#he gives me a stupid amount of feelings everytime there's pretty art of him and well

[superat626]

For him - I might be ok being a slurpee snack.

[jaedreaminn]

At War or In Love?

Word Count: 2.5k

Pairings: Haechan x Reader.

Theme: fluff, crack, hurt, comfort, angst, enemies to lovers, collegeau.

Characters: Donghyuck, Jeno, Mark, Taeyong, Ten, Renjun, Jaemin, Jisung «mentioned» Chenle.

Words Count: 2.5k

~~~

Donghyuck knew he was a cheerful boy. His cheerfulness was given to him by his mother who he lived with for the first five years of his life. He couldn't remember her face but he did remember her smile and bubbly attitude and it stuck with him even after he was seperated from her to live with the Lee's. To live with his father.

He's always been social and good with people so he couldn't understand why Mrs.Lee hated him so much. Nor could he understand why his brothers who he was so excited to meet never spoke to him, so he had simply assumed that talking inside the Lee house was forbidden. He barely remembers his early childhood, just glimpses of memories passed through his head. Memories like Mrs.Lee's glares and awful words, memories of yelling and crying but he wasn't sure where the crying was coming from, memories of being stuck with an awful Maths teacher who really didn't like him.

But those were just distant memories because the memories that stuck with him were sitting at the dinner table and eating with his brother's, his elder brothers taking care of him and pampering him, Marks red face when he would annoy the boy who no matter how mad he was would never push Donghyuck away.

He remembers growing up protected by Taeyong, Ten, Mark and Jeno from his awful step mother. She was the only person Donghyuck ever despised, he remembers how she was drunk and angry one day and she grabbed him by his arm and yelled at him, told him he wasn't supposed to exist, wasn't supposed to be loved. But she was also told him something that broke his eight year old self, she told him his birth mother had died.

He remembers crying into Tens arms bitterly and all of his brothers joining him, huddling together on Tens small bed to console him. That night when he had fallen asleep in his brothers arms he dreamt of his mother, his mother who smiled at him and told him he was loved and that he was ment to love and to always be happy and cheerful. And so he believed her.

He lived his life quite happily, shielded from his parents by his brothers, which he would grow up to appreciate.

He was cheerful and friendly and loving and got along with everyone. So he couldn't for the life of him understand why you made his blood boil so much.

"Y/n you're messing it up!" He yelled, frustrated but you only ignored him poking you tongue out from the side of your mouth as you concentrated on lining the border of your assignment with decorative tape.

"Do you think we're still in kindergarten?" He mocked you and without wavering your attention from the task at hand you spoke, "If we were in kindergarten I would be at peace and you wouldn't be here." And that angered him even more.

"Why did you follow me to uni" he grumbled under his breath sitting down next to you.

"Please you followed me here" you scoffed, handing over the assignment to him.

"Why did you even waste time decorating the first page of the script. It doesn't make sense and doesn't even add to our marks"

"One. It makes our script original-" "but isn't the story in it origna-" "TWO. It looks cute" you said with a grin plastered on your face and he looked at you and wondered how anyone could be so irritability adorable.

"Well if you're only going to stare at me weirdly I'm leaving" and you were gone before he even got a chance to say anything. Haechan sighed, looking at the cutely decorated cover page to the script the two of you worked on together. You really were stupid.

Before he knew it he found himself at lunch seated in between Mark and Renjun.

"Ugh I swear if this one doesn't turn our right I'm quitting" Renjun grumbled to no one in particular as he continued to work on his art assignment. Haechan sighed feeding the busy boy a sandwich and Mark rolled his eyes.

"What are you losers upto" Jeno asked, approaching the table with Jisung trailing behind him.

"I'm still in shock you're studying music and dance" Mark said taking a bite of his food.

"He says that everytime" Jisung rolled his eyes as he sat down.

"At the pace at which Jeno was going at I'm pretty sure Mark expected him to get into crime" A voice spoke and all the boys looked up to be greeted by a smiling Jaemin.

"Aren't you supposed to be on my side?" Jeno asked Jaemin with a pout and the other just laughed handing him a bottle of water.

"Please I love Mark more" the grinning boy said and Jeno being his dramatic self visibly deflated.

"Calm down there casanova Marks already got someone" Renjun said, eyes still on his painting.

"Where's Chenle?" Haechan then asked. "He's still stuck in the practice room, said his partner is being annoying" Jisung answered after he realised no one else was going to.

"Pft I know a thing or to about annoying partners" Haechan scoffed and everyone at the table sighed.

"Here we go again" Jisung said rolling his eyes and digging into his food.

"Again?"

"Oh please Haechan this happens everytime it's either y/n this or y/n that. You're obsessed" Renjun said banging his paint brush onto the table.

"What! That's not true" Haechan started to get defensive.

"Please the amount of tension between the two of you is crazy! Like just date already" Jeno laughed and now Donghyuck was very embarrassed.

"You're single ass should date first you've still not dated anyone after-" Donghyuck stopped himself immediately realising the words coming out of his mouth.

"That's my fault isn't it" Mark frowned.

"No!" Jeno said and then glared in Donghyucks direction, "No. I gave you my blessings it's okay I had to get over our relationship and I'm so happy for the two of you right now" Jeno said quickly and Mark frowned.

"But what if you had a chance.."

"Mark Lee you foolish fool if Jeno said he had no problem and literally encouraged you to date his ex then don't question it. Plus he's giving his all to music right now" Jaemin said patting Marks back.

"Hate to say this but Jaemins right, like Jeno could have easily killed you in his sleep of he had a prblem with you, we live in the same house remember?" Haechan added grinning and everyone faceplamed.

"Anyway moving on I've got a buisness class right now I'm going to run" Jaemin said getting up and leaving and Renjun jumped up cheering.

"Geez I didn't know you hate Jaemin hyung" Jisung the ever sassy said and Renjun looked at him confused before realisation dawned on him "Ahhh no I'm done with my drawing and I need to run too" Renjun said eyes widening as he noticed the time, grabbing his stuff and running off. They watched with a laugh how Renjun who was usually calm and graceful tripped as he ran out.

"Wait when did Jisung even leave?" Mark asked pointing to the empty seat. "Ungreatful brat" was muttered by Jeno.

"Are you guys secretly hanging out with y/n and lermimg disappearing trick from them?" Haechan asked and Mark and Jeno just gave him a look. "what?"

"Y/n again? I'm telling you you're obsessed" Jeno chuckled and Haechan chocked on his spit as he quickly got up and hurried away from his brothers teasing.

He was on his way to his locker when he spotted you laughing rather fakely to something a very attractive boy was saying. You laugh was a pitch higher than normal and Haechan almost snorted loudly. Almost. And you were most definitely flirting with that guy.

He approached you with a smile from behind, tapping your back and watching with utmost pleasure when you frowned.

"Is that a new laugh y/n weren't you snorting like a pig just today morning" he asked with a cheeky grin and you frowned.

"Shut up and leave" you said throught gritted teeth trying your best to keep calm.

"Oh c'mon I was just kidding" Haechan smiled and was about to wrap his arms around your shoulder when the boy you were talking to stopped him. He glared at the hand stopping his.

"I don't know who you are but you're making y/n uncomfortable so you got to leave" the boy said pushing Haechans hand away and grabbing onto your hand and pulling you away from Haechan.

Haechan stood there shocked at the boys actions for a second before snapping and pulling you back with so much force you fell onto his chest.

He glared daggers at the boy, his eyes threatening him. "Y/n and I have known eachother all I lives and now we've got a project to work on so don't suddenly interfere in the life of someone you know nothing about." Haechan said coldly, venom hidden behind each word of his and he dragged you away.

He was fuming, not realising where he was going until he was at the garden with you.

"Can you believe the nerve of that guy?" He scoffed but you didn't say anything head hung low. He immediately took notice of that.

"Y/n what's wrong?" He asked worried and thats when you looked up at him, eyes tired. "This has to stop" you pleaded and he didn't understand what you were saying.

"You did this back in school too. You were awful to me and hated me but the moment I was with someone other than you you'd make a big deal out of it and end up fighting with that person" you said said, voice breaking and tears glistening your eyes. Haechan was about to defend himself when you spoke again. "I'm so tired of whatever crap you're pulling Haechan, you were always sending me mixed signals in school and I let you take me for a ride but not again. I liked you but hated you. You made me angry but so happy. You pushed me away only to pull me back and I'm sick of it" the tears now made their way down you face as you cried and Haechan stood there feeling so guilty for making you cry.

"Y/n I'm so sorry I didn't mean to.."

"Of course you didn't mean to" a dry laugh escaped your lips, "but tell me, did you ever like me? Was this just entertainment for you? For when you were bored?" You asked with spite.

And suddenly everytime someone hinted at his weird obsession with you came back to him, "Look I don't hate you... Atleast I think I don't. Not that much I-" You scoffed cutting him off.

"It's either you like me or you don't stop playing with my heart this isn't funny" you said rather calmly but the anger visible in your eyes.

"I don't know...I don't think so" he could hear your heart break and somehow he felt like maybe, he was wrong.

"Then leave please leave" you said agressively wiping away the fresh tears falling down your face. He tried to comfort you but you raised you hand stopping him.

He sighed in defeat and began to walk away, head hung low. He felt bad for making you cry and wanted to see you smile. Just then the thought of you crying in that pretty boys arms crossed his mind and he felt and awful feelin at the pit of his stomach. Jealousy. He was jealous, he wanted to make you happy and he wanted to hold you as you cried, he didn't want you to look at other people lovingly, and he hated the thought of you kissing someone else so he immediately turned to you and grabbing you by your shoulders.

"Look y/n I want to believe I hate you but at the same time I hate when it's not me that makes you happy because I love making you smile, I love making you laugh, I love annoying you." He said eyes serious as you blankly stared at him.

"All I know is whatever is going on in my head, you're at the center of it and you're the only one that can help me figure out what my fixation with you is."

"That's stupid." you mumbled, looking away from his intense gaze and he smiled.

"Nothing's stupid in love and war y/n and right now I don't know if I'm at war with you" he paused and you looked up at him and he smiled at you fondly, "or in love with you."

You looked at him awe struck and he couldn't help but chuckle at how cute you looked, with eyes still shining from all the tears and your face flushed.

"Will you help me figure which one it is?" He asked, his tone hopeful and you thought for a while and nodded as he grinned happily. And you smiled.

"This might just be my own downfall" you started with a frown and then a very small smile made its way to your face, "But atleast then I'll know more than I know now."

Bonus:

"This is stupid he's in love with you" Jeno said with a frown and Haechan pouted as he watched you laugh.

"Ah y/n run away while you can, our hyucks really stupid to even think he hates you" Mark added and if you weren't holding his hand right now Haechan would have punched his brother.

"Oh so this is the infamous y/n" Ten said walking into the room with a smirk on his face and Haechan silently cried inside.

"We really need to leave" he said but you were at your antics again and said "no we don't we have plenty of time don't we" he swears he hates you but at the same time it was impossible to hate you when you smiled at him like that.

"Ohhh is this y/n Donhyuck?" Came his eldest brothers voice and this time Haechan did cry.

"Oh c'mon don't pretend to cry you love me"Taeyong said patting his back and you chuckled.

"No I love Mark" Haechan said glaring at the eldest who only chuckled, "What's with everyone's fixation on Mark?" Jeno asked and Ten rolled his eyes "You just don't see how adorable our Markie is because your Taeyongs pet"

"Hyuck this is your fault the name stuck!" Mark growled and you stood there watching the brothers argue with eachother, amused at their antics.

"Ahh this is what you'll be getting into if you associate with this family" A voice said behind you and you turned around to meet the person who was your senior in high school and the one that stole Tens heart.

"Wouldn't I be lucky if that was the case?" You asked but another voice spoke "Try being stuck babysitting five grown men" you turned to see the person you recognised as Marks partner.

"I will hit you!" Haechan yelled charging at Mark who had run behind Ten who was yelling at Taeyong for help who who was being held down by a sulky Jeno.

You shared a look with the two people beside you as the three of you broke out in laughter.

~~~

Lee brother's- A mini series

Previous Part: Lee Ten

Next part: Series Finale

[mammons-tax-returns]

How would Lucifer, Mammon, Levi, Satan, Asmo, Barbatos, Solomon, and Diavolo react to a male MC who wears skirts (because *chants* men in skirts, it’s masculine af) on the daily? bonus if the MC wears black nail polish!

REACTING TO MC THAT WEARS SKIRTS

LOVE THIS PROMPT 🙏

During this I imagined 💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻TANGO DANCER SOLOMON and thats going into my art idea list

masterlist

✖️MALE MC✖️

Not unlike all the other boys, Lucifer is willing to risk it all as soon as he sees it.

His favorite cut of skirt is the classic a-line ones, both modest and not.

A CLOSE second goes to wrap skirts.

This is a SFW blog so I will not be going into any detail at this time ✨

Literally loses his breath everytime he sees MC, and it surprises him.

If MC isn’t already wearing the RAD skirt, he’s already offering to get him a set. Almost too eagerly?

When MC decides to not wear a skirt one day, he tries not to make it too obvious, but he’s simply curious as to why is all. Maybe a tad bit let down.

MC insisted one time that Lucifer painted his nails for him, and...

“Well, normally Asmo is the one doing that for all of us...”

“But Lucifer 🥺”

“Alright... Fine. But I’ll have to continue my paperwork in between each layer.

It’s just kinda cute to think that he would spend an incredibly unnecessary amount of time on each nail, trying to perfectly lay down the polish. Occasionally, his tongue will poke out because of his concentration.

There’s some slip ups here and there, but mentioning them will only get him flustered.

I don’t use this word lightlySIMP SIMP SIMP

He thinks he loves MC in every skirt imaginable just as equally as the last (which, he actually might) but deep down he can’t deny that a mini skirt just hits different.

The first time he saw MC wearing a mini skirt, mammon’s initial reaction was to cover him up before anyone could see him.

However, he failed to realize that he was actually the last of the brothers to see him, since he woke up late.

But that’s just what being the avatar of greed does to you. You just want to keep what’s yours, no matter what.

But considering his jacket isn’t as big as Lucifer’s or Solomon’s, he ended up just holding it up against MC’s lower half and stood in front of him.

It took the coaxing of MC and the snark comments of his siblings to make Mammon finally allow MC to walk around freely.

Looking back on it, Mammon most certainly understands why even Asmo had called him clingy.

But even now, he can’t help but hold MC a little bit closer in public when so many demons are staring at him! It just feels wrong to allow them to do that.

Cut him some slack, he thinks MC looks amazing, and he trusts him, but they’re literally in hell surrounded by demons. He just wants to keep his boy safe <33

Levi doesn’t even realize what MC’s wearing at first.

In fact, he doesn’t realize even after their first FEW encounters.

He only notices because while Mammon was ranting to him and Satan about money, he brings up MC and his “stupid and cute but also dumb skirts”

Levi is baffled that he’s the only one that hasn’t noticed it. So, the next time he walks by MC’s room, he contemplates stopping by to talk. Right... Socialize. That.

