#he gets crushes super easily but he's too chicken to hit on girls

[mishkakagehishka]

Talking to my brother ab our tragic love lives is so fun but also so interesting to see how different we are

[residentlesbrarian]

The Second Book I Read In the Dark: Another YA superhero novel for me to squeal over forever...YES, Please! Gimme Gimme!

Dreadnought by April Daniels

So Day 1 in the dark continues onward and I have already finished 1 of my 3 library books with still so much day left so what else to do but soldier forward and continue without pause. Well there was a short pause for delicious chicken soup cooked on a blessedly gas powered range (never gonna live in a house with an electric range; I swear this thing has saved our butts in so many power outages), but I digress; I was ready! This time I was taking a break from the whimsical and witchy and diving head first into all things super with an extra heroic twist. 

I had heard so many good things about this book for so long but again it had fallen to the wayside of other distractions (a rainbow montage of movie and TV show gays runs back and forth through my head like the migrating fandom flamingoes). What finally made me make the decision to buckle down and do the thing was a video review done by one of my favorite YouTubers, Dominic Noble (Video Linked below). I love his series Lost in Adaptation, because as an avid reader I too find myself appalled by what Hollywood often does to my favorite books. Hearing him talk about Dreadnought was just the push my flighty brain needed to say, “Fine! Alright! We haven’t utterly obsessed over a teenage superhero book in like 6 months since we near bludgeoned our girlfriend with Not Your Sidekick! Fine! Let’s do it!” So...yeah if this intro is anything to go by this should be a fun one! Let’s dive right in shall we!

Unicorn Rating:

Blurb: She just wanted to paint her toenails in peace but then a superhero had to go and die and give Danny the one thing she never thought she’d have...her proper body. Now if only everyone else felt that way too. Life just got awesome and really really complicated all at once! Oh yeah and she can fly now. Bonus!

Disclaimer: I will try my best to not spoil anything from the book, but my book loving rambles may give more away than a traditional review. Here we go! Ramble time!

Review: 

Holy crap! After the last book this was exactly what I needed! This book was just...so good! The plot...the characters...the world...everything about it just pulls you in and doesn’t let you go. Now I may have felt that way because I didn’t have anything trying to pull me away from this book but I don’t think I would have been easily pulled away if there had been distractions. And so many facets of this story were things I didn’t expect because I had never seen them portrayed before. Like the fact Danny having to deal with the rampant day to day sexism of being a woman now that her appearance matches who she really is. I’ve never seen that in a book before and I absolutely loved it! I was so dedicated to Danny’s story from page 1 it’s ridiculous, and look at that, a perfect segue into the phenomenal characters of this book...look what I did there switching it up going out of order on ya...gotta keep ya on your toes.

Our protagonist Danny is such a phenomenal example of a genuine kind caring person who is also deeply scarred and angry. It was so amazing to read a character that was flawed and struggling and doesn’t see how much a hero she really is and the small moments when others take that double take and go, “You’re the real deal, huh?” But those moments just confuse the living hell outta Danny cause she’s just Danny, she got super powers as a fluke. She is also hilarious and courageous and smart but knows she isn’t perfect and has weaknesses. She may be the strongest person on earth physically now but she acknowledges that that isn’t everything someone needs. Danny is such a good bean, but she has issues and that isn’t glossed over which is so rare. Now the next thing I want to touch on is a very tough subject but is very prevalent in the book so I wouldn’t be a very prudent reviewer if I didn’t bring it up. Danny is, without question, an abused child. This isn’t even really a spoiler, it alludes pretty heavily to it in the blurb, but what I’m gonna touch on next does dip into that territory so I’m gonna break it into a new LONG paragraph so just scroll on by if you don’t want to read this bit.

So at one point in the book Danny mentions a health screening at school that revealed she had hearing damage in her right ear that has now been healed by the mantle of Dreadnought. At the time of the screening she didn’t realize why until her dad had another Mount Vesuvius day and she assumed her usual position of curling in on herself and turning her head to the left so he would yell into only her right ear. Now how loud and how often do you have to yell into someone’s ear to cause permanent hearing damage? I don’t know and honestly I don’t want to know. Why am I highlighting an overall tiny moment...because for me this moment jumped out and gut punched me. Brought literal tears to my eyes. Tears of pain. Tears of rage. Tears of hate. I’m a weepy bitch when I get emotional. I’ve read a lot of books that try and portray abuse and how Daniels wrote Danny’s abuse from her father took my breath away because it felt so real. There weren’t really any good days, there were bad days, there were really bad days, but most days were just anxiously waiting for the next bad day, because Danny knew there would always be a next bad day. Something that did surprise me was my feelings about Danny’s mother. I knew going in I would hate her father, before even meeting him I hated him, but her mother, that was a hate that lay dormant until it exploded onto the scene and froze me to my core. I’m not gonna get into my own demons here but there is one thing I cannot abide by and that is people turning a blind eye while someone abuses another. Danny’s mother is the textbook definition of someone who “goes along to get along”, she will do just about anything to keep the peace, but at what cost? Instead of protecting her child from someone who literally screamed so long and so loud at her child that it damaged her hearing she just sat back and let them. That’s not the worst though, no, after Danny’s transition her mom seems to be understanding of the fact she is happy being a girl and is buying her things she needs like bras and undeniably feminine shoes, only to reveal it was all to keep Danny docile so she wouldn’t cause more fights with her dad. That to me is unforgivable. Not worse than the abuse of the father, but still undeniably selfish. She never cared about Danny or listened to her and what she was really saying. She just didn’t want there to be anymore fighting. Well I’m sorry, but sometimes, as a mother, you should fight to protect your goddamn child when someone is hurting them. The last thing I’ll say before going back to the more spoiler free and fun part of the review is that the fact Danny can never make herself say she is being abused hits so close to home for me. As a reader looking in from outside, there was a scene with a member of the Legion that I felt like, as an abuse survivor myself, I was standing there begging Danny to accept her invitation. To get out of that house. To get away from her father. To see what he was doing for what it was. But I knew she wouldn’t, she wasn’t ready, and it broke my heart to watch her fly away.

Anyway moving on from all that heavy stuff lets talk about other things like some freaking superheroes and one particular vigilante. We have the Legion members: Doc Impossible, Valkyrja, Magma, Graywytch, Chlorophyll, and Carapice. Now How do I want to talk about these characters...in what order...hmmm...how about from best to worst. Okay? Okay. Great! 

I freaking love Doc Impossible! She is a character that from the moment I met her she gave me ‘kookie grandma’ character vibes and I get DOWN with kookie grandma characters. Now I know she isn’t a grandma character nor is she particularly crazy in the way she acts; it's just a vibe I get from her that I love. Now one thing I do want to say without spoiling anything is how Doc is one of the few characters that never tries to take away Danny’s agency in everything that happens around her in all this superhero craziness. Danny can always be her own person and most importantly a kid around Doc, and I feel Danny really needed that. I will stop myself now because I could go on for hours about Doc and how much I LOVE HER!

Next up we get a two for one, Valkyrja and Magma. We don’t see much of them but what we do get is pretty good. They are adult superheroes who have their own priorities surrounding what is going on with Danny, but aren’t mean or cruel and seem to genuinely care about Danny. Valkyrja is funny and surprisingly down to earth even though she is basically a scandinavian goddess of sorts. Also the hilarity of her being Danny’s long time celebrity crush never gets old. Oh Danny, you useless little lesbian. Magma is a precious big hot boy that seems like he’d give good hugs. Yeah, that's about all I got to say about him that won’t spoil anything. 

Now we have another two for one with Chlorophyll and Carapice. These two I'm between dislike and indifferent on.  They weren’t outright mean to Danny but they treated her more like a means to an end or down right refused to acknowledge she was the new Dreadnought whether they liked it or not, but we didn’t really get to see them enough to really learn more about their motivations. 

Finally to round out the Legion we have Graywytch. Excuse me while I get this out. *Exaggerated throat clear.* First of all, Imma slap that stupid robe of ya stupid head. Then Imma stab you with your stupid fancy atheme you like to wave around all the time. And don’t even start on your “Typical male, always resorting to violence” shtick, cause guess what, I’m a ciswoman and I still wanna stomp a mudhole in your ass. And for that...Imma slap your dumb bird too. *Deep breath in. Looooooong exhale.* Sorry about that. Mama had to express some rage. I have never had a hate-sink character that made me feel the fiery flames of rage quite like Graywytch...obviously. Her treatment of Danny had me gripping the book tightly and growling about slapping birds and “shanking bitches” more than I should probably admit. She is one of those characters that I love how much I hate her. She served the exact purpose she was meant to and it was never cast in a light that she may be right in her treatment of Danny, we are always aware that her mindset is ridiculous. Like the fact outside of her parents Graywytch is the only character to blatantly deadname and misgender Danny. To go off on a small tangent here I may relate too much here because I have a younger brother who is trans (don’t worry he is fine with me discussing it in reviews and such) and I went to a graduation party when my best friend graduated medical school and he was out to the family but not extended friends yet. After only referring to him by the proper pronouns for so long at home hearing the wrong ones caused legitimate eye blinking record scratch cognitive dissonance for me. I had the same feeling anytime Graywytch opened her stupid mouth and blatantly misgendered Danny. Because the way this is written Danny is Danny, she is exactly who she is meant to be. Suck it Graywytch!

