#he eats bland ass meat and veggies
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meeks-just-wants-to-scroll · 1 month ago
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Do you think micah hates vegetables?
I think he hates the whimsy of a Danimals yogurt cup and a Kid Cuisine TV dinner with mac and cheese and dinosaur nuggets.
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officerwhitmore · 16 days ago
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‘Then let’s eat.’
Vincent’s sheepish smile turned into a hearty chuckle as he cast a grin up at Tony, the man’s three simple words evoking a memory of a phrase he hadn’t thought of since before June could walk. “In the words of my father, who, let’s be honest, probably stole it from Stephen King,” he said, “‘good food, good meat, good god, let’s eat!’” He laughed a little, returning his eyes to the flimsy table, where his invisible circles had somehow turned into hearts. “That was the prayer he used every time mom forced him to say grace. Of course, she fucking hated it, but I found it hilarious. It was pretty much the only time he had a sense of humor.”
Vince looked up when he heard Tony reach into a cabinet to pull out two plates. They didn’t match, which unfortunately didn’t come to Vince as much of a surprise. He didn’t get to look long, but the cabinet itself was fairly empty, with very few bowls and drinking glasses, the top shelf almost entirely populated with plastic cups that appeared to have been collected over time from cheap restaurants, though Vince somehow doubted Tony could afford to visit the restaurants and get them himself. Those, like the rest of his belongings, seemed to have been acquired secondhand.
There was a joke to be made about ‘works of art’ that Vince would also be incredibly interested in tasting, but he didn’t want to come off too pushy or eager even if less than twenty minutes ago, he’d shoved his hand down the man’s pants and told him all about how badly he wanted to choke on his cock. In exchange for keeping his mouth shut, he let himself enjoy the sight of Tony’s ass as he shook thick blue tortilla chips onto their plates and scooped copious amounts of topping all over them, the melty cheese and steaming meat somehow paling in comparison to Tony’s own visual deliciousness. Maybe Vince was a cannibal. There wasn’t a single part of the man he didn’t yearn to taste.
Vincent’s mood darkened upon Tony returning the conversation to his marriage, the smile on his face crumbling to dust. Placing both feet on the ground, he turned in his chair to face the table properly, pulling in a breath and attempting to focus on the music playing on the counter a few feet behind him. Some hip-hop/R&B hybrid that was good on the ears, though, strangely, the artist seemed to be comparing her love interest to a new pair of shoes. Back in Chicago, before she quit her career to become a stay-at-home mother, Stella had collected shoes. She liked the heeled kind — elegant boots and strappy sandals, all in various muted colors that complimented the nice jeans she’d wear in the winter or the dresses she’d wear when the weather was right. Dresses he’d loved to sneak his hand underneath in the back of the movie theater or, one time, during Thanksgiving at her parents’ place, which had led to a quickie against the dryer in the laundry room as her sister’s cat stared at them with bland disapproval from atop a pile of unwashed towels.
The plate Tony sat in front of him was glorious enough to pull Vincent out of the memory, his attention immediately drawn to the mountain of chips piled with cheese, veggies, and perfectly-seasoned meat, the entire meal a beautiful, multicolored mess of flavor he couldn’t wait to consume. His stomach growled and twisted, mouth watering almost immediately, but he placed his hands in his lap and forced himself to wait as Tony set down his own plate and retrieved the water bottles Vince had forgotten about right around the time Tony stepped into his space. He set the bottles down along with a small stack of napkins that he’d clearly gotten on clearance. They were left over from the 4th of July, proudly emblazoned with the vivid colors of the American flag. Vince nearly snorted at the randomness of it, but by the grace of baby Jesus, he bit his tongue just in time.
Tony sat down across from him on what appeared to be a foldable camping chair, the poor thing squeaking under his considerable weight. It made Vince wonder how it would feel to be crushed by Tony’s weight as he fucked him from behind, pinning Vince to the mattress so tight, he could hardly breathe. He only stopped staring at Tony’s hands — which, endearingly, were neatly folding the ‘Murica napkins like this was the fucking Cheesecake Factory — when the man declared that he didn’t judge Vince for ‘any of this.’ The flirting while married. The kissing while married. The fucking while married. In a word, the adultery. It should’ve given Vince some relief. Instead, it only made him wonder what exactly Tony had witnessed to make him feel like Vince couldn’t be blamed. It slowly occurred to Vince that it had to have been the scratches on his cheek during the traffic stop. Vince hadn’t explicitly confirmed his wife had done it, but Tony seemed to have come to that conclusion given the fact that he immediately attempted to commiserate by showing Vincent the bruise on his arm that had come from his ex. Vincent glanced at the arm in question, quick, furtive, and saw that the bruise had mostly faded, reduced to a subtle patch of green. He still wondered about the story behind it. Still itched to ask, still ached for justice. But in the end, he wouldn’t be seeing this guy again, and he wouldn’t be alive much longer anyway. There wasn’t much use in spending much more of their first and last hookup dwelling on what couldn’t be undone.
Vincent offered Tony a brief hum of acknowledgement and kept his eyes to himself, folding a napkin for no reason other than to kill time until the man gave some indication that it wouldn’t be rude to start eating. He was just beginning to think the topic was over when Tony implied he was about to be ‘totally honest,’ which indicated that Vince would be forced to suffer more of it. Vince’s sour disposition immediately cracked, however, when Tony boldly declared that he hadn’t been sure what Vince’s ‘deal’ was, and wasn’t about to ask. Vince barked a wheezy laugh, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he completed the third fold of his work-in-progress origami crane.