While Levi is stuck in his thoughts, MC opens the door, presumably ready to go out to a party with Mammon and Asmo.

*fish man short circuits*

MC looks...! S-so cute....!

- thinks the third born otaku.

Because I’m big on fashion, I can kind of picture an exact skirt I feel would apply to him. Let your mind run free but I imagine a semi-sheer maxi skirt with water-like embellishments uwu

But don’t get me wrong, Levi literally loves seeing MC in skirts so anything will get him like 😳 yall know how he is

Actually starts to get more interested in feminine fashion because of MC. And one day, he purchases a long black skirt from Akuzon.

He saw a popular cosplayer wearing one, and so he makes that his excuse.

No one even realizes the change except for Asmo, who gushes over the new look, even if it barely changed. MC also notices, but only compliments him/brings it up when they’re alone so Levi doesn’t overheat.

I was this close to typing “Satan is a man of beauty and FASHION” can you believe that

OKAY ENOUGH SATAN SLANDER

Satan... He can recognize when someone else looks ridiculous.

But he knows for a FACT. That MC very likely pulls off a skirt better than anyone he’s seen before.

Call him biased, but he sincerely loves it on MC specifically.

He likes the puffier skirts because they’re ADORBS, but for a more casual look, there’s this one asymmetrical skirt in particular that makes MC look so handsome to him.

He has no idea why men don’t wear skirts more often! Surely MC isn’t the only one that can do it!

Oh. Right. Gender norms 😪🤚🏼

Satan feels his anger crawl up his skin when he watches MC get ridiculed. And just for something he simply enjoys wearing! The nerve of demons.

He advances to “de-escalate” the situation in the most “avatar of wrath” way possible, but when he sees MC’s slumped shoulders walking away from him, he feels more inclined to follow and comfort him.

Satan gives an icy glare to the irrelevant demons, taking note of their faces, and goes after MC.

He doesn’t immediately bring up the situation, instead opting to go out on a spontaneous date to a nice café or a shopping district. Anything to distract from the situation subtly.

If his plan works out, splendid. Anything to make light of situation without even addressing it for even a day is good.

If the shopping and food doesn’t quite bring MC’s smile to his eyes, Satan will just have to be forward with his feelings for once.

“MC. I’m not entirely sure how I can get it through to you, but you shouldn’t be worrying about what some moronic, low-level demons think of you or your clothes. Much less what they say. Just be you, and make them suffer ten times worse.”

MC relishes in his words, even if the last bit sounded more like a threat than anything.

The last thing Satan would ever do is let MC even hesitate wearing an outfit that he would have had no trouble throwing on any other day because of someone else.

Asmo screams (in a happy way)

“No, Mammon! You’re wrong. MC is NOT my personal dress-up doll! He’s my model.”

Trying to break the stigma around Asmo’s “shallow” personality, let’s get the obvious things out of the way.

He and MC shop together pretty much every other day. It’s almost concerning. And nail appointments are, of course, regular.

NOW THAT THAT’S OVER,

Yes yes, Asmo loves the skirts and wonderfully glossy black nails, but there’s still such a massive divide between him and MC. Not physically, or even relationship-wise.

He’s never met someone like MC, who is so fashion-heavy and just the right amount of self-centered.

He thinks its the fact that they’re a human and demon. But he’s seen firsthand that the line between what makes a demon so different from a human is very thin. Solomon is an example of that.

But he realizes it’s just MC. He’s simply dressing for himself and himself only.

Asmo loves himself, there’s no doubt. And it’s nice to go out and dress fancy for others. He couldn’t dream of another lifestyle.

But he has to admit that what MC is doing is working for him. He comes off as a charming sort of man when he ignores the negative comments made about his clothes.

He knows that people in both Devildom and the human realm are a little sensitive when it comes to men in skirts. And the fact that MC continues to wear them is beautiful in and of itself.

This got kind of deep out of nowhere and i apologize but Asmo deserves to be seen for more than he’s constantly portrayed as 😞

Diavolo isn’t really thrown off that much by it at first, but as time passes, he starts to understand the appeal of skirt-wearing MC.

PENCIL SKIRT LOVER 🚨🔊PENCIL SKIRT LOVER🚨🚨🚨🔊🔊🔔🗯

Barbatos has to remind him that it’s rude to stare, but he finds it almost entertaining how whipped they BOTH are for MC.

Like Asmo, he actually loves bringing him out to shop!

The only difference between the two experiences is that Diavolo has no fucking idea what he’s doing when he picks out clothes for him.

Which leads to some pretty funny/terrible clothing combinations.

No, Diavolo, MC will not be wearing a flannel top with a camouflage hi-low skirt. Put those plaid socks away.

He’s confused and even a little sad when MC continues to turn down his ideas, but he figures that he should turn this into a learning opportunity.

So he lets MC grab whatever he wants, and patiently waits for him to finish up in the fitting rooms.

The store clerk is shitting her pants at the sight of the literal future ruler of Devildom hyping MC up with the energy of a puppy retriever.

Barbatos does an amazing job pretending like this doesn’t affect him.

He’s a classy man, he just internally loses it when he sees MC in any fancy skirt, really. From silky gold ruffles to a victorian-esc vibe, he’s obsessed.

So when Diavolo makes arrangements for an event/ball, Barbatos makes sure to, at the very least, offer to help MC get ready at the castle. He may not be the most fashion-centric but being able to spend time with MC in an extravagant get up is enough to make a demon butler interested.

Most of the time he’s disappointed because in between the seven brothers, he’d be lucky to be able to see MC at all because of how jealous they can all get.

I can imagine that even Diavolo doesn’t get to hear what Barbatos has to say about MC and his ability to make him weak at the knees.

But all it takes is Diavolo prompting, “MC’s outfit tonight... It was a sight for sore eyes, correct?”

Then, Barbatos lets a compliment or two slip out.

I can also imagine MC wearing a slightly short snd flowy skirt, and some rather disgusting demons waiting for it to get picked up by the wind, only for Barbatos to already be there, discreetly holding the fabric down and shooting them an intensely calm smile

Barbatos will always be one step ahead of creeps.

👀..

sneaky boy is sneaky.. especially with the constant glances he gives MC.

Solomon’s favorite type of skirt to see on MC is DEFINITELY pleated. No other option.

Unlike Lucifer, if MC isn’t wearing a skirt, he makes it clear that he wishes he would’ve.

It’s in a playful manner, though! Don’t worry.

“No skirt today? Bummer. That’s fine though, I can’t expect myself to feel attracted any less.”

I imagine MC wearing a flowy skirt to some sort of event at the demon lord’s castle, and he uses his magic to make it temporarily sparkle or shine.

This mf flashy and wants EVERYONE to know that MC is dancing with HIM and no one else.

But if you ask him about it, what? What’re you talking about? Lights?? Emitting from your skirt??? While we were dancing ?¿ Crazy talk. I would never do such a thing.,.

As childish as it is, he loves to see the way it flows when MC twirls or turns.

Not in a weird way, either. It’s just beautiful to him.

So, not to be cheesy (which he WITHOUT A DOUBT is.) but he’ll occasionally just spin MC by his hand throughout the day, then catch/dip him by the waist.

[missgarnet]

Where We Stand

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Word count:5.7k

Genre: angst with fluff

Warnings: pregnancy, mentions of past miscarriage, blood and injury, Duchess Min and other characters from Stay,  I swear there’s a happy ending

Summary by @minjoonalist​: fluff, pain, almost pain, spain without the s' and fluff?

Link to ao3

Happy Birthday @sope-and-shine​ Belle, I love you! (also I’m sorry for not killing anyone off in this story, I just couldn’t) 

I also want to say thank you to @minjoonalist​ and @sope-and-shine​‘s Fae for reading through this to helping me edit and think of titles!

“How do I look darling?” you ask, slipping the thin dagger into the hidden slit in the corseted top of your dress.

The duke stepped closer to you and took in the reflection of the two of you together. You watched in the mirror as he swept your hair to the side and started to kiss you, his lips a gentle whisper against your neck. “You look… powerful. I’d have to be an imbecile to ignore that.”

“Is that it?”

You feel his lips forming a smirk against your skin, “Of course not, you’re stunning and you know it just as well as I do. How was I lucky enough to find a wife as brilliant and beautiful as you.” His hands find themselves at your waist, trailing back to play with the laces of your dress.

“Yoongi,” you laugh as you swat his hands away. “They just finished getting me all dressed up in this, I don’t want to call the maids back to retie this again.”

“I’m surprised you haven’t already, you normally make them redo this until it’s as tight as you can get and both of you are exhausted.” He wraps you in his arms again and turns the two of you to face the mirror, “unless you’re…”

He can feel the sharp breath you take, realizing he’d figured it out. “Please, don’t get excited, it's too early for that. I don’t want to tell anyone else just yet.”

“Who else knows?”

“My maid, she thought it was weird when I asked her to find dresses with a higher waistline. She figured it out pretty soon, and I politely asked her not to say anything just yet.”

“Mmhmm, and what do you mean by politely asking this time.”

“I may have… accidentally… threatened to have her tongue removed if she so much as hinted to it”

“You never cease to amaze me, my love.”

A sharp knock on the door interrupted the few moments of alone time you had left. The two of you rushed to finish getting dressed for the day, this meaning countless weapons being discreetly tucked away in the many hidden pockets of your clothing. It was an important day, and you made it a rule to be prepared for anything and everything that could go wrong. Today you had one mission and no one was going to get in your way, not even the king himself.

Looking back you should have said no when she asked you to walk her down the aisle. Traditionally she should have had a family member to give her away, but tradition be damned, if your best friend and closest ally wanted you by her side then nothing was getting in your way.

By the time you got there the poor dear was already panicking as she paced the floor of her dressing room. “What if I mess up or trip and the entire court starts making fun of me”

“I’ll give them something else to talk about.” You said, instinctively reaching toward your favourite dagger. It’s jeweled angel wings sitting at the very top of your gown, giving the appearance of a simple broach when tucked into it’s spot atop your corset.

“Y/N, no weapons. How many times do we have to say this, stabbing people doesn’t solve problems. It only creates more.”

You scoffed at her reply, knowing fully well that it was the first thought you had. “First of all, I wasn’t going to stab anyone… this time. Second, there’s no rule against blackmail or accidently sharing information that would draw far more attention to others.”

“I don’t know how you did this. You didn’t even know Yoongi when the two of you got married, I’ve known Tae far longer and I’m still way too nervous for all of this.”

“Are you kidding me?” You laughed, “I was a wreck on my wedding day. Hell, I practically had to be dragged down the aisle and I would have clawed my way out if I could. I wanted nothing to do with it, then again that wasn’t really up to me. Even afterwards I was still too nervous to actually talk to him, it was much easier to argue and plot all the ways I could get rid of him.”

“You were planning to divorce him?”

“Oh Queenie, divorce was mild compared to what I had in mind.” You smiled at the memories of when you first moved in with your husband. The two of you had barely spent a minute alone, and were at each other's throats any time you were in the same room. He expected someone docile, sweet, and a little fearful of him the way that almost everyone else was. What he hadn’t expected was to be matched with a wife even more stubborn and intimidating than he was, you had become the first true rivalry he had ever experienced and it was thrilling.

It didn’t help him to find out that he had met the only person with a reputation worse than his own among the court, nor that you had found ways to win over his entire staff in a matter of days. Despite being incredibly talented and an excellent asset to have on his side, Yoongi seemed determined to prove that he was still the one in charge for those first few months. Everyday was a competition and the two of you had engaged in a seemingly endless battle of bickering and petty vengeance against one another. Your favourite of these occurred after he made it a point of removing you from a meeting with the generals. He should have known better than to mess with someone who was feared by the court and adored by both his family and his staff.

That next morning as the sun began to rise Yoongi was nearly blinded by the amount of light pouring into his chambers, waking up to the smell of burnt fabric and charred toast. You could hardly contain your laughter when one of the staff recalled being called into the sight of him slipping on his robe only to find that the right sleeve had been completely torn off. Tears ran down your face as you heard about him storming around the room looking for something to wear to meet you at the breakfast table only to find most of his clothes had been sent off to the tailor to be altered or repaired in some way and he had been left with an assortment of mismatched clothing and heavy winter suits. That morning neither of you felt willing to give each other the satisfaction of reacting to the other’s actions. Showing weakness was to show defeat, and neither of you planned on losing. You couldn’t help but feel a sense of just pride as you watched your husband shift in his seat clearly displeased with the current state he was in, almost laughing as he hobbled in missing his left shoe.

You had almost missed the defeated sigh he gave as he took his seat across from you. If he were like any other man you knew, he’d have given you the outburst of rage that you had been preparing yourself for. Instead he had a rather gentle gaze as he met your eyes from across the table and spoke in a soft almost admiring tone, “We can’t keep doing this. I mean seriously, destroying my curtains, burning my breakfast, and ridding me of my entire wardrobe in one morning. And why? I’ve done nothing to offend you.”

The servants quickly began backing out of the room in anticipation of another argument between the two of you.  “Nothing? You really think you’ve nothing wrong?” The icy glare you were so determined to keep directed at him was the only thing holding tears of frustration at bay. But you refused to let him or anyone else see you crying. “Yoongi, you undermine me at every opportunity available, making sure that I have no say in what is going on around me. I have no family here, no friends, no allies on my side. Everything here is about you, while I am constantly pushed aside and belittled by even your guards and servants. I was one of the most brilliant women my age. I learned the arts of battle, bribery, and blackmail by the age of five, and perfected each of them by eleven. And the worst part is all of that is going to waste, I am wasting away and it is all your fault.”

“I’m sorry I had no clue. I just thought you’d want a break from having to fight all the time, I guess I should have noticed this was wrong when you seemed so determined to argue at every opportunity possible.

“You really are an idiot sometimes.”

He laughed at this, the two of you finally sharing a moment of understanding and bonding over as you later called it his very best moment of complete stupidity.

As you sat there recalling all of this your eyes began to water and you let out a quiet sniffle. The two of you had been through so much since then and with very limited exceptions you wouldn’t change a thing. You may not have had the best of beginnings with each other, but he’d done his best to make up for that every day that you’ve shared since then. The two of you still bickered, but it was more affectionate and caring now that you’d decided to save your fury to defend one another.

“Y/N are you crying?” your best friend placed her hand over yours in a comforting gesture.

“No, of course not.” You tried to dry your eyes, but the gesture was not as subtle as you had hoped. “Fine maybe a little. I think I’m just feeling sentimental, all this wedding stuff had me thinking about when Yoongi and I were newly married and the time we had our first good fight”

“You still haven’t told me what happened to the shoes, and everytime I tried to ask the staff they just got really quiet and seemed like they were too afraid to speak.”

“Well, I took all of his left shoes and I had one of my maids put a box outside his room. Then I took most of them and put them away in the box, and I sent the rest away to be burned.”

