it made you almost gag. Sympathy washed over you, they were in pain and the medicine from the 18th century didn't help them either. The medic stood over a sickly looking man, dabbing a cotton cloth on the man his stomach.

''Here, let me do it,'' you walked towards the two men and you took the cloth out of his hand. ''How peculiar,'' mumbeled he under his breath, but he didn't protest like you expected. You opened your medpack and picked a bottle of desinfectant handgel. The man who was laying on his bed was eyeing you curiosley but didn't had the energy to ask, the other men were or sleeping or zoning into nothing.

''Before you are going to treat the patient it is necessary to wash your hands with soap or disinfect them, otherwise bacteria can spread to the patient and any further damage must be avoided-'' he nodded but he said: ''what do you mean with that?''

You poured a bit of gel on your hands and on the surgeon, but he looked weirdly at the substance on his hands ''sorry I thought you knew of Leeuwenhoek's his discovery-'' ''ofcourse I heard about his theory, it is absurd!'' ''It's not! Just rub that gel in your hands alright?''

In your medpack were laying handgloves, you picked two and tossed them towards the man. ''Here wear this, clean hand gloves can help against cross contamination. With cross contamination you can spread bacteria from products on other products. ''

You looked up from your medpack towards the surgeon, ''I'm surprised that you don't even argue with me, why?'' He looked surprised at your comment, ''To be honest, I do not really know why. You are talking about things that I never heard off and it makes me wonder if I really have knowledge in what I do. But I still think that bacteria thing is absurd!'' You laughed a bit at his ridiculousness.

''I do think you have knowlegde in your profession, doctor-'' ''Thomas Smith.'' ''Doctor Smith, but I also think that you can learn so much more, so let me show it to you.''

During the rest of your day you showed him how to clean infected wounds, the weather was cooler and you could see the relieve on the men of the faces. You told him tips and tricks how to treat infected wounds, like with sterile honey and how you should wash your hands and your equipment. He got your name and it was pleasant to work with him, he didn't make stupid comments like some of the pigs on this ship and he asked questions when he didn't get something.

''Preferably we like to disinfect our equipment with special substances, but I see that you do not have that and I can't get it for you, so listen very carefully. You can disinfect your equipment with gin or wodka. The alcohol in those two drinks will break down the bacteria, you got me?'' He nodded, ''but you need it to rest it for a whole day. Other ways are to boil your equipment in boiling hot water, bake your equipment or heat up your equipment under a flame. Further everything should be clean your hands, your clothing, the room itself, just everything. And you need to wash your hands regularly and pick new handgloves, dont touch your head or anything with your freshly washed hands otherwise you need to clean it again.''

The two of you were treating the wounded and you couldn't help but to notice how sick some of them were looking, they probably were going to die with the lack of medication that you had. But you did everything that you could do.

It was dinner time and you made sure that Thomas was cleaning his hands afterwards you did too. He looked at you nervous, like he was afraid to say something.

''Y/N-'' ''yes?'' ''Do you think they will make it?'' You looked towards the ground, your eyes not meeting with his. You noticed that some of them were looking bad, like they were on their death trial. ''Some of them, but I'm also afraid that some of them will not make it, 'm sorry. I don't have much medicine left,'' he nodded, his mood getting more depressing. ''All we can do is treating their wounds and making sure that they eat well and let them live their remaining days in peace.''

The two of you were making your way through the mess hall and into the kitchen.  There were already men eating their food in peace, you saw that they stuck by their rank. The Navy men were still giving you dirty looks but you also could see a glimpse of desire in some of them. Disgusted by their behaviour you maked sure that at all times you were alert. Coming into the kitchen you fetched the food that the cook had made for them, it was vegetable soup with pieces of chicken in it.

Thomas and you both had two bowls in your hands and were walking towards the infarmary, in the mess hall you couldn't spot James so you thought he was in his cabin. The men were chattering and there was a gleeful aura. But that couldn't say the same about you or Thomas, oh how they don't know. It wasn't like you were sad or anything but you felt helpless, they really could have lived if only they had the right medication. In Thomas his eyes tears were forming and you could see his lip tremble. Arriving in the makeshift infirmary you set down the bowls of soup by each nightstand and repeated your action untill everyone had gotten their food.

An old man was sitting up in his bed, he picked up his food from his nightstand and tried to eat it. He picked up the spoon with shaking hands and you saw that he spilled some on his shirt.

''Sir, let me help you,'' you walked towards the man and sat on the empty spot of his mattress.

''You know, when I got my shaking my wife helped me. But after her death,'' tears were falling on his cheeks. ''After her death, I was on my own and it has gotten worse. I really miss her.'' choked he out. ''I understand, it has gotten lonely isn't it?'' You took the bowl from the man and feeded him, ''yes it really is.''

''The loneliness is not so bad when I'm around these boys, you know? You get distracted easily, you chatter or you you're doing your job. But when you and your thoughts are alone, you're going to think and think. And then you're thinking about your loved one, how you miss them or what their voice was like and then you are suddenly aware that they are really dead and not just upstairs or something, you know? You get reminded of your loneliness and you get reminded that you can never speak to them ever.''

''I completely understand what you're saying sir.''

he didn't say anything for a couple of minutes, after he finished his soup you gave a light squeeze in his hand.

''You lost a loved one too?''

''Yes sir, multiple.''

''I'm sorry for your loss'' he said to you and he gave a light squeeze into your vibranium hand, just like what you did to him earlier. He didn't noticed that he gripped metal or if he did he didn't said anything about it.

''Thank you sir. You too.''

''You can call me Gary,'' he gave you a reassuring smile.

''Okay Gary, you can call me Y/N.'' and you smiled back.

You stood up from his bed and you walked over to Thomas, he was feeding another patient of yours.  he was sitting on a bed and you kneeled beside him and whispered: ''Thomas I'm gonna find the Commodore and I'm gonna inform him about the statics.''

''Alright,'' you heard him softly whisper to you. You took the stairs and walked towards the deck of the Dauntless, on the furthest point of the ship you could spot two people discussing things with each other. The more you closed the distance the more you noticed the figure of the Commodore.

''Commodore?''

The two turned around and James noticed the raggy old Navy suit that you had on.

''Yes?''

''We need to talk it's about your men.''

''I will let you two alone then,'' said Groves to the both of you and maked sure to leave.

''Y/N, what is wrong with my men?''

You were mulling about how you should say it, but it was for the best that you said it straight forward.

''Some of them are not gonna make it, they are gonna die in a few days and sadly there's nothing to prevent this.''

His face fell and you could see the cracks of emotion through his awkwardly stiff posture.

''There's nothing? Have you looked into our medicine shelve?''

''Yes I have, but most of them are highly addictive and don't kill what needs to be killed.''

He deeply sighed and runned a hand over his face.

''Have you told them?''

''No I did not, I'm planning to.''

He excused himself out of the conversation and walked downstairs having a last conversation with some of his crew.