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heartsofminds · 2 years ago

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and at every table, i’ll save you a seat - part i

“Well, apparently Baby Goose’s been losing his mind ‘round the base about how this really smart and sweet girl invited him to a wedding and won’t text him about it.” or you invite Bradley to a wedding but your big fat crush on him won’t let you actually. . .invite him.

“and at every table, i’ll save you a seat” - tunes of the gossipy Hard Deck patrons and liking someone so much you feel like you can’t breathe

A/N: hey guys!!! so in the midst of writing this, i realized how long it actually is and how many dividers i had on my google doc? anyway, i thought it would probably work out so much better if it was released in parts rather than just one, big, fat, HUGEEEE piece that would probs crash on mobile. listen along to the playlist (that will be updated with each writing update) and relish in overly flirtatious bradley with me! which btw, he’s the lover album personified with a dash of red and a hint of fearless!

“I’m not asking him.”

Phoenix rolls her eyes before she takes a sip from her Ultra. The thought of it tasting revolting because of its lukewarmness crosses her mind despite her head pounding unceremoniously. She almost speaks up to answer you, but closes her mouth.

She softly places the bottle back down on the counter instead.

She can’t quite tell if the pain in her temples is from the sound of excited chatter all around her, the sound of Mickey, Javy, and Bob shittily singing Go Your Own Way on the karaoke machine in the corner, or the sound of your blue glitter gel pen scratching away at the scrap paper you have by the register; frantically carrying decimals for tip calculation and pathetically adding and subtracting since Penny’s “older than dirt” cash register bit the dust an hour prior.

She almost concludes that the pounding ache working its way to the forefront of her brain is because of your absolute and utter refusal to do the simple and the obvious. But wait.

I haven’t eaten at all today. Yeah, that’s it.

A deep breath fills her lungs before she exhales. Her elbows find themselves on the lip of the bar top and her forearms come up to rest her head on her hands. She notices that the scribbling stops from what she assumes is you looking at her.

An uncomfortable beat passes which is unusual for you two. There’s always some sly remark made or interminable giggling filling the gaps of silence.

You pop your hip on the corner of the table. Your magenta tank top was far too bright of a pink to be welcome in the warm-hued bar. Your bracelet screams “graduation gift” and you can feel the oil on your face contorting your makeup as your time in the muggy air passes.

Out of place is always in your thoughts but doesn’t become an insecurity until you’re left alone with them. The absence of Phoenix’s voice makes this fact more obvious to you.

“You good? Not gonna hurl all over the place?” you cautiously ask, “Because it’s fine if you gotta puke, but I’ll murder you if you make me clean it up.”

Natasha lets out something short of a laugh but too informal to be considered a huff. “I’m fine,” she says, leaning her head into her hand and adjusting herself in her seat.

You nod, returning to your scribbling when the man sitting next to her hands his card to you. “You know, if you write any harder, you might permanently etch,” she pauses, leaning over to get a peek at what you had just written, “ten dollars and eighty-three cents into the counter.”

“Maybe it’ll convince Penny that a new cash register is a need and not a luxury.”

Natasha scoffs. “Could say the same about your plus one, but hey, if you don’t want my advice, then certainly don’t take it.”

You hand the gentleman back his card with a smile and a small “thank you” before returning your attention back to Natasha. She digs her teeth subtly into the plush of her bottom lip.

“I already told you. I’m not asking him.”

She groans, pushing herself to stand up from her seat. Even dressed in civilian clothes, she looks like she belongs. Her aura demands respect; even in a lacy wine-colored top that Hangman had tried to tease her about earlier when the brood of rowdy pilots had first arrived.

“Well, you said no to Jake.”

“You say it like he would be willing to say yes.”

“You said no to Rueben.”

“He’s in a situationship with that girl from my spin class. Going with me to a wedding and her seeing the pics on Instagram would just make shit weird,” you start scrubbing at the permanent water stain near the beer taps anxiously, “Especially when I set them up.”

Natasha rolls her eyes again. She swears that by the end of the night, she’ll know exactly what the inside of her eyelids look like.

“Whatever,” she huffs, “You said no to Javy and Bob.”

“Javy would rub the fact that I asked in Jake’s face and they’ll start a pissing contest on how to woo me…and Bob,” you look around to make sure no one who knows you all is within earshot, “He’s sweet. Like, sooo sweet.”

Natasha tries not to crack a smile before you get your words out, but she certainly knows where the tail end of your sentence is going. “But it’s definitely not believable that we would be together and my aunt is one hell of an FBI agent and I’m sure he’d crack and rat us out and I’d have to sit there and eat my weight in tiramisu to drown my embarrassment.”

Business is painfully slow for a Thursday evening despite the upcoming weekend. Your eyes dart around the room to look for anyone to come and rescue you from this conversation (and even volunteer to be your date to your bitchy cousin’s wedding next weekend without you asking, but you know to only hope for one miracle at a time). And when your eyes turn up empty for an ample opportunity, your shoulders droop while Natasha snickers at you.

“Cut your losses and just ask him. I know he won’t say no,” she says, coy smirk at home on her face.

“No. Absolutely not.”

“What is so wrong with him that you don’t wanna do it? Huh?”

You ponder on her statement before shaking your head. You’d rather be shot in the foot with a nail gun eight times than expose your silly little schoolgirl crush in the middle of the Hard Deck in front of his best friend turned your best friend since moving to the area five months ago.

“Why not Neil or Brigham? Or hell, even Mickey? I know he’s like, engaged, but Mariella is so freakin’ sweet and I know she’d understand so like-”

“Mmm-mmm. No, no, and hell no.” Your frown plasters itself on your lips faster than you can comprehend at her words. “Rooster or bust.”

Your spine straightens as you begin to engage in protest before you’re cut off by the man himself.

“Rooster or bust, what?” he asks, lips coming out to lick the dryness of the San Diego sun away. Your knees start to buckle and you can hear Natasha stifle a laugh as you try to conceal your lack of balance.

He stands in front of you, hand on his hips and sunglasses tucked on the tight, white tank top underneath his button-down shirt. Today’s print was red with cream-colored hibiscus flowers and you wonder how he could pull them off so well. If it were anyone else, you would have had to try your hardest to keep it together with Natasha in front of you; the jokes about touristy dads and low-budget porn actors in the works.

You realize he’s waiting for an answer as you see Natasha getting called away to sing karaoke with Javy and the gang out of the corner of your eye.

Great. Just fucking great.

“Taking bets on who the best pilot is or?” Bradley speaks, trying to get to the bottom of the small fragment of the conversation he had walked into.

“I-,” you stammer.

Fuck. Can someone just come to the bar and order so I can avoid this?

“You?” he looks at you through his eyebrows comically. Everything he does makes you nervous.

“I-,” the lines in his forehead raise with the infliction of your voice, “I need a favor. Like a big one.”

“Okay,” he laughs, “How big are we talking?”

“Umm-”

“Like ‘giving you my other kidney’ big or letting you borrow my car big?” he interrupts.

“Well-”

“Or do you need me to house sit? Dogsit? Babysit?”

You inhale as you place your hands on the countertop. Your eyes find his honeyed-colored ones and you almost drown in them before your pride kicks in.

I cannot embarrass myself in front of him.

“I need you to come to a wedding,” you speak gently. You can see the wheels turning in his head without him having to say anything. Bradley’s face always gave his thoughts away.

“If you don’t have plans, of course.”

The realization of what you had just said starts to kick you upside the head the longer you look at him. He doesn’t say anything. His face doesn’t move at all. You’re pretty sure he hasn’t even blinked yet.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!

“And if you’re comfortable! Obviously!” you start to ramble before you can convince yourself to shut the hell up, “It’s next Saturday in Long Beach near the seaside. You don’t have to say yes or anything but I just thought I’d ask because I had a plus one when I had a boyfriend eight months ago and now-”

“I’ll go.”

“-we’re not together anymore and my bitchy cousin is the one getting married who, by the way, makes everything a competition but that’s beside the point. But I know my mom is gonna be pissed if I don’t bring someone because my aunt is her sister and she’ll bitch about how they wasted money and how my mom is running out of time to become a grandma because I’m not married yet and that’s totally not true because I’m not even thirty so my biological clock hasn’t even started ticking yet but -”

“Hey!” he raises his voice slightly, amusement hidden in his tone, “I said I’d go with ya, kid.” He steps forward to put his hands on your bare shoulders. You try not to melt into his touch.

“S’all good. I love weddings and the beach. Promise it’s not a hassle.”

You’re dumbfounded by his response and how collected he is about your word vomit, not to mention being invited to a wedding where he’ll meet not only your parents, but your entire extended family in a little over a week. You know for certain you wouldn’t have handled the situation as calmly as he had.

“You - you’ll…go?” The sound of Britney Spears’s “Toxic” and Jake absolutely murdering the high notes in the back of the bar is the only thing keeping you from spiraling into another dimension.

“Well, I’m not a liar,” he sits down on the seat Phoenix was previously occupying, “I don’t just say things I don’t mean.”

Your head nods solemnly in silent understanding, your hands grabbing a glass to pour him a whiskey on the rocks. He raises his eyebrows in suspicion at you knowing what his usual drink is, but throws away the thought to comment on it before it can even develop all the way. The subtle pang in his chest of you taking that much notice of him makes itself known. He would be lying if he was to say he didn’t hold a brightly lit candle for you.

You’re a regular, Bradshaw. Get your head out of your ass.

“To be honest,” you start, placing the chilled glass in front of him, “that sounds a lot like something a liar would say.”

He gives you a soft smile as he reaches into his back pocket to grab his wallet. “Well good thing that I’m not one then, right?”

Your heart flutters in nervousness and with about as much grace as a stampede of elephants. You’re positive that Bradley can see the outline of it beating out of your chest.

“No, no, no. Your drink is on the house.”

He shakes his head, forcing the twenty dollar bill that lays in between his fingers next to the scrap paper you have laying near the register. “No, I insist.”

“No, I insist. It’s on me, Bradley.”

He cracks a soft smile as he forces the money into your hand. His fingers wrap yours around the beat-up bill that has definitely seen better days. “That just won’t do ma’am.”

“I”m awaiting Bar results, not living in a shoebox on I-405. I assure you that two dollars and sixty cents won’t break the bank.”

The loud scrapping of a bar stool against the hardwood floor (which will probably leave a noticeable scratch in the hardwood flooring that Penny will pretend not be upset about) interrupts the cocoon of the world that existed with just you and him. Just you and Bradley…and Jake Seresin’s loud ass mouth yelling, “Bradshaw! What the hell, man? Get your ass over here and sing some Journey with me!” across the bar.

He shakes his head in disbelief and if you didn’t know any better (didn’t feed into your delusions, is more like it) you would almost think that he was…disappointed? That he didn’t want to leave you and that he was almost as desperate as you to give each other attention; eyes fully and ears solely attuned to the other.

Hoots and hollers and the sound of his call sign being screamed from his rowdy group of friends make the delusion hard to manage, and the reality finally kicks in that he’s not here for you. He’s here for them.

You wish you weren’t so good at hurting your own feelings sometimes.

“Your spotlight awaits you,” you sigh, trying not to show how dejected you felt to him.

A beat of silence passes before he slides his palms on the front of his jeans.

“Here.” He snatches your blue glitter gel pen off the table, his tongue poking out of the side of his mouth as he begins to write. “Text me the details?”

He offers a slight smile that makes your words catch in your throat; the butterflies dinging around in your stomach begging you to reach out and touch him. To lean forward. To say something. To do something. Anything.

But before you can he’s zipped across the bar and the sound of Call Me by Blondie inflates the room. You look down at the cerulean ink with specks of shimmer in it.

xxx-xxx-xxxx Call me, kid! Bradley B

You’re definitely not gonna call him anytime soon…

“Sweetheart, I love you, but if you dry those glasses one more time I think I’ll have a brain aneurysm.”

Penny snatches the dish towel from your hands as your mouth gapes in silent protest. She throws it lazily on the countertop and snags the crate of beer glasses that you were going to town on away from you. The clinging sound of the dishes makes your head droop with disappointment.

“I wasn’t done yet! They still feel slippery! ”you complain and she just teasingly shakes her head.

“So?”

She winks at you and you have to find it in your heart not to be a little annoyed at her for cutting your task off mid-attempt.

Perfectionism fuels your life and she knows this. She knows that you’re using the glasses to stress clean. She knows that your cousin’s wedding weekend starts on Friday and you’re fighting the urge to tear your hair out. She also knows that you have Bradley’s phone number on a slip of paper that’s burning a hole through your nightstand because you still haven’t called him.

“So?” you ask, lightly mimicking Penny’s statement, “Someone’s gonna drop the glass because they’ve never learned how to hold it the right way and then there’s gonna be glass shards everywhere and they’ll get hurt and-”

“You are such a worry wart, my dear. Reeelaaax,” she interrupts, placing her warm, nimble fingers on your shoulders.

The subtle sunburn you had gotten this past weekend is slowly starting to calm down, but the initial sting still startles you. She can see the small happenings of a frown starting to form on your lips and she decides to frown along with you. She spins you to face her and holds your forearms in her hands, offering them a gentle squeeze of encouragement.

It’s not a secret that Penny Benjamin takes pride in knowing her staff well and loving them even better. In the five months she’s gotten to know you, she’s taken you in as one of her own without making her love for you about her. That was kind of her thing; knowing all without having to be told and giving so selflessly without having to ask if you were in need.

Penny just got it, and it’s hard to find people like that nowadays; people who love you genuinely and truly expecting nothing in return.

The thought of her warmness makes you sniffle, and you’re sure that if the jukebox wasn’t turned on and playing some Beach Boys tune, the tears would’ve made their way down your face at a speed that Formula One drivers would envy.

“I know what it feels like to have your every movement judged and not being able to say anything to defend yourself,” she starts, “But you’re smart. You’re kind. You’re so important. And you’re nothing less than amazing, so don’t let anyone treat you like you aren’t.”

You can’t muster up the words to keep the conversation alive. You’re sure that all that would come out of your mouth is a blubbering mess you don’t feel like trying to force out in between choked sobs. Besides, the car doors closing in the parking lot alert you both to the Wednesday night crowd making their way in.

You settle for a small “thank you” before she cracks another smile at you; lips quirked up in amusement. She saunters off to the back to grab the bucket of prepped lime wedges.

“You never have to thank me for the words you deserve, sweetheart. Those are on the house.”

You snort before wiping your nose with the back of your hand. Only she could manage to subdue the mini meltdown brewing in the depths of your chest. But Penny was just like that.

Always calm, cool, and collected.

The night moves slowly in a frame-by-frame manner (one that emulates the night you asked Bradley to be your date, but you shake the thought whenever it tries to enter your head because you think you may actually puke). It’s nothing too out of the ordinary for a Wednesday night.

Mickey and Mariella pop in for mango margaritas after their weekly date night. Mickey gives you a small “hello” before flashing you a knowing smirk. You try to ignore Mariella swatting at his chest, but the imagery eats you up inside. You know that he knows and that she knows, and not taking the steps to actually ask Bradley to a wedding you invited him to makes you feel guilty.

He picks up on your guilt when his eyes catch you twisting your ring around your pointer finger. His eyes soften and he almost considers apologizing to you before he thinks about it. Bringing more attention to it would embarrass you more, he figures. The apology sitting on his tongue is swallowed down with a sip of his drink and Mariella’s kick to his shin.

“Well, we’re about to head out. We’ll see you Friday?” Mickey declares as Mariella narrows her dark eyes at him.

Your heart stops and your fingers feel numb.

Fuck. He wants to bring up Bradley. What do I say? Fuck. Shit. Wait. How does he even know? Has Bradley brought me up? Fuck, wait. He wouldn’t do that. Why would he even be talking about me? He probably told them that I’m obsessed with him and he was cornered and couldn’t say no and-

“Uh? Are you good?” Mickey looks at you with soft eyes and waves his hand in front of your face.

Mariella slaps it down from in front of you. “Don’t do that. She’s not a fucking dog, Mick.”

He rolls his eyes playfully. “Duh. I know that. I just wanted to make sure she wasn’t having a seizure or anything like that.”

“A seizure?”

“They’re called absence seizures. Went down a whole YouTube rabbit hole about them a couple of nights ago.”

You chuckle at their antics and can’t wait for the day they finally have their wedding. At least when the time comes you know you won’t have to forge a story about having a boyfriend. And it’ll be a wedding filled with people you actually like; ones that don’t make you order water out of feeling insecure about how many calories you’re consuming or ones that gossip about the shade of blush you wore making you look too “flushed” behind your back.

“I go down rabbit holes all the time,” you chide, “I watched this documentary about the Pentagon Papers and the atomic bomb from World War II the other day, and now I’m confident I could get my Ph.D. in like, Historical American Screw-Ups.”

Mickey and Mariella let out chortles at your statement before starting to head toward the exit.

“Well, we’ll see you later then. Tell us about that wedding on Monday?”

Your mouth hangs open as they stride out the front doors of Hard Deck. The shock of what just happened makes your heart beat erratically.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! He told.

Mike Metcalf sits at the corner of the bar top on his regular stool with his sweating glass housing a whiskey neat. He sends you a teasing smirk as you move near him to wipe the countertop down.

“Still haven’t texted him?” he asks.

The shock continues to run through your body. You have to place your hands on the edge of the table to keep yourself from stumbling over.

Why does everyone in this bar know what’s going on?

Admiral Metcalf was friendly with you - one of those regulars who offer you engaging conversation, tidbits of grandfatherly affection, and generous tips.

You would tell him not to tip you so much for a single drink, but he would always insist; quoting something along the lines of you reminding him of his granddaughter and that you treated everyone with such kindness and respect that you deserved it back tenfold.

You take a deep breath, arms pushing you up slowly to stand upright. “I’m scared to ask how you know.”

He chuckles, a real belly laugh, and you struggle to find out why you can’t piece together a logical explanation for how he would know.

“Well, apparently Baby Goose’s been losing his mind ‘round the base about how this really smart and sweet girl invited him to a wedding and won’t text him about it.” He shrugs before taking a long drink from his glass. “Thought it sounded like you. I meant to ask about it the other night, but once you turn eighty you forget things at the drop of a hat.”

“Smart and sweet?” you want to ask, but you know that it would confirm rather than get you the answers that you want. You shake your head to dislodge the thought before furrowing your eyebrows.

“. . . Baby Goose?”

The older man plays with the paper coaster underneath his drink. A soft smile blooms on his lips. “We’re talking about Bradley Bradshaw. Correct?”

You start to drum your fingers against the lip of the bar top. The thought of lying briefly crosses your mind until the sound of James Brown’s shriek at the beginning of “I Got You (I Feel Good)” startles you.

“Uhh, hello? You still there, kiddo?”

I have got to get better at answering quicker.

You straighten your spine and pop your hand on your hip. “Wouldn’t the correct terminology be ‘gosling’?”

He raises his brows, “Rooster. Baby Goose. Bradshaw. Gosling,” he rattles off, counting the phrases on his fingers, “Does any of this ring a bell?”