Okay, I know you probably want to hear about the plot I know, but we have one more character we have to talk about and that is Calamity, the rootin’-ist tootin’-ist vigilante that ever did come through these here parts. Sorry, I have to talk like this now, it’s part of the persona, you have to commit to the persona. But real talk, I absolutely love Calamity as a look into “graycapes” and the real dive into the world of superheroes beyond the big heroes. We get to see how someone who doesn’t have the backing of the Legion goes about helping people, the little people, those that maybe the Legion way up in their tower can’t see from so high up in the clouds. And y’all know me, I love a morally gray vigilante with a heart of gold.  She had me at “You wanna go capin’?”

Now obviously I couldn’t get enough of the characters but the plot was pretty darn good too. It was so intricately woven in with Danny and her inheriting the mantle from the previous Dreadnought that she had no choice but to be an integral part of it. Now I obviously don’t have as much to say about the plot as I did the characters but know if you come for the plot you won’t be disappointed. It kept me guessing and threw me for an absolute curve ball at the end that I did not see coming! You won’t be disappointed.

So final thoughts...there isn’t much more I can say without going on an hours long squeal fest about how much I freaking loved this book and the characters and the intricacies of how Danny’s powers work and how she was written and how she interacts with different characters and just everything that would mean massive untakebackable spoilers! So I will end on this note; Danny is a character that it would have been easy to lean into the superhero aspect and let the reader forget that she was trans, but April Daniels didn’t want that. Danny was gifted the easiest transition in the history of the world. What takes most people years of HRT and surgeries and therapy Danny did in the passing of a mantle, but it never took away the fact she is and always will be trans. It was a unique reading experience that I have only been blessed with once before but that’s a story for a different review on a different day.

Queer Wrap-up: I would give my left kidney (that’s my good one btw) to give this book five unicorns, but alas I cannot, a one off conversation in an elevator hinting that a certain improbable doctor may have a one sided thing for a particular sadly straight scandinanvian god being is just not enough to count as additional rep. As much as I love this book, and I love it A LOT! We only have Danny as our queer rep and she is fantastic rep and our protagonist so a 4 unicorn rating was a no brainer on this one. Danny is the kind of trans rep I want to see more of in the world of books, YA and otherwise. Being a trans lesbian is a huge part of her character but she gets to do so much more than that in the breath of the story and that’s what I look for in great representation, so Danny easily earned these 4 unicorns on her own merit just being her amazing self.

Links: 

Goodreads

Dominc Noble’s Review

Alright so...this one got long. Ah hell, I ain't gonna apologize for it! This is a damn good book and I wanted to get my fangirl squeal on y’all. 

Oh no, I think I’ve been thinking about Calamity too much I slipped into the persona without meaning to! This book was just far too much fun to read to the point I started reading it out loud with a full cast of voices (hint: the Calamity parts were my favorite) because it flowed so well and was genuinely so funny at parts and heart wrenchingly sad in others and so action packed the next moment. I finished this book in less than a day and if I had been more present and not under a pile of blankets and wearing a headlamp I might have thought to keep a timer to tell you the exact number of hours it took me, but alas know it didn’t take me many. 

So the adventures reading in the dark continue on to the next review after this one but as always if you want to read this but don’t want to spend the money without knowing for sure you are going to like it, go to your local library. You’d be surprised what they have on their shelves just waiting to be discovered. Trust me, I’m a lesbrarian.

[deacied]

evening sun  .  //  one .

summary: messaging stupid things to your celebrity crush on instagram has no repercussions because it’s not like they’re going to read it anyway! obviously this doesn’t entail sexual harassment or general creepiness, but sending a meme they’d like or a picture or maybe something actually stupid like your phone number seems irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.

or the one where you dm joe on instagram and your life actually changes

warnings: none other than like fluff 

word count: 1.7k

    she sends the stupidest message she has possibly ever typed in her entire life (eighth grade, angsty teen posts on myspace included) to him in the second week of march. the chances were low that he would open her dm, but he had been known to ever so often answer a handful at a time, and what did she have to lose if he did answer the message? she had sent him other things before as if he were her best friend, memes that reminded her of him or funny t-shirt ads, whatever it had been that she thought might have him grinning to himself--- however, clearly the response never-received wasn’t with this particular “friend”. she didn’t really know him, and he, blissfully unaware of her existence, yet she tried weakly to get the attention of him while he received thousands of others flooding his messages doing just the same. it was just a bit of fun really. a shirt that showed a t-rex wearing mickey ears, “wrong park!“ written across it had her laughing manically to herself before sending the post over to joe. she hoped she would see him in that shirt soon.

    it was a hopeless cause that, well, wouldn’t crush her if the odds weren’t in her favor. nearly a month after she had sent the stupidest message, a notification of a new text pings through her phone. a glance over to it only to be met with an unknown number loses her attention as quick as it held it. she yawns. the action comes of mainly boredom though sleepiness threatens to claw its way into dominance as the summer rain continues to pummel unto the roof, warm florida air shifting through the porch, and the novel in her hand losing focus. a nap would be good-- perfect actually.

    the crackle of lightning followed by a gargle of thunder shook her out of her sleep only an hour later and back into reality. every afternoon without fail, the casual shower of rain would pass over her family home just after three as if mother nature were taking her time with her garden. florida often promised hurricanes so the thunderstorms weren’t uncommon, but this particular one wasn’t supposed to hit until thursday, and with it being only tuesday, she knew this storm would last forever now: the earlier they came, the longer and harder they reined apparently. notifications sound off at a quick rate, though she easily dismisses it as something extraordinary going on in the group chat. trekking back into the house with book and phone in hand, her free fingers pass over her dogs’ heads as she passes them to head to her room. the thought of a shower to wash away the dampness from outside was the most ideal option she possessed, however, the implied doom her mother promised of a shower during a thunderstorm was the least. more notifications go off in time before she turns off the ringer entirely and plugs it into the charger. sixty-four (jesus) messages in the group chat on discord, another twenty-one from the same group on instagram, and god knows how many more on snapchat, but the one, singular cluster of notifications tucked at the bottom that held her interest had her pausing with head tipping in interest: another message from the unknown number.

lower lip curls between teeth as brows furrow an inch together. finally clicking on the messages, she feels like she might throw up as her eyes follow the pixels. holy. fucking. shit.

FROM unknown 11:18 am: It’s super dangerous giving your phone number to strangers on the internet you know? FROM unknown 11:20 am: I tried to call and kind of chickened out. I got nervous and I’m sorry. FROM unknown 11:43 am: Oh my god, did you really shoot your shot and just leave the court?

    she has to read the messages at least eight times, take a screenshot, send it to her brother, and have him confirm she’s not having a stroke before she can go back to the originals with an intent to reply. thumbs hover over keys making absentminded shapes as she breathes deeply, loudly, anxiously trying not to have a whole mental breakdown. the message directly referenced her messages to none other than the boy from jurassic park, the bassist of bohemian rhapsody, the very angry baseball player of undrafted. there was absolutely no way that this was actually, truly, literally joseph francis mazzello iii. couldn’t be. nope. not happening. she doesn’t know what to reply back with for a good long moment, taking a second to collect herself and open up instagram to confirm for the hundredth time now that this is who she thinks it is.

    the dm’s screen welcomes her, exhale escaping lowly as she clicks on joe_mazzello’s chat. he hadn’t replied -clearly, she most definitely would have received a notification for that or else instagram would have a very angry woman on their hands- but he had opened it. the time read 3:56am two weeks ago when he read them. her head falls backwards as the mental math floods hurriedly through her brain, trying to understand: so he had called a week after reading them apparently, and then waited another week before engaging contact again. he... he had been thinking about this for a while; it wasn’t just a spur-of-the-moment ploy to entertain a fan. god, she might throw up actually this time. thumbs navigate to open the texts from the unknown number again just to make sure they hadn’t magically dissolved into thin air. a slow exhale. one more final time she moves over the keys.

TO unknown 12:56 pm: who is this? TO unknown 12:57 pm: if this is who i think it is i’m gonna Lose My McFreakin Mind

    she nods to herself as they send--- vague enough that whomever was on the other side wouldn’t think something strange was going on no matter what the outcome turned out to be. it had happened once where a friend texted the wrong number instead of her, asking if “mc fuckhead” was there. (that was an incredibly fun inside joke to explain.) head tips to the side slightly, hopping her train of thought from joe mazzello and him genuinely thinking of you to how strange every inside joke must sound to people outside of the inside. another vibration of the device jerks her back to the matter at hand, unable to help her heart thumping uneasily.

FROM unknown 1:26 pm: Hi, I’m Joe Mazzello from Jurassic- I mean, Bohemian Rhapsody and you’re watching Disney Channel! FROM unknown 1:26 pm: Thank God you’re a multiple text person too FROM unknown 1:27 pm: Please don’t Lose Your McFreakin Mind! FROM unknown 1:27 pm: Wait. FROM unknown 1:27 pm: .....Is this (@ y/ig)? Did I just fuck everything up with an actual wrong number?

    suspicions couldn’t get more confirmed than that. her next set of texts goes out rapidly and without much second thought, a stupidly huge smile graced on her face that probably made her look like a maniac--- but really, if any person’s celebrity crush had texted them wouldn’t they have the exact same reaction? actually, now that y/n thinks about it, she’s being really, really calm. the internal screaming stays internal -thank the lord- though her cheeks already ache from the face-splitting grin she currently wears.

