#he got the munchies once and tried a dog treat

[thesaintraphael]

I know deep in my heart Kakashi was perpetually high when he was training team seven. Wake and bake, get to training an hour late, then run them through a modified ANBU training or half remembered exercises that Minato put together because that's all he knew at that point. No one ever taught him how to properly deal with genin, and he's a genius, so trying to figure out how three average shinobi are supposed to be taught was probably a nightmare for him considering he was a full fledged jonin at their age. Stare at his dead sensei’s son while trying not to cry, watch a mini version of himself duke it out with his emotions and lose, just like he did before all of his team was picked off one by one, ect. And Sakura, who is his daughter (spiritually), despite how nauseating her crush on Sasuke is, quickly blowing past the other two to secure her spot as his favorite. Fuck with them for a few hours, go home, take a massive rip from his bong, and spend the next few hours asking god what he did to deserve this life. Maybe take his ninken for a walk or pester on-duty jonin and ANBU. Rinse and repeat every single day.

[aforrestofstuff]

Been a hot minute since I did one of these. A good friend of mine gave me a suggestion on my discord:

So yeah this required a lot of research because I only eat like 3 things lol. Obligatory crack warning.

Tornado of Terror: Ice cream because A: it’s good practice for her esper powers to control a semi-liquidous substance and B: her constant rage has actually raised her default body temperature an additional ten degrees, so eating ice cream is a good way to cool off. 

Silverfang: Oatmeal raisin cookies because he’s an old fuck. He likes chewy things because his teeth are held together by sheer force of will but also indulges in that extra crunch of the oatmeal to remind everyone in the old folk’s home just who the fuck they’re messing with. 

Atomic Samurai: Any dessert-flavored cocktail that is made up of around 90% alcohol and 5% violence. 

Child Emperor: Kid eats sweets for breakfast lunch and dinner, dessert to him would probably be a head of broccoli drizzled with a light yet flavorful dressing. Either that or milkshakes, because I get the feeling he doesn’t get to enjoy them too often... and of course they remind him of the good times with Zombieman. 

Metal Knight: Only eats pre-packaged nutrient bricks and has not tasted anything sweet nor enjoyed a food morsel in at least 17 years. 

King: I headcanon King as a huge momma’s boy who doesn’t get to eat a lot of homemade food because he fucking sucks at cooking and makes enough money to eat out all the time anyway, so his favorite dessert would probably be every and any home-cooked treat his mom makes for him. 

Zombieman: I’ll be honest, I thought this dude hated sweet things but after reading that manga extra of him drinking sugar with a side of coffee, my opinion has switched. His favorite dessert would probably be something extremely decadent and sweet, like one of those 1000-calorie Dairy Queen sundae-shakes jam packed with chocolate and cookie crumbs. Or an entire fucking lava cake because this dude’s metabolism is faster than the speed of light and he’d probably stomach something like that just to see if he can, since apparently he’s all about breaking his own limiters. A friend of mine once ate three-dozen pot brownies in one sitting while speedrunning Mario 64 and I think Zombieman would be able to do that without the aid of the munchies. I know Zman internally insulted Pig God one time for well, eating like a pig but give the dude some alone time and an all you can eat buffet of sweets and he’d find himself in the same situation. 

Drive Knight: Does not have a favorite food in general due to this motherfucker not installing tastebuds on account of them not being necessary to commit all degrees of murder. 

Pig God: Oh my god. More like what isn’t this dude’s favorite dessert? Pig God has lost the ability to dislike anything he puts in his mouth because eating has pretty much become his main source of income, so it’s safe to say that if he can swallow it, it’s his favorite food. That includes desserts, but I’d be lying if I said he wasn’t partial to pudding. Just pudding. Bread pudding, chocolate pudding, strawberry pudding. Pudding. 

Superalloy Darkshine: I’ve said this before but my boy Darkshine only eats the most obnoxiously healthy foods out there, sometimes over health-ifying those foods himself in his kitchen/protein meth lab. His favorite dessert would probably be one of those ancient bread seed logs and only because he’s allowed to put .2 ounces of stevia in it.  Either that or literally just any fruit ever.

Watchdog Man: Those pumpkin-flavored dog treats because my man gets paid 2 cents an hour at the Hero Association and the poor mf in charge of payroll has forgotten he exists so he’s grown accustomed to eating only the dog-related foods people leave to him as offerings on his weird pedestal thing in City Q. 

Flashy Flash: Doesn’t really have an affinity for sweet things on account of how fucking awful life in the Ninja Village was. He never got the opportunity to develop a sweet tooth because of all the basic ass food he’d be eating. Almost all desserts listed here would give him a heart attack, like making a Victorian era child drink McDonald’s sprite. It will not sit right with his spirit. His favorite dessert would he any vaguely sweet fruit with wine, or a coffee that is 90% creamer.