You chew on your lip. The toe of your sneaker slides underneath the sole of your other one. The fidgeting tells Admiral Metcalf all he needs to know.

“Maybe,” you say under your breath.

“Maybe?” he questions. He leans forward to investigate your expression with his eyes.

Another sigh exits your lips. “Okay, well, maybe a little.”

You sound defeated, he thinks. He decides to investigate even though he can hear his wife’s voice in his head telling him not to. If he turns his head just a little bit to the right, his hearing aid catches the sound of the jukebox. He can’t focus on you talking and his wife’s voice if he also hears the jukebox.

Sorry, Carrie.

His chair swivels a little bit and he wipes his hands on his jeans. “It’s certainly more than a little, kiddo. Especially if you asked him to a wedding.”

You scoff, annoyance painting the inside of your brain. Nosiness is one thing you absolutely cannot stand, and it’s the reason why you insisted on not moving back in with your mom after law school. Working yourself to the bone to study for the Bar during the day while mixing drinks and popping caps off of beer bottles at night seemed worlds better than having your privacy invaded constantly. Tired or private. From where you stand currently, it’s safe to say you picked the latter.

Or so you thought.

“So is this just a thing?” You can feel your heart rate speed up as you start to become defensive. “Like, a trend where all you Hard Deck patrons like to gossip and spread rumors?”

“It’s not a rumor if it’s true.”

You almost roll your eyes but the politeness you were raised with paired with your people-pleasing won’t let you.

“Yeah, but it’s technically gossip if you didn’t hear it from me,” you state directly, “How do you even talk to all these people on the base? Aren’t you retired?”

Admiral Metcalf chuckles. “I may be in bed by 8 every night but it doesn’t mean I’m not social, my dear.”

“Okay, but why would your connections be talking to you about Gosling?” You lean on your forearms and glance at the cash register to make sure someone isn’t waiting to be served. Your eyes glance back to the older gentleman sat in front of you. “Aren’t you guys like. . .fifteen generations removed from each other?”

He gently pats your arm with his calloused palm. “You’re a funny girl.”

“You’re dodging my question,” you frown, sitting up straight and grabbing him his usual glass of water he drinks before he decides to go home.

He mouths a quick “thank you” before taking a sip. “Did it ever occur to you that I was a pilot?”

The wheels in your brain start turning to decipher why he would say that and how it would mean that he and Bradley know each other.

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“And a Top Gun instructor.”

“Okay. . .?” You’re starting to get the hint now, but it still just seems like a lot of abstract events put together.

“I taught Maverick and Goose.”

Penny’s “boyfriend, not-boyfriend” who comes in to pick her up or hang out on days when the crowd is as dead as a cemetery. Maverick.

But who’s -

“Goose?” you ask, finishing your question out loud.

“Bradley’s father.”

And shit. Oh shit. Fucking shit!

“I- You- Wait-” you stammer. He simply sips on his water, amusement painted on his features at the signs of your internal panic.

“So that’s how I know. I keep in touch with Maverick and he just happened to mention the absolute mess Rooster’s been the past couple days about this wedding,” he declares, “Which, by the way, is kind of rude to invite someone and then not go into detail about it. Don’t you think?”

Your mouth opens and closes in shock, the magnitude of your recent revelation being endorsed by the silence coming from you.

Your brain can’t even begin to wrap around all the degrees of separation and acquaintances and friendships Bradley has from the bombshell of information that was just dropped on you. This place is just littered with people who probably knew him before he was Rooster; all puppy fat and awkward haircuts. You bet there’s probably a series of his prom and high school graduation photos that circulated from eye to eye.

But this also means that if you go through with it, that if you actually bring him with you to Long Beach this weekend, you’ll become part of that essence of knowing - everyone knowing what Bradley told them and your entire weekend spent with him being a topic of discussion.

You try to get over the dehumanizing feeling that will come with being called “Hard Deck Girl” after this weekend when he inevitably tells Maverick about his weekend who will then tell Iceman who will probably tell Admiral Metcalf. You can’t bear to think about all the snickers and teasing that will come from Bradley’s group of friends.

Hangman loves to tease you already. You don’t think you’ll survive more “pigtail pulling” if word gets out about Bradley having to hold your hand and awkwardly slow dance with you on Saturday.

Admiral Metcalf lets out an impressive-sounding whistle that catches your attention and brings you back to Earth.

“That’s one gorgeous Bronco,” he comments, head turned to look outside the windows of the bar. “Used to have one just like it years ago.”

Your eyes follow his gaze to see the cobalt blue vehicle parked in one of the empty spaces of the parking lot. The headlights fade as the owner steps out of the vehicle and -

Fuck!

He has a soft bounce in his strut. His Raybans are tucked into the collar of his white t-shirt. The light-wash denim of his jeans hugs his legs just the right way. His slightly rosy cheeks and tanned forearms bulging from his shirt make him unmistakable.

Bradley Bradshaw is about to walk into the bar. On a Wednesday night. While the crowd is drier than the Mojave.

And there’s nowhere for you to run.

He has a slightly faster pace set to his walk than he usually does. . . Not like you spend your time watching him walk (even though you do, and you’d rather roll over and die than admit that to anyone).

“Good luck getting him back on that perch,” Admiral Metcalf speaks up. He opens his worn leather wallet and fishes out a fifty-dollar bill. “He won’t fly back up there once he gets off.”

You follow him to the cash register to ring him up. The drawer is opened and the bills counted for his change before he stops you.

“Keep it. Part of your tip,” he says, “Least I can do for all the trouble I’ve caused you tonight.”

You begin to thank him before the saloon-style doors open and Bradley stands dead in the center, hands on his hips and eyes grazing the surroundings.

“Good luck, kiddo. I’m sure I’ll hear all about it,” Admiral Metcalf says before turning on his heel. He claps Bradley on the shoulder as a brief greeting and continues his stride outside to the parking lot.

Your heart starts beating in your chest erratically; a tell-tale sign of white hot panic that makes your knees buckle and heat grow on your scalp.

And you’re. . . starting to sweat?

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

Bradley spots you while you stand paralyzed at the cash register. Your fingers are shaky and a lump in your throat starts to form. You feel like a deer in headlights when he begins to stalk forward to approach you.

“I’ve gotta bone to pick with you, missy,” his voice booms, his steps coming to a halt.

His hands spread and turn as he leans on the table; eyes locked on your face.

Your adrenaline kicks in and your feet start to move faster than your brain. A harsh swallow plagues your throat before you book it to the kitchen; french braid slinging heavy on your back and the bucket of lime wedges on your mind.

Bradley zips around the oval-shaped bar top and grabs your waist before you make it out of the opening. His hands squeeze your sides softly. If you were in your right frame of mind, your cheeks would have flushed.

“Uh-uh,” he says, whipping you around to face him. His grip falls to your forearms; holding you firmly but not enough to hurt. “What’s your deal, kid?”

His breaths are exasperated. When he left work today, he had no idea that he would be chasing you around the bar like a goddamn dog who had gotten off its leash. Despite being in good shape (which he takes pride in, given the number of shirtless runs he does in his neighborhood) he still finds himself a little winded.

Your eyes are almost bulging out of your head. His touch feels electric and you feign the ability to even think about opening your mouth to respond. Bradley Bradshaw is here, right in front of you, and almost holding you hostage.

Hostage is dramatic, you think. But so is chasing me.

“I-” you start. Another harsh swallow forces its way down your throat. At this point, you think that swallowing your spit is the only way you can remind your body to breathe.

Bradley’s eyes soften at your frazzled state. He takes his hands off of you and drops them back to his sides.

“I- I need to get the lime wedge bucket,” you rush out, the entire sentence sounding like one phrase.

“Let me come with you,” he says.

Your eyes widen in surprise. “You’re not allowed back there.”

“Yeah well, you’re not allowed to ghost me about a wedding you invited me to, but look where we are,” he counters back. His legs start toward the kitchen hidden behind gray steel doors near the back.

You stand frozen; trying to catch your breath and looking around to still see an empty bar with no signs of life.

“Are you coming or not?” he calls out, a smile on his face juxtaposed to the annoyed expression he wore a few minutes ago when he caught you.

And if it were anyone else, you would be utterly annoyed. You would refuse and start rattling off how it’s a health code violation for patrons to be in the back serving area or how it was inappropriate or how you didn’t want anyone to come in and clean out the Hard Deck while you were distracted.

But because it’s Bradley and because you have this stupid big fat school girl crush on him, you don’t say anything even though you so badly want to.

He’s already a little annoyed with me, you think. He doesn’t want to hear me ramble on top of that.

Your sneakered feet follow him into the terracotta quarry-tiled kitchen in the back. He moves to the side to allow you to step in front of him in pursuit of the infamous lime wedge bucket you had your heart set on.

The silence between the two of you is deafening, but you can’t even rub two of your brain cells together to form a coherent sentence that won’t leave you hunched over in embarrassment. Having a crush as an adult is downright embarrassing. But having a crush as an adult on an older, more refined adult is absolutely humiliating.

The industrial refrigerator stands sleek and tall. The door weighs as heavy as it looks and you damn near pull your shoulder out of socket every time you attempt to open it. More than often, Penny has to come save you and open it because you can never seem to get the resistance of the rubber door gasket to give way.

Thankfully, the door opens with a heavy tug and the bucket of limes was left on a shelf you could reach. You pop the fridge door closed with your hip before you start a fast-paced walk back to the bar; leaving Bradley behind to scramble up to you once again.

In hindsight, your body language and lack of talking makes you seem furious and annoyed. And maybe you are, but it’s mostly frustration and annoyance pointed at yourself because you can’t just be fucking normal.

No, because you have to be the odd one out of your family. You have to be the one cousin who got dumped by her “perfect” dentist boyfriend (who treated you terribly, but you never complained aloud to your family for your fear of being called ungrateful and unbecoming). You have to be awkward and sensitive and young with a silly-ass schoolgirl crush on a gorgeous man who David of Michelangelo envies.

The bucket of lime wedges is slammed on the counter before you realize what your hands are doing.

Bradley rounds in front of the cash register, a sheepish look on his face. “Hey, kid,” he whispers, “I’m sorry for barging in on you like that. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

A wave of guilt breaks the tide in your brain. He’s apologizing, and it’s sincere. It’s certainly not anything you’re used to. Usually, everything is your fault and you find yourself pushing your feelings aside to accept a half-assed apology.

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have invited you to something that’s such a big deal and then refused the details,” you say.

And you should stop there, you know, but you do that stupid thing you do about having to over-explain everything and keep going. Word vomit to the maximum.

“I mean, I think I kind of bombarded you about it? I know you said that you would go and that you didn’t mind, but it’s really a lot to ask of someone to come with you and fill in for your ex in front of your shitty family who has a cow because you didn’t get married right after undergrad.”

You rock back and forth on your heels and you pinch your fingers together to help soothe yourself. The anxiousness exuding off of you is obvious and Bradley can’t help but feel extremely guilty for making you feel horrible on top of what feelings you were already dealing with.

“You can really say no, Bradley. My feelings won’t be hurt if you do. Honest,” you whisper, finishing your statement.

Feeling small isn’t foreign to you in the slightest.

His eyes soften even more. He recognizes the doubt written all over you. He’s felt that way so many times before.

“I said what I meant, and I really wanna go to that wedding with you. Honest to God, I mean it,” he says, taking a seat on a stool nearby. “I just need to know what the plan is so I can pick you up and everything. Don’t want my suit to clash with your dress now, do we?”

A small giggle leaves your lips. “Alright, Casanova. You’ve convinced me.”

He extends his hand out to you. “Deal?” The large palm looks inviting, but you’re sure the adrenaline coursing through your veins has made your hands clammy.

Your brows knit together and your lips pull themselves into a straight line. “What the hell are you doing?” Suddenly, you’re self-conscious about the potential armpit stains that may have soaked your tank top.

Goddamn nerves.

He contorts his expression into one of faux offense. “Making you shake on it. What the fuck does it look like?”

You let out a breath through your nose. “I mean, exactly that, but don’t you think that’s too. . .”

“Sophisticated? Formal?” He grins as if he had just won the lottery.

“Little Rascals -esque.”

Bradley kisses his teeth before laughing. “You’re never too old to relish in the magic that’s The Little Rascals.”

“What happens if I don’t shake?” you question, fingers drawing circles on the surface near the cash register, “Will I be a target of the He-Man Woman Haters Club?”

“Unfortunately, I can’t confirm but I can deny only if you shake on it and promise me a dance.”

You shake your head before he finishes his sentence.

“I’m a terrible dancer.”

“Then I’ll make sure my dress shoes are steel-toe,” he reasons, shrugging his broad shoulders. His biceps subtly flex and you almost bite your lip but the fact that he’s so close and can see your expression makes you withhold.

“You really wanna go still?”

“How many times do I have to say yes, kid? I want to go with you and I promise you that we’ll have the best time ever. Is that clear enough?”

Penny waltzes back in before you can answer. Her eyes hold a mischievous glint as they look at the interaction going on between you and Bradley. She sends you a soft wink before she joins you behind the bar.

“Bradley!” she greets with a grin, coming to come rest next to you and in front of his seat.

“Hey, Pen. Mav taking you out on the bike today?”

She subtly bumps your hip with hers. She’s about to stir up some trouble.

“No, no,” she sighs, “I have to close up here tonight so we’re going this weekend.”

Bradley nods as you stand frozen next to her.

“Speaking of weekends,” she chirps, “What are your plans, Bradley?”

I love Penny. I love Penny. I love Penny. If I say it enough, I won’t wanna kill her.

“Oh, the kid and I were planning on going to her cousin’s wedding in Long Beach. We were actually just talking about it,” he answers as Penny lets out a dramatic sigh.

“Oh thank God. The suspense of if she was actually gonna talk to you about it was killing us.”

“Us?” you ask, voice filled with irritation and concern.

“Me, Pete, Tom, Mike,” Penny lists, “Jake and Rueben started a money pool. Guess Hangman’s a hundred and twenty dollars richer now.”

You groan and pinch your nose between your fingers as Penny takes your shoulders into her palms and rubs them. She picks up a crate of shot glasses before turning to leave.

“Bradley?” she calls, and his ears perk up.

“Yes, ma’am?”

“Stay out of my kitchen,” her eyes narrow playfully, “That’s a health code violation.”

He holds his hands up with a grin. “You got it.”

“You kids have fun this weekend. Gonna have to take tons of pictures and show them to me!” she exclaims before disappearing behind the same steel doors Bradley had followed you into earlier.

A beat of silence passes; partly because you’re so stunned by what had just occurred.

“So,” he clears his throat, “Now that I know you’re old enough to have watched The Little Rascals, what’s the plan? Like is this an overnight thing or a reception thing or?”

You perk up at his question.

“Oh, umm.” You subconsciously pick at your cuticles before forcing yourself to stop. Your mom and aunt would be disappointed to see them ripped to shreds. “So I kinda - well, it’s an overnight thing but we definitely don’t have to stay overnight.”

He nods his head, ears intently listening to what you’re saying. You think he’s nodding his head to queue up a firm decline to your plans despite his insistence on going with you.

“I mean, you don’t have to! You can like, drive home and come back the next day? Or not go to the rehearsal dinner and just meet me at the wedding? I just know that sleeping in the same room is gonna be weird and I think my room reservation only has one bed because like I said, I had a boyfriend whenever they booked it and I never changed it after we broke up and-”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” he interrupts your word vomit, “Breathe, kid. Breathe.”

You take a deep inhale in and you want to kick yourself for doing it at his request.

Are you just gonna do whatever Bradley tells you to do, or do we actually have a fucking mind of our own?

“Why would I leave you hanging like that? Huh?” He licks his lips subtly and you have to keep from drooling. “You asked me to come with you and I’m gonna go the whole time and have a blast.”

You nod your head. Your thoughts and emotions have been bouncing off the wall in a vapid fashion from the two hours you’ve been clocked in.

“Okay,” you whisper shakily.

“Okay,” a laugh jumps from his throat and he leans in closer. “Can I get your number, at least? So I can call you instead and make it easier?”

You’re reaching beneath the bar and grabbing aimlessly at the mason jar full of random gel pens and a roll of open receipt paper that was too short to be put inside the machine but too long to be thrown away.

Lime green glitter ink spells out your phone number on the stark white paper before you wordlessly slide it over to rest near Bradley’s fingertips.

He sends you a smile before pulling out his phone and typing the number into the keypad. You have to look away because if you don’t, you’re sure you’ll start hyperventilating.

Your cell phone buzzes in your back pocket once, twice, thrice.

“Are you…calling me?” you ask, head tilting to the side to meet his mischievous glint.

“Context clues, kid. C’mon,” he replies. He holds his phone to his ear as he listens to the dial tone.

You stand in disbelief in front of him.

He shoos you with his hands. “Go on! Answer!” he urges.

You sigh and playfully roll your eyes before slinging your phone out of your back pocket. You click the green phone icon on your screen before bringing it to your ear.

“Hello?”

“Alright, missy. What’s the address I’m picking you up from Friday afternoon?”

Bradley Bradshaw may not be your boyfriend and probably will never be, but he sure knows how to play the part well enough to fool your family. He may even have you fooled too.

“Shit!” you yelp. Your upper body tenses up and you slam your curling iron on the countertop of your bathroom sink.

The strong vibrations of your phone ringing move your device closer to the edge. You scramble to pick it up and bring it to your ear. You didn’t bother looking at the caller ID before answering. Odds are, it’s either your mother or your only cousin that you can actually stand, Hallie.

“Fuck,” you whisper before clearing your throat, “Hello?”

You flash your neck in the mirror, fingers dancing around the irritated baby pink skin surrounding the already darkening magenta wound. The skin feels hot to the touch and you know that its placement makes it look more like a hickey than anything. Your mind starts to wonder if putting makeup on it would be a bad decision.

“Hey, kid.”

Fuck. Bradley. It’s Bradley. I forgot about Bradley!

“I’m outside.” You take a deep swallow that you pray he can’t hear over the phone. “You said the house with the purple hydrangeas near the front steps. Right?”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Am I this fucking stupid that I can’t even think of another word to use right now?

The long pause doesn’t make Bradley hang up.

“Kid? You okay in there?” The sound of a car door slamming can be heard through the receiver. You listen to the Carlsons down the street mowing their lawn. A few dogs are barking and the sound of Bradley’s shoes hitting the pavement plays a symphony with the bliss of what is a Friday afternoon at 2 PM encapsulates.

His knuckles rap against your front door and you audibly gasp. Your finger hangs up the phone before sprinting to let him in. The flutters in your stomach make you feel like you might projectile vomit any second. No amount of pep talks you had given yourself in the past two days can prepare you for the events of this weekend; not to mention Bradley and your big fat crush on him being the cherry on top.

You swing the door open; a shocked Bradley staring at you and a frenzied heart damn near beating out of your chest.

“I’m not ready yet!” you exclaim, turning your back and rushing back into your bathroom. You move so swiftly that you don’t even notice the bouquet of flowers clutched in his right hand.