TO unknown 1:33pm: if i’m (@ y/ig) then wouldn’t you be @joe_mazzello? no? just me? ok TO unknown 1:33 pm: but hi yes i’m y/n ??? holy shit ??? what the fuck ??? TO unknown 1:34 pm: definitely losing my mind rn   TO unknown 1:34 pm: but also 👀 real talk i was 👀 actually asking you 👀 out TO unknown 1:34 pm: like if you wanted to hang out 👀 haha

    as soon as the last one sends, her heart drops with fear. fuck, what if the actor just wanted to do a fan a favor and answer her dm just for shits and giggles, or, best (worst?) case scenario he wanted to online-befriend her. she can very easily lose the one single chance she’s gotten and--- god, yes, definitely going to throw up. she sends another message in a haste, praying to whomever was up above that her last text actually saved her ass. he responds in actual record time, the girl tucked up on her bed unable to help the excited and very, very, very ugly squeal she let out as she starts reading the messages.

FROM joe omg 1:36 pm: Interesting.... I’ll have to accept your proposal. We meet at dawn! FROM joe omg 1:36 pm: But you’re in Florida right? I think I read that on your account, I hope I didn’t just pull that out of my ass. FROM joe omg 1:36 pm: I haven’t been to Universal down there in God knows how long and I was planning to go at the end of the month funnily enough FROM joe omg 1:36 pm: If dinosaurs and King Kong and Harry Potter and whateva are your thaaaang

    an anxious groan soon follows-- of course this was the alternating year she had gotten a disney annual pass instead of a universal one like last year, and upon further inspection of prices, her bills due, and her bank account, it was a couple hundred dollars she definitely didn’t have to spend. she sets her phone down to calm her now raging anxiety, skin heating up and palms sweating profusely until she fists her comforter in hopes to dry them. asking an actual rich and famous person for financial help just to hang out with them was forcing her eyes to prick with tears-- she had to find something else, right? they could work something else out and she was just overreacting. it takes her verbally saying “you’re crying over universal, chill the heck out” before she comprehends and truly relaxes, tension melting out of her back as a slow breath falls from anxiety ridden lungs.

TO joe omg 1:42 pm: i actually love universal but i have a disney pass right now if maybe that was something you wanted to do TO joe omg 1:43 pm: idk if you’ve ever been to disney world but its so much better than disneyland if i’m honest lmao i’ve gone to california once and i went and i wasn’t super impressed TO joe omg 1:43 pm: i mean it was really cool cause it was the original disney but rides and attractions wise you know what i mean??? anyway im rambling wtf

    the conversation rolls with no further lulls in topics to talk about, one in the afternoon soon turning to one in the morning and her eyes threatening to droop closed. with a final goodnight text the pair decide to resume conversation in the morning, and lord, did she have something to excitedly scream about then.

[hearthhhh]

hi! could i please get a haikyuu matchup? i’m a 5'3" bi girl. i’m curious, pretty open-minded & enjoy learning new things. i try my best to be a good friend, as well as a decent conversationalist & listener. i’d say i’m extroverted, but i come off as reserved at first. i’m patient & affectionate with my loved ones, & usually compassionate. but i can be indecisive, sensitive & prone to catastrophizing. i have a tendency to overthink, & i’m very talkative; i also love analyzing things!!(1/2)🦋

You and I are so similar, love! I’m a bit taller but other than that, our personalities are pretty similar, and I’ve been considering taking anthropology as a minor!

Also I got like... super carried away with this lol 👀

I pair you with...

🥢 I feel like you wouldn’t necessarily know Asahi very well because you both come off as timid, you’d both be too shy to stray very far from your own friend groups. You only know him because of the negative rumours going around about him.

🥢 I imagine you being introduced to Asahi! I think the best guy for that job would be Sugawara.

🥢 You and Suga would probably be paired up for a project. You two end up getting along pretty well, and get a pretty good mark on your assignment.

🥢 After your project you and Suga text, say hi in the hallway, and probably talk in class, but that’s about it. Until you see him walking with two of his friends after last period.

🥢 You know Daichi and Asahi and they know you too. That doesn’t stop Suga from introducing them to you in passing. Then they purpose you join them, and you shyly agree. You kind of expect it to be awkward and short, considering the way Asahi tries to send a pleading look, you don’t feel very welcome.

🥢 It’s completely the opposite. The walk there you get along well with Suga and Daichi, and enjoy Asahi’s short comments on the conversation. It’s hard to include him, but you try your best to be as kind as possible.

🥢 You four end up having a good time and probably end up getting ice cream or something light. You’re pleasantly surprised that gradually, you’re able to see that Asahi isn’t exactly what you expected.

🥢 You see that Asahi is shy and easily frightened, and a very good listener. It’s pretty obvious he’s a little more quiet than usual, considering his friends gave him cues to speak as well, so you assumed he was just shy because there was a newcomer. That didn’t stop you from thinking he seemed like a pretty good guy from what you could see.

🥢 After that day you see a bit more of Suga, and even Daichi approaches and waves at you. Asahi would only be seen following one of them, and wouldn’t approach you alone.

🥢 So you approach him. I mean, he’s Suga and Daichi’s friend and so are you! You sort of overthink the situation and kind of feel bad that Asahi isn’t comfortable around you. You feel like you’re obligated to get along with Asahi, and I feel like you’d be guilty doing otherwise.

🥢 So you approach him a couple times, and he keeps the conversation to a minimum in groups, eyes darting, but you notice he’s a little bit easier to talk to when it’s just you and him. Without his friends, without classmates or hallway clutter.

🥢 You guys start to get a lot closer! Soon enough you’re closer to Asahi than Suga and Daichi, and you text him a lot. After a month or two you consider each other to be best friends.

🥢 Asahi tries to ask you out a lot during those months, but chickens out right when it matters. One time he makes you a cute bento, and instead of asking you out stumbles over his words and ends up saying he’s only giving it to you because he “just thought it was neat”.

🥢 Eventually Asahi asks you out without the gimmicks he kept trying before, and sort of spits it out in the middle of a normal conversation. You’re a bit caught off guard because of how random and abrupt it is, and especially the fact that Asahi looks like he’s about to combust into flames. Asahi takes your hesitance as a no and literally starts crying, and you have to reassure him for awhile until he can fully process your acceptance.

🥢 You and Asahi are the purest couple. He isn’t a fan of PDA, but he loves holding hands like all the time. In private he’s a lot more romantic and loves cuddling and hugging, and would definitely leave good morning and good night messages. He’s all for the mushy cliche romance.

🥢 Eventually Asahi confesses later into the relationship that one late on call with Suga and Daichi, he’d casually asked about you. The two weren’t stupid, and knew that was Asahi’s version of “I have the biggest fucking crush on her.” So that’s why Suga had introduced you two.

I pair you with...

🥢 Ironic enough after that first matchup, I think you’d also end up really good with Suga.

🥢 It makes the last matchup kinda angsty if you consider that Suga likes you... but introduced Asahi to you because he’s a good friend.

🥢 On that note, I feel like in this version you’d be in a different school. I think it’d be really cute if you met at a tournament! You’d be the manager of one of their opponents.

🥢 Your team plays insanely well. Karasuno is pretty swamped, and eventually Ukai has to call a time out to try and get their shit together.

🥢 But then Suga hears your voice.

🥢 The entire time out all Suga can focus on is you, and it’s like the other team’s insane sportsmanship makes sense.

🥢 You’re so nice to the team, cracking jokes and being overly kind and supportive, even talking in a quiet and more reserved tone to a particular team mate that’s feeling a little insecure. Your coach is able to sit back and relax while you keep up the morale, and it’s breath taking.

🥢 Too soon was Suga forced back into the game.

🥢 You catch Suga’s eyes several times, and you kind of overthink it... Is something wrong? Are your clothes or hair messed up, do you have something on your face?

🥢 Suga tries desperately to keep his head in the game and it’s a constant struggle.

🥢 Once the game is ended Karasuno does suffer a defeat, but Suga’s looks don’t escape Coach Ukai’s eyes. He sort of scoffs before they load onto the bus, nodding knowingly. Ukai is the one to tell Suga to go chasing after you, and holds the bus for him.

🥢 Suga catches you in the hallway about to head into the bathroom. He’s out of breath but trying not to look it. As casually as he can, with a smile that only Suga can pull off when his lungs are burning, he compliments you and your team’s performance. You’re sort of wary, answering only out of politeness. But then he asks for your phone number.

🥢 Then the looks make sense, and you let one an “oooooohh”.

🥢 So you end up giving it to him, and you two talk pretty casually texting back and forth for a bit. You and Suga really hit it off once you start doing calls, then you’re able to get to know each other a lot better. Inivitably you fall for him, and start to wonder when he’ll ask you out. But you’re patient, so you don’t push and you wait for Suga to ask you out himself. He’s the one who asked for your number, after all, so you assumed he’d be the one to continue with the next step if he was still interested.

🥢 Suga waits to ask you out when he knows he’ll be in your neighbourhood. He doesn’t want you to come all the way over to him, so he waits a bit until it’s more convenient for him.

🥢 Eventually Suga is visiting one of his aunts, and asks to stay the night. He calls you around midnight vaguely, sounding very giddy, asking if you’re free tonight. It’s so cute and you both end up talking into the early hours of the morning, and end up going on your date later in the evening because you’re both tired.

🥢 Anyway, you both have a great time at the park having a picnic. You’re both so goofy and pure, and Suga listens to you just as much as you listen to him speak. It’s a nice balance.