“My deal?” he asked, the mirth still rich in his voice. He glanced up at Tony for a moment, completing another fold without looking. “You mean why I came on to you, right? Well, to be honest, it’s a bit more complicated than you might think.” He turned the ‘Murica napkin at a 90 angle and made a smaller fold that would become the left wing, still grinning in amusement. “I could give you some ridiculous cover story like, 'I'd rather eat Trump's ass than remain celibate for the rest of my life,' but I guess now’s as good a time as any to confess that this was all just an elaborate plot to get you to join the Church of Scientology.” Tsk-ing his lips, he gave a quick shake of his head, feigning disappointment. “Unfortunately, as soon as I got my hand on your cock, I realized I forgot to bring the thousand-year contract I was gonna have you sign. Which is honestly a huge fucking bummer because now I'm not gonna get the movie deal they promised me.”
Chuckling, he looked up at Tony with a grin, making another fold as he watched him take a drink of water. “But really. I appreciate your
 everything.” Vince looked back down at the unfinished crane, something tingling in his chest. "Thanks.”
When Tony cleared his throat, an obvious signal that he was moving swiftly on, Vincent released a particularly loud sigh of relief, too hungry and anxious to feel embarrassed over it. He rubbed his hands together and looked down at the nachos, breathing a laugh when Tony joked about liking it spicy. The man’s teasing wink went straight to Vince’s cock, and suddenly he didn’t feel quite so uncomfortable anymore, a bit of the tension bleeding out of his tight shoulders as he pushed the unfinished crane to the side.
"What are you talking about? Of course it's gonna be good,” Vince said, grinning with playfully furrowed brows. “So far, everything I’ve tasted of yours is fucking amazing — and I’m not just saying that ‘cuz I want you to touch my dick again,” he said with a playful laugh. Spying the jalapenos Tony had put on the side of the plate, Vincent lowered his voice a little, speaking quickly. “But I’m not gonna lie, I’m also kinda thinking about that right now too.”
Vince hovered his hand over the pile of jalapenos for a long moment, wiggling his fingers in indecision. Tony would want him to eat a jalapeno. It would help him save face if he ate a jalapeno. If the guy was of Latin descent, which Vince suspected, then it would be suicide if Vincent chose not to eat a jalapeno. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Resisting the urge to glance up at Tony, Vince picked up the smallest slice of jalapeno he could find. Halfway to placing the jalapeno on top of a well-loaded chip, he huffed a breath, shook his head, and put it back, immediately grabbing and wiping his fingers off on a fresh napkin. “Nope. Nope, nope, I’m sorry, I can’t, they’re just—” Vincent looked up at Tony, shaking his head and laughing at his own patheticness. “I tried, I really did. I’m just too weak for it, man.”
Still laughing a little, he picked up a chip loaded with cheesy goodness, holding it up for a second just to admire its beauty as the glossy cheddar cheese pulled up from the plate in thin strings. He ate it in one large bite, the combination of flavors electrifying his tongue as he chewed with wide, mind-blown eyes. As soon as he swallowed, he tilted his head at Tony, mouth open in amazement. “Holy shit, Tony, these nachos are bitchin’,” he said, so impressed with the food, he forgot to cringe at his own frat-boy vocabulary.
“Like, fucking insane.” He picked up the napkin, wiped his mouth, and immediately sat it back down. “You know, they used to have this restaurant in the Chicago Loop back in, I dunno, ‘98? They’d give us these huge fuckin’ plates. I mean, just one was big enough for me and my mom, and I swear to god, it was just a fucking mountain of toppings, and the cheese was just out of this world, dude,” he said, gesturing wildly. “It was white cheese, though. I dunno what kind exactly, but I remember thinking it kinda looked like jizz. Anyway, it was fucking delicious. And to be honest?” He pointed down at the plate, smiling big and wide. “These are the only nachos I've had that come anywhere close.”
Vince picked up another chip, this time dipping it into the glob of sour cream Tony had placed in the middle, shaking his head down at the food in amazement. “How the hell did you get so good at cooking? Did you just pull the recipe out of your head, no Google or anything?”
Admittedly, it put Tony on edge the way Vince seemed to close up on himself - arms crossed, then hands in his pockets, looking away at anything other than him. All the hallmarks of someone terribly uncomfortable with the situation and wanting to get away fast. Tony’s mind reeled for reasons - though he wasn’t sure why he did that. Did he just need to identify a reason that had nothing to do with him as a person?
Was it the shitty apartment that was too off-putting? Did he secretly hate the idea of sharing a meal with him? Had he really pushed Vince too far, too fast? Or, God forbid, did he go so fast that he was pushy and Vince felt like that wasn’t actually something he consented to? A lump formed in Tony’s throat; the last thing he needed was some small-town cop accusing him of an assault like that. The FBI would drop his ass so fast he’d still be spinning when they threw him in a cell.
Except
 He was perfect? And somehow, it wasn’t his fault, even if he apologized first. Tony swallowed hard, trying to push his tense fear away. Vince’s compliment about being real easy to get lost in brought a sheepish smile to his face. He lowered his head a bit, not sure if he wanted Vince to see the smile that brought when he was still so uncomfortable.
To hear Vince say it outloud - that he was married - did something odd to his stomach. He knew, of course he knew, he saw the ring. He saw his wife - who he had named That Blonde Bitch in his head - and how she was a pretty blonde even if she had murder and disdain on her face every time she looked in Vince’s direction. So it wasn’t surprise, it wasn’t shock. It wasn’t even guilt or regret, really, though maybe there was some of that. It was
 sympathy? Pity? And maybe a bit of righteous anger. Not at Vince, but for Vince. Maybe for both of them. They both deserved better than this, but they’d also dug their own graves, so who did they really have to blame?