Fuck! The curling iron is still on.

Bradley lets out a laugh. “Well, hello to you too.”

You pick the iron back up and finish curling the piece of hair you had started on before being interrupted.

“Sorry!” you shout back, “Give me five and I’ll be ready to go.”

Bradley lets out a puff of air he didn’t know he had been holding in. If someone had asked him a month ago where he thought he would be spending a Friday afternoon in mid-March, he probably said he wouldn’t know for sure.

Which is true.

He’s worked out a schedule where he’s able to leave work by 11 AM on Fridays and what he does is often a wild card; his Fridays range anywhere from mundane errands to impromptu skydiving endeavors with Coyote and Phoenix. He might even go for a quick afternoon surf session if he feels up to it.

He’ll admit, sometimes he imagines spending his Friday afternoons with you. In one timeline, he convinces you to ride down the coast with him at sunset. Another has you laying on your stomach at the beach with your nose shoved in a book pretending not to be ogling him while he surfs.

Bradley even lets his mind wander to the possible tan lines on your hips and how he would graze his thumbs just beneath your bikini bottoms to feel the fullness of the skin there, but then he realizes how inappropriate that may be, and he lets the thought sit in the back of his brain unwatered and underdeveloped.

Besides, he was raised better than imagining women naked. . .Even though he thinks you’re absolutely stunning both clothed and naked. . .And would love the opportunity to see you na-

That’s beside the point. Get it together, man.

His eyes survey the surroundings of your living room. Throw pillows and blankets. Candles on the coffee table. Books everywhere. Open windows create sunspots on the carpet. A vintage record player on the shelf of your bookcase and your Tango in the Night vinyl playing softly.

He likes to think that in another life (he’s hopeful for this one, but he’s learned what having too much hope does to a person) your blue fuzzy blanket has a home on his cream-colored couch or that your Fleetwood Mac vinyl finds solace next to his Otis Redding and James Brown records.

Bradley takes a seat on your couch. The brown butcher paper holding together the peony floral arrangement he had picked up crunches in his hand. The other pats along to the soft rhythm arrangement in time with “Mystified.” He can smell the faint scent of your perfume and the sounds of life you make, the small gasps and soft humming and whispered curse words, fill him with endearment.

He’s so wrapped up in melting into your aura that he doesn’t even realize that you had left the bathroom until you stood dead in front of him; curled hair, makeup on, and an electric blue dress laying flawlessly on the silhouette of your body.

You make his mouth dry and any words that he wants to say disintegrate with how amazing he thinks you look. Him not saying anything makes you panic and you wonder if you forgot to blend the bronzer near your neck or if your blush was too pink or if there was a piece of hair you had forgotten or if the dress you had on actually made you look like a frumpy version of Aquamarine (a lot of or, or, ors).

Bradley, please say something.

He sits up straighter upon seeing you. The navy blue dress pants on his long legs bring out the green in his hazel eyes. Your heart feels warm at the thought of him matching you; especially after offhandedly mentioning that you were thinking of wearing a blue dress to the dinner rehearsal.

Your eyes glance to his non-dominate hand and spot the pink peonies wrapped in butcher paper. The simple notion of him getting you flowers makes your knees weak, and the fact that he didn’t get them from the grocery store - that it was an arrangement that he had gotten from a florist - makes you wish you were a better woman and weren’t thinking of dropping to your knees right there in front of him and thanking him with a blowj-

He doesn’t even think you look pretty enough to say something. Don’t get too ahead of yourself.

“Oh,” he wipes his empty hand on the fabric of his pants, “These are for you.” He pushes the bouquet forward for your observation.

A smile is center stage on your lips as you grab them from his grasp. “Thank you. This is really kind of you, Bradley.” You turn to head into your kitchen to grab a vase.

She didn’t say they were pretty. Does she even like peonies?

The silence surrounding you both is deafening. If you could ignore the slightly prickly feeling of heat eating away at the hairline on the back of your neck, you can almost forget that Bradley is even here.

But the thing is, Bradley is here. He’s here and so present and you’re gonna have to give your poor heart a break from beating so fast if you want to survive this weekend without having a stroke.

All the thought does is make you even more nervous (as if that’s even fucking possible at this point).

“Okay, kid. If we’re gonna be together all weekend, this,” he points his finger between you and him, “Ain’t fucking happening. We need to tallllkkkk.”

You swallow. “I -We are talking.”

“That’s not what I mean and you know it.”

“Okay,” you whisper sheepishly, your bare toe grinding into the carpet. The friction sends a wave of heat to your otherwise numb toes. It’s unconventional, but at least it’s helping you feel something other than anxiety.

He nods his head before standing up. His eyes glance at the gold watch on his left hand. “Well, it’s 2:30 and the rehearsal dinner is at 5. We need to get going if we wanna beat traffic.”

“Okay.”

He sighs, watched wrist coming down to lay his hand flat across his stomach. “Talking means more than just saying ‘okay.’ That’s not a conversation.”

You pause for a moment. The flowers he had brought still rest in between the crease of your inner elbow. More silence ensues. You just don’t know what to say.

He starts heading down your small hallway. The whiff of his cologne kickstarts your reaction.

“Hey!” you say, starting to stalk after him, “What the hell are you doing?”

He snickers. “Grabbing your bags? I was serious about getting a move on. Don’t want your folks to think your boyfriend is a slacker now, do ya?”

Bradley grabs the two bags you had struggled to set outside your bedroom door with ease. You never forget how strong he looks (oggling at a guy three days out of the six you work will do that to you) but you always seem to forget how strong he actually is.

You close your mouth before you begin to drool. Bradley will for sure be talking about this weekend with his friends and uncle. You don’t want to add any more embarrassing details to the story. Besides, your awkward preteen pictures from your mom’s Facebook hadn’t even been brought up yet. Some room needs to be saved for your utter humiliation.

Your feet slide into the pair of heels you had set aside before you scramble to grab your keys and purse. How Bradley can move so quickly is beyond your thinking capacity as you haphazardly take the needle off of your record. Your eyes do a quick sweep over your living room to make sure that everything is turned off so you won’t magically come home to a fire safety example at the conclusion of your weekend.

Now, if you can just make yourself stop feeling so jittery, you might be able to actually manage to fit your key into the lock of your front door.

After what feels like three years (and the embarrassment of knowing Bradley probably watched you struggle), the keys are stuffed back into your purse before you pause on your porch.

A black Ford F-150 sits curbside to your driveway. It doesn’t fit in with the SUVs and small sedans that make up the neighborhood you live in. You had never seen a car like this where you lived at all. Come to think of it, you had never seen this truck ever.

Doesn’t Bradley drive a Bronco?

Your eyebrows remain wrinkled with your puzzled expression as he rounds the back of the car; the resounding noise of the back door shutting makes his entrance known. He opens the passenger door for you and stands next to it.

He squints as he looks up at you. The sun is blazing and he forgot to grab his sunglasses from his side of the door.

“Cold feet?” he calls.

You start to head down the stairs and onto the pavement. “It’s seventy-six degrees. I think cold feet is kinda ill worded.”

“It’s a saying.”

The crossed arms over your chest signal your apprehension. Bradley stands before you, leaning against the truck and his arm slung on the top of the cab. He raises his brows at you and does a gentle motion of his head to the seat, inviting you to climb in. Even next to the large vehicle, he still looks. . .huge.

In a good way! In a good way. He’s actually really fit and I’m shaking inside and I’m sure I’m sweating and I have got to stop wearing light colors in front of him because he can probably see the sweat and - Oh God. Oh God, the seats are leather. What if I sweat all over them?

The lump in your throat is swallowed as you stand before him. “This isn’t your car,” you say lamely.

He scoffs. “Spying on me? Do you have my license plates memorized too?”

You know he’s teasing and that he doesn’t mean it literally, but you almost answer, “yes” because you do. Thankfully, you’re in the stage of your anxiousness where you clam up instead of puking your words out.

You cock your head to the side, eyes narrowed because of the bright sun.

“How do I know it’s not stolen? What if we get pulled over because it’s stolen?” you wonder, and then the word vomit picks up and - “ I can’t go to jail! I had nothing to do with it and the ABA is gonna pull my Bar application if we get arrested and I spent too much damn money and worked too damn hard to let an F-150 ruin it for-”

“Jesus Christ,” he mutters into a small laugh, “I know you love the Bronco,” he gives you a teasing look, “But the Bronco has no air and I figured that since we’re driving two hours on the highway, you would appreciate not having to ride with the windows down the entire time.”

“You still haven’t confirmed that it’s your car.”

“You know, for someone so smart, you are extremely bad at picking up on obvious context clues. Why the hell would I steal a pickup truck and then drive you to a wedding in it?”

You scrounge your brain for a reply. “. . .For the plot?”

He whistles and crosses his arms over his chest, mimicking your current stance. “Wow. I have a comedian for a date.”

“I’m serious. It could be a possibility!”

“Well I don’t think “felon” looks good next to “painstakingly handsome,” so I’ll pass.”

You remain standing in front of him. Stubbornness was a quality that your mother both loved and loathed and you know it, but Bradley has yet to see this side of you yet. Your arms wrap around your torso tighter and your eyebrows are raised every so slightly.

Bradley knows what you’re doing. He used to do it to Maverick all the time when he was growing up. You’re digging your heels in.

“C’mon. Don’t start poutin’ on me before I even get to disappoint you with my dancing,” he quips. He brings his face closer to yours before flashing you a toothy smile.

You sigh dramatically before letting him help you into the seat. The gentle “Atta girl,” he gives you pinkens your cheeks. You pray he won’t notice your flushed face when he sits on the driver's side of the car. Every interaction you’ve had with him has kept you tossing and turning at night because of your nervousness.

So many things you wish you could take back and so many ways you wish you could act normal; a never-ending cycle of “could’ve, would’ve, should’ve,” and the thought leaves a small seed of sadness in your stomach.

722 notes · View notes

gnashingwailing · 8 months ago

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Kept notes on a reread I was doing of The Art of Love and War because I am so obsessed with the gay little borrower darkfic... sharing with u @fireflywritesgt

it falls apart at ch12 because that is where i consistently turn into a puddle under my covers kicking my legs and making sounds only audible to shrimps.

I HOPE THIS IS A SMALL TOKEN OF APPRECIATION FOR HOW GUD THIS FIC IS, SINCERELY... LIKE I SAID PUTTING THIS IN SOMEBODY'S INBOX IS PROBABLY A WAR CRIME. SO.

There is soooo muuuuch I want to saaaay. I did a reread and excuse my being verbose but.

Ch10 where Harry reads about how tinies don’t ask for things and prefer to do favors for them — how extra insulting that makes his message in Ch1!! “Just ask” no wonder Joe was so pissed!!

ALSO him feeling “dirty, somehow” about accepting chocolate that didn’t kill him… was he having a little bit of feelings for “the kind man” and it got transmuted into self-loathing… 😭 oh internalized homophobia tag we’re really in it now…

Re: ch2 I would kill for Joe’s pov of this… I’m also so fascinated to pick up the detail that Joe apparently talked to himself regularly, for Harry to hear him through the radiator pipes… one assumes Joe doesn’t have guests. Poor guy! He’s really smart! He likes talking! The assistant job is perfect for himmmm.

Re: ch3, i wonder how much Captain Calloway’s “if you die it’s your own damn fault” has influenced Joe’s life ethos of fucking around and finding out (btw… Harry would be sooo horrified to know Joe had been poisoned 3 times and still tried that chocolate 😭 yet another fun! anecdote of his) … im also kinda curious about Gutters. What’s that guy’s deal. And OF. COURSE. How Captain got all his injuries. It’s also so very sad he feels this tension with the guys, what they’d do to him if they knew more about who he really was. I love this as a metaphor for homophobia…

Ch5 I’m still fixated on the giants who are guarding the place. Hundreds of tinies going there every day… you’d think there’d be snatchers all over the place 👀 and the other great worldbuilding… lab tinies… “they were corralling everyone everywhere and the women and kids went one way…” GOD. also them building tiny capitalism plus tiny race science is just 😭😭😭 noooo… the way Harry reinforces their shared dignity and humanity by showing genuine interest in Joe’s art.. ouuuugh it hits every time.

ALSO I WAS SO SUSPICIOUS OF HILL WHEN I FIRST READ CH6 BUT NOW THST I KNOW HE IS A BONA FIDE WIFEGUY ALL IS REDEEMED. I AM so curious as to why he keeps tiny town schematics in his office if he dislikes it…

Ch7 profoundly funny to me how Hill is like “miniature is the academic term” and Joe is like what. Tinies.

I really appreciate how Harry started off having some uh. Idk. Colonizer savior complex stuff + noble savage ideas about Joe? Like “oh it’s in mother nature’s hands whether he survives then… I see…” as if the tinies social constructs about Pets are some immutable fact of nature instead of. A social construct !! It’s really well-done, how you show him gradually understanding that he needs to listen to Joe, not assume he knows what’s best for him just because he read a 50yr old anthropology book!! It makes me love Harry all the more that he managed to grow through it out of fondness for Joe 🥺

AND OF COURSE. THE G/T GOODNESS. My god. I loooooove that Joe is so creeped out by giants that he has to keep his eyes closed to stomach it… just feels. Hmm. Realistic?? It would be so overwhelming. I love that his trust gets rewarded with the doctor not hurting him…

The rapport they establish being based on talking to one another… it’s just suuuuch a perfect central theme for this story… Joe being able to tame Harry’s anger by reminding him of Joe’s own humanity. “Please don’t do that, doc. This is mean. You’re being mean.” And “you’re treating me like I’m not even… not even…” UGH. RENT FREE IN MY HEAD, WARREN. “Maybe he could do it; maybe he could sit in the same room as a giant for five minutes. He would only have to do it once, and then he would never have to do it again, he reasoned.” Bitch u thought… get loved and cared for idiot…

Joe asking him “why not”, echoing Harry’s words that stuck with him…

And then him being sooo pissed at the phone it’s just absolutely amazing stuff. Wagging his finger at it/Dr Hill lmaooo. I was hootin and hollerin when I realized this foreshadows him being the assistant!!! He can talk on the phone just fine!!!!

His legs threatening to give way from the prospect of Harry seeing him at ground level after he escapes using the phone receiver… ouuugh. It’s SO GOOD. He’s come such a long way…

“Touching every wooden beam he passed for good luck” is INCREDIBLY cute mental imagery.., he’s happy… poor guy has awful luck tho so Harry is just pissed 😭 HIM NEARLY DESTROYING THE PLATES BECSUSE HARRY SCARED HIM SO BAD HAD ME FEELING.. SOME KIND OF WAY…

Ch8 also has the first mention of Joe’s books… I’m sooo curious where he got these.. did he perhaps make them…? 👀 YEAH HARRY SHOULD FEEL LIKE A MONSTER THO. YOU TERRORIZED A LIL MOVIE STAR!!! HE ONLY BROKE A FEW THINGS… Making him hide under his covers like he saw a monster… 😭

I love their first god awful handshake lmao. Incredible subversion of the usual g/t first meetings… Joe’s just like OK 👋 NOW GET THAT THANG OUTTA HERE

And then Joe going “I know about that!” Joe protested, his voice growing stronger. “It’s up to me, doc. If it happens, it happens and it’ll be my own damn fault.” … something tells me when Harry finally comes to understand Joe’s recklessness with his own life and what feelings about its worth may be underpinning that, he will be so sad 😔

Joe losing his toes to frostbite… realizing that could very likely be from when he was kidnapped and enslaved with O’Grady… uuuugh he’s so brave to want to connect with anybody at all let alone with Harry!!

Ch9 professor wifeguy moments… yesss… I love that he wants to hang out with another tiny too 😭 Joe is making friends!! I can’t wait to find out about Lorraine and what “other place” she knows about!!! Lmfao I can tell she’s going to be incredible just from the little bit Joe hears of her. I wonder too if she’s been marked… aahhh I’m so excited to learn more about these two. How interesting of a parallel, too, that Harry noted Dr Hill might also be a former soldier… something-something folks unable to fully integrate into society finding and building community with each other…

Also PROFOUNDLY interested to note on a reread that the tiny town on his wall says “a SAFE place to be” and the one in Riverdale said “a CIVILIZED place to be” 😬 a damn prison indeed… I also really wonder just HOW the tinies are paying their rent(?) to stay there, if they’re all as disdainful of “borrowing” as a career as O’Grady seems to be…

MAY I JUST NOTE that Joe stimming around is sooo charming to me. He’s kickin’ his legs. He’s pacing back and forth. He’s doing something like that in the walls when Harry was first listening to him. I LOVE HIM.. aND I love how this chapter we see him going from “that tall bastard (derogatory)” to “that tall bastard (amused)”

AND POOR JOE ON THE MOST CURSED FIELD TRIP IMAGINABLE. There is much to love here but I absolutely adore this imagery: “Joe buried himself in the curtain as the doctor, dressed to the nines in his work clothes and vaguely resembling a horse in a brown suit, sidled over to him and towered there and seethed.” HE’S TERRIFIED 😭 and Joe learns that other people value his wellbeing more than he does… wow Joe no need to ponder that any further until Ch15!!!

There’s SO much incredible prose in this chapter… the haaaaands oh my god the hands. The tinies are on the order of 2-3 inches tall, right? You really get a vivid sense of how big and dangerous everything is to them… absolutely A+ stuff.

This part also slays me everytime I think about it: “Joe was hidden inside [the pocket], and the thought of how unhinged his dear neighbour must look to his fellow giants as he walked and talked gave him no small amount of delight.” HE WOUUUULD.

The mystery of just what Joe created as a boy… what he can’t find it in himself to articulate… why he can hardly fathom talking about himself and his inner world to anyone …

PART 10… the difference in the way Joe confronts Harry here vs with the assistant in part 16 is somehow heartbreaking to me. I think the anger must just be displacement for how he’s really feeling (worried, uncomfortable…) and he’s more able to show his feelings to Harry with the assistants than he is now… but Joeeeee. I don’t ever want him to feel hopeless with Harry, like he just has to accept whatever he wants 😭 I love him in this chapter… Arms crossed, eyes narrowed… red faced… clawing at the air as he ranted Jdhdhdj GOD HE’S SO ICONIC: ““Nope. Not gonna happen! Veto!” Joe leapt up from the box, strode all the way to the edge of the table, and jabbed a finger at him. “I don’t know what kind of sick, twisted doctor things you intend to do to people but whatever it is, it’s not happening in my house!”” I guess I want him to still be comfortable with yelling veto at Harry lmao!!

And then Joe being like WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOU SAVING ME THE OTHER DAY. THAT MEANS NOTHING TO ME, A WILD AND INDEPENDENT TINY WHO HAD IT ALL UNDER CONTROL, AT ALL.

ALSO: the way he words this, I have a strong suspicion he does not know the word “patients”?! “”Let’s make a deal in exchange for patients. Give me something in exchange for patients.” Joe stammered. “You do that and I won’t make any trouble.””