🥢 Your relationship with Suga is very pure, and full of jokes. You guys would make really cute inside jokes that don’t always make sense, and sometimes have you question the absurdity of it, but it’s adorable nonetheless.

🥢 Suga is also a huge tease, but very understanding in the sense that he’s able to read people well, so he knows what not to tease about and what you’re self conscious about pretty easily. On that note, Suga is always filled with kind words and compliments! As well as dorky nicknames that change like every day, like “sugar-plum or “honey-bun”. He kind of says them because he knows they’re dorky and he thinks they’re funny.

🥢 Suga loves being on call with you and calls you while he’s getting ready in the morning and while he’s walking home. He really likes to call you when one of you are cooking, because you two always end up making jokes to the point where the dish is burnt and he thinks it’s hilarious.

I pair you with...

🥢 I feel like you’d be great for Nishinoya! You are an extrovert, but also a good listener and an introvert at times, so you’d be able to ground him! I just think this would make for a pretty cute dynamic.

🥢 The first thing I thought of was Nishinoya’s flirtatious nature... I kind of feel like there’d have to be special circumstances to make you stand out, so that he’ll be able to recognize your personality rather than just the fact that you’re a girl and he likes your god damn uniform.

🥢 So I thought maybe you’d both be classmates, and Noya would ask you out. Then he’s caught off guard when you ask him what he likes about you. He sort of stumbles over his words, and Noya’s even more off guard that you’re staring at him expectantly instead of walking away. When he starts to try and mumble excuses without actually being able to finish them, you get the hint. So you tell him to try again when his feelings are stronger.

🥢 Noya can’t stop thinking about you after that day, he’s in awe. He’d never met a girl quite like you, and began to notice a lot more about you only the day after he’d tried to ask you out.

🥢 watching you carefully while you spoke to your friends in class, he noticed how you listened and nodded along to them. The way your jokes mended perfectly with each individual friend, considering their sense of humour. Your personality was just so fun and caring, he was able to fall for your personality.

🥢 But now Noya’s scared of another rejection. Whose to say you’d even remember offering to consider him if his feelings grew? Maybe you’d had a change of heart.

🥢 So he waits for a while to the point where Tanaka notices. He’s a bit irked, asking him what he’s waiting for. Tanaka‘s pretty surprised Noya could go so long without confessing to you again.

🥢 Noya decided to wait until Valentine’s Day. He gives you chocolates and a teddy bear, and then speaks as quickly as possible to try and get the rejection situation over with.

🥢 He says that he admires how effortless you make class look, and thinks it’s amazing that you look like you genuinely enjoy learning. Noya especially loves your sense of humour and how polite and patient you are, and it only shows through the fact that you’re considering someone whose known for asking several girls out. You gave him the opportunity to get to know you, and no other girl had ever been as upfront and polite as you.

🥢 So after your initial shock, you ask him if he’s free tonight.

🥢 You two have a blast, probably going shopping. I feel like Noya would be pretty giddy, so he wouldn’t be able to sit still during a meal. Noya is so sweet, and buys you bubble tea and watches you try on clothes. You quickly learn that Noya is the loudest and most supportive cheerleader ever.

🥢 So you hit it off, and end up calling that night until very late, and Noya debates with Tanaka the next morning very groggily over the phone if he should send you a good morning text. Eventually he does, though he ends up sending it when he’s supposed to be in class with you, and Noya and Tanaka end up missing the entirety of first period.

🥢 Your relationship with Noya is always exciting in the best way possible. Sometimes you’ll get calls from him at like 3 am because he forgets the time, but as irritating as that is it’s also kinda cute. Especially the way he apologizes if you point out the time. Noya also gives you random presents, and will just randomly text you throughout the day to tell you that he loves you. He’s also the type of person to randomly wake up at 4am and text you to ask “do you still love me” because he gives off crackhead energy like that and you love him for it.

🥢 Everyone knows you’re dating immediately because oh boy, does Noya brag about you. He tells everyone he has the prettiest girlfriend and physically fights anyone who says otherwise, even as a joke. He brags about your writing and pretty notes, and asks you to read anything you write to him. He would also have a HUGE folder on his phone with pictures of you. Noya’s also the type of boyfriend to love taking pictures of you, but they’re always unsafisfying, and you always end up taking better pictures of him. It’s still pretty endearing though.

[katbyun]

EXO Confessing to their Best Friend

Here goes my first full-group reaction! I hope it's good enough ♡

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Minseok is a rather organized person, and would try to plan out the confession to the best of his abilities. If anything went against how it went in his head he may panic a bit, sweating and becoming restless. He would spend all night planning down the very last detail; what he should wear, what cologne would smell enticing but not overpowering, how to style his hair. He would want to make a good appearance for you, and would probably ask Jongdae what he thought of a million different outfits he tries on. He is very mature and would want to take the time to give his crush the time to say no without feeling pressured, assuring them he wants to stay their best friend no matter what the outcome. He wouldn't make a big deal out of it if you say no, but if you say yes his façade would fall and a huge gummy smile would spread across his face. Minseok is at the age where he is thinking about commitment and marriage, so if he decides to date you, he is dating you to marry you.

Junmyeon is a very kind man who cares about you deeper than you could ever expect. He would want to do something proper and old fashioned, the way his mother and grandmother would want him to treat a girl; he would take his best friend out to dinner and a movie, then shopping and buying them everything they laid their eyes on. He would be the perfect gentleman the entire time and when his crush turns on him to ask what the special treatment was for, his eyes would soften and a shy smile would appear when he replies with a simple 'you'. Whether you believe him, or accept him, would be up to you, but it would be difficult to not see how much he means what he said as he waits patiently for your answer - no matter what the outcome.

Yixing would be the type to be more straight forward than most would expect. He is very blunt when he has to be, but he is also more keen than people may realize. He watches everybody and everything and will be very in tune to how you feel around him. He would very much like to relax somewhere with you, whether in your place or in a park with his guitar as he sings you silly little songs about everything around you from off the top of his head. He would be singing about a dog one moment, the sun the next, then the song would be about his crush. He would subtly describe you in details that would not leave you guessing, and look you in the eye as he continued his sing-song confession. He would be very accepting if you turned him down, but if you accepted he would take you into his arms right then and there, calling you his baby.

Baekhyun would be a cheeky, cheeky little bugger. He would show up at your apartment door with a big bouquet of roses and smile at you, looking shy as he hands them over. He would try to be suave and bring out his big boy words, telling you how much he loves you as a woman before falling into giggles because he couldn't do this with a straight face. He would try to save face and start over but that would make him laugh even more, and you would join him because of the reddening of the tips of his ears. He would sigh and shake his head, asking you to be his partner. If you agree, he would laugh with that square smile of his before pulling you into a hug and crushing your roses by accident. The both of you would laugh as you playfully hit him about the head - if you turned him down he would be distraught but would smile and refuse to show it. Things may change with him for a while, but he would do his best not to make you uncomfortable about him.

Jongdae is another sweetie and complete romantic in the group. He would be spending the day watching movies with his best friend, trying to get his courage up to admit his crush to them. He would be watching them with a soft smile on his face, causing his crush to look at them and smile, poking fun at him. Jongdae would be the type to whine at them playfully before biting his lip and just coming out with it; he can't keep it inside anymore. His confession would be incredibly detailed and sweet, telling you every single little thing he loves about you and how much he can only imagine being with you. If you accept this little sweetheart he would take your face in his hands and press a soft kiss to your lips, thanking you for loving him back - he wasn't expecting this outcome. If you turned him down he would understand and go back to cracking jokes to make you feel less awkward. His heart would be hurting very badly and I can see him taking a long, long time to get over you.

Chanyeol is the embodiment of a puppy. He has a soft, tender heart and is easily hurt, so he would be so careful admitting his feelings to you. He would wrap his arm around his best friend's shoulders and make jokes for them just to watch them cringe (most of which lent to him by Junmyeon). He would compliment them outrageously in an effort to make them notice his words, but when they start to cringe a little too hard he panics and will stumble over his words as they pour out of him. He loves you, he loves everything about you down to your hair and smile and the way you look at animals and babies. He would stumble over each word but you would watch on in fondness as he explains that he was just trying to impress you and he can't stop talking about how perfect you are. He dies a little inside when you tell him that you like him too, and he jokingly falls to the ground with his hands over his heart, making you attempt to pull him up because now he is being embarrassing. If you didn't feel the same I think it would effect him the most out of everybody. He would kind of shut down a bit and swallow deeply; he would not cry here, in front of you. He already messed up enough, right? This would hit him really hard and it may be difficult to continue being your friend; even to the point of losing your friendship completely.

Kyungsoo is a very shy person, as everybody knows. He would have to be friends with this person for a long time before even considering a confession, so it would be rare for him to be the first to say anything. Given his past with his high school girlfriend and how she made him afraid of love, it would take a lot to even get to that point with him. He is one of the romantics in the group, however, so he would be pretty classic about it. He would walk up to his friend with a single rose and a note, a blush dusting his cheeks. He wouldn't let them open the note until he was far gone so he nearly runs to get out of sight before curiosity overtakes his crush. His letter would be everything that he can't say in person, incredibly eloquent but to the point and short - he isn't a man of many words after all. If his crush accepted him he would be so scared to meet them again and would panic as to what he should wear or say. You will have to lead him through the first bit of the date but he would get the hang of it after that. If you said no he would understand as he is very mature and realistic, so I think you could go back to being friends with him quite soon afterwards.