Genos: Something in my spirit is telling me he’d enjoy anything strawberry-related, although Saitama doesn’t like them. This leads to them falling out while a shortcake bakes in the background. Im kidding, obviously. But seeing as how ONE has a very “go stupid aaaaaaaa” attitude towards writing, it would be a very tame end to their relationship (assuming there’s gonna be an end) compared to all the other shitdick stuff happening in this series. Zombieman’s ass has been out for like 8 chapters, you can’t tell me shit.

Metal Bat: Kiddo snorts protein powder for breakfast, probably. He’s ripped as hell and his diet reflects that sorta, with a hint of seventeen year-old craziness thrown in there. Bitch eats like a violent stoner sometimes because he knows his metabolism can handle it and he won’t die from food poisoning nor food coma. However, his favorite dessert would be creme brûlée because it’s the only food you’re required to beat the shit out of before eating, and we all know he loves bonking stuff.

Tanktop Master: Over health-ifys shit like Darkshine, just to a lesser degree. However I also HC him as a huge momma’s boy, and if said mother is supportive in his endeavors to become the world’s swolest man, she’d definitely make him something both sweet and healthy. However, I’d doubt he care about slipping up on his diet every once and a while. He’d probably enjoy a soft serve here and there.

Puri-Puri Prisoner: his palate is very limited on account of being in literal prison. However, he doesn’t really hate it there for some reason, and I’ve even stated in a previous hc that he sometimes gets specialized meals in the cafeteria due to his status as a hero. His favorite dessert would probably be whatever chocolate-flavored sweet brick they can shit out. Like, motherfuckers get really creative with their ingredients while locked up and there’s a bomb ass recipe for chocolate cake floating around that I’ve tried and can confirm it’s 10/10 not bad. I’m getting off-topic. His favorite dessert is whatever asshole he’ll be eating out of that night.

Saitama: Even though he’s poorer than.... fuck, I don’t know. He’s broke but he still indulges in the prestige shit here and there. He’s got a massive sweet tooth even though he’s ripped as hell, hence why he eats so much fruit because it’s the only sweet thing he can afford to ingest without losing his gains. His favorite dessert would be anything banana-related, but nothing as decadent as say, dark chocolate. Probably banana foster waffles. I don’t know why that popped into my head, I just know Saitama would like them.

Garou: motherfucker could shit on a rock with sprinkles on it and call it dessert. His favorite, though? Sweet, sweet victory. And candy bars.

[hybridfanfiction]

Owner Training - 7

*Just a quick fluffy filler chapter. I needed some Yoongles fluff in my life. I hope everyone is staying safe!* 

***

“What is this?”

Your brother Jimin and his hybrid Taehyung are visiting, aka they invited themselves over, and were carrying a potted plant and a giant bag full of...

“Jimin, is that weed?” 

“No!” he looks down at his giant plastic bag filled with stuff that looks suspiciously like it IS weed. “Why? Do you want some? Because I know this guy that...”

“Jimin!” 

“Right. No, this isn’t weed. For humans, at least,” he grins deviously and you narrow your eyes at him. He’s up to something. 

“Then what is it?” 

Keys jangle in the lock and you turn to the door, wishing you’d thought to send a warning text. 

“Hey, babe. They didn’t have the chips you like, so I just got another carton of ice cream. If you’re nice to me I’ll let you have some,” Yoongi says absentmindedly as he kicks off his shoes and closes the door. 

Jimin quirks an eyebrow at you, mouthing “Babe?” You pretend to ignore him. 

Suddenly, Yoongi freezes, his little sniff barely perceptible if you weren’t staring right at him and waiting to see if he was going to blow up. 

“Hi, Yoongi!” 

Taehyung bellows a happy greeting as he rushes towards the cat hybrid. He ignores the flicking tail and narrowed eyes, instead wrapping himself excitedly around Yoongi and giving him a hug. 

“Hello, dog.” 

Well, you supposed that was better than scratching his face. 

“Hey, Yoongi. Tae Tae and I brought you a housewarming slash apparently dating my sister present.” 

Jimin’s tone was innocent and sweet, but a lifetime of living with the secret Slytherin gave you access to all of his tells. Jimin was on the offensive and prepared to make Yoongi suffer. In a loving way, of course. 

“That’s uhh...nice of you?” 

Yoongi shot Jimin a confused look as he tried to peel Taehyung off of him, probably wondering what you’d told him. 

“Here’s a houseplant for you. His name is Esteban. Don’t let it die or I’ll be really hurt,” Jimin stated, smirking as he set the little green plant on the coffee table. 

It just looked like a weed to you - green, no sign of blooms or anything interesting. The pot was cute though. It looked like Taehyung had made it himself since it was hand-painted with little cats in a style vaguely resembling Van Gough. 

Yoongi glanced at it, his eyes narrowing a bit before blowing wide after a sniff or two. What could be so surprising about that little thing? 