Harry thinking of Joe as “the little bastard” in counterpoint to Joe’s “the tall bastard” really makes me smile too, hahahah.

AND THE FURTHER G/T TROPE INVERSION… just because he was willing to get in the giant’s hands one time doesn’t mean he’s suddenly fine with it!! I love how pissed they are at each other over this misunderstanding lmfao. He’s 👏 a 👏 wild 👏 tiny 👏 ‼️

And it’s so meaningful to me that the two of them bond more over sharing art with one another… Harry wants to introduce Joe to an amazing piano player… and Joe is so happy!!! The idea for a Charlie Chaplin bit with a rich miniature woman is SO inspired btw, I was as delighted as Joe was 😭 Harry being like “oh shit wait is this offensive” and then Joe just being like “THIS FUCKS SO HARD LMAO IT REALLY DO BE LIKE THAT”

And then the tragic aftermath… Harry NOTICING that he didn’t even know that he was doing anything wrong by bringing Joe there, it just FELT so dreadfully taboo (enough that Hill, who is MARRIED TO A TINY, also seems like he’s been caught doing something wrong when Harry first meets him)…. and then of course society reinforces that fear in a terrible way. Only a shared humanity regarding love of art saves poor Joe.. how lucky he’s gotten enough exposure to be able to speak in the presence of giants. You have to ponder how many tinies just as wonderfully complex as him have died for not having that skill. It’s so very sad!!! THE IMAGERY OF HIM ON THE LAMP LIKE IT’S A STREETCORNER JUST TWISTED THE KNIFE. Your writing really is so excellent, the way you can carry us through so many different emotions… Joe my belovedddd. I’m simply obsessed with the implications of him NAMING HARRY. WHAT IS /THAT/?? And the way that the narration in the story from this point on swaps to using Harry as his name… it speaks VOLUMES without you needing to elaborate on it at all. Joe has changed him! He’s becoming someone he likes better than Herman! A day we had good luck… Harry is good luck… Luck as a concept very different from what giants think of… I am absolutely enamored with how clearly he has a whole other world, another culture, that Harry can only guess at and be grateful to be included in.

JOE GETTING A NICE BATH AND A COMFORTABLE BED IN THIS CHAPTER IS JUST SO WHOLESOME (even if it will torment his Calvinist sensibilities later…) I am also so charmed to imagine how Joe must have woken up and been like “what the FUCK did I do last night. Where the HELL am I 🤨”

And then in Ch11 he’s like I WILL PROCEED NOT TO THINK OF THAT AT ALL. <- clueless

Ch11 is one of my favorites I think… we really get a good glimpse into how much heavy-duty rationalizing Joe is doing LMAO. “Taking food is fine, because I’m just using this tall bastard.” “It’s fine if I have leisure time.” “It’s fine if I like Harry and his company and I miss him when he’s gone and I want to give him a name.” “AS LONG AS I DON’T GET COMFORTABLE ALL OF THIS IS FINE.” This line is such a banger lol: “Joe Piccoli was many things as he went to sleep that night, but he was not a pet, and he was not comfortable.” And then the mouse!!! That Joe decides to draw rather than kill!!! Look at his needs being met!!!!!

IT ALSO ABSOLUTELY FUCKIN KILLED ME WHEN I REALIZED IN THIS CHAPTER THAT THE BOYS HAVE JUST. FULLY LEFT THAT FLOORBOARD OFF LMFAO??? THAT’S HIS SKYLIGHT NOW…

And then. Good god. The arm scene… it’s just. Soooo. 👌👌👌👌 I’m so … 😵‍💫💖❤️‍🔥…

“I’m a wild tiny!” “You’re going to be a dead tiny if that gets infected.” Their dynamic is so fucking funny. AND THE TENDERNESS OF HARRY TOUCHING JOE… Joe being so overwhelmed not exactly with fear but HMMM I WONDER WHAT EMOTION AND WHY HE MIGHT FEEL SO OVERWHELMED HE STILL NEEDS TO CLOSE HIS EYES AND PRETEND HE’S HIDDEN UNDER THE FLOOR AGAIN… 🤔🤔🤔 whyever would the touch of this kind giant make his hair stand on end and make him contemplate the reverence he’s being touched with and leave his cheeks burning… it is a mystery

And then Joe being so afraid the mouse would be hurt because in contrast to the kindness he’s been shown, he still has this long history of awful experiences with giants.. this part in particular made my heart hurt:

“Don’t kill the mouse, Harry, please don’t kill it. It’s just like me. It hasn’t done anything to you.” Joe begged.

Followed by him remembering that this is /Harry, his friend, who he knows/:

“The words hit Joe like the breaking of a spell, and he stood in the kitchen windowsill feeling downright foolish. Of course Harry wouldn’t kill the mouse, Joe realized - of course he wouldn’t do that.”

OUGH. This story is SO delicious I’m beyond obsessed…

The two of them having a much less Charged encounter after Joe has resolved some of his internal conflicts, at least for the moment… chatting away like they’re two normal friends while Harry touches him… 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 I LOVE THESE TWO SO MUCH‼️

Their motorcycle shenanigans… Harry showing Joe his precious Contraption and Joe absolutely hating it omg it was so peak 😭 PLAYING “WHO’S-MORE-BORING CHICKEN”… the way Joe is like “I would rather Die than have to listen to this guy talk about how he’s more exciting than me. Absolutely not.”

I also very much appreciate the foreshadowing of the street car on this re-read…

AND may I say I really love that they went on a little nature trip together!!! I have thought often of the potential of a g/t story set outdoors, where the normal sized person and the tiny are both made small by how all-encompassing the wilderness is. Something to do with camping or backpacking! Maybe something I want to write one day! This gave me a delightful taste of that.

AND ANYWAY THE ACCEPTING OF COMFORT EVEN AS IT FLIES IN THE FACE OF EVERYTHING HE’S BEEN TAUGHT TO ROMANTICIZE AND VALUE… ouuuughhh GET LOVED IDIOT!! GET SEEN AND KNOWN AND TAKEN CARE OF!!!

And then ch12… Harry’s realization that Joe won’t ever bring up anything if it’s just for his own benefit. Which by the way, on a re-read I can appreciate how cleverly you’ve set this up, if I didn’t write that clearly enough before! There’s something cultural there but also, I think, something uniquely Joe that Harry maybe can’t fully see yet. Harry’s watch from his parents breaking down at the same moment he’s trying to change his relationship with Joe, the new most important person in his life (at least I presume! He doesn’t seem to have other close friends/family) … very very good. This sentence is so evocative. Simultaneously funny and sad: “With the way Joe’s eyes shifted from side to side one would think the doctor had suggested they go rob a bank.” It’s very good angst realizing how much Harry is asking of Joe without him even knowing it…

BTW this part is so delightful. They’re so interested in each other!!! “When his footsteps announced his arrival, he could see the tiny’s movements through the missing floorboards as his neighbour crossed the floor and climbed back up to the windowsill above the counter.” <- guy who absolutely has NOT been gotten

“Joe smiling. A rare sight indeed.” JUST…. My heaaaart ‼️‼️

Also hilarious how Joe and now Harry have both had “mmm I do NOT like the way this guy is smiling right now” moments 🤣

GOD tho, Joe’s opening up about getting snatched… much like Harry, it made me feel absolutely beside myself.

^^^ AS YOU CAN SEE. I'VE FULLY FALLEN APART.

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castle-dominion · 1 year ago

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6x2 dreamworld

Castle still hasn't told becks that esposito thinks dreamworld is a thing. Or yk say "I heard abt it for derek storm"

There was only one existing "vial" of toxin? I mean like...

& then isn't US healthcare rly bad?

Is castle allowed in the investigation now?

"You told esposito?"

I think BRONSON thought it did

Lol castle, who is dying, is doing better than beckett.

Only an hour or two? how close is their thinking? he has 10-12 hours living & then another 1-2 hours?

reporter's gonna be dead

sleep when I'm dead" lol

RC: And if it doesn’t work out, I’ll be out of your hair by the end of the day.

RmC: Is he always such a character?

You know, cops lie to you all the time. Be careful.

Just having this convo in a coffee shop?

IDK much abt this, I've seen it before & I'm still confused.

RmC is talking so slowly...

Oh heck yeah, the sec of defense is SO hiding stuff.

He has a slight lisp, his S is an SH.

Beckett is too much of a homicide cop, she talks to people firmly instead of being polite to this guy.

If it indeed does exist.

Is he lying when becks asked him abt valkyrie?

how much of the toxin do they HAVE?

Wasn't that beckett's ringtone in earlier seasons?

If I'm not there tomorrow <3 <3 <3

Martha KNOWS something is wrong.

Oof those "see you tomorrow"s dsjlskdjfslkdjf

The washington monument lol.

Love dual citizenship.

K but how is the antidote administered?

& how MUCH toxin/antidote is there? Maybe it is a rly small thing & he DOES have it in his backpack but it's so small u didn't notice at first.

RC: Thanks. For letting me be a part of this.

Vilante: When you write your next novel, maybe you’ll find a place for a dashing Colombian American federal agent.

RC: Consider it done.

Rasheed: (laughs) You have a gift for making every fact sound sinister.

That's cops for ya.

But you left AFTER he did...

Oh he was following him & then they talked & then it didn't matter who left first.

Here's the plot: Rasheed saw Bronson holding the dead body of a young woman, Bronson pulled a gun on him, they kept it a secret.

Bronson thinks rasheed told someone.

He could come up with a lie like that, plenty of people do.

Btw bronson was in that car for ages, what if he exposed other ppl to that toxin babes? Also did they ever figure out who planted the aeresol toxin in his car?

"We've been trying to highlight things for years, we didn't realize that the highlighters were black" -the fbi

Not since typewriters. i & W. & the music too.

Love a good old transcript. https://dustjackets.fandom.com/wiki/6x02_transcript

INT – TWELFTH PRECINCT BULLPEN

KEVIN RYAN and JAVIER ESPOSITO exit the elevator.

KEVIN RYAN:

I just always thought that you and I would have kids together.

All the fangirls: wHat.?

(clipped)

Martha going to rysposito for help <3

Castle & his bad coffee lol.

It is his death, he can joke about it if he wants.

Lol typing.

Dun dun dun, valkyrie is the servant girl who is getting killed in there. Whoops.

Dun dun dun he mentioned dreamworld.

Vilante is me: But if he wanted to silence Bronson, why would he go to the trouble of setting him up first? And none of this explains the theft of the toxin.

So confused.

lmao waterboarding the truth out of secretary reed.

My man has a NICE house

"the woman whose husband is dying"

Ask him "then tell me who to actually ask about!"

rysposito calling beckett & castle's mom & all this stuff...kjsdkfhsjdk

She's smart but risked her job on it.

Also yeah castle is getting more shortness of breath, how long does he have now?

The reporter boy claimed the body of the servant agent?

Why would the reporter, Brad, have given up his information earlier in the episode then?

It's one of the oldest motives there is.

RC: I was given less than a day to live just a little less than a day ago

(i shouldn't find that funny)

Man has a nice apartment, too bad Castle doesn't have his writer vest tho

WOULD he have all that info in his house? is he that messy?

But maybe becks should call the doc anyway so he can administer it bro...

Oh now that is sick (so cool & poetic tho)

You & your stupid hunches <3.

Looks a bit like the guy from the show mum & lil bro are watching. oliver queen.

The sugarbowl

Also nobody knew he had an appointement for an interview with the wife? rly?

Castle *falls*

anTidote babe.

Oh Castle is going to wake up & trip this guy lol.

Oh it's mccord,, not castle. too bad. Good how she trusted her partner's hunches tho.

So castle almost dies & then makes a full recovery?

INT – HOSPITAL

KB: Castle.

Her voice is soft over the beep of the machines. She reaches out to stroke his neck.

KB: Castle.

He hums as he travels back into wakefulness.

KB: Hey.

She smiles.

RC: Hi. I had the strangest dream and you were there.

MR: Oh, thank God.

AC: Hey Dad.

RC: And you were there and you were there.

They grab is hand.

Pi: Hey Mr. C. I did some healing reiki on you. Looks like it worked.

RC: (dryly) And you were there.

(I love Pi. Lives in amsterdam where shrooms & weed are legal, lived in costa rica & went home with Alexis even tho he doesn't have a passport, later on becomes a bee counting biologist or smth, lights up sage, practices reiki, he is a very culturally learned man.)

Ooh th emusic djfksldfsdkjflskjd

Beckett chill, it's like when you let drug dealers off the hook bc they help with your murder investigation. You do that all the time.

That's what partners do <3 <3 <3

I think I got some clips from this one...

#castle 6x2 quote #castle 6x2 spoilers #castle 6x2 #the valkyrie/dreamworld episodes

0 notes

theguardianace · 9 months ago

Text

is it a good fic? idk. i never wrote it. i probably never will. but i think i was on to something with the concept. btw i think i wanted tsukasa to be genderfluid? don't remember because i never actually wrote it down...

this is a straight copy paste of the doc.

General outline-

Tsukasa helps rui move some gear back to his garage

Complaining but boasting at the same time. Is the first time he’s been there.

Finds a photo on rui’s desk- tall girl, short haired pink dude, mint hair shy dude. Comments on it- rui a bit uncomfy, tries to hide… something about it. (spoiler alert half his troupe is Trans Gender) Tsukasa is kinda dumb. He doesn’t get it.

Mizuki comes to a brainstorming session for the next play one day. Tsukasa finally puts together the dots and, being unable to read social cues, calls him out on it.

Transphobic in the in denial way. “That’s not real”, “everyone feels like the other gender sometimes”

Rui is smart. He gets it after that comment.

Ends meeting.

Tsukasa starts having a mini gender crisis- will snowball later

Come back next day- restart preparations

Tsukasa, dejectedish- what if we did another knight play

Rui, like the chaotic gremlin he is- what if the knight disguises himself as a girl to rescue the other princesses (emu asks if she could play a prince actually)

Tsukasa freaks out but everyone else is like yeah that sounds fun

Mizuki makes a combination suit dress, similar to tsukasa’s original suit

Clip skirt- longer side fringe, can unclasp and spread to other side to form a skirt (star pattern) (heck yeah dude)

First rehearsal is an absolute nightmare. Tsukasa has a panic attack once they get to the disguise.

Goes to sekai- finds miku

Trans icon miku! Formed by the feelings of other, gender would change based on those feelings.

Next day- try again. This time… let it be ok.

It got better- still panicky, but less

Saki puts his hair up in a ponytail (a very short one, albeit) -> panics a bit when she comments on length, but she’s amazing and while doesn’t quite get it, would be supportive

Or would she. She has three girlfriends and there’s no way shiho is cis

Mizuki comes to give him a special hair tie for the show- he apologizes to them (+ rui and nene) for lashing out. Comes out.

Rui didn’t come out earlier for fear of being an outsider again

Performance is a success!

in summary my opinions on wxs being full of Fun Gender Times has not changed since day one

just found an abandoned outline for a trans tsukasa fic i came up with two years ago does anyone want the sparknotes

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eolewyn1010 · 2 years ago

Text

Dracula shenanigans of the day, 2/2:

Jack and van Hellstoker confer about Renfield; I notice that van Hellstoker has lost his pretty fluent grammar and thesaurus syndrome again to play the Funny Foreigner, but makes a full swing back in only a couple paragraphs. In between those, he goes to see Renfield - alone, because Jack is not a responsible Doctor. Renfield doesn't really care for much smalltalk today though, but I applaud him for insulting van Hellstoker as an idiotic, thick-headed fool. Gee, what a mood swing. Both Jack and van Hellstoker take up the "oh, I'm so glad we keep poor frail womanly Mina in the dark!" talk from Jonathan, as if they hadn't all seen and read up on how Lucy's case went down. Renfield is right; our oh-so-smart author's avatar is amazingly thick-headed.

Not even Mina gets it. Mina. You accompanied Lucy throughout the first stages of her situation. You should be worried about being tired and low-spirited. But no, she has to tell us that her husband only wants the best for her and so she should acquiesce to his wishes, for his decisions are wise. And that she goes to bed when the men tell her to do so. Bleh. Don't even bother, Stoker. Also, she's really depressed about Lucy now - and does just what Lucy did; hide that she's unwell from everyone around. *facepalm* Does anyone in this book ever learn? She has heard "queer sounds" last night btw, but I'm too grumpy to think of a fitting joke. Then, while Renfield was throwing a panic fit in his cell, Dracula crept up on her as a mist and made her lethargic. Shame she had no idea he could do that, what do you know. She does remember weird "dreams" of mist getting into her room, making her unable to move and including two glowy red eyes. She even manages to draw the connection from Jonathan's witnessing Dracula's three housemates dissolving into mist to what she's seen in her room! So close, Mina, so close! But nah, better ask the Doc for sleep-inducing drugs. Don't ever talk about the actual issue.

Jonathan is sleuthing after dirt boxes meanwhile, and comes to learn that Dracula is basically setting himself up all over London. His current lead ends at one of the delivery guys drinking out his brains and not being available for asking, though, so back home it is and better don't pay the slightest thought to your wife not looking all that well. Dumbass. Can they FUCKING stop repeating their "it's so good we kept her out of this" mantra? Who does Stoker think he's kidding? That's not a good Red Herring; that's infuriating bullshit.

In the meantime, Jack tries to understand what's going on with Renfield, and they have a convoluted talk about flies and God and Enoch - basically, about Renfield's desire to become as close to what he perceives a deity as he can possibly get. Jack brings up the question of how the soul could remain undamaged when a life is consumed. This is all highly philosophical and I don't get it, and Renfield would rather not contemplate souls. He's rather upset about the thought, but has enough self-control to stop himself from another outburst. Jack finally catches the brain cell and deduces that Renfield thinks Dracula will give him eternal life. On a more cheerful note, when Jack has towed up van Hellstoker and brought him to Renfield, the latter is "singing gaily" in his cell. Not, perchance, of Dracula? Queer dreams, people! He's also catching flies again and not condescending to talk to the doctors.

Oh, and Arthur gets a short letter from another solictor office Jonathan has been asking about Dracula's real estate acquirings. They're not highly informative, to be honest; they only mention that Dracula is not exactly doing clean and correct business. Probably avoiding taxes, amirite?

#Dracula Daily #if I have to read the 'good that we're not informing Mina' line one more time I swear to God #that's not clever. or subtle. or narratively purposeful

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daryfromthefuture · 4 years ago

Note

Hello! Saw you were looking for some asks :) Do you have headcanons for any of the characters? Also, since you're doing commentary on each minute of the movie, is there a particular scene or minute you can't wait to get to?

Alright, headcanons...

Let´s do this then. For everyone reading this, it may take a while ;)

Marty:

He is definetly not a slacker, but he also doesn´t really bother to pay attention at school. Like, in classes, he often just daydreams about stuff like the newest guitars or having a great career in music. In the novelization he listens to his walkman at school, and I go with it. It´s quite a common thing for him to do.