Tony chewed his bottom lip, staring out the window above the kitchen sink. The blinds were drawn down, but one of the slats was broken off and a bit of afternoon sunlight filtered through. That felt fitting. When he looked back, he swore he saw a single tear slide down the man’s face that Vince quickly wiped away. His brows furrowed with concern.
This was all a lot more complicated than he anticipated, but maybe he was an idiot for not anticipating it. It didn’t make him want to run, though.
Now came the thing that really did shock him - Vince changing his mind and declaring he’d stay. His first impulse was to ask Vince if he was sure, but it felt like if he asked Vince would change his mind again and be out that door, never to return. Watching Vince pull out one of those shitty, flimsy, mis-matched chairs at this shitty, flimsy card table that served as a dining table was almost surreal. Certainly this guy had a nice home, with real actual furniture, he could be at. Instead, he was here.
Because here was better than home.
Here, with a stranger Vince knew nothing about, on the shittiest side of town, in an apartment that was falling apart and locked tight with a deadbolt, where he’d be eating a meal he bought the ingredients for, on chairs that Tony was convinced would break under his mass someday.
Somehow, this was still better than home, and by God Tony had never wanted to offer his hand to pull someone out of their personal hell more than he wanted to pull Vince out right now. He knew damn well what it was like to reach for even the dimmest light nearby because it was better than the darkness you were currently in.
“Then let’s eat.” He offered Vince a smile and a nod of his head, pushing himself off the counter. He was not going to look a gift horse in the mouth, even if there was some confusion behind that smile of his.
“Promise taken back, then. Hands later, after you taste this work of art here.” Reaching up to one of his cabinets, he took out two plates - mismatched entirely, of course, and set about scooping nacho mix onto chips. He was careful not to break the chips as he prepared their plates, using the spatula to make sure each chip was as covered as he could make them. Jalapenos were arranged on the side - he wasn’t sure if it would be too spicy for Vince or not. None of that ‘dump chips on a plate and put a splat of nacho-goop on top and call it a day’ like some places did.
He felt like he should acknowledge Vince’s comment about being married, but it took him a bit to find words that would be coherent. He kept his back partially to Vince as he worked on the food, making sure it looked as appetizing as it was going to taste.
“And yeah. I know you are.” He didn’t even want to say the word married outloud. It was like cancer: if you don’t say it, don’t acknowledge it, you can pretend the other person doesn’t have it. At least for a while. The plates looked perfect, though he nudged a few chips around just to prolong him standing there for a moment longer before he picked up the plates and carried them over to the table. He sat one down in front of Vince first, then one in his spot, then stepped over to grab the bottles of water and napkins and brought those over as he took a seat. He sat down carefully, never quite trusting these chairs. The one he sat on squeaked.
“I don’t judge you for any of this.” He unfolded a napkin and smoothed it across his lap, the way someone does in a fancy restaurant with actual white linen napkins, not generic-brand slightly-crunchy-thin paper napkins. Another napkin, folded once, was tucked next to his plate. No forks for this meal - nachos were meant to be eaten with fingers and chips as utensils.
“If I can be totally honest? I wasn’t sure what your deal was, and I was not about to ask. It felt like none of my business. No judgment, not from me.” That bruise on his arm that was so fresh and visible the night he got pulled over was fading away well - still slightly visible, but mostly gone now. By this time next week, it’d be gone. Tony reached for his bottle of water and unscrewed the cap, taking a swig before replacing the cap.
“Anyway,” Tony cleared his throat, moving on because he didn’t want to make Vince more uncomfortable than he already might be. Maybe he’d pick the man’s brain more later, or they’d have a discussion about it. He had opinions but they didn’t need to be shared.
“Dig in, and let me know if you think this is good. If it is, I might start doing something similar at the diner. God knows that place needs some taste added to the menu. If it’s too spicy, I can tone it down some for the diner. But
 I think you can tell I like it spicy.” He smirked at Vince, giving him a wink, hoping to lighten the mood.
This man was a rollercoaster, but he was enjoying the ride so far.
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angustully · 5 years ago
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hi, could i get the recipe for the soup you made recently? life has been, hm, bad, so i would like something cozy to counteract it!
hey friend! sorry youre having a rough time :( you should know its ham & bean soup so if you dont eat meat you can omit the ham all together or maybe add tofu? idk how good that would taste but if you try it let me know lol!
 so the base recipe i used is this: https://www.budgetbytes.com/ham-bean-soup/ and ill put all my notes/modifications below bc i am nothing if not long winded for NO reason!
ok so firstly i didnt use a slow cooker, i just threw everything into the biggest pot i had in the house. this recipe is also based around a “16 bean mix” but i didnt even see that at my grocery store so i just got a bag of great northern beans. 
i adjusted a lot of things to my liking: im not a big fan of celery or onion, so i only used 2 stalks of celery and half of a yellow onion (and i cut them kinda small so i wouldnt have big chunks of it) and i also only used 1 carrot though i probably could have put in a second one lol.
 i just wanted it to be mostly beans (which i achieved!) but if i ever make this again ill prob throw in more veggies. i had pre-minced garlic (like in the jar) and i think i only used a heaping teaspoon or something. 
OH and we had a bag of those little tiny potatoes so i quartered maybe 10 or 12 of those bad boys and put em in too, i would recommend that (i think any potato would work, the small ones were just easier to cut and i had them already). honestly i really did turn into my mom and just eyeballed everything lmao. 