“Andddd...a big freezer bag full of the dried stuff. All for you, Kitten,” Taehyung giggled, waving the bag that you’d been inspecting earlier in the hybrid’s face. 

“Don’t fucking call me kitten,” Yoongi murmured, but he accepted the bag anyway with a nervous look at you. 

“Well, we’ll just wanted to give you a little something to welcome you to the family. One of these days we’ll have a big party with the whole crew, kay? See you guys!” Jimin pulls Taehyung along with him as he heads towards the door, pausing only when he passes by you to whisper in your ear. 

“You and I need to catch up, it seems.” 

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll call you later. Out.” 

Jimin giggles and waves one last time, winking at Yoongi before he slams the door. 

You sigh and fall into the couch, shaking your head. 

“I love my brother, but he gives me a headache.” 

“Same,” Yoongi grumbles and drops into the spot next to you, throwing the bag onto the table before he leans over and starts scenting your neck. 

You giggle and try to push him off, but he nips your shoulder in protest. 

“Seriously,” you laugh, “What is that crap they gave you?” 

He hums, pulling back and laying an arm across the back of the couch. 

“Catnip.” 

“Seriously?”

He nods, quirking an amused eyebrow. 

“Does it make you high or something?” 

“Kinda.” 

You peek at him in suspicion. “Kinda?” 

“It’s kinda like weed, but doesn’t last very long.” 

“So my brother just welcomed you to the family with drugs.” 

He snorts and kicks his feet up. “Basically.” 

You groan and rub your forehead as Yoongi laughs lightly, reaching over to casually clutch your thigh as he gets comfortable. 

“Can you put my ice cream in the fridge?” 

You snort, completely unsurprised. Yoongi was one of the hardest working people you’ve ever met - outside of the house. Once he was in that door, however, all bets were off. 

“So are you going to use some?” you ask as you make the trek to the kitchen. You throw the ice cream (pure vanilla, of course. Nevermind that you liked cookie dough) into the freezer and peek inside the bag to see what else he got. 

“Maybe. Maybe not. Don’t know yet. Get your cute butt in here so we can watch the show already.” 

“Fine, fine,” you blush and grab the treats he’d bought, rushing back to curl against him. 

He hums and kisses the side of your face, eyes glued to his show. 

***

It had been three days since Jimin’s crazy delivery and it still sat on the coffee table half-covered with magazines and random trash. You had been overtaken by curiosity and went to the internet for answers the other day and fell absolutely in love with how cute cats were on catnip. 

You still weren’t very clear on how it affected hybrids, but if it was anything like the videos you saw, Yoongi would be adorable. You figured half of his resistance to using it had been worry over your reaction, so you decided to take the initiative. 

Once Yoongi was out busking ( because he still refused to just stay home and hadn’t found anything else yet that hired hybrids), you took the chance to open the bag of catnip. You took a quick sniff and shrugged your shoulders, only really smelling a hint of mint to it. 

You take a handful of the dried plant and sprinkle it all over the couch. It’s going to be a bitch to clean later, but the couch is Yoongi’s go-to spot when he gets home. If you’re going to get a chance to make this work it needs to be done immediately. 

Then it’s just a matter of waiting. You prepare dinner, do laundry, make him a little treat in case you need to apologize and wait for the sun to fall. 

Soon enough, the familiar key jangle at the front door alerts you to his arrival. You’re so nervous you’re shaking, but you stand your ground and wait in your normal spot on the couch. You glance over as soon as the door is open wide, smiling happily in greeting. 

“Hey, sweetheart. How was your day?” 

“Not bad,” he answered with a sigh, rolling his shoulders and kicking his shoes so they went flying. 

“Wasn’t too busy in the park today so I was worried I wouldn’t get anything, but this old foreign lady and her yappy Yorkies came through. One of them lunged at me and starting barking like crazy, running around me in circles. It didn’t seem mad so much as excited, to be honest. But she apologized by throwing what she had in her wallet at me. $200.” 

“Congrats.” 

He drops onto the couch with a groan as you tense in anticipation. 

It starts slowly - a narrowed gaze being pinned on you, those eyes widening in surprise as he realizes what you’ve done. The nose wriggle that made you want to die from the cuteness as he groans and faceplants onto the couch cushions.

You giggle when you realize he’s rubbing his face onto the cushion, pausing every few seconds to take another sniff. He sneezes and looks up at you in surprised wonder, like that noise had come from you. His eyes are blown wide and he has little green specks on his cheek from the catnip. 

“How you feeling?” You asked, reaching down to run your fingers through his hair. 

His purrs grow louder and he rubs his face into your arm. 

“Fuzzy.” 

You laugh and watch in amusement as he rolls over and rubs his entire body against the couch. To be honest, you hadn’t been sure it would work like this. You’d thought that maybe he had to light it up and smoke it because of his human side, but this was so. much. better. 