Jongin would be so casual you would have to look closely to see that things have changed between the two of you. He would invite his crush out to lunch (probably McDonalds or something to be honest) and buy your food along with so much chicken you still can't believe he can eat so much in one sitting. You two would be talking about everything from the weather to school to his career and he would simply let it out that he wants you to date him. He would be very casual about it, cheek full of chicken and taking sips of his drink between words - his leg pulled up beside him on the restaurant booth. He would tell them how much he cares for them and how much he wishes to keep them as more as a friend, but would reassure them that rejection wouldn't cause a rift between them. He would stare his friend in the eye and watch their reactions as their friend realizes they aren't joking. If you do choose to say yes he would nod and hand over a chicken nugget - "we're dating now". If you said no he would respect your decision and the two of you would continue on with your day.

Sehun would be very...simple. He wouldn't know quite what to say, so instead of saying anything at all he would drag you to a local fair that was in the neighbourhood and hope that he could make you fall for him by being fun to be around. He would win suffed toys for you and pretend like he is a boss, slinging his arm over your shoulder and leading you to more games throughout the fairgrounds. He would be screaming at himself on the inside for being so forward, but nothing would show on his face. He would take you on a multitude of rides and buy you any and all the food and drink you wanted, laughing at you when you looked like you were going to puke after eating a chili dog before riding a roller coaster. He would bring you to the edge of the fairgrounds and sit beside you on top of a picnic table, looking out at all the lights on the rides as the light slowly slips out of the sky. He would take his crush's hand and pump himself up for the moment before softly speaking, telling them how he felt and hoping dearly that they felt the same way. If you accepted him he would laugh and pretend that he knew you were going to say that and that his heart wasn't pounding because he was terrified that you would say no - "Let's be honest, I'm super amazing and you obviously wouldn't reject me. I mean, you're my best friend, you've dealt with me for so long we're practically an old married couple by now!". However, if you did turn him down he wouldn't know what to say. Sehun is still young and doesn't think things through all the time so he would give you money for a cab so that you got home safely and would wait for one with you, but the night would be over just like that. He would be another member where this would break his heart and he may not be able to be friends with you after.

________________________________________________________________

Here you go! I hope it's good enough! Sorry if it looks a little wonky right now I had to write it on my phone haha!

-Admin Baozi

[spxdeychelles]

Just Ask Her Out

In which MJ is popular and Peter is still a dork.

Inspired by a tweet and I’ve actually had this in my drafts for ages so I thought I’d bulk it up and turn it into a proper imagine lol. Super fluffy with pining!peter bc he really is a cutie

"Did you study for the Spanish quiz today?" Ned asked his best friend as they made their way to the cafeteria. It was a bleak Monday morning, sometime in early January, and Peter was still reeling from his full force encounter with a brick wall and the icy planes of the alleyway street while fighting a perpetrator last night. Even after practically tapping a bag of frozen peas to his side for the most part of last night, the area around his ribs was still throbbing, and he was grateful he could hide the deep purple bruises beneath a baggy sweater. His back screamed out in pain every time he bent over to pick something up and migraine would be an understatement to explain what was going on in his head right now. He had had to sneak out early this morning before May was up, because she’d know instantly he was hurt and he really didn’t want to worry her. By lunch time, he knew most of that would be gone due to the blessing of his quick healing capabilities but until then, he'd simply have to suffer and endure the agony. So just your regular, average Monday then. 

“No Ned." Peter snapped exasperatedly. "Sorry I didn’t the time have to go over my notes while I was getting my head smashed into an alleyway floor.” 

“Dude chill, I was just asking.” Ned raised his hands in surrender as they sat down. Peter laid his head on the table and groaned loudly, ignoring the loud protests from his muscles as he lent over his side of the bench and closed his eyes. 

"Hey Abe." Peter drawled with his shut, his fingers subconsciously rubbing at his temple. 

"Morning Peter." Abraham shot Ned a 'is-he-okay' look to which he replied with a 'don't-even-ask' expression and Abe nodded, understanding immediately. 

“What’s got him all beat?” A female voice joined the trio as she slid into the seat opposite them. 

“He’s down because he knows he’s going to fail the Spanish quiz today.” 

“Dude did you not study?” Cindy asked, hitting his arm playfully. The brown eyed boy winced lightly and glared at her. 

“Right, Spidey stuff." She said lowly. Out of the whole school, the only people who knew about Peter's alter ego were sat at that table, and they were all sworn to secrecy to keep it that way. "Sorry Pete. If you want we can study for it now?” 

Peter raised his head from the table and straightened out his jumper. 

“I guess it can’t hurt more than my head does right now.” He shrugged. He looked up and he wished he hadn’t because whenever his eyes met hers, that funny feeling he got in his stomach every time he saw her returned. Just one look at her and Peter felt the pain slowly ebbing away from his muscles. Cindy noticed him staring and studied him quizzically. 

“What?” She noticed his gaze wasn’t aimed at her so she turned around and rolled her eyes. “Peter you’re still on that?” Cindy laughed, taking a sip from the Starbucks cup she had set beside her bag earlier. 

“He’s been ‘on that’ since 8th grade.” Ned mocked. Peter elbowed him in the rib.  

“I’m not on anything. Or anyone.” He grumbled, placing his Spanish textbook in front of him. 

“So you ever gonna ask her out? Or you know, talk to her?” 

“That’s Michelle Jones, Cin. What do you think?” He looked back down at his textbook and began trying to recite the words he was supposed to have memorised last week. 

“Weren’t you guys friends?” Abe asked, reading over his notes too. 

“A long time ago.” Peter replied, the pen lid nestling between his lips as he highlighted parts of the textbook. They were once friends, best friends in fact. His aunt and Michelle’s mom had been like sisters since high school so Peter and Michelle had pretty much grown up together ever since Peter had moved in with Uncle Ben and Aunt May just before the first grade. She had been there for him through his parents death (even though she barely knew him at the time and she was only 4 so didn’t really understand what was going on, she was so kind to him), Uncle Ben’s death (she missed three days of school to allow him to cry on her lap and listened and soothed him the best she could, which to Peter, was a lot) and a whole lot of other things. However, when high school came, they’d drifted apart, Michelle being at the center of attention where she belonged and Peter pushed to the back of the crowd. Michelle had tried to stay friends with Peter but with their drastically different social lives, they eventually grew apart. Now they only ever shared nods or the occasional ‘hey’s in the hallway between classes. That did nothing to stop Peter’s ever growing crush on her to cease. The one he’d been harboring between him and Ned for the past 3/4 years and now Cindy and Abraham, as of recent. 

“We’re gonna be graduating soon Parker, you’re gonna have to do it sometime.” 

“Or never?” He didn’t even bother to look at her until he felt her presence leave the table. As he lifted his head from the book, he watched Cindy walk away from him and right towards Michelle. 

“CIN! CINDY!” He whispered/shouted, trying to get her attention. She snapped her fingers behind her back, as if to tell him to shut up, as she walked past Michelle's table of jocks and cheerleaders. She ignored the weird looks they gave her and made a beeline for Michelle, who was ordering a coffee from the lunch lady. 

“God, I hope she’s not doing what I think she’s doing.” Peter moaned, placing his head in his hands. 

“Well, you better straighten up because Michelle is coming over here right now?”

“Right now!?” Peter almost leapt out of his seat, forgetting all about his injuries. “Oh god, okay. Do I have something in my teeth? Is my shirt okay? This is a horrible colour isn’t it? I should’ve just worn the blue-” 

“Dude, breathe.” Ned nodded slowly. “She’s here,” he whispered. 

“Hey Peter.” Michelle smiled. Her soft brown eyes crinkled at the corners as her lips stretched into a grin. Her light brown skin shone in the sunlight like gold and her wild black mane was tamed into a high pony tail, exposing her sharp cheekbones. God, she was so beautiful. 

“Hey..hey, Mich-” Peter cleared his throat. “Michelle.” He said in a deeper voice. 

“Ned, scram.” Cindy hissed, grabbing her stuff and leaving the table. Abe made some sorry excuse about leaving his chem book in the lab and needing to find it before 2nd period while getting up from the bench also. 

“Good luck bro.” Ned spoke under his breath. They did their secret handshake under the table before Cindy dragged the small boy away from the couple by his ear. Peter could still hear him protesting and Abe and Cindy laughing as they left the cafeteria. 

“Erm, can I sit?” Michelle asked, gesturing to the space where Cindy previously was. 

“Yeah, um of course, feel free.” 

“Thanks.” She nodded, flattening the creases in her trousers as she took a seat. Peter doesn't think there's been a time when Michelle had worn a skirt, at her own will. He even remembers back to her aunt's wedding when they were nine she'd gone a hunger strike because she wanted to wear a suit to the wedding instead of a dress because she refused to be like every other girl because she was Michelle Jones and she was unique. Eventually, her mom gave in and Michelle walked down the isle with her aunt in a dark blue tuxedo and little nine year old Peter couldn't stop thinking to himself how beautiful she looked. The same thought came to him when she arrived to homecoming, their freshman year, wearing a strapless purple dress for the first time, with ruffles at the skirt and Peter felt so lucky that he'd arrived with her because she was easily the best looking girl in the room. Although, the year after that, she came with Flash instead and Peter was long forgotten on the bleachers, which is when he met Ned and they instantly became best friends. He somewhat filled the Michelle shaped hole in his life and Peter was honestly glad he'd met him. But that was years ago and this was now. 