ALSO, the ham part of this came from my stepdad who cooked like a whole ass hambone on sunday and then let me have all the leftovers for this soup. the principle is the same though, you put the ham hocks (as it calls for in the recipe) in w the soup while its all cooking and then once the beans/potatoes/veggies are all cooked enough you just pull it out and shred the meat off the bone, discard the bone/fat and then put the meat back in w the soup.
as for spices, i mean it is literally just ham & bean soup lol so its kind of bland to begin with i guess but i think even the 1tsp was a little too much oregano (i always forget that i dont really like oregano), so if that would be a prob for you id add less than what the recipe calls for. i added a fuckton of pepper bc i like it, and i also added a Œ tsp of liquid smoke which im not sure added THAT much flavor but my dad suggested it and hes a good cook so thats what i did lol. i also think smoked paprika would be a good addition to it. and i didnt use chicken broth/stock/bouillon or anything, i just added about 10 cups of water to the pot bc thats what it took to make sure everything was covered and mostly submerged. 
tbh everything cooked a lot faster than i expected, the recipe says simmer for 2-4 hours but my beans and potatoes were all well cooked within 90 mins. it looked thin to begin with but as it sits it thickens up so if thats a prob for you too dont worry about it as much as i did lol.
and thats it!!! jesus i really wrote a whole essay about this for no reason im sorry lol! i also made cornbread to go with it, just a plain box of jiffy mix and it was perfect i would highly recommend. if you make the soup (or if you even read all of this post LOL) let me know how it is! and i hope it brings some comfort
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l0ve-your-b0nes · 7 years ago
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Today is the day
I’m going to try and be more active on this account, sorry I’ve been slacking I’ve just been really down and I guess now I’ve gotten to the point where I’m so down I NEED to change.
I’ve gained all my pregnancy weight back and HATE everything about myself. I appreciate the kind words of “you’re a new mom, it takes a while to get back, those marks and that weight brought something beautiful into the world and you should be proud of them”
Well.. for those that it works for more power to you. I’m happy you feel that way I really truly am but I for one am not proud of anything when I look in the mirror. I can’t even stomach it or recognize myself anymore.
I’m 23, I’m not ready to wear mom clothes, to be bland, to settle for my body being this way just because I am a mother. And I don’t really feel like a lot of moms my age feel that way either.
I love my daughter more than words can describe and she was worth all of this, but she is a little over a year now and it’s time I start taking my body back.
My husband is only a couple inches taller than I am. I do not want to be this stubby fat wife. I’m stubby enough from genetics. (5’1).. I want blessed with long skinny legs but I sure as hell don’t want these short ones looking like they need caution tape saying “wide load” either. I do not want to be bigger than him.
I don’t want to feel like I’m crushing him, I don’t want to not feel comfortable being naked around him or getting on top when we want to have sex because 1. My fat ass will be out of breathe but also make him feel like he’s suffocating under me. Sorry for the TMI but seriously.
I’m sick of hating myself inside and out. At least if I feel better about the outside it’ll help me feel more confident and want to at least move out of bed or shower.
I know it won’t fix anything, and I might not be going about it in the right way but I’m doing what works for me (I do not promote anarexia) but I absolutely HATE working out. Hate it with all my being. Maybe because I feel all my weight even more while I’m doing it and it’s discouraging.
So I’ve decided that I’m going vegetarian again starting today because it’s been something I’ve wanted to do but eating a hot wing last night freaked my the hell out and made me want to vomit at the fact I was eating flesh off a bone and I NEVER want to touch them again. Just thinking about it now is making me cringe. It’s disgusting and mostly anything with meat I eat is never healthy so that stops now.
Veggies & fruit are going to be my best friends, and so is hunger. I’m done eating out of bordeom, I’m done over eating, I’m done feeling huge and wanting to cry.
I want to feel light physically and mentally and this is going to be the best decision of my life.
I’m moving back to my home state (Nj) as soon as my husband is able to find a good job there and I’m hoping that’s around summer. So in the mean time instead of dreading the time I have until I go back there I am going to spend every breathing second possible on here posting and reading things to keep me motivated and not return home being the “fat friend” or feeling like my neck is suffocating me and feeling all this extra BAD on my bones. I want to feel clean and pure. I don’t want to be a skeleton, but I don’t want to have this extra stuff hanging off me.
So, here’s the start of my journey to hopefully being pretty and skinny enough to want to post pictures on myself on this page. But until then, if anyone wants to talk about anything and everything/ join me/ whatever please do!!
I swear I’m a good listener and I’ve been through some shit and am unbelievably understanding and whatever you need I’ll try and be there. Plus you’ll be helping me keep my mind busy too 💖💖💖
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blackswallowtailbutterfly · 5 years ago
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Guarantee lot of these men aren’t even picky, they’re just uncreative and won’t even bother to try anything outside their extremely narrow view of what constitutes “normal” food. Like, I know people who actually are picky eaters, and I used to be a picky eater, but I can’t count the number of men I’ve known who actually liked a lot more than they thought they did; they’d just never bothered to try it.
For example, a former casual partner of mine was told by his doctor he should cut down on the meat and eat more greens. He was a meat and potatoes guy and had no idea where to even start. He knew I knew vegetarian meals so he asked if I could help him out. I made a cheesy pasta with tomato sauce and all my favourite veggies and herbs and he watched with trepidation as I cut up broccoli, apsaragus, spinach, zucchini, and green onions. I was think he was expecting to have to just hold his nose and eat such things, but as he took his first bite his eyes widened, and he was like, “Wait, this is really good”, and dug in enthusiastically.
Anyway, if all these men ever want to eat is some bland ass nutrient-starved food - and, no, if “hot” is your only flavouring, that doesn’t make it not bland - they can bloody make it themselves.
the number of food bloggers whose husbands seem to hate food is astounding
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tamiddyinyourcity · 5 years ago
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1:38am, Thursday, January 2nd of 2020!
I'm spending the first few days of the decade nearly fainting, pissing a lot, and constantly masturbating as a coping mechanism for depression.