He loves pets, but he never really had one. Except that bird which is seen in the McFly home. Luckily he´s got lil Einie, who, btw, also absolutely adores Marty.

Marty doesn´t judge people by their reputation (obviously) or their looks. Before he decides who he likes or who he doesn´t, he has to talk to them at least a few times and really get to know them.

He directly heads to Doc´s garage like every day after school. Maybe because Doc is the one who´s actually interested what´s happening there. Marty´s parents in the original timeline aren´t really supportive, so I think they never ask how the day was etc., so if something´s dumb happened at school, Marty just tells Doc.

His bed in the garage appeared about 8 or 9 months after Marty and Doc met (I just go with the canon version here, so they met in 1982). The boy didn´t ask, but was so happy and thankful so he just gave Doc a hug, which said everything.

Doc:

He is, of course, really into science but he also loves culture like music, literature or art. I love to headcanon that he paints sometimes (also something I read in the novelization) and that he and Marty play their instruments together. Sax and guitar sound real great in combo.

He is the best hugger alive.

He can´t live without a dog in his house. He doesn´t know why, he just can´t. Maybe it´s because he feels lonely without one, but it´s also simply because dogs are his favourite animals.

He doesn´t have any siblings or cousins. His parents died in the 1940´s and left him the mansion, in which be basically was alone all the time except one and a half weeks in 1955.

Doc is extremely stubborn.Like, really. When he´s got something in his mind, he´s unstoppable. But one time he did marty a favor and read his letter, thank god.

His house burned down by accident. I know there´s a comic issue about that one, but it´s just way to complicated for me.

He loves children and always wanted to have some of his own. Of course he has Jules and Verne, but he will never stop treating and caring about Marty like one of his. He loves all three of them, which is why I just don´t get the ending of part three. You can´t tell me that after putting your best friend through hell you just leave him. No way.

Jennifer:

She is quite popular in school. Not only because she´s beautiful, but also because she´s polite and loves to help others, no matter who they are.

When Marty introduced her to Doc, she accepted the scientist immediatly. She did know about all the rumors, but she trusted Marty more than them and when she got to meet Doc, she knew there was no chance he could be dangerous. Also, his dog was adorable.

Marty tried to teach her skateboarding once, but it isn´t really her thing. She maybe is in a swimming club or something, but skating...nah.

She is actually really smart.

Clara:

She absolutely cares about Marty a lot. That´s why she convinced her husband to move back to 1985. I headcanon that Doc was so happy about his time train and his family luck that...that he didn´t really think about his old life. So Clara got him back on the track by being like: Emmett, you stupid? Don´t you get that Marty needs you? You are a scientist and you invent great things and you love us and we love you too, alright, but you´ve got another person you love and who loves you so don´t you dare leave him alone after all the boy just went through.

She has real good common sense.

She actually understands all the time travel stuff immediatly. I mean, sometimes time paradoxes and all the bttf timelines hurt my brain, but she became an expert after a short time, also because she´s into Jules Verne and scinece herself.

She still works as a schoolteacher in 1985, but she teaches at an elementary school maybe

Okay enough for now with the headcanons.

Some scenes I can´t wait to get to:

The one in which Doc of 1955 sees Marty for the first time, the “don´t say a word!” one. I love it.

Where Doc discovers that his flux capacitor will work one day.

The one in which Doc and Marty are at the high school and the “my mom´s got the hots for me” line.

George being a cutie with “why do you keep following me around!”.

Marty playing Johnny B. Goode.

The hug.

“Roads? Where we´re going, we don´t need roads.”

Thanks for asking! :)

#back to the future #ask #headcanons

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stonyiscanon · 4 years ago

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socially awkward! peter parker x oblivious shit! reader

read: peter has a heart attack every time he talks to you because you’re too pretty and nice oof

lmfao just experimenting some new head canon//writing styles lmk what you guys think 🥺

it’s essentially a crack fic i have no regrets.

Warnings: an excessive amount of exclamation points used, overload of fluff, it might be little TOO crack-y if that’s even possible for me, a confusing amount of POV switches. ok it’s just shitty writing would you please read it.

Words: 4.8k this be a baby fic

Genre: fluffity fluff, idiots to lovers, high school! reader, god just read the title.

my masterlist is here if you want more shit

talk to me! be my friend please im lonely

peter first meets you when you’re new to midtown and you get sorted into his science class.

you sat in front of him your very first day and yeah he’s been soft™ for you ever since

like no joke the first time he saw your face he freezed up and choked on his banana

‘oh nO NED!!! she’s PRETTY!!’

‘like, REALLY pretty!!! S H I T’

‘um,,... okay ain’t that a good thing you sit behind her in class!! maybe you can ask for her number or something—‘

oh hohohohoho ned my friend,,

N O

ABSOLUTELY NOT

peter parker has spoken to you a total of twenty-two (22) times within the whole year that you’ve been... acquaintances?? classmates?? ….. friends???

and his fat secret crush on you will STAY A SECRET THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

he’ll die before he asks you out or makes a move because there’s no way in hell peter has a chance with you, the beautiful new girl.

‘i mean, she’s not just beautiful too! she’s so smart, and i know that because i can literally see all her notes from behind her and she gets like, basically all A’s, but she doesn’t even know she’s smart and beautiful?? like, she never raises her hand in class even though i know she knows all th-’

you would think ned would be tired of peter’s ‘shit I’m in LOVE’ rants by now, he’s not because we stan supportive friend ned.

hehe little does he know his big fat secret crush may not be,, totally unrequited

👀

oKAY so maybe you have a humongous tiny crush on the dorky cute guy who sits behind you in science class

WHAT ABOUT IT not like he likes you back anyways.

that one time you asked him for a pencil he looked like he was having an aneurysm!! like okay, are you that hideous or—?

(yeah it totally doesn’t hurt at all that the cute guy you like is repulsed by your presence and seems to ignore you and tense up whenever you’re around)

(t o ta ll y) 🤡

yeah y/n kinda dumb in this because the entire student body knows about peter’s (not so secret lmFAO) crush on you

everyone lOwkEy ships it

ned is president of the petery/n shipper fanclub

that may be because he’s the only member in aforementioned fanclub but you two have many supporters outside the fanclub

ned hypes peter up everytime science class comes around and peter gets kinda confident when he walks in the classroom

‘yeah! i got this!! maybe this time i won’t stare at her hair creepily and then run aw-‘

‘hey peter!’

asjkdjejnxHAUXINENEIAIRJBSJS

ABORT NEVERMIND I DONT GOT THIS ASKXISNNDKSN

peters brain has left the building

and he kinda stares at you for a sec and runs off to his seat at the back

hm, yeah he definitely doesn’t like you

you sigh as you take your seat in front of him, trying to ignore how your love for this dork is completely one sided

the entire class wants to throttle both of you

so then for the sake of the cliche and the plot (did you heart that fourth wall break?? nvm i didn’t hear nothin)

gasp group project time??!?!?!?!

dang who could have saw this coming

totally unexpected

wow

peter is half hoping to get you and half DREADING to

because he knows if he gets you he’ll be able to spend time with you but 300% won’t be able to function and will most certainly fail this project

but i mean who cares about grades.

in a plot twist that literally no one saw coming,,,

‘betty and liz, you’ll be doing yours on atomic structure,

and peter and y/n are partners! you’ll be doing...’

oh nO

you’re partnered up with peter!

i mean this is great news you get to stare at his precious face more but you’re basically forcing him to spend time with someone he doesn’t like!!

so you turn around and you give him an apologetic and (cute as FXCK) small smile

meanwhile, peter combusts

one look at your smile and he just knows he’s completely fucked

like he physically uwus so hard he slams his head on the table

‘oh! are.. you okay? i mean, is working with me really going to be that bad?’

awkward laugh to hide the pain,, quick y/n!!

‘nO!! i mean, no, absolutely not that’s not what i- it wasn’t my- i didn’t m-‘

you smile a little sadly this time and say,

‘don’t worry about it, i know you don’t like me. it’s only two weeks anyway. i promise i won’t take much of your time.’

wait. hold up. back up here. wha-? wHO doesn’t like W HO??

‘wait what do you mea-‘

‘don’t worry about it. wanna meet at the library after school to get a head start on this?’

‘uh, yeah. i mean- cowabunga…!’

wat

shit peter has never wanted to die more in his entire life

so he does what any other normal person would do and yEEts out the classroom full speed

leaving you slightly hurt but mostly just confused

peter strolls in the library casually attempting to strain his neck 360 degrees to look for you

he looks like a chicken and also that’s humanly impossible but leave him be he’s iN LOVE

he spots you on one of the study tables. he takes a deep breath,, and walks over

‘hey!! sorry i’m a little late, uh, something… came up haha’

acting like the poor boy didn’t stand outside the library for fifteen minutes thinking about what he was going to say to you

‘no worries!’ you shoot him another one of those painfully adorable smiles and peter wants nothing more but to give that smile a smooch because damn that is a face that deserves smooches

but he also has a tiny feeling that maybe you might not appreciate it if he randomly kissed you out of nowhere

(you would not mind at all but he doesn’t know that)

‘so yeah! ready to compare the wonders of chemistry and motion physics?’ peter says, bending down to snatch his backpack up to the table (effectively hiding his red cheeks)

you snort as you prop your elbows onto the table, resting your head on your hands.

‘the wonders? hm, i really can’t tell whether you’re being serious or not. guess you really are a dork.’

you giggle a little bit before you catch sight of peter looking like a gaping fish. you immediately slam your hands down, perhaps a little too loudly considering you’re in a library, and blurt out,

‘uh, I was.. joking! making a joke, in case, you know, that wasn’t obvious.’ You awkwardly hide your face between your fingers and squeak out a small apology

‘nO! no, no, don’t worry about it. yeah, I am a dork, so… yeah, i’m not offended, or anything. uh- just, yeah, don’t worry about it.’

well, that ruined the flow of conversation peter was so desperate to keep up with

none of you speak for a bit, opting to look around the very interesting library walls instead, until peter clears his throat and brings up motion physics again

yeah! this will be fine. all you have to focus on is science, and NOT peter’s very soft kissable lips and how good he looks in his light green coloured sweater

huh

oh no

desperately attempting to clear your mind, you try and focus on what he’s saying instead

it’s just SCIENCE, y/n. focus on the SCIENCE.

this distraction just-concentrate-on-the-work technique works for about the next hour or so as you guys study and work on this project

everything is going great!

you two have an organised google doc full of research and a finished introduction! you’re being extremely productive!

both of you are doing an amazing job at hiding your mutual (except none of you know it’s mutual) attraction!

so as you walk out the library beside peter some time later, you’re smiling softly, because even if your massive crush isn’t reciprocated, you and peter can maybe at least be friends by the end of this, right?

he didn’t even look like he detested you as much as usual today

maybe that’s because he was pretty much forced into cooperating with you because of this project, but you even caught him smiling at you today, so he must be warming up to you

which is great news, of course

peter swallows down his fear and the excessive amount of spit that is coating his tongue and turns to you

‘so, this was really fun’

you tilt your head, mildly horrified at his words

‘we need to stage you an intervention if a science project is something you classify as ‘fun’’

‘no, i mean, the science was kinda boring. spending time with you was really fun. ….right?’

oh good, he isn’t actually a complete monster who does science for fun

(he totally is but you don’t need to know that)

‘yeah! hanging out was really fun, even if we had to spend that time doing work’

you shudder and cringe when you mention ‘work’, because there are much more interesting things you’d rather be doing with peter

👀

‘yep.’

‘yeeep.’

‘so, we should meet up again to work on this… project. right?’ you’re shifting your weight and darting your eyes across the floor, desperately avoiding peter’s gaze.

‘yeah!!’

oof maybe that was a little too enthusiastic. maybe you didn’t notice?

‘i mean, yeah… yeah, totally. sounds… chill.’

oh god that’s worse isn’t it

‘great!’

cue awkward silence

‘so… um… can I maybe have your number?’

you stare blankly at him trying to conceal your excitement because did PETER PARKER just ask for YOUR number?!?!?!

oh no why aren’t you saying anything crapcrapcrap this is peter’s first time asking for ANYONE’S number did he mess up oh no he messed up didn’t he.

‘you know, for the project!!!!! haha!!!!’

oh. of course he wouldn’t actually want your number

*sigh these oblivious fucks I stg i’m the one who’s actually writing this and I want to throttle them*

‘oh… yeah, no problem! um, here’s my number’

‘cool! i’ll text you then!’

from peter p [12:48]

Hey y/n!! Um this is Peter btw. Peter Parker. From science class.

to peter p [12:49]

hey peter!

from peter p [12:49]

So if it’s cool w u do you want to meet up at my place? For the project haha, just figured a change of scenery might be nice. The library can get a little bit boring sometimes.

to peter p [12:49]

yeah sounds cool just send me ur address and i’ll be over after skl tdy if that’s ok

from peter p [12:50]

Yep awesome see u then

to peter p [12:50]

see u! :))

that smiley face almost makes his heart burst god he’s so whipped for you.

then the panic kicks in.

‘OHMYGOD Y/N Y/L/N IS COMING OVER.’

peter spends like three hours making sure the apartment is SPOTLESS.

spends like half an hour trying to decide whether he should take down all the Star Wars memorabilia down from his walls

like, he doesn’t want you to think he’s a DORK.

(too late peter)

but then ultimately keeps them up, partly because shit you’re coming in like 5 minutes he doesn’t have time for this

but also, you’re a nice person! you surely won’t make fun of him for having a knockoff replica of the death star in his room.

hopefully

oh god if you make fun of him for being a Star Wars nerd he will break down in tears HE HAS TO TAKE THEM DOWN

*ding*

fuck

peter stands up from his spinney chair abruptly and scrambles towards front door.

he spent some time this morning with Aunt May for girl advice and nothing really came out of that except a very traumatizing safe sex talk and some teasing that he will never be able to erase from his memory.

he takes a fast detour and quickly stops in front of the bathroom mirror on his way to open the door, desperately trying to tame the mop of curls and his head.

did I put on deodorant this morning? crap I brushed my teeth right?

*ding*

FUCK

peter stops in front of the door, takes a deep breath and-

‘hey!’ a strangled greeting comes out of his throat but hopefully you don’t notice how nervous he is.

you don’t, because this is oblivious shit!reader

‘hi peter!’

peter is suddenly very aware of how long you have been standing outside.

‘oH! sorry, um come in!!’ he says, opening the door wider and welcoming you in with (overly?) enthusiastic arms.

‘yeah! make yourself at home and everything. you want a drink or something?’

‘water would be nice.’

peter sprints to the kitchen to get you some ICE COLD water in his favourite mug.

peter parker’s apartment is covered with cosy furniture and photos of him and another middle aged woman. half those photos are him and that woman smiling brightly into the camera.

there’s a photo that’s nicely framed above the mantle that shows a young peter beaming in front of a birthday cake, with that same woman and another unknown middle aged man smiling down at him. the photo is clearly old and crumpled, even with the frame around it.

peter looks so happy in that photo…

huh. baby peter is just as adorable as he is now.

you jump away from the photo when you hear his footsteps coming back into the living room. something about the photo seemed emotional, personal. it just didn’t seem like something you should be looking at.

peter comes back clutching two mugs and hands one to you.

‘nice place!’

‘oh, thanks… yeah my Aunt isn’t home right now, she’s downtown meeting some friends, so we have the place to ourselves……’

‘so we can study uninterrupted.’ he says.

oh of course, studying!! yep that’s exactly where your mind went when peter said the apartment was empty aHaH.

peter’s room is a little less adult than the rest of his apartment, flooded with polaroids of him and Ned, with Star Wars posters on the walls.

you ignore the pang of jealousy that you feel when you spot a photo of MJ and peter grinning in front of a bowling alley.

so for the next two hours you two are in peter’s room… studying vigorously.

you would be 100% lying if you said you weren’t disappointed only studying happened.

the weird thing is???

every time you would look down at your textbook to explain something about periodic motion peter seemed to be looking at you when you looked up?

well, looking at you isn’t very weird, looking at someone while they’re talking is just basic manners. but when you looked back he would snap his eyes straight back to his own textbook, nodding and wordlessly agreeing with whatever you had just said.

maybe it’s just your imagination but the way he looked at you, it’s almost a loving, caring gaze.

oh god who are you kidding, it’s just your brain and imagination playing tricks on you.

you’re alone with peter parker in his bedroom!! these things are going to happen!

‘hey you want to take a break? we’ve been going at this for a whole hour now.’ peter says, craning his neck to take a look at the clock on the wall.

‘has it really been a whole hour?’ you lean back in your chair looking up at the ceiling.

‘yeah okay. let’s have a small break then.’

peter picks up both of your mugs and heads off to the kitchen, groaning slightly when he stretches his legs out for the first time in an hour.

*a/n: apologies in advance to those with nut allergies*

he comes back with both your mugs refilled with (water for you, gatorade for peter) and a small bag of almonds for you to snack on.

‘oh hey! almonds are my study snack of choice too!’

‘yeah, i know’ peter says carelessly, scrolling down his phone.

‘i don’t like almonds all that much, but i bought a few packs this morning on the way to school.’

hm,, wHat

‘if… you don’t like almonds why would you get them for me?’

‘because you like almonds.’

blink.

b l i n k

it takes a bit of time for peter to realise what just came out of his mouth.

‘i meAn! I’M NOT A STALKER I SWEAR. i just see you at school sometimes and you always have a small pack of these to snack on whenever you’re doing work so i thought,, you know, since we’re doing WORK, i should buy some for you… so you won’t get hungry!!!’ he’s wailing nonsensical excuses and apologies by now.

huh.

peter parker knows that you snack on almonds when you study, and bought a pack for you even though he doesn’t like them at all.

maybe he doesn’t hate you as much as you thought.

you tear apart the packaging and stuff an almond in your mouth, your traitorous lips slowly threatening to curl into a huge smile.

(despite how much you fight against it, you end up with a slightly demonic looking huge smile on your face, which you attempt to hide by stuffing more almonds in your mouth)

(you now look like a chipmunk)

(but a cute one!!!!)

meanwhile peter is trying to hide the feeling of humiliation by resting his face in his hands, because he literally just exposed himself. he will not be able to take it if he looks back up at your face and you’re laughing at him for this stupid crush.

to his surprise, he does not look up to find you mocking his love for you, but instead, he finds you with a mouth full of almonds, struggling to chew and swallow them all without looking like a disgusting fool.

oh.

that’s kinda cute.

after a good five minutes of you trying to force like 10 almonds down your esophagus, you clear your throat and awkwardly blurt out a ‘thank you’

‘for the almonds! it’s cute how you bought them for me because you knew how much i like to snack on them while i study. that’s really sweet of you. i guess you really don’t hate me all that much, huh?’ the last sentence comes out teasingly, a playful smile gracing your lips, but instead of uwu-ing over your cute smile, peter’s just confused.

‘why would i hate you?’ he says, his eyebrows laced together in confusion.