“You burned his shoes”

“Only the left ones, and only the pairs I didn’t like. Besides if I were to do that now there would have been a lot more of them being burned, I swear just the smell of that shoe polish is enough to make me sick nowadays. Then again there’s been a lot of things that do.”

“Are you, you know?” The young queen-to-be asked, doing her best to emphasize the implied meaning.

“Am I what,” you asked, a challenging tone in your voice. It was obvious she knew, but if she wanted to ask she would have to use her words.

She gives you a knowing smile and pulls you in for a hug, “Congratulations Y/N!”

“Oh, shut up” you laughed trying to hide how nervous you were feeling. Yes she was your best friend, but this pregnancy was news you didn’t want out to the public just yet. “Today is your day, I don’t want to take away from that.”

She rushes to the clock at this realizing the two of you were running horribly behind schedule. As you rush through the halls together, you do your best to pin her veil in place and keep the train of her dress from collecting dust and dirt from the floor. Both of you pause outside the closed doors grandly looming before you, your faces warm and nearly out of breath.

You begin the task of fixing her appearance one last time before everything starts changing again. She was always so small and quiet when you first met. You never thought such a timid young woman would come this far, but something about her just spoke of being so much more than just another commoner. And now here she was in the most delicate white gown with layers of chiffon carefully draped over each other and tiny sleeves resting just off of her shoulders, looking more composed and regal than anyone you’ve ever seen before. The light reflects against some of the crystals sewn into her veil almost creating a halo around her. The light airy dress looked stunning on her and seemed even brighter as the two of you stood side by side. All the intricate layering and the bright white of her dress contrasted beautifully against yours. It wasn’t your original plan but the midnight blue gown and it’s simple pattern seemed to exaggerate your figure in the best of ways. It’s plain bodice and jeweled collar drew attention up and away from the changes you were hoping to hide.

The doors are drawn open and the two of you take a sharp breath as you begin the long anticipated journey down the aisle. To anyone else she would seem calm and composed, but you knew better, “You know, I’ve still got the carriage waiting outside. Say the word and we’ll start running. I’ll even lead the horses myself if that’s what it takes.”

You can see the slight bounce of her shoulders as she begins silently laughing. Looking around you begin to hold on to faces in the crowd, doing your best to remember where everyone was seated to use for later. It was a shock to see Namjoon and his new bride so close to the front, you thought they’d be in the back where she’d be hidden away from the prying eyes of so many nobles. After all, their relationship had been quite a scandal and she was much too far along to hide anything. What didn’t surprise you was the look on Taehyung’s face when he saw you and his fiance nearing the altar. The two of them were stupidly in love with each other and you could see that from a mile away.

You found yourself rather exhausted after all the excitement from the queen’s wedding, deciding to take just a short break at home before involving yourself with any of the court’s drama for a while. It was meant to be just a week, maybe two at the most but as time went by it felt much better to be in the manor with Yoongi than anywhere else. The two of you were still bickering like any other day, but being at home gave you a space away from the rest of the court once you’d started showing. The two of you became cautiously excited about your future child, still too worried to be fully invested but getting closer as each week went by.

There had been a few rough times along the way, but everything had been going well for the most part. That little piece of hope growing each day was worth any of the worries and discomforts you were facing, even the morning sickness that lasted much longer than you would have preferred. You thought things were getting better until another worrisome incident took place.

“Yoongi,  I started bleeding this morning, and something feels very wrong.”

“Are you alright?” He shook his head realizing his mistake, “I’m sorry that’s a ridiculous question. What are you feeling, is there anything I can do?”

“I’m scared Yoongs, I don’t know what’s going on and I can’t tell if it’s normal or if it’s going poorly again. It can’t end like last time, I can’t lose another. I don’t know if there’s anything that can be done, I just don’t want to be alone.”

He crawled up into the oversized bed beside you, gently taking you in his arms as he brushed your hair aside. “I know there’s nothing you or I can do and it’s completely out of our control, but I want you to remember I’m here and I will always love you no matter what.”

The midwife had a sad smile when she entered the room. Mrs. Lee was one of the oldest staff members serving the Mins, having delivered you herself. It warmed her heart to see the two of you curled up together so caring and gentle for once. She had originally been hired to act as a wet nurse, but when your mother went into early labor the midwife had been by her side. You’d practically been raised by her along with a few other maids, so when you found out you were with child there was only one person you wanted to have with you.

Mrs. Lee had seen you grow from a small frail infant to a rather intelligent young woman, and knew almost all of the struggles you had faced along the way. It was always her that you went to with any problems whether it was scraped knees or scheming nobles. Your first pregnancy was rough to say the least, and she was there for all of it holding your hand when everything came to it’s heartbreaking end.

And here she is now, doing her best to keep you calm as she conducts her exam. You begin to shift as you feel another one of the pains you’d felt earlier. It wasn’t horrible, only strange and unpleasant. Yoongi presses his lips to your forehead while you begin to play with his hands to distract yourself. The two lay holding tight to one another as you wait for the midwife’s news. As she felt your stomach, Mrs. Lee paused for a moment furrowing her brow before suddenly bursting out in a smile unlike any other.

“Your Grace, I have good news and even better news. First off your child is in perfect health at the time being.”

You let out a heavy sigh of relief, both of you feeling as though a large weight had been lifted.

“Second is those little pains you were complaining about. It’s not something going wrong that feeling is from the baby kicking. A lot of mothers complain about it being an odd feeling, but it’s good and it means that the baby’s doing well.”

“They didn’t kick last time,” you whispered.

“I know Angel,” she explained. “But you’re much further along this time, and you seem much healthier. Having some spotting this late is a bit concerning, but so long as you start getting enough rest and I keep checking up on you, I don’t think we have anything we need to be too worried about. I’m going to head out now and give the two of you some space, but you can call for me at any time even if it’s something small.”

Mrs. Lee excused herself and quietly left the two of you on your own once more. Yoongi loosened his embrace and turned to face you, there were tears in his eyes and the biggest gummy smile he’s had. You take your hand and place his against your stomach where your unborn child kept kicking. The two of you sat in a comfortable silence for a while before he finally felt something, “They kicked! They actually-” He laughed and gave a joyful little sigh at this, “I love you so much Angel, you’re going to be an amazing mother.”

“I love you too Yoongs, I couldn’t do any of this without you. We’re going to be a great team, but I think our child is going to need a name pretty soon.”

Yoongi gave you an evil grin, “We should name her Yoonji”

“Absolutely not, I think I’m going to be sick,” you announced pressing your hand to your stomach. “We are not naming her after your sister, she’s too much of a b-”

“You can’t keep calling her a bitch, especially when we’re in front of others,” he tried to sound exasperated but the laughter that followed quickly put an end to that act.

You rolled your eyes at the ridiculous argument the two of you kept falling into, surely there were more important things than your opinions and not so backhanded comments about his sister. “Please be serious. If you could choose any name for our child, what would it be?”

“What about Aria for a girl’s name?”

You smile and take his hand in yours once more, “I think it’s beautiful, but we’re not going to need it. We are having a son.”

“My Love, I have no doubt that you know just about everything but we’re not going to find out until they’re here. There’s no way of being sure.”

“No, I’m absolutely sure. This child will be our first beautiful little boy, and I know I’m right. It’s a mother’s instinct and I’m never wrong.”

“Then what are you suggesting, since you’re never wrong.”

“What about Hyun-Su?”

“It’s perfect.”

You pull him closer and reach up to cup his face between your hands, “We’re going to be good at this, right? They’re going to turn out better than we did.”

“I hope so,” he turns his head slightly as he presses his lips to each of your palms. “Regardless they’re going to grow up knowing that they have two parents who will love and fight for them no matter what.”

The two of you stayed under the covers, wrapped in this moment of relief and utter bliss at knowing that your child would grow to be safe, healthy, and above all else loved. What you didn’t know was that this joy would be short lived as much grimmer news was always just around the corner. You had found out quite some time before Yoongi, receiving the letter from one of the associates you had within the court. Oftentimes it paid to have eyes and ears throughout the kingdom, but for possibly the first time you regretted having this knowledge. The letter shook in your hands as you considered your choices, you could send help but you knew there would be some kind of trap lying in wait. There was no way you would risk losing Yoongi to such an obvious scheme, even if it meant sacrificing someone else. Throwing the parchment into the fireplace you watched as all of it crumbled to ash.

The letters kept coming, this time from the Southern Kims themselves each one growing more desperate in their pleas for assistance. It would be one thing to send soldiers, but you knew Yoongi would try to go with and fight the second he heard that Seokjin was in danger. The Kims were kind and had been there for you and your husband every time you needed help, they deserved better and it broke your heart to turn them away knowing that they and their children were likely to die.

At first you just hid them in the pockets of your dress, but after one had nearly slipped out in front of Yoongi you had taken more precautions in hiding the precious information contained in the writing. It began with storing them under the dresser, and then in your pillowcase, burning them the second you had a chance. You had been pulling up the floorboards in search of a new hiding place when Yoongi finally found out. Pushing the envelope under your skirts you had tried to keep him from noticing anything amiss. Unfortunately your husband was more observant than you would like to give him credit for and he had known you long enough to know how you’d try to hide something.

“Yoongi, you can’t go. These aren’t just another group of ruthless barbarians stupid enough to slaughter their own men, they’ll know that you’re coming and they will plan for that.”

“I’ll meet with the generals before I go, we’ll come up with a plan. It will be alright, I promise.” He took your hand in his willing you both to believe the words he said.

You pulled away from him as you stood, “Very well, we can meet with the generals and send troops to help the Kims. However, you are staying here.”

“No, Jin might get on my nerves at times but he’s one of my closest friends. I’m not going to do nothing while he and his family are at risk.”

“What about our family? I know I didn’t want to get too excited about anything, but we don’t have very long until we’re parents ourselves.”

“I’ll be back before the baby comes, without so much as a scratch. I promise.”

“Please don’t. Don’t make promises that we both know aren’t guaranteed.” You took a shakey breath, “Yoongi, I rarely ask anything of you, but this time I am begging you please don’t go. I can’t lose you- we can’t lose you.”

He said something, but you could hardly process the words as his footsteps echoed across the floor, he left you with the hollow sound of your bedroom doors swinging shut behind him and a simple apology mumbled from behind the sealed doors.

You refused to sit and do nothing as your husband led himself to slaughter, if there was anyway to prevent his death you would find it. Collecting all the debts and favours owed to you by the less than upstanding members of the court was just the beginning. It took more bribing and blackmail than you had bargained for, but you got other nobles to send the reinforcements you needed. Lady Park had been all too cooperative after you happened to mention a certain nude portrait and it’s current whereabouts, she and her husband sent twice the guards you had asked for and even provided maps of the area. As for the others, some were less generous but were still eager to compensate you for information or silence in one way or another. The Northern Kims were unable to send any troops of their own. However, Namjoon’s young wife had provided a sizable amount of gold and information on a mercenary group that was up to the job. You had nothing to use against them and didn’t know of anything they were in need of, but for some reason she had given you help regardless. It was a small kindness, but a greatly appreciated one in your time of need.

Everything was in place and you’d given the go ahead for them to approach the men surrounding the Southern Palace, but you’d yet to hear back from any of your troops. All of this had been meant as a backup plan in case something went wrong, but as days turned into weeks Yoongi’s chances of success were growing smaller. You’d taken to pacing the halls at night as your due date drew nearer, he should have been back by now.

“Y/N, you have to rest. You're putting too much stress on your body and that’s not good for you or the baby,” Mrs. Lee warned as she pushed your hair away from your face.

“ Well... seeing as how he’s the one causing all of this, you can take that up with Yoongi once he’s back. Until then I’ll be up doing everything I can to make sure that he comes home in one piece.”

Mrs. Lee didn’t seem too fond of your reply and folded her arms across her chest, “I’ll be sure to mention that, but until then I want you to be resting as much as possible and taking care of yourself. So little miss, you will be in bed, eating three full meals a day, and you will not be fussing over all of this anymore. What’s done is done and all we can do is wait.”

One of the maids came knocking at your door, disturbing your mandated rest. Somehow you’d become even more confined to your room after the slight back pains you’d felt that morning. You’d been told to get your rest and avoid getting too worked up. Mrs. Lee would be furious if she found out, but she wasn’t the one in charge here and you had told them to wake you at any hour if they had news from your husband. The young girl had placed a small parcel before you and saw her way out as quietly as possible. You tore the small bow apart, unwrapping it as quickly as possible, tearing the paper piece by piece until you felt shredded wet fabric against your hands.

From the mess you were able to identify one of Yoongi’s jackets, torn to bits and coated in sweat from the battlefield. You’d grown used to seeing things like this, but what stopped you in your tracks were the warm heavily saturated stains of blood that had seeped into the cut fabric. He’d sent you these before, but never in this condition. The two of you had a running joke that he could damage any clothing or armor he wore in a fight, so long as he came home unharmed. But this didn’t seem like it came from someone else, if he had been wearing this then it had to be his blood. Picking up the paper, you looked again for a ransom note, a threatening letter, anything that would tell you that he was still alive, but there was nothing else. He was gone and there was nothing you could do about it.

You felt a sob forming as a different kind of pain tore through you. It was a kind of pressure that brought you to your knees, crying out as Mrs. Lee rushed to your side. She helped you to the edge of the bed, helping you to lay back as she wiped the tears from your eyes.

“It’s going to be alright Y/N, we’re gonna get through this.”

“I can’t- I can’t do this alone. I’m not ready.”

Mrs. Lee takes your hand and squeezes it in hers, “You’re not alone, I’m right here with you

“That’s not what I mean and you know it, he’s gone.”

“Now that’s enough of that, you need to save your energy. I was trying to keep you from going into labor this soon, but it looks like it’s about time to push.” You shook your head at Mrs. Lee’s words as you tried to delay the inevitable. As much as you attempted to stall your labor, your efforts had been in vain as you entered the hours of pushing. Your vision blurred from falling tears as you cried out for the one person who vowed to be by your side for moments like these, all the while knowing that he was never going to walk through that door again

“Angel, I’m here.” Yoongi’s voice called out as the doors were thrown open.

“You’re hurt,” you commented as you took his face between your hands. He had a large gash running down his face, the cut at first glance seeming to go through his eye as well. As you started to remove the blood it became clear that it had been a very narrow miss, but was deeper than you had hoped.

“It’s only a scratch.”

“Oh really, If that’s only a scratch then all this is but a stomach ache and I should be up and about in a few minutes at most.”

“That’s hardly a fair-” Unfortunately for Yoongi, whatever argument he had planned was soon cut off by your yelling at yet another contraction. He climbed into the bed behind you, holding your hand as you cursed him for putting you in your current position.

Whomever said that the pain of childbirth disappeared from one’s memory the second they held their child was horribly wrong, and you wanted nothing more than to personally stab that person in the stomach so that they could feel a fragment of everything you went through. And yet, when you looked at your newborn son it felt as though all that pain were worth it. Yoongi had somehow forgotten about all the horrible things you had called him during labor, or at least decided not to bring it up for a very long time. Your child had made an early and all too exciting entrance into the world, and all of you seemed to be recovering from this in one way or another.