There was an awkward silence at the table during which Peter stared at her as though she was art and Michelle fiddled with the hem of her jumper, looking down at her coffee. 

“So-” 

“Cind-” They both started at the same time and laughed nervously, realising they’d interrupted each other. 

“You go.” Peter nodded. 

“It’s been a long time huh?” Michelle spoke. 

“Yeah, it has.” 

“How have you been?” She asked sincerely. 

“Good. Keeping my head above water. Senior year and all. What about you?” 

“Same as you. My mom keeps pressuring me about Ivy League colleges.” 

“I’m sure you’ll get into any of them. You’re brilliant.” 

“Thank you Peter.” She smiled softly and Peter swore his heart stopped beating for a millisecond. 

“No problem.” 

“Umm, Cindy said you wanted to ask me something.” 

“She did?” Peter pretended he had no idea, he was definitely going to kill Cindy later for putting him under this much pressure.  

“Yeah, when she came over to me earlier. She said it was important.” Peter hated Cindy and her nosy busy-body self sometimes. 

 “Umm, well…I…I was wondering if..you’d..umm…if…you’d…managed to study for the spanish test today.” He rushed the end bit, chickening out last minute. He couldn’t ask her out, the words refused to leave his mouth. His palms were sweaty and it suddenly felt as though he’d been pushed into a fire - he was nervous. The smile resting on Michelle’s face dropped as she cocked her head to look at him, confused etched on her soft features. Peter wanted to lean over and iron out the little frown lines that were drawn across her forehead. Her skin look so incredibly soft, like the shea butter moisturiser she uses (though he doesn't know if she still uses it anymore) and her lips were- 

“The Spanish test?” She echoed, bringing him out of his thoughts. 

“Yeah," He shook his head. "I mean…I’d had no time to study and I was hoping I wasn’t the only one.” Keep digging Parker, just keep digging that hole. Maybe it’d be big enough to bury you in it. 

“Umm, yeah, I studied, sorry Peter.” Peter nodded. 

“Okay.” 

“Was that all?” NO, he wanted to say. 

“Yes,” he replied. 

Michelle got up and slung her bag over her shoulder. 

“Well, good luck Peter. It was nice talking to you again.” 

“Thanks, I’ll need it.” He laughed. “It was nice speaking to you too.” 

Michelle began walking away slowly, as though she didn’t really want to leave. Peter chewed on his bottom lip, internally slapping himself for blowing his chance like that. Was he really going to finish high school without asking her out. Once? It's not like anyone expected less of him, he was Peter Parker, a dork, a nobody, him with Michelle Jones? The most sought after girl at school, the brightest, smartest, most beautiful girl at school being with him, it was very laughable. Don't even bother, Peter, she'll never- 

“Umm,, Michelle, wait up.” Peter gathered his books and stumbled after her. 

“Yes?” Michelle turned around, a dim hopeful look in her eye, barely visible, but there nonetheless. 

“Actually, I was also wondering, if you…you’d wanna go out with me tomorrow night. I mean, you don’t have to, I know you’re very busy…not that I stalk you or anything, it’s not like I have your schedule memorised or anything-” 

“Peter, I’d love to.” Michelle interrupted, placing her hand softly on his shoulder. 

“Wait, what?” The hand on his shoulder was sending bolts of electricity shooting through his body and he's pretty sure if it wasn't for the fact that he was Spider-Man, he'd be fried from head to toe by now. 

“I’d love to go out with you tomorrow.” The girl smiled warmly. 

“Umm, great. Thanks.” THANKS?? 

“Should I take your number? So you can text me-” “Yeah, yeah, umm-” Peter dropped his books, looking for his phone in his pocket. He scrambled to the floor, picking them up as he handed his phone to Michelle. She punched and saved her number in his phone and handed it back. 

“I’ll text you.” Peter nodded, waving his phone at her. 

“I’m looking forward to it. See you in Spanish.” Michelle nodded before walking back towards the table with all her popular friends. 

I just asked out Michelle Jones and she said yes. He wanted to do a victory dance right here in the hall but he didn’t want anyone to think he was a bigger dork than he was. He left the cafeteria with a wide grin on his face and the beautiful smile of a brown-skinned goddess imprinted in his memory. His phone vibrated in his back pocket and he shuffled all his books to his left arm to pull it out. It was a text from Cindy. 

 You owe me ;)

*****

I may or may not write a part 2 or 3 to this we’ll see

[foggyinjapan-blog]

3rd Nov. Birthday!!

For some reason I am up and awake at 6.30. I’m like a kid on Christmas morning. How did this happen? I have been struggling to wake up at 8.30 for the last week and now I'm up before the sun. I have to be in Kyoto at 10am to meet up with the hosts that will be showing me an authentic samurai experience. I leave plenty of time to get ready but of course, still rush out the door. I really don't want to be late for my date with a katana! As I ride my bike I’m singing, I don’t care if anyone hears because it’s my birthday and I’m bloody happy!! I see a police car has pulled someone over. The lights are flashing and the funniest thing ever! It’s like they have extender arms underneath them to lift them higher hahaha! I feel like that is super pointless but whatever, you go Glen Coco! 

An American girl meets us at the nearby station. She is wearing a kimono and will be our interpreter. We arrive at the Samurai house which was an old samurai’s house built about 200 years ago. The lady explains that the house is in very good condition for being that old and that is a very larger house to have owned back in that period; it includes bedrooms, a tea room and kitchen, plus a guest house (3 rooms), front and back garden and an outhouse. She said for someone to have built this, they must have been in a very high role. Inside is some beautiful artwork and a statue. First we are dressed in the samurai clothing that they would have worn back then. It looks really hard to tie up and it has to be precise! In the second room we enter there are 12 panels around the room. Each panel has a picture and they all represent a month of the year. November is 2 crows in the autumn leaves. Above one of the walls there are 2 symbols cut out over the wooden beam. One symbol represents the samurai's side of the family and the other one represents the woman of the house's side of the family. They are first carved separately and then together. Beautiful. Our sensei for today explains how he is worried that Japanese history is being forgotten by some as the culture modernises. (This all coming from him and then translated by the American interpreter)

We are shown the katana and a traditional performance that is done often when practicing the art. First he bows to the audience and then the sword. When he bows to the sword, the left hand is placed on the floor first and taken off last. This is in case an enemy tries to attack while you are bowing and so you can quickly grasp your sword with your right hand. He then starts to whip it around. The sounds it makes is so loud! The art of a samurai has a lot to do with meditation. You need to be focused and mentally able to face anything. I’m very impressed with his skills. And very close, I feel like if I were any closer, I would’ve gotten a hair cut. We are taken into the back garden where the samurai demonstrates what we will be doing today. A straw mat is in front of him, and in 2 seconds flat he has sliced it up like your favourite dessert. He is very good! After this it is our turn. We go to the front garden and are all given a wooden sword. When handing a katana to another person the blade has to be facing you with your hands cupped at the bottom. We practiced the foot steps first, and then the motions with our arms. Very cool!

The interpreter asks who would like to go first. Awkward silence so I volunteer! WOOO LET’S DO IT! I am given the katana the way I just explained and have a few practice movements. It’s a lot heavier than the wooden one and it’s a little bit rickety. I move over to where the mat is standing and again, practice movements. Like when you practice your golf swing but absolutely no momentum. Right, it was time to go. The first swing was ok. I hit it really high up which meant there was a lot more mat to slice! The second one went flying over the garden, woo! By the fourth one I was a winner!! That was so much fun! I walk over to the others and I am literally shaking. What a crazy and one-of-a-kind experience!

After everyone else had had their turn, we drank some tea and headed back inside. Next to experience was meditation. I have tried many times before but haven’t actually reached full zen. It is a difficult skill for one to have. To help with today’s meditation, they have metal bowls which make a beautiful sound when played right. We face outwards and take deep breaths through the nose, out the mouth while our hosts play the sounds from the bowls. Taking in turns, a bowl is placed on our heads and played. It feels like someone is pushing really hard on your head but the sounds easily takes that feeling away. These bowls actually originate from Hong Kong (maybe?? I can’t remember!). The reason they didn’t use the Japanese version is because they were too heavy and would’ve squashed us haha! Our sensei then plays us a song on a traditional Japanese flute. It sounds exactly like historic Japan. So beautiful! I have had such an amazing experience and I’m so glad I got to do this on my birthday. November 3rd is also culture day in Japan, I have learned about the culture and history of the samurai today. Culture - check!!

I leave the samurai’s house and venture into central Kyoto. I’m pretty hungry so if I see somewhere I’d like to go for lunch, I’m going to stop. On a random side street there is a restaurant, a lot of people seem to be going in so I am intrigued. I walk in and there’s some other people waiting too; if you have to wait in a restaurant in Japan, you know it’s going to be good! I am seated on a larger table where other people are sitting too. They hand me an English and Japanese menu, brilliant! I end up ordering pork tenderloin cutlet with crab croquette which comes with rice, salad and miso. Oh, of course a beer! A couple is seated next to me and we get talking! His English is so good! I was saying how I am going to Hakuba for the winter to snowboard and he said lived in Vancouver for years. Brilliant, this is my type of person! We talked about so much shit including his eBay business and how not many people in Japan use eBay (random); ideas for my business plans in the future; how Japanese don’t speak in English a lot and it must be hard for me (it’s not); she is a DJ at a famous club in Kyoto as well! So cool! They also gave me a couple of bars to go to! Brilliant people! As we were talking they bought out sesame seeds with a mortar and pestle. No idea what to do so I start crushing them like everyone else. Once crushed, you can add your choice of sauce which are in front of you then dip your cutlets in it. Cool! The food was amazing and I’ve really stumbled onto a winner here! We cheers-ed to a great meal and I was on my way again!