‘well, i always kinda got the impression that you didn’t like me… all that much? i never really knew why. hey, why did you hate me so much before this? if i accidentally did something at the start of the year that pissed you off, i’m sorry.’

your playful smile fades a little bit as you see peter basically collapse on himself just due to sheer GRIEVANCE.

‘WHY WOULD YOU THINK I HATED YOU?’ peter yells out, probably annoying the neighbours with how fucking loud he is, but he can’t seem to bring himself to care right now.

‘you… didn’t?’ you say, now becoming just as confused as peter.

he shakes his head aggressively, bringing his fingers up to his temples.

‘but… you always seemed so jumpy around me! and you would never really talk to me, and that one time i asked you for a pencil, you looked like you were dying or something! i always just thought you didn’t like me!’

god

peter doesn’t know whether he should be laughing or crying.

‘that’s not because I HATED YOU!! that’s because- i mean- i always thought-’ he’s still yelling and at this point one of the neighbours are definitely going to come knocking to complain, but peter still doesn’t care, because he’s currently having an existential crisis.

ohmygod all this time my CRUSH thought I HATED HER because I couldn’t function like a normal human being in front of her because of how much I liked her until i gave her some ALMONDS what is wrong with me? what kind of entity that controls the universe could hate me so much to pull THIS kind of sick prank on me?

‘wait if you didn’t hate me why would you always act so weird in front of me?’

‘BECAUSE-’ peter tangles his fingers into his hair, and he kicks his chair, sending it halfway across his room from frustration.

‘how could you possibly think I hated you??? how could you possibly think ANYONE could hate you??? you’re single handedly the only good person in this godforsaken school full of IDIOTS and BULLIES! nobody could ever hate you, y/n, and certainly not ME!’

perhaps he is using an excessive amount of hand gestures, but it gets his point across.

‘wha-? what do yo-?’

‘wHat are you TALKING ABOUT?’ you say, slowly turning just as frustrated as peter.

‘if there’s ANYONE that’s decent in this ‘godforsaken school full of idiots’ it would be YOU, peter parker!! nobody would just pay attention to what I EAT so I wouldn’t get HUNGRY during a study session oKaY!! you’re so CONFUSING! every time I accept the fact that you don’t like me back you pull this bullshit, essentially making me rethink ALL MY FEELINGS!’ you say, going through the room (stepping over the toppled chair), just to jab a finger onto peter’s chest.

suddenly both of you are aware of your flushed cheeks and your close proximity.

‘wha- WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?’ peter basically shrieks, and you would not be surprised if all of New York managed to hear that scream.

your cheeks darken as you awkwardly step back from him, realising that you accidentally outed yourself.

‘um- i mean,’ you stumble on the fallen chair as you desperately walk backwards with your hands behind your back to avoid peter’s piercing gaze.

*you’re not good at confrontation okay*

‘you like me?? wait wait, you like ME?’ you frown a little as you look at peter’s incredulous expression.

‘well yeah, you don’t have to rub it in like that, I know you don’t like me back.’ You mumble, looking away.

‘don’t like yo- OH MY GOD!’

this time peter stalks all the way across the room, looking you dead straight in the eye.

‘you better not be joking with me, y/n.’

you squeak out a small ‘no’ or something like that because you can’t really focus with peter looking down at you like that.

‘you mean to tell me, my stupid fat, nervous crush on you was mistaken for HATRED, and all this time I’ve been thinking I have no chance with you, but you’ve been crushing on me too all this time?’ his words come out jumbled, and a little fast, but you can decipher the general meaning.

peter parker likes you… too.

oh GOD WAT

he clears his throat, biting his lip and you can just tell he’s about to apologise, because peter’s a complete angel who probably doesn’t want you feeling uncomfortable.

‘um- uh, y- oomph!’

and in this shocking turn of events, you execute the only spontaneous thing you’ve ever done in your life and pray that it ends up well.

you lean forward and press your lips to peter’s, hoping to whatever superior being there is that this was a good decision.

spoiler alert: it was

peter.exe has shut down because all of a sudden your lips are against his and oh wow this is so much better than all those times he’s imagined it happening because it’s actually happening now.

your hands find their way to peter’s curls that he was trying so hard to get under control an hour ago but now he can’t remember why he doesn’t like his hair if it’s just going to be tugged on by you like this from now on.

he grabs you by the waist and pulls you closer to him, pretty much pressing his body against yours.

not that you’re complaining.

and god if peter died from suffocation right now that would be a heavenly way to go, and he would be a-ok with dying if it meant finally being in your arms.

you pull away from peter, both of you slightly panting before you burst out in giggles, resting your head and letting it fall on peter’s shoulder.

‘oh my god, we’re such idiots, aren’t we?’

peter hums in agreement before lifting your chin up to kiss you again.

bonus: boyfriend! peter

definitely still stares at you in science class except now whenever you catch him staring he just shoots you a lazy grin

because yEa he has FULL RIGHTS to stare at you now because you’re his GIRLFRIEND.

you find out he’s spiderman pretty much immediately let’s be real this boy is not the best at hiding secrets

especially from his GIRLFRIENDS whomst he loves VERY MUCH.

this boy also gives you anxiety attacks whenever you see spiderman on the news saving people, getting hurt and shit, but he understands.

sends you a text before and after he gets in the suit whenever he can.

most certainly uses his spidey-powers for things they were not intended to be used for.

to visit his girlfriend so she can give him cuddles at any time why what were you guys thinking about hMmmMMMmmmM?

likes to show you off but also gets very blushy and shy about PDA

pretty much had a seizure the first time you held hands.

ned almost fainted when he heard the news (aka peter rushed to call him the second you left that night you kissed because these bitches are very gossipy)

peter parker is the ultimate clingy boyfriend.

……

and you love it.

your science teacher no longer puts you in the same group or partners you guys up now though.

because now you can’t study together, you literally can’t keep your hands off each other.

sometimes when peter is feeling ~particularly clingy he just nuzzles into the crook of your neck during lunch, and pulls you to him so you’re pretty much on his lap.

and MJ is just like yall r disgusTING

right in front of my salad.

in conclusion, peter parker loves you and you love him.

it’s honestly kind of sickening,

but you love that too.

37 notes · View notes

shy-marker-pliers · 5 years ago

Text

High school AU thingamabob

Dark

17 year old senior

class president and is kinda high and mighty about it tbh

“yes i know student council can’t really make any changes without the input of the superintendent but IM THE PRESIDENT AND YOU’RE NOT SO SUCK MY DI-“

does sound/lights for all the shows the school puts on

dating wilford and no one knows how or why they’re together

had a deep as hell voice and a beard the second he hit puberty

takes every ethics/psychology class he can

wants to be a lawyer

that one kid that everyone fears but is actually kinda chill if not a little surly

wears a collared shirt and tie to school every day and would totally get made fun of for it if he wasn’t terrifying

listens to classical music unironically

“oh my god i’m so going to fail this test” *proceeds to get the highest grade in the class*

protector of the gays™️

person: *says something mean to a student because they’re lgbtq+*

Dark: *teleports in front of said student* omae wa mou shindeiru

Wilford

19 year old senior

Yes he still has the mustache

doesn’t give a fuck about what anyone thinks of him

deadass wore a dress to school after one of his friends got made fun of because she wore a suit to a school dance

b u f f a s h e l l

could bench press a teacher if he really tried

on the cheer team

“no i’m not wearing pants, this miniskirt makes my ass look great!”

everyone’s bodyguard

usually attracts a crowd of nervous underclassmen

has mild dyslexia

tol

gives his friends piggyback rides

president of the drama club

works hard enough in school to pass his classes but that’s pretty much it

sleeps in class

Bim

15 year old freshman

vice president of the drama club

wilfords shadow

first freshman to help run the drama club and shoves it in everyone’s face

shouts his gayness from the rooftops

secretly super insecure

loves plants and helps out in the schools greenhouse

named all of the plants but if you tell anyone he’ll stab you

gets mostly B’s and C’s

has mild ocd but not enough to affect him severely

talks like a game show host cause he thinks it makes him sound attractive

it doesn’t

Google(s)

16 year old juniors

identical quadruplets

they have to wear different colors every day or else no one knows which one is which

they’re called the googles because their backpacks match the colors of the chrome logo and they’re super smart

straight A 4.0 GPA students but Oliver has to try a little harder than his brothers

all of them are in the robotics team except for ollie

Blue works on programming and red and green are on the build team

Ollie is the sweetest day of sunshine to ever exist and everyone loves him

he’s basically adopted Eric as his lil bro

tutors people in the library every tuesday and thursday

the other googles disapprove of his relationship with bing but he makes ollie happy so they don’t do anything about it

they all work in a supermarket and they’re saving up for college

ollie wants to be a vet, red and green want to be engineers, and blue wants to be a web developer

Bing

17 year old junior

mostly A’s, a few B’s.

his full name is zachary bing but people call him bing because he’s always trying to one up the googles

dudebro

was pining after ollie for months before chase finally felt sorry for him and told ollie how he felt

they’re dating now and it’s adorable

so soft for his boyf

a really good skater and wins a lot of local competitions

doesn’t study but still gets p good grades

wears sunglasses all the time because he has light sensitivity

Has ADHD

s t r o n k

always challenges people to arm wrestle him

can sing really well and plays gitaur

shares a youtube channel with chase where they skate and to challenges and stuff

Dr. ipiler

18 year old senior

Everyone calls him doc because he helps the school nurse and takes every single biology and health class there is

all A’s

really wants to be a surgeon

best friends with Schneep

huge star trek/harry potter nerd (ravenclaw if you’re wondering)

almost always at schneep’s house studying or just chillin’

kind of a control freak

thinks he’s charismatic but he’s actually kinda annoying

but annoying in a funny way

has a pet ferret that he sneaks into school

feral

espresso and sugar flows through his veins

“i actually got a good sleep last night.” “oh really?” “yeah bro i got a whole half hour!”

super dark bags under his eyes

Host

17 year old junior

all A’s except for in gym class

he has eyes in this

his real name is Simon Charles Teller (there are specific meanings to those names btw look them up) but he’s called The Host because he does morning announcements every day.

has gold eyes and a lot of people find it unnerving

“hey i have a podcast you should totally listen to it”

nocturnal

spends all of his free time in the library

always reading in class but the teachers don’t really care bc his grades are good and he does his homework

wants to be an english/poetry teacher

crushing on the cute shy kid from his english class

doesn’t talk much but he’ll still be nice to you

that one kid who’s always correcting the teachers

Runs the D&D club (he’s the dungeon master)

Eric Derekson

16 year old junior

Mostly high B’s, a couple of A’s.

lives with his uncle mark after he ran away from his abusive dad and is living a happy life

the guy that always volunteers to take care of the class pets over the weekend

animals love him

has anxiety, mild paranoia and autism.

animals, harry potter, and pokémon are his hyperfixations.

he also really likes gardening

crushing big time on hostioli

spends his entire english class staring at him and blushing

is seriously considering joining D&D club just to be able to talk to him

he’s in the art club

wants to be a vet and maybe do some freelance art stuff on the side

Ollie keeps yelling at him to just ask host out already but he’s too nervous

my poor bb boi

Wears sweaters all the time

wears headphones to block out noise if it ever gets too loud at he goes into sensory overload

disaster bi

Yan

18 year old senior

gets C’s

non-binary

has a makeup tutorial channel on youtube and has a pretty decent following

That one weeb

dyes their hair a new color every week

also has a new crush every week

everyone knows who their newest victim is because they never stop watching them

draws anime or cute animals for every art class

wants to be a a fashion designer

does MMA

everyone kinda stears clear of them

writes their first initial along with their crush’s on every notebook they own

has gotten suspended for beating kids up on multiple occasions

doesn’t really have that many friends but they don’t mind

spends their lunches watching their crush

in the drama club and the art club

Randall Voorhees

18 year old senior

C’s and D’s

Eric’s cousin/bodyguard

they have a lot of the same classes and walk everywhere together

loves animals and has like 10 pet rats

he doesn’t really care about his grades because he knows that he wants to be a woodworker/construction guy

makes little houses out of scrap wood for his rats and Eric thinks it’s adorable

always sneaks his rats to school and lets them have play dates with dr. iplier’s ferret

“nO IM NOT RELATED TO JASON VOORHEES HES NOT EVEN REAL SO SHUT THE HELL UP-“

used to live in nyc in queens and still has a pretty strong accent

completely incomprehensible when he’s excited or angry bc of the accent

everyone is jealous of his hair

spends like 100 dollars on shampoo and conditioner and stuff but it’s worth it

acts like the straightest guy in existence but could not be more gay

his boots are always muddy

Yancy

16 year old sophomore

his name is Yancy Bird

g...get it? like jailbird? ahaha...ok i’ll stop

permanent resident of the detention room

but he gets to just chill out and read for an hour so he doesn’t really mind

mostly gets detention for beating up kids that bully others

fuck the system

always wears a leather jacket and blue jeans

“hey, the 50’s called and they want their-“ SMACK. “shut up.”

takes a lot of criminal justice and psychology classes ironically

in the botany club but if you tell anyone they’ll never find your body

everyone is surprised when they find out he’s friends with Eric and ollie

pan but in denial

“i’m not gay guys, that ain’t me, i’m just comfortable with my sexuality. so i can admit when i see a guy with a handsome face and pretty eyes-“

that song is great btw you should listen to it

anyway

always makes really dark jokes and everyone is like “are you ok?”

except for his friends they just laugh

“lmao wouldn’t it be funny if everyone like...died”

#markiplier #markiplier egos #darkiplier #eric derekson #the host #wilford warfstache #yancy iplier #randall voorhees #bim trimmer #high school

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ashlannaughty · 4 years ago

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⌠ DREW RAY TANNER, 24, CISMALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, ASHLAN NOTLEY! according to their records, they’re a SECOND year, specializing in DRIVER’S ED + SEDUCTION AND FLIRTATION; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (pristine balenciaga sneakers, an over-sized historical biography & wintergreen tic tacs). when it’s the (aquarius)’s birthday on 2/14/1996, they always request their HONEY GARLIC PORK CHOPS from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation.

he’s back and for that...i have no justification. personality-wise nothing has changed, sorries.

here’s a link to his Doc so go nuts!

but also a bad vague tl;dr yet again.

his mother was a spy (a gallagher girl ofc) who married a Civilian and she retired when she got pregnant with ashlan

he’s an only child so his mother never told him about her life as a spy bc she was anti blackthorne (bc she’s smart<3) and she didn’t think he should go to gallagher and she thinks going to school for it before diving in is very important!!!

ashlan’s parents divorced when he was in hs so his mother moved to new york city and he and his father stayed in melbourne. he ended up going to university in aus and studied history

he’s a huge history nerd but i am not so let’s just have fun!

one day his mother was like...............you should try to transferring to columbia because what if........you get in and she was bein weird about it but he was like okay lol and he got in because he’s smart (allegedly) and his grades were good but mostly because he knows a few languages and was in 8237846 clubs and is also athletic so they were like?? a one of a kind genius also his mom had gallagher ties to columbia because that sounds........believable......

then ofc gallagher opened up to boys and his mom was like. btw i Actually was a spy, not a microbiologist forever like u thot and you should go train to be a spy and he was like o word? because he likes trying new things clearly (even though highkey history is his one true Passion)

he was here last year so now he’s a second year the end

@gallagherintro

#gallagher:intro #still not sure abt all that but

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jeffxwittek · 6 years ago

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Face Down (Part 2) | Jeff x Reader x Boyfriend

A/N: i’m mad at myself for not double checking that google docs saved what i added in part one, so i guess i just have to attempt from here to fix the mess part 1 was... hope you enjoy? - oh and the first part doesnt have jeff but JEFF ALL THE WAY IN THE SECOND HALF I PROMISE. not as much fluff as i would like in this. and also heres a link to the song face down since i didn’t put it with part 1 as well -- part 3 is def gonna happen btw

Plot: It’s the day after your friends found out how your boyfriend treats you and they are trying hard to be supportive, especially Jeff. (Under KEEP READING cuz it’s kinda long?) Warnings: Mentions of abuse (physical & verbal), cheating (i’m against it, but it worked with the story)

You’re sleeping on the couch in David’s living room as you hear the quick footsteps of Natalie and David moving around in the kitchen in attempts to not wake you. You open your eyes and don’t move as to not surprise your two friends. You just lay silent and listen to them have their conversation

“I never liked him,” you hear Natalie say in a blunt whisper.

“None of us did. We just didn’t think he was hurting her,” you notice him sigh and hear him put something down on the counter.

“It must have broken Jeff last night to see what went down,” Natalie says.

Jeff? Why would Jeff be broken? Yes, he’s my friend so he cares about me, but broken? You run through the thought process as you continue to silently lay on the couch.

“For a guy who puts up a front of being this bad-ass ex-convict, he’s totally soft when it comes to Y/N. He won’t actually admit it though,” David states.

You know it’s time to let them know you’re awake and raise your arm above the back cushion of the couch. “’Morning,” you greet them with a raspiness in your voice. You slide off the couch and make your way into the kitchen to meet with them.

David and Natalie both look surprised like they were caught doing or saying something they weren’t supposed to.

You nod your head over to the coffee maker. “May I?”

They both respond in unison, “Yeah.”

You pull a mug from the cabinet above and pour yourself coffee and head over to the fridge for some milk. “So,” you turn around to them and place the coffee and milk on the counter. “I want to say that I’m sorry for last night. Thomas and I had been fighting all day. We really shouldn’t have come last night. I didn’t mean to cause a scene. I feel horrible about putting you all in the middle of that. I just thought that if we were around other people it would stop the bickering for a couple hours, but I guess not. He’s just stressed out at work and I upset him and--.” You quickly get cut off by David.

“Y/N. No. Don’t apologize. You did nothing wrong. You came over here to hang out and have a fun time with your friends and that douchebag ruined it.” David says trying to comfort you.

“He’s really not that bad. I know the past couple times he’s been around it seems that way, but he’s just rough around the edges. He’s not horrible. I promise”

David rolls his eyes and lets out a sigh. “Not horrible? Y/N. Listen to me. I’ve seen plenty of people in my life be in fucked up relationships and I can see that he doesn’t treat you right. We call can. We just never suspected he was hurting you.”

You act taken about. “Hurting me?” You almost yell the question. “He’s not hurting me!”

“Then how’d you get the bruise, Y/N?” Natalie jumps in.

“On my chest? Like I told Corinna last night, I dropped my curling iron! Not a big deal! It slipped!” You walk past David and Natalie towards the front door.

“Where are you going?!” David yells after you. “We’re trying to help you!”

You spin back around to look at the two of them. “If you were trying to help, you would listen. Everything’s fine! We’re just in a rough patch right now.” You slide on your shoes from the night before and grab your purse before looking at them again. “Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to go back home to my boyfriend.” You sigh and look at David. “Thank you for the coffee. I’ll see you later.” You walk out of the house and slam the door without another word or looking back.