Yoongi had been healing very well, but it became apparent that his wound would leave a scar. Not that you minded, he’d teased you about yours since the very first night the two of you had known each other intimately. Even now as you lie in bed he still traces the two lines on each side of your spine, pressing a kiss to each of the spots he claimed must have held the wings of an angel before you had fallen.

“I think we’ve earned ourselves at least a full day of napping.” Yoongi commented, already pulling the covers over the two of you.

“Just one?” You asked, “If you ask me I think we should try and break our old record and try for at least two and a half days of sleep.”

“When did we,” he paused as the memory dawned on him, “Are you talking about the New Year’s when we were snowed in with the Park family. I remember being in bed for most of that weekend, but I don’t recall much sleep going on at the time.”

“I was talking about after all of that, we ended up being so tired that we spent our last couple days asleep. We could have gotten a few more hours of rest if their staff hadn’t woken us up.”

“Well, there’s no one to bother us now. And our son is sound asleep, so I think we should be too.”

The two of you glanced at the tiny figure in the crib across from you, he looked so small and fragile but you had been relieved to know that he would continue to grow into a strong and healthy young boy. He was only a few days old and you were already starting to notice that he had formed his dad’s same habit of oversleeping, “Hey Yoongs, I’m happy he takes after you.”

[haikyuu-scenarios-drabbles]

anonymous asked:  How would you feel about an Avatar AU? I’d love to see what element, or if a character is a non-bender, you feel would match your favourite characters in HQ!

oh-HO. i am unsure if you know that Avatar is one of my all-time favorite shows so when i saw this ask i was pumped!!! without further ado: i finally had some inspiration. i took this a bit farther than just my fav characters (i did as many as i could think of) and although i say in my rules i don’t do hc’s i felt this ask was best answered in that format so i did my best! i hope you enjoy 😁 im nervous as hell about headcanons 😬 some i have reasons for (serious or funny) and others i just...have a feeling 

special shoutout to my discord fam that i love so dearly and especially to @animelake13 and @justoverseas for helping me out 💕💕

Karasuno:

Daichi:

Alright with those thighs and that dependability?? Earthbender through and through

He is a rock solid, all-around player that holds Karasuno all together

he is their BASE, stable as fuck

he didn’t get those thighs from nothing he got them kicking around some boulders

didnt get those arms from nothing either, punching rocks out of mountainsides

Suga:

Waterbender for sure

Hello? Mr. Refreshing

Very calm and level-headed, but like Katara: DO NOT. FUCK WITH HIM.

He’ll fuck you up

again like Katara, mom friend, supporting the whole team, caring a lot about them and getting ready to fight and ready to jump in and help at a moments notice

Asahi: (Thanks Louie!)

ok so this boy was hard to decide bc, he’s a nervous bean but also the motherfuckin ace so he ain’t playin around

so i decided on earthbender because, he’s a big boi; a powerful and all-around player that has the respect of his teammates

and although he’s nervous, so maybe he doesn’t use earthbending to the extent of other benders but when he needs to, he will

and when he does it has impact and he is a pretty strong earthbender to boot

he can move fucking mountains when he wants to

member of the white lotus bc he only uses his immense power when he absolutely has to

noya: “asahi!! show us your bending”

asahi: “oh im not much of a bender”

MOVES A CONTINENT

Noya:

While my first instinct was firebender

the more i thought about it the more airbender made sense

air is the element of freedom and Noya is the definition of wild and free

not only that but his position too! airbending is almost purely defensive

sounds like our guardian diety to me

also can u imagine

Noya and Hinata racing like maniacs on air scooters

Daichi throwing up barriers all over the place to stop them but they just nyoom around them like obstacles

airbending is all about circles too and roooooolllliiiinnnng (hehe) thunder!!!

Tanaka:

alrighty well here is Karasuno’s firebender

Firebending is known for its intense and aggressive attacking style and literally

Tanaka yells like a maniac anytime he goes in for a spike

and firebenders can be hotheaded (dont have to be, Iroh for example) BUT say anything about Kiyoko, Karasuno or really anything and he’s ready to throw down

it might be all talk but he still gets fucking triggered

he fires up two flames in his palms and makes that face “ehhh what did you say about our lovely Kiyoko-san?!?”

Enno:

airbender

he has such patience and probably mediates or something 

or else he’d go crazy from Tanaka and Noya doing stupid airbender/firebender shit and burning down the entire town 

deals it out when he needs to, sometimes blowing Tanaka and Noya to opposite sides of the room and pinning them there until they calm the fuck down

anytime Tanaka gets too heated, Enno just shows up and blows out his fire 

Hinata:

ok so i kinda spoiled earlier

but airbender

i know airbending is defensive and Hinata sucks at that aspect, but his personality man, airbender all the way

again imagine him and Noya zooming on air scooters around

they would be a MENANCE

but also in the same sense, airbending is all about finding a way around the “normal” way of fighting (they refuse to harm anything is what i mean)

Hinata had to find his own way of fighting in volleyball and yeah…airbender  

possibly bc he’s a bit of an airhead too  

Kageyama:

WATERBENDER BUT WITH BLOODBENDING BACKGROUND

ok hear me out

he used to want to control people and make them do what he wants, otherwise get rid of them bc they’re useless and who needs ‘em

but then he meets this stupid, bounce off the walls, airbender who he doesn’t need to control bc this kid already does what he couldnt find in anyone else

and he slowly learns to stop using bloodbending, sometimes slips and lapses, but for the most part has left that part of him behind

also water is the element of change and Kageyama certainly goes through a major change in character throughout Haikyuu

everytime Hina and him fight, they make a snowstorm that nobody can stop and it pisses Tsukki off bc he can’t do anything about it

Tsukki: (props to Lake for this one)

tsukki why are you an enigma

nonbender and is a sword master 

with his ability to analyze and control, he would heckin destroy 

sword fights are a lot about watching your opponent and being able to make a quick decision to block or counter attack 

he can definitely make decisions at the drop of a hat and his strategies work and work well 

Yamaguchi:

THIS BOY

IS A WATERBENDER BUT SPECIALIZES IN HEALING

when Karasuno needs him most!!! he’s there!! ready to help and get his team back on his feet, in this sense by healing them

and also like Suga, mirroring Katara, don’t fuck with him. especially when it comes to Tsukki

AGAIN like Katara/Suga, mom friend, there to support all the time and bust in and help when needed

More teams under the cut!

Aoba Johsai:

Oikawa:

so there’s a bit of a trend here i see

but Oikawa would also be a waterbender, i guess it’s a setter thing

water is the element of change and Oikawa adjusts his setting style and approach for each of his team members to bring out the best of them

waterbenders let their defense become their offense turning their opponents own forces against them which i think fits Oikawa to a T

can make ice spikes he can throw long distances with scary accurate precision

like, one can just zip past your ear, and you dont see him anywhere where tf is he?!

Iwaizumi: 

i couldn’t decide between firebender and earthbender

so i went with the lovely mix, lavabender 

just like Toph, Iwa shows his affection through some sort of violence, but thats just cause he cares a lot

oikawa has mastered the art of distinguishing flaming hunks of smoldering rock thrown at his face

also stubborn unmoving like a rock

and when he gets heated, he is fired up

and finally, arms. where did he get ‘em? throwing boulders around. 

Shiratorizawa:

Ushijima:

metalbender, bc he’s definitely an earth bender but there’s something special about him

he’s a little dense (ok maybe not a little)

Earthbenders are generally muscular, tough and direct AND HELLO. thats Ushijima in a nutshell 

Tendou:

our guess monster is definitely a non-bender

like ty lee specializes in chi-blocking 

he can disrupt someones chi pretty easily making them completely helpless 

sometimes he does it to be funny 

like make Ushi’s right arm useless for a day 

and Ushi is like “Tendou. I don’t use that arm anyways.” 

“i knoooooooow Wakatoshi thats the point!”

which for some reason Tendou thinks is hilarious cause now he really cant use it 

Semi:

firebender

mainly bc of his hotheaded and competitive behavior 

his desire to show his abilities in his words is “uncontainable” and that kind of made me think of Azula 

wants to show off and be the best 

Shirabu:

so although Shirabu is also extremely hot-headed, he hits me as a waterbender too 

maybe just because every single setter so far has been a waterbender but its just my gut feeling 🤷

Nekoma:

Kuroo:

firebender but can lightning bend

dont ask me why it just seems right

he has the concentration and flow it takes to lightning bend, i mean he has that whole speech he gives to his team before every game 

“We're like the blood in our veins. We must flow without stopping. Keep the oxygen moving and your mind working.” 

and while this may lead to possibly thinking he could be a waterbender, he uses his knack for fluid motion and deceptive strength for a different purpose

not only can he lightning bend, he can redirect lightning which takes an immense amount of skill and is drawn from waterbending techniques

maybe its also the hair cause it looks like he got hit by lightning

Kenma:

ill be honest, i dont think Kenma would be a bender

what he would be ilike is Sokka, super smart, the strategizer, the man with the plan

who people look to for the next step, the brain of the operation

and i dont think he’d necessarily have a speciality besides overwhelming ability to observe and make decisions

so basically…he’d be the same LOL

Yaku:

earthbender

being small (dont kick me Yaku) means nothing (uhh have you seen Toph?)

super dependable and not gunna take anyone’s shit

Yamamoto:

Tanaka’s counterpart

his homeboy

his fellow firebender

both ready to throwdown at a moments notice

Fukurodani: (wow i suck i dont know anyone well enough but these two)

Bokuto:

did someone say airbender??

i just keep imagining he was the one to teach Hinata the air scooter and they fuckin zoom around while Bokuto is hollering at the top of his lungs

his hair already looks winblown, like he just stepped off his glider and doesn’t bother to fix it

also im cackling bc airbenders prefer evasive manuevers and…i keep thinking about that time he ran away from a block and Akaashi called him out for it

Akaashi: (ily Lake for helping)

so apparently setters are waterbenders

bc this boy is definitely one

he has nice fingers (weird i know) but i can see him just making these beautiful hand motions to bend water and hnngg yes

ok but in a more real way, waterbenders have strong fluid motion and understand those around them, they believe in very strong connections between individuals 

so even when Bo is out of the game, Fukurodani doesn’t fall apart because they have strong connections and can survive without him 

[emjenenla]

Help me piece it all together, darling, before it falls apart: Jace[A Mortal Instruments Fanfic]

Clary | Jace

It was done, but that was different than saying it was finished. Or Clary and Jace post-CoHF.

Warnings: Discussion of the death of a child

Also posted on AO3 (username: Emjen_Enla) and ff.net (username: Emjen Enla)

I don’t own TSC, all these books belong to Cassandra Clare. Title from “Quarter Past Midnight” by Bastille.

Theoretically, you could either read Clary’s part first or Jace’s. Since I had to post them in an order, I did it in the order I wrote them (Clary first and then Jace). This is Jace’s part.

Jace

The New York Institute is an entirely different place now. Robert came home for only a couple days and in that time packed up all his things and moved them to the Inquisitor's mansion in Idris. Alec hasn’t moved his things out, but he and Magnus are pretty obviously living together and everytime he stops by the Institute he brings a few more of his things back to Magnus’s with him. Isabelle spends most of her time cloistered in her room grieving, Maryse does the same in her office. Elijah Highsong is quite possibly the most difficult person to tolerate ever.

All in all, things are not going well for the Lightwoods.

Maryse doesn’t cook anymore. Jace doesn’t begrudge her for it, in fact he completely understands. However, Izzy is perfectly capable of giving herself food poisoning with her own cooking if left alone, so Jace goes to the store and stocks up on frozen and easy-to-make meals so his mother and sister don’t starve. As for him, he appetite is not coming back. He knows its stress, but that doesn’t make it easier to eat when he feels like he’ll be sick if he tries.

He does a lot of training just to distract himself. He trains to make himself tired enough to sleep, he trains when he can’t sleep, he trains with Clary, he trains with Isabelle, he trains with Alec. His every spare moment--and he has a lot of spare moments now--is spent either training or chasing sleep.

He practically lives for his sessions with Clary. She’s more focused on her training than ever, probably because she’s trying not to think about Simon. Dimly, Jace is aware that he should probably try to make sure Clary develops better coping mechanisms than he has, but that would require him to actually know some better coping mechanisms, which he doesn’t.

On January 18, 2008 Jace turns seventeen and celebrates his real birthday for the first time. After early morning training and boredom-inducing lessons with Elijah Highsong, Jace and Clary go to the Strand. Clary looks at the manga and the art books, while Jace stakes out in the poetry section and paces up and down, plucking delicate chapbooks from the shelves. He hasn’t been in a bookstore since August and the feeling is surreal, like it belongs in another world. In the end, Clary ends up paying for all their books simply because she snatches Jace’s from him and won’t give them back no matter how much he begs.

“Have you ever thought about writing poetry?” she asks while on the subway heading to Magnus’s for the birthday party he and Alec have been not-so-secretly planning for weeks.

“No,” Jace admits. “I’m a Shadowhunter, we-”

“Don’t give me that,” Clary said. “You’re the one who said I would draw again even though I’m a Shadowhunter now. I’ll bet you could write poetry if you practiced. You should give it a shot.”

“Perhaps,” he says and eventually he does take her advice, though he doesn’t mention it to anyone for years. (The first of his poems that he shares is the one he writes for his and Clary’s wedding. He reads it aloud during the reception and they’re both crying by the time he finishes.)

But that is, unfortunately, years later. Right now there are other things to deal with.

When the Lightwoods had returned to New York after the Mortal War, they had found the door to Max’s bedroom open, how he had most likely left it in his excitement to leave for Alicante. Jace, Isabelle and Alec had discovered this because their bedrooms were all in the same hallway as Max’s. Isabelle had turned and fled to her room, but Jace and Alec had stood in the hallway for what felt like an endless period of time.  Eventually, Alec had closed the door firmly and walked away.

It doesn’t seem like Max’s room will ever be opened again by the time Clary is finally judged ready for her first real demon hunt. Given that Clary has already killed her fair share of demons, Jace wouldn’t be worried about it if Elijah Highsong wasn’t required by Clave law to come with them.

“You know, it’s almost hilarious that he’s giving us tips on how not to be eaten by demons,” Jace hisses to Clary as they’re arming themselves to go out, “when he’s the one most likely to be eaten by demons tonight.” Clary laughs and that sends Highsong into a twenty minute lecture about how demon hunting is a serious business and should not laughed about.

Somehow, the demon hunt goes fine. Surprisingly, and perhaps somewhat disappointingly, Highsong manages to survive. The tutor doesn’t seem to realize that he’d been entirely useless and had to be protected by a bunch of teenagers. Jace is honestly beginning to be thankful that this man isn’t on patrol, because he’d likely get another Shadowhunter killed.

They drop Clary off at Jocelyn and Luke’s and head back to the Institute. They had the early shift tonight, so there’s still plenty of time to get a decent amount of sleep before morning. They are climbing the Institute steps and Elijah Highsong has been rattling on since they got relieved. Jace has mostly stopped listening when the tutor says, “And then there’s those idiots too stupid to keep their children away from danger!”