And yes, I've been eating, (even a few vegetables,) drinking water, all that.....
I need more veggies and fruits, less meats and carbs.
And otherwise, im alright.
Tried to put in effort with my family, but it wasnt reciprocated, so i went in my bedroom.
Aaaaand..... not much else to report. Other than me learning to use PicsArt, and being amped to finish songs, but remembering that it's super hard to capture the entire mood or story of my life in a song, man....
Sigh.
Anyways.....
Funny how when I first met Patrick, we hung out constantly, mainly since once we had our, (or more specifically, MY,) "i think we should just be FWBs, since you're definitely attractive, and i like sex and hanging with you, but obviously i need to lower my expectations in terms of filling romantic voids", stage....
We were hooking up almost every day.
It was a cross between depression, daylight savings time making me dread the idea of walking home, wanting company, and procrastinating on creating. (When in reality, i was overworking myself dramatically.)
I really did like Patrick.
Not too spiteful of him now, since it was a complicated situation. Not the happiest about it, but letting bygones be bygones...
And, I knew he was there for me before, which I liked.
............
Something I always brought up to Patrick, was the uncanny way we met. He found it odd, and never understood why that was my favorite thing to bring up.
Since, it lead to something that made me happy, man? Cool, I'm tearing up as i write this.
Like, what's not to like about it? Being bored, mildly suicidal and posting on my otherwise pretty dead instagram, bored as hell, and since pining for my ex before him, who went off to college, and i hadn't heard from since....
I think I was working on a film set around this time, and it was alright. The director and me got into a few not so amazing moments, and i was obviously the least, yet somehow the most, important on the set. (Maybe less than 4 lines in a scene is wack, and i just kinda had to sit in frame for every single shot, even without having a line said... And definitely wasnt treated like I mattered, so that didn't help my already lost thoughts of, "whats the point of all this? Do i even truly matter, to any of these people?")
I felt like.... idk, like one random useless sheet of paper that used to be apart of an important stack of papers, that isn't cared about when it's there, but when its gone, oh boy, look at everyone chasing after it.
.....so.
Then I was on my spam, venting.
Thought, "All these people witness my vents or cries for help and watch. They never do anything. Half of them barely even respond... what's the point of even following me then, for half assed interest?"
I believe I was manually deleting tons of people, before I saw Patrick's account.
"And who even the FUCK is this guy? Do I know him, or?"
Generic dude, not a lot of pictures on his account, kinda bland.
"He follows this one AND my main, yet never likes anything, and just kind of lurks. Who the hell is this?"
Looked further down the page.....
Oh, wow.
He's actually a little cute, kinda. His profile picture is blurry, but he's not bad looking in any other picture. His skin looks nice, and his hair and eyes.... Yeah, cool, not bad looking.... Nice.
(I didn't exactly have a massive infatuation, I just noticed that he was not a hideous looking human being, and indeed, could probably get it if he wanted to get it....)
Then I kinda just remembered, "Ah damn it, I post ALL kinds of shit on my page. Breakdowns, shitposts, lewdy stuff, what the hell has this guy seen that I am not aware of? And i dont know him either.... could he be some sort of blackmailer, lurking on my page, and then one day when I'm famous, say he wants a million dollars, or he will expose all of my psychotic ass shitposting sessions online?????"
As you can tell, Azalea is not the only bitch that gets nervous about people they dont know on social media lurking their pages, lol.
Long story short, I messaged them hey. Just to see if they were chill, and to maybe smash if available
And they were.
They were kinda wack at texting and I had no idea what to say to them? Since I absolutely didnt know him, and we were probably only mutuals since I followed Audrey, and god knows how i ever even followed Audrey in the first place?????????
Almost thought, "God, this dude obviously muted both my pages and doesnt know me, and i cant just suddenly dive into his life asking about him," and unlike every other time in my life, suddenly I got cold feet at the idea of going, "Hey man, wanna fuck?"
Almost blocked him, out of pure embarrassment. (One second they'd be all for talking aimlessly and getting to know eachother just for shits and giggles, then theyd not respond or leave me on read just to say something super dry..... I thought he wasnt into me, but it turns out, thats just his personality i guess.)
Resting bitch face + an emotionally distant and naive personality + the worlds dryest voice = we could be dating for months and id still not be able to tell if he was interested in me or not...
But I think eventually I had a nihilistic moment of "fuck it", and late at night, sent him some absurd meme about butt-pee, captioned "this could be us, but you playing", and SOMEHOW.... SOMEHOW, that made him go "oh, she wants to fuck me."
I wasn't even trying to convey that message, but it still was the right one anyway. (I think half asleep me was like "im horny and exhausted, lets jokingly send this meme and just laugh with him at the absurdity of the meme the next day, with no expectations of him actually taking it as me wanting to bang him"...
And lo and behold, somehow he took it that way.
Surprised, but not unwelcomed!
And upon texting more, I then assumed from the location tags on his instagram account, that he had lived in Santa Cruz, and thought, "Okay hes a little cute, and down to bang, but I'd have to afford a Greyhound in order to meet him or something".....
Just to find out a week or so later, NIGGA IS IN MY CITY THE WHOLE TIME???? I COULDVE BEEN BANGED???? WHAT????? I was pissed at fate, but decided to not look a gift horse in the mouth, and to just be glad that I found this great information out as soon as i had.......
Then of course, hey, fast forward a few months. Waking up to the light pouring into my eyes one morning, foggy sky. The string lights above his headboard are still plugged in. Its cold, but we've got five thick ass blankets smothering us to keep us cozy. I look to my right, and there he is, Patrick himself..... Much more attractive in person, half asleep, and just hella gorgeous, arms around me, kissing me awake gently.
Sweet dude.