The moment you step outside though, you realize Thomas drove you here and you have no way back home. You could call him, but he would try to fight with you the whole time. An Uber? Too expensive. You look down at your phone and try to think of who to call. Jeff. You remember the conversation with him last night and he said if you need anything, to tell him. You open your contacts and scroll to his name. You hover your thumb over his name for a second before hitting the screen and putting the phone up to your ear. You feel like it rings forever before it picks up on the other end.

“Hello?” You hear a muffled, tired voice on the other end.

“Oh. Geez. I’m sorry. Did I wake you? I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. I’ll call someone else. Go back to bed.” You start to pull the phone away from your ear as you hear him say something.

“No, no. It’s okay. I need to get up anyway and feed Nerf. What’s up?” Jeff sounds concerned as the words escape from his mouth.

You’re quiet for a second unsure what to actually say and just breath into the phone.

“Y/N. Are you okay?” Jeff says as you hear him moving things around on his end.

“Um, yeah. I just-- Could you pick me up at David’s? I didn’t know who else to call.”

“I’ll be right there. Meet you at the curb?”

“Meet you at the curb. Thank you, Jeff.” You hang up the phone and make your way down David’s driveway and past his gate to wait at the curb for Jeff.

It feels like forever before Jeff pulls up and you climb into the passenger seat. “Thank you so much for picking me up. Thomas left with the car last night and so I had no way home.”

“It’s no problem. I would have been here sooner but I had to stop for this.” He picks a coffee cup out of the middle cupholder and hands it to you. “White mocha, extra whip cream.”

“You didn’t have have to get me coffee,” You say as you take the cup from him. “But, thank you.” You take a long sip as the warm liquid fills your body and you instantly feel better after the argument you had with Natalie and David. “How’d you know I like white mocha’s?”

Jeff let’s out a small laugh. “Because that’s the only thing ya order anytime we go anywhere and ya refuse to go to the coffee shop around the corner because they don’t have it on their menu.” He starts to pull away from the curb and drive down the road.

“What kind of coffee place doesn’t have a white mocha?” You almost scream. “It’s essential to have on any coffee menu.” You take another sip of the drink before placing it back in the cupholder. “Thank you again, though.”

Silence fills the car for a minute before Jeff finally speaks up. “So you and Thomas. What’s the deal?”

“What do you mean?” You respond acting oblivious to the situation that played out the night before.

“I don’t mean to be blunt, Y/N.” He sighs and you see him fiddle with his fingers on the steering wheel. “But, does he hurt ya? Physically?”

There it is. The one question everyone wanted to ask last night. Your mind thinks and attempts to come up with a lie, yet you come up with nothing.

“I provoke him. It’s really not his fault. I just need to be careful on what I do and say.” You’re silent for a moment. “Plus I need to be careful on what I wear and who I talk to. Those are just some things that upset him.” You hear no response from Jeff, but you see him drive right past your street. “Jeff! Where are you going?”

“I’m taking you to my place,” Jeff says as he continues to drive to his apartment.

“You can’t make me go to your apartment. Pull over and I’ll just get out here,” You say with demand in your tone.

Jeff pulls into a parking lot and stops his car. As you reach for the door handle he locks the car. “What the fuck, Jeff?” You almost yell at him and pound your foot on the floorboard of his car.

He turns to look at you after pulling his keys out of the ignition. “First, stop acting like a child. Second, tell me why ya wanna go back to see him. And third, can’t ya tell I’m tryin’ help ya?” He looks at you with pleading eyes and reaches for your hand and you quickly pull away.

“He’s my boyfriend. Even if we don’t always get along, we’re together and I need to go home and see him.” You let out a heavy sigh you didn’t know you were holding in and whisper to yourself, “I just hope he’s still not mad about last night.

“Damnit, Y/N. Can’t ya see that you deserve so much better? You’re smart and funny and energetic. You light up a room when you walk into it. Find someone who matches that and will help bring those qualities out more.”

“And who’s gonna do that, Jeff? People aren’t really lined up to date me. If you can’t tell, I’m kind of a mess and--.”

Next thing you know Jeff’s lips are crashing into your’s and you find your arms quickly wrapping around his neck. You can suddenly smell the mixture of toothpaste and coffee from his breath and feel how his lips are slightly chapped.

Fuck. What am I doing? I’m with Thomas! But, this feels amazing. You run through your head everything that makes this so wrong and so right at the same time. After what feels like forever, you pull away and see Jeff quickly wipe his bottom lip with his thumb.

“I-- Um-- I’m sorry.” Jeff stutters out the words and fumbles with his keys picking them up from the dashboard. “I shouldn’t have done that.” He nervously puts the keys back in the ignition and starts the car. After backing up and starting his way out of the parking lot, he tells you he’ll take you back to your apartment. “If ya really wanna go back home, I’ll take ya. But I need ya to promise that the moment something happens, ya give me a call.”

“Can we actually just go to your place right now?” You reach for his arm that’s now sitting on the middle console. You suddenly wanted to be with Jeff a little longer. “I think some hanging out away from Thomas a little longer is something I need.”

“Of course. My apartment it is.”

The rest of the drive is silent, yet you feel at peace knowing you don’t have to go back home to your boyfriend just yet.

—

Soon enough Jeff is parking his car in the parking garage and jumps out to run to your side of the car before you can unbuckle. He opens the door for you and helps you out.

“Well, thank you, sir,” you joke as you shift your purse strap onto your shoulder. You follow Jeff up the stairs to his place and walk in to notice bits and pieces that you’ve only ever seen in videos.

You place your purse against the wall by the front door and follow Jeff into his kitchen. “Um, I don’t mean to bother you about this. But do you have anything I could change into?” You look down at your jeans and shirt from the night before. “I’m just a bit uncomfortable.”

“Yea. Be right back.” Jeff disappears for a moment and comes back with a large t-shirt and sweats. “I tried to find the smallest sweats I had, so I hope these work.”

You take the clothes from Jeff and thank him before making your way to the bathroom to change. You look in the bathroom mirror and notice that your makeup is smeared and your hair is a mess. You use some tissues to wipe off your makeup and comb your hair with your fingers before putting it up into a bun. You change into the t-shirt and sweats only to find that the sweats drop straight back down to your ankles. At least the shirt covers my butt, you think to yourself. You walk out of the bathroom and notice Jeff sitting on the couch with the TV on. You put your folded clothes by your bag and walk over to him.

He notices you walk over and quickly realizes you’re not wearing pants. “Sweats too big?”

“Just a tad. I can throw my jeans back on if you want me to,” you say as you point over towards your stuff.

Jeff shakes his head. “No, no. It’s okay. C’mon and sit.” He pats the couch cushion right next to him.

You sit down next to him and plop your feet up on the coffee table. “So, about that kiss--”

“I’m so sorry about that. I shoulda taken the cue you were upset.” He turns to look at you and you can tell he really is sorry.

“It’s okay. It pulled me out of my little panic mode.”

“But, I did notice something.”

“And what’s that?” You look at him and cock your head to the side intrigued with what he’s about to say.

He licks his top lip and adjusts himself to face you, placing his arm on the back of the couch. “You kissed me back,” he says with a smirk.

You close your eyes for a moment and let a long breath out. “That I did.”

Jeff rubs the back of his neck with his and you can tell he’s nervous. “I know this may be inappropriate, but can I kiss ya again? Saying no is okay.”

You squeeze your lips together suddenly very thankful for the lip treatments you’ve been doing at home. You lean in and gently kiss Jeff and can’t help but smile at how warm his lips feel. Next thing you know his hands are on your waist and pulling you onto his lap. You let out a small laugh and pull away from his lips. “Should we be doing this?” You look at him with questioning eyes and hope he gives you the answer you want.

“Only if ya want to,” he says.

You’re silent for a moment. “I want to.” You grab his cheeks in your hands. “I really want to.”

—

Next thing you know an alarm is going off and as you open your eyes Jeff is rolling over to grab his phone. You suddenly remember that you haven’t checked your phone since Jeff picked you up the day before. Fuck. You run to check your phone and have what seems like 100 messages from Thomas.

“Nice job being a bitch last night.”

“Having fun with your idiot friends?”

“Not replying? Fine. Make me angry.”

“Do you like pissing me off?”

“Where the hell are you Y/N? Stop being a baby and come home.”

“You are in for so much shit when I see you.”

Your mind is racing as you read through all the messages of anger and threats sent to you. As your vision is beginning to be impaired by tears filling your eyes, you feel a set of strong hands on your shoulders and you jump while letting out a scream.

“Hey, hey. It’s just me.” Jeff spins you around and lifts your chin so you make eye contact with him. “It’s just me. You’re okay.” He goes to rub your upper arm before he notices your phone and all the messages that Thomas has sent. He grabs the phone from your hand and starts to read them.

“Jeff!” You yell with a crack in your voice and attempt to reach for your phone. “Give that to me! It’s private!”

“Y/N. He’s threatening ya. This isn’t normal. This isn’t healthy!” He places the phone in his pocket. “You’re not getting this back right now. Ya need to separate yourself from him.”

You start hitting his chest with your fists and screaming. “Jeff! Give me my phone! I need my phone! I need to go home! He’s mad!” You can feel your cheeks turning red and notice your limbs going week as you fall into Jeff. You let out a small crying whimper.

Jeff finds his way to the ground and holds you close to him and rubs your arms and back calming you down. “Look what he’s doing do you, Y/N.”

“I don’t know what to do.” You cry into his chest while trying to catch your breath.

Jeff let’s out a heavy sigh. “We’ll figure something out, Y/N. I promise.” He continues to rub your back while your tears fade away and you fall asleep right there in his lap while he sits on the floor.

#jeff wittek #jeff wittek imagine #vlog squad imagine #the vlog squad imagine #vlog squad #the vlog squad

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mtvswatches · 5 years ago

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Wynonna Earp 1x13 I Walk the Line

Wynonna Earp 1x12 House of Memories

Spoilers disclaimer (please read before sending messages or writing comments.)

Click here for previous recaps!

Stray thoughts

1) Well…

Can you shoot them?

Yes.

Should you shoot them?

Also yes.

Do they need to be shot?

Yas.

2) They just threw her out of the window! Priceless!

3) Noononononononono

4) So… for a second there it seemed as though Bobo would be able to cross the threshold but then he started burning up, and I thought: “Yes! That means that Willa is NOT the true heir!” But of course, they needed Peacemaker, and she was like “but I have it” and again I was “Yes! That means that Willa is NOT the true heir!” but… it wasn’t the real Peacemaker. Bless Waverly – I’m assuming it was her who came up with this idea… - but when exactly did she pull off the switcharoo? Or did we see that and I just forgot about it?

5) Please tell me that’s not fucking Clootie…

Who would get her out of her comfy hole?! And more importantly, WHY?

6) Oh, my god, bitch, you’d better die in this episode!!

I KNEW IT! I knew I shouldn’t trust you, you duplicitous wannabe-heir!

7) She’s so fucking disgusting, I can’t get over it????

WILLA: Maybe we have time for a quickie. You screw me, and then we screw this town.

For a second, I thought that she might be trying to play Bobo, but no, she’s just a fucking nasty bitch, that’s all.

8) Oooh, Doc is ready to pour some tea…

And Dolls’ explanation…?

It's just medicine. Look, I've taken this since I was a kid. It helps keep me alive and some parts of me dead.

9) Nicole just saw the weapons stash and got all wet. That’s my girl.

10) I also love her reaction to being brought up to speed. She was like, “Finally, thank you!” Like, seriously, it comes to a point in supernatural shows where it is disrespectful to the characters to keep them in the dark about the supernatural.

11) Seriously, dude, if anyone is a cancer is yourself, just take a look in the mirror.

12) So… Willa is still looking for Peacemaker so it can’t have been her who put Waverly to sleep and kidnapped her…

13) It was fucking Chrissy who got Waverly!

14) Ay, Wynonna, why aren’t all your alarms going off right now? Everything Willa has said so far is giving her away… She couldn’t care less about Waverly’s safety, she’s only concerned about getting Peacemaker back and she just wants to off all those “meatsticks” – her words – so I hope Wynonna is not that gullible…

15) Same initials as Jesus Christ? What’s this dude’s name?

16) So, on top of all the other evil things about him, Bobo’s also a pedophile, right? I mean, Willa must have been a teen when they “fell in love”, right? Can someone please help with the timeline?

17) So the bitch is showing her true colors…

I really love this! If I think back to episode one, I would’ve predicted that Waverly would be the optimistic, naïve sister in contrast to Wynonna’s cynicism and untrustworthiness. But Waverly is intuitive like Bobo said, and she is damn smart. So while everyone else was celebrating Willa’s return, she held her guard up and watched. Ugh, Waverly has the potential to be my favorite…

18) OMG the fucking bitch just shot Nicole!! After Wynonna gave up Peacemaker because WAVERLY SAID THAT SHE LOVED NICOLE!!!! I swear to God, if Willa is alive after this episode I’ll fucking go and murder her myself!

19) Oh thank god she was wearing a bulletproof vest! And she’s also got Wynonna’s approval…

20) Now, this?

This is rather epic…

21) I knew the Sheriff was going to stand up for Wynonna, he’s been slowly but surely turning into a somewhat decent man, has come a long way since his misogynistic remarks from episode one.

22) Guys, I’m really into this. Now Wynonna has to save all the townspeople, who are literally placing their lives on her hands. Like, it’s literally full circle since episode one and I’m loving it!

23) DOLLS ALSO GOT SHOT?! WTF IS THIS SHOW DOING?!!!

24) Oh, no worries, false alarm…

HE’S JUST A FUCKING MONSTER!

25) Okay, I’m genuinely scared of Dolls?

26) Why didn’t Dolls let Wynonna touch him? Are the drugs he’s taking contagious or something? Again, they really don’t seem like medicine…

27) I’m not gonna lie. I’m super excited about watching Doc and Wynonna teaming up and shooting up everyone’s assholes into hell.

28) WTF Waverly!

Is she really trying to reason with Bobo…?

29) Okay, so… Willa was thirteen… when Bobo “fell in love” with her…

30) Shit, I did not see that coming…

But at least he has some decency left in him, he protected her from Willa…

31) Oh, Waverly, I want to hug her…

32) So many Spuffy “Touched” vibes, the feels are real…

WYNONNA: Come on, Doc, spit it out. DOC: Spit what out? WYNONNA: You know, the rousing old-timey speech that's gonna make me believe I can take on my own sister. Come on. WWWD. What Would Wyatt Do? DOC: I once had a dog the name of Plucky. WYNONNA: Your big pep talk is "Plucky"?

33) ISTG! Why am I such trash for ships like this?!

34) Seriously, though, doesn’t this whole conversation give you Spuffy vibes?!

WYNONNA: Willa's got Peacemaker. Bobo's got telekinetic powers. What do we got?

DOC: Things that go boom.

WYNONNA: She's better than me, Doc. Faster. I don't think I can beat her.

DOC: But you are still gonna try.

WILLA: I have to.

DOC: Careful, Earp. Doing what's right even in the face of ridiculous odds? You are beginning to sound like a hero.

35) Okay, so… Dolls’ superiors want to kinda let Bobo cross the border and see what happens? And she called Dolls a monster, and I’m guessing it’s not a metaphor…

36) Bobo was ricocheting the bullets like fucking Neo or something and then…

A fucking grenade!!!

37) Wait…

That fucking JC guy said that if the heir crossed the limits with hatred in her heart they would all go to hell or something, didn’t he?!

38) Oh my fucking god Wynonna, just fucking shoot her!!

39) Dolls shot her…

And this snake thingy definitely has some Buffy vibes…

40) Oh, damn, this wasn’t as satisfying as I had expected…

41) Yep, this was epic…

But what does it mean about the borders?

42) And they’re taking both Bobo and Dolls…

43) “We know what you did.” What the fuck did she do?!

44) Wait, are they going to blow up the whole town?! Why did that bitch say “Boom”?

45) So… the revenants want to leave the triangle, but there are other thingies that want to get in…

46) …

She put him out of his misery… wtf!!! No more Bobo?! (and I’ve just realized how ridiculous that question sounds)

47) WTF!!

Waverly, why on earth would you touch a sticky substance in a hellhole like Purgatory?! And why is this show not over with the plot twists?!

48) WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

49) What an awesome season finale! I enjoyed literally every second of it, the surprises kept on coming and I didn’t have time to deal! I’ve got to so many questions?! Who’s the old one Bobo mentioned? What possessed Waverly? I’m positive she couldn’t have shot Wynonna, but who or what did she shoot? Is Bobo really gone? Or will he be back? Who’s Waverly’s father?! And how the hell is Wynonna going to manage to keep the revenants from getting out while guarding off the things that want to get in?

This show has everything that I love about supernatural shows, and I’m super into it! I can’t wait to start watching season 2!! And if you have any questions about my feelings/opinions about season 1 stuff, hit the ask box!

50) There are more comments in this recap than minutes in the episode, btw.

51) Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!

#Wynonna Earp #Waverly Earp #Doc Holliday #Willa Earp #Melanie Scrofano #mine #WE recap #WE 1x13 #I Walk the Line #A+ episode

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crystal-iceblossomxjackfrost4evr · 4 years ago

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*Tears*

I think ill show my bff this post cuz i domt think he rlly gets it. He thinks its a thing u can overcome. And yea ...it is... sme days.. most days or a lot of days feel more like this comic for me (i rlly do gotta see a doc again abt it but covid isnt helping)

Id known for years since i was a kid i had it but my dad took away my medicatioon when i was to young to understand what it rlly did and said i can be smart without it. Same with my therapist.

So for years and years i thought i just hyperactivity and an attention disorder and tht adhd stops at the name and this last since covud started and a lil b4 (and thanks to these comics) ive realized a loooooot of shit is way into the name then it sounds.

Its not just a learning disability. Its a whole goddamn mental disorder at this point and its both validating to learn im not just fucking crazy and absolutely depressing my dad knew what was wromg with me and did fucking nothing. And cuz of reasons bu the time i was older he started pushing gettimg my meds back but not FOR ME it was for him cuz he said im psycho to put in a mental instituion and tht everything abt me is wrong

So of Course i didnt want to or to go therapy unnder the guise of the fact he hates me ajd thinks im the dreaded R word (...retarded btw)

And noooow im kind of scared of the meds tho i have learned unconsciously how to deal with some things. And i do at lesst want a therapist again eventually (for more then just adhd) but ugh

Most days feel like this comic and just existing is difficult. Or doing simple tasks or projects i love get left behind or slowed down or swapped so often between them. but ill keep trying

Im in this post and it makes me sad :/ anyone else want a hug totes magotes at me. Lets reblog this and make a hug tree (not sure if it actually willl start but still) @firelord912 big brooo im startin with u for the hug treeeeeee!!!

for some, ADHD has its perks. but for others, it can be an overwhelming and destructive force. its hard having to “clean up” and organize your life when theres a constant pushback from your own brain!

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your-dietician · 3 years ago

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Best Day 4 sales at Walmart Deals for Days event 2021

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Prime Day might be over, but that certainly doesn’t mean the deals have run dry — in fact, they’re just as big as ever. Walmart’s Anti-Prime day sale, called Deals for Days, is chock full of discounts across the board. Here’s what’s in store for Day 4 of the sale, which btw ends…tonight!