Isabelle and Jace go so still and quiet that Highsong actually stops talking and looks at them in confusion.

“What did you say?” Isabelle asks, very tensely. There’s a warning in her voice that Jace recognizes immediately, but Highsong doesn’t.

“People should keep better track of their children,” Highsong says, chest puffing out in pride at the thought of telling them something they don’t know. “We lead dangerous lives and Shadowhunter parents should be aware of that and keep better watch over their children. If something horrible happens to a Shadowhunter child the family has no one to blame but themselves.”

For a moment that stretches on into infinity, neither Jace nor Isabelle responds. Then Isabelle takes an unsteady breath. “Damn you,” she snarls to Highsong, lips and hands trembling, “Damn you.” Then she turns and flees into the Institute.

Highsong’s mouth opens and closes a couple times. “What--She--I demand respect!”

“You do realize,” Jace says before the tutor can say anything more. “That Sebastian Morgenstern killed our baby brother during the Mortal War, don’t you?”

He doesn’t wait for Highsong to figure out what to say, and just heads inside. Izzy has barricaded herself in her bedroom and screams at him to go away when he knocks. Eventually he gives up and wanders along the mostly dark hallway. He plans to go back to his room to try to sleep when he finds himself standing outside Max’s door, still shut tightly. Almost without thinking, he finds himself opening the door and letting himself inside.

The room is just how it was before they left for Alicante during the Mortal War. Toys and manga volumes and clothes and training weapons are strewn across the floor in a way that sets Jace’s teeth on edge. Part of him wants to clean up, to set everything in order, but the rest of him wants to preserve the room like this forever, as a tiny piece of Max to hang onto. This is not right. Max was just a kid, he should not have been hurt, but then Jace knows better than to expect anything even approaching that level of humanity from Sebastian.

When morning finally comes Jace has somehow ended up lying on his stomach on Max’s bed. He watches the sunlight creep across the floor through eyes which are scratchy with tears and lack of sleep. He should get up and get ready for training, but he can’t find it in him to move. He still hasn’t moved when, some interminable amount of time later, the door opens and someone steals quietly into the room.

“Jace?” It’s Clary. Of course it is. None of the Lightwoods would have come into this room, even to confirm he wasn’t there. “Are you alright?”

Jace shrugs, he’s too exhausted for words let alone his usual cockiness.

Clary crosses the room and sits down on the edge of the bed, looking into his face with a serious expression. “Did you get any sleep?” she asks, running a hand through his hair.

Jace shakes his head.

“Izzy says we’re all boycotting training today,” Clary says conversationally. “What happened?”

Jace clears his throat and manages to speak, “What did Izzy tell you?”

“Just that none of us are training and then a list of anatomically unlikely and increasingly vulgar things Elijah Highsong can do to himself,” Clary says. She pauses for a moment and when Jace doesn’t respond says, “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want.”

“He just said something thoughtless about Shadowhunters who lose young children,” Jace forces the words out. His whole body feels like it’s made out of lead. He’s so tired. “I don’t think he even remembered about...about Max.”

Clary’s whole body tenses in anger, but she doesn’t prod any further. Instead she coxes Jace to his feet, leads him back to his room and tucks him into bed. When he’s comfortable, she settles against his headboard with her sketchbook balanced against her raised knees. “What should I draw?” she asks.

“Something happy,” Jace mumbles, snuggling in closer to her.

She chews on her lip for a moment, then begins to sketch the outline of a person. He watches in fascination as the random lines begin to coalesce into an image. He loves watching her draw.

It only takes a few minutes for him to realize that she’s drawing him. “You should draw yourself too,” he slurs sleepily. “I’ve never seen you draw yourself.”

“That’s because I’m bad at it,” Clary says. “My self-portraits never look good.”

“I’ll bet that’s not true,” He says, losing the battle to keep his eyes open. “Everything you draw looks amazing.”

When he next opens his eyes, Clary is talking quietly with Isabelle and Alec who apparently came over and kept Izzy company up on the roof all day. They’re discussing going to Taki’s for supper and whether or not Elijah Highsong deserves more punishment than just being snubbed. Clary’s sketchbook is lying on the bed, open to an almost-completed sketch of her and Jace smiling, their arms wrapped around each other.

The likeness is almost perfect.

[crimson-of-the-earth]

Why I (Don’t)... [A New Annoying Series] Actual Title: Why I Don’t Take Commissions From Strangers Anymore

Hey, guys! So I’ve been in a sort of rant-y mood lately and I’ve just posted a vent a few days ago about why I train for mat wrestling instead of going to wrestling school.

I thought that since I’m probably gonna be posting a lot more of this kind of rant/vent posts, I figured I’d make it a series where I can:

Rant/Vent about certain topics

Answer asks regarding said topic or

Give my thoughts and opinions about certain stuff

Under the cut will be the actual rant so if you’re not into these sorts of posts, either ignore this or blacklist the words ‘rant’ and ‘vent’ so you won’t have to see further installments of this series.

Why I Don’t Take Fanfic Commissions From Strangers Anymore

You guys probably didn’t know this (that’s on purpose since I don’t think my work is good enough. and besides, i don’t have a paypal account) but I take fanfic commissions from either my friends, my family, my classmates, my professors; Basically anyone who is willing to shell out money for my work.

I originally posted my commission prices on my class’ (or ‘block’ as we refer to it here) group DMs. I did the whole 9 yards; I posted to the PE Group, the Western Cuisine Group, the Bar and Beverage Management Group; I posted that commission list to every school/class related group DM I had, and I’m sure I pissed off a few people because most of them were in all of those groups as well so they’d seen the same list over and over again. Sure, my commission list was pretty full, but none of the works I was working with were like more than 2,000 words so I was finishing them rather quickly.

The way I do these commissions is through Google Docs or MS Word and send through e-mail, but the payment has to be handed to me in person the day before I start the commission, either half or full price upfront depending on the trust I have with the client.

Now, it may seem like I’m rambling but all this will make sense in a second.

So, a lot of my clientele (if you could call it that) are people from my friends circle, or people who have the same major as me, same classes as me, or basically just people I interact with on a daily basis and/or know on a basic level. 

I keep this business a secret from my family because I’ll admit it: I don’t like sharing hard-earned money unless it’s important. I know that makes me sound horrible but what I do with the money I’ve earned is treat my mom or my sister or both to go to the mall, maybe buy a few nice things for them to kinda...give back to them. Sometimes, I even tell my mom to just not give me lunch money on certain days because I can buy food for myself, saving her money to treat herself with. If they knew about my “job” as a fanfic writer, they’d constantly borrow money from me that I could’ve spent giving my mom and my sister gifts.

Now that that’s outta the way, onto the actual rant.

Like I said, I take commissions from my classmates who I have the same classes/major with or professors with whom I have classes with. So I know everyone who commissions me in the event of a discrepancy, regarding either the agreed-upon word count, confusion about prices, wanting refunds, etc., etc., they could easily approach me for it or leave a note in my locker with their name, commission details, class/subject we both have, and any concern they might have. (It’s very detailed for a fanfic commission, I know. It would’ve been easier if this was all done digitally but just like with everything else, I need receipts in case of any mishaps that might happen.)

Since I use the same format for new commissions, someone from the IT College (mind you, I’m an HRS/Hospitality & Restaurant Services major) submitted a request note saying that they would like to commission me for a 10,000+ word, multi-chaptered work, and told me to meet up at the school canteen later at lunch that day to discuss details. 

I was already cringing at that point because, let’s face facts here: College students don’t really have any money to spare unless they’re either really rich or they have a part-time job. And the fic they wanted was going to be at least $105 (₱5,600 = $38 + my time [$10] + the extra details they wanted [which estimated around $20 since they asked for basically purple prose descriptions] + the prologue [which costs exactly the same price for a one-shot, 1,000< word fic $5) and I know they aren’t gonna have the money to pay upfront.

When we met up, he told me all the details, that he wanted the prologue to be more than 1,000 words, and I immediately warned them that that would cost extra since the price for a standard, 1000< fic would be $5/₱300 but they still wanted it so their total was now up to $110. 

I know that sounds like an absurd amount of money to charge a college student but mind you, they wanted at least 30,000 words spread throughout 5 chapters, excluding the prologue which was about 2,500, and they wanted it to be as descriptive as I can write it. And also, this was the cheapest I could go for such a lengthy piece, given the client’s situation and my time and expertise. Which means that I have to either rush out other commissions or tell those clients that their commission would be finished at a later date, both of which I didn’t want to do because if I rush a story, it’ll end up not being worth the money I was given. And I don’t want my clients to wait any longer than, say, a week for a 1,000 word fanfic. Fics of that length shouldn’t even take me a week, I finish those in like 1-3 days depending on how many commissions I have, or my personal situation.

Now, back to the absurd commission. I calculated the price right in front of him so there would be no further questions or complaints as to how the price was how it was, and I had them make a recording on my phone saying that they agree with the price, again another safety net for me should anything go wrong.

Now, since the price was a certainly beyond what he could’ve had as his lunch money at the time, I decided to make the mistake decision to let them pay half when I send them the WIP screenschot of the prologue and the rest when it’s done. That way, they’d have more than enough time to save up some of the money since it’d taken me 3 weeks to finish that. I also made him record himself on my phone saying that he agreed to this payment method.

Cue the day I send them the screenshot of the prologue (which was well over a week after the price agreement) and told them “alright, like in our agreement, we can meet up at school so you can pay half like we agreed, then I can finish the entire thing.” Lo and behold, they reply to me with “oh, I don’t have the money yet. It’s been a rough couple of weeks, I had to spend a bit of money to help with tuition and bills and stuff.”

Now, I get it: Life can be a surprising bitch and it’ll spring up awful situations when you least expect it, especially when you’re in college like we were. So, against my better judgement, I let them know that they can pay full price once I’m done, which they again agreed to. I have the screenshots but for my and this client’s privacy, I won’t post them here. (and because I’m too lazy to block the names out of the screenshots)

Well, 3 weeks later and the fanfic was finally done and out of my hair, I asked around the IT professors if the client was one of their students. Guess what? 

Turns out they fucking dropped out of the school one week prior. So I messaged them, politely and professionally, to remind them of the fic they commissioned and they had the fucking balls to say, and I quote:

“Can you just fucking leave me alone? That commission was a prank and you fucking fell for it, loser. Do you actually think that people want to pay for stories? Fuck, I can write the story myself and it would be 10 times better than the commission I had you make for me. Good luck with your failing business, bitch.”

After that, I just...I ripped that asshole a new one, saying that if they could make a better story, why commission for it, even if it was just a prank, bro? I said a lot more but I don’t want to remember that time. It was a bad time for me because it was so upsetting wasting precious time, energy and skill, only to be scammed out of an insane amount of money.

I already knew, even before I started my commissions, that fanfic commissions were gonna be a niche market since, y’know, people already don’t want to pay for a fucking “art piece that I could’ve made myself”, so I prepared myself for the backlash I’d get from outraged people who would complain about me being a “selfish bitch because you charge for a bunch of words on the internet”.

But to be burned this bad is just so upsetting. I literally cried in the bathroom that day because I just felt so stupid for making that one mistake of letting someone outside of my usual clientele circle to not only request a commission but not letting them pay upfront like I always do with other commissions.

Since then, I’ve never let a stranger commission me ever again because I was just so traumatized by it that I don’t want to feel that way again. I never want to feel stupid because I did something out of the kindness of my heart. I don’t wanna be made a fool simply for being nice to someone. 

This was a very long one because it’s such a personal story of mine that just really grinds my gears everytime I think about it.

To the people who do commissions of any kind, (whether it be art, adoptables, fanfiction, YCHs, or whatevs) NEVER BREAK YOUR BUSINESS MODELS LIKE I DID. Especially your payment conditions. I was stupid to do so, so please

Don’t repeat the same mistake that I did.

[that-quiet-girl-who-writes]

Tied Together with a Smile (RL.)

A/N: So I keep writing all of these sorta kinda sad fics where the reader has anxiety and I’m sorry if you don’t like them, but they’re making me feel better writing them... it think. That or they’re making it worse. Gif’s not mine.

Based off: Tied Together with a Smile by Taylor Swift-Taylor Swift

Pairing: Young!Remus x reader

Word Count: 1589

Warnings: Anxiety, swearing

Masterlist

This might sound cliché (and that would be because it is), but I honestly think that the sunset is one of the most beautiful, romantic things ever. Some of the best photos I’ve ever taken are of the sunset as seen from the astronomy tower, or the edge of the black lake. Some people don’t see it, but it’s different every time. Every single time. The clouds are different, making the light peak over them in the most unique ways. The shades and amount of colour is always different, special. I just love sunsets. I found them to be a way of relaxing. Sitting on the edge of the dock with my feet in the water and watching the sun sink into the horizon. It’s a way to calm myself, one of my go to things to do when I feel the anxiety coming on. But I do it alone. I sit alone, and watch the sunset with nobody else to talk to and I’m okay with that. Nobody needs to be audience to my anxiety or the things I do to calm myself down. I knew what I needed to do when it got bad and I was okay with being alone, in fact it was better if I was alone.

Hold on, baby, you're losing it

The water's high, you're jumping into it

And letting go... and no one knows

That you cry, but you don't tell anyone

That you might not be the golden one

And you're tied together with a smile

But you're coming undone

Being alone through all of this led to nobody really knowing that anything was that bad. My friends just thought I was quiet and shy. They didn’t know how my life went when I wasn't with them, how much shit went through my head. All these things that I would hate myself for thinking because I knew that none of them were true. Of course, I deserved love, of course I was smart, of course I could really do whatever I wanted if I put my mind to it, but that was only on good days. And those were starting to become less and less frequent.

I guess it's true that love was all you wanted

Cause you're giving it away like it's extra change

Hoping it will end up in his pocket

But he leaves you out like a penny in the rain

Oh, cause it's not his price to pay

Not his price to pay…

Nobody, especially not Remus, deserved to have to deal with me. He had his own problems to deal with, ones that were far worse than mine and if being honest with him meant giving him more things to worry about, then I would happily suffer in silence. Even after we started dating, I was in no way further inclined to tell him or anybody else. This was my problem and I wasn't going to let anybody else feel like they had to deal with it.

When I had my good days, I tried to spread the happiness as much as I possibly could. I wasn’t even really sure why. I just felt like if I was happy, I needed others to be as well, to make it all worth it I guess. Even when I was having a bad day, I put on a smile and dealt with it, because I could and I was thankful for that. One of my biggest fears was that this was all gonna get worse and that I would lose my ability to hide everything.