Suddenly, he sits up and stares at the hallway, licking his lips like they were chapped. Then he jumps off the couch and runs away. You can hear the moment he hits your mattress and...is he jumping on the bed? 

“Yoongi?” 

You stand up and go to the bedroom, peeking inside. He’s having the time of his life, jumping up and down with a smile. You cover your grin with your hand. 

“Yoongi?” 

His head turns sharply when he hears you, staring at you without really seeing you. He backflips off the mattress and runs back into the living room, vaulting over the couch. You had no idea Yoongi could even move like that! 

His purrs become loud again and you rush over to see him rubbing his face into the cushions again, only this time he was practically laying on the floor, only leaning his head up to get another fix. 

You lean your hand down to see if he wanted help up, but when he grabs the offered hand he pulls you down to him instead. He rolls you under him and tucks his head into your neck, licking your throat as his purrs rumble against your chest. 

“Wow, this stuff really takes you out of it, huh?” 

“Hungry.” 

“Yeah? You got the munchies, baby?” 

He nips on your ear in retaliation, but you just laugh. 

“Alright. I got you.” 

You push the incredibly high hybrid off of you and walk towards the kitchen, peeking behind to watch him jump up and run back and forth between the couch and the hallway. You shake your head and grin to yourself, pulling a box of his cereal down from the fridge. 

The sound of the food hitting the bowl was enough to bring the hybrid running towards the kitchen, where he latched himself to your back. 

“Lots.” 

“Okay, sweetheart. I’ll give you lots.” 

True to your word, you fill the bowl with his cereal and milk until it’s practically overflowing. He finally settles down long enough for you to bring him his food, his eyes zeroed in on it like prey. 

He digs in silently, only a slight purr of happiness coming through as he shovels the cereal without a thought into his mouth. 

Or so you’d believed. 

When he was finally done slurping all the milk down he pushed the bowl towards you with a sigh. 

You can feel that the bowl isn’t completely empty when you grab it, which seemed impossible due to how eagerly he’d been eating. A quick peek inside shows that he’s eaten everything except the triangle-shaped cereal pieces. 

“Yoongi, what’s that?” 

“Don’t like triangles.” 

You stare at the hybrid incredulously. “Really? Baby, they taste exactly the same. It’s all made with the same stuff, just shaped differently.” 

He shakes his head, “Nope. Triangles are gross.” 

You throw the bowl into the seat and shake your head. 

“If you say so.” 

It’s only been a few minutes, but you notice that his eyes are clearing up a little bit. 

“How are you doing?” 

“Good. Wanna cuddle.” 

You could totally do that. You grab his hand and lead him to the bedroom, letting him wrap himself around you when you lay down. He laces his tail around your waist and holds you close. 

“Smell good.” 

“Thanks, sweetheart. Are you mad?” 

“Nope. Had fun. Maybe not again for a while though. Old knees.” 

You giggle and he squeezes you fondly. 

“Love you.” 

Your heart stutters and butterflies go wild in your tummy, a phenomenon that happens every single time Yoongi says something like this to you. 

You kiss the top of his head and remind yourself to send Jimin a thank you text. 

[g0ldengubler]

Chapter 10 ~ Strawberry Avalanche

A/N: AAAAAAA hey besties i'm baaaaaack! honestly, i lost all motivation for a couple of months, especially because wattpad is getting censored. i was scared that this story was going to be taken down, but now i've decided to keep going. Thankfully, this series is also on here so if nauseous is taken down on wattpad it will be here safe and sound. Also shortening chapters has been a nice thought. I'm sorry this one sucks i'm kinda rusty and this is more of a filler/catch up, but we're back at it again boizzz! Also, thank you so much for over 900 followers! Really really crazy but i'm so glad you guys are enjoying my fics. And I'm really glad everyone enjoyed lunchtime! I didn't think it would get that much love as I thought that kink wasn't something others would be into so I am planning on writing more one shots with other kinks I have. Things are just about to get good in nauseous...ok anyways i love uuuuuu <3

Category: Angst (??...yeah sure we'll go with that lol)

CW: Talks of cases; talks of murder

Summary: It's time to go back to work, and oh boy are they in for a "treat"

Word Count: 1817

masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every time your alarm rang, you quote Cinderella at it, groggily saying, "Oh, that clock. Old killjoy." You hate waking up early, as sleep was such a beautiful thing in your book. When you were asleep, you were at peace, as if everything that had happened that day whether good or bad just went away. You were free in your dreams, running around like a child in a field of lavender. You had that dream here and there before you met Spencer. When the feelings for him grew over the course of a week, you started getting that dream frequently instead of waking up thinking you didn't dream or remembering a weird one. He would show up as a shadowy figure on the other side of the field and you would run over to it until you woke up once the figure turned around.

