#he had good intentions but got lost in the papacy's fuckery

[borgialucrezia]

dysfunctional families, generational traumas and a self-loathing father who sees himself in his son and cannot forgive him for it. this show really went off with all the top-tier themes lol truly unmatched.

that being said, what cesare doesn't realize is that despite his father 'favoring' juan, it's cesare whom his father truly trusts. sadly, it took cesare killing juan for rodrigo to set him free from being a cleric. if he only knew that his father plainly relies on him and has plans something ultimately much greater, cesare wouldn't have envied and hated his younger brother, and things wouldn't have led to juan's death.

rodrigo made cesare believe that he wasn't truly loved by him when in reality, he does love cesare immensely and admires him for his drive and ambition. however, rodrigo chose to be self-deluded and ashamed of admitting it. he appointed juan a task that cesare has always wanted, despite knowing well that cesare is infinitely better suited for it. this resulted in cesare developing a strong hatred and envy toward juan.

as for juan's case, he never asked for the position he was given, but he tried his best to fulfill his responsibilities. (like when he showed bravery by willingly risking his life against the french, even after his troops were torn apart, but only surrendered because the prospect of him dying would upset lucrezia) despite his father's love, juan felt deeply isolated because he never had a peer. he was good natured and had a deep love for his family, and all he wanted was to be included in their world. however, he struggled immensely in expressing his feelings, which led to him being shunned and his death going unmourned. it is tragic because ultimately he longed to feel like a 'true' borgia and have a close relationship with his family, especially with cesare. but the lack of moral guidance and the weight of expectations pushed him to behave inappropriately, resulting in everyone pushing him away.

in conclusion, rodrigo was too blinded by his own ambitions and dismissed his children's concerns it's why i can't bring myself to blame neither of them, they were all trapped by their father's ambitions and favoritism, he was the one who unintentionally pit them against each other by making both of his sons feel inadequate in the positions he bestowed upon them.