Hold on, baby, you're losing it

The water's high, you're jumping into it

And letting go... and no one knows

That you cry, but you don't tell anyone

That you might not be the golden one

And you're tied together with a smile

But you're coming undone

~Remus’s P.O.V.~

Remus noticed. Of course he noticed. He wasn’t stupid, he knew there was something more to his girlfriend’s behaviour than what she let on. It was a month or two into their relationship, he had watched her make excuses and leave a room the second anyone raised their voice or brought up any sort of embarrassing memory. He found her calendar had about ten thousand reminders, repeated over and over, while her class notes had the same things written randomly in the corner of every few pages. He felt her grip around his hand tighten in situations that only made everybody else a little uncomfortable. He watched her talk to people and found that she almost never made eye contact, only with him. She was always awake before him and he was always asleep before her, but for a while he just figured it was because the full moon had taken it’s toll on him. Now it was weeks before the next one and he was still waking up to her staring at the ceiling.

You're tied together with a smile

But you're coming undone... oh

Goodbye, baby

With a smile, baby, baby

It wasn’t until the day that Boggarts came up in defense against the dark arts that he (or anyone) really saw what she was afraid of. The second it was revealed what a Boggart was, Remus watched his girlfriend slowly inch her way to the back of the class so that she was less noticeable and therefore less likely to be picked for the demonstrations. Remus followed her to the back of the class.

~Y/N’s P.O.V.~

I wasn’t even sure what the hell was going to come out of that chest if I stepped up to it, but I didn’t want to find out. Remus followed me. Of course he did, he was so sweet and he cared about me, but right now I wanted to be alone. I didn’t want to talk about whatever shit was going through my head, it was mine to deal with and I would deal with it any way I like. But then he was right there in front of me. He didn’t ask me anything, he just held my hand and I don’t even know why, but it relaxed me.

When classes were over, Remus found me immediately and pulled me up to his dorm room.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” He asked as I sat down on the bed and took off my school cloak. I just shrugged in response. Remus sighed and sat down next to me. He took my hands and kissed my knuckles.

“Please tell me, I want to help you.”

“Rem, I don’t need help. I’m doing fine on my own.”

“I don’t doubt that your trying to feel better about whatever’s going on, but I miss you. You don’t look happy anymore and I hate seeing you like this. Please let me know, love.”

I took a deep breathe. I could tell Remus, right? Not everything, I wasn't ready for it, but I could say something. I knew it be far too overwhelming to talk about all of it, so I would just open up slowly.

“Okay. I have bad anxiety. Mostly social anxiety. Every once in awhile, I’d have these days where things that I do all the time, were just so hard to do and now… it’s just starting to feel like that everyday and I’m trying to do everything I can to relax and to try and make it easier, but everytime I walk into the great hall it’s like I just become stiff all of a sudden, like I can’t make a wrong move or it’s going to be the end and even though I know that’s not true, that’s how it feels. I can just feel it getting worse and I have no idea what to do because nobody’s ever told me how to actually deal with it. I mean I’m trying, but for the most part I’m just making stuff up as I go along and hoping that it makes me feel better, but sometimes it doesn’t. Maybe I’m not okay.” I hadn’t intended to say that much, but it seemed to have been a good thing that I did, because even though I could feel that tightness in my chest from talking about all of it, I could also feel this weight having been lifted from my shoulders.

“Why haven’t you told anyone?” Remus asked me.

“I don’t know. I guess I thought I could fix it on my own. That seems pretty stupid now.”

“No, it’s not. But you should know that I’m always right here to help you, okay? Don’t feel like it’s a burden, because you are anything, but that. I want you to be happy and it kills me that you’ve been going through this alone. Please, please tell me when you’re feeling like this, because I can help, okay?”

“Okay.”

True to his word, Remus tried his best to help. Honestly, I didn’t think it would do anything, but it did. Every time he saw even the slightest look of panic on my face, he took me somewhere else, he gave me chocolate, he stayed with me until I was okay. When it was really bad, he held me until the tears stopped. For the first time in a long time, it was easier to get out of bed. It wasn’t as hard to walk through the halls. I was okay now because I finally had something I didn’t know I needed; someone to watch the sunset with.

You're tied together with a smile

But you're coming undone...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Taglist (All stories): @purelittleblueberry @runs-with-sciss0rs @kapolisradomthoughts

Taglist (HP Fandom): @potterhead236

[ireallylovewritingtbh]

Headcanons on the three main squads

So in snk we know that there’s like three squads everybody keeps talking about and obviously they’re squad Levi squad mike and squad Hanji. Theres like 5 people in eavh squad and im bored so heres my ships in tjose squads and headcanons. Idc if u don’t like it you do you Ill do me

Small warning: indication/direct mention of sexy times and swearing

Gelgar x Henning -Gelgar has a lot of nightmares. They share a room and Henning always has to shake him to wake him up and and one night Henning was still asleep so Gelgar went ahead and got in his bed. Ever since then they just took it as normal and Gelgar hasn’t slept in his bed for months. -Henning takes care of Gelgar when he’s completely wreckedt lmao. One time Gelgar threw up on his shirt and Henning didn’t even flinch. He just took care of his drunk ass baby. -Everyone teased them but Henning didn’t really care at all. - They didn’t really start dating until a few weeks before the events of the god damned utgard castle. Gelgar kissed Henning in front of everyone they knew and instead of it being embarrassing they thought it was cute. -Henning cradles Gelgar when he gets injured. He comforts his wounded boyfriend and he’d sometimes stroke his boyfriend’s face and Gelgar wouldn’t do anything except lay there and listen to Henning hum or just talk.

Goggles × Moblit × Keiji -First thing is that you’d think they’d (Goggles and Keiji) be rough but they’re so gentle and loving towards Moblit. They give him small smooches here and there. -Moblit would have a lot of stress and Keiji and Goggles would be there to do whatever Moblit needed. One time he had an anxiety attack and Goggles and Keiji literally fought to have Moblit have a week off. They cried with him and laid him down and did all his work. -They tease him sometimes but they’re really interested and fascinated in his art. Sometimes Moblit draws flowers for them and they frame it. They are so proud. -They’re always touching in some way, either their legs are touching under a table or their elbows connect on top. Nifa laughs bc gay but little does she know how much they touch when she isn’t around *insert deg deg here* lmao. -Keiji and Goggles scold him for drinking so much. The amount he drinks went down when they got together because he had less stress. He still drinks and he’s responsible but they watch him everytime because MOBLIT UR LIVER BB STOP PLEASE

Eld × Auruo -Auruo told Eld he liked him then stomped away, blushing. Eld talked to him the day after AND guess tf what. It led to an argument. Auruo refused to say anymore than “I like you” and Eld was just fucking confused because he has no clue wtf Auruo is saying bc it was really late and now its really early and he has no idea wtf is going on and i s tgat jesus christ -Auruo just never talked about it until Eld finally understood what he was talking about. Eld brought it up and Auruo pulled him in for a kiss, which is what Eld was going to do. -They agreed on no PDA, they really just wanted a quiet, soft relationship. -Eld actually brought out the good in Auruo 💀. Auruo stopped wearing a cravat, he started to be nicer (slowly but surely), he gained a lot more respect from everyone too. Petra asked him what the deal was and that’s when he brought up his relationship. Petra was really supportive of that cute stuff 👌👌👌. -Auruo became more gentle and he did stupid couple things like give Eld more kisses, braid his hair and give him flowers and Eld loves it. They’re so soft and happy and they make eachother so happy. They’re in love dammit.

Nifa × Nanaba × Lynne -Alright so these three were talking at lunch and all of a sudden they looked at eachother and they felt a sudden sensation in their hearts “oh cheesesticks im in love” -One night Nanaba and Lynne busted into Nifas room and they all confessed and they fell asleep in eachothers arms -They felt pissed bc one of their gfs is in another squad and one day they just went with it and everything they did was made extra special bc of this. -They have a lot of yknowyknow just bc yknow. They aren’t necessarily public w their relationship. I mean they really only bring it up when other ppl mention it or smth. -Nanaba loves to play with both of her girlfriends hair. Lynne has cute braids with flowers and decorations and Nifa has wavy hair with gel and headbands.

Gunther x Petra -So one day Gunther just started hanging out with Petra more often. They got along pretty quick. I mean they did before but like now,,, they seem closer. -Petra subconsciously kissed Gunther on the forehead one day and Gunther blushed so hard he looked like his face was on fire. He brought it up and she immediately apologized and Gunther said “no its fine”. After a couple of moments they kiss. -They show a lot of PDA. Petra will kiss Gunther all over his face randomly and Gunther loves to hug and praise Petra. -Gunther has a lot of hickies all over his body and Petra likes to place them on places that other people can’t really see. Gunther likes that because its like their little secret. Another thing is that Gunther is taller than Petra by almost a foot and it can get a little weird in bed because they have to do it in weird positions in order to not squash eachother. They like to have their legs intertwine, though. Whatever makes them comfortable. -Another thing on sex; Petra likes it when Gunther traces her bare chest. *breathes in* shelikestofeelhistouchonsuchasensitivespot. AnoTHer thing bc why not is; Gunther prefers traditional sex and Petra likes to be teased, so Gunther does whatever to make Petra feel good. He likes what she likes.

[newt-grundy]

some rabble

Holy shit. I am being swarmed with thoughts and emotion right now, so I’m just gonna write it all out. First off, fuck, that flew by. It seems so unreal that I’m already leaving, and in a huge way I feel shame and regret for wasting my time. I can’t help but think I should have played with Holland more, or I should have drew with him, or read him books, or just did a lot more than just hang around, play video games and such. I mean, that’s not all we did, but still. That little bugger gave me a big long hug and it’ll be the last “big hug” I get from him for a long time coming. I have to remind myself how unconditionally he loves me and he probably doesn’t even feel a fraction of disappointment in me. Regardless I still feel like a shitty older brother and I want to cry, I’m literally holding back tears right now. That little bastard is the one person who makes me cry I fucking swear.

It seems so out of nowhere, like I basically just got back home and now fuck, I’m leaving. I wish I would have gotten more time with my friends and said so much more to them and made them feel loved. It’s so hard not to let Babylon just, instantly changed me and especially putting me back into my default Babylon mode. I can’t believe how much fucking time I wasted watching TV, playing video games, just scrolling that goddamn facebook wall. I fucking screens, I abhor them, it’s pretty much the main reason I left last time and a big reason right now. It’s a shame I don’t have better self control where I can just use my computer for only productive means. Instead it’s like, hours of youtube videos, hours of facebook, hours of pornography, then some writing. The entire time I was gone last I didn’t watch any porn at all and it was fucking awesome. It was great, I never had that shame or struggle or anything. I barely even masturbated and since I didn’t have porn or really the chance to even masturbate (or will) then I would just fucking, get laid, like how humans are supposed to do it.

Technologies goal, with social networking and such is to just replace all human needs of other humans with a more artificial stand in. We use porn for girls, facebook for friends. We watch groups of people hanging out (it’s most tv shows, just people hangin out) instead of spending time with others. A lot of young men now just forsake dating entirely. When you have so much porn whenever you want, you simpy nip sexual desire in the bud all the fucking time. God I hate it, I have to leave. I have to go so I wont even have the tempations of bablyon and in a way I’m just switching those temptations for others. Sure I’ll meet people, be more sociable, write and read, and barely look at screens but last time I left I ended up smoking meth so, it’s simply a matter of pick your poison.

But I feel this is right. I have no desire to get a job, or really any need if I’m home and my parents take care of everything. I have no future in Iowa and that’s pretty much darn guaranteed at this point with the mountain of slander that now surrounds my name. If I’m homeless and struggling for the basics than I’m forced to work hard and I’ll get the satisfaction that working hard entails. Ah fuck it I don’t want to explain all of it. I know what’s best and it’s not even about what’s “best”. I’m done with always trying to be healthy and stable. I’ve never been fucking stable, never really had much of a stable life, why try and force it? Why trim off the lows and tops and sort of dull myself out. Numb myself with tech, and get caught up in some job I don’t believe in and all that fucking bullshit , fuck it! I snap everytime and that surely isn’t healthy. Better to die with some tweaker smashing my head in, or the bull shootin me, or falling off a train than to die by my own hand, alone in an apartment for one with only friends around that I saw once a week if that. Don’t misinterpret I love my friends here it’s just, people don’t really need people when are those needs are met by money, and the strangers time that money buys. I crave intimacy, and it’s so goddamn hard to ever be intimate when there’s always a fucking screen on, of some stupid comical whatever. I feel it’s really hindered my relationship with my family and friends and I grew so close to people on the streets because we never had that. You spend days with someone, struggling to survive, hours just waiting around entertaining each other, you grow fucking close, and you grow quick.

I’m still just self-rationalizing. What’s really bothering me is missing my brothers and my friends and feeling like I don’t make anyone happy. That I don’t give enough love or enrich anyones life and If I don’t do that then surely it’s not a noble or fulfilling life to live. I’m always so fucking caught up in myself. The artist type with a million projects and always just strategizing and thinking how to make a song better, or a magic deck better, how to write this story, paint this ect. I turn real people into fictional subjects of them all, all their feelings and being simply relative to mine. Savannah once said I saw others as mere extensions of myself and I fear she’s right. I’m afraid I’m a legitimate narcissist that doesn’t really care or empathize with others. I habitually deny those who request my intimacy and then go give my love to some stranger who just dumps it out. I really haven’t learned. Still Chasing girls, getting high, writing songs. Same shit I’ve been doing for five years. Life is still horrifying and intense and wonderful and just fucking insane all the time.

I mean, I’ve gotten better I think. Despite the whole abbie/jesse fiasco I think most people that actually know me think I’m an alright guy. They would probably say I’m nice and kind and helpful, I’m so fucking anxious about it and I do take action to try and be all those things. Give my time to others. I’m always thinking when I’m talking to someone “now don’t just respond with how that relates to you, ask a question, get to know them, let them talk about themselves, it’s not about you” ya know? Like someone says

“hey I have a pet rock”

And I want to say “oh yeah I had a pet rock my rocks name was yaddie yadda and I got it on whever and shit”

But instead I say, “oh that’s cool, what’s your pet rocks name? where did you get him?”

Ya know? But the problem with this is I want people to be fucking interested in me. I want to show everyone all my songs and artworks and have them see me as I see me. Because if I’m being honest I feel like I’m a fucking special person. Here comes the fucking ego, sorry, but like, how could you be good at something but be unaware of it? How can you make good art without understanding what good art is, and thus making the intention of making “good” art? Because I feel like I’m one of the best goddamn artist, on any account, that I’ve even met, and I strive to be so. I put in effort fucking all the time, every day, for hours, I obsess over the stories I write, rack my head over painting, plan, illustrate, strategize.

I mean, its like magic the gathering. The best magic players are who gives the game the most thought, who thinks the most about how they make their deck, essentially. I’m pretty good at magic, because I spend embarrassing amounts of time thinking about it. I’ll be up at five am just pacing and chain smoking and thinking about what cards to switch with what. I watch several series on magic, I watch judges explain rules, I research cards all the fucking time. And because I put all this work in, I’m good at magic.