After you two made it official, the blur of the figure disappeared and turned into him. You would run as if it was the speed of light towards him, and he would turn around in a lilac colored cardigan, barely hiding the huge grin on his face. Spencer would pick you up around your waist and lift you up as he spun you around. Right before you kissed, however, you woke up. You were into the meaning of dreams, so you thought that at the right time, the kiss would happen.

As you got ready for the day, you couldn't stop thinking about the past month. You remember meeting Spencer and how your heart skipped a beat when your eyes first met in the conference room. You remember getting drunk and high with the team and how your boss was pretty much the life of the party without really meaning to. You laughed to yourself as the thought of Spencer high on edibles at Rossi's came in. He ate a whole brownie before Garcia could give a warning and once it kicked in it was hard not to laugh at his goofiness as he would only talk about Star Trek the whole night. He could've had the whole pot of spaghetti his munchies were so bad.

Garcia crept into your brain again as you got in your car. That night, instead of Spencer coming in to clean you up, it was Garcia.

With a wet washcloth in hand, she stood by the door and saw you on her bed, the laughter and voices echoing down the hall and into the room. You tried to cover yourself but she waved her hand away.

"Sugar cakes, don't worry about it," she said, walking over and sitting in front of you on the side of the bed. In a comforting way, she put a hand on your leg, rubbing it gently, "I'd be mad if it was other people on my bed going at it like rabbits. But you two? I don't seem to feel any steam coming out of my ears."

"Are you sure?" You asked, embarrassed, "I'm so sorry, Garcia."

"I'm just thankful that boy genius got laid."

The two of you laughed as she handed you the cloth. You took it and began cleaning yourself up, trying to clean what fell out onto the bed. Once you were done, Garcia gave you some advil and some water as you gave her the cloth back.

"Are you feeling ok, hun?" She asked as you were sipping on your water.

"Yeah, just a bit sore but nothing I can't handle." You hand her the glass of water back and fixed your pillows so they'd help you sit up.

"Reid is a very kind and respectful guy, Y/N," she said as she softly rubbed your leg, "I've known him since Gideon brought him on the team, I know he wouldn't do anything to hurt you."

"I see that in him," you said, "When he's not ruining me he's a total sweetheart and always open to trying new things if he wants to. He's really special to me, Penelope. I've never met someone like him. He's probably the first guy to want me for everything else, like the sex is just a bonus. Men back home were never like that."

Garcia smiled as she got up, looking down at you before leaning down and kissing the top of your head. "I'm glad you're here, Y/N. You've been the last missing puzzle piece for our team since you first walked in the conference room." Then she left, probably to let you rest.

You were still for a few minutes before you decided to try and get up. Once you were able to stand, you walked slowly out of the bedroom and back to the living room, which felt like it took you years to get to. You saw Spencer sitting on the couch next to Morgan, taking a joint from his hands. You watch as he put it to his lips and inhaled, holding it in for a sec before exhaling a big cloud out. He coughed before taking it back to his lips and took a couple more, handing it over to Jj.

As you parked in the parking garage, you remembered the butterflies you felt when his eyes caught yours. Morgan had got up and helped you walk to the couch, where you lay down with your legs on Spencer's lap. That night was so magical, but now you're back to work, dreading the amount of files that would be piled on your desk.

When you got out of the elevator to the 6th floor, you walked in the bulpin thinking you'd see Spencer at his desk, but your smile faded when you didn't. You looked around the room until you turned all the way around to the conference room, seeing all your friends in the window. You quickly-but calmly-walked up the ramp and into the room with a smile on your face, yet it went away again once you felt the room, seeing all their stern or worried faces.

"Y/L/N," said Hotch, "please take a seat."

"Is everything alright?" You ask as you sit next to Spencer. He locks his arm around yours and takes your hand in his, kissing it, knowing it was a way of his to comfort you.

Hotch was silent for a moment before he spoke. "While we were on our vacation, new cases have come to us. These cases were ones we had already solved, however."

No one spoke as he explained the two copycat cases. One was based from The Fox, a case they solved years ago, but it wasn't exact. The fox was more known for killing big families but this copycat killed small families, ones with only children. The other was one you knew all too well. A few years ago, couples were left in trunks of cars, all cut up and stabbed. You studied this case when it happened, and wrote an outstanding paper on it for class.

"We now have a copycat on our hands. This investigation will be going along while we also work on other cases. If needed, protection will be put for our loved ones. That is all. So far there hasn't been one to go to, but myself and Jj will let you know if one comes in."

With that, we all slowly walked back to your desks. Thankfully, yours was right in front of Spencer's. A part of you felt safe no matter what scenery you were in. But you still felt worried. With not being on the team for much time, you were scared for your friends. Stuff like this was part of the job, but that didn't mean you couldn't be human.