I choose to do a bit of shopping after because my sister and her family sent me some money! Have a browse in the antique stores and other stores. I end up buying a shirt that says “fisherman’s club - hookers” hahaha and a brilliant hat which I am so in love with! I stop at a cafe called Cream Soda. Everything made here looks like it’s from a cartoon, cute! The girls behind me are staring at me... why! I can see you! Have you never seen a gaijin before?? (Gaijin means forgiener but literally translates to outsider haha!) I order a strawberry milk with whipped cream. It’s pretty delicious and the straw is a love heart! “I love it!”

After this I need a drink. The only bar I can find that's open at this hour (3.30pm) is an Irish bar, great! Pint of beer. Cocktail for Ash because I’m missing her! Scooner, and I am pissed haha! I had a good chat with the bartender but the only other people that were in the bar were a group of middle aged tourists. Time to go home and get ready! I’m feeling some fried chicken so I stop for some of Lawson’s famous chicken. Delicious! So bad for you though.. I’m pretty drunk at this stage and I start singing and minding my own business. Are you allowed to ride a bike when you’re intoxicated? Oh well, I’m on vacaaay!! I blink and suddenly realise that I don’t recognise anything around me... I think I’ve missed the turn. This is what I get for singing and prancing about. There’s a 7/11 on the next corner so I stop, wifi, toilet, ask for directions and leave with some more chicken hahaha! Back the way I came... I missed it by a long shot!

I get ready and grab a taxi to Zaza Pub. My taxi driver is the nicest man ever! He doesn’t know much English and my Japanese isn’t great either but we still manage to make conversation. The words we understood were: Koala, kangaroo, the station where I was going, little, have a nice day, thankyou so much. I think that was it haha! I walk into the bar and grab myself 2 Heinekens - don’t want to have to come back so soon. I end up playing darts with some French guys. The French are actually so about themselves hey! I could tell that was how they were bought up though... surely they’re not doing this on purpose. I start talking to some Brazilians and this old Japanese guy. What a legend! He knows everything! Hahaha we had great conversation to my recollection and many ‘o’ beers!! We ended up drinking and talking until late. Great guys! Time for Lawson’s chicken and bed though. Lucky I didn’t ride my bike into the city... She would not have held up!

4th Nov.

It's a write off. So exhausted and hung. The only thing I can do is make spaghetti at dinner.

[xxflora]

@asphixya “from the Hit Me meme: 5, 6, 7, 11, 12, 13, 14, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 24, 25, 30, 35, 39, 44, 45, 52, 56, 57, 71, 72, 73, 75, 77, 78, 81, 82, 105, 107, 113, 119, 122, 124, 125, 127, 135, 140, 141, 142, 143, 144, 145, 147, 148, 150 [ lol I might as well say all of them”

yes, I agree. You should have asked me to do them all at this point but it’s ok~

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

wellllll probably. I only really like drinking at home where I know it’s safe so probably?

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

people with stories (usually sad ones) and pretty smiles.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

hopefully????? I mean he says he likes me a lot so I think I have a pretty good chance?

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

that’s confidential I think. ;)

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

this one and this one also this one sometimes this one and don’t forget this.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

yes, but please don’t mess it up. It gets tangled so easily...

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

...I want to.

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

YES.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

no...he disappeared.

19. Do you like bubble baths?

yes.

20. Do you like your neighbors?

I picked a building that has no neighbors for a reason aha.

21. What are you bad habits?

I bite my nails. And I hate cleaning really. And I order takeout too much.

22. Where would you like to travel?

Iceland.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

going to sleep is my favorite activity. I put so much work into my sleep routine tbh.

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

My boobs. I’m built like a child even though I’m in my mid-twenties.

30. Do you ever want to get married?

I do but I don’t know how safe it would be. I might put you in danger.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

I love little clothing shops and cafes and also skinfood because it’s so cute~

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

outer space definitely

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

the simple fact that my business is still...in business...I have to unlock the door to keep living.

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

the fact that  I have such a hard time trusting people.

56. Favourite colour?

#FA957F

57. Favourite food?

chicken. And pizza. And coffee.

71. Craving something? What?

a hug really. Just a really long hug. I miss you.

72. What colour are your towels?

like...off white? I think? I more cream color.

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

7 and then two pillow pets and three stuffed animals...

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

...yeah.

75. Favourite animal?

foxes.

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

vanilla.

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

STRAWBERRY

81. Favourite tv show?

Idk? I listen to music more than I watch tv. And I read more? I don’t have a telly.

82. Favourite movie?

I don’t know really...there are too many to choose from.

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

nope!

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

no.

113. What was your childhood nickname?

“girl”

119. Favourite book?

Mansfield Park

122. Is cheating ever okay?

no. No it’s not.

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

no.

125. Do you believe in true love?

yes!

127. What makes you happy?

remembering that the love of my life loves me as much as I love him.

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

I once stole my brother’s shirt and told him it was the cat. We...didn’t have a cat.

140. Summer or Winter?

summer.

141. Night or Day?

day.

142. Favourite month?

May.

143. Are you a vegetarian?

nope.

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

none.

145. Tea or Coffee?

coffee.

147. Mars or Snickers?

neither. I don’t really like chocolate.

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.” -Rumi

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? 

It’s the Bible. Genesis 31:50 “...though no one is with us, remember that  God is a witness between you and me.”

...I don’t know what that means but that’s super strange.

[chanelmoon4]

june 27 2017

mms update on ppl stuff I guess. I rather not have my journals be about ppl but hey you can't avoid them. Like I said before hopefully ill have time to refer back to my past and talk about what has happen then because having children, being married, having a divorce and just changing my views about life is a lot and view important to me. Never really though I was a person tell all that happen to me. So grateful for it even though I wish it could have all been different

I had such a huge journal entry just stilling on my laptop then it had to freeze on me so ill try to cap up some things that have happen. It’s just not quite the same real calling memories after they have happened. When its fresh its the best. Then can tamper you emotions currently and make you type it different. Regardless it paints some kind of picture. 

Lets start with Jake because I just know I need him gone.. Still wish I could be fiends with him but ya you just gotta learn to stay away from people that ultimately bring you down. You can't change ppl and you should try to. He likes where he's at too much and I'm not going to try and open his mind to know things. I've already done what I can with him. But I guess that why you meet half the ppl you do you. You somehow help each other in big or small ways and be on you way when it’s all said and done. Sad, but the more it happens to you the more you just let it happen and appreciate what is.  I kept thinking we would naturally break off because he just always wanted to hang at his house sharing a room with his brother. But then his brother moved out and then it just became easier that way. It was cool but just still didn't help are stagnant communication. Half the time I just listen to the only things he knows and likes to talk about his fabricating work, car stuff and his x girlfriends being still about stuff not letting him see his sons. I like that he talks a lot actually but it was just so limited and so much opened up anger in him its just overwhelming. I can't blame him though both of the girls he has babies with complete crazies just not letting him see then just because there relationship went south. He works, he well doesn't drink anymore. Anyways those girls don't have room to talk because they have partied as well. Anyways lets get to the recent stiff. I hung out with him one night ya and this night we smoked. (Haven’t been doing anything like that but the opportunity arrived. my view about greens is wish washy I can live without it but its nice to have every blue moon. for now I'm going to keep it that way and I don't fee bad about it because its not controlling my life.) Then we got into this weird conversation about his x girlfriend with his kid Camille( uhhhhhhh and this is how me and Jake know each other from the past. actually embarrassing to say if I had to explain this to some one :( but she was one of my one and my best friend for a long time. there can be a whole book about her in my life but ill say one thing about her the try and make this shorter she is crazy. she. is. crazy! had a lot of boyfriends and kind what got me on a bad path. also went crazy on the end and had sex with my husband......... I didn't know tell about six months ago.... man I should do a journal entry about this but crap... k so ya anywise we broke off are friend ship around when link was one and haven't or will never talk to her sense) k! So ya Jake stated talking bout her and just problems and its awe all normal but then started saying g maybe she's only being crazy mean cause she still likes him and wants him to suffer rescue it dint work out and she has to live seeing him because they have a kid together now. Soooooo ya it got way weird and eventually I told him to stop and then rest of the night was weird. We have like a little text fight about it. Having him claim that it was about his son and that he was angry about that and all that. He somewhere inside would take that crazy girl back. Just the other day I was talking to ppl at work about relationships where this girl was talking about how her x would start talking bout other girls inform of her and how there were great or complicated. If your speaking about other ppl when your in a relationship then you mind isn't in the right spot and your setting yourself up to cheat. It’s been about 5 days we haven't even texted. Today he hit me up saying he was sorry and it was all about his some and trying to find a reason for her craziness. And I understand I would do the same in his position he is in just trying to figure out what’s going on in that crazy girls mind. I told him I need more space basically and left it as that. There’s more to all this but I'm summing up the best I can and without fixing all this grammar just to comfort myself about the five year old language I'm spitting out. (Quickly spitting out) I want space so we will see how long this last. He’s got anger problems so I know what he said wasn't meaningful. He wants to get back to kissing and such. Way over that. I could see me hanging out with him a time or to in the future before school starts but I really just need him to be gone. I hope I can be strong enough. 