And so, I do the same fucking thing with any art that I’m working on. I research heavily on what music to download then lay there on my back in the dark, giving the entire album my full attention in one setting, carefully studying what the music is, how they made it, all the parts and how they interact, ect. I put in this effort with any of my artworks and I put in mass amounts of time into constructing my own songs, and I have no shortage of inspiration because I have fucking insane feelings all the time, like I fall in love with everyone and hate people and hate systems, and love stupid little things and am always tying ot figure out how everything and everyone works, and I understand style and how to obscure and contort ideas into a voice and blah blah blah. Point is, I’m good, ok, arts subjective yeah whatever, with anything, the more effort you put in, the better the result, but like, the thing is,

No one gives a fuck. Because everyone is doing the same exact thing, the world is over saturated with twenty three year olds makes sad songs about their past girlfriend, and writing poems about being confused and painting girls and making magic decks, and essentially just complaining all the time, and they all want everyone else to see and acknowledge but everyones so focused on themselves that they can’t really take it in. When I listen to any music it always just comes back to me, how it makes me feel, what aspects of the music can I glean to then use in my own. A big reason I even enjoy art is because it motivates me to do my own. I’ve stopped listening to albums half way through multiple times just so I can go practice because I’m like ‘fuck this shit is good, I need to do better!”

I’m certainly rambling, god this is a ramble, one I wont even bear through to read but this is one of my last chances to use this computer to type out some shit so that’s what I’m doing. It’s five am, my brothers are getting up, reading up to leave with my grandparents on vacation, I’m glad I get to say goodbye again. I can hear Holland getting up he’s so cute in the morning. He rubs his eyes in that cliché way where he uses his entire fist like what?

It’s gonna be ok. I’m going to have fun, and feel great feelings and the road will be scary and terrible, I’ll be uncomfortable and in pain, maybe contract some more diseases, get some more holes in my teeth, fuck up my spine. But I’ll also witness miracles, meet incredible people and show love to them. I’ll help feed them when they are really hungry, I’ll take drugs with them, play games, talk laugh, open up. I’ll play my songs, and they will play theirs, we’ll settle drama and rabble, some of us will fuck, some of us will fight. I’ll never know what’s going to happen and I’ll become spiritual, put my trust in the road, manifest. I’ll have to psyche myself up to do illegal dangerous things. I’ll show off infront of girls I find attractive, compete with fellow men, I’ll be humbled when I’m defeated and uplifted by others who praise me. I’ll be alone and bored, hiking along the road, or waiting for a ride, or just staring up into space as I’m laying in my bag, too cold and anxious to sleep and my mind will just be turning over and over again and maybe something will come of it. But I always sleep, days are too exhausting to not, and I’ll wake up and do it all again, with no real end or goal other than what I’m wanting that day, I’ll change my mind constantly too, always excited and always disappointed, happy and sad and at least I’ll be fucking alive and feel like I’m living alive. If I die young I die happy and if I’m 80 and still homeless with nothing I won’t regret because my life was full adventure and excitement. I had brothers I fought along side with and I fell in love with women and confided in them and held them and tried to make them feel safe. I was nice to dogs and talked to them, didn’t hurt bugs for the fuck of it, not even spiders. I tried to learn and listen and grow. I stuck to my guns, didn’t give up guitar, didin’t stop trying to force my artistic perspective everywhere. I was an entertainer, I was open, made people laugh, usually a good person to go to if you were bothered and wanted to talk about it. It’s everything I’ve already done, just gonna keep doing it over and over, try and reach as many people, be a part of as much as the world I can. Then die, and soon after be forgotten, but hey that’s how it works. Could be a lot worse, and anything in retrospect really wasn’t all that bad.

[tadomiku]

I am so fucking ready for Lance moping around in chapter 8 because oh my god this isn't happening we hold hands and stared at each other and got lost into each other eyes and he held me and I held him and he is way out of my league have you seen him Pidge ? Like for real ? Because I have and he is even better looking up close and this should not be allowed especially when you have a mullet ? And don't get me started on his character and everything that makes him Keith because my heart won't be able to keep up ! At all ! I need ice cream hunk give it back ! I would like to see this happen in the next chapters or just having some Lance's thoughts about this and his feelings that are growing because oblivious Keith is oblivious (but he's still cute and interesting of course !) I love your writing, I hadn't read fanfictions for a while (maybe something like a year) but when I saw the prompt for the marks we make I just binged read all your fics !! They are so good I love it !!!!! You're writing is just like I like it, full of dialogues and with a good amount of descriptions but not too much, just to get the visual through and build the background and I love it. Okay tmwm is so amazing it inspired to write a fic with some soulmate au ! I love it and I can't wait for the next chapter, I want to know how Keith will react around Lance and how he will react if Lance shows off the Galaxy ! I'm pretty sure Keith won't draw anything on his skin for a while, poor baby is shocked !! And Lance is too much proud of his SM, tho I would be too so I can't blame him ! It's best he doesn't know Keith is his soulmate I think, he won't notice anything anyway, he's so stupidly blind !! And suadwm is just breathtaking. I love low build and just the feel of the fic, the characters, Lance's moping around, the fucking chat is amazing I can't help but laugh loudly everytime I see it ! It's so fun and good to read, I love it. For real, there's nothing bad about it. Ah maybe the whole blushing thing, why ? Is it because none of their blood goes to their dock so the blood creeps up on their upper body ? I fear for their lives, their heart won't hold for a long time at this rate ! And the otm is just soft and fucking upsetting because why can't they realize already what they feel !! why you gotta hurt yourselves like that my Babies ! But the end is so soft I had a toothache ! It was really in character, I could totally see it happen in canon ! And the other companions watching them ? Brilliant ! The moment Keith just goes fuck everything, I'm gonna take this gamble and bam Lance is the one who's putting the kiss in action and fujoshi allura gives me life. And everyone just rolling with their relationship right away gives me life ! Oh and non binary pidge is life, as a non binary myself I quite appreciate it !! And how everyone just rolls with the pronouns is magical ! Thank you ! (I can't use neutral pronouns in France so I'm happy ^^) And the dance descriptions are on point !! Oh and I crave klance dancing in high heels as a stupid bet ! (if you don't write I'm gonna write it anyway xD) (if you don't mind that I write a fanfic of your fanfic of course) Well so just to make it clear, I love you and your fics and the artwork ! Oh sorra your arts are precious and beautifull and I love them very much !!!! I wish you both happiness and a clear skin and money ! Kisses~

[t-shrt]

100 q tag

no one wud read it but ima do it anyways cos fun tag by @dubblebubble

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? more cereal than milk cos i love tht crunchy crunch

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? LOVE

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? receipts, pen lol

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? coffee=basic latte/hot tea, no sugar

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? sometimes, not too often tho

6: do you keep plants? no but i want to but ill be terrible at it so no

7: do you name your plants?

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? digital art

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? yes very it keeps me sane

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? side/back, back esp nowadays

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? lots lol

12: what’s your favorite planet? earth? hahahah it used to be jupiter cos i loved sailor jupiter as a child

13: what’s something that made you smile today? friend + nct + fics

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? two separate bedrooms, a balcony, good amount of plants, separate fridge for alcohol, sizeable kitchen

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! it rains diamonds in jupiter and saturn $$$$

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? bolognese hahahaha im boring

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? i just dyed my hair a darker ash brown n i quite like it ive been light for awhile

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. one came 2 mind cos we both recently talked ab it, a longtime close friend of mine n i used to have the biggest fight where he threw me a pair of scissors n i threw him a basketball in retaliation lmfaooo it still became a running joke more than a decade later...

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? not really...prolly shud

20: what’s your favorite eye color? i actually like brown hahah, maybe a slightly lighter shade of brown

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. it was a gift from my parents, a simple small messenger bag with a lot of slots, brought it with me literally everywhere, during my hookups, my night outs, been stained with questionable things (its been cleaned lol!).... almost lost it in a club only to be found by a friend... it has foundation stains tho lol

22: are you a morning person? n o

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? sleep, listen to music, watch stuff, not reply to messages

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? no

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? nothing rly comes to mind but im p sure ive been somewhere like tht lol

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? LOL my adidas superstars

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? ermm the red colored ones?

28: sunrise or sunset? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm very good question

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? hmm what comes to mind is the way both of us sometimes exchange goodnight msgs w nct farm emojis heheeh

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? lol ofc....

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. unfortunately im rly basic on socks, u wud most likely find me wearing black ankle socks or black ballet(?) socks nothing more nothing less.......

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. a lot has happened usually during that time lol. duno which story to pick honestly hahahah. i think a memorable one might be when we were drinking n played games and we talked and talked and joked n nek min one by one we fell asleep in the same room hahah... im sure there are other stories tht might be more eventful but fr the life of me my memorys fuzzy rn lol

33: what’s your fave pastry? i love strawberry shortcakes! or mille crepes

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? i kept a LOT hahah. prolly named a few, but nothing was too special. i think it rly reflected how i managed my relationships then, n evn yrs aftwds, like i ws always lonely n my instincts were to gain quantity cos deep down i cudnt trust ppl n cudnt get too committed lololol

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? i wish i was cos sometimes ppl wud make pretty colorful notes, but i usually just buy ones tht i wud use cos practicality.

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? mmmmm is it cheating if i say nct cos they cover a range of genres lmao. but their ballads i guess yeah.

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i mean i prefer to keep it clean, but its always really messy HAHAHA ;_;

38: tell us about your pet peeves! 1. someone rude 2. someone who doesnt know how to respect others’ boundaries 3. someone self-entitled n takes themselves 2 seriously

39: what color do you wear the most? black on black on black on black baby

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? an evangelion ring, its the black (lilith) moon with lcl gem in it, to me i guess symbolizes my struggle with human relations, n how eva as an anime illustrated tht n the fantasy of having everyone’s consciousness merged into one--n the fact that lilith in itself (in astrology) signifies the darker side of a human being? i guess n the fact that evn if u acknowledge ur darker side u cud still use it to further urself

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? hmmmm i guess last was a self help book, unfuck your boundaries, helped me support my need to strengthen my boundaries

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! little rogue :) its in a small alleyway, a little quaint shop, easy to miss... small potted plants, with an amaaazing matcha latte

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? siiigh a guy i was involved with lmfao i cut him off tho

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? hmmmmm good question i guess lately ive been very thankful tht i could feel comfortable taking my own time and space, n accepting the positive energy others wn give 2 me. being single really, really does help evn tho id feel lonely sometimes, bc the only weight i carry is the weight of my own soul n i wn learn how to nourish that

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? very i think

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. i have a lot HAHAHA if u were a friend of mine ud prolly get tired of them. a genuinely bad one wud be haha youre so punny lmfao

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? nothing rly lmao if theyre healthy n someone derives happiness frm it i wudnt want it to be banned

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? probably not lol, i mean i think i retained similar fears since i ws a kid but now obviously my biggest fear(s) would be more...specific to me

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? its the digital age baby spotify ftw (in all srsness i wish i collected vinyls tho hh)

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? i used to collect ramune bottles lmaoooo

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? hmmmm nah lets not do this right now lol

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? LOL too many but i love shitpost quality memes tbh

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? pulp fiction. i actually loved it, i think i still do, its entertainment value is kickass, havent taken the time to dissect it in any other way

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? oh man i think it ws the dude i ws seeing lmao fk him

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? a lot, n most of them im not proud of, cos some involves self harm

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? kindness n genuineness, someone’s courage in being vulnerable

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? dont feel like it rn but everytime i do 10/10 will dramatically reenact the lyrics right to the guitar riffs

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? im definitely the wine (aunt) lmfaooo im already one tbh 

59: what’s your favorite myth? Eros + Psyche, Icarus and the sun

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? i love poetry hahah...cant think of any rn

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? id love any gift given 2 me as long as they wont harm me or anything lmao n i dont think ive evr given anything too stupid. well.. idk if this is stupid tho like i sent flowers thanking my ex for ‘helping me live’ well aft we’ve blocked each other off cos the end to the relo was js daaamn toxic lmao

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? nope

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? music i do spotify n im pretty particular ab organizing my playlists i guess. my books im alright with as long as theyre just stacked properly no problem

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? prolly rly dark blue cos its 12 am

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? a lot tbh cos ive rly been focusing on stuff internally

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? daisies, sunflowers, n baby breath here n there

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? somber i guess maybe a tad bit nostalgic?

68: what’s winter like where you live? heeella cold not cos of the temperature itself but the winds thooo, if it drizzles evn in the slightest it feels like needles piercing through ur bones literally

69: what are your favorite board games? i like the game of life, ummm cards against humanity?

70: have you ever used a ouija board? no n never will lol

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? the fruity kinds

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yea def lol

73: what are some of your worst habits? disappearing from people when i feel strong emotions

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. they’re small but they’re so full of love, full of life, full of strength, and full of care for others, they’re the type of person who will seek their goals till the end despite obstacles and still be able to not lose their warm heart on the way. they put so much thought and care to every aspect of their life even when in the past they have been handed some bad things, and i adore them for that.

75: tell us about your pets! none :( wish i have a cat though

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? hahahhaah

77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink!

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? neither sometimes i think theyre weird sometimes cute sometimes weirdly cute lmao

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? write up 24 things they love about me to stop me from hating myself

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white. no but if i had to id say white anyways lol cos its a blank canvas

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. i dunno uhhhh her rounded eyes which seemed to at first glance, harbor plenty of wonder seemed to be weighted by many untold secrets, the traces of which could be found when she erupts into laughter where the wonder would manifest itself in the form of small stars in the dark of her eyes.