And that's why I like the day we met so much.
Since all it took was a little boredom, depression, paranoia, and a nihilistic "fuck it", and i message ONE random guy, send ONE meme, and then my reality changed all in a few months because of that.
It was wild to know that the smallest of gambles lead to the biggest of rewards.
2:22am, its the angel number again. "Take a peaceful and harmonious stance in all areas of life, manifest timely opportunities for yourself."
Yes, feeling good so far, loves. :)
I'm just glad to know I have control of my life like that.
The rarest moments of taking one chance, ends up changing life in months, its amazing.
I guess I really appreciate the beauty in that, you know? One day I decided to wear more earrings, or have a different facial routine, or to buy a bunch of bodysuits, buy certain perfumes just because they had a sale, get a manicure, whatever, and change my whole life around.
It's wild as fuck.
I find that amazing.
And now here I am, totally relaxed, chilling in bed way past a reasonable hour to still be awake.
.....I slightly wonder what he's doing, but I guess I don't really know.
I guess when we broke up, I wonder if he had any chances like that too, that changed his entire reality up.
A lot can happen in six seconds to change someone's life, nonetheless a week.
In six seconds, someone's best friend can get hit by a car. In an hour, theyve passed away. In a few hours, every friend you know shows their true colors to you. Your life could be torn apart.
(Random example, but still relevant nonetheless. You could ghost someone for a week, and for all you know, they've been having crisises happen nonstop....)
In a week, you could get someone pregnant, or be infatuated with a whole new lady. Imagine if I broke up with Patrick, just for the week or two to go by, and I hear "Oh, a girl I had a rebound with just told me she's keeping our baby, so, I'm gonna marry her". Anything could happen! It was a very stressful week or two of "what ifs" being imagined......
No more soap operas or tragic fanfic stories for me, it makes my thoughts terrible...
But yeah.
So for all I know, in the solid week or so it's been since our relationship ended, Azalea could have confessed her feelings and they're a whole couple now.
Or a Tinderella could have superliked him, theyve seen eachother nonstop since, whatever whatever.
He could have banged, like, 3 people a day if he really wanted to try.
He could have adopted a child from a third world country as a coping mechanism, and now has an entire kid.
HE COULD HAVE PULLED A SWORD FROM A STONE, AND BECAME THE KING OF ENGLAND BY NOW.
But what do I know? I've been minding my business, and still plan to.
......
Since it doesn't matter.
Realistically, to soothe my own thoughts, hes probably:
Just working and running errands before going to work.
Hanging with Chris.
Talking to his family about the whole "sprite to the face" moment.
On Grindr, to finally attempting sucking a dick (why is this the one thing ive been told that sticks to me? i guess i wondered if he did that as well, but i mean, i was told no anyway.)
And yeah, Tamia; who gives a fuck what he is doing?
Maybe it hurts, a little, knowing someone else's life is going completely fine withoutme in it. Microwaving chili, petting his dog, going to work, and living life,
now im gonna cry again i swear to god
Shush!
He does not value you. He never saw your worth, or bothered a real effort. He pre-bought a gift an entire month before Christmas, that he wasnt sure you would liked, and that you had already owned.
He just doesn't like you in the way you like him. And like all your friends are saying in a nice low roar for you, cheering you on, "Screw that guy, youll find better!"
And sure, it hurts picturing him "finding someone better", but it would not remotely be "better".
If anything, it would be a replacement. Or someone who just so happened to not have a weird beef with his friends, or that he simply thought would...
God, why do I keep doing this to myself?
I need to stop caring what HE thinks.
I need to remember my own freaking needs and wants.
........
I want someone who can listen to me. Love me no matter what. Stands up for me. Defends me. Never shifts blame. Never hides me from people. Can stick to a promise and keep it. And can notice the little things about me.
If he noticed the little things about me or cared how I felt, or what I wanted, he wouldn't have gotten me a cheap pair of fake pearl earrings from a random gift shop..
He would've realized any other obvious signs of things I liked, and put in an effort.
He would have wrote me a thoughtful note with the earrings, to let me know the way he felt.
He wouldn't have scoffed at my own gift to him.
And he would've already noticed that, yes, ive worn pearl earrings that are identical to the ones you gave me, plenty of times before.... and its upsetting he never noticed.
Plus, the relationship was heading nowhere.
Azalea would have never backed off or given a chance, and if she was, then, she could have been reached out sooner.
He was never gonna be able to give me the ideal relationship.
And I was always gonna have to be expected to hold his hand through relationships, or else be shunned since "hes new to things like this!"
.......fucker.
If it gets to the point where violence enters a relationship, or interference to this extent without the other person bothering to find solutions with you....
Its dead.
Now what do I do, now that my thoughts have to shift away from Patrick?
Live my life, i guess.
Lots of dates to be had, videos to make, stories to tell, and people to meet.
I'll have another moment of "thank god this one small thing turned big for me" another day really soon.
I'll be happy.
And I am also just as happy now.
Thats all.
Peace out.
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ferrybaker0-blog · 5 years ago
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The Bammy - Subway's Take On A Vietnamese Classic
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For as long as I can remember, the Vietnamese sandwich known as banh mi, has been a part of my life. Even as a Chinese American, this stuff would always be around my family and friends. It was cheap, easy to sell/make and tasted better than most American sandwiches. For $5, you can get at least four – one for each person in the typical 4-person Asian family. It was the go-to fill-up snack because it was cheaper than anything at McDonald's. Even if we didn't have a store-bought sandwich, we'd have some variation of the banh mi. As a kid in elementary school, I'd have my mom's mutated version which consisted of thick slices of the Vietnamese meatloaf known as cha, liverwurst (American pĂątĂ©) and mayonnaise – smacked between two pieces of Wonder bread. On fishing trips with family friends, there'd be an endless supply of Capri Sun and banh mi in the cooler. Hungry? Have a banh mi! We'd pick that sandwich up with our fish and worm-flavored hands and go to town. My Lao aunt in Fresno also ran a small sandwich business right out of her kitchen and guess what we got to eat every time we were there - banh mi. Banh mi was seriously around so often it was like a brother to me – always there to wrestle and play video games with.