Ok mmm next is Jordan. Noting with him ha. Just hung out another time exchanged book had some good talk and that was it. He’s moving to st George and saw him at the pool once with a chick.. So that was kind of weird. He said he had a lesbian friend so that could have been her. Regardless I still didn't have enough feelings to wanna keep up with him and he the same. Let just hope I get my books back some time this fall

k. Damn it I'm going to try and be super honest with this section even though I don’t want to be now cause I gave some stupid hint on twitter that I was going got put shit on twitter so now I'm constantly scared that he did find this tumbler and could just crush my sole. He could expose this to ppl. He could think I'm a freak. I just don't know and now its really kinda sucks. But oh well. Regardless you can get away from ppl really easily and never see then again. I hardly ever see him anyway ( yay ready to make mistakes) I'm not really sure where to start sense my normal entry gets deleted. But he went to Scotland. I think he had a snap post or two that were suggestive. (Could have been to anyone) one I think was hi going on in his jeep alone with a song from Taylor swift saying “all you had to do was stay and a snap f sunset. Idk whey I think something with a sunset. I think that one I'm overanalyzing. (you gotta remember to take things into account but not also over do it. synchronicity really is everywhere but sometimes ppl accidently say things not trying to be offensive but then people end up taking it that way, that’s a really bad destructive habit!... so usually I just try and look for synchronicity but only the good ones. if it can come off as bad I just try to disregard it for the most part. idk... sometimes I do take things that he's trying to tell me he doesn't like me and signs that he doesn't but with him its different clue I think he knows the game or whatever bull crap and is just trying to tell me in some way. who know idk idk  but anyways I love looking of the good signs in life and try not to get offensive less I feel its clear enough.. idk ) then shortly after sends a snap saying he's like on a lonely road by himself or something. I decided to respond and to invite him to this movie night thing with ppl from the pool and just said “don't make it too lonely.” then asked him to come to wonder women the next night. Surprisingly he said he could and that was good but a shocker. Just because I'm too chicken to ask him on that date date thing. I'm calling that night are date thing so it can be over with? :S soooooo weeewh there’s a lot I could say about the wonder women movies that was like super crazy synchronized with I guess a thingy we have? Like so much! It was awesome but god there’s something fucked up with me it was like hitting me in the face but yet I was not satisfied...!!! And if its still not making my bell completely ring I'm sure its not at all for him :///(I think I'm just angry I can just get alone time with I'm and don't know what’s going on) it was still way cool to see him. He tried bringing up this stuff about energy everywhere. 1 her want to talk more about it with me. 2 he's teasing me.idk. I wish I would have been more social with him but I have such a hard time singling jarred out for a long time with other people around us. It would just make it obvious and we were around work people. He coming back to work this fall and ya I just don't need people thinking I really like him. ( ah I hats saying that I like him. I like what I see and what might not completely mesh with him I still find so adorable..... I really really hope he thinks the same for me and not just a weird girl he can't avoid and doesn't want to be rude too. Sometimes I wish he would be just so I can really know. should be clear enough tho.. he's not talking to me lol oh well)  so it was kinda stupid to finally invite him to hang out and have it with people from work. At one point before we walked into the theater are eyes met form a distant and we both and the super anxious look on are face. It was great! He openly said “sorry texting my family in a group text” that was kinda random and kinda a sign that he's not seeing anyone but who knows. Right as we walked into the theater I have know idea fucking why but I said under my breath not even thinking about anything in particular and he was near me “man I'm no good at this” and he did say something back it was strange and I feet like Emily heard. He said something like “don't worry about or neither am I” gaaaaaaahhh! Fucking shisdkfjsldkfj ha idk so trying to fast forward. We sat next to eachother and I forgot how ackward it is to sit next to people or a ton of people for that matter. Made me so anxious especially because I love snuggling in a theater and more used to that if I ever go. He moved his hand a lot but not in one of those stupid obvious positions waiting to be held. I wanted to um feel his energy more sting next to him more but there were too many distractions to decipher. I had my hands crossed really like the whole time. Again we were next to everyone from work I just couldn’t let them find out! It was so great seeing so many things unfold in that movies that correlated to him and I though! There seemed to be a lot but I really am not going to go through the whole move about it. I'm just going to watch it again when it comes out on DVD. The movies ended we all ackwardly walked out I was tired as shit at the time cause it was past 12. Talked bout some stuff about it and all went home. 

 (I need more paragraphs. so here’s one lol.) I've never had so much synchronicity show up in a crush like this ever I just like gotta like just like idk know and just give what I can idk idk.mad but I've been so so salty lately like really I was hitting a low then. Work had made me way more aggressive then I've ever been I really hate it. I don't want to be an angry aggressive person or overly dominate. But I'm afraid my surroundings have made me so ://////// I'm trying not to think about that to much and just think that its good for me to practice this and that I've been excelling at it well. The things are all of it will change soon enough with school this fall. I know ill be focus on other things and it will just keep changed. Especially if I quit my job this fall or winter. So back to captain it up with Jared. I've been so less centered again and so I think I had this small/ big peak of scarification with that movie that quickly faded right after it. Usually if anything happens between us I'm like back to liking him call over again. This time I just got just more frustrated. Probably because it was all another wonderful fantasy and not something that happened in real life that I could say we both experienced. I. Just. Want. To make things happen between us so I can have clarity that we are going to be friends or try for something more or just clear cut no so I can get the hell was form the pool and focus a little better. I waaaant that. Fucking shit! This person just fucked my brain up from stuff from the past or something and it’s just so easy to get sucked back into it. So I just need to get closer to this man or remove myself completely. Trying not to get angry about it. But ya so far he's just being a floater boy when I need answers. But the more I push the more I know going to make the answer no. It probably is a no anyways. I'm sure I'm annoying. I used to be cooler trust me. I swear ppl around u influence you so much and when I was reading more not around crazies at the pool. idk.... oh and really think I shouldn't have done this because I'm sure it passed him off.... if he even checks. I deleted all my tweets and hoping to plan to not tweet any more. or for a really really long time. I'm level headed I am. This just weird thing going on its just hard to communicate things and just make it look like crazy move. Hope I didn't fuck it up. Also were being stupid and sent music snaps that made it look like I didn't give a crap. I'm so mean!!!!! Seriously been so salty. ugh :(

Still get on tinder occasionally. I get likes of really cute looking guys on there to match up with frankly. Lots of them are just too far away or I just get scared and do not want to take the work to get to know new ppl. Plus I just HATE texting people long distance or just having got to know you bull crap on it. I rather have people come into my life. I just end up taking to people a few times then ignore them tell it stops. Oh well. I sorta like it that way anyway but I'm still looking and that’s good I guess. I just focus on one person at a time. that just kinda my thing its hard to get attached to several men and i do not like doing that. thats not what my life is all about attracting as many as i can like that! 

gosh this was a lot and still not a lot i didn't ever get to say about what I've been learning lately in my books. not to mention i had a logged mediation finally. and holly shit i got soon much crap bit up in me its crazy. really you get keep up with that crap because you pick up negative crap from everywhere and hold in in you forever! i deeply feel if i can just get back to the real me things will work out better know matter what it is. I really need to find myself and be even more stable if anything in my life is going to go my way or if I'm going to be able to give myself to Jared/or any man. I really am quite a stable person, always have been. So it’s really frustrating for me to be stuck into something like this. Wish he could see that or that I could show him things that have helped me... but that’s only if you believe in that stuff. Or let you mind wander there enough to see truths in it.  Knowledge truly is power... and takes a lot of responsibility to keep it...

 Another things ill quickly say cause I've been spending way too much time on this one and I going over to my sisters tonight, 5 http has help me with my speech problem and is also a mood enhancer. I think I want stop taking it though because it’s like fix that seems like permanently but I'm more aggressive from it and almost more anxious... mother f. I probably should stop experimenting with things cause sometimes it really does backfire and isn't helpful but you know what if you don't try you will never know and there are so many things that I was scared to try or ppl would think is pointless/weird that ended up being awesome! The 5 http hasn't screwed with me that much but I learned form it and know it’s not a thing to take when your brain is already back to normal. Its thing to take if you actually are having depression had a car accident, addiction problems things like that. I took it and it seems to fix my problem but now its not helpful cause I back to normal and it’s overloading my brain.  Also I found that one way to clean your entry is to take a bath with sea salt and baking soda and ya i can't pretty much say it seem like its cleans out you aura layers. But you must go in the sun afterwards. Cause it will also deplete you. I did it this morning and really everything was just so clear.... but it was bad to go to work right after. I freake’n sucked everything up :((that like my biggest problem somehow I absorbs everything weather its good or bad. for me seems like I just need to say clear of things. man I'm just hurting myself so much. holding onto a guy that doesn't even have strong feelings for me touring myself staying in all these toxic environments waiting on a silly dream that I don't know if I want anymore or will want when it all comes down to it. ..... and for some reason I just keep doing it. sheesh it must be for some reason. just a little longer and this thing lingering behind me will be all gone or unraveled.

Holly crap this one is huge. Ill spell check it for now and re read it later. lol it will be interesting to see all the stagnant sentences I've created.