One thing was lingering in your mind the whole day...Was there a deeper connection between the two copycat cases?

~~~

Later that night, you finished your work for the day and headed home. Both you and Spencer felt too tired to do something, so you both went your separate ways. When you got home, you threw your bag and keys to a chair and fell on your couch as your dogs attacked you with love and kisses. Taking your boots off, you took your phone out and looked through your delivery apps to see if anything sounded good, but you didn't feel that hungry as you saw all the delicious options.

Remembering you had some wine on the counter, you got up and poured yourself a glass. You got changed into crewneck sweater and sweatpants that had U of M written all over it. Putting your hair up in a high ponytail, you made your way back to the couch and went through your phone, catching up on text messages from your dad, looking through memes and videos.

After a bit of time has passed, you were on your third glass and were feeling very tipsy. You turned on your speaker and went through your the music on shuffle before stumbling upon a song from high school, Strawberry Avalanche by Owl City. You hadn't listen to it or his music in years, so you decided to keep it on for old times sake. As the song got to the chorus, you felt your tipsy brain taking over, getting up from the couch and dancing along. Your furry friends-as Garcia would say-joined you as you picked up Draco's paws and gently brought him up on his back legs, while Benedict barked and went around in little circles, his eyes never leaving you.

You went to sleep after your dance party, wanting the comfort of your own bed rather than the less comfortable couch. As your children climbed on and settled down, you tried to drift off right away, wanting to go back to your dream, but you couldn't stop thinking about the deeper connection between the two cases. That feeling was bothering you beyond belief, as if it was on the tip of your tongue or right under your nose. 'They're not just copycats,' you thought, 'so then what's the other connection, if there is one?'

You sat up, letting your pillows support your back. You grabbed your notebook from the side table and pen and started writing down what you remembered from what Hotch said. They are copycats from two they have already solved. One in Detroit, the other in their own backyard. It couldn't of been anniversaries because they didn't happen on their exact days, but it could be revenge on the team.

You went deeper into the cases to feel an epiphany run through your whole body. The Fox copy killed smaller families, but the wife was left last. And in the Detroit copy, it was only straight couples and the women were stabbed the most.

This unsub was going after girlfriends and wives.

[popatochisssp]

Do any of the skells smoke weed? And how would they react if they had a friend or SO that did?

None of ‘em smoke weed! That’s a human thing, they don’t like trying any human stuff willy-nilly and are surprisingly cautious about it, in case something might react funny to monster physiology.

Dog-treats, on the other hand, which have a similar effect when smoked…

Never touches the stuff: Sky (Underswap Sans), Pyre (Underfell Papyrus), Mal (Swapfell Sans), Slate (Horrortale Sans)

Tried it once or twice, wasn’t into it: Papyrus (Undertale), Jasper (Underfell Sans), Papy (Horrortale Papyrus)

Will partake on occasion: Sans (Undertale), Paps (Underswap Papyrus), Rus (Swapfell Papyrus)

The biggest smoker on the list is definitely Paps, who’s found that it helps his social anxiety on really bad days. He’s got a dog-treat hook-up and smokes pretty regularly, but for him it’s just a mild high and he’s never had any big Stoner Moments.

Sans has had Stoner Moments. Lots of cases of the munchies that…don’t really affect his eating habits but also putting stuff back in the wrong places, trying to answer the remote instead of his phone, etc. He actually doesn’t smoke all that much, though, and won’t go out of his way for it. He might indulge more if it were more convenient but apparently just bumming ‘em off Doggo is ‘stealing’ and ‘taking advantage of Doggo’s vision condition,’ so whatever.

Rus rarely ever touched a dog-treat until hitting the surface, impairment of any kind was pretty dangerous Underground, and partaking in that kinda stuff is risky. When he did get around to trying it, he definitely enjoys it, feels like it levels him out a little…but he still also kinda feels like he’s breaking a rule, even though he’s a grown-ass skeleton who could probably get a prescription for it if he wanted. He doesn’t smoke that often.

Sky is neutral about it–for other people, it’s a huge no for himself because he’s a very busy adult with lots of things to do and he can’t afford to be high on the couch eating popato chisps all day long and no, you may not ask how he knows that’s what happens to him when he’s high!

Pyre and Mal are staunchly against it, but that’s mostly for safety reasons. Like I said, their Undergrounds were very dangerous places to not have a sober skull in– if their friend or s/o absolutely must partake, they’re going to have to do it indoors, at home where they’ll be safe, and neither Pyre nor Mal will want to be around when they do.

Slate experimented with dog-treats both before and after his head-wound. Before? A great way to chill out and relax for a couple hours. After? Bad trip, it doesn’t hit him right anymore and even if it did, isn’t he already sleepy and kinda hungry enough? Nah, he doesn’t need it, pass.

Jasper also tried it–once, and he didn’t really like the feeling of being high, it made him feel like he was gonna get ambushed any second and he wouldn’t be able to dodge in time, or something. He’s not about to let himself get dusted over something that dumb that he doesn’t even like, screw that. You do you, though, friend or s/o, he ain’t gonna judge.

And then there’s Papyrus and Papy who are about the same in that they tried it but found it…didn’t have much of an effect on them? Maybe something to do with how their magic processes it, but why bother with it if it’s not going to do anything? Be wary of hanging out with either of these guys while high: friend, foe, or s/o, they will subtly mess with you because they think your reactions are funny and/or cute.