82: are/were you good in school? meh. i try

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? weirdly i like cigarette after sex’s one cos its so simple yet telling

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? planning on getting an evangelion one, another heart one, a sunflower one, and prolly a ghibli related one

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? manga? naruto 4evr LOL

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? hmmm thinkin of dpr live’s IAOT

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? lord of the rings, harry potter, one of ghibli movies lol

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? i think impressionism is very cool evn tho i dont do it myself

89: are you close to your parents? eeeeee

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Melbourne is a wonderful city where many things could coexist in one--happiness and sadness, camaraderie and loneliness, hot and cold, quiet and full of life, productive and relaxed, bursting with unfocused energy yet incredibly organized, and for many reasons it’s become one of my favorite cities, and definitely my favorite to live in.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? no plans tbh lol maybe home?.......japan? heheheh nahhh

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? it depends lol mostly i guess drowns my pasta in cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? i always wear it down, either straight or wavy

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? a friend of mine

95: what are your plans for this weekend? stay in most likely, do stuff

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? 100% procrastinate lmaoooo

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? ISTG, jkjk INFP, leo sun aquarius moon cancer rising, ravenclaw

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? im alws meh ab hiking tbh lmao 

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Long Slow Distance - NCT 127, Four - Sleeping At Last, idontwannabeyouanymore - Billie Eilish, Stop This Train - John Mayer, Digital Lover - Crush

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years into the past so she’d stop focusing her life around anybody else but herself

[drunkenough2write]

Sober at 8:58 am

Ive started to numb everything out, push everyone else thats left away. I havent talked to Kaylee in about two months, or the guys in a few days, ive been avoiding anish and Molly and you and i obviously havent talk in a while. I had a moment yesterday i was doing ...something... and i started thinking about you, i let that numb thing go for a minute and i just kept saying “i love you Michael” over and over and i dont know what im doing. i dont know if i want you because im bored with him or because youre the one im supposed to spend the rest of my life with. i dont know if you and i are good for eachother or if we just romanicize the fuck out of eachother to the point weve tricked our minds into believing that we belong together, i dont know if those late nights spent in your arms, or those car rides with our fingers intertwined and the windows down meant nothing or meant everything. ive spent endless hours closing my eyes just so that i can picture your face, i have a hundred pictures of you i cant convince myself to delete. Everything makes me think of you, music and movies and people on social media, i think about what youd do when im scream singing in my car, windows down and crazy hair and music i havent listened too since middleschool, i think about you standing behind me in the shower and laying next to me in bed, i think about you shooting me looks across the isles of grocery stores and gas stations, i think about you picking at your nails and the warts on your fingers while i drive and roll my eyes at you, i think about you when i get high, how you get so paranoid, how you get a look in your eye like youre all alone and the worlds a stimulation trying to break you down and invade your inner thoughts and you look at me and i wonder if you trust me and i just want to wrap you in my arms and kiss your face and let you know that i got you no matter what. I dream about you, your long hair and jaw line, lanky body and strong arms, i dream about you walking in and the rest of the world falling away, you being all that i see and all that i know and nothing else in the world mattering even the smallest bit. Im scared Bugs, im scared of losing you, im scared of losing me, im scared that he will come back and i will pick him and one day ill wake up from yet another Michael dream and think “what the fuck am i doing?” but be so deep into it that theres nothing i can do, and im scared ill pick him and one day he will stop picking me and im scared that i cant love anyone. I spent years being the girl a guy could love, i perfected it, manipulated every boy i met into becoming obsessed with me, tricking their minds to the point i was all they thought about and i never got caught, i played boy after boy perfecting my actions and it worked. Ramon was so invested i didnt even notice, all his friends knew about me, he told them he was falling in love with me and all i thought about at the time was how he had a weird sex face and it didnt feel serious, then there was London, the boy who flirted with me in highschool and told me i was going to marry him and then years later told me i was ugly in highschool, so i convinced him nobody could understand him like i did, i let him be a douche bag, and make every possible stupid mistake he could and told him that he was amazing regardless, i supported all of  his dreams even though i thought they were dumb and far far out of reach all while entertaining others. At the same time i was sleeping with two frat guys in different frats that hated eachother and i made them both believe they were the hottest guys id ever seen and the best lays any girl could have all the while one looked like hed never stepped outside and was not packin and the other had a nice body but a jew nose and lasted like 4 minutes everytime, and they both faded out eventually. Then i reconnected with Reese and unfortunately he had been in the game longer and saw past the face i put on, he reached into my heart and plucked at the parts he knew would give him a safe place and i fell for it. i became his escape from home and work, he would come over at 3 am after work and slip into my bed and play his music and we’d fall asleep and id wake in the morning and leave for class and come back to him leaving, There was one night i was convinced he had real feelings for me. he was hanging with preston and their friend ethan who had moved out of state and came to visit, Preston went to ASU and lived in dorms near mine. They went to a strip club and then got super drunk and went back to prestons room, Reese called me and let me know he was still coming over at about midnight and Preston stole his phone saying he wouldnt make it and i just laughed at them and said id be up for a while if he changed his mind, even though i was so tired i couldve slept for an unholy amount of hours. i got a few snapchats from his snap that preston took of reese’s head in the toilet and figured he wouldnt be coming over, but i stayed up for a little while and then i got a call at 5 am he slurred his words trying to tell me he was coming and that he was lost but escaped Prestons room, Preston and ethan eventually found him and got on the phone trying to figure out where i lived, i told them and came out to meet them, Sophmore year of highschool i had a class with both Reese and Preston but i dont think either of them knew i had existed at the time. when i walked out they all looked at me and Reese looked so sad, red eyes and tears on his cheeks, he almost tripped over his own feet into my arms, i hugged him and looked back at his friends, they told me to take care of him, i smiled and took him back to my room. i put his stuff in the closet and helped him change and he followed me into bed, his arms around me (something he never did) and he cried, told me i was all he cared about, said all these things and passed out and for the first time since meeting him i felt like he wanted me for me, but i was wrong, i was a safe spot, a hidden island where he could get away from the rest of the world and eventually he met someone else. then on new years i got a snapchat from kaylees younger sister asking if it would be okay if she gave my snap to her cousin ransom whom i had only met a few times, i said sure and his first snap said he was gonna make me his. i laughed, i liked when guys were forward, unfortunately that was one of the only things i liked about him, over the next month i played with him, careful not to break him entirely, he tried to get me to take his virginity and him being the mormon cousin to my childhood mormon best friend i knew i couldnt and then one day i got a snap from some guy i met on tinder, his name was Alex Decker, he hyped me up on snap all the time and i was on shrooms so i responded, asked why he was always nice to me he said “why not?” we talked a little and eventually i invited him over we hung with my friends, i got free tickets to a suns game and we all went and we took our first selfie and i didnt pull my tricks, because he wasnt like every other guy that walked my way and stuck their tongue down my throat after talking to me for 15 minutes we hung out probably 7 times before he kissed me, i had convinced myself he was gay or just not interested and let down my gaurd, we were watching Game of Thrones, the Episode where you learn about Horridor and the reason behind his name, and i started crying and he made a joke and i punched his arm out of sadness and he kissed me, it moved pretty fast after that, he asked me to be his girlfriend on Valentines day, 12:04 am - we decided to say it was the 13th instead, didnt want to be cheesy, he brought me roses the next day and we dated for a while, i pushed and pulled every day, pushed him away only to ask him to come back hours later, i was a bad girlfriend, a bad friend, and when i ended things i was more scared of losing his family then him. I went to California for spring break and he spent the night before i left and he found my stash on notebooks and read everything, went through my poetry books and found which ones i dedicated to other boys and other loves and he went crazy, he read every secret and every lie and he told me living in my head was the worst place to live and he sent me pictures of everything that made him mad and he spent 9 hours in my room going through everything and i was so angry i redownloaded tinder, figuring id end things when i got home and then came Remmington. When i got back to Arizona we threw a party at my house and a bunch of people came over, he had written me a letter and got so drunk he let Colden read it to the room, it was horrible, i got obnoxiously drunk and ended up blacking out and then passing out on the bathroom floor and Alex took care of me all night. i was going to therapy at the time and one day on the day before my therapy day i had a huge art project due and had to pull an all nighter after pulling one the night before and he told me he would stay over and help me and we would take shifts and he’d shade stuff while i slept and id do whatever else i needed to do and i said that that was fine, when it was my turn to sleep i fell fast asleep and woke up to him sitting next to me on the bed crying, confused i got up and hugged him and he started rambling about how he couldnt do it and just losing his shit, he wasnt making any sense so i got him water and made him lay down and once he fell asleep i got up and did the rest of my project until 10 am the next day i went to class and then alex gave me a ride to therapy and picked me up after, he took me to my favorite restaurant in arizona and then we went to the batting cages and a few days later i ended things and he still stuck around for a while, even while i was talking to remmington, then i found out about the STD stuff and remington made me feel like trash and got a bunch of his friends to bag on me too. after that i dropped everyone, i didnt care, i took londons virginity and i didnt care about anything else and Molly and i started hanging out more and more and then one day i drove past the gilbert temple and parked in front of a house across the street from the mormon church and a lanky boy in a white sweatshirt and a dad hat hopped in the car with molly and i and i was a total bitch to him until we stopped to eat and he said his dad worked on heavy equipment and molly got distracted and i thought this boy was 20 and he was 17 and my heart swooned. that was the day i met you. You surprised the hell out of me. everytime i talked to you all the games and tricks and all the bullshit id been using stopped existing and i had butterflies and lost words and a smile i couldnt get rid of. and boy was it a whirlwind. and the world started and ended and spiraled and now we are here. wheres here? i have no fucking idea. all i know is that i want someone to see me, see my crazy and my annoying and my insecurities and see everything good and bad and love me, and for the past year ive met 3 boys that do and in my luck ive found so much heartache and so much dissapointment. because M i dont deserve any of you and if i could cut myself in half and give all my love to each of you i would, but i cant. and what do i do when you wake up and realize i was only worth the chase? what happens when its finally us and im not everything you figured i would be? and life isnt everything you thought it would be with me? what then?

[wolfish-trickster]

It'll all heal in the end

Part 2 of ?

Warning: bullying, salt

Alya couldn't believe her luck. She worked on an article for Ladyblog the whole night, fell asleep around 4 am and she still didn't finish the art project.

Thank god she had such a good friend like Lila by her side. The italian promised she would finish it, since she had free evening, because Jagged Stone canceled the recording for her new song. Lila was pure angel in Alya's eyes. Always helping others achieving their dream by introducing them to famous people, working with a lot of charity events, raising money for poor children in Africa...

Alya was a bit sad though. Marinette was usually the one she called her bestie, but ever since Lila showed up, she started to act differently. Then, when Lila said, she was Ladybug's bff and she could actually do an interview or two for Ladyblog, Alya felt like she's going to explode from the amount of happiness coursing through her veins. But Marinette yelled at her. She called her liar. Alya couldn't believe it. She knew Marinette liked Adrien and was jealous of Lila spending time with him, but she never Imagined her blue-haired friend will act this way.

After few days, things got worse. Marinette stole answers for a big test they had. Alya was so shocked when Marinette instead of admitting stealing it, she started to scream at Lila. Poor girl got even pushed down the stairs on their way to principal's office. Marinette was expelled of course. Alya helped Lila with her bag all week, because she hurt her leg on stairs. When Mari finally came back to school she was meaner then ever.

First, Marinette called her liar everytime she opened her mouth, then she was trying to find some sort of proof about Lila's adventures being lies and came up with absurd stories. Lila then came to Alya's crying, because Marinette was texting her mean things.

This has gone too far. Alya started to see how Marinette really was like. The nice girl thing? Probably a charade to fool her. But no! This was enough. From then on Alya Cesaire called someone else her bestie. And it wasn't Marinette.

As days went by, Marinette's bullying got worse. Once she walked to locker room chatting with Nino and then, they saw it. Lila standing opposite of Marinette infront on Lila's locker. Marinette was holding a spray can and Lila was sobbing.

"What happened here?"

"S-she was... I don't know w-what got into her. I was j-just trying to be n-nice... A-a-and then she did THIS" sobbed Lila as she stepped away from her locker. BITCH was spelled on it. Painted in big thick letters by black spray can, currently resting in Marinette's palm.

"I didn't do anything! I just came here, cought her spraying it there herself and when she noticed me, she threw me that spray right as you guys walked in! She's lying like always! Please Alya, believe me." Marinette pleaded.

Alya couldn't bealieve that girl. Accusing Lila of something like that?

"Look girl, I'll be honest with you... I don't want be your friend anymore. I love you and all but, you've changed. Lila was trying to be your friend and you treat her like a piece of nothing. I don't want to be a friend of a bully. Either you apologize to Lila and both of you can start over or consider our friendship ended."

Those words hurt coming out of her mouth, but someone had to say it. Marinette was mean to a new kid for no reason and Alya was going to be the one to fix it! The look of shock and betrayal in Mari's eyes was so real Alya almost believed her. But no, she won't be fooled by her "nice girl" trope anymore.

Then Marinette said something Alya nor Nino or Lila never saw coming: "I won't " and then, she left. Alya nearly colapsed if it wasn't for Nino to catch her. Lila started to apologize for ruining her friendship and she begged for forgivness. Alya had nothing to forgive her. It wasn't her fault Marinette was mean.

The spray can accident happened almost month ago. Since then, the whole class started to defend Lila and show Marinette what it feels like to be bullied. Eventually Marinette stopped talking to them. No one wanted to hang out with her anymore. Even though Alya sat next to her everyday she was pretending she didn't. Alya started to fill her blog with interviews of Lila and her amazing adventures.

As she finally finished her last piece, she quickly posted it on Ladyblog and rushed to school. She mer her boyfriend on the way.

"Sup girl, you ready?"

"For what?" asked Alya confused.

"For the art project presentation. Mine and Adrien's is going to be so awesome! We did it on the very first halloween!" It was pretty funny seing Nino dressed as Joker waving his hands around and gesticulating about weird halloween facts, that Alya culdn't maintain her poker face.

"Alright I got it! But we won't make it to school on time mr. J if you won't shut up for few minutes. We have to hurry!"

Seeing Joker and Harley Quinn running to high school might have been the strangest thing this morning, but Lila was far too busy she didn't even notice them calling her name.

"Hi there Lila! Why are you not dressed? You promised to go as Catwoman!" said Nino a bit dissapointed.

"Yeah girl, with you and Adrien as Batman we surely will win for the best group mask! By the way, have you finished the project?" asked Alya.

She could already see the tears welling up in her green eyes.

"I'm so sorry! I had it here by the stairs. I left to my locker for duct tape to add few details and when I came back, I spotted Marinette pouring coffee on it!"

"She did WHAT?!" shouted the duo startling Lila a bit.

"I though she had given up after loseng all of her friends... I didn't think she would continue with bullying me for no reason!" sobbed Lila.

Nino and Alya looked at each other. None of them knew how to react to it.

Then finally Nino spoke up: "That wasn't so cool from dudette. How about the both of you present the project with us? I bet Adrien won't mind."

That made Lila smile like a child on Christmas eve. "You would seriously do it for us? You're such a sweetheart Nino! Thank you. And again, I'm so sorry for the whole accident Alya."

"Nevermind Lila. It wasn't your fault. Besides it's only one project. It's going to be alright. I heard from my puddin' over here their project is so cool, that everyone will be blown away by its awesomness" said Alay in best Harley Quinn voice she could do.

That made Lila giggle, but Nino wasn't so happy about Alya's antics.

"Why so serious, mr. J?" Lila teased Nino.

Both of the villainy duo burst out laughing.

"Hey guys! Great costumes! Haven't you seen Marc by any chance?" asked Nathaniel in his Evilustraitor-turned-hero costume.

"Sorry dude! We just got here. Check that door maybe." shouted Nino at him.

"Never mind. See you both in class!"

The three of them slowly made their way to class chatting along the way.

"Why don't you sit with me today instead. We could discuss details about the project with boys and stuff" but discussing stuff around some stupid art project wasn't the only reason Aly insisted on Lila sitting besides her. She really started to despise Marinette. She thought losing all of her friends would make her realize her mistake and she'd apologize and evrything will be back to the way it was before.

Well, she was wrong about one thing though. Marinette didn't lose all of her friends. And Alya realized it pretty quickly when she saw her former bestie walking to class with Nathaniel close behind her.

Alya wanted to scream at her for being such a bitch to Lila, but she kept her mouth shut. She won't give her the pleasure. So she glared at her instead. And she kept it while she walked all the way back to Nathaniel's desk.

He's going to realize he made grave mistake by trusting a bully.