The retail behemoth has slashed prices across categories. So whether you’re focused on a wardrobe refresh, a better work-from-home setup, tech to take along as you ramp up your workouts, kitchen appliances in need of replacement or more, Walmart has got you covered — with discounts as deep as 90 percent! There are still so many deals you can save big on.

Walmart will give you free shipping on orders of $35 or more. To score free shipping on all orders, plus lots more benefits including speedy delivery, sign up for Walmart+. Get a free 15-day trial here (a quick three-question survey will add on an additional two weeks for a solid 30 days of use).

Here are the best deals from Walmart’s Anti-Prime Day — Day 4 sale.

TVs

A 40-inch TV for $178? We’ll take it! (Photo: Walmart)

On sale for $178, down from $228, the Hisense 40-inch Class Full HD Roku Smart LED TV is undeniably sleek — with a near edge-to-edge 43-inch display (more picture, less frame). With an HD resolution at 1080p and DTS True Surround Sound, you’ll essentially have a movie theater-like experience at home, with colors that pop.

The built-in Roku streamer gives you instant access to thousands of video streaming channels, including Netflix, YouTube, Disney+, HBO Max, Prime Video, Hulu and ESPN+. It also has a few smart home features like voice search for hands-free navigation. That’s right: You can find your favorite TV shows and movies, just by speaking them into existence.

“Great TV. Once I selected ‘theater sound’ the clouds parted and there was entertainment bliss — OK, maybe that’s a bit extra, however, the sound did vastly improved,” shared a delighted five-star reviewer. “Perfect size for me. Easy setup and operation.”

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Check out more TV deals below:

Sony 32-inch Class HD LED Smart TV, $298 (was $350), walmart.com

TCL 32-inch 3-Series Class HD LED Roku Smart TV, $145 (was $200), walmart.com

Sceptre 40-inch Class Full HD LED TV, $155 (was $200), walmart.com

Samsung 43-inch Class 4K Ultra HD Smart QLED TV, $898 (was $1,000), walmart.com

Samsung 50-inch Class 4K The Frame QLED Smart TV, $1,198 (was $1,700), walmart.com

TCL 50-inch Class 5-Series 4K Ultra HD QLED Roku Smart TV, $528 (was $600), walmart.com

LG 55-inch Class 4K Ultra HD Smart OLED C1 Series TV, $1,497 (was $2,000), walmart.com

Sony 55-inch Class XBR55X800H Bravia 4K Ultra HD LED Android Smart TV, $798 (was $1,000), walmart.com

LG 65-inch Class 4K Ultra HD NanoCell Smart TV, $997 (was $1,200), walmart.com

Samsung 65-inch TU8300 Crystal Ultra HD 4K Smart TV, $648 (was $700), walmart.com

Headphones and earbuds

These Philips wireless earbuds are half price! (Photo: Walmart)

These Philips Wireless In-Ear Headphones are a handsome, waterproof option with a price that belies their high-performance quality: They’re on sale for just $30, down from $60. Yep, half price.

Walmart shoppers love everything about these cans: the sound, the comfy fit, the sturdy charging case. “I have had challenges finding in-ear phones that fit me well for a long time,” reported one fan. “I grabbed the chance to try these Philips Wireless In-Ear Headphones and I can say these are perfect! First off, I like the charging case, so you have power on the go when you need it. The headphones are super easy to pair both with my PC and my phone, and the sound is very good: The highs are not tinny and the bass is smooth…. Another quality product from Philips!”

What he said! You’ll never be juiceless with these Philips Wireless In-Ear Headphones — they offer up to 12 hours of playback. Impressive.

Check out more headphone and earbud deals below:

Beats Solo Pro Wireless Noise Canceling On-Ear Headphones, $149 (was $300), walmart.com

Apple AirPods Pro, $197 (was $249), walmart.com

Bietrun Wireless Bluetooth Earbuds, $26 (was $130), walmart.com

Philips Bass+ BH305 Wireless Active Noise Canceling Headphones, $40 (was $120), walmart.com

Meidong Bluetooth Noise-Canceling Over-Ear Headphones, $35 (was $70), walmart.com

Luxmo Bluetooth Headphones, $18 (was $36), walmart.com

Jelly Comb On Ear Headphones, $17 (was $50), walmart.com

Gaming

Save nearly a whopping 80 percent! (Photo: Walmart)

The NBA Playoffs are in full swing, so get all the basketball action your heart desires with NBA2K21 for PlayStation 4 — on sale for just $13, or $48 off at Walmart. That’s nearly a whopping 80 percent off! The game features all 30 NBA teams and your favorite players, including Damian Lillard, LeBron James, Anthony Davis, Steph Curry, James Harden, Gordon Hayward and more.

NBA 2K21 has all the gameplay you want, from multi-player online to one-on-one with you versus the game itself. It features all WNBA teams and players—such as Brittney Griner, Elena Delle Donne, Liz Cambag, and Nneka Ogwumike — for the first time ever!

“This is one of my favorites, and I couldn’t wait,” raved a delighted gamer. “…The storyline is dope for my character, graphics are dope as always. Just an overall great game .”

Check out more gaming deals below:

Luigi’s Mansion 3 (Nintendo Switch), $40 (was $50), walmart.com

Fire Emblem: Three Houses (Nintendo Switch), $40 (was $50), walmart.com

The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening (Nintendo Switch), $40 (was $60), walmart.com

Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games: Tokyo 2020 (Nintendo Switch), $39 (was $60), walmart.com

Outriders: Day One Edition (PS4), $40 (was $60), walmart.com

Madden NFL 21 (Xbox One), $20 (was $60), walmart.com

The Last of Us Part II (PS4), $30 (was $60), walmart.com

Liphom Gaming Headset, $29 (was $50), walmart.com

Grand Theft Auto V: Premium Edition (PS4), $15 (was $60), walmart.com

Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order (Xbox One), $20 (was $60), walmart.com

The Pillars of The Earth (PS4), $29 (was $45), walmart.com

Smart home

A “smart” way to wake up, in more ways than one: Save nearly 40 percent! (Photo: Walmart)

The Lenovo Smart Clock is powered with Google Assistant for seamless syncing to a smartphone. It can rouse you from your slumber with your favorite tunes, the weather, calendar reminders and events, and that podcast you love. Because, really, who couldn’t use some help getting out of bed?

“I have trouble waking up in the mornings and this alarm clock doesn’t disappoint,” raved a satisfied shopper. “I like the wake-up feature that gradually wakes you up and then gives you a morning update of the weather and all the morning news. I’m able to connect it to all my Google devices too.”

At nearly 40 percent off during Walmart’s Deals for Days shopping event — the Lenovo Smart Clock is down to $49 from $80.

Check out more smart-home deals below:

Google Nest Mini (second generation), $35 (was $49), walmart.com

Apple TV 4K (2020), $99 (was $169), walmart.com

Samsung Galaxy Watch Active 2 (44mm), $150 (was $279), walmart.com

Apple Watch Series 3 (GPS, 38mm), $169 (was $199), walmart.com

Razor Power A5 Electric-Powered Scooter, $119 (was $179), walmart.com

XODO Smart Home Security Surveillance Kit, $60 (was $80), walmart.com

XODO Smart Wi-Fi Video Doorbell Wireless Security Camera, $90 (was $150), walmart.com

TSV Smart Plug (two-pack), $18 (was $26), walmart.com

Defender Ultra HD 4K Wired Outdoor Security System (1TB), $260 (was $450), walmart.com

Anself Wireless Burglar Alarm, $20 (was $28), walmart.com

Fymall Wi-Fi Smart Color LED Light Bulb, $11 (was $24), walmart.com

Home office

Take note of this Lenovo Chromebook — save $80! (Photo: Walmart)

Just need a product that will reliably, consistently do what you need it to, without all the exotic (and expensive) bells and whistles? If you’re one of those people and you’re in the market for an entry-level machine that’ll get you, or a loved one, through a day of work, look to the Lenovo Chromebook S330. On sale for $159, or $80 off, at Walmart, it boots up quick, has a quad core processor, 32 GB of storage and a glorious 14-inch HD display. It’s great for watching YouTube and Netflix, and is powerful enough for Google Docs, Google Sheets, Google Slides and more. It’s ultra-portable too, weighing in at a svelte 3.3 lbs. and less than an inch thick.

And have we mentioned its 10-hour battery life? This guy will. “I decided to give it a try. I am not sorry I did! I’m very impressed,” raved a delighted five-star reviewer. “I still have a desktop PC for my main computer but for the things that I need a laptop for, this fits the bill perfectly! It does everything I need and doesn’t do the things that I disliked about my previous laptops. It boots quickly, runs cool (without a fan!) and gives me amazing battery life! I’m very pleased!”

Check out more home office deals below:

Gateway Ultra Slim Notebook, $399 (was $749), walmart.com

Samsung CB4 Chromebook, $159 (was $199), walmart.com

Canon Pixma G4210 Wireless MegaTank All-In-One InkJet Printer, $300 (was $400), walmart.com

Cabina HD USB Desktop Webcam, $60 (was $70), walmart.com

Ousgar 47-inch White Desk, $80 (was $300), walmart.com

Kuku Mobile Call Center Telephone USB Headset, $28 (was $40), walmart.com

Beyerdynamic MMX 300 2nd Gen Conference Call Headset, $282 (was $422), walmart.com

Gamma Ray Optics 010 Slim Vintage Computer Readers, $18 (was $25), walmart.com

Hemu Fashion Bamboo Laptop Lap Tray, $38 (was $102), walmart.com

Vacuums

Get this robovac for half price! (Photo: Walmart)

An eye-opening 50 percent off, the Anker Eufy RoboVac 35C Wi-Fi Connected Robot Vacuum’s BoostIQ technology helps navigate your home’s surfaces, including hardwood floors to rugs and beyond, with smooth transitions. And while it never loses suction, when it senses the need for extra oomph — like when crumbs are overtaking the kitchen floor or pet hair is embedded in the rug — it’ll amp up its power to get the job done.

“Albuquerque dust is a pernicious beast. I also have two dogs and a slew of resident dust bunnies, so this is a big help,” shared a Walmart shopper. “It gets the dog hair and dust up easily — slightly appalled at how much dust came up after a regular broom sweeping. The edging function works great — clears out stuff from the bottom of the walls with ease. I have concrete floors and it scoots over it fine; has gotten itself successfully untangled from under the kitchen table…I talk to it like one of the dogs: ‘Oh, don’t forget that speck in the hall.’ ‘Good job.’ At least I haven’t named it (yet).”

The Eufy RoboVac 35C is super slim, so it’s a ninja when it comes to getting into every crevice and corner — and it has an infrared sensor for identifying things in its way, like stairs.

Check out more vacuum deals below:

BISSELL Crosswave Pet Pro Wet Dry Vacuum, $229 (was $299), walmart.com

Bissell Pet Hair Eraser Slim Corded, $99 (was $199), walmart.com

Shark ION Robot Vacuum RV750, $148 (was $299), walmart.com

iHome AutoVac Eclipse G 2-in-1 Robot Vacuum and Mop, $179 (was $400), walmart.com

Eureka Groove 4-Way Control Robotic Vacuum, $129 (was $199), walmart.com

iHome AutoVac Nova Self Empty Robot Vacuum and Mop, $299 (was $599), walmart.com

ILife A4s Robot Vacuum Cleaner, $119 (was $180), walmart.com

Mighty Rock Robot Vacuum and Mop, $73 (was $130), walmart.com

ionvac SmartClean 2000 Robovac, $99 (was $180), walmart.com

ILife V5s Pro Robot Vacuum and Mop, $135 (was $180), walmart.com

EcoVacs DeeBot 711 Robot Vacuum Cleaner, $144 (was $550), walmart.com

Style

Reduced to $8 from $98. Get it in all three colors! (Photo: Walmart)

No, you’re not seeing things: This gorgeous Max Studio frock is on sale for 8 bucks! It has a billowy tiered skirt and a peasant-inspired tassel-tie neckline. It’s available in chambray and bright yellow shade, but of course, we’re partial to this fun poppy red hue. Note: Some shoppers say it’s a little short, but you can wear it with biker shorts or leggings underneath — or just as a bikini coverup.

Did we mention it’s $90 off?!

“Comfortable,” a shopper reported. “Like the bright color. I’m wearing it in Mexico in a few weeks!”

Check out more style deals below:

Scoop Women’s Espadrille Wedge Sandal, $20 (was $35), walmart.com

Zanea Womens Polka Dot Short Sleeve Long Dress, $24 (was $48), walmart.com

KOGMO Womens Premium Cotton Full Length Leggings, $12 (was $18), walmart.com

Status by Chenault Women’s Cotton Slub Jersey with Cotton Eyelet Dress, $26 (was $78), walmart.com

Cate & Chloe McKenzie 18k White Gold Dangling Earrings, $18 (was $136), walmart.com

Melrose Ave Vegan Leather Toe Loop Strappy Flat Sandal, $22 (was $29), walmart.com

Free Assembly Women’s Sleeveless Square Neck Fit & Flare Dress, $21 (was $36), walmart.com

Kitchen

Save $26 on this incredible indoor grill. (Photo: Walmart)

Summertime is the season of grilling, but if you don’t want to mess around with your charcoal and lighter fluid every time you want a juicy steak or burger, try this indoor grill for size. This Gotham Steel grill has a titanium and ceramic surface which helps distribute heat evenly, plus four temperature settings so you can easily adjust how you want your meats and veggies cooked. Plus, it’s super easy to store, too.

“I just made hamburgers on this grill and it worked like a charm!” a shopper declared. “The burgers didn’t stick and it was truly smokeless as it cooked. Cleanup was also a breeze. Although it is dishwasher safe, it was just as easy to clean it up by hand with some soapy water. Definitely recommend!”

Check out more kitchen deals below:

Tramontina Primaware 18 Piece Non-stick Cookware Set, Steel Gray, $40 (was $50), walmart.com

Instant Pot Viva Black Multi-Use 9-in-1 6 Quart Pressure Cooker, $59 (was $99), walmart.com

The Pioneer Woman Cowboy Rustic 14-Piece Forged Cutlery Knife Block Set, $39 (was $70), walmart.com

Chefman TurboFry Air Fryer, $69 (was $99), walmart.com

The Pioneer Woman Mazie 2-Piece Ceramic Red Rectangle Baker Set, $20 (was $25), walmart.com

Farberware 3.2 Quart Oil-Less Multi-Functional Air Fryer, $60 (was $99), walmart.com

Ninja 12 Cup Programmable Coffee Brewer, $69 (was $79), walmart.com

Best Choice Products 16.9qt 1800W 10-in-1 Family Size Air Fryer, $115 (was $255), walmart.com

Hamilton Beach 12 Cup Digital Automatic LCD Programmable Coffeemaker Brewer, $73 (was $105), walmart.com

Beauty

Get over half off off this heavenly Marc Jacobs fragrance. (Photo: Walmart)

Few scents are quite as universal — or as beloved — as Marc Jacobs Daisy. It’s light, frothy and fun, with notes of grapefruit, raspberry and pear mingling with jasmine, rose, lychee and apple blossom, and base notes of musk, cedar and plum. Despite the abundance of fruity notes, it still feels fresh and playful — and whether you want to try it out for the first time or pick up an extra bottle to keep in your drawer, this price simply can’t be beat.

“One of my favorite scents and I definitely will be buying it again,” a shopper reported. “I’ve always wanted a Marc Jacobs fragrance and the price was perfect. It smells amazing and the top to the bottle is too cute.”

Check out more beauty deals below:

BylissPRO Nano Titanium Lightweight Ionic Hair Dryer, $65 (was $85), walmart.com

Burberry Classic Eau De Parfum, $33 (was $98), walmart.com

Elizabeth Arden Ceramide Capsules Daily Youth Restoring Face Serum, $64.50 (was $100),walmart.com

Remington Anti-Static Flat Iron, $16 (was $20), walmart.com

Artnaturals Anti-Aging Retinol, $12 (was $16), walmart.com

Conair Double Ceramic Curling Iron, $12 (was $23), walmart.com

Glycolic Acid 20% Resurfacing Pads, $25 (was $50), walmart.com

IMAGE Skincare Ageless Total Eye Lift Creme, $34 (was $50), walmart.com

Mattresses and bedding

Save $300 and get the greatest sleep of your life. (Photo: Walmart)

If you’ve had your mattress for longer than you can remember, it’s high time to replace it — and, lucky you, this one is on sale! It’s made with 12 inches of plush memory foam supported by coils, and it’s just the right balance between soft and firm. The only drawback? Getting out of bed in the morning will be that much harder.

“I was surprised at how soft and comfy this mattress was,” a shopper reported. “I took it out of the box and plastic and it opened right up to the 12-inch size. It is supposed to take 24 hours to expand but it expanded a lot right away. It’s super thick and so far feels very comfortable. I am surprised at how great a mattress in a box could be!”

Check out more bedding deals below:

Noble Linens 8-Piece Bed in a Bag Bedding Set, Twin, White, $45 (was $65), walmart.com

Mattress Topper Queen, 2-Inch Cool Swirl Gel Memory Foam Mattress Topper, Blue, $70 (was $105), walmart.com

Simply Soft 3 Piece Ribbon Pattern Duvet Cover Set, $23 for queen (was $28), walmart.com

Hatch Embroidered Stripe 7-Piece Comforter Set, $30 (was $70), walmart.com

Zeny Weighted Blanket, $47 (was $78), walmart.com

Simply Soft 3 Piece Vine Pattern Duvet Cover Set, $24 (was $28), walmart.com

Wenzel 70″ x 60″ Camp Quilt – Red Brick Geo Print, $21 (was $29.50), walmart.com

Better Homes & Gardens Flowing Floral Comforter Set, $45 (was $65), walmart.com

Pets

Make bathtime for your pooch a little more fun. (Photo: Walmart)

If your pooch refuses to sit still for baths, nail trims, grooms, or, well, just about anything, try this trick on for size. Fill this lick pad with peanut butter, then stick it on a wall. It’ll keep him occupied for as long as you need. It has 37 suction cups, so it stays in place, and it’s even dishwasher safe.

“I have an obsessive border collie and try to always make him work for meals with Kongs or slow feeders,” a shopper shared. “This is a GREAT little treat for him that he gets very excited about! It holds just a couple spoonfuls and keeps him focused for about 20 minutes.”

Check out more pets deals below:

Oster Super Duty Dog Clippers, $35 (was $40), walmart.com

Portable Pet Dog Cat Outdoor Travel Water Bowl Bottle, $8.50 (was $11), walmart.com

Omega Paw Large Elite Self-Cleaning Litter Box, Black, $53 (was $78), walmart.com

Amgra Laser Pointer for Cats, $14 (was $16), walmart.com

Zimtown Pets Stairs with Cover, Small, Beige, $26 (was $51), walmart.com