Not to turn this into a psa or anything, but if you’re underage or it’s illegal where you live, don’t do drugs or alcohol! Be safe out there! :3

[justothev8man]

I was reading something about if you're having trouble sleeping tips to help fall asleep and one of the tips was about using a happy memory from your childhood which made me realise I do not have even one happy memory from when I was a kid. At best I have couple of very short fleeting images of working on motorbike with my father in this tiny little shed he had in the backyard.

Nothing that even comes close to something I could turn into a happy memory though, the first happy memory I can conjure is not until my early 20's but we will get to that shortly.

Do any of you guys have happy memories from your childhood? I highly doubt I am alone in this?

I'm really apprehensive about writing this in here but one of the tips is to write shit down so here goes, I can always delete it straight away.

I'm prob not going to go back and proof read this so the grammar and spelling is just gong to be as it comes out of my head and gets typed. I often spell incorrectly and have poor grammar on my first edit of things.

I grew up in a very low socio economic area and in a very low income house hold.

my mother was this really overweight, lazy, abusive, manipulate women that use to sit on the couch watching tv and smoking Winfield red cigarette while barking orders at us kids and yelling at us at the top of her lungs. I loved my mother deeply up until my early teens when I started to understand her abuse and oppression for what it was.

She was the type of women that would point out the fault in others or put others down to make herself feel better.

She was nothing but a pathetic little women that pushed everybody in her life and her children and husbands life away and out of our lives so she would never have to admit her own faults and failings.

The old man had two jobs and worked seven days a week. I don't remember him working seven days when we were very young only later on.

When BHP shutdown it hurt the whole of NSW really hard and I think the old man lost his job … I think that would of been the late 80's maybe.

I can remember they had to hide the car and we had to be quiet and pretend we were not home if someone came to the door because they were trying to take the house off us ( bank foreclosure).

So the old man ended up working at some marine company I think, working on the boats and got a weekend job working at a service station.

I remember one time he put his work shirt on (I cant remember the name of the company but it had his work company name, logo etc on it) and he took us kids down to the docks and told the guys on the tug boats who he was and where he worked and they let him bring us all on board while they did a run out to sea with a fucking massive tanker.

I remember him taking us down into the engine room and showing us around and then took us up to the kitchen and the crew gave us food.

I remember being blown away by this fucking huge ship that these tiny little boats towed out to sea and scared shitless when the tug boat went over on this crazy pitch at one stage.

Anyway I don't know why but he ended up leaving or loosing that job and went off to work somewhere else and in my early teens he cut his fingers off at work doing some fucking thing or another.

I have like these almost good memories of riding motorbikes while camping in the bush but we were never allowed to go anywhere on them. My mother would only let us ride them around camp or just up the road a little way and back, she never like us getting far enough away that she would lose control of us.

very very very controlling women, the biggest and most prominent trait I remember of her is her controlling us, she always had to be in control. I HATED her for that as I got older.

I have this memory of a little honda motorbike dad bought us that didn't go and he had it for years until we were big enough to ride it and then I remember working on it with him and his mate in the shed and fixing it up and getting it running.

I have this memory of working on another motorbike engine too that he did a full teardown and rebuild on. His motorbike that he use to ride to and from work.

I remember the first time I saw the pistons inside a v8 with the heads off, blew me away picturing all those violently flying up and down inside the engine. I think it was a Chrysler engine.

I can confidently say that beyond 12 years old I absolutely unequivocally hated even single day of my childhood without question. I DID NOT have one pleasant day beyond 12 years of age.

I was not allowed to go anywhere with my fiends or do anything at all on my own. I had to be home doing the washing and hanging it on the clothes line, doing the dishes, cleaning out the laundry of the dirty litter etc from the cats and dogs.

I have memory after memory after memory of all my friends being off doing this and doing that and myself not being allowed to go. I suffered massive socially at school because of it and never ever had a friend or mate until my mid 20's but I think I also never really made any connections with my friends at school and truly became mate because I was to busy secretly hating everyone and my life and I knew that if I did become mates with them the next time they asked me to come to a party at night or something I would not be allowed because of my mother and I would yet again look antisocial and like a weirdo.

I didn't start to develop a personality until around 17 because I wasn't allowed to be who I wanted to be or have my own opinion in my mothers house. chatting back after being spoken to was absolutely not tolerated and having your own opinion was completely out of the question. To this day I cringe every time one of my nieces tries to back chat or explain her point of view to my brother and he shuts her up and won't listen. it is really really bad to not listen to what your children are trying to tell you and get across their thought or what they are feeling to you. it makes them have to bottle it all up inside. You must listen to your children when to are trying to speak to you and / or tell you what they are feeling!!!!!