So you can understand why one would take a hiatus from the beloved sandwich. I was tired of it. After I graduated from high school, I don't think I touched banh mi unless I had to. As a college student, I made quick trips to Little Saigon to satisfy my broke ass. To me the food was nearly forgotten as I found love in other things such as noodles. Then around 2006, Vietnamese sandwich shops started popping up like the current food trucks as more Vietnamese residents and immigrants moved out of Rosemead and El Monte. On Valley Blvd. alone, you'll find at least a dozen places selling banh mi, including chains like Banh Mi Che Cali and Lee Sandwiches. This was the mainstream for the people of San Gabriel Valley and certainly not earth-shaking news.
Then earlier this week, my friend sent me a link to a New York Times article titled "The Vietnamese Sandwich. Banh Mi in America" by a Jordan Michelman. This was published after last year's banh mi craze in New York City which left me and I'm sure many others, scratching our head. Interesting considering most people look to New York as the pioneer of trends, especially fashion and food. This isn't the first time an article on banh mi has been published. But it was the first time I realized how long it has taken Vietnamese culture to be recognized in the history of America – especially since the Vietnamese have been here as early as the late 1960s. A few decades for New York Times to "discover" this sandwich? You don't see Jonathan Gold writing an article every 6 months on banh mi to remind us that it exists. Does something have to go through the New York "fad machine" before it gets any attention? Even in Los Angeles, the banh mi mutant can be found at places like Six (banh mi burger), Mendocino Farms (pork belly banh mi) and Nom Nom Truck (banh mi tacos). But I thought to myself, this is indeed a great time to really advertise the shit out of this delicious, Vietnamese sandwich... and really aggregate the credit it deserves.
Banh mi may be big in New York and Los Angeles right now, but it isn't big until it goes national. And when it comes to sandwiches, there's no one more sandwichy than Jared Fogle's Subway nation. Not sure why I even linked to Subway... you've got to be from space if you haven't heard of it. I like to have fun when I eat – especially with corporate places like Hometown Buffet, Souplantation and Yoshinoya. So I decided to have some fun with Subway and find out if I can actually make the Vietnamese sandwich an American favorite. But what do you call this new potential menu item?
Well, if a sandwich is a "Sammy", then a banh mi must be a "Bammy"!
On a random weeknight, I find myself standing in the most depressing line ever at Subway. There are five of us, heads tilted up 45 degrees staring at the menu of bland food. Is this what we as Americans resort to? A life of 9-6? 2 hour commutes? Buying goods by bulk at Costco? Lunches at Subway? Do I want to pay $5, $6 or $7 for a foot long blandwich? Should I have the blandwich with teriyaki sauce or the ham & bland sandwich ? The menu is simply comprised of words put up to disguise the word "bland" and there is no difference in what you order because it won't have any taste period. When a "sandwich artist" asks me what else I'd like to add to my sandwich, I usually respond with, "flavor."
But actually, as I'm standing in line with the other customers waiting for toasted boredom to be served, I smile a little. I have an advantage over the other customers and employees - and they don't even know it. I'm equipped with an actual banh mi sandwich from Chinatown's Buu Dien, some Maggi sauce, fresh jalapeno slices, scrambled eggs from home and some real Vietnamese pate. Yes! And tonight's challenge is to see whether or not I can make an actual Subway sandwich edible and dare I say, as tasty as a Vietnamese banh mi.
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It's now my turn to order and I order a toasted black forest ham and turkey Foot Long for $6, which by the way is equivalent to five banh mi sandwiches at your average Vietnamese joint. I wanted to keep this as authentic to Subway's ingredients and build. I picked the black forest ham because it is the closest in color and taste to the pink, headcheese (gio thu) and BBQ pork (xa xiu) used in banh mi. I picked the turkey because it is the closest in color and taste to the grey meatloaf known as cha. For the toppings, I added cucumber, cilantro, pickled jalapeno slices, salt & pepper and a thin line of mayonnaise. No oil, vinegar or whatever liquids they offer. I asked the "sandwich artist" not to fold the sandwich over and F up the innards. They even kept it served open face for me and placed it on a tray. I'm pretty sure they considered me crazy. Love it. Haha.
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I then drew an imaginary DMZ line to distinguish the Northern and the Southern region of the sandwich. On top is Subway's Sammy using original store ingredients plus pate and Maggi Sauce vs. SaigonWay's Bammy with the traditional fixings.
Subway's Bammy - plain bread - ham - turkey - cucumber - canned, pickled jalapeños - cilantro - mayonnaise - pate - Maggi sauce
SaigonWay's Banh Mi - plain bread - ham - turkey - cucumber - fresh jalapeño slices - cilantro with stem - pickled radish & carrots - mayonnaise - pate - Maggi sauce - fried egg (optional, it's what I love adding to my banh mi)
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Subway's "Sammy" For the first time in a long while, I felt fear. The last time from a serving of deep fried insects at a food stall in Cambodia. I had prepped myself with a few neck cracks and got my gag reflexes ready. I grabbed the sandwich... crumbs from the shitty bread landed on the tray. What am I doing? I took a bite and not to my surprise... there was absolutely no flavor. There was so much bland matter due to the sawdust bread and processed meat - I couldn't taste anything! Maggi Sauce is used to PROVIDE flavor. But yet it could not provide this time – it let me down. I put this sandwich down after the 2nd bite. Even a foot long of Cambodian fried insects had more flavor.
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SaigonWay's "Bammy" Now, on to the real test. I opened the sandwich and made sure everything was evenly distributed. It was the moment I've been waiting for. Actually the moment every American slave of the corporate lunch cafeteria known as Subway was waiting for. If I succeeded, I knew that I have done something for my country. I had at least provided ONE item on Subway's menu that actually had something called flavor. I took a bite, and I have to say, it was a familiar taste. Even though the meat wasn't the right kind, the balance of Maggi Sauce, fried egg, pate, fresh jalapeno, fresh cilantro and fresh daikon and carrots made so much sense in that sawdust bread. I actually ate half of this and partially enjoyed it. All Subway has to do is offer a few more ingredients that really don't cost anything! But you say the words pate or liverwurst and you'll lose customers. And what in the world is Maggi sauce?
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My work wasn't finished tonight though. This is my palate, and I know what I'm looking for in a sandwich. The true test though was finding out whether or not the actual Subway sandwich artists would eat my fixed-up version of their blandwich. I wouldn't go in peace until I had them try it. I waited for the right moment when the customers parted with their foot longs and approached this young man. We'll call him Justin. Within a few minutes and persuasive words, I had him sitting down at the table with the "Sammy" and "Bammy" in front of him.
Justin: "What am I eating?" Me: "You're going to eat a Subway take on a Vietnamese sandwich." Justin: "What's in it?" Me: "Oh nothing really. Just your meats and veggies and a few extras." Justin: "You sure?" Me: "Dude, I'm not trying to kill you man. Even if I was, you've got cameras rolling."
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Justin actually went in and took a big bite, making sure his gums made sweet love with that sandwich. He took a few bites and then looked at me.
Me: "And?" Justin: "Nothing. It's bland man!" Me: "Of course it's bland. It's Subway." Justin: "..........." Me: "Last one, try my version."
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Like a good employee, Justin looked to see that there were no hungry patrons queuing up. With a reluctant look, he picked up the "Bammy" and sank his teeth in once more. But this time, to my surprise, he raised his eyebrows slightly and his eyes widened. And there was a slight bob of satisfaction.
Me: "And....?" Justin: "This is actually pretty good. I like the taste. What's in it?" Me: "Subway's ham and turkey, fresh jalapeno, fresh cilantro, pickled radish and carrots, fried egg and the special Maggi Sauce." Justin: "It tastes fresh. Oh man, that egg is real nice." Me: "Yeah that's key man." Justin: "Alright man, are we done? I gotta get back to work." Me: "Thank you."
One down, and a whole nation to go. Is there hope for the American palate? Whether or not Subway actually decides to put this on their menu, I may not live long enough to see the revolt against bland food. I threw away the food and started packing up. As I headed out, Justin said:
Justin: "Hey man, what's that sauce you put in that sandwich?" Me: "It's called Maggi sauce." Justin: "What is it?" Me: "Flavor."
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Subway, dreams of flavored food can come true. Look I've done the POP (point-of-purchase) displays for you! Yes, I'm an ad guy! We can also start rolling your new Jared spots right away.
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"Hello, I'm Jared. Remember me? I used to weigh 450 lbs. I'm over in the Far East to advertise Subway's new sandwich, "The Bammy". I've cut out the 14 hour flight for you and endured some of the roughest conditions to bring you Vietnam's delicious sandwich. We use only the freshest, greenest cilantro. Guys.... can we cut. I feel some leeches in my pants."
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"Hi again, it's me Jared. I've also cut out the vicious Saigon traffic for you by riding helmet-less with my buddies Tuan and Huan. I almost wet my khakis like a little girl trying to cross the streets of Saigon! Where we going guys? My mom's expecting me home for dinner."
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So, if you saw "The Bammy" on the Subway menu, would you eat it? The truth is, you'll never see this on the Subway menu just as you'll never see a delicious shawarma, torta, cemita. Even if it was on the menu, you know it wouldn't be good haha. I would take any of those ANY DAY of the week over anything from Subway. But surprisingly, as diverse as America is, the Subway people of Milford, Connecticut still feel that their current menu is a good representation of what the American palate craves. So Subway, would you like your "Bammy" toasted or not toasted?
Thanks for reading.
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Source: http://eatdrinknbmerry.blogspot.com/2011/02/bammy-subways-take-on-vietnamese.html
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cuddlyspider · 7 years ago
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I mean for fuck sake the people I been with for three weeks have significantly less income than my step dad but eat significantly better. There is no excuse for his poor budgeting and food selection for the house.
He literally has said to a friend before that there isn't anything to eat at the house. But when I say it he acts supper offended and says it's my fault if all I'm eating is junk. But at the same time all he buys is chips shitty over processed sandwich meat, condoments, and flavored rice. No veggies, sometimes fruits. When he get veggies he is a dumb ass and gets the individually packaged over priced presliced crap that is somehow ultra bland.
He is a fucking brainless ape. How he works in prosthetics is beyond me. Well probly it's the only skill he has.
I don't want to go back to a diet of mostly grains and fatty food. Please. I'm gonna cry. I really hope the bus on the way back crashes and I die.
Idk I might keep trying to add more specific food requests like "get the good veggies not the shitty over priced garbage" "please get whatever large meat chunks are on sale. Idc what animal.its from just as long as is not overly thin sliced buklshit or ground beef. Please buy actual chunks of meat." Also please for the love of christ, there are more spices than garlic salt and pepper just as there a more condoments than ketchup mustard and mayo, you uncultured fuck. Get some fucking taste buds you bland boring shit head.
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