this made my teenage years the most stressful and oppressed years of my life to date.

Mother would sit on the couch and if we didn't have any chores to do or disturbed her in any way or prevented her from being the fat lazy cunt she was sitting on the couch she would scream at us to get out of the room or make up some indiscretion for an excuse to send us to our room.

My parents never once spent one on one time with us or sat down and quietly played games or did activities with us or entertained us and bonded with us

my earliest childhood memory is my mother jamming a cake of soap down my throat because I swore or said something wrong. I clearly remember the feeling of feeling like I needed to try and swallow this block of soap.

I think I was maybe 7 or 8 at the time.

I have really vivid memories of several occasions where my mother grabbed my brother and I by the hair and smashed our heads together for doing I don't know what wrong.

Is it the violence or the pain that makes these memories clearer than the others? does anyone know?

Maybe a question for a psychiatrist.

I have this really clear image of my father standing over me while I was lying on my back upon my bed with my knees up to my chest and my arms at either side of my head while he was standing over me beating the fuck out of me until I had an asthma attack from the crying and screaming and couldn't breath.

I remember how much more it stung when he missed our ass with the strap and got my back instead.

I have the most vivid memories of lying in bed listening to my older brother running around the lounge room screaming while dad chased him around beating the shit out of him with his strap and fist and the even more vivid memory of my mother screaming " hit him neal, hit him neal"

As I write this and bring back these memories i'm wondering if I should be crying. I am not. Is that bad?

As I got a little older the beatings became less in their severity and frequency because my asthma attacks started to get worse when he beat me and so he couldn't

I wonder if my asthma became phsyco-symptomatic because I knew he would stop hitting me when my asthma come on.

I don't suffer from it now.

My older brother called the Department of social service after one of my father's beatings when he had a black eye and was covered in bruises. I remember he had to stay home from school because of the black eye and all the bruises and he told me as I left for school that today while everyone was out and he was home alone DOCS where coming to see him.

They came back later in the week and took him away.

I think he was put into foster care initially and then eventually he was placed with my grandparents.

My mother cut off the whole family and I never saw my grandparents again. They died a few years ago with me never getting to see them.

I always hated that I couldn't go to the Christmas parties.

Mum could never admit what she had done was wrong in any way shape or form, everybody else was at fault.

Even my brother was at fault. My mothers poor parenting skills and the reason my brother acted out was all my brothers fault.

I had two brothers but neither of them were intelligent enough to see past what my mother was.

I was the smart kid of the three boys and I only really started to open my eyes to what was going on when I went to high school.

I went to a catholic high school and it was there I saw real parents that supported their kids and treated them with more intelligence and more equally.

I think the only time I had fun was when I skipped school for the day and went and smoked mull under the bridge with the pot heads from school. there is a kind of happy memory I think.

This one time we were under cherries bridge smoking cones and bubba ( guy named Rodney but everyone called him bubba cause that's what his mother called him due to the fact he was the baby of the family) got the munchies real bad and decided to eat one of the poisonous berries that grew under the bridge there.

Fatty (guy named Garth but he was a big boy and even called himself fatty) yelled at him " bubba what did you eat that for they're poisonous man " and bubba turned to me and said " justo am I gunna die now man?" made me piss myself laughing stoned as I was.

There we go I think I found a happy memory!!!!

No bubbas were harmed in the making of this story.

When I was 20 I fell fucking madly in love with this red haired / strawberry blond bitch named Michelle.

I stayed with her and her parents in their family home for a while and it was then that I saw a real family at work and it truly showed me the disfunction of my own.

They were not perfect but they were this supportive family that was not unnecessarily strict and spoke to each other with civility and respect in measured tones.

A grumpy but respectful father and a holy supportive mother.

Tho I had very little in common with either of her parents I entirely respected them and still do to this day 20 years and another life later. I haven't seen or heard from them in many years but I bet they are still the same people I remember them to be.

My early 20's were my happiest years to date. I had a real friend or two for the first time in my life, people I could call mates and I could go out and enjoy myself with them and have a personality and a life. I was in love and in lust. I was happy.

I think I made it through the 80's being to young to know if I was happy or not. I think I spent the 90's entirely in dread, all I remember is stress and hatred.

Actually I think stress and especially hatred sums my 90's experience up perfectly.

The early new millennium I learned what happiness could look like.

Who else remembers their childhood as a stressful unhappy time? we all have a difficult childhood don't we? especially our teenage years? or am I unique.

Writing this reminds me that even now I need to try and strive to find happiness and fun in life and try to produce the same for my immediate family.

Grab your kids and go make some happy memories with them. Do something THEY will wholely enjoy and remember as a fun day in